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Lady Sif

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Darcy Lewis wonders why she’s sitting here in the middle of the night, at the wheel of a converted jeep with 2 scientists, in the Puente Antiguo desert in New Mexico, staring at nothingness, all for a measly 6 college credits? Astrophysicist Jane Foster and her mentor Dr. Erik Selvig might be experts in their field, but they were definitely not experts in fun. Darcy takes a mental note, “Note to self: never bring them on stakeouts or stalking sessions. They don’t know the value of good music and munchies”

“The last 17 occurrences have been predictable to the second” she overhears Jane telling Erik, Darcy zones out “Seriously, I could be playing Halo – I hate Halo, I could be watching The Notebook – I think my brain’s been hijacked by boredom, anything’s better than stari- What the frak is that?!” Darcy notices something through the side mirror “Err...Jane, I think you want to see this...” Darcy keeps looking at the side mirror, while Jane and Eric look through the roof.

Erik gasps “I thought you said it was a subtle aurora”, the very beautiful, but not subtle aurora grows. Jane yells “Go!”, Darcy shifts into drive and floors it, Jane and Erik sit back in the jeep, Jane in the passenger seat, Erik at the back. Jane takes out a camcorder, “Get closer” she says. Darcy responds sarcastically, with a quick side glance “Right. Good one.”

“Go” Jane yells again, Darcy obeys, as they get closer to the now scary looking vortex, that is definitely not a subtle aurora. Darcy remembers her mortality as they watch the vortex hit the ground. It seems like it’s depositing something. Darcy decides that it’s not worth it.

“What are you doing?” Jane yells slightly irritated as Darcy turns the wheel.

“I am not dying for 6 college credits!” Darcy exclaims. Jane forcibly takes the wheel. As they struggle, the vortex is making a deposit of thunder, lightning, furious blues, while stirring a whole lot of sand. The occupants of the jeep miss this beautiful view, but one of them notices the clear presence of danger and death, while the other 2 really want to get closer to this potential answer to the mysteries of the universe.

During the struggle, they all fail to notice the presence of the lone figure that was deposited by the vortex, until they hit it. The jeep skids to a stop, they all get out, with their flash lights, to meet the figure.

“I think that was legally your fault” Darcy defends, “Crazy chick took the wheel” she silently adds.

“Get the first aid kit” Jane responds, while running towards the figure, with Erik close behind. Darcy runs back to the jeep to get said first aid kit.

On meeting the figure, Jane and Erik see a dark haired woman clad in leather boots, trousers and a loose fitting shirt, on the ground.

“Please...don’t be dead” Jane panics as she bends over the woman, Darcy returns with the first aid kit and gasps “Where did she come from?”

The woman takes in a deep breath and wakes up, she stares at Darcy.

“Whoa. Do you need CPR? Because I totally know CPR” Darcy responds, the woman keeps staring at Darcy then she passes out.

“Where did she come from?” Jane wonders out loud

“This just got interesting, who knew Xena, Warrior Princess, was in Puente Antiguo, New Mexico? I really want to give her CPR, I’ve got the first aid kit and everything” Darcy wonders as she makes a mental checklist for her awesomeness in CPR-ing.

The woman wakes up again, gets up in a state, yelling “Heimdall?! Heimdall?!”, but in her current state of discombobulation, it sounds like she’s yelling “Hammered! Hammered!”

“Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered. It’s pretty obvious” Darcy deadpans.

“Oh, my God. Erik, look at this” Jane gasps, she notices the pattern on ground that the dark haired woman is walking over. Jane is concerned that it would fade away soon, she wants to take notes and pictures. Erik is concerned about the woman’s health, “We need to take her to a hospital” he says.

“She’s fine, look at her.” Jane says, marvelling at the pattern.

“Yup, Xena’s hella fine.” Darcy mentally concurs.

“Father!” the mysterious woman yells. “Heimdall! I know you hear me! Open the Bifrost!” she continues.

“ go, I’ll stay” Jane says.

“You” the mysterious woman points at Erik, “What realm is this?” she asks, “Alfheim? Nomheim?”

Darcy takes a few steps back and goes to the side, out of the mystery woman’s view.

“Ok, Xena you’re hot and all, but this is getting a little cray cray” she whispers, while getting out her trusty taser gun.

“New Mexico” Darcy responds to the mystery woman’s question.

The woman turns to the voice, “You dare threaten me, Lady Sif, with so puny a weapon?” she taunts.

Darcy fires her taser gun directly at the woman’s chest. Sif drops to the ground after a dazzling display of fits. Jane and Erik look at Darcy in shock.

“What? Xena was freaking me out.” Darcy deadpans.

Erik carries the now unconscious woman into the jeep, “Darcy, next time you taser someone, make sure they are already in the car!” he complains. He sets her into the back seat.

“ bad, but Xena was kinda acting cuckoo and she looked like she could actually kick our collective asses.”

Jane was still taking notes, pictures and recordings of the pattern, intrigued by its beauty and its importance.

After making sure Sif was secure, Erik yells for Jane to remind her they need to leave. As they drive off to the hospital, Darcy has a sly smile on her face as she mentally summarises her night. “There was a not so subtle aurora, I almost died, I met Xena, she was fine, very hammered, slightly cuckoo, I tasered her. Not bad, those 6 credits might actually be worth it.”