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Jurassic Park: River Adventure

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It was a sunny morning at Jurassic Park, the daylight just peeking out from behind the vegetation. The prehistoric inhabitants began to wake up, as their handlers did as well.

Valerie Monroe, or as she was called around work, Val, unlocked the front gates. "Welcome... to Jurassic Park," a motion activated voice said, but Val just grunted, putting her sunglasses and toque on. 

About five minutes later, the rest of the group of employees began to show up. Adam grinned as he spotted his boyfriend, Bret Gustaf "Gus" Robertson, setting up the line up for the main attraction at the park in which they worked, the river adventure. It was an experience where guests could leisurely float by dinosaurs for a close look into the past, where time flowed like a river through a new born world, and giants walked the earth. Seeing as it was the park's most popular narrated tour, Bret always opened there first and made sure the line ropes were in check before the park hours began.

Adam Parker was security, and maintained quality assurance checks throughout the day, by foot or by boat. Bounding up, the blonde haired man threw his arms around his tall, brunette boyfriend. Bret laughed, adjusting his black beanie.

"Hey, Jurassic Parker," Bret smiled, giving Adam a quick kiss and a cuddle, "Have a good night?"

"Yeah, but I missed my Chiminey." Bret rolled his eyes. Adam was convinced Bret looked just like Burt from Mary Poppins, so called him that. He always said Bret should have skipped a job at Jurassic, and went for one at Disney World playing Burt. "Only if you'd be my Mary Poppins," Bret always replied.

Just then, Terrance Eden-Spielberg, the nephew of director Stephen Spielberg, came in with a box of pizza, whistling.

"Adam! Bretty White. How are you guys?" He called Bret that because of Bret's secret love of Golden Girls.

"What's in the box?" Adam asked their friend eagerly.

"Leftovers," Terry said, opening it, "From last night. Great party. You want some?"

"Could I? Ohgodthankyou. All I had for breakfast were mozzarella sticks."

Bret almost had a fit. He turned around, finger at the ready for wagging.

"Adam H. Parker, that is NOT breakfast!”

“Well, it was for me. On top of that, my oven stopped working so I had to use my microwave. The ones that didn't blow up were like eating malleable rubber covered in sand.”

“Babe, I asked you if you wanted some tacos last night,” Bret moaned.

"I wasn't hungry then," Adam said, blushing, "Plus, I don't want to inconvenience you, having to give me food, y’know."

Bret looked ready to blow up at his boyfriend again, so thankfully Terry stepped in again. "Hey, so I got a new episode of Lie To Me!"

"Is it good?" Bret asked as they turned the corner in the line-up, the tall man hooking up the chains. He was nice, so he pretended to care about a show he’d never once watched in his life.

“Don’t know, haven’t started it yet. Once I get everything set up in the booth, I’ll throw it on.”

“Will you?” They all turned to find their boss standing there.

“Val,” Adam chirped, beaming, “Good morning! Nice shades.”

Val looked over, her massive shades basically covering her entire face. They didn’t cover her scowl though, and the rest of her body was blanketed by an oversized sweater, her long hair running down over it. She looked as if she had just rolled out of bed after taking a hammer to her alarm clock-- so, nothing was out of the ordinary with her.

“Just don’t screw anything up today,” she yawned, starting to walk away to her office, “I’m not in the mood.” The door slammed, and Terry huffed.

Valium’s not gonna do anything if I watch Lie to Me up there. Nobody’s gonna be the wiser.”

“Except, you know… the two people you’ve already told,” Bret nudged Adam, as the smaller blonde adjusted his name tag.

“Yeah, but you two wouldn’t dream of selling your favourite person out,” Terry opened his arms, and Bret reluctantly nodded.

“Actually, my favourite person is Rosie,” Adam said.

“Oh yeah?” Bret crossed his arms nervously, inching closer to his boyfriend. “Who… who's Rosie?”

“The first tagged Hadrosaur over in the cove! You know they're my favorite,” Adam beamed, hanging onto Bret's arm, and Bret's heart just about melted.

