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Annoy my way into your heart

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Annoy my way into your heart


The view of Can laying on his floor spread-eagled was a very common occurrence. Tin was a bit concerned that he didn’t even have to question why Can was lying on his floor impersonating a starfish.

Can used to say he liked to study at Tin’s place because it was too loud in his own home. Which was a lie. Tin had been to Can’s place and it was more quiet and spacious then Can told everyone. But apparently, Tin was not allowed to comment on the living conditions of the poor.

Can studied in Tin’s place because the fridge was fully stocked and he had a drawer full of sweets which explained the shiny wrappers which laid around Tin’s living room table. There was an opened bag of chips and different cans of soda and Tin’s PlayStation was running. He hadn’t owned a gaming console before he had met Can.

There was a game on Tin didn’t recognize but he could envision Can who yelled at the screen, jumping up and down in front of it until he was too exhausted to give a damn anymore and had fallen asleep on the floor.

Tin had witnessed the same scenario a thousand times already. He put his school bag next to Can’s, another proof that Can wasn’t here to study, and went to stand next to his friend. Paprika powder covered his shirt's collar and he had chocolate smeared in the corner of his mouth. His hair was a mess and he slept with his mouth open. Tin was fairly sure there was drool on his cheek.

Tin crouched down and contemplated if he should whisper in Can’s ear to wake him up or pinch him in the side. Either way, Can would jump up in confusion, maybe even yell in surprise and that was always fun.

Tin surprised himself when he had to stare at his own hand because it hovered above Can’s hair. As always, it looked soft and strokable and…

“Fuck.” He looked at Can’s lips to confirm his suspicion and yes he wanted to lick the damn chocolate from his mouth and why was this his life?

He buried his face in his hands and felt the urge to lay down next to Can and just stare at the ceiling.

This was not allowed to happen! He was not in love with Can!

Did he think that Can was cute? Sure! Even in the beginning, when Can was an annoying brat most of the time, he had, objectively, thought that he was cute. It was the haircut and his mighty pout and his naive worldview. It had been nothing more.

He stood up to get himself a glass of cold water. He could have lamented about his new problem out loud and Can wouldn’t wake up from it. He was able to sleep like a stone and gosh he found it endearing…

“This is not happening,” he told the sink and drank the water in one go. Next to Ai Pete Can was one of his best friends. It had taken months for them to even like each other but now Can wasn’t someone Tin could picture out of his life.

He had punched his brother for him…

Maybe he was just horny? He went back and sized up Can’s sleeping form. He had kind of a stocky build. He was surprisingly strong and there were a lot of muscles under his baggy clothes. His hands were tiny which was always amusing to Tin and he wouldn’t mind feeling them on his skin and…

“Stop thinking,” he told himself. This was not happening. He was not allowing it to happen! He was just a healthy bisexual man who was able to appreciate the body of his best friend without weird ulterior motives. A best friend who shouldn’t sleep so trusting in other peoples homes. Did he do that everywhere?

He kicked Can in the side and as predicted Can sat up with a yell: “My flank! Protect my flank! What?”

He looked around with sleepy eyes and yes Tin found that cute. His life was over.

“Shouldn’t you learn for your mock test in two days?”, Tin asked and nudged Can with his toes. Can swatted at him in annoyance and yawned. “Ai Pete was with us in the library and then Ai Chaaim came and all of them were… chummy.”


Can waved his hands around. “You know, they looked at each other and needed to sit next to each other. It was weird.”

“You sound jealous.”

“I’m not. I don’t have time for a relationship, okay? I have things to do, places to visit.”

“For the last couple of weeks, you hid in my apartment and ate all my food”, Tin reminded him because the amount of empty chips bags was just unhealthy.

“Things to do, places to visit,” Can repeated himself in an urgent whisper as if Tin hadn’t understood the point he had made. Tin rolled his eyes.

“It’s almost eight, you slept long. Shouldn’t you head home now?”

“Or,” he said and jumped up, “… we could order dinner.”

