Chapter 1: Unfortunate Revelations
“He’s a complete asshole.” A disembodied voice resonated through the room, full of completely shocked students. Smoke slowly clearing in the air as the students stared at the door which was recently slammed shut, so hard that it still echoes through their ears.
It happened during the end of the day, tired students packing their bags and chatting about their plans once arriving back at the dorms for the rest of the evening. Sun casting a golden hue over the individuals, who all reveling in the fact that the day was approaching an end and heads would meet pillows.
The dekusquad was chattering away about studying in the common room later, and other smaller clicks of students talked in tired voices. When the from the bakusquad circled the desk of the “Beast of 1-A”, as dubbed by Tokoyami. Suddenly, a loud explosion and Kiminari was sent flying into the wall in the front of the room. Unceremoniously, slamming into it with a loud yelp.
A Gravelly voice, filled with undeniable rage yelled in his direction, “FUCK YOU! YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT!” The class was already well acquainted with these events and can relatively ignore these outbursts. But something about this time… Just. Felt. Different. The yelling seemed to stop after the short outburst, which was rather unusual. Bakugou usually had much more to yell out. As daggers were glared meet the class who looked on with various emotions, shock, annoyance, frustration, and general distaste. The blood-red eyes stared back in malice, but for the first time in a long time, those eyes looked cold. Lacking the unadulterated rage that usually filled them. At least, Izuku noticed, to everyone else it could have been the usual glare.
To Deku, it felt hauntingly familiar. Bakugou quickly stomped off and threw the door open and slammed it with a might that shook the walls. Echoing the loud bang through the room.
“He’s a complete asshole.” -
“Why did he explode this time?” Jirou practically sighed out. Looking towards the bakusquad. Hagakure was already helping Kiminari up, who looked in a mix of shock and horrified, he whined out, “I was only teasing him a little bit…” Pausing to look around at the faces listening, he seemed to be composing himself. “I just said, that maybe the reason he has a stick up his ass was because he wasn’t loved at home. But I was only joking, I said it teasingly!” Confusion seemed to sweep through the room, maybe, Kiminari struck a nerve. “I really didn’t mean it!” He yelled out apologetically. The room knew better than to think that Kiminari meant to actually hurt Bakugou, or anyone ever. “It’s alright Kimi. You were just teasing him like you usually do.” Mina said trying to calm down the electric boy. Nods and sounds of agreement followed. Sero placing his hand on his uninjured shoulder in understanding, patting it softly.
Midoriya sighed, the room turned their attention to him, knowing to listen intently to his words, from experience. He couldn’t seem to find the right words first as his eyebrows and nose scrunched a bit in contemplation. Seeming to have found the words, he turned back to the task of packing the rest of his things on his desk into his bag, facing away from rest of the class, “I’ve known Kaachan for a long time… you might not be all that wrong.” He said in a low voice as if he was sharing a dark secret with them, and to be fair it kinda was. He pulled his backpack over his shoulders and let out a dry chuckle, hands shaking on the straps. Plastering a painfully fake smile on his face he spoke once more before fleeing, “Though!-” A little panic carried through his voice. “I-I really don't know! S-so, It's not like I could really say much-” Catching himself from rambling he awkwardly laughed and he started to leave.
The room was left in utter silence after he hurried away.
Chapter 2: Choking On Memories
Uraraka and Todoroki joined him on the couch, as he silently studied. Iida was probably off scolding other students for running or himself at the track running. He tried to ignore how heavy the air was, other students that were wondering around cast a few glances at him from time to time. The common room was extremely quiet except for soft voices here and there. It made him regret opening his mouth earlier. Deeply.
Uraraka, tried to start up a conversation, but he could follow along and Todoroki offered a few shrugs or short answers here and there to fill in the absence of Deku’s lack of responses. But he continued to try to focus on what she was saying, his mind still wondered.
Kacchan came to school late, bags under his eyes looked deep, but that wasn’t what Deku started at. That wasn't what caught his attention. It wasn’t the split lip, the black eye, and the handprint shape bruised on the back of his neck.
