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Cat's Cradle

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The bottle of Jack Daniel's got passed back from Georg to Gustav, and the drummer took another swig of the amber alcohol.

"Ok, seriously, what time is it?" he asked.

"I don't know. Don't ask stupid questions." Georg grinned.

"If you'd give me my watch back, I wouldn't have to ask you."

"You lost it fair and square, but fine. Here," said Georg, and he handed his friend the watch in question. 

2:05 AM, Gustav remarked as he put it around his wrist. He looked back up at the TV screen. "Oh! Boobs!!" he exclaimed suddenly, and passed the bottle back to Georg. "Your turn."

Georg took the last gulp of Jack and set the empty bottle on the floor between them.

"Done. I win."

"What? Seriously? That was it?" Gustav was surprised to see they had already finished the contents of the liquor bottle.

"Yup. It wasn't really full when we started anyways. And there's a lot of boob shots in this movie. See, look- more boobs."


"Yeah, so I finished the bottle. I win, and you lose again."

Gustav repositioned himself on the floor at the end of the couch, and grabbed the remote to turn the TV volume down.

Georg frowned in return. "I can't hear a thing now. It's not like they care anyways, they're asleep. And we've been loud asses all night."

The Tokio Hotel bassist and drummer had been awake for most of the night, drinking and watching TV. They were sitting on the floor of what they all called the 'Whatever Room' in the back of the tourbus, which was quite literally a room for whatever, as it saw all activities from sex with groupies, to videogame marathons, to drunken debauchery, and sometimes even sleeping. The two were taking advantage of their free time on tour, and since they had no work to do in the morning, they decided to get plastered through a variety of dares. On the other hand, the twins, Tom and Bill, were scheduled for a photoshoot later this morning, and were fast asleep in their bunks a room away.

"I'm tired of the boobs. It's a shit movie anyways," Gustav said; his mood soured after losing to Georg for a third time at their moronic games. "Now, what's my dare?"

"Oh, dude, I have a good one. You're gonna wish you cheated and downed the bottle in one!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You have to wear Bill's clothes and wear makeup and do your nails like Bill does for a week!" He finished his idea with the brightest of smiles on his face.

Gustav groaned. 

"You lost, dude. It's fair."

"Geeeeeeorg!" the blond drummer whined, "It is not. It's not nearly the same as licking the orange goop off the fridge door, or surrendering my watch. It's too much, man."

"Then for just a night out? That's fair."

Gustav's mind began ruminating a way to get out of the punishment. "I have a better idea," he declared.

"Oh, yeah? You want me to make you wear a tutu also?"

"Pssht. Like you could." Snort. "No, but seriously, we should get Tom to wear Bill's shit for a week."

Georg burst out laughing and immediately covered his mouth to drown the noise. His eyes were scrunched together and his cheeks turned red from laughing. "Brilliant!" he cried. "Oh my god, that'd be brilliant. But there's like no way that would ever happen."

"You sure about that?" The look on Gustav's face was bordering on convincing.

"What? You think you can just walk up to Tom and ask him nicely? Hey Tom, can you trade your large manly XXL shirts and your favorite caps for Bill's girl clothes, please? Also, we think you'd look pretty with makeup and Gustav wants to paint your nails.... Yeah right. Nice try."

"Ha, ha. You won't be laughing when I actually succeed," he boasted.

"Actually, I'm sure I'd be laughing my pants off. But what, you don't think you can actually make it happen? For a whole week?"

"Yeah, I think I can. Also, I have another idea."

"I'm all ears." 

"We should get Bill to wear Tom's shit for a week also, and with no makeup and stuff. Get them to trade. What do you think?"

Georg raised his eyebrows. "Hmm... interesting. And very devilish. That's actually quite the idea. It'd be tons of fun I'm sure." He started thinking forward into the new plan. His fuzzy mind was somehow clear enough to plot evil against his twin friends, but not tie his own shoes at this point. "But how on Earth can we get them to trade? It won't be pretty. Like, at all. Blackmail or something? What do we have on them?"

"Umm, baby pictures? Naw, I actually don't know. I don't have the faintest idea how to make them do it, I was bluffing. But now I totally wanna think up a way to make it happen," Gustav admitted. "How 'bout a bribe?"

The wheels, and cogs, and little tickers began working in the brains of the two friends, and soon they had hatched a brilliant plan. Now it just had to be put in motion, and soon enough, Tom would look like Bill, Bill would look like Tom, and the G's would be laughing hysterically. Or so they thought.


The crucial first step in the plan made its debut later that morning.

"Dude, this better work." Gustav yawned after waking up much earlier than the G's had first intended. They stepped off the bus and walked towards the van where the twins were already seated. However much it pained them to give up their free morning, it was very necessary for them to accompany the twins to their photoshoot.

"Yeah," nodded Georg. "You got the paperwork with you?"


The boys climbed into the middle seats of the van, in front of the twins, and behind David and Tobi.

Their manager turned around to ask, "So tell me why you two are coming again?"

"Just felt like it. Free food, schmoozing with the folk, you know." Georg grinned cheerfully.

"And you?"

"What he said," said Gustav, yet he sounded slightly less believable than his counterpart in crime.

David threw them an incredulous look with a quirked eyebrow. Those boys were lying. He’d bet his Rolex on it.

Tobi, one of their ever-faithful security guards, turned to face them from the front seat. "You know it's not a good idea to expose yourselves unless you actually need to," he scolded with a disapproving look.

Tom, who was in the backseat --clearly not paying attention--, had caught on to only that one sentence, and stuck his head forward to say mischievously, "How about I expose myself instead?" At which all four boys snickered, and Tobi rolled his eyes and gave up his speech.

The Tokio Hotel van arrived at the photo studio under an hour later, and everyone was relieved to be rid of Bill requesting a bathroom stop every minute for the last quarter-hour. When the six men climbed out of the van, the twins were immediately whisked away to their personal make-up stations, David and the director began a dull conversation about the terms and conditions of the twins' photoshoot, while Georg and Gustav tried to separate themselves from Tobi's watchful eye.

Only minutes later, Gustav spotted Bill telling his makeup artist he'd be right back. The G's did their new secret handshake and parted ways. Gustav followed Bill into the bathroom, and Georg headed for Tom who was playing with his cellphone by a window.


"Hey Bill," Gustav said as he caught up to Bill, "the dude wanted you to sign some sheet about not suing the makeup artist or something. Apparently you were supposed to sign it before you sat down." He shoved the paper and a pen into Bill's face. "Sign, and I'll take it back for you."

"Oh jeez, nice timing. I need to pee so bad. Stupid bitch should have told me before."

"Don't think it's her job with papers."

"Whatever." Bill took the legal form from Gustav, placed it on the wall above the urinal and scribbled his name and the date on the bottom lines. He handed it back to Gustav. "Give it back to whoever for me, will ya?" he instructed as his hands disappeared to the front of his pants.

"Yeah. No problem." 

Oh god Bill, that was way too easy. This'll teach you to sign shit without reading it, Gustav thought as he exited the men's bathroom.


"Hey Tom."



"This chick I'm texting, dude. Fan girl. I'm gonna score soon, I just know it. Maybe even tonight when we get to the hotel."

"Good luck with that, not that you need it." Georg smiled. He hesitated a few moments before getting down to business. "Ok, so anyways, they want you to sign some form you were supposed to sign when you got in."

"What form?"

"Some shit about makeup or something. I got it here." When Tom didn't look up from his phone, Georg shoved it in his face. God, he was so nervous Tom would ask more questions or he wouldn't buy his speech. He was trying to sound as casual as he could. "So yeah. Sign it so I can get it back to the guy."

"You got a pen or do you want me to sign it in blood?" 

Tom had barely looked up.

"Yeah." Georg materialized a pen from his back pocket and handed it to his friend, who signed and dated the paper quickly and handed it back to Georg.

"Thanks man," he said as he got out his phone again.



The drummer and bassist sat down by the refreshments a few minutes later. 

"Done. Signed."


"That was scary easy, don’t you think?" laughed Georg.

"I know."

"Dude, we could have packed that thing with so much more shit. Those two would sign anything."

"Maybe next time. For now, it's on to Step Two."


Chapter Text




When the twins woke up on Monday morning, they were looking forward to a relatively light workload for the week. After talking about how sweet it'll be to catch up on doing nothing the night before, it was safe to say that they were both completely blindsided by the events that would unfold. 

Step Two of the G's wicked little plan was about to commence. 

Georg and Gustav walked into the tourbus kitchenette where the twins were having breakfast. Or rather, let's call it what it is: coffee with a napkin on the side. Anyway, both looked up when a piece of legal length paper was pushed beneath their noses. Bill quirked an eyebrow and Tom asked, "What's this then?" 

"The contracts you signed last week. The terms start in one hour." 

Bill's face contorted into one of utter puzzlement. "Huh?" 

Tom responded in kind, "What are you talking about, Gustav? And why does Georg look like he's about to piss himself in joy?"

Georg couldn't hold back his laughter that long and let out a snort, but decided to keep quiet and let Gustav do the talking. The drummer of their group was less likely to receive a punch to the face when the twins finally found out what they had signed. Plus, Gustav just sounded more business-like and right for the occasion. Even Georg couldn't help but follow his formal directions when he spoke all pompous like that. 

Gustav was thinking over his exact words, which meant Tom's quizzical glare was still burning a hole into Georg's ill-disguised happiness. When Gustav answered, both Tom and Bill's faces dropped like ninety-nine lead balloons. 

Of course, only for a second, before they started laughing hysterically. 

"And why would we possibly follow through with such a ridiculous suggestion?" 

"It's not a suggestion, Tom," Gustav answered, still looking in complete control. 

Bill smirked. "Yeah, it's a bad suggestion." He tore the paper contract into two long pieces and added in true diva fashion, "Ignored. You can forget about your silly joke or whatever this is." The singer then proceeded to tear each of the pieces of paper into increasingly smaller bits.

Gustav cleared his throat and as if by magic, Georg sprang into action. The guitarist pulled a new copy of the document out of his back pocket –the original, this time-- and presented the fact that this copy was laminated by flopping it around jubilantly. 

The sound of swooshing laminated paper was nowhere near as annoying as the boastful look on Georg's face however.

Bill's confidence faltered. The formality of the G's presentation was beginning to worry him. Just a bit. "What are you two playing at? We certainly aren't gonna be switching clothing for a week, so you can forget this silliness." 

Tom nodded along.

"Not even to save yourselves from the humiliation of millions of fan girls seeing baby pictures of you guys?" 

"We already heard that part of your blackmail. I don't see why we should be so scared." 

"Really? You don't remember a certain set of pictures from when you were five?" 

The twins were truthfully bewildered. They looked like they were rubbing their brain cells together as best possible, but alas, no epiphany in sight. 

Georg tried to compose himself enough to talk half as seriously as Gustav. "You guys don't remember, say, three pictures of you guys in a bathtub?" 

Yes. Those they remembered. Bill seemed put off, while Tom glared at Georg hard enough to make the bassist take a step backwards. 

"Nice job getting a hold of those. We're still not playing this game though." 

Gustav responded this time. "There's a legal contract. You signed it. If you don't follow it you can't sue us for defamation after the twincest fangirls and media go crazy with rumors," he said, then crossed his arms like he meant business. 

Tom quickly pondered the damage those three little pictures would do. One, their little pre-pubescent dicks were visible. Two, they both had ridiculous bubble-bath hairstyles going on. And three, in one of the pictures Tom was giving little Bill a kiss on the cheek (not that it was actually possible to tell the twins apart, but still not something you want non-family members seeing).

He frowned and looked at Bill. Silently they agreed that the G's were assholes but to hold to their convictions and not give in to the games. Surely there was a way out of this. 

When they looked back at the G's, it was Bill that spoke steadily, with one raised eyebrow. "You guys wouldn't dare." 

Tom nodded. 

"You guys don't think we'd do it? After that incident a few months ago where I woke up with shaving cream in my boxers? I know it was you." 

If Bill's snicker wasn't more of a giveaway on top of the fact that it really couldn't have been anyone else other than the twins (no matter how much they laughed while denying it), then Tom snorting as well wasn't helping them. 

"No idea what you're talking about, Georg." 

"Yeah, we're innocent. And we're not participating in this blackmail!" 

"I think you'll find you have no choice." 

"So release the dumb pictures. The fangirls will wet themselves at them. You can't force us to put clothing on that we don't want to. It's not physically possible." 

Gustav was still prepared. There was one last move until checkmate: "We might not be able to force you, but Jost can." 

The G's both smiled like their teeth were about to fall out of their faces with so little lip coverage. It was an eerie sight. 

"Good one. Jost would never agree with you." 


David Jost looked between the four teenagers standing in his makeshift hotel-room office later that evening, and almost laughed. 

"I'm sorry guys, but I agree with Georg and Gustav." 

Bill grabbed Tom's hand. Hard. 

There's no way those words just came out of their manager's mouth. 

Keeping Tom's hand in a vice-grip was helping Bill not fall over from shock and humiliation right now. 

The only reason the twins had even gone to David was because they had been profusely positive it would be the quickest way to shut the G's up. 

"So, since your contract legally started a few hours ago already, I would make quick work of trading clothing, or else you're in violation of the terms you signed and the G's have full rights to release those pictures of you two. Which are adorable I might add." 

Check. Mate.


Of course there was about another hour's worth of squabbling over the matter, but in the end, David had made sure he was understood: This exercise was to be a lesson for the twins in the dangers of signing contracts without reading them.

He seemed a bit too cheerful to have them fulfill the terms though. 

And their two scheming bandmates were absolutely merciless in their unsportsmanlike teasing following their victory. 

In fact, they were in the kitchenette of the Tokio Hotel tourbus right now, still laughing their heads off. 

"Bastards. Fucking bastards!" Tom swore for the millionth time. 

"Motherfucking cuntbags!" Bill added. 

So there were the twins looking down at outfits the other twin had selected for them... and trying to buy a few more moments before having to actually put the clothing on, by swearing up a blizzard. 

One last sigh, and then it was Bill that began changing first. Tom just watched him for a few seconds, baffled that his little brother was sitting shirtless, in his tiny briefs pulling on a pair of Tom's huge jeans. Something didn't look right, and it seemed Bill knew it too because he spoke up. Reluctantly. 


Tom snapped out of his dazed stare, shifting his focus to Bill's face, and grunted in response. 

"Uh, I hate to say this, but I think I need a pair of your boxers too." Bill made a funny puckered face in dislike. "These are gonna be too short if I hike them up, and inappropriately revealing if I'm showing my briefs..." He trailed off when Tom nodded and began looking for the new underwear. Bill couldn't read if the quick following of directions was their usual twin connection or something else. He thought Tom would have been angry to be switching underwear as well. 

Perhaps Tom didn't fully understand, because he handed Bill the new item and finally began examining the tight clothing he himself was supposed to fit into. So Bill elaborated. "So, uh... you know, you're going to have to wear mine too. Boxers don't really fit in my pants." 