Tin picked up some of the candy wrappers before he sat down on the couch. He should really pay his cleaning staff more if they had to clean up after Can all the time.

“Or, you could go home and make your mum happy.”

Can shook one of the cans to see if there was still liquid in it. “Nah… she would only be happy if I drag you along and believe me today of all day’s you really don’t want to be at my house.”


“Ai Ley is hosting a sleepover.”

Tin felt a cold shiver wandering down his spine. He liked Can’s little sister a lot, but she scared him. Especially when she was with her friends. Ai Pete had shown him a twitter account half a year back and Tin wasn’t able to look Ai Ley in the eyes ever since.

“You don’t have jeering practice today?”

“Nope,” Can answered cheerfully and had the audacity to slip out of his socks. Tin had never thought bare feet could be intimate, but today was the day of surprises. He stared as Can flexed his toes on his carpet as if the sensation was enjoyable. Something in him clenched.

“What’s Ai Good doing today?”, he asked out of sheer desperation.

Can shrugged. “He has plans… you know, why are you calling Ai Good Ai Good and me only Can?”

“Because he deserves the Ai.”

Tin dodged the dirty socks coming his way. Can didn’t look offended though.
Tin liked Ai Good because he was a silent guy with a lot of sassiness hidden inside him. It was fun sitting with him when they went out and looked after Can who would make a fool out of himself eventually. He really appreciated Good’s sense of sarcasm.

“We could order pizza? And no, I don’t want to hear your speech again about how you can’t eat a pizza made from a place owned by Thai because you ate real pizza once in Rome.”

“I also could give you a speech on how brazen it is that you use my credit card without feeling a bit of remorse.”

“You can pry your card out of my dead hands, all of the restaurants around here already know my name and if they see the credit card I own them, okay? Take that away from me and see my wrath.”

Tin massaged the bridge of his nose. Can went to the fridge to take out another can of soda and Tin had no idea how he could make him leave. He needed him to leave so he could spend a night tossing and turning about the revelation that he was in love with him.

“How about we’re doing our own sleepover party?”

“No!” Even Tin was surprised about the vehemence in his voice. Can lowered his beverage and looked at him. “Okay… wow… what’s going on with you?”

“Maybe I…” What should he say, what should he say? Can was like a stubborn puppy with a rope to play with if he was curious about something. He would sink his teeth in it and wouldn’t let go.

“Maybe I want to get chummy ?”

“With whom?” Can was next to him so fast Tin wasn’t sure if teleportation had been involved. He also had the feeling he just made it worse.

“I don’t know… just in general.”  

“So you like someone? Who’s she? Or him… I mean it’s cool. Cool, cool, cool.”

“You look like you will burst into flames any moment now.” Tin shook his head in amusement. It was stupid. He liked having Can around and just because his heart beat faster now and he could see himself kissing Can didn’t mean he couldn’t be around him anymore. And he was sure Can wasn’t easy to get rid off anyway.

“Forget what I said, order pizza, I want one with ham, extra cheese. Oh and don’t forget to order pizza bread.”

Can patted him on the back and grinned. “That’s what I wanted to hear!” He jumped up in search of his cellphone.

Tin went in his bedroom to change and listened to the noise Can made inside his flat. It was nice in a way, he thought. He was in love with Can and Can was already here. He didn’t have to chase after him, their troubled past with all the anger was behind them. Actually, he could kind of enjoy this.
He had been in love with Ai Pete when they were younger. A very naive and childish kind of love. It had formed into a possessive friendship and Tin had still reservations about Ae and Ai Pete’s relationship but they could be in the same room now.

Or maybe it was because he had such a different friendship with Can than he had with Ai Pete. More insults were involved. He was a bit more open with Can and even though Ai Pete knew about his past and his struggles he never talked with him about it. With Can...
It was therapeutic to have Can on his side no matter what he told him. Can was always ready to fight for him, to defend him and did never pity him. He trusted him.

There was a loud crash outside and Can yelled “Sorry!”.

