It's completely out of the blue when Kihyun meets Changkyun outside the bathroom after he's done his washing up for the night. But there's something off about him tonight. The youngest looks timid, and he'd obviously been waiting for Kihyun, so Kihyun just asks him, "What's up?"
Changkyun is fidgeting though.
"Just tell me what's wrong."
"...Can I stay with you for a bit?"
Of course Kihyun's eyebrow arches from this, but he shrugs and concedes, "Sure. Why not."
Changkyun follows him like a puppy to his room, and then sits around awkwardly, silently, watching Kihyun pat facial products into his skin. By now it's more than obvious there's something going on with Changkyun, so Kihyun asks again, "Will you tell me what's bothering you?"
"Uh. Don't worry. It's nothing."
"Then can I help you in some way?" Honestly, Kihyun is wondering how much longer he's going to have to deal with a house-guest—after all, Kihyun has a single room because he likes it that way. It's not that he dislikes Changkyun. It's just strange to have him so obviously discomforted in his presence. Then again, Changkyun is weird and sometimes he gets into weird moods and he's never much of a bother because he's cute, but it does encroach upon the members' patience to deal with him—and how he never actually says anything about whatever makes him quiet and clingy. Kihyun knows this mood, he just hasn't seen it on Changkyun in a while, and it's never been directed at him before. It's not anything really, but it's not something he expected to be dealing with before bed.
Kihyun may not be paying him much special attention, but Changkyun is watching Kihyun rather intently.
"Can I... Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Stay where? In my bed?"
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Are you actually a cat?"
Kihyun shoots him a glare but goes back to the last of the creams he's putting away. He thinks about it but the answer is always going to be yes. Of course. Because they all take care of Changkyun.
"Fine. Stay. Are you gonna tell me why?"
This isn't an optimal situation. Again, Kihyun likes a single room and his single bed because he likes sleeping alone. Sleeping with Changkyun isn't unpleasant, it's perfectly fine technically, but it's cramped and unnecessary when Changkyun has his own bed just down the hall.
"Are you clean? Or do you need to go wash your feet before I let you in my sheets?"
"Squeaky clean because you like it that way."
That's good news, but the extra information this reply comes with again sounds fishy to Kihyun.
"Right. Scoot over—go on then. I'm not staying awake for you to chat if that's what you thought our sleepover would be like."
Changkyun's cheeks color from this, yet Kihyun doesn't understand why. This is starting to feel like a different kind of Changkyun's solitary moods, one he hasn't seen before. Nonetheless, he gets under the covers and Kihyun gets under with him.
It's near pitch black in the room now. Changkyun is on his side, arm thrown over Kihyun's chest as Kihyun waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
Lying with Changkyun is comfortable, more than with other members because he takes more care not to shove his knee in your ribs, but this is different. There's something in the air that's not right. He's waiting for it.
Changkyun's fingers are tapping gentle designs on his sternum, so he knows the younger is wide awake. He can feel him radiating heat and energy and nerves. Definitely nerves of some kind. Like he's vibrating, and it's getting worse.
"You sure you don't want to talk?"
And it just comes flying out of Changkyun's mouth at this prompt—"Can we do more than talk?"
"Ok. If you tell me what on Earth that's supposed to mean." Except that Kihyun wants to fall asleep instead!
"Can I tell you a secret?"
This kind of behavior, the way Changkyun talks like he's breathless, and that hand on his torso, it's making Kihyun anxious. And reluctantly taking him further from sleep.
Changkyun's hand slips down Kihyun's abdomen, slowly, before he answers anything, he slides closer to Kihyun's body, cradling up to his side, as his fingers play on Kihyun's hipbone now, right where his shirt and underwear are parted to reveal a sliver of skin. Changkyun's touches are getting braver somehow, as he slides up under Kihyun's shirt, resting over his belly, hugging his side even closer.
"I think you're so pretty..."
And Kihyun wants to roll his eyes from this. What kind of a secret is that even? He won't admit those are probably his favorite words in all the world. A knot rises to his throat and he swallows it down instead. Now isn't the time for Kihyun's imagination to run away.
"That's your secret?"
"I like you. I like you a lot."
Kihyun keeps his facade and really does roll his eyes this time. Thankfully Changkyun can't see, otherwise he'd probably be hurt by it. "Thanks. You know I like you too."