Tom heaved a huge sigh and threw the jeans he was holding back onto the bed beside Bill. "Fuck sake." 


"This is ridiculous." 

The only thing Bill could do was apologize again and make a cute innocent shrug of his shoulders. He then put on the giant tent of a red t-shirt Tom had laid out for him, which covered the younger twin enough to drop the rest of his clothing and re-dress the correct way without either of them having to turn around. 

Tom watched. Bill didn't look so bad in his clothing. It was kind of like when he slept in Tom's big t-shirts. Just instead of scrawny legs poking out from underneath, he now had the full ensemble. 

"I think you should start changing. It's not that bad." Bill was talking to Tom's shoes as he was bent down to slip on a similar pair of his brother's sneakers. He left them kind of loose and tucked in the remaining laces, as he'd seen Tom do countless times. "It's ok once everything is on, you know." 

"That's 'cause you're suddenly wearing my clothing, but I have to wear yours. You know that's weirder..." 

Bill just looked at Tom, who was examining the form-fitting jeans he ultimately had to put on, again. Even though it was on the tip of Bill's tongue to say something angry back, he couldn't. He indeed had to admit that it was probably harder for Tom considering their individual images. It was obvious Tom was trying to buy time. 

So Bill decided to try and lift Tom's evidently deflated spirits by offering a dopey grin, as he shook out his dreadfalls and shoving a black bandanna on top. It resulted in a smile from his older brother, who put on him the finishing baseball cap to Bill's new outfit. 

"You look cute. Like a slightly less threatening version of me." Tom grinned finally. 

Bill pouted. "But we're identical! How am I less macho than you? Huh?" 

Bill's face made Tom laugh out loud, and then pinch his cheek the way annoying aunts always do. "It's cuz you're my little brother." 

The smug way Tom said it had Bill throwing him a lopsided frown and slight cut-eye. Inside however, they were both joking and it was nice to see Tom smile again. The elder twin was threatening indeed when he had yelled back at David earlier. He had been near livid ever since this whole switching clothes topic had been breached, and Bill was sure that if he couldn't help keep Tom's emotions in check for the next week, Georg was bound to end up with a black eye. Tom was not a fan of anyone messing with his image and attire, he was too proud. As much pride as Bill also had; but Bill was more flexible and adventurous, especially in the name of fun. Maybe by the end of this week, Tom would find it fun to dress up like Bill also. 

That was a big maybe. 

"Ok, so are you gonna put those pants on or what? They won't bite." 

"You sure you don't have any looser ones?" 

"None that I haven't stolen from your closet. Besides, those are loose." Tom raised a very Bill-like eyebrow at the statement, and Bill had to add quietly, "Well, for me." 

He shut up when Tom finally, finally, began shimmying himself into the denim in question. It was funnier than Bill expected it to be. 

The younger twin just stared and withheld the laughs he knew would have Tom throwing another fit. Funny as it was to see Tom in his briefs and skinny jeans, Bill had to admit they fit him really well. Especially the way he stood shirtless right now, trying to see his own behind. 

A funny feeling was stirring inside Bill's belly. He knew part of it was enchantment at seeing a part of his brother he so rarely saw, and the other part he attributed to jealously over Tom having a slightly more muscular body than him. 

He smiled sheepishly. "They look good, Tom." 

"You think? I'm not used to it. I look like Georg or something." 

"Yeah, you're right; your huge ass is stretching them out." 

"Wrong again, little brother, that's my dick that's taking up the room." 

Tom winked at him, and Bill had to look away. 

It was unusual, but Bill felt himself blushing right now. 

"Here. Put on the t-shirt already. Stop admiring yourself." 

It was their odd sense of humor to throw sexual innuendo back and forth, but Bill feared Tom was too good at flirting sometimes. Bill always flirted back, he didn't mind, he thought it was harmless and fun. He never expected to have something Tom say make him blush. 

Maybe Bill was just being a prude suddenly. 

Or maybe his brother looked really good in the more form-fitting clothing. 

He brushed it off thinking it must be normal since he'd never seen Tom dress like that before. That maybe it was even a compliment to himself because it was his clothing. 

When Tom had put everything on however, Bill couldn't help but stare for a minute, gesturing for Tom to twirl around. 

"Gosh, you do look good in my clothes." 

Tom had even put on the cuff bracelets. 

The broad grin on Bill's face had Tom beaming as well. If Bill liked it, maybe it wasn't so bad. 

The twins stepped out into the kitchen only to receive a howling bout of laughter from their bandmates though. 

Tom's face hardened again, into the frown he had been wearing most of that day. 

"Cut it out, assholes," his deep voice threatened. 

Georg and Gustav however, not only high-fived, but the twins witnessed a strange secret-handshake-type hand movement as well. 

It only irked Tom more.


Chapter Text




The combination of all the stupidity going on was nearing to be too much for Tom, whose pride couldn't take so much harassment in one day. 

Especially with Georg guffawing like a fucking hyena. At him. And Bill, no less. 

The nerve of that boy. 

And on top of it, Georg managed to huff between his howls of laughter that, "Tomi, forgot his makeup. It's in the contract that you have to wear makeup, Tomi." 

His mocking had Tom pinning him with a death-stare. If Avada Kedavra were real, this would be it. 

Tom bared his teeth and actually took a step forward, only to be stopped by Bill. Bill still had more wits about him. Bill, who massaged Tom's palm and pulled him back out of the kitchenette and into the seclusion of the bunk area again. 

"Get a grip, Tom." 

"That bastard," Tom grinded out through gritted teeth. "They're supposed to be our friends." 

"They are. They're just playing. And getting us back for all the shit we do to them. It was bound to happen." Bill shrugged and tried to catch Tom's line of sight. 

"Well, they're being assholes. Especially Georg." 

"Yeah, I know, but seriously. Calm down. You're shaking." The way Bill looked at him was as if he were an injured infant. 

The younger then pulled the elder further away from their bandmates' location, into the tiny bathroom, where he locked the door behind them. 

Tom didn't like being babied like this, but there he was, sitting in a very deflated manner on the toilet lid, while Bill sat on the floor in front of him, with that look on his face again. 

"I'm fine, Bill. Don't look at me like that." 

"Fine." So Bill looked away. And they sat in silence for a few minutes. 

Tom did his best to put Georg out of his mind, and was actually quite successful, as he looked at Bill instead, and it made him smile. 

His brunette twin looked hilariously adorable in his clothing and he wasn't even taking the time to appreciate how amusing it truly was. This had to be the only upside to this trading-clothes nonsense. 

Bill's slightly smaller frame was swallowed whole in the material of Tom's large clothing. Very tent-like indeed. Tom laughed suddenly, and it made Bill turn to face him again. 

"Glad you're feeling better, but don't tell me you're laughing at me now." 

"Oh, I'm laughing at you alright." 

"To-om." Bill pouted. 

"Have you looked at yourself?" 

"Have you looked at your-self?" 

"Don't be a smartass." 

"I have to do your makeup. Unless you feel up to the task of doing it yourself." 

The sour look reappeared on the elder twin's face. He wasn't thinking so much about the complexity of the products or the pointy sticks getting too close to his eyes, he was really thinking more about how humiliating it would be. He groaned and put his head in his hands. 

"I swear, Tom, it's not that bad." 

Tom was trying desperately to be brave. This was something Bill did every day. Something Tom had witnessed thousands of times being done to a face identical to his, and in the end it looked good. Great actually. 

It looked great... on Bill. 

Tom massaged his temples as Bill continued to talk about how it was ok, and it doesn't hurt, and he wouldn't make it as dark for Tom as he painted his own face if that's what Tom wanted. Nothing about how ridiculous it would be for a boy --scratch that-- for a man, because they were men now, to be wearing makeup. Bill wouldn't see it that way of course. 

A few more minutes and a handful of very large sighs from Tom and he was ready to be made up. 

If Bill could do this, so could he. If he didn't, he would be admitting that his brother wasn't a man or something, or that he was a freak. And Tom had fought his whole life for Bill to never feel that way. He would be the worst hypocrite if he couldn't do this. 

Mustering up the most complacent face he could, Tom finally looked up at his brother again. 

"Ok. Let's do this. Do to my face whatever it is you do to yours." 

"Like what I'm wearing now?" Bill questioned, unsure if that's what Tom really wanted. He had been talking for the last ten minutes about a softer approach. 

Which Tom had evidently not heard a word of. All Tom was thinking about right now was Bill's face. How beautiful Bill looked and how he never wanted him to change. 

"Yeah, I want to do this." 

"We don't have to, Tom," Bill said gently as he took Tom's hand in his. "I could go back out there and yell at the guys and tell them to fuck off, that they've humiliated us enough. That we get it already but that this is enough." 

Tom couldn't stand Bill being a big brother to him like this, not now, not over something so stupid. It made him feel like a failure. It warmed his heart also, but mostly he just felt like he couldn't let Bill down. 

"I want to do this for you," Tom said as a broad grin plastered its way onto his face. He had meant those words. "So paint me up already." 

He gave a last squeeze to Bill's hand, and it made Bill smile too. If only a bit more unsure than Tom looked. 

Either way, the younger twin told his brother to relax and then got out his favorite makeup and brushes. 

It was surprising to Tom how relaxed he actually felt when Bill took over. All he had to do was sit there, and look up, look down, tilt his head, or follow some other simple instruction while Bill swept a variety of different brushes over different areas of his face. It wasn't bad at all. Even the pointy pencils that looked so menacing from afar were actually rather soft when applied to his skin. In fact, it was rather enjoyable seeing Bill fuss about with that concentrated look on his face. Sometimes Bill's tongue would poke out, and other times he would bite his lip and get up really close in Tom's space. It was endearing, Tom thought. 

Long before he thought it would over, Bill stepped back from him to inspect his handiwork and declared that he was "Done!" 

"Really? Already?" Tom had dazed off and gotten comfortable. 

"Yup!" Bill smiled a brilliant toothy smile back at him. "You look so good, Tomi", he gushed, "I swear, you should do this more often." 

"Somehow I doubt that," Tom laughed as he got up to look in the mirror. 

The face staring back at him looked eerily like Bill's. He frowned for a second before Bill started asking if he hated it. 

"No, no. It's good. I look so much like you though." 

"But it's ok?" 

Tom couldn't tear his eyes from the mirror. His vision bounced between looking at himself and then at his real brother and all he could think of was how he so rarely paid attention to the fact that they were indeed identical. That meant more to him than he could describe in that moment. 

When his mind wandered off into the strange territory of thinking that they both looked pretty sexy actually, Tom snapped out of it immediately. "You still have to wash your face off, you know, so we're Bill and Tom again, not just Bill and Bill." 

"Would that be too much fun or something?" Bill questioned with a signature raised eyebrow. 

A small uncomfortable shudder rippled down Tom's back. It was too close to the devious thought that had been in Tom's mind only a few seconds ago. He pursed his lips and told Bill to not be a smartass for the second time that night. 

Bill smirked and wiggled his eyebrows in a way that couldn't be described as anything but smartass-like. 

"Maybe I am a smartass." 

"Maybe you just have a smart ass. And that's not saying much about your brain." 

"At least my ass is smart. Your ass is a dumb slut and is gonna catch Chlamydia and Herpagonasyphilaids one day probably." 

At that, they both cracked up and started laughing so loud the G's must have been scared the bus was going to come crumbling down. 

Well, if maturity wasn't their strength, modesty might be. 

"Bill, my ass is not a slut, my dick is. And there's good reason for it." 

Tom hadn't meant for his comments to turn sexual, but the innuendo was trained in his comebacks. There was a fun thrill to it also. 

Yeah, not modesty either. Perhaps good moral character? 

"Your slutty dick should stay away from my smart ass." The look on Bill's face accompanying that statement was smoldering. Challenging. 

Uh, the facade of good moral character then? 

Tom eyed his brother suspiciously for a second before dissolving their moment. 

"Bill, wash your face," Tom said before walking out of the puny bathroom to go sit on a bunk. 

So he sat and waited. And in a facade of good moral character, reminded himself that Bill was kidding. As always. 

And yet, he had never had to remind himself of such a thing. Because his mind had never traveled into such dangerous territory before. 

What had gotten into him tonight? Why was he even thinking there was some possibility of stepping over the brotherly line? There was no way in hell. Even if his brother was sexy. A word he had known for a long time described Bill, but had never himself used. 

He felt strange in his own skin suddenly. And it didn't help that he was dressed like Bill. 

The scent of the t-shirt he was wearing caught his attention and he shrugged in order to smell his own shoulder. He smelled like Bill. It made him smile, and for that one second he thought it was amazing. He even went over and sprayed a bit more of Bill's cologne on himself before he could analyze if his actions were sane. 

Too quickly, Tom's fantasy vanished as Bill stepped out of the bathroom to face him. Makeup-free and looking very much like Tom, yet presenting a wide Bill-like grin. 

"Wow, you look so much like me like that!" Tom exclaimed, now completely awed by his walking, talking doppelganger. 

"Duh!" Bill responded with a poke-out of his tongue. 

"Except I wouldn't have done that." 

"But I would." 

Tom was taken aback again, for what he registered as too many times that night. Bill was smirking at him the way he himself might normally do to a camera while tonguing his lip ring. It was Tom's signature look, specially designed to make panties drop even through a TV screen. It was unsettling, and he had to remind himself that whatever his mind was insinuating it to mean coming from Bill, it didn't mean anything. 

Bill was coming closer to him now. The air had shifted between them and Tom wasn't sure if he was still imagining things. Time moved too fast for his emotions and appropriate actions to keep up with what was happening. Bill was in his arms now, and Tom could swear he would be able to tell he'd just put on his perfume. Especially the way Bill's nose was pressed into his neck, below the choker Tom was wearing. The fact that Bill looked exactly like him had been all but swept from his mind; this was all Bill, somehow enveloping him from every angle. 

Tom didn't understand what this was. It was a hug, like millions before, but this felt different somehow. He felt like he was hiding something, ashamed of himself. Lying. 

"Tomi, you look really good," Bill told him. He was practically purring into his brother's ear. 

Tom blushed. From ear to ear, he was crimson colored, he knew it. Bill was the good looking one. Even without makeup, his sharp features held a beauty Tom's identical ones never could. At least, in Tom's mind. And yet he relished in the thrill of Bill telling him otherwise. Part of him wanted his brother to say more to him. 

No matter how bold and uninhibited Tom's clothing was making him feel, Bill knew he was pushing the line. He shouldn't have said that, not in that way. 

He couldn't help it though. There was something illuminating about seeing Tom like this. Like he'd never seen him before or something. 

Or something. 

Something he shouldn't venture too far to reach. 

So Bill pulled himself together, settled his face back into one of propriety, and stepped back from his brother's body. 

"Let's go back out there?" 

"Yeah," Tom agreed, though he still had a glassy look in his eyes he was trying to hide. 

Bill pulled him back out to the kitchenette and the atmosphere changed again suddenly. Now he was in a fishbowl, all eyes on him. 

