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You're My Tear

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Yoongi has been feeling on edge all day. The blankets weren’t the same, the couch didn’t have the same bounce that he was used too, and everything smelled too different. Yoongi’s been here for only four days now and he was still overwhelmed with everything new, trying to retain that familiar scent of Seokjin by burying his face in the sweater he had taken from the older man.

Yoongi was currently staying at Namjoon’s apartment. Seokjin was out of town visiting his family for what they had deemed a “family-only vacation” for about a week. Seokjin was hesitant about going, his family wouldn’t take no for an answer as they haven’t seen him for some months now but he also didn’t want to leave Yoongi. Seokjin had voiced his concerns to the kitten hybrid but Yoongi made him go with a firm, “You deserve a vacation, hyung.” Seokjin didn’t want to leave Yoongi in the apartment alone and had suggested for him to stay with Namjoon since the two were already accustomed to one another. Yoongi had agreed since he liked Namjoon and figured he’d get bored of being in the apartment alone after a few days. Namjoon was more than willing to care for the hybrid for the next week to come.

Four days may not seem like a long time, but it was long enough for Yoongi to start feeling withdrawals. Seokjin withdrawals that is. Yoongi was the one to reassure Seokjin that a week wasn’t a long time when the elder had told him he was going to miss him when he left (though not without saying he was going to miss him too). But now he was the one feeling that they’d been separated for ten years.

I’m going to miss you, kitten. I love you!

Yoongi was currently laying on the couch with Seokjin’s sweater pulled up to cover his nose and hands tucked between his legs as he curled in on himself. The first few days with Namjoon had been a lot of fun. The two got along well and Yoongi didn’t feel any awkwardness around the man, he was extremely comfortable. But now the growing need for his hyung’s warmth had put him in a mood to do nothing at all.

Namjoon was beginning to get concerned about how long Yoongi could last with him. He watched as Yoongi’s ears lay flat on his head and his tail lay limp as he watched the movie in front of him, not looking interested at all. They had gone out together the days before to do various activities, but now Yoongi seemed content with just lazing on the couch. The pink sweater on his body was much too big on him, making it obvious that the smaller man had taken it from Seokjin’s closet before leaving their shared apartment. It was clear that Yoongi was missing his caretaker and didn’t quite know what to do without him. Namjoon had taken him out for coffee this morning when he’d seen how much more upset he’d gotten over night in an attempt to cheer him up even for just a little while.

He has a bit of a coffee addiction now. Don’t give him too much.

The coffee had satisfied his taste buds for a while but once they got back to Namjoon’s apartment he was reminded of his situation and found himself lying on the couch in sadness again. Namjoon was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do knowing that Yoongi’s sadness was increasing with everyday that passed and that three more days were yet to come before Seokjin returned.

Namjoon was doing work at the dining table, situating himself somewhere where he can look over and check on Yoongi just in case he needed him. Yoongi’s been motionless for a while now, only staring blankly ahead at the movie playing and occasionally readjusting the blanket laying on top of him.

The movie had been playing for about half an hour before Namjoon froze in his typing when he heard a sniffle come from the couch. He looked up in alarm when he heard a faint whine following shortly after. Yoongi lay shaking on the couch, pressing the sweater he wore further into his face. Namjoon rushed out of his seat and over to where Yoongi cried.

Namjoon crouched in front of Yoongi and placed a hand on his trembling shoulder in attempted comfort. “Hyung! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Namjoon questioned in panic. The smaller man in front of him was crying, eyes squeezed shut and tears running down his face as he held the sweater to his nose. Yoongi was trying his hardest to quiet his cries. His chest and throat hurt in his attempt, but he couldn’t contain the small whines from escaping.

“Hyung?” Namjoon attempted again. He couldn’t help Yoongi if he didn’t know what was causing him so much distress. Though he had an idea it concerned a certain blond haired man. The sight of the distraught hybrid hurt his heart.