Changkyun is sure Kihyun has misunderstood. That's ok. They can get back to this another time.
"Can I touch you?" Changkyun asks. Because he has a goal.
"You're already touching me."
Changkyun ignores this obvious reply, slipping his hand further up Kihyun's body, riding his t-shirt up along the way, nearly to his underarms and prays Kihyun won't stop him. He wants to touch skin. Kihyun understands enough to know that Changkyun wants affection so he begrudgingly wraps an arm around him and pulls him closer; ignoring the part about Changkyun being weirdly skinshippy. Changkyun's fingers even brush over his nipples and he chooses to ignore it. But he can feel Changkyun's breaths on him now, his head is cradled right under his arm and Changkyun is turning feral in a way—his face turns into Kihyun's armpit and breathes into him, sighing like he actually likes this.
His heartrate picks up, even Kihyun can tell. When most of his sensory input comes from touch, he can tell; all his senses are tuned to what Changkyun is doing now, to why he's acting so strangely. Changkyun's lips land on his pectoral and he mewls—this raises goosebumps on Kihyun's body, the slight sound eliciting a shiver from him, and if that wasn't enough, Changkyun's nails are digging into his other pec, making him itch practically. Changkyun's thumb brushes over a nipple, and he repeats, playing with the little peak until it hardens and then kisses vaguely at Kihyun's skin again.
"I'm gonna throw you out if you get any weirder than this," Kihyun warns finally.
The truth is Changkyun makes him uncomfortable the way he shouldn't feel around a friend right now. It's the same kind of shiver he feels when he's interested in a girl, which is wrong in this context. Worse still is that it's not unpleasant, not really—but he's trying to shut that part of his brain up.
Changkyun's head rises, to look Kihyun in the eyes. They have just enough light to see each other's eyes. But it's only a moment, before Changkyun's mouth reaches to Kihyun's neck and he inhales deeply here.
"C-can I do more than touch you?" The words are fragile, light, shaky; and they send a chill down Kihyun's spine.
And then Changkyun's teeth sink into Kihyun's clavicle and erase all sane thoughts from Kihyun's brain. It hurts. It's wet. Changkyun's mouth is hot too. His teeth are sharp. He'll leave a mark...
It's Changkyun who eases up before Kihyun thinks to push him off. "Can I?"
Some kind of sense comes back to Kihyun. "What are you talking about?" He hasn't been on the receiving end of Changkyun's bites before. He's seen him bite other members, usually their meaty biceps, but everything about right now is foreign to Kihyun. He's sure this is strange behavior (from both of them at this point) but doesn't know how to detangle Changkyun from his body and make him go back to his own bed.
Changkyun's lips land on him again, on the muscle of his neck, and Kihyun can tell the youngest is smelling him. Changkyun is so... weird. He's thinking about this instead of thinking about how Changkyun kisses again, a little higher on his neck. How he shouldn't be kissing him at all. And one peck turns into two, and into three, and then into ten. ...What?
"Do you like this?"
"What exactly is this?"
"Touching. Kissing, a little," Changkyun replies. His voice is low, and soft, washing over Kihyun's skin in hot waves, leaving sparks in its wake. The fingers of that wandering hand are decidedly good at finding Kihyun's weak spots. Dare he say, the spots that turn Kihyun on, when he's touched that way. It's making him arch into the hold, against any better judgment, as he bares his neck for Changkyun to play with. This is weird, he knows it is. He needs to tell clingy Changkyun to cut it out, whatever this is. The little brat isn't supposed to be kissing up his neck and fondling his chest.
"Changkyun... you're tickling me." It's the best excuse Kihyun can come up with. He's trying to keep his voice stern too but it's not working.
He never expected Changkyun to downright contradict him. His brows furrow and he catches his eyes. "How do you know?"
"Because you're not ticklish."
"Yes, I am."
"Not right now you're not."
Kihyun rolls his eyes impatiently. "Look, how about you go back to your own bed?"
This stops Changkyun in his tracks, fingers digging into Kihyun's waist, and this tells Kihyun that he feels insulted. Or hurt. Something like that. His gaze drops and he bites his lip.
Great, he's hurt the youngest and his stupid moods. So he takes it back: "If you stay, then tell me what you want. Cuddles? What?" Because you're being weird and you're making me be weird too.
