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Answer: Love Ourselves

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DATE: October 19, 2015 

 

Namjoon sighs looking at the messy writing on the page, he slouches in his chair at the sight of the date and nothing else. There were days like this. Scratch that. Everyday seemed to be like this. Everyday not writing a thing. 

 

Namjoon grabbed his styrofoam cup and sipped his coffee, he grimaced at the watered down taste and looked outside. The clouds had started to roll into the city of Seoul covering it in a gray haze. Namjoon frowned at the sight, he had written about the stupid clouds in Seoul probably a hundred times if he wrote about it once more he’d probably lose it. 

 

He glanced around the empty cafe blankly. It was bland and nothing special. Hell, the only thing special about this goddamn place was that it probably was the worst cafe in all of Seoul. Their coffee sucked and their food was dry and bland (not that Namjoon ever ate it). Namjoon had wondered how this place even kept their doors open he was positive he was the only one still coming to this shitty place. 

 

Namjoon glanced out the window once again only to stare at the light sprinkle of rain coming from the clouds. 

 

“Huh...Forecast didn’t say it was going to rain.” 

 

Namjoon glanced to the cafe worker with a blank expression and then back at the rain. He frowned, he didn’t bring an umbrella. It wasn’t supposed to rain. Just his luck. He flipped the pen in his hand and looked at his black notebook and sighed as he began to write about the only thing he could at this point. The grayness of everything. 

 

The black notebook held everything that was important and not important to Namjoon. The book was filled with lyrics upon lyrics some of them good others decent and a few complete garbage. They were all depressing ass hell lyrics, Namjoon vaguely remembers writing about death and pain one time. Now it’s just lyrics about stupid fucking clouds in the goddamn sky. 

 

Namjoon realized a few months ago that he wrote about what he felt and saw and Namjoon for one sure had a shitty life so everything he wrote was seemingly shitty and sad. It was a pain in his ass, adding onto the list of why his life was so damn awful. 

 

It’s funny, Namjoon had tried to sell some of his lyrics one time and when the buyer said they were beautifully written Namjoon almost smiled and shook his hands, that is until the buyer then continued and said his lyrics were too depressing for anyone to ever want to sing. Therefore, no deal. 

 

Namjoon was broke and on the verge of being homeless. Sure, he could just go home but he’d never give his parents that satisfaction. They’d just laugh and say “I told you so.” and then send him back to law school. Namjoon definitely did not want to go back to law school.  

 

He could have gotten a job but no one wanted a twenty-one year old guy that dropped out of college and had no work experience. It just gave the stereotype that Namjoon wasn’t a hard worker when in reality all he did was work hard. 

 

It fucking sucked. 

 

Namjoon sighed and stood up collecting his things from the table, which wasn’t much just his notebook pen and cheap phone he never used. If he was being honest he didn’t even know why he had it, he didn’t have any friends (he cut those off after he graduated) and his parents never wanted to call their reject son anyways so now that he thought about it he should just sell it to someone. 

 

He gave a small wave to the cafe employee and exited the cafe. Might as well walk in the rain when it wasn’t pouring out. His apartment was only a street over so he should be okay and not get too soaked by the water. 

 

But of course the rain started to become heavier and Namjoon sighed as he walked, just his damn luck. He really did think the universe was out to get him. He never asked for anything nor did he ever do anything to deserve this. All he ever asked for was for someone to appreciate his writings and songs. That’s all. 

 

Maybe it was too much to ask for.

 

Namjoon came upon his apartment building and walked inside. He was dripping wet and freezing and tired of this shit. He trudged up the six floors of stairs to his apartment door and took out the key from his pocket and opened his door. 

 

He sighed as he walked in switching on the light in the dark studio apartment. It was sad, the only thing in the room was fold out mattress. Namjoon had basically sold everything he owned just to afford the apartment. He had next months rent covered but after that? It was to the streets. 

 

He tossed his notebook and key onto the kitchen counter as he passed by and walked to the mattress and laid down. He stared at the blank white ceiling and breathed in. Wow was his life shitty. 

 

He closed his eyes and was close to dozing off when his back pocket started to vibrate, he furrowed his eyebrows as he took out his phone to look at the unknown caller on the screen. Answering probably wasn’t the best thing to do but Namjoon didn’t care about any of that at this point in his life. 

 

“Who is this?” He asked. 

 

“Really? No hello?” The caller spoke. 

 

Namjoon frowned, he didn’t know who the hell this person was, “Really. Who is this?” 

 

“Damn you take a kid out to eat tteokbokki every Friday after school and they forget you.” 

 

Namjoon raised his eyebrows the voice now sounding familiar, “Yoongi-hyung? Why are you calling me? How’d you even get my number?” 

 

Namjoon could hear Yoongi mumble something, “Got it from your parents, practically had to beg them to give it to me. They told me I had to tell you something about law school and coming back home or some shit. Anyways I don’t care about that, what I do care about are those songs of yours.” 

 

Namjoon scoffed and rolled his eyes, of course all Yoongi would want were his lyrics. No one ever just wanted to call him up just to chat, not that he wanted anyone to. “What about them?” 

 

“You know song writing has never been my thing,” Yoongi sighed, “Trust me I’ve tried to write about flowers and love and shit like that but it just ain’t for me. It’s your thing.” 

 

“I don’t write about love and shit,” Namjoon said glancing at the notebook on the counter filled with songs about sadness and clouds. 

 

“I don’t give a fuck about that I just need a song.” 

 

Namjoon hummed to himself and looked out the apartment window to the gray clouds. “What are you planning to do with it?” 

 

“Fuck Namjoon-ah, what do you think? That I’m going to build a car with it? I’m making a song you asshat.” Yoongi was getting frustrated Namjoon could hear it.

 

“Look Yoongi-hyung, I write shit about fucking clouds. I write about my feelings and half the time I feel like absolute shit, so you’re gonna get depressing lyrics.” 

