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What Makes You Happy

Summary:

You do so many things for The Joker and what you usually get back is attitude. Very frustrating to deal with, especially after his latest stunt. Makes one wonder if it’s really worth it…

Notes:

You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

Work Text:

“Take whatever makes you happy,” Max points out towards all the riches in the warehouse as a reward for helping him. His two sons were captured by the SWAT team and you used everything you’ve got to get them out of jail; it was very hard since they were taken to Belle Reve but you managed anyway. No choice because you had only one goal in mind: to get your Joker back.

He is actually tight up on a chair in the back of the huge room, busted lip and a few bruises. Max thought The Clown Prince of Crime was responsible for his sons’ bad luck and captured him, refusing to release the prisoner no matter what. You don’t really mess with Max; he owns Los Angeles. That’s why you took it upon yourself to work something out.

“Whatever makes me happy?” you repeat, distrait.

“Yes. You know I mean it when I say it.” It’s true: Max is actually one of the few mob leaders that has what it’s called honor among thieves and you are counting on it.

“I want him!” you point towards your man.

“You want him?! Are you serious?! He’s an asshole!” Max snaps, not understanding what the hell is wrong with you.

“U-hum,” you nod your head, being the first one to admit it.

“He makes you happy?! Must be the worst boyfriend ever!”

“You can say that again…” you sigh, glaring at J that pretends not to notice your presence. Always such a cheer.

“You can literally have anything you want in here: money, diamonds, gold, weapons,” he tries to renegotiate. “Take your pick, as much as you want, whatever makes you happy,” Max punches his fists together, sucking on his cheeks.

“I want him,” you insist, really hoping you don’t have to start a war between LA and Gotham; this is precisely what you are trying to avoid.

“He’s a jerk !” Max raises his voice, annoyed you are so persistent in your request.

“Yeap,” you frown, wondering why in the world you are so stupid.

“Why do you keep on hanging in there by his side?! Jasper (that’s his oldest) always had a thing for you - it’s no secret. I would love for you to be my daughter-in-law. Just give up on this hopeless case, hm?”

You scratch your neck, debating, yet still…

“Max, you said whatever makes me happy. I returned your sons, didn’t I?”

“You did,” he huffs, upset you twisted stuff in your favor.

“I don’t think J’s at fault here,” you try to defend your boyfriend, even if you are 70% sure he was involved.

“Of course not,” Max sarcastically replies. “Forever innocent, right?”

“Please?” you interrupt, getting nervous a bit. “I just want him, nothing else you have in here.”

The Joker pouts, stretching in his chains; he can probably hear the conversation and would love to comment but doesn’t since he wishes to get out of there also.

“Seriously, Y/N, you have to reconsider your relationship,” the mobster growls and signals you to go for it. “The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve you!”

“I know…” you bite your lip, realizing he’s 100% correct. “Thank you,” you touch his arm, grateful he didn’t back out on his word.

You walk towards J and stop in front of him. Ahhh, he seems pissed. Why not?!

“Hi baby,” you smile, dropping on your knees in front of him, starting to unlock the chains.

“Hi,” he grouchily mutters, cracking his shoulders.

“Did you miss me?” you inquire, avoiding his gaze.

“You left me here for a week !” he blurs out and your hands stop. “What took you so long?! The Joker can’t be treated like this; they’re all dead!!!! And NO, I didn’t miss you!!” he hisses, enraged.

“You will do nothing,” you calmly reply, continuing your task. “LA is our main business partner. For once, just swallow your pride and let go. I fixed the mess so don’t ruin it for us, OK?”

“Whatever!” J grumbles, already having some ideas on how to get revenge.

“Did you get into a fight? What happened?” You are 95 % sure The Joker initiated trouble, Max wouldn’t have hurt him. Since J is who he is, the LA boss is aware what killing or damaging the King of Gotham would bring upon his gang.

“I got into a brawl with Jasper,” he sniffles, not excited to admit.

“Did you?! I just returned him and his brother yesterday! That’s why they chained you?”

He doesn’t answer and you finally set him free. My God, does he seem bitter or what?! He lingers in his chair; surely wants to clear something up:

“I hate Jasper, he wants you for himself!”