Yeah, maybe the trust didn’t expand to his interior yet.


Can slept with his mouth open. Tin felt a bit like a creep but he was wide awake and Can dozed next to him. At least they were under the covers because Can liked to test Tin’s AC to its limits. He laid below his pillow, his hands stretched out on either side of his head and the blanket pulled up to his chin. It was a weird way to sleep but Can always said Tin was weirder because he looked like a corpse.

Can had eaten two pizzas on his own and had made Tin watch a drama series with him because his mum would watch it too and she would spoil it for him so he needed to be up-to-date. Tin was now emotionally invested in a plot that involved evil twins and the mysterious murder of the family patriarch.

It had been bizarre because he had witnessed how Can made himself ready for bed a lot of times. He would always sleep in his boxer-shorts and a t-shirt and would make fun of Tin because he used pyjamas. He liked to walk around when he brushed his teeth and when he was finished with washing-up there were water-puddles all around Tin’s sink. He had witnessed it a lot of times but this time… it was different. Because his gaze had lingered on the soft skin of Can’s belly, the water drops on his neck, the spot of toothpaste on his cheek.

He had thought that they were the perfect height for back hugs. He could bury his face in Can’s neck without a problem, Can would be able to do the same to him and neither of them would have to hurt their necks to do so. It was a weird way of thinking because he never thought of it before. Why now? Why did he have the revelation now? Nothing extraordinary had happened. He hadn’t seen Can with a girl, he hadn’t kissed somebody and realized he wanted to kiss someone else. There had been Can, lying on his floor like always, raiding his flat for goods.

Tin turned around to lay on his back. If this was a drama show he would now start to avoid Can because of his feelings, ashamed and aching in equal measure, until Can would corner him. Then he would confess his feelings in a shouting match and yeah in a drama show Can would reciprocate his feelings but they weren’t in a drama show so…
Tin didn’t like it. He didn’t want to avoid Can, because he was happy when Can was around. Can made everything easier. He felt safe with him. It was safe to love Can.

And yes, maybe he wanted to touch him, wanted to kiss him but goddamn he was able to restrain himself he wasn’t some monster. If Can ever felt in love with someone he would make sure this person deserved Can… it was easy.


A few weeks later he regretted his decision, he regretted it so much . It was laughable how little he knew himself. He was a possessive bastard and now he was in love with Can and Can was Can who was affectionate with everyone. How could he forget about Can’s tactile nature?

“Everything… alright?” Good handed him his drink and Tin took two large gulps. Something sour made its way down his gullet and he made a grimace. This was not something he would normally drink but after Can had wrapped a leg around T’No to greet him he had ordered something strong.

“I need therapy,” he murmured. He wasn’t going to survive how Can hugged everyone and he really didn’t need to raise his hands so high to reveal his belly.


“Huh…” He was surprised to see that his drink was already empty. He should switch to soda because if he was drunk he would just pick Can up and threw him over his shoulder and that would raise questions he wasn’t ready to answer. Also, Can was surprisingly strong and Tin wasn’t sure if he was even able to pick up Can or if Can wouldn’t fight him and Tin would end up on the floor. He was kinda into it and yes that was the reason why he should stop drinking now .

He pushed the empty glass away from him and turned to Ai Good. “Why am I here again?”

“You’re… weak”, Ai Good answered without missing a beat. Trust Ai Good to point out the truth. Tin nodded. Yeah, he was weak when Can asked him to come to a party with the football team attending.
Tin didn’t like most of them and they, in turn, were afraid of him. He liked P’Techno because he was even more naive than Can and he respected P’Type because they were both friends to people who couldn’t look after themselves. More than once they had exchanged looks over the head of their idiot friends while they tried to herd them inside a taxi.

He wasn’t sure if he could handle a drunk Can today.

“How wasted do you think Can is already to believe me I have to head home now?” Ai Good gave him an unimpressed look. Can was already in the stage of bouncing up and down and creating silly boomerang videos with his teammates for their IG stories. He wouldn’t even notice if Tin was gone.


