Chapter 1: Part 1
The first time Jungkook found Jimin with one of his hyungs in a compromising position, his brain couldn't even begin to process it.
He had walked into the Practice room late that night having forgotten his phone charger plugged into the wall when he heard some worrying sounds that made him concerned and frantic. He could barely make out some grunting and a high pitched whine that suspiciously sounded like Jimin-Hyung, and his young, overactive imagination worried if when Jimin and Namjoon decided to stay late they ran into some sort of intruder and were in trouble. He opened the door slowly, careful not to make a sound when his eyes got the most shocking sight he'd ever seen in his life.
The first thing he noticed was Namjoon's broad, tanned back as he leaned against the wall with one hand, the other holding onto Jimin's slightly smaller frame as he trapped him between the mirrored surface and his body. He saw the reflection of the scene before he realized how low Namjoon's pants really were on his waist, how Namjoon's hand ruched up Jimin's tank top to expose the sweaty abs of his stomach, the way both of his Hyung's eyes were closed in the purest form of bliss Jungkook had ever seen. In a sick way, Jungkook could only describe the look on Jimin's face as angelic; the slight sweat on his brow slicking back his dark hair, his cheeks flushed red down to his neck, his lips wet and bruised and forming the most beautiful o he'd ever seen while he was being railed. He watched as Namjoon buried his face into the crook of his neck, pounding relentlessly even further into him. And it was like it took Jungkook a moment to process the reason they were rocking back and forth so frantically was that Namjoon literally had himself balls deep in Jimin. Jungkook's own mouth hung open comically.
They were having sex. Namjoon and Jimin, two of his hyungs, two of the members of their group... They were having sex, in the dance room no less, and he just walked in on them.
Jungkook didn't know how long he was staring before Jimin finally opened his eyes, glazed over pupils dilating in shock at being discovered as he met Jungkook's gaze through the reflection in the mirror. And it was like those eyes had him frozen, trapped in this weird place between reality and fiction, Jimin looking straight at Jungkook as Namjoon fucked into him, blissfully unaware at the tension between the two younger members. But Jimin only got louder, moaning and whining and crying out in pleasure as he stared into Jungkook's soul, putting on a show for the young teen who would blush just at the mere discussion of porn between him and his hyungs.
He didn't let go of Jungkook until he came, and the youngest watched as Jimin threw his head back against Namjoon's shoulder and closed his eyes in bliss, his cum dirtying the mirror and floor and Jungkook's thoughts. But Jungkook still couldn't move when Jimin continued to let Namjoon fuck him past his limits for his own release. He just stared, dumbfounded and impossibly turned on, and Jimin opened his eyes once more, tears shedding in overstimulation. And if he thought Jimin looked angelic before, he was downright a demon now, those full, plump lips curling into a smirk as he came back to his senses and looked upon his ruined innocence.
Jungkook turned around and ran as fast as he could, not even bothering to remember why he even went there in the first place until his phone was dead an hour later.
Jimin didn't bring it up to Namjoon until they both were both dressed properly and laying back against the newly cleaned mirror. Jimin's eyes were focused intently on the door Jungkook left slightly ajar, and he could tell he was worrying Namjoon by how silent he was after fucking, the older preferring to have some sort of intellectual conversation after getting some.
“What's wrong, Jiminie?'
Jimin shook his head, a breathy chuckle escaping as he looked over at Namjoon with deceiving smile, “Jungkook-ah saw us, hyung.”
Namjoon's reaction at being caught was almost as good as when Jungkook found them. Almost.
“Shit, do you think I should talk to him? Fuck- I'll talk to him, don't worry, I'll worry about it, you just- just, I'll explain it to him.”
Jimin couldn't help but laugh, his eyes crinkling as he reached over to caress Namjoon's face and pinch his cheek, “You're so cute, Hyung, worrying over me. It's okay, really. I don't think Jungkook is going to be telling anyone about it any time soon.”
Namjoon got this look of disbelief, almost comical, when Jimin decided not to tease him anymore, “I think he liked it, honestly. He's only a few years younger, he probably gets frustrated too. Or well, if his face was anything to go by.”
At that Namjoon coughed, obviously weary and embarrassed, “Still, I should- I dunno, I don't want him to get the wrong idea.”
Jimin raised an eyebrow, “Oh? And what wrong idea would that be? Because I think it's pretty obvious what you and I get up to when you ask for help with dance moves now.”
Namjoon sighed, obviously frustrated at his logic, “Still, he's the youngest, and I don't want him having a bad impression of you.”
Jimin conceded, looking back down at his own lap, biting his lip in worry. That was one thing he did worry about, that Jungkook would somehow look at him differently, with less respect or dignity.
But also, at the same time... part of him liked the way Jungkook's eyes had darkened in obvious lust, the way he made their perfect maknae flustered and bothered.
And Jimin told himself what he really liked was the control.
“Jimin-ah and I aren't together, Jungkook-ah.”
Jungkook looked up from his game, eyes widening at the sound of his leader's voice admitting that Jungkook did, in fact, see them together. He should have expected Namjoon would be the one to bring it up, not wanting to leave anything that could potentially cause problems in the future unaddressed. He did his best to look his Hyung in the eyes, but he couldn't stop the pink from spreading to his cheeks.
“Jimin and I- well, you know we can't date or anything. So it just kinda started because- well, we just kinda figured it would be better than getting into any relationships that wouldn't end well.”
Jungkook nodded quickly, not being able to look at Namjoon any longer, and tucked his hair behind his ear, “I get it, I do... I mean, I don't get it, but I understand. I didn't mean to interrupt you or anything... I just, I mean-”
Jungkook could feel his entire body heat up, remembering how Jimin was bent over, those dark eyes meeting with his, just...
Just taking it, as if he was born for it.
And Jungkook blurt it out, not realizing how bad it might sound, "Jimin-ssi actually lets you do that to him? Like he's a- a girl or?”
Namjoon shook his head fast at that, not even hesitating as he sat down in the computer chair beside him. "No no no no, it's not like that. I don't like to pretend or imagine or- some people are into that, but I don't want you to think that I'm degrading Jimin or doing anything we haven't talked about. I mean if I was into hyper-feminization I'm sure Jimin would be fine with it, but I don't want you to think any less of Jimin just because he lets me- well because we both like to do that.”
Jungkook tried to keep up, nodding his head and turning his body to face his hyung. “So, you both- you both like guys?”
Namjoon hesitated, but nodded eventually, “I like guys and girls, anyone who is pretty or handsome, really.”
And well, Jungkook couldn't argue with that, Jimin was very pretty... “I understand that.”
Namjoon smiled, patting him on the shoulder, “Jimin is just Jimin, and what he and I do, we keep separate from work and our friendship. And we aren't together or anything. I'm sure in a year or two you'll understand it better.”
Jungkook pouted at that, “I'm not that much younger than you both, you know. I know what- what that all means.”
Namjoon looked as if he didn't believe him, but didn't say anything either. “I know, Kookie. I guess I just mean when you're more experienced, you'll eventually figure out a way to let off steam too. It's natural.”
God, sometimes Namjoon really was like a father or older brother, trying to give him a talk about sex and all.
Jimin wouldn't lie, part of him was worried that Jungkook would avoid him or treat him differently after the 'incident', but it turned out he had nothing to be afraid of. Jungkook was still a little shit, eyes mischievous and gleaming and taunting as he let out rude quips and borderline insults. He figured the only difference was that Jungkook's gaze may linger a bit too long than considered appropriate, his mind spacing out whenever he got too close or teased too much. But Jimin was glad it seemed like nothing had changed in their relationship.
Jungkook was the youngest, but he was mature for his age. And as their precious Maknae closed his eyes, falling asleep on the couch and looking more innocent than ever, Jimin couldn't help but smile.
Part of him wished things could always stay this simple.
“Namjoon told me, you know.”
Jimin looked up from his phone. Hoseok was staring at him from across the room, sitting almost too casually in the computer chair with his legs spread wide. Jimin was laid on his side against his own bed, already showered and in PJs after a long day of rehearsal. His body ached and he was already half asleep, but he raised his head anyway and gave Hoseok his attention.
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Which was true. It had been a couple of months since the incident involving Jungkook, and from then on Jimin and Namjoon had decided to be more careful, leaving their rendezvouses to locked bedrooms and the ever occasional time in Namjoon's studio. So he really couldn't have known what Hoseok was talking about.
But the normally-ball-of-sunshine and energy had this devious smirk, one that would be quite intimidating if Jimin didn't know Hoseok. His hyung leaned forward, eyes giving all of Jimin's body a once over before taking his bottom lip and dragging it between his teeth. And that was weird, he knew Hoseok and the rest of them played around, but the look in his eyes just then was anything but playful. Hoseok literally just sized him up, blatantly checking him out like he was some sort of meat. And then Jimin got it, what exactly Hoseok was getting at.
Jimin blinked a few times, trying to get his composure back at being so blatantly called out and objectified for his actions. He sat up, legs dangling off the bed now that he was facing Hoseok and proudly held his head up high. He didn't have to explain himself to Hoseok of all people, and if he was going to be some sort of fuck boy judging him for his sexual exploits then so be it.
It seemed like Hoseok caught on, instantly chuckling and backtracking to calm the younger down as he held his hands up in defense, "I'm not judging you, really Jiminie-ah. I had noticed a hickey on your chest during dance practice and I went and told RapMon because if you had a girlfriend or boyfriend then I figured our leader should know and talk to you before any of the staff caught you. Imagine my surprise when he got all flustered and had to tell me that you two were fucking to relieve stress."
And that did get Jimin to relax and smile as he shook his head, imagining Namjoon's flustered way of ranting too much about nothing when he got shy.
“How did that get started anyway?”
Jimin shrugged, relaxing, "Don't really know, if I'm honest. One minute Namjoon was talking about how he had a crush on- well, he liked someone and he would get all bothered about it when we took a break from showing him some dance steps. And then the next he was fucking me on the floor."
Hoseok's smile was so wide he could see his dimples peaking through, “Hot.”
Jimin threw his head back in laughter, “Shut up.”
The conversation stilled for a moment, and they let the room lull back into a comfortable silence before Jimin looked up and eyed Hoseok curiously. "So... you just wanted to tease me about it?"
Jimin watched as Hoseok stood and made his way over to him, walking with confidence in his stride that was so Hoseok but also completely domineering it made Jimin fist the sheets underneath him. His hyung leaned over him, mouth and face now a mere centimeters away, and Jimin had to lean back to look at him properly.
He'd seen that gaze before, from every 'straight' boy in his dance class, from every idol trainee who wanted to see just how far they could push their luck before Jimin always sauntered away, just out of reach.
“I just wanted to say I get really worked up too, ya know.”
And Jimin couldn't help the giggle that came out of his mouth.
But apparently, Hoseok didn't like that reaction, because now he was grabbing Jimin roughly by the chin and forcing him to look back Hoseok's piercing eyes.
“I want in on it.” Hoseok's timbre was lower than normal, demanding and straight to the point. “wanna see how pretty your face really is while you cum.”
Jimin almost brought up Jungkook just to piss him off, that the youngest of their group already knew what he looked like while coming, had even stared straight at him while doing so. But the other side of him wondered why he was even thinking of that incident when he had Hoseok right in front of him, undressing him with his eyes and leaving him barren at the soul.
It was obvious Hoseok wanted a power dynamic, one that could fulfill the cute and pretty girl he was missing in his life. Jimin could have said no, he supposed, as he did to all those other boys who wanted to emasculate him.
But this was Hoseok, and he knew that he could keep the bedroom and their work separate. That playing a part didn't mean he would actually view Jimin like he was anything less. It seemed kind of fun, having someone a bit more aggressive than Namjoon. Not only that, but Hoseok wasn't moving an inch while he gave Jimin time to decide, leaving a clear opening to back out despite his big words. And that choice, that was something Jimin really appreciated.
He figured that was why he started unbuttoning his over-sized top, letting Hoseok get another glance at that hickey he spotted earlier which started it all as it fell off his pale shoulders. He looked up at him behind his pretty eyelashes, fluttering them just enough to act innocent while also not being too much, and reveled in the way it made Hoseok groan. “So how do you want me, then, Hyung?”
Hoseok manhandled him so well, just the right amount of roughness, maneuvering his smaller body to lay back against the pillows and bed sheets while pinning his wrists above his head with one hand.
“Call me Oppa.”
Jimin almost laughed, but the thought completely evaporated from his mind as Hoseok pushed his legs open and slotted their hips together. He made sure to make his voice just a little bit higher, to moan in just the right way as if he was Hoseok's personal whore.
Jungkook wasn't stupid. He noticed the change right away in Hoseok and Jimin, the way Hoseok would whisper in his ear when he thought no one was looking and make Jimin so flustered he'd give a halfhearted slap to his chest. But the problem was, he didn't have any proof, let alone any say if it really was true. Namjoon was a lot more subtle, but after their discussion, Jungkook had begun to notice it too, the way Jimin would let his hand linger just a bit too long on his thigh. It wasn't like he meant for his over imaginative brain to register these calling cues, but it was like after knowing his Hyungs- did stuff together, it was like it made everything else make so much more sense.
Namjoon always did better in practice after him and Jimin had sex. Jimin always went a bit too hard on the makeup on days he was planning on hooking up with Hoseok. Hoseok was even more annoyingly cheerful after he got some.
Jungkook wondered if he was the only one who noticed, or if he was just going crazy.
And he tried his best not to think about it, he really did.
But when Jimin was beside him, laughing so hard at some bad impression or goofy dance he would practically fall into his lap... Or when Jimin talked to him in such a gentle voice as he reached over to push Kookie's hair behind his ear... Or when Jimin would touch his neck with those small hands, or the way his face relaxed as he taught Tae and Jin choreography steps, or the small 'o' his mouth made when he sang softly to himself.
He promised himself he wouldn't think like that, to treat Jimin like he always had. He promised himself he wouldn't think about what Jimin might be like with his Hyungs.
But it was so damn hard whenever he saw Jimin and his brain could only register just how beautiful he looked.
Jimin and Taehyung were smashed, and that was the only way to put it.
All of them were currently at some fancy hotel in America, the performance from a few hours ago far from their thoughts, and Tae and Jimin were the first to claim a room together. When they found the bottle of wine tucked behind the mini snack bar, well... they really couldn't help themselves.
They both stumbled to bed, falling down dramatically and giggling as their faces mushed into the crisp white sheets. Jimin turned his face just enough to look at his best friend, and Taehyung responded in kind, his melanin kissed skin flushed red from the alcohol and laughter. It was moments like this one that reminded Jimin why he did this, why he was so glad to work hard and be a part of this group.
“Jiminie, your face looks so squishy.”
“Shut it,” but there was no malice in Jimin's voice, instead only the love and affection he held for his best friend. He pulled himself up dramatically, grabbing the duvet and covering both him and his friend.
“It's too hot for that, 'min.”
“Hush, it's not hot at all in here.”
Taehyung whined as he moved onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with a small pout on his lips. Jimin was content for a moment to just look at his attractive friend's profile, studying as the younger disassociated from the world. Sometimes Tae's brain was an enigma, not just to him, but to everyone. But over the years Jimin learned to accept the quiet lulls when Taehyung thought about nothing just as much as the times he would be loud and boisterous.
If Jimin were to pick a word that described Taehyung, it would probably be dynamic.
“You're hot,” Jimin blurted out, never having a filter as it is, the alcohol coursing through his veins just an excuse at this point.
Taehyung looked over at him, a sweet smile on his face before pulling the ugliest one he could, tongue sticking out and fake double chins on full display.
They both erupted into a fit of giggles, and Jimin tucked his body into Taehyung's side as he hit him on the chest one, two, three times.
They relaxed after a moment, Jimin clinging onto Taehyung like a koala, legs wrapped around his own and an arm across his torso. Jimin was committed to cherishing moments like this, after a concert, or hard day, or tv performance. Days like this reminded him why he was alive.
“Do you think we'll always stay like this, Tae Tae?”
Taehyung didn't answer; instead, he allowed the silence between them to answer for him. And Jimin understood.
"One day," Jimin finally spoke, "I know one day, it'll all end. But I hope we all can stay the same. Our feelings towards one another."
"If we all stayed the same," Taehyung turned his head to look at Jimin, his eyes almost cross-eyed from how close they were, "We would never grow."
Of course, Taehyung was right. He'd always say something that made sense, even when no one else got it.
Taehyung smiled softly, “We will all change, and our feelings will change. But the key is for all of us to grow and change together. That's something I would like. For us to be happy and healthy, with no ill feelings.”
Jimin nodded, before leaning over to turn off the lamp beside them.
“You're a lot smarter than what people think, Tae.” Jimin cuddled in closer, “Beauty and brains. You really are the whole package, Taehyungie.”
Taehyung chuckled softly, more to himself than anything else, staring up at the ceiling again. “Beauty and brains, huh?”
The words were whispered, almost like Jimin wasn't even there anymore. And he knew Taehyung was probably in his own world again, thinking of something else. Someone else. Thinking of home.
“Yep.” Jimin sat up just enough to hold himself up as he looked down at Taehyung, “The most beautiful, most intelligent dongsaeng I know.”
At that, Tae laughed, looking to the side to hide his blush, “Keep saying that and you'll make Jungkook-ah jealous, you know.”
Jimin smiled, thinking of their youngest member. He'd certainly grown these last few years, in almost every sense of the word. Talent, maturity... physically. Jimin could honestly say he cared and loved him, that he was a staple in their group, that he couldn't imagine what Bangtan would be without him. Even if he did act like a little shit most of the time, Jimin could only find it endearing. The way he would tease him, but how he would somehow care for Jimin even though he was the younger one...
He was really glad things weren't awkward between them after seeing him that day in the practice room. He could see it in the way Jungkook looked at him sometimes, that he thought about it every now and then. But of how unabashed he was to stare at him like that, Jimin couldn't really blame him. It's hard to get out the picture of two of your hyungs so... exposed. And Jimin would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy teasing his dongsaeng occasionally when he asked for kisses or played with his hair. Jungkook's red blush was always worth it, worth the attention he got whenever Jungkook stared at him in awe every now and then. Jungkook was a kind soul; not quite innocent, but certainly inexperienced. Jimin couldn't believe he was lucky enough to watch him mature and grow. From a beautiful kid to...
Well, a confident, attractive man, inside and out.
“Kookie knows I think he's incredible. But we all know you're the prettiest of us all. I think even Jungkook would agree with me.”
Taehyung just chuckled, shaking his head and giving a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Somehow, I don't think he would agree with you.”
Jimin raised an eyebrow, but Tae just shrugged, like what he was about to say was common knowledge, “He's been acting more flustered around you, ya know. Like a little puppy, or a kitten who doesn't wanna admit they like their owner.”
Jimin smiled at the thought of Jungkook as a lost puppy over him. “He's got a little crush, how cute.”
It was Tae's turn to raise an eyebrow now, “I think it's more than just a crush, hyung.”
Jimin sighed, sitting up completely this time and letting his hands pool with the duvet in his lap. He looked down at his fingertips, messing with his hands nervously.
He guessed now was a time better than ever, to let Taehyung know what he'd been getting up to with their fellow bandmates. He knew Tae would never judge him for it, but it was still a bit nerve-wracking to admit you've been a bit of a slut.
“Jungkook may or may not have seen me... well, Jungkook walked in on me having sex months ago. So I think he's been overthinking it sometimes.”
Taehyung completely sobered up at that, eyes bulging out it was almost comical. “Since when did you have time to get laid?”
Jimin bit his lip, pushing his hair off of his forehead. "Well... Namjoon and I have been having sex for a while now, a friends with benefits thing. You know how it is, not being able to be in relationships. Jungkook caught us in the practice room. He might also have figured out I sleep with Hoseok too, I'm not sure."
Taehyung looked so pale at that revelation, Jimin was worried he might need to call a doctor. He let his best friend sit up straight to face him. Taehyung didn't look judgmental, merely shocked, and Jimin understood that might be a lot to take in.
Suddenly, Tae pulled a face, scrunching his nose, “You guys had sex against a mirror, didn't you?”
Jimin laughed, glad the tension was broken, “Jungkook was watching me through the mirror, and he may have seen my orgasm face, so I'm not surprised he may get random cringe attacks or flustered when he looks at me and thinks about it. That's sort of a hard thing to get over, seeing your best friend taking it.”
Taehyung sputtered out a laugh, his whole body shaking, “Fucking hell, Jiminie, you let him stare at you while you came on Namjoon's dick? God, that would have been my spank bank material for the next three months!”
Jimin's laughter knew no bounds at this point, but his mind was racing at those words. Jungkook; his sweet, kind dongsaeng, hot and flustered and masturbating and pretending it was him? God, that sounded so hot. So hot.
Jimin thought all of his bandmates were attractive, that was nothing new. But the idea Jimin could have so much of an effect on Jungkook... There was a sense of pride in that.
Then again, many boys had fallen prey to Jimin's good looks in the past. Even before Namjoon and Hoseok. No man was immune to a pretty face. It didn't matter who it was, really.
“Jungkook's young and vital, it's only natural if he did. I don't hold it against him.”
Jimin was just another body.
Taehyung's serious tone pulled him out of his self-deprecating thoughts, and his younger friend wrapped an arm around his side before nuzzling into his neck.
Jimin let Taehyung's presence calm him down, the serene moment washing away the negative thoughts about himself from earlier. Jimin liked sex. And even though he knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, that everyone fucked around every now and then, it still was hard to get out of that old and tired way of thinking. That if he was promiscuous and gay, somehow he was tainted or dirty. He felt sorry for the females who were judged critically for being sexual beings as well, almost feeling like kindred spirits with them.
Jimin could be as sexual or prudent as he wanted, and it wasn't anybody's business but his own. And he was glad he had good friends supporting him.
Jimin asked with genuine curiosity, realizing that Taehyung never really talked much about his personal life outside of Bangtan, “Did you ever have a girlfriend or boyfriend, before getting signed on?”
He could feel Tae still for just a second, humming thoughtfully in his low, smooth timbre, his voice as if it was always singing, “I had a boyfriend. Minwoo. He was a year older than me.”
Jimin didn't know why that surprised him more than it should. All of them had lives before Bangtan, and Taehyung was no exception. But Jimin felt eager to learn more, to know about his best friend and his previous relationships. “Why did you never bring it up?”
Tae just buried his face deeper in Jimin's shoulder, “Well, it's not like a relationship really matters anymore when you're no longer in one.”
Jimin nodded, giving a small grunt in understanding, and Taehyung sighed as he laid back down on his back in bed. “I guess it's just I'm surprised I never knew about it. You always seemed... well, I didn't know you were so private.”
"As you said, we can't really have relationships. And I don't think Mr. Bang would appreciate it if we suddenly decided to openly talk about our sexuality."
Jimin supposed that was fair enough. He sighed, looking down on his friend, and moved a hair away from his face gently. Taehyung was such a beautiful soul, he deserved the world.
“Do you...” Jimin hesitated, wondering if maybe he was overstepping a boundary, but also too drunk to care. He supposed if Tae was uncomfortable he would say so. And Jimin wanted to learn more, to see things through Tae's perspective.
“Do you ever miss him?”
Taehyung paused, allowing himself time to really think and give an honest answer. He nodded slowly, still staring at the ceiling. “Yes- Well, I'm not quite sure. I think I miss the idea of him more than actually missing him, ya know?”
“What was he like?”
That question got him one of the sweetest looks he'd ever seen on Tae, reminiscing about his old friend, "He was genuine. Kind. He would show me off to everyone, called me his pretty boy. He really wasn't afraid of what people thought. Had a small tummy and comfy thighs he'd let me lay my head on and would play with my hair until I fell asleep. He wasn't an 'idol' face or anything like that. But whenever he would call me beautiful, I wanted to always tell him I thought he was the truly gorgeous one. I think he's found himself another pretty boy, one that won't leave him. I'm really happy for him."
Jimin was almost in awe at the way Taehyung spoke, “You must have really loved him.”
Taehyung shrugged, his smile faltering, “I loved him in the way any young person loves their first crush. Enough to be grateful, but not enough to stay. I think what I loved the most was the simplicity. The idea of just being called beautiful by someone and having it be enough.”
Jimin's fingers absentmindedly played with the hem of Tae's button up pajamas, right where the collar met his exposed sternum. A thought danced around in his head, and he wondered if it was just the alcohol still left in him, or if Jimin really was some kind of glutton for pleasure and being used.
“So you got a praise kink, Taehyungie?”
Taehyung's face grew red, and he averted his eyes from Jimin with a pout. “I tell you something personal and you make fun of me.”
But Jimin didn't let it derail his new mission. “I'm not making fun of you, promise. I just...”
Jimin worried his lower lip between his teeth, watching as his friend's breathing grew labored with every subtle stroke against his bare neck. “I just was wondering if you wanted to explore that, is all.”
Jimin didn't wait for Taehyung to answer before he was moving, sitting on top of Taehyung, trapping him between his legs as he sat on top. Taehyung was looking at him with hooded eyes, his hands instinctively going to rest on the bare meat of his thighs, bracing himself almost for when Jimin's hands slowly crept higher up the hem of his shirt.
"I like to help," Jimin shrugged, trying to give off an air of nonchalance to his seduction. "And you're my best friend. And you are pretty, and a good boy. Just figured, if your head ever gets too full and you need a distraction-"
He froze, trying not to feel stupid as he rested his hands on Taehyung's stomach. He almost didn't dare to look up, but he had to know if he messed something up.
He was relieved when he was greeted with a hint of lust in those expressive eyes.
“I don't wanna fuck up our friendship.”
Jimin grinned, “You won't. Promise. Just as long as you can share me with the others.”
There wasn't any more talking that night, not from the moment Taehyung grabbed Jimin by the back of the neck and pulled him down for a fierce kiss.
It wasn't like it was a personal mission of Jimin's to sleep with every member of his band. It really wasn't. It was just nice; nice to feel desired, and nice to feel wanted. Namjoon, Hoseok, and Taehyung were all his friends, best friends. All six of them were. Jimin loved every single one of them in their own special way, and if they all could find solace in Jimin's body, then who was he to deny them?
He refused to feel like he was less than, refused to let the fear of people discovering their well-kept secret stop him from doing as he pleased. Sex wasn't something he wanted to ever feel ashamed of. And the three never complained, never held onto him too tightly. In fact, there wasn't necessarily a system, but it was like the other three knew when it was okay and when it wasn't to approach Jimin separately about it. Because the truth was, and Jimin knew it, whenever he would lay with them it was never about feelings. Attraction? Yes. Stress Relief? Absolutely. An escape from reality? Most likely. Friendship and comradery? To Jimin at least, yes.
But it was never about love. It was never about Jimin being in love with them. It was never about Namjoon or Hoseok or Taehyung finding a romantic interest in him. He was a warm body, a warm vessel for them to drown their own longings and hopes and desires in. And after awhile Jimin almost found it addicting, as if he craved for when Taehyung would melt underneath his praises, when Hoseok would completely dominate him, and the moments when Namjoon would slip up and let Jimin past his defensive shell. It felt nice, to have some sort of purpose, to have that sort of control over another person. For a moment, Jimin could feel like he was special, could mold himself into his friends' idea of perfection if just for a moment. That even though Jimin may not be exactly what they wanted , Jimin could be whatever they needed.
It almost made the empty, hollow feeling Jimin was left with afterward worth it.
Chapter 2: Part 2
The Misunderstanding. The Crusade. The Lovers.
Please Enjoy, and a gentle reminder that I said this fic deals with some pretty have topics. Comments and kudos always appreciated. Love Yourself. Xxx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The youngest turned around in his computer chair and took off his headphones, the smile gracing his face almost instinctual whenever he heard Jimin call his name at this point.
It was quiet this evening, nearly serene; a rare moment where the members were able to choose what they worked on. Of course, Namjoon had proclaimed he would be in his studio all day so not to disturb him. It went without saying Yoongi was the same, staying in his own area working on melodies. J-Hope was in the Dance studio with Jin, at Jin's own request. Taehyung was supposed to be working on recording. And Jungkook himself was in his small studio, his Golden Closet, listening to his own work. Jimin had said he was going to work on writing some lyrics for a while before joining Hoseok and Jin so Jungkook would be lying if he said he wasn't pleasantly surprised at the interruption.
That earned him one of Jimin's beautiful laughs, and Jungkook couldn't help but feel happy.
Jungkook loved moments like this when they could just relax, when the cameras were off and Jungkook could be as open as he wanted. Without fear of judgment, without people watching his every move. It amazed him how just a simple sound like Jimin's laughter could make him feel at ease.
“What is it you wanted?”
Jimin shrugged, making his way over to Jungkook and sitting down in the spare swivel chair beside him, "Just wanted to visit you. I'm taking a break before I meet up with Hobi and Jin." He looked hesitant for a moment, "I mean, is that alright? I hope I'm not interrupting you."
The statement made Jungkook's chest feel light and his stomach weak. Jimin always had a way of making him feel important, and the idea Jimin wanted to spend his break with him made the youngest feel happier that it should. He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, “It's okay, I need to take a break anyway, I've been editing for hours.”
“Oh?” Jimin raised an eyebrow, a sweet smile on his face as he leaned over, “What are you working on?”
“Well...” Jungkook grinned, sheepish, “It's just a simple melody and beat right now, but I'm hoping it'll do some lyrics I have in mind justice.”
“Can I listen?”
Jungkook could feel himself blush, embarrassed at the thought of Jimin hearing his raw attempts at producing. He still felt so green about the whole thing, knowing he wasn't as good as Namjoon or Yoongi. “Uh...” He looked away nervously, “It's not very good.”
Jimin just smiled, rolling his chair forward so that he was close enough to sit facing his dongsaeng with their legs fit between each other, and Jungkook forgot how to breathe for a moment.
"Nonsense." He spoke gently, in that special tone of voice that seemed to be reserved just for him. That sweet, soft symphonic tone that never failed to make Jungkook weak, never failed to make him cave to about any whim and desire Jimin came up with. His hyung reached out, leaning forward to push back some of Jungkook's bangs, eyes sparkling as he tilted his head to make sure Jungkook met his eyes.
Jungkook was sure one day he'd drown in them.
“You're so talented, Jungkook-ah, really. You've just started to write solo music, and I'm sure whatever you've come up with is better than my first attempt. Lemme listen, please?”
Jungkook didn't say anything as he handed over the headset and pressed play.
Jungkook nervously watched for any signs of a reaction, feeling incredibly exposed as his hyung listened. He almost felt like he was baring a part of his soul, opening up and letting Jimin in to take notes and judge. But the older just listened, relaxed with his eyes closed and his small, delicate hands barely covering the large ear cups as he leaned back into his chair. Jimin looked positively content at the moment, and Jungkook wondered if these kinds of days meant just as much to Jimin as it did for him. If he cherished every last second that they could just enjoy themselves, doing what they love.
The 25 seconds it took for Jimin to listen to the unfinished instrumental felt like an eternity while also simultaneously feeling like absolutely no time at all for Jungkook.
"I really like it," Jimin spoke, grinning in such a way his eyes almost disappeared, "It's very you. Simple, but you can really make it complex once you start adding in more layers of instruments. I feel like adding some sort of mallet instrument, like a lower register marimba would give some really nice texture."
Jungkook nodded, serious as he took a mental note of Jimin's feedback, “Right.”
