Dick entirely blames Jason for them getting into this situation. Jason, who just had to get smart with their mark leading to them figuring out that the two might not be being completely honestly in their intentions on being on the planet. Which led to the current situation of both he and Jason being dragged in chains to be sold as property on a foreign planet.
God Dick hopes Kori and Roy find the distress message he sent before the blasters were pulled on them. Hopes they still remember what the signal means.
“You’re kind is rare in these parts,” says guard number 2, and Dick leans away from the way he leers at them. “You will go for a high price.”
“I swear I’m going to kill you as soon as I get out of these,” Jason replies. And it’s all his fault when the guards tug on the chains making them stumble as they walk.
“Jason, shut up,” Dick snaps because they are not in the position to be making threats. Especially when he can see all the guards equipped with electric-whips and he does not want to know what they feel like on him.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to play along with this?”
“Do you trust your team?” Dick asks because even after the time since they parted ways he still trusts Roy and Kori implicitly. He sees no reason for Jason, who is their current teammate, not to. “Then shut up.”
An alien rushes over to their group and whispers something to guard number 1. The new alien looks scrawny compared to the guards form and Dick figures he must be one of the bureaucrats running this nightmare.
Once he’s finished whatever it is he’s saying he rushes off again to go do seedy bureaucratic stuff as the guards all convey the information between them. Guard number 2 laughs at it which is unlikely a good sign.
“I was right that you would be highly prized – someone has already given an offer for you high enough to forgo the auction.”
The chains are tugged at again and they’re forced to change directions towards the along the side of the yard instead of the main auction grounds.
The whole time they’re being led there all Dick can think is that he hopes Kori and Roy received his message and that they’re the buyer who has taken an immediately interest in them.
Just – please be Kori.
Please be Kori.
When they get shoved into the office where another of the bureaucrats are Dick realises it is not Kori who had taken interest in them, but some tentacly-looking alien.
“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jason says.
“As you can see they are not trained,” asshole bureaucrat number 2 says to the… undulating tentacle form appraising them on the other side of the tiny office space. “But we can organise that for you before exchange if you wish.”
“That won’t be a problem,” the tentacle-alien says because of course they can speak actual words and not just communicate through weird tentacle vibrations. “I look forward to breaking them in myself.”
Two tentacles come out to almost gently run along their cheeks and Dick barely restrains the urge to gag at the slimy residue that trails when it does. Jason apparently elects to try and bite his tentacle, not that Dick can think of any reason to actually want to have it in his mouth, which earns him a slap.
“Ow you fucking-“ Jason goes to lunge but the chains catch him before he can get across the room to anyone.
The tentacly-alien just laughs and then more of his tentacly-limbs come to envelop Jason and Dick did not plan on his weekend to go like this. His weekend was supposed to be catching up on the shows he missed while busy with his job and night-time hobby. Not becoming the stare of some really weird porn.
There’s the sound of an argument approaching the door and then it being basically forced open and Dick has never been more glad to see Kori in his life. Including the time he nearly married her.
Kori looks the kind of murderous that more often than not actually ends in murder and Roy is trailing behind her looking not particularly happy himself.
“I’m sorry,” a third of the bureaucrat aliens, the being apparently arguing with them, says to bureaucrat number 2 and Mr tentacles. “She insisted.”
“Of course I insisted, you’re lucky you’re still alive,” Kori sneers at the man and Dick fully believes her true.
“What the princess is trying to say,” Roy chimes in, apparently still trying to keep with their cover story of Kori just being a visiting diplomat and not here for the sole purpose of shutting the whole thing down for good, “is that she finds it very distressing that her… uh property? be taken from behind her back.”
“They’re yours?” bureaucrat number 2 asks, and tentacles finally releases Jason. Dick sees Jason relax at it for a moment before tensing because despite Kori being here and that a major relief, they’re not actually out of it yet.
“Of course they’re mine.” It really isn’t the time but Dick feels his heart flutter at Kori still calling him hers.
“Look I’m sure this is all some big misunderstanding,” Roy says, playing up his ‘useless assistant’ persona. “But if you could please release Dic- ah- them back to us that would be much appreciated.”
“Of- of course,” bureaucrat number 2 says because really what other choice does he have when Kori is glaring at him like she is. “Release them.”
“I’m very sorry,” the bureaucrat says to tentacles as the guards work on undoing the chains on Dick and Jason. And at least now if things turn they will be able to move to defend themselves. “Maybe we can work something else out.”
The tentacle being does something that Dick assumes is a glare going by how the bureaucrat stutters another apology before gesturing to Kori as if that excused everything. The fact that Kori’s glare tightens and Dick can see her starting to power-up a starburst means it’s probably is an acceptable excuse. Tentacle relents and, in apparent fear of Kori’s wrath, everyone apart from their team leave the room to organise whatever it is that will be done about the disappointment.
“Are you both alright?” Kori asks as soon as the door is closed.
“Thanks to you,” Dick says because he is very aware at how badly the whole situation could have gone if she hadn’t of shown up when she did.
“What did you do to piss off Mr stinky and tentacly?” Roy ask. “He was leaking all over the place.”
“I don’t think he was pissed off,” Jason says in response as he shakes goo from himself.
“Oh- ew.” Roy’s nose curls up at the realisation.
“Yeah,” Jason says, “can we please go back to my original suggestion.”
Which was simply: kill everyone in charge and burn the place to the ground.
“I’m all for it,” Roy says putting his hand up as if it’s a vote. “Princess?”
“No,” Kori says and Dick knows how hard it must be for her to just kill every slaver and buyer in this place. “We find their connections first so we can shut down the whole chain.”
“Right, well how are we getting their records with our covers being blown,” Jason asks, gesturing between himself and Dick. Because that had been their job – find the records while Kori and Roy kept everyone too distracted with their ‘visit’.
“We’ll figure that out,” Roy says with a shrug. “For now you need a shower Jaybird. I have been in literal sewers and yet somehow you smell so much worse.”