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Masochist

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“Shut up already, Shinoa!” Yūichirō rubbed at his temples, irritated by the words his friend was feeding to the group. Once again, she made it her life’s purpose to completely and utterly embarrass him.

 

       “Aw, Yū-san, are you blushing?” Shinoa poked his cheek from next to him in the booth they were sitting at. Mitsuba sat next to her, and across from them, Shihō and Yoichi awkwardly ate their food at the weird conversation they were having.

 

       Mitsuba snorted. “Gee, I don’t see what the big deal is. Aren’t boys always like that?”

 

       It was a wrong choice for her to defend Yūichirō, but he still appreciated it. He sent her a guilty look as Shinoa whipped her head so fast in the blond’s direction.

 

       “Oh, I know that’s not Micchan talking!” Shinoa exclaimed. “You’re clearly blushing, too, and we all know about your voyeurism kink! Dare I expl—”

 

       “Shut up already, Shinoa!” Mitsuba pushed her, and she ended up bumping into Yūichirō who nearly fell off the booth from all of that.

 

       “We can’t ever have a peaceful dinner,” Shihō said from across the table. “Shinoa, why are you so hyper today?”

 

       Shinoa slammed her hands on the table, rattling the plates and silverware. “Because! I’m so very excited for later tonight! You all should be, too. Especially you, Yū-san.”

 

       Yūichirō stared at his plate of food, wishing the day would be over already. He had to admit: he was excited. But he was trying hard to hold it all in, unlike her. She had been hyping up the group all day for the concert they’d be attending at around eight in the evening, which was three hours from the current time.

 

       He slowly picked up his fork to take a bite, lost in thought. It would be the first time he’d see the popular music artist, Mikaela Shindō. He had been a huge fan of the incredibly amazing blond ever since he heard one of his songs about two years ago. Since then, Yūichirō memorized the lyrics to every song, bought all of his merchandise, and defended him in every argument.

 

       And, unfortunately....

 

       Yoichi itched his cheek awkwardly. “You didn’t have to tell us that Yū-kun masturbated to him, though....”

 

       Yūichirō coughed up the food he choked on in that very moment.

 

       “I thought it was important!” Shinoa said with a clear smirk in her tone, patting Yūichirō’s back as he continued to clear his throat.

 

       “Yoichi!” Yūichirō exclaimed, wiping the corners of his eyes where tears had formed. “I thought you were on my side!”

 

       Yoichi’s olive green eyes widened. “What? I wasn’t taking sides! I didn’t say anything horrible, did I? I-I....”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms when Shinoa took her hand away. He knew he should have locked his door, but he was way too turned on to have the patience to do so. Besides, he wasn’t expecting Shinoa to barge in when he said he’d be out there in a minute!

 

       “It was only once,” Yūichirō said after a sigh, uncrossing his arms. “And he was the only thing I could think of at that... moment.”

 

       Shinoa rose her hand to her mouth and snickered hard, trying to stop herself from bursting out laughing.

 

       “Why is that funny?” he grumpily asked, feeling the heat in his ears. “I swear! I don’t even see him that way, okay? It just happened. I’m not gay.”

 

       “Okay,” Shihō grumbled. “God, we get it and we don’t care. You’re all making me lose my appetite.”

 

       “Yeah,” Mitsuba added, recovered from her blush-fest when Shinoa had turned on her. “I think I’m done now thanks to you three.”

 

       Yoichi made a hurt face, but before he could say anything, the waitress had passed their table and Shihō asked for the check.

 

       “Anyway,” Shinoa finally said after the moment of everyone cleaning up ended and their check was brought to the table. “I haven’t even told you guys my great plan yet.”

 

       Oh, God, Yūichirō thought as he pulled out his wallet. What is she up to now?

 

       “You all know how backstage passes are hard to get, right?” Shinoa went on, pulling out a twenty. “Well, I saw that they were sold out, so then I thought: what if we sneak in? Huh? Right?”

 

       The table went quiet as they all put their own money in the center to make up the total amount due.

 

       “Okay, keep your voices down, boys and girls!” Shinoa sarcastically said. “I know that it’s going to be a fantastic plan. His room must be easy to find, so all we really have to do is wait—”

 

       “I’m against this,” Yūichirō interrupted after thinking for a good moment. “He’s going to be tired after the show. Why should we bother him after he came all the way here to do something for us?”

 

       Shinoa rolled her eyes at him. “It’ll be before the show, idiot. And so what? Backstage passes aren’t cheap. He should be a little more consid—” she paused, probably noticing Yūichirō’s eyes widening and mouth opening to the start of another long argument with him defending Mikaela.

 

       “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” she then said, turning away. “But fine, if you want to be a big baby.... Just know this is probably your last chance to ever see him.”

 

       That was true. He’d get to watch Mikaela perform in person, yes, but that would be it. The chance that the music artist would be back in such an uncommon place was highly unlikely.

 

       Yūichirō wished he could have gotten backstage passes. He just didn’t have the money, and it was already enough to be able to afford the tickets in the first place. They weren’t even in the front!

 

       Oh, well, Yūichirō thought grimly, getting up from the booth after the waitress picked up the check. I’m supporting him! That’s all that matters. I’ll cheer for him and sing along and everything! He’ll appreciate that.

 

       He pulled out his phone to check the time while he waited for his friends to get up, too. There were still three hours left before the show started, but they were planning on going two hours earlier. That meant their next destination was the concert. Yūichirō urged his friends to hurry up, and as they were on the road again, he listened to Mikaela’s music and wished for a chance to be able to speak with him.



....



This is a lot louder than I thought it would be. Yūichirō covered his ears at the sound of screaming fans, all excited to see the great Mikaela preform. He was excited, too, but their seats were shit, and from the back of the crowd, he could see almost nothing.

 

       “,” Mitsuba said from next to him loudly, tugging on his arm to pull his hand away from his ear.

 

       Yūichirō did just that and leaned towards her, listening to what she had to say. His eyes widened. “We can’t,” Yūichirō replied in her ear. “If we’re caught, we’ll probably be kicked out. I doubt there are any seats up there.”

 

       “Shinoa knows what she’s doing,” she responded. “It’s her idea. Anyway, we’re not going to see anything like this.”