Jimin took the headset off, placing it beside him on the desk before turning his attention back to Jungkook and reaching out to place a small hand on his knee. And the younger felt his breath get caught in the back of his throat, a burning anxiety at the gesture. It wasn't like this was anything new. Jimin was always handsy, always affectionate with every single member, always speaking with his whole entire body. But all his brain could think about at this moment was how close his hand was to his inner thigh, how just the simple touch could throw his mind back to the incident months before when he walked in on his hyungs. How he met eyes with Jimin, much like how he was meeting his gaze now, Jimin's eyes honest and playful with a hint of adoration.
Jungkook felt a bit frozen, afraid that if he moved it would mean losing his touch. He knew he must look as tense as he felt.
“I'm really proud of you, Jungkook.”
Jungkook could help but let out a breathless laugh at that, his body relaxing and the moment was over as he playfully swatted Jimin's hand away and turned in his seat to face his computer. “You're such a sap, Jimin.”
“Hey now, That's hyung to you,” Jimin protested, but there was no malice in his voice, no sign he was really annoyed. “And it's not cheesy if it's the truth. You're extremely talented, Jungkook, and you work even harder, even when you're not feeling your best, even when you're missing home. And soon enough you'll be producing your own music, and reaching heights that only the rest of us could dream of. This is one hyung who is so proud of their dongsaeng."
Jungkook felt his cheeks heat up under Jimin's praises but said nothing as he avoided his gaze and hit “Save,” on his editing program.
They sat for a few minutes in silence, Jimin content just listening to the small tapping of Jungkook's keyboard and mouse. And Jungkook tried to stay focused, he really did, but then Jimin was leaning against him and resting his head on his shoulder, and his hair smelled like Vanilla Rose and Jungkook knew it was even softer from personal experience, and Jimin's body felt so much lighter leaning against his.
“You're distracting, hyung,” Jungkook tried.
Jungkook stopped working and hit 'save' again when Jimin lifted his head off his shoulder.
He turned to look at Jimin and was met with eyes that held him down as if piercing through his very soul. Jungkook couldn't help staring back. They were so close he felt himself go cross-eyed looking at Jimin. And it was like he could see every strand of dyed hair and every small pore on his face, so gentle and soft like a porcelain doll. He wanted to reach out and touch, to trace every curve and line with his fingertips, to take in Jimin's beauty with his own hands. He let his gaze drift lower to Jimin's lips; They were perfect, pouty and full and almost unreal. And It would be so easy, impossibly easy for him to just lean forward, to reach out and cup his cheek while he felt those lips against his own. His mind raced, imagining what that might be like, and then it brought him back in time.
It always seemed to come back to that night.
And Jungkook realized he wanted to experience so much more than just a simple kiss.
Then the moment was over, Jimin backing up as he stood to leave.
Jungkook wanted to call him back, to ask Jimin to stay. He wanted to grab him by the hand and pull him back down to sit as he worked. He wanted to feel Jimin's head on his shoulder, to bask in his company. He wanted to do something, anything, just to make Jimin stay a little longer.
Jimin stood in the door frame, his smile ever so kind and features soft as he turned his head to look back at Jungkook. “Jin-Hyung and I were going to have a late dinner tonight, did you want to join us?”
“Uhhhh,” The younger desperately searched his brain for an answer, unsure of what was the correct choice. He wanted to say yes, wanted to spend more time with Jimin.
"Maybe some other time, I really do have a lot I need to work on."
Jimin nodded, and something almost seemed stilted in the movement. “I'll let you work then, Jungkookie. If you change your mind you'll know where we'll be. Take care.”
Once the door was shut behind him, a little harsher than what he'd expect, Jungkook let out a sigh of relief he didn't realize he was holding back.
The bitter part in the back of his mind wondered if Jimin liked to spend time with Seokjin as he did with Namjoon.
“Do you want something to drink?”
Jimin looked up, pulling his robe tighter around his body as he watched Sokjin come into the room with containers of food and a bottle of Bacardi. He sat at the table in Jin's room, fresh from the shower after practice and amazed at how far they've come from sharing rooms and recording in closets to having their own space like this and the luxury to share a drink and good food in privacy.
He grinned, sitting up in excitement. “Yes please.”
Jin, ever the oldest, moved quickly to set up both of their plates and mix the rum with a sweet fruit juice and ice to chill it. Jimin watched his movements, content to just bask in being taken care of like this.
Once both their plates we set, Jin sat down and motioned for Jimin to eat first.
“Thank you, hyung.”
He couldn't help the constant smile on his face as Jin worried over him. It reminded him of why they started this, back when they had nothing, when Jungkook had gone to the eldest, worried about Jimin's eating habits. The three of them would still make time for one another, would still eat together like this. Sometimes it was just two of them at a time, like Jin and Jungkook or Jimin and Jungkook or right now, Jimin and Jin. Part of Jimin had been really hoping Jungkook would say yes to coming, to have it be like the old days, but another part was almost relieved.
There was no explanation he could give for how earlier made him feel.
It wasn't like he didn't enjoy teasing Jungkook, in fact, being able to make any of the boys flustered was one of his favorite pastimes.
But this had been different. The way Jungkook had looked at him...
It made Jimin inexplicably feel guilty, as if he was doing something wrong and he didn't even know what.
“You aren't eating.”
Seokjin broke him out of his thoughts and picked up the forgotten spoon in Jimin's bowl, holding out the curry in front of his mouth expectantly. It was ever so like him, feeding his dongsaengs by hand and treating them like real brothers.
It made Jimin smile, and he leaned over to take the curry into his mouth. It was delicious, as always, not only because Jin made it but because he was so caring. His mouth was half full and he covered his mouth with his hand when he leaned back into his seat and cheekily said, “It tastes better when you feed it to me.”
Jin laughed, “You brat! Just how spoiled can you get. And here I am worried about you.”
But there was no malice, there never was when it came to Jin. In fact, the elder just scooted his chair closer to Jimin's side and picked up the spoon again. He waited patiently for Jimin to finish his last bite before grabbing him by the chin and shoving the spoon past his lips.
“You're going to act like a baby, I might as well treat you like one.”
Jimin's cheeks felt puffed and cherub between Seokjin's hand squeezing his face and the food in his mouth. And neither of them lasted long, couldn't take it anymore and they both keeled over laughing, Jin's classic windshield noise and Jimin choking as he desperately tried to keep the food in his mouth. Jimin leaned into him, placing a hand on Jin's shoulder to ground himself as he gasped for air and swallowed the food, accidentally getting rice and curry on Jin's lap.
Jimin just laughed as his entire body slid against Jin's and almost to the floor.
They took a minute to calm down, and Jimin let himself enjoy the moment for what it was as his breathing returned to normal and he sat up.
“Your cooking is wonderful, Jin-hyung.”
“Really, Jimin-ah, What's on your mind?”
Jimin looked towards Jin and found that his hyung was taking in his movements just as carefully. They were in this weird awkward stalemate, Jin's chewing the only sound breaking through the silence. But the older would look up ever so often with expectant eyes and finally, Jimin sighed, giving in.
He supposed if he could talk about anyone about this issue, it would be their oldest.
“I asked if Jungkook-ah would join us tonight, and he said he was too busy. So I guess I'm kind of bummed it's not the three of us.”
“Is my company not good enough?”
Jimin shook his head, chuckling, “That's not what I meant, you know that.”
Jin eased up, “I know, I know. Eat some more.”
Jimin took another bite, chewing slowly on his rice, thinking about what else to say.
Luckily, Seokjin took the conversation for him, “Jungkook-ah really is growing up. Maybe he just wants to spend dinner without all his hyungs around him. This really is one of the few days where he can just do what he wants. We all need time alone.”
Jimin nodded, smiling not because he felt like it, but because he wanted to reassure his hyung, “You're right. I can't keep Jungkookie to myself forever.”
Jin nodded, “None of us can. That boy is shared with the world.”
Those words made Jimin's chest hurt in a weird way, one he hadn't felt in a really long time. He knew what Jin meant. He knew that Jungkook, like the rest of them, shared almost everything of themselves they could with the world. He knew that Jungkook was practically made to be awed and admired. Jungkook would always be in the spotlight, praised for his talent and incredible voice. Even long after BTS was gone, Jungkook just- he deserved to be loved by everyone.
This dream, this haze, Bangtan Sonyeondan ...
All seven of them were shared with the world, keeping only slivers to themselves for safe keeping. Jimin himself kept his little piece locked behind closed doors, in a dark room buried under sateen sheets and too much liquor, under a broad chest that was too firm for the world to know about. And once their dream, Bangtan Sonyeondan , their perfect life finally ended, Jimin would allow himself the privacy so he could turn on the light. He knew after the dream ended he wasn't talented enough to continue on in the spotlight by himself. So he would allow himself the pleasure of freedom only when it was all over.
But Jungkook... for Jungkook, it may never be over.
He was born to be loved by everyone.
And a pang in his heart told Jimin he was selfish in wanting to keep him to himself forever.
Jin moved, getting out of his chair just so he could bend over and get even closer to him. And it seemed like he was studying really hard at something on his face, surprised almost, and Jimin looked up to meet his hyung's eyes, wondering what was going on. Then Seokjin reached out, mere centimeters away, placing his large, lean fingers on his cheek. His thumb passed under his eye, gentle and caressing, and his eyes held pain and confusion.
Oh. Jimin didn't notice.
So he let his hyung take care of him, cradling his face delicately as he wiped away every tear, and held a sad look of pity. One that Jimin hated, one that he didn't want ever directed towards him. But there was also this hint of understanding, like Seokjin knew exactly why he was crying, what exact thoughts were going through his head. Like a kinship.
“Sometimes a person is so beautiful we have to learn how to let go.”
And Jimin wondered who could have made Jin hurt like this.
The door swung open loudly and hit the wall in a way that made both Jimin and Jin jump a little, startled as if they were caught doing something they shouldn't. Seokjin stood up and turned around to see who came in, and Jimin tried to look but Jin's shoulders were just too fucking large for him to peer over and see.
“Ah, Jungkook-ah, you decided to join us.”
Jimin almost felt like flying at Jin's words, the idea that Jungkook actually came to join them lightening the heavy load he felt on his heart just a bit and made a smile play at the corners of his eyes. He moved Jin playfully out of the way, leaning forward in his seat so he could push him to the side.
But his smile fell fast when he saw the state Jungkook himself was in.
The youngest wasn't smiling, wasn't even his normal air of content. Instead, there was this unmistakable rage , like someone had wrong him completely, mixed with hurt and confusion. And Jimin wanted to hurt whoever made his Jungkookie like that, but then quickly realized that all that passion, all that pain... Jungkook was directing it towards him . And Jimin was taken back, not knowing what he did wrong, when-
“I'm sorry to interrupt you.”
It was said, harsh and cold, distant in a way that Jungkook hadn't been towards him in a long time. And then he realized, how this must have looked. Seokjin bent over him, caging him in, leaning in close as his broad shoulders covered most of Jimin from view as his own night robe was askew...
Jimin had the sudden urge to explain himself, to say the ever cliché' words promising it wasn't what it looked like. As if Jungkook just walked in something that could ruin their lives. As if Jungkook and he had something.
But this wasn't a K-Drama. And Jimin promised himself long ago that he would never explain or defend his actions when he'd done nothing wrong. And even if he was kissing Jin, it wasn't any of Jungkook's business, plain and simple. He had no claim on Jimin. He had no right to judge. And even though he was looking at Jimin, begging for answers in his eyes, Jimin honestly didn't have any that seemed appropriate. Nothing that he could give that would make either of them happy, nor an answer to make their circumstances any easier. So he didn't give one.
But that didn't make his next words hurt any less.
“I'll let Namjoon know it's Jin-hyung's turn tonight.”
Jin called out but it was too late, and they both were left with the echo of Jungkook slamming the door behind him.
Jin turned to Jimin expectantly, anger seething underneath but held back to let Jimin process what just happened with a maturity Jungkook clearly seemed to be lacking.
Jimin stared at the door for the longest time, shock numbing him to the core. Pain numbing him to the core. He could feel himself closing off from the world, but he pushed through. He tried to rationalize it in his head. Jungkook was hurting. He was obviously upset Jimin would offer him to come along and then find them compromised like that when he showed up. And there was the obvious fact Jimin was a flirt. He did tease Jungkook. And he knows the younger must have thought about him.
He's just jealous he doesn't get his turn, that's all. It's nothing personal. Jungkook's just too immature to handle sharing.
Jimin tried to compose himself and took a deep breath a little too shaky for his liking. He cleared his throat and looked towards Jin, “I'm sorry about that.”
"Don't be," Jin's response was immediate, and he went to sit next to Jimin. He pulled their seats even closer so now they were side by side, and let Jimin lean his whole body into his chest as he instinctively wrapped his arms around his dongsaeng. "That was really fucked up of him, Jiminie. He shouldn't say things like that about you. Shouldn't insinuate you're like that."
Jimin just chuckled darkly into Jin's shirt, taking in his fresh linen scent and the irony of his words. And Jimin realized he needed to explain, needed to let his secret become common knowledge to their eldest, “He wasn't insinuating anything not true about me.”
His voice came out quieter than he liked and not nearly as confident as he wanted, but Jimin pushed onward. The relief almost washing over him as he cuddled closer to Jin and let the older hold on even tighter. “It's all the truth, hyung. I've slept with Namjoon. I still do. Hobi and Tae too. He's only seen me with Joonie, but I'm sure he knows something is up, at least with 'seok.”
Seokjin said nothing. Not for a long time. But he didn't let go of Jimin, and that's what mattered.
After what seemed like an eternity, the elder let out a huge sigh, “Jiminie, look at me.”
So he did, leaning out of his grasp enough to meet Jin's eyes. And there was no judgment, no disgust, no anger. And just that knowledge helped Jimin tremendously.
Seokjin spoke with certainty. As if every word was a truth he was trying to drill it into Jimin, "It doesn't matter how many people you sleep with. It doesn't matter if you sleep with me, with Namjoon, with Yoongi, hell, with Taemin or Chanyeol or any other idol. You could sleep with all six of us, you could like giving out all the 'turns' you want. It will never give Jungkook the right to speak to you like that."
Jimin took a deep breath, this one much stronger, and nodded.
"Good." Jin smiled though it didn't quite reach his eyes, and brought Jimin closer for one more quick hug, "Now, you're staying with me tonight. We got to dance all morning with everyone to figure out new choreo, and you're going to have to teach me everything step by step so we'll both need our beauty rest."
So Jimin stayed with Jin that night, in the most innocent way he had in months with anyone; Cuddled up under the blankets, sleeping with a purpose for the morning, two friends comforting each other. Every now and then he thought he could see the mask Jin put up for Jimin's sake crack a little. As if he was thinking about something else. Someone else. Someone seemingly out of reach, like Jimin was realizing Jungkook might be for him.
He wondered if Jin knew what it was like, to possibly love someone who belonged to the world.
The practice had gone alright, as in the seven of them got a ton of work done. Jimin put all his energy and focus into his art, something that he knew he could count on even when it seemed like everything was falling apart around him. He had no problem learning what their Choreographers and J-Hope came up with, no problem adding in his own take and spin on the moves, no problem helping the others learn. But there was that tension so thick RM could cut it with a knife if he knew how to use one properly.
He almost felt bad, leaving V, J-hope, RM, and Suga to question what was going on with the other three. He knew that V was giving concerned glances between him and Jungkook and that RM had his leader-esque questions on the tip of his tongue. But this was work time, and it wasn't impeding on their performance. So he was grateful that they let it go, that at least J-Hope and Suga could pretend nothing was wrong and all four could realize that this was something that needed to be resolved without intervention. And if V got a little too worried, Jimin could count on Jin to back him up or distract him.
But Jimin also knew that if they didn't get over this soon, it would become a bigger issue. And he just wasn't ready for that, yet.
So he would do what he always did when he needed to get away from his own thoughts.
“Jiminie, you coming along?”
Jimin turned around and looked over at Yoongi's words. It was only then that he realized they were all getting ready to leave and he completely zoned out from the last five minutes of conversation.
He grinned sheepishly, "Sorry, what were you guys talking about?"
Namjoon spoke next, “We all decided to go out to eat, at that little restaurant that never rats us out, you coming?”
Jimin looked them all over, taking in every single one of him. His six bandmates. His six friends. His six brothers. And it was amazing how he could tell what they were all thinking just from the way the stood. Namjoon, ever the leader and ready to curb any objections from the others. Yoongi, his mannerisms casual but his eyes holding knowledge that Jimin probably didn't even know. Hoseok, bouncing up and down somewhat impatient to go but also considerate of his friend. Taehyung, obviously worried as his bit his lip to stay silent. Jin, eyes understanding and ready to take the heat off of him.
Even Jungkook, hiding in his hoodie with his head hanging low, obvious shame and guilt from last night, almost enough to make Jimin let go of his own.
Even now, he loved them all. Even when he needed time alone.
Jimin smiled, reassuringly bright and wiping the sweat off his brow, “That's okay, you guys go ahead. I wanna work on some stuff alone. I'll eat later, promise.”
Namjoon looked like he wanted to argue, but Jin cut him off smoothly and put an around both their leader and Tae to turn them around, “Alright, Jiminie, I'll bring you some food later! Let's go, I'm starving after today!”
They all called their goodbyes and Jimin waved back, and once they were gone he let himself stand and bask in the silence of the practice room.
Right now, it was just, the music, and his body.
And that would have to be enough.
Jungkook fucked up.
The moment he had slammed Jin's door in a rage and was left standing alone in the hallway, he knew he fucked up big time.
He couldn't believe he spoke to Jimin in that sort of tone, that he just looked upon the situation and immediately talked down to him. There were a million reasons they could have been that close which didn't involve kissing or being intimate. They probably weren't even doing anything, and Jungkook just made a fool of himself in front of his hyungs and completely disrespected them. And now, even more than just him being upset at the situation, at finding Jimin and Jin like that, he was frustrated at himself. Because he had promised, he fucking promised to himself that he would never treat Jimin differently, never look down on him, never do anything that might hurt him or make him think he was a bad person.
And now he'd went and hurt him because he couldn't handle his own emotions.
He spent all night in his room, sulking underneath the sheets and barely able to sleep. The only thing he could think about was Jimin, with Jin, in ways he didn't want to think of. He hated this, how since he'd seen Jimin and Namjoon that day in the practice room his thoughts were ever so slowly being invaded by the idea of Jimin in various positions, with or without his other hyungs. Sometimes they were completely sexual in nature, and Jungkook would accidentally let his mind wander as he imagined what Jimin would do for each of them. Jimin on his back, on his knees, holding tight and digging his tiny fingers into someone's shoulder blades. And the face, that face he made as he was in ecstasy, putting on a show for Jungkook.
But then sometimes it wasn't so sexual. Sometimes he would just think of the moments Jimin would laugh so hard he fell over, or when he smiled so big his eyes disappeared. He'd think of the gentle way Jimin would tuck him in if he fell asleep on the couch. He'd think of those eyes, of how soft his hair was, how good he looked in makeup, how kindly he'd address Jungkook even when he acted like a brat that day. Of how easy it was for Jungkook to lift him into his arms, and how Jungkook always seemed to want to treat Jimin a little bit more gentle than the others. And then he would let his imagination wander into dangerous territory, in ways that scared him equally as much. Of another life, where if Jungkook had met Jimin on the streets of Busan, what their friendship might be like.
Jungkook knew he had to make it up to him, had promised himself that night he would apologize first thing.
But instead, he just let himself sulk and go silent, watching Jimin too closely all day but refusing to make eye contact, messing up his own dance moves and obviously distracted. He wanted to apologize the moment he saw him, but for some reason, he just couldn't.
Saying sorry just wasn't good enough.
So instead it was just the six of them at dinner, Jimin opting out to throw himself into his craft. And he hated how he could look around at his other five hyungs and feel this sort of rage inside him, nothing like himself and how he normally admired and loved every one of them. Because all he could do was wonder, and imagine, and ask himself, just which of them had Jimin slept with? Was he sleeping with all of them, and Jungkook just didn't notice? How could Namjoon and Hoseok act so friendly, fighting over bulgogi and rice, how could it not bother them at all that they were sleeping with the same person? Did they know Jimin spent the night with Jin? And if the others knew, if they were in on it, how was it not a big deal to them? How was Jin laughing so hard and Taehyung joining in on antics and Yoongi smiling so contently?
Was Jungkook the only one sane, or was he the only one going crazy?
“Jungkookie, you haven't touched your food.”
Taehyung put a comforting hand on his thigh and looked at him with concern. But for some reason, it just made him even madder. Because how could Taehyung be acting concern over him, when Jimin literally had not eaten all day? How could any of them be okay with going out to eat when Jimin had only had 3 liters of water in his system? And now all of their eyes were on him, their youngest, his five older brothers eyeing him with this concern and care and babying him when he was the one who did something wrong in the first place.
Jungkook did his best to smile, but it felt more like a grimace, “Sorry, my stomach is hurting. I'll be back, I need to use the restroom.”
He stood up quickly and excused himself from the table, trying not to think of Tae's worried eyes on him, and rushed to his only escape in the form of a public restroom.
Jungkook leaned over the sink and eyed himself in the mirror, and for the first time in that dimly lit mirror, he didn't like what he saw.
He ran the tap and splashed water onto his face, trying to calm down the obvious redness and anger, letting the cool touch ease him for just a moment. He felt the pounding in his chest subside just a little bit and gave himself a moment to rationally think, taking in deep breaths. There was no way they could know exactly the inner turmoil going on inside him. He steadied himself before looking back up at the mirror.
And jumped at the sight of Yoongi's reflection behind him, casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an amused eyebrow raised.
Yoongi just gave a dry laugh, shaking his head, “You're so on edge, it's almost laughable.”
“Fucking hell, hyung, you scared me.”
“Yeah, that much is obvious. You were too busy feeling sorry for yourself in your own little world you didn't even hear me come in.”
Jungkook sighed and turned around to face Yoongi properly and leaned back against the sink. “Sorry, hyung.”
At that, Yoongi sighed, relaxing his arms to his side and stepping closer. The concern was written clearly on his face, mixed with something like pity, and Jungkook wondered just how much Yoongi really noticed in his silence, "Don't apologize to me. Something's wrong. And I know it's none of my business, but if something is bothering you and Jimin then I wish you two would work it out and talk about it instead of worrying me half to death. We're all worried about you."
Jungkook nodded and looked to his feet, guilt swelling up at knowing his tantrum was affecting everyone. He wanted to get advice, but he just didn't know how to word it. Didn't know how he could bring this up without talking about secrets that weren't his to tell, "I just- I really messed up, Yoongi-hyung. I said something really mean to Jimin because I was..."
Jungkook felt his tongue press against the back of his cheek. Because he couldn't believe what he almost said.
Was that what he was feeling?
Yoongi moved to stand next to him and leaned against the marble countertop as well so their arms were almost pressed together. So Jungkook looked over and was met with understanding and adoration from his hyung. Two things Jungkook wasn't sure he deserved at this point, "I get we're not that much older than you. But we all know what it's like to say things we don't mean and to hurt people we care about. I understand all too well. But it's how we learn and grow into better people. Jimin will understand that more than anyone. He knows you needed time to reflect. He's probably just waiting for you to come to him first and make sure you're ready for that growth."
Jungkook nodded. Yoongi was right. Of course he was, when was he ever wrong? The youngest leaned into his hyung's side, and Yoongi put an arm around him, not tight, but enough to be comforting. Yoongi was always saying he wasn't good at emotions, but Jungkook sometimes felt he was the only one who could really understand.
“I think I'm ready. I want to be a better man for him.”
Jungkook spoke those words with more certainty than he ever had in his whole life.
Jungkook opened the practice room door slowly and quietly as to not disturb or startle Jimin, and was instantly rewarded for doing so.
Jimin was in the middle of a routine, more contemporary in style with just a dash of hip hop, powerful and fluid as always. It always amazed him, how Jimin danced; Jungkook himself had a way of popping into place, crisp and clean. But Jimin, Jimin had no edges, so sharp lines, yet he hit every move, every position in such a way you could almost miss it if he wasn't so perfect. It was like his body was more liquid than solid, bending and peeling back to expose his very soul.
It was beautiful, the way Jimin conveyed music and words, every emotion pouring from him like a fountain. And with Troye Sivan's gentle yet powerful voice Jimin was harmonizing with his whole body, intense and rich yet soft and exposed.
Too Good to be Good for me.
Jungkook couldn't help but agree.
“Can I join you?”
Too bad that that's all I need.
Jimin stopped dancing, almost as if he had just woke up from a daze or trance. And Jungkook could see every ripple in his muscles as they relaxed and tensed against his tank top, the glisten of sweat coating his body. His hyung turned to look at him, eyes wide and almost confused, and he pushed back his blonde locks smoothly off his forehead to cool down, chest beating up and down rapidly, showing how hard he worked himself. Jungkook watched as the sweat collected on his brow into a small droplet, and the most disgusting yet erotic thought crossed his mind as he wondered what it might taste like to lick it off.
Jimin looked like the pure picture of perfection, one that Jungkook wanted to capture over and over and over again. One that Jungkook wanted to keep in the back of his pocket, in his wallet, in his camera's memory data forever.
He gave a small turn of his lips for a smile, and raised the two takeout containers in the plastic bag he was carrying. “Do you mind if I join you?”
Jimin had every right to say no, every right to reject his offer, and Jungkook would have understood. But Jimin just took a deep breath and mirrored his shy attempt of a smile. “Of course, Jungkookie,” his voice light and airy from his intense workout.
So Jungkook walked deeper into the room, shutting the door behind him and Jimin went to turn the music down low on the player. And Jungkook tried not to stare at the way he bent over, but he couldn't help it, the way his ass swelled and stretched against his workout pants. It was so round, and Jungkook wanted to reach out, to feel if it was as tender as he imagined it-
Jimin turned back around and walked towards him, and Jungkook sat down on the floor hastily to get out their meal.
They ate mostly in silence, an awkward affair with unknown tension that Jimin just wasn't used to. He'd look at his food and glance up at Jungkook whenever the younger wasn't noticing, and he couldn't help the pity he had on the boy, his tongue pressed against his cheek and worrying his lips with his teeth as he tried to find the words to say. But Jimin waited, trying his best to be patient, and slowly ate.
And then, on perhaps the 40 th time he chanced a glance at Jungkook, the younger was staring straight back, a sad frown and eyes glistening but not wet, the remorse wrote all over his face so plain Jimin had to resist the urge to lean over and hug him.
Hearing 'hyung' out of Jungkook's mouth just didn't seem right in this moment, no matter how often Jimin teased he wanted that respect. Jimin wanted to cry.
But he kept his face straight, refusing to let Jungkook see.
“I'm,” Jungkook started again, inhaling deep before releasing his apology. “I'm so sorry, hyung. Last night, it was wrong of me, to use that tone with you. I know I was harsh and I never want to be that person who judges or thinks poorly of someone. Especially not you. Never you. You're fine the way you are. And I wouldn't want you to be anything but yourself.”
Jimin looked down at his plate and hung his head, pretending to contemplate Jungkook's words. But he couldn't help but grin, happy at Jungkook's sincere apology. His heart felt like it would burst with the amount of fondness he held, and he didn't realize how heavy it was before, thinking that maybe Jungkook thought him disgusting somehow. He looked back up, beaming and grinning from ear to ear, “Apology accepted, Jungkookie. We all say and do things we don't mean. You know I'll always forgive you.”
Jungkook's whole body sighed in relief, the tension locked up melting away as he smiled brightly, his teeth showing slightly in that cute bunny way that made Jimin want to reach over and pinch his cheek. “Thanks,” he almost laughed, “I really, I just, the moment I said it I felt terrible. You really are perfect the way you are, Jimin-ssi.”
For some reason, Jimin found his cheeks flushing at the praise, not used to it from Jungkook so openly. He smiled sweetly and pushed his hair back before leaning back on his hands casually, “Perfect huh, Jungkook-ah?”
Now it was Jungkook's turn to be flustered, “Don't let it get to your head.”
Jimin threw his head back and laughed, bright and happy and loud. And Jungkook was so happy to see the sight, he couldn't help but smile and laugh as well.
Once the laughter died down, they sat in silence, staring at each other. And Jimin knew he was looking at Jungkook with fondness and adoration, but he didn't mind, because Jungkook was looking back at him the exact same way. And then Jungkook broke it, shaking his head as if he just had an annoying thought.
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook looked to the side with a quick upturn of his mouth, almost a smile but not quite, “It's just, it's so stupid. I don't even know what I got so worked up in the first place.”
Jimin shrugged, acting casual even though his mind was racing at the statement and his heart felt just a little bit heavier. Like he had a reason to feel let down or something.
So he hid behind his flirting, a poor habit he seemed to be developing.
“Ah, is Jungkookie feeling left out? Do you want a turn?”
At that, Jungkook went pink, “Jimin! No way!”
The older just smirked, leaning closer to Jungkook now and fixing his bangs affectionately. His fingers lingered just a little too long on his cheek, but Jimin didn't pull away and Jungkook didn't seem to mind, blushing madly at the small touch. "Jungkook-ah, it's okay. It's normal to think of those things occasionally. I don't mind."
The wink he threw in must have been too much, however, and Jungkook swatted his hand away and picked back up his food, thoroughly embarrassed and red from his ears to his neck. He picked up his plate quickly and mumbled into his food, “It isn't like that at all, Jimin...”
“I know,” Jimin conceded, his smile softer, kinder as he picked up his own food, “I'm just teasing.”
Jungkook stared down at his lap, biting on his tongue to stop himself from finishing his sentence.
...I want so much more than that.
Jimin found himself at Seokjin's door late that same night, knocking softly so as to not disturb the others. And part of him, in the back of his mind, knew that this was some sort of point of no return. That if he did this, he would officially be starting his own personal crusade, one he wasn't sure was good for him. But it was something he felt almost compelled to do at this point, consequences be damned.
When Jin opened the door, he didn't look like he had slept at all. In fact, his hair was still perfectly intact, and he seemed totally coherent, albeit a little surprised Jimin had come to him.
But Jimin saw through it, the carefree armor their Madnae kept up most of the time. Like last night, in those bits and moments when Jimin wasn't out of it, Seokjin became fully exposed. And at this moment it was clear as daylight. He could see the self-doubt he carried every day of his life, he could see the self-deprecating thoughts, the worry, the emptiness. He could see the heavy heart in his too-red eyes, slightly wet as Jin pretended like Jimin didn't know he was crying. He could see the hurt.
The same empty pain Jimin felt growing in himself more and more, more painful than just the emptiness in his stomach at times.
He put his hands on Jin's chest and pushed him back into the room, making sure to kick the door closed behind him.
"I know what you're about to say," Jimin spoke fast to cut him off, "That I don't have to do this. That you don't want this to change our friendship. And it won't. I never let it. You will always be my Jin-hyung; funny, caring, silly, hardworking... You were there for me last night when I was hurting and I didn't know why. But you were hurting, too. So why don't you let me help you as you helped me? Let's help each other .”
Seokjin didn't move for a long time, but Jimin could feel his chest pounding underneath his fingers, breath hitching more and more with each button he undid from his top.
“Whoever it is,” he continued, “You don't have to tell me. But if I can give you a moment where you don't have to think about it... then let me.”
And something turned cold in Jin's eyes. As if he hated either what he said or Jimin himself, and Jimin wondered what it was he wasn't understanding.
“If it's you, then I'll always think about why I wasn't good enough for him.”