“Yeah, well, Rosie's not a person, so she doesn't count,” Terry said, and blew them both kisses, turning to head up to his position manning the carnivorous area.

“Move, peasants.” A brunette with his nose up pushed through the group of employees, and Bret tried not to feel sick.

“Morning, Edward.”

Ed looked up from his compact mirror. “How dare you speak to me? How dare you look at me?!”

“New part in a movie you’re rehearsing for?” Adam asked happily.

“What makes you think he’s acting?” Terry muttered. They parted and let Edward step across the rafts waiting for the guests, and unlocked his control booth. He kept the tours running smoothly, and controlled the effects like the fountains, lights, and speakers that allowed guests to hear the narration. It was only a temporary job though, he assured them all each day-- he was a model, just waiting to be discovered.

“Who was in here last?!” Edward shouted, “There’s… popcorn grease all over my buttons! Wait until I tell Kate about this!” Kate was Ed’s supermodel girlfriend.

“Sorry, I was manning the main panel last night,” Terry said, completely stone-faced.

“The question is, how did you manage to grease every single button?!” Ed made a face.

“The real question is, am I actually sorry?” Terry smirked, and headed out for his station. Brett and Adam laughed, and Adam planted a kiss on the taller man’s cheek.

“Out for patrol,” he said, “See you later.”

“Okay. Be careful,” Bret reminded.

“We work at a theme park full of dinosaurs. How careful can I be?” Adam grinned, and sauntered off into the brush to do his routine safety checks. Bret smiled after his boy, and whistled to himself as he waited for Val to unlock the front gates. If she even made the effort to do so today.

He wasn't surprised over how busy it got-- first theme park in the world to have live dinosaurs, relics of the past, would obviously boast booming crowds. Plus, today was sunny and warm, and tourists always loved going on the river adventure tour through the herbivore exhibit on sunny days, since the Hadrosaurs were almost always sure to get a few good splashes in. He sighed, taking it all in.

Yeah. Today was going to be a good day. He wished Adam could work the lines with him, but he was good at what he did. Plus, he'd probably get nothing done-- he'd probably ignore the guests, in favor of staring at Adam all day. He was so glad Adam caught on to his flirtations a year ago when he did... Bret would never have had the courage to ask the sunshine boy out himself if Adam hadn't suggested they go out.

Bret had pretty low self-esteem, but Adam helped him feel better about himself. Most people thought he was a dork, since he was tall, lanky, always spewed random trivia and seemed to have endless knowledge of the nerdiest things. He was big into archaeology, which is why he wanted to work here. He'd been working here for about four years, and when Adam came on as the new security manager, Bret wanted to die. The new guy was so cute! Every time he had talked to Adam, he stuttered, lost his train of thought, or blushed harder than possible. Anyone would be an idiot not to notice how he felt about Adam, but Bret never expected the other boy to like him back. It had been the happiest day of his life when they had gone for pizza and milkshakes after work that day.

At 5 to 9, guests began streaming in. The first two to approach the ride were regulars-- Bret recognized them immediately.

“You two!” he grinned. 

“Hi Bret,” Corinne and Natalie chimed, getting in line.

“Well, there's no one here yet. Why don't you two pick whichever row you want.”

“Thanks,” Natalie smiled. They got in the very back, as it was the best to take in all the sights of the tour. As he was making sure their safety bars were secure, Bret scratched his black toque.

“How many days have you been coming here now?”

“This is our fourth,” Corinne told him.

“You know… why don't you guys visit someplace with fun rides and stuff? Jurassic is great, but… you do nothing but go on this ride over and over. You've even broken the marriage proposal couple’s record of 62 times!”

Corinne and Natalie high fived.

“--Why don't you guys go to... oh, I don't know, Universal Studios or somethin'?”

“Nah. We'd miss you if we did,” Corinne said, and the boat started. Bret shook his head, and waved fondly as they headed off. He really did enjoy them. Edward watched through the cameras, and made sure the dinosaurs were all awake in his monitors. Corinne winked at him through the camera on the way up.

Over a few yards away in the bushes, Adam hummed to himself as he checked everything off on the list attached to his clipboard.

Gates in Ultrasaur Lagoon? Secure.

