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So Take a Deep Breath

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Fell gets lost in his thoughts as he finishes the coffee and cleans the dishes he used. He returns to his brother’s side, having nothing else to do. He spends too long mindlessly staring at his brother’s slowly rising and falling chest. This world is safer than his own, that much is certain. But there are still so many things that don’t make sense. Primarily Blue.

The red turtleneck and grey pants Blue had given him had been a good fit. Even if Blue was taller than his brother, Sans was fat enough that Blue’s big clothes fit him just fine. Unlike the clothes Fell had been given. The brown sweatshirt he’d gotten last night fit fine, but everything else had been too big.

It makes him feel uncomfortable to wear such loose clothing. It reminds him of when he and Sans were still children. They always had to get large clothes so it would still fit as they grew. A lot of things are making him feel like a helpless child recently…

Fell changes back into the clothes from last night— something that fits him properly— and starts adorning his armor. He wants something he’s familiar with. Anything to take the feeling of helplessness away.

He reaches for his scarf and hesitates. He hasn’t worn it since he wrapped Sans in it. He wants to wear it so bad, the only item of true value he has left.

He leaves it draped over his brother. He doesn’t deserve to wear it. Not after how badly he’s ruined their lives.

----

Finding the clearing is a lot simpler than he thought it would be. It’s a straight walk from the back door. The snow is piled high making the trek long but thankfully not unbearable.

Fell enters the clearing and sees no evidence of his skirmish with Blue. Not surprising since this was probably the center of last night’s blizzard.

He wonders how his Snowdin faired against the raging blizzards he and the machine caused. Had it caused any property damage?

Had anybody gotten hurt?

He shakes the thoughts from his head. He shouldn’t worry himself with that anymore. There’s nothing he can do about it.

Taking a deep breath, Fell clears his mind and gathers his magic. Just because he’s no longer in the guard doesn’t mean he should allow himself to slack off.

Slowly letting his breath out, he feels the magic form into two long bones in his hands. The ends are sharp as usual. However, they now have barbs near the ends.

He dispels them and summons a few bones from the ground. Those, too, have barbs along the ends.

Frowning, he dispels those as well. He summons a blaster to inspect. The construct’s teeth are sharper than before. Instead of the usual pair of aloof eyes staring back at him, six cold eyes glare down at him.

Oh, that’s right…

His level of violence increased. It’s no wonder his attacks reshaped to show how corrupted he’s become. His appearance did, so of course his attacks would too.

Stars, he’s turning into a true beast

A quiet sniffling instantly has him on guard. He summons a bone in one hand and looks around. “Show yourself,” he comands. He wonders if he should’ve used a tone other than the one he normally uses as a Royal Guard. 

One of the bushes at the far end of the clearing shakes. Fell narrows his eyes at it. Whoever’s trying to ambush him is doing a terrible job.

Eventually, a small yellow head pokes out of the bushes.

Fell feels like he’s had the wind knocked out of him as he looks at the child. He’s trembling, clothes dripping wet. “MK?”

The child lets out a loud whimper and runs towards him. Fell resist his reflex to strike the child rushing him.

The child trips over his feet and lands face first on the snow. He struggles to push himself to his feet as his whimpering turns into full on sobbing.

Fell dispels his attack. He stands there a moment, awkwardly watching the sobbing child.

Eventually he works himself up enough to approach. He has to remind himself that this isn’t his world anymore. The children here probably don’t put on an act to attract unsuspecting victims.

Upon closer inspection, Fell is certain this child is MK.

“Are you..." he trails off. He's never had anything like this happen to him. "Injured?” He asks awkwardly.

The child just starts to blubber harder. “I want my mommy and daddy!” A distinctly female voice says.

Fell is taken aback yet again. Not only is this MK a girl, but she has parents unlike her counterpart in his world. “Can you walk?” He asks. Stars above, he’s so out of his element.

MK nods through her crying.

“Good, good,” Fell mutters under his breath. He tries to be gentle as he nudges MK. Though, he’s not sure he does a good job judging by how she stumbles. “Follow me. I’ll take you back to town.”

MK follows him for about five minutes before she trips again. She has a much harder time getting up this time. Fell kneels down to awkwardly help her up. She’s trembling like a leaf and he can feel how cold she is through his gloves. She’s likely on the verge of hypothermia, if she doesn’t have it already.

Fell removes the small brown scarf he’d been given and wraps it around MK. Around his own neck, it had looked like a bandana, but it’s large enough to wrap a significant portion of MK’s body with.

He hesitates only a moment more before he scoops her up. “I’ll get you to town. Just… stop the crying,” he grimaces.

MK stifles her crying as best she can. She eventually starts dozing off in his arms. Fell makes sure to wake her up every time she closes her eyes for too long. She’s still too cold for Fell to let her safely fall asleep. Never mind that the notion of a child feeling comfortable enough in his presence to fall asleep is incredibly unsettling.

Eventually he makes it to the backyard of the house. By this point, MK’s crying has been reduced to sniffles and hiccups. He sticks to the tree line as he starts walking in the direction of the town. It feels a little weird to be walking east as opposed to west, but he’d rather follow the signs of life than the memories of his world.

He stops when he sees some of the towns people. He really doesn’t want to deal with any of them; even if they’re likely as soft as Blue and MK. “Wake up,” he says jostling the small monster. “We’re here.”

MK looks around blearily. Excitement and relief quickly overtake her features.

