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The Poorly Kept Secrets of Keith Kogane

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k.holt created the chat school? i dont know her

k.holt added t.garrett, l.mcclain, m.holt, and three (3) others

k.holt changed their name to gremlin

gremlin changed t.garrett’s name to sunshine

gremlin changed l.mcclain’s name to Sharpshooter69

gremlin changed m.holt’s name to memethew

gremlin changed a.altea’s name to queen

gremlin changed t.shirogane’s name to spaceman

gremlin changed k.kogane ’s name to red_lion

Sharpshooter69: hey pidge quick question

Sharpshooter69: what the fresh fudge is this?

Sharpshooter69: fudge*

Sharpshooter69: PIDGE WHY CANT I SAY FUDGE

gremlin: no swearing in MY group chat

red_lion: the hell is this

Sharpshooter69: WHY DOES KEITH GET TO SWEAR

gremlin: hell isnt a real swear word

memethew: pidge, you swear more than any of us

gremlin: your point?

memethew: fair enough have a nice day

sunshine: hello yes i am here and why

gremlin: because friendship

sunshine: touche

spaceman: Aren’t you all supposed to be in class?

red_lion: if i said no would you believe me

spaceman: No.

red_lion: damn

red_lion: well at least i tried

Sharpshooter69: DAMN ISNT A SWEAR EITHER?

spaceman: Lance.

queen: We are also in classes right now, Shiro, so I would suggest putting your phone away and listening to your professor.

gremlin: you tell him allura!

queen: The same goes for all of you! Phones off, attention at the front!

red_lion: yes maam

sunshine: right away

Sharpshooter69: if you insist, your highness

gremlin: fine

queen: Don’t think I can’t see you ghosting on here, Matt. Get to class.

memethew: sir yes sir

spaceman has left the chat.

memethew has left the chat.

red_lion has left the chat.

sunshine has left the chat.

Sharpshooter69 has left the chat.

gremlin has left the chat.

queen: *sigh*

queen has left the chat.

Chapter Text

sunshine > school? i dont know her

sunshine: keith is this you

sunshine sent image [mechanicinaredbandana.jpg]

Sharpshooter69: can confirm he has his mullet

red_lion: what are you all on about

sunshine: KEITH YOU WORK AT MECHANICS OF MARMORA AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME

red_lion: ???

gremlin: is that or is that not you in the photo

gremlin: it’s poor enough quality that i don’t trust lance’s judgement

red_lion: do i look like a mechanic to you???

spaceman: Didn’t you want to be one in ninth grade?

red_lion: and now im taking humanities?

Sharpshooter69: not to mention he looks like a twig

gremlin: rich coming from you

red_lion: werent you the one who said the guy in the pic was me???

sunshine: just give me a straight answer keith

sunshine: do you or do you not work at mechanics of marmora

red_lion: no

memethew: looks like thats that then

spaceman: How long have you been lurking, Matt?

memethew: i dont know what youre talking about

queen: I am more curious about how Lance can recognize Keith by his hair alone.

Sharpshooter69: i dont know what youre talking about

gremlin: the evidence is in the chat

Sharpshooter69: NO ITS NOT

sunshine: sorry bud

Sharpshooter69: SHOOT

Sharpshooter69: shoot*

Sharpshooter69: pidge whY CANT I SAY SHOOT

gremlin: its a swear

Sharpshooter69: AND HELL AND DAMN ARENT?

gremlin: no

Sharpshooter69: godammit pidge

Sharpshooter69: wait how is THAT not a swear?

gremlin: like you already pointed out, damn is fine

gremlin: and god is a name, you arent swearing just being disrespectful

Sharpshooter69: LET ME SWEAR PROPERLY OR I S2G I WILL MURK YOU

spaceman: Lance please calm down.

red_lion: “you arent swearing just being disrespectful”

Sharpshooter69: I WILL MURK YOU TOO KEITH

Sharpshooter69: ILL STAB YOU WITH YOUR OWN KNIFE

red_lion: gasp

gremlin kicked Sharpshooter69 from the chat.

gremlin: no murder in my good christian minecraft server

red_lion: so violent

spaceman: Keith.

memethew: you dont have a chance shiro just give up

gremlin: he learned that lesson the hard way

gremlin: there was a time when he too was idealistic about his abilities to control the young person under his wing

gremlin: i cleared up that misconception pretty quick

BlueBro > Bros

BlueBro: tell pidge to let me back to the gc

GoldBro: why

BlueBro: i have something to tell her

sunshine > school? i dont know her

sunshine: lance says he needs to tell you something pidge add him back’

gremlin: fine

gremlin added Sharpshooter69 to the chat.

Sharpshooter69: beach

sunshine kicked Sharpshooter69 from the chat.

quiche > shift change

quiche: please tell me none of you know hunk garrett or anyone he knows

lotion: i dont know who this hunk person is, but i am curious to know why youre asking

bear: yeah. i would think your message sounded almost desperate if i didnt know you better.

quiche: just dont tell anyone i work at mm if someone comes asking?

lotion: you owe each of us a shift

quiche: deal

rope: wow you answered right away. you really are desperate

quiche left the chat.

