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Secrets have gotten out. So now what?

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To say that Lance was tired was a huge understatement. Lance was incredibly tired, but not in his usual I didn't sleep enough way. For the past 9 fucking earth days, he'd woken up screaming from a nightmare. This did happen to him occasionally, but never so many times in a row. Not since. Well, that's a story for later. So Lance was tired nothing new, really. It didn't help though that he'd been on the edge of tears and Allura had sounded a fake alarm to get them to the deck faster. Lance had been raking his sharpest razor blade over his skin and boi oh boi did that take a bit of time to clean and bandage up. When he got to the deck only to hear their groans and lectures he had almost cried. The keyword here is almost. He sucked it up and followed them to the training deck.

"Now, Paladins since we haven't gone through the mind meld since the last not-so-great first try. I say we give it another go!" Coran said pumping his fist. The paladins reluctantly put the headsets or whatever they were on. Lance tried his best to keep it together. He really did, but he was so exhausted. He regretted putting the headset on the moment he felt the link. He tried to grasp a clear thought only to think about why he couldn't think clearly.

"Lance get it together!" Keith said annoyed. unfortunately for Lance, he thought about why he hadn't been sleeping so great and then his mind drifted off to his nightmares. Showing them to the team.

--------------Lance's mind meld dream thing----

"Get it together!" A voice screamed at what the paladins assumed was a younger version of Lance. The younger Lance cowered in front of a man with the same hair and skin tone as Lance.

"I-I'm sorry dad. I'll try harder. I thought I did good this time." The young Lance stuttered out to his father.

"WELL IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH NOW WAS IT!" His father yelled causing Lance to take a step back. His father growled and snatched his for arm causing Lance to wince. "You're never good enough. You're weak, whiny, and a worthless idiot." His father scolded thrashing his arm around a bit.

"I'm sorry" Lance muttered wiggling out of the strong grip and running to his room. Outside of the room, a loud huff was heard and footsteps slowly padding away. Lance sighed in relief.

His momentary peace was interrupted by his sister snidely opening the door looking at his tear-stained face and saying "Ya deserve it, you know. Bitch." The door closed and Lance started to sob. The paladins watched in horror as Lance lifted up his sleeve to reveal long scars that stretched across his arms. He pulled out a razor blade and started slicing up his beautiful tan skin.

"Worthless, stupid, idiot. You don't deserve anything." Lance muttered. The about 10-year-old Lance stopped suddenly and opened a tiny box at the foot of his bed. He quickly wrapped his wounds and stood up. The paladins watched as the young Lance slowly crept out of his room. He stopped past his living room only to hear his family laughing as if they weren't just screaming at him and insulting him moments earlier. Lances chest stung as he crept out the front door and ran.

The young blue paladin in the memory slowly walked. For the first time in the memories, the other paladins watched as Lance smiled at the sky for seemingly no reason. Lance walked onto a beach seemingly knowing exactly where to go as if it were the back of his hand. He sat down in the shade of some trees.

"It feels so nice to run away." Lance said talking to himself. He smiled and continued. "Ah. I love it here. I feel so relaxed." They watched as the young boy dipped his feet into the water smiling widely. That smile soon faded to a somber one as he quietly sang happy birthday to himself. "Happy birthday to me. Congratulations on living for ten years in this place. " Lance flopped on his side.

"Well what do we have here?" Lance whipped around to see 4 masked men standing behind him. When did they get here!!?? Lance stood up panicking. Lance tried to dash away but was quickly caught by the men. The men gagged him and bound his hands and feet.

"Quick strip him." One of the men yelled holding tightly onto Lance to prevent him from getting away.

The paladins gasped wh-this couldn't be real. The Lance they know is so happy and loving and kind. There was no way. The paladins were broken out of the trance by a loud thud. They watched as Lance with tears streaming down his face. Ran out of the room.

"L- Lance, wait." Hunk tried to scramble up but was beaten by Keith who dashed out the door with Shiro. Pidge turned around and helped him up and they soon followed.

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The team checked Lance's room first. He wasn’t there. The team moved out of his room the need to find him pushing them to go just a bit faster. “Maybe we should give him some space.” Pidge suggested.

