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This is So Sad, Azura sing Lost in Thoughts All Alone

Chapter Text

Shade has added Reinhardt, Lukas of the Deliverance, Prince Berkut, Anthony, Deftater Peeler and 99+ others to the chat!


Shade has renamed the chat to This is so sad, Azura sing Lost in Thoughts all Alone




Shade: I figured this way we can spread important info and data from battles faster




Shade: There are children in this chat


Ike: Well there goes all my plans of sleeping in to avoid fantastical fitness hour


Eliwood: Mood™




Shade: Eliwood is the tru dad friend


Shade has changed Eliwood's name to Tru Dad


Tru Dad: Thanks Shade. Now get some rest, I know your anxiety keeps you up at night.


Shade: Good Night


Tru Dad: Sweet Dreams


Shade is now Idle


Berkut: h o w??????


Tru Dad: Nini and Roy IG


Tru Dad: Plus experience from myself. Nothing I need to ramble on at 3 am


Ike: Whatever. Shade won't mind if I add a couple of my bros from smash?


Ike has added Richter Belmont, Pit Icarus and Daisy Sarasa to the chat!


Ike has changed his name to RADiant Hero


Richter: the fuk Ike. It's 2 am over here.


RADiant Hero: Blame my insomniac summoner. She started this.


RADiant Hero: Also Tru Dad is Eliwood aka Roy's dad


Tru Dad: Hello!


Richter: I can smell the dad friend smell off of him.


RADiant Hero: Plus Anthony misses you. A lot.




Richter is now offline

Tru Dad is idle

RADiant Hero is idle

Berkut: I'm trying to fucking sleep so beats me.

Berkut is idle


Frederick: Yeesh....


Anthony has changed Frederick's name to Frederick Kruger

Anthony is offline


Frederick Kruger: This'll be a disaster won't it?



Chapter Text

Anthony: So I'm just gonna slip the new heroes into the chat

Anthony has added Kaden, Keaton, Velouria and Selkie to the chat!

Anthony has renamed the chat FURRIES UNITE

Gaius: Woah woah kid u forgot someone

Gaius has added Panne to the chat!

Shade is online

Shade has renamed the chat This is so sad, Azura sing lost in thoughts all alone

Shade: Anthony we don't change the name.

Anthony: But new heroes!

Anthony: And their furries!

Gaius: Panne is a taguel. Not a furry

Keaton: Kid, the term is wolfskin and kitsune

Shade: This is what happens when you expose this pure child to the internet

Shade: Also your waifu has 7 alts

Keaton: how do u know?

Shade: She ded ass told me she was into you

RADiant Hero: O O F

RADiant Hero has changed Keaton's name to Titmilla Sucker

RADiant Hero: I think that fits.

Lon'qu: The fuk did I miss since you people want to be up @3am

Shade: Nothin much

Frederick Kruger: Shade, we need to put a limit on who can change names.

Shade: Lissa got your tongue?

Anthony is now offline

Lon'qu: That explains it.

Reinhardt: Morning! <(^.^)>

Reinhardt: Shade, new announcement

Shade: Anthony told me by renaming the chat into something bout furries.

Gaius: Furry porn?

Shade has changed Gaius' name to Rabbit Furry Fucker

Reinhardt: S H A D E

Shade: I know what goes on Gaius.

Shade: I have the power of the Helix Fossil and anime on my side.

Shade: Also mood name Frederick.

Chrom: Why is the device pinging so rapidly?

Shade: Notifications. Mainly for important stuff

Reinhardt has changed Chrom's name to Shitty Ike clone

Shitty Ike clone: Rude

Shitty Ike clone has changed his name to Google Chrom

Google Chrom: Much better

Richter: Should I even ask?

Shade: How did you even get in here?

Richter: @RADiant Hero

RADiant Hero: rude thanks

RADiant Hero has changed Richter's name to A MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS

Shade: Nah it needs to be more appropriate

Shade has changed A MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS name to Alucard's Whore

Alucard's Whore: ok FIRST OF ALL

Shade: You like vampire dick.

Google Chrom: @Sigurd, this guy's getting roasted harder than you at the Bellhalla BBQ

Sigurd: Fuck off Chrom

Arvis: I was going to make a comment but then I realized this thing will fall apart on itself

Sigurd: Like your marriage TO MY WIFE and YOUR HALF SISTER!?


Shade: Don't drag her into this. I know you want to fuck each other.

Reinhardt: S H A D E W H A T T H E A C T U A L F U C K

Reinhardt has banned Shade from This is so sad, Azura sing lost in thoughts all alone.

Reinhardt: Now maybe the chat will be more civilized.

Reinhardt: Or at least calm down till Shade can control herself.

Reinhardt has changed Alucard's Whore's name to Richter

Reinhardt had changed Rabbit Furry Fucker's name to Gaius

Gaius: Tiny hands how did you even ban the creator of the chat?

Google Chrom: Don't get mad about the hands thing, he just calls everyone by a nickname.

Anthony is online

Anthony: Dude, I saw the entire thing. How are we this messed up?

Arvis: H????

Anthony: When I was hiding from Frederick, Lissa was able to show me how this thing imploded on itself.

Anthony: Like Shade's self esteem.


Google Chrom: Prolly u fucker

Arvis: F

Sigurd: F

Gaius: F

Chapter Text

Reinhardt: Ok now that Shade is gone we need to establish rules. We’re keeping the name, but we need to restrain the swearing. Especially if Anthony is here.


Anthony: But i say the F word all the time.


Berkut: *spits out dick*




Lon’qu: Right….


Lon’qu has changed Berkut’s name to Dick Drinker




Anthony: Fergalicious


Lon’qu: Crisis averted. Now can we add Shade back?


Reinhardt: Hold on a sec, she forgot to add the Askr trio


Reinhardt as added Prince Alfonse, Princess Sharena, Commander Anna and Shade to the chat!