“It-it d-doesn’t smell l-like him anymore,” Yoongi stuttered, the cries he’s trying to hold in trying to escape, “I miss Seokjinie.” He cried harder at his last words, as if they made his situation that much more real. The sweater Yoongi was wearing was starting to smell less and less like Seokjin and more like the earthy tones of Namjoon. The fading scent reminding him of how much time has passed. The stiffness of the couch beneath him and roughness of the blanket on top of him only amplified the misplacement Yoongi was feeling.

Namjoon’s heart shattered at seeing the boy so upset. When Yoongi reached out to him with grabby hands, he didn’t hesitate to pull Yoongi up and into his lap as he settled them onto the couch. Yoongi sat in Namjoon’s lap and wrapped his arms around his shoulders as he cried into his neck, allowing the taller man to hold and comfort him. Namjoon rubbed a hand up and down Yoongi’s back as he hiccupped and gasped in his crying, whispering as many words of comfort to the boy as he could. Namjoon felt awful. It was clear that Yoongi was missing Seokjin but he didn’t think his feeling of withdrawal would take him to the point of crying. The next three days to come now filled Namjoon with dread, imagining how much pain Yoongi would be feeling as he waited for Seokjin to return to him if he was already in this state.

Namjoon ran his fingers through the black locks of the boy in his lap after he felt him calm down. “Do you want to talk to Seokjin? We can always call him,” Namjoon spoke softly to the still trembling boy, the atmosphere around them still very delicate.

Yoongi tightened his hold around Namjoon and shook his head. “I don’t w-want to bother him. H-he’s supposed to be o-on vacation,” the kitten refused. As much as he wanted to hear his hyung’s voice, he was supposed to be carefree at this moment and Yoongi didn’t want him to stress over his neediness. That would be selfish of him.

Namjoon gently pulled the smaller boy away from his neck, quick to wipe away the stray tears that fell from his now red and puffy eyes. Namjoon cupped his face and continued wiping at his wet cheeks, “I think hyung would love to hear your voice, baby. He misses you a lot too, y’know?”

Yoongi sniffled and murmured a quiet, “Okay.” Not wanting to argue and allowing his own desires take over.

Quickly pulling his phone from out of his pocket, Namjoon hastily called Seokjin’s number and handed the phone to Yoongi who was now resting his head on his shoulder.

Seokjin answered the phone after three rings.

“Hello? Namjoon?”

“Hyung,” Yoongi responded thickly, the sound of Seokjin’s voice making him a little emotional again.

“Ah, is that my baby?” Seokjin teased from the other end.

Yoongi giggled wetly, “Yeah.” The boy shifted a little in Namjoon’s lap, not quite knowing what to say despite being so desperate to have some part of his hyung back. “Um,” Yoongi sniffled, “how-how’s your vacation?”

“It’s okay. I’m kind of bored here now though.”

Yoongi hummed.

“Are you okay, kitten? You sound kind of shaky.”

Yoongi looked up at Namjoon from where he lay on his shoulder, wanting him to somehow save him from having to admit to his dilemma with the man on the phone. Namjoon only wrapped his arms around his waist in support but looked at him expectantly.

“Um,” Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut, fearing he’d start crying again, “I-I miss you, Seokjinie.”

The short silence on the phone was nerve wracking.

“I miss you too, baby. So much, you don’t even know.”

Yoongi whined into the phone, the words coming from the man making his heart squeeze painfully.

“Oh baby it’s okay,” Seokjin reassured, “It’s just a few more days and then I’ll be back for you, okay?”

Yoongi rubbed at his eyes, getting rid of the few tears that had managed to escape, “Okay.”

“I have to go now, sweetheart, but just know that I love and miss you a lot and I can’t wait to see you in a few days.”

“I love you too.”

“Bye, baby.”


And Seokjin’s voice was gone.

Yoongi handed the phone back to Namjoon, feeling a little exhausted from his emotional episode. “Are you feeling better now, Yoongi?” Namjoon reached up to brush away the hair falling into Yoongi’s eyes.

“A little bit. Thank you.”

“Of course. And how about this,” Namjoon smiled down at the boy, “Tomorrow, we can stop by the apartment and pick up your blanket if you want. Hyung gave me the key just in case.” He offered, knowing full well of Yoongi’s attachment to the thing.

