Are we taking time, or a time out?
I can't take the in-between
Asking me for space here in my house
You know how to fuck with me
Acting like we're not together
After everything that we've been through
Sleeping up under the covers
How am I so far away from you?
“I told you...I don’t want to talk.” Buffy growled, sliding her fingers into Elana as the she kissed the unnatural redhead with dark aggression. “You know what I want…” She smirked when her ex shivered under her whisper and touch.
“F-fuck...B-Buffy…” Elana whimpered, her hips immediately responding to the slayers touch. It wasn’t fair.
“Quiet. You’re going to be quiet.” Handcuffs bound Elana to the bed and she tugged on the headboard she was attached to before Buffy removed her fingers, licking them smugly. “I’m in control, Elana. I told you I’d stop if you weren’t quiet and tried to move.”
The shapeshifter whimpered before she was smacked in the face.
“You’re hopeless. Maybe I should just leave.”
Elana shook her head violently.
Buffy smiled sadistically. “Since you look so pitiful…let’s say strike three?”
Elana nodded, looking up at her with bashful gratitude.
“Stop it…” Buffy fought a smile as she felt herself blushing. “Are your wrists ok?”
“I told you they’re fine.” Elana smiled at her lovingly, leaning in for another kiss.
“I…” Buffy was cut off, unable to stop Elana’s tenderness from melting her into the sheets. “I hate it when you do that, Polarson.”
“I have to go.”
“I have a meeting.”
“Elana. Don’t. It’s just sex. I-I can’t do anything more than sex. Not now.”
“You won’t let you-”
“Stop it. Please. I could hire a therapist to tell me what you’re going to say. Drop it. Don’t you have a date anyway?” The blonde’s voice was cold.
“I can cancel.”
“He’s your boyfriend.”
“You could join us. I know you like him.”
“No. I’m going to work. And you’re going on a date. Alone.”
“I miss you.” Elana grabbed her wrist and there was that stupid kicked puppy look. “Summers, I miss you.”
“Just Buffy, ok?”
“Right.” She was the worst person in the world.
"I'm Elana by the way."
"Er, thanks. I'm Buffy, the slayer. Well, one of the slayers. The original slayer. I mean, not the ORIGINAL original slayer but like -- shit, forget it. I'm a slayer."
Elana laughed. “I know who you are, Summers.”
“Do you prefer Buffy?”
“I…” The way Elana called her ‘Summers’ made her all tingly and teenagery. “Usually, yeah.” Fuck.
“Sorry, Wil. Zoned.”
“How was your other ‘meeting’?” Willow asked after swallowing a bite of omelette.
“Is it that obvious?” The blonde asked sheepishly.
“Only a lot.” Willow pointed to her own neck for reference.
Buffy’s mouth dropped open and she furiously took out her compact mirror. “I told her not to bite me as-Ahem…never mind.”
“She still loves you…”
“I know.” Buffy chewed her lip and moved her hash browns around.
“I didn’t say anything.” Willow held up her hands in defense as her fork loudly clattered on the plate in protest.
“You didn’t have to, Wil.” Buffy sighed.
“I’m worried about you. Both of you.”
“I know. But...it’ll work out. I just...I need time. And she does too.” The blonde took her best friend’s hand in hers with a half hearted smile.
“If you say so.” Willow didn’t believe a word.
“Do you think she still loves me?” Elana asked quietly.
“I think you need to move on.” Tara replied while squeezing Elana’s hand. “You two are destroying one another. You need to let this go.”
“I don’t want to lose all that I’ve gained in this. I won’t make you all chose sides.”
“Elana…” Tara smiled and hugged her. “We all love you. That’s not going away.”
“Promise?” She asked.
“Promise.” The blonde hugged the taller woman tightly as Elana’s head rested on her shoulder. Tara kissed her forehead. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“We need to stop.” Elana broke the silence with tears streaming down her face as she shook.
“Summers...we’ve tried counseling, we’ve tried taking breaks, we even tried a clean slate...I think it’s time for us to say goodbye. I can’t keep doing this.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“I’ll always love you.”
“Oh. Those words.” Buffy sighed. “I...I’m sorry, Elana. I-I wanted more than anything for us to work.”
“One last kiss?” Buffy asked. “One last..?”
“Kiss. Nothing else. We have to stop.” Elana leaned in and locked eyes with the slayer. “We destroy each other, Buffy.”
“Elana…” The blonde was panicking. “Don’t leave me. You keep me sane. I feel whole when you touch me. You make me feel normal. Like a girl. Like an equal. Don’t leave me.” She touched Elana’s face as she trembled. “Elana, don’t leave me. I love you.”
“D-“ Elana cut her off with a passionate and bruising kiss. She melted, oh she melted. Elana did that every moment.
“Please stop.” The younger woman whispered. “I...I don’t want this. But we need this.”
“How do you know that?” Buffy asked.
Elana’s eyes shone with tears. “Because I’m not in love with you.”
“Summers…” Elana said before biting back a moan. “Buffy. Buffy! Buffy, the food is cold.”
Buffy’s head poked up from Elana’s neck. “Wha-Oh...um...We should probably...oops.” She said as her face and neck turned red. Elana started laughing. Buffy looked guilty. “Sorry...I got...carried away.” She mumbled.
Elana smirked. “There’s no need to apologize. I missed you too.” She said as the smug look softened into a loving smile. “Plus the containers are microwave safe. Don’t feel guilty.” Elana kissed her cheek. “I had a great time.”
Buffy smiled. “I love you.”
Elana rolled her eyes. “Only because picket fences are a cause of death for you.”
Spike smirked. “And because I would never want to mow a bloody lawn.”
“I let her go.” Elana croaked.
He kissed her softly, his blue eyes gazing at her with tenderness. “Come inside. I’ll make you tea.”
She giggled despite it all. “Tea?? William the Bloody making me tea?” It was absurd and wonderful among all the shit bubbling inside of her.
“Get inside, Elana.” Spike huffed.
“Thanks.” She held his hand and wouldn’t let go until she sank into his comfy leather couch.
Spike is fun to kiss. He’s like that chocolate bar at the end of a hard work day that’s waiting patiently for you in the fridge, the freezer or your bedside table. Or that bottle of wine you know you’ll need on Friday night after terrible customers and a dickhead manager. He’s dirty, he’s warm and wrong in all the right ways. He knows exactly how to touch her, exactly how to make her moan. Elana needs him right now. The smell of cigarettes and leather is comforting and relaxes her tense shoulders as he tosses her shirt off the couch and wipes away her tears. “You’re so nice to me.” She chokes out with a pitiful laugh. “We’re supposed to hate each other. You almost ruined my wedding.”
He sighs.”Hellen did most of that, Love.”
She huffs. “Yeah but…” Elana adjusts herself on his lap and melts as he strokes the now blue hair that’s just above her shoulders. “I’m trying to fight back.”
He snorts. “Mhmm…” There’s that smile she brings out of him. The bemused grin that shows he’s tickled by her idiosyncrasies. The smile that makes her stomach swoop in a way she will not deal with until she knows she can offer him what he’s been asking without even realizing it. Because he deserves it after the hell Buffy put them through. He did his time and now it’s time for her to do hers.
“Do you want her still?” Elana asks. She can think the blonde’s name but she can’t fucking say it. Not for awhile.
“A bit. But not the way I used to.” He replied, looking at her with those blue eyes in that puppy dog way that made her smug and guilty. She couldn’t have him until she fixed herself.
“Can I stay here?” She asked before kissing him tenderly.
“As long as you want.” He replied, gently touching her cheek before leaning in again. And Elana felt a little less broken with every touch.