Shade has removed Prince Alfonse and Commander Anna from the chat


Shade has banned Prince Alfonse and Commander Anna from This is so sad, Azura sing Lost in Thoughts All Alone


Shade: Too buzzkilly for me man.


Sharena: No wonder you didn’t hold me back from calling him a cockatoo.

Shade: Nice nickname Berkut. Did Fernand set it up?


Dick Drinker: No, your shit.


Shade: My what?


Dick Drinker has changed Lon’qu’s name to Shade’s Taco Bell Shit


Shade: Ok i just went through the chat and…


Shade: How does this child know about Fergalicious?


Shade: And my emotional issues?


Shade: Also petition to keep Keaton’s name as Titmilla sucker


[Shade has sent Something About Castlevania Animated. Mpv]


Shade: @Richter


Shade: I found your grandpa’s sex tape.


Richter: That’s not even a sex tape?


Shade: But it sounds like it.


Reinhardt has muted Shade from This is So Sad, Azura sing lost in thoughts all alone


Reinhardt: Also that voice clip was that OG Richter voice?


Richter: Maybe… Puberty’s wierd


Lyn: If you think about it, funerals are just family reunions but with one less member and a lot more hate


Richter: And u are????








Anthony: Run


Reinhardt has unmuted Shade


Chapter Text

Shade: A moment of silence for the lost of Gustav. Press F to pay respects


Lon’qu: F


Raquesis: F


Tiki: F


Reinhardt: F


Gustav: But I’m not even dead?


Shade: @Sharena I don’t remember inviting your dad to the chat. Also @Gustav how are you alive? We saw your head get cut off by Rita Repulsive.


Eir: @Shade you should be suprised how efficiently @Lyon helped me make a random corpse look like him.


Shade: Someone explain to me what’s going on


???: Hel might be death itself but I command death. So Hel is essentially my bitch.


Shade: Ok who are you and why is your name blurred like that.


???: I cannot reveal that at this time. L8r nerds


Shade: Was that Lyon?


Lyon: No I’m right here…


Shade: *thinking emoji*


Eir: Well at least we have one less body count on our hands?


Shade: Yeah. Still doesn’t explain where my orbs went.

Chapter Text

Alm has added Gray to the chat


Alm: @Kliff @Tobin @Faye @Lukas @Celica


Alm: Look who showed up!


Alm: Ram squad!


Gray: Ram Squad!


Kliff: I can’t even hear you and I know you two are chanting in unison


Gray: Shut Up Kliff.


Tobin: Ha!


Lukas: Settle down guys, let them be happy


Alm has changed Lukas’ name to Mom


Mom: @Reinhardt


Mom: We seemingly have adopted like 5 or 6 kids


Reinhardt: Make that 8


Reinhardt: I may or may not have adopted Anthony and Berkut


Mom: What the actual fuck


Faye: That’s GRAYt guys, you made Gray come home and Lukas swear bc of you


Celica: Mood


Celica: @Conrad


Celica: Make it 9. If I’m adopted, then Conrad is adopted.


Conrad: Celica no!


Alm: We’ve gotta better mom than Commander Mom


Reinhardt: istg Alm. I don’t want to be at her blade at my throat bc of you lil shits.


Alm: @RADiant Hero, Get your mom into this chat


RADiant Hero: My mom is dead you prick!


Alm: The other one.


Alm: Also how can I be a prick if my mom’s dead too?


Mom: *thinking emoji*


RADiant Hero has changed Mom’s name to Lukas


RADiant Hero: Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.


Anthony: @Titania


Anthony is now Offline


RADiant Hero: Shit.

Chapter Text

Richter: Imagine if someone were to hand you a box of all the things you lost throughout your life


Berkut: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back!


Anthony: Oh my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding it


Zelgius: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in decades!


Reinhardt: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!


Shade: Mental Stability my old friend!


Richter: @Shade @Zelgius @Reinhardt @Berkut @Anthony @Berkut Could you guys lighten up a little?


Lyon: I think I left my heart and soul in there, could I check it?


Soren: Actual happiness thank you!


Lukas: There’s those pesky emotions.


Elise: Guys. Stop


Elise: I’m still looking for my sour gummy worms could you be depressing and emotional somewhere else?

Chapter Text

Shade: Dude people in Muspell are so afraid of gluten. Like I could've killed Sutr with a bagel if I wanted to. 

Shade: Hell I could've bargained back Ylgr and Veronica back while eating a box of twinkies


Cecilia: @Reinhardt You are actually a disgusting excuse of a Mage and General and we think that you should be fed off to @Nino for something more useful. Also you have tiny hands

Reinhardt: I came here to have a good time and honestly I feel attacked.


Arvis: I'd walk through fire for Julia. Well not fire as it's super dangerous for you @Sigurd @Rinea . But like a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair

Berkut: Your ass is lucky I'm in the middle of the tempest. 


Alm: Vitamin C means Vitamin Yes.


Shade: I don't need anything on Black Friday. I just need to get in a fight to feel alive. 

Chapter Text

Shade has created Together We Noot 


Shade as added @Marth @Almond @Celica @Sigurd @Seliph @Leif @Roy @Lyn @Eliwood @Hector @Eirika @Ephraim @Ike @Michaiah @Chrom @Lucina


Shade has made Marth Admin


Shade: 3 houses is coming soon


Shade: So here's a chat to get everyone acquainted to the new lords when they release.


Chrom: @Shade Where are the Fates lords and the Askr Trio


Shade: We don't need them. Plus Fates doesn't have lords. It has mary sues. 


Chrom changed his name to Google Chrom


Ike has changed his name to RADiant Hero


Hector has changed his name to #Rektor


Hector has changed the chat name to #FuckFates






#Rektor: Fuk u eli


Marth: Everyone settle down. I'm sure the main chat is just as hectic as this one. 