“Are you…for reals?!” you pucker your lips, keeping it down. “We dated years ago, when we were in our 20’s. Does it…does it indicate you were involved with the boys ending up at Belle Reve?!”

“Maybe…” he snarls and gets up, pacing with you following closely.

“Jesus, J ! Do you know all I had to do to get them out of there in order to trade them for you?! Belle Reve is no county prison!!!”

“That’s your problem, not mine!” The Joker barks.

“Wha’ ?!” You are stunned; truly unbelievable!

A few henchmen open the heavy metal doors and you are outside at last. You grab J’s hand and he doesn’t squeeze it back.

“Hold my hand, baby, “ you urge him , aggravated by the whole crap that could have been easily avoided if not for his whims and jealousy.

“No, I don’t want to!” he almost yells.

“Hold my hand J !”

“NO!!!!!”

You let go and he continues to march towards the car where Frost awaits. You stay behind, disappointed and take a deep breath, returning to the hideout. The gigantic metal door is still opened and you sneak back in.

The Joker realizes you are not by his side anymore and looks behind to see what you’re doing.

“Y/N ?!?” he shouts when the door closes behind you. He gets exasperated and returns to the gate, banging his fists against it.

“Get back here, Princess !!!!” J screams, not understanding why you’re acting up.

The small window at eye level opens up and Max’s face pops up.

“What do you want?”

“Give me back my woman!” your boyfriend commands, mad to the maximum.

“I can’t give her back: she’s not a hostage, she’s a guest. Y/N doesn’t want to talk to you so get lost!”

“Excuse me?!” J gasps, amazed by the insult.

“You heard me: beat it ! Unlike you, she’s welcomed here so she can stay if she wants to.”

“You can’t talk to me like this! I’m the King of Gotham !! I will…”

“Tell someone that cares,” Max cuts his rant. “I am the King of LA; this is my territory. Disappear!”

“Give me back my woman! NOW!!!!” J is getting furious.

“Go away, son ! Before you regret it.”

“I’m not your son!”

“Thank God!!” and the little opening gets slammed shut. The Joker feels all the veins in his body about to burst open from the outrage building up inside him. He basically runs to Frost.

“Welcome back, sir!” Jonny attempts to talk.

“Shut up! I need a tank, ten grenade launchers and as many mercenaries as possible! Like, 5 minutes ago!!”

“Ummm… What for, boss?” Frost gets uneasy.

“We need to get my Doll out of there!”

“Is she…held against her will?” Jonny indirectly addresses the issue, already realizing what he’s up against.

“Nope, I fucked up, “ your boyfriend peacefully admits for a change. “So hurry!”

“Sir, this place’s a fortress: they have a lot of men and they can always get more since we’re on their ground.”

“Who the hell asked for your opinion, huh?” J criticizes his trusted henchman, holding his green locks in place because it’s pretty windy.

“Boss, I don’t think we should start a major conflict due to the fact that…”

“Goddammit! What’s wrong with everyone today?!” J loses his temper, irked like never before. “Just do what I say and don’t question me!!!”

Frost dials on his cell because he has no other choice.

“Sir, I am working on what you want, but in the meantime, can we PLEASE try another approach?”

“Such as?” The Joker grinds his teeth, unconvinced.

****************

“Y/N? Are you awake?” Max knocks at the door. He allowed you to use one of the bedrooms since you’re exhausted.

“Yes, come in,” you invite him. No matter how tired you get, you can never sleep during daytime.

“These are from… that person,” he hands over the huge bouquet of flowers, huffing.“Knocked at the entrance and yelled to give them to his girl. I really shouldn’t have done it; I don’t like him.”

Just one glance and you know: there is a 0.1% chance the flowers are from J and 99.9% chance they are from Frost. How do you know? Because you recognize his style: every single time Jonny gets flowers for his wife, he gets a bouquet for you too, knowing The Joker doesn’t ever bother with such nonsense.

Your man sees the gates opening and you coming out with the flowers and grins, triumphant. His smirk quickly turns into a grimace of stunned vexation when you toss them to the ground, stomping on them and kicking them all over the place, then go back in before he can react.