“No, we should find him. He might do something dangerous. We also need to talk to him.” Hunk said. Pidge nodded, understanding. After checking a few more spots Keith suggested that they check blue. Everyone mumbled an agreement. The paladins walked into Blue’s hangar and were met with Blue growling with her shield up. Shiro stepped up to Blue’s shield first.

“Blue please let us in. We want to talk to him. We won't hurt him. Please, Blue.” Shiro begged. Blue rumbled and did not budge.

Hunk stepped up to the shield and said “ Blue, please girl. We love him. We just want to talk, you know I’d never hurt him.” Hunk looked back at the entire team. Trying to encourage them to say something.

“I love him Blue, and I’m pretty sure everyone here does too. Please let us in.” Pidge pipped up.

Keith nodded and said “I love him too we all do Blue. Please, I don’t think he should be alone right now.” Keith looked to the other paladins who all nodded their heads assuring him that what he said was right.

Blue rumbled and the shield disappeared. “Thank you.” Keith said. They all walked up to blue and blue lowered her head to let them in. They all walked in and found what they mostly expected but definitely not prepared for. Lance was huddled in a ball in the corner. A bloody razor blade on the floor next to him.

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Shiro was at Lance’s side first. The Cuban boy was sobbing hysterically muttering apologies. “It’s ok. You’re ok now Lance. Lance listen to my voice.”

“I’m s-sorry, so sorry. P-please don’t hurt me.” Lance stuttered out as he tightly gripped his knees.

“Lance you’re ok. Can you hear me bud?” Hunk asked crouching down by the blue-eyed boy.

“Hunk, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. You’re ok. Can you tell me 5 things you can see and 3 things you can hear.” Hunk said trying to calm the boy.

“I-I can see you, Shiro, P-Pidge, the floor, and Keith?”

“You’re doing great, bud.” Hunk said encouragingly.

“I’m fine, now. I think.” Lance said looking up at everyone. “Thanks. I’ll go now. You guys don’t have to bother.”

“Lance. We love you and we’re going to stay.” Keith said stepping forward.

“You don’t have to I mean I understand if you want me to leave. I know I’m just a stand-in until you get a new blue paladin; a better one.” Lance looked down and fumbled with his hands tugging at his sleeves. He nervously looked at the blade on the floor which when Shiro followed his line of sight, quickly scooped it up.

“No way in HELL!” Pidge yelled causing Lance to flinch. Pidge lowered her voice not wanting to alarm Lance like that again and said. “ I’m sorry but, there is No. Way. In. Hell. That you are leaving us. You were chosen by blue because she saw how great you were. She had all the other fucking paladins to choose from and She. Chose. You. You are important Lance and we love you. I HATe the people who made you start to think that way. “ Pidge said sternly.

Lance just looked down. “Lance can I look at your arms please.” Shiro said softly. Lance slowly rolled up his sleeves. His head hanging in shame. The paladins breathing hitched when they saw the damage. It was awful. His arm was covered in scars and recent wounds.

“We’ve got to treat this Lance. I don’t think you should go in a pod but, we still need to clean and bandage it.” Shiro stood up and offered the shaking Cuban boy a hand which he took with a bit of hesitation. The walk to the med bay was silent and awkward. No one wanting to break it.

Shiro silently bandaged Lance's wounds. Only quietly muttering sorry when he had to disinfect them. “Let's move to the lounge and talk alright?” Shiro said motioning the others to follow him and Lance. Shiro had put his hand on Lance’s back pushing him slightly in the direction of the lounge. Just a precaution in Shiro’s mind.

Chapter Text

Once they had all situated themselves in the lounge Shiro spoke. “So-uh, Lance we ah, saw your memories as you know and I think we should talk about it.” Shiro said trying to get his thoughts together.

“I uh, so what do you want to know.” The blue-eyed boi said shrinking in on himself.

“How did you cope? How do you smile like it’s nothing?” Pidge asked immediately not able to stop herself from asking. Shiro looked at her slightly disapproving, but wanting to know himself.