Fell sets her down before she can start wriggling. He expects her to take off running the second she sets foot on the ground. Instead, she looks up at him with wide eyes. Fell raises a browbone at her. “What.”

“What’s your name, Mister?”

He feels a little startled at the question. It’s stupid, but he’d forgotten that these monsters don’t know who he is. He doesn’t have a reputation here like the one he had in his own world. This small child wants to know who he is without a hint of fear in her eyes. “I am−,” he faulters. He’s no one. He gave up his name and title the moment he refused the Emperor’s demands.

But he’s not there anymore. He’s in this new world. “My name is Fell,” he eventually says. The name feels weird to say, like he’s simultaneously lying and finally telling the truth.

MK smiles brightly up at him. “Thank you so much, Mister Fell,” she says leaning forward to rub her cheek against his forearm.

Fell barely stops himself from reflexively fling her off at the sudden contact. Before he can even properly process it, she turns away and starts running deeper into the town.

On a curious whim, he decides to follow her from the shadows. He’s curious as to who this monster’s parents are.

MK’s in front of the Inn when a dog bursts through the door and tackles her.

Fell instantly summons a blaster at the sight of Dogaressa. But instead of terrorizing the small monster, the dog nuzzles MK and whimpers.

He watches with continually mounting confusion as Dogaressa starts licking MK’s cheeks. Dogamy soon joins the pile and nuzzles MK, tears streaming down his face. MK’s crying again as she nuzzles them back… happy to be home apparently.

The two dogs eventually take notice of the brown scarf wrapped around MK. They remove it and sniff it quizzically. They turn to sniff MK who giggles at their antics.

----

Fell lets his shoulders slump once he’s back in the guest room. He’d left as soon as he was satisfied that Dogamy and Dogaressa really weren’t going to terrorize or torture MK.

This world just keeps surprising him, and he feels drained each time it does.

He pushes the desk chair into the corner and takes a seat. He’ll be able to keep an eye on his brother, the window, and the door as he works. This universe may be safe, but the habit of vigilance is not so easily abandoned.

He removes his armor and lays it out on the floor in front of him. It’s caked in dirt, sweat, and residual dust. He wonders off handedly if any of that dust got on MK.

Fell busies himself with cleaning the armor. It’s a long and arduous task, but familiar enough to ease his nerves. He lets his mind fall blissfully blank as he works on removing the filth from every crevice.  

A knock on the door interrupts him. He sets the armor down with a sigh. He’s about to open the door when he belatedly realizes how dark it is. He must’ve started using his magic as a light source at some point. He flicks on the light and opens the door, not at all surprised to see Blue on the other side.

“Do you need something?” Fell says. He still feels a little detached after spending so long mindlessly working.

Blue smiles up at him. There’s a softness that hasn’t been there before. “Thank you, Fell.”

Fell’s taken aback at how sincere Blue sounds. Where is this coming from?

“For helping MK,” Blue continues sensing Fell’s confusion. “You didn’t have to, but you did. Thank you.”

Fell opens and closes his mouth a few times. He’s at a complete loss. He himself still isn’t entirely sure why he did it. Maybe from some misplaces sense of longing for his old life? Or maybe guilt for leaving his Snowdin behind? That he’s longer there to ensure Dogamy and Dogaressa don’t kill MK. That he isn’t even sure MK’s still alive.

Blue reaches for his arm, and before Fell can react, he pulls his hand away. “I just finished dinner if you want any,” he offers. He doesn’t wait for a reply as he makes his way back to the kitchen.

Fell’s glad. It gives him time to collect and recompose himself. Though, he still feels a bit off kilter when he goes down stairs.

The smell of lasagna hits him instantly. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was, or that it was so late.

“I don’t usually come back this late,” Blue says serving them both. Fell’s grateful the other skeleton is filling the silence with inane chatter so he won’t have to. “It’s kind of hard to reach us when we’re so far into the woods. Most of us— the sentries and guards I mean— didn’t come back until it was too dark to keep searching…”

Fell takes it back. This isn’t inane chatter and he doesn’t want to hear anymore.

“We were all secretly thinking MK hadn’t survived the storm… being out there all alone… At least half of us were just looking for dust…” Blue trails off briefly. He quickly recomposes himself, as if he hadn’t admitted something so horrible. “You wouldn’t believe how relieved we were to find out that MK made it home okay.” That soft look is back on his face as he smiles at Fell. “It’s all thanks to you, Fell.”

Fell merely stares down at his food. He suddenly doesn’t have an appetite anymore. How can Blue treat him like this? Like he’s not some beast with a LOVE of 18, with twisted attacks, and an even more twisted appearance?

“You asked me before: why help you instead of just killing you,” Blue says, instantly grabbing Fell’s attention. “This is why. Your LOVE doesn’t define you. You chose to help MK when you had no reason to.”

Fell, at a complete loss for words, just stares at him. Is this really the power of Judgment? The ability to look at a monster’s very being? The being buried underneath all the LOVE and dust?

He doesn’t even know who he is under all that LOVE and dust anymore. Yet, Blue believes in him. Believes he’s more than just a beast. That he can still be a good person.

Maybe…

Maybe he’ll be okay here. Maybe he can change; show Blue he can be that monster Blue believes him to be.

He feels a chill run up his spine.

Fell catches a bone moments before it collides with his face. Years of training and looking over his shoulder has let him react before he’s even sure what’s going on.

He drops it, forcefully cutting short a startled sound before it even forms. The chill worsens as his HP continues to drain.

KR.