"Uhh..." Kihyun has no words for this. So he waits with a peaked eyebrow for Changkyun to clarify somehow. It takes a moment, but their eyes meet again, and Changkyun looks like a wounded puppy.
"Kiss me? Please?"
"Uh... like how...?" Because Changkyun is weird but he can't be that weird to actually ask for that kind of kiss.
The younger's body shudders, embarrassed, nervous beyond all reason; and because Kihyun still has an arm around him, Changkyun is draped over him, Kihyun can feel all the wracking jitters and shaky motions that quake his body. Changkyun feels more delicate and frail in Kihyun's arms now. It makes Kihyun take pity on him, and maybe not want to push him off just yet anymore.
Changkyun is burning up. He knows he's in too deep right now, but maybe, just maybe if he takes it slow...
He brings his hips flush with Kihyun's thigh, and it's another piece of the puzzle.
That's how Kihyun recognizes that Changkyun is aroused, not just being weird. Beneath that one sliver of fabric, Changkyun's hard dick is resting on his upper thigh. While his mouth presses gentle lips to his collarbone again.
Kihyun should stop this. Whatever the hell this is, it's too much.
Another kiss, under his jaw this time. And finally it's accompanied by real words... "You're so pretty, Kihyun." Another kiss, higher still, and it lingers so Kihyun can feel the heat of Changkyun's attraction seep into him. He hasn't had someone behave this way towards him in months. Maybe even years. His lovers aren't this gentle usually.
Shit. Changkyun is not one of his lovers.
He puts a hand in Changkyun's hair, fully intending to push him off, because this situation is becoming dangerous, but Changkyun just crowds closer to him, inching his way on top.
"Let me stay with you..." he says, words ghosting over Kihyun's sensitive skin. "Let me kiss you. Please." Everything he says feels like a spell. Whispered right under Kihyun's ear, mollifying like magic. He doesn't understand, but Changkyun... he's making him flutter right now. Kihyun feels electricity course through him practically. It all snaps when Changkyun's breath lands right over his ear, tongue flicking over the shell, telling him, "I can make you feel good..."—Kihyun shudders, and the surge flows all the way to his dick. He moans audibly and Changkyun's tongue lands in his ear, the nail in the coffin—just a moment before Kihyun sucks in a sharp breath—fuck, he's turned on—he pushes an arm between them suddenly to get Changkyun away from him.
...He's unbelievably hard. Changkyun has given him a glorious erection.
"Changkyun..." he starts tentatively, can't look at him right now. Not after feeling Changkyun's tongue on him. And his lips. And teeth... shit. He should have pushed away minutes ago. He needs to pull his head out of the gutter. "What are you doing?"
"I—I told you."
Kihyun sits up slightly, which places even more space between them. So much that Changkyun's own obvious erection is no longer resting on Kihyun, thankfully, because that too is way too weird. His mind is racing. He doesn't understand Changkyun's behavior. If he didn't know better, he'd think the youngest was hitting on him. But that can't be right... it makes no sense.
"This kind of skinship is a little too much I think."
"More than that."
"I don't know what you're getting at." Actually, he's nearly positive Changkyun wants to cross lines, but he's incredulous about this actually happening right now. Even if everything is pointing in that direction, there has to be some other explanation, and Kihyun is waiting for that escape.
Changkyun crawls closer, places a warm hand on Kihyun's cheek. "I wanna kiss you." He says it pretty damn squarely too. His eyes are boring right into Kihyun's and he swears they're filled with stars...
All the stars, all over the world; Changkyun is burning brightly in Kihyun's bed right now. Kihyun bites the inside of his cheek, apprehensive about making this too real as he stares back, but he can't look away.
His heartbeat must be loud enough to hear next door by now.
"Yes." Changkyun's voice drops into a whisper again, as he gets still closer, holds Kihyun's face sweetly and crawls into his lap. His fingers trace over his jawline; he's watching Kihyun's reactions, knows he has his attention, thumb and index tipping Kihyun's chin towards him now. He waits, moves slow, and Kihyun's brain has completely dissolved. He can see Changkyun, his intention is obvious, and Kihyun has plenty of time to object, but he can't stop.