But Jin didn't give him a chance to process that information whatsoever, because he was lunging forward, picking him up roughly around the waist and pushing him into the bed.
And Jimin held on for dear life the whole time, feeling every ounce of Jin's pain until his own seemed like a distant memory.
“Want me to suck you off?”
Yoongi choked on his drink, nearly spitting his wine all over his desktop and keyboard, only missing because he had enough sense to bring his hand to his face and turn his head at the last moment. Unfortunately, that didn't stop it from getting all over the carpet or Jimin's clothes.
Jimin just brushed it off, thankful he chose to wear all black today.
Yoongi set his glass down and wiped his hand on his jeans, turning his whole body to face Jimin in near disbelief (but not in disgust, Jimin noticed), “The fuck did you just say to me?”
Jimin tried his best to hide his laugh, he really did. But it was just too great whenever he got to see Yoongi flustered and bothered, and even more so when he was the one who caused it. He shrugged, smiling at Yoongi and crossed his legs, leaning back into the computer chair. Yoongi had been complaining just moments ago about how stressed he was, which gave Jimin the perfect opportunity to bring it up.
“I mean, I've been thinking about asking you for a few days, you've been so high strung lately.”
Yoongi stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked as he processed just how blunt Jimin was, and a small blush crept onto his cheeks, “Okay then... Why?”
Jimin watched Yoongi's Adam's apple as he dry-swallowed, grinning to him, and slipping out of the chair and onto his knees, already eager at Yoongi's acceptance to please him.
"Woah Woah Woah, slow down," Yoongi scooted backward in his chair, "Answer me first, maybe this isn't out of nowhere for you but I am seriously confused as to what the fuck is going on."
Jimin huffed, blowing his bangs that draped flat on his eyes out of the way. He knew Yoongi would try to over analyze things, which was the last thing he wanted. But at this point, Jimin was so tired of hiding and just wanted everyone to know.
“I literally just wanna suck you off. It's no big deal, I help out everyone else. I just want you to be a part of it.”
Yoongi blinked, “Wait, what do you mean you help everyone else out?”
Jimin didn't even try to hide his eye roll, “I've slept with everyone but Jungkook.”
Jimin knew Yoongi deserved time to process like everyone else, but he felt like he was getting impatient at this point. So he moved forward on his knees closer to Yoongi, kneeling in front of him. He fit himself between his legs and rested a hand on each of his thighs, waiting in a more comfortable position as he stared up at Yoongi.
Yoongi's face was flushed red, and he would blame it on the wine and not Jimin's boldness later, but his Hyung studied him carefully, trying to ignore the fact he was offering himself to ask more unnecessary questions, “So why do you wanna add me and not Jungkook to your reverse harem?”
Jimin shook his head, laughing but also slightly annoyed at Jungkook being brought up when he was literally offering his services on his knees, “It's not about Jungkook. You're stressed, and sex is a good stress reliever. And I like doing it. That, and I really wanna just suck you off, so...”
He started unzipped Yoongi's jeans carefully, and the elder allowed it, relaxing and lifting his hips to help Jimin pull them down. And boy, was it a nice sight, Yoongi's member already half hard and tenting his briefs. Jimin instinctively licked his lips, excited to taste, and went for the hem of his underwear before Yoongi clasped a hand on his to stop him again.
Jimin didn't hide his groan. “Yoongiiiiii.”
“Not yet,” Yoongi sighed, but Jimin could tell his breathing was getting even more labored, “I wanna know what it is you expect out of this.”
“Nothing,” Jimin deadpanned, “I expect nothing. You know how much I love sex. I've talked about it before to you. So why don't you let me see your pretty dick?”
Yoongi laughed at his statement, shaking his head, “Something seems off about you, Jimin. I had my suspicions you were sleeping with everyone, but I didn't say anything because I thought Jungkook would get jealous.”
Jimin went ridged. Because no, that wasn't it at all, and he didn't want Yoongi saying things like that when he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
“Can we not talk about this, please?”
Yoongi raised an eyebrow but didn't continue, and brought his free hand to card through Jimin's blonde locks as a quiet sorry, comforting in a way because he obviously touched a nerve, “Okay, we won't talk about him. None of my business anyway.”
With that, Yoongi finally let go of Jimin's hand and allowed him to pull down his briefs, revealing his nicely sized cock, half-mast and pink and nice looking. Jimin always tried not to compare everyone's dick, because he knew himself just how emasculating that could be. But part of him was comforted Yoongi was more like his size in not just their height but in this area as well. Like they were on a level playing field in all aspects.
That, and it was just textbook beauty, pink and with a long vein Jimin was dying to run his tongue over.
Ever since he slept with Jin nearly three days ago, It was like something finally cracked within him, and Jimin decided that he was going to embrace his promiscuity completely. He spent the next three days hooking up with his other lovers, seeing Taehyung just last night. And now, he wanted to help Yoongi out, to help his friend he knew dealt with anxiety and depression and stress. As Jin said, he could give out as many turns as he wanted, to whoever he wanted. And he wanted that distraction from his own thoughts, wanted to mold and pretend to be something else for a little while. Wanted to embrace his carnal desires with his hyungs and Taehyung. Wanted to serve.
He didn't want to analyze it any further, why he was so much more desperate now than before. He didn't want to think about how his chest hurt or his breath caught whenever their youngest looked at him. As if he just knew.
“You've been working so hard, Yoongi-hyung.” Jimin looked up at him, fluttering his lashes, and Yoongi blushed looking back into his gaze. Jimin grabbed his shaft, working slowly with his hand and licking his lips. “I just wanna take care of my hyung. I wanna taste you, wanna have you in my mouth. It looks so good...” Jimin added just a bit of whine at the end, because, well, he wasn't lying. Yoongi's dick looked so nice his mouth was watering, and like he wouldn't have to work so hard to give a good blowjob either. Just nice, fun, and easy.
Yoongi finally threw his head back in the chair and closed his eyes, the blush spreading all the way to his collarbones as he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of Jimin's hand finally. He rubbed Jimin's scalp affectionately, moving his head in a circular motion for fun before tightening his grip on his hair, “are you going to just talk me up, or are you going to actually suck it then?”
Jimin didn't need to be told twice.
So that was how it started, Jimin sleeping with all of his Hyungs, and occasionally Taehyung. He had wondered for a moment if it would be difficult juggling 5 lovers at once, but it was surprisingly easy. It wasn't like he was wearing himself out, because he wasn't sleeping with all of them in one week all the time.
Namjoon was only maybe once every two weeks, with the occasional repeat or lull. But he'd always been like that, not needing sex all the time, only when his brain was too cluttered. Being with Namjoon was always consistent because Namjoon was always consistent in whatever he did. Normal, no strings attached, and Namjoon always made sure it was good for him, that he was taken care of and sated whether he was topping or on bottom. And Jimin quite enjoyed how Namjoon was a secret cuddler, and Jimin could listen for a good while as Namjoon just talked about random facts or his deep intellectual thoughts on their world.
Hoseok was simultaneously the neediest and most frequent of his hookups, and seeing as they still roomed together Jimin was always in proximity for him. It was always at least once a week, with a random day thrown in sometimes if he was particularly high strung. It wasn't always elaborate, but it was intense, Hoseok always leaving some sort of mark. His saving grace was the fact Hoseok always wanted to lead, never needed Jimin to do more work than necessary. The first lingerie set Hoseok bought for him was a pale pink satin and chiffon babydoll with white fur trimming and matching underwear that made him either have to tuck or allow the tip of his dick stretch against the fabric because, hello, they weren't meant for boys. And it wasn't necessarily Jimin's favorite kink, but Hoseok loved it whenever Jimin would wear one of the items he bought, and Jimin was all about the attention. He made sure they had a safeword, Jimin only having to use it once so far when he didn't like some of the degrading language he used. And Hoseok was quick to correct it, a good dominate partner which he appreciated.
Taehyung was probably the most infrequent, and he could count with both hands how many times they'd slept together. It was only ever when they roomed out of town, and only when Taehyung was homesick and wanting someone to praise him. Which Jimin was more than willing to fulfill as his best friend. Sometimes they switched, depending on the mood, Taehyung liking to take it just as much as being praised for giving it so well. It was always easy and relaxed like they had all the time in the world, even though they knew they needed to be up by five. For them, it was just an extension of their already affectionate behavior.
Jin didn't sleep with Jimin for another two weeks or so after that first night. Jimin had worried for a moment if something had changed between them, that he messed up somehow, but it was like as soon as he voiced that to the eldest Jin assured him that he was just as nervous about messing up too and being rougher than expected, and the tension relieved almost immediately. And during their second hookup, Jin seemed to be a completely different personality in bed, soft and nervous and exploring Jimin as if he was studying every muscle, every different indent, every line. Jin was probably the most hot and cold overall, sometimes soft and gentle or manhandling him as if he was nothing regardless of the position they took. And Jimin was glad he could at least help him figure out some of the inner turmoil going on.
Yoongi was a simple man, who liked doing the bare minimum in the bedroom and was more than happy to let Jimin take charge as he relaxed and thought about nothing. He never went to Jimin and asked to stay the night, but it was always obvious to Jimin when he was too stressed and needed a distraction. When Jimin ever asked if there was any particular kink Yoongi would like to try, the older would just brush the question aside, saying he was happy with what they were doing now. He didn't care if Jimin was fucking into him or riding him, Yoongi always seemed to enjoy what Jimin decided on. But Jimin knew there was something he probably was hiding, some sort of secret kink. And he wondered sometimes if Yoongi would open up about it if he had a different partner, if he was more exciting than he even knew. But regardless, Jimin was a good stress relief for him, and that made him happy to know. Whether a quick handjob before practice or a good romping at night, Yoongi always seemed more relaxed and satiated, and always had a good performance for the audience.
He knew he wasn't what they wanted, but he definitely felt needed. And even though he felt this deep ache in his chest more and more, like something was missing, he didn't listen to it. And he tried to always keep his head high, just in case any of them needed to make eye contact, to give him some sort of signal when he was needed. And also because he refused to feel shame.
But sometimes, when Jungkook was the one to meet his gaze, he felt the unmistakable feeling of guilt swell into his stomach. Not because what he was doing was wrong, but because Jungkook would always look back at him with these, soft, kind eyes. Eyes that made his heartbeat quicken and his body shiver. And Jimin thought of it, on more occasions than he could count, of asking Jungkook if he wanted his 'turn'. But at the same time, there were a million reasons his head supplied that told him just how bad of an idea that would be. The biggest reason being Jungkook had never been in a relationship, much less had sex with someone to his knowledge.
It just added on to the many reasons Jimin was finding Jungkook to be the one thing he could never touch. Not only that but having Jungkook, to smile so kindly and treat Jimin like he was the dongsaeng, to tease and eat with... It was better that way.
Jungkook was too important to taint with something (someone) so meaningless.
Comments keep me going guys, Thank you so much for reading! I'll try to get the next chapter up within a few days. Please, let me know what you think. I know this is heavy so far, and as I said, it gets worse before it gets better. Hang in there, guys. And remember, Love Yourself Xxx
Chapter 3: Part 3
The Accident. The Mistake
WARNING: this chapter contains Dubious Consent and Non-Con Voyeurism and Exhibitionism. I did not intend to trivialize these matters in any way, merely show how these characters are forced to adapt and move on for the sake of group. Please take care of yourself while reading. The situation is very complex and the relationships set in stone are even more so. I hope you continue on with this fic ♡ but above all take care of yourself.
Thank you guys so much for your kudos and my two commenters! It really helps me keep going, and I appreciate it so much. I'm almost completely finished with this fic now, so I should be able to update frequently every 3-5 days. Depending on when I get around to proofreading. Please, let me know what you think. Comments and Kudos are appreciated, this fic is my precious baby and I know it can get rough, but I promise it gets better. Just like life, it'll get better. Love Yourself Xxx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Jimin was currently wearing nothing but an over-sized sleep shirt, his eldest hyung's dick fully inside him as he ground his hips down and Jin deeper. If there was one thing Jimin absolutely loved about Jin when he was soft like this, it was when he got into this mood of intense feelings, when the older would close his eyes and come apart just from the closeness and proximity of their bodies intertwining as one. Jin always held on to his hands, always seemed to be fighting back tears, would tell Jimin just how wonderful he was.
It felt good, having Jin underneath him like this, and he leaned forward to capture Jin's lips and hold him close, moving in circles slowly. He could hear the mewls and whines his hyung used, so far gone in his imagination, in Jimin's tight heat, that he was impossibly incoherent. And then he wrapped his arms around Jimin's back to pull him even closer, to the point where Jimin laid on top of him and could only slowly grind back, the position definitely intimate, as if Jin was content to just lay there, feeling himself inside him, not chasing for it to be over and done with.
Jimin felt like his heart was going to burst at the pure blissful look Jin had on his face, like this entire moment was a fantasy come true. One that only he could provide for him. It made Jimin come closer to the edge, the constant pressure of Jin's erection pressing against his prostate, like the had all the time in the world to stay like this. And he could feel himself slip into a fantasy, his mind wandering to all the different possibilities, of what this would feel like with someone he truly loved and adored, someone irreplaceable and heavenly.
To touch someone that seemed untouchable.
He pressed his whole body against Jin's, the friction of his erection fitting between their stomachs while Jin sped up just a little more, obviously searching for his orgasm inside Jimin. He whined, feeling the short, deep repetitive thrusts pressing against him and driving him wild. So Jimin held himself up just enough to looked down at the pure bliss on Jin's face, wanting to see him come apart. To see Jin's fantasy.
He kissed his lips again, once twice three times, and turned his head away just a bit, feeling Jin's cheek pressed against his as he chased his own release.
And that's when he heard it, the soft whisper of an exhale accidentally ghosting against his ear. He had almost missed it too, as he felt Jin orgasm and fill his body up to the brim with his warm seed.
After that, it was like his whole body was thrown into shock, into autopilot, trying to finish as quickly as possible so he could clean up and leave.
He shut the door behind him, walking down the hall as light as a feather so not to be heard, but his body had never felt heavier. Jin had even made a comment about how vigorously Jimin had been scrubbing his skin in the shower, worried he'd accidentally rub himself raw. Jimin just played it off, saying he was really tired and didn't realize it, that he just wanted to go to bed soon. But the truth was, he'd never felt dirtier, this aching and nagging in the back of his mind telling him it didn't matter how hard he scrubbed, he wouldn't be able to get it out.
It was like his brain was hazy, his surroundings foggy as he walked away. Like he couldn't think of any more excuses.
He didn't tell Jin what he accidentally said. After all, it wasn't his fault. Jimin was the one who went to him. Jimin was the one who started it all. He knew what he asked for, what he was getting when he signed up to be Jin's escape and fantasy.
But talking big and when the moment actually came were two different things.
He wasn't jealous. Jealousy was something he definitely wasn't feeling. After all, he knew Namjoon had feelings for someone for a really long time, and he'd been sleeping with Namjoon almost a full year longer than Jin. Going into both arrangements Jimin was fully aware they were pining after someone else. What he didn't think, was that they were pining over each other.
It made sense, though, a million questions slowly being answered as Jimin thought more and more about it. The comradery they shared, the gazes that lingered just a bit too long, the careful distance Namjoon always seemed to put up with Jin compared to the others. Their parental way of looking after the rest of them, the soft smiles he'd notice and the flustered blushes Namjoon would have to Jin's flirting. The dejected way Jin always looked when Namjoon walked away.
The sadness wrote on Jin's face as Namjoon would whisper into Jimin's ear whenever he asked for his company.
“If it's you, then I'll always think about why I wasn't good enough for him.”
Jimin understood now, and he felt like utter shit.
Two of his best friends were in love with each other, and they both were fucking him to try and get over it. When if Jimin had just stayed out of it, if he had not made that move on Namjoon ages ago then maybe they wouldn't have to deal with this. Jimin felt like he ruined the foundation of a home before it could even be built.
There was a big difference between being useful and being used .
And Jimin no longer knew which category he fell into.
He didn't want to go back to his room, didn't want to see any of his friends right now. He didn't want to look at their faces and wonder why he was doing this or what they thought of him. And he'd never felt so lonely, so upset and in need of comfort but all of his sources of comfort seemed so tainted now. And it was all his fault because the truth was it wasn't them who got tainted and selfish.
It was him. He was the one who pushed it. He had no right to complain, no right to ask for comfort.
But his mind, his heart could think of one person who he needed to see right now, and his feet carried him to their bedroom door as his arms raised to call for him.
He knocked quietly, not wanting to wake him, before feeling something in his spirit break and then he knocked louder, not able to wait anymore. And after a couple of seconds, he heard a quiet groan and movement, before the door opened for him.
Jimin didn't let Jungkook get another word into before he threw himself at him, holding onto the younger for dear life and feeling the tears fall from his eyes.
And it was like Jungkook knew exactly what to do, and the younger wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him in close even if his voice was confused, "Jimin-ssi..."
But the tears didn't stop, not for a long time, and Jimin was grateful when Jungkook led him away from the door and closed it behind them, picking up Jimin in his arms as if he weighed nothing and carried him to his bed to lie down.
When Jungkook got back from turning off the light and joined him, Jimin instantly went for his side and cuddled in closer, not wanting to let go. Jungkook didn't ask questions, didn't expect Jimin to be able to voice everything he was feeling or what happened. And how could he? How could he when his thoughts all felt so contradictory; as if he felt upset at nothing and everything at once and it was all his fault. Jungkook just held him, rubbing calming circles into his back, whispering how everything was going to be okay and occasionally swiping a gentle thumb under his eyes to wipe away tears.
And in Jungkook's arms, he felt like he could almost believe him. Because with Jungkook, it was different. It was always different. Jungkook didn't feel like some temporary piece of comfort.
Jungkook felt like home.
Jungkook held him, until Jimin's tears died down, until he could feel Jimin's breathing become less labored. His heart had never felt so broken, watching Jimin in tears, watching him in pain like this. He'd never felt so helpless, so useless . After what felt like an eternity, Jimin looked up from where he was buried into Jungkook's chest, eyes puffy and red and face swollen, snot and tear tracks against his face.
Jungkook still thought he looked beautiful.
“Thank you, Jungkookie-”
He couldn't finish his sentence without his breath hitching and blubbering, and Jungkook just pulled him back in, his arms wrapped tightly in the hopes it stopped another episode and kissing the top of his head on instinct.
“Don't,” he said, burying his face into Jimin's hair, “It's okay. Don't thank me, don't apologize. Just let me hold you.”
Just let me love you.
When Jimin woke up in the morning, he simultaneously had never felt more rested yet like he'd been hit by a speeding train in his entire life. The first thing he saw was Jungkook's broad chest, his arms wrapped around him, and the first thing he felt was a gentle hand on his face, caressing him slowly.
Jungkook spoke like he'd been awake for a while, waiting for Jimin to rise as well, and the thought made his heart swell.
“Hey,” he responded, his voice a lot rougher from sleep and crying last night than he expected, almost hurting. But he found a way to look up and greet Jungkook, smiling. Jungkook had his own soft, quiet smile, his teeth poking out just slightly and his eyes squinting, like looking at Jimin was somehow harder than looking at the sun.
To Jungkook, it may as well have been the same thing, Jimin so bright he couldn't take it all in at once.
And Jimin let his mind wander for a moment, imagining what it might be like to wake up like this every morning with Jungkook's arms around him, speaking so softly they could barely be heard, with him looking at him like he could do no wrong. What it might be like in a different life, where they could stay like this until the late morning, just enjoying each other's company. But he knew that they had responsibilities, that they were probably already oversleeping.
He let himself enjoy the moment for just a little longer, the soft feeling on Jungkook's hand threading through his hair tingling in the most wonderful way.
Finally, after a while, Jungkook felt like he had to break the spell, could no longer put it off, “We should probably get going, I think we're supposed to record some vocals today.”
Jimin groaned, but nodded anyway, lifting up his face to smile at Jungkook. “Okay, Kookie. The others might think something's up already.” And he noticed, his voice was still a little broken.
Jungkook just rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the bed carefully, “Come on, now, Jimin-ssi.”
Jungkook stretched, yawning loudly from the lack of sleep he got, and Jimin sat up, watching him. He noticed every line of his back, every muscle stretching and flexing against his skin, the way his shoulder blades protruded yet seemed anything but delicate. And his eyes went wide, his mouth threatening to open.
Something stirred in the pit of his stomach, warmth pooling and he felt like his mouth was a little less dry. And the thought dawned on him, like the brightest light shining over the horizon. It hit him, harder than a fastball.
Just when had Jungkook become such a man ?
Jimin wasn't all that surprised when he was forcibly put on vocal rest after the rather tragic warm-up that was a simple chord progression. The others understood, Yoongi handing him his water and Jin looking particularly worried, probably wondering if it was anything he did last night.
Which, not physically, obviously, but it was still a nice gesture when Jin brought a hand to his forehead to feel his temperature.
“Are you getting sick, Jiminie?”
Jimin just shrugged and tried to smile, but it probably came out more like a grimace. He was well aware of Jungkook's eyes on him, roaming the others, probably searching for answers that Jimin didn't give him last night.
Jimin had thought about explaining, but he couldn't do more than just say it was a moment of weakness, that life had just gotten overwhelming and he needed someone. He didn't need to drag Jungkook into this, didn't need to give him more of a reason to think poorly of him.
It was just the five of them right now in the room, Taehyung and Namjoon in the studio currently and the physician leaving after he was done explaining to Jimin what to do and take in order to heal his vocal cords the fastest.
'I'll be fine,' Jimin mouthed, giving just enough sound so that he understood, 'it happens.'
"Stop talking," Yoongi piped up, sitting with his arms crossed next to Jungkook, but he didn't look annoyed in the slightest, "You need to take care of yourself. Try taking it easy the next couple of days, okay?"
Jimin nodded, sighing quietly as he sat down on the piano stool and set his water down on the ground beside him.
“Awww,” Hoseok grinned, his smile obviously devious, “is that why you weren't in our room last night?”
Jin looked confused, “But you said you were really tired and needed your own bed last night.”
Jimin and Jungkook weren't even paying attention to the fact that Jin just mentioned their secret arrangement out in public, or that Yoongi had an amused smile on his face or Hobi had his jaw dropped in excitement. Instead, they both were staring at each other, wide-eyed and panicked, like being caught red-handed for something they weren't even guilty of.
Jimin was practically begging Jungkook with his eyes to not tell them what happened, scared they would know about him crying, their secret, his moment of weakness. So Jungkook thought quickly, although he wasn't sure how efficiently, “I ran into Jimin in the kitchen last night, and we got to talking about home. So he stayed with me because I was homesick.”
Jungkook wasn't a good liar, not at all, but he was proud of himself for thinking so quickly of an explanation that didn't embarrass Jimin.
“Homesick, huh?” Hoseok grinned, his tone insinuating something, “made yourself a home in Jimin's mouth last night?”
Jungkook sat rigid for a moment, jaw dropped, but Jimin rolled his eyes at his friend's callused joke. Sure it was a little mean, but it wasn't anything new for them to joke around like that. In fact, Yoongi was snickering and Jin himself was shaking his head fondly at their antics. Jungkook himself was the master of being a brat and sassing them to no end.
But this comment was too far for Jungkook, especially since he knew what Jimin had really been doing.
“Hey,” He spoke, voice deep and mannerisms hard and he had to stop himself from immediately jumping out of his seat, “It isn't like that, okay?”
Hobi just laughed it off, “It's just a joke, Kookie. Don't get so jealous.”
“Well I'm not jealous and you're not funny, so will you shut the fuck up for once?”
The room went dead silent, and the other three could only watch as the stalemate began. Hoseok looked like he was in disbelief Jungkook would say something like that to him, his eyebrows raised in a challenge and his arms crossed. But Jungkook didn't back down, glaring daggers into his eyes.
“Excuse me?” Hoseok spoke, eerily calm.
Jungkook said nothing, and Jimin felt like he needed to intervene before there was a fight on their hands.
“Jungkook-ah,” he spoke with a careful yet commanding tone, and louder than he should be. The younger turned to look at him.
“It was just a joke and I'm not offended. I don't need you to fight for my honor. So don't you ever speak to your hyung like that again.”
Jungkook face was red in anger and shame, confusion and hurt written in his eyes, and if this was a cartoon Jimin swore he would see steam coming from his ears. And it's not like he could blame him, Jimin was rather harsh in his tone, but he didn't need Jungkook acting like this over him. He could take it, he could defend himself if he wanted.
Jungkook stood up, rigid with embarrassment, and hung his head, “Sorry, Hoseok-hyung.”
Hoseok shrugged in indifference but his eyes carefully studied him, as if analyzing every movement, “It's okay, Kookie. We all fight sometimes and I was a little insensitive.”
At that, Jungkook walked out of the room quickly, shutting the door with a little too much force and leaving his hyungs with that awkward tension.
“Just what was that about?” Yoongi asked.
Jimin just shrugged and shook his head, not quite sure how to explain everything he was feeling, or what happened last night, or why it bothered him Jungkook was so quick to deny and defend, or why Hoseok's comment did actually upset him.
“Jungkook wants to fuck you.”
Jimin just rolled his eyes and turned around to face the opposite wall, not wanting to deal with Hoseok right now.
“I'm being serious,” He spoke again, “He acts so territorial and high strung, and he's so upset whenever we mention any sexual jokes about you. I think he's feeling left out or like you view him as a baby because you won't sleep with him but you sleep with everyone else. He wouldn't have gotten mad at me the other day otherwise.”
Jimin sighed, glaring at the wall in front of him like it was Hoseok himself. “Jungkook has said on multiple occasions he does not think of me like that.”
“Dude, everyone here thinks of you like that. You're too fuckable no to.”
And Jimin didn't respond, but his mind wanted to say a million things. That he wished Jungkook wanted to sleep with him because then it would mean he was wanted in some form by him, even if it was only physical. But he also didn't want Jungkook to view him like that at all... because it would just mean he was like the rest. And Jungkook was the one person Jimin didn't think he could handle being just a warm body for.
Because slowly, he was realizing his heart wanted more. That Jungkook was more important than that. That he ended up falling for him without even realizing it. The last few years, watching him mature, age, grow...
And the worst part was admitting it meant he couldn't do anything about it.
He felt Hoseok sit down and the small dip of his bed, felt his fingertips run through his hair, and he could tell, that Hobi wanted sex. And Jimin hated himself for wanting to say yes. Like he was cheating. Like he was attached to someone he could never have.
He turned to lay on his back and looked up at Hoseok, and his eyes were uncharacteristically gentle, kind, unlike his normal hard passion that shown through whenever he wanted sex.
“I know you're not feeling well, and that you should be on vocal rest. You literally do everything I want, so let me take care of you, okay? As a thank you? Roomies for life, after all.”
And Jimin nodded, needing a distraction, needing anything to get himself away from his mind.
And Hoseok was true to his word, focusing on Jimin's pleasure for the first time. His mouth was on his dick and he wasn't amazing at blow jobs, but it was nice and he was feeling that pull. And then Hoseok pulled back.
“You can say his name, I don't mind.”
And Jimin closed his eyes, stinging and holding back tears as he felt Hoseok's hand intertwined with his while imagining someone else.
He understood Jin, now.
Jungkook wasn't mad at Jimin, in fact, he wasn't even mad at Hoseok.
He was mad at himself.
He was mad that he reacted so poorly in the first place to Hoseok's joke when he normally speaks like that anyway. He was mad that Jimin even had to tell him off. But he was also hurt, his chest aching and heavy because all he wanted was to protect Jimin. He didn't want to embarrass him by saying Jimin had been inconsolable, especially when he didn't even know why he was crying.
And he was mad at himself for thinking, for just a split moment, he had a right to speak for Jimin.
Jungkook looked up from his phone, looking over at Jimin who sat next to him on the sofa in the dressing room. They were going on a live television show soon and the whole room was bustling around them. “hm?”
Jimin smiled, sad and small, the tension not yet dissipated between the two of them. But Jimin reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it with the back of his hand and his thumb. And Jungkook forgot for a moment how to breathe, that there was too many people in this room and an arm's length distance between him and Jimin, and could only thinking about how much he wished he could scoot closer to close the gap.
“Jungkookie, I never thanked you, for standing up for me. For being there for me that night. It means more than you'll ever know.”
Jungkook could see the pain in his eyes, even through the blue contacts, even through the layers of mascara. And he wanted to take it all away, to make his hyung's life just a little easier. He wanted to be in his life, more than he already was.
And just like that, Jungkook was caught once again, hook line and sinker.
“Jungkook-ah, are you busy later tonight?”
Jungkook stopped dancing and turned around to look at Hoseok. It was just the two of them, with Jimin back in the studio now that his voice properly healed and the other four calling it a day. They'd been good for a few weeks now, Jungkook having cooled off and apologized to him properly and Hoseok being quick to forgive and almost understanding. And now they were back to their antics, even if it seemed a little forced.
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “It's already late, how much later were you thinking?”
Hobi shrugged with his hands behind his back as he rocked back and forth like a child, a playful smile on his face, “Midnight.”
Jungkook eyed his friend suspiciously, not knowing what to expect or why Hoseok would ask this when he knew all too well how precious their sleeping hours were. “That's- what is it?”
Hoseok came closer, putting an arm around Jungkook's shoulder that the youngest took a cautious glance at before being tugged in for a side hug. “I need to show you something, it's a surprise. Can you swing by my room?”
“uhhhh,” Jungkook hesitated, “but, Jimin-ssi... would he be mad I'm showing up so late?”
Hoseok chuckled. “Don't worry, I'm sure Jimin-ah won't mind at all.”
Jungkook sighed and nodded, finally relenting, and Hoseok cheered in response.
“Great! I'll see you then Kookie~”
And then Hobi was running off, apparently done with practice and leaving Jungkook utterly confused.
Jimin couldn't deny that whenever Hoseok fucked him, he fucked like he meant it; powerful and strong and making Jimin cry out gasping from a mixture of stimulations.
He was currently tied to the railing at the foot of the bed, black satin ribbons digging into his wrists above his head. Enough to feel it, not enough to mark. Hoseok's hands were resting on his thighs, on the meaty part that lay between the garters and the new, lacy pink thigh highs he bought so he could nearly fold Jimin's body in half and thrust in deeper while having a good view between his legs. It made Jimin feel like all he could do was focus on breathing and just take it, his prostate abused and raw and his mind going blank to the world around him.
"God, you look so good," Jimin heard, feeling as Hoseok let go of his right thigh to run his thumb across his painted lips, pink and delicate and glossy like Jimin knew he liked. "Like a fucking princess, such a good girl for me."
Jimin's eyes fluttered closed as his whined, high and light in his voice that he knew Hoseok liked to imagine belonged to someone else. He could feel Hoseok slowing down, drawing this out, edging him and he couldn't understand for the life of him why Hoseok would stop now, but he lowered his head so it was hanging off the bed and his bottom half, and Jimin felt like he was gasping for air and could actually breathe again and the burning in his core muscles started to subside.
Hoseok moved a lot slower now, almost for show, like he wanted to prove a point that he was in control and could set the pace, and Jimin was about to complain until he heard a knock on the door and his eyes shot open in panic.
"Sshhh," Hoseok whispered, seemingly unfazed as if he knew what was going on.
Jimin was pulling on his restraints now, forgetting momentarily that he was tied up and the tried to squirm away, “Hoseok,” he whispered, his heart racing now for a completely different reason, “What's-”
Hoseok put a hand over his mouth immediately, before lifting his head to face the door.