 

“Namjoon I want to make music about life and life as far as I know it is shitty and depressing as hell. If anything it goes with my whole concept.” 

 

Namjoon sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Okay fine I’ll do it.” 

 

“Great. You’re in Seoul right? How about we meet at Sunnie’s Coffee tomorrow at noon and we can look over your stuff yeah?” Yoongi asked.

 

“Yeah sure.” 

 

“Okay cool. See you tomorrow Namjoon-ah, bye.” 

 

Namjoon sighed, “Bye.” 

 

Namjoon hung up and tossed the phone to the side and laid back down on the mattress closing his eyes. A bright light began to stream on his face and Namjoon opened his eyes to see a part in the clouds, the sun breaking through and shining through his window, he scoffed and turned around going back to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

Namjoon knew where Sunnie’s Coffee was, but he never went there. It was too busy and Namjoon assumed it was some frilly cafe filled with those teenagers and hipsters who wanted some espresso with skim milk extra caramel and chocolate chips and whipped cream on top or some shit for ten bucks. Namjoon was not about that. 

 

So when Namjoon walked in to see the cafe covered in exposed brick filled with plants and a small reading nook it certainly threw him for a loop. When he looked at the menu board to see simple drinks and foods for prices the same at Namjoon crap cafe Namjoon felt like he had been cheated. It wasn’t even that busy here in the first place, Namjoon was just stubborn and liked to cause himself misery apparently. 

 

Namjoon spotted Yoongi towards the back end relaxing in a leather couch and he felt his stomach sink in nervousness. What was Yoongi gonna say to him? They haven’t talked since Namjoon graduated high school and decided he wanted to leave his old life behind him. Was he going to be mad? Yoongi always did have a temper...

 

Namjoon slowly sat down on the other couch in front of Yoongi and looked at him. Yoongi raised an eyebrow, “You’re here.” 

 

“I said I’d be here.”

 

Yoongi looked like he was biting the inside of his cheek, “Didn’t know if you’d decide I wasn’t worth the trip or not. You know, cause there’s always something more important.” 

 

“Yoongi-“ 

 

“I don’t want to hear it Joon-ah. Anyways here’s the thing, I want you to collaborate with me, better yet join me.” Yoongi spoke lazily looking out the cafe window. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I know you probably could care less about me, it seems that way, but in high school we were a great team and we still could be. Your a lyrical genius Namjoon, and with my producing? I say we could do it.” Yoongi reasoned vaguely expressing things with his hands. 

 

“Do what exactly?” Namjoon asked. 

 

“Be big, be famous, something I don’t know.” 

 

Namjoon thought about it, he would be lying if he said he didn’t want at least a few people to recognize his words and if this was going to be one of the ways he could make it happen then he was going to do it. “Sure. I’m in.” 

 

“Cool, so what kind of songs do you got in that book of yours?” Yoongi leaned forward and pointed to the notebook. 

 

“Well like I told you-“ 

 

Namjoon stopped as he heard a gasp, “Yoongi has a friend?” 

 

Namjoon looked at Yoongi’s slack face turning into a frown and then turned around to see a quite significantly tall man in a brown apron with a tray of drinks in his hand. 

 

“I have friends,” Yoongi grumbled turning away to look outside once again. 

 

The man smiled and set the tray on the coffee table between the two couches. “Sure you do, and I don’t sell the best coffee in all of Korea.” 

 

Yoongi mumbled something Namjoon couldn’t understand and he awkwardly flipped his notebook in his hand. The employee smiled brightly at Namjoon and stuck out his hand, “I’m Seokjin but you can just call me Jin and any friend of Yoongi’s is a friend of mine.” 

 

Namjoon shyly shook Seokjin’s hand, “You own this place?” 

 

Seokjin gave a chuckle, “God no, my grandfather does but I’ll inherit it when he know...well yeah and anyways I do run the place just not completely. Any who, introduce yourself stranger. I remember every single person who comes in here and this is definitely your first time.” 

 

Namjoon let his mouth hang open in a bit in shock at the forwardness of Seokjin, he cleared his throat, “I’m Namjoon.” 

 

“Well Namjoon it’s nice to meet you, I hope I’ll be seeing you more now that you’ve come to realize no where else compares to here. Coffee is on me.” Seokjin gave a wink before turning around and going back behind the cafe counters. 

 

Namjoon blinked and looked at Yoongi who seemed to be scowling at Seokjin from afar. Namjoon sighed and reached down to grab one of the cups of coffee Seokjin had set down. He sipped it and was pleasantly surprised to be hit with a strong coffee taste with a hint of vanilla, this definitely was not watered down coffee. 

 

“Don’t drink that he’s getting material to blackmail you,” Yoongi grumbled shaking his head slightly. 

 

Namjoon sipped the coffee again happily, “What does he need to blackmail me for?” 

 

Yoongi gave an exasperated sigh, “Hell if I know that man is pure evil. He looks nice with that face of his but inside he’s plotting to take over the world I know it.” 

 

“He seems nice.” 

 

Yoongi scoffed, “He wants something from you trust me and stop drinking the coffee.” 

 

Namjoon sighed setting the coffee down, “Yoongi-hyung, I haven’t had good coffee in two years if he wants me to be his henchman then so be it I will because this is delicious.” 

 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Whatever. The songs?” 

 

Namjoon tossed the notebook to Yoongi and happily drank his coffee as he sat and waited. Yoongi quietly flipped through the pages, he paused for a moment looking at the page. “This one.” 

 

“Which one?” 

 

“Rain.” 

 

Namjoon furrowed his brows, of course he knew which song that was. It was always staring him in the face telling him how much of a train wreck he really was, reminding him of how lonely he was. 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Nothing i just didn’t expect you to choose that one, it’s one of my more depressing ones.” Namjoon spoke.