Deku should have felt more worried, he felt the nagging at the back of his mind, he felt the questions on the tip of his tongue. ‘What happened?’
It echoed for a second before blood-ruby eyes meet his, they were cold. So cold. That was only, the only thing that was new, the reason his mind was thrown into a dark mess of thoughts. The strange bruises, they eyebags, he glances at the oddly thin waist, those things, those things were normal. They seemed to be just a part of Kacchan, as it’s always been. The nagging of his own mind was silenced as Kacchan grimace deepened, “Oi! Deku! Fuck you staring at?!” Quickly striding over, with the intent of harm.
He shouldn’t have done it. It screams at him from time to time.
But for the millionth time, he turned a blind eye.
“Deku?-Dekuuu~...Deku!”, the voice said bringing him back. He Jumped, looking towards the voice. Uraraka looked at him with concern leaning over the coffee table from the couch across, waving her hand in front of his eyes. “You okay?” Her worried voice made the guilt turn in his stomach, he shouldn’t have ignored his friend. “Y-yes! I just got lost in thought for a moment, s-sorry..” He seemed to manage to get out. Todoroki at his side was leaning towards him eyebrow slightly raised in concern. Uraraka seemed to let out a sigh, “Was it about Bakugou?” She asked carefully. The named seemed to silence the room as glances from the classmates in the room fell on them. He already said too much, right? Maybe he’d been choking on these memories for too long, because he sighed out a soft, “No, it was something else”. He wants to tell them about the bruises, he wants to tell them of that night. About everything, all of it. The breath just leaves him, he hears a voice begging to him. A broken voice that, he wouldn't be able to recognize if he wasn’t looking at its owner.
“I’m fine...Please...just leave, Izuku”
Regret, anger, frustration all began to swell into his chest. Kacchan may have tormented him, but Deku abandoned him. He is as guilty as Kacchan for their past, he wasn’t blameless. He hoped the what happened with the sludge monster and kidnapping made up for it. Then the overwhelming feeling of guilt. “I’m fine,” he smiles softly, even if no one buys it they don’t press any further.
They’re even now, right?
I’m sorry, I wasn’t brave enough back then Kacchan.
Chapter 3: Softly, without noticing, cracking ever so slightly
The flashback is heavily inspired by https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386907/chapters/40920974, highly recomend this authors work.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The four kids walked through the woods, marching in a line, two of the kids were some random tagalongs that followed him around, and long since forgotten their names. Midoriya and Katsuki were the other two, he grinned widely as he leads the pack down the path marching down a path that leads away from the park and toward the river.
"C'mon Deku! Stop slowing us down!" The blonde yelled over his shoulder and made the green haired boy jump. "I won't Kacchan, don't worry!"
Katsuki scoffed and rolled his eyes. "As if I'd worry about you!" He laughed and the two others joined in. But something, as the Deku bit his lip pouting, slightly pinched his heart. He felt the need to say sorry. He didn’t quite understand that feeling, so he quickly pushed it away.
They were having fun, despite the feeling he had earlier and the teasing. They were almost completely getting along. He took in the light and nature around. Chirps of birds and the chatter of summer cicadas. He lead them towards the shallow river, and then he fell. Despite it being a little bit of a fall, he felt okay. This kind of pain was nothing, it hurt for just a moment and then he would be fine. His knees were scraped and the palm of his hands also seemed a bit roughed up but this was nothing. So, trying to feign from the embarrassment he tried to laugh it off.
"Are you okay, Kacchan?" He looked up and saw a small Izuku offering his hand. Katsuki felt his eyes widen with an emotion, it was dark and fearful. He felt the fear claw its way into his chest, trying not to hold his breath, fighting the rush of anxiety.
Katsuki pushed himself out of the water and pushed Midoriya in with a shout. He felt his mother’s glare on him, even when he knew she wasn’t there.
"I don't need help from useless, quirkless nobody like you!” His heart pinched again, but he continued to storm back to shore.