The minute Georg caught sight of the elder twin, he started laughing, and the bile in Tom's gut began to rise. This was nauseating. He recognized too many emotions were flooding into his brain. 

Then Georg opened his mouth to tease him further. His jabs at Tom's fairy dust and pretty princess wings irritated Tom to an excruciating level, grating against his last nerve. He balled his hands into fists. 

Bill tried to step between them, telling Georg to shut up. 

Georg was all the while unknowing of the mental fight happening in the guitarist's head. Had he known Tom was taking it so badly, he would have stopped. 

Too bad he kept going on about Tom being a fag like Bill now. 

That was the last straw. And faster than Tom could think about what he was doing, the anger surging though his veins won out over all mental capacity and asserted it's ferocity; as Tom's fist flew into Georg's face. 

Fight or flight, he supposed. 

From then on however, it was silently but irrevocably understood by everyone in that room that Tom would no longer be wearing makeup. Most definitely not, thought Georg as he clutched his swelling jaw. 

Thank god Tom hadn't gone for his nose. 

Tom had secluded himself at the back of the bus after the incident, and it wasn't for a few hours later that Bill came to find him. 

"Hey," Bill said as he timidly entered the Whatever Room, and closed the door behind him. 

"Hey," Tom replied. He wasn't sure what else to say since he had spent the last hour practicing how to be normal. The hour before that, he had spent reassuring himself that he was being paranoid about anything strange going on between him and his brother. 

Yet there was Bill, and Tom couldn't help but think that something was indeed different. 

His brother climbed up onto the bed with him and instead of crawling up and snuggling right beside him, he crossed his legs and fidgeted with his oversized shirt a few feet away. 

"So the G's went up to the hotel tonight. Do you want to as well?" 

Tom watched him, studying his twin's movements. He knew what he should say, even if tonight it was awkward for him. "No. Stay here with me tonight." 

He couldn't run away. In this moment they only had each other. It had been a while since the last time their closeness was tested like this. And Tom for one, had never imagined that something so comical and stupid such as trading clothing would make so many strange emotions come to light. 

Whatever this was or wasn't, was infinitely better than being somewhere else without Bill. 

He stuck his hand out to capture Bill's dainty one. Bill looked hesitant as he accepted it. Tom thought the action would budge his brother into closing the distance between them, but Bill stayed in his spot. "What took you so long?" 

"I stayed with Georg and Gustav." 

"I figured, but why?" 

"You hit Georg pretty damn hard, you know?" Bill looked up and caught Tom's eye. "He says he's sorry, by the way." 

"I know he is. And I am too. But you're avoiding the question." 

The look Tom had fixed him with was too intense for Bill, who looked away and tried to drop Tom's hand. Tom only held on stronger. 

"What took you so long?" Tom insisted. 

"I wanted to give you space." 


"I dunno," Bill muttered. He was looking down and looked much less dominating than he had before Tom had punched their friend. 

"You don't usually do that." 

"I thought it would be appropriate today." 

"Cuz of the way you were teasing me earlier?" 

The question made Bill look up. "I wasn't teasing." The way he so adamantly proclaimed such a thing was surely pushing the boundary of propriety once more. 

"You weren't?" 

"You look so freaking sexy dressed like that." The look in Bill's eyes was unwaivered. Tom knew he was only being sincere. 

"Isn't that just a compliment to yourself?" he tried to joke. 

"It's not." Bill looked down again. 


"Yeah. That's why I didn't come earlier." 

"'Cause it's weird?" Tom laughed. "Trust me, I'm glad I'm not paranoid. I've been thinking the same thing ever since you put on my underwear." 

A mixture of feelings were warring inside Bill. He knew he should be embarrassed and guilty for egging on his brother like this. He hadn't meant to. It was making him feel powerful though, and he couldn't deny that. This is how a tight-rope walker must feel, right? Like you're walking on air, even if the fall might kill you? 

He just didn't know what to say back. Tom had just confirmed all this stuff he was feeling to be more real. Like he had just removed the safety harness. Which was scary, because now they couldn't hide behind it being a joke. 

Could they even still joke about it? Bill felt trapped suddenly. 

Every time he had soared with confidence to flirt with his own brother, it wasn't this real somehow. 

"Ok," he finally mumbled. 

Bill had taken so long to reply that Tom had zoned out again. In fact, he had lost track of how many times he had zoned out, just watching Bill tonight. 

"Ok?" Tom let out a small chuckle. He'd made Bill all awkward, he knew it. "Just don't think about that. Lay down with me like we always do." 

Bill hesitated, but at a time like this it wasn't an order from his brother he was about to disobey. Especially since he craved their closeness also. 

That's how they fell asleep that night, cuddled together under a fuzzy blanket.


Chapter Text




In the morning, the twins made their way into the hotel restaurant for breakfast with the rest of their team, in the most lethargic manner possible. Not much talking. No walking faster than a zombie. No odd glances or feelings, even as they put on foreign clothing. Everything had been swept under the rug for now, and the only thing of any importance was the coffee.

The coffee, which was steaming hot and amazing. 

Bill sighed in contentedness and sat back in his seat.

Gustav watched him for a few moments. And then moved on to Tom; who was hunched over and taking such small sips from his mug, it looked as if he was breathing the coffee in more than actually drinking it.

Georg was at a neighboring table, sitting with their manager and one of their security crew.

The drummer knew he was giving Tom his space. They had discussed it last night with Bill, and while it was still funny to see the twins' Freaky Friday act, Georg had obviously said one word too many on the subject. Bill assured them it would all be fine in the end, that Tom wasn't that mad at Georg, even if he'd hit him.

Gustav remained pensive on the whole subject. This morning he had withdrawn into his newspaper, yet he wasn't really reading it. He was watching the people around him as if it were a TV show.

He could see David roll his eyes at Georg after examining his bruised jaw, and he almost smirked.

Everyone else around him seemed very calm.

Thank the lord that today was a studio day. 


Their lunch break came late in the day; it was practically evening by the time the band left the recording studio. And Gustav had been right; the whole mood of the morning had produced excellent results for their music.

Now, the twins had split off from the group and were walking into a nearby restaurant for a much needed meal.

"That riff you had going today, that one you came up with for Sunshine was epic."

Tom smiled back at Bill as they took their seats. He couldn't deny, he'd been on fire today.

"You weren't so bad yourself." 

"I bet it feels good to be wearing my stuff. Bet that's why you were raging on that guitar like that." Bill scrunched up his nose in a way Tom recognized easily as mocking him.

His usual comeback was to flick his tongue over his lip piercing and smirk.

Bill still prodded on. "Don't deny it. My stuff is awesome," he boasted with a smile.

"I think the only reason you're so happy that I'm in your clothes is cuz it means you get to be in mine," Tom responded with a challenging eyebrow.

They gave their order to the waitress and waited for their food. The beers arrived first, and they clinked glasses before taking the first gulp.

Bill was smiling like a dork, like a love-struck high-schooler and he didn't even know it. He thought it was normal, and while it kind of was, it didn't hit him until much later what he was in fact doing the entire time.

"I was going to say that your clothes belonged on the floor better," the singer laughed, "but then I realized that's not something anyone wants to see, so instead, I'll say your clothes are stupid."

Tom looked at him for a second before laughing even harder. "Wow Bill, I think that was the lamest thing you've ever said. I mean terrible, just terrible. And I've been around to witness pretty much all the lame things you say."

It made his brother pout cutely. He wasn't offended, Tom knew.

"That was mean. You better make it up to me."

"I don't see how. You said my clothes are stupid. I'd expect that from Georg, but not from you."

"Are you kidding? I've told you your stupid giant clothes are stupid a million times since we were twelve!" 

"I suppose."

"You still have to make it up to me." 

Tom wasn't impressed, but was curious to see what Bill had in mind. After all, Bill always had some scheme up his sleeve. 

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"You have to let me paint your nails!" Bill laughed, and for a second too long Tom was drawn in to his brother so much, he almost forgot to shovel food into his mouth. Much less, vehemently disagree to follow through with something of the sort.

Slowly and steadily throughout their meal, Tom was falling into a dream-like lull where his brother was the sole focus of the universe. It had been a long time since he had felt like this.

He studied everything Bill did. The way his fork clanked with the plate when he wasn't paying attention. The way his dreadfalls threatened to fall into his beer glass at times. The way his headband left a light mark on Bill's forehead when he'd moved it a few minutes ago. The way his knobby elbows looked amusing sticking out of such large armholes in his t-shirt.

Tom was drinking everything in. The best parts were when Bill laughed. He had made sure to keep Bill smiling, laughing, and making all his most cherished silly facial expressions the whole time they were seated.

When it came to dessert, Tom ordered the same thing Bill did. 

If it was brimming with chocolate, neither could resist.

And even though they'd ordered the same chocolate cheesecake, Bill couldn't help from taking a forkful from Tom's plate.

He laughed around the mouthful he had stolen.

The elder debated how to react. Last time Bill had done that, Tom had shoved a good deal of the dessert into Bill's face. He grinned at the memory.

"Bill, you do remember what happened after you did that last time, right?"

"Yes. I also remember you ended up cleaning me up after."

Tom couldn't tell if that was a challenge. Or if it was innuendo. There had been nothing sexual about last time. 

And while there wasn't anything going on now. He felt trapped in how to react for some reason.

"Tom, you're staring," Bill waved his hand around in his brother's face to bring him back to Earth. "Also, you've got cake right there," he pointed vaguely in Tom's direction, too vague to be of any use.

Tom frowned. He hadn't expected that. He was still staring into space holding a forkful in mid-air. And that's when Bill shocked him again, as he lunged forward to capture the mouthful off that very fork and then laughed hysterically for doing it.

The look on Tom's face was beyond perplexed. It was priceless. And Bill was having way too much fun at his expense.

This energy had come in and swept Bill off his feet, and now he was fooling around without a care in the world. He moved over in the booth until he was sitting right beside Tom, and took another bite of his brother's dessert.

Tom finally recovered and began rubbing his forehead in laughter. His little brother was so weird sometimes. He was still captured by his crazy spunk even after spending a lifetime with the buffoon. Bill was Bill.

And Bill was coming really close to him with that fork. Tom opened up and was fed cake like a good little boy and Bill only laughed harder.

"I think it's time we eat yours as well."

"Oh no no, that's all mine!" 


The next day, after another amazing day in the studio, after all the staff had congratulated the twins on their great work, and after everyone had split up into their hotel rooms for the night, Tom and Bill had settled into their hotel room and were watching a movie together.

Happy and cozy on Tom's bed, with their legs tangled beneath the comforter, they shared a bag of over-priced candy from the room's snack bar.

"Tomi, you should take a shower. You smell a bit. No offence." 

Bill had nuzzled himself right into Tom's armpit, and suggested this ludicrous action in the middle of Tom's hollering at the television about how cars don't actually flip like that.

It was an action movie, and as we all know, one need not pay attention to understand the plot of an action movie. Of course, Bill felt no remorse if he was ruining Tom's new favorite movie with such a comment.

Tom turned his head to look down at his brother and flicked him on the forehead.

"Not my fault," he said and returned to watching the car chase.

Bill had had enough of the TV and made a show of sniffing Tom. He even sat up a bit so he could sniff Tom's neck.

"Actually you smell better now."

"Obviously. I'll take a shower before we go to bed. Your fucking fault you're smelling me though. What did you expect anyways? T'was a million degrees out today."

Bill got up and straddled Tom's thighs now, completely blocking the screen, not that he knew or cared about that, but for the next two seconds he did care about hygiene. He raised an arm and comically smelled himself.

"I don't smell."

"You always smell," Tom joked.

"Funny, Tom, coming from you."

"I wore your tight fucking pants today, little bro, give me some credit here."

"And I wore your stupid bandanna and hat. It felt like my hair was in a microwave. Pants have nothing to do with you always being gross, by the way."

"Really now? Since when am I gross, huh?"

Their conversations didn't always make sense, but they were used to constantly teasing and chiding each other.

"Since always." Bill poked out his tongue.

Tom laughed. "If I'm so gross, then take off my shirt you're wearing. It's gross, right?"

Bill quirked his eyebrow as if to say, 'is that really a challenge?'

No one challenged Bill Kaulitz and won.

Except Tom. On occasion. But that doesn't count anywhere except in Tom's book.

Bill tore the shirt off himself, almost without hesitation, and threw it across the room.

"There. No more gross Tom. Ha." He smiled brilliantly.

"Tom is still here. You're wearing his pants actually."

"Actually, these are your underwear." Bill smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. Were they flirting for real or fake still?

Something clicked in Tom's brain suddenly. Something questioning the propriety of their situation at the moment. 

It wasn't sexual at all. But it could be. So easily.

That's what had stunned him.

And for a second, Tom questioned what he wanted to do about it.

Tom zoned out, and Bill, instead of waiting for a response, started watching the movie again over his shoulder.

The elder twin raised his fingers to run the tips over his brother's belly. 

"Bill," Tom said, as a side of him he never knew took over. "Come take a shower with me."

Tom was staring at Bill's torso and the vast quantity of skin on display. His eyes had locked into Bill's nipple ring, and for the first time in his life he felt like he wanted to devour it.

"To-om? Hello?" Bill waved his hand in front of Tom's face. "Earth to Tom," he sang.

"I said--"

"--Finally. Jeez, you spaced out. What are you thinking about anyways?"

"Sorry, what? What did you say?"

"I said, Earth to Tom, you space-case." Bill smiled.

Tom frowned. "Before that."

"I said I'm wearing your underwear." Bill wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, yet as a farce. Probably. "That was a few minutes ago."

Tom blinked in succession a couple times, gathering his wits.

Thank god he hadn't actually said what had been on his mind.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," he said this time, and gently prodded Bill's hip to gesture that the younger should get up.

Bill frowned, but fell sideways nonetheless as Tom got up. "Tomi, you ok?"

"Uh-hum," Tom affirmed, but he didn't look back. Instead, he flung off the shirt he was wearing, and began shimmying out of the skinny jeans he had complained about earlier.

Bill watched him for a few moments before following him into the bathroom.

"Tom. You mean that?"

"I'm just gonna take a shower," came the reply.

Tom had dropped drawers and was stepping into the shower when Bill turned him around by grabbing his shoulder.


"You said I smell. Which I do, so I'm taking a shower," Tom repeated with a stern look. He was looking Bill in the eye this time.

The look took Bill aback. He hadn't expected Tom to be so direct. He stared into his brother's eyes a bit longer, trying to make out what Tom was actually thinking. Maybe he'd insulted him?

"You always smell good." Bill looked sheepish almost as he said the words, and dropped his eyes to rid himself of the rest of his garments as well, starting with his socks.

Tom considered thanking him for the compliment, odd as it was, it wasn't odd between the twins. After a few more seconds, he withdrew into the shower stall instead, without another word.

When Bill followed behind him, and pushed him out of the way to stretch his neck beneath the hot spray of water, Tom still didn't say anything.

He watched however.