“Well as you probably already know, I didn’t have the best coping mechanism. I-I think that I just got so used to having to smile and pretend to be happy that I became good at doing it without thinking even though that’s not quite how it is, I can’t really put it to words?” Lance answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me-tell us?” Hunk asked sounding a bit hurt. Lance hesitated but, responded shortly.

“I just- wh-what was I supposed to say? Ah, yeah, I didn’t have a great childhood and was probably abused and I had a bad run-in with some dudes on a beach, also I feel like trash? It-It just never really came up. I was fine with things being like that, ok?” The Cuban boy said exasperatedly. Lance shrunk in on himself looking afraid and ashamed from his spot on the couch.

“I’m sorry.” Keith pipped up. “I’m so, so, sorry that you felt like you couldn’t trust any of us enough to tell us.” Keith said sincerely looking into Lance’s eyes. Lance started crying letting out a heartbreaking sob. Keith enveloped Lance in his arms. The other paladins moved in and made it a group hug. A sobbing Lance in the center. Keith whispered reassuring things to Lance.

Eventually when Lance had finally calmed down a bit. Pidge blurted out. “You know I love you all, right?”

“Yes, Pidge, we all know. I love you all too.” Shiro said.

“No, I mean I love, love all of you. Like Romantically.” Pidge exclaimed.

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“I agree with Pidge.” Keith said quietly while the rest were stunned. “I love all of you guys like that too if that's ok with you guys.” Keith said.

“I do too.” Hunk said looking at everyone.

“I dunno.” Shiro said. “I’m just so much older than you guys.” Shiro said specifically looking to Pidge.

“But you agree that you do love us too?” Pidge looked at Shiro who gave a small nod. “Well, technically I’m a whole lot older than I am because of weird space-time thingy. I’m like what, 19 technically? Shiro, we love you, you love us. We are all technically legal, consenting adults.” Pidge said, giving Shiro her puppy dog eyes.

“Well-I-UGH I can’t deny you when you look at me like that.” Shiro said. Pidge happily bounced with a smirk on her face. They all then looked to Lance, who hadn’t said anything recently they noted.

“Lance it’s ok dude if you don’t want to be a part of this.” Hunk said putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“No, no, I love all of you guys too. It’s just that, I really don’t believe that you all love me. I mean there’s nothing to love, really.” Lance said staring at the floor.

“Well I love you because you’re hot, smart, and AMAZING! I love you, AND YOU WILL TAKE MY LOVE AND YOU WILL FEEL IT!!” Pidge exclaimed hugging Lance's side like a koala. Lance laughed softly which made everyone smile.

“So like, hows this going to work?” Keith said. “Are we like all dating now or what.”

“Well, I’d say that’s ok. Like we're all in a big equal group relationship. We can start being more coupley?” Shiro added. The paladins nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s just let it happen.” Hunk said. “Also If I make any of you feel uncomfortable at any time, I want you to tell me immediately.” Hunks said trying to make sure he didn’t overstep any boundaries.

“Let’s all go to sleep now, it’s been quite the day.” Shiro said. Everyone mumbled agreements and goodnights and left to their rooms.

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Lance was not looking forward to sleeping. Sleeping probably meant another nightmare. Which meant more pain. Sure all the paladins had said they loved him and that they were now in a relationship but, he still wasn’t convinced. After all, he was still unwanted whatever wheel he was now. Lance cried silently while he was preparing to go to bed.

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“Lance, Lance, wake up it’s just a nightmare.” Pidge had walked to Lance’s door. To reassure him that she loved him and that he was wanted. It only had a tiny, tiny bit to do with the fact that she couldn’t sleep and wanted to cuddle. Only a tiny bit. Pidge had arrived at the blue paladin’s door only to hear whimpering and what sounded like a struggle. Out of concern she had unlocked it and let herself in. “Lance, come on, wake up.” Pidge shook Lance’s shoulder trying to awaken the boy.

“Wh-whats happening?” Lance said groggily, sitting up.

“Nothing. You were having a nightmare.” Pidge stated.

“Oh.” Lance sat and stared at the wall then looked to Pidge confused. “Pidge, no offense I love that you are here but, why are you here?” Lance asked quirking an eyebrow.

“Well, you see, uh.” Pidge stuttered to regain her thoughts. She played with the hem of her shirt. “I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d come here. I wanted to uh cuddle if that’s ok with you?” Pidge said softly.