Yoongi’s eyes brightened up at the thought and Namjoon saw that as a victory. “Can we?” Going back to get his blanket meant he’d have something familiar to ground him while he stayed in Namjoon’s apartment and also. It smelled like Seokjin, a perfect replacement for the sweater he was wearing.

“Mhm. We can go in the morning.”

“Okay, I’d like that.”

“We should go to bed, it’s been a rough night,” Namjoon noted.

Yoongi nodded his head, feeling the sleep start to weigh in on him, “Can I sleep with you tonight though? I don’t want to be alone…” Yoongi had been sleeping on the couch for the week because he was adamant about giving Namjoon his space since it was his apartment, despite the fact that Namjoon had told him he could do as he pleased.

“Of course, let’s go sleep now.”

That night, Namjoon fell asleep with a cat hybrid wrapped around his arm.

Namjoon had woken up earlier than Yoongi the next morning, ready to be his support for the day after the emotional one they shared yesterday. While Yoongi was usually a light sleeper due to his heightened sense of hearing, today he remained asleep as Namjoon got ready for the day, surely exhausted after releasing his troubles the day before.

Namjoon shook Yoongi slightly after he’d finished getting himself ready. “Yoongi, baby. Let’s go get your blanket, yeah?” He whispered to the boy as he woke up. Yoongi looked adorable, hair messy from sleep and still wearing the oversized pink sweater. But his red rimmed eyes told a whole different story and the fact that he hadn’t changed gave away just how fast he had knocked out.

Yoongi stretched, arms reaching upwards and face scrunching. “Yay,” Yoongi said sleepily. He tried to feel excited, but he still felt so heavy despite crying so much already.

He sat up in bed and looked up at Namjoon with sad eyes, ears flat against his head. Namjoon sighed in understanding, “I know, I know. Just a few more days remember, you can do this.” He leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Yoongi didn’t seem too keen on taking too long to leave the apartment, wanting to get his small dose of Seokjin as soon as possible. He was still clad in the giant pink sweater and had only slipped on a pair of jeans underneath before they left and got into the car. When they reached the apartment, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel as if something was wrong about being there. Something about the apartment without the presence of Seokjin didn’t feel much like home like Yoongi’s come to see it as over the months. Though he couldn’t do anything about Namjoon unlocking the door for them to step in.

As soon as the door opened, Yoongi was hit with the sweet, welcoming smell of Seokjin that had seeped into the furniture and into the walls. But at this moment, Yoongi couldn’t decipher whether he welcomed it or not, not when Seokjin wasn’t actually there. As the two of them walked in, Yoongi began to feel overwhelmed by everything familiar while simultaneously unfamiliar. The smell, the furniture and yet no Seokjin. The sensory overload began to weigh him down, chest tightening up and legs feeling oh so heavy as if there were weights tied to them. Yoongi walked slowly to the couch where he left his favorite blanket last, finding it splayed out haphazardly in the same fashion he’d thrown it off his body the day he was going to stay at Namjoon’s place.

Namjoon watched as Yoongi walked sluggishly around the apartment. His body language giving away just how overwhelmed he must be in that moment. Namjoon sensed another weeping in the process with how little reaction Yoongi was giving off. His predictions were confirmed when he saw how Yoongi’s lower lip trembled as he picked the blanket up and lifted it up to his face to smell. He was quick to walk over to the smaller man and wrap his arms around him before he started to cry.

Namjoon cooed and rocked the two back and forth, heart breaking for the millionth time just this week at Yoongi being so at loss.

“I’m sorry, I-I don’t know w-why I’m crying s-so much. It h-hasn’t even b-been t-that long.” Yoongi felt like an idiot at his second crying fit in less than 24 hours. He knows he’s gotten attached to Seokjin after all these months, but maybe he was too attached if he couldn’t be separated for just five days. Clingy.

“Hey, don’t apologize. It’s okay if you miss hyung, let it all out if you need to.” Namjoon cradled the back of Yoongi’s head, allowing him to lean into his chest. The kitten was still holding the soft, cream colored blanket to his face as he cried, letting out little sobs now at Namjoon’s words. Namjoon was quick to pull out his phone and call Seokjin while he comforted the hybrid to alert him of the situation.