Chapter Text

shay-rah > The Dream Team

shay-rah: Balmera Brewed is officially open for business!

romellow: congrats shay! cant wait to come see!

hunkalicious: which location did your parents end up choosing?

shay-rah: You know that place just across from Mechanics of Marmora?

shay-rah: I’ve already had one of the owners in here this morning! Antok, I think his name is?

hunkalicious: can you do me a favor?

romellow: what are you up to

hunkalicious: can you keep an eye out for a guy with longish, black hair?

hunkalicious: usually wearing a red jacket, a bit shorter than me?

hunkalicious: i need to know if he works at marmora and he wont tell me

romellow: do you think there might be a reason for that?

hunkalicious: why would he want to hide the fact he works at the best mechanic shop in the city?? ive wanted to work there since i entered high school! and if keith got in, thats just going to make me more impressed with him

shay-rah: I’ll keep an eye out for him.

hunkalicious: thank you shay!!! i have to go now, im meeting lance in front of the school. we are going to get froyo.

shay-rah: Bye!

romellow: see ya

hunkalicious has left the chat.

lotion > shift change

lotion: keith you might want to know that a girl from the new establishment across the street seems to be looking for you

quiche: what does she look like

lotion: short brown hair, tanned skin, the most peculiar golden eyes

rope: a bit taller than you

quiche: she doesnt sound familiar

quiche: are you sure shes looking for me?

axe: youre the only person who works here that is both short and has long, dark hair

lotion: and shes using your name

quiche: fudge

quiche: fudge pidges hacking!

rope: you censoring yourself?

quiche: pidge censored our gc, and i think it was a virus

quiche: let me know if you cant swear in your other chats so i can sue pidge

bear: if i cant swear in my chats im tracking you down and snapping you in half, alright twig?

quiche: id like to see you try

rope: zethrid vs keith, im taking bets

axe: sorry zeth, my moneys on keith

lotion: i think it would be close, but i will say keith, since it will give zethrid more cause to thrash him

quiche: wow thanks

cat: keith

rope: lurking until theres a bet on, ey narti?

cat: i didn’t have anything to say

bear: i feel betrayed. do you all really think i couldnt beat this twerp?

rope: have you seen him fight?

lotion: she has a point

quiche: this conversation has been very

quiche: interesting

quiche: but i should go solve the spy problem

axe: remind me why you dont want your friends to know you work here

quiche: sorry, gtg, i set my apartment on fire

axe: we all know that you dont have to money to risk a fire

quiche has left the chat.

Chapter Text

Sharpshoot69 > school? i dont know her

Sharpshoot69: i am a stupid human being

Sharpshoot69: no one should eat this many

sunshine: this many what??

sunshine: THIS MANY WHAT, LANCE

Sharpshoot69: remember when i bought all the chocolate

sunshine: lance no!

gremlin: dude

Sharpshoot69: update: i have eaten seventeen hershey bars and four mars bars

memethew: dude

Sharpshoot69: still going strong

Sharpshoot69: but i feel sick

gremling: well DUH

sunshine: im coming over right now

spaceman: Lance, why are you still eating them if you feel sick?

Sharpshoot69: cuz choclat obvs

red_lion: youre right, you are stupid

Sharpshoot69: DAD KEITH’S BEING MEAN

spaceman: I’m not your dad.

memethew: he never said he was talking to you

spaceman: Fudge.

memethew: DID THE SIX YEAR OLD JUST TRY TO SWEAR

gremlin: gasp

red_lion: and he was still using proper punctuation

spaceman: I’m not six.

queen: Sure you’re not.

spaceman: Allura!

memethew: i can hear the betrayal from here

Sharpshoot69: how many choclat is 2 mny chosadifarg

spaceman: Lance?!

sunshine: sorry, just me. i took his phone away.

queen: Is Lance alright?

sunshine: hes fine

sunshine: or, he will be, anyway

sunshine: as soon as hes done throwing up

spaceman: Keep us posted.

sunshine: will do

memethew: sooo… anyone down to hang this lovely saturday afternoon?

gremling: like id want to spend any more time with you

queen: I’d love to, Matt.

spaceman: Sure.

sunshine: lance and i are free

red_lion: sorry, i have plans

Sharpshoot69: keith? having plans?

red_lion: you done throwing up

Sharpshoot69: pfft i didnt throw up

sunshine: my dude, you are lying through your teeth

sunshine: WHY did you eat all the chocolate?

Sharpshoot69: cuz choclat duh

Sharpshoot69: anyway, keith, what plans?

red_lion: why would i tell you

Sharpshoot69: because otherwise ill just think youre avoiding us

red_lion: now why ever would i do that

spaceman: Keith…

red_lion: so, but seriously, im busy

red_lion has left the chat.

sunshine: soo… all meet up at that new place, Balmera Brewed?