 

Yoongi hummed and nodded looking at the lyrics, “Yeah I think we need to edit it just a tad bit, other than that it’s perfect. I want people to know it’s okay to have days like this.” 

 

Namjoon looked at the notebook and then Yoongi, “Okay lets do it.” 

 

 

 

 

Namjoon looked up at the ceiling and sighed and the noise coming from his let, “I thought you already had the music for it.” 

 

The noise stopped and Yoongi rolled out of the doorway on a chair, “I had an idea of what I wanted and get up off my bed and do something.” 

 

Namjoon sighed and sat up on the mattress looking through the closet doorway Yoongi was in. Unlike Namjoon, Yoongi was actually able to get a job. Actually he had had a job since he was sixteen, he originally started working at the convenience store  by the school to save up so he could buy a Maschine MK-2 to make beats with. It took him a while to save but he did it, it was his pride and joy. 

 

Even now Yoongi had a job at the karaoke bar a few streets over which paid okay, it wasn’t nothing special just a enough for him to have money for rent at the end of the month. His apartment was small and wasn’t special by any means, hell he was making music out of his empty closet. 

 

“I already rewrote the lyrics a week ago hyung I can’t do much else,” Namjoon sighed again flopping onto his side. 

 

“Well then write the flyers,” Yoongi mumbled clicking things on his laptop. 

 

Namjoon frowned, “Flyers for what?” 

 

Yoongi rolled out of the closet once again, this time the wheels squeaked. “We need a voice.” 

 

“I thought you were gonna rap.” 

 

“I am, but not the whole thing. I need a vocalist or something.” 

 

“I can be your vocalist,” Namjoon cleared his throat   and let out a loud yell that was actually him trying to hit a note of some kind, “See?” 

 

Yoongi winced, “Namjoon I need someone that sounds like an angel not a dying cow.” 

 

Namjoon frowned and clicked his tongue rolling his eyes, “Fine, I’ll make flyers.” 

 

Namjoon lazily rolled off the bed and grabbed a piece of printer paper and began writing, the tiny apartment in Seoul was silent other than the sound of drums and piano notes being played back over and over again from the old laptop in Yoongi’s closet. They were focused on their goal, they wanted to touch the world with their music. They wanted to make something meaningful and if it started in an apartment closet then that’s what would happen. 

 

It didn’t matter how they would get there, all that mattered is where they would be after all this was over. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

“Name.”

 

Jungkook’s throat went dry. He stared at the table in front of him. He tried to look anywhere but at the panel in front of him each person staring him down. He felt like he was gonna faint, his ears started to ring and by all means he was definitely panicking.

 

“Name.” The woman in the middle said again louder.

 

Jungkook tried to swallow but all he did was gulp down air. He let out a breath and closed his eyes. He could do this. “J-Jeon Jungkook.”

 

The woman looked unimpressed and leaned back in her chair, “Sing.”

 

Jungkook’s heart started to pound in his chest and he felt the beads of sweat start to develop. He breathed in and out again. He could do this.

 

“Sing. I don’t like having to keep repeating myself Jungkook-ssi.”

 

Jungkook muttered a sorry and then opened his mouth and began to sing. Except it was all off key and his voice kept cracking. He couldn’t do this. He really couldn’t. He stopped abruptly through the middle of the song and bowed, “I’m sorry for wasting your time, I can’t do this.”

 

Then he ran out the door.

 

This was his third time in an audition room and this was his third time running out. They say the third time is the charm. Fucking bullshit.

 

He ran down the street to the nearest convenience store before barging into their bathroom and throwing up in the toilet, almost forgetting to lock the door behind him. He breathed in and sat against the wall. Jungkook let out a sigh which turned into more of a whimper and he closed his eyes just trying not to cry.

 

Slowly, he got up and flushed the toilet. He walked over to the bathroom sink and turned in the water rinsing out his mouth and washing his face. Slightly wet patches of hair stuck to his forehead and he looked at himself in the mirror.

 

How pathetic he was, how could someone want to become a singer yet have stage fright? It didn’t make sense. He thought maybe he’d get over it when he was younger by here he was at age seventeen still feeling like he would faint the moment he stepped in front of one person.

 

He’d have to call his mother and father tonight to tell them how it went. He’d have to tell them their son was a failure again. They’d probably be happy about that now that Jungkook thought about it. They never wanted him to become some idol anyways, said it was a waste of time. Of course they still agreed to let him go to Seoul for a year and go to school there and hopefully audition and be put in an entertainment company but so far it just looked like he would just be going back home at the end of the year.

 

There was a banging on the bathroom door and Jungkook jumped, “Dude, you’ve been in here for a while are you okay?”

 

Jungkook cleared his throat and opened the door, looking at the employee, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Jungkook went to the drink section of the store and grabbed a few boxes of banana milk and walked to the front and tossed them onto the counter. He grabbed his wallet from his pocket and looked at the employee who was looking at him. “Do you need something?”

 

“Ah sorry you just look really pale, are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Jungkook frowned and ignored the question, “How much do I owe you?”

 

“Four thousand Won.”

 

Jungkook took the bills out of his wallet and set the on the counter taking the milks and walking out of the store and down the street. He trudged his way through the sidewalks and eventually came to Hangang Park. He walked towards the grass and sat down with his banana milks in hand and sighed as he opened one up and started to drink it.

 

He took out his phone and filed through his contacts before landing on his mother. His finger hovered over the button for a moment before he pressed it and brought the device to his ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi mom,” Jungkook said.

 

“Oh Jungkook, how was your audition?”

 

Jungkook took a large sip of his milk, his mother always was right to the point, “It didn’t go well.”

 

“I’m sorry...”

 

“It’s okay,” Jungkook said looking at the Han River in front of him.

 

“Are you going to try again?”

 

“I don’t think so. I just can’t seem to get over my fear. It’s alright though.”