 

       Reluctantly, Yūichirō let himself be pulled away from his current seat, dragged by Mitsuba as she presumably followed Shinoa—somehow, as the other girl was way too short to be noticed. That was probably why they were moving in the first place. Poor Shinoa couldn’t even see the back of anyone’s head.

 

       As they pushed past people—who were rather annoyed that they were moving—Yūichirō could hear the microphone on stage be tapped, and everyone quieted down. He assumed Mikaela was there now.

 

       Urged by the desire to see him, Yūichirō forcibly pulled his arm away and paused in the middle of two girls. He met his eyes to the stage and saw the very person he’d only dream of meeting.

 

       Mikaela Shindō looked as elegant as ever. He wore his usual white outfit, though this time without the cape. He knew there were two other colors—gold and black—but he couldn’t even see them. That realization reminded him that he was supposed to be following his friends to get a better view.

 

       Yūichirō looked in the direction of where he was being pulled to, and to his alarm, he couldn’t see them at all. Mitsuba’s golden blonde hair was nowhere to be seen, nor Shihō’s pink, noticeable hair. He had lost them completely.

 

       “Move!” one of the girls behind him said, pushing him to the side and away from her. He stumbled forward and nearly tripped over the next person. Then, even though Mikaela was currently talking to the crowd, he spun around and opened his mouth to cuss at the girl who pushed him.

 

       “Yū! What are you doing?” Shinoa yelled over the sound of the cheering, pulling his arm from behind him. “I thought I lost you for good.”

 

       Yūichirō’s annoyance died down as he instead focused on the fact that he was supposed to find his friends. “Where did you guys go?”

 

       “Where did you go?” she retorted, pulling him along just as Mitsuba had. “I think we lost them, too. I had to stop and come looking for you.”

 

       Yūichirō guessed Shinoa had to be the one to find him because she was so small and she could weave through the crowd easily. “Where are we going?” he asked, ducking his head as they began to get closer towards the stage. How were they even allowed to walk freely?

 

       “To the screen,” she said when it quieted down and soft music began to play.

 

       Once again, Yūichirō paused, this time between a guy and a girl. Shinoa kept tugging his arm, though she seemed to realize that he wouldn’t budge, so she stopped pulling.

 

       He’s so beautiful, Yūichirō said in awe, closing his eyes at the sweet tone of one of Mikaela’s softer songs. He let the melody fill him up completely until Shinoa interrupted just as Mikaela began to sing.

 

       “We have to go,” she said blinking nervously between the two people behind her and Yūichirō. “Come on. This concert’s long enough. You can see him perform everything el—”

 

       “Shh!”

 

       Yūichirō felt himself being pushed before Shinoa tugged him forward again. They were walking for what felt like forever, though it was really only three minutes as Mikaela’s first song ended. Shinoa had paused when they were near the screen, and Yūichirō blinked his wide green eyes at the beauty that was Mikaela.

 

       His platinum blond hair framed his face perfectly as he had it down. The hair at the top of his head stuck out almost as Yūichirō’s did, and his blue eyes seemed brighter than ever as he smiled while the crowd cheered and applauded at his first performance.

 

       I love him, Yūichirō thought, his heart beating fast and hard. He felt so emotional seeing his favorite singer up on stage—even through a screen. The quality was just so amazing it was like he was really there.

 

       I’m so glad you exist, Mika. You’ve made my life so much better, and I love all the songs you’ve ever made. Yūichirō sighed as the next song began to play. I wish we could meet for real.

Chapter Text

This isn’t where we came from.

 

       “Shinoa, where are you taking me?” Yūichirō asked when all the sounds were drowned out after they went through a door that said it was an exit. But instead, they were only walking down a hallway that didn’t look like it led to the outside.

 

       “We’re grouping,” she replied, about to make a turn, though as Yūichirō read one of the door signs, he knew immediately that she was lying.

 

       He forcibly pulled his hand away. “We can’t!” he exclaimed, looking deep into her scheming eyes when she turned around. “This is so wrong.”

 

       “No it’s not,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Come on, I know you want to talk with him! We have to find his room before—”

 

       “No!” Despite his words, Yūichirō stood there instead of leaving. Deep down, he wished he could. But Mikaela had worked so hard during the concert! He was probably exhausted and all he wanted was to rest. A couple of fans pestering him to talk would be the last thing he needed.

 

       The thoughts were enough to finally make him turn around, but Shinoa caught his hand before he could walk. “It’s this way,” she said, not referring to the exit.

 

       “Shinoa, I said no.” Yūichirō pulled his hand away and started walking back down, but he saw the door open and the black outfits of security. “Oh shit.”

 

       “Damn it, Yū,” she said, not even needing to grab his hand as they turned the hall and speed-walked down the next one. They didn’t hear any hurrying footsteps behind them, so as they paused at what was labeled as Mikaela’s door, Yūichirō continued to protest.

 

       Shinoa only opened the door and pushed him inside. “Stop being so—“

 

       “Hey, you there.”

 

       “Oh, God,” she said. “Yū, hide.”

 

       Before he could question anything, she shut the door in his face and he could hear both the rushing footsteps of two security guards.

 

       Shinoa, you idiot! Yūichirō turned around to look for somewhere to conceal himself. The room was rather small, and there wasn’t really anything but a two-seater couch, a mirror and a chair in the far left. He could see the wall indent up ahead, and there were brown sliding closet doors right before it.

 

       Hurriedly, he went over to it and stepped inside, sliding it shut and crouching down. It was smaller than it looked inside, and it was empty. Yūichirō could see through the blinds, though. The mirror reflected his hiding spot and the top of the couch.

 

       Okay, he thought, squeezing his eyes closed. Now I’m in some deep shit thanks to Shinoa. He guiltily sighed and leaned back against the wall. If only I just ran. But I did want to see him.... I would have run into those guys, anyway.

 

       Yūichirō pulled out his phone from his back pocket to check the time. It was nearly eleven, and he had told his parents he would be back before midnight. How long would he have to hide there? What if Mikaela showed up? Then he’d have to stay quiet and pray he didn’t check the closet. Which he probably wouldn’t do, because it was empty, anyway. He wasn’t using it.

 

       I’m going to be so close to him, Yūichirō thought, covering his mouth with his other hand. Not closer than everyone who had those backstage passes, but I’d be alone with him.

