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Jeff's Monologue

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[JEFF TO AUSTIN]

I know you’re a good person. Even after everything you’ve put me through, I know you still have some good buried deep down inside of you. You were just angry and misled, and I don’t blame you. I was your punching bag and that’s perfectly fine because what are friends for otherwise? None of this is your fault. If anything it’s my own. I noticed little changes, I saw little signs, and yet I shrugged them off. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of being wrong, and I know now more than anything that I would much rather be wrong and feel stupid than see you sick and broken like you were two weeks ago. I saw it, the way you looked at me that night. I saw the fear in your eyes. You didn’t want to do it did you? I saw the hesitation with every move you made, I saw the way your hands shook. She did this to you, she got inside your head, she convinced you that life is war and she made you think that you weren’t worth anything. But I want to tell that she’s wrong. She is so very wrong, you are worth everything to me. I know that you walked into that room that night with the intention of taking my life, but I forgive you and I am asking you now; please don't take your life away from me. Please. You were all I had then and you’re all I have now. I know things are rough right now for both of us, between dealing with Hana and keeping you out of prison, but trust me this will all be over soon. I know you miss them, Luke, Caddy, Ian and Jon. I know you’re beating yourself up over it too. It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to be sad, but just come here and we can be sad together. You can stay the night in my room, you can cry on my shoulder, you can even smash my tv when you lose in Stomp if you want to. Whatever you need to do just please don’t step off that ledge, because so help me, if you do I won’t be able to go on. I need you. I love you, and I can’t lose you again. I’m already suffering the pain and guilt of letting you fall the first time so please don’t make me go through it again. I know you don’t want that, I know you don’t want me hurting so please come down from there, I think I owe you some ice cream.