He did notice and he was pissed. Tin’s phone vibrated again and he didn’t have to look at his screen to see another meme Can had sent him. If it was like the others it was about how shitty of a friend he was. There were a lot of puns using ‘left me hanging’ . Tin sighed and ignored it.

“Everything okay?”, Ai Pete asked and handed him his laptop back. They were sitting in one of the little study corners and Tin tried to concentrate on a project for economics he had to do with Ai Pete.

“Everythings alright,” Tin replied and stared at the screen. Maybe, if he acted like he was concentrating on their project his brain would jump-start into actually thinking about their project.

“Really? I heard Ai Can complained about you.”

“Is the whole football team your information source? Don’t they have anything better to do than reporting to you all the time?”

Ai Pete definitely looked smug. “They like to gossip.”

“I had a headache, I left the party early, end of story.”


Tin snapped his laptop shut. Ai Pete looked back at him with a small smile and maybe he misled Ae with it but Tin wasn’t fooled.

“Okay, tell me. What did they say?”

“Is there anything to say?”

“You really think you’re clever right?”

Ai Pete shrugged. Tin leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Ai Pete wouldn’t tell Can. He would maybe tell Ae but Ae didn’t care about the love lives of others.

“I’m in love with Can.”

It was obvious that Ai Pete hadn’t expected Tin’s confession. He blinked at Tin, opened his mouth, blinked again, closed his mouth and covered it with his hand. Delighted shock was the best way to describe the face he made. Then, because he seemed to realize who Tin was talking about he mumbled ‘Oh.’

“This is…”

“Complicated, yes.”

“Did you confess to Ai Can?”

“No, and I don’t intend to. What I need is it to go away.”

Ai Pete frowned. “I admit that you would need multiple attempts so Ai Can would get what you want him to say and not, you know, that he thinks you just like him as a friend, but I’m sure he…”

“No, you’re not sure he returns my feelings, you hope he returns them. It’s a difference.”

“So your solution is to what? Sit it out?”

“I wish I could. I could anger Can so he would quit our friendship but that’s not something I want, so I need to unlove him.”

“My plan had been to push Ae towards a girl.”
Tin rolled his eyes. Trust Ai Pete to inform him subtlety that he had been able to get his man.

“It’s going to be alright, I just have to ignore it. Ignore…”

“- your possessiveness?”

“Yeah, sure I mean…”

“- your jealousy?”

“You're not helping,” he snarled and stuffed his laptop and notepad into his school bag. Ai Pete knew him too much to fall for any bullshit he was going to say about his relationship with Can. And now it looked like he was ready to play Amor. Ai Pete as a matchmaker, Tin got chills just thinking about it.
“Looks like I have to come to a solution myself.”

“There is no escape from your feelings,” Ai Pete called after him.

Since this guy had a satisfying love life he was even more cheeky. Tin shouldered his bag and wasn’t sure why he ran away. Maybe because he had said it out loud for the first time. His heart still raced and if he was prone to blushing he knew he would be beet-red by now.

He had been able to share Can with the world when he had been one of his best friends. Why was it different now? Why saw he red when he thought about the locker rooms, where everyone could see Can naked? Why was he so jealous of all the people at the party who got a hug from him?

Tin wasn’t a person who hugged. Can had hugged him maybe twice because when Can came at you with intention you couldn’t escape. Also, he once had given Ai Good a high-five. He was downright cuddly that’s what he was.

He already spent a lot of time with Can and why was it suddenly different? Why did it feel like it wasn’t enough?

“Ai Asshole! Ahhh! You turned around!”

Tin rolled his eyes, because he may be in love with this idiot, but he was still an idiot. As predicted Can stood a few metres away, with a frown on his face, a pout and crossed arms. Then, he went up to Tin and boxed him against the upper arm.

“This was for ditching me on Saturday,” he boxed him again, “and this for not answering any of my messages.”

