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Sizing Up

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It all started because of Kai's wandering eye.

Exo had finished a concert in a sports arena and were using the locker room showers before getting on a bus and then a plane and then a van to do another concert. The nice part was no one had to wait and the water wasn't cold if you were one of the unlucky guys who went last, which, being one of the youngest, Kai usually was. He was enjoying hot waster on his aching muscles while Chanyeol pestered Sehun and Baekhyun, Chen, and Xiumin were generally being ridiculous; Suho was trying to mother them all and preaching about safety on wet surfaces.

Kyungsoo had wandered to a further shower-head from the rest of them and Kai just happened to look his way.

He'd seen Kyungsoo naked before, in showers even, dozens of times. Kyungsoo was compact and slender in a healthy fashion, and Kai certainly didn't mind looking at him. He had a look that could switch from cute to uber masculine depending on if he was smiling or glaring. What Kai hadn't seen before, and probably why Kyungsoo had drifted as far away as he could from the guys immaturely laughing about Suho saying 'wet surfaces,' was Kyungsoo half-erect. Again, Kai had seen Kyungsoo naked many times and Kyungsoo had a perfectly average looking flaccid cock similar to Kai's own situation. But Kyungsoo was apparently a grower, because half-hard he was as long and thick as when Kai was hard as a rock.

Kai knew he was staring and his jaw was slack, and that was when Kyungsoo noticed him. The initial glare was just Kyungsoo narrowing his eyes to see, but then his heart-shaped lips pressed in a line and he twisted away.

And thus Kai was both in trouble and incredibly fascinated.


Kyungsoo didn't bring it up. He just glared at Kai for the rest of the tour and then let it drop when they got back to the dorms in Seoul.

Kai was incredibly grateful for this small mercy because they shared a room with Chanyeol, and Chanyeol would have noticed they weren't talking. Then all of Exo would have noticed they weren't talking and the teasing would begin, and then managers would get involved. (That was how it went down when Baekhyun and Chen got in a fight, and it hadn't been pleasant.)

Presently, it was the middle of the night and Chanyeol was snoring on his bunk over Kai's bed. Kyungsoo's bed was against the wall opposite Kai. He had earbuds in and had propped himself up with pillows to watch a movie on his tablet, silent light and color flashing across his face. The expression when he watched movies was like he was studying and enjoying at the same time. Kai wondered if he had a similar expression when watching choreography.

Kai had put down his book an hour earlier and turned off the light by his bed, putting on his headphones to try and muffle Chanyeol's snoring. His eyes were half closed as he watched Kyungsoo watch his movie. Though he was incredibly glad it never had been discussed, he couldn't help remembering Kyungsoo in the shower, and that led him to other thoughts he really needed to stop having. Specifically, questions of how big did Kyungsoo get when he was fully aroused. The thought made Kai shift as he pulled the covers over his head and told his brain to shut up and go to sleep.

He must have dozed until it got too hot being buried under the covers and he shoved them away. Kai rolled on his side and pulled off his headphones since Chanyeol had fallen into one of his softer snores, not the one that rattled the walls.

There was a soft sound he couldn't identify as he blinked his eyes open. No lights were on in the room, but enough was coming from under the door that he could see after his eyes adjusted. The huffing sound was coming from Kyungsoo's direction and Kai lazily looked toward him and froze.

Kyungsoo was sitting up in bed, his profile to Kai. His eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted. From between those parted lips were coming the soft sounds Kai now fully recognized as panting. Anytime he started to get louder he swallowed hard, adam's apple bobbing, and bit his lips together a moment. And that was all ridiculously pretty, but Kai's attention was riveted to where the blankets had slipped off his lap. To where Kyungsoo's shorts were shoved down his thighs. To where he could see Kyungsoo's hand working a heavy, hard cock. Kyungsoo was hung!

Kai didn't know if he made a sound or if Kyungsoo felt him staring, but Kyungsoo jerked his head around and their eyes met.

The glare wasn't a questioning narrowing of the eyes this time, it was angry and humiliated and upset. "I'm going to kill you," Kyungsoo hissed as he let go of his cock and snatched up the fallen blankets to hide himself as he laid down with his back to Kai.

Kai never felt so terrified in his life.