“Come in, Jungkookie.”
Jimin felt his heart sink, burning intensely in his chest and he couldn't actually believe that this was happening. He watched, feeling helpless as the upside down door in his vision opened and Jungkook's form slowly came into view.
He could feel Jungkook's gaze on him, his eyes wide and starstruck like the last time he walked in on Jimin having sex, taking it from one of their Hyungs. But instead of confidence, Jimin felt an odd mixture of arousal and shame , not wanting Jungkook to see him like this but also enjoying the way Jungkook's pupils dilated as he zeroed in on Jimin's body, on the restraints, on the thigh highs, and then he felt Hoseok move inside him, continuing to fuck him, while Jungkook was standing there, the door wide open and Jimin moaned into Hoseok's hand involuntarily.
He watched as Jungkook dry swallowed, obvious rage and arousal dancing like flames across his eyes.
“Shut the door, Jungkook,” Hoseok demanded.
And the youngest obeyed, stepping into the room.
Jimin was the perfect description of pure sin, of tainted innocence, and Jungkook couldn't even look anywhere else if he wanted to.
He almost wished he could say this was like The Incident, like that day over a year ago where he first saw Jimin like this, fucking someone and moaning and looking at him. But the air was totally different, and Jungkook was different, no longer that child, no longer so naive. And the rage, the jealousy, the want coursing through his veins as he stared at Jimin, watching Hoseok be the one to fuck him, make him feel so good that he couldn't help moaning.
Jungkook tried to tear his eyes away from Jimin to address Hoseok, but he just couldn't. It was like a spell, captivating and alluring, Jimin's beautiful brown eyes staring straight at him, the only comfort being the surprise clearly written in them at seeing Jungkook. "Just-" he began, voice trembling, "Why- Hoseok-hyung, why-"
“Just look at him.”
Hoseok finally removed his hand from Jimin's mouth and grabbed onto his hips to fuck into him. Jimin gasped out, struggling with his restraints, sweaty and moaning as Hoseok didn't give him the chance to speak, “Wanted to show you, show you how pretty he is.”
And God, was Jimin pretty, the thought of thigh highs and makeup never seeming more appealing to Jungkook than on Jimin's body. Those delicious legs wrapped around Hoseok, the fact his erection was on display.
“Isn't he beautiful? Doesn't he look good like this, just taking it on my cock?”
Jungkook said nothing, his mouth dry and his fist clenching at his side, his tongue pressing against his cheek.
Jimin whimpered, feeling helpless, “Hoseok, stop. Why are you- unnnnnnnnnhhhh.”
Hoseok cut him off by moving him, folding him almost back in half and fucking hard into him, pounding relentlessly against his prostate. But Jimin couldn't even look at him, couldn't tear his eyes away from Jungkook, and the youngest's gaze was so tantalizing Jimin couldn't think of anything else.
“Jungkook,” Hoseok spoke, a rasp to his voice, “Isn't he gorgeous, just like he was born for this? Doesn't he look perfect?”
And Jungkook finally breathed, “ Yes .”
It was desperate, almost whiny, and Jimin couldn't handle this, not any of this.
“Come closer,” Hoseok said, “I want you to see it when he comes.”
Jungkook moved barely a foot, not trusting himself to get any closer to Jimin, not trusting himself to punch Hoseok in the face. And the words came out of his mouth, “You're beautiful , Jimin.”
And Jimin couldn't take it.
And that's when he came, harder than ever, moaning out Jungkook's name, eyes closing and lips trembling and tears going down his face, the desire and need too much to handle. Jungkook looking at him and telling him he was beautiful and the utter shame of it all. He lay there, crying, moaning, coming down from his orgasm but not feeling any better.
“Tell him how much you want him.”
And then it dawned on him, what Hoseok was trying to do, why he did this. Why Jungkook was here, looking at him, arousal and anger apparent on his face. Looking like he wanted Jimin so bad he couldn't help himself.
Hoseok was trying to set them up.
“Oh, God, Jimin,” Jungkook choked out, his eyes watering at this point, not being able to handle all of this. “God, I'm sorry, I-”
Jungkook fled, turning around shutting the door behind him.
And Jimin woke up, anger welling up inside of him.
Hoseok halted, looking down at Jimin, “what?”
“Mang, you fucking asshole, now get off of me!!!”
Hoseok immediately obeyed, climbing off Jimin and releasing his restraints, and the first thing Jimin did was sit up and hit him on the chest, punching with only half the force he wanted to and weakly crying. Hobi's eyes widened as he watched his friend, the guilt and worry immediate as he grabbed onto Jimin's wrists to stop him from hitting him again. Jimin struggled in his grasp, his makeup smearing down his face and mixing with his tears, hysterical and upset that Hoseok would even think this was a good idea.
"Shit, Jimin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Hoseok stumbled over his words as he held onto his struggling friend, checking him over for any injuries. "I just- I just thought-"
“No, you didn't!” Jimin pulled out of his grasp before hitting him again square in the chest, “You didn't think at all.”
Jimin choked and sobbed his words, his heart not familiar with taking all of these blows, and he collapsed into Hoseok's arms, hugging him and conflicted and needing comfort. And Hoseok wrapped his arms around him tightly, the guilt washing over him.
“You're right, I didn't think.” Hoseok spoke, calm and sad and with regret, “I didn't think at all about if you'd be okay with it. I just thought it might make him wake up, I don't know, make him admit something.”
And Jimin understood, God he understood, even if he didn't want to. Because from Hoseok's perspective, it was as simple as admitting attraction. But it wasn't that simple, and it could never be that simple.
Jimin used to never care. He used to never hide what he did from his friends. And he'd never once felt more ashamed than this moment. He was utterly terrified , terrified Jungkook would see him differently, terrified that Jungkook would find him filthy, terrified that he'd think of what he was doing was wrong. It was irrational, he knew Jungkook would never judge him, knew that Jungkook would always care about him.
But he never cared about what someone truly thought of him, until Jungkook.
Like many people who've used him, who've slept with Jimin, he knew Jungkook was attracted on a physical level to him. He knew Jungkook looked at him like that, with want and desire and an almost innocence of what it would be like. He couldn't deny it, even if Jungkook wanted to. But lust and love were two separate things.
And he didn't know if he could handle just being lusted after, just being used as the others did to him, by the one boy- no, man...
Jimin has totally, without knowing, without warning, fallen in love with Jungkook.
The morning was awkward and rushed, no one getting proper sleep and all of them being cattled into a van on their trip to a broadcasting network for their performance. Jimin could barely look Hoseok or Jungkook in the eye, hanging his head low and leaning against Taehyung in a desperate attempt to look asleep. He didn't want to think about how horrible he knew he was going to perform, how distracted and tired and hurt he was.
And he tried to not to think about it, he really did, but then he felt Taehyung move in his seat to wrap an arm around him.
“What's wrong, Jiminie?”
Jimin sighed and opened his eyes, turned his head to look up at his friend, “It's nothing, Taetae. I'm just really tired.”
Taehyung sighed, obviously not believing him, but he still used the arm wrapped around him to play with his hair. And Jimin knew it was supposed to be comforting, but all he could think about was Jungkook and the night he spent, curled up and Jungkook playing with his hair until he fell asleep. And he knew his friend was just trying to help, but it seemed everything around him reminded him of their youngest.
How did he allow himself to get like this?
They all were quiet for the most of the ride, Namjoon and Jin talking over scheduling in the middle row, and the back row containing Yoongi dead asleep between a painfully awkward Hoseok and Jungkook.
The youngest refused to look anywhere but out the window. He couldn't bring himself to even pretend he got any sleep, accepting that he would probably just pass out in exhaustion after today was through. And he hated this, hated that he couldn't be perfect today for the world, hated that he couldn't just tell Jimin all that he was feeling. Hated that Hoseok had to put him on the spot like that. Hated that he got himself off moments later to the sound of Jimin calling out his name.
Hated that he ran away like the coward he is.
Jungkook said nothing. He didn't even turn his head.
“Jungkook-ah,” he heard Hoseok again, and the desperate plea laced in his voice made him turn his head.
Hoseok looked at him with something akin to remorse or pity over Yoongi's head resting on his shoulder, two feelings Jungkook didn't want direct towards him right now; not from Hoseok. But he knew if he made a scene, if he spoke about it, then everyone in the car would know what had happened. Not just the rest of the boys, but the driver too.
Hoseok cornering him like this, it wasn't fair. It was a coward's way out, not that Jungkook had any right to judge after he ran away like he did. Maybe they both were just cowards...
“Jungkook-ah, I didn't mean to upset you.”
Jungkook just sighed and hung his head. He was too tired for this.
Tired of everything.
“I just wanted-”
“Look,” he interrupted and snapped his head back up to look at him. It was perhaps not as quiet as intended and a little more sharp than he wanted, but frankly he was cranky and tired and he just didn't care, “Can we not talk about it right now? I just wanna get through today.”
There was nothing but silence for the next few seconds, Jungkook glaring over Yoongi's dead asleep body and Hoseok meeting his gaze with concern and surprise, maybe even a bit of fear. He figured Hoseok was too frozen to move, so Jungkook did it for them and turned away to shut him out and look back at the window.
A few minutes passed, Yoongi stirring only slightly, and Jungkook could feel Namjoon and Jin's concerned gaze on him that he refused to acknowledge.
“I just wanted to say, I'm sorry Jungkookie. It was all my fault. I acted without thinking of how it would make you feel and I shouldn't have gotten involved.”
And Jungkook sighed, tension releasing from his body as he hung his head and processed Hoseok's words. Honestly, he didn't want to be mad. He didn't want to hold a grudge or feel like this. He was too tired. And the truth was, whenever Hobi got like this, sincere and honest and concerned, vulnerable even, Jungkook could never stay mad.
He didn't like holding this hurt in his body.
He lifted his head and turned back to Hoseok, the corner of his mouth barely lifting in a poor attempt to smile, “It's okay, Hyung. I know you didn't mean it.”
Hoseok bit his lip and nodded, and Jungkook hated how hurt he looked, hated that he wanted to cheer him up when Jungkook was the one who should be sulking. He debated for a moment in his head whether or not to give Hoseok an out and reveal a bit of himself too.
“...You were just trying to help, right?”
That put the smile back on Hobi's face, grinning and nodding vigorously and Jungkook couldn't help but smile too. “Thanks, Kookie, for understanding.”
Hoseok's smile was sometimes so bright Jungkook wondered how real it actually was.
Jungkook jumped as Yoongi stirred, opening his eyes and sitting up straight in his seat so he only had to lean on Hoseok a little bit. Hoseok's jaw dropped and Jungkook felt his face flush at realizing the eldest of the three had been awake this whole time.
Yoongi turned his head sharply, his bones giving a satisfying crack that made Jungkook cringe at how loud it was, “I thought this whole fucking day was going to be a disaster and I'd have to lay like that the whole time.”
Jungkook gave a breathy laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.
Again, hearing Jungkook address him as hyung made Jimin's heart flutter in both excitement and pain. He didn't like the fact he was beginning to associate it with whenever Jungkook felt sorry for something.
He was currently getting his make up redone, having accidentally smudged his liner and lipstick, and the woman finished powdering him quickly as to leave them alone. Jimin tried not to be the last one this time but it honestly couldn't have been helped; he was too busy rubbing his face trying to keep his composure.
He got up from the chair, standing as tall as he could as he looked at Jungkook, and their height difference took him off guard but he didn't show it. Jungkook's height served as a reminder of just how much he'd grown. How much of a man he was. “Yes?”
He grabbed the bottle of water from the desk and took a sip, just to keep his hands busy. He noticed Jungkook biting the inside of his cheek and the way his tongue pressed against it.
"I just-" Jungkook hesitated, thinking of what he wanted to say next, "I just want you to know I'm not upset or mad, and I'm sorry, too. I don't think Hoseok meant to upset us and I don't want things to be weird between you and me. You're-" Jungkook gave a nervous smile, small and special, one that made Jimin feel like his heart was doing somersaults, "you're still my Jimin-ssi."
Jimin's chest felt just a little bit lighter as he stared into Jungkook's eyes. He did his best to smile and found it came just a little bit easier.
He poked at Jungkook's cheek where he worried it with his teeth and brought the water bottle to his chest, “I'll always be your Jimin-ssi, and don't you forget it.”
Jungkook took the water, his hands lingering as he stared back at Jimin just a little too long.
Comments and Kudos are appreciated! I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and interacting, it's what keeps me going as a writer. So thank you. Love Yourself Xxx
Chapter 4: Part 4
This chapter is shorter, but I felt belonged together in its own separate part. This is also the part that inspired this whole story, back in December when I first began writing it. I do really enjoy this scene, and I wanted to show the different dynamics between all seven of the characters.
I also want to stress that although a character might feel a certain way about something, that does not mean it expresses my own views. As I said, this is a lot of angst before it gets better. So hang in there, please enjoy, comments and kudos are more than welcome!
Love Yourself Xxx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It happened on a day off, on one of those days off that wasn't really a day off but it at least meant that the seven of them would have time to spend with each other and out of the line of cameras. One where they all still worked on their individual projects or shortcomings but made sure to make up for it by spending some of their time relaxing.
They were all in the living room, watching Jin cook on one end near the kitchen. Taehyung was closest to him, sitting next to Namjoon at the bar separating the kitchen from the sitting area. J-hope was on the three seat couch with Yoongi, both writing something down and whispering quietly about songs. And Jungkook? Jungkook was casually on his phone, trying to ignore Jimin and the way he chose to lay his head in Jungkook's lap to stare up at him, legs dangling off the arm of the love seat. Finally, Jungkook caved and allowed himself to thread his fingers through Jimin's hair, a beautiful silver tone for right now. It made Jungkook want to dye his hair something crazy.
Moments like this made Jungkook happy to be alive, happy to be a part of this amazing journey with these amazing people. These little moments, when Taehyung would learn English from Namjoon, when Yoongi and Hoseok would smile at each other like they knew something everyone else didn't, when Jin would take care of them like a real older brother... When Jimin would smile and poke Jungkook's face with his finger.
Jungkook looked down at Jimin and grinned, snatching his hand, “Stop it.”
The way Jimin's small, soft hand felt squished in Jungkook's grasp was like heaven, and he relished in the feeling for a minute.
Jimin just smiled even wider, his eyes disappearing, “Make me.”
And well, Jungkook wasn't one to back down from a challenge.
He moved fast, wrapping his arms around Jimin's waist to pick him up and maneuver their positions so Jimin was underneath him on the small couch, which earned him a cute yelp and some weak protesting from the older of them. Even through Jimin's baggy sweater, he could feel how thin and light Jimin was, but how strong his muscles were defined and how easy it was for Jungkook to pick him up like he was nothing. But he didn't give himself much time to dwell on it, because he was currently too busy trying to get Jimin's wrists in one hand and the other into his shirt for a merciless tickle fight.
Finally, he got it, holding tightly onto Jimin's wrist and pressing them into his chest while he squirmed underneath Jungkook, violently laughing and kicking as he tried to get away from Jungkook. But the youngest was too big, sitting himself carefully on top so a leg was on either side of Jimin's smaller frame.
“JungkookieEEEEEE!!!!” Jimin squealed, laughing and crying and smiling even though he hated this. Jungkook just smiled and laughed, his heart light, tickling at Jimin's sides, alternating whenever Jimin would squirm one way or the other. “Okay, okay, okay stop!!! Stop- Jung- Please- I can't- breathe!”
Jimin was wheezing now, teary-eyed as he looked up at Jungkook with such a blinding smile the younger felt like time was stopping. Jungkook backed off, sitting up and pulling his hands away from Jimin so that he was on his knees and could look down and admire the sight before him. Jimin's freshly dyed hair framing his face, round cheeks flushed red, lips wet, chest moving rapidly... He wanted to frame this portrait, to keep it in his memory forever. Because right now it felt like just the two of them. As if no one else existed.
“You guys are so cute~”
Taehyung's low, sweet drawl of a voice broke both of them out of their bubble.
Jungkook and Jimin looked over at the others, taking in Yoongi's smirk and Hoseok's grin, Jin's small chuckle and Namjoon's affectionate eye roll.
Jungkook looked down at Jimin, eyes wide in realization as Jimin's confused and almost disappointed gaze looked back up at him.
God, Jungkook forgot for a moment that everyone was in the room.
“No, please,” Namjoon crossed his legs on the bar stool and leaned against the counter, his hand cradling his head. “Don't stop on our account.”
Jungkook rolled off of Jimin quickly, lowering his body on the floor as Jimin sat back up and brought his legs close to hug his knees. He then picked himself up, sliding back into a sitting position on the couch.
He looked over at Jimin, who stared at him with some sort of worry, and Jungkook felt compelled to defend him again, “It isn't-”
“Like that,” Yoongi interrupted, deadpan, “We know."
That got a laugh out of everyone else, even a smile from Jimin as he pushed back his hair and shook it off, but Jungkook felt like his chest got a little bit heavier. Like this was some sort of inside joke he wasn't in on. Like he was the youngest and out of the loop.
Like everyone knew and was taking the piss out on him.
But Jungkook said nothing, letting the way Jimin curled into his side and held onto his arm relax him. They were always affectionate like this. All of them. Was it really so different?
“They're just teasing Kookie, you know that. You're the master at teasing everyone.”
Something about Jimin's voice calmed him down, and Jungkook just pouted and nodded.
“Okay,” Jin announced, excited, “Just put the rolls in the oven. It'll be about twenty minutes.”
The excitement of Jin's announcement seemed to distract the others, and Jungkook took the moment to pull out his phone and continue his game, staring at his screen and trying not to think of how Jimin's head still rested on his shoulder, watching.
A few minutes passed, and Jungkook could hear a mixture of both Yoongi and Hoseok's and Tae and Jin's conversations for a while, as well as Jimin's gentle breathing beside him.
It was nice. Peaceful. Familiar,
And of course, Jimin would answer Namjoon's call, his body warmth leaving Jungkook frigid as he turned his head and attention over to their leader. And it wasn't like Jungkook wanted to hear or pay attention, but he paused the game anyway.
Jimin grinned, smile bright towards Namjoon as he leaned over the edge of the sofa. “Yes, Namjoon-hyung?”
Namjoon crouched so that his face was leveled with Jimin, a small smile on his face, that same nervousness as the first time he asked this. It was something Jimin loved about Namjoon, that he could still be amazed and shy when they'd been doing this for so long.
“Have dinner with me later tonight?”
It was said low enough that Jungkook almost missed it.
Jimin just reached out and pushed back Namjoon's hair gently, “Of course, Joonie.”
Jungkook felt his blood boil.
Jungkook couldn't have stopped himself, even if he tried, “Seriously?”
Jimin and Namjoon looked over, alarmed and shocked at the malice in Jungkook's voice as if they hadn't expected him to say anything. And the truth was when this first started, Jungkook never did, never would have even dreamed of it. But Jungkook wasn't young and naive and silent anymore and he was tired of the blatant whispers in front of him.
He gestured with the phone in his hand, before tossing it quickly on the coffee table and turning his body to face them both more, annoyance lacing his tone, "Are you guys seriously doing this now? Planning a hook up right in front of me?"
The room went dead silent, no one daring to answer Jungkook. Jimin had the decency to look surprised and Namjoon paled at the mention of their arrangement like this, out in the open, the elephant in the room exposed to all seven of them for the first time. Jungkook dared to look around and noticed how panicked the other four were acting, the only one somewhat composed being Yoongi.
Finally, Yoongi cleared his throat, and the others turned their heads to him.
“Well,” he motioned to the whole group just the slightest bit, “It's not like it's really a secret anymore, is it? We all know.”
It wasn't like Yoongi was wrong, but the confirmation made Jungkook feel sick to his stomach. He chanced a glance over to Jimin who sat beside him, who despite being barely a few centimeters away avoided Jungkook's gaze and stared down at his hands in his lap.
Somewhere in the back of Jimin's mind, he knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time before Jungkook found out about everything. But it still made Jimin self-conscious and guilty in a way he didn't ever want to feel.
Jungkook cleared his throat, sitting straighter and bigger, feeling like he was challenging his hyungs, truly, for the first time in his life. But this monster that grew inside him called jealousy was threatening to devour him from the inside out and he couldn't take anymore without truly knowing where they all stood.
“I wanna call a family meeting,” Jungkook announced, clear and loud so all of them couldn't misinterpret it.
Jimin laughed in a way that was part in disbelief and amusement, the other self-deprecating as he finally glanced at Jungkook, “You wanna call a family meeting about my sex life?”
“It isn't just yours, is it?”
They stared each other down for a moment, Jungkook searching for answers in Jimin's eyes that the older didn't want to give up willingly. But Jungkook wasn't going to back down, not like before.
Namjoon was the first to move, going to walk over to sit in between Yoongi and Hoseok on the couch, taking his place in the middle of the room as the leader. Jin came from around the kitchenette area to sit down on the single seat while Tae didn't move from his spot at the bar, his head tilted to the ground as he held his neck with one hand, staring at nothing.
“Okay,” Namjoon gestured to Jungkook, “talk.”
Jungkook's mouth went dry, stage fright taking over for the first time in his life. A burning feeling felt like it was radiating from his chest upwards to get caught in his throat so he couldn't speak. All of his hyungs were waiting, and it made Jungkook wonder why he thought this was a good idea in the first place? Family meetings were reserved for conflict, for things that couldn't get resolved unless there was an open and honest conversation for the sake of the group and Jungkook felt like he was almost sullying it with his own personal emotional problems now.
He didn't even realize he was gripping his knees so tightly until he felt a soft hand pry his own away and hold on.
He looked to his side, and Jimin was avoiding his gaze but looking at their conjoined hands. “It's okay, Kookie.” Jimin's voice was soft and soothing, and Jungkook could hear the resignation and sadness in it and he hated how Jimin was comforting him when Jungkook was the one putting him on the spot.
Jungkook finally breathed, before pulling his hand away, the gesture more kind than he really felt he deserved right now.
"I just," he began, not quite sure how his speech was going to end yet, "I just feel like everyone has been trying to hide and keep secrets from me when everyone else knows what is going on. Like I know that this is something personal, but I feel like I'm either going crazy or the only one sane here. Like this isn't normal, is it? Like I know nothing about any of us is normal, that our situation is difficult and we don't spend time with anyone outside of the band. But sometimes I feel like I'm 13 or 14 again and you all are treating me like a child who can't handle the truth.”
Namjoon spoke up, “So what is it you'd like to know?”
And it came out of Jungkook's mouth before he could stop it, “Who all is sleeping with Jimin?”
Yoongi quipped back, almost immediately, “I think the real question you wanna ask is who isn't sleeping with Jimin?”
The room went silent again, giving Jungkook an answer when none of his Hyungs would.
Jungkook. Jimin wasn't sleeping with Jungkook. And Jungkook wished that was the only problem he had with it.
Jimin sighed, relaxing his body as he leaned back in the corner of the love-seat and further away from Jungkook to look at him, “Jungkook-ah, it's not like I meant to keep anything from you, or make any boundaries unclear between any of us.”
“Then what are they?”
Because inside him, Jungkook needed to know, need to know where everyone else stood, but more importantly where he stood. Because what was Jungkook to Jimin, in relation to everyone else? What was Jimin to everyone else?
Yoongi slouched forward, resting his arms on his knees and looked straight at Jungkook. He looked almost casual and comforting, like he was the first to treat Jungkook like an equal in all of this, “Jungkook-ah is right. If this is going to be something we all are a part of as a group, then it's important that we can all be open and honest with each other. Jungkook deserves to know just as much as everyone else. And we should all be clear and define what exactly it is we all have. Not just for us personally, but us professionally. The last thing we want is for this to affect our success and how we view each other. Here, I'll even go first.”
Jungkook simultaneously felt like he could kiss Yoongi for saving his ass and as if he could punch Yoongi for what he knew he was about to say. But now it was important that Jungkook could take it, the truth and honesty he called for. And as much as he didn't want to hear it, he needed to.
Yoongi scratched his head and yawned, sitting back up to stare at the ceiling and recall information, “Jimin and I started sleeping together I'd say... three months ago? I know I'm boring as hell and not a good participant but it's nice and it helps when I feel stressed out or upset. Very casual. No feelings,” He turned his head sharply to look over at Hoseok, “Okay, Hobi, you go next.”
Hoseok blinked for a second, confused, before pointing a finger at himself and sitting up, “uh... me?”
“Yeah, you,” Yoongi spoke, like it should be obvious, “You're the one who fucked up with them last, with that shit you pulled.”
Jungkook wondered if Hoseok had told Yoongi what happened. He chanced a glad over to Jimin who was staring at the floor, a somber look on his face. And Jungkook wished he was courageous enough to take his hand.
At least Hoseok had the decency to blush and look remorseful at the memory, glancing back and forth between Yoongi and Jungkook as if debating which one he'd rather be murdered by, “uh...” he laughed nervously, “Well, Jungkook-ah kinda already knows.”
Yeah, Jungkook totally did know, but he also wasn't going to give him an out either. He loved Hoseok, but he also hated what he did to Jimin, to both of them. And Jungkook and Jimin may have to forgive for the show to go on, that didn't mean they had to forget. So Jungkook said nothing, and instead, let Yoongi talk for him.
Yoongi didn't leave any room for debate and Hoseok accepted quickly that this was his fate.
"Well," he rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "It's not like there are any girls around, right? It got frustrating when hookups started getting impossible because there's no one you can trust. Anyone would be willing to sell a story about me getting with them, and it's not like we can have girlfriends. So I think I asked Jimin a little over a year ago when I heard about Namjoon and him if he'd be down and he said yes. It's just easier when it's someone you trust. And I love Jiminie, you know I love you Jiminie, but uh, not like that. And I'm so sorry, I really am. I know it's not good enough, but..."
Jimin let a small smile slip, heart still hurting at the bitter memories but also trying to forgive. As hard as it was, “I know, I love you too... Oppa.”
That even made Jungkook chuckle a bit.
“Jimin-hyung and I got drunk one night in America,” Taehyung spoke up, his voice deep and cutting through the silence once they had all settled down. He still sat on the corner of the room but all eyes were now on him. Though instead of gazing at the floor he was communicating straight with Jungkook, almost looking like there was an apology in it, “It was probably ten months ago, I'm not sure. Jimin and I were talking about past relationships and it just sort of happened. Hasn't happened that many times I think. Just whenever we share a room away from home and only when we're not too tired.” He looked at Jimin this time as he let out a sigh, “You're my best friend, Jiminie, you know? You're my best friend too, Jungkook-ah. All of you are my best friends. I didn't want this to complicate anything.”
Jimin pulled his left leg up to thread his fingers on his knee, turning to Taehyung with a comforting smile, “You didn't complicate anything, TaeTae. You're just fine. This is just a complicated situation in general, all of us are complicated in our own ways. Soulmates for life, yeah?”
Taehyung nodded, smiling. And Jungkook tried to smile too but he knew it wasn't as genuine. He didn't think of Taehyung sleeping with Jimin because the younger never flaunted it like his other hyungs, but it kind of made sense why Taehyung would always feel uncomfortable whenever Jungkook mentioned Jimin or when Jungkook confided once he was surprised whenever Taehyung chose to room with him now.
Jin sat up, crossing his arms as he looks over at Jungkook, “I guess I'll go next.”
And Jungkook's attention was fully on him now, alert in a way he didn't like to admit. Because Jin was the one who saw him jealous and angry, who first got irrationally under Jungkook's skin, and morbid curiosity was Jungkook's worst trait.
Jin raised an eyebrow at Jungkook, "Don't give me that look, it didn't happen as you think. I didn't even know about Jimin sleeping with everyone else until you thought you saw something that wasn't happening. Not that it was any of your business."
“So that night, when I saw you guys...?”
“Nope, I was just trying to comfort him because it got a bit emotional.”
Jungkook wasn't sure if that was supposed to be comforting or not, that he basically gave Jin and Jimin the idea to sleep together because he lashed out.
Namjoon spoke, more shock than their really should be in his voice at this point, “You've slept with Jimin?!”
Jin rolled his eyes and pointed at Namjoon accusingly, “Oh please, you're one to talk! You've literally been sleeping with him longer than any of us. How long has it been, huh? 2 years?”
And well, the way Namjoon shut up was the only answer he needed. Jungkook and Jimin exchanged looks, Jungkook silently asking if the tension in the room was because of him or them, and Jimin looking back at him with a strain in his neck and a guilty, “oops,” daring on his lips.
Yoongi interrupted, trying to ignore whatever turmoil was going on for the sake of the conversation, “Okay, great, so now we've all established we're all guilty of sleeping of Jimin at some point or another.”
“I'm not,” Jungkook said dumbly.
“Yeah, we know.” Hoseok spoke up, “We wouldn't be having this conversation if you were.”
“That's- that's not why I brought this up.” Jungkook defended weakly, bringing his hands up.
Jimin turned his head, “Then why did you bring it up?”
"I-" Jungkook panicked, feeling like a cat caught by its tail, "That's not- I just don't like feeling like I'm the last to know about these things or that you need to protect me or something."
Jimin sighed, not knowing how to talk about this, not wanting to talk about all of the fears, the feelings, the guilt, “It's not like I purposefully kept anything from you. It's just that my promiscuity isn't normally an appropriate topic of conversation. You're the youngest Jungkook-ah, and we all know you haven't had the time to think seriously about these things.”
Jungkook shook his head immediately, “That's not true. At all. I may be inexperienced but it's not like I haven't thought about who I am or what I want. I'm older than you when you and Namjoon first started... Well...”
Jimin had the decency to flush.
“Awww, our Jungkook's all grown up,” Hoseok grinned, “Wanting to have sex and 'discovering' himself.”
Yoongi looked over, rolling his eyes, “Seriously, Hoseok, why do you have to tease him? It's natural, and he's literally never been given the chance to do more than, what, make out with someone, maybe? He's been with us for literally all of his teen years, and it's not like we all can go out and fuck whenever we want anymore.”
Namjoon nodded, “I think the first time Jungkook and I ever talked about sex when we weren't all just joking around was when he caught me and Jimin.”
Jin pipped up, “I told him what I knew right after we debuted. It was so cute, Jungkook discovering girls for the first time.”
Jungkook's own face was now red, betraying his lack of knowledge. So maybe this wasn't the brightest idea Jungkook has ever had, but they were in too deep now to back out. “Guys, I'm not 14 anymore.”
Jimin sighed, almost as if he was conceding defeat, “Believe me, Jungkook-ah, I am well aware you're a grown man.”
“I mean how can you not,” Hoseok gestured towards Jungkook's whole body, “He's buff as shit now.”
“So what is it you would like for us to do, then, Jungkook?” Namjoon steered the conversation back on track.
“I don't know.” Jungkook sighed, frustrated to the point of wanting to pull at his hair, “Just don't flaunt it in front of me?”
Jimin frowned, looking down at the floor. Of course, this is what it comes down to. “I'm sorry that it disgusts you, Jungkook.”
“What?” Jungkook looked over, panicking and not wanting Jimin to ever feel like that. “No, no, no Jimin-hyung.” He grabbed onto Jimin's shoulder, meeting his elder's eyes in earnest and leaning closer as his brow furrowed in worry, “That's not it at all, Jimin-hyung. I don't think it's disgusting at all, you're not disgusting. You're never disgusting, I don't want you to think that or apologize for being who you are. You're perfect. It's not wrong, it's just-”
“It's just another thing that makes you feel like you're not a part of something, that you're younger than us and being treated differently.”