Ultrasaurs? Risen and shone, all up and ready to face the day. 

“Morning, Psitta,” Adam smiled, waving to the little Psittacosauras hiding in the grass. It gave a little noise, and he laughed. “And how’s my favourite Stegasaurus?” The Steg gave a little growl of greeting, and Adam hopped up onto the grassy rope that connected to the rocks above the little rush of water that cascaded over them. He checked to make sure all the Ultrasaurs were awake and roaming, then headed on to Hadrosaur Cove, his favourite.

The sun beat down as Terry climbed the steps to his station in the Carnivore containment area. They opened this area sometimes, but not for the River Adventure guests. It was a separate attraction called Raptor Encounter. Terry sometimes worked that one, since he was their expert on carnivorous dinos. But today, a sunny day, most people were expected to ride the River, so he was stationed here to make sure this area remained closed off.

Terry took out his pasta, and set the last slice of pizza away for later. He took out his Ipad, and started the newest episode of Lie To Me he had downloaded, and, making sure the area was on secure lockdown, began watching his show.

Adam hid behind the bushes in Hadrosaur Cove, and shook them as guests floated by. Some pointed and huddled closer to one another, scared of rogue dinosaurs stalking them, but two of the guests knew who it was.

“Hey, Adam!” they shouted, and he popped out.

“Oh. Hey you two! You know all my tricks by now, don’t you?”

Meanwhile, Bret stood at the front of the lineup back at the entrance, snapping his fingers along to a song in his head, a Limp Bizkit song. Adam constantly told him that Limp Bizkit sucked, but that was one thing they agreed to disagree on.

“How many? I’ll get you three in row 2… 4? I’ll get you in row 5.” He came to a tiny little girl, who wanted to sit in the front. She would fly right out! “Uh…” he checked her height, but she seemed to check out. “Alright. Row 1. Just hold on, okay?”

At the end, Val clapped unenthusiastically. “ WelcomebackcongratulationsandenjoytherestofyourdayhereatJurassicPark,” she slurred, caring not that nobody could understand her.

The day went on, more people coming around mid-day, then leaving around 4. The park always got quiet at night, and Corinne and Natalie loved it. Bret directed them right to the back seat, and they thanked him. Ed sat across from them in the booth, fixing his hair. Val had fallen asleep standing at the exit.

Nearing late afternoon, Adam prepared to go for his third and final check of the River Adventure. By this time, Edward had had to tell a record number of 56 people to put away their phones and cameras throughout the day.

“How’re you doing?” Bret asked Adam.

“Never better, baby.” They kissed, and Adam jogged off to do one more check, hopping in the patrol boat this time. He drove through the coves, and got to Terry’s section, parking it and walking up. Terry was texting his uncle, Steven Spielberg.



Uncle Steve: Looking for a new movie idea :/ can’t think of anything

Terry: What about something with the park I work at? Dinosaurs n stuff

Uncle Steve: Eh. Something pretty big would have to happen with a T-Rex or something for me to wanna do that.

“Heya,” Adam entered, and Terry turned.

“Heyyy, Jurassic Parker, how’s the day?”

“Only my boyfriend gets to call me that. Anyway, I'm pretty good. You?”

“Awesome,” Terry shook his head, “God, I love Cal.”

Adam took a peek. “He’s pretty hot, but he’s no Bret.” Terry snorted. Adam suddenly noticed something odd moving down below on the tracks, and patted Terry on the shoulder. “Be right back.”

“You got it! Hey dude, you want this last slice of pizza?”

Adam smiled, and took it. “Thanks. I’m still pretty hungry after those mozza sticks.”

Over at the loading zone for River Adventure, Bret pulled his toque down further over his head, and let a motley crue of people in. There was Corinne and Natalie of course in the back, but four tall men with painted blue skin and no eyebrows took the next row up.

“Hello,” one said in a monotone voice to the two girls, “How are you?” They sounded almost like robots.

The two exchanged looks, and turned back to the unblinking blue man group. “Hey. Good.”

“What are the two of you doing here in beautiful, sunny Orlando?”