Changkyun's lips land on his, so softly they could be clouds. And his eyes flutter closed. Kihyun should pull away. He just needs to pull away, it should be so simple, but in this moment his heart is beating so fast, and when Changkyun presses their mouths together just a little more firmly, Kihyun's eyes slip shut. He puts an arm around the small of Changkyun's back, out of instinct, and he puckers his lips into an actual kiss finally, one that Changkyun reciprocates and Kihyun appreciates—but too soon Changkyun pulls off as if scalded—
Instantly he's in some kind of shock, hyperventilating and shaking, tremoring throughout his body and Kihyun has no idea what's happening has he looks back at him now—Changkyun's eyes are wide like lanterns, nerves racing horribly—he's fucking shaking like an earthquake. This has come from thin air, in an unhealthy way that distracts Kihyun from the fact that they've just kissed. So tenderly. More importantly, Changkyun needs to calm down before he passes out—shit, he can see it in his eyes, in the way there's not enough oxygen, in the way his mouth makes the most hurt and conflicting motions, on the verge of tears, heart constricting his airway and Kihyun can see and feel all of this from him and that's the priority right now—
"Breathe," he says. "Shit. Just breathe, ok?" Because Changkyun is scaring him. His eyes are scared. Plain terrified, Kihyun doesn't know how else to describe it. "Breathe and calm down. Whatever you're feeling. Just calm down first. I don't want you in a hospital in the middle of the night..."
Changkyun completely crumples, nerves shaking him like a leaf, he goes tumbling into Kihyun's chest. "I... shit—"
"Don't talk. Don't even explain. Just stop shaking. Please... you're scaring me. I want you to be ok, ok?"
Changkyun wails, it sounds pained, and curls himself around Kihyun so Kihyun holds him like a baby. He's trembling. He's hurting. This is some kind of panic attack.
"Don't shake. Don't cry," he rambles on, voice as soft as he can make it. "It's ok... Just calm down. I'm not angry. I'm fine. You're fine... Everything is ok."
Everything is not ok, but that's not the point. He rubs along Changkyun's back, trying to ease his nerves—whatever makes him shake this bad. When Changkyun breathes into his neck, he can feel, he can hear—his pulse racing, blood rushing, every bit of him twitching, the way he licks his lips, and the small whines he lets out that paint Kihyun's skin with heat and sadness...
"Shhhh," Kihyun soothes, combing fingers through his hair. "Just breathe. It's just us, nothing happened, ok? Breathe and tell me what's wrong."
"I can't b-believe I kissed you."
Kihyun chuckles, just a light little thing, to ease Changkyun's worries and lighten the mood. "I can't believe it either."
"Kihyun... Kihyun. I wanted to. I'm sorry—"
His breathing hitches again, and Kihyun rubs up and down his back more. "Shhh... breathe. Just breathe. You wanted to?"
"I want to."
"You want to?" Want to what?
"Want to... uh, make you feel good." Changkyun's eyes are so earnest that it's nearly heartbreaking. "A-anything you want."
Kihyun's brows knit. That had been obvious. Yet, what the hell?
What's gotten into Changkyun tonight? He's strangely clingy sometimes but not like this. This is past the line into sexual territory. They shouldn't be here. Even if moments ago Kihyun had made a mistake and let them drift here. His erection faded with Changkyun's panic attack, and now that the younger is back to normal, he feels the spell lifted.
"Are you saying... what I think you're saying? Because you're not supposed to be telling me that," Kihyun remarks, and he's trying to keep his voice airy, light, so they don't descend anywhere that might upset Changkyun. You know, de-escalation first.
"I—I know... It's just..." Changkyun buries his face into Kihyun's armpit again, breathing him in—weird as hell but Kihyun will ignore it again—and squeezes him close like a pillow. "You're so... I just want to."
"You want to?"
"You're so pretty. I promise."
"I like you..."
"You like me?"
"Don't repeat the things I say. I like you so much sometimes that I choke from it... I just, I don't know. I feel it so much tonight that I let it get to my head... I—I want you. I want to do stuff with you. ...Shit. I shouldn't say that, but there it is."
"Changkyun..." Kihyun tries saying, tapping at his shoulder to pry him off. This is so crazy.
"If there's any way, even a tiny little bit of you, that feels—that will be with me... just once. Maybe? I can make it good for you."
"Changkyun," Kihyun says this time with a bit more force.