 

“You could always come back home now? Wouldn’t it be better if you came home Jungkook? Everyone here misses you.” His mother told him.

 

Jungkook hummed as the sun was starting to set over the horizon, “I think I’ll stay here until the year is over.”

 

“Oh okay, alright well make sure to eat dinner.”

 

“Yeah, I will.”

 

“Alright then, bye Jungkook.”

 

“Bye.” Jungkook hung up and looked at the phone a moment, “Love you too mom.”

 

He stared at the darkening sky and started to feel his eyes sting. He quickly shut them and took a breath before opening them up. He stared at the stars starting to shine in the sky. A light flashes across the sky and Jungkook scoffs to himself at the silly thought of wishing on a shooting star, he does it anyways, he closes his eyes and wishes with everything he has. He just wants to show his voice to the world.

 

The wind blew his hair around and he sighed closing his eyes for a moment only to open them back up when something flew into his face. It was a piece of paper, Jungkook grabbed it and looked at it and froze.

 

WANTED: VOCALIST

 

Vocalist needed for an original song. Might be paid if the song does well enough. If not, we will just give you lunch. If you are interested please record a video of you singing and email us at xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx . We will get back to you as soon as possible.

 

Jungkook stood up immediately. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe he didn’t need to sing in front of a bunch of people. Maybe he just needed to sing by himself. It didn’t matter if only one person would hear his voice he just wanted someone to hear it.

 

 

 

 

“Do you even think this will work?” Namjoon turns to Yoongi who is giving a passerby a flyer.

 

“I don’t know...” Yoongi said pausing to take a seat on the bench behind them.

 

Namjoon joined him setting the flyers next to him on the bench and sighed staring up at the sky, they’d been out here for hours handing out flyers and honestly this was their fourth day out at Hangang Park and they’ve only received a few voice submissions but none of them seemed to be to Yoongi’s liking.

 

“Oh look,” Yoongi said pointing up to the sky where Namjoon saw a shooting star fly across the sky. “Make a wish.”

 

Namjoon scoffed but he did make a wish and so did Yoongi. One could only hope it could come true.

 

The wind picked up and blew the flyers off the bench and into the air. Namjoon quickly stood up, “Shit.”

 

“Let them be Joon-ah, it’s easier than handing them out.” Yoongi said pulling Namjoon back so he could sit on the bench.

 

The two sat on the bench in silence for a moment before Yoongi yawned and stood up, “I’m gonna go home, you coming?”

 

Namjoon nodded standing up, he followed Yoongi out of the park and through the streets of Seoul just a few steps behind him, watching. Namjoon could only feel a bit guilty over the last week they had been getting together for the song. Every time he saw Yoongi all he could think about was how he just abandoned him.

 

Maybe he wouldn’t have been to upset about it except that Yoongi never talked about friends or hanging out with other people. All to Namjoon’s knowledge, Yoongi had been alone since Namjoon graduated and that was three years ago. Sure Namjoon had been alone too but that was by choice. Maybe it had been by choice for Yoongi too, Namjoon never asked though.

 

Namjoon cleared his throat, “I want to say I’m sorry hyung.”

 

Yoongi’s steps faltered but he kept walking, “Sorry about what?”

 

“I just kind of stopped talking to you once I graduated.”

 

Yoongi said nothing for a while and then shrugged, “It’s in the past.”

 

“I know that but that doesn’t mean I’m still not-“

 

“Let it go Namjoon.”

 

Namjoon closed his mouth and continued to walk silently behind Yoongi. He didn’t want to let it go, what he did needed to be apologized for. Why wouldn’t Yoongi let him apologize?

 

“You sleeping over or going home?”

 

Namjoon’s head popped up, “Probably home.”

 

“I don’t get why you just won’t move in with me,” Yoongi sighed, “You’re sleeping on the floor.”

 

Yoongi had seen Namjoon’s apartment once after Namjoon forgot his notebook. He told Yoongi to wait but Yoongi insisted he had to come and we’ll when he saw the place he wasn’t exactly happy. He made a whole scene yelling at Namjoon not having a job and not having a decent home to live in. Namjoon just stood there taking it all in cause Yoongi was right in everything he said. Namjoon was just stubborn.

 

“I don’t want to,” Namjoon sighed. Namjoon just didn’t think it was right that he kick Yoongi out of his life only to have him come back in like nothing ever happened and offer him a home. Namjoon would be selfish and he didn’t want to be selfish. He’d figure out a way to pay for bills.

 

Yoongi just mumbled to himself and continued walking until he stopped in front of his apartment building, “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow hyung. Goodnight.”

 

 

 

 

Namjoon was woken up by his phone ringing next to his ear. He groaned at the early awakening and rolled over and grabbed the phone pressing the ‘Talk’ button and putting it to his ear, “‘ello?”

 

“Namjoon-ah!”

 

Namjoon winced and brought the phone away from his ear at the loud noise, “Yes?”

 

“I found it! Fuck, I found it!” Yoongi yelled through the phone.

 

Namjoon rubbed his eyes and sat up, “Mmm, what did you find?”

 

“The voice!” Yoongi seemed to give a laugh.

 

Namjoon blinked, “You mean you found our vocalist?”

 

“Yes! I got the email last night at like three in the morning while I was sleeping, god Namjoon-ah, his voice is like an angel.” Yoongi sighed.

 

“Really?” Namjoon asked now more awake.

 

“You have to come over and hear it, it’s going to be perfect for the song trust me.”

 

Namjoon stood up from the fold out mattress and grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt that were tossed off to the side and put them on, “Yeah I’m coming.”

 

 

 

Namjoon wasn’t even able to knock on Yoongi’s apartment door before it opened revealing Yoongi. Namjoon was immediately pulled inside and taken to Yoongi’s “studio” and sat right in front of the open laptop.

