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[12:56 am]
Lucy added ItsSkullyBitch to the group chat

[3:26 am]
Lockwood: George...
Lockwood: why is the skull in my bed?
Lockwood: ...
Lockwood: get ur fireable ass in the chat
George: what?
George: i was on a donut run
Lucy: George...
Lucy: it’s 3 am
Lucy: wHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING DONUTS?!?!?
George: bc i was hungry?
Lucy: 😑
Kipps: shut up
Kipps: it’s too late for this shit
Lockwood: are we just ignoring me now?
George: its never too late for donuts.
Lucy: early, George
Lucy: EARLY
George: whatever
Lockwood: wow ok
Lockwood: you know im your boss, right?
Kipps: pf not mine
Lucy: oH SHIT
George: HE PULLED THE BOSS CARD
George: iM s O sC a Re D
Lockwood: thats it both your biscuit privileges are revoked
George: F U C K
Lockwood: *and donut
George: nO
George: YOU WOULDNT
Lockwood: lUCY YOURE FORGIVEN
George: w H A T
George: WHY
Lockwood: SHE JUST WALKED PAST AND
Lockwood: DID YOU SEE HER PJS
Lockwood: THEYR BLUE
Lockwood: I’m actually cryinh
Lockwood: sHES SO PRTETY
Kipps: lmao
Kipps: ur so whipped
Lockwood: AND GHE CUT OF THE NECKLINE
Lockwood: i have a new background
Lockwood: how soon can I get a picture printed in poster size?
Holly: She’s blushing so hard.
Lucy: werent we talking about the skull?
Lucy: lets do that some more.
Lockwood: tHATS RIGHT
Lockwood: GEORGE
Lockwood: get back here
George: yes, my strong, courageous leader?
Lockwood: the time for sucking up has long passed
Lockwood: wHY IS THE SKULL IN MY BED
George: ummm,,,
Lockwood: I’m waiting...
George: well you see...
George: I got bored
George: and was in your bed for... reasons
Lockwood: wHAT REASONS?
George: reasons...
Lockwood: tELL ME
Kipps: yes george, do tell
George: testing the effectiveness of a pillow as an ectoplasm shield
Holly: What about your own pillows?
George: they have...um...factors that may have interfered with the experiment
Lockwood: if any of my pillows have ectoplasm stains I will kill you.
George: no no it’s fine
George: the ghost was uncooperative
Lockwood: fine, then what happened?
George: well
George: then your bed was so soft...
George: and I may have, maybe,,,
George: fallen asleep?
George: and forgotten about the skull when I woke up
Lockwood: well now im in bed and there is an OLD, MOLDY SKULL IN MY SHEETS
Lockwood: and an EVIL GHOST LEERING AT ME
Lockwood: Lucy im bringing it to your room
Lucy: ok
Kipps: oooh
Kipps: want to see those sexy pjs again?
Lockwood: wHAT
Lockwood: no
Lockwood: definitely not
Holly: Guys, please go to sleep. We have an important client coming over tomorrow and have to look respectable and not sleep deprived.
Kipps: ur not the boss of me
Lucy: ur not the boss of me
ItsSkullyBitch ur not the boss of me
Lockwood: WHO IS THAT
Lockwood: HOW DID YOU GET ON HERE
ItsSkullyBitch pf scroll up
Lockwood: Lucy...
Lockwood: WHAT DID YOU DO
Lucy: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING
Lucy: IT WASNT ME I SWEAR
Lucy: LOOK AT THE TIME STAMP I WAS ON THE CASE WITH YOU
Lucy: I LEFT MY PHONE IN MY ROOM NEXT TO THE SKULL
Lucy: oH
Lucy: OH NO

Chapter Text

[3:57 am]
ItsSkullyBitch: the real question is how did you not notice that?
Lockwood: well I was a bit preoccupied with an EVIL OLD MOLDY SKULL IN MY BED
ItsSkullyBitch: HEY!
ItsSkullyBitch: WHO YOU CALLING OLD AND MOLDY?!?
George: lucy how the fuck is it doing that?
Lucy: sOMEHOW IT GOT A PHONE
Lucy: AND A STYLUS???
Lucy: THEYR JUST FLOATING IN THE AIR
Lucy: AND IT KEEPS MOVING THEM SO I CANT STOP IT
ItsSkullyBitch: LMFAO THIS IS HILARIOUS
ItsSkullyBitch: shes jumping all around the room this is great
ItsSkullyBitch: its like having my own personal dog
Lucy: I AM NOT A DOG
ItsSkullyBitch: a yappy little chihuahua
Lockwood: eXCUSE ME
Lockwood: Lucy would NOT be a chihuahua
Lockwood: she would be an adorable Pomeranian or a gorgeous Siberian Husky
Lockwood: or maybe a rare combination of the two...
Lockwood: a Pomsky
Kipps: pf that’s not a thing
Lockwood: yES IT IS
Lockwood: LOOK IT UP
Lockwood: I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT
Lucy: holy shit it is
Lucy: theyr adorable omg
Lucy:




Holly: Awww
Kipps: whatever, she’d probably be more of a rottweiler
Kipps: but I could definitely see her as a chihuahua
Lucy: HEY!
George: definitely more rottweiler
Lockwood: gUYS we’re getting off topic
Lockwood: how the fuck did the skull get a phone?
ItsSkullyBitch: ways
Lucy: WHAT WAYS
ItsSkullyBitch: ways.
Lucy: TELL ME OR ITS BACK IN A JAR FOR YOU
ItsSkullyBitch: pf i dont care
Lucy: i think you do.
ItsSkullyBitch: fine i took it from some woman walking by the house
ItsSkullyBitch: it was easy, i just plucked it out of her pocket
ItsSkullyBitch: she was too busy rushing home before it got dark to notice
ItsSkullyBitch: then used the stylus on lucy's phone and added myself to the chat
Holly: You have to give it back! That’s stealing!
ItsSkullyBitch: hmmmm
ItsSkullyBitch: let me think about that
ItsSkullyBitch: how about
ItsSkullyBitch: NO
Lucy: DO IT OR I PUT YOU IN A JAR AND BURY YOU SO DEEP IN THE GROUND NO ONE WILL EVER FIND YOU
ItsSkullyBitch: pf no you wont
ItsSkullyBitch: youve been threatening that for years
ItsSkullyBitch: we’re friends, you and I
ItsSkullyBitch: you wouldnt do that to me
Lucy: bet.
Lockwood: Lucy, it’s fine
Lockwood: we can find this woman and get her a new phone
George: yeah, this is great!
George: we can actually communicate with it without having lucy relate everything to us
Lucy: fine.
Holly: I guess that’s ok...
Kipps: how is this ok?
Kipps: A MALICIOUS GHOST HAS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET AND YOU THINK THIS IS FINE??????
Kipps: I hate to think what it will do with reddit
Lucy: wAIT
Lucy: HOWD YOU KNOW MY PASSWORD
ItsSkullyBitch: pf
ItsSkullyBitch: it was easy
ItsSkullyBitch: "lockyle"?
ItsSkullyBitch: really?
Holly: We can discuss this more tomorrow. We still have a busy day tomorrow. What harm can it do in four hours? Which is how long we have to sleep, I might add. You have a meeting with Mrs. Porter at nine so be awake at eight at the latest.
Lockwood: yes, Holly's right
Lockwood: everyone to bed
Lockwood: now
ItsSkullyBitch: nO
Lockwood: well I don’t care what you do
ItsSkullyBitch: w O W
ItsSkullyBitch: i have done so much for this sorry company
ItsSkullyBitch: aND WHAT THANKS DO I GET?

[4:18 am]
ItsSkullyBitch: hello?
ItsSkullyBitch: anyone?
ItsSkullyBitch: welp time to explore the reddit

[5:43 am]
Flo: what the fuck did I miss?