Shade: I leave the chat to you marth.


Chapter Text

Ike has created Smashing of The Bros


Ike has invited Marth,Roy,Robin (M), Reflet, Lucina, Chrom, Corn (M) Corn (F),Richter Belmont, Pit Icarus and Daisy of Sarasa to the chat!


Robin (M): Wait how is Pit in this chat if he can't read


Pit: Text to speech.


Pit: Nino has something similar but it has ur guys voices for everyone's messages. 


Roy: Makes a lot of sense


Ike: Shit forgot 3 people


Ike has added Zelgius, Tiki and Lyn to the chat!


Ike: Now everyone's here. 


Zelgius: Why Ike


Zelgius: Why

Chapter Text

Jakob: @Felicia How do you fuck up rice?


Flora: @Felicia And how do you fuck up so badly it comes out in one cylindrical mess?


Felicia: I'm bad at everything


Shade: Mood 


Valter has sent Tounge.vid


Lucius: @Valter you know church is free right?


Lyon: And so is death what's your point Lu?


Anthony: If everyone assumes guys with long hair are gay and girls with short hair are lesbians then that means all bald men are secretly eagles.

Elise: I knew something was up with Hans. 


Shade: If blood is thicker than water, and syrup is thicker than blood

Shade: Holy shit Pancakes are more important than people

Sharena: Shade have you been in the cleaning supplies again?

Reinhardt: nah, she's prolly secretly a canadian. 


Reinhardt: Carpe Diem means seize the day

Reinhardt: Carpe Noctem means seize the night

Reinhardt: Carpe Natem means seize dat ass

Olwen: @Reinhardt this is why at 26 you still haven't lost your virginity.

Berkut: Based on last night, I'm sure that's not the only thing he lost. 

Reinhardt: I lost Mario Kart ;-;

Richter: For y'all who says Reinhardt is a shitty parent

Richter: Just remember Simba was raised by a gay warthog fucker and a gay meerkat lookin ass and he's the king of fucking africa now

*In a private chat with Alfonse and Anna*

Alfonse: This whole chatroom idea was a fucking mistake. 

Anna: Can't believe Shade banned us.



Chapter Text

Shade: @Lyn


Shade: Sit on my face UwU




Berkut: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Niles:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Reinhardt: *( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) INTENSIFIES*


Florina: It's not what you guys think. We're watching Korra together! (^-^)/✿

Chapter Text

Mist has started a new chat


Mist has renamed the chat Greil's Memeceraries


Mist has added Ike, Greil, Titania, Soren, Oscar, Mia and Zelgius to the chat!


Ike has changed his name to RADiant Hero


Zelgius has changed his name to Burger King


Mist: I'm gay. 


Soren: Congrats. 


RADiant Hero: Is it for Jill?


RADiant Hero: Because if it isn't, I owe Haar 20 gold


Mist: You know the green haired dancer girl?


Soren: The one who hangs out with Thundercock's sister?


Burger King: His name is Reinhardt Soren. 


Burger King: You know damn well he could and will kill you if someone invited him to this chat. 


Mist: This is why I made it private so Anthony cant ruin it.


Mia: Oh! Lene?


Mist: Yeah... I'm not sure how I was gonna break it to you guys. 


RADiant Hero: Hold on for a second, lemme add the rest of the Radiance Bros


RADiant Hero has added Elincia, Reyson, Leanne, Michaiah, Nephenee, Sanaki, Naialah, Tibarn and Naesala to the chat!


RADiant Hero: My sister's gay. You heard it here folks


Tibarn: Did you people invite Oliver here?


Mist: No. I have him blocked for the time he sent me...


Mist: Well he called it a brave sword but it looked more like...


Mist: Not much of a weapon


Titania is offline


Burger King: Wait she was here the whole time?


Michaiah: Who wants to watch this shit go down?


Naesala: Whoever added Leanne to the chat and forgot she can't read Tellius. 


Reyson: She's been picking up on Shade's lingo. Actually doing a lot better on it


Leanne: YEET


RADiant Hero: Oof. 


Chapter Text

Kagero:  She was poetry but he couldn't read


RADiant Hero: His name was Jared he was nineteen


Anthony: When his parents built a very strange machine


Arvis: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen


Hector: AAY Macaerena


Shade: What the actual fuck did this chat devolve into. 

Chapter Text

Shade: Tag your god tier


Shade: I'm Knight of Heart


Lyon: Mage of Void


Marth: Lord of Hope


Alm: idek @Celica Help


Celica: IDK either!


Seliph: Heir of Light! 


RADiant Hero: Rouge of Blood


Lucina: Knight of Time


Shade: Luci... That belongs to an actual character


Lucina: I know


Reinhardt: Mage of Mind


Raquesis: Sylph of Light


Tiki: Sylph of Heart


Hector: Lord of Rage


Lyn: Rouge of Time


Tru Dad: Muse of Heart


Lucius: All I know is the light aspect. Possibly Maid


Lon'qu: Rouge of Mind


Shade: Am i like the only knight? 


Shade: That isn't canon? 


Julia: Mage of Space


Shade: I'll take that as a yes.


RADiant Hero: @Zelgius is a Knight of Hope


RADiant Hero: He killed my dad. 


Berkut: Prince of Rage


Lukas: Page of Blood


Shade: No wonder, you have to put all the blood back into rein


Anthony: Seer of Life!

Chapter Text

Sharena: So me and Shade are watching Digimon as she calls it


Sharena: My god one of the characters is a fucking mood.


Anthony: Who? 


Shade: Kari maybe? 


Sharena: Nah. 


Sharena: Ken. 


Sharena: He's just the mood of the century. Always being in your more famous brother's shadow, and when you do get something interesting they drag you away from it.


Sharena: Of course I wouldn't wish for Alfonse to be hit by a car or disappear...


