[Panel description: Two figures, one dressed in tan and one dressed in red, sit in the middle of the landscape. The landscape is mostly dunes of purple-gray sand, interrupted by a few rock formations and old fashioned sailing ships that have run aground. Several fans are scattered around. It is the land of ships and fans.]
[Panel description: The scene zooms in closer on the two figures. A large fan is placed behind them and to the left.]
[Panel description: The scene zooms in closely enough to see details of the two figures. They are dressed in the Homestuck Seer god tier outfit, which involves leggings, a robe, and a hood that tapers and curls up at the end. The figure in red is typing on a device, while two glowing screens shaped like gears hover in front of her. She has a slight smile on her face. The figure in tan has their hands in their lap and is frowning slightly.]
Kat: Well. Here we are.
[Panel description: Gill, in red, pulls down her hood. She has short dark hair and oval shaped glasses. The Homestuck Time symbol, a red gear, is visible on her chest. She has a curious expression.]
Gill: Hey, it was your idea, even. Not getting cold feet on me, are you?
Kat: No, not this.
[Panel description: Kat, in tan with the Life symbol, two green swirls, visible on their chest, appears agitated. Their hood is still pulled up, but they have rectangular glasses. They raise a hand as they speak.]
Kat: Not the alternate ending. I was referencing the whole "author self-inserts dropping in to speak to the characters and/or the readers" routine.
Gill: But wasn't the original author already doing that?
Kat: It was wearing a little thin then, too.
[Panel description: Both authors are now visible. Gill looks intently over at Kat as she speaks.]
Gill: Well, we agreed we're not going to do this frequently. This is just a self-aware literary device establishing to the viewer what's going on.
Kat: I suppose. You're the one with the time-top. Establish away.
Gill: Aye aye, captain.
Gill: Establish scenario.
[Panel description: Gill raises one hand holding a stylus toward one of the floating gear-shaped screens.]
[Panel description: The screen shows a bedazzled collage of scenes from Homestuck canon, including Meenah standing on Tavros' horns, Jasprosesprite^2, Davepetasprite^2, Vriska speaking into her communication device, and Jade abandoned by the rest of the group on one end of the victory platform. Glittery text has been superimposed over the image saying 'such end, very conclude, wow.' Davepetasprite^2 has been labeled with 'original character do not steal'. ]
Gill: Okay, so here we have the "canon alpha timeline", let's call it.
[Panel description: Gill swipes away this scene to reveal John and Roxy standing in front of a plain blue background.]
Gill: For the purposes of this little spin-off, this is our alpha timeline. Let's check in on what's happening.
[Panel description: Kat's head appears in the right hand corner of the panel, blocking part of the screen.]
Kat: How about I take over the narrative prompt now? As Gill said, don't worry about having to put up with us for long.
[Panel description: A captchalogue card containing a book appears in the upper left corner of the screen. The card disappears, and the book appears between Kat's hands.]
[Panel description: The book is open. It reveals a scrapbook of images including the land of wind and shade, Terezi saying "Fix this", Roxy waving to John, Typheus, and John playing the organ in his land.]
Kat: I don't foresee any prolonged authorial intrusions beyond this point. We're here to clear up any confusion about the details of exactly how this narrative diverges from the canon reality. So here's what changed, and here's what stayed the same.
[Panel description: There is a comically scribbled drawing of Game Over Terezi pointing toward the viewer. Surrounding her are similarly sketchy drawings of Dave and Jade's corpses, Karkat's hand sticking out of lava, Rose being hit by a trident, and Kanaya dissolving into ash. The scene is labeled "Fix this" in Terezi's quirk.]
Kat: The infamous sequence of events known as Game Over still happened. John and Roxy succumbed to hopelessness until Terezi arrived and demanded that they fix this.
[Panel description: John walks through the land of wind and shade.]
[Panel description: Roxy waves to John in greeting.]
[Panel description: John stands in front of his denizen Typheus, a huge snakelike creature with an obscured face.]
Kat: They visited their denizens, and Nix sent Roxy to John. However, Typheus turned John away. This version of his planet was already lost, the denizen explained, and John needed to fulfill his quest at an earlier time.
[Panel description: John and Roxy grasp hands and disappear into flashing blue-white light, with the label zap. In the next panel, John stands on a circular teal platform in Typheus' lair and plays a blue organ with tall pipes reaching up all around the room.]
Kat: John managed to bring the two of them to LOWAS at some point before Game Over, and he then completed his quest - clearing away the oil, blowing away the glitches, and gaining greater control over his powers.
[Panel description: The scene returns to the image of John and Roxy on the gear-shaped screen.]
Kat: The narrative resumes with John and Roxy on LOWAS, deciding what to do next.