"I'm so sorry. Shit... What am I doing?" Changkyun shakes his head, face rubbing into Kihyun's chest. Kihyun still has his shirt up all the way under his arms. It tickles slightly. "I should go. I feel stuck to you, but I need to go. I don't want to go. Tell me to go—" his rant is coming faster now. "Push me away and tell me to wake up and please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you."
Kihyun has no idea why, but he's able to say that so steadily. Firm as a rock, because it's the truth. He can't help touch down Changkyun's spine. Kihyun isn't as tough under the surface as he acts. If you get past the exterior shell that is annoyed at the peons of the world, the truth is that underneath he's pretty mushy. And he'll fall for someone's softness. He especially likes it when people are genuine. He doesn't want Changkyun to leave. Not after whatever kind of confessions these are. He would chain him to the bed before letting him leave now. He knows Changkyun would go cry in the kitchen. Not even in his own bed or else it would wake up another member. He can't do that.
"Stay and what?"
That part, Kihyun hasn't figured out.
Changkyun licks over an exposed nipple. Randomly. Because it was right there in his reach, but it catches Kihyun by surprise—he sucks in a sharp breath. Changkyun pulls at his skin with teeth and this makes Kihyun arch and whimper, and what may have started as a whim doesn't stop. Sinful kisses and bites provided by a wet mouth travel lower down Kihyun's skin. And blood rushes down to his dick, making him light-headed with lust, and captivated by the youngest again. Changkyun licks into his navel and Kihyun moans out. He feels like a puddle in Changkyun's hands—why? Why is he so easily aroused by him tonight? He's hard again. It's all for Changkyun, there's no denying it.
He wants to see him again. Those eyes of his.
He pulls at Changkyun by the collar and drags him up. There's no time for the younger to feel scared again, their eyes only meet for a second, before they're slipping shut, Kihyun having dragged him all the way into his mouth, and the connection makes Changkyun sigh exquisitely. Like all the weight of the world is lifted off him.
They kiss. Slow, sensual. Kihyun cards fingers through Changkyun's hair and helps pull him onto his lap, letting Changkyun straddle him and keeping his body close too as they build heat between them. This is intense and electric between them... it's not sane. But it feels good.
Kissing Changkyun is nice. He has such comforting lips, they move with him and mold with him; Changkyun is made to be kissed and loved. When his tongue laps into their kiss tentatively, Kihyun opens up to him, meeting him, letting their tongues curl together. Changkyun's breath is sweet, mouth tasting faintly of peppermint, and Kihyun likes this too. He can't help all the blissful little sounds he makes in appreciation, wants to hear him too, and so he rolls them, pressing Changkyun into the mattress as he settles between his legs, and now he has leverage to kiss him more passionately.
He can slip his tongue into his mouth, thumb on Changkyun's cheek, fingers fanned out under his ear as he kisses deeper into him, controlling him, letting himself roll into his body too. Changkyun feels so good under him, that he only wants to feel more of him. It doesn't matter right now whether he shouldn't be doing this or not. This feels good. It feels right. Changkyun is soft and he grabs at Kihyun's body in such a heartbreaking way. Whatever pain Changkyun is feeling, Kihyun just wants to kiss it all away.
They break away when Changkyun's nearly sobbing, but Kihyun kisses his cheek instead.
"I have you... shh..."
"I... I just, I like this."
"Yeah?" In this moment, it makes Kihyun's heart not only flutter, but soar to hear that.
"I like this so much... you above me..."
Changkyun's face colors with embarrassment, but Kihyun can't see that. He sees something else: Changkyun's eyes sparkling. Even in the dark, Kihyun can see their light. "You really want this? What do you want to do?" Kihyun asks. He's swept up in him. He wants to do something, wants to reciprocate in some way.
It feels like Changkyun's birthday came early; amazed that Kihyun is taking this plunge with him, it makes his already racing heart jump all the way into his throat. But in a good way. Still, he's embarrassed. "I—I wanted to touch you. I want to, but we can do anything you want. Just hold me and it's ok. We can just kiss... I can just watch you and I'd be happy..."
"But what would actually make you happy, hmm?"
"I think it's too much..."
"How about you let me decide that?"
Changkyun wrings a lip between his teeth before answering. He's woken up to what he's done by now: He's the culprit who's responsible for bringing this situation upon them. He's so thankful that Kihyun hasn't punched him and thrown him out of his bed, and of course he wants to do more, but that doesn't mean he should... "I want..." He hesitates again and Kihyun pecks him on the mouth to calm him. "I want to taste you," Changkyun confesses. "I want my mouth on you... that's what I want."