Shade has changed Sharena's name to Askr Emperess


Shade: Ur welcome


Shade: Wait who'd be Wormmon then?


Anthony: Probably me.


Anthony: Don't worry, I'm used to being whipped by people.


Anthony: Mainly Anankos


Askr Emperess has changed Anthony's name to Anthonymon


Reinhardt: I knew I was referred to as Davis for a while


Reinhardt: But jesus...


Berkut: And people still think I'm his and Shade's child.


Berkut: Even though he's a fictional character from her world so no way in ass that could happen.


Shade: My god I realized something


Shade: Kari has the same va as Olwen's alt.


Shade: Kari and Olwen both admire their older brothers


Shade: Tai is secretly Reinhardt confirmed. 


Reinhardt: Please stop. 

Chapter Text

Shade has added Idunn, Rutger, Thea, Sue and Lugh to the chat!


Rutger has changed his name to Critger


Critger: @Lon'qu


Critger: Why do you have the same title as me?


Lon'qu: More like are you the copy of me?


Shade has sent CritterMan.jpg


Shade: This is literally the exact same picture. 


Lyon: So is Lugh and Raigh mine and Nino's or is Jaffar the father? 


Jaffar: *knife emoji*


Shade: Jaffar, no. 


Shade: Go attack Valter. 


Shade: Or Oliver


Shade: Just not Lyon he's a sweetheart


Matthew: Or Leila for that matter!


Matthew: You fuckin edgy cunt


Shade: I think Matt just went Fe!Scottish for a minute

Chapter Text

Shade: Dude I just realized something


Shade: It's raining men and let the bodies hit the floor were about the same thing


Shade: But one was more optimistic and the other was pessemistic. 


Tru Dad: Shade


Tru Dad: It's 3 am go to sleep


Alm: Lasers were seen as a scientific breakthrough, now we use them to play with cats


Alm: Computers were seen as a technological advancement of the century, now we use them to look at cats


Alm: Therefore it's safe to assume that the hypothesis of science being made for cats is valid. 


Niles: Imagine having sex with a ghost and someone walks in and they see your asshole opening and closing for no reason and your moaning.


Lucius: Imagine going to church, praying to Naga and realizing there are innocent children in this chat?


Lucius has banned Niles from This is So Sad, Azura Sing Lost in Thoughts All Alone


Tru Dad: When did you get admin powers?


Lucius: Mod powers. Shade gave her main 8 mod powers. 


Valter: You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits


Lon'qu: The fuck did I just read?


Lon'qu: @Eirika @Ephraim @Lyon I am so sorry you have to deal with this man


Lon'qu has banned Valter from This is So Sad, Azura Sing Lost in Thoughts all Alone



Lon'qu: Omg Reinhardt has to delete so many comments when he wakes up to prevent Anthony from seeing them


Anthony: Too late, already screenshoted them.


Lon'qu: Shit


Lon'qu: @Shade @Reinhardt @Lukas


Lon'qu: The lil gremlin is out of control


Seliph: Pizza should have a poison in the sauce and the antidote in the thick crust part so we can kill off the people who don't eat the crust


Lon'qu: S E L I P H


Lon'qu: @Sigurd I know your awake fucking Dierdre


Arvis: Bold of you to assume that


Raquesis: She's in here with me and some of the other girls. We're finishing up a game of Bullshit and heading to bed.


Lon'qu: Then...


Lon'qu: Is Sigurd having gay sex with Arvis?


Lon'qu: Oh god. 


Lon'qu: @Shade




Finn: Edit, I just checked in on them, Arvis got stuck in the toilet bowl lid. 


Finn: Eldigan and Quan are laughing their asses off


Finn: This is the shit I have to deal with folks


Tiki: @Pit 


Tiki: Are Medusa's leg hairs tiny snakes?


Pit: Hold on


Pit: @Palutena


Pit: Is she even here


RADiant Hero: Hol on 


RADiant Hero has added PaluBAEa to the chat!


Palutena: Sup nerds. 


Pit: Are Medusa's leg hairs tiny snakes?


Palutena: Pit. It is 2 am. Go the fuck to sleep. 


Palutena: All of you. Sleep now. 


Google Chrom: Fitbits are Tamagotchis


Google Chrom: Except the Dumbass Creature you have to keep alive is yourself


Google Chrom: Why can't this be digimon?


Henry: Cannibalism can solve both overpopulation and the world hunger epidemic


Lyon: How long does it take for Grave Robbing to become Archeology


Marth: Based on genital structure, men should be wearing the skirts and women the pants










Gordin: 5 POINTS!




Anthony is offline

Titania is offline

Marth is offline

RADiant Hero is offline

Richter is offline

Caeda is offline

Gordin is offline

Alm is offline

Seliph is offline

Lon'qu is offline

Lyon is offline

Henry is offline

Google Chrom is offline

PaluBAEa is offline

Tiki is offline

Finn is offline

Arvis is offline

Sigurd is offline

Raquesis is offline

Tru Dad is offline


Shade: Hello Darkness my old friend. 

Chapter Text

Arvis: I'm making fuckin mac and cheese.


Alm: Weren't you banned from kitchen duty?


Fjorm has sent selfie lol.jpg


Fjorm: Not with me in the kitchen (^_^)~*


Seliph: Two bowls please, both extra cheesy!


Julia: You know how to make mine dad.


Julius: Wait, am I still in this family even if I'm from another timeline?


Dierdre: Yes


Dierdre: @Sigurd


Dierdre: We need the dad


Shade: Sorry to inturrupt but can someone grill me a cheese?


Shade: I have lost my voice and my head feels like f2p anuses when Reinhardt shoves his hand so far up their asses he can make people into muppets.