 

       He jumped when his phone buzzed in his hand, and he quickly put it on silent.

 

Shinoa, 10:47: dont come out. cant talk being chased just stay put until i say smth

 

Yū, 10:47: shinoa u shit hurry up

 

       Yūichirō clicked his phone off grumpily, about to curse under his breath, but the door opened. He tucked his phone away and moved so that both of his hands were down on the ground. Then, he leaned forward to see the one and only Mikaela through the several slits.

 

       “What do you mean, ‘it’s booked’?” Mikaela said as he closed the door behind him, sounding irritated. “Are you saying that my hotel room became occupied by someone else?”

 

       There was silence for a moment until Mikaela was speaking up again. “Damn him,” he cursed, nearly surprising Yūichirō. Even if it wasn’t that bad of a word, he never thought Mikaela was the cursing type. “Fuck it. Never mind. I’ll find something. No, I don’t care. See you tomorrow if I don’t blow my brains out by then.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes were already widened at the second curse word he heard, but that last sentence? Now he was completely and utterly confused. Mikaela wasn’t like this at all! He was nice and friendly and he never said anything mean or gruesome! He was an angel!

 

       The blond sighed and tossed his phone on the couch before digging into his back pockets for something. Once again, Yūichirō was taken aback when he noticed that it was a pack of cigarettes.

 

       No, something isn’t right here, he thought, feeling sick to his stomach. This isn’t the Mikaela all of us know! This can’t be real... this isn’t right. He would never....

 

       But Yūichirō watched as he pulled a cigarette out, set the box on the small table next to the couch, and lit it up. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing! Everything was wrong. So, so wrong....

 

       Mikaela sat down on the couch, the cigarette now in his mouth. He began to push his hair back as if to tie it, though his phone started ringing, so the blond picked it up.

 

       “Fuck off already,” he said to whoever he was talking to after pulling the cigarette out and puffing out smoke. “I’m not having sex with you, you stupid b—”

 

       Yūichirō covered his ears. He wanted to cry even though he never did. Not since he started listening to Mikaela’s music. But the person he was seeing and hearing now was nothing like the person he’d always look up to and adore. This person couldn’t be him....

 

       He’s only smoking, Yūichirō thought, closing his eyes. Maybe he has an addiction he can’t get rid of or something! And he’s only cursing because he’s stressed out. Yūichirō nearly let out a deep breath, though he thought better of it. This isn’t as bad as it feels. But I knew we shouldn’t have tried to bother him.

 

       Yūichirō looked up and uncovered his ears. Mikaela was silent again, phone on the couch, though this time he was standing up and taking off his white blazer. The cigarette smell finally made it to Yūichirō’s nose, and he wanted to cough.

 

       I definitely can’t be caught. If he finds me, who knows what’s going to happen? I know he won’t do anything to me because he’s not like that, but.... I feel like this is supposed to be a secret.

 

       Yūichirō felt his heart drop. Mikaela was talking about a hotel earlier. That meant he had nowhere to stay, right? He wouldn’t sleep the night on the couch, would he...?

 

       As quietly as possible, Yūichirō pulled out his phone. Shinoa hadn’t texted him back yet.

 

Yū, 10:58: shinoa i dont think mikas going to leave any time soon please help me. distract him or something so i can escape

 

       He stared at his phone helplessly as no three dots indicating Shinoa was typing appeared. Mikaela didn’t undress too much, though now he was wearing his black dress shirt, still buttoned up. He had put out his cigarette at some point, and he was sitting on the couch again, staring ahead at nothing.

 

Yū, 11:00: shinoa please

 

Shinoa, 11:00: im sry they kicked me out i cant get back in just wait it out

 

       Yūichirō didn’t have time to start replying angrily. His attention was taken away because he heard the door open.

 

       “Everything okay in here?” a familiar voice asked, sounding like the security guy from earlier.

 

       “Yes,” Mikaela said in his more angelic-sounding voice, though there was no way to mask the smell of smoke. “Sorry about the odor. It was like that when I got here,” he lied.

 

       He’s lying straight through his teeth like it’s nothing....  Yūichirō shook his head. Mika....

 

       “Is there something wrong?” Mikaela questioned, clearly wondering why the guy had asked.

 

       “We just saw some kid running down here. I thought there was two of them and one of them was hiding, but if everything is fine here....”

 

       Mikaela leaned forward. “Oh, really? Well, there’s no one here, I don’t think. I would have heard them, surely.” He glanced behind him for a quick second, though he gave the closet a longer look.

 

       Oh shit.

 

       “I see. Good to hear you’re undisturbed. I’ll keep looking just in case, though.”

 

       “Thank you,” Mikaela said kindly, leaning back. The door then closed, and after a few seconds, he got up.

 

       Please, no, Yūichirō thought, intertwining his fingers together and squeezing. God, if you’re listening, please don’t let him find me. Please don’t make him look. Please.

 

       God must have heard his prayers because Mikaela was only locking the door. Yūichirō had heard the click, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he clamped a hand over his mouth. Mikaela didn’t seem to hear him.

 

       Wow, God, thank you so much! You’re a god. Well, literally but—

 

       “Hmm,” Mikaela hummed, walking down further into the room where it indented. Yūichirō couldn’t see him anymore. He unlocked his phone to see Shinoa sent him another message.

 

Shinoa, 11:03: just talk to him lol wtf hes right there!!! dont be a wuss

 

Yū, 11:07: u dont understand

 

       Yūichirō started typing about how he couldn’t because he was sure what he just saw was supposed to be a secret, but he paused before sending it.

 

       He couldn’t tell her that! He didn’t want to jeopardize Mikaela’s career. The media was insane. Even though it was just cussing and smoking, they’d twist it to ruin his life. He trusted Shinoa, but he knew what he witnessed shouldn’t be told or known to other people.

 

       Other than the people Mikaela cursed at, or the cashiers he bought the cigarettes from.

 

       Still, Yūichirō didn’t want anyone else to know. He wouldn’t do that to Mikaela, no matter what kind of person he really was. He had done so much for Yūichirō without even knowing he existed.

 

       But before Yūichirō could delete the message completely, the closet door swung open, and his green eyes met blue.