“Oh, just hanging out on vacation,” Corinne said.

“Yeah. We haven’t seen each other in two years. Why are you here?” Natalie asked in conversation.

The blue men exchanged cryptic glances. “To serve man.” Weird answer. Weird makeup. The two girls avoided them, getting into the fifth row behind them. Before the raft could leave, four artistic looking people came through the lineup.

“All I’m saying is, relinquishing creative control on that Dwight Yoakam project back in Hollywood seriously harshed my mellow,” the one with the red hair said. She stood next to a shorter guy, who ran fast for the raft when he saw it.

“Chill man!” another guy with blue and black hair called, and the shorter guy with the Afro slowed down. The other three caught up, and black hair guy turned to a tall woman with blue hair and a low cut shirt. He started filming her with a video camera he had taken out. “Location scouting for the new Kanye remix of Rainbow Connection music video, take one.” The woman, named Jenny, scowled, and put a hand in front of his camera lens.

“Get that off me. My eyebrows look horrible today.”

“I don’t care what your eyebrows look like,” Chad grinned, “After we finish this scouting, you wanna grab a drink later?” Jenny glared.

“This is a professional relationship, Chad.”

"But Jenny--" 

Bret looked at them, interrupting politely. “'Scuse me. How many?”

“Four,” Claudia, the woman with the red hair, said. Bret nodded.

“You’re gonna have to take your cowboy hat off, ma’am. And sir, the camera’s gonna have to go away.”

“Oh, we’re video producers,” Chad explained.

“From the music industry, man,” Frank added, making a ‘cowabunga’ symbol with his fingers.

Bret just stared. “...That's neat, really, but be that as it may guys, it’s the rules of the ride. Some of the dinos are camera shy! We just wanna make sure you’re safe as can be.”

“Let me deal with this,” Jenny muttered, “Listen--” she glanced at his nametag, “Gus. Do you know who we are?”

“Name’s Bret,” Bret said, “But my middle name’s Gus, you're pretty good at guessing!”

“Is there a problem?" Val grumbled, walking over from the exit, "Cause I really don't like problems."

“Yeah,” Jenny huffed, “We wanna record for our music video. We're working with KANYE.”

“Music video?!” Edward shouted from the control booth, "Kanye West? He's an asshole, but he's famous." He obsessively applied makeup.

“Look. Unless you've got a permit, it’s park policy,” Val sighed, wishing she was dead, “I’m gonna have to call Adam to have you removed for security reasons if you don’t comply.” She almost-- almost-- cracked a smile at the idea of tiny little Adam escorting anyone out of the park. He’d never had to before, and he was much better with dinosaurs than he was with people.

“Fine,” Jenny seethed, “But this isn't the last of it.” They got on in the front and second row, and all four of them shouted: “Let’s hit it! Hasta!” Bret walked over.

“Pull down and push up on the lap bar… and--”

“We know,” Jenny said, “Remember to keep our head back against the seat while the ride is in motion.”

“What?” Frank asked from behind.

“And remember to keep your head back against the seat while the ride is in motion,” Jenny repeated, feeling a little like she was rewinding. Frank pushed up on his, and found that it was way too tight, since Claudia had pulled it down.

“TUMMY CHECK ON AISLE TWO!” he called, waving frantically, and Bret frowned. What the hell was with these guys? He loosened the bar a little, and got the raft going. As they were lifted up the first hill to begin the ride, Edward’s voice came over the speakers.

“Please keep your hands arms and feet inside the boat. And to the music producers in the raft, my name is Edward Leeds and my headshot is readily available at the exit.”

Corinne and Natalie held hands as the raft began to float toward the doors. “Time,” they quoted with the voice in their speakers, “The ever flowing river. Come with us now, to a time before man. Where the river flowed through a new born world, and giants walked the earth. Welcome… to Jurassic Park.”

They floated by the Ultrasaurs.

“...These gentle giants pose no threat to us.”

“Next upon our tour, is Hadrosaur Cove.”

As they floated toward it however… the track broke off a different way.

“Aww,” Natalie said, “I wanted to see Hadrosaur Cove.”

