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THE AVENGERS
Tony Stark [playboy]
Steve Rogers [capn]
Bruce Banner [Banner]
Thor Odinson [lordofthunder]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]

Monday, 5:09 AM

Banner is online 
playboy is online 
Banner: Tony? What are you doing up? 
playboy: steve is asleep and he looks v cute 
playboy: i needed photos 
Banner: Okay? 
playboy: why are you up 
Banner: Couldn't sleep. 
playboy: nightmares? 
Banner: Mm. 
lordofthunder is online 
lordofthunder: hello avengers!!! 
playboy: morning thor 
Banner: I need coffee. 
Banner is offline 
lordofthunder: man of metal!! why are you up so early? are you studying for your engineering class?
playboy: pfft no. i drank a lot of coffee earlier and the caffeine kept me up
lordofthunder: that's not good :(( 
hawkAYE is online 
hawkAYE: everything hurts and i'm dying 
scaryspider is online 
scaryspider: don't be dramatic clint 
playboy: goodmorning to you both too 
lordofthunder: what is wrong with the man of the arrows?? 
hawkAYE: i broke my fuckin hearing aid and now i'll have to sign everything in my classes 
scaryspider: dramatic bitch 
hawkAYE: hey 
hawkAYE: mr thanos won't understand anything and then he'll yell at me 
playboy: isn't that silver-haired kid in ur classes tho? can't he just help you out?
hawkAYE: t o n y 
scaryspider: silver haired kid??
lordofthunder: that is a fun hair colour!! 
hawkAYE: it's no one 
hawkAYE: ignore him
hawkAYE: he's high 
playboy: i am not, thank you very much 
Banner is online
lordofthunder: i do not understand the term 'high' :(
Banner: It can mean two things. 'High' as in very tall, or very high off the ground. Whereas another definition of 'high' would be someone on drugs, such as cocaine or marijuana. 
lordofthunder: oh...thank you bruce!! :D 
Banner: Of course. 
playboy: clinty poo just tell them 
hawkAYE: there's nothin to tell them old man 
capn is online 
capn: Oh god. 
scaryspider: clint you want a ride to school? 
hawkAYE: will it just be me? 
scaryspider: no i'm picking up bucky and the maximoff twins 
playboy: wink emoji 
hawkAYE: then sure 
lordofthunder: oh! bruce, would you also like a ride to school? 
Banner: Uh
Banner: Actually yeah please, if you don't mind.  
playboy: wink emoji x2
Banner: Stop. 
playboy: wink emoji x3 
Banner: Steve, sort out your boyfriend please. 
capn: Wink emoji x4 
Banner is offline 
scaryspider: imbeciles smh

the bb
Sam Wilson [cawcaw]
Bucky Barnes [ilostsevenpounds]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Wanda Maximoff [witchy]

Monday, 7:59 AM

witchy is online
witchy: if my brother doesn't stop pining i'm going to kermit 
ilostsevenpounds: omg what happened 
witchy: fuck wrong chat 
hawkAYE is online 
hawkAYE: bitches nat and i are on our way 
hawkAYE: you sure you don't want a ride sam? 
cawcaw: aye i'm not crowing to school anyways 
cawcaw: got my surgery today 
cawcaw: going* 
ilostsevenpounds: ah yes, we're all crowing to school 
cawcaw: fuck off 
witchy: Pietro piss off 
witchy: i know you're watching my phone 
hawkAYE: ?? 
witchy: Pietro keeps looking over my shoulder to read the chat 
ilostsevenpounds: so glad i don't have any siblings pwjsjwo
hawkAYE: buck we're here
ilostsevenpounds: yeeT 
ilostsevenpounds is offline 
hawkAYE: wanda, nat says she'll be there in ten minutes 
witchy: okay, thanks Clint :) 
hawkAYE is offline 
witchy is offline 
cawcaw: cause i'm...all aloooooone 
cawcaw is offline

private chat 
Tony Stark [playboy]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]

Monday, 8:31 AM

hawkAYE: tony help 
playboy: yessum
playboy: what happened 
hawkAYE: i can't hear jackshit right 
hawkAYE: but bucky called shotgun so i'm in the backseat 
hawkAYE: with the twins 
playboy: wink emoji 
hawkAYE: no you don't understand 
hawkAYE: he's more or less s a t on my lap 
hawkAYE: i'm having a bi crisis 
playboy: why is he on ur lap?? 
hawkAYE: wanda brought her guitar and it's taking up most of the room 
hawkAYE: he doesn't even seem to mind that his fucking hAND IS RESTING ON MY THIGH
playboy: you are in deep clinty poo
playboy: but i want you to answer me this 
playboy: is your attraction just that? 
hawkAYE: i don't get what you mean 
playboy: do you like him because he's hot? or do you actually know him on a personal level? 
hawkAYE: i
hawkAYE: i never thought of it like that 
hawkAYE: i really do like him, but if he were to ever reject me i'd still want to be friends 
playboy: then there's your answer 
hawkAYE: fuck 
playboy: ? 
hawkAYE: fuckfuckfuck
playboy: you got a boner didn't you 
hawkAYE: KnsejoandHDKESNEI