 

       “I’m sorry!” Yūichirō quickly apologized. He jumped up to his feet and shook his head. “You see, my friend wanted to come see you, and I didn’t want to bother you, but she dragged me here—”

 

       His phone was snatched from his hands. Mikaela blinked several times at it before holding it up for Yūichirō to see. “You were about to tell.”

 

       “N-no,” he said hurriedly. “I wasn’t going to. I thought about it and—”

 

       “Are you lying to me?” Mikaela asked, staring straight into Yūichirō’s eyes. Now that they were face-to-face, Yūichirō noticed Mikaela was a few inches taller than him. Which didn’t really matter in the current circumstance, so he quickly cleared the thought.

 

       “No, I swear....”

 

       Mikaela stared at him before raising his phone up high and slamming it down on the floor. The cheap case protecting it split away, the screen probably shattered, and the battery popped out from the back. Yūichirō’s mouth opened at the sight. His parents would kill him.

 

       “Why would you—!”

 

       Mikaela grabbed the top of his shirt to interrupt him, pulling him closer and inspecting Yūichirō’s face with his interested blue eyes. “What do I do with you...?”

 

       Yūichirō squeezed his eyes shut, reluctantly breathing in the smell of Mikaela’s cigarette-covered breath, laced with mint. He felt his shirt be released after a moment, and he stepped back and opened his eyes.

 

       “So, you saw everything, huh?” Mikaela walked over to the table and picked up his pack of cigarettes again. “You fans are entirely out of your minds to be snooping around like this.”

 

       Yūichirō gripped the side of the closet door. “I swear I didn’t want to be here. My friend forced me, and then the security guys chased after us and I was forced in here. Believe me, Mika! I wouldn’t ever—”

 

       “‘Mika’?” Mikaela repeated, facing him as he lit up another cigarette despite just doing so a few minutes ago. “I don’t know you for you to be calling me that.”

 

       Yūichirō looked down. “I meant Mikaela... it slipped....”

 

       “No. It’s Shindō. Speaking of, what’s your name?”

 

       “Yūichirō,” he mumbled, staring at his own shoes uncomfortably. “Ichinose....”

 

       “I’m guessing Yūichirō is your first?” Mikaela sat down on the couch again. “Sit.”

 

       Yūichirō stayed put, though he looked up at Mikaela. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear. So can you let me go? I....”

 

       “I said sit,” he repeated, staring ahead as he put the cigarette back in his mouth.

 

       He hesitated for a moment before obliging. He didn’t want to test Mikaela’s patience after seeing what the blond did to his phone. Yūichirō made sure to sit as far away as possible.

 

       It was quiet for a good, awkward second. Yūichirō wanted to disappear.

 

       “How long have you been a fan?” Mikaela asked casually.

 

       Yūichirō squeezed his hands into fists on his lap. “About two years,” he said quietly.

 

       “I can’t hear you. Speak up.”

 

       “Two years,” Yūichirō repeated, raising his voice only a bit.

 

       “I see,” Mikaela said, breathing in the smoke. Yūichirō watched him from the corner of his eyes. “Usually girls are my demographic, so it’s nice to see a boy for once.”

 

       Yūichirō nervously looked off to the side. “Um... what do you plan on doing with me...? Can’t you just let me go?”

 

       “Of course not. You know something you shouldn’t. How can I trust you to keep it a secret? You were about to tell your friend.”

 

       “I wasn’t.... S-Shindō, I won’t tell anyone. I promise. I don’t want to ruin your career.”

 

       Mikaela flicked the ashes on the floor in front of him. Yūichirō watched him breathe in some more smoke before closing the space between them.

 

       “I can’t be sure of that,” Mikaela said before putting the cigarette in his mouth, leaning in closer to Yūichirō. He forced his green eyes ahead of him to avoid looking at Mikaela, but the blond had gripped his chin and forced his head to face him. With a free hand, Mikaela pulled out the cigarette and puffed all the smoke into Yūichirō’s face, immediately making his eyes water. He coughed after looking the other way.

 

       How am I going to get myself out of this? Yūichirō thought, clearing his throat. What’s he going to do to me?

 

       “Okay,” Mikaela said once Yūichirō’s coughing fit ended. “Get on your knees.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened. “What—”

 

       “If you want to get out of here, do it now.”

 

       He blinked several times, unsure of what was about to happen. He had an idea, but he didn’t want to think about it. Yūichirō hesitantly moved from the couch and went down to the floor.

 

       “In front of me,” Mikaela ordered. When Yūichirō glanced at the blond, he noticed that he had moved to the edge of the couch, and his legs were spread open, though not too wide.

 

       There is no god.

 

       “Like this...?” Yūichirō didn’t dare meet Mikaela’s eyes when he had finally moved to the spot between his legs, his head right in the middle of Mikaela’s knees.

 

       Mikaela was busy smoking, so he didn’t reply immediately. After he breathed out the smoke, he said, “Do you know what I’m about to ask of you?”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head.

 

       “Really? Can you take a guess, at least?”

 

       “I don’t know,” Yūichirō mumbled, finding his eyes staring at Mikaela’s crotch. Is this really happening? He... no! No. This isn’t real.

 

       Mikaela leaned forward and gripped Yūichirō’s hair tightly. He winced at the slight pain, and his heart dropped when Mikaela pulled him towards his crotch. Yūichirō was only inches away from....

 

       “How about now?” Mikaela asked. Yūichirō had to put his hands on Mikaela’s knees to lean back a little bit. “I know you know. Go ahead. You want to, don’t you? I’ll let you leave.” The blond released Yūichirō’s black hair, presumably to let him do his thing.

 

       I feel sick, Yūichirō thought, squeezing his eyes shut. I don’t want to do this. This is so wrong. I might have jacked off to the thought of a similar situation earlier, but that doesn’t mean I want this. This isn’t right! This isn’t the Mikaela I know....

 

       Yūichirō moved his hands from Mikaela’s knees, and he rose himself up further. If I do this, I’ll get to go home and... forget about everything that happened, right? His fingers touched the button on his pants, and he gulped.

 

       “Wow,” Mikaela said after Yūichirō managed to unzip it completely. He noticed he wasn’t even getting hard despite Yūichirō touching him there. “Are you really going to do it?”

 

       Yūichirō managed to look up. “You... want me to, right? So I can leave?”