Kihyun groans but he also hides a smile when he bends to pepper Changkyun's face in kisses. "Ohh, you're so sexy when you say dirty things like that. And so unbelievably sweet that you're making me fall for you."
"Kihyunn~" Don't tease me...
He whines so pretty too that Kihyun can't help diving back into his mouth again. A moment later he changes his mind and whips off his shirt, and his underwear too, and then he's nude between Changkyun's legs, kissing him, and moaning between their mouths. "Tell me how often you feel this way."
Changkyun runs hands all over his back, down his spine and hooking onto the globes of his ass and pressing down, wanting to touch as much of Kihyun's skin as possible. Wanting to sate himself with his body, and Kihyun understands. He rolls into him, erections tight together, even if Changkyun still has clothes on, and kisses along his jaw.
"Just sometimes. Not often, I promise. I don't let it get to my head usually. I shouldn't have waited for you."
"You shouldn't have, that's true. But I'll tell you a secret too," Kihyun says, lips ghosting under Changkyun's ear, so it's torturous when he speaks. "...You're the prettiest. And I never want to see you cry. I never want to see you sad."
Changkyun's bottom lip is trembling when he nods lightly, saying, "P-promise."
Kihyun reaches for his clothing then, pulling at it until Changkyun helps him divest of it all and then they're naked together, so warm, and Kihyun pulls the blanket back over the both of them, making a cocoon just for two.
"You're so soft, Kyun. Stay with me a little longer."
They kiss. Because Kihyun has found he loves kissing Changkyun. Their legs are twined as they rub together, bodies flush and hot. Sweltering even. Changkyun is just so hot. It might be unexpected, but touching down his body, learning about him in a new way, it feels healing. He makes it last as long as he can because he loves this, but too soon he's getting light-headed. When he throws off the blanket, Changkyun bites him for the rush of cold.
Not really cold, but back to normal compared to the furnace they had built for a few cozy minutes. That's something he'll want again, he just knows it: kissing Kihyun under hot blankets.
But he wants something else tonight also. He wants to lick the sweat off Kihyun's body, taste him—fresh from a shower but also newly damp. When Changkyun reaches between them to touch Kihyun only, the dab of precome on the tip makes it just a little slippery for his hand to glide over him. He looks into Kihyun's eyes for confirmation. Then he flips them, regaining the top position, and slinks down the older's body. Kihyun smells divine... Changkyun is dragging his face down his torso. Is he really so lucky as to get to do this? He looks back up at Kihyun again, once he reaches so far down as to kiss along his thighs.
Kihyun is watching him and it's erotic; Changkyun's hand on his shaft already, he follows the kisses Changkyun leaves all over his private areas, breaths becoming shorter as Changkyun's tongue peeks out also, and then a line of wet sucking kisses trail all the way up his length, their eyes locked, until Kihyun swears out loud—"Kyun~" His voice is strained and his head flops back as Changkyun takes him fully in his mouth. "Fuck, Kyun..."
Changkyun's tongue goes right for the frenumlum, driving Kihyun wild, because not only does he suck and swirl around the head, but he's lapping at and putting pressure right where Kihyun is most sensitive, and it has Kihyun clutching desperately for the bedframe above. He can feel what Changkyun is doing to him all the way to his fingers and toes, and can't help moan out brokenly. This encourages the younger. His hand pumps faster over the length and he pops off only long enough to ask, eagerly, "I'm good?"
"So fucking good~"
The pleased response comes in the form of Changkyun's smile, as he licks the latest drop of precome off Kihyun's tip, and then takes him back in his mouth to suck him like candy. It's blatant that doing this makes Changkyun happy. Kihyun doesn't understand that part at all. How someone can have this in their heart, to want to do this to him? It's beyond pleasurable, but that's not the point. The point is Kihyun's dick is in Changkyun's mouth, and the younger likes it. How? Why? Changkyun is a mystery to him, even now. A fervid and rowdy side of him is flaring up and it makes Kihyun blaze for him. He steadies himself and tries to keep watching Changkyun. But he's so intense, everything about this so sincere, torrid and bewitching. He can't help the little moans marching up this throat with every labored breath. It's ok because Changkyun deserves to know how good this feels. This moment is rushed but it's fun like the best adventure.