Tin rolled his eyes. “You sent me memes. How was I supposed to know you want me to react to them?”

Can boxed him again. “Why did you leave so early?”

“I had a headache, nothing big. You had fun, right?”

Can looked at him and opened his mouth. He closed it again and glanced to the side. His frown intensified.

“Where are you coming from, didn’t you have a study session with Ai Pete?”, he asked and Tin was sure that it wasn’t what he actually had wanted to say.

“Shouldn’t it worry you all that Ae informs everyone about Ai Pete’s whereabouts?”

Can just shrugged and followed him out of the IC building.

“Are you here just to box me?” Tin wouldn’t be surprised by that.

Can pointed one finger at Tin. “Your punishment was, given your offence, very light, so be glad about that and I wanted to ask you to give me a ride.”

“Are you skipping your afternoon classes?”

“Yep. Mum wants me to buy a nice outfit for a wedding in two weeks.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“You have to drive me to the Siam Centre.”

Tin had lifted his keys to open his car and stopped in motion. He turned to Can who tried to flutter his eyelashes at him.

“I’m not going shopping with you.”

“But Ai Tiiiiiin,” Can whined and grabbed his upper arm. “I have no idea about fashion! I would like to go with a t-shirt but mum said if I’ll do that she will skin me alive. Please, please, please.” Can shook him in the broad daylight in the IC parking lot and Tin was sure that he had been the ice prince once, unshakable, people had been afraid to even approach him. Now, Can hung on his arm and pouted. Tin wanted to kiss it off Can’s face so badly he had to close his eyes for a second.

“Don’t play cute. As always you just want my credit card.” Can’s pout intensified and Tin had to look away.

“It’s not my fault when you will get impatient, and want to go to stores I could never afford, and you’ll want to buy the outfit for me because you’ll be angry and exhausted and want the day to be over!”

“That’s oddly specific.” Tin knew that Can wasn’t dumb. He was observant and empathic but there was a lot going on in his head and most of the times he prioritized the energy to untangle all of his thoughts in favour of thinking about mundane things. So yes, it was always a bit surprising, when he showed that there was a brain behind his bright smile and the little head-tilt he always did when he was confused.

“We’ll be in the shop for half an hour tops.”

“Yes!” Can jumped up and down. “Thank you! Oh, and I’m really hungry, we need to eat something before shopping.” Tin pressed the button to open his car and yes , he was aware he was now paying for his attempts to break-up Ae and Ai Pete. Karma was a bitch.


Tin had no idea how it had happened. He remembered himself saying “No.” He remembered that he even presented convincing reasons why he said “No.” Nevertheless, here he was, laying on his bed while Can made himself ready to join him. The outfit they had chosen was safely tucked away in a bag.

Tin had known that being in love with his best friend would hit him in the face, but being dragged inside the changing room to help Can buttoning up his shirt right, was another kind of torture. Can’s bare back had been tempting, the line of his jaw, hell even the shape of his ears. He had wanted to press Can against the wall of the changing room, and kiss the constant chatter from his lips. He had wanted to hold his face in his hands and kiss him until Can forgot that they were in public.

He sighed and took his cellphone in hand. Can deserved a friend who didn’t fantasize about ravishing him in a clothing store.

“What are you doing?”

The mattress dipped down and Tin smelled the fresh breeze of his toothpaste.

“Searching for a date,” he mumbled. Did it make something inside him ache? Yes. But he needed a distraction. He was a possessive friend but apparently being in love made him ten times worth. He could see himself trying to occupy Can as much as possible and he didn’t want to stifle him with his love.
Can would support him, would want him to be happy, so he shouldn’t have anything against Tin dating…

“No!” He watched as his cellphone was snatched from his hands and was thrown across the room. It shattered against the wall and part of his screen flew over his carpet.


Can stood on the mattress, his arm still raised and he seemed as surprised about his actions as Tin. Their eyes met and Can blushed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you…?”

“You can’t date! It’s not part of the plan! The plan will get all jumbled-up and…”

“The plan?”