Lance immediately raised the sheets immediately inviting the younger girl in. “Come on in. It won’t bother me.”

“Thanks.” Pidge said softly and climbed in, relishing in the warmth. Soon they both fell back into a deep sleep. No nightmares.

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The next morning everyone was gathered in their mess hall as Shiro called it. Everyone except Lance and Pidge were there at least. Shiro had set out to find them. Pidge wasn’t in her room which wasn’t exactly unusual but did make Shiro a bit upset because that probably meant that Pidge had stayed up all night, surrounded by her tech.

It would take a bit to find her so he settled on waking up Lance first. When he walked into Lance’s room he was not prepared to behold the cuteness on the bed. On the bed, Pidge was cuddled up close to Lance's chest. Lance had his arms tightly wrapped around her small frame.

They were cuddled up close looking a tad bit cold. Probably because the blue blanket that had probably covered them was now discarded on the floor. Shiro chuckled. It was a sight to behold. He wished he could’ve taken a picture. But alas they have their training to do.

Shiro gently shook Lance waking up both him and Pidge in the process. Shiro had to repress a rather unmanly squeal when Lance and Pidge sat up and in sink rubbed their eyes. Pidge probably out of habit reached out to try and find her glasses but had only managed to grab Lance’s ass. Which earned a squeal from the Cuban boy. Shiro laughed.

“Not funny Shiro.” Lance said, smiling himself.

“Sorry.” Pidge muttered.

“It’s alright.” Lance said.

“Here.” Shiro said giving the girl her glasses. “You guys are late to breakfast.” Shiro stated.

“Alrighty.” Lance said hopping out of the bed.

“Ugh.” Pidge groaned at the thought of having to get up and because of the absence of warmth when Lance had left. Pidge soon followed Lance and Shiro as they shuffled to their ‘mess hall’.

As they were walking Shiro said, “You know you guys looked pretty cute together in bed like that.” He winked at them.

“Augh, I am not cute, I am hot.” Lance said laughing.

“Yes, you are.” Pidge said. “A hot THOT.” Pidge bellowed just as the reached the door.

“What’s this about Lance being a hot thot?” Hunk said quirking his eyebrow smiling.

“Well, Lance is a hot thot.” Keith stated matter of factly. Lance in response struck a pose and stuck out his ass. Which caused everyone to start laughing. Except the Altean ’s who were just a bit confused. This was only the beginning of the shenanigans.

Chapter Text

Surprisingly, the first ones to kiss each other were Lance and Shiro. Lance had been having a rough day and had been looking down on the lounge couch. Shiro had sat down next to Lance on the couch and had swung an arm around Lance’s shoulder. The Cuban boy had leaned against Shiro. Shiro had looked down at the boy and could not contain himself. Lance just looked so hot. “Can I kiss you?” Shiro had blurted out.

Lance had sat up alert and looked Shiro in the eyes and had said. “Yes...Daddy.” Lance had said, not giving Shiro time to recover he had pecked him on the lips quickly and had run off. The rest of the paladins, who had been standing in the doorway just having come in started heartily laughing.

Lance ran to the others and joined them. The laughed even harder when Shiro turned to look at them. Shiro was as red as Keith’s lion. “B-what thehell;askdjf; iojvfn;a” Shiro blurted putting his face in his hands.

“Good job Lance, you broke daddy.” Keith said gesturing to the flustered black paladin, who was currently having a meltdown on the couch.

“Now, now, don’t tease him too much you two.” Hunk said staring specifically at Pidge’s camera in her hands.

“Oh- but I think we found a certain someone’s kink.” Pidge said wiggling her eyebrows, which earned a whine from Shiro.

“Don’t worry, daddy, we won’t tease you too much.” Keith said, smirking. Shiro turned even redder if that was even possible. ‘Daddy’ whined and dramatically fell off the couch to the floor.

Pidge walked to Shiro and then promptly flopped on top of him, causing the black paladin to squeak. “What are you? Are ya a squeaky toy?” Pidge giggled.

“No!” Shiro pouted.

“You aren’t helping your case much, daddy.” Lance teased, winking.