Sharpshoot69: oh, that place is good!

spaceman: sounds like a plan

memethew: see you all there!

Sharpshoot69 has left the chat.

memethew has left the chat.

sunshine has left the chat.

queen has left the chat.

spaceman has left the chat.

gremlin: bye losers

gremlin has left the chat.

Chapter Text

lotion > shift change

lotion: keith, follow axca and ezor out the back

quiche: why? whats going on?

bear: im on guard duty arent i?

lotion: yes, with me and narti

quiche: will someone tell me whats going on?

cat: those people youre hiding from are just outside

quiche: what?! what are they doing here?

lotion: i believe they are getting coffee at that place across the street

rope: less texting, more walking, lets go!

quiche: whats the point of this if theyre going to the coffee shop?

quiche: i could just not go out front

axe: the owners daughter is friends with antok

lotion: are you hidden yet?

rope: yep

bear: keith you didnt tell us your friends knew allura

bear: lotors turning on the charm but it doesnt work on her

bear: shay and some guy with a headband are interrogating antok and ulaz

quiche: 1) whos shay 2) are the bosses telling

bear: ulaz is citing employee confidentiality but antok looks close to cracking

bear: shays the coffee shop girl who was asking around before

bear: looks like she has antok wrapped around her finger too

rope: antok? really?

bear: how important is keeping this secret because at this rate if antok doesnt cave lotor will

quiche: i cant have them looking at me like a charity case

axe: why would they think youre a charity case?

quiche: oh lets see

quiche: 1) i work at mm 2) minors cant work here w/o permission 3) i dont have a guardian, but 4) im emancipated. 5) the circumstances leading to this were unfavorable 6) hunk will find this out because hes sure to ask for a job 7) the others will ask why they havent met my parents 9) ill have to lie or tell the truth 10) they find out im emancipated 11) they find out why 12) keith = charity case

axe: youve really thought about this

quiche: i dont know how i made these friends but id like to keep them

cat: too late, antok broke

quiche: im gonna split

quiche: tell kolivan im sorry

quiche has left the chat.

CLONE > Holt in the meme of names

CLONE: so while all yous peoples are spying on marmora, unknowingly recruited by hunk

OG: oh we know but we are also curious

CLONE: BESIDE THE POINT

CLONE: i hacked their employee database

OG: thats illegal but go on

CLONE: keith DOES work there

OG: but one of the owners just finished explaining to hunk and his friend that minors cant work there

CLONE: without guardian permission they cant

OG: hang on i need to check something

CompSci > college ayyy

CompSci: keiths never talked about his family right?

AstroPhys: No? Why?

CompSci: Just curious.

LingAnthro: Matt, you’re suspicious when you use proper punctuation.

CompSci: arent you interrogating lotor rn

LingAnthro: Pidge already told me Keith works here, our mission is accomplished.

PreMed: What mission?

AstroPhys: Nothing, Adam.

PreMid: You are a terrible liar, Shiro.

CompSci: we confirmed that keith works at mechanics of marmora

PreMed: I thought minors can’t work there.

CompSci: without guardian permission, hence my first question

AstroPhys: I’ve known him longest and I still haven’t met his family.

CompSci: thats all i needed to know

OG > Holt in the meme of names

OG: even shiro hasnt met his parents

CLONE: hmm

CLONE: time to get busy, then

OG: pidge! you cant snoop!

CLONE: why not

OG: you know how private he is

CLONE: arent you curious?

CLONE: its been almost two years and we hardly know the guy

OG: ...you have a point

OG: okay DISCREET snooping

CLONE: im always discreet

CLONE has left the chat.

OG has left the chat.

Chapter Text

red_lion > school? i dont know her

red_lion: what the hell you guys

Sharpshooter69: wdym

red_lion: why didnt you just drop it when i said no?

sunshine: to be fair, you were lying

gremlin: why tho

red_lion: i dont see how thats any of your business

spaceman: Keith, they were just curious.

red_lion: and that gives them the right to dig through my life?

red_lion: i thought dudebros were the only ones who didnt know the meaning of ‘no’

red_lion: but apparently

queen: We are sorry, Keith. We should have respected your privacy.

red_lion: yes, you should have

Sharpshooter69: arent you being a bit harsh?

red_lion: no

memethew: how did they hire you in the first place?

red_lion: as if i would answer that after you invaded my privacy

Sharpshooter69: what, are you hiding something mullet?

red_lion: oh fudge off

red_lion has left the chat.

gremlin: that went well

gremlin has left the chat.

katie > shiro

katie: did you know that keith is an emancipated minor?

shiro: No, I didn’t.

katie: and an orphan

shiro: Why wouldn’t he tell me something this important?!

katie: dont ask me

shiro: We’ll talk about this later, your classes will be starting soon.

katie: if you say so

OG > Holt in the meme of names

OG: k, spill

CLONE: wat

OG: i know u know

OG: so spill

CLONE: im not sure i should

CLONE: i stopped looking pretty quick

CLONE: found two (2) things and decided it was too much

OG: i wont tell anyone

OG: you know i could just find out myself

CLONE: youre too nice tho

OG: you right

OG: but seriously now im worried

CLONE: hes an orphan and an emancipated minor okay?