This time, Kyungsoo wasn't going to let it drop. He wasn't just mad, he was furious.

Kai attempted to avoid him as much as possible, but between living in the same room and promoting with the same group, it was impossible. The upside was they were never alone, so Kyungsoo couldn't kill him without leaving witnesses.

Sadly, it couldn't last forever.

It was after a taping for a music show when Kyungsoo caught him alone in a hallway. For a split second, Kai considered screaming for help as Kyungsoo grabbed his arm and dragged him to an empty dressing room, but he didn't. He was pretty sure Kyungsoo wasn't going to literally kill him. Though, when the shorter man shoved him up against a wall hard enough to knock the air out of him, he was significantly less sure.

"Did you think it was funny?" Kyungsoo demanded.

Kai blinked at him in confusion, which only made Kyungsoo's angry glare get scarier. He grabbed the front of Kai's mesh shirt in his fist and leaned in. His deep voice was a low growl that sent shivers all over Kai's skin. "Did you think it was funny watching me try to get off? Looking at my ridiculous cock?"

"W-What?" Kai stammered.

Kyungsoo didn't quite seem to hear him as he kept growling angrily. "Tell all your friends Kyungsoo has a freak penis? I bet you've been laughing it up with Taemin in the practice room, right?"

This was not how Kai expected this to go. Did Kyungsoo have a complex about the size of his cock? "No! Why would I do that?"

Behind the glare, Kai was starting to see how upset Kyungso was about the whole incident. He looked about ready to strangle Kai or burst into tears. "Because everyone does! Everyone thinks it's fucking hilarious shorty has a big cock. Think I'm wasted on singing and acting and should have gone into porn." Kai's mouth hung open at the idea anyone could have said things like that to anyone, especially Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo shoved away from him. "So, whatever. Laugh. Why do I care?"

There were many things Kai could have and probably should have said, but what came out of his mouth was, "I like big cocks."

Kyungsoo jerked to look at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Kai considered pretending he said something else, but Kyungsoo wasn't an idiot, so he admitted it again. "I like big cocks. I... I know it was rude to stare, and I'm sorry. But I didn't do it because I thought it was funny, I was admiring it... you."

Kyungsoo's eyes were comically wide as he took another step away from Kai.

Nothing else passed between them because Suho chose that moment to appear and round them up for their next event.


Chanyeol was out for the night, so it was awkwardly only Kai and Kyungsoo in the room.

The lights were out, but neither of them were asleep. They were both just laying there listening to some movie Sehun and Suho were watching in the main room and the rattle of the window as a storm swept through the city.

Kai licked his lips and finally said something. "People are jerks. You're amazing at singing and I've liked your movies I've seen."

"You don't have to say that," Kyungsoo said softly.

"I mean it."

"Thank you." Kyungsoo let out a sigh. "I appreciate you always helping me with dancing. I don't think I thank you enough for it."

Kyungsoo didn't have the natural rhythm and grace of a born dancer, but he picked up choreography well and put the effort into practice. "You're good at that, too," Kai replied as he twisted onto his side so he could see Kyungsoo in the dim light from under the door. (Same as the night that got him in trouble.)

"You're amazing at it," Kyungsoo said, on his back and staring at the ceiling.

Kai grinned because he always liked hearing he was good at doing what he loved. "We all have our talents. You sing and act and I'll dance and look pretty."

"Are you saying I don't look pretty?" Kyungsoo asked, and there was humor in his voice for the first time in weeks.

"With the buzz cut I figured you were going for handsome these days."

"Going for the soldier look."

The quiet was a little easier to handle when it came again, and Kai thought he might be able to go to sleep. But this time it was Kyungsoo's turn to lick his lips and speak in a low whisper, "Do you you really like big cocks?"

"Yeah," Kai said, flushing.

"So... you like men?"



There was another long stretch of quiet before Kyungsoo spoke again. "So do I."

"Oh," Kai said, and his heart began to pound.

"Have you ever..." Kyungsoo hesitated over his phrasing. "Have you ever done it with another man?"

"Yeah, a few times. Have you?"

"No. But I've been with a few women."

"I haven't," Kai said. "How's that?"

"Nice or awkward. Depends on the woman."

"Same with guys," Kai admitted, biting his lower lip. "Are you sure you like men if you've only done it with women?"