The boys headed back to the park they had come from. Auntie Inko was there looking around frantically. While the other women stood near the entrance, the mothers of the other boys were among them and had similarly worried looks but not as hysterical as Auntie Inko. One was his mother and she seemed pissed off as she stood near the entrance. The fear came like a wall almost tripping him up for a moment. But he continued to not show any weakness. To not look scared. Her arms were crossed as her nails dug into her shirt. Deku ran up to Auntie Inko, wide smile and arms reaching out excitedly.
She paused in her hysterics when she saw the telltale of ash blonde hair and bright green locks. She ran over to met him midway, and pulled Deku into a hug and kissed the top of his head. "Oh, Izuku!” She quickly looked over to meet his eyes as wondered closer, “Katsuki! I was worried sick about you two!" She reached an arm out, he flinched for a second, but she didn’t seem to notice and gently ran a hand over his cheek as he got into arms reach. She smiled at him with Deku still wrapped up in her arms. The two other boys met up with their mothers and were soon gone. Leaving Auntie Inko and his mother alone with them.
He looked away from the scene in front of him. It hurt to much to watch. He still felt the ghost of her hand that had gently caressed his check. It had felt so warm. His mother stomped over to them with a scowl. His stomach dropped, she quickly threw her hand back - and smack him. Katsuki's head shot down and pain shot down his neck, cheek stinging. He looked up to his mother who finally decided to say something,"What the fuck were you thinking!! You made me wait here just for you, hah?! What do you have to say for yourself brat?!" She didn't even allow him a second to respond to her. "Why are your clothes wet?! I told you not to fucking get your clothes dirty brat! You can't even do that, hah?!" He looked away from her and to his shoes, eyebrows knitting together, as he fought the urge to yell back.
Auntie Inko, someone who’s voice always soothed him, spoke, her brows were furrowed slightly and her body was tense as she held Izuku close to her. "Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him Mitsuki?" She slowly stood up, Deku gently cradled in her arms, close to her chest. Deku looked at them. Confused as if he was trying to solve a puzzle, he clearly couldn’t understand the actions of Katsuki’s mother.
"What, the little shit can take it just fine. Besides, he already knows it's his fault." Her gaze shifted back down to Katsuki and he was standing there silently with his hands balled up at his side, fingernails digging deep within his palms. Rolling her eyes and she grabbed his wrist in a vise lock and quickly began dragging him behind her out of the park’s entrance.
He looked back to Auntie Inko and Deku, before turning back to keep the pace with his mother’s much longer legs. Katsuki was stomping along, pout and all. Feeling like a dog being dragged by a leash, and his hand starting to prickle as the blood was restricted by his mother. She stormed down the sidewalk angrily in front of him and was still lecturing him. "What's wrong with you? You can't even do something as fucking simple as keeping your clothes clean. I swear to god! You're such a dumbass! "
"I didn’t mean too." He mumbled under his breath, rage began to boil under his skin. He didn’t mean to fall, he really didn’t. "Hah?" Mitsuki glared down at him.
"I said I didn’t mean too!" He shouted as he looked up at his mother with his own glare he learned well from her. Rage was building and burning, lighting a fire within him, he wanted to make her understand.
"Don't raise your voice at me you little shit!" She hit the back of his head this time, harder than she needed too. His head shot down for the second time and he felt a suppressed whimper in the back of his throat, pain disorienting him for a split second he shot his head back up with another glare.
"Stop hitting me!" He shouted. His small body felt the rage burn down a bit, satisfying it. Despite what he had just said another smack came flying to the back of his head. This one hurt even more than the last.
He stretched his arms up behind him, and a satisfying ‘crack’, escaped his spine. He turned towards his door, he was hungry. It was getting late, and he could probably avoid his classmates. If he ran into them a death glare would leave them from asking questions. Dumbfuck just had to go and say stupid shit like that.
He could have just ignored it, but he lashed out in a knee jerk like reaction.