"I-is this the first time you've done this?"
Changkyun nods and hums a yes around the erection he's lavishing. The vibrations travel up Kihyun's spine and only make everything tingle more. God, he's so wound up from how Changkyun is working him, that he'll come embarrassingly fast.
"Changkyun, jeez... make me hold out longer..."
"Come in my mouth," he says rebelliously, before taking him so deep that he's swallowing around Kihyun's head.
This drives Kihyun up the mountain and right off the cliff—he's coming before he even knows it. A pitched whine and then all his muscles tense and in the aftermath he's shuddering from waves of pleasure as Changkyun keeps sucking him, every last drop of him. As if Kihyun was a snack. When Kihyun looks at him, he's swishing the flavor around in his mouth like he's eating something delicious.
Fuck. Until he's too sensitive and Changkyun is still nursing his spent dick.
He pushes at Changkyun's forehead and the younger gets the hint. His smile when he looks up is wide and satisfied, and that smack of his lips, like he enjoyed swallowing everything makes Kihyun groan in agony.
"—Fuck! Why are you so weird?!" That's the hottest thing he's ever heard and seen and felt and he'll never be able to erase it from his memory.
"I can last longer, I swear."
"I don't care about that. If it was good then good. And I liked it too."
Kihyun pulls him up to his chest again, so their bodies are aligned and he can see clearly into Changkyun's eyes again. He's breathless still, as he asks, "How can you like that?" Softly though, because he doesn't want to seem ungrateful.
"You taste how I thought you would. You're... fresh. Somehow." And then he nose-dives into Kihyun's armpit to hide there. "Sorry."
"Don't be." Yet that isn't any kind of answer, is it? He sighs, letting it go. Kihyun wants to also avoid admitting that Changkyun has just given him the best blowjob of his life, because he feels stupid for coming so fast. So he redirects. Needs to thank him. "Tell me how you want to come too."
Kihyun takes him around the middle and flips them. He has enough fire flowing in his veins to scorch Changkyun in their kiss, claims his lips and plunders his mouth. Vehement in wanting to arouse him, make him feel good in return. Make him mewl so sweetly. Hearing him, so softly, strokes Kihyun's ego. His heart too. And his hands travel the length of his body, so interested to chart out all the curves and edges of his form. How his breathing alights, how his fingers clutch him in return. Kihyun is in love with this moment. Touching Changkyun sexually is foreign. But it's a nice kind of different, something curious that draws him near. In Kihyun's opinion, the more Changkyun bares of himself, the more attractive he is.
"Will you show me how you touch yourself?" Kihyun whispers to him. He wants to go back to taking it slow, wants to understand what Changkyun likes. But also wants to see him like a feast. He's straddling Changkyun's legs, and as he kisses over his jugular, guides his hand to what he wants of him. So Changkyun touches himself. A strangled whine bristles him, but Kihyun kisses away his fears. "Show me." He pulls away enough to watch him, but takes his other hand captive so Changkyun knows they're still together.
One hand on himself, the other being held by Kihyun, Kihyun nosing into his wrist, their eyes connected. Kihyun watching him from above, watching him stroke himself. It's so intimate. It's so little, yet so much to have his wrist kissed this way. In this moment. With Kihyun's eyes on him, he feels trapped. Good, because Kihyun doesn't want him to look away, doesn't want him to move. He wants to see him lose it slowly, right there beneath his gaze.
His tongue drags up his wrist and to Changkyun's fingers. Kissing along the tips. Changkyun's fist picks up speed on himself. He bites a lip into his mouth to keep down his whimpers.
Kihyun's mouth kisses back down his arm, down the soft inner side, and the gentleness of it shows he cares. Changkyun feels it in every kiss. It gets him higher. Each press against his skin. Kihyun's lips in the crook of his elbow has Changkyun sure he's never felt something so hot. Kihyun is playing softly with his body, just kissing, cherishing him, especially pulse points, watching him build his own pleasure until he can feel the tension between his thighs. In the middle of the night, in his bed, Kihyun thinks Changkyun is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
Changkyun isn't loud, but he's so expressive, with his wide eyes and rushed breaths.