 

       “Of fucking course not. Get off of me.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened, and the heat rushed to his face immediately. He backed up, falling down on his ass as he tried to scramble away. “Wh-wh-wh-wh—then why would you—I....”

 

       Mikaela only stood up, zipped and buttoned up his pants, and put out his cigarette on the table. “So you’re one of the naughty fans, huh? You probably jack off to the thought of me. That’s disgusting.”

 

       Yūichirō felt his eyes sting. I’m so fucking... embarrassed.

 

       “I never really understood that type of stuff,” Mikaela said with a sigh, sitting back down on the couch away from Yūichirō. He rose a leg to cross over his knee, looking at Yūichirō with disappointment. “What a shame. I thought you were cute, but it turns out you’re just a dirty bitch. Just like the rest of them.”

 

       “No, I’m not!” Yūichirō shouted, scrambling up from the floor. He felt heartbroken and angry at the same time, offended by what Mikaela was saying about him. “I love your music, Mika,” he continued, feeling tears pool in his eyes. He glared at him, not caring he had used his nickname. “They got me through such tough times.... I was so lost without them. But the sound of your voice made me feel better.

 

       “I was so happy today,” Yūichirō went on, looking down. “I was so excited to finally see you perform in person. My friend wanted to disturb your peace after the show, and I was the only one who took how you felt into consideration. I knew you’d be tired and stressed, so no matter how I felt about never being able to see you again.... But now look! I’m here, and I saw something I shouldn’t have. I saw something that would change the way I feel about you and see you forever.

 

       “But I don’t care anymore!” Yūichirō shut his eyes, letting his tears fall. “No matter what, I’ll always love your music. I’ll always see you as a person who I look up to and admire so much.... We all have our tough times, okay? Sure you’re a mean person underneath the way you fool everyone with your bullshit, and I don’t care. I really like you and appreciate you, Mika. Nothing will ever—”

 

       “Shut up, you pathetic fuck,” Mikaela interrupted. Yūichirō, surprised, looked up to see Mikaela glaring him down. “Don’t lie to me. You’re only saying that because you want to leave.”

 

       “I’m n—”

 

       Mikaela stood up, making Yūichirō take a careful step back. “You want to suck on my cock, don’t you? You want me to fuck you deep and hard until you scream.”

 

       Yūichirō kept walking back as Mikaela advanced towards him.

 

       “You’re only attracted to how I look. You don’t care about me as a person. You’re just like everyone else.”

 

       “That’s not true—!” he protested, though he was cut off by his back hitting the wall and Mikaela’s hand covering his mouth, shoving his head back with a loud thump. He winced and brought a hand up to grab Mikaela’s wrist and try to pull it away.

 

       “I can’t trust you,” Mikaela told him, staring into Yūichirō’s green eyes. “I know you’ll tell someone. So should I keep you here?”

 

       Yūichirō hummed a no in response, managing to shake his head despite Mikaela’s death grip on his face.

 

       “Well, I can’t let you leave my sight, either....” Mikaela glanced away as if in thought, softening the hold against Yūichirō’s mouth. Then, a light bulb seemed to turn on in his head. He looked back to Yūichirō and released him. “Where do you live?”

 

       Yūichirō rubbed his face where Mikaela’s fingers had dug into. He sank against the wall a little. “Why...?”

 

       “Because I’m going to take you there.”

Chapter Text

Yūichirō stood at his front door. It was pitch black outside due to it being the middle of the night with no moon in the sky, and he could hear the crickets chirping loudly. Behind him stood none other than Mikaela Shindō. The blond was wearing dark sunglasses and a hoodie to cover the top of his head.

 

       This is such a bad idea, he thought, feeling extremely nervous. I can’t even believe this is happening, either. What would my friends think of this?

 

       Yūichirō pressed the doorbell again, guessing Mikaela was getting impatient behind him as he kept sighing several times while adjusting the duffel bag over his shoulder.

 

       “They probably fell asleep,” Yūichirō told him, keeping his eyes on the door. “I’d call them, but....” He painfully remembered the sight of his phone all broken on the floor. He could even feel the weight of the broken pieces in his pockets.

 

       “And why don’t you have a key?” Mikaela asked, pressing against him as he leaned forward to tap the doorbell several times. Before Yūichirō could answer, the door swung open.

 

       At the sound of his father’s voice, Yūichirō knew he’d be in deep shit.

 

       “Yūichirō,” Guren said, staring down at him with his purple eyes. “Do you know how worried Shinya was? And you weren’t even answering your phone. Care to—”

 

       Here we go, Yūichirō thought, pinching the bridge of his nose as Shinya, his other father, came into sight.

 

       “Yū, who is that?” Shinya asked, surprising him. He expected to be bombarded with a bunch of questions and fatherly concerns.

 

       “Excuse me,” Mikaela said in a nicer tone, pushing Yūichirō aside slightly to come into view. “I was waiting for the right time to introduce myself. You see, the hotel I’m supposed to be at had some issues, and your son overheard and offered a place for me to stay.”

 

       Yūichirō looked down guiltily. He didn’t want to see his parents being lied to. He hated how smooth Mikaela was with his words.

 

       “Did he now?” Guren said, sounding irritated.

 

       “Yes.” Mikaela then stepped closer to Yūichirō, and their shoulders brushed against each other. “He’s so kind! I’m glad I ran into him. This is okay, right? I mean, it’ll only be for one day, if that’s fine.... I won’t be a burden, I promise.”

 

       “Y—yeah,” Yūichirō said, catching the glance Mikaela gave him even though he couldn’t see his eyes. “I thought it’d... be okay.... You won’t even notice him.”

 

       Shinya and Guren exchanged glances. “I don’t know,” Shinya said, looking worried. “We don’t even know your name.”

 

       On cue, Mikaela pulled off his hood and took off his glasses. “It’s Mikaela. Mikaela Shindō.”

 

       “Oh!” Shinya exclaimed, now excited despite the time of day. “Whoa, no way! Yū, nice one! Come in, come in.”

 

       Guren elbowed him. “We’re not seriously going to—”

 

       “Shh,” Shinya hushed, opening up the door wider. Mikaela gave Yūichirō a smug look, though he glanced between him and the door, a silent gesture for him to go in first, which he did.