He felt called out, a twist of a knife in his chest, and the terror was all too real. What the fuck did they know about him?! Weak, they were calling him weak. Like he couldn’t handle a slap or two. He felt his blood drop, cold and icy anger overtook him. Serves him right, Bakugou Katsuki wasn't weak.
I’m not weak, I’m not weak, I’m not weak, I’m not weak...this is nothing.
He wasn’t feeling hungry enough to risk running into that knock-off Pikachu fuck. He’ll just finish his homework and head to bed.
There was a sharp knock on the door, the second he closed his eyes. He suppressed a groan, not wanting to deal with any of the annoying assholes from his class. Rolling over to his side and curling in further under his covers. Whoever it was could just fuck off.
“Bakugo? It’s me, Kirishima.” The voice was muffled from the other side of the door. He let out a quiet grunt, god fucking damn it. It just had to be shitty-hair.
That fucking persistent son of a bitch. He cursed himself as his feet found themselves on the floor as he stood. Reluctantly walking to the door, and opening it just enough to see that bastards face.
It was dark as all the lights were off in the hallway and in his own dorm, the light from outside flooded through his window and gave enough to cast shadows of the red-heads features. Shadows making Kirishima's face look sharp, but he felt himself go soft for a moment.
“Hey! Sorry, did I wake ya?” Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck apologetically, his smile faltered for a second, before brightening up the room. Katsuki felt for just a moment as if he was staring at the sunset. “S’fine.” He muttered with as much malice as he could muster through his tired voice (and at that particular person). Kirishima seemed to relax a bit, why did that make Katsuki feel slightly relieved?
“You okay, you missed dinner and been up in your room all night?” He asked eyes filled with concern but lips still curled into his usual smile.
He felt a pang of fear in his chest, heart constricting for a moment. “I’m fucking fine, why the fuck wouldn’t I be?!” He tried not to yell loudly enough to wake the whole class. The redhead seemed taken back for a second, but recovered quickly. That’s ‘just how Bakugou was’ and anything else was out of character. He stomped out thoughts he long since stored away.
Kirishima just grinned at the blonde, “Of course you are, just wanted to make sure, bro!” He seemed to let out a forced chuckle and turned to his dorm next to Katsuki’s. “See ya, tomorrow, alright? Later, man,” said Kirishima. He closed his door and crawled back into bed.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the nightmares at bay, but seeing that stupid fuck did make him feel...slightly, better?
I'm a fucking disaster.
I must be fucking braindead.
-get fucked, losers
The next day everything was seemingly back to normal. Well, as normal as a student of U.A.’s day could get. He was still overwhelmingly worried about his literal walking bomb of a friend.
He was up all night thinking and replaying the scene of the night before. Bakugou had looked exhausted, his face rather pale even in the dark light of the night he was able to make those two things out. Two small things, but they seemed to keep him awake thinking about Bakugou’s wellbeing.
Today was Thursday and everybody went about their usual routine in the morning. He had smiled and waved to each of his passing classmates, and waited about for Bakugou to come out of his room so they could go for an early morning run. They’ve been running together since they moved into the dorm. Kirishima would talk off Bakugou’s ear, not really caring if the other was listening it felt nice, to just be with him. Then eat breakfast together, as usual, Bakugou would drink black coffee and Kirishima would watch in mild horror over whatever he managed to find to eat and drink his usual orange juice.
Bakugou never came down, forcing Kirishima to go about his morning with the large absence of a grumpy blonde. No one to grunt and shoot daggers early in the morning at whoever passed by. His worry skyrocketed, but eventually, he had to go to class, alone for the first time in months. Maybe things weren’t back to normal.
All he really knew was that he missed him and he was riddled with anxiety over his absence as he got ready for the oncoming day.
Things were fine, maybe Bakugou was finishing homework, very unlikely, or decided to sleep in. That believable, but on a school day? He was always determined to get in as much training as possible during the week, so the worry was seeded into his mind and anxiety into his bones.
He laid staring at the ceiling of his room. Mind blank and body heavy. God, did he just want to get one night of some good god damn sleep. He couldn’t muster up the energy to get out of bed as the sun slowly began to rise. Pathetic.