Arvis: @Reinhardt @Ishtar @Olwen 


Arvis: Pls explain


Reinhardt: It's a joke. Please don't think I can do that. You know my sleeves are just really big and I don't do that thing


Reinhardt: Also 3 bowls of mac and cheese please. 1 with cayanne please


Berkut: Make that 2 more. Anthony wants some and I'm wanting to try this food



Chapter Text

Marth: @Shade I forgot to add some of my friends from smash. Is it ok if I add them?


Shade: Sure as long as they don't cause trouble. I don't need that stuff rn


Marth has added Zeldamn, Really Shulking It, Arm Pit, Lasagaroar, Big Mac and T̴̪͇͙͉̖͈̲̯̻̤̲̬̀̓͋̒́͗ͅḨ̴̖̮͇̞͓̳͖̱̿́͝E̴̜͑̈́̍̀̂̌̀̎̽̍̓̉̈́̎̆ ̶̘̫͇̣̲̠̮̳͙̓͆̇̊́̈́̒̒B̵̛͈̻̺͇̥͖̯̊͋̃̎̆̉̋̅̇̓̋͊͝͝Ą̸̙̝̲̬̘͇͈̤̺̪͙͉̽͌̔̏̌́̚͘͘͜B̶̨̪̩͔̤̻̀̌͒̈́̈Y̷̡̯̭̺̣̰̟̲͐͌̉̈̈͒͑̍ to the chat!


Samus: Who's Lasagaroar


Marth: Incineroar. I'd feel bad if I didn't include one furball. 


Marth: Normally it's Pikachu but Pikachu can't type. 


Samus: But Pit and Nino are here????


Shulk: It's good not to question things like this. 


Shulk: @Lucina TIME BROS


Lucina: TIME BROS!


Dark Pit: Alright, where's that fucking faker with my voice. 


Shade: N O  I  A M  N O T  D E A L I N G  W I T H  T H I S


Shade is now idle


Richter: Now look at what you've done, you've scared Shade! 


Anthony: She's not scared, just 500% done with life


Samus: Mood. 


Zelda: Is Incineroar lurking or...? 


Zelda: Because he has like no reason for a chatroom


Marth: I added him. 


Daisy: So is this like a smash/fire emblem reunion?


RADiant Hero: No it isn't. We just get bored a lot


Zelda has added Peachy~ to the chat!


Zelda: Meme time. 


Lon'qu: Not right now. I have the powers of moderators and Jojo on my side!


Anthony: Dude


Anthony: U didn't even meme it right. 


Reinhardt: As long as we don't add the dads of smash to this chat nothing will collapse on itself. 


Reinhardt: The dad jokes shall be contained. 


Arvis: Dude, there's more than enough dads here. Why would we need more dads?


Reinhardt: I didn't think this through did I?

Chapter Text

Google Chrom has added Bowser to the chat!


Google Chrom: So what do you call a nosy pepper?


Robin (M): An abomination?


Shade: Nah that's me. 


Google Chrom: Jalepeno Buisness!


Arvis: What did one eye say to the other eye?


Julia: pls no


Arvis: Between you and me, something smells!


Corn (F): What concert cost 45 cents?


Berkut: A shitty one


Corn (F): 50 cent featuring Nickleback! 


Shade: How do you fit 5 Snorlaxes and 3 Wailords onto a bus?


Reinhardt: You don't 


Shade: Nah, ya just gotta POKEMON! 


Reinhardt is offline


Google Chrom: Did ya hear about the Italian Chef who died?


Google Chrom: He pasta way


Anthony has logged off


Julia: Now look at what you've done. 


Arvis: I guess he just ran out of thyme. 


Julia has logged off


Tru Dad: Here today, gone Tomato


Leo: Just no


Leo has logged off


Bartre: His wife's still in shock, I guess cheeses still not over it


Richter has logged off


Pit has logged off


Tiki has logged off


RADiant Hero has logged off


Lon'qu has logged off


Raquesis has logged off


Lukas has logged off


Boey has logged off


Lucius has logged off


Seliph: I guess they never sausage a tragedy coming!


Hector: Ashes to Ashes, Crust to Crust


Sigurd: There's just not mushroom in this world for chefs these days


Bowser: We cannoli do so much for them


Quan: Currently sending olive the prayers to the family


Greil: I guess he'll become a pizza history


Titania: I'm sorry but


Titania has logged off



Shade: What do you call a pencil without lead?


Shade: Pointless! 


Google Chrom: Dude, my wedding was so great even the cake was in tiers!


Frederick Kruger: No it wasn't. 


Seliph: What did the shy rock wish for?


Seliph: That they were a little boulder! 


Lissa: Seliph, please stop enabling them. 




Anthony is online



Anthony: Come on guys, people are drinking on these jokes, we really need to raise the bar! 


Lyn: What was with the screaming from Corrin's room?


Shade: I'll be here.... ALL THE FUCKING TIME! 




Google Chrom: You all were blessings.


Takumi: L E A V E


Chapter Text

Shade: @Reinhardt


Shade: I need the soup of the Ramen




Shade: >:-|


Shade: @Lucius


Shade: Is there anymore medicine I can take so I don't feel like I was cursed with the 9 day curse?


Lucius: Actually getting some sleep and not texting me.

Shade: @Berkut


Shade: Grill me a cheese


Berkut: Can't. Stuck dealing with uprisers in Muspell rn. 


Shade: @Raquesis


Shade: Does releasing sexual frustrations help cure a head cold? Asking for a friend


Raquesis: NO! >:0 GO TO SLEEP! 


Shade: @Lyon


Shade: I have coughed up the plague. I need the ades of power


Lyon: I don't know what your talking about but I'll send Henry to collect the plague sample so we can figure out what went wrong


Shade: @Peri Can you kill me already? I am ready for death


Peri: I am coming up with the soup! 


Nino: And I have the tissues! 


Shade: @Sharena


Shade: Let Soren, Innes, the morgans and Arvis know I am putting tactics to them today. I cannot deal with anything


Sharena: Who's on Anthony watch then? 