Taehyung's voice cut through once more, a gentle reminder that he was still there and listening to the entire conversation.
In part, Taehyung wasn't wrong. A part of himself was envious of everyone's experiences, that they all had the chance to explore and figure themselves out and learn. And Jungkook couldn't lie anymore and say he wasn't jealous over Jimin, that he didn't envy the relationship they all had with him. They could lie with him and explore things Jungkook had never been given a chance to. Though it wasn't because he was left out, that he wanted in, or how he so rudely put it before, wanted a turn. But how could he explain to the others that without them coming to the obvious conclusion, that Jungkook caught feelings? That Jungkook really couldn't handle it, that they all were right about him being too inexperienced to handle this without getting too emotionally involved?
“Jungkook,” Jimin spoke, gently, looking into his eyes as a part of his heart broke deep inside. He tried to distance himself from his own feelings for Jungkook's sake, in order to let the youngest come to terms with what Jimin knew from the very start, ever since The Incident, “It's okay if you're attracted to me. It's safe to say everyone here is at least a little bit if they are willing to sleep with me. You're just as much of a man with needs like the rest of us.”
Jungkook knew he was the sum of the people around him, a piece of everyone shining brightly in him. A reflection of the best, and worst, parts of his hyungs. And sometimes he got scared, that his feelings weren't even his own, but learned behavior from everyone else.
So how could Jungkook explain he was terrified his attraction and feelings for Jimin weren't just a development of his circumstances? That because of close proximity and not having options he'd developed this infatuation?
“It seems pretty obvious then,” Hoseok spoke as if it were that simple, and they all turned and looked at him.
“Why don't you just sleep with him, too?”
Deep down Jimin knew it was coming, that the conversation would lead to this, that the crusade he embarked on could only end when Jungkook was added to the ranks of lucky men that got a chance to leave their mark on Jimin's body.
That eventually Jimin himself would be viewed as a commodity.
As the others looked around, debating among themselves about what fate Jungkook and Jimin would have, the two in question stared at one another. The love seat brought them too close for comfort and not close enough. Jimin could see the many emotions flicker through Jungkook's eyes, he could almost name every one of them too: the shock, the curiosity, the nerves, the excitement, the hesitation, the want... How all of those feelings directed at Jimin used to make him feel good, but now just serve as a reminder of the one emotion that could never happen.
He supposed he should be at least grateful, that he could share himself like this. That he could be the one deemed good enough to take Jungkook's innocence. That Jungkook desired him like this. Even if Jungkook only viewed him as the others did.
"I mean," Namjoon spoke up, his voice airing on the hint of caution like he realized how ridiculous this all was, "I can't think of anyone else who could teach Jungkook better."
Yoongi nodded, “Jimin is very open and nonjudgmental, and I'm sure if Jimin doesn't mind me being a doormat he wouldn't mind you being inexperienced.”
Taehyung smiled, one too bright and happy for the conversation being had, “That way you can be included and not have to worry about any of us judging you.”
Jimin gave a weak laugh and shook his head, finally looking over at the other members and putting on a brave face. Because how could they know about it, the inner turmoil going on? How could they all realize just how much Jimin didn't want to do this? After all, Jimin never said no before. In fact, he instigated it most of the time. He's the one who pushed them, who got this to be such a normal part of their lives they could laugh and joke like this now. He's the one who thought it was cute Jungkook had a crush on him. He's the one who wanted this. It was his fault.
No backing out now.
Jimin closed his eyes for a moment and smiled down at his lap, “I'm glad you all are so confident in my skills that I have your approval to take our Kookie's virginity.”
Jungkook blushed, flustered and leaning in closer to Jimin as he panicked at the turn of events, “Jimin, don't say that...”
Jimin turned his head, hiding behind a confident smirk on his lips as he eyed Jungkook up and down, “Aww, don't worry Jungkook-ah. You couldn't have a better Hyung to teach you.”
“Oh my God,” Hoseok's voice got louder in excitement, “I mean there's six of us right? We could all work out a schedule and take turns. Namjoon on Mondays, I'll take Tuesday, Tae gets Wednesday, Jin on Thursday, Yoongi on Friday, and Jungkook could have Saturday.”
Jimin raised an eyebrow as he looked at him and deadpanned, “And on the seventh day he rested.”
Yoongi couldn't help the curl of his lips, “Well, I guess your body is a temple we all worship at.”
Now that got Jimin to laugh, his whole body pressed into Jungkook's side.
While Jungkook could agree Jimin was absolutely worth worshiping, this entire situation was completely out of his hands now. This wasn't how Jungkook wanted to sleep with Jimin, like it was some sort of job or right of passage, not in the slightest.
But how could he back out now?
Jin looked around at all the others, at Namjoon trying not to smile, at Hoseok laughing animatedly and Taehyung giggling, until he was back to Jimin and Jungkook. The only one who seemed honestly concerned. And Jimin knew why, that Jin knew the truth, that Jin was the only one who understood.
Jin sighed, "I don't think this is a good idea, guys."
Well, maybe something good could come from this.
Jimin kept hold of Jungkook's arm and curled into his side, lifting his head just enough to look at Jin deviously, "What part of the plan do you not like? That I sleep with Namjoon on Mondays?"
Jungkook literally sputtered, covering his mouth and trying to hide his laughter while Hoseok and Yoongi looked at each other over Namjoon excitedly. Taehyung was more subtle, hanging his head and shaking with silent giggles.
Namjoon and Jin stared at each other, both of them wearing matching blushes that dared to creep down their necks. Jin was frozen in shock while Namjoon's leadership tendencies were in override as he helplessly tried to defend him, “That's- Jimin-ah, that's silly, why would you even joke like that?”
Almost like Namjoon didn't want to let himself believe it.
So Jimin just blurted it out, utter word vomit as he held tightly onto Jungkook's bicep.
“Jin-hyung totally said your name once during sex!”
Jin stood as he tripped over his own feet, his face the utter description of guilty and betrayed, “PARK JIMIN.”
Yoongi flat out lost it, hysterical as he got up and walked over to the other end of the couch to hit Hoseok in excitement, and the two of them held onto each other as they fell to the floor laughing. Jungkook and Taehyung made eye contact with matching smiles and Jimin hid his head into Jungkook's arm as if that could save him from Jin's wrath.
Jin was ready to walk over and beat Jimin's ass when Namjoon's voice popped up, timid and shy and barely audible over Yoongi and Hoseok.
“You've thought about me?”
Jin froze, turning to chance a glance at Namjoon. Their leader looked up at Jin, his face having a small gentle smile, obviously flattered. Like he couldn't believe this was real life.
The eldest turned a scarlet red, letting out a frustrated whine as tried to storm off, tears obviously forming in his eyes, “Yeah, I have, Okay? Fucking laugh at me, alright! I know I'm fucking pathetic for thinking I'd even have a chance-”
Namjoon moved fast, his eyes wide in a panic as he stood up and walked over to grab Jin's hand, “No, no, Jin, it's fine, it's-”
They both paused and Namjoon's breath got caught in his throat as he stared down at their hands.
“More than fine.”
Yoongi looked up from his spot on the floor, holding onto Hoseok's hands for emotional support, “I cannot believe this is real life right now.”
Namjoon looked back up at Jin with a nervous smile, “I've thought about you, too.”
Jin blinked, “Oh. Oh.”
Jimin grinned, peaking at the two of them from behind Jungkook's arm.
Jin pulled his hand away, “You mean to tell me we've both been fucking Jimin when we could have been having sex with each other this whole time?!”
“Uhhhhh,” Namjoon stared, not a single one of his IQ points helping with this situation, “I didn't know you thought of me like that?”
“Oh my God for as smart as you are you're seriously the dumbest person I've ever met!”
“What is it, Taehyung?!!”
Taehyung slowly pointed over to the stove, “I think something's burning.”
“UGHHHHHHHHHH,” Jin threw his hands up in defeat as he stormed into the kitchen, “See I fucking forgot my fucking rolls because of you just why the hell did I have to fall in love with your dumb-ass this is all your fault!!!”
Namjoon grinned from ear to ear, “I love you, too.”
Jin dropped the entire pan on the floor.
Comments and Kudos are appreciated, they keep me going and I love to talk to my readers about the fic or writing in general! Thank you for reading, there should only be a few chapters left, but they will be a lot longer that's for sure. Love Yourself Xxx
Chapter 5: Part 5
The Calm. The Storm.
There's a lot of twists in this one, and I hope you enjoy it!!! Remember, it gets better, just hang on a little longer. There's not much to say besides we're getting so close to the end people! Just two more chapters after this one. And I guarantee you'll enjoy it as much as I did writing it.
Love you all and thank you so much for all the love and support.
Love Yourself. Xxx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“So are you really going to sleep with Jimin-hyung?”
Jungkook just sighed as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “I dunno, Tae.”
He was currently sat at the end of his bed, staring down at the floor while Taehyung sat beside him. The older had asked to stay the night with Jungkook. Sleepovers with Taehyung were honestly some of the best memories he had and he missed it a lot, so of course, he agreed. He wanted his best friend to be there for him when everything seemed like such a crazy whirlwind of events after tonight. But a part of him didn't want these questions, just wanted to forget about the unofficial contract he just proverbially signed up to become the replacement lover for both Jin and Namjoon now that they finally discovered their feelings.
Jungkook wished he could be that brave, to confess in front of everyone like they did. Not that Jimin gave them much of a choice... He imagined that must have been tough for Jimin, knowing after a while that he was sleeping with two people who thought they didn't have a chance with the other.
Honestly, he didn't know how Jimin did it, juggling all of them like this, and now adding someone as selfish as Jungkook into the mix. He admired it in a way, really.
Taehyung nodded, almost in understanding, “You know, I was really worried at first, too. About it changing things between us. But Jimin's really good about it not affecting things, and if anything I feel like we're even closer friends.”
Jungkook appreciated him trying to give reassurance, he really did, but it just wasn't helping.
Jungkook sighed again as he leaned back on his hands and stared up at the ceiling, “I know, Taehyung. It's just- I don't really know what I want anymore.”
Taehyung looked down at his hands for a moment, “I guess we really didn't ask you if it was what you wanted.”
No, you didn't, Jungkook thought bitterly.
Taehyung spoke again, “Is it?”
Jungkook turned his head.
“What you want?”
“I-” Jungkook played with the back of his ear, “Yes? Maybe? Not really, I don't know.”
“Well,” Taehyung spoke, “You shouldn't do anything you aren't sure of. None of us would force you to and certainly not Jimin.”
Jungkook nodded, scooting back on the bed so he could sit cross-legged, and Taehyung followed suit.
Jungkook worried the back of his cheek, knowing that Taehyung was waiting, that this was an open invitation to talk about his feelings in private away from the others. Away from Jimin. And honestly, he felt like if he didn't tell someone, he was going to explode.
“It's not that I don't wanna sleep with Jimin, I guess just- not like this?” Jungkook shrugged, avoiding Taehyung's gaze, “This all just seems really inorganic, like everyone put it as some sort of chore for Jimin to teach me. When I don't want Jimin to feel like he has to just because I've thought about it before. You all know what you're doing, but Jimin, he just... I've seen him before, twice now, having sex, and it was almost overwhelming.”
“Do you think you would feel differently if it was one of us instead?” Taehyung asked, moving closer to Jungkook so their knees were almost touching.
Jungkook was shocked to realize he never even thought of that as an option, of one of his hyungs besides Jimin sleeping with him. He flirted and played it up all the time with the others, but it never seriously crossed his mind that he might want to experience this with anyone else.
I've never wanted anyone else like this.
"...Yeah," He concluded after a while, "It would definitely feel different."
He noticed Taehyung's hand resting on his knee. Present. There.
“Well,” Jungkook swallowed, “It would certainly not be as much pressure.”
It wouldn't mean as much if it was anyone else.
He glanced down as he felt Tae's hand slide up, slowly, a tender heat radiating on his inner thigh even through the soft fabric of his sleepwear. Jungkook could feel a burning start in his stomach, through his chest, similar to how Jimin made him feel but also very different.
He looked up to meet Taehyung's eyes, and just when did he get so close?
Tae was staring him down, his brown eyes deep and hooded as he leaned in close, head tilted and barely centimeters away. He'd seen Taehyung look like this, but never at him , never so bold in this sort of setting where no one else could see. Never without some sort of pressure on them. He noticed Taehyung's mouth, the way he slowly curled his lips into a smirk before dragging his tongue across the bottom and bit down playfully and oh.
He could see how Taehyung could drive girls wild, looking like this.
As Taehyung drew nearer and put a large hand on his cheek, it was like Jungkook's eyes closed and his lips parted on instinct.
“Tell me if you want to stop.”
Jungkook wasn't sure yet, so he let Taehyung close the distance between them.
His lips felt soft, not delicate in any way but certainly well taken care of, and they slid easily against Jungkook's own. Taehyung was certainly a good kisser, slow and deep like his voice, not wasting any time in distracting him from thinking. He felt his tongue dart out, testing, asking, and Jungkook's body responded in kind, mouth opening even more as he felt the organ slide against his own.
Jungkook moaned, probably a bit louder than he should.
He could feel himself moving like his brain hadn't caught up with his body, and he leaned forward to get even closer to Taehyung and sat up on his knees. Taehyung's hand on his cheek slid lower and wrapped around his waist as if to guide him, pushing them even closer together so Jungkook was leading their kiss while he followed Taehyung's instructions.
Pretty soon Jungkook was in Taehyung's lap, arms draped around his neck and responding to their kiss in earnest, hard, breathless.
Tae let out a low groan into Jungkook's mouth, one that made him feel dizzy, almost lightheaded, and then a quick push at Jungkook's lower back and he was fully sitting on Taehyung, thighs on either side of him and crotch pressing up against Tae's body and, oh-
Jungkook gasped, throwing his head back at how good that felt.
He could feel Tae's other hand creeping up his sleep shirt, skilled fingertips tracing lightly against the lines of his abs all the way to his chest, making Jungkook's pulse skyrocket as Taehyung gave a ghost of a laugh against his neck, hot and breathy and damp.
“Your heart is beating so fast.”
Jungkook wanted to give a sarcastic response but his brain got cut off when he felt Taehyung's tongue and lips against his neck, right on the pulse point just below his jawline.
“Fuck,” he hissed, gripping onto the back of Tae's t-shirt for dear life. Jungkook's hips rolled against his body like a dance, like how he would in practice, instincts kicking in as he searched for that pleasure only closeness could bring. Then Taehyung was sucking, right on that spot on his neck and Jungkook could only groan as he swore his eyes rolled further into the back of his head even though they'd been closed this whole time.
Tae pulled back and moved the hand from under his shirt fast, grasping Jungkook by the jaw and forcing his head to tilt forward, commanding his attention.
“Tell me what you want.”
And then Jungkook opened his eyes.
But he didn't see cute, round cheeks, or the right color of dyed hair, or that sly smirk on big, plump lips he was used to daydreaming about. He didn't see the right shade of brown irises with those blown out pupils, or the correct round nose he always felt the urge to kiss.
I, I want...
And then it was over.
Taehyung just smiled at Jungkook's guilty expression, his breathing heavy and his teeth and tongue poking out in a way that made his grin impossibly wide. His eyes were kind, impossibly kind, and Jungkook could only watch dumbly as Taehyung wiped his mouth dry with the back of his hand.
Jungkook's arms fell to his sides, taking the moment to catch his own breath as he stared at Taehyung. He couldn't believe what had just happened. It was even more insane to think about what just almost happened.
But Taehyung didn't seem bothered in the slightest. In fact, he was giddy, excited, happy.
“You love him.”
Jungkook nodded so fast it was almost in time with his breathing. He couldn't even deny it anymore.
And then he hung his head, furiously wiping his face off with his shirt as Taehyung leaned back to give him room. Something in him felt so defeated, but the other part of him felt lighter than ever, the act of finally telling someone lifting some of the weight he'd been feeling for ages.
After Jungkook was done clearing his face from their shared saliva and small amount of sweat, Taehyung brought his hands up to touch him again. Only this time, one landed on his shoulder while the other caressed his face, thumb grazing back and forth on his cheek. He could feel the stark contrast with the way Taehyung handled him now, affectionate in a completely different manner than just moments ago.
Jungkook lifted his head and met the eyes of his best friend.
“Then tell him.”
Jimin wasn't upset about losing either Namjoon or Jin to each other. In fact, he was happier than he could possibly express. If he could help them get together as a way to make up for lost time, then it eased some of the guilt and burden he'd been feeling.
Seeing them in the morning, happy and together and more relaxed in a long time was totally worth it. Their dancing was more carefree and less rigid, their personalities more excited than normal. Even the other company people took notice and complimented them, which made the other five look at each other with devious smiles.
Jimin tried not to think about the other parts of yesterday's conversation. About how he basically agreed to sleep with Jungkook. It wasn't like it would be able to happen immediately, they were in the middle of a comeback of all things, but it still worried Jimin. Maybe if he didn't mention it the others would leave it alone.
Jimin walked over to the snack table and grabbed a bottle of water, opening it up and trying to remember not to chug it too fast. He took a deep breath after, thinking of how the choreography was just getting harder and harder when he noticed an all too familiar presence walk up beside him.
Jimin smiled, turning his head to look up and found the expression immediately fell off his face.
Jungkook stood beside him, drinking from his own bottle, his head tilted up and neck stretched out.
An unmistakable bruise right underneath his jawline on full display.
Jungkook closed the plastic bottle and gave an awkward smile, eyebrows raising in confusion as he stared at Jimin, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jimin breath caught in his throat, his heart sinking and his body feeling tighter than ever. Because Jimin knew exactly what that was, red and purple and the perfect size to be given by someone's mouth. A mouth that certainly wasn't his. There was such a flurry of emotions, of disappointment and shock and hurt and dread and just pure jealousy that Jimin couldn't even hide. The longer he stared the more worried Jungkook grew, concern clearly written on his face.
Jimin couldn't even speak, and instead raised a hand slowly to graze against the spot on his neck.
And Jungkook got it, gasping in realization and taking a step away, immediately covering the hickey from view.
“It's, It's not-” The youngest stuttered, his guilty expression lowering Jimin's spirits even more. But how could Jimin complain? Jimin has literally slept with probably more than half of the people in this goddamn room, how could he be upset at Jungkook choosing to sleep with someone last night who wasn't him? Jimin didn't deserve to take his virginity, he didn't deserve him in any capacity. How could he even think Jungkook would want him to take something like that and introduce him everything? Jimin didn't even want to do it like this in the first place, so why was he so upset?
Because even if Jungkook found him attractive, he was just too repulsive when Jungkook literally had so many other options.
Jimin gave a weak laugh, trying and failing miserably to play it off, “Looks like you don't need me after all.”
Jimin wasn't wanted or needed.
Jungkook immediately shook his head, “Jimin-hyung, no, that's not-”
“Oops, that was my bad actually.”
Jimin's sharp head turn almost popped his neck.
Taehyung was grabbing a bag of crisps, opening them casually and chewing like he didn't just say he fucked Jungkook last night. He reached over and poked the hand Jungkook was using to cover his hickey.
“Tae....” He sputtered, not knowing what to say, but Taehyung just grinned.
"I was just messing with him last night, Jimin. Thought I'd get him ready for the real thing, but he panicked and said he wanted to wait for you. Isn't that cute?"
Jimin didn't want to admit the relief he felt at knowing Jungkook hadn't slept with anyone. He tried processing the information, but all he could think about was one part.
He wanted to wait for you.
He looked over at Jungkook, the youngest now a blushing pink, looking at Jimin with a nervous expression and Jimin knew Taehyung wasn't lying.
Jimin smiled, eyes getting smaller and his voice softer, “You turned him down?”
Jungkook darted his eyes to Taehyung for help, but the other slipped away from the conversation as quickly as he came. He realized then, that Taehyung was trying to give him an opening, to let Jungkook tell Jimin before all of this that he was in love, and Jungkook would be a fool not to take it.
So Jungkook lowered his hand, sighing as he smiled at Jimin and nodded, nervous but sure, “Yeah. I thought about it last night and... I want it to be you. I can't think of it being anyone else.”
Now it was Jimin's turn to blush. His heart was giddy in a way that he couldn't describe. Even if Jungkook didn't love him, he wanted him. The pain was still there, but at least he had something. And shouldn't he just be grateful for that? That Jungkook openly admitted his attraction? So what if it wasn't the way Jimin wanted... He was lucky he could get anything at all.
Jimin would have to deal with it. He'd have to put his feelings aside. He'd have to accept the consequences of his actions.
“Well,” Jimin cleared his throat, looking up at Jungkook with a tight smile, “As your Hyung, I promise I'll take good care of you.”
Jungkook froze as he watched Jimin walk away. Did he not... Did he not get it? Or did he just not see him like that? Or was Jungkook not transparent enough?
Jungkook jogged over to where Jimin was getting ready to join Suga and J-Hope in front of the practice mirrors, and tried again, “I wanted to talk to you about something, actually.”
Jimin didn't even look at him, bending down to recheck the laces on his shoes, “Don't worry, I'll set everything up. We have some free time at the beginning of next month, right? I'll get us a hotel room so we don't have to worry about the others.”
“I know one that won't expose us or gossip, I used to use it when we weren't as known and the lady is super sweet." Jimin continued, not giving Jungkook a chance to explain or back out. Jimin knew that Jungkook would worry about the details, but honestly, he didn't want to talk about them. Jimin's done this plenty of times, he knew what to do.
“Jimin, that's not- that's not what I was going to say.”
He stood, tall, face tight and intimidating in a way as he looked into Jungkook's eyes, “Then what is it?”
Jungkook didn't know how else to put it, so he just said it, desperate to get Jimin to hear it, “I love you.”
Jimin just laughed, empty and hollow, a resigned look on his face as he barely smiled. He patted Jungkook on the arm, “I love you too, Kookie.”
Then he turned away and started dancing, leaving Jungkook empty and alone with his thoughts.
Jimin obviously didn't get what he meant, and it infuriated him to no end. How fucking blind could you get? What was so impossible about that? Or did he just think he loved him in the way he loved the others? It wasn't fair. It was like Jimin wasn't even willing to listen.
Jimin didn't really avoid Jungkook the rest of the week, per se, but he certainly didn't go out of his way to talk to him. The youngest seemed kind of sad or nervous, which was understandable as the day went by and the unofficial time frame grew closer and closer. But if he had any second thoughts, or if Jimin would ask if he was sure, Jungkook was always quick to say yes, nodding and telling Jimin that he was positive. That Jungkook didn't want anyone else.
Which, well, was one of the best and worst feelings for him. Ever since their first talk Jungkook's hickey had faded, the one mark that could have told a completely different story, one where Jungkook would choose someone else. It disappeared like it never even happened. But Jungkook always looked like he was on the verge of exploding as if he was frustrated and didn't know what to do. Jimin would try and give him a comforting smile, but it only seemed to make it worse.
Why did everything feel so heavy now? Why couldn't Jimin just treat this like everyone else?
Pretty soon, Jungkook would be just like everyone else. He would have to get used to it.
He looked up to see Yoongi emerge from the hotel bathroom, his old man pajamas resting on his frame in such a cute way it made Jimin smile. He took off his headphones and stretched in the bed he was sleeping in for the night, and his voice had a small yawn to it, “Yes, Yoongi-hyung?”
The older walked towards him and sat down on the other side of the bed. He twisted his body just enough so he could look at Jimin beside him, and asked something that caught him off guard more than it should have.
“Are you okay?”
Jimin blinked and sat up straight. "...Yes? Why do you ask?"
Yoongi just sighed and got into bed, sitting up against the bed-frame as he pulled the covers onto his lap. They were currently in Japan for an awards show, and it had gone well... for the most part.
Jimin may have felt like he was distracted the whole time, but he performed and got through it. That's what mattered, right? Yeah, he felt like he was letting the others down, and that he was letting fans down but...
He felt like the past two weeks had just been him in a constant state of survival.
Yoongi raised a hand to run through Jimin's newly dyed locks, this time a natural brown. “You just seem really... I don't know, out of it lately.”
Jimin shrugged, looking down at his hands. “I'm just thinking too much.”
Jimin didn't answer; instead, he fell over to rest his head on Yoongi's shoulder.
“Is it Jungkook?”
Jimin let out a heavy sigh and nodded into Yoongi's arm. Of course, Yoongi could tell.
“Well, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want too.” Yoongi started, moving his arm so he could pull Jimin closer and wrap it comfortingly around his waist. “But if you don't want to go through with it, then don't.”
“It's not...” Jimin began, but couldn't find the right words to finish. Because honestly, he didn't want to sleep with Jungkook. He'd gone all this time, flirting, teasing, hinting, flaunting, only because he never thought it would get this bad. He didn't expect to catch feelings, to want to do all of those things and more, to think about a life that just wasn't possible to have. Jungkook wasn't someone Jimin could ever have, not completely. Jungkook was to be shared with the world. Jungkook belonged to this world. And Jimin? Jimin was just along for the ride. Jimin would be a lot of firsts for him, but he would never be his last.
He'd be around for now, like he was for the others. So Jungkook could worship at his Temple until he finds another religion.
Jimin felt more and more like the empty corridors of a Church every day.
Yoongi pulled him in, fully this time, so Jimin could sit with his legs across his lap and lean on Yoongi's shoulder and chest. He held on Jimin by the waist, enough pressure so that Jimin knew he was there. “I thought so...”
Jimin didn't even have to ask to know what Yoongi was talking about. He knew of Jimin's feelings. Of course, he knew.
“Jimin, I know that you feel like you have to change yourself in order to make everyone else happy, but believe me when I say Jungkook wouldn't want you to be anyone but yourself. He's even told me before he wants to be a better man; for you.”
Jimin raised his head and was greeted by a sweet smile, one that made Yoongi's adorable cat-like eyes squint in a special way that never failed to comfort him.
“For... me? Why?”
“Why don't you ask him?”
Jimin thought about it for a second, shrugging and relishing in the way Yoongi played with his hair. He knew Yoongi was right, but he didn't want to think about it, not now. Because even if at one point Jungkook had said that and actually meant it, there was no telling if he still viewed Jimin in such a positive light.
He was too afraid of what the answer might be if he ever asked.
Yoongi just held him close until Jimin was ready for bed, kissing the top of his head, his cheek, his shoulder, every now and again.
Jungkook didn't think he could ever get used to it. The thrill, the high, the nerves of performing on stage in front of thousands of people he owed his entire life and career to. He didn't want this to ever end when moments like this happened. He never wanted to imagine what it would be like to not have these six people in his life. He just finished his verse, nailing even better than normal, not having to worry about insane choreography and just being able to enjoy the moment.
He blew a kiss at the audience and waved before turning back around to watch J-Hope's part, and it was like the entire arena went insane as Jungkook watched what was going on.
J-hope was rapping, vocals on point and distinct as always, and also directed towards Jimin. His mic in one hand and the other holding Jimin's head up high, wiggling his eyebrows and pulling him close while the crowd screamed and Jimin went along with it. He was trying not to giggle, letting J-Hope act as if he was singing to him and grinning into his eyes. Then Jimin placed a hand on J-hope's waist. And the rational part of Jungkook's brain knew better, that literally, every single one of them acted like this all time for fun, that Jungkook probably had similar moments with Tae or Jimin or literally any of the others.
But for a moment, it was like he was back in their bedroom and not on a stage, watching Jimin get taken by someone who wasn't him. And that Monster grew in him again, Jealousy and Rage swirling in his throat and stomach and starting to show himself as he walked over to the two of them and Jimin traded off verses.
Jimin gave once final grin to J-Hope before turning his attention over to Jungkook, his vocals never wavering but his eyes telling a completely different story. And the Monster didn't even try to stop from rearing his ugly head, taking control of Jungkook and making him get even closer, eyes big and radiating a flame that looked nothing like comfort but instead a blaze. He grabbed Jimin by the wrist and pulled him closer, tugging so hard there was a hiccup in his bright voice.
If Jimin's smile fell off his face for a moment, no one could tell but Jungkook.
The older composed himself enough for the two of them, deciding to play it off with him as well. He brought his free hand gently up to cup his cheek and smiled sweetly, singing his lyrics to Jungkook. And then Jin took over and he was laughing as he lowered his mic. He commanded Jungkook with the hardness in his eyes for the younger to smile too.
And then he remembered where he was at, and Jungkook ripped a choked laugh from his vocal cords for the sake of the show as he let go.
Jimin could kill him.
He was furious, that Jungkook would pull a stunt like that, in front of their fans, in front of the world. Jimin could barely keep focused, could barely sing as he saw the obvious jealousy and lust in Jungkook's actions dance for him on stage. Jimin had felt like he was shaking with nerves, like Jungkook had captured him and wouldn't let go. If he saw it, then everyone else saw it too, it must be on cameras, on cell phones, on the internet by now for fuck's sake. Their staff would tell them later they don't mind the teasing but not to take it too far, that it seemed just a little too real to be okay next time. It was like Jungkook had no sense of preservation, no understanding that not only did his actions affect everyone around him but his own image as well.
The others were all in the back room after the performance. V cried out as his arm got violently massaged, RM and Jin were whispering something to J-Hope in hushed voices, Suga was already passed out on the love seat... Jimin made eye contact with an assistant who looked as if she was ready to give a harsh lecture to Jungkook.
Jimin stormed over to their youngest, hoping that if he caused enough of a scene he could spare Jungkook from any other punishment.
“We need to talk,” he demanded, letting his own blood boil to convey to the everyone around them just how displeased he was, “now.”
Jungkook looked like a deer, wide-eyed and startled, and he harshly pressed his tongue against his cheek. "Fine."
And before RM could do something stupid like call a family meeting in front of cameras, Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the arm and dragged him out of the room, pulling him along and walking fast to find an empty room in the stupid convention enter.
He could hear Jungkook's voice over the clatter of every employee who walked by and stared at them, but he didn't stop. Not until he noticed an 'employees only' sign written in both Japanese and English and decided to take what little privacy he could get. He opened the door and threw Jungkook inside, showing every bit of the power he developed over the years and locked the door behind him.
There was a moment where he allowed Jungkook to take in their surroundings, a rather large supply closet with a dim automatic light switch, discarded buckets and cleaning supplies littering the built-in shelves on the back wall. They probably had less than two meters of space to work with.
Jimin hadn't been in a closet with another boy like this since his trainee days.
Jungkook finally looked at him, “What the hell is your problem?”
Jimin seethed, “No, what the hell is your problem, Jeon Jungkook!”
Jungkook just stared, hard and shocked like he couldn't believe this was happening.
Jimin continued, voice probably too loud but not caring at the moment, “What the hell were you thinking, pulling a stunt like that on stage, in front of everyone? Can you seriously not separate yourself from our work? You acted like an utter idiot.”
It was Jungkook's turn to get angry, stepping closer, “You were acting like that with Hoseok too, don't fucking pretend he's any better.”
Jimin let out a dry, short laugh and shook his head, “No, the difference between Hoseok and you is that he knows when something is for show and can play around. We all do that kind of shit, including you. Don't deny it. You know that's what we do, what all of us have always done. And the thing is, the rest of them can handle it. But because you're some horny teenager whose wants to be a big boy and fuck me like everyone else you think it's okay to make eyes at me and get jealous like you own some sort of claim on me? You can't act like that, Jungkook, none of us can ever act like that. You're seriously going to destroy any chances at being solo once we're through, you're going to fucking ruin the image that's been built up for you. All for what, Jungkook? To satisfy a temporary obsession built on cabin fever?”