 

       “Are you okay?” Shinya asked after closing the door behind the two of them. “It’s so late at night and we know Yū was attending your concert. You couldn’t find another hotel to stay at, either?”

 

       “Oh, no,” Mikaela said. Yūichirō watched Shinya lead him up the stairs as they kept talking. “You see, my manager....”

 

       “Tch.” Guren crossed his arms. So did Yūichirō. “Great, Yū. Now Shinya’s going to be nonstop talking about this. And how the hell did you manage to get a music artist to come to your house? The fuck....”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. He was tired. He wanted to sleep off the day and wake up and see that Mikaela wasn’t there and the entire thing was just a dream.

 

       “What happened to your phone?” Guren asked, turning to face him.

 

       “Okay, so you’re gonna be mad, but it wasn’t my fault. Mika—”

 

       “Hey,” a voice interrupted up ahead. Mikaela peeked his head out from the edge of the staircase wall. “Yū-chan, aren’t you going to come with us? Shinya said I could sleep in your room, so it’d be nice for you to show me around.... Your parents are too tired, after all.”

 

       Yūichirō gulped, feeling Guren stare into his soul at the random nickname coming from Mikaela. “I’ll be there in a second—”

 

       “I’d like to sleep now, though....” Mikaela was glaring Yūichirō down, but when Guren turned around, the only emotion he showed was hurt. “You don’t want to do that for me...?”

 

       “Just go,” Guren said, shaking his head. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow. I need some water....”

 

       Reluctantly, Yūichirō walked towards the stairs without Guren: his possible witness. When his father turned around to enter the kitchen, Mikaela’s expression dropped, and he walked up the stairs without Yūichirō. He followed behind the blond until Mikaela stopped for him to take the lead.

 

       “Goodnight, Shinya,” Yūichirō said, glancing at the half-opened door across the hall to his immediate left. Shinya opened it wider at his voice and gave him a wave.

 

       “Goodnight Mikaela, Yū! We’ll properly introduce ourselves in the morning, okay?”

 

       After the two boys nodded and walked away, they heard the door close. Yūichirō opened his own door and breathed in the cool air that belonged to his recently cleaned room. It was good to be home.

 

       Mikaela shoved Yūichirō forward since he was blocking the way. As he stumbled, the door shut behind them. And just as he caught his balance, Mikaela pushed him to the ground.

 

       “Hey—!” he started angrily, turning around from the floor to look up at Mikaela. The blond had set his duffel bag down, and his expression was dark. It made Yūichirō go quiet.

 

       “You don’t seem to recall the deal we made,” Mikaela started, walking forward and dropping to his knees once Yūichirō’s hips were in between them. “What were you about to tell your father?”

 

       Yūichirō blinked rapidly in confusion, his brain entirely too slow from his exhaustion. Mikaela leaned towards him as Yūichirō propped himself up on his elbows. Once again, there was a hand in his hair, Mikaela gripping the strands together tightly to shove him back to the ground.

 

       “Nothing!” Yūichirō answered, staring at the ceiling above him, wishing he could do something. He’d call for his parents, but what if they saw them like that? What if Mikaela managed to get off of him in time and play it off? And when Guren or Shinya leaves, what would Mikaela do to him?

 

       “Don’t lie to me,” Mikaela seethed, releasing his hair. “Everything that just happened between us stays between us. You’re not allowed to tell anyone. Ever.”

 

       “I know,” Yūichirō nearly whimpered, trying to ignore the feeling of their dicks being pressed together. He knew Mikaela wasn’t doing it on purpose, but the more they stayed like that, the more he’d start to naturally feel some type of way. And he didn’t want Mikaela to notice it.

 

       Mikaela got off of him though. Yūichirō breathed out a sigh of relief.

 

       “Honestly,” the blond started, crouching down near his duffel bag to unzip it. “How do you expect me to trust you when you were about to spill?”

 

       Yūichirō stood up from the floor slowly, then turned to head to his dresser. He didn’t even bother to answer because Mikaela was just saying a bunch of bullshit. He wasn’t going to tell! Why couldn’t the blond understand that?

 

       “Your father said I could sleep on your bed,” Mikaela said pointedly from across the room. “Guess that means you’re on the floor.”

 

       Yūichirō slammed the drawer he was looking through shut. He felt annoyance bubbling through his veins, feeling like he’d snap at any moment. Instead, he rose a shaky hand to his hair and combed it back.

 

       It’s okay, he told himself, squeezing his hair between his fingers. It’s just one day that I have to deal with him. Even though I wanted some rest in the comfort of my fucking bed, I’ll deal with the floor. Yūichirō squeezed harder, remembering the feeling of Mikaela doing it to him instead.

 

       He released his hair and began to look through another drawer, finding clothes to change into to sleep. I’ll shower in the morning, he thought to himself, trying to forget about Mikaela’s existence. Maybe I can get a new phone if I think up a really good excuse.

 

       When Yūichirō found a decent sleeved-shirt and long sweatpants, he turned around to announce that he was going to change in the bathroom. But his voice caught in his throat at the sight of Mikaela’s completely bare lower half. At least he was wearing a shirt.

 

       Immediately, he looked away, shielding his eyes subconsciously and biting his lower lip. He felt heat rise to his face and his body shuddered.

 

       “What?” Mikaela said, no emotion in his voice. “You act like you’ve never seen a dick before.”

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t respond. The image was burning into his mind.

 

       That was it. The sight that some fans of Mikaela’s wanted to see. The thing he could only picture in his thoughts on accident. Something he thought he would never know—he now knew.

 

       He heard shuffling around the room. The lights flicked off and it cued more shuffling until it eventually stopped. Yūichirō stood there, eyes shielded and face red.

 

       “See you in the morning,” Mikaela said with a sneer. “Ichinose.”


....


Yūichirō grumpily washed a plate in the sink, listening to the chatter of Shinya and Mikaela in the dining room. He was told to clean everyone’s dishes, including the blond’s, so that was exactly what he was doing.

 

       It was morning. Yūichirō and Mikaela had already taken their showers. They took it separately, but when Yūichirō had gotten out, he noticed that Mikaela was lurking around the door the entire time. The blond then insisted that Yūichirō stayed with him inside the bathroom with the reasoning of “I don’t want you to be alone. I know you’ll tell your parents, so stay with me.”