 

Yoongi eagerly hopped on his toes and went to his email and pressed the link that opened a pop up. Yoongi pressed play and stood behind Namjoon. The video showed half the boy’s face and as the song began Namjoon’s heart seemed to stop. He could tell it was some American song but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that the voice was soft and breathy and filled with emotion, something that was so hard to convey in song even for the most aged musicians and idols. Namjoon could feel the pain and happiness within the voice and he finally understood what Yoongi meant by taking all this time to find the Voice, whoever this person was he was the Voice.

 

“What’s his name?” Namjoon asked turning around to face Yoongi.

 

“Jeon Jungkook,” Yoongi spoke, “we are meeting him in an hour.”

 

“What? You already made a meeting with him? Where?”

 

“Sunnie’s Cafe, besides Jin’s been bugging me to bring you back for some unknown reason.” Yoongi rolled his eyes and walked out of the closet and out of the bedroom, “And if we don’t leave now we are gonna be late! Let’s go!”

 

Namjoon quickly stood up from the chair and ran after Yoongi, he couldn’t miss this meeting.

 

 

 

 

“Well well well,” the singsong voice of Seokjin filled the coffee shop, “If it isn’t Grumpy and Dimples.”

 

“Hello to you too Jin,” Yoongi smiled.

 

Seokjin smiled back and leaned against the counter, “Its been years since you came in here and I’ve missed you dearly.”

 

“It’s been a week and a half.” Yoongi rolled his eyes walking over to the couches near the end of the cafe.

 

Seokjin smirked and looked at Namjoon, “A week and a half too long if you ask me.”

 

Yoongi looked at Seokjin for a moment before frowning, “Ugh, I get it now. You’re gross.”

 

Seokjin gasped, “I’m gross? I certainly beg to disagree.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“So,” Seokjin followed the two boys to the couches since they were the only ones in the shop and sat on the armrest, “What deals are you making today?”

 

Yoongi sighed, “We are trying to get a guy to sing a song for us.”

 

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, “A song?”

 

“Yes a song, Namjoon wrote the lyrics and I made the beats problem is we don’t have anyone to sing it. Namjoon sounds like a dying cow.” Yoongi rambled lazily.

 

Seokjin’s eyebrows seemed to go even higher, “Namjoon-ah you write lyrics?”

 

Namjoon flushed, “Uh, yeah, I guess I do.”

 

“He’s great at it. He’s just modest. He writes pure poetry, you’ll see when this is all over.” Yoongi told Seokjin.

 

Seokjin seemed to still be looking at Namjoon who was looking back at him, “Well I’ll look forward to hearing it then.”

 

The two continued to stare and Yoongi rolled his eyes at the sight. This is was absolutely ridiculous. The cafe door opened revealing a boy in black jeans and a black hoodie and Yoongi sat up a bit straighter.

 

“Namjoon he’s here.” Yoongi spoke taking Namjoon and Seokjin our of whatever weird trance they were in.

 

“Ah! I’ll get you some snacks and coffee, on the house.” Seokjin smiled jumping off the arm rest and towards the counter.

 

“Stop bribing him!” Yoongi shouted.

 

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Seokjin shouted back.

 

“You don’t need it hyung!”

 

“I’m not listening to you!”

 

The boy in the hoodie walked up to Yoongi and Namjoon who were sitting comfortably on the couches. “Are you Min Yoongi-ssi?”

 

Yoongi seemed to brighten at the boy’s voice, “I am, you must be Jungkook-ssi?”

 

“Yeah...that's me.”

 

Yoongi stuck out his hand, “I’m gonna make this short, we really want you to sing our song.”

 

Jungkook’s eyes widened a bit, “Y-you do?”

 

Namjoon smiled, “You’re voice is perfect for the song. We had to snatch you up before anyone else did.”

 

“My voice is what?” Jungkook seemed to be in shock.

 

Yoongi eyed Jungkook, “You’re voice is good, great even, we want it. What do you say? You in?”

 

Jungkook bit back a smile and failed, “Yeah...yeah I’m in.”

 

Chapter Text

DATE: January 4, 2016 

 

Namjoon sat on the couch in the living room with a blue notebook in his hands. His pen furiously moving on the open page as he wrote down ideas and lyrics inside. 

 

He had filled up all the pages in his old black notebook which was now stuffed in a box up in the closet in his room. He sometimes took it out  when he was bored just to read though it, the words inside made him sad because those were his thoughts just a few months ago, those were the things he was feeling. Loneliness. Fear. But now he was doing much better. So much better. 

 

Namjoon heard the door unlock and he looked up to see Yoongi entering with Seokjin trailing behind him. Namjoon’s eyebrows lifted at the sight, Seokjin only ever had time to come over every so often. He was usually always working at the cafe, he was the only employee there after all, he didn’t trust anyone else to do the job. 

 

“You’re back early.” Namjoon commented. Yoongi told Namjoon he was going to go shopping, they were running out of groceries. Namjoon always tries to go with him but Yoongi shot him down every time saying if he couldn’t cook then how would he be able to shop for food? Namjoon has no answer for that one. He’s probably end up buying ramen anyways. 

 

It was in early December that Yoongi drew the line with Namjoon and forced him to move in with him. Namjoon told him it was fine and that they didn’t need to move in together but Yoongi threw a fit and yelled at him. Eventually, through the argument, Namjoon told him he didn’t want to move in with him because he felt bad which Yoongi smacked him in the head and called him an idiot and grabbed his clothes, kicked his fold out mattress, and screamed for Namjoon to follow him. 

 

It was from that point on they started living together and three weeks later they moved into a two bedroom apartment a few floors up from Yoongi’s previous residence for more space. Instead of a small one bedroom apartment with a closet as a studio it was now two bedrooms with a smaller room for an office that they used as a studio. 

 

“Finished early, and look who followed me home,” Yoongi rolled his eyes as Seokjin gave a smile towards him raising his arms which were full of groceries. He went and set them on the kitchen counter and immediately went over the the couch and sat next to Namjoon. 