Jungkook choked on his own air, breathing heavily and looking down at Jimin with tears in his eyes. And even if Jimin wanted to, he couldn't take it back. Jungkook was absolutely crushed. It was like Jimin just shattered every hope and dream and Jimin hated it, hated himself, hated how they were falling apart, hated that Jimin had to be the one to wake Jungkook up from this sex-filled haze.
Jungkook finally spoke, eerily quiet, voice shaking, “Do you really think that? That none of this matters to me? That you don't matter?”
Jimin just scoffed, shrugging as he stared down at his feet, “I know so.”
Silence filled the empty space between them, heavy and thick before Jungkook stepped even closer and declared with a wet and desperate plea to his voice.
He pushed Jimin by his shoulders, cornering him until Jimin's back slammed against the wall, invading his space and forcing Jimin to look up. It was all so fast, too fast for Jimin to keep up, and Jungkook's grip on him hurt as he leaned in and slammed their lips together.
It was bruising. It was anything but gentle. It was anything but shy. Nothing like how he imagined their first kiss would be. But Jimin responded in kind immediately, like his body knew to satisfy, to accept anything Jungkook would willingly give.
Their lips moved fast and neither wasted any time opening more so their tongues could get involved, teeth clashing as they fought for dominance over one another. Jimin's hands went to grip the back of Jungkook's dress shirt in tight fists and push their bodies closer together, kissing violently. Jungkook didn't hesitate and responded by lowering his own to grope Jimin's ass, finally getting to cop a feel, squeezing and feeling like he was in heaven when Jimin let out a loud moan into his mouth. He bit Jimin's bottom lip, pulling it in, sucking and this time he was whining, crying out when he threatened to break the skin.
And then his feet were in the air and off the ground, Jungkook picking him up like he was nothing and supporting him just under the curve of his ass. Jimin wrapped his legs around his waist on instinct, hugging him tightly to help support.
Neither could tell how long this lasted. It could have been minutes, seconds, hours, pressed up against each other and acting as if they had both been starving for years and didn't have everything to lose. Jimin grabbed at him, hands moving to press their faces even closer together, taking in every last drop he could, rolling his hips just a small amount and drawing out Jungkook's own high pitched sounds.
Jimin was sweeter than Jungkook could have ever imagined, warm and hot and addicting in a way he'd never known possible. Just the feeling of Jimin pressed against him and responding so eagerly drove him absolutely insane, spurring him on, desperate at this point for Jimin to see, to understand, to believe him. To convince himself this meant more than just a stolen moment.
They were forced apart finally when the burning in Jungkook's arms hurt too bad to ignore.
When Jungkook let Jimin down it was like his legs forgot how to function. He would have collapsed if not for the younger supporting him, arms holding him up by the armpits like a child as he bent himself slightly to Jimin's height. Jimin had no choice but to lean against Jungkook's forearms, his grip tight enough to bruise as he breathed heavily. Jungkook just stared at him, face so close he could go cross-eyed, looking at Jimin with big eyes filled with hope as he waited to hear what happened next.
After an eternity, Jimin lifted his head, breath still shaky, pupils blown out and full lips shining a deep red.
Completely wrecked and defeated.
Jungkook blinked, confused, “What?”
Jimin turned his head and coughed before continuing, “Next Thursday. We'll be back home by then. We'll go somewhere and you'll finally be able to get this out of your system.”
Jungkook's heart sank.
He let go of Jimin so quickly the older didn't have time to adjust, and his body slid against the wall until he was on the ground. Jungkook backed the few feet he was allowed and stared, disbelief and shock turning his body rigid and cold as he took in the sight of Jimin, slumped against the wall and completely spent.
“You either have absolutely no idea how much you mean to me, or you just don't care.”
Jimin didn't even have the chance to respond before Jungkook was slamming the door behind him.
It took Jimin a good ten minutes to get his barrings, the events of what just occurred replaying in his mind over and over again and still leaving him just as confused as before. He felt drunk, high, maybe both, completely and utterly exhausted... But more than anything, he felt so hollow he didn't know if there was anything left.
He laughed, realizing that the others were probably looking for him by now and he might want to adjust himself before being found ravished in a janitorial closet.
And his body carried him on autopilot, stumbling as he stood, and his grip on the shelf accidentally slipped and pulled it loose. The ammonia and bleach and cleaning products fell to the ground and Jimin laughed.
He supposed this is what Jin meant when he said sometimes a person is so beautiful you learn to let them go.
He made it to the door finally, and the moment he stepped outside he could hear Namjoon's commanding voice from the other end of the hallway.
“Jiminie? We've been looking for you, everyone is already- what the hell happened?”
The switch from irritation to worry and concern was so Namjoon it made Jimin smile.
He looked up, the tears falling from his face involuntarily and blubbering, and Namjoon sprung into action so fast Jimin didn't have to say a word.
Jimin loved him so much. He could see why Seokjin was in love with him.
Namjoon took a black face mask from his bag and the snapback off his head and placed them both on Jimin, trying to cover his face as much as possible before sliding his own jacket off and forcing Jimin's arms through the sleeves. Then he threw the hood over his head and guided him along, arms protectively placed around his waist. Jimin was glad he didn't have to look up, didn't have to see the judgment or curiosity or concern or pity or envy he knew everyone would look at him with.
And then they were outside where sleek black cars were waiting for them, almost home free.
“Who do you want?”
Jimin knew that 'no one' wasn't a viable option, so he just shrugged noncommittally, not trusting his voice.
And like a godsend, he heard a car door slam open and Yoongi's deep voice through the exhaust and engines.
“Namjoon-ah, over here. It's just me.”
Their leader handed him over quickly, Yoongi taking his place seamlessly and opening the car door for him to usher into the back. His Hyung joined him on the other side, slamming the door shut and the only thing louder than Jimin's crying was Yoongi's threatening and cold voice towards the driver.
“If you even think about telling anyone about this I will personally make sure you're never able to hold another job ever again.”
And then he was pulling Jimin into his lap, one hand on his waist and the other taking off his hat to run fingers through his locks. As if they were in their hotel room again and not in a car with tinted windows in front of some older man who probably secretly loathed their youth and status over him. He pressed comforting kisses into his hair, allowed Jimin to curl up into a fetal position across his legs, and didn't say another word until Jimin's tears dyed down halfway through the ride.
Jimin finally stopped crying after 30 minutes in traffic. Not because he felt like it, but because there were no more tears left. And Yoongi waited another full minute before he dared to speak.
Jimin sighed, voice so quiet he wasn't sure if Yoongi could hear him through the mask, "not really."
And then Yoongi brought his hands up to take it off and placed one on each cheek. He forced Jimin to look at him.
“No, you're not okay. But you will be.”
And his voice was so firm, so sure, Jimin almost believed him.
Jimin waited 24 hours. Then he waited for 48. By hour 72, he had to come to the conclusion that Jungkook would not be apologizing for what happened. He wondered just how he could have fucked up so badly.
None of the boys were taking sides, but there was a severe uneasiness as they all finished up their promotions in Japan and were about to head home. And Jimin wanted to say he was really impressed with how Jungkook could smile and laugh with him and keep airs in front of cameras, but act so distant once no one was looking. He started replaying everything in his head, trying to think of why and how he fucked up so bad. And he always cut back to those words over and over, listening to them and trying to see what he could do.
You either have absolutely no idea how much you mean to me, or you just don't care.
Well, no matter what Jungkook meant, Jimin was probably too late.
He was sitting in his hotel room, getting everything packed before they sneaked out to their flight at 3 am when he heard a knock on his door. He set his shirt down on the bed before walking over to open it.
It was Seokjin smiling big and bringing in two bowls of rice with unagi. Jimin's stomach turned, “I'm really not hungry, hyung.”
Seokjin just made his way further into the room, sitting the two bowls down and putting his hands on his hips, "A little birdie told me you haven't eaten since 5 am, and it's almost midnight!"
Jimin pushed his hair back, a little embarrassed to be called out. “Who said that? Yoongi?”
Jin's edges got softer, “Jungkook.”
Jimin looked down, feeling his face flush. Of course, Kookie noticed. Even if they were fighting, Jungkook would always notice.
Seokjin was already getting into one of the bowls and using chopsticks to grab a bite and walked over to Jimin, holding it out to his mouth expectantly. Jimin took it, mumbling a weak. “Thank you,” and chewed slowly.
Jin sighed, looking down at his dongsaeng with a sort of worry Jimin knew too well, “Namjoon-ah told me how he found you, you know.”
Jimin sighed, “What did he say?”
“That you literally came out of a supply closet so out of it and crying he felt like his heart was breaking.”
Jimin nodded in confirmation as he let Jin feed him another bite. Then he walked over to the bed and sat down, Jin following close beside him.
"I asked Jungkook what happened when he got to the car."
Jimin went rigid, worry pooling in his stomach at the thought of the others finding out, "And what did he say?”
“He didn't go into details, but he said you guys got into a fight. Said that you told him some really hurtful things. That you obviously don't care about him.”
“True, I know,” Seokjin interrupted, “I know you care about him. But if you did say something cruel then you need to show him you care about him and that you regret it. Because he was crying, too.”
Jimin just tilted his body so he could rest his head on Seokjin's broad shoulders. His hyung then collected another bite for him to eat and he took it, his stomach finally growling in the realization that yes, he was hungry.
He didn't want Jungkook to cry, didn't want him to be hurting. Especially not because of him. But this...
“I don't know, Hyung. Maybe it's better this way.”
There was a deep silence as Jin thought hard about what to say next.
“Jimin, I was wrong.”
He sat up and met Seokjin's eyes, serious and almost regretful. The eldest set aside the food onto the table in front of them and then turned his full attention to Jimin.
“Jungkook will be loved by the world. He will always belong to the world. But I was wrong when I said sometimes a person is so beautiful we learn to let go.”
Jimin felt his breath get caught in his throat.
“Sometimes a person is so beautiful we have to learn how to fight for them.”
Jimin turned and looked at Hoseok, eyes wide and his over-dramatic friend clung onto his arm. They were all walking through the long hallway to the plane, about to board for their flight back to Korea.
“I have a super duper, very important favor I need to ask you!”
Jimin raised an eyebrow, “What is it?”
“Could you pleeeeeeeeeeeeease switch seats with me? Yoongi told me you guys were sitting beside each other and I have something I need to talk to him about?"
Jimin just chuckled, shaking his head, “What is it?”
“Well, It's about my mix-tape I'm working on. So pleaseeeeeee.”
Jimin just sighed and stopped walking, holding out his plane ticket for Hoseok to take.
Hoseok clapped his hands and bowed comically as he took it and exchanged it for his, “Thanks so much Jimin-ah! I owe you.”
And then he ran off to go inside the plane, carry on luggage bumbling behind him. Jimin just sighed and looked down at his ticket number, and once he realized what it said his throat clenched.
He walked onto the plane and looked a few rows down to where he would be sitting, and sure enough, there was Jungkook, sitting in the aisle seat.
Jimin stared and sighed, walking forward and accepting his fate. Jungkook didn't look up from his phone until Jimin stood right before him and cleared his throat.
Jungkook looked up, eyebrows high and a little hesitant.
"My seat," Jimin gestured to the one beside him, "I need to get to it."
Jungkook just nodded and stood up to let him in, gaze avoiding him the entire time as Jimin shuffled his way into the seat.
He dared to glance over at Jungkook as he sat back down, but the youngest wasn't even trying to look at him, ignoring him for in favor of the game he was playing. It was so awkward and tight and Jimin just hated it, hated they were like this after a few mean words and an ill-timed kiss. Jimin knew he would have to say something, do something to make this right.
Because yeah, Jungkook left him there. But Jimin was the one who pushed him away.
“Jungkook-ah, I really hate this.”
His voice was tired and quiet, honest and raw in a way he hadn't been in a long time. Jungkook didn't look at him, but he did pause his game and lowered it into his lap. A signal that he'd be listening if Jimin would continue.
“Put your seat belt on,” Jungkook spoke, voice distant but gentle, still looking after him even when mad, “The plane is about to take off.”
Oh, so that's why he turned his phone off.
Jimin obeyed and buckled in, and they fell back into silence for the few minutes it took to get settled in. When the turbulence subsided and the chatter went down and the seat belt light went off, Jimin immediately took his off and turned to look at Jungkook again.
The younger was already playing on his phone again.
“You don't have to talk,” Jimin began and pushed back his hair again, nervous, feeling like he was absolutely winging this, “But I miss you. And it was stupid of me to try and push you away because I was... I was scared. For you. I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later on.”
Jungkook finally closed out of his game and locked his screen. He turned his head and looked at Jimin, and okay. That was a good sign.
Jungkook took in at Jimin properly, for the first time since he forced that kiss and it backfired so spectacularly. He took in the sunken cheeks, the dark bags under his eyes, the way he just seemed so... defeated.
He wanted to kiss the purple of his eye better, wanted to reach over and play with his hands, wanted to pull him closer and let him sleep.
He wanted to apologize, even though he felt so hurt and jaded from Jimin's words Jungkook couldn't sleep for days either.
“Jungkook-ah,” Jimin met his eyes, pleading, and turned his whole body towards Jungkook, “I shouldn't have said what I did. It was cruel and mean. You are a person, you have feelings. You mess up and slip up and get back up and shrug it off like all of us. And I- I care. I do.”
Jimin took Jungkook's hand in his, holding it with both and squeezing in comfort. “You mean everything to me. That won't ever change.”
Jungkook was speechless and stared, wide-eyed at Jimin and his honesty. His heart swelled and his eyes started burning, and it was getting to be too much to look at him. Jimin had completely called him out, blasting him for every single fear and insecurity Jungkook had about falling for him. And it tore him apart, having all of those thoughts confirmed, to hear that come from Jimin himself. But now, hearing the remorse, hearing the softness in his voice, the affection as he told Jungkook this...
Jimin would always be his weakness. He would always succumb to him.
Jimin's lips looked so soft, so plump, and the welling of emotion inside of him combined with the memory of how those soft pillows felt pressed against him made Jungkook want to kiss him so bad it took every fiber of his being refraining from doing so.
He gulped, “...Even if I'm just some horny teenager?”
"Oh, Jungkook .” Jimin shook his head, regret even heavier, “Oh Jungkook-ah, you're so much more than that. You're way better than that. I was completely wrong to call you that. I- I'm so sorry.”
And Jungkook couldn't take anymore, not after such a sincere apology. He pulled Jimin close and held him, the extra room from first-class seats not helping the awkward angle much but still feeling the closeness and relief. He took in the texture of his hair, the small, familiar waist, warmth radiating and just the recharge he got from holding him like this... It made the last 3 days worth it.
And Jimin felt it too, the relief wash over him like the waves on a beach, the feeling of Jungkook's big hand on the back of his head as he buried his face into his chest. Jungkook smelled so good, like eucalyptus and sandalwood with a hint of vanilla, fresh and earthy and like home. And he would take it, the good and the bad. He would take anything he could get. And he would give, give this boy so much until there was nothing left. He didn't care anymore if it hurt. It'd be worth it.
When they pulled apart they both wore matching smiles, Jimin grinning so wide his eyes crinkled and Jungkook smiling so big his teeth poked out. Jimin fell back into his seat and adjusted his bangs, clearing his throat and Jungkook just continued to stare, starstruck at how much more life he seemed to have just from a simple hug.
“Is this why you switched with Hoseok,” Jungkook finally asked after a moment, “so you could talk to me?”
"Well," Jimin scratched the back of his ear, "I was planning on talking to you when we got back. Hobi said he wanted to sit by Yoongi, though. That he wanted some advice on his mixtape or something. But I bet that was just a lie to get us to make up faster."
Jungkook chuckled. “I bet you he's not even talking to him and is just watching us.”
Jimin turned his whole body to look 3 rows down and met eyes with Hoseok who was blatantly staring. Their Hyung quickly gasped and looked away, too obvious about being caught and dramatically whispered something to a bored looking Yoongi in a poor attempt to look busy. Said rapper's eyes went wide and his pale face reddened, and Yoongi wasted no time hitting his arm hard and glared. God, Jimin wanted to know what he just told Yoongi to get that sort of reaction out of him.
Jimin turned back around and slid into his seat, grinning over at Jungkook, “You were right, he just wanted to stare at us.”
Jungkook shook his head but smiled anyway, yawning as he leaned more into the aisle to stretch.
Jimin bit his lip, looking at Jungkook. “You can sleep if you want. Your hyung doesn't mind, you know.”
Jungkook shook his entire body and made some sound effect with his lips, like a cross between an engine and some kind of weird bird. Jimin giggled. “Too cute.”
Jungkook just wiggled his eyebrows and gave the silliest look he could.
After a few more minutes of content silence and Jimin looking out the window feeling better and better, he decided that now was better than ever to ask.
“So,” he drawled out, and when he turned his head over to Jungkook he was met with his eyes already on him. The stare wasn't hard or cold; In fact, it was warm, almost soft, intense in a weird way Jimin didn't even think he'd ever been looked at before. It caught him off guard, it made him blush, it made his heart beat faster in a weird and giddy excitement Jimin hadn't felt in such a long time he almost forgot what it was like. It didn't help they were sitting so close.
“Yes?” Jungkook whispered, and Jimin thought about how it felt, to kiss him, to hold him tight, pressed together. And he wanted to ask, this time properly.
He'd deal with the consequences later.
Jimin continued finally, eyes darting lower to his lips before meeting Jungkook's eyes again with a small, flirty smile, “Would you like to go somewhere with me this Thursday night?”
Jimin knew how sweet and seductive he sounded, enunciating in that special way and using that exclusive tone of voice just for Jungkook. And the younger flushed as he realized the implications of Jimin's words.
Maybe this wasn't exactly how he wanted this to go, but Jungkook would make it work. Even if nothing happened physically, he wouldn't stop until he got Jimin to understand. He wouldn't stop trying to get through to him.
Jungkook would do anything it took to show Jimin he loved him now.
So he nodded, eyes raking down Jimin's body. “I would love to.”
“Mmm,” Jimin practically moaned as he winked, and God, Jungkook felt every inflection of it radiate to his core.
And after awhile Jungkook's yawns grew more and more frequent. Jimin sprung into action, adjusting himself accordingly so that he would lean against the wall and Jungkook could lay against him and sleep. He wrapped an around him and pulled him close to his chest, and it wasn't long before he was fully asleep. Jungkook's cute bunny snores made him feel happy, and Jimin imagined what it would be like to be like this for eternity.
When they both woke up at the end of the flight, the other five had taken enough photos of them that Jimin and Jungkook wouldn't have been able to get rid of the blackmail if they tried.
Please let me know what you think!!! Your comments really keep me going and I would love to have an open discussion with you all. This fic is my baby, and when it's finally over I don't think I'll know what to do with myself!!!
Chapter 6: Part 6
I promised you guys a happy ending, and It's just about here people!!! Please enjoy this chapter and the absolute cheese-fest that is two boys in love.
One last short, final part to be added tomorrow to wrap this whole story up. Thank you so much!!! and Remember, Love Yourself Xxx.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Take a right at this next light.”
Jungkook obeyed Jimin's instructions carefully and tried to ignore his heart beating straight out of his chest and onto the dashboard. They were driving only thirty minutes away, but it was almost in the exact opposite type of neighborhood Jungkook had gotten used to seeing the past few years, and Jungkook shouldn't be even driving anyway but he was better at it. Part of him didn't want to judge, and they both were covered in face masks and hats, so Jimin's freshly bleached hair was out of view. But he was hyper-aware of how calm Jimin was, looking down at the GPS on his phone and back over to Jungkook. He then noticed Jimin lean over and reach across the center divider to place a hand on his knee and-
Oh God, this was actually happening.
“It's this hotel up here, the one with the gated lot.”
Jungkook took in the place that apparently had been Jimin's go to hook up spot for a long time, and morbidly wondered just how many people he'd brought here in the past. It was small and quaint, some sort of hole in the wall hotel in a dingy area but at least it was gated from the rest for privacy and looked clean. As he pulled up into their spot, the nerves and questions danced around in his head. He knew it was rude to ask about past lovers, and knowing Jimin had at least five back in the dorm didn't do anything to ease his mind about Jimin's vast experience and his own lack thereof.
He turned off the car and took a deep breath, trying to get himself to relax before looking over at Jimin.
Jimin just smiled, encouraging and comforting, warming up Jungkook from the inside out. But Jimin himself felt like his heart was beating fast, like everything that they went through these last few years accumulated to this moment. There was some sort of melancholy acceptance coursing through Jimin's veins, but he refused to let it take over completely. He took off his seat belt and brought a hand up to dance behind Jungkook's ear. “You nervous?”
Jungkook just laughed, tilting his head to the side in a nervous tick and took off his own seat belt off quickly. The sat there for a moment in silence, and Jimin played with his hair in a comforting manner, soft as sweet, before lowering his hand to take Jungkook's.
“I promise I'll take good care of you, my Kookie.”
Jungkook pressed his tongues against the side of his mouth, thinking as he looked down at their intertwined fingers. Jimin's hand was so much smaller than his, so cute, so soft... And then he looked back up at Jimin, and his eyes held a determination that made Jimin's heart flutter.
“No, I promise I'll take good care of you, Jimin.”
Jimin was glad the mask was hiding the big smile and blush on his face. Jungkook really knew how to turn whatever he said back on him in tenfold. “Let's go then, okay?”
Jungkook sighed deeply and nodded, mentally preparing himself and they both got out of the car. He immediately went into the trunk and grabbed both Jimin's overnight bag and his own, carrying one in each hand and Jimin helped shut the trunk for him. Jimin pulled his mask down just for a second to talk to him, "I'll speak to the woman at the front, okay? She really likes me. So just be your sweet self and stand behind me and it'll all be fine."
Jungkook nodded and Jimin lifted his mask back up as he led the way through the small hotel lobby door.
The inside lobby wasn't much of a lobby, but more like a room, small and clean and welcoming at the very least. Jungkook couldn't recall the last time he stayed in such a small but homely hotel. Jimin walked to the main desk and Jungkook trailed slowly behind, enjoying the dimly lit atmosphere and soft music playing overhead.
“My son-ca, it's so good to see you!”
Jungkook looked over as Jimin took his face mask and hat off completely and smiled brightly at the old woman, well dressed in more old fashioned clothes than Jungkook was used to seeing. She walked slowly around the counter and Jimin went to meet her halfway.
“Halmi-ssi!!! It's been way too long.”
They both bowed deeply before she pulled him into an embrace and Jungkook tried not to look confused. He knew that Jimin really liked the owner, but he hadn't realized they were on such familiar terms that the old woman literally called him her Grandson and her his Grandmother.
How much of a regular was he?
"I'll say! God, look at you, you're so thin now. Still handsome as always, of course, though I'll make sure to cook a good breakfast in the morning. I love the blonde, it's such a good look for you!" The woman was quite a bit shorter than Jimin, which meant Jungkook absolutely towered over her. He watched the woman dote on him, looking over his face and hands and then her attention turned over to Jungkook, curious eyes examining him up and down. Almost protective, cautious, like Jungkook was some sort of person to be wary of.
Jungkook bowed as best as he could to her while still holding their overnight bags and gave a shy smile, “It's nice to meet you.”
Jimin walked over to him and gave a dazzling smile. He removed Jungkook's mask so the woman could see his face properly and took one of their bags to wrap his free arm around Jungkook's and hold on. “This is Jungkook.” Jimin seemed so proud to say that, exhaling in happiness and walking him to the front of the conversation.
'Halmi' smiled after a while, "Well, Jungkook, I hope that you take good care of my sweet boy here."
Jungkook nodded, serious, “Of course. I want to be a good man for him.”
Jimin was blushing, not expecting Jungkook to actually respond to her hints and insinuations so seriously. But then again, Halmi was used to seeing the other people Jimin would bring in, during his trainee and dance days, when he was too young to be sneaking around and she hadn't been impressed then.
Jungkook must be a breath of fresh air with how sweet and polite he was. If Halmi liked Jungkook, then Jimin couldn't be happier.
Jimin smiled at her, brilliantly, “We made a reservation for the night to get away from everyone else.”
Halmi understood and nodded her head, then walked back over to the other side of the desk and pulled out a traditional brass key from a cubby-hole shelf. “Third floor, room 9. You two be safe now, okay?”
Jimin detached himself from Jungkook so he could pull out his wallet, wisely paying in cash and signing a paper the woman was quick to fold up and tuck in a drawer out of sight from other potential employees. She even went so far as to lock it. And Jungkook wondered how much she knew, about Jimin's life, about them being idols in a boy band fully prepared to take the world by storm. If she'd seen his face on the television in her break room, or if she recognized who Jungkook was the moment he walked in. There were a million questions he had, none of which he felt like he could ask.
Jimin gave a polite bow and Jungkook followed suit, and afterward, he took the second bag back from Jimin before he could protest.
“Oh, this one is a keeper.”
Jungkook blushed under the praise of this miniature old woman, and Jimin just sighed, a distant smile on his face as he looked at Jungkook, “Believe me, I know.”
They said goodbye and then they were on their way, taking the three flights of stairs because the building had no elevator.
Their room was the very last one, almost daunting down the long hallway and the irrational part of Jungkook wondered if this building was haunted.
Jimin opened the door and they went inside, and Jungkook took in his surroundings. It was a small room, very clean and almost traditional in styling. The bed was low to the ground and there was a small table lamp with an outlet. Beside it, a landline and a small clock. In the corner, a small table was shoved against the wall along with two wooden chairs. There was an outdated tv on the wall and the bathroom was small with little counter space but had a big enough tub to wash in.
Overall, it was quaint and nice and unassuming.
Jimin flopped onto the bed dramatically and sighed, sinking into the mattress and letting himself relax. They had only gotten home the day before, and they hadn't been able to slow down until this afternoon. Jungkook was kind of worried, actually, if Jimin was pushing himself too much. But when he went to set the bags down on the table Jimin turned his head to look at him and grinned into the pillow.
Jungkook took off his coat and draped it on the chair before standing awkwardly in the corner, unsure of what to or where to sit and just exactly how this was going to go. We're they going to talk about it? Probably. It was already 8 in the evening, they had to wake up at four in order to be back by five. But This was starting to feel clinical again and Jungkook would honestly rather just lay here for eight hours beside Jimin if he didn't actually want to-
Jimin sat up and pulled Jungkook out of his thoughts, raising an eyebrow and patting the spot next to him on the bed, “I can hear you thinking all the way over here. Don't worry, okay? It's just me.”
Jungkook let out a high pitched whine as he shook his head and made his way over to the bed, sitting himself a polite amount of distance away. “I know, it's just... I guess I just can't believe that this is... actually happening.”
Jimin got closer to him and touched his arm gently, hoping to give some sort of comfort. “I know this must be a really emotional and overwhelming experience for you, Kookie... When I lost mine, I was really nervous too. Do you wanna talk first? We can just sit here and cuddle and talk for a bit. It doesn't have to be so immediate. We have all night.”
Jungkook looked at Jimin's kind and inviting smile, and swore his heart skipped a beat. His eyes, his lips, his cheeks, his hair... God, he was perfect. He really was. He couldn't believe this was his life. That he was in his band, that he had this amazing hyung who took care of him. That Jimin was here, with him.
He nodded his head, “Can we talk for a bit?”
Jimin grinned and patted the space on the other side of the bed next to him at the head. Jungkook obeyed and went around to sit more on the mattress and against the headboard. Immediately, the older curled into his side and chest, laying on him and Jungkook accommodated by wrapping his arm around him. His hand went up to play with Jimin's hair, and the blonde underneath him let out a happy sigh at the touch.
“I missed this,” Jimin spoke, squeezing Jungkook affectionately as they cuddled. And it was the truth; no one felt quite like Jungkook when it came to cuddling and affection.
Jungkook blushed. Jimin being so open and honest about missing his touch, just being like this, together... It was nice. “Me, too.”
Jimin absentmindedly played with the hem of Jungkook's shirt, biting his lip in thought as he looked at the exposed skin of his sternum. Jungkook felt like he could barely breathe. "Kookie," he spoke, voice light and weightless; there was no need to be anything but soft, not when they were close like this. "You can ask me, you know. Anything. I don't mind, I want to comfort you. I'll be honest."
Jungkook pressed his tongue against his cheek, debating for a moment if he really wanted to ask. If it was somehow too personal, “You're past is your past, hyung. It's none of my business to know.”
Jimin lifted himself up and twisted his body so he was looking down at Jungkook. And while he thought he was looking down at perfection, Jungkook thought he was looking up at an angel. “Jungkook-ah, you're so sweet and kind. But I don't mind talking about it. If you don't want to hear that's fine, but if you're curious I'll let you know.”
Jungkook paused for a moment, then nodded. “Okay...” He took a deep breath, “How old were you? When you had sex for the first time?”
Jimin gave a weak smile, “14, 15 or so.”
Jungkook failed to keep himself from looking shocked. “That's... so young.”
Jimin shrugged his shoulders, "I had my first boyfriend, and I wasn't in love but we were really curious. Turns out the only reason he wanted to date was to try it, not because he wanted me. We broke up shortly after."
Jungkook looked appalled, “That's fuck up, Jimin. No one should do that.”
“Well,” Jimin laughed, “Tell that to all the boys who've slept with me during my trainee days.”
Jungkook stayed silent, looking to the side and glaring at the wall. He never wanted to murder a group of people until now. “It's not right, to use you like that and just leave you hanging after.”
The thought crossed Jimin's mind to tell Jungkook he was basically doing the same thing, but another part of him knew that wasn't really the case. Jungkook would never just walk out of his life after, and even if this isn't ideal, Jungkook was not like them . “Part of it was me, too. I let them, I used them too. I picked and chose carefully though. The ones who were obnoxious assholes I didn't let near me after that first time. You'd be surprised how many 'straight' men are willing to give it up once they're presented with a pretty face and a good time. And I'm always safe if it's someone I don't know.”
Jungkook gave a serious nod, “That's good...” he bit his lip, feeling weird that he was even asking this next question to someone, “You've been checked?”
Jimin just grinned, understanding and somewhat proud of Jungkook for being brave enough to ask, “I get checked every three to six months, depending. The others are fine too, there's no need to worry.”
Jungkook gave a relieved smile, more for the fact that Jimin wasn't offended. “I'm not worried. I trust you.”
They stared at one another, and the lull in the conversation allowed for the tension to grow between them. Jungkook just realized how Jimin's body was turned, how his hand was on Jimin's small waist and the other held onto his own tightly, how his face was mere centimeters apart. How his blond hair shagged into his face, how his lips were so huge and pink... He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to touch him so bad. He wanted to resurrect the ghost of a memory from last week, of Jimin's lips on his, of the smell and touch and closeness. And he wanted to lay to rest the bad parts, the feeling of being helpless and desperate and heartbroken.
And Jimin wasn't any better, his heart beating fast, waiting for Jungkook to make the first move and seal the deal. He took in Jungkook's features, how his jaw was so much sharper than he'd last remembered, how his eyes were big and hair was perfect and lips so sweet. He inched closer, licking his lips in a sinful manner and stared until his vision was hazy and cross-eyed.
And the temptation was too great.