Shade: I'm sure he can't cause too much trouble right?


Sharena: He changed the wifi password to penis because Michaiah offered him $5 and a bag of gummy worms.


Shade: Pass the child off to someone who won't cause him harm


Shade: Like Hector. 


Chapter Text

Reinhardt has created a new chat


Reinhardt has renamed the chat to Everyone is Gay!


Reinhardt has added Leon, Mist, Lene,Lukas, Leo, Hrid, Alm, Seliph, Faye, Olwen, Florina, Lyn, Lucius, Raven, Lyon, Knoll, Ephraim, Innes, and Ike to the chat!


Ike has changed his name to RADiant Hero


Innes: Why is there a straight in this chat?


Reinhardt: He's amBIguous. 


RADiant Hero: I like guys sometimes, sometimes I like girls, other times I just like meat. 


Mist: Brother this is my wonderful girlfriend. 


Lene: ^_^ /


Innes: Not the straight I was going for


Lukas: I'm ace aro Innes. I thought we were over this. 


Innes: But you and


Lukas: He's pan. 


Lukas: Also fuck off your having an orgy with Lyon, Knoll and Ephraim. 


Ephraim: Sorry. Polyamory!


Leon: Shit wait if that counts then I need to add Zeke/Camus


Leon has added Camus, Nyna and Tatiana to the chat!


Leon has changed his name to zegayLorde


Camus: Gay chat? Why am I here?


Reinhardt: Everyone is gay. You too. I consider Polys to be gay.


zegayLorde: *cries in gay*


Seliph: Fyi I think I'm Solarian (aka he/him and they/them)


Reinhardt: Can i still call you Seli on the they/them days?


Seliph: Absolutely


Knoll: Glad to see I'm not the only one struggling with identity


Lene: Pardon me for asking but why?


Lyon: We're trying to help him transition better but Grado is better at fucking up than medicines. 


Reinhardt: @Knoll @Lyon Arvis is looking over my shoulder and he's offering to help you transition. 


Reinhardt: Also he's offering to help people make blankets of their flags. 


RADiant: Are bis valid in this chat


Reinhardt: It's always bi appreciation in this house


RADiant Hero: @Richter


RADiant Hero: He's got a gf who went batshit and is now fucking a bat. 


Richter: Ok 1, fuk u


Richter: 2 I'm not a furry for fucking Alucard


Richter: So piss off with that. 


Lyon: So no one is creeped about the whole Knoll/Me/Ephraim/Innes thing?


Camus: Nah dude. We gucci w that


Lyn: Bi squad up! 


Tatiana: Wait is Lucius trans as well?


Lucius: No I am not. Just really gay



Chapter Text

Veronica has added Bruno to the chat!


Veronica: My brother's gonna be summonable for the 2019 bun banner


Bruno: Fuck off. I did not consent to this.


Alfonse: At least we match Zac. 


Shade: Wait @Bruno do we call you Bruno or Zacharias? I just don't wanna make you uncomfortable


Bruno: Either or. I don't give a shit


Loki: Am I the only one who is super unnerved by this?


Loki: Especially since Sutr and Hel won't let me be in my more comfortable form


Loki: Doesn't help that my female form is the summonable one


Loki: Now I have to wear a bunny suit that exposes my cleavage


Sharena: Wait your trans?


Shade: Wait Alfonse's not banned from this chat?


Loki: Yeah. I'm trying to go FtM but these fuckin devs won't let me


Loki: FFS you have camoola for a reason


Loki: Let me transition in peace dammit. 


Loki: I like the aesthetic colors of the fem!me but


Loki: I don't like the tiddies


Shade: @Lucina would like to have those tiddies


Lucina: SHADE 


Loki: So none of you have a problem?


Shade: Nah. 


Shade: Reinhardt's pan


Shade: Fernand is demi


Shade: Lukas is ace/aro


Shade: And I'm fuckin trash ur point?

Chapter Text

Shade: Loki's spring form makes me uncomfortable


Shade: It's this close to showing her clit






Loki: Aesthetic? Cool. Bow? Cool. 


Loki: Boobs and almost showing clit?


Loki: Not cool


Loki: At least I can sympathize with Lucina and Cordelia now



Chapter Text

Reinhardt: So...


Reinhardt: @Seliph is Solarian/probably gay


Reinhardt: @Knoll is Trans/Gay


Reinhardt: @Loki is Trans


Reinhardt: @Mist, @Lene @Florina are Lesbians


Reinhardt: @Lukas is Asexual/Aromantic


Reinhardt: @Fernand is Demisexual


Reinhardt: I'm Pan


Reinhardt: @Lyn @RADiant Hero are bi


Reinhardt: @Ephraim is polyamoric and gay


Reinhardt: @Leon is hella gay


Reinhardt: @Innes and @Raven won't admit they're gay


Reinhardt: And @Lucius is gay. 


Reinhardt: Did I miss anyone?


Olwen: Reinhardt you dumbfuck


Olwen: I'M BI


Olwen: @Faye is Bi @Leo @Hrid are gay 


Alm: I'm probably queer, I haven't figured it out yet


Alm: @Richter is Bi @Lyon is probably gay 


Anthony: And I'm here for some reason. Who added me? 


Julia: Whoops wrong chat I invited you to. Also #bisquad 

Chapter Text

Leo: True story from Nohr's bullshit of rulers


Leo: Someone accused Iago and Hans of raping a girl


Leo: So they got the lawyer and he's like "Just normal business clothes"


Leo: Fuckers showed up to court naked and Hans had a whip


Leo: Immediately convicted but some how we still keep the fuckers because my dad is a fucking pile of shit for brains who doesn't take rape seriously.