 

“I thought the cafe was open today?” Namjoon said looking at Jin. 

 

Seokjin sighed and leaned his head against Namjoon’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Namjoon’s right arm, “I closed early. Whatcha writing about?” 

 

“The air,” Namjoon stated looking at the notebook. 

 

“How do you write about air?” Seokjin asked seeming to tighten his hold around Namjoon, Namjoon leaned into the touch. 

 

Over the past months Namjoon and Seokjin had gotten close, they could talk about anything with each other for hours on end without stopping. One time, Yoongi had actually left Namjoon alone at the cafe after the two had been talking about Greek philosophy for a whole three hours after the closing of the cafe for the day. 

 

It was also in these past months that Namjoon found out Seokjin was extremely clingy, all the time. Namjoon had never liked to much contact with other people but somehow he didn’t mind Seokjin touching him on the arm whenever they were close. Instead he found himself being clingy back, something he never thought he’d do. 

 

“Well I was sitting here thinking about whatever and I realized air can be compared to love. You can’t see it obviously but you always know it’s there surrounding you. You can feel it change and such. Some people say how hard it is to breath without their love next to them or how they lose their breath at a thought of that someone. I don’t know really, love is kinda like air. You need it to survive, platonically or romantically.” 

 

“That’s poetic,” Seokjin whispered staring at the notebook. Namjoon could feel Seokjin’s cheeks rising on his shoulder, that meant he was smiling. Namjoon always liked to see Seokjin smile. 

 

“I thought you told me you didn’t write about love and shit,” Yoongi said putting the last of the groceries away. 

 

“I told you I wrote what I felt,” Namjoon corrected. 

 

Yoongi raises his eyebrows, “So you’re in love?” 

 

Namjoon’s eyes went wide and he immediately started shaking his head, “N-no! I mean, I don’t know, I just feel happier now I guess, I’m seeing things differently now.” 

 

Yoongi stared at him, his eyes subtly moving to Seokjin and then back to Namjoon. “Okay. Sure.” 

 

“I’m glad you’re happy now Joonie,” Seokjin said. Namjoon gave a smile and leaned his head on top of Seokjin’s and closed his eyes humming as a response. 

 

Namjoon heard a groan come from Yoongi, “You both make me sick.” 

 

“What are you talking about?” 

 

A quick series of knocks on the door was heard and before Yoongi even went to turn around to open the door it was opened and in came Jungkook running into the living room panting. 

 

“How the hell did you get in?” Yoongi asked looking at the door and then back at Jungkook. 

 

“It was unlocked, anyways shut up,” Jungkook began a bit out of breath. 

 

“Excuse me?” Yoongi was caught off guard but the disrespect from the younger. 

 

“I’m sorry hyung, any way have you guys looked at ‘Rain’ yet on Soundcloud?” Jungkook said slowly starting to breathe normal. 

 

“No not since December.” Namjoon told him. 

 

Jungkook looked at him and his eyebrows shot up, “Oh Seokjin hyung hi, I didn’t know you’d be here, I thought the cafe was open...wait- are you and Namjoon hyung dating now?” 

 

“Wha- I don’t- I’m just-“ Seokjin sputtered. 

 

“Never mind I don’t care-“ 

 

“Yah!” 

 

Jungkook took a breath and continued, “Hyungs, why haven’t you been checking!” 

 

“Huh?” Yoongi said.

 

Jungkook groaned, “HYUNGS. WE WENT VIRAL.” 

 

Yoongi froze, “What?” 

 

Jungkook took his phone out and pulled up the Soundcloud app showing them their song. It had 8 million views. 8 million. 

 

“No fucking way.” Namjoon said standing up to look at the phone, Seokjin still lightly holding onto his hand. 

 

“How the hell did this happen?” Yoongi asked grabbing the phone from Jungkook and exiting the app just to open it up again to see if it was real. 

 

“Someone on Twitter uploaded a meme with the song on in the background and people went crazy for it.” Jungkook grabbed the phone back and then gave a smirk, “They said my vocals were angelic.” 

 

A collective groan ran throughout the apartment, “We’ve been telling you that for months.” 

 

“Yeah but it’s different when some total stranger on the other side of the world thinks my singing is that of an angel. I mean I know i look like one-“ another collective groan ran throughout the apartment, “-but my voice? No way.” 

 

Yoongi clapped and gave a small toothless smile, it was the most anyone could ever get out of him these days and even then most of the time it was fake, “How about we celebrate? Chicken anyone?” 

 

“Oh hell yeah!” Jungkook shouted as he moved to flop into the couch next to Seokjin and leaned up against him, cuddling into his arm. 

 

Yoongi pauses a moment as Namjoon went and sat back on the couch and opened up his notebook and began writing again. He looked at Seokjin who was contently cuddling Jungkook with his eyes closed and Yoongi couldn’t help but frown. “So I’m going by myself then?” 

 

“Guess so,” Seokjin sighed snuggling closer to Jungkook. 

 

Yoongi groaned reaching for his jacket that he had thrown on the kitchen counter, “Fuck you guys then.” 

 

“We love you hyung,” Namjoon mumbled still looking at the notebook. 

 

“Yeah whatever.” Yoongi grumbled as he threw the jacket on and a scarf and beanie to keep out the cold. 

 

 

Taehyung flipped the market’s open sign over to the closed side and locked the door, turning around and stretching giving a sigh. 

 

“It was busy tonight,” his coworker said wiping down the last of the counters, “especially for a Thursday night.” 

 

Taehyung nodded, “Yeah, but we could handle it.” 

 

A cough from the last register made both workers turn to see their manager there, with two tills in her hand she ushered both of them to follow her and they made their way to the back office. It was a rule for the cashiers to count and take out the excess money from the tills.