OG: oh

OG: does shiro know?

CLONE: not until i told him

OG: how did keith keep this from us for this long??

CLONE: idek

CLONE: but you get why i stopped looking

OG: yeah

CLONE: im done talking about this, i have class

OG: okay

CLONE has left the chat.

OG has left the chat.

Chapter Text

Sharpshooter69 > school? i dont know her

Sharpshooter69: remind me why schools a thing

sunshine: education

Sharpshooter69: but why do i have to go

spaceman: Because it costs your family a lot of money to send you there.

queen: It’s an elite school, Lance, you can’t afford to miss a day frivolously.

Sharpshooter69: but its haaarrd…

gremlin: because its an elite school keep up

Sharpshooter69: if its elite how is keith here

red_lion: class is already started and youre blowing up my notifs

red_lion: shut

Sharpshooter69: turn off your notifs?

red_lion: *middle finger emoji*

memethew: did you just type out

red_lion: yes

red_lion: now stfu

red_lion: class

Sharpshooter69: yeesh okay

sunshine > school? i dont know her

sunshine: we should have a study group!

gremlin: but where

memethew: yeah our house is chaos. Always.

queen: We have guests for the next two weeks.

Sharpshooter69: i have a family of 12 wed never get any work done

spaceman: My place is getting renovated, sorry.

Sharpshooter69: keith?

red_lion: not my place

Sharpshooter69: what, the fam said no?

red_lion: i live alone but go off i guess

sunshine: so my place it is!

Sharpshooter69: wait you live alone?

Sharpshooter69: keith?

red_lion has left the chat.

memethew: what just happened

gremlin: lance got nosy

spaceman: And after last time…

sunshine: ohh…

queen: I don’t think he will come to the study group.

spaceman: No, not likely.

sunshine: but for the rest of you, my place saturday?

Sharpshooter69: will there be cookies

sunshine: theres always cookies for you bro

Sharpshooter69: then of course

gremlin: i will be there, and so will matt

queen: I’ll bring drinks.

spaceman: Sure I’ll come.

PreMed > college ayyy

PreMed: Keith isn’t answering any of my texts.

PreMed: What happened?

CompSci: kids are curious, but not always smart

LingAnthro: It wasn’t just the kids, Matt.

AstroPhys: We made a mistake, Adam. Just give him some time to cool off.

PreMed: What did you do?

CompSci: we may or may not have stalked his workplace and interrogated his coworkers

PreMed: Why would you do that?!

PreMed: You know he likes his space!

CompSci: curiosity killed the cat

PreMed: I am surrounded by idiots.

LingAnthro: You know, that’s fair.

PreMed: I’m taking him out for ice cream so we can gossip about how stupid all of you are.

AstroPhys: Can you tell him we’re all sorry?

PreMed: That’s your job.

PreMed: I’ll talk to you later, I have a kid to cheer up.

PreMed has left the chat.

a.west created the chat Surrounded by Idiots

a.west added k.kogane to the chat.

a.west changed their name to LetMeSleep.

LetMeSleep: People are stupid.

k.kogane changed their name to LeaveMeAlone.

LeaveMeAlone: what do you want adam

LeaveMeAlone: why the chat

LetMeSleep: You weren’t answering my texts and I got worried.

LeaveMeAlone: so you made a chat?

LetMeSleep: So I talked to the others, found out what happened, and decided to treat you to ice cream so we can share our woes about how idiotic everyone is.

LetMeSleep: My treat.

LeaveMeAlone: sure.

LeaveMeAlone: theyre just so stupid adam!

LetMeSleep: Hence, the chat name.

LetMeSleep: But are you thinking of anything specifically?

LeaveMeAlone: when we get ice cream i’ll tell you

LetMeSleep: Saturday?

LeaveMeAlone: sure, see you saturday.

LetMeSleep has left the chat.

LeaveMeAlone has left the chat.

Chapter Text

sunshine > school? i dont know her

sunshine: okay guys, its officially been a week since keith started avoiding us

sunshine: we need to fix this

Sharpshooter69: why is he so touchy about mm anyway?

sunshine: how does he even work there?

gremlin: like keith said before he ghosted us on the subject

gremlin: “fudge off”

queen: If you recall, Lance, what finally pushed him away was you pursuing the inquiry about where he lives. Further inquisitiveness in the same vein surely will not be appreciated.

Sharpshooter: i got it, ixnay on the ushingpay

memethew: but how are we going to fix this?

spaceman: I’ll talk to Adam, since he’s the only person Keith’s responding to.

memethew: as soon as adam stops giving you the cold shoulder

queen: Good luck, Shiro. You’re going to need it.

spaceman has left the chat.

Takashi > Adam

Takashi: Everyone wants to apologise. Do you think Keith would be willing to listen?