They stared at each other and Can’s face got redder and redder. He sighed deeply, deflated a bit and sat down next to Tin. He chewed on his lips and took a deep breath before he said:

“My plan to annoy my way into your heart.”

Maybe on the way out of the dressing room Tin had stumbled and hit his head and was lying in a hospital bed.

“Annoying your way…”, he repeated and had the rest of the sentence got stuck in his throat.

“Into your heart, yes”, Can confirmed.

Tin frowned and Can hastily said: “Ai Good and Ai Ley helped me. It’s a twenty step plan. I’m already on step five when I try to spend as much time as possible at your place.”

Tin raised his finger to stop Can. “You want to tell me, you had help from someone who once said to you to drink coke and eat mentos afterwards to see what happens? And your sister who… you saw her twitter account!”

Can threw his hands in the air. “What should I have done? Ai Ley said I wouldn’t be able to seduce you any other way!”

Tin pointed at Can. “Raise your arms… higher… higher.” Tin stared at the patch of skin between Can’s shirt and pants. Can squealed as he realized what happened and used a pillow to throw it at Tin’s face. Tin sat up and put the pillow behind his back as he leaned against his bed's headboard.

“You’re an asshole! I’m confessing to you right now!”

“There is not much confessing going on, to be honest.”

“Oh yes? What about ‘I’m in love with you, you jerkface!’”

“I’m in love with you too, idiot.”

Can, who had been on the verge of standing up on the mattress again, fell back on the bed and stared at Tin.

“You… what?”

Tin’s heart raced, he felt like he was going to be sick, he felt like his head was wrapped in cotton candy. Please, he thought, please don’t let me wake up in the hospital room because I stumbled on the way out of the dressing room and hit my head.

He cleared his throat. Can looked at him with big eyes, and a stunned expression, and maybe a little bit of hope.

His voice scratched a little as he said: “I’m in love with you too.”

Slowly, Can began to smile, bigger and bigger and he took one of the many pillows on Tin’s bed and buried his face in it. Tin heard a muffled scream and he had to laugh. This was… this was insane. Stuff like that didn’t happen to Tin. He had no idea how he should feel. He felt numb, but also light and he wanted to grab Can so bad his fingers tingled.

Can raised his head and his face was red. “I can’t believe it! I feel embarrassed, but also happy, and I really want you to stop looking at me.”

Tin laughed again. It was strangely intimate to look at Can, as if he needed a special permit to do so now. Can hugged the pillow he had screamed against and robbed closer.

“What are we going to do now? Are we… are we a couple?”

Tin had no idea where it came from but he felt defensive all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure if this really was happening and… what if Can changed his mind? What if was Can was feeling was just the comfort he felt with Tin? Maybe he confused deep friendship with love.

“Is that something you would like? Dating?”

Can frowned. “Isn’t it the order of things? We confess, we date, we live happily ever after?”

Would he survive it?, Tin asked himself. Would he survive Can’s curiosity? Would he survive satisfying Can’s believe there was more between them and then deciding it had been a mistake and they should go back to being friends? Tin had no idea why, but he had the feeling Can could be able to just go back to being friends. Tin, on the other hand, would be destroyed.

But he couldn’t, he couldn’t say no. Tin knew that there was still the young boy in him who just wanted to be loved. It was frustrating because he thought he had him under control, but now… Now there was a Can-shaped crack in his wall.

“Okay,” he said and was able to smile for Can, “TinCan, that has a nice ring to it.”

Can smile was shy, but then he kicked against Tin’s leg. “Why is your name first?”

“Because I pay for your snacks.”

Can nodded as if Tin’s answer was logical.

“We should go to sleep,” Tin suggested because he knew he wouldn’t get one second of it and should start on staring at the ceiling as soon as possible. He leaned toward his nightstand to turn off the lamps.

“Wait!”, Can interrupted him, “am I allowed to sleep here?”

“Why shouldn’t you?” Tin was confused.

“Because…” he gestured between them, “things have changed?”