He answered after one ring.

“Hello? Is everything alright?”

“Ah hyung, Yoon-“

“What’s that noise? Is that Yoongi!?” Seokjin cut him off before he got to finish, suddenly much more alert after hearing the frantic cries of Yoongi in the background.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I’m gonna be honest and say he’s not doing too well.” Namjoon sighed, “I don’t know what to do but I can’t stand seeing him like this.” He rubbed a hand up and down the hybrid’s back, said hybrid unable to comprehend that Namjoon had called Seokjin through his sorrow. He felt like he was going to start drowning in his own tears at this point.

“Shit,” Seokjin murmured to himself, sounding extremely distressed, “Okay, okay. I’ll figure something out, don’t worry.”

After his call with Seokjin, Namjoon maneuvered himself and the still trembling boy onto the couch. It didn’t seem right to leave the apartment even though coming here had been the reason for Yoongi’s weeping. Too much moving around and a change in environment could be too much for Yoongi to handle. Before he knew it, Yoongi had knocked out, worn out from his sobs.

Yoongi was embarrassed that he couldn’t keep himself in check without Seokjin’s presence. He’d gotten addicted to the love he received from Seokjin every second of the day and now that he didn’t have it he was a wreck. And even worse is that he had to break down in front of Namjoon. He felt awful that the taller man had to take care of him like this, even worse is when the two of them were supposed to be enjoying the week together. Namjoon didn’t sign up for this but now he’s taken the role of Yoongi’s emotional support. He was grown and yet craved so much attention. He knows that Namjoon and Seokjin don’t mind taking care of him. In fact, they’ve said before that they’re more than happy to. But Yoongi doesn’t want to take advantage of that. He wants to show them that he’s strong and independent, but it seems that he hasn’t reached that point yet. His relationship with them still all too young.

Yoongi doesn’t remember falling asleep. Last thing he remembers is Namjoon’s arms around him as he cried. Embarrassingly. He felt so heavy that day. With tears and sorrow and his bones felt like they weighed a ton. And yet at this moment he felt so light and warm, like he was floating, a big contrast to how he’d been feeling for the past two days. He felt a pair of hands gently petting him and a warm voice over him, speaking in hushed whispers though he couldn’t make out what was being said. The warmth was beginning to wake him, a low rumble of a purr growing in his chest. When he peeked an eye open, he was met with the image of Seokjin above him, cradling him in his arms. He was quick to close his eyes again, making sure that the other man hadn’t caught him as he wanted the coddling to continue without interruption. The purr in his chest grew in delight. He missed the warmth of the man above him and wanted more. It’s been so long.

Yoongi’s eyes shot open in realization. Seokjin wasn’t supposed to be back until another two days and yet here he was. Holding Yoongi in his arms. Namjoon long gone.

“Hyung?” Yoongi gasped in shock, eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Ah Yoonie, I was wondering when you’d wake up.” Seokjin chuckled. Yoongi would’ve basked in the nickname but at this moment he couldn’t feel anything but an overwhelming amount of guilt. He didn’t come back early because of him, did he?

“What are you doing here? I thought you still had two days left? Where’d Namjoon go?” the words spewed out of Yoongi’s lips, worried that he’d ruined the elders vacation because of his inability to keep himself in check.

“Are you not happy to see me?”

Yoongi’s eyes welled up. “I-I…” he didn’t know how to continue. He was so relieved to have Seokjin back, but he didn’t want him here at the same time. He felt sick.

Seokjin lifted Yoongi to sit up on his lap before the smaller boy worked himself up, already guessing what he must be thinking in that head of his. “Baby,” he cupped the kitten’s face, “Yes, I came back because I was worried about you. But it’s because I wanted to, okay? The vacation was only dragging out, not just for me but for my family as well. They let me go. I missed you so much and I couldn’t just do nothing knowing that you were going through a tough time. Nothing is your fault.” Seokjin reassured Yoongi who was looking down instead of at his face. Yoongi let out a shaky breath before simply nodding, lifting his arms a little to indicate that he wanted to be held. Seokjin cooed and brought the smaller flush to his body, pressing a kiss into his hair.

