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The grounder stick and Shakespeare

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Two drama clubs, both alike in stupidity, In fair Ton D.C., where we lay our scene, From two day grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil fake blood packets makes sweaty teenage hands unclean.


Clarke screeched a bloody war cry as she began beating Bellamy with a foam sword. “Six people died fool! How can you still think it’s a love story?!”


Bellamy tried to yell “Because it’s true love!” but it came out more like “ehau e hoo uv” because Clarke was holding him down on the ground while pulling at any part of his face she could reach.


Lincoln let out a similar groan because Octavia was doing her best to imitate Clarke, and was currently perched like a parrot on top of his head. The further you looked into the room the more chaos appeared. Monty and Jasper were sitting on the sidelines laying bets while Monty fed Jasper weed brownies. The teachers; who had once tried to restore order, simply avoided eye contact and kept walking. They had been defeated one too many times, and their spirit was broken.


The lacrosse team was also placing bets about the fight. They knew, even though Bellamy was taller, Clarkes short person rage would would enable her to swing around his head like a human hula hoop.


In the dark corner of the drama room, you could vaguely make out the silhouettes of Raven and Murphy arguing. “They’re soulmates, that’s why they fell in love so quickly. It’s love at first sight!”


Murphy leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “Juliet’s thirteen and Romeo’s a frat boy who can’t take no for an answer. Wow, yeah, that’s some love story right there.”


Raven stared at him for a full thirty seconds before she could come up with a reply. She flipped him off and said, “Fight me.”


Murphy smirked. “Oh, I can do a lot better than that, sweetheart.”


And with that, Raven was pushing Murphy against the wall and angrily making out with him. If kissing that aggressively can even be called that.


Eventually, they were all too tired to fight (or make out) so they all sprawled out on the floor. Monty and Jasper were collecting money from the lacrosse team, and you could hear muttering about “I really thought that she was gonna kick him in the balls.”


Jasper laid down on the floor and scooted over towards the rest of the group. “Hey guys. Wanna get something to eat?” He whispered.


The only response was Bellamy whimpering, “Guy’s… guy’s, I think something’s broken.”


Behind his back, Clarke winced at the bite marks going all the way up his arm. It looked like a beaver had tried to turn his arm into a dam. She covered up a snicker and pointed to Octavia. “Grab his foot. I want some french fries.”


Everyone turned and stared at Raven. She had crumpled into a ball of near-hysterical laughter. She couldn’t even speak, she just gave a breathless gasp and pointed at the floor next to the wall.


All the way through the carpet were some weird streaks that they couldn’t quite identify. Then they realized that they were scratch marks from where Bellamy had desperately attempted to claw himself away from Clarke and her foam lance of righteous fury.


The waitress at the Ark had to take a second to compose herself before she could take the groups order. One young man seemed to have bite marks from his ear all the way down to his pinky finger. Another, very happy looking young man, had bite marks of another kind on his neck that trailed down his collarbone and disappeared under his shirt. The girl across from him had similar marks and a very smug look.


The rest of them, while they had no visible wounds, were obviously high as kites.


The blonde girl, who seemed to be acting as the leader of the beaten and the high; ordered french fries and milkshakes for the table. One boy tried to protest but was immediately shot down with the threat of something called a foam lance.


The poor waitress just shook her head and walked away. Kids these days. With their threats and pot brownies.


Octavia munched on a french fry and contemplated her scheme to get her brother and her best friend to date each other. Earlier that year, she had decided that it was time. She had been watching them circle each other for years, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She had never seen two people more sexually frustrated in her life. So, in a stroke of self-proclaimed genius, she had suggested that they had put on Romeo and Juliet for the Fall Festival drama club event.


And wow, had that been a mistake. About two minutes after she had suggested it, the group had begun arguing about what the play was about. One half of the group thought that it was a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; and the other thought that it was about a poisonous hatred conquered by love.


Bellamy, Octavia and Raven had all agreed that it was a beautiful love story, and they were all far too stubborn to accept defeat now. They had fought for their side too hard to give up.