Arvis: Then we overthrow the Nohrians



Chapter Text

Michiah has added Yune to This is So Sad, Azura Sing Lost In Thoughts All Alone


Shade: Since when can birbs type


Naesala: ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ


Yune: I am no ordinary birb


Yune: I am goddess birb


RADiant Hero: More like Loli Goddess


Yune: Bite my ass you subhuman fucker


Zelgius: shit


Michiah: Why can't we have nice things in the main chat?


Yune: Someone tell the gremlin to stop throwing bread at me.


RADiant Hero: Which gremlin?


Yune: The one who looks like a feral child. 


RADiant Hero: Oh


RADiant Hero: @Anthony


RADiant Hero: Throw baguettes at her. They'll feed her longer


Michiah: I K E

Chapter Text

Shade: Yune came home on the free summon


Yune: I guess you can call it


Yune: God Bless


Shade: Ayyye


Yune: Ayye


RADiant Hero: Shut the fuck up I'm trying to sleep!

Chapter Text

Reinhardt: @Everyone


Reinhardt: There is only one thing worse than being killed


Reinhardt: Boom


Reinhardt: Anthony getting killed


Xander: So your saying Anthony is the problem? I knew we should've killed the little shit




Shade: @Chrom @Robin (M) @Frederick


Shade: Three bros chillin in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cuz their not gay

Marth: @Shade is that a police here?


Shade: Taco Bell has Fresha Voca Do and I've never felt more alive 


Hector: Dammit Kid, this thing buzzed so loud I almost dropped my fuckin croissant

Anna: It's like the inn gives you bottled water to pay for and it's like there's free fuckin water in the tap you asshole



Reinhardt: @Yune @Every Green Unit FUCK OFF 

Frederick: Why aren't the dishes in alphabetical order?

Shade: The fuk does that even mean?


Leon: @everyone Move I'm gay. I've got rights to be the first 5*+10

Arvis: My hair is red

Arvis: Sigurd's is blue

Arvis: Why did you leave me @Azel

Arvis: What did I do? 

Henry: I have taught a bunch of animatronic snowmen how to chant Hail Grima

Henry: Today is a good day


Ryoma: So both Corrins spilt an entire gallon's worth of Listerine on themselves

Anthony: And that is my problem how???? 

Alfonse: So we're passing notes during the war meetings huh?

Alfonse: @Shade read what you've been passing or I'm sending you to deal with Niles' bullshit

Shade: Why's @Gustav's and @Alfonse's dicks hanging on the floor?

Alfonse: What the actual fuck

Alfonse: Why the fuck do I hear talking during the war meetings?

Shade: U got ears u dumb fuck

Anthony: @Lukas @Sigurd @Arvis @Quan @Eldigan @Finn @Eliwood @Hector @Bartre @Canas @Dorcas @Seth @Greil @Chrom @Frederick @Lon'qu @Xander @Ryoma @Reinhardt 

Anthony: Daddy?


Alm: He can't help he has no father figure in his life!

Zelgius: Pass the popcorn

Michiah: This is a funeral



Fernand: @Arvis' mac and cheese sounds like my wet dream of a threesome involving me Mathilda and Clive

Rinea: @Berkut and this is the man you chose for your vassal?

Wrys: I fear I am the only normal one left in this chat room














Chapter Text

Shade: @Feh Your doing amazing sweetie but we've gotta find better updates


Shade: Pair Up just made Reinhardt nuking things much easier


Shade: And no one's gonna care about Aether Resort or Allegiance battles. We want orbs. 


Shade: Also the fuck is up with demoting people I get sick of as 4* into 3*, they'll be more common.


Ike: And the 5* from before Frozen 2 won't be summonable


Ike: The fuck. I want to fuck people's rates up


Lyn: Dude Same


Julia: Already pulled it on Shade


Azura: Did it to Shade numerous times


Anthony: And i'm still not summonable ;-;


Anthony: I just want snuggles from more summoners

Chapter Text

Private Chat (Sigurd+Seliph)

Seliph: Dad... I need advice


Seliph: See, I'm kind of having one of those they/them days, and Leif kept saying that nonbinary people are a phase and that I need to grow out of it since I'm the future of Judgral...


Seliph: What do I do


Sigurd: eye emoji gun emoji


Sigurd: Quan's in so much trouble


Private Chat (Sigurd+Quan)

Sigurd has sent screenshot.1.jpg


Sigurd: Mind explaining this? 


Sigurd: I won't hesitate eye emoji gun emoji


Quan: The fuck?

Private Chat (Quan, Ethlyn and Finn)

Quan has sent screenshot.1.3.jpg


Quan: The fuck is this? 


Quan: @Finn what was Lief taught


Quan: I'm holding you responsible since I got stabbed


Finn: I told him everyone is a queen sir!


Ethlyn: Dude you should just see the chat Lief is in right now. He's not going to need a colostomy bag by the time Reinhardt's done with him...

Private Chat (Reinhardt, Lukas, Boey, Lucius, Alm and Leif)

Reinhardt: @Leif What did we tell you about being NBphobic?


Reinhardt: And homophobic for that matter?


Leif: Shut up you useless pan pizza. Isn't that just being bi, which is also just being gay?


Lukas: I sense a disturbance in the force.




Reinhardt: What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Friegian Army, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Loptyrians along with your home country, and I have over 9000 confirmed kills. I am trained in magical warfare and I’m the top mage knight in the entire Friege Army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to Seliph about nonbinary people not being valid? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting the Gelben Ritter across the rift and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Order of Heroes and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kid.




Lucius: I'm a healer but. ^-^_/




Boey: T̶̡̜̼͉̺̭͚̩̫̫̦̱̟͗̿̔̌͆͗̑͊̈́ͅH̵̡͈͎̼̠͚̗͚͓̣͜Õ̴̜̜̮͍̣̲̥̊͌͂̇̾͊͘T̸̙͉͍͇̭̦̜̥̼͌

Chapter Text

RADiant Hero has added HakunaMatata, Nottafurfag, Catwoman, Mordecai and I'm Too Old for this Shit to the chat!