Kihyun has found his resolve, new or foreign or not, he wants to touch more of Changkyun. So he settles close to him again, covering him with mouth and skin, kneading his warm flesh and pressing tightly into bones, anything to feel more of him; he lies over his side so he has a good angle to move with. Perhaps this is why Changkyun likes smelling people; in this moment Kihyun understands, because Changkyun is an elixir or ambrosia, radiating lust, and so he licks over his neck and places a hand over Changkyun's shaft—squeezes around Changkyun's hand there, and the pressure of it ripples throughout the younger's body. His lips part, eyes slip closed, and he lets Kihyun take over.
Being over someone's naked body, touching passionately to arouse them, causing their pleasure—it's been a while for Kihyun since he's been with someone he cares for. And that's the important part of this. In the darkness, it feels like he can see all the parts of Changkyun that you can't see with your eyes. He's mysterious and lonesome most times, unless he's exactly the opposite, and you never get to see the middle of it. The heart of him, maybe. It's always there, beating so near the surface but no one gets to touch it. So is this it? Being with Changkyun now, is this how sweet he is on the inside? A little broken and weird, but needy and loving in the best of ways. Kihyun thinks these are sides to friendships that are best left unexplored, because if he thinks too much, he might fall with him. Kissing him, touching him tonight, feels too real. Or unreal. It's too nice to feel loved. He's right there for every motion, every hushed whimper, every rise and fall of his chest, and especially those parted lips, trembling slightly with each unsteady breath, wet with sin. He keeps telling himself not to fall too hard into Changkyun's vortex. This is just one night. Whatever Changkyun keeps locked away is his own, something that Kihyun doesn't need to be part of. This is close enough. This is more than enough, since this syndrome has reached his heart already. He wants to love him as a friend. As if that's still a thing in this position.
In this way, he's pouring love over Changkyun's neck and collar, fisting him as best he knows, leading him higher, and with the softest of sighs... Changkyun is coming. All over his fingers. Kihyun catches a glimpse of him in the moment and it takes his breath away.
Stay close. Stay safe. Kihyun keeps him flush as the shocks of his climax rush his body. Milks everything from him and then massages Changkyun's come onto his belly, and all the way up his torso. Gross as it may be, he still wants to keep his body there beneath his fingertips. For a moment longer, Changkyun is his. He breathes so pretty. His heart beats so honestly.
He loves this boy.
And when he thinks that, he shakes the thought from his head and reaches for one of the t-shirts they'd discarded and helps Changkyun clean up. Usually he'd shoo his partner to go wash, because they're both sweaty from orgasm, but Kihyun isn't that cruel to Changkyun. Changkyun can stay.
Changkyun can curl up like a fluffy pet, messy mop of hair cradled under Kihyun's arm and Kihyun will hold him. And Changkyun will be weird and smell him.
"Thank you," he sighs into Kihyun's armpit. Kihyun just pushes his fringe backwards.
Then pulls the blanket over the both of them again.
They breathe together and it's suddenly so quiet.
"What now?" Changkyun asks. His words are shy.
"We keep this between us," Kihyun replies. "And come to me if you ever feel this way again. But if not, it's probably for the better. Ok?"
"And you won't look at me funny because of this?"
Kihyun's head tilts and his lips curve into a smile. "This doesn't get you off cleaning duty, if that's what you mean." That's not what Changkyun meant at all—of course he's self-conscious—but Kihyun wants things to be normal between them so he walks past it. Changkyun is a soft soul who he doesn't want to worry. He wraps him tighter in his arms and cuddles him. He still likes touching along the planes of Changkyun's naked body. It's so peaceful. So he surrenders a real promise. "We can kiss again if you like."
"In a few months time maybe?" the younger asks. "Can I kiss you again then? You won't forget?"
"I won't forget. Come to me and tell me and we'll kiss."
"Sleep now. Ok?" Changkyun nods, drowsy and cute, cozying up to Kihyun's ribs. "We have normal life to get back to tomorrow."
"Ok. Normal is good," Changkyun agrees. Then lets a warm yawn fan out over Kihyun's skin, and it lulls both of them into sleep. "Good night~"
Kihyun pecks his hair with the last of his energy, and a second later they're both asleep.
When Kihyun catches his eyes across the room after that, even years after that night, there's sometimes, just sometimes, this little glimmer in Changkyun's eyes. It's something soft and knowing, that reminds Kihyun of stars, and it always makes butterflies blossom in Kihyun's chest.
He'll always remember Changkyun.