"I'm sure," Kyungsoo answered, not taking offence. "But dating rumors are bad enough, a scandal with another man could ruin my career. How do you manage?"

"Me? I have friends who share my tastes," Kai said, hoping Kyungsoso didn't make guesses. "Or I go places where all the men want to be anonymous."

"Sounds dangerous."

"Yeah. I don't do it much anymore."

Kyungsoo rolled over so he was facing Kai. "Not that I expect you to because you like men, I'm just curious. But... do you find me attractive?"

Kai flashed him a grin. "I do."

"Because I have an oversize cock?" Kyungsoo asked in a low, embarrassed, voice.

"No. I always thought you were attractive," Kai admitted. Then felt compelled to add, "Your s-size does up your sexual appeal. To me."

"I don't get why."

The conversation felt oddly comfortable, but Kai decided he wasn't up to explaining he liked to feel stuffed, like he couldn't take any more, like he might be split open if his partner moved too fast. That he had problems admitting it fully to Taemin, and he nearly talked about everything with Taemin.

"I'm sorry people have been assholes to you about your size," Kai replied instead.

"I'm sorry I decided you were one of them."

"Thanks for not killing me."

Kyungsoo laughed.

There was another silence and Kai thought this time they were going to sleep, but he realized there was one more question he had to ask. "Hey, Kyungsoo," he said, and heard a sleepy sound of acknowledgment. "Do you find me attractive?"

For a while there was no answer and Kai wondered if Kyungsoo had fallen asleep on him.

Then came a simple, "Very."


Kai was positive the company was trying to work them to death.

Concerts, commercials, photo shoots, and fan meetings back to back and regularly flying back and forth between Korea and Japan with occasional trips to other nearby countries. Kai never knew what time it was or where he was. It was worse for Kyungsoo who had a personal schedule separate from Exo with a lot of on location shoots. Kai had his magazine shoots and a six episode webdrama, but at least those wrapped relatively fast.

But for now Kai had the dorm to himself and at least four hours before anyone came around, and he intended to enjoy it. He had a porno Jimin recommended, lube, a fat dildo for later, and a right hand that knew what he liked. He stripped to his shorts, climbed onto bed, started the movie, and then someone walked into the room.

Kai slapped the computer closed and yanked a blanket over the dildo and his lap, looking up into Kyungsoo's big eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Filming ended a bit early," Kyungsoo said, glancing at the state of Kai and his bed before turning to his own to drop off his bag. "I can go."

"That's... okay," Kai said, not really sure how to navigate the situation.

"You can enjoy some... alone time," Kyungsoo said as he took off his jacket. "I just want to change first. I'll go see a movie or something."

It was probably a very different sort of one, but Kai had been about to watch a movie. "Do you ever watch porn?" he asked. Then he winced as he remembered Kyungsoo had gotten crap from idiots about porn because of his size. Smooth Kai.

"Sometimes," Kyungsoo admitted, without getting irate as he pulled out a black shirt and jeans.

"Do you want to join me?" Kai asked, internally screaming at himself.

"That's weird," Kyungsoo said as he changed into the jeans and shirt in front of Kai. Kai was going to take that as a sign he wasn't freaked out by the offer.

"I do it with Taemin," Kai said.

"What you do with your boyfriend is your business," Kyungsoo said, his tone teasing.

"Taemin is not my boyfriend."

"Dispatch says he is."

Kai rolled his eyes because he was not arguing with that stupidity any more. Bad enough his sister called after that article and wanted to know why he never told her he found his Mr. Right. "It's just an offer. You can always leave if it gets awkward."

Kyungsoo glanced over at him with one of those expressions that was blank and unreadable. "You are way too comfortable in your sexuality."

"Maybe," Kai said with a shrug. "But I bet it's better than not being comfortable in it at all."

"Fine," Kyungsoo said after a moment, and Kai didn't know what was 'fine' until he was sitting on the bed.

"You sure?"

"No. But start the movie."

Kai moved the laptop between them and kept the blanket over his lap as he hit play. There wasn't much lead up, which was good since it was in Japanese and Kai knew about seven phrases in the language. Two men met at a bar, some poorly delivered dialogue, and then they were at a hotel room. The good parts were pixelated, but the mind filled in what was needed. From the corner of his eye Kai saw Kyungsoo run a finger over his lower lip as one man went down on the other.