Chapter Text

[8:25 am]
Holly: George, if you're not down here in 5 minutes I'm siccing Lucy on you.
Holly: Mrs. Porter gets here in half an hour and you know how you get without your morning donut.
Lucy: I am not your dog, Holly
Lucy: but George I will fuck you up if you aren't presentable by 9
Lucy: and let me warn you, Lockwood is a kinky lil shit
Lockwood: LUCY
Lockwood: YOU PROMISED
Lockwood: I NEED THEM TO RESPECT ME
Kipps: i havent respected you since i found you crying watching the notebook
Lucy: since I found your tinkerbell boxers
ItsSkullyBitch: since you left me on your dresser and I had to watch you do polka renditions of Ke$ha songs in the mirror for an hour
Holly: Since I found your secret Lucy shrine while dusting
George: since you put on that pink wig for our sixth case together
Lucy: your secret what?
Lockwood: oH look George is awake!
Lockwood: let's talk about that
Holly: George you better be down here in two minutes in clothes without stains.
Holly: This is an important case and we need to make a good impression.
Holly: And we need to have this conversation about the skull.
ItsSkullyBitch: who, little old me?
ItsSkullyBitch: im not getting into any trouble
Lucy: pf yeah thats why I got a call from someone called "Butcher Bones" asking about "the lolly" at 6 am
ItsSkullyBitch: yolo
Flo: no relation
Holly: What?
Flo: what, just because we have similar names we have to know each other?  ahaha
Kipps: literally no one was thinking that but now I'm suspicious
Lockwood: ah, Flo!
Lockwood: good, I'm glad you're online
Lockwood: if you could swing by around noon, we might need your help on this case
Flo: you best have licorice locky
Lockwood: always
Holly: Those cushions better be properly fluffed by the time I come in there with the refreshments.
Lockwood: shit!
Holly: And don't think I haven't noticed your lack of appearance George.
George: im coming im coming
George: dont get ur knickers in a twist
Lucy: George why is there straw in your hair?
Lockwood: and mud on your cheek?
Flo: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Lockwood: *sigh*
Lockwood: go clean up
Kipps: and make sure to brush your teeth your breath smells like black licorice
Lockwood: and don't think I forgot about your loss of donut privileges
George: F U C K
Holly: Everyone get off your phones and meet me in the living room!  She gets here in three minutes!
ItsSkullyBitch: ok
Lucy: NOT YOU
Lucy: IF YOU DO THE FLOATING CANDLESTICK TRICK IN FRONT OF ANOTHER CLIENT I WILL CASTRATE YOU
ItsSkullyBitch: pf good luck with that
ItsSkullyBitch: did you forget the whole not alive thing?
Lucy: you forget I have the number of a certain Butcher Bones who says you owe him for the frame job
ItsSkullyBitch: fucking fine
Holly: Phones away!  The doorbell just rang!

[10:12 am]
Lockwood: well that was an overwhelming success
Lucy: the skull nearly stabbed her with a steak knife!
Lockwood: yeah, but she didn't notice
Holly: George spent half the time stuffing his face with cake and the other half talking with his mouth full!
Lockwood: Is that really new though?
George: you and kipps got into a literal slap fight over who got to ask her a question first!
Lockwood: he was acting like a bitch ass poser
Kipps: you spent the first five minutes gaping at Lucy and muttering something about how her dress brought out her ears
Lucy: what does that even mean?
Lockwood: she still gave us the case
Lockwood: like I said, overwhelming success
Kipps: whatever.
Lucy: can we talk about the skull now?
George: what's there to talk about?
George: we have two-way communication with a type-three!  this is great news
Kipps: maybe the fact that it DMed me vine compilations all night and apparently already pissed off someone named Butcher Bones who may or may not be related to flo
Flo: i already told you we weren't cousins!
Kipps: 🤔
Lockwood: its probably fine
Lockwood: I mean whats the worst it could do?
Holly: Hack into your bank account and spend all our money.
Kipps: get us all murdered by flo's cousin
Flo: HES NOT MY COUSIN
George: try to recreate Poltergeist
Lockwood: OK OK STOP!  YOURE GIVING IT IDEAS!!!!
Lucy: find your tumblr
Lockwood: ahaha wgat tumblr?
Lockwood: I dont havr a tumblr
Lockwood: whats tumblr?
Lockwood: shouldn't we be getting ready for the case?
Kipps: you're not smooth tony
Lockwood: shut up!
Lockwood: really though, we should be preparing for tomorrow night
Lockwood: Kipps and George, you go to the library and research the history of the house.  Bring Holly's notes from this morning's meeting.
Lockwood: Holly, you work on starting a case file and make photocopies of your notes.
Lockwood: Lucy and I will refill our work belts and take stock of our salt and iron stores until Flo gets here
Kipps: read: make out
Lockwood: no!
Lucy: shouldn't someone be monitoring the skull?
ItsSkullyBitch: you aint getting near my internet search history
Kipps: ...I dont want to ask
Lockwood: it'll be fine
Lockwood: whats the worst it could do in 3 hours?
Lucy: I think we already answered that
Lucy: but fine
Lucy: it has been uncharacteristically quiet today
Lockwood: ok everyone meet back here at 5pm
Lockwood: Flo, you still good for noon?
Flo: yep
Lockwood: great
Lockwood: Avengers, disperse!
Lucy: what
George: what
Kipps: what
Lockwood: I was trying something.
Lockwood: it didn't work.

[2:14 pm]
ItsSkullyBitch: ehehe