Water ran rivers over Bill's pale skin, following and hugging every sharp line of his lean body, as Bill ran his hands through the black and white knotted locks of his hair.

It felt like Bill had read Tom's mind earlier. Tom had no words for what he was seeing.

Bill was beautiful. And Tom was speechless. For a few reasons.

How can one possibly say anything at such a time?

Did Bill know Tom was thinking about him?

If Tom didn't say anything, then he wouldn't ruin the moment.

It was a moment between brothers.

And when Bill ran his hands through his dreadfalls one last time to wring water from his hair and looked back at Tom, there was no way Tom was going to ruin this.

Tom's hands instinctively followed Bill's into Bill's long hair.

Bill wasn't breaking eye contact. In fact, he took a step closer.

What was Bill thinking?!

What was Tom thinking?

Toe to toe they stood, with the shower beating into their shoulders from the side.

Tom caressed the fine hairs at Bill's nape and finally Bill broke eye contact as he closed his eyes in pleasure.

Tom massaged his skin softly. The younger let himself be handled by his protective older brother; as Tom rubbed his fingers into Bill's temple, and neck, and shoulders.

The seconds that followed slowed to a torturous pace for Tom. The way Bill looked in his arms took his breath away.

Bill never thought about repercussions. He wanted to love and be loved. Tom knew he wouldn't feel weird, or regret, or step away.

A moment between brothers.

Even when their lips met. Ever so gently.


When Tom looked back on their moment the next morning as he lay in bed with Bill curled up beside him, he reminded himself that there was nothing sexual about what happened.

Moments such as those are sacred, and brought them closer together.

A kiss is meant for love, and he and Bill loved each other. 

Simple as that.

Several hours later, after dressing in Bill's clothing again, he made sure to spray himself with this brother's perfume as well.

"Wake up, Little Mouse," he poked at Bill's sleeping form. "Breakfast awaits."

Bill woke up to Tom's brilliant smile.


On route to a radio show after a quiet but comfortable breakfast, the twins were once again seated in Tom's bunk. They were passing an iPad back and forth, watching random YouTube videos through the same headphones.

Twin telepathy took care of the playlist.

From one recommendation to the other, they always knew what the next video should be, no need to talk about it.

They ended up watching a handful of their own music videos.

Bill was drumming his fingers on Tom's shoulder as Tom reminisced about the times they had filmed each video.

Durch den Monsoon.

"We were so young."

"We're still young."

"Yeah, but we were stupid back then."

"Tom, you're still stupid."

"Yeah, I am."

The singer turned to his big brother then, only to find a rather melancholy look on his face.

"You're not actually stupid and you know it," Bill said instead, and smiled, trying to cheer Tom up.

Tom was looking past him. In his own world of thoughts.

Back when they were young, they were both so careless about who they gave themselves to. Tom regretted it. Looking back now, he wanted to have held on to Bill tighter, been there for him more, not let themselves grow apart.

A stupid wish considering most people already believed them to be too close; and Tom knew that.

It was normal to be completely honest with Bill, so the words that flew from Tom's mouth were completely uncensored.

"I wanted to be your first kiss. I thought about it this morning. I don't know why. And I don't know which part is stupider: thinking about it, or wanting such a stupid thing."

The sudden twist in the conversation was not where Bill had expected Tom would go at all.

Bill sighed, not entirely sure how to respond. Part of him was flattered. Part of him wasn't sure what Tom meant at all and it made him uncomfortable. The last part of him decided that Tom must be thinking about last night, and he was sweeping that under the rug and calling it brotherly love.

"You were my first kiss. We kissed each other a million times as babies, and we still do."

"You know what I--"

Bill turned away though, and Tom gave up on his sentence when Bill popped out of the bunk.


What on Earth, Tom?

Tom had no idea what was coming over him lately. In Bill's clothing he felt completely naked, all the time, except when he was with Bill.

Or maybe he was even more naked with Bill.

His trademark sarcastic teasing and sultry jokes had flown the coop days ago and he felt completely out of character. Even when he tried to act the same, it didn't feel the same. He was second-guessing himself and all his actions.

He wondered what caused his steadfast, confident, and self-assured self to go on vacation, and he wondered what the cure was.

When Bill pranced back into Tom's bunk with a bottle of black nail polish and declared, "I've always wanted to paint your nails like mine," Tom let him without question.

No idea what on Earth he was thinking.

Last week, Tom Kaulitz would have murdered innocent women and children to get away from having Bill paint his nails.

Ok, maybe not that dramatic, but still, he would have put up a really good fight, and Bill would have owed him big-time before he would have ever agreed to having his nails done.

Today, he looked Bill in the eye and felt like he owed him something instead. Like Bill was doing him a favor here.

He watched Bill shake the polish bottle, then carefully dip and paint with the little brush, and concentrate in silence on getting his newest artwork perfect.

He'd seen the action done many times before.

Most of the time, he wondered when Bill would out-grow his fascination with this girly and grueling task. This time, Tom actually watched Bill (even if in those clothes he looked more like Tom), fascinated as Bill got up close to him to work.

Like a few nights ago, he zoomed in on the tongue that poked out as Bill concentrated.

Tom even held his breath a number of times as Bill handled his fingers one by one. He caught himself staring silently at the master before him, and willingly let himself be manipulated by his younger twin.

And that's the story of how Tom Kaulitz ended up getting a pretty shiny black manicure, just like Bill's; with the white French-tips and all.

When Tokio Hotel got to their scheduled radio interview, the twins praised Jesus that the interviewer was clueless enough about them to not know anything was misshapen with the four boys that showed up to the studio.

That the one with the pretty manicure and jewelry should have been the lead singer.

It was their only public appearance this week while they rented studio space away from home to work with a particularly recommended music producer.

The G's laughed the whole ride back to the hotel, and while Tom and Bill laughed along, because indeed it was funny, there was one thing on Tom's mind: Bill.

And if he was fucking up their relationship.


Chapter Text




Tom excused himself from his bandmates pretty early on in their bus ride back to the hotel, and it wasn't long before him and his tired mind fell asleep in his bunk.

Bill had spent the remainder of the ride watching the G's play video games, and when the bus pulled into the parking lot and the G's got out finally, Bill said he would stay aboard a while longer since Tom was still asleep.

And so after another couple hours of playing video games by himself, Bill wandered out into the dark bunk area to wake his brother.

He flicked the light on and pulled Tom's curtain back.

"Fuck!" Tom yelled, and covered himself up.

"Fuck, sorry!" Bill covered his eyes and slid the curtain back quickly. Whatthefuck.

He took a second to register what had just happened.

The image of Tom's hand fisted around his heavy erection was burned into the back of his eyes.

It left him disoriented in a number of ways, and his first instinct was to be angry about it.

A second later Bill flung the curtain back open again, only to see Tom with one arm flung over his face in embarrassment and the other pressing down on his dick, willing the blood volume to recede.


"God, what?!"

"Take my fucking shirt off. You can't jack off in my clothing."

Tom must have turned beet red, but before thinking about it, he tore off the t-shirt he was wearing, for indeed it belonged to Bill.

"Here. Happy?" he asked with a pointed glare.

Bill looked at the shirt in Tom's hand and back to Tom and for some reason seemed to only get angrier at the look Tom was giving him.

"No. Shit. I mean keep it on."

Tom groaned. Now wasn't the time for Bill to be playing him like this. "Make up your mind," he seethed. "Better yet, just leave." He laid the t-shirt flimsily over his hips to hide his junk.

"Ugh, you're fucking gross, Tom!" Bill's voice had gotten louder, but not loud enough that Tom's acute ears didn't hear someone get on board their bus.

"TOM?" Georg hollered. "BILL?" he yelled a second time, just behind the door to the bunks.

Tom instinctively grabbed Bill by the front and pulled him into the bunk on top of him, and in the same fluid motion slid the thick velvet curtain closed behind them.

Just in time too.

"You guys awake yet? You in here?" George asked.

Tom answered this time. "Yeah, still asleep, man." He looked directly into his twin's wide eyes as he said, "Shut up or you'll wake Bill too." 

"Oh, oops," Georg spoke much more quietly this time. "Sorry. Jost just wanted to know how much longer you guys are going to be down here, eh? He wanted me to tell you that he isn't buying you nice hotel rooms so you guys can be cramped up on the bus and then complain that he never gets you rooms."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Tell him Bill fell asleep already, and I'm comfortable too, so we'll see him in the morning."

"Alrighty then."

"Night, Geo."

"Night, Princess Tomi."

"Fuck off, motherfucker."

Georg laughed, but the twins could already hear him walking away.

They held their breaths until they heard the main bus door lock.

Bill pulled the curtain open again for more light. He didn't have time to get away however, before Tom had pulled him back down.

"What the FUCK?" the younger twin snarled, with a reproachful look.

In comparison, Tom's voice was almost hard to hear. "Bill. You really think I'm gross?"

"Are you kidding me?" Bill's anger wasn't backing down. "Pulling that shit with Georg almost walking in."

"That's why I pulled you in."

"Would have been better if you hadn't, by the way." 

"Wouldn't have had a good excuse to stay down here. You know Jost hates when we stay the night." Tom frowned.

"Who says I want to stay?" Bill tried to get up again, but Tom held on to his shirt.

Tom studied his twin's face a moment. "Look, I'm sorry."

Bill was still frowning. "M'hmm." Still displeased, but the apology had softened his resolve to leave.

"I'm sorry," Tom repeated. Almost pleaded.

"Don't wear my clothing while doing that shit. It's been a long time since I've had to wash your jizz out of stuff and I'd like to keep it that way."

Tom studied him again, and paused for a few moments before he responded. "That's not why you're angry right now."

Bill couldn't believe his ears. "You're sick, Tom. Let me go!" Instantly he started pushing at Tom again.

Tom was right however.

Bill struggled to get up as Tom pulled him down, and because Tom was stronger he managed to flip them and restrain his younger twin down with his own body.

Now Bill was bucking upwards, and trying to free his arms from where Tom was gripping them in a vice above his head.

"Calm the fuck down. I want to talk."

Bill spat at him, and bucked up again, giving it one last go at freedom.

No luck.

"Chill out, Bill."

Bill threw him a dirty look. "You're fucking nasty. Let me go."

"No. So stop being a bitch."

Bill glared daggers at him, but he'd gotten tired so he stopped fighting back.

"So what do you want to talk about? What a great wank you had? How I ruined it for you?"

Bill always had a way of cutting right to the core of things.

Tom rose up, but still straddled Bill's hips, still pinning him to the bed, ready to restrain him again should he need to.

He had wanted to talk but didn't quite know how to respond now.

"Something like that," he replied quietly, and looked down at Bill. "Don't be a prick for a second, ok? Please."

Bill sensed the change in Tom's demeanor and decided to drop the knives, figuratively.

"So? What's up then?"

"I don't know." Tom looked away, and then covered his face with his hands. "I don't know right now. I don't know."

"Do we need to talk about you jacking off? Or is this about something else?"

"I don't know." He shook his head.

Bill waited, hoping Tom would actually say more. He could tell his brother was frustrated by something, and he feared he knew what it was.

He prayed he wasn't right.

"Your nails, Bill. When I saw them on my dick, I couldn't stop," Tom nearly cried. He was digging his fists into his forehead. "I can't believe I did that."

At first Bill was completely confused. But as he let the words sink in, some form of mild understanding was dawning on Bill.

"Uh, my nails?"

"Yeah, my hands look like yours and I-- Fuck. I'm sorry. I think I'm going insane or something." 

Tom finally released his head to look back at Bill and his eyes were shining with unshed tears. The look on his face revealed how fragile he was. The most fragile and vulnerable Bill had ever seen him probably.

The young singer wondered briefly how they had ended up in this moment.

Bill was pretty sure he was putting the pieces together correctly now, and he hated the result.

"You... you were thinking of me? Is that it?"

Slowly, Tom nodded. Just slightly.

Bill kept eye contact. "Oh."

"Do you think I'm disgusting?"

Bill thought about it. His first instinct was to shout 'YES YES YES'. But the very next second he realized it wasn't true. He had feared Tom feeling this way, because he had feared he didn't feel much different. He'd just been trying to not think about it.

Tom was the thinker.

Bill was the do-er.

For all the people that called Tom a womanizing pervert, Bill was sure they'd be surprised to find out that in fact, Bill was the one that kissed first and broke up later. Tom was the one that laid everything out on the table, always knew what he was getting into with women.

Same thing here, Bill supposed.

Tom was thinking about it all, and that's something that scared Bill. This wasn't something he particularly wanted to think about.

"If you do, just don't leave me. Ok?"

"I'm not leaving, Tomi."


"Soooo..." Bill took a big breath in before continuing. "Does this have anything to do with what you told me earlier?" 

"Kind of."

"You want me to be your first kiss?"

"I wish I had done everything with you instead of other girls."

"I'm not a girl," Bill teased kindly, knowing it would make Tom smile at least a little.

"You know what I mean. I'm serious." Tom smiled despite himself.


"I don't know."

Bill stared back and tried to put it into words for Tom. Tom never knew until Bill came up with the words to describe Tom's feelings.

"You miss me?"

"A lot lately."

"You want to be closer?"


"Like last night?"

Tom hesitated this time. "Yeah."

"Not like last night?"


"Like what I caught you doing?" Bill smiled this time, and Tom's cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of pink before answering.

"...Maybe. I don't know."

"Come 'ere." 

This time, it was Bill that pulled Tom down on top of him and cradled his face in his hands. And it was that motion that made them both realize how naked Tom was.

The t-shirt Tom had used to cover himself with had slipped away long ago while they fought, and being a few centimeters away from Bill's face, made everything come flooding back for Tom.

The way Bill was touching him was driving him crazy, driving his heart rate up, as his eyes wondered over Bill's face.

He braced himself over his brother, so there was still a sliver of space between them.

Even so, Tom felt trapped.

Bill was under him, and around him, and wrapping himself tighter with each passing second.

The air they shared was clammy, and Tom found it harder to breath.

Bill was watching him, and slowly his brother's hands traveled from Tom's face and neck, down his back. Down his sides.

Tom's breath hitched.

He was getting pretty sure that this was breaching that dangerous "non-brotherly" territory he'd been thinking about lately.

Bill had him hooked, and he was touching him in ways he never thought would get him hot.

But he was, and he could tell Bill was there too.

They were joined at the hips. No one dared to move yet. Bill may have been wearing track pants, but Tom could feel him too.

His mind was racing.

Time was going slow and fast at the same time.


"Don't talk," Bill breathed back. He placed a light kiss on his twin's jaw, and another one under his ear. Kisses like those were normal for them. Could have been normal under different circumstances.

Tom felt the words travel up his spine, and they made every tiny hair along the way stand up.

He balanced on one elbow so he could caress Bill's jaw and neck with the other hand.

Bill inhaled so sharply, it sounded almost like a squeak.

Tom wanted to feel his skin. More of it.

