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Official Stark Industries Handbook

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  1. Stark Industries has a strict no reprint policy.

    1. Each visitor and employee receives a single badge.1

      1. If, in the course of your duties, explosion or chemical damage seems imminent it is vital to protect your badge at all costs.

      2. We will pay for medical care; we will not tolerate badge destruction.

      3. Badge destruction is grounds for immediate dismissal.2 3

    2. We will not print a replacement badge under any circumstances.

      1. It's not that we lack the capacity to do so; we simply choose not to.4

      2. If you are incapable of properly caring for your badge, you have proven yourself unable to live up to the responsibilities of this job and are unqualified to hold a position within this company.

    3. If you leave your badge at home, you will be asked to go home and think about what you did. Stark Industries is very disappointed in you. 5 6

    4. In the event that information on your badge is incorrect or needs updating, you may take it to head of security Happy Hogan or his designated representative. He will be Happy7 8 to make any necessary changes.9

  2. Stark Industries has 35 distinct badge levels.10 11 12 It is vital that each and every person who steps through this door be given a detailed run through of the entire system and be capable of identifying the subtle distinctions at a glance.

    1. A detailed breakdown of the each of the 3513 14 different designs may be found in Appendix A.

    2. Clearance levels and rank within each badge type are designated by decimal points.15

    3. Visitors may choose to waive the standard badge and instead receive a collectible commemorative badge designed by Captain Steven Grant Rogers for an additional fee. All proceeds will go to efforts to rebuild sites damaged during the Battle of New York and reparations to those who suffered irredeemable losses during the duration of said event.16

    4. See Tour Guide Handbook for further information.

  3. Security Measures

    Stark Tower is a high security facility. It is vital that all visitors and employees comply with security measures at all times when on Stark Industries grounds.

    1. Badges must be visible at all times.

    2. Tower entry requires scanning badge, bags, and individuals. The results of said scans will be loudly announced to ensure that everyone in the vicinity is aware of the individual's:

      * Full name

      * Childhood nickname(s)17

      * Security clearance

      * Social security number

    3. Corporate spies beware. Our legal department is second to none and our CEO breathes fire and makes grown men cry.18 19

    4. Head of Security Happy Hogan puts out a number of daily memos regarding security updates. Past memos can be found on file in his office or in digital format upon request. Due to the frequency with which policies are updated, it is recommended that you consult the security department for the latest policies in order to remain up to date.

  4. Discrimination and Harassment Policies

    This space used to contain the Stark Industries discrimination and harassment policies. Due to a number of incidents, these policies have been expanded upon a number of times and are now relegated to a separate document. Please be sure to familiarize yourself with the contents of said document as you will be held accountable for that information.

 

 

Appendix A

 

Badge types

 

  1. Visitors

    1.1 Gawkers. These cards may be distributed to those who wish to explore the lobby, the displays discussing the history of Stark Industries, the Avengers museum, or the lower level gift shops. They do not confer any security clearances, they simply allow us to track the populations in and around the Tower.

    1.2 Tourists. These cards may be distributed to those who are scheduled to attend official guided tours of the Tower. They do not confer any security clearances but do require security checks due to the fact that recipients will be granted access to the Tower facilities while accompanied by a qualified guide.

    1.3 Hangers on. Visitors who have been vetted and granted limited access while accompanied by qualified staff.

    1.4 Ned and MJ. We have been assured that the individuals in question will know who they are. Stark Industries is unable to answer further questions as to their identity or clearance levels.

    * Any of the above clearance levels will be marked with a star if printed on one of the collectible commemorative card blanks.

  2. Reporters

    2.1 Vultures. These badges will be conferred upon those who make a habit of hanging around the entrances or the public areas of the Tower and waiting to pounce on high ranking residents and employees. Their security clearance level is one step down from Gawkers, and they may be evicted from the Tower at staff's discretion.

    2.2 Nuisances. These badges confer access to press conferences and other public outreach efforts. They will be monitored at all times when on Stark Industry premises.

    2.3 Termagants. Individuals of the press who have reacted poorly in the aftermath of intimate liaisons with Mister Stark. These individuals require special handling. Inform head of security Happy Hogan immediately if they are seen on the grounds.

    2.4 Fox News. To be repelled at all costs.

  3. Food services

    3.14159 Pastry chefs and pizza delivery

    3.2 Line cooks

    3.3 Caterers

    3.4 Wait staff

    3.5 Cashiers

    3.6 Supply

    3.7 Food delivery with clearances

  4. Accounting. The accounting department has received special dispensation from Miss Potts to disregard Mister Stark's efforts to introduce chaos into their ranking system and has deemed it prudent to employ numerical rankings. The head of department ranks 4.0. Subsequent rankings run from 4.1 to 4.7.