Takashi: Adam?

Takashi: I know you’re reading these.

Takashi: Please, everyone’s getting worried.

Adam: It took them a week.

Takashi: We were giving him space!

Adam: Have you seen him cry?

Adam: Trick question, I know you haven’t.

Adam: But I have, now, thanks to your guys’ colossal screw up.

Takashi: We didn’t mean to, and we want to make it right.

Adam: You know what, shut up a minute.

Adam: I need to get this out.

Adam: You’ve known him, what, four years?

Adam: And all this time you thought leaving him alone when he’s like this is the best option???

Adam: You’re all idiots!

Adam: I’m sure you also didn’t know that he gets panic attacks.

Adam: Or that you were his first real friend.

Adam: Or that he’s trying his hardest to get along with you all as equals without making you think he needs help with anything.

Adam: No man’s an island, but he seems to think he needs to be.

Adam: Hell, with all you know, I’d be surprised if you knew his favorite flavor of ice cream.

Adam: He has problems with being called a liar and a troublemaker. When no one believed him when he tried to turn you away from Mechanics of Marmora, it hurt him. It hurt him more because he knew he was lying.

Adam: He admitted to me that he thought keeping his secrets was selfish, but he was afraid of how you would react if you found out some of these things.

Adam: I told him it wasn’t selfish, by the way.

Adam: I don’t think the kid has a selfish bone in his body.

Adam: It was the first of many misconceptions I had to argue with him about.

Adam: He’s been hurting all this time and you didn’t even know.

Adam: So, tell me, Shiro.

Adam: How exactly are you going to “make this right?”

Adam: Enlighten me, because I’m not about to let you hurt this kid more.

Takashi: I was going to start with an apology. Do you have any suggestions?

Adam: An apology is a good start, but even if he forgives you, you’re going to be making this up to him for a long time.

Takashi: I know.

Takashi: What should we do to get his attention?

Adam: Apologise, and ask to see him in person, at your place or on neutral ground, to apologise properly.

Takashi: Thank you, Adam.

Adam: Don’t get me wrong, I’m still angry at you, but Keith needs his friends back. He doesn’t deserve to suffer anymore.

Adam: Don’t mess this up, Shiro.

Takashi: I’ll do my best.

Takashi has left the chat.

unarmed > unarmed and dangerous

unarmed: I know you’re not really talking to me right now, but I wanted to say I’m sorry again. We’re all worried about you just dropping off the grid like this. Can we talk?

unarmed: We don’t have to do it at my place. We can meet somewhere else.

dangerous: the baskin robins by the library at lunch

dangerous: ill give you 20 minutes

unarmed: Thank you, Keith.

unarmed: See you soon.

Chapter Text

unarmed > unarmed and dangerous

unarmed: Thank you for talking to me.

dangerous: yeah yeah

unarmed: Are you up to talking to Lance and Hunk?

dangerous: sure, whatever

unarmed: I’ll send them your way.

t.shirogane > t.garrett

t.shirogane: You and Lance are up.
t.garrett: got it

GoldBro > Bros

GoldBro: i just got the go ahead from shiro

BlueBro: finally!

BlueBro added k.kogane to the chat.

BlueBro changed k.kogane’s name to RedBro.

BlueBro: we are so sorry keith!

BlueBro: we should have stopped when you made it clear you didnt want to talk about it

BlueBro: and text apologies suck so we plan to find you at school to apologise better

GoldBro: do you like cookies?

GoldBro: stupid question of course you like cookies

GoldBro: what kind of cookies do you like?

GoldBro: so i can bake you apology cookies

RedBro: give me a sec to answer and ill tell you

RedBro: have you heard of chipotle chocolate chip?

GoldBro: yes my gran has the best recipe!

GoldBro: i will bring you two batches

GoldBro: :)

RedBro: …

RedBro: :)

BlueBro: !!!

RedBro has removed themselves from the chat

GoldBro: do you think he’ll forgive us?

BlueBro: this isnt the kogane we know

GoldBro: what?!

BlueBro: i am convinced keith has never used an emoji in his life

GoldBro: lance…

BlueBro: i know i know

BlueBro: you know how i make jokes when im nervous!

GoldBro: yeah, but i dont think this is the right time

BlueBro: i guess

GoldBro: see you tomorrow

BlueBro: yeah, see ya

Chapter Text

Sharpshooter69 > school? i dont know her

Sharpshooter69: ALLURA MATT YOUR TURN

a.altea > m.holt

a.altea: Are you ready?

m.holt: born ready

a.altea added k.kogane to the chat.

k.kogane: before either of you say anything

k.kogane: i can tell you right off that i was mostly angry at you two for enabling everyone else

k.kogane: so if youre going to apologise im fine with it over text

a.altea: You deserve a real apology, Keith.

k.kogane: and id prefer it sans human interaction

m.holt: respect the mans wishes

m.holt: we are sorry for sticking our noses in places they dont belong

a.altea: Truly sorry, Keith.