They repositioned so Tom was now between Bill's legs and he rid Bill of his huge t-shirt in one quick movement; and when they reestablished eye contact, Tom dragged his hips against Bill's slowly and powerfully.

Bill's mouth fell open, but made no sound. The look on Bill's face looked like he was holding back a huge wave of pleasure.

Tom looked away. He wanted to feel now. If he looked at Bill, he would finish embarrassingly quickly he realized.

He ran a hand over Bill's torso, gently at first, in time with the slow rolls he made with his hips.



"Fuck, you feel amazing."

"You know what I feel like."

"This is, ah... different."

"Touch me."

Tom closed his eyes, and pressed down, rolling his cock right over where it was aligned with Bill's. The friction, though it was restricted by a pair of trousers, was delicious.

He ran his thumb over the piercing in Bill's nipple. He rolled it once between his thumb and forefinger, and actually made a strangled sound; half a moan, half a wine, deep in his throat, and then returned to face Bill.

This time, he laid his hand over his brother's neck, pushing down and away so the pale and perfect skin was fully extended and on display. He looked Bill directly in the eye when he dragged his cock slowly over Bill's and saw his immediate reaction to the pressure.

Bill's moan got stuck in his throat. The way Tom was holding him was rough, but he loved it. He could breath just fine, but the hand around his throat made every breath that much sweeter.

Never in his life did he think he would be here, being dominated by Tom like this.

But he didn't think he could live without this, now that he was here.

Tom was rolling his hips faster, harder now, and Bill did his best to meet every down with an up. 

The young singer's heart was going crazy, thumping in his chest, all the while he looked up at his big brother. He struggled to keep quiet. He didn't know how Tom would react if he were to be as loud as the last time he'd had sex. Plus, it had been a while. 

Double plus, just him and Tom like this was miles better already. 

"Tomi," he breathed. "Ah! Oh, fuck. ...Yeah."


"Make... me feel good."

Tom narrowed his eyes and dropped the hand over Bill's throat, instead grabbed a handful of Bill's thick black dreads and pulled his head aside, much to the same effect. Bill's neck was exposed again and this time, Tom sucked on his pulse point firmly.

"Oh fuck, Tom!"

Bill's breath caught, and with a really hard slam of Tom's hips into his, Bill came undone. The white hot flames that had been rising, rushed up his body and paralyzed him in a state of bliss for a few sweet seconds. 

As he came down, Tom's labored breathing had seized and Bill felt him tense and release the same pent up need. He felt Tom's release on his abdomen actually, and as they stayed close, joined in their devilish deed, Bill was surprised at how powerfully Tom had made him come.

This was so not right.

And it freaked the shit out of both of them how right it actually felt.

Bill kissed Tom's neck as they lay together. 

The time for talking wasn't here yet.


Tom was woken up early next morning by a text message.

From a girl.

Which he was interested in.

He put his phone back on the small shelf, and laid his head back down. It wasn't like he could get up without waking Bill anyway, not with him draped over his chest the way he was.

And this is where the problem of wanting Bill for himself becomes a problem.

He'd been all over chasing Cindy a few days ago. And here she was asking to meet up. And he knew what that actually meant. 


He hadn't thought about this situation at all. If Bill was any other girl, this wouldn't be an issue at all. But Bill wasn't just some other person. Bill was Bill. And even if Tom had no idea what they were doing, he had a feeling it would hurt Bill deeply if he were to see other girls at the same time. Even if this wasn't a relationship.

On the other hand, he could be scoring with an actual girl in a few hours.

Hmm. What would Bill do?

He looked down at his brother's messy hair and played with a few of his dreadfalls. Bill was adorable.

Tom remembered a time, probably the only time this current situation could be compared to, when Bill had turned down a girl for him. Tom had drank too much at an afterparty, and was being a silly drunk in the lovey-dovey way that only Bill could be; while Bill had snagged a girl into their bottleservice booth and was trying to lure her to his bedroom, in a very obvious fashion.

Bill had given up on the girl when Tom had started hanging an arm around his neck and annoyingly asking if Bill hated him, since he was ignoring him. Or so Bill said. Tom didn't actually remember.

Was this like that?

He tried to make up his mind quickly, so he could respond Yes or No to the text message, and then hopefully put everything out of his head as fast as possible.

It felt like an assault that he even had to think of these things so soon after making a pass at Bill. No time to process what it all meant. It was cruel to have to decide it all so fast.

For fuck's sake, he hadn't even decided anything last night! He was just going with the flow.

First thing, he was really happy Bill didn't think he was a total perv. Bill could have responded like most other normal brothers and told him to go fuck himself last night, and then proceed to throw him and all his belongings out a moving vehicle. That was the way most people would have responded. Tom laughed. They had always been a bit quirky. Not nearly to the extent of this past week, but still. 

Which reminded him of his second most poignant thought: No matter what, they would always be together. Even if this was a mistake, no matter how long it took to figure out. Even if by some chance Bill broke his heart, they would still be together.

Tom knew that in his heart of hearts, they could get through anything. Which is part of the reason he decided to go with the flow and not analyze this thing with Bill too much. Whatever will be, will be. He'd tell Bill when he figured it out, he supposed.

Hey sorry, this week is no good.

A text like that should be enough to break off anything between them. And if he had to decide again next week, then so be it. Next week wasn't here yet. And going by how crazily things had been developing this week, who knows where Tom would be in another week. The Moon, maybe? Only that would top this last five days.

As the message swooshed out from his phone, Bill stirred beside him, and Tom's attention was pleasantly reassigned.


"Hey," Bill smiled shyly.

"You still mad at me for last night?"

Bill's cheeks flushed hot pink, and he hid his face back into Tom's neck. A mumbled, "Oh god..." surfaced from between them.

Tom laughed. "I'll take that as a No."

He kissed Bill's hair and removed himself from the bunk to go get ready for the day.

Bill thought it was kind of Tom to keep his distance for the next half hour or so. It was only when Bill came out of the bathroom and they were both fully dressed that Tom spoke again.

"You look nice, Tom," Tom said to Bill, jokingly.

Bill blushed again and hid in Tom's wild blonde dreadlocks as he had done earlier. Tom wrapped his arms around him and they stayed close for a few moments.

"You don't have to feel weird. You know I'll love your silly ass no matter what. Don't over-think it. Ok?"

Bill finally found Tom's eyes, and giggled. "Ok."

"God, you're such a girl."

For that, Bill punched him in the arm. "Am not. I get more tail than you do."

Tom smirked and swatted him back. "We'll see about that!" he replied and ran away laughing.


The rest of the day was pleasant and easy. It was spent mainly on the way to and from a merchandise selection. It allowed the twins to not think about what they were doing, and at the same time, spend quiet time together, whispering back and forth in the back of the car.

When they all got back to the bus that night, Georg had grown suspicious of the twins' behavior that day.

Thank god it wasn't of the real reason however.

"I think they're plotting to get us back," he said.

"You're crazy, Geo," frowned Gustav from behind his cup of tea.

"No I'm not. They're totally planning something. They've been whispering shit to each other all day in the car."

"Yeah, so?"

"I bet that's what they're doing right now; putting the finishing touches on a new prank." 

He gestured emphatically towards the Whatever Room to accompany his hypothesis. 

"Dude, they're gonna get us back for this switcharoo we forced them into. Eventually I'm sure they will. And I'm sure it's gonna be worse than the shaving cream thing. I'm gonna lose an eyebrow or something this time!"

Gustav laughed.

"You might be right. But they're not gonna get me back nearly as bad as they're gonna get you."

Gustav was skeptical of whether that's really what the twins were up to, but he wasn't against fueling the hilarious fire of Georg's over-active imagination.

Poor Georg looked at him in panic.

The drummer just smiled. "You're the one that laughed at Tom's makeup," he prodded further. "Don't worry though, you'd still have gotten punched if it was Bill's makeup you'd made fun of."

Georg scowled. "Comforting thought," he replied. The words were dripping in malice and sarcasm.

"I thought it would bring you peace." Gustav smiled sweetly.

Georg gaped for a few seconds. Then fell back on a universally useful retort. 

"Go fuck yourself."

Gustav snickered.


"Tom, I don't wanna play videogames anymore."

"Oh yeah?"


Bill dropped the controller and pulled Tom's from his hands as well.

It had been a useless game anyway. They both kept crashing into things on purpose.

"I wanna do something else."

Tom's eyebrows shot up. He had a feeling he knew a little of what Bill was thinking. There was only so much they could do at this time of night, and he had a feeling Bill didn't feel like making a cup of tea or playing Scabble.

He crawled backwards to sit at the head of the bed and waited for Bill to join him.

And Bill did. He settled into Tom's side the way he had the whole of that day.

When Bill didn't say anything, Tom prompted, "Soooo... what's on your mind?"

"Uh... I think we should try kissing. Like, really kissing."

Tom grinned smugly and repositioned himself more over Bill instead of beside him. 

"Oh really?"

That adorable blush had reappeared on his brother's face now that Tom had taken charge again.

"Maybe," Bill piped as he fingered a loose thread on a nearby pillow.

Tom wasn't looking anywhere else but Bill now. He tipped Bill's chin up and kissed the tip of his nose as he smiled, then proceeded to knock the baseball cap off Bill's head with an even bigger grin. He ran a few appreciative fingers through the halo of dreadfalls around Bill's head.

"You're not gonna make this weird, are you?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," he laughed. "You're gross, Tom! Ewwww!" Tom mimicked in a high-pitched voice, and Bill swatted him on the arm. "Ew Tom! Don't jack off in my clothing!" he mocked again, and this time Bill cracked a smile as well. "Did you change your mind, Billa?"

"Maybe. Shut up. You're making it weird." Bill was happy Tom could be so aloof about everything actually. It was making his own feelings easier to deal with.

"That's my job as a big brother."

"Big brother, my ass."

Tom raised a challenging eyebrow. "I think you can officially attest to the fact that 'big' is the correct word, don't you think?"

Bill covered his face in a fit of giggles. "Ohmygod, you didn't just say that!"

It was too much fun flirting with your own brother. This must be why people shunned it.

Despite how silly this conversation was, Tom was certainly putting Bill at ease. He'd been shy about their new 'thing' all day.

"Look, I don't know what's come over me lately, but if you actually want me to kiss you, I will," said Tom. Bill was still hiding behind his hands. "Especially after last night. So I'm just saying it might start something."

"Like what?" Bill peeked up at Tom.

"I don't know. Something. Like if I wanna do it again, you think you're gonna let me kiss you again?"

"I don't know."

Tom looked him in the eye and peeled his hands away from his face, so he could settle over Bill the way he was used to doing over a girl when they made out. It was fun coaxing Bill into the same position.

Bill's heart had rushed up into his throat and was threatening to jump out; kind of the way it did last night when he realized how naked Tom was above him. Now here he was again. Well, with more clothes on, but it was still that same feeling of the inevitable. It was beginning to be really obvious they were both curious about being together, and Bill could tell Tom was just biding time now in case Bill chickened out.

Looking up at Tom was a really thrilling feeling. It had every bit of him hyper-aware and tingling in anticipation, and it didn't help that Tom was touching his face softly. Just a few fingers, caressing gently and sweetly; the way he guessed Tom probably was with girls when he wanted to make out with them.

"Is this what you're like with girls?" 

Word vomit. Oops.

"Not usually." Tom tipped Bill's chin up. "Bill..."

Tom had a malformed thought on the tip of his tongue and decided this wasn't the right time to say it. So instead he just closed the distance between them so they could end this conversation.

Tom's lips were softer than Bill expected. Even if he was no stranger to them, the way Tom kissed was gentle. Kind of like the one in the shower the other day, but longer. That one had bordered on "too much" for them. This one was definitely too much. Every kiss is different, but this was more different than other kisses they'd shared.

Bill knew they had an unusual limit of what was considered inappropriate between brothers compared to most people, and right now they seemed to be stepping over that limit not just accidentally, but intentionally.

Tom moved slowly, softly, and Bill followed, getting more and more lost in the moment, the longer it lasted. Like getting swept away. That's exactly what Bill was.

He grasped the back of Tom's head, tangling his fingers in his dreads to pull him closer, to mash their mouths together more insistently. Bill lapped at Tom's lips and the next moment he had a mouthful of Tom.

Oh god, and his legs had fallen open for Tom to rub himself between them at the same time too. Bill was getting the wits kissed out of him and he never wanted to let go. All he wanted to do was keep pawing at every part of Tom, so they could keep kissing.

Tom had never appreciated Bill's tongue stud as much as he did now. He couldn't stop swirling his tongue around Bill's to make contact with it. He wished he could live in Bill's mouth, as weird as that sounded, just so he could feel this all the time. He wasn't sure if Bill was a really good kisser, or if they just happened to kiss the same way, but they fit together perfectly. Even when Bill gasped or moaned back into Tom's mouth, it didn't throw them off. It was actually super hot getting Bill worked up like this. 

They could feel everything together. When Tom thrust against Bill's hips, a wave of pleasure would ride through their bodies until the other could feel it too. 

Just panting together was good. Bill bit his own lip as the pressure Tom was creating bordered on too much to keep kissing, and Tom bit him back into the kiss as if to say, "that's mine now".

Tom found he loved when Bill moaned into his mouth. They could break for a second and breathe the same air and still be connected. That was something he'd never enjoyed with anyone else.

"You're getting too loud. The G's are on the bus too," Tom paused to whisper into Bill's ear.

Bill just moaned again, louder. Tom's low voice, even with such a warning, couldn't deter Bill's pleasure right now. Tom could be reading the phonebook, and if he did it in that voice it would still be arousing to Bill.

"Does that make you hot?" Tom chuckled.

Bill threw his head back and pressed his hands onto Tom's ass to keep the rhythm they had built up. It was getting him there really fast. 

"Was that a message I should keep going?"

"Oh god..." Bill moaned. His neck was exposed as he bit down on his bottom lip to keep from sounding even more girly than he probably sounded right now. Tom rubbed into him deliciously and Bill writhed upwards with such need Tom couldn't deny him.

Tom covered Bill's mouth with a hand and began laying open-mouthed kisses all over Bill's neck. He loved how smooth his brother's skin was there. This was something he could definitely get used to.

Last week, if someone had told Tom Kaulitz that he'd be rubbing into his brother like this, chasing his orgasm, he'd have thought they were mental. But this was real, and the more Bill struggled to get off with him, under him, it only made it more clear in Tom's mind that this was going to be normal between them.

Last night could have been a one-time thing, a happy accident. But now, having Bill beneath him, with all the lights on, and sucking the sweet skin under his jaw, getting wrapped up in his scent and the desperate sounds he made, there was no going back now. 

"You're so fucking hot right now." Tom groaned low into Bill's ear, and Bill shrieked, before Tom kissed him hungrily again to shut him up.

The next time their lips parted was so Tom could sit up enough to unzip both their pants. Not enough to take them off, because that's too much work. Just enough to push down any underwear in the way so Tom could grasp hold of both their erect cocks.