 

“How was everyone’s shift?” The manager asked opening the office door. 

 

“Fine.” Both Taehyung and his coworker answered. Their manager handled them their corresponding tills and they counted the money giving the excess money to the money who put it in the deposit. It was only a few minutes later that they were finished with everything. 

 

“Oh, your checks came in. Hold on,” Their manager said looking through the pile of envelopes on the counter and then handing them to the right person. 

 

“Well that’s it, you guys can go. I’ll lock up,” She said smiling. 

 

“Have a nice night,” Taehyung smiled. 

 

They walked out of the office and Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at the envelope in his hand. It made him sick to his stomach. 

 

“Hey you alright?” 

 

Taehyung looked at his coworker, “Yeah...yeah I’m fine Jiwoo.” 

 

They walked past the staff room and Jiwoo stopped, “Don’t you have a jacket? It’s freezing right now.” 

 

Taehyung gave a smile, “I forgot it at home, don’t worry I’ll be fine.” 

 

“Are you sure cause-“ 

 

“I’ll be okay.” 

 

Jiwoo gave him a skeptical look before turning into the staff room and grabbing her jacket and running back out to Taehyung. The two walked to the back door and opened it. 

 

“I’ll see you Saturday yeah?” Jiwoo asked.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Alright then, get home safe Taehyung, don’t freeze.” 

 

Taehyung gave a smile, “I’ll try not to, goodnight.” 

 

Jiwoo turned in the opposite direction and as soon as Taehyung turned his smile dropped and he looked down at the envelope in his hands. 

 

Get home safe.

 

Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek and walked down towards the street. God it was freezing outside, he wish he had a jacket. 

 

“Hey mom, have you seen my jacket?” Taehyung was frantically looking through the little things there were in his room. He was going to be late to work if he didn’t find that jacket within thirty seconds. 

 

“Oh, your father took it,” His mom replied back from the kitchen. 

 

Taehyung paused. Why would his father take his jacket they were far from the same size. “Why does he have it?” 

 

“Oh he doesn’t have it anymore.” 

 

This confused Taehyung more as he moved towards the kitchen but he stopped as he looked at the living room to see a new television there, “When did we get a new tv?” 

 

“A couple hours ago while you were at the bakery.”

 

Taehyung frowned, of course they bought a new television. “So what happened to my jacket?” 

 

“Your father sold it I believe,” his mother said nonchalantly. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“We were only a few dollars short of the television and your jacket a almost brand new and a good brand and you left it here so he took it and sold it to a secondhand store and got the rest of the money.” His mother stated. 

 

“I paid for that jacket,” Taehyung said a bit weakly. 

 

“And you paid for the television too honey, thank you.” His mother has the audacity to smile at him. His stomach churned and his mouth just went dry. 

 

“I’m going to work,” was all Taehyung could said before slamming the front door. 

 

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at that small white envelope in his hand. He knew it held a few hundred thousand won from the amount of hours he had worked the past few weeks and he couldn’t help but want to cry at the thought of handing it over to his parents. 

 

He paused for a minute on the close to empty street and felt his stomach growl, he hadn’t eaten for maybe three days. He felt a cold breeze and then out of the corner of his eye he saw white flakes of snow start to fall from the sky. 

 

His lip started to tremble from the cold and he walked off towards to the nearest alleyway and turned and sat down on the ground. He let a tear run down his cheek as he sat there in the dark. He was helpless, he felt so helpless all the time. 

 

This had been Taehyung’s life for years. All he did was work and work and work. Him repeating the same thing everyday. And what did he get out of it? Nothing. Every paycheck he was robbed of his earnings by his family. 

 

There was once a time where he loved his family. He actively went out to find a job just to help out with bills and other expenses. That was how it all started. The job at the bakery owned by old Mrs. Han. It was during this time his parents realized their son was too trusting, to easy to take advantage of because he loved too much. They took his well-earned money and quit their own jobs to make him work and pay for everything. 

 

What did he get out of it? Shelter. That’s it. 

 

If he wanted food he had to get it himself, god knows his family wouldn’t feed him anymore. So he took on a second job at the market on the corner to pay for his food, but his family found out. It was then Taehyung realized he had become no more than a slave to his own family. He asked himself everyday why didn’t he just leave? As his parents knew, he loved too much that was why. He couldn’t bring himself to leave them. Not when he had nowhere else to go. 

 

Taehyung felt the tears sting his eyes. He was sick of it. He was so tired of it. He wanted it to end. He knew he wouldn’t be able to leave his own home and he had no one to help him, so there he sat in the dark alley crying away his anger and pain. 

 

His hand grazed over a glass bottle in the dark and in a flash of fury he grabbed it and smashed it and held a broken piece to his wrist. He started sobbing harder as the cold glass started to prick his skin. 

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” a man’s frantic voice came closer, “Hey, hey.” 

 

Taehyung looked up through his tear filled eyes at the sight of what had to be an angel. Maybe he already died because of the cold. He wouldn’t be surprised then by the man with white hair and pale flawless skin with dark black eyes looking at him with worry. No one looked at him like that, no ever cared enough anymore to look at him like that and it cause him to sob harder. 

 

Slowly the man reached for the piece of glass in Taehyung’s hand and took it, his warm hands touching Taehyung’s own cold ones made Taehyung shiver and remind him he was freezing,and tossed it somewhere into the darkness of the alley. The stranger then lightly touched his wrist and ran the pad of his thumb over it smearing the small drop of blood away. 

 

“Why’d you stop me,” Taehyung whispered to the stranger, looking up into his black eyes. 

 

“No one needs to die,” the man said solemnly, “I know that.” 

 

Taehyung sniffed and sat there on the ground. He shivered in the cold and the man immediately, without a second thought, took off his jacket and scarf and put them on Taehyung. “Come on follow me, let’s warm you up.” 

