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The shopping trip

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"Oh my! You're daughter is so pretty!"

Yuri didn't react at first, figuring the women was talking to someone else. 

Victor though had turned immediately at the voice and beamed at the speaker.

"Are you talking about my Yurio?" Victor replied, his eyes glinting with happiness.

'Please don't be.’ Yuri thought horrified.

"Yurio? That's a odd name. Are you foreign?" The women asked with a smile.

"That's not my name old man!" Yuri exclaimed angrily.

"Oh my, don't you have a temper?" The older women, now that Yuri could see her, smiled.

"Oh yes! My Yurio has quite the temper! But it's fine! My Yurio is secretly a, how do you say, softie?" Victor beamed.

Yuri looked at him in horror "A softie!? You придурок! Have you gone barmy as well as old!?"

The women shook her head "I remember when my daughter was that age. She wouldn't come out of her room for a whole weekend when we didn't let her go to a concert."

Victor nodded as if he agreed "My Yurio has done that too! Though it was for a competition."

"Otabek was skating!" Yuri defended with red cheeks. He was not embarrassed. He wasn't.

"Teenagers right?" The women laughed "Oh i'm sorry, my name is Dorothy."

Victor shook her hand "I'm Victor! And this is my adorable Yurio."

"My name is Yuri! Just because you're married to that katsudon doesn't mean my name changed!" Yuri huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dorothy's eyes lit up "You're married?"

Victor nodded excitedly "Oh yes! My husband is the best! So adorable!" He pulled out his phone and showed her his lock screen, which was a picture of Yuuri and Makkachin curled up and sleeping together on the couch. He then went on to pretty much coo and compliment him.

Dorothy laughed "I'm glad! I wish my ex-husband had talk about me like you do your husband." 

Yuri wanted to bang his head into the wall repeatedly or maybe find the nearest bathroom to throw up.

"I can't believe this is happening." Yuri bemoaned.

"Believe what is happening?" Yuri had never been so happy to hear Yuuri's voice.

"Katsudon! Tell this idiot he's not my dad!" Yuri exclaimed, pointing at Victor who immediately lit up upon seeing his husband.

"Yuuuuri!" He squealed, throwing himself at Yuuri.

"I was gone for five minutes Vitya." Yuuri sighed in fond exasperation. 

"Five minutes too long!" Victor replied sadly.

Dorothy laughed "Aww young love." She sighed nostalgically. 

Yuri pretended to gag "Kill me now."

"Yuri!" Yuuri gave him his 'disappointed dad' glare before turning to Dorothy.

"Hi! I'm Yuuri, I hope my husband wasn't bothering you."

"Oh no! None at all. In fact he's been quite lovely." She smiled brightly at him.

Yuuri smiled back "I'm glad. Victor can get pretty excited sometimes."

"It's adorable really." Dorothy nodded.

"Ok, I'm out." Yuri started walking away but he didn't get two feet before Yuuri was tugging him back by his hood.

"No you aren't. We still need to finish shopping." Yuuri stated sternly.

Yuri groaned "Oh come on! "

Dorothy fondly smiled "Reminds me of when I had to force my daughter to the store too!"

"Your daughter sounds lovely!" Victor told her.

Both Yuri and Yuuri looked at him in surprise.

Dorothy though nodded again "Doesn't she? Of course she's a lawyer now. Doesn't have much time to spend with me anymore."

Victor melted "Aww! That's so sad! I call my Yurotchka's mother everyday!"

"And she's very happy about it." Yuuri agreed with a fond eye roll.

"Is it to much to ask for a truck to just run me over?" Yuri wondered aloud.

"We're inside, so yes." Yuuri immediately replied.

"Can we go outside so I can get hit? Preferably by a speeding train?"

"They have no speeding trains in America. You'd have to settle for a subway." Yuuri informed him seriously.

"But subways are so gross!" Yuri whined. He didn't stomp his foot onto the ground like a child. Really, he didn't.

"Tough luck." Yuuri shrugged.

Dorothy giggled "Oh you and your daughter are so cute!" 

Yuuri turned to her in confusion "Daughter?" He repeated.

"Yurio? Wasn't it?" Dorothy nodded.

"My Yurio really is the cutest right?" Victor laughed joyfully.

"It's fucking Yuri! Not Yurio!" Yuri narrowed his eyes.

Yuuri tapped him on the shoulder with a "Relax." Before turning back to Dorothy.

"I'm sorry. I think there has been a misunderstanding." Yuuri stated.

Dorothy tilted her head "There has?"

Yuuri nodded "Yes, You see Yuri here isn't a female."

Dorothy looked surprised "Oh! I'm sorry." She truly did look apologetic.

"You are just so beautiful for a guy." 

Yuri flushed slightly in embarrassment.

Yuuri nudged him "Thank the women Yuri." He whispered to him.

Yuri grimaced "Do I have too?"

"Da. Be nice." Victor grinned.

Yuri growled, mumbling something in Russian before turning to Dorothy and gritting out a "Thanks. I guess."

"Oh no need! I'm truly am sorry for calling you a girl!" Dorothy apologized again.

"Grandma!" A soft voice called through the crowd.

Dorothy turned at the shout and beamed "Leo! I was waiting for you."

Leo walked over with a sheepish smile "Yeah, sorry. The bathroom had a surprisingly long line. Who are these people you're talking too?" 

"Ah, This is Victor and his husband? I forgot your name sorry! And their son Yurio- I mean Yuri." She beamed at her grandson.

Leo looked the supposed family over with a smile "I'm sorry for my Grandma. She can get pretty excited when she sees something she likes."

Yuri mentally scoffed "Great. A female Victor. What we all needed." He blandly replied.

Victor gasped out in enthusiasm "I have always wanted a clone!"

"Me too!" Dorothy replied just as excited.

The pair clasp their hands together and start rambling about, well Yuri couldn't tell between all the squealing.

Yuri looked between them with a utterly terrified expression "Oh no." 

Yuuri also looked pretty freaked out "I do not know how to process this."

Leo shook his head with a fond smile "I've learned not to question it anymore."

Is it too late to throw himself off a building?


Yuri only realized it after getting home but neither Victor nor Yuuri corrected the women about them being family.

He grimaced as soon as he realized he was smiling.

"Those idiots." Yuri also ignored how fond the insult sounded.