Bill whimpered at the contact. The lip he was worrying between his teeth threatened to spill blood.


Tom lay back down to keep kissing his little brother, now that they could feel each other so intimately. The feel and pressure of it was overwhelming, and caught up to Tom too quickly.

The elder kept trying to say something while Bill kissed away any decipherable words, and Tom couldn't help but try and keep up. Even if not taking it easier would have him coming faster than he'd like.

And so Tom came first, body going rigid for a few seconds as he moaned into Bill's open mouth. Bill was right behind him; he was the one making tortured little sounds, and seeing Tom come over him, just drove him over the edge too. He reached down to wrap a hand around both of them, just to feel them together beneath his fingers.

"Ah! Too sensitive," Tom chided with a breathless smile.

Nevertheless, Bill ran a gentle hand over both of them, even after they'd both settled down, sending small aftershocks through both their bodies and languishing in the feel of their come together. He smiled up at Tom.

Tom captured his lips in another sweet kiss. Not desperate, just loving, and rolled them so Bill was on top now.

Bill smiled. He could get used to this.


Chapter Text




In the morning, the twins were a whispering, girly mess. Which only served to make Georg more suspicious that they must be plotting his doom.

He frowned as he walked by them both brushing their teeth in the small tourbus bathroom. 

The G's had spent the night on the bus last night after Jost had gotten tired of them not using their hotel rooms. He'd keep his own office, and if the boys wanted a few days on the bus, who was he to say No to saving money?

After pouring himself a generous cup of coffee, Georg sat down beside Gustav at the tourbus dining table.


"Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. Even with my impending death by Kaulitz."

Gustav laughed. "I really don't think they're plotting anything. They're probably just trading fashion secrets and neither wants anyone to know they secretly like the contractual trade they're under."

"While that is a valid argument, I'm going to prove it. And I'm going to prove it before they put one over on me."

The drummer's eyebrows knitted together in mocking disbelief. Like any of what his friend had said was even possible; the twins put together were worth three evil masterminds. No way Georch was foiling any secret plans for revenge. He nodded along sarcastically.

"You really don't believe me?"

"I think it's admirable you're defending your idea so emphatically."

"Don't give me that pompous crap. What do you think they're doing in the bathroom right now?"

"Brushing their teeth? Flossing their dreads? Who cares."

"Ha. Ha. They've been in there for twenty minutes, and the door closed right after I walked by them."

"Maybe Tom's embarrassed he likes putting on Bill's makeup. I don't know and I don't care."

"You know that's not what they're doing."

"Fine, smartass. Then prove it if you're so sure."

Georg was stumped for a second. How to prove it?

He put down this coffee and waved to Gustav to follow him. When they approached the bathroom door, Georg tried putting his ear against it to listen.

He didn't hear much with all the reverb of the bathroom fan, but he did hear a lot of shuffling, and then one of the twins whispered, "Shhhh! Shut up," while the other giggled. 

On second thought, it was probably Tom talking and Bill giggling. That made more sense.

Georg raised his index finger to his lips and beckoned Gustav over to listen also.

"Are they gone?" they both heard Bill whisper.

"Most likely. It's not like they're hanging out outside the bathroom," Tom replied.

Both the G's flew away from the door for immediate fear of getting caught. Especially after those words.

Once back at the dining table, Georg was adamant.

"You heard what they said! Who says that kind of shit if they're not hiding something?!"

"Maybe one of them is on the toilet and is suddenly very worried about you spying on him. After the past couple minutes with you, I'd be worried also." Gustav laughed at his own joke. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure they have no problem being in the bathroom with each other for that kind of thing. I've brushed my teeth at the same time as my sister sat on the toilet before. They do the same thing all the time."

"I repeat: Are. They. Gone...?"

"Ok, fine. I'll admit. It's suspect. But it still doesn't mean whatever they're hiding has anything to do with you."

Georg frowned. "You know, Gus, for someone so smart, you're making this awfully difficult for yourself. Do you have that much trouble admitting I'm probably right?"

"Oh jeez. If you're that convinced, just stick your phone under the crack of the door and film them. Then you'll know for sure."

Georg's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Ohmygod! That's brilliant!"

"Geo, I wasn't serious, you know."

"I don't care, that's a brilliant idea and I'm doing it. You're a genius!" He rushed out of his seat and Gustav followed him into the hallway for a better view. 

This was ridiculous, but if Georg got caught, Gustav wasn't about to miss it.

Georg turned on the camera app on his iPhone, started the video, and gently placed the phone just far enough under the bathroom door so that the lens could capture whatever was going on inside.

He motioned for silence again as he tip-toed back to the kitchenette with Gustav.

"Now we wait," Georg said smugly as he tee-pee'd his fingers in a manner reminiscent of pure evil. All that was missing was the "eggggsellent".

Gustav rolled his eyes. "You're unbelievable."

"Oh you'll believe me when I'm right."

"The only thing that's gonna happen is Jost tearing you a new asshole if footage of one of the twins on the shitter ever makes it online."

"Just wait. There's something going on in there."


Thirty minutes later Georg took back his phone, and with good timing too, because the twins both stumbled out of the bathroom in a disheveled mess only moments later.

Both the twins were giggling up a storm until they caught sight of Georg watching them. They quieted down, and Tom whispered something into Bill's ear. 

Bill looked decisively guilty of something. That boy had no poker face.

On the ride to the studio, the G's were sharing a pair of earbuds for Georg's iPhone and even Gustav was getting in on the action. Too bad they couldn’t say much of anything without whispering suspiciously, because the twins were in the seat right behind them.

Before starting the video recording, they both looked back at the twins to make sure they were safe for a few minutes of privacy at least.

They were good for a few minutes at least. Tom and Bill were slumped together in the back seat of the van and seemed to be dozing off. Tom had an arm around Bill's shoulders, and Bill was tucked into Tom's side, and both were oblivious to whatever the G's or David or Tobi were doing in the front.

"Ok, start it already," Gustav said excitedly, motioning to the phone in his friend's hand.

The first images were not what the two boys expected. The footage was on an angle, but it was clear that Tom was seated on the closed toilet lid and Bill was straddling him with his arms around his brother's neck. They were talking quietly to each other and the video didn't catch most of it.

The G's shared a surprised look. What went on behind closed doors was unusual indeed. Georg turned up the volume hoping to hear what the twins in the video were saying, and they continued watching in puzzlement.

When the twins started kissing, both the drummer and bassist covered their mouths in shock.

They had always known their friends were touchy-feely and close, that they even kissed or held hands from time to time, but this was on a whoooooooole other level.

The twins were making out. Like, really making out. 

And it was only getting worse. Tom had his hands tangled in Bill's hair and Bill was tipping his brother back onto the toilet tank behind, while roaming a hand beneath the elder's shirt.

The more the G's watched the more they couldn't believe their eyes. 

"Dude. What the fuck?" Georg managed to whisper.

"Shut up."

They kept watching the video.

In it, Bill had started grinding down on Tom's lap. 

"What do you want?" Bill asked on video.

Tom groaned in a way so sexual neither Georg or Gustav had ever wanted to hear. And while this was assaulting to their brains in a way no bleach could ever wash away, how does one not look at such a car crash?!

The Tom in the video whispered something in his brother's ear, and even from the diagonal angle of the video, Bill's surprise was visible. So was Tom's nibbling on Bill's earlobe. Jeez.

"Hey, only if you want," Tom said next, more audibly.

"You showered, so I think you're in luck."

After a little more kissing, Tom took both their shirts off, and the elastic in Bill's hair came loose, letting a few of his shorter dreads fall away from his ponytail. The younger twin started trailing kisses down his brother's neck as he scooted off his lap enough to fiddle with the zipper on his pants.

Tom chuckled and helped him undo the pants. "You should be used to lowering these, they are yours after all."

Bill smirked up at him, but proceeded with lowering Tom's underwear to take his dick in hand.

"Duuuuuude..." Georg tried whispering to his counterpart in crime. 

Gustav waved his hand frantically for him to shut up. This video was the craziest thing he'd seen in his entire life. This almost couldn't be real.

"Oh fuck, Bill," Tom moaned as Bill worked his hand over his brother's dick in a clearly pleasurable way.

"I'll make it better, promise," Bill said and kissed Tom again.

"Shit. You're actually gonna do it?"

"Be patient. Jeez," Bill said with a smug smile, and got off Tom's lap to kneel in front of him instead.

"He's not gonna-- Ohmygod, tell me he's not..." Georg pleaded.

"Dude, shut up. Just shut up. I can't believe this," Gustav replied.

If this were a cartoon, Georg and Gustav would have needed to re-insert their eyeballs back into their skulls, because in the next moment, the Bill on film totally just wrapped his mouth over Tom's hard dick.

Georg grabbed onto Gustav's arm painfully, to keep from screaming. "Are you sure we should keep watching this?" he asked.

"Shut up and just watch it. I wanna know how long it's been going on." 

David, who was sitting in the front passenger seat turned around to look at the two boys behind him who were obviously making a big fuss over some video. 

"What's so interesting, you two?"

They both looked up at him like they'd not only been caught in the headlights, but were facing an alien species. They looked that surprised. And then Gustav jabbed his friend hard in the ribs. 

"YouTube video. Jackass-style pranks."

David Jost raised an eyebrow. He'd been Tokio Hotel's manager long enough to know that was a blatant lie, but now he had a feeling he maybe didn't want to know about whatever that was. 

"Ahhh-huh. Ok. Well, nevermind then." 

At least it wasn't drugs. He turned back around to face the road and continue his chat with Tobi.

Back in the video, Bill seemed to be working Tom's dick like a champ. Tom was moaning so loud the G's were surprised the sound hadn't carried to the kitchen that morning. 


"I said shut up."

When the van stopped at the gas station a few minutes later, the G's looked back at the twins behind them to make sure they were actually asleep. They seemed to be, as neither had moved.

When they got back on the road, the Bill on video had stopped fooling around and teasing his brother and let Tom finally come. The G's had a front row seat to witness that Bill swallowed, not spit.

"Ohmygod. Did he just...?"

"Shut up, Georg."

The rest of the video was spent zipping Tom's pants back up, then trading a few smartass remarks back and forth, then Bill straddled Tom again, and because their retinas hadn't yet been completely burned out of their eyes, the G's were lucky enough to see Tom give Bill a fast handjob as well. Then he looked at his watch and told his brother he'd make it up to him later as they got off the toilet seat.


"I want to un-see all this," Georg remarked as the van pulled up to the studio they'd be working in today.

"Me too, except that time machines don't exist yet. If I live long enough for them to be invented, the first thing I'm doing is going back in time to un-watch this."

They could see the twins stirring behind them now that the car had stopped and Georg put the phone away.

Bill yawned.

"So what were you guys watching that was so amazing?" Tom asked.

"They were watching something?" Bill parroted while affixing the cap back onto his head.


Georg gaped at Tom, then at Bill, and back at Tom, with his mouth open like a fish, and blinking stupidly, not knowing how to adequately respond. Another jab to the ribs from Gustav and he got out of the car without answering the question.

Tom turned back to Bill, shaking his head. "You sure he wasn't dropped on his head as a child?"

Bill snickered and followed Tom and the rest of them to the studio building.


It didn't take long that day to figure out that something was up with the G's. 

Georg had had so many mood-swings before lunch time that, by the time they finally finished the session that evening, all four of the band members were ready to blow up at each other.

Georg was never one to keep his cool or think before he spoke or acted.

As the boys stepped out into the hallway, Tom held the door open for Bill and smirked playfully at him as he passed. The look was meant only for his brother.

Tom however, happened to catch Georg's reaction to it: another one of the many underhanded comments the bassist had made that day.

"Oh yeah? Why wouldn't I hold the door open for him? Am I supposed to hold it for you instead?" Tom questioned aggressively. 

Now that they no longer had to be civil in front of any sound engineers or producers, he could let his bubbling anger come forth. He'd had enough of whatever had crawled up Georg's butt today.

First Georg wouldn't talk to him or Bill at all, and then when he did, he started low-talking with childish insults. And to top it all off, Gustav kept trying to shut him up by jabbing him in the ribs constantly.

"No, that's not what I meant."

"So what is it then? Hmm, Georg? What are you so mad at me for? Cuz it's obvious you're mad about something!" 

Tom had stopped in the middle of the empty hallway, forcing the G's and Bill to stop also.

"It's not just you," Georg answered, quieter than before, now that Tom had really gone on the offensive.

Bill frowned. "What did I do?"

Georg laughed. "What didn't you do!"

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"Just shut up, Georg. We'll talk about it when we get back to the hotel. Ok?" Gustav interrupted and even tried to pull Georg away from the twins, so they could continue walking back to the van.

"No, I want to know what he's talking about. What the hell could I possibly have done to him to get him so pissed off?"

"Not to him," Gustav couldn't help but correct quietly.

Bill eyebrows knitted. "Huh?"

"Nevermind. Georg," Gustav spoke directly to him, "Let's. Go."

"You know, this obviously affects us if he's mad at us. You should just tell us what's wrong."

Gustav shook his head. "Don't worry about it. But while we're talking about it, I'm feeling about the same as he is right now. I just have better sense than to act like a toddler about it."

Georg pushed Gustav off him, as his friend had been trying to pull him in the correct walking direction. "I'm not a toddler. I can't believe you're taking it out on me."

Gustav rolled his eyes. "You're making this worse. Let's just cool down and talk about it in private. Later."

Tom couldn't take this anymore. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and your brother." Georg took a step towards him. The word 'brother' had been emphasized cruelly.

"Yeah? What about him?"

"Yeah, what did I do?" Bill chirped up, still wearing the same confused frown.

Gustav was sure Georg would crack under this kind of interrogation. He could see the bassist looking from one twin to the other, not sure which one to answer first.

"You're sick, Bill, that's what," Georg finally said.

Bill was taken aback. What on earth was Georg talking about? There was no way the G's knew about Tom and Bill's last few days of fun already. It was too early. They knew they had to hide, but they couldn't have slipped up that quickly.

"Huh?" Bill asked. He wasn't putting the pieces together.

Tom on the other hand got the message, at least part of it. The part that insulted his twin was not one he would stand for. 

He stepped up into Georg's face and nudged him slightly on the shoulder. "Don't ever. Ever. Call Bill names." Tom was not only taller than Georg, but he talked slowly that time in a way that meant he was really serious. It was definitely a threat.

"Tomi, leave him alone. I don't even know what he's talking about."

"Listen to your girlfriend, Tomi."

"Georg, I swear to god, if you don't shut up, I'm going to punch you again."

Bill managed to get between Tom and Georg and push his brother away from the altercation.

"Leave him alone. We need him for the tour next month. Plus, he obviously needs to deal with whatever crawled up is butt and died."

Just as Gustav thought it might be over, Georg ruined it all again.

"I'm perfectly fine not going anywhere with the likes of you."

Tom tried to make a go at Georg again, but Bill kept him away.

"Tom! Calm down. You didn't do anything and I didn't do anything and whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Calm down."