Shiro groaned. “Stop it, you guys.” Pidge started laughing which made everyone else break too. Lance sauntered over with Keith and sat next to Pidge and Shiro, Hunk opted to sit on the grey couch.

“It’s no fair that you guys got to kiss each other.” Keith said pouting, surprising the others.

“What you want a kiss Keithy?” Lance teased moving closer to the boy.

“Yes.” Keith puffed out his cheeks for the dramatic flare. Keith leaned closer to Lance and Lance kissed him. It soon turned into a full make-out session. Lance sitting on Keith’s lap.

Pidge turned to Shiro and quickly pecked him on the lips and then sat on Hunks lap and also gave him a quick peck. “Hey, you two there are others in this room.” Pidge said causing Lance and Keith to break apart and blush. Pidge walked over to the 2 and gave them kisses.

“Now I’ve kissed everyone first!” Pidge said doing a happy little gremlin dance.

“Aww, no fair.” Lance pouted.

Hunk walked over and gave him a peck and said. “Well, there ya go.” Lance smiled.

Chapter Text

When Lance had retired to his room for the day he felt more lonely than ever. He sat down on his bed feeling the strong urge to cry. "Why do I have to be like this?" The blue-eyed boy muttered, he curled in on himself.

'They don't need you.' Lance's dark thoughts told him. Lance sighed, feeling sad and empty he walked over to the wall. He put his hand inbetween the wall and a sheet of metal. He fished out a small razor blade with a bit of dried blood on it. 'You're so pathetic.' his thoughts haunted him.

He made one slice on his arm after another, forgetting about everything else. He rolled down his pants and made a couple there too. When Lance finally felt done he hid the blade again. He went to his bathroom and took a shower hoping at least most of the bleeding would stop when he got out.

When the boy finally got out of the shower he felt empty. He put on some pants.

Lance flopped onto his bed, his chest feeling increasingly heave, his eyes stinging. The building up of stress feeling appearing in his throat. The boy finally let a sob. A very undignified sob, a very loud one. Lance jerked up when he heard his door open. Lance panicked. He didn't have a shirt on. Keith could see his wounds.

Keith walked up to the panicking boy and said. "I'm here, it's ok now." After a soft hug Keith looked down into Lance's blue eyes. "We need to treat your cuts, Lance."

"I-It's fine." Lance croaked.

"Your not, and it's not, Lance. We need to treat them, ok?" Keith said almost crying himself. Lance shook his head no. "Please, I love you, and I want to help you." Keith pulled Lance up. He gestured for the boy to follow him and he did, but his head was hanging low. Keith cursed himself for not knowing how to deal with stuff like this. He'd talk to Shiro about this, for sure, but now he needed to tend to Lance.

After Keith had treated Lance's wounds Shiro walked in. 'Well that's convenient' Keith thought. "Shiro." Keith said in a tone that made Shiro walk over immediately.

Chapter Text

“What’s wr-” Shiro was cut off as he found his answer. He saw Lance with red-rimmed puffy eyes. He had obviously been crying, but what caught Shiro’s eyes was the fresh bandages over the boys arms. Once Shiro’s focus had gone off of Lance's arms he took notice of all the scars crisscrossing on Lance’s back. “L-Lance where did you get those scars?” Shiro looked to Lance hoping that they were just battle wounds, but he knew they weren’t. They were too old to be from the boys time with Voltron.

Lance looked down. “I-I they’re.” tears formed in Lance’s eyes.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to force yourself.” Shiro said and hugged Lance.

Keith kissed the Cuban boy ’s forehead. “Now for a more pressing matter. Can you please tell me where you put the blade?” Keith asked. Looking into Lance’s eyes.

Lance sighed and looked away.. “Please, Lance, baby.” Keith begged. Lance’s eyes had snapped up with the nickname.

“Alright, I’ll give it to you.” Lance said hesitantly. The trio silently walked to Lance’s room, Lance walking in between the other two. When they got to the blue paladin’s room Lance hesitantly led them to a wall. Keith stood next to the boy expectantly and Shiro put a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder, which caused Lance to flinch. Shiro quickly retracted his hand.

