It isn’t some whimsical name without a face, or a voice. It’s an image in his mind with a face, a body, a voice and warmth that only an actual person could create. However, that isn’t paticularly joyous for Izuku.
He knows his dad is bad, he’s perfectly aware he grew up with a man who spent more time on the wrong side of the law than he did at home. Despite what his mother believes.
He knows, because for all his father’s (and please note he uses that term loosely) great achievements and deception tactics he forgot that a five year old has a memory and isn’t brain dead so when he talks about his criminal mastermind plans over the phone when he’s supposed to be watching him it peaked his interest and like any toddler he listens.
His father also always had a flourish for the dramatic and whenever he wanted to play heroes like he so often did when his mother looked after him, his father would always take the roll of the villain, giving these large intense speeches about how unpure and corrupt the world was. He was always much too young to understand the meaning behind the words but even then he knew his father had an entirely biased opinion on the fight between good and evil.
He wishes the name Midoriya Hisashi was faceless and cold. He wishes it was a mere memory that he didn’t have a connection with. Because while his father was a shitstain dirtbag that made his mother cry because he was always gone and never treated them the way he was supposed to treating them more like pawns than family he’s still his father. And he hates himself for it, but on some level he feels empathy for him.
The rest of him feels great disdain.
”Do you know this man Midoriya!?” He stares across the room, it’s bulletproof glass separating his classmates from his father and he knows it’d be useless if they actually tried to go at him, bulletproof didn’t mean quirk proof.
He shrugs at the question, and Aizawa flinches somewhere off to the side. He’s not really himself right now.
It’s something he learnt from his father. Present this image, whether it’s the stuck up prick who thinks they’re better than everybody or the soft boy who couldn’t hurt a fly or the charismatic teen who draws people in. And he’s letting it drop for the first time in front of so many people. Bakugo’s seen it before, of course he has.
He knows exactly who’s sat across from them. Not just because there’s been an insinuation that he knows so Bakugo puts it together. No, Bakugo knows because that insinuate stretches to him as well, though nobody else knows it. “Don’t be so shy now, Izuku. We’re all friends here.”
It’s such a sickening smile sent his way, made even worse by the fact that his father has nothing above his lips but marred flesh that sends disgust ripping through him. “We’re not friends Hisashi.”
If his father thought using his name would rattle him he was wrong, but Izuku wasn’t wring in thinking that if he used his name it would throw him off. He doesn’t look knows where to go.p, but he presses onwards anyway, “But of course. And I suppose that you’re classmates don’t know about our connection then? Otherwise you wouldn’t be calling me that dreadful name.” He waits till he hears the gasps of shock before continuing, “Oops. I guess they know now.”
He isn’t sure how to react, being aloof like he’d seen hundreds of times doesn’t work, so he has to improvise while under the scrutiny of every person in the room but one who’s hoping they don’t get dragged down with him.
He makes a quick second decision and doesn’t miss how Momo actually jumps when his fist smashes into the glass wall, the small shrieks of shock behind him serving as an anchor to not let his temper actually flare. He can’t afford for it to. He’s a horrible, nasty piece of work when his blood actually starts to boil.
“Stop fucking around and just get to the point Hisashi. So what if I know you, you bastard that’s got nothing to do with the fact you called all of us down for you to what? Gloat like the egotistical narcissist you are!?”
The only consolation to his out break and disgusting use of fowl language is that the smile slips from his father’s lips. They curl upwards into a scowl- one he’d come to associate with hiding in wardrobes, with his mother covering his ears as a young child whispers of ‘if we just keep quiet it’ll be okay.’ spoken into the stale air- and he resists the urge to shake. He’d come too far to fail now.
”Does your mother know you use such language?” He’s trying to toy with him. He knows that.
”Don’t you dare bring my mother into this!” It doesn’t matter if he knows it though, it still riles him. Sends his blood boiling away under his skin that sickens him because he knows it’s how his father feels when he’s angry and he wants to be anything but his father and if he’s not careful he’s going to boil over and say stuff that he really doesn’t want said.
”Deku.” He stalls, looking back, and he hates himself.
They all look so scared.
Every single one of the people he’s fought tooth and nail to protect over the last three years looks at him like he’s going to smash their heads in any second. The only two that aren’t are Bakugo and Aizawa-Sensei.
The blond steps forward, a grim look on his face, “Stop retaliating. The bastards trying to bait you again. I though you grew out of that,” it’s a statement, a reiteration, “Right?”
”Bakugo Katsuki? Now that was a surprise when Tomura told me you were at U.A., tell me how’s your mother doing?”
The question is designed to rattle his friend, and it does its job, but it seems to shake the class more than anything. Two of the strongest seem to know the worst villain ever. It’s unnerving even he can admit to that.
True to form though, as he turns back to the glass he can make out Bakugo’s signicture sneer in the reflection, “Hell of a lot better since she doesn’t have to worry about you murdering auntie anymore.”