“Did Namjoon leave?” Yoongi asked quietly.

“Yeah, said he wanted to give us space.”

Yoongi hummed. “Can you tell him I said thank you for taking care of me? I feel bad…” he murmured.

“Of course.”

Yoongi then took than moment to soak in everything Seokjin. Everything felt right again. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing nose into Seokjin’s neck, taking a whiff of the smell he’s come to love and associate home with. He gave in to his cat instincts and allowed himself to scent Seokjin thoroughly, rubbing his cheek over his neck and lower jaw. He’s scented Seokjin before, but he always tried to do so discreetly whether it was by rubbing on his clothes while he was walking by or when they were sleeping. But his scent never lasted long since he was only marking clothes and not skin. Seokjin stretched his neck and gave Yoongi more access to what he needed to do. Seokjin knew Yoongi liked to scent his belongings and such but he’s never been so open about it. The little kisses he felt on the underside of his jaw marked the end of the scenting session.

“It’s still early in the day, did you want to do something?” Sunlight was still shining through the blinds of the living room, illuminating everything it touched.

Yoongi shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you.”

“Aw, aren’t you sweet?” Seokjin pinched one of Yoongi’s cheeks, always ready to tease him when he got more affectionate than usual. Yoongi pouted in return.

“Ah, and Yoongi?”


“I love you.”

Yoongi slapped his shoulder at that but then smushed his face into it after, face feeling warm as he giggled in disbelief. “You’re so stupid,” Yoongi laughed, words muffled by the material of Seokjin’s shirt.

“Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Seokjin jested, though extremely delighted to see Yoongi returning back to his usual self.

“Mm. Don’t feel like it.”

Seokjin gasped in mock hurt, “Weren’t you the one begging me to come back?”

“Hey,” Yoongi pouted, “I didn’t beg. If anything, I didn’t want you to come.”

Seokjin smiled, “I know, I know. I’m just teasing. How about we just sit around and do nothing today? I’m still kind of tired from the trip back.”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

“You’re such a cat.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

As Seokjin made his way to stand up, Yoongi pulled him back down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you too, hyung.”

For the rest of that day, Seokjin and Yoongi went about with no plans. Just being in each others company was enough for the two of them. They talked about what Seokjin did on his vacation with his family and what Yoongi did with Namjoon as they went about.

“You guys have a beach house?”


“Are you guys rich or something?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“What the hell.”

“You guys went to a museum?”

“Yeah, Namjoon turned me into his photographer that day.”

“Oof, I’ve been there.”

“It’s okay because he treated me with salmon after.”

"Is that my sweater, by the way?"


"You're adorable."

Yoongi was a lot more cuddly and affectionate that day. Well. More than usual. He didn’t want to go a second without Seokjin, opting to hold his hand or cling to his arm while the older man went about doing his laundry or dusting the shelves. Seokjin didn’t mind though, having missed the kitten hybrid an awful lot as well. At one point in the night, Seokjin decided to carry Yoongi around the apartment just for fun. Yoongi was plastered onto his front with arms and legs wrapped around his body as Seokjin spun them in circles while the other boy laughed.

The day reached an end when the two of them found each other in bed, tangled in each other's limbs. How things were supposed to be. Only later that night Seokjin woke up to a weight on his body, a light weight but a weight nonetheless. When he’d pried his eyes open in curiosity (and a small amount of alarm), he was met with a sleeping kitten hybrid completely laying on top of him, black ears on top of his head twitching with every exhale Seokjin took. It was then that he realized his left hand was trapped under the hand of the boy on top of him, held to their side. Yoongi had somehow found the perfect way to hold hands even in their unconscious state and Seokjin wanted to laugh at that. But at seeing how Yoongi wanted to be as close to him as possible, even in their sleep, Seokjin could only smile at the warmth that filled him. Bringing his free hand to hold Yoongi to his chest, Seokjin drifted back to sleep.