k.kogane: i accept your apologies and all that

k.kogane: but can i talk to you for a sec matt?

a.altea: Shall I just go?

k.kogane: that works

a.altea: Goodbye then, Keith.

a.altea has removed themselves from the chat.

m.holt: so?

k.kogane: pidge was left for last

m.holt: yes?

k.kogane: on her own

m.holt: yes…

k.kogane: what did she do

k.kogane: scratch that, what does she know?

m.holt: and youre asking me because?

k.kogane: because youre her brother

k.kogane: she is terrible at keeping things to herself

k.kogane: so

m.holt: orphan and emancipated

m.holt: thats all she knows

m.holt: she stopped herself pretty quickly

m.holt: she didnt mean anything by it!

m.holt: but yeah, we thought she should go last so we could at least start fixing our mess first

m.holt: but thats usually something you tell friends, isnt it?

m.holt: theyre pretty big deals and we are here to support you

m.holt: we all care about you

m.holt: wait you know that right?

m.holt: keith?

m.holt: you there buddy?

PreMed > ayyy college

PreMed: Which of you is talking to Keith right now?

CompSci: i am but hes not responding

CompSci: is he okay??

PreMed: He is bundled up on my couch staring blankly at his phone.

PreMed: I don’t think he’s hearing me and he looks like he’s about to cry.

PreMed: What did you say?

CompSci: just that we all care about him and are here to support him!

AstroPhys: Is he alright, Adam?

PreMed: He just stood up, said he had some place to be, and left.

PreMed: Try talking to him again, Matt.

m.holt: > k.kogane

m.holt: did i say something wrong?

k.kogane: no just

k.kogane: i forgive you and all

k.kogane: get pidge to talk to me tomorrow

k.kogane: who did she tell?

m.holt: only me and shiro

k.kogane: okay

k.kogane: i’m going to go now

k.kogane: ill talk to you all later

m.holt: yeah

CompSci > ayyy college

CompSci: i think hes okay now

CompSci: but shiro i think hes going to want to talk to you about the thing when this all blows over

AstroPhys: Good to know.

PreMed: Thank you, Matt.

LingAnthro: I’m glad that’s settled.

Chapter Text

skinwalker > crypkids

skinwalker: do you want to meet up or do you just want to keep this here?

mothman: your brother talked to you?

skinwalker: yes

mothman: i dont think i can face you yet, to be perfectly honest

skinwalker: are you still angry?

mothman: im not actually sure what im feeling

skinwalker: does it change anything if i say im sorry?

mothman: eh

mothman: depends

skinwalker: on what?

mothman: on what you know and who you told

skinwalker: well, first i hacked marmoras servers

skinwalker: laughably easy, btw, you should get them to fix that

mothman: pidge

skinwalker: right

skinwalker: so i see all your registration is signed under your own name while all your coworkers are under their parents

skinwalker: i shouldnt have been doing it in the first place, but i should have stopped there

skinwalker: instead i looked up your public files

skinwalker: your record only listed that your parents were deceased and that you were emancipated at 16

skinwalker: the how and the why were under yet another layer of encryption but i backed down because i finally realized it was really personal

skinwalker: and youre really private in general

skinwalker: but i may have freaked out and told matt and shiro

skinwalker: but no one else i swear!

skinwalker: and yeah, thats it

mothman: okay

skinwalker: i understand if you dont want to forgive me

mothman: no i forgive you but i wont be forgetting any time soon

skinwalker: totally valid

skinwalker: so… coming back to the gc?

Chapter Text

red_lion > school? i dont know her

red_lion: disclaimer, if any of you pull a stunt like this again no one will find the body

memethew: you know, thats fair

spaceman: Glad to have you back, Keith.

sunshine: so you dont hate us, right?

red_lion: i could never hate you, hunk

Sharpshooter69: is everyone going to ignore the threat he greeted us with or

queen: Of course we’re not going to ignore it, we’re going to heed every word.

gremlin: hey keith, if you ever need help with that i know how to get away with murder

red_lion: ill keep that in mind for next time

Sharpshooter69: next time???

spaceman: Don’t worry about it, Lance.

memethew: so i cant be the only one whos curious

memethew: and tell me if im overstepping

memethew: but could we maybe meet some of your coworkers

sunshine: yeah they seemed pretty cool

red_lion: not axca because she hates strangers, not ezor and zethrid because everything will burn, but

red_lion added l.sa and n.mao to the chat.

queen: Lotor.

l.sa: Allura.

n.mao: keith why

red_lion: they asked

red_lion: and i wasnt about to sic the others on them

n.mao: you should have they deserve it

gremlin: ouch, but point

red_lion: so this is lotor and narti, everyone sound off

queen: You already know me.

l.sa: Indeed, I do.

spaceman: Takashi Shirogane, but call me Shiro.