Jungkook extended his neck and met Jimin's lips, kissing him with such a gentle hesitation Jimin could barely feel the difference at first. As if his lips were meant to be on his.
It was slow and soft, mouths sliding together and leaving short kisses in succession, getting a feel for one another and really taking it in. Jimin couldn't wrap his brain around that fact that this was the same Jungkook from last time, the same Jungkook who made Jimin use concealer on his lips and tinted products to cover the fact he was bruised. This was nothing like then, kind and soft and desperate in its own way. Completely different. But Jungkook still tasted the same, already familiar and addicting.
He slowly began to move even closer, bracing himself on either side of Jungkook with his hands and lifting himself onto his knees. Jungkook himself sat up more and deepened the kiss by lifting both his hands to cup Jimin's face. Jimin was an insane kisser, skillfully coaxing Jungkook's mouth open so he could peak into his mouth with tongue, getting their kiss wet and sending a fire burning in Jungkook's soul.
And then pretty soon Jimin wasn't even on his knees but leaning, almost laying on his side and trapping Jungkook in, trying to get even closer. Jungkook was so close to snapping, so close to grabbing Jimin and just pushing them together, but he was savoring every second of this. He didn't know when this would end, when any of this would end. But he was determined to do everything he could to make it last.
He didn't know how long he lasted, but when Jimin began playfully nibbling at his lip he was gone from that moment on.
Jungkook groaned, already breathless as he wrapped his arms around Jimin's torso and pushed them close together, feeling their chests against one another, fisting the back of his silky shirt, dominating the kiss and situation for a second. And Jimin let him, let Jungkook move him how he wanted, moaning and allowing himself to be pulled to his lap side saddle.
And then Jimin broke off for air. His pupils dilated as he took in Jungkook, the younger one's own eyes wide in amazement and blown out dark. He was looking at Jimin like he was God himself, that all of the secrets of the universe could be found within him. And Jimin wanted to give it, answer every single one, kiss him and protect him and love him and do everything he could to please him.
Jimin brought his hands to Jungkook's broad chest and rested them against him, curling the tips of his fingers to mold with the curve of his shoulder. “What do you like?”
Jungkook stared blankly for a moment, having to process what he was asking, “What do I like?”
Jimin nodded, still panting, “What do you want? How do you want me?”
Jungkook immediately replied, “I don't care. Just want you.”
Jimin just chuckled, pushing his hair back out of his face. Jungkook was so cute, so sweet. “So no special request? Nothing you wanna see me in? Want me to do? I can be a good sport.”
Jungkook just blinked, not knowing what to say. Jungkook never thought about if there was something more than just Jimin being himself that Jungkook would want. Yeah, he'd seen Jimin that one time in thigh highs and makeup, but Jimin was beautiful because it was Jimin, not because he was dressed up. Jungkook was new to this as it was, “I've never thought about anything else. I just want you.”
Jimin was slowing down a bit now, not as frantic as before, trying to figure out what to do next and Jungkook was still looking at him with that complete adoration. It was almost daunting, having this much power over a person. He didn't understand it. “Well, there must be something you like. Taehyung likes it when I'm praising him, Hobi likes the fem stuff, hell, Namjoon and Jin pretended I was someone else-”
“What?” Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion and concern, not liking how this conversation was going, “Jimin, I seriously don't care about that. I just- I just want you.”
I just want you.
There it was again.
Jimin grimaced, feeling some form of panic come across him. Because- what? That's... “Okay... I mean, Yoongi is like that as well, he likes to let me just handle it all. I'm cool with that.”
“No, Jimin-ah,” Jungkook's whole body sat up straighter and he gripped Jimin's arms, firm but comforting, and Jimin was so shocked at Jungkook's insistence he didn't even reprimand him for using that form of honorific. “That's not it at all.”
Jungkook remembered the reason he agreed in the first place, before anything else. And it was time, it was time for Jungkook to be clear, to get it through to Jimin. It was time for Jungkook to be that better man he told Yoongi so long ago he wanted to be. And he was terrified, his heart was beating so fast he could hear his pulse in his ears. But he had to do this. Even if Jimin didn't feel the same, he needed to know.
He needed to know somebody loved him.
“Jimin, I don't care about any of that stuff,” He met Jimin's shocked eyes with a serious gaze, hoping that Jimin couldn't tell how his hands trembled as he held on. “I want to do whatever you want to do. I want to be there for you. I know you'll take care of me, and show me, and be wonderful and thoughtful and perfect because you always are. But I want to take care of you, too. I want to always take care of you. I want to make you happy, I want to make you smile, I want- I want to hold you and kiss you and do everything and more with you. I don't want you to be anyone else; I want you to be you.”
Jimin's soul felt like it wasn't even in his body anymore, that somehow he woke up and was transported to some alternate reality. Because how was Jungkook saying all this? How was he saying things that Jimin never even imagined possible? Why? His heart was beating rapidly and his throat burned and Jungkook was here looking at him like he meant every word but that couldn't be true because Jimin was Jimin and Jungkook and Jungkook and that's not- that's not how it worked.
Jimin blinked repeatedly, choking, speechless.“...What? But- But why ? Why would you want any of that? Why would you want me ?”
And here it was, the moment Jungkook had been building up to. It was now or never.
“I love you.”
For a good ten seconds, neither of them so much as breathed.
Jimin was frozen, his mind trying to process the implications of Jungkook's words. And the one thing he knew was that Jungkook must be mistaken. That this was taken too far, that Jimin shouldn't have let this happen, that he's confusing lust for something else. And Jungkook waited on baited breath, pouring his heart out like he was actually telling the truth and-
Jimin pulled himself away from Jungkook and got off the bed, pacing the small space they had to walk in this room. Jimin didn't know what to do, he was so overwhelmed with emotions. Happy, sad, panic, anxiety, disbelief. It was too much, just too much.
Jungkook waited, trying not to let disappointment and depression and fear overwhelm him. He knew this must be a lot for Jimin, even harder to grasp. He needed to be strong, and he watched with a pit in his stomach as Jimin turned back around to him and pushed back his hair in frustration.
“You can't possibly mean that, Jungkook-ah. You just can't.”
Jungkook almost laughed, but instead bit the inside of his cheek and looked away to think of an answer. Because that hurt, that Jimin would dismiss his feelings so easily like it wasn't even in the realm of possibilities Jungkook might actually be in love with him. Like he wasn't serious, or like he didn't know what he was talking about. He squeezed his eyes tightly as he pushed down anger and took a deep breath.
“Jimin-ah,” he choked out, opening his eyes again to face him, and Jimin could see it, the anguish, the desperation, the pain, and now he recognized it, the emotion he couldn't figure out before but- no.
“Sometimes it feels like the only thing I'm sure of anymore.”
Jimin shut his eyes and shook his head. “No, no, no, no that's- you can't .”
Jimin felt tears start burning in his eyes. From anguish or happiness, he wasn't sure. Both? All he knew was his breathing was getting near impossible to control and he didn't know whether or not he wanted to run and cry or take the few steps back to Jungkook and never let go. There were so many reasons why this couldn't, no, wouldn't, work. Their status, their band, the fact their criticism would be bigger than ever if anything went wrong. The fact Jungkook just couldn't possibly be in love with him. There's no way, he must be mistaken, he-
Jungkook stood up fast and made his way over to Jimin. He didn't hesitate, didn't let Jimin continue like this. Because he couldn't stand seeing him cry. He never could. He wrapped his arms around Jimin and brought him close, holding onto him tight because he never wanted to let go. A hand around his back, the other cradling his head so he could weep into his shoulder. And then Jungkook was crying too, everything just too much to handle.
“Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook trembled and thread his fingers through Jimin's hair, “Do you really think it's that impossible? For me to love you?”
Then Jimin moved, hugging him back and gripping onto the back of Jungkook's shirt for dear life. He sniffled and struggled to breathe, not sobbing but certainly cracking. Because that was it, wasn't it? That Jimin didn't think he was good enough for someone like Jungkook. "J-Jungkook..."
His mouth ran now, spouting out every excuse he'd ever told himself.
“We're idols, Jungkook.”
Jungkook pressed his cheek against the top of his head, “I don't care.”
“We can't tell anyone.”
Jungkook kissed his hair, “We'll support each other.”
“We're too young to know what we want.”
Jungkook's voice was soft, “We'll figure it out together.”
“What if it ruins everything?”
Jungkook backed away just enough to grasp his shoulders, firm, and Jimin opened up his eyes only to be met with Jungkook's assuring gaze. He had his own tears, his own determination.
Jimin's tears didn't stop, not when he was looking at this man. This man that kept surprising and surpassing every expectation. This man that Jimin told himself he could never have. This man that's matured and grown and become so sure of himself he was willing to dismiss any of his own fears in order to sooth Jimin's worries. Jimin just didn't measure up.
“I'm not good enough-”
Jungkook cut him off and pressed his lips against Jimin's. It was deep and soft, kind, affectionate, loving . Jungkook would never get enough of Jimin, would never get tired of this. And Jimin closed his eyes, trying to subside his tears. Because Jungkook was here, like this, with him, kissing him and loving him and holding him. And then Jungkook broke apart to kiss his tears away, the salty flavor dancing on his lips as he treated his under eyes and cheeks with the utmost care. He large hands caressed his face, thumbs sliding gently and wiping away the remnants of his tears.
Jungkook gave a breathless laugh, smiling down at Jimin's now surprised expression. Jimin's lips were parted, wet, eyes wide and disbelieving and now just the tiniest bit, hopeful. He was beautiful, gorgeous wonderful.
“You're more than enough, Jimin. You're perfect. Even when you aren't.”
Jimin fumbled with his smile, his chest feeling like it was about to burst. Because Jungkook has said he was perfect before, but now he was getting it. Because Jungkook was perfect even when he wasn't, even when he was a brat or angry or frustrated. Jungkook was perfect in every sense. Strong, talented, fast, tall, honest... Loved by everyone.
Jimin brought his own hands up to Jungkook's face, almost giggling with a grin and trembled as he held him close.
"You Belong To The World."
And Jungkook just shook his head, eyes sparkling at the sight of his love's smile.
"Then I Belong To You."
Jimin kissed him, lips swift and sure, and a renewed sense of passion coursed through his veins that he was certain could only come from being loved.
Jungkook stumbled backwards easily now, guiding both him and Jimin back to the bed, and when his knees hit the edge he sat down and pulled Jimin back on top. Jimin held his face for a moment longer, trying to convey his own emotions, passion, everything he felt like he needed to hold back in the past flowing like a river. Their tongues were warm and wet and hot and just- Jimin tasted so good, Jungkook was perfect, neither of them could wait a second longer for each other.
Jimin broke off trying not to cry again as he stared at Jungkook, pure warmth and adoration radiating from both of them. And then he realized, he hadn't said it back, that Jungkook didn't know . Jimin had to say it too, the feeling swelled up inside of him after so long of hiding it and the knowledge that he could finally say it was just... He needed to tell this man, he deserved to know.
“Jeon Jungkook, I love you. I've loved you for so long now, before I even realized it, I...”
Jungkook's smile was so big his teeth couldn't hide. There couldn't be anything better than this. To love and be loved in return. He was laughing in relief, bringing Jimin's head close so their foreheads were touching and they had to close their eyes.
As long as he had Jimin, they could get through this. Any difficulties, and criticism, pressure, rumors, fights... Jungkook would take it all, he'd take it all for both of them, all he needed was Jimin, like this, with him.
How could he have ever doubted this was real?
Jimin was laughing too now, heart feeling lighter than ever before. Because This . This must be what happiness really is.
Being someone's entire World.
Having the World belong to you.
“Is this okay?”
Jimin just smiled, “Jungkook, you don't need to ask to take my shirt off.”
Jungkook hit Jimin's chest with the back of his hand playfully, “I wanna do this right.”
Jimin reached up to cup Jungkook's face. The younger was absolutely beautiful, sitting on top of him on his knees and slowly unbuttoning Jimin's top for him. Jungkook could feel his fingers trembling as he undid each button, hear Jimin's affectionate laughter, see the milky pale skin of his chest appear more and more as he made his way lower. He looked deep in concentration as if somehow he could possibly mess up unbuttoning a shirt.
When his top fell open finally Jimin leaned forward just a bit to help Jungkook slide it off his shoulders, and it was amazing how much contrast there was between the silky black material that was on his body compared to the creamy skin exposed now. Jimin was a lot smaller compared to when they debuted, and Jungkook knew this but he was still perfect, still defined and toned and soft and strong and-
“You're so beautiful.”
Jimin's eyes sparkled as he saw Jungkook gaze at him as if he meant every word, and let the younger reach for his hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed him, softly, and held onto it and his arm as he kissed each finger, the palm of his hand, his wrist...
Jimin's breath hitched.
Jungkook couldn't help himself. Now that he was allowed to do this, allowed to touch Jimin, kiss him, love him... He wanted to love every part, kiss every inch. He wanted everything.
Jungkook just leaned his head against Jimin's forearm, tilting ever so slightly so he could slide down and kiss every part of it, feel Jimin's arm as it slid behind his head. When he reached the inside up his elbow he finally opened his eyes and looked up, trapping Jimin with the desire resting in his blown out pupils.
Jimin found himself blushing at the pure lust radiating from Jungkook.
Jungkook just continued on his journey across Jimin's arm, kissing up his bicep to his shoulder, and when he got to his neck Jimin let up a high pitched moan at the erogenous zone. Jungkook spent extra time there, sucking and biting and letting his tongue slide along his pulse point. “Ah, Jungkook-ah...”
Jungkook pulled off from his neck to kiss his cheek, forehead, lips...
Jimin was going to go insane if Jungkook kept this pace up for the entire night. But he also never wanted it to stop, never wanted Jungkook to stop kissing him, never wanted Jungkook to end his journey across his body.
If the others worshiped and left, then Jungkook stayed and prayed.
Jungkook picked up his other hand and repeated the same thing, kissing each of his small fingers, palm, wrist, forearm bicep, shoulder.
“Jungkook-ah, please," Jimin begged, his head spinning.
“What do you want?” Jungkook asked, coming back up and facing Jimin, watching as Jimin came undone underneath him at just his touch, like this, looking amazing and gorgeous and just plain perfection.
Jimin moved, Grasping Jungkook's shirt from behind and pulling it over his head to reveal what was underneath. And Jimin took in every muscle, every indent, let his hands trace every line and every edge. Jungkook was such a man , strong and hard and smooth and to think Jimin was allowed to love him...
Jimin placed a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in for a fierce kiss. Tongues sliding, hands exploring, Jungkook moving him so he could rest his head on a pillow and lay him down. And Jungkook broke off from the kiss, but just to leave another trail of kisses down his body, moving lower along with it. He raked his nails ever so lightly across Jimin's chest and the tingling .
“Kookie... God, you're...”
When Jungkook's hands reached his belt, he pushed himself up to look down at Jimin, eyes wide and nervous, “Is this okay?”
Jimin's breathing was heavy as he nodded frantically, already moving his own hands to unbuckle his belt for Jungkook. He was aching to get them off, to feel some sort of relief from the straining happening against his black jeans. He pulled off the belt and undid his zipper, then lifted his ass off the bed as Jungkook assisted in helping slide them off his legs.
Jungkook paused for a second as they came off of Jimin's foot. He ran his fingers across the top of his left mid and forefoot as he carefully took in the sight of Jimin with his underwear on, laying on the bed with his leg and foot being held by him. And his next move surprised both Jimin and himself, but he wanted to, wanted to literally touch every inch of him.
He kissed Jimin's big toe lightly, mostly a press of his lips, but it still made Jimin gasp. Then he kissed the next one, his middle, forth, pinky, the top of his foot and then his heel. He kissed his ankle, then moved along the side of his calf, trailing his mouth across Jimin's smooth skin and-
Jungkook's hands on his thigh, massaging slowly, pressed into his muscle as he kissed the inner flesh. Jimin couldn't think anymore, his eyes stinging at just how overwhelming this was. He'd never had this happen, where someone literally covered every part of him, praised him. Never had someone worship his body and actually mean it.
Then Jungkook let his left leg down carefully and went for his right. He repeated every movement, every touch, kiss...
When Jungkook finally got to the hem of his underwear, he took in the way Jimin's erection stretched against the fabric and was slightly wet, and he was in mere awe that he could give someone as experienced as Jimin such a reaction. Touching him gently he asked that damn question again, eyes big and wide.
“Is this okay?”
Jimin was so wound up he felt like he could explode, “Jungkook, yes, it's okay, it's more than okay, you could do anything you wanted to me and I'd be okay with it, just- please .”
Jungkook blushed and gave a short nod, before pulling the underwear off to revel in Jimin's nakedness.
He was sure he'd seen all of his hyung's naked before, but never like this . Never in this context where one was under him, his erection on full display, body glistening in sweat not caused from dance practice. Jimin was pure beauty, pure sin, pure perfection... His blonde hair stuck to his face and Jungkook leaned in to push it back for him, staring into Jimin's eyes, and his kissed his forehead and his cheek, amazed that this was something that he could have.
Jimin reached up and started unbuttoning Jungkook's own pants, the only thing he could focus on was how much he wanted to see all of him, too. So Jungkook got himself out of those slacks faster than a costume change, getting off Jimin so he could lay beside him on the bed and take them off.
Jimin rolled over so now that he was the one on top, helping Jungkook slide the pants off his feet quickly and allowed himself to take in Jungkook's body. He was so defined, so muscular, years of training at such a young age doing wonders for him. Jimin could write lyrics about Jungkook's body, the way he wanted to ravage every part of it, how his dick was absolutely mouthwatering, how his abs made Jimin weak. And Jungkook stared up at him like he was some sort of angel, that he could find out all of the secrets of the universe if he memorized every inch of him.
Jimin took Jungkook's hands in his and placed them on his body, letting them rest on his chest, giving Jungkook permission. “Jungkook,” his voice was barely a whisper, low and seductive, and Jungkook felt the blush spread from his cheeks all the way down his neck. “Touch me now .”
Jimin bit his lower lip, reveling in the groan Jungkook gave at the sight, “Anywhere you'd like.”
Jungkook nodded as he let his hand slide down Jimin's body, and it got harder and harder to breathe the lower he went. Finally, he got Jimin's erection, hard and pretty and the moment he touched him Jimin let out such a beautiful sigh it was music . Jimin on top of him, eyes sliding closed and Jungkook wrapped a large hand on him- and then he was moving, jerking him off slowly with a practiced grip, feeling Jimin's small amount of precum lube him up and-
Jimin moaned, bracing himself on Jungkook's hips and moved up into his hand. Jungkook was jerking him off, feeling Jimin get fully hard under his touch, and he could feel his own dick twitch and grow hard in excitement. Jungkook let his other hand trail behind Jimin, sliding down the curve of his back and to the swell of his perfect ass, and Jungkook could finally feel it without any barriers. Taut and firm and soft and he grabbed a handful of his cheek and kneaded and-
“Oh, God, Kookie,” Jimin gasped, jerking up into Jungkook's hand but pushing back onto Jungkook's grip on his ass, torn between what feeling to go for. “I want you.”
Jungkook couldn't lay still anymore so he sat up, handling Jimin with a hand on each ass cheek and pushing him closer until Jimin was fully seated on him and they were pressed together and-
“Oh, shit, Jimin.”
Like this, flushed together, Jimin's erection pressing against his own, naked and sitting on top of him.
Jungkook kissed him fiercely, unable to go slow any longer, and Jimin responded eagerly as he moved against him, grinding and kissing back just as passionately. Jungkook's soft hair felt amazing gripped between his hands, his skin glistened with sweat from their activity, and God, just grinding against him gave so much relief but not enough , not nearly enough. "Jungkook-ah," he moaned into his mouth as he reached between them and pressed their erections fully together, his baby hands not nearly big enough to wrap around them both but he tried-
Jungkook swatted his hand away on instinct before taking over, and yes , that was so much better. So much better indeed. Jimin loved it, Jungkook's hand on them both, tight and wet from precome and Jimin cried out as he leaned his head back and gasped for air. Jungkook went for his neck then, leaving kisses and moaning into the sensitive flesh as he pumped them both in time with their thrusts. And it felt so good , and he felt Jungkook slide a hesitant finger down the valley of his ass, just tracing the line, and Jimin knew exactly what Jungkook's subconscious was trying to tell him.
And pretty soon he was aching for it, not wanting Jungkook or him to end too quickly just from his large hand.
"Jungkook..." Jimin gasped as he pulled his lover's head back but the nape of his hair, and was met with the most debauched sight he could imagine. Jungkook's eyes pure black in lust, lips red and wet, mouth parted to show his beautiful teeth... Jimin fisted his hair tight and earned himself a lovely moan, and it was amazing, just how much control, how much love and power he had over Jungkook.
Jimin grinned, arching his backside so Jungkook's finger slipped further between his ass cheeks and watched with fascination as Jungkook gasped. It was so close to his hole, Jimin couldn't even begin to describe the anticipation welling up inside him.
“Do you wanna feel me, baby?” Jimin spoke, barely above a whisper into Jungkook's ear, and the younger shuddered on instinct as his cock responded to the implication.
“Ahh,” Jungkook curled his finger just enough to graze the Jimin's puckered entrance and holy fucking shit Jimin wanted him to...
“Mmhmm, that's it,” Jimin happily moaned, kissing Jungkook's lips, “You wanna fill me up? Have your nice big cock deep inside me?”
Jungkook groaned, letting his tongue slide against Jimin's own as they made out, “You want me to...?”
“Shit.” Jungkook kissed wildly, biting his lips and pumping them together in time, “Shit, fuck, yeah.”
Jimin smiled into their kiss before he pulled apart and placed a gentle hand on top of Jungkook's, slowing down his speed as he jerked them off. He giggled softly as Jungkook looked up at him with pure wonder and desire, like he couldn't believe Jimin would give him the privilege, “Grab the lube out of my bag for me and I'll let you watch, okay?”
Jungkook almost pushed him off his lap he was so excited, and Jimin could only laugh as he sat back on the bed and watched Jungkook scramble to do as he was told. He was simultaneously the cutest and hottest thing ever, stumbling over his feet and their clothes on the floor like a newborn deer but also incredibly fucking sexy standing there naked.
“You have an incredible ass, Jungkook.”
Jungkook turned his head from the bag and smiled, blushing shyly as if he didn't have an erection on full display. “Not as nice as yours.”
Jimin pushed his hair back, grinning from ear to ear as he saw Jungkook find the small bottle in the outer pocket. “Then why don't you come over here so you can see it action?”
Jungkook didn't need to be told twice.
He joined Jimin on the bed and handed over the bottle, and Jimin left a brief peck on his lips before getting close, eyeing Jungkook seductively as he moved onto his knees.
“Let's make sure you have a good view, Kookie. So hyung can teach you how to stretch him out good.”
Jungkook swore his mouth went dry as he heard those words, and he could only stare as he watched Jimin lube up his fingers with an insane amount. Then Jimin was on his knees , his ass on complete display and, “Fuck.”
Jimin turned his head to the side so he could try and make eye contact with Jungkook, his face completely smashed into the pillow. And he couldn't see much, but he knew Jungkook was going insane, breathing heavily and Jimin pulled back one of his cheeks so his sweet Kookie could watch as the first finger slid in.
“Holy, fuck, Jimin.”
Jimin's hole was flushed and puckered, clean and clenching around his own baby fingers like it was absolutely nothing to him. And the sight was maddening, stirring this dark need and want into the pool of Jungkook's stomach as he'd never felt before. Part of him wanted to watch forever, the other part wanted to take over, force Jimin down and help himself even though he'd never stretched someone like this before. And Jimin was ever the performer, though this time it came easier than the others, moaning out and sighing at the feeling and he slipped in his index finger alongside his ring finger for a bigger stretch. And Jungkook didn't want to sound conceited, but how the hell was he supposed to fit in there when Jimin's hands were barely big enough to wrap around his dick earlier?
How in the hell did Jimin fuck anyone when his ass looked so tight and wet and delicious just-
Jimin was panting, frustrated as he searched for that spot inside himself, wanting to show Jungkook just how pretty he was when his prostate got hit. And even though he was extremely flexible, he still couldn't get all of his third finger in without a bit of a strain.
Jungkook could tell, and he licked his lips as he came closer. His hand came up to touch the glorious round globe of his other cheek, and he pushed it aside so he could get an even better view. Jimin moaned, happy to get a better angle and senses heightened at the thought of Jungkook so close to him. He was whining now, and he could almost feel it, almost there, when Jungkook couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore.
“You know,” the rasp in his voice like he was already fucked out was downright sinful, “You're fingers seem too small, I'm sure my mine can stretch you out even better.”
Jimin's laugh had no power behind it, but the chill that went down his spine at Jungkook's unintentional insult and bragging left him wanting more. Jimin slowly withdrew his hand, letting his reddened hole squelch as it went back to size and relished in Jungkook's audible gasp.
Jimin readjusted so he could support himself on his hands and turned to look at Jungkook over his shoulder. “They'll be plenty big enough for when I fuck you next.”
Jungkook practically whined, torn between Jimin's promise of their next time and the immediate situation that was in front of him right now . “God, Jimin-ah, please , let me- let me try.”
Jimin nodded, “lube your fingers and get me ready, yeah?”
Jungkook immediately moved, grabbing the bottle resting by Jimin's head and gave him a kiss just because he could before getting behind him again. And Jungkook let himself take in the sight, Jimin's ass, the way Jimin's face went back into the pillow as he held himself open with both hands and the sight was so good, too good, Jungkook just couldn't think anymore.
He placed his own hands on top of Jimin's before diving in and gave an experimental lick across his hole.
Jimin gasped, eyes wide open now as he fully understood what Jungkook was trying to do, and holy shit he'd never even gave a blow job before and he was gonna-
His own thoughts got cut off when Jungkook started licking and lapping up the lube in him, his tongue forcing its way through the initial muscles and tightness.
“Fucking- Hell- Jungu-” Jimin trembled, trying to remember how to give directions when he was so off guard and overwhelmed, “Try- ... fingers too, spit, lots of it, spit on it and lube-”
He cried out as he felt Jungkook slip a wet finger inside, and goddammit the brat was right, his fingers were so much better, so much bigger of a stretch. Already he was getting deeper and Jungkook had his tongue helping to open him up and Jimin hadn't been eaten out in such a long time he forgot how much he loved it. It was always him, always him giving, never receiving like this, never just for his own pleasure.
Jungkook paused for a second to lube up his fingers again, already eager for more, already finding himself addicted to the whines and crying and little sounds Jimin made as he ate him out. Already used to the taste of Jimin with lube and spit and skin. He added two fingers now, the stretch already bigger than when Jimin was fingering himself with three, and it was so tight just around his digits he wondered again just how this was gonna work. Jimin's ass was pulling him in, the suction on his fingers greedy, and Jimin let out a moan as he talked him through it again.
“Scissor. Stretch it out- pump and stretch your fin- ahhh, yes, fuck, yes Jungu...”
Jungkook already obeyed, scissoring him open and trying to stretch it out, and the way his hole accommodated so easily, going along with it and letting him see just how much it could go... Jungkook dived back in as soon as possible, spitting on top as much as he could before sliding his tongue back in and exploring and Jimin couldn't help pushing back onto Jungkook's face, trying to spread his ass cheeks so far apart he pulled the skin completely taut.
Jungkook pulled back and got his third finger ready, and the moment all three were in and he curled them Jimin let out a loud cry, his hand moving involuntarily to grip the sheets. Jungkook panicked, thinking that he hurt him somehow and started to pull back before Jimin's other hand grabbed his wrist so tight Jungkook thought it could break.
“Don't you dare stop.”
Jimin sounded so desperate, so fucking wrecked, and Jungkook was helpless to protest but he still asked, “Is this okay?”
“It is if you keep fucking going, I can't- Jungkook fucking wreck me, please.”
Jungkook pushed back in and curled his fingers the same way until he felt himself press against that same spot and Jimin's hand flew back around to brace himself on the bed. Jimin was moaning now, dry-sobbing almost, and Jungkook fucked into him with his hand and started stretching him with all three.
Jungkook didn't think a better sight existed than Jimin laying here with his fingers deep inside, incoherent because of him.
“Fucking, Hell, Jungkook, yes, don't stop, please, it's not fair, how, how are you so good at this already?”
Jungkook almost said, 'they don't call me the golden maknae for nothing,' on instinct, but he felt like that might ruin the mood.
So instead he leaned back in and kept his mouth busy, adding more spit and kissing the tender skin right underneath his stretched hole. Jimin could feel himself getting too close too soon, and as much as he didn't want Jungkook to stop, he wanted his cock inside of him even more. So he forced himself to string a sentence again and moved away from Jungkook just a little bit. Jungkook got the hint to still himself inside him, and Jimin let out a happy sigh.
“That's good, Jungkook.” Jimin gasped for air. “Lemme- I wanna... fuck me now, please.”
Jungkook took out his fingers, and Jimin's hole was so stretched and red and swollen now that it made earlier seem like nothing. Jungkook gave another kiss to it, massaged his ass, nipped and kissed at the skin on his gluts because it just was so nice. He could literally worship Jimin's ass for days, ages, he was tempted to do so but Jimin started wriggling, impatient and worked up.
"I swear to God, Jungkook, get your head out of my ass and put your dick there."
Jungkook sat up and grabbed the bottle to put more on himself when Jimin started moving as well, legs shaky as he flipped his body over to lay on his back. He made grabbing motions for the bottle, and Jungkook raised an eyebrow in question when Jimin just smiled, sweet and loving.
“Let me put it on you.”
Jungkook came closer so Jimin didn't have to move more than necessary and Jimin reached out, his skillful hands wrapping around Jungkook and making him moan at the touch. It was insane to see, to feel, to have Jimin laying like this and touching him, his tiny fingers working him even harder and quite literally the best handjob he'd ever felt. He did need to know anyone else's touch because how could it get any better than this ? Jimin knew just where to squeeze, where to flick his wrist, the pressure to use and then he was lowering his head and poking his tongue out and, “holy fuck-”
Jimin stretched his mouth over the head, licking and sucking the top like a lollipop and Jungkook was torn between watching Jimin's sinful eyes look up at his or throwing his head back and closing his own. His hands worked in time with his head movement, but Jimin didn't do it for long, just to make sure he was fully hard and worked up, just enough to get a taste and tease him and get ready. When he pulled off Jungkook groaned in frustration, but Jimin just looked up at him with those sinfully full, red lips now wet with saliva and precome. He took the lube and opened it, spreading it generously all over him and smiled, “Some other time I'll let you fuck my mouth, but right now I'd rather have you come inside me.”
Jungkook couldn't believe Jimin existed.
He grabbed a fist full of the back of his head and crashed their lips together, this time tasting not only Jimin but saliva and lube and a bit of himself and he couldn't think of anything better. Jimin responded just as eager, jerking off Jungkook and moaning into their messy kiss and equally enthralled by the taste.
Jungkook pulled back, hand still tight on Jimin's scalp as he took him in, and he told him those words once more, just because he could, “I love you. I love you so much.”
Jimin moved so he could hold Jungkook, let his hands ghost across his back and shoulders, his arms. And it was like Jimin wanted to cry all over again, emotions high and overwhelming. Because how could it get better? How could anything be more perfect? What did Jimin do in a past life to deserve such a good thing now? “I love you, Jeon Jungkook.”