“S-sorry Shiro.” Lance said.

“Don’t be.” Shiro said smiling brightly at Lance.

Lance reached behind the slightly loose panel on the wall and fished out the blade and handed it to Keith. “Thank you.” Keith whispered and wrapped Lance in a warm hug.

After they pulled apart Shiro said. “Lance, do you have any more?”

Lance looked down. “N-no.”

Shiro could sense he wasn’t telling the truth. “Lance, please don’t lie to me.”

“I’m sorry, here.” Lance walked to a corner of his room and pulled out a blade and handed it to Shiro. “That’s my last one.”

“Thank you so, so much. I love you, Lancey boi.” Shiro pulled Lance into a hug and kissed him.

“Well, now I feel like a third wheel.” Keith said.

Chapter Text

‘Allura had given u a rare day off, unless the galra attacked of course.’ Shiro thought. ‘So naturally, Keith had immediately gone to the training room, Hunk had gone to the kitchen, Pidge had gone to some hole somewhere to do techy stuff, and Lance, what was Lance doing?’ Shiro thought, suddenly being hit with a wave of worry.

Shiro’s pace picked up as he walked to Lance’s usual spots. He wasn’t with blue, or in his room, he wasn’t helping Coran, or Allura.

Shiro decided to check to see if any of the other paladins had seen him. He checked with Hunk first.

“Hunk have you seen Lance since this morning?” Shiro asked.

“No, why?” Hunk turned looking like a house mom with the way he turned holding up his Altean spatula thing.

“It’s just, I can’t find him.” Shiro said.

“I’ll help you look, just give me a second.” Hunk took off his apron and put away what he was cooking.

The pair left, trying Pidge next. “Hey, Pidge have you seen Lance?” Shiro asked.

Pidge didn’t look away from her work but answered. “Nope. Why dya ask?”

“We can’t find him, and we haven’t seen him since early this morning.” Hunk said.

Pidge didn’t say anything but, she got up and followed the duo as they went to ask Keith. “Keithy, have you seen Lance?” Shiro asked.

“No?” Keith replied, stopping the simulator. “Why?”

“We can’t find him, no one has seen him since this morning, and I’m worried.” Shiro said, worry lines appearing on his forehead.

Pidge made a list of places left to check and the paladins split up to find the Cuban boy.

“Lance, Lance?” Shiro called as he searched, they were all getting desperate. Shiro was checking the corridors by the hangers. Shiro stopped, he heard a small muffled noise. “Lance?” Shiro heard a muffled sob he was sure of it. “Lance, where are you?” Shiro asked softly.

“Here.” Came a muffled reply. Shiro turned towards the noise. A vent? Shiro slowly pried the grate off of the wall.

 

Shiro looked in to find a small shaking Lance wrapped up in a blanket. He had obviously been crying. “I’m sorry.” Lance croaked out.

“What for?” Shiro asked kneeling down so he was eye level with the boy in the vent.

“Sorry, don’t hurt me, I’m so sorry.” Lance’s eyes were hazy, he couldn’t see Shiro. He was having a flashback of some sort.

Chapter Text

Shiro called the rest of the paladins to him.

“Pidge?” The young girl turned to Shiro. “Can you go in there and calm him down? No one else can fit in with him.” Shiro said.

“Sure.” Pidge nodded and climbed into the vent.
“Lance?” Pidge asked softly. Lance responded with a hard flinch, which made Pidge’s heart wrench. “Lance, can you count down from seventeen by threes for me? Please.” Lance gave her a small nod. “Seventeen.” Pidge tried to make herself seem not as threatening.

“Sev-Seventeen.” Came a shaky response. The paladins outside of the vent breathed a sigh of relief.

“Fifteen.” Pidge went slowly. When they had gotten to zero Lance had calmed for the most part.

“Sorry,” Lance muttered.

“Don’t be,” Pidge said taking his head. “Now let’s get out of here alright? It’s getting a bit stuffy.” Lance sat upright and nodded his head. Following Pidge, they slowly made their way out. Hunk quickly caught Pidge as she plopped out of the vent, and Shiro caught Lance.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Shiro said, hugging the shaky Cuban boy. Everything was alright, for now.