***************

Jonny won’t stop texting you, basically begging at this point for you to get out of the fortified warehouse. Apparently J is putting an army together to snatch you out of your hiding place; he even got a tank and grenade launchers coming to him by nighttime. He wants a war that makes no sense. But when does anything make sense when he loses his marbles?!

And it’s true you avoided a huge clash between the LA and Gotham clans. It was your hard work, tenacity and strategic flair. About to get blown up to pieces by your impulsive Joker. Uhhhhhhh, why did you pick him for whatever makes you happy?! So idiotic. And dumb. And moronic. And foolish. You should’ve picked money and diamonds. ALL OF IT. Joke’s on you. Again. 100% on you.

*****************

J sees the gates opening and you emerge outside, grumpy as you can be, looking at the ground instead of acknowledging his approach.

“Are you done now?!” he yanks your arm, dragging you after him as you struggle to keep up, crabby to a whole different level. “Hold my hand!” the order demands and you don’t comply. “I said hold my hand, woman!”

You squeeze his fingers and still stare down at your feet. Frost notices the scene and gets his ass in the car, praying shit won’t go down. The Joker finally slows down a bit then halts, panting from the ordeal of your mutiny. He steps in front of your body and you avoid gazing in his eyes.

“Give me a kiss!” he growls.

“No!” you have the boldness to fight his desire.

“I said give me a kiss, I don’t want to repeat myself,” J licks his lips, mad you’re so feisty.

You reach over to give him a quick smooch.

“What the hell was that?! I said I want a kiss, not a mosquito bite!!”

You sulk even more and he places your hands around his neck, then his arms slide down on your waist, waiting. He comes half an inch apart from your lips and…Nothing.

“Today would be nice!” the Joker retaliates and you don’t really have a choice but to kiss him. For some reason, your fingers easily find their way to his hair, unconsciously caressing it in the process. He truly doesn’t want to purr but finds it impossible to hold it in. Makes you 78% weak in the knees, about 100% lost in his blue eyes and now you can’t even calculate percentages anymore. All his fault.

“Why do you aggravate me, Pumpkin?” he groans like he’s in a great deal of pain and you have the balls to answer.

“Because I love you and I do everything for you and you don’t love me and you just…” you whimper when he lets go of his embrace and has an outpour of words for you.

“ I don’t love you, hm???!!! Are you blind and deaf on top of it?”

You seem confused. Yuck, he has to explain. The Joker hates to explain his feelings: he doesn’t understand some of them himself, maybe about 63% . (Oh, how nice, you can calculate percentages again.)

“Every time I don’t kill you when you piss me off- and I must point out that’s on daily basis- it means that I love you. Every time another woman tries to get my attention and I don’t even care because I only have eyes for you, it means that I love you. Every time I take you on a “date -dinner-robbery” night and I am not out there creating chaos for Batsy because I know he gets bored without me, it means that I love you,” and J hauls you towards the car again, soooo upset he had to clarify his actions. “ I say it and show it all the damn time! Like I said, you’re just blind and deaf, getting old for sure since you’re pushing 40!” Only he could make something that was meant to be sweet into…THIS. “Why are you crying now, hm?!”

“You’re…you’re old, “ you wipe your tears because even if his declaration was so messed up you got the point anyway and your heart is about to explode with ecstasy. “You’re older so you’re pushing 40 more than me,” and you continue to bawl while he scolds you again.

“You have such a nerve, woman!” J shoves you in the car, irritated. “Wait here, I’ll be back in a sec!” he changes his mind before entering the vehicle.

You and Frost get anxious.

The Joker stomps back to the fortress, kicking the door with his right foot.

“What do you want now?!” Max opens the small window again, rolling his eyes at the green haired menace.

“Are we still on for next month? I want to close that deal.”

“Pffttt, yeah, of course. Make sure you show up for the meeting, Joker! And tell Y/N she can come and trade you in at any time, “ Max mumbles through his clenched teeth.

“Whatever makes her happy,” J punches the metal gate, his arrogance rubbing the mobster the wrong way.

“She should’ve taken the diamonds!” Max closes the opening, being done talking to The King of Gotham.

Your boyfriend is 110.53 % certain you will never do that.

Yes, he can do percentages too.

Sort of…