RADiant Hero: Mist's gay Haar


Haar: For?


RADiant Hero: This girl named Lene. 


Mist: OwO 


Lethe: What's the point of this? 


Ranulf: Does it look like I know? 


Caineghis has changed his name to Simba


Ranulf: At least I don't have to explain this to his royal furry king


Shade: Ike, I just realized we need an update to the text to speech mod.


RADiant Hero: Y


Shade: Mordecai can't read. I'm pretty sure he only understands ancient tounge. 


Haar: Why does this thing keep waking me up?


Haar: And it's not the chat. 


Haar: It's some tiny gremlin. 


RADiant Hero: What does it look like?


Haar has sent getthislittleshitoffofmebeforeikillhim.png


RADiant Hero: That's Anthony. He won't do much harm. He's probably trying to scout you out. He always does it to the new heroes


Haar: But he's interrupting my nap.


Shade: According to Lene you got a full 45 minutes on the battlefield and only woke up when Lucius almost had to knock you conscious to not die


Haar: Hell yeah! Nothing in my life matters! 


Mist: And here we see a Gen Z stuck in a Millenial's body. 

Chapter Text

Ranulf: @RADiant Hero


Ranulf: Pls help


Ranulf: There's a kid who won't stop playing with my ears and tail.


RADiant Hero: That's Anthony


RADiant Hero: He's the least of your worries considering Alm's, Celica's and Rinea's cat obsession.


Oscar: So I finally got Anthony to eat his vegetables without getting threatened by a lobster


Sakura: But Ryoma wants nothing to do with him.


Berkut: I'm sorry for being an ancestor to that Walmart. Anyways how did you get him to eat his vegetables?


Oscar: The fact you can put cheese on anything. 


Berkut: Ok so why is Shade smothered in cheese sauce.


Shade: Pretzel Pizza is a fail so i did the next best thing ;-;


Camilla: Who ate all of the cookies? 


Anthony: Kellam


Camilla: I didn't see him in the kitchen


Anthony: That's the joke. No one ever sees him. 


Lukas: Whoops. 

Lucius: So I asked Anthony what his favorite part of the book is.


Lucius: He said the part when Gollum fell into the lava with the ring


Lucius: Never trusting Azama with his religious teachings again

Anthony: I accidentally spilled ice cream on Baby Lucina and long story short Chrom saw me lick the baby


Anthony: @Reinhardt help pls

Anthony: Mia isn't the fastest hero


Anthony: That would be Reinhardt when he hears that I've gotten myself into more trouble than I should for a 13 yr old.

Titania: We are no longer having glitter in the order


Titania: Anthony keeps spreading it to places there shouldn't be glitter

Anthony: The can opener is broken. Incineroar keeps wanting tuna


Shade: Then it's a Can't opener?

Berkut: So Alm dropped a chicken nugget on the floor, offered it to Anthony


Berkut: He said no, Alm then offered it to Ike


Berkut: Then Shade ran off of it like she stole the fucking hope diamond. 

Hector: @Anthony we told you to stay in bed at these hours. Quit spookin us!


Anthony: But I keep seeing scary things! 


Hector: Scarier than a pissed off me?

Anthony: Yes! Valter and Oliver having s-e-x! 


Hector: OH SHIT

Alfonse: Why is Anthony's bed in my room?


Alfonse: And why does he have a race car bed?


Shade: Temporary moving arrangements. He keeps seeing Valter and Oliver buttfucking. It's why he kept getting out of bed. 

Shade: Anthony called Ranch "Salad Frosting" on accident and now I can't stop thinking about it. 

Shade: Ok Lucius wanted it quiet so he could say grace


Shade: And Anthony starts fucking howling like a dog, and then gets Naiahlah in on it. 


Shade: Folks, we either have an immortal or he worships a different god than us. 

Shade: Nino wants to be a sage to help people like Lloyd and Linus did


Shade: Anthony just wants to hide under couch cushions and poke people with needles


Shade: Welcome to Askr!












Chapter Text

Calliope: Wait


Calliope: Who changed the names?


Calliope: And why can't we change them back?


Equius Zahhak: D-> and what's up with this ST00PID typing quirk


Kanaya Maryam: So Let's Figure Out Who's Who.


Kanaya Maryam: This is Lukas


Karkat Vantas: BERKUT 




Calliope: Anthony ^-^


Andrew Hussie: Shade


Andrew Hussie: Ok what the actual fuck


Damara Megido: マース


Damara Megido: 誰もが実際にこれを読むことができるのを待つか、これはほんの少し日本語に翻訳されていますか。


Damara Megido: そうでなければ、葉はこの惑星に住むに値しないクソ女です


John Egbert: Marth no!


John Egbert: Also this is Seliph


Equius Zahhak: D--> Reinhardt


Aradia Megido: eir


Dave Strider: lucina


Bro: I don't think for the sake of Eir's life I should reveal myself


Bro: But @Lord English is Lyon







Andrew Hussie: So I'm guessing this'll happen when 6/12 rolls around? 


Chapter Text

Matthew has added Joker to the chat!


Jakob: Oh hell no. 


Matthew: So kid, do you have a name or do we just call ya Joker


Joker: Well... The most common name the games have me under is Ren Amamiya but I also go under Akira Kurusu. 


Shade: Smash newb?


Shade: Good luck kid. This is the game where everyone dies. 


???: Doesn't everybody?


Shade: @Eir your weird ass friend's here. 


Eir: That's not mine though... Mine was Haar...


Shade: So what the fuck. 

Chapter Text



Berkut: Someone translate that




Berkut: And that


???: *earrape screeching*


Berkut: Not that


Ike: Genny, Lukas and Felicia got alts for the new banner. Also if played correctly, Lukas get's like +20 defense on foe turns.