  5. Legal. The legal department does not answer to Tony Stark. Internal clearance levels will be kept confidential.

  6. Janitorial staff. Numerical designations are issued in accordance to assigned floors.

    6.0 Ground floor to 9th floor

    6.1 10th through 19th floors

    6.2 20th through 29th floors

    6.3 31st through 39th floors

    6.4 40th through 49st floors

    6.5 50th through 59th floors

    6.6 60th through 69th floors

    6.7 70th through 79th floors

    6.8 80th through 89th floors

    6.9 Avengers common spaces and residential areas

  7. Tour guides, assigned by sector

    7.1 Stark Industries historical memorabilia

    7.2 Avengers memorabilia

    7.3 Public tours of the Tower facilities

    7.4 Private tours of higher clearance areas

    7.5 Specialized tours arranged for Midtown School of Science and Technology20

  8. Secretarial staff – appended decimals will reflect the departments to whom one is assigned

  9. Receptionists – appended decimals will reflect the floors to which one is assigned

  10. Security

    10/10 Head of security Happy Hogan is ranked 10 out of 1021

    10.1-10.922 ranked numerically

  11. Administrative staff23

  12. Research and development - We don't rank by numbers in R&D, we rank by gold stars. 1 star for every badge you've destroyed.

  13. Engineering

  14. Testing

  15. Consumer research24

  16. Biochemical

  17. Programming – rankings from 0 to 9 reflective of how many levels of Jarvis one managed to hack through in a single go

  18. Shipping and Receiving

  19. Public Relations

  20. Human Resources

  21. Interns. Not all interns, just the substandard ones that populate most of the Tower.

  22. Internal Technology

  23. Babysitters.25 26 27

  24. Daycare28

  25. Medical29

  26. Maintenance30

  27. Manufacturing

  28. Distribution

  29. Marketing31

  30. Regulation compliance32 33

  31. Office supply and logistics

  32. Government officials34

  33. Avenger affiliates

  34. Avengers35

  35. Pepper36

  36. 37 38 39

 

1 Only people capable of holding onto a piece of plastic indefinitely are Stark Industries material. Guard it with your life. -TS

2 We may tolerate badge destruction in the event that the activities ensuing in said destruction prove profitable. If this should be the case, please consult head of security Happy Hogan. You may be eligible for an upgrade to a gold titanium alloy badge. -PP

3 Should destruction of a badge result in the upgrade to a gold titanium alloy badge, the recipient will spend a week wearing a cone of shame around the office. It is a one of a kind cone, decorated by Dum-E - Tony Stark's personal robot. An official picture will be taken to join the wall of shame in Tony Stark's workshop. There may be cake. -TS

4 We may, however, engrave one. In cursive. But there will be no printing involved whatsoever. -TS

5 Similarly, Stark Industries policy strictly condemns leaving badges in an improperly secured receptacle while swinging off to engage in acts of superheroing. This means you, Pete. -TS

6 Stark Industries also condemns the yeeting of badges, no matter how broken this bitch may be. It wouldn't be broken if you were engaging in proper safety protocols. -TS

7 Incidentally, Happy loves puns on his name. Employees are encouraged to Let it be known that Tony Stark has been banned from making any further edits to this document. -PP

8 Just watch me! -TS

9 He will not, of course, reprint your badge. That would go against company policy. He has an officially designated Stark Industries Correction Tool that he employs for such measures. It is easily recognized as distinct from other permanent markers thanks to the label affixed in clear and friendly letters on its side. -TS

10 There is no super duper top secret level 36, Tony. -PP

11 Sure there is. -TS

12 There is, however, a level √(-1). There are exactly three badges assigned to this level. They belong to Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and Peter Parker. They're very proud of themselves. -NR

13 36 -TS

14 There is no level 36. -PP

15 It is worth noting that these decimal points are somewhat arbitrary and largely designated at Mister Stark's whim. It would not be recommended to assume any proper order of ranking according to numerical order. -HH

16 These badges will be one of a kind as Stark Industries has a strict no reprint policy. See Rule 1. -HH

17 Especially the embarrassing ones. -TS

18 Literally. Sometimes both at once. And in heels. That woman is amazing. -TS

19 I love you too, Tony. You're still going to the board meeting tonight. -PP

20 Prerequisites for this position include a close and personal friendship with one Peter Parker. -TS

21 Thanks boss. -HH

22 Numbers are boring, but I don't get a say in these things anymore, and Happy seems to like them. -TS

23 Boring. -TS

24 Boring. -TS

25 Baby scientists, not infants. You'd be surprised at the similarities between respective job responsibilities. -DL

26 Why are you even looking at this? -TS

27 Thor dragged Jane off to bed and I'm bored. -DL

28 Infants and small humans. Very sticky. To be avoided at all costs. -TS

29 Evil. -TS

30 Boring. -TS

31 Boring. -TS

32 Why do we even have these? -TS

33 Because this is a business and we have a responsibility towards both the law and our consumers. -PP

34 These cards don't confer any sort of clearance. The ones who really need to get in are adept at hacking the system anyhow. The rest are to be avoided at all costs. -TS

35 Plus Spider-Man. He may not be an Avenger yet, but we're working on that. -TS

36 She's one of a kind. She keeps trying to print something “more professional” with her “full name” or “actual title” but a mysterious bug seems to crop up every time the print job is ordered. -TS

37 There Is No Level 36, Tony. -PP

38 You keep saying that, and yet... -TS

39 Fine. I give up. I'll edit the damn document myself. -PP