Despite his earlier reaction, Kyungsoo watched the porn with the same level of focused interest he did any movie. Meaning he didn't notice Kai watching him and making mental notes of which parts drew what kind of reactions from Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo was having a reaction. There was a definite bulge growing in his pants, and the sight of that was giving Kai more of a reaction than the porn he was hardly watching anymore. But it wasn't until the camera starting showing closeups of the well-lubed ass with a pair of fingers working in and out of it, that Kyungsoo moved to rub himself through the material of his pants.

So Kyungsoo got turned on looking at a man's behind being made ready to fuck. Kai flushed and thought that might be a good sign for him as he pushed a hand into his shorts and gave his own hard cock a squeeze.

The man getting screwed in the movie made incredibly attractive, breathy sounds. Kyungsoo unbuttoned the top of his jeans as his eyes drifted closed. His lips were just slightly parted like they had been that night Kai caught him masturbating. He was gorgeous to watch as he moved his freehand to rest on the bed between himself and Kai, and then he just froze.

"Kai, what am I touching?"

Kai was pretty sure it was the elastic of his own underwear and didn't know how to answer. Then he looked at Kyungsoo's other hand on the mattress, on top of the dildo Kai had been intending to use later. Crap. "Um," he said as Kyungsoo opened his eyes to look himself. He jerked his hand away and shoved himself off Kai's bed so quick he nearly hit his head on the underside of Chanyeol's bunk.

"I have to go," Kyungsoo said, buttoning his pants and grabbing his jacket. Then he was gone.


They were in Japan the next time Kai was able to get a moment alone with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo snuck out at the end of practice and was sitting on a bench in an empty hallway. Kai followed when he could get away from Sehun's chatter without being a dick, grabbing a couple bottles of water on his way. Mostly to have a prop and something he could say when he approached the elusive Kyungsoo. "Water?" he said, holding out one of the bottles. Damn. Now he was out of things to say.

"Sure," Kyungsoo said, accepting it. "Thanks." He opened the water and nodded to the space next to him. "Want to sit?"

Kai sat down and opened his own bottle of water, playing with the cap in one hand as he took a drink. Maybe he should have come up with a few other things to say instead of winging it; his mind was blank.

"Sorry I ran off the other day," Kyungsoo said, saving him the trouble. "I panicked."

"That's okay. I get it was awkward," Kai said. "I didn't mean for you to see... that. I wasn't going to use it with you there."

"That thing was huge."

Kai blushed even as he shrugged his shoulders. "It's what I like."

Kyungsoo nodded as he started at the wall opposite the bench they were seated on. "Y'know," he said softly, slowly. "Other boys teased me about my size when I was growing up. I got it in my head that I was a freak. If I ever liked a guy, no matter how nice I was, no matter what I did, we could only be friends because he'd reject me if I ever wanted more. I never considered my... situation might appeal to anyone."

Kai wasn't a violent person, but he kind of wished he could go back in time and punch a few people on Kyungsoo's behalf. Preferably with the ability to jump back to the future before he was caught and charged with assault. He was probably giving too much thought to a hypothetical. "You have a lot going on for you, Soo," Kai said. "Not only the physical endowment, but also the non-physical stuff."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, I really do," Kai said as he ran a hand through his hair.

Kyungsoo sighed and twisted the cap back on his water bottle. "We should get back before they send someone after us."

Kai crinkled his nose, not really wanting to go hear the end of Sehun's rambling story, but didn't disagree. He was about to get up when Kyungsoo leaned in front of him, incredibly close. So incredibly close he could see how the dark pupils blended into Kyungsoo's dark, dark brown eyes, see that nervous furrow of his brow. Then heart-shaped lips pressed to his, slightly parted to share the damp heat. The open water bottle fell out of Kai's hand and splashed the side of his leg as it hit the floor. But a wet leg hardly registered because Kyungsoo was kissing him so sweetly; Kyungsoo's fingertips were lightly stroking a path from beneath his ear down the side of his neck.

They stared deep into each other's eyes after their lips parted.

The moment was magic, and utterly ruined by someone shouting for them.