“This is weird,” Corinne remarked over the sounding of an alarm, “We’ve never been in here before.”

From down below the raptor containment area, Adam frantically tried to contact Terry up in the booth through his boat radio.

“Paging Terrance Eden… paging animal control! This is a CP25! There are loose carnivores in the raptor containment area! We’ve gotta get those people out of there! Do you copy Terry?!” He desperately tried his walkie talkie as well, without luck. He let out a shout as he hit something on the track, and crashed the boat into the wall of the containment area. He heard growling behind him, and turned around slowly.

Up in the booth, Terry slapped the desk, mouth full of pasta. “He flinched! The bodyguard flinched! I swear to god, I’m better at this than Lightman. Get that man OUT OF THE WEDDING.”

He suddenly looked down, and saw a red button flashing. Oh, shoot. He had forgotten to enable communication controls that morning.

“Oops. This is Terrance Eden-Spielberg C905, what’s your message, over?” He cringed, hoping it was something like, a tourist dropped a churro in the water in front of the Ultrasaurs. Last time that happened, the big mama was vomiting green all day.

“Cshhh-- err--- ac--- ate!” Why weren’t the communications working? Something must’ve chewed through the security systems! Probably that rogue Stegasaurus that kept climbing up the rocks. 

Terry frowned. “Request repeat, over. Bretty? You punking me? Not funny dude, I'm at a really good part in my episode.”

Down in the crashed boat, Adam swallowed. In front of him, two tiny compsognathus dinos snapped their teeth at him. Adam nodded, took off his tan shirt with his name tag attached, and tossed it to them. He also tossed his slice of pizza, and climbed away from them as fast as he could. As he ran up the track into the indoor area of the containment area, the alarm blared around him. He tried the failing walkie talkie again.

“Cshhh-- em--er-- cy! Ev--a--cuate!!”

“Evacuate…” Terry frowned. What could that m… “Evacuate. Evacuate!” Then his eyes got wide, noticing a raft on the security cam out of bounds… in his bounds. “Stop the boat!”

The raft continued to float through the restricted area, and Corinne and Natalie knew something was up. They looked to their left, and saw a shirt being tugged back and forth between two tiny carnivores. Corinne squinted.

“I don’t have my glasses on, what does that name tag say?” she asked. Natalie looked, and gasped.



They continued the climb upward, and saw Terry to the left in the booth, trying to talk to them. “Stop the boat! Get those people out of there.” A raptor slashed at the metal fence beside them.

“Woah,” Jenny said, “Are you getting this?!” Chad whipped out the giant video camera, desperate to win her approval. Edward winced as he watched the boat from the entrance on the cams.

“I know you guys are music producers and everything… and I toootally still want that job, buuut I’m obligated to tell you to put that awa… wait a second. WHY ARE YOU ALL IN THE RAPTOR CONTAINMENT AREA?! TERRANCE!!!”

Corinne and Natalie were starting to get worried. This wasn’t how it worked. This was supposed to be a nice, peaceful ride. Above them, a huge crate containing live raptors shook free, and the boat just missed it as it came crashing down into the water.

“All park security systems are shut down,” Terry told them frantically, and they looked over to see he was now tied up by sparking electric wire. “If anyone can hear me, stop the boat.”

It was too late for that. The water rushed underneath them, bringing them forward. They must be very high up by now, and everything looked like it was malfunctioning.

Suddenly, a dilophosaurus popped up on either side of the boat. They shot poison from their mouth, and the two girls in the back leaned down, dodging it. Frank caught it in the face, the poison burning through his cool sunglasses.

“AHHHHHH!!! MY EYES, dude!” he shouted.

“Chill man,” Chad said, filming in the other direction.  

Corinne and Natalie came up just in time to see the Blue Man Group also get poison sprayed in their face… but the blue didn’t wash off their bodies, and they remained un-phased. Their heads all turned completely around to face them, their eyes glowing white.

“Oh no,” Corinne whispered. “They’re aliens.”

“To serve man,” Natalie deduced, “It’s a cookbook!” They both screamed, and the boat suddenly teetered on the edge of a very high drop. They were over Thunder Falls!