Class was going to start soon, maybe in thirty minutes, maybe twenty. He didn’t care. But he knew he had to go, he couldn’t ruin his perfect attendance, and he wanted to beat the shit out of something even if his body wasn’t agreeing at the moment.
In one solid motion, he flew the blankets off of himself and sat up. Rubbing his eyes aggressively, urging the exhaustion away. He should eat, but he wasn’t hungry. Today was going to be a long ass fucking day. Forcing himself up, and ignoring the brief wave of dizziness he received. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.
He wandered into the house, the cold slowly leaking off his skin as he unzipped his coat and threw his boats on the floor.
He had just played outside with some neighborhood kids and Deku. Triumph and pride obvious on his features. He had won the snowball fight and completely pummeled the other kids.
He could smell the scent of curry wafting through the house and his stomach grumbled. Excitement coursed in his veins as he wanted to recount his victory to his parents. Wondering to the living room he heard harsh whispers emanating from the kitchen. His face fell.
“I won't be gone that long, just a couple of days.” His father pleads out. “You're never home, we barely even fucking see you!” His mother spits back.
“Mitsuki, it’s work. I can’t help it. Just a few days. It’s not like I’ll be gone an entire month again.” his father tried softly.
“Fucking whatever! I’m not having this conversation, again!” His mother's voice raised slightly.
His father must have taken that as an end to the conversation and made his way out of the kitchen. Surprise evident on his face as he looked at his eight-year-old son standing in the room. “Hey, kiddo.” He said softly. “Did you have fun out there?” Katsuki crossed his arms and grunted out a “yeah”. His father smiled at him and made his way out of the room.
His father left before dinner, a bag in hand and camera equipment in the other. A gentle, “See ya, kiddo”, was all he said. Katsuki did his best to pretend he didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time he was left alone with his angry mother and it wouldn’t be the last.
He threw the door open to class, arriving way later than he usually did. He used concealer to hide his eyebags and a scowl to hide the rest of his exhaustion. His ‘friends’ made curious glances at him as he threw himself into his desk chair. He arrived only seconds before Aizawa. Keeping the infuriating ‘bakusquad’ and Iida’s lecturing for almost being late at bay. “Alright, everyone sit down. Iida attendance.” The tired man droned out.
His mother was furiously ranting about his father while they ate. He stopped listening after a minute or two ago and was currently eating his dinner with annoyed bites. Not like his mother was paying any attention just slamming her fist into the table and shouting about how his father ‘only cared about work’ and ‘won’t make the fucking time for us’, etcetera, etcetera.
When he finished he launched out of his chair and began clearing the table yelling back, “Like I give a shit what that old geezer does, you old hag!”
“Hah?!” She yelled back, “The fuck you just say to me, you damned brat!” Red with anger and glaring daggers at him, which he only glared right back.
Lunch rolled around, and he almost jumped out of his seat when shitty-hair gallivanted towards his desk with three idiots in tow. Of course, he suppressed the jump with his every fiber of his being. “Dude, ya ready for lunch?” He asked smiling brightly. Fuck, he needed to really invest in some sunglasses. He hefted out a grunt as he stood, knowing all to well that these fuckers wouldn’t leave him alone till they got what they wanted. For some-fucking-reason they wanted to eat lunch with him. No matter how many times he threatened to kill them or blew them up, fucking idiots.
He still was trying to wrap his mind around it. Why the hell would anyone want to spend time with him? Why weren’t they running in fear? Why did they try to include him?
He wanted to tear those smiles off their faces, he wanted to beat it into their heads that they should run in the other direction instead of running towards him.
Today was going to be a long fucking day.
I just kicked down my best friends door at 6 am demanding here read my drafts for the next few chapters.
She screamed and nearly fell off the bed in a panic. She thought I was pissed about here stealing my earbuds (I'm hard of hearing they are specialized)
I was pissed and practically threw my laptop at her
-get fucked losers