[Panel description: John and Roxy, in sprite mode, stand together against a blue background.]
Roxy: That sure was a cool windy thing you just did.
If that was you anyway.
When I got up here there was stuff blowing around all over the place and I thought
that is such a John thing to be happening right now it has got to be him doing some sort of mythical wind hero quest.
Complete with fancy visual effects and a bitching soundtrack.
John: Yes, that is what I was doing.
I think I cleared out all the glitchy junk from the session, which is even better.
Roxy: For real.
That nasty ass glitter made me feel like I was in some cheapskate illegally downloaded edition of sburb.
Which whoops is technically exactly what I started playing.
I knew my roguish internet ways would come back to bite me eventually.
Too clever for my own good.
John: No glitches now!
We can finally see what's going on.
Roxy: Soooo. Now that we can see what is there for us to see, when plus where are we now?
Are all our friends not dead again?
John: I'm not sure?
Even after talking to Typheus, I still have a lot to learn about my powers.
I don't think everyone has died yet, though.
Roxy: How did talking to your denizen go?
Nix made it sound like you always have to pay some kind of price.
John: Typheus said the same thing.
He insisted on being cagey about it, but it sounded like I may have compromised my existence in some mysterious but significant way.
Even if that is the case, I still knew doing what I did was the right choice.
Except my price was less cagey and mysterious.
Nix told me I could forget all the pain and suffering we just went through by fading away with the timeline and letting the other Roxy take over.
Or I could come with you and remember.
John: You wanted to remember?
Maybe all that stuff was terrible, but the remembering makes us who we are.
I didn’t wanna give that up and stop existing even if another version of me would be kicking around. That wouldn’t be cool. (sad face)
Besides even if all our dead friends never happened it seems like someone should remember them!
And two people can remember better than one.
John: I'm glad you came along.
It would've been lonely to be the only person who'd gone through all that.
Roxy: True facts. Being lonely ain’t no fun at all.
So, um, what do we do now?
John: I should get the ring so that all the bad stuff from last time can't happen again.
Then you can give it to your friend, and make her come back to life!
Roxy: (excited face) That’ll be aces.
I think I’ll go back to my planet for a while.
I don’t want to run into the other me.
It would be weird since I arranged for her to get killed through wily denizen puzzlespeak.
John: You're right, that could be awkward.
Before you leave, we should exchange chumhandles so we can contact each other.
Roxy: I’m tipsy gnostalgic.
John: Now I've got three TGs in here. It's a good thing they're color coded.
Roxy: Three? Why?
John: Um... well, one is my friend Dave, and the other is... also my friend Dave? Sort of.
It's a long story.
Anyway, my handle is ecto biologist.
Roxy: (surprised face) No way. I love ecto biology!
John: Really? I ended up doing it without meaning to, when I made myself and my friends out of slime.
Heheh, I guess I made you too.
I think I told you about that before, but I left out the best part, which involves me acting out a scene from con air with you and baby Rose.
It was such a heartwarming performance, even the grumpiest aliens were touched.
Roxy: I only made cats. Lots and lots of cats. (distressed face)
And a bottle of mom slime, but I never got to use it.
Curse those meddlesome clowns.
John: I don't like clowns.
I hate harlequins, but clowns are their close relatives and so also unsettling.
Roxy: The clown I am talking about is v unsettling.
Dunno if he has any harlequins as second cousins but I bet his entire family tree is skeezy to the max.
Prob got bark rot or a nest of mangy squirrels up there.
Dropping grody yellow leaves all over everyone’s nice clean lawn rings.
John: Yuck. I'd better go get that ring before something happens to it again.
Then I'll come visit you on your planet so we can decide what to do next.
Roxy: K. See you soon! (smiling face)
[Panel description: John and Roxy wave goodbye to each other. Then John disappears in a flash of light with the word zap.]
[Panel description: The Prospitian battleship, a large bright yellow ship, sits on top of a green terraced hill. A tall brown hill with some ruins at its top rises behind it. Nannasprite and Jaspersprite hover near the ship.]
[Panel description: Inside the ship, Dave sprite hovers near John’s sleeping form. John is curled up asleep on the sofa next to a golden ring. The room around them is bright yellow and filled with junk from the kids’ homes, including several globes, a refrigerator, some stuffed toys, and a picture of a harlequin.]
Dave sprite: I probably should have said all this stuff when you were awake anyway. Like the stuff about friendship.
[Panel description: Dave sprite looks over his shoulder as the glowing silhouette of John appears. The sleeping John's speech bubble "Z" can still be seen. An exclamation point flashes above Dave sprite's head.]
Dave sprite: Fuck it I'll just.
John what the fuck are you doing here?