On a ship like Serenity, it was hard not to overhear things in the crew quarters, when one walked through the corridors, particularly at night, as Simon found out those first few days since he and River had boarded as passengers.
Passing by the door to the room occupied by the block-headed merc, he overheard a lusty chuckle. "There yah go, all prettied up now," his low, rumbling voice murmured. "Let's have us some more fun, next time? Who's mah special lady?"
Clearly, the merc had company, and Simon wasn't sure he wanted to know more. He started to step away, but the merc must have sensed something: the door to his cabin opened and the guy stepped out into the hallway, fully dressed and hefting about the biggest, scariest looking rifle Simon never wanted to see.
"Lookin' fer somethin', Doc?" he asked, challenging him.
"No, I was on my way to my cabin," Simon replied, trying not to stare at the gun or look past the big guy into his room, expecting to find a dock harpy there, but seeing nothing but a set of gun cleaning tools laid out on the bed.
"What, yah thought I had yer sister in there?" the merc teased. "I've been with this lady all this time. Her name's Vera."
"I see," Simon said, non-committally. "I suppose a...fine piece of artillery deserves a fine name."
"Yeah, but hands off her: she's all mine," he said, shifting the gun as if he might level it.
"I'm not experienced in the use of firearms, so there's no chance of me trying to sway her," Simon replied.
"Yeah, you ain't man enough for her: she kicks like a mule when she gets frisky," the merc replied.
Simon decided against dignifying that with a jab in return. "Then I'll leave you two lovebirds together." And he went on his way.