There’s a small little scoff, “Your mother was always one for dramatics.“
”You leave my mother out of this as well! You don’t have the right to talk about her or auntie you bastard!”
”You are a child.” There’s a threat there, and he knows his class doesn’t understand exactly what that threat is but they know it’s there. It’s apparent in the way he can hear them shuffle about and he can see their disgruntled expressions in the glass, “I will not be spoken to that way, by an insolent brat who-“
And for the first time in his life, Izuku knows what it is to feel free. Because for the first time in his life he’s cutting off his father, “Just shut up.” It's so quiet after that, it almost feels like the airs gone still and it’s almost as if he’s told everybody out loud that he’s the monsters child and not just said shut up.
”Midoriya what are you-“ He can feel Kirishima’s hand on his shoulder and head the phrase echoed among his classmates as they step closer, wanting to... comfort him? Because that’s what all the comforting touches feel like.
”What did you just say to me.”
That is not a question. That is a challenge and he can see Aizawa in his peripheral step towards him, “Midoriya don’t antagonise him more than you already have.”
”I said Izuku, what did you just say to me.” The man doesn’t even stand up, but he feels like a baby again, this horrid looming feeling crawls and burrows under and over his skin as his father ignores Aizawa repeating the question.
”Answer me when I’m speaking to you.”
”I SAID SHUT UP!”
He can’t take it! He can’t take it when he uses that voice! It’stoomuchitstoomuchitstoomuch! He can’t deal with this! He wants his to just shut up, he wants him to never speak again!
”How dare you speak to me in that tone.” Shitshitshit he knows it gets to him now, he knows he knows he knows that that stupid tone f voice gets to him. “After everything I have done for you and this is the way you repay me? Becoming a hero, spewing nonsense and rejecting everything just to spite me-“
He isn’t sure when he broke free if his friends, isn’t sure when his voice ever filled with so much emotion but he knows for definite when All For One’s face falls, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU EVER DO FOR ME!?”
”What!? Did you think beating mum and I was loving us!?” There’s a very distraught noise behind him, “Did you think that leaving and making her cry, because she was so messed up in the head thanks to you that she thought she’d done something wrong when you left for five years!?”
He refuses to let the tears fall, he would not cry in front of this man, “Did you really think that pushing me till I broke myself time and time again was good parenting!? Did you think taking my quirk away from me before I ever got to learn how to use it was loving me!? Because it wasn’t! You have never done anything for my family and my poor mother is still having to learn to live her life after you abandoned her because news flash!” He slams his fist against the wall again, an indent appears and cracks snake the wall, “You can’t abuse someone till their dependency is all on you and then leave them and a ten year old to pick up the pieces and call it loving us!”
That horrid expression is back, but he continues onwards, “You are not my father and you never will be!”
It had been three hours since his outburst, three hours since Aizawa had had All Might escort him back to the dorms, his mentor comforting as best he could on the way back.
All Might knew, of course he knew.
The second he’d realised All For One was his father he’d told the man who he was. He couldn’t keep that from the one man that had given him everything his father hadn’t. He’d been there when he cried, he’d been there when he’d broken himself and instead of degrading him- telling him he had to get stronger- he’d told him off, chastising him for pushing himself too far.
He’d been there when his mother broken down and he’d had to spend nearly three weeks out of school just to look after her. He probably would of been out indefiently if his mentor hadn’t stepped up, offering to care for her along side his aunt Mitsuki as his mother cried her heart out and spent her days blaming herself for things that could never be her fault.
But just because All Might knew didn’t mean he wanted everybody else to.
God he hated his father, he wanted to rip his head off and stuff it down what would be left of his throat. He wanted to destroy him, to make him suffer how he’d made them suffer. To destroy everything that he loved and cared about just so he would know what it felt like to feel the world crumble down around you. But he could never bring himself to do it. That would make him exactly like his father.
The minute they’d gotten into the dorms he’d rushed off to his room, locking himself in before dragging his dresser in front of it so that nobody could get in. Then he’d crawled into his wardrobe and closed the doors on that as well. Anything to isolate himself and make everything seem less important. He knew they would all fear him now, they would hate him and he couldn’t blame them. He’d known. He’d known since All For One stepped out of the rubble in Kamino ward that it was his father and he hadn’t thought to inform everybody.
The answer was obvious wasn’t it? He was scared and he was selfish. He’d worked so so hard to get to U.A. a dream that had been lost after his father took his quirk from him, hyper-telekinesis that’s what his mother had told him it was, and then he’d gotten a chance. He’d gotten a quirk and he didn’t want to risk what’d happened with the news of his lineage getting pulled into question.
God, he’d screwed up so badly. He didn’t need to go today, he could of just stayed in the dorms - claimed he wasn’t feeling well. But then, then he’d probably of pulled Katsuki down all on his own, forcing him to flounder while his father spewed lies. If he hadn’t of gone things would probably of been worse. They’d think for certain he was a villain- they’d immediately kick him out and arrest him and accuse him of being a traitor.
He knew that, but the fact he’d spewed all that stupid crap out and in front of everybody was so much worse.
He was going to cry again if he wasn’t careful.
”Izuku? Izuku are you in there?” He flinched hearing his friends voice. “Izuku I can’t get in unless you unlock the door and move whatever heavy ass thing you’ve put in the way this time. It’s just me. Nobody is gonna hurt you.”
Hearing Katsuki’s promise only further ruined him. They were sending Katsuki of all people to tell him he was being sent away didn’t they? In the dorms and school everybody thought they hated each other- This was like a sick joke. “Izuku, come on. Seriously, I’ll get in through the window if I have to...”
He didn’t trust himself to move or respond, so he just closed his eyes and prayed to whatever deity would listen that his life would just end already. It must of only been five minutes later that the doors on the wardrobe were opened slowly and carefully. Looking up He was met with Katsuki’s burning red eyes. “Fold your legs nerd, I’m getting in.” He didn’t have any time to protest before Katsuki was sat on the opposite side of the wardrobe, lifting his feet into his lap and closing he door after he got comfy.
”Why are you here Kacchan?” He didn’t look up, even when he felt a hand grab his own, fingers lacing together.
”Because I’m worried, Izuku you never told me exactly what happened with that scumbag and I respect that, that’s why I haven’t pryed. You didn’t need to scream it for the whole class to hear just to prove a point to those bastards. You are not him.” He barley managed a glance up at his best friend before a hiccup and tears left him.
”They all hate me now! I don’t want to be like him! I don’t! But he just kept talking and I couldn’t deal with it! I just couldn’t and he wouldn’t shut up and then everybody was looking and I didn’t know what to do and then he acted as if I owed him anything and I just couldn’t- I couldn’t do anything but scream at him!”
Class 3-A sat in tense silence in their common room, the information they’d been presented with three hours ago was heavy on their minds.
”I just can’t believe it... Mido... he can’t be the son of the most deadly villain in history. He’s too pure, he’s too nice! And- and god you could see the pain and fear in his eyes as he spoke. He was terrified of that man.” Mina grabbed at her horns as she paced about, she refused to believe the little beanpole she’d know since she was fifteen and who turned into a hero was related to scum like All For One.
”I don’t want to believe it either but it kind of makes sense y’know...” Denki shifted in his seat as all eyes turned to him, “I’m not saying Deku’s a villain! I just mean... well, the only thing stopping him from being All For One is a different set of morals and a different quirk. They’re both these massive powerhouses with seemingly never ending schemes and they both draw people in with their power.”
He hesitated, before continuing after he realised the others were listening with rapt attention, “Besides you saw how his personality changed in a second. He just blew up and then he was aloof and then he was angry and it all just seemed like he was running through different stockpiled personas, just like All For One was doing with him.”
”Denki, why on earth would you wait until a situation like this to actually be insightful. Fuck.” It shocked everybody when Tenya cursed and all eyes landed on the class president as he sat in a love seat, normally perfect hair askew as he repeatedly ran his fingers through it in stress. “Midoriya had confided in me sometime last year that his family was... dysfunctional and that his father wasn’t actually working overseas- that just being an excuse his mother fed him... he’d essentially spelled it out, he told me! He told me that his father did a job that was only for one! He- he told me he was a criminal as well! If I’d, if I’d just picked up on the signals sooner I could of talked to him about this-“
”Tenya you can’t blame yourself- he clearly didn’t want anybody to know, maybe you’re just reading too into this...” even Ochako couldn’t believe her own words.
”It doesn’t really matter if he is All For One’s son though does it. Izuku is still our brother in arms, nothing has changed since this morning. Bakugo went after him a while ago, I can only presume he’s sorting out whatever distress Izuku is working through. Us stressing isn’t going to make anything easier.”
There was a unified nod throughout the class, “Holy crap, what are we going to do if Class B find out? Monoma has no filter - what if Midoriya finally loses it?”
There was a tenseness that wasn’t there a second ago, “He wouldn’t.”
”Dude, he’s been super to bashing his head in so many times,” Kirishima bit his lip, “if he brought something up like his father especially with what he’s said about him I fear what he’ll do. I mean,Abusing him? Mentally torturing his mum? Taking his quirk from him? You guys saw what happened to that pussycats chick in first year right? Deku’s been living with those repercussions since he was four.”
He rubbed a hand over his face, “If it were me I’d probably end up killing Monoma. I can’t see Deku getting that far though he’s not got it in him...”
”So we’re all in agreement that no matter what we will not treat Izuku any differently than we have otherwise?”
”Agreed. All for one can go do one if he thinks shit like that is gonna ruin our bond with Izu!”