Sharpshooter69: the name’s Lance~

sunshine: im hunk!

memethew: my name is mathematics and the gremlin is pidgeon

gremlin: matt and pidge, actually, ignore the idiot

l.sa: I am honored to meet you all.

red_lion: give em a few hours and you wont be

n.mao: and drop the act, everyone here knows you through keith and allura

n.mao: no ones fooled by your proper grammar

l.sa: I’m not trying to fool anyone, just being polite.

n.mao: -_-

l.sa: fine you win

Sharpshooter69: i just gotta

Sharpshooter69 changed l.sa’s name to L’Oreal.

Sharpshooter69 changed n.mao’s name to ICallBandsaw.

Sharpshooter69: ITS EVEN IN THE NAMES

Sharpshooter69: PIDGE WHY

Sharpshooter69: IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK CLOSE TO THE SAME

gremlin: same initials, same dif

ICallBandsaw: what is this hellhole youve dragged us into keith

red_lion: im not sorry

L’Oreal: you never are

L’Oreal: and i have to ask

L’Oreal: why my name?

Sharpshooter69: because your hair is fabulous

ICallBandsaw: but hes not worth it

gremlin: you, i like you

memethew: but shes mean

gremlin: exactly ive always wanted someone to roast people with

Sharpshooter69: like a roastbuddy

Sharpshooter69: burn bud?

spaceman: Please stop before you get hurt.

sunshine: HOW ABOUT WE PLAY 20 QUESTIONS TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

ICallBandsaw: why are you shouting

sunshine: diversion

sunshine: ill go first!

gremlin: we never agreed?

sunshine: lotor

ICallBandsaw: he ignored you like a pro

L’Oreal: yes?

sunshine: whats your favorite food

L’Oreal: that was milder than i was expecting

L’Oreal: and its birds nest soup, found in south america

Sharpshooter69: weird flex but okay

sunshine: your turn lotor!

L’Oreal: matt

memethew: thats my name

L’Oreal: what is the best blackmail you have on keith?

red_lion: If you answer that, Matthew, you will have 24 hours to say goodbye to your family.

Sharpshooter69: oh snap, he brought out the capitalization

red_lion: I can see you typing, Matthew.

red_lion: How do you think Mr Snuggles would look once Kosmo is through with him?

memethew: leave mr snuggles out of this!

red_lion: Watch yourself Matthew Holt.

red_lion: I am watching you.

red_lion: I know where you “live.”

memethew: why is live in quotes

memethew: keith?

gremlin: do you really want to know?

L’Oreal: so im not getting an answer?

memethew: no, i value my skin today

sunshine: only today?

memethew: no, especially today, the next season of my favorite show is out i need to watch it

red_lion: then you better watch your back

Sharpshooter69: hes back to lowercase your safe

red_lion: for now

spaceman: Back down, Keith.

red_lion: fine

ICallBandsaw: oh youre that shiro

spaceman: what?

red_lion: You know Kova could use new bones.

memethew: what does it mean

memethew: IM SHAKING WHAT DOES IT MEAN

red_lion: Narti knows.

queen: I come back online after grabbing a coffee and Keith’s threatening people.

gremlin: a day in the life

sunshine: his proper grammar is giving me chills

red_lion: I’ll give your kidneys chills.

sunshine: i didnt even do anything!

L’Oreal: how would you even do that?

red_lion: Knife.

L’Oreal: do you know where to make the incisions to reach the kidney?

red_lion: ...no

sunshine: thank you for de-escalating, lotor!

L’Oreal: oh that wasnt my intention

gremlin: what

L’Oreal: i just wanted him to do the job properly

spaceman: I can’t tell if you’re joking.

queen: He isn’t.

ICallBandsaw: hes serious

spaceman: oh lord

L’Oreal: im afraid i dont understand

L’Oreal: what wrong?

Sharpshooter69: theres another one

gremlin: welcome to the amorality club!

gremlin: where keith and i are currently the only members

L’Oreal: amorality?

sunshine: you dont understand morals

Sharpshooter69: youre chaotic neutral

L’Oreal: i suppose learning about morals would be a bit problematic with an absentee mother and an indifferent father

ICallBandsaw: especially when they kicked you out at 16 before they realized they should be grooming you as heir to their international corporate empire

sunshine: ...are you okay?

L’Oreal: never better

Sharpshooter69: :/

red_lion: you guys just met him back off

ICallBandsaw: dont you have a shift in five, keith?

red_lion: FUDGING HELL

red_lion has left the chat.

Chapter Text

Sharpshooter69 > school? i dont know her

Sharpshooter69: how many of you guys are going to prom?

gremlin: people? dancing? Ew

red_lion: pidge we should go cryptid hunting when everyones at prom

gremlin: the police will be too busy watching for drunk teens to care about our trespassing good plan

sunshine: pidge no

sunshine: also youre not graduating this isnt your prom?

gremlin: i never said no i said ew

spaceman: If anyone needs a ride, just call me.

red_lion: looks like its just lance tho

sunshine: untrue! Ill be there!