"Really? REALLY? You didn't do anything. Wow." Georg almost shouted sarcastically.

Bill turned to look at him. "Well, I didn't. I don't know what I possibly could have done."

"You didn't do anything? YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?" Georg was going insane and Gustav made one last grab of Georg's arm, trying to pull him away. Unfortunately, he heard the words even before they left his friend's lips.

"YOU BLEW YOUR OWN FUCKING BROTHER! That's what! What the FUCK is wrong with you?!"

Time froze in that moment. The words just hung in the air.

Time just froze. No one moved.

And then in the next second, Tom had escaped Bill's vice-grip and landed fist-first into Georg's face. In the second after that, the two were on the floor punching at each other.

Bill squeaked, terrified, petrified on the spot. It'd been almost ten years since he'd seen Tom pin another boy, beating the shit out of him.

"Don't you EVER say that kind of shit about Bill! You hear me?!" He'd landed at least a few good punches because Georg was half cowering and only half fighting back.

Gustav was the first to try and pull Tom off of Georg, and then Bill joined him, and luckily they separated the two pretty quickly. Especially since all of Georg's resolve to fight back had left as soon as Tom had landed the first punch to his jaw.

"Look, Georg and I only found out about you guys a couple hours ago. We all just need some time to deal with it. Ok? If you can hold Tom off him, I can get him calmed down about it."

Bill still looked terrified. "How on earth did you guys even find out?"

"I'll tell you later. When everyone's calmer."

Tom and Georg were still throwing cut-eye at each other, even with Georg cradling his jaw and Tom's hands being held by Bill.

That was when David burst into the hallway, and immediately he could tell something was up.

"What the hell is taking you all so long? You all feeling ok?"

A few steps closer to the group of four and it was pretty obvious Georg had just gotten the crap kicked out of him again. There was a cut on his lip and one side of his face was turning red before his very eyes.

"Tom? This is your doing I take?" David looked at the culprit, who indeed was Tom if he was talking about the beating. If he was talking about the asshole who couldn't keep his mouth shut, he should have looked at Georg instead, but that was beside the point. "What did you punch him for this time?"

The whole group was at a loss for words.

As always, Gustav knew how to deal with these things best. "Georg here decided to call Bill some nice names, and well, you know Tom."

"Hey! How come you're putting it all on me?"

Gustav pinched him in response. 

And Bill decided to answer for Tom, as Tom was still making mocking faces at Georg. "David, listen, we'll deal with this. Don't worry about it."

David rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. "You guys are ridiculous. Two times in one week? I hope to god you sort it out quickly." 

After shaking his head a few more times, he decided to let it go. "I don't know what to tell you guys. If you're all calm now, I'd like to drive back to the hotel now. You can all have rooms to chill out tonight."

"We only need two. One for me and Geo. And one for the twins."


That was the end of that conversation. No one said a word the whole drive back.


Chapter Text




The twins sat in bed rather silently after they'd checked into their hotel room only a few hours after the huge blow-up in the hallway. 

Tom was pretty sure Bill wasn't watching the movie, as he hadn't looked at the screen in at least twenty minutes. At least, that's how long Tom had stopped watching for. He'd spent the time studying the way Bill's body curled into his, molding perfectly. In his opinion.

Bill was absently playing with a button on his own shirt, on Tom's body; and felt the shudder run through his brother when his finger touched the skin beneath lightly.

"Tomi," he started, but it went nowhere. 

Tom picked up the conversation instead. "Cinderella is still your favorite fairy tale, right?" The question may have had something to do with the Disney movie playing on TV.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Do you want me to be Prince Charming?" 

Bill removed himself from Tom.

"Jeez, Tom, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know really. I just, feel like I could be. Like I might want to." Bill was looking back at him with wide eyes. "It feels good protecting you. It always has."

Bill smiled shyly and looked away from Tom's intense stare. "I bet you just like beating Georg up."

Tom grabbed his hand to make his brother look back. "I'm not talking about Georg. I don't care one bit about him. I'm talking about you."


"All those times in middle school, do you remember that?" Bill nodded, his eyes turning glassy despite himself. Tom had come home so many times with split knuckles on account of defending Bill’s honor. "I loved doing that for you, and I think I only just figured out why."

Bill bit his lip. This eyebrows knitted and asked his question for him.

"Cuz I want you for myself."

Bill looked down and Tom tugged on his arm again, dragging him closer. Look at me.

Bill couldn't. Not yet. 

Instead he looked at Tom's nails, black with white tips, the way his normally were, would have been, biting into his skin, insisting to be seen, the way Tom was.


"What, Tomi?"

"You heard me. Ok?"

"Ok." Bill was worrying that lip between his teeth dangerously.

"Jeez, don't be like that. You want me to say those things. I bet you do."

Bill peeked up to meet Tom's eyes. Only for a second. He couldn't resist.

Tom's gaze was scalding. Expecting. "So?"

"You're so sweet, Tomi. I don't know..."

Tom moved around his brother to look him in the eye from the other side. When all Bill did was purse his lips and furrow his eyebrows, Tom pushed him over. He knew how to handle Bill. And now he knew Bill didn't mind it a bit rough.

"You want me to be everything for you?"

"I don't know..." Bill was still avoiding eye contact.

"Bill. Look at me. Stop thinking about the G's. It doesn't matter. Just tell me what you want."

"It doesn't scare you that the G's know?"

"Not really. I thought about it when we were in the car. There's no one in their right minds that would break up a band as profitable as ours just over some kinky shit. So yeah, I don't care that much. Maybe it's easier this way."

"It's only easier if we actually planned on, like, being together." Bill had finally spoken some sense.

Tom smirked, and covered his brother's body with his. "Sure, it's up to you." He nudged Bill's legs apart to settle himself between them.


"Just tell me what you want."

Bill reached up for his brother's face. It seemed he'd found some courage, and Tom took that moment to lean down and kiss his neck.

"I'm putting this in your hands. I don't know what to do with myself lately. I just want to be everything you want." The words were spoken softly into the curve of his brother's neck.

"I... Tomi."

Bill ran his hands through Tom's dreads, massaging his scalp and Tom let his eyelids droop shut in pleasure.

Here in his brother's arms. That's where Tom belonged.

"I love you." The words were Utopia. They were Bill's. They traveled from his lips over Tom's heart and he could feel it breaking.

"Tell me more, Bill. Tell me something more. Anything... You know I don't care what you say. Just talk to me so I know what you're feeling."

"I love you," Bill repeated.

Tom kissed him below the ear. The skin was so smooth there. "I want you to say more. Please." On the last word, his voice broke. He was choking back tears.

"Tomi, how can I say more? I... I think I want you too, but how can I say that? You said we'd go with the flow. I can't think about you like that yet."

More kisses caressed Bill's skin. Tom's tears were mixing with them. The way a hand pressed into Bill's hip, it made him lose his breath. It was stuck in his throat. Tom couldn't put this on him so soon.

"Stop." It killed inside to say that.

Tom's mouth stopped moving. His fingers dug into Bill's skin, painfully, and he just breathed into Bill's neck. The way he'd stopped, his teeth were breaking skin on Bill's clavicle. This pain he felt, it was Tom's, seeping in through their connected bodies.

"I need to think."

Tom wasn't moving away. His tongue had peeked out to soothe sore marks, and it had Bill's eyes rolling up into his head. He felt every breath, it was making him antsy and foolish, and he forced himself not to move. 

They stayed that way. 

Tom's tears had dried on Bill's skin, that way, and they fell asleep that way that night. Hours later.


Bill had woken up too early the next morning. He'd slept terribly.

Tom had rolled away in his sleep. He wasn't curled into Bill anymore. He was curled into a pillow on the other side of the bed, and Bill's heart broke with the distance. He felt what Tom had felt last night. He needed more.

The singer threw his shirt off, and shucked off his pants from the day before and settled into his brother's back. Big spoon for his big brother. His arm draped over him and took his hand in his.

Tom moved slightly. Was he awake?

He was. But Bill only found out minutes later when Tom kissed his knuckles.


"Shhh... It's ok," the elder whispered.

Bill sighed. "But it's not... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I can wait."

"Don't wait for me. It doesn't make sense, Tomi." The words were ghosting over Tom's back like an unpleasant chill and all Tom could do to keep his heart from breaking further was to keep laying feather-light kisses to his brother's hand. He kept it securely sequestered. It would all be ok if Bill wasn't leaving. That's all. …Yet those words were on loop in his head, and from what he could feel, they were slowly constricting his throat.

Bill mashed his cheek into his twin’s back, so that when he spoke his next words, they were barely decipherable.

"I want you to be my Prince Charming." 

Tom's grip on his hand nearly crushed his bones.

"I'm just afraid."

His brother released his death-grip and laid Bill's hand over his face so Bill could feel his every breath, hot over his fingers. As if he didn't already through their connected bodies.

Bill knew he was giving off mixed signals... somewhere between what he wanted, what he was scared to want, and what was more reasonable. And it was throwing him even more off balance to have Tom be so straightforward about his feelings.

"...Why do you think you love me?"

Tom had never said he loved Bill. Not recently at least. It had been the other way around. However, it was Tom that was dragging his brother's hand over his face, until Bill's fingers ended up in his mouth and they both moaned.


Tom was laving his fingers. First one, then two. Only the tips. Then the whole digits. And when he let go, he was making love to Bill's wrist. Bill felt himself harden against Tom's back.

"God, Tom." Bill had closed his eyes. This was heaven. His fingers were once again in the velvety wet cavern of Tom's mouth. And the fact that he couldn't yet see Tom work, only feel, was so erotic. Tom had barely moved since they'd awoken.

It was still early. So early, they probably had time to fall back asleep. The sun was only now peering over the horizon. Even if they were absurdly late, Bill wouldn't have extracted himself from this situation. Tom was biting the web between his thumb and index finger and Bill exhaled as if it hurt.

He wished it had hurt more. He moaned whorishly and Tom kissed the pads of his fingers to pacify him, as if he knew. Bill couldn't take this, couldn't help the heat building in his belly. His dick was painfully hard between them, and he dug his nails into Tom's jaw as he pressed into him from behind.

Tom let him. By this point, Tom would have let him do anything. He had no idea why. But as long as Bill didn't leave him, he would take anything and everything his brother wanted to give him. Like the way Bill had found a way to lower Tom's sweatpants and boxer-briefs with one hand. He was ok with that. And the way Bill's dick had found its way between the globes of his ass.

He was more than ok with that. He was so hard and he couldn't even touch himself in this position. It was all about Bill right now. The way those breaths poured over the skin of his back, burning him, the hand smearing his own saliva over his face, and those fucking moans. It was delicious. Tom groaned.

Bill's dick was sliding right over his hole. He could feel it with every drag. Tom bit down on the hand before him and Bill shrieked.

He bit him again, teeth sinking into his brother's knuckle, and Bill panted in delight behind him. At the next chance, Bill sunk his hand, parts of it, as much as he could, fingers, roughly, heatedly, into Tom's mouth. Tom sucked on every part Bill gave him. It was a mess.

The elder moaned as two of Bill's digits sunk deep towards his throat, and he bucked back onto Bill's dick. Bill bit his shoulder briefly and suddenly retracted the hand Tom had been showering with attention for the last half hour.

The hand, wet, slippery, made its way to the place they were rutting together, leaving behind lubrication, just a bit more than the sweat they had built, so they could slide together just that bit better. Sweeter.

Bill was trembling behind him as he moved, and gave his hand back to Tom to hold. And lavish.

One last kiss and Tom couldn't take it. He grabbed onto the wrist presented to him, forcefully, and pulled Bill over his body so he lay in front of him. Winded, startled out of his pleasure and scared now, Bill looked back at his older brother. Tom was angry. Not at Bill’s actions, but perhaps at his inaction. 

"Do you want me?" Tom yanked on Bill's wrist again. Brought it up to his mouth and sucked on the sensitive skin of the underside. Right over all the arteries and veins, and seeing Tom do it made Bill mew and bite his lip. 

The look on the singer's face was desperate. There was no way in which he didn't want Tom.

Quick work was made of ridding Tom of his bottom garments altogether and when he'd settled back over Bill, he was straddling him, spitting into his hand and then rubbing it over his own hole. Making it easier for Bill to slide over it. Tom covered his body with his, leaning over Bill to take the ring of his nipple between his teeth and tug, and at the same time, held Bill's dick pressed between his ass cheeks. Bill was bucking into the friction and moaning as if they'd actually been fucking. His nails, short as they were, were surely going to leave long red scratches over Tom's ass this way.

Tom let him. And as revenge he sucked Bill's nipple into his mouth, groaning his own pleasure over it.


"Tell me," came the growl, as Tom bit the nub of flesh with the ring more harshly than he meant to, in his frenzy.

Bill mewed pathetically. "I want you now."

"And tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, you decide." Tom only bit him again, drawing more words from Bill's ragged throat. "I swear it. I do."

Whatever Tom wanted him to say, that's what he desperately wanted to be able to say as well. 

"You have to say you want me. Not that you love me. I know that much."

Tom knew when Bill was keeping something from him, no matter how it sounded out loud.

And just because Tom knew how to drag the words out of Bill, he removed Bill's hand from where is was grabbing his ass and stuck it in his mouth, for Bill to see. Have a really good view of. There was no escaping him this time.

He kept his eyes locked on his brother's as he worshiped those fingers with his tongue.

The morning was bright enough that Bill couldn't look away, even when he tried. Tom slapped him and grabbed him by the jaw. Look at me.

Bill's hand was back in Tom's mouth, and Tom alternated between digging his teeth into the bones painfully or nearly gagging himself on them, swallowing two digits down past the knuckle, making Bill moan beneath him. Saliva, that thick slippery kind that comes from the back of your throat, was running a trail down Bill's wrist.

"I love you, Tomi," Bill squeaked out between his labored breaths. This was the most erotic moment of his life.

Tom snarled and dropped Bill's hand. "Seriously, Bill, you can't say it?"

Maybe there was some other stuff Bill needed to hear first. "Tell me you love me," the younger Kaulitz cried and bit his lip right after.

Tom raised an eyebrow to look him over. Bill was somewhere between ecstasy and vulnerability.

"I love you." He leveled the accompanying glare squarely at the singer under him. There was no way those words weren't sincere. You know this.

Bill curved up to capture Tom's lips in his own. Their tongues met, wet and sloppy, full of love and lust at the same time.

The hand which had been in Tom's mouth so many times tonight, made its way between them, curled around Bill's dick to provide more lubrication, rubbed over Tom's hole too, and they both moaned into the kiss.

Tom took that wondering hand into his, took two of those wet fingers and sunk them into his own body. All the while, kissing as if his life depended on it. Bill panted back into his mouth.

The stretch over those fingers was smoother than one might expect, and yet, not smooth enough. Tom grunted. "Fuck, Bill." He tried to screw deeper onto them, despite the sting.

Hearing Tom whine like that, for he was making very vocal noises indeed, was something Bill never thought he'd ever hear. Much less be the cause of. 