And then Jimin was laying back, smiling big as he brought Jungkook to move on top of him, spreading his legs wide to accommodate. He helped Jungkook maneuver him, showing Jungkook how to lift his body and line up properly. Jungkook's eyes would dart between their bodies and up to Jimin, and just as he could feel the tip, almost ready to push through he saw the nerves in Jungkook's eyes. Jimin just smiled, reaching up to caress Jungkook's face and push his hair back. Jungkook focused on that, on Jimin's touch and his smile, the adoring expression in his eyes, and the gentle words he'd wanted to here for so long.
“Love me now.”
And Jungkook pushed in, the tightness shocking and wet and overwhelming. He was surprised he didn't come right then and there, surrounded by Jimin's tight heat, Jimin's smooth legs wrapped around his waist. Euphoria, pure bliss, pure happiness, pure pleasure. He held on to Jimin, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together as he collected himself, waited for Jimin to adjust.
Jimin could feel it, the fullness, the completion, the ache and craving and emptiness fully dissipate. Like everything fell into place. And the familiar burn of someone inside of him felt completely different, like this was somehow better, like Jimin could breathe through it. Like he was finally whole for the first time, like he knew what it meant to become one with another person, another soul, and the burning was meant to subside. As if all of his fears subsided.
"Move," Jimin whispered, and Jungkook obeyed, the two of them in sync as Jungkook rolled his hips into him.
Jungkook kept as close as he could, not wanting any part of him away from Jimin. He didn't want to ever let go, didn't want for this to ever end. He grasped Jimin's hand and threaded their fingers together, holding him tight as he moved and basked at the moment. And then he hit it, that spot that drove Jimin crazy earlier, and Jimin cried out as he pushed back, tears in his eyes and holding onto Jungkook for dear life.
He was so beautiful, so perfect like this. So incredible and wonderful and it filled Jungkook with so many emotions, so many thoughts, of what he wanted. Of how he wanted Jimin. Of how he needed him. How he couldn't live without him anymore.
“I want you.” Jungkook gasped, looking down at Jimin who was looking up at him, pushing back.
“You have me,” he cried out.
Jungkook leaned in to kiss him slowly and laid his other arm beside Jimin's head so he could cradle him. "Want everything with you."
Jimin moved back slowly, their bodies so close it was almost hard to move at all but he didn't care, “I want to see the world, everything, with you.”
Jungkook lifted his head and kissed his nose, his cheek, his lips. And it was like he couldn't stop now. Now that he was allowed to say everything he'd ever dreamed of, "I want everyone to wonder. I want them jealous, I want them talking. I want to show you off. I want to have songs with you that make people question how close we are."
Jimin moaned, heart light and open as he heard Jungkook praise him. Jimin pushed back meeting his thrusts, not wanting this dream to ever end, “I want to stay with you and never wake up.”
Jungkook brought Jimin's hand up to his mouth and kissed him, “I want to wake up with you every morning.”
Jimin was crying now, emotions overflowing as he felt his release swelling up inside of him. He knew he wouldn't last, not when Jungkook was talking like this, of the future, of everything, of always. Speaking promises he wanted so desperately to believe he'd keep. “Don't let go now.”
Jungkook was close, not being able to last much longer, not when he had Jimin, was pounding into him, was surrounded by him. And he said what he'd wanted to for months, for ages, the last time he held Jimin in his arms all night.
“Just let me love you.”
Neither of them said anything for a long time afterwards. Instead, they basked in each other's company, the serene silence that filled the air let them pretend for a moment they didn't need to worry about the world. For the first time in a long time, Jimin didn't feel the need to perform.
They were wrapped up in one another, legs tangled together underneath sheets as Jungkook carefully traced the curves and edges of Jimin's face. Like he was seeing him for the first time, all over again, memorizing everything he could. And Jimin was looking back, gazing into his dark eyes, taking in how utterly beautiful Jungkook was like this. Hair ruffled and messy and skin glistening and lips pink.
Jungkook's head was swimming with a million questions, but none of them seemed even remotely fitting. But he could feel the anxiety swell up again, nerves taking over. So finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper, as if speaking would break the spell, “What now?”
Jimin gave a small smile, “What do you mean?”
Jungkook held onto Jimin's neck, his fingers curling with the blond locks at his hairline. “What do we do now?”
Jimin's heart felt like it would sink and float all at the same time. Because it just wasn't that easy to answer. They couldn't be public, they couldn't be affectionate outside the norm. They'd have to be careful, every move was already analyzed and critiqued by everyone around them. And that wasn't fair, it just wasn't to Jungkook. To put this incredible person through that, to expect Jungkook to be okay with silence.
To expect Jungkook to be okay with him.
“Well,” Jimin started, holding onto Jungkooks shoulder, “I guess we just live. Whatever you need, whatever is best.”
Jungkook took a deep breath. He knew Jimin loved him. He knew he loved Jimin. But he had to know, he had to make sure. “I want to try. I don't want to just give up or go back to before or... I know we can't be together. Officially. I know we can't tell anyone. But it doesn't matter to me.”
Jimin tried to smile, but it was just the upturn of his lips. Because Jungkook could say this, could plead and beg but was it worth it? Was it worth jeopardizing everything they worked for? "Jungkook-ah, we're not Namjoon-hyung or Seokjin-hyung. They can be subtle, they can work as a team and set it aside. They don't take it personally when there's conflict. We're open books. You wear your heart on your sleeve. And I... I hide mine so much sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. If anything were to go wrong... How would we manage? It's impractical. We can't even tell our managers, the staff, no one. If they were to find out, Jungkook, it wouldn't be pretty."
Jungkook understood, he did. Because they were all things he worried about too. Jungkook grabbed a hold of his hand while caressing his face with the other, loving, gentle. He made Jimin meet his eyes, wanted to show him how serious he was, how much he meant it. How he wasn't ready, but he was wanting to try.
“Jimin-ah, I'm willing to believe in us. I'm willing to figure it out. If it gets stressful or upsetting or we're angry or mad at each other, I want us to work it out. I know you think I'm young, I'm naive, I'm some sort of kid but I'm- I'm not.”
“I don't think you're a kid, Jungkook-ah.” Jimin sighed, rubbing his thumb against Jungkook affectionately, “I just don't want you to limit yourself. I don't want you to waste all the potential you have. I don't want you to regret trying this and it blowing up in our faces.”
Jungkook kissed him. There wasn't any passion or urgency like before, but a sure sense of determination. To remind Jimin of why they were here.
He waited until he could feel Jimin relax into it, slowly kiss him back, and respond, before he broke apart and looked at him again. “The only thing I'd ever regret is not giving this a chance." He squeezed Jimin's hand tight, grinning once he saw a shy smile appear on Jimin's face. "If we end up failing, at least we can say we tried. I know that you're my hyung, but I want to be the one to protect you, to look after you, to be there when you're hurting or sad or lost. And I would never ask you to change for me. Because who you are is why I- why I love you."
Jimin moved, throwing himself into Jungkook's arms completely. His head on his shoulder, tears threatening to fall from his eyes out of sheer emotion and love. "Jungkook-ah, you're like the moon lighting up my darkest nights. I- didn't know I could feel like this."
Jungkook just held him tight, never wanting to let go, and he kissed the top of Jimin's head, “If I'm the moon, then you're the sun. I only shine when you're by my side.”
And Jimin sobbed, never imagining himself to feel this much, to cry this much, just from the fact that one person could make him so happy. And Jungkook let him cry, was crying too, let Jimin calm down and feel everything. Allowed himself to hold Jimin like this.
Once Jimin calmed down again, Jungkook leaned back and tilted his lover's chin up so Jimin to see him. Because he needed to say one more thing, something he'd thought about for a long time. To let Jimin know he wouldn't judge or change him. "Jimin-ah, I want you to know I mean it when I say I would never change you. I know we're not normal, that we can't be open or exclusive. And I know you're with the others too, Hobi and Tae and Yoongi."
Jimin furrowed his brows, confused but smiled anyway, “What would they have to do with anything?”
Jungkook took a deep breath, swallowing down the jealous monster threatening to come out. Because this was important, and Jimin was Jimin, and Jungkook wouldn't keep him from doing what he does, “Well, I just wanted to let you know that-” His blush crept onto his face even as he tried to not feel embarrassed or disingenuous, “It's okay. I don't want you to have to change who you are or what you do and- If you choose to sleep with them, that's okay too. I'll be jealous, but... I love you. And you love me, and I wouldn't want you to give up any part of yourself.”
Jimin's heart overflowed with emotion as his smile grew so wide his eyes disappeared. The fact Jungkook would even suggest that made him feel so amazing. That Jungkook would give him that choice and freedom even if he might not like it.
Jimin moved fast, letting his duvet slide off his body as he sat on top of Jungkook and kissed his lips. Once, twice, three times, and Jungkook adjusted to lay on his back and hold him close, giggling. Because it was a small sacrifice if it made Jimin this happy, he could deal with the ache, if it meant Jimin could be happy and free and spread his wings-
“Jungkook,” Jimin shook his head, beaming like the glorious sun he was, so bright and close Jungkook could go blind, “If it's you, then I don't need anyone else. They don't complete me; you do.”
Jungkook let out an audible sigh of relief, a sound so happy and high pitched it made Jimin completely hysterical and fall on top of him.
Jungkook just caught him and wrapped his arms around him tight.
“You really thought you could deal with me sleeping with everyone after how fucking jealous you got the other week?”
“Not really, but I was gonna try!!!”
“Such a cute strong man, Kookieeeeeeeeee~”
Comments and Kudos are appreciated! Just one, small finale left to go. I hope you guys have enjoyed this as much as I have. This story is my baby, please take care of it, World. Xxx
Chapter 7: Part 7
Thank you guys so much for staying with me on this journey. I started writing this in December, and to be able to actually finish this and be able to write something that means this much to me has made me incredibly happy and I hope that all of you can read it and appreciate it as well. Please let me know what you think, and I'm willing to open up all ends of discussion about the work. Enjoy this short chapter to close things off. And remember, Love Yourself Xxx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When Jimin and Jungkook got back from their escapade at 5:30 am the next day, their other five counterparts were so excited and giddy and happy they could barely keep their composure.
Namjoon was the first one to see them walk in, already awake and looking over the schedule for the day in the living room with a cup of coffee. He heard the lock and latch release and the door open down the hall, and turned his head to watch as their distant voices came closer.
“Halmi-ssi really is thoughtful, getting up so early just to make us food herself instead of the cook.”
“She is really kind, I remember she told me once I reminded her of a son she had, that's why she didn't kick me out when I was too young to be-”
The moment Namjoon came into view, sitting on the couch, they both stopped in their tracks. Truly, deer in the headlights.
Namjoon was casual in comparison, Leg crossed and laid back as he looked at the two children he caught sneaking back in with overnight bags and bruised necks. He grinned and motioned with his coffee mug, raising an eyebrow and eyes twinkling with mirth. "Welcome home, boys."
Jungkook looked so guilty Namjoon could barely keep a straight face, his eyes looking straight at the wall and cheeks flushed red. Jimin wore a matching blush but smiled anyway, rolling his eyes. “Good morning, Appa.”
Namjoon looked at the watch on his wrist, checking the time just to make them nervous, “Everyone should be up in about 20 minutes or so. Hope you had a good night's rest, because we got a lot today, working on the new album.” He peered from over his mug as he took a sip at their guilty expressions.
Oh, he loved this too much.
Jungkook nodded stiffly, still avoiding his gaze as he fixed his hair in a nervous tic. Jimin just smiled, his under-eyes definitely dark but the rest of his skin glowing. He ushered Jungkook in front of him, and as they walked past their leader, Namjoon tapped the side of his cheek in a joking manner. Jungkook just kept walking as he tried to escape to his room, and Jimin spared him a quick peck on the cheek like a good son before running to catch up with Jungkook.
The moment Namjoon heard Jungkook's door shut tight he couldn't help himself and started laughing.
A few minutes later Namjoon heard a shuffling of footsteps down the hall again and smiled as his love came into view. Seokjin looked positively adorable, adorned in blue and white PJs and a soft throw blanket draped over his large shoulders. His hair was in his face and he looked like he just woke up, and he made his way over to the couch to cuddle into Namjoon's side. "Morning."
Namjoon didn't look at him right away because he was finishing up revising his calendar, but he made sure to greet him, “Good morning, love.”
“Did Jimin and Jungkook get back yet?” Jin asked, his voice still adjusting to the morning.
Namjoon smiled, writing down something real quick in his phone before setting it down and pulling him close. “Yep. They looked almost as bad as we did after we got together.”
Jin laughed softly before tilting his face up and puckered his lips, asking for a kiss that Namjoon was happy to oblige.
“Did they say anything? If they were together yet.”
Namjoon shook his head, but smiled encouragingly anyway, “No, but give it a few days. I'm sure it'll happen soon.”
Seokjin yawned, stretching his arms out before curling back into Namjoon and looking up into his eyes. And he didn't know how he got so lucky, how any of this was real. Because Namjoon was grinning and smiling and so sweet and kind, and he was his.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Jungkook took another bite of his lunch before looking over at Taehyung. They were sitting outside the recording studio, just the two of them while the others were inside. His hyung had a devious look on his face, full boxy smile in full effect and bouncing as if he could barely obtain his excitement. Jungkook nodded his head quickly in acknowledgment.
Taehyung bit his lip and pointed with an accusing finger at Jungkook. His index poked his neck innocently, right at the spot where he saw a territorial bruise, right over where he himself had given Jungkook a hickey before. "What's that, huh?”
Jungkook just smiled and looked smug, teeth poking out as he casually shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his food.
Taehyung clapped his hands excitedly and squealed, “Oh my gosh, Kookie, How was it? Did you tell him, was it nice, what did he say? I wanna know all the details!!!”
Jungkook just continued eating his food slowly, ignoring the way Tae grabbed onto his arm and rocked him back and forth. And Taehyung started pouting, realizing that Jungkook was blatantly ignoring him, “Jungkookieeeeeee~”
Yoongi walked into the room with Hoseok at that moment, interrupting Taehyung and saving their youngest, “Jungkook-ah, it's your turn next.”
He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans, and left Taehyung sitting there, pouting.
Jungkook walked casually and proudly over to Hobi and Yoongi, his smile brighter than it'd been in a long time. Hoseok gave him a quick once over, eyes bulging once he noticed the glaring hickey residing on his neck. He pointed directly at it, “Uh, Jung-”
Jungkook just cut him off, and patted his shoulder affectionately, “Thanks, Hobi.”
Once Jungkook was gone, officially leaving them all hanging on the actual details, Hoseok broke out into an excited dance, jumping up and down and holding onto Yoongi. "Yooooooooooongi!!!! They did it, oh my god they did it!"
Yoongi tried to push him off, obviously annoyed at how fucking cheerful he was at this but Hoseok just held on tighter, twisting his body and pulling him close. “Okay, yes, that much is obvious, it's wonderful, it's great, it's super cute, now get the fuck off of me.”
Hoseok gave a comical frown in protest, and Yoongi just sighed. He finally hugged him back, “Hoseok, you're lucky I like you and I'm in such a good mood otherwise I'd punch you in the face.”
The next thing Yoongi knew Tae was on the other side, wrapping his large arms around the two of them and squishing Yoongi's smaller frame in the middle for a group hug. “This is such a good day!!!!”
“Fucking Idiots, both of you!!!!”
For the next couple of days, it was like Jimin and Jungkook were dancing around each other, all shy smiles and heart eyes and gentle touches. And whenever any of the other five were to hint at their rendezvous they were quick to walk away or avoid the subject, wanting to keep their secrets and privacy to themselves at least a little bit longer. Plus, it was so amusing, watching Taehyung and Hoseok grow annoyed at the lack of information and Namjoon and Jin look at them as if expecting answers. And the little, small casual hints were too fun to give up for them.
The seven of them were in dance practice learning new choreography, and Jimin was so out of breath he allowed himself to take a break.
He walked away from the middle of the room and slid against the wall, pushing his hair back and out of his face. He knew this was going to be the most difficult one yet, and if he was having issues then he could only imagine what the others must be feeling right now.
Jimin took a deep breath as he looked up at Jungkook. The youngest crouched down to his level and handed Jimin a bottle of water, giving a sweet smile. He took it gratefully and tried to remind himself to drink slowly so he didn't get sick but it was difficult.
“You okay?” Jungkook asked, and Jimin nodded.
“Yeah,” he grinned, “Just tired.”
Jungkook turned his head, looking across the room before he turned back to Jimin. He grabbed Jimin's free hand, swinging it just the slightest bit and messing with his fingers, “When did you eat last?”
Jimin thought for a moment and shrugged, “I don't know, not that long ago.”
Jungkook let go of his hand and stood up before walking over to the snack table, and Jimin took the moment to look at the others.
Jin and RM were working with J-hope, and V and Suga were standing close, whispering to each other about something that must have been pretty funny. And his heart swelled, looking at everyone, thinking of how he loved all of them somehow, how his heart had made room and adapted so that he could learn and grow and develop as a person. And as much as they hurt him, he also was glad, that he could learn. That they all could learn how to be better people.
His lovers. His family. His brothers. All wrapped in one.
Jimin could die happy now that he heard Jungkook call him his baby.
Jungkook sat down beside his aegiya and handed over an open bag of dried squid snacks. And Jimin could feel everyone's eyes on them, staring, some surprised at hearing Jungkook's bold and confident pet name for him. Even the other boys were staring at them, shit eating grins and unanswered questions on the tip of their tongues. And Jimin would have felt self-conscious, but Jungkook was acting so casual, like the staring didn't affect him in the slightest, resting his arms on his knees and leaning his head back against the wall. He was sweaty, breathing slowly, and downright hot with the casual way his neck extended. And it was just so cool, seeing Jungkook so self-assured but relaxed. Jungkook was cool.
And Jungkook was his.
Jungkook tilted his head toward to look at Jimin, and it was only then that he realized he was staring.
The youngest just gave an amused smile, upper teeth showing as he motioned towards the bag of snacks, “Eat. You'll feel better.”
Jimin turned away and obeyed, nibbling slowly on the squid. He just couldn't keep the happy smile off his face, blushing cutely and pulling his knees closer to hide behind his legs a bit.
Jungkook gave an amused hum, voice a little higher as he spoke, “Gwiyeobda...”
Being called adorable just made Jimin even redder, "Stop it~" He punched Jungkook playfully on the shoulder before peering up at him, squid piece halfway chewed.
Jungkook just looked at him, with all the emotions Jimin never thought possible. Adoration, affection, love... They sparkled and shined in his eyes, small crinkles on each side gracing his features. And Jimin wondered just how he got so lucky, to have someone so perfect choose him.
He'd never take it for granted.
Jungkook reached out with a hand and touched his face, caressing his cheeks before taking his thumb and swiping the corner of his mouth clean. Jimin felt like he could barely breathe, the simple action pulling desire in his body when it wasn't appropriate.
Then Jungkook leaned in close, so close it would be so easy for Jimin to meet him if they weren't in front of everyone else.
“I'll never stop.”
And Jimin knew he meant it.
They knew that eventually, it would come out. And it looked like the others weren't keen on waiting too much longer.
Not that Jimin and Jungkook made it easy for them to keep their mouths shut, no. Their little nuanced behavior was like glaring beacons for the other five. Jungkook never let up on the affectionate pet names as he orbited around Jimin so he could get him anything he wanted. And while Jimin soaked up all the attention from Jungkook like a sponge, he was definitely more standoffish with the others, opting for casual jokes instead of blatant teasing. And then there was the most glaring sign.
Jimin hadn't slept in his own room since they got back, let alone with one of the others. So, of course, they all knew Jimin was with Jungkook every night.
At this point, it was just a matter of finding a way for them to slip up enough to where they had an opening to confront them both.
If you asked Jimin, the fact they lasted a full week being able to dodge everyone's questions was a miracle. And of course, it would be the fact they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other that got them to relent.
Jimin was utterly impressed with how much he'd been able to teach Jungkook about his body in less than a week. He didn't know if it was a testament to Jungkook's learning ability or his own as a teacher; probably both, honestly. It was like he'd been the one in control this whole time, able to start Jungkook as a blank slate that he could write on as he pleased. Teaching him every move, every spot, every touch that drove Jimin wild.
Jungkook continued nipping and marking at Jimin's collarbone before dipping lower as he lifted up Jimin onto the table with a now practiced ease. The moment they had both realized the other five were out of the house and it was just the two of them they just had to take advantage of it. So they started in the living room on the couch and then Jungkook picked him up and moved over to the kitchen table just as an excuse to carry Jimin. He loved how strong Jimin made him feel, how Jimin's tiny yet strong frame and lovely praises made him feel bigger, older, wanted. He loved how he could taste Jimin's clean flesh on his tongue, how his nipples were so sensitive even when he wasn't a girl. Every indent and curve and line, Jungkook had spent every night so far memorizing them all, and now he almost knew Jimin's body like the back of his hand.
It was like Jimin had made Jungook his personal toy, teaching him everything he needed to know in order to drive him wild and nothing more. And Jungkook didn't mind, not one bit. All he needed was Jimin, to be able to see his angel come undone beneath his fingertips.
To be able to worship Jimin in the way he deserved.
Jungkook learned what Jimin's little ways of saying yes were. A groan and head tilt was a maybe, a gasp and a moan was yes. A whimper and a whine most definitely a please.
Like right now, as Jungkook's hands hovered over the hem of his sweatpants that told Jungkook just how turned on he was.
Jungkook smirked as he reached lower and looked up at Jimin, “Sorry aegiya, What was that?”
Jimin groaned as he threaded his hands through Jungkook's already sweaty locks. “You're such a brat. You know that?”
Jungkook liked that somehow, being called a brat. But not as much as he liked Jimin calling him other things. “I'm your brat.”
And Jimin got weirdly sentimental, with Jungkook in between his legs and all the love and youth and adoration reflecting in his eyes. His voice was so soft and gentle Jungkook almost blushed, "You are. You really are.”
For Jungkook, all that mattered was Jimin continued looking and speaking to him like this. Like somehow Jimin was the lucky one instead of Jungkook being blessed by his presence.
Maybe they were both lucky, that they met. That they found each other.
That in this world of coincidences and chances and chaos, a meeting between two people could feel like fate.
Jungkook brought himself to full height once more so he could kiss, slowly, deep, relishing in the feeling of Jimin's tiny hands cradling his face to pull him close. And he heard it, breathy words against his mouth, sighing in pleasure, “Touch me, Jungkookie.”
So he pushed Jimin against his own body as he slid a hand onto his perfect ass, while the other went down the front of his pants.
The reaction was almost immediate and Jimin broke the kiss to throw his head back in pleasure.
God, Jungkook's hand was so much better than his own. He loved how large it was, how it could almost completely cover him and skillfully jerk him off until he was coming undone. Jimin dug his nails into the skin on Jungkook's upper back, picking up the thinnest layer of skin cells and making his lover hiss in the process.
Jungkook started kissing the length of his neck, leaving quick, sucking pecks all the way back to his mouth, and Jimin tilted his head back down to meet him and press their lips together. He was moaning, toes curling, crying out just from Jungkook's touch and he needed more.
They broke apart and Jungkook stared at his lover, his pupils blown out and his heart beating in his throat. And Jungkook bit his lip suggestively as he pulled Jimin's sweats just underneath the perky swell of his ass.
“Lemme try sucking you off again?”
The thought went straight to Jimin's erection and he eagerly nodded as it twitched in anticipation. Because there was nothing better than Jungkook learning how to suck dick, watching him figure out the right ways to hollow his cheeks and carefully caress the organ with his tongue.
Jungkook never fails twice, that's for sure.
Jimin was so wired in anticipation as he watched Jungkook go down that he almost didn't hear Jin's screaming voice.
“Oh no no no, no way in hell are you two rabbits fucking in my kitchen, Jimin get your bare ass off my table!!!”
Jimin just sat there frozen still, heart racing in a way he wasn't used to at being caught. But he also hadn't been caught doing anything since...
Luckily Jungkook moved fast, picking up his discarded jacket off the floor and lifting Jimin so his pants could be put back on probably. The moment Jimin was covered he started breathing easier, focusing on Jungkook and how attentive he was to Jimin's needs and the gentle, shy smile resting on his features.
He spoke low and soft, commanding and sure in an almost comforting way as he handed over his jacket, “Dangshin, put this on.”
There was an audible gasp from the other five members who piled into the kitchen as Jungkook helped Jimin into his coat and onto his feet.
“Thank you, Jungkook-ah.” Jimin smiled up at his lover and grinned, pulling the oversized jacket close to his body while basking in the affectionate pet name. Everyone else tried to process how Jimin wasn't mad whatsoever at being referred to as Dangshin, and the only possible way was if Jungkook and Jimin actually were an item, an exclusive pair, a set that came together from now on.
Jungkook didn't pay any attention to the obvious shock on the other member's faces, however, and instead brought a hand up to play with the back of Jimin's hair as he addressed Jin's previous statement, “You have no room to talk, I saw you sitting your ass here with Namjoon trying to rail you less than a month ago when you just got this table.”
Namjoon was blushing behind Jin's shoulder, obviously, the only one of the two with shame as Jin continued to argue, "My kitchen, My table, my ass, my rules. I could fuck on the counter-tops if I wanted to, I'm the only one cooking on them!!!"
While Hoseok and Taehyung were holding onto each other and laughing, Yoongi let out a loud groan in despair as the flopped onto the couch at end of the connected area, “I'm never eating or making a meal cooked in this household ever again.”
Jimin giggled behind his hand, slipping away from Jungkook to go sit on the love seat and pull his legs up.
Once Taehyung's and Hoseok's laughter died down they both composed themselves enough to join Jimin and Yoongi in the sitting area while Jin dramatically pulled out some disinfectant spray and a washcloth to wipe the table down. Namjoon sighed as he sat in the single sofa, and Jimin was making a grabbing motion to Jungkook as if he was some sort of baby.
Jungkook thought it was the cutest thing ever, Jimin needy and wanting affection and company even in front of the others. So he obeyed and walked over, sitting beside Jimin as he pulled him close and latched on. Jimin fit perfectly laying against his back, and Jungkook closed his eyes and hummed softly as he rested his chin on Jimin's shoulder.
Nothing could be more perfect than this.
“Soooooo,” Taehyung began the conversation, unable to contain his grin from spreading on his face as he looked at Jimin and Jungkook, “Does this mean you guys are sleeping together now?”
Jimin just chuckled, fixing his hair and blushing, “What do you think, Sherlock?”
Yoongi sighed, “Of course they're fucking, Taehyung. They've been fucking all damn week and I haven't been able to get an ounce of sleep because of it.”
Jungkook would feel bad if he was a better person, but he wasn't.
Jimin just pouted, “But hyung, it's not like we can sleep in my room, Hoseok's there.”
Yoongi just glared, “Then I will personally buy you guys a gag so that Jungkook can keep his fucking mouth shut. I did not need to hear what he sounded like having an orgasm.”
Jimin just grinned, “He sounds amazing, you know it.”
Jungkook hid his face behind Jimin's neck, along with a blush and a smile. “I'll try to be quieter, Yoongi-hyung.”
Hoseok smiled, “If you guys want you're more than welcome to borrow anything of mine, too.”
Jungkook laughed, bringing his head up to raise an eyebrow at Hobi, “We'll pass. Thanks, though.”
Jin set down the cleaning supplies to join Namjoon on the single seat, sitting on the armrest and resting a hand across his shoulder as he relaxed. Namjoon smiled, welcoming, encouraging, giving Jimin and Jungkook sparkles in his eyes as he asked, “So, does this mean you guys are exclusive?”
"Yeah," Hoseok added, "We've all waited a full week for you guys to tell us the news, and I wanna know if I need to help you clear out your stuff from my room or if you're gonna be still staying with me."
Jimin couldn't keep the happiness off his face if he tried, but Jungkook felt himself go stiff. Because even though Jimin said he wouldn't be sleeping with the others, it was different when the moment arises. Jimin could still back out, could still tell Jungkook that he wanted to be with other people, that after a week, Jungkook still wasn't up to par.
Jimin took one of Jungkook's hands wrapped around his waist and stroked the back of it with his thumb. Gentle, sweet, calming. Reassuring.
“Sorry, Hobi-hyung.” Jimin spoke, unable to hold back anymore, “Jungkook's dick is just so much bigger than yours, I think I'm good with just him from now on.”
The happiness in Jungkook's heart overflowed until he was pouring it into Jimin, giving him kisses on the cheek and hugging him tight while the other squirmed and laughed underneath him.
Taehyung and Hoseok were so excited they pulled Yoongi in for a human sandwich, much to the older's reluctant joy. Namjoon and Jin were exchanging proud looks before clapping excitedly and Jimin and Jungkook blushed under all the praise and attention.
Hobi paused in the middle of his excitement, having just processed what Jimin said completely, “Wait, you're just kidding about the whole 'his dick is bigger than yours' thing, right?”
Jimin rolled his eyes, "Oh my God, of course, I'm joking. I'm not going to seriously compare your guys' dick sizes. That would be mean and I'm not one to talk. Besides, we all know Taehyung is the biggest one here."
Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, pulling a silly face, “Hell yeah, I am.”
Jungkook tilted Jimin's head so he could speak in his ears, not really quiet but definitely low and suggestive, "I think your dick is perfect for me, Jimin-ah."
The others wolf whistled while Jimin turned to hit Jungkook in the chest, laughing. But he just smiled and took it, because, well, he wasn't wrong. Jimin really wasn't small at all, and he most certainly knew how to use it. Jungkook was surprised he could move at all on Sunday.
They'd have to do it again, on a day when they didn't have any plans.
Jin stood up, clapping dramatically and sarcasm dripping from his voice, "Congratulations, you two, on finally getting your shit together and confessing. And a special round of applause to our baby Jungkook who is finally a man now! We're all so proud and moved at your strength and tenacity-" Jin interrupted himself as a brilliant thought came to his mind, "I should cook as a celebration tonight!!! Namjoon-ah, what all do we have in the fridge?"
Yoongi immediately protested, pulling out his phone, “Oh no, you aren't cooking shit anymore, I'm ordering us a pizza.”
Jimin could hear the cheering, the screaming, the roar of fans and people waiting for them to go on. Thousands. Tens of Thousands. The World.
He felt his breath catch in his throat, the ever too familiar nerves swelling up inside his body. The stage would open up and he'd rise, with his other six members, his brothers, his family. And it was always a rush, but it was always a panic. Because would he ever be good enough? Would he make them happy? Could they go home and say they were moved?
Could he belong to The World, too?
He felt a gentle hand on his hip, one he was all too familiar with now. One that rubbed comforting circles into the small sliver of flesh peeking from his white shirt and jeans. One that promised comfort, love, home.
Jimin turned his head and gazed into Jungkook's eyes. Brown eyes warm and welcoming, sweet and kind and loving. And it was like the noise around them didn't matter anymore. And there were promises spoken and unspoken, promises they probably couldn't keep but would try their best to fulfill. There were song lyrics and sleepless nights and touches and laughter and hope for better days. There was The World, in front of him, in front of them both.
Yes, he could. They both could. Belong.
To the World. To each other.
Thank you all so much for reading. Please, lemme know what you think, I'm open to all sorts of discussions and I hope you all enjoyed reading this just as much as I did writing it. I'm also thinking of making some side stories in this same universe, ones that can be read separately from this fic but are still a part of this canon. So let me know if there is anything you'd be interested in seeing!!! I have a few ideas in mind myself haha. Thank you once again, and please, Love Yourself Xxx