Tin knew that Can wasn’t ready for anything physical between them yet and the tingle in his fingers just got worse. His mind screamed at him that Can was his for the taking, for touching, and kissing, and… but he wasn’t.

“You’re right,” he answered. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“What? Why? No!” Can grabbed him by his sleeve as he was climbing out of bed. Tin raised his brows.

“You should stay here!”

“You don’t make sense.”

“We should kiss!”

Tin had experienced a lot of Can’s thought processes. Most of the time he eventually guessed or understood what Can wanted to say but now his brain was short-circuited by Can’s words.

“It’s all in the plan, okay? And now we skipped the last steps, and the last step was kissing, and I think we really should kiss… now.”

“You have to show me the plan because I think I need to ritually burn it”, Tin said and sat back on the bed. “You don’t have to force yourself for anything. We can take it slow…”

“Can you just kiss me, please?”

And Tin would do it, he would kiss him, and then he would sleep on the couch because he knew, he knew that even though the kiss would be brief, he … Can just looked at him and for the first time Tin had no idea what he thought. Can was one of the most expressive people, his emotions for the whole world to see on his face, but now Tin couldn’t read him.

Tin put his hand on Can’s jaw, leaned forward and kissed him.

It was a dry kiss, quick, but Tin felt it in his bones. If he would exhale, he knew, it would be shaky. Feeling that much was scary. Just this kiss, the soft skin of Can’s jaw under his hand and Can who simply stared at him. Maybe he hadn’t even closed his eyes. Maybe he was disappointed. Tin’s eyes fell back on Can’s mouth and he wanted, he wanted badly . This was going to end up in a disaster, he thought.

Can just threw himself at him. Tin’s body reacted before his brain could as if he had known what would happen. Can craddled Tin’s face and kissed him. Kissed him like he had starved for it, like everything he ever wanted was found on Tin’s lips. Tin put his arms around Can’s waist, his fists in Can’s shirt and hanged on for dear life.

Can bit him at some point, a nip on his lower lip, either by accident or on purpose and Tin knew this was going to be a thing. He groaned and pushed Can so that he laid on his back. Can refused to let go of his face and even though Tin sprawled on top of him he was not in charge. Not even close.

Tin felt his dick harden in his pyjama pants and he tried to turn his waist to the side so Can wouldn’t feel his erection against his thigh. He made the calculation without Can in mind who started to kiss his neck and fuck Tin felt his tongue, wet and hot, and he murmured “Stop.” because he would start dry-humping Can’s leg if they continued.

“Wait a minute, please.” Tin rolled off Can who looked at him confused and slightly dazed. Tin took a deep breath. “Sorry, I just need a minute to cool down.”

“That’s something we want?”

Tin laughed. He took Can’s hand and kissed the back of it. It didn’t seem like physical interaction was something to worry about but he was still afraid of going too fast too soon. Can would… no, he was overwhelmed and he needed some time to process what had just happened in the last half an hour.

“We can go to sleep, if you want,” Can murmured and looked at him. It was most likely that he knew exactly why Tin had stopped, he was the most observant when you expected it the least.

“Okay,” Tin agreed and moved to his side of the bed. They never talked about the couch again.


Tin stared at the ceiling. He had lost count on how many times he had looked at his clock to find out only minutes had passed.

He was aroused, there were no other words for it. He was aroused, his dick was hard and he waited for the sign that Can was asleep because he was going to go to the bathroom and would masturbate. That was a thing that was going to happen. He wasn’t proud of it but the want drummed deep inside him and he ached. He had to hold himself still because even the tiniest bit of movement against his dick would make him explode, he knew it.

Can moved beside him and Tin prayed that he would hear him breathe in and out evenly soon.

“I can’t sleep,” Can murmured into the silence and Tin considered faking his sleep.