 

       It was awkward. But Yūichirō stared at the door the entire time and avoided looking in Mikaela’s direction. Nothing really happened during those long minutes, and his parents didn’t even know they were in the bathroom. He was extremely thankful; it would have been a weird conversation. He was sure not even Mikaela could think up a lie for that.

 

       As Yūichirō suddenly remembered seeing Mikaela nearly naked, the plate in his hand slipped and clattered noisily against the others he still had to wash. No one seemed to care because they continued carrying on about Mikaela’s career.

 

       This is so dumb,  Yūichirō thought, furrowing his brows and displaying his irritation. Why can’t he trust me? Why does he treat me like shit when I didn’t do anything to him? I would never, either! He sighed and set the now-clean plate on the other side. I wished to meet Mika, but not like this. Not with this side of him.

 

       Once he finished, he dried his hands and went back to the dining room. He needed to ask for permission to go see his friends now. They had planned on meeting up at Yoichi’s house to talk about the concert. He didn’t know if they were still planning to until Shinoa called Shinya’s phone. Shinya then told Yūichirō. And now that he did his chore, he just needed to tell them he was leaving.

 

       “Yeah, yeah,” Shinya said, waving Yūichirō off after he said what he was doing. “Sure, that’s fine.”

 

       Yūichirō caught Mikaela’s gaze, though he pretended not to see it casually. He quickly sped-walked out the dining room, but before he could get past the kitchen, Shinya called his name.

 

       “Yes?” Yūichirō asked calmly, ignoring the look Mikaela was giving him.

 

       “Did you take your meds?” Shinya asked, turning around in his chair.

 

       Yūichirō blinked rapidly. “Uh,” he mumbled, itching his cheek as he finally glanced at Mikaela’s confused yet interested expression. “No. I’ll do it now.”

 

       “Shinya,” Mikaela interrupted. “I loved this chat with you, but do you mind if I go with Yū-chan? I’d like to meet his friends....”

 

       “I don’t think—” Yūichirō started, but Shinya cut him off.

 

       “That sounds like a good idea!” Shinya said. “I’m sure they’d love to meet you. You won’t have a problem with paparazzi or anything, right?”

 

       Mikaela stood up and slid his chair in while Yūichirō slunk away slowly, trying to make a run for it without being noticed. “No. I’ll disguise myself. Besides, I doubt they know where I am. I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern.”

 

       Yūichirō opened up the fridge door once he made it into the kitchen and pulled out both bottles of his medication. He hurriedly opened the caps and poured one pill each into his hand, shoved it into his mouth, capped both of them, and before he could put it back inside in the mix of the other pills, Mikaela snatched them from him.

 

       “No!” Yūichirō said, mouth occupied with the pills. “Don’t—”

 

       “Holy shit,” Mikaela whispered, staring at the bottles before Yūichirō took it back. He stuffed them in the fridge and shut the door a little too harshly.

 

       Yūichirō felt both embarrassed and annoyed. “Why can’t you just mind your own damn business?” he said, glaring into the blond’s surprised blue eyes. The pills uncomfortably shuffled around in his mouth as he spoke. “I think I liked you better when I didn’t know you at all!”

 

       Mikaela’s surprised expression turned cold. “Oh? That doesn’t sound like something you would have said to me yesterday. This must be one of those bipolar episodes, huh? Better swallow those pills quick before you put a knife to my throat.”

 

       He fell silent immediately. Before he could reply, Shinya came through the arch that led to the dining room. “Everything okay over here?”

 

       “Yes,” Mikaela replied, studying Yūichirō’s expression. “We’re fine.”

 

       Yūichirō looked down to the floor. The pills in his mouth were starting to dissolve, so he knew he should drink water to swallow them down soon. But he was still surprised. He didn’t expect to hear that.

 

       When Shinya left, Mikaela moved from Yūichirō to open the fridge door. He pulled out the gallon of water and set it down on the counter. “You need water, don’t you?”

 

       “You…” Yūichirō started quietly when Mikaela left his side. “You don’t have to be such a dick. I never did anything to you, and it’s not going to make yours any bigger.”

 

       Mikaela was already standing in front of him again, pouring water into a glass cup. “You haven’t done anything yet. If I wasn’t here, you would have already. And that insult was weak,” he added, offering the glass of water to Yūichirō. “You say that though you know my dick is big enough already.”

 

       He reluctantly grabbed the cup from Mikaela, then turned around, taking a few gulps to swallow his pills.

 

       “I’m sorry,” Mikaela suddenly said once Yūichirō set the glass down. “I didn’t mean to say what I did about your condition. It slipped out.”

 

       Yūichirō wiped his lips. How do I know that’s not just another lie?  he wondered, still feeling hurt. “It’s whatever,” he said and moved around Mikaela to put back the gallon of water.

 

       “I mean it,” Mikaela continued. “I’m a music artist. I know a lot of people who are on antidepressants and the like. It’s tough, and I understand—”

 

       “I said it’s whatever,” Yūichirō interrupted, closing the fridge door and leaving the kitchen.

 

       Mikaela followed close behind him. “So what’s your story?” he asked without a shred of decency. “What’s wrong with you, exactly? What’s it like?”

 

       Yūichirō slipped on his shoes that were by the front door. “Shinya, I’m leaving!” he called out, not mentioning Guren because he was at work.

 

       “Don’t ignore me,” Mikaela said when Yūichirō swung the door open. “I want to know.”

 

       “Why do you care?” Yūichirō snapped, now watching Mikaela put on his own shoes as he faced him. “And you can’t just ask people that.”

 

       Mikaela shrugged. “I’ll tell you why I started smoking if you want. Then you tell me why you’re on drugs.”

 

       “Don’t word it like that,” Yūichirō mumbled, stepping out. He waited for Mikaela to tug on his hood and unhook the sunglasses from his shirt. The blond then pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

 

       “That’s basically what it is, though.” Mikaela lit it up in his mouth. “Deal?”

 

       Yūichirō stared at him. He was wearing the same white hood from last night. The deeply tinted sunglasses fit his face nicely, bits of his blonde hair peeped out the hood, and the cigarette at his lips made him look unreasonably sexy. Yūichirō was so busy being annoyed with him that he completely forgot how attractive Mikaela was. Even this side of him, who was more badass than angelic.