THE AVENGERS
Tony Stark [playboy]
Steve Rogers [capn]
Bruce Banner [Banner]
Thor Odinson [lordofthunder]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]

Monday, 8:46 AM

playboy: clint just got a boner 
capn: Clint what? 
lordofthunder: a boner? 
Banner: The process of male arousal. 
lordofthunder: o h 
lordofthunder: why doesn't he just take care of it?
playboy: he's in a car full of people 
playboy: including the object of his affections 
hawkAYE is online 
hawkAYE: T O N Y 
capn: There's the man of the hour 
hawkAYE: i'm going to curl into a ball and die 
Banner: Wouldn't be able to until you took care of that there thing now would you? 
playboy: o h 
lordofthunder: o: 
hawkAYE: bruce ;;
hawkAYE: i thought we were friends 
capn: Wait, Thor are you driving? 
lordofthunder: no no, bruce wanted coffee so we stopped at a little café 
playboy: wink emoji 
playboy: wait
playboy: brucie bear you had coffee earlier 
Banner: There wasn't anymore left so I didn't. 
hawkAYE: not to be a prude 
hawkAYE: but can we please go back to my situation 
hawkAYE: i'm pretty sure bucky /knows/ because he keeps looking at me and snickering 
hawkAYE: i hate not having my hearing aids fuck 
capn: Just breathe Clint 
capn: It'll go away soon 
hawkAYE: that's not helPING STEVE 
capn: Then maybe you shouldn't have gotten a boner 
capn is offline 
playboy: that is my m a n right there 
lordofthunder: i must go now, bruce is back :D 
lordofthunder is offline 
Banner: I guess I'll be going too. 
Banner: Tony, I'll see you in chemistry. 
Banner is offline

the bb
Sam Wilson [cawcaw]
Bucky Barnes [ilostsevenpounds]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Wanda Maximoff [witchy]

Monday, 8:58 AM

ilostsevenpounds: i'm fucking cackling 
witchy: why are we talking in the groupchat? we're in the same car, james 
ilostsevenpounds: cause i don't want ur brother to say anuthing 
witchy: ?? 
ilostsevenpounds: clint's got a fuckin boner 
cawcaw is online 
cawcaw: i heard clint and boner and i'm here 
ilostsevenpounds: FUCKING HELL WANDA DID YOU JUST LOOK OVER 
witchy: i was making sure! :/
ilostsevenpounds: he looks like he's having a mental breakdown 
witchy: i'm going to help him 
cawcaw: oya oya 
witchy: not like that you feathery dick 
cawcaw: bucky lemme know what she's doing man 
ilostsevenpounds: she's just put her phone on the seat 
ilostsevenpounds: she says "hey clint, could u hold my jacket pls?" 
ilostsevenpounds: she throws her jacket over the do-da 
ilostsevenpounds: pietro is fuckin confused man 
cawcaw: this is exhilarating 
ilostsevenpounds: k she's picking up her phone again 
witchy: that's not all 
cawcaw: ??? 
ilostsevenpounds: oh no 
witchy: @hawkAYE
hawkAYE is online 
hawkAYE: wanda you are a goddess to the earth 
witchy: peitroshirtless.jpg
witchy: peitroafteraswim.jpg
hawkAYE: FUCK 
ilostsevenpounds: IM- 
cawcaw: rip in pepperonis clint

THE AVENGERS
Tony Stark [playboy]
Steve Rogers [capn]
Bruce Banner [Banner]
Thor Odinson [lordofthunder]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]

Monday, 9:12 AM

scaryspider: the next time clint pops a boner in my car i'm going to cut it off 
Banner: I'm assuming he's gotten rid of it? 
scaryspider: i pulled up to a burger place and told him to get out 
capn: Natasha, that's not nice 
scaryspider: it's so he can get rid of it, i'm not just going to leave him here 
lordofthunder: bucky sent me the screenshots of the other chat 
lordofthunder: i'm assuming the "silver-haired kid" refers to the speedy man, yes? 
playboy is online 
playboy: oh definitely 
playboy: it's 100% pietro 
Banner: I choked on my drink when Thor showed me the screenshots. 
lordofthunder: can confirm, i was worried D: 
playboy: wink emoji 
Banner: Blocked. 
scaryspider: i don't usually gossip because i'm a capable bisexual™
scaryspider: but clint is doing the walk of shame w a burger and a milkshake in his hand 
lordofthunder: bruce just choked again D: 
Banner: Jesus Christ.

the bb
Sam Wilson [cawcaw]
Bucky Barnes [ilostsevenpounds]
Natasha Romanov [scaryspider]
Clint Barton [hawkAYE]
Wanda Maximoff [witchy]

Monday, 9:27 AM

ilostsevenpounds: CLINTS DOING THE WALK OF SHAME 
ilostsevenpounds: I REPEAT 
ilostsevenpounds: CLINT IS DOING THE WALK OF SHAME 
cawcaw: i'm literally gonna burst a lung fucking hELL 
witchy: i'm trying very hard not to laugh out loud but i can't help it 
cawcaw: just do it wanda 
scaryspider is online 
scaryspider: i can't believe he got a burger and milkshake 
witchy: maybe he felt bad for jacking off in their restrooms 
ilostsevenpounds: WNA DA 
scaryspider: that's fair have a nice day 
cawcaw: i know we're bullying clint but i have my surgery in less than an hour and i'm kinda nervous 
ilostsevenpounds: bitch 
ilostsevenpounds: no need to be nervous cause you're literally fixing the one thing you hate about yourself 
ilostsevenpounds: and i fuckin' admire that 
scaryspider: sam you'll be fine 
scaryspider: if you want, bucky and i can skip school to come with you? 
cawcaw: you guys :') 
cawcaw: also no don't do that, you're already late as it is 
cawcaw: mr thanos is already whopping clint's ass, i don't want him to skin yours 
witchy: if you would like, i could be your nurse? 
ilostsevenpounds: wink 
witchy: blocked 
witchy: i mean i could help nurse you back to health? 
cawcaw: that would be great wanda 
cawcaw: but only if i'm not interrupting family time or smth 
witchy: no, no. pietro has been begging for me to get out of the house so he can have some "alone time" for awhile now 
witchy: honestly he just needs to get laid 
ilostsevenpounds: i'm sure clint would be honoured 
scaryspider: clint volunteers 
hawkAYE: are you,,,trying to volunteer me to have sex with pietro,,,for me??
scaryspider: someone has to do it 
hawkAYE: i'm-

the odinsons 
Hela Odinson [numerouno]
Thor Odinson [lordofthunder]
Loki Laufeyson [missster]
Heimdall Odinson [illuminati]

Monday, 9:39 AM

lordofthunder: brother, sister and non-binary sibling i need your advice 
illuminati: what is it? 
numerouno: i'm not here 
missster: me neither bitchass 
lordofthunder: the shorter version of the story is that i offered to drive bruce to school
missster: your long-term crush? 
numerouno: the nerdy kid you like? 
illuminati: Bruce? is he okay??
lordofthunder: yes yes that bruce 
lordofthunder: and i do not know if he is okay or not 
missster: as in mentally or 
numerouno: i'm kind of intrigued because that banner boy is actually a sweetheart 
lordofthunder: i saw some pretty nasty bruises on his ribs when he lifted his shirt to wipe away some coffee from the corner of his mouth
lordofthunder: and i'm just worried that maybe he is getting hurt? 
missster: bullied? 
lordofthunder: no no, he's not been bullied since metal man offered to break their bones 
illuminati: the correct word is 'threaten' Thor 
illuminati: but maybe it is problems at home? 
lordofthunder: oh, thank you heimdall 
lordofthunder: but again, i'm not sure 
lordofthunder: i really want him to be okay, but i don't want to ask in case i hit a nerve or something 
numerouno: i'll beat them black and blue 
numerouno: but as the responsible eldest 
missster: actually heimdall is the eldest but go off i guess 
illuminati: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
numerouno: first of all, fuck you 
numerouno: second of all, thor u should really wait until he feels comfortable to come talk to you 
illuminati: how about you invite Bruce for dinner? and maybe to sleep over? i do not know if you are close, but if it is problems at home, we should help as much and as discreetly as possible 
missster: idk bruce but i've heard good things from wade and eddie so i'd definitely did for him 
numerouno: he's the reason i passed bio so ig i owe him 
lordofthunder: hm 
lordofthunder: okay, i will invite him to our house, but please do not make him feel embarrassed? 
numerouno: or say anything abt your crush? 
numerouno: got you little bro
lordofthunder: i shall message you his response later!! 
lordofthunder is offline