“I can’t either.”
“You, too?”
“You have no idea.”
“Can I?”, Can asked and Tin turned his head. He could make out the outlines of Can’s body, but couldn’t clearly see his face. He had no idea what Can wanted to do, but he lifted his blanket and Can slipped under it. His body felt warm and new and familiar. Their mouths found each other and Tin fell into the sweetness of it. Again, he tried to move his hips to hide his hard-on but Can stopped his movement with his hand.

“It’s okay,” he murmured against Tin’s lips and took his hand, which had laid useless on Can’s shoulder to put it under his shirt on his warm skin. Tin shuddered and Can exhaled sharply. They deepened their kiss and Tin caressed Can’s back gently. He wanted to take this slow but the moment Can’s tongue touched his, the world stood still for a second and then all Tin knew was how hot Can’s body felt against his own and the feeling of Can’s boner against his. It was glorious and heady.

“This won’t last long,” Tin said between kisses, Can just gasped. Tin rolled his hips and the moan out of Can’s mouth almost tipped Tin over the edge. He didn’t need friction, he decided, Can’s sounds, while they rubbed against each other, were enough. After a while, they stopped kissing and just shared moans between their slack mouths.

Can had clenched his eyes shut. “Tin,” he groaned, “Tin.”
Tin moved his hand to Can’s butt and helped him to find the friction he needed. “Fuck,” Can murmured against his neck, “Fuck.”
Tin felt Can’s damp breath on his ear and he knew that he didn’t need more, Can just had to continue making those noises and he would come, he would come and…

Can moaned brokenly, his body stiff against Tin’s. He dug his fingers in Tin’s flesh and Tin felt the agony of his own orgasm rushing through him. He felt shaky and hollow and glorious and he hugged Can tighter.

He had just come into his pants and he suppressed a snicker.

“Why are you laughing,” Can murmured against his neck. His voice sounded drowsy and sluggish.
“Nothing, we should get out of… Can? Cantaloupe?” Can snored softly and this time Tin didn’t stifle his laugh. So Can was someone who fell asleep right after an orgasm.

“Good to know,” he murmured and rolled Can onto his back. The insides of his pants were sticky and wet and he got rid of them. Can slept with his mouth open again and Tin stroked the sweaty bangs out of his face. He had accustomed to the darkness of the room and his eyes travelled hungrily over Can’s face. He was allowed to do that now and for a moment he felt the need to copy Can and scream in a pillow.

“Can?”, he whispered in Can’s ear. Can made a sound as if he had heard him but didn’t wake up. “I’m going to get rid of your pants, okay?” Can turned his head toward him and sighed loudly.

“I take that as a yes,” Tin said and due to Can’s inability to be helpful, it took a while to undress Can. He put the covers over them both and stared at Can until he fell asleep.


Someone nuzzled against his ear. Tin frowned.

“You know, in a drama show you would now sigh my name and would stare dreamily at me.”

Tin opened his eyes and because Can’s face was so close all he saw at first was a human-shaped blob. It was already light outside but Tin suspected that it was far too early for them to be awake.

“Why am I not wearing pants, Ai Tin?”

Tin chuckled and moved his arm to caress Can’s hair.

“Because it was dirty. It’s laying next to the bed if you want it back so badly.”

“No, thank you,” Can answered and continued to stare at him. Tin closed his eyes again but he felt Can’s eyes on him.

“What? It’s too early, Can.”

“I have cuddle rights now, right?”

Tin squinted at Can. “What do you think we’re doing right now?” He had his arm around Can and their bodies touched almost everywhere from their shoulders to their toes.

“I have to inform you, that I want to cuddle more… intense .”

“Of course you want,” Tin murmured and rolled his eyes. “Do your worst.”
The next three minutes Can arranged them to his liking. He even had the audacity telling Tin to stop moving .

“You’re so annoying,” Tin mumbled.

“Then the plan worked out,” Can said and sighed. He buried his nose behind Tin’s ear and it was strangely comforting being spooned by Can even though he probably had to use a sledgehammer to detangle himself from Can. Tin fought a bit against the comfort and the warmth but step by step his body relaxed and with a last sigh he fell asleep again.