 

The stranger gently pulled Taehyung off the ground and held his hand as they walked out of the alley. Taehyung silently cried, his heart breaking at the man’s kindness. No one had ever cared. The amount of times he quietly sobbed on the streets or in an alley no one had cared but this time someone did. 

 

 

“No, but guys listen, the entire process of singing ‘Happy Birthday’ and cutting into birthday cake is kinda cult-ish if you think about it!” 

 

“Jungkook I don’t-“ 

 

“You’re literally chanting in a circle in unison around an object on fire, sometimes in the dark, and then you cut into that object. What kind of satanic cult...” Jungkook’s arms animatedly waved around in the air as he laid down on his back on the living room carpet. 

 

“I think he has a point,” Seokjin said softly. 

 

Jungkook sat up quickly, “Thank you! I’m glad someone finally underst-“ 

 

The apartment door opened revealing a jacketless Yoongi and a complete stranger wearing said jacket. 

 

Namjoon looked at the stranger, “Who’s that?” 

 

Yoongi put the boxes of chicken on the kitchen counter, “Uh, everyone this is Taehyung.” 

 

Jungkook perked up at the sight of the stranger and smiled, “Hi I’m Jungkook! Nice to meet you!” 

 

Taehyung gave a small wave, “Hi..” 

 

Yoongi went to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a stack of paper plates and opened the box of chicken and put a few pieces of it on a plate and handed it to Taehyung, “Hey Jungkook come get some food, hang out with Taehyung for a moment I got to talk to Namjoon and Seokjin.” 

 

Namjoon and Seokjin glanced at one another and then Yoongi walked over to the others in the living room. Namjoon spoke first quietly, “Since when do you have a friend named Taehyung?” 

 

“I didn’t have one.” 

 

“Then what-“ 

 

“Namjoon I think he’s homeless...he was trying to...” Yoongi looked troubled and glanced over to Taehyung who was quietly eating the chicken while watching a very loud Jungkook talk passionately about birthday cults, “He was about to kill himself...” 

 

Seokjin absentmindedly reached for Namjoon’s hand, “Where did you find him?” 

 

“He was in an alley...I heard crying and I just...I looked and he had broken a bottle and I just...I couldn’t let him...I didn’t want him to...I just...He’s so young Namjoon...I couldn’t...” Yoongi looked so helpless. 

 

Namjoon put his unoccupied hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, “It’s okay, I understand.” 

 

Yoongi glanced at Taehyung and sighed then stood up. The other two men following behind him as they went and grabbed chicken. It was silent as the five ate. No one really made a noise and then Taehyung spoke up, “I’m sorry.” 

 

Everyone looked up with wide eyes. Seokjin frowned, “Why are you sorry?” 

 

“Uh...Jungkook told me you were celebrating something and I just barged in on it. I’m sorry.” 

 

Namjoon shook his head and swallowed his food, “Don’t be sorry, Yoongi always buys too much chicken and we always have leftovers, it’s not even a problem.” 

 

“When was the last time you ate something?” Jungkook abruptly said, which had everyone looking at him. 

 

“Jesus Christ Jungkook, you cant say shit like that.” Yoongi groaned giving him a quick smack on the head. 

 

“What? I was just asking, He’s had like a whole box of chicken to himself. Even on my hungriest days I don’t eat that much.” Jungkook said pointing to the plate on chicken bones on Taehyung’s plate. Once shy Jungkook went away (which took a solid 2 hours) he became loud and had no filter and he was always too observative for his own good. 

 

“Ah...it’s okay...” Taehyung said, his ears a little red, “It’s been maybe three or four days?” 

 

Everyone looked at Taehyung for a moment and Jungkook quietly but into his chicken before adding, “Are you homeless?” 

 

“Shut up Jungkook I swear!” Yoongi yelled and angrily looked at him. 

 

Jungkook put his hands up, “I’m sorry! It’s just a question. He doesn’t have to answer!” 

 

Taehyung looked at his plate. He thought about it. Sure he had a place to live but plenty on homeless people have shelters to survive in. Where he lived wasn’t a home. It could never be his home. Not anymore. Taehyung looked at them, “I-I am homeless.” 

 

“But you’re so young...” Seokjin said next to him. 

 

“Parents threw me out as soon as I turned eighteen.” In a way it was true. As soon as Taehyung turned eighteen they stopped feeding him. Stopped caring altogether. 

 

“I’m sorry...I can’t imagine...” Seokjin apologized. 

 

“It’s okay,” Taehyung said, “I’ve learned to deal with it.” 

 

Namjoon looked at Yoongi, who shrugged and nodded, and then Taehyung, “Well you’re welcome to stay here. If you want.” 

 

Taehyung looked at him with wide eyes, “W-what?” 

 

“We don’t have another room but the couch folds out into a bed. You can stay here. Yoongi and I won’t mind, right Yoongi?” Namjoon said looking at Yoongi. 

 

“No, it’s not even a problem.” 

 

Taehyung gaped at the two, “I couldn’t do that. I don’t-“ 

 

“Please, we want to help.” Yoongi told Taehyung. “I won’t take no for an answer.” 

 

“But-“ 

 

“It’s easier and quieter if you just say yes. I speak from personal experience.” Namjoon said. 

 

Taehyung closed his mouth and then opened it back up, “Then I guess...” 

 

That night Taehyung slept on a pullout couch covered in blankets. It was the warmest and fullest he had been in years. He slept easily and in the morning was woken up by the sound on breakfast being cooked by none other than Yoongi who gave him a wave and a “Good morning.” and asked if he liked kimchi stew. 

 

It was the happiest Taehyung had felt in a long time. He had only met Yoongi yesterday night but he felt more loved by him than he had ever felt from his own parents. 

 

Yeah, the days before today may have been bad, but tomorrow would be better. 

 

Taehyung looked at Yoongi as he cooked. Yeah. Tomorrow would be better, Taehyung was sure of it.