The inside of Tom's body was velvety and plush like his mouth, if not as wet. And too soon, Tom was trying to take in a third finger. It was tight. Too tight. On the last strangled whine that ripped from Tom's throat, he dug his face into Bill's neck. The depraved sounds his brother was making rippled through Bill's body, and he had to pull his hand away finally. It was obvious Tom was hurting himself.

Now empty, feeling a distinct loss, Tom was still panting into his brother's ear.

"Let me get some real lube if you want this," the younger whispered.

"I... I want you to want this." He heard the hick-up in his voice, through the husky whisper he laid onto the shell of his ear, and Bill pushed him up to look into his eyes. 

His brother was a broken doll... Why? Did Bill do this? It cut him to the core to see Tom like this. 

Boner be damned.

"God Tom... what are we doing?"

"I swear I don't know," Tom was on the verge of tears again. "But you have me. You just... you got me. I'm trapped now." 

He tried his best to explain. He was trying to say that he was vulnerable and in love. And moving too fast.

"You're not thinking like you usually do. I can see it."

Tom frowned at Bill's searching eyes. 

"Yeah, so?"

"Don't give me that. I'll always care, I'll always love you before anything else. I think you're infatuated though."

Tom's look could cut. "I am. What of it? Do you not want to be here with me?"

"I want to be everywhere with you. Don't look so hurt. I want to be with you too. I just..."

Tom's eyes narrowed further. "Just what?" The words were cold. Balanced on a knife's edge between being hurt and trying to hurt.

"I'll want you tomorrow this way, but next month, I honestly don't know. Can you live with that?"

Tom rolled his eyes. "Yes, you prick. I thought I'd said that much myself."

Bill raised an eyebrow, but unlike his usual smirk, this was not seduction. "Are you sure?"

No, Tom wasn't sure. And he'd said nothing of the sort. He’d been flipping between not caring for reciprocation and wanting it desperately.

"Do you want me to walk away, Bill, tell you I'll love you forever, and go on as normal? Like before, I mean. Huh?"

Bill bit his lip.

"So what do you want then?"

"I want whatever you want. I always have. I always will," Bill said. He couldn’t make himself clearer. 

But Tom obviously wanted more than a fling. 

Maybe for once Bill was thinking about more than one night, and he didn't want to hurt his brother. However, they'd both proved themselves to be unpredictable. So maybe Tom was right and they should be together. That this really would and could be something more and he shouldn't sabotage it before it began. And he should just trust Tom the way he had his entire life.

Tom looked at him darkly. The fire in his eyes was blazing. "Then make this last forever. That's how I want right now."

And he leaned down to kiss Bill hungrily, roughly.

Fuck it. Bill wanted this.

"Ok... let me... one sec..." Bill pushed Tom away before they could get worked up again, and ran to the bathroom.

Tom sighed.

"It's in the second drawer! I saw it fall in the back!" he yelled through the wall, and they were effective instructions.

Bill's amusement was plastered on his face as he crawled back into bed a minute later. He had the KY in his hand and was smirking at Tom. The mood had changed. It was light again.

"I want you. You make me hot. Do you want me in you?" Bill breathed into his brother's mouth, settling over him. A smile was in their kiss, on both of their lips.

Tom raised his brows. That's all it took? Was getting the lube? "You're a fucking prick, you know that?"

"Shut up, Tom. I'm trying to spare your feelings. If you wanna be like this, you know I'll plow you," he said, but he was laughing.

Yeah, they would be fine. They always had a way of understanding each other.

Like when Tom spread his legs and asked for Bill. That meant it didn't matter how or why or when. Only with whom. And if Bill was there today, he would be there tomorrow and next month, and the year after that. Forever. And it didn't really matter how or why or when. Because they were constant in each other's lives. They always figured it out.

So Tom loved more deeply tonight. Tomorrow, the tables would flip, and Bill would be under Tom, mewing and struggling to breathe through his pleasure. 

Their panting echoed in the otherwise silent room, lips joined, fingers twined. Tom's virginity was taken by Bill. Well, that kind anyway, and Bill was really his first this time. Just the way Tom wanted.


When the twins saw the G's a couple hours later, in the late morning, yesterday felt like a year ago.

Georg looked at a loss for words, but he was much calmer, and this feeling settled over their whole group. The four boys made their way down to breakfast in silence. They caught the last of the buffet before it was packed up by the staff, and sat around their respective plates awkwardly thereafter.

Instead of speaking just yet, they nursed their food cautiously, while David watched curiously from only a table away.

The manager raised a hand into his hair. Those boys would be the death of him. At least it wasn't drugs. He hoped. With a roll of his eyes, he went over and instructed that they only had an hour until they had to be on the bus, so please "deal with this moody teenage business, whatever it was, sooner rather than later." And that he'd see them in an hour. Then he walked away, munching on the last of his bagel.

Bill wasn't paying attention.

When Tom had bitten his lip so hard that morning, that he drew blood, Bill licked it away for him. Now, there was a small cut next to his lip-ring that only Bill could see, and he couldn't look away.

"Maybe you can do us a favor and stop fucking him with your eyes."

Bill reluctantly broke eye contact with that lip he so desperately wanted to taste again, and threw cut-eye at Georg for such words.

His twin’s words accompanied the look. "I thought you guys were spending the night to get over it."

Georg rubbed his face in frustration and resignation. The night had indeed done him well. "I was asking politely that time. Please, like, try to make it less obvious."

"Keep your mouth shut about us and we will," Tom declared sternly.


"What? So they know. I said I don't care."


"Georg can be a good boy and shut up. Right, Georg?"

Gustav was raising an eyebrow in the background; it went higher the more Tom spoke so fiercely.

Georg frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Yes, dimwit, I won't out you."

"And you won't shout absurdities at the top of your lungs the way you did yesterday?"

Georg reluctantly agreed.

"And you won't call Bill names. Ever again. You hear me?"

"I won't. I'll try not to. But I find this hard to believe that you're trying to command everything this way when you're the guilty ones."

"I just think we both know what's gonna happen and I don't really need to say it."

"And what's that?"

"You're not that thick. I already told you what. You'll get over it, because there's no other choice. No matter if we're guilty of nothing or everything. And I hope it won't ruin our friendship." His words were terse and very matter-of-fact.

Georg was blinking rather obtusely back at the older Kaulitz. Tom had some balls.

"Because the alternative, that I somehow split up with Bill, is not happening. Not even when hell freezes over. So you have no choice here."

"Hey, be nice, Tomi. I'm sorry they found out."

"I'm not. I don't have to hide now. Imagine if we had to hide, Bill?"

Bill rolled his eyes. "We have to hide anyway."

Gustav's curiosity finally got the best of him, and he had to speak up. "Hey uh, so how long have you two been shacking up?"

Bill froze, not sure he wanted to divulge such information so readily. Tom on the other hand, declared almost flippantly that it'd been about a week.

The G's eyebrows flew into their hairlines simultaneously. "Really? Only? Shit. This didn't have anything to do with the contracts, did it?"

Bill once again bit his lip and let Tom answer. "Don't know, don't care." 

The younger Kaulitz rolled his eyes. Perhaps if he spoke up, he could give their friends better answers. But then Tom took his hand, under the table, and squeezed it in that way they did only for each other. And so Bill let Tom say and do anything he wanted.

Georg and Gustav exchanged looks.

"Don't make us fork our eyes out and we're fine with it." Especially since they were getting the uneasy feeling their little game had contributed to the circumstances.

"And by the way, it's your last day in each other's clothing. Hope that doesn't dampen your sex drive."


"Oh fuck, Bill. Oh fuck! Oh god..."

Tom was mewling and panting on the end of Bill's cock again. And the G's were only down the hall of the tourbus, surely hearing at least some of their obscene moaning and language.

It made Bill hot to know it, and he thrust deeper into his brother, making him cry out anew.

Tom reached up for Bill's mouth and kissed him sloppily. Breathed the same clammy air as him, more than actually kissing.

It was their second time today, as they really couldn't keep their hands off each other it seemed. Tom hadn't even removed his tight little t-shirt which belonged to Bill, and now it was sticking to him with sweat. He really couldn't help it though. There was some sick pleasure in knowing that others knew you were fucking. Especially when you were fucking your brother.

"Tomi... you glad you get to go back to your own clothes tomorrow?" Bill made conversation while leveling a few really good thrusts to Tom's prostate.

"Oh fuck... you are so good."


"I'm so close."

"So are you glad?"

"Yes yes, it's so much fucking easier to take my own pants off than yours. I can't wait."

"But you'll still take my pants off me, right?"

"Oh fuck, yes. Slow down... Bill."

Bill snickered but did as he was told.

"You minx," Tom berated with a smile, and breathed just a little easier. This slower pace had saved him from the brink, for now. He wanted to make this last more. Found he loved the feel of Bill over him, sliding inside him. Couldn't wait to do the same to him. Especially since he knew Bill loved being a bottom. "I'll take your pants off, no matter whose they are, anywhere, anytime you please."

Bill put a hand to his face warmly and flipped them so Tom could ride him. At whatever pace he liked.

Oh god, this was too much. He would be the undoing of himself. Bill's dick sunk so much deeper this way.

Tom chose a lazy slow pace. He couldn't go faster if he tried. His insides burned and coiled with every lift and sit back down, building pressure. Tom could feel it. Grinding right over that sensitive spot deep within. He could see why Bill loved bottoming. It made you feel like a slut, and in Bill's arms, he was totally ok with that.

Bill pulled him down, petting his face and clutching onto his neck. A hand trailed lower and Tom caught it in his. "Don't. I'll come if you touch me. I'm not used to this yet." He brought the hand to his mouth and kissed it instead.

Every slow drag was more delicious than the last. Especially with Tom nipping at his fingers like that. That's what had got them in this mess in the first place. Seeing Tom so debauched, so his, so uninhibited, the way he knew he was with no one else, made Bill love him all the more. And it made him hot too. The sight was too sexy not to be arousing. The way Tom alternated between licking and sucking and kissing and biting --which sometimes hurt, with the way his teeth sunk into his flesh--, but then Bill would slam his hips upwards just a bit harder than Tom expected and he felt so much better to see him winded that way. Completely exasperated and contorting in pleasure, tingling from his actions that way.

Bill hooked his fingers into the inside of Tom's cheek and brought it down closer to his face. Tom let him. It was amazing how Tom seemed to let him do anything he liked in bed.

"Tomi, you're killing me softly here. You have to speed up."

Tom moaned and licked at the fingers in his mouth.

"Tom, you hear me?"

"No. I fucking love this."

Bill smirked. "Hey," he prompted, so Tom would look at him. He could always tell when Bill wanted attention. "I want you. You know that?"

Tom closed his eyes to just feel. "M'mmm..."

"Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Tom only moaned in response and impaled himself more roughly on Bill's dick. It made Bill bite his lip and sigh.

"God, I want you so much. I'll want you tomorrow. And next month and next year probably if you ride me like this. I'll never be tired of you... You should see how beautiful you look right now..."

Tom finally looked down at him. 

"...Your lips are so red right now, it's so sexy. It's almost like you're wearing my lipstick."

It was only for a second though. Tom climaxed then. Spasming over Bill's dick, shuddering in silence as his mouth dropped open so Bill could grab him and kiss him through it. It was amazing kissing through an orgasm. By the time Tom's tongue had caught up, he'd released all over Bill's stomach and neither had even touched him.

"Oh fuck, Tom, really?" He stilled over Bill, draped over his torso, breathing deeply.

"I told you. I came in like three minutes last time too."

"It was longer."

"I told you," Tom repeated. "Now tell me you want me again. I don't think I could ever get tired of that."

Bill rolled them so he was seated between Tom's legs, Tom sated and waiting beneath him.

Instead of bestowing any more compliments in that moment, Bill chose to devour Tom's mouth in a heated kiss. He was far from coming, though still hard within his partner, and that mouth of Tom's was the epitome of sin. He hadn't yet gotten used to kissing his brother like this, much less fucking him. Maybe Tom was right, and they needed to move slower.

Maybe Tom was a fucking liar, because it was Bill who had warned they should slow down first.

Maybe it didn't matter, because Tom was not a virgin kisser. His tongue always knew how to fit in Bill's mouth, and it swirled around his, in a way that made both their toes curl. Tom was trying to taste that metal bolt through Bill's tongue. After so many years of seeing it, just an inch too far, he'd been infatuated with it since before he even knew it. Now he got to experience it for himself and it was heavenly.

Tom was petting down his side, kneading a palm into Bill's back, and tangling his fingers in his loose monochrome dreadfalls. 

"This is love. I'm sure of it."

The younger Kaulitz smirked. "I'm sure I'll feel it too, right after I come as good as you just did."


Bill reached down for Tom, they'd neglected that part of him, and at this point, Bill wanted to get off. As quickly as possible. And if he could get Tom off again too, all the better.

He would put all the effort necessary into it. And it starts with pumping Tom back to hardness. Then kissing his neck, breathing low into his ear about how he's not going to take it easy this time. Until Tom moans under him, and says he'll get him back soon enough. And then they're kissing again, and Bill is moving within him again. As if he hadn't left. And he hadn't.

"I'm a bit sore, just saying, but oh god, fuck me hard anyway, I can take it."

That's good to know, because Bill does just that. Proves once again he really has what it takes to top as well, and not just because Tom is a newb as a bottom, but because he's got them both panting and moaning on the brink of ecstasy in zero to sixty. And they're both swearing up a storm as Bill fists Tom in time with well-placed and deep trusts, that build that tension only further, only sweeter until their demise.

They collapse together, only to kiss and draw circle patterns with their fingers through their own come. And Bill can't help but enter one finger into Tom after he slides out, oh so sated, and bring that finger to his own mouth to suck as his brother watches. 

They spend time talking, giggling, touching. They could spend eternity this way. It's not so very different from how they used to be. There's just something more that's been added now. Something that makes being apart insufferable. So they decide they won't ever be. Whether they say it out loud now, or next month, or next year. It doesn't matter. They know it already.

They knew it from the first glances. From their first kiss, and not the one they shared this week.

This is love.

"So, changed your mind?"

"Yes. Maybe. Don't make a big deal out of it."

"Already?" Tom laughed. "Wow. Should have done this sooner."

"I bloody think this is soon enough." Bill pursed his lips sarcastically and swatted at Tom's shoulder.

By the time they climb out of bed that evening, the bus is halfway to their destination, and they're in desperate need of a shower. They each throw on a pair of Tom's shorts, just to make it to the bathroom, and then end up in that tiny shower stall together. And the G's can indeed hear them this time, even over the water, because the bathroom is just by the head of Georg's bunk, and the twins take pleasure in every minute of it; as Tom fits into Bill this time, and Bill leaves a number of nail-marks over Tom's back. Bill's clutching at and being rammed into the tile wall and he loves it. And the one he’s with. 

This is love. He’s sure of it now.

The next day they couldn’t care less whose clothing it is they put on. Better to not put on any.