“Hold on!” someone behind them shouted, and they looked back to see a shirtless Adam on the grassy rope, hanging from the beams. “Grab my hand!”


Before they could, a giant T-Rex came out of the darkness in front of them, and bit off the whole first half of the boat where the four music producers were sitting, chewing on them. The Blue Man Group looked at one another, and noped right out of there, disappearing into thin air. Corinne, holding Natalie’s hand tightly, reached to grab onto Adam, but their fingers slipped… and the two went hurdling over the falls, screaming and clutching onto each other.

In a huge splash at the bottom, the two were tossed into the water. A few seconds later, Natalie came up for air.

“Where are my glasses?” she asked in a panic, and found they had fallen on a nearby rock. She swam over, doing the breaststroke, and Corinne came up as well. “Do the scissor kick!” Natalie shouted over.

“I can’t do the scissor kick, I told you at the pool!” she shouted back. “I’m gonna butterfly!” She butterflied over to Natalie.

“That was a really good butterfly.”

“Thanks.” The two swam to the rocks, catching their breath. Adam appeared behind them in the water, cradling a duck he had saved from a raptor.

“You guys okay?” They both nodded, and Bret came running over from the lines. He jumped in, not caring if his toque got wet, and hugged his boyfriend tightly, kissing him all over the face.


“I'm fine! Baby, I'm fine. Hey, somebody’s gotta go untie Terry,” Adam laughed between kisses, “I didn’t have time to, trying to save these guys.”

“What happened to the others?” Bret asked, looking at the two left. Corinne and Natalie looked sheepish.


“Let’s just say…”

“T-Rex,” Adam finished, and Bret sighed.

“It’s okay, I guess. There’s only been one recorded accident like this before, and that was in the previous, original Jurassic Park over in Singapore where approximately 900--”

“No time for stats, baby,” Adam whispered.

“Right. Well, all the other guests in that boat were jerks. I’m just glad you guys didn’t die,” Bret smiled at the two girls, who nodded. They were pretty glad they were alive too.

As the four water-logged people dried themselves out at the lineup exit, Val came trudging over.

“Alright, give me the sparknotes version. What happened, who died, any survivors gonna sue?”

“We don’t need to sue,” Natalie shrugged.

“Yeah. Minus the detour, it was still a pretty fun day, as usual,” Corinne said.

“Eight people died,” Bret winced.

“Any body parts need cleaning up?” Val groaned.

“Probably an arm or two,” Bret said.

“And my uniform’s back there too,” Adam pointed out, shivering, "There are also dinosaurs loose all over the park." Bret draped his black vest over the small blonde. Val rolled her eyes back so far they almost got stuck, but no one noticed, since she was wearing those giant sunglasses still.

“Great. This day just keeps getting better and better.”

“Remember to help Terry!” Adam called, and Edward burst out of his booth.

“Where’d they go?!” He was dressed to impress, waiting with his resume and headshots in hand.

“Oh, the producers? They died,” Bret nodded, “Yeah. Horribly.” Edward threw a little hissy fit, and stomped away, opening up his phone to call Kate and tell her all about it.

“Well,” Bret said, letting Adam rest on his shoulder, “Let’s go back to mine. I’ve had just about enough of this park for today. Until tomorrow.” He kissed Adam, and Adam held up a finger.

“Hey Chiminey-- can we get pizza and milkshakes first at The Burger Digs?”

“You bet, Jurassic Parker. You bet.”  

“Should we text Terry? See if he’s alright?”

“Tomorrow. He’s probably back to watching Lie To Me by now.” His phone buzzed, and he took it out, opening the message where it was sent to the work group chat. "What do ya know? It's Terry." 



Terry: Dudes! Guess what?! My Uncle Steven's gonna make a movie about today!

Bret: Hey, that's great Terry! :) 

Terry: Yeah. Ps sorry about letting the raptors out 

Terry: but at least something good came of it! it's gonna be an awesome film

Edward: I think you were very brave, Terry. I certainly don't blame you for the mishap. xx

Terry: Go cry to your gf, Nedward. yer not getting a part in my uncle's movie


Val: Finally