Clarke, Lincoln, and Murphy had agreed with the opposing view. They thought that it was an idiotic tale about two teenagers killing six people. Unfortunately for everyone around them, they were also too stubborn to make peace with their friends.

Monty and Jasper hadn’t picked sides. They had been content to sit and watch the chaos unfold. The two friends had always stuck together, and this time was no different.

Octavia was pulled away from her thoughts as a flying french fry hurled through the air and onto her face.


Total silence descended onto the table.


Raven turned pale and yelped, “It was Jasper! Jasper did it, I swear.” Jasper, too high to grasp what was happening, turned to Monty in confusion. Monty had just enough time to grab Jasper and start running before Octavia leapt over the table and started chasing them.


Lincoln quickly followed while yelling, “Babe, please don’t murder our friends over a french fry!”


Raven slowly leaned over to Clarke and whispered, “Do you want to know a secret?” Clarke arched a brow but motioned for her to continue.


Raven leaned in even closer and said “I threw the french fry.” With that, she gave the table a conspiratorial grin and flounced away.


Clarke looked at Bellamy shook her head with a small smile. It took them a minute to realize that Murphy had followed Raven and now they were all alone. Bellamy gave a bewildered look. “How does he do that!? He can be there one second and then gone the next. Like an even angstier Batman.”


To Bell’s delight, Clarke gave a giggle that seemed to surprize even her. She tried to cover it up by hiding behind her milkshake and glaring at him, but it was too late. He held up a hand to his chest and gave a dramatic gasp, “Did I just make you laugh, Princess?! And here I was, thinking that you didn’t think I was funny.”


Clarke snorted, “Don’t you think you should make sure Octavia hasn’t killed anyone?”


Monty grumbled to Octavia as he dug through the dirt.“I swear to god, if my hands end up smelling like onions, I’m gonna murder you.” Her only response was to shove a handful of dirt down his pants. He started to say something (probably rude) but Jasper slapped a hand over his mouth and just slowly shook his head. Octavia brushed dirt off her hands and cleared her throat. “Ok, now you’re probably all wondering why I asked you here today-”

“Actually,” Raven interrupted with a smirk, “You didn’t ask us here, you went on the group chat and said that if we didn’t show up behind your garage to help you dig up wild onions, then you’d give us all a blood moon werewolf wedgie….As you can see, none of us wanted actually find out what that was.”

Octavia gave her a glare and then continued her speech. “As I was saying before Raven so rudely interrupted me, I asked you here today so that we could discuss a growing issue. Bellamy and Clarke. They have been giving each other heart eyes since 7th grade and honestly I am so over it. They need to get laid. ” She waved her hand. “Not that I wanna think about that right now, so- MOVING ON! We need to get them together.”

Monty sighed, “You know, I hate to admit it , but O is right. I know none of us are really agreeing about this Romeo and Juliet thing but we need to work together. So until we get Clarke and Bell together...Truce?”

They all nodded in grudging agreement.

And thus, the planning began.


After their meeting, they had a plan all written out and ready for action.

Step 1-Establish attactraction. They needed Clarke and Bellamy to each finally realize that the other was actually really hot. They decided that when Bellamy took a shower before rehearsal, they were going to steal his clothes and put them in the auditorium. Then, when he walked in, they were going to wolf-whistle and hopefully get Clarke to check him out.

Step 2-Awkward boners. Now that Clarke and Bellamy were subtly checking each other out, they needed to ramp it up. Lock them in closets together, make plans for the movies and then cancel so that it was just two of them, secretly add padding to Clarke’s costume and replace Bellamy’s pants with the tightest jeans they could get away with.

Step 3-They ask each other out and kiss kiss fall in love

They also had a Plan B. It wasn’t the greatest plan ever made, but it could work if all else failed. Someone could ask out Clarke or Bellamy, (Didn’t matter which one, really) and make the other jealous. Then, after pouting for a few days, they would ask the other out. (Again, this was a last ditch effort.)

Octavia placed the papers on the table in front of the group. “Okay guys. Now all we have to do is sign this and the peace treaty, and then we’re ready to do this.”

Pens were passed around and papers were signed.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”