Sharpshooter69: thanks bro

sunshine: anything for you bro

Sharpshooter69: *gasp* bro

sunshine: love u bro

gremlin: ugh domestics

gremlin: wait hunk are you gonna ask shay??

sunshine: well yeah, shay and romelle and i were already going

gremlin: i meant together

sunshine: oh

sunshine: OH

sunshine: no

L’Oreal: well that de-escelated quickly

ICallBandsaw: and yeah were going to be there with the gang

L’Oreal: minus axca

ICallBandsaw: thats because axcas a wet blanket

Sharpshooter69: WAIT WE GET TO MEET THE OTHERS

queen: Ancients take me now.

spaceman: This won’t be good.

ICallBandsaw: keiths a coward for not introducing you earlier

red_lion: i just want to survive thanks

L’Oreal: arent you working a shift right now?

red_lion: its low, okay?

red_lion: and zeth isnt much of a conversationalist if you want to keep your face

ICallBandsaw: really? i never would have guessed

gremlin: i like your friends keith

red_lion: coworkers

ICallBandsaw: quiche im hurt

memethew: quiche?!

red_lion: you know what you did, cat

queen: How long have you been mere, Matt?

L’Oreal: i still think you overreacted

memethew: shh its getting good

red_lion: shut up lotion

Sharpshooter69: LOTION

L’Oreal: you rang?

gremlin: hunk i need popcorn stat

gremlin: and do tell what have you done to be demoted?

ICallBandsaw: well…

L’Oreal: we may or may not have dumped two weeks of shifts on him all at once

ICallBandsaw: it was lotors idea

red_lion: the point of those shifts i owed you was null and void long before that, too!

L’Oreal: it wasnt us

ICallBandsaw: your friends stuck their noses in, not our fault

red_lion: two

red_lion: WEEKS

red_lion: i have school too!

red_lion: i havent slept for 72 hours

spaceman: Keith

red_lion: im running on red bull coffee and spite

gremlin: we made a pact! no more red bull coffee!

gremlin: welp, looks like i need to hold up my end of the deal

memethew: PIDGE NO

Sharpshooter69: how are you alive

red_lion: i told you

red_lion: spite

sunshine: how are you even coherent??

red_lion: i hardly sleep anyway, im used to low sleep

sunshine: !!! theres a difference between low sleep and no sleep!!!!!

L’Oreal: im impressed actually

ICallBandsaw: you would be

L’Oreal: excuse me?

Sharpshooter69: HOW ARE YOU TOP OF CLASS IF YOU DONT SLEEP

red_lion: spite

red_lion: and studying my butt off but mostly spite

red_lion: theres a customer gtg

red_lion has left the chat.

queen: Ah, the stress of the grad slide… glad I’m out of that mess.

Chapter Text

gremlin > school? i dont know her

gremlin: has anyone seen keith today? he wasnt in bio

Sharpshooter69: or gym

sunshine: or advmech!

Sharpshooter69: keiths in advanced mechanics?!

gremlin: he works at mechanics of marmora, lance

memethew: and im pretty sure he built his own bike

sunshine: thats beside the point guys!

sunshine: no ones seen keith all day!

sunshine: remember our last convo?!

Sharpshooter69: fudge

gremlin: wait why hasnt shiro responded?

queen: Because we’re at his dorm taking care of Keith.

memethew: what happened?

L’Oreal: he overworked himself

L’Oreal: narti and i are heading over to pick up his next shift now

Sharpshooter69: and no one told us?

red_lion: behold, i am alive, so fudge off

red_lion: the notifs from this chat are hurting my eyes

gremlin: notifications are sounds keith

spaceman: Go back to sleep, otouto.

red_lion: dont wanna

spaceman: And I don’t want to have to take you to the hospital.

red_lion: hng

red_lion lion has left the chat.

memethew: what was that

Sharpshooter69: is he really okay?

sunshine: he will be, right?

spaceman: Of course he will.

spaceman has left the chat.

gremlin: i have a bad feeling

memethew: no kidding

unarmed > unarmed and dangerous

unarmed: Keith, get back to bed.

dangerous: come on, i slept six hours! im fine now!

unarmed: Six isn’t enough, and you know it.

unarmed: Where are you right now?

dangerous: getting my bike

unarmed: You are in no condition to drive.

unarmed: And your bike is at Marmora.

dangerous: point?

unarmed: ...are you walking to Marmora?

dangerous: no of course not why would you think that

unarmed: Keith, I swear to God.

dangerous: youre not my dad

dangerous: im fine. im alive.

unarmed: Alive is a very low bar.

unarmed: I was tempted to take you to the hospital for a while back there.

dangerous: i dont have that kind of insurance

unarmed: What?

dangerous: im not repeating myself

unarmed: You can afford to go to the Garrison but don’t have medical insurance?

dangerous: i have an academic scholarship, if you must know

dangerous: i worked hard to get where i am, im not a freeloader

unarmed: I never said you were.

unarmed: But seriously, you’re not okay to drive. I’m picking you up.

dangerous: fine

dangerous has left the chat.