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why are you still here (i tell myself you'll disappear)

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For the first time since entering the Falcon on Crait, Rey of Jakku is completely and totally alone.

 

And she's very grateful for the silence.  She does love her new friends in the Resistance, especially Finn and that girl (Rose, she thinks he called her?), but living on Jakku for almost her whole life has led her to appreciate quiet and solitude whenever she can get it.

 

(And sitting in a small room with Poe Dameron for a few hours gets pretty terrifying after a while.)

 

As soon as they'd landed, everybody had immediately run right off the Falcon to get outside, no matter how filthy and backwater this random moon they were on happened to be.  Leia and Finn had tried to get Rey to come too, but she'd politely declined, opting to be alone with her thoughts.

 

And her scar.  Sitting alone in her bunk on the Falcon, her legs crossed and her back leaning against the cold metal wall, Rey tugs off the brown armband covering the red scar on her upper right arm.  Leia'd seen how Rey was covering the scar with her hand whenever Resistance members came up to talk to her, so quickly and not needing an explanation she'd taken Rey to a medic and Rey'd ended up with a band around her arm.

 

Which was good, because Rey didn't much feel like explaining to everyone how she got it.  Not even Finn.  She's pretty sure "I went to the First Order's main flagship to try to turn Kylo Ren back to the light because he and I touched hands through the Force" wouldn't fly very well with the rest of the Resistance.

 

Rey looks back at her scar.  The armband is hanging around her elbow now, and she touches her scar gently before starting to pull the band back over it.  She's just grabbed it in her hand when she hears the familiar sound of the Force connection opening.

 

Ben Solo appears, standing right in front of her.

 

She doesn't look up.

 

"Hi, Ben," she mumbles, adjusting her armband so that it covers her scar once again.

 

"Rey," is all he says.  After a moment of silence, Ben walks closer and kneels next to her.  She turns away, but not before he sees the armband.  "What's this?" he asks.

 

"I--I didn't want people to see."

 

"Oh."  Ben looks away.  "Sorry."

 

"For what?"

 

"Letting... letting that guard hurt you.  I should've stopped him."

 

"There's nothing you could have done," says Rey.  "We both know that's true.  And at least we both made it out alive."

 

Ben nods.

 

With a small smile on her face, Rey looks at the ground.  "If anybody should be sorry, it's me," she murmurs.

 

Rey glances up.  Ben looks taken aback.  "Why?"

 

"For this," says Rey.  Gently, she reaches up and touches the scar running down Ben's face.  "I gave it to you.  On Starkiller."

 

"Yeah," breathes Ben.  He takes Rey's hand in his and presses it against his cheek.  "Don't be sorry.  I deserved it."

 

"No, you didn't, but okay."

 

Ben smiles slightly, and it occurs to Rey that she's never seen him smile before.  "Now we match," he says quietly, pulling down Rey's armband to expose her scar.

 

Rey laughs.  "I guess we do."

 

They sit like that for a while, Rey's hand on Ben's cheek and his fingertips touching her shoulder.  This kind of silence is much better than solitude, Rey thinks, and when the Force finally pulls them apart, she finds herself smiling so big her cheeks hurt.