 

       Not that there was anything good about that, though.

 

       “My friends will smell the cigarette smoke off you, you know,” Yūichirō told him, peeling his eyes away from him. He felt a little awkward now, and he tried his best to ignore the thought that he was talking to a famous person. It didn’t feel like that anymore since Mikaela acted so differently.

 

       “That’s true,” Mikaela said thoughtfully. “But we’re not going to meet your friends, anyway.”

 

       “What?” Yūichirō asked, bewildered. “What are you talking about? Of course we—”

 

       Mikaela pulled out the cigarette from his mouth. “I need more cigarettes, stupid. I’m running out. And I am a celebrity, in case you forgot. I have stuff I need to do.”

 

       “Why drag me along, then?” Yūichirō stared after him as he started walking off. “I want to hang out with my friends.”

 

       “Like hell I’m going to leave you by yourself. Come on already.”

 

       Yūichirō grumbled to himself and followed Mikaela to his gold sedan. Mikaela had driven him in it when they arrived here, and at the time he forgot to be amazed at the beauty. It looked expensive, and he was way too nervous to even be sitting in it. Now, with how annoying Mikaela was becoming to him, he wanted to dump a bucket of white paint all over the black seats.

 

       The car beeped as they neared. Yūichirō entered the passenger seat and waited for Mikaela to finish smoking his cigarette before he entered.

 

       I guess I am kind of curious,  Yūichirō thought, watching Mikaela breathe out smoke. Why is he like this? What did he go through to be the way he is?  Yūichirō sighed and tugged on his seatbelt. I hope he forgets about my pills. As much as I want to know about him, I don’t want to explain my stupid life to anyone.

 

       “Alright,” Mikaela said after a long moment of breathing in and out poison. He tossed the cigarette somewhere and entered the car. “So, are you going to tell me?”

 

       Goddamnit.  Yūichirō leaned his head back. “No.”

 

       “Don’t be a little bitch,” Mikaela told him, locking the car doors and turning on the engine with the keys. “I offered to tell you about myself, so spill.”

 

       “Don’t call me that. And I don’t want to tell you, so leave it alone, okay? Aren’t you already asking too much of me?”

 

       “Fine,” Mikaela said. He took off his sunglasses and began to back out of the parking lot. “Anyway, just so you know, I don’t plan on leaving any time soon.”

 

       Yūichirō kept his eyes to the tinted windows. “Really,” he stated rather than asked, sounding uninterested.

 

       “I’m going to tell your parents something happened with the flight. Shinya loves me already, so I doubt it’ll be a problem.”

 

       “Why?” Yūichirō asked. “Why are you going to lie to them? Just leave. I’m sure you’re a very busy man. Why do you have to stay?”

 

       Mikaela continued to drive down the road and out of the neighborhood. “I have some other reasons, but the only one you need to know is that I need to keep my eyes on you.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t waste his time asking why Mikaela needed to watch over him. He knew why even though the reason was completely and utterly dumb. He seriously didn’t care anymore.

 

       “Anyway,” Mikaela went on, “We’re going to meet someone, then we’re going to a car dealership.”

 

       “Okay.”

 

       It went completely quiet after that. Neither of them said any words to each other, nor did they look in each other’s direction. Yūichirō enjoyed the silence, though he wished he had his friends around him talking nonsense.

 

       The ride took a little while. In reality, it was probably only ten minutes, but it felt longer. They had finally driven into a wide alleyway. It was dark despite the time of day, and everything was all over the place. Yūichirō felt extremely skeptical and nervous, though he tried not to make it obvious.

 

       This must be how he gets his cigarettes, then,  Yūichirō thought.  Of course, he couldn’t just buy it himself because he’d have to show ID and they might recognize him.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō said, trying to keep the fear out of his tone. “Why do you—”

 

       “It’s Shindō,” he corrected, eyes focused on the road that was getting narrow.

 

       “Why do you buy your cigarettes like this? You never know what people might put in them. You could die if—”

 

       Mikaela stopped the car. “Shut up. It’s from a person I trust somewhat. He has no business hurting me because I’m giving him a lot of money. He’d want it to keep coming. Stay here.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked several times as Mikaela got out of the car. “W—wait, don’t leave me—”

 

       The car door slammed shut. Mikaela turned a corner and disappeared completely from sight.

 

       Okay, think, Yū, he thought to himself, unbuckling his seatbelt. I could run off and hide somewhere, and then go home. Maybe it’d be a thirty-minute walk? Or twenty-minute run. Then I could tell Shinya that Mikaela left and he said he’d leave his stuff with me? Or that he’d come pick them up.

 

       He then shook his head. That won’t work. If Mikaela knows where I live, then he could lie his way back into my house. I can’t risk that. I’d definitely be on his bad side if I’m not already.

 

       Then again... if I told someone, it’s not like he has to keep my mouth shut anymore, right?

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t explore the thought. Mikaela had come back around the corner. He rushed to put on his seatbelt and hoped Mikaela didn’t see.

 

       “Fuck,” Mikaela said once he entered the car. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number, then put it to his ear and began backing out without putting on his seatbelt or looking behind them. “You’re done?” he then asked to whoever he was talking to.

 

       Now I sit here awkwardly listening to this conversation.

 

       “The fuck? Why?”

 

       Yūichirō could only faintly hear the person speaking through the phone, but he couldn’t make out the words.

 

       “I did—'calm down’? What the hell am I going to do, Crowley? I’m stuck here for a fucking month because Ferid—” Mikaela paused, probably listening to what they were saying. He sighed after a short moment, slowing the car to a stop, still in the alleyway. “It’s complicated and I can’t talk about it right now—” a glance at Yūichirō— “but I’ll tell you some other time. Just—fuck, alright. No, no, it’s fine. Bye.”

 

       Yūichirō sat there quietly, staring at his lap as Mikaela set his phone down. The car moved again, this time with Mikaela looking back to see where he was going with his seatbelt on. Soon, they were out into the light again, and on the road.

 

       “Hey, Ichinose,” Mikaela said, breaking the silence. “I need you to do a favor for me.”

 

       He had a bad feeling about that. “Uh....”

 

       As Mikaela drove, he pulled out a few bucks from his front pockets. “You have to buy cigