Wedding bells chimed, and white dress adorned the aisle as Blake walked down. Harpsichord notes flooded the church, as Yang looked over to her soon-to-be wife. They’d opted for… unconventional attire; Blake had taken Yang’s tie, and Yang stood with her face covered with a thin white veil.
Bibble sat in the pews, his hands in his lap, looking on disheartened. He was too late; once the two’s engagement had been announced, he knew that it’d been too late to tell the two his long-time feelings. His timbs intermittently clunked on the floor rhythmically.
Blake had made it to the altar.
“We gather here today to celebrate the union of Yang Xiao Long and Blake Belladonna, two fearless huntresses who prevented the collapse Remnant as we know it…” The priest rambled on., and Bibble tuned out.
“Are there any objections?” Quiet filled the church. But, as the priest was about to continue, he was interrupted.
Bibble’s voice filled the chapel. “I. I need to tell the truth. I... “
The slamming of doors caused everyone’s heads to snap around. Three pairs of footsteps filled the now silent hall.
A horned redhead strolled up near the puffball with a cocky smile. “Bibble!”
“Caillou. You… have hair.”
“That was a childhood nickname. It’s Adam. and i’m here-” cue dramatic pause- “To take YOUR hand in marriage.” The crowd gasps. The rotund man behind him laughed. Eggman.
“W-wait! You can’t do that. We haven’t forgotten all you did to Blake!” Kai-Lan, who was wearing the pelts of her friends who had been vored brutally years ago, stood up from the pews with her wife Dora. The fox behind him took out a single needle from a bag he was holding.
“Swiper.” Dora’s gaze darkened.
“Don’t move and nothin’ will hurt.” Swiper smirked. Dora rolled up her sleeves and advanced towards the fox.
“Sure. You better MAKE it hur-” Dora was abruptly punted into a wooden post, so hard it snapped in half. You could see blood pooling around her. As distraught screams came from Kai-Lan as Boots and his brother, Sun held her back, Swiper dusted off his hands, and turned back around.
“You thought it was Swiper…”
“But Swiper couldn’t possible hold that much power!” Yang murmured.
A zi-i-i-p sound emanated from the place where Swiper had reached at the back of his head. The costume came off.
“But it was I, THE ONCELE-”
He stopped short and fell face first. A wooden stake was in his back. Dora smiled.
“Swiper, no swiping…” She murmured as she faded away. Adam looked on in shock.
Blake grabbed Yang’s hand and bolted, before stopping short in front of Bibble and grabbing his hand.
“Come with us. Please.” Blake almost begged, Yang nodding in agreement.
Bibble nodded. The trio hopped on Yang’s bike, and as they rolled away Bibble murmured, “Damn. Queerbaited again.”
The consistent whirring of Bumblebee is what calmed Bibble, his shaved ass cheeks shining in the sun.
“So.” Yang’s eyes diverted from the road, to Bibble, who was sitting on the bike’s handlebars. “What’d you object for?” She asked.
“I… have to be honest.” Bibble sighed. “I love you. Both.”
A huge weight had been lifted from the fairy. Blake, who had been sitting sideways on the motorcycle, looked at the small figure surprisedly. “We… me and Yang made an agreement.” Blake’s head teetered to the side.
“We… agreed that, if you ever expressed you wanted in on our relationship… that we’d all date. Y’know… poly.”
Bibble’s eyes widened excitedly.
‘We both love you too, Bibble.” Yang said, just loud enough to be heard over the bike's roaring engine.
The sun was starting to set as Yang turned a corner. Blockades lined the entirety of the road, barriers up on each side and construction equipment littered around. Yang shrieked to a stop. As she was turned around, Adam and countless White Fang grunts stood, now blocking the other side of the road.
Bibble faced reality; they were trapped.
Among the construction vehicles, he could see a large, green figure near the back. He was pretty sure he knew who it was. But, how to get to him?
He began sneaking away, but loud claps emanated from his voluptuous backside.
“Hrrng, bees, i’m trying to sneak away, but the-” a loud clap- “clap” -another loud clap. He stopped moving- “from my ass cheeks is going to alert Ada-” He paused. The now blindfolded man- looked like he was doing the birdbox challenge- had little white buds in his ears. “Oh. Wait. he has airpods in.”
Adam smiled. “Where are you, Bibble? I bet you’re wondering when I got hair. They’re Jojo Siwa hair extensions, by the way. Did you know I have super-ligma? I caught it from Swiper after he licked Ozpin’s ab sweat.”
Bibble cringed, as he made his way over to the colossal figure. Who used Jojo Siwa products?! Anyways, he had arrived at the shadow, and flipped a switch on its leg. A quiet growling sound had started up inside it. He slowly flew back to his girlfriends.
“Bibble! Ah, there you are.” Adam smiled. “How about we-”
A booming voice echoed in everyone’s ears.
“Omae wa, mou shinderu.”
Adam’s eyes widened in fear. “N-nani?!” he shouted, before dinosaur teeth clamped around and ate him. The white fang thugs looked on in fear, and promptly started bolting.
Bibble breathed out a sigh of relief. “Reptar.”
The robot immediately fizzled out and collapsed. Bibble sighed.
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito
Deja que te diga cosas al oído
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo…
Soft music played over the speakers.
“So, do you take each other as your lawfully wedded partner?”
Each of the the three nodded. “Yes, I do.” They all said in unison.
The priest smiled. “I now pronounce you woman, and woman, and fairy!”
Cheering of “Gang gang!” and clapping came from all around. They all made their way to the dining hall where the teletubbies would be serving tubby custard and dorito salad, and where Digit, who had been twerking the entirety of the day’s altercation, had been located.
Blake and Yang each slapped one cheek of Bibble’s ass.
“I’m not slapping her, and she’s not slapping me. Bibble’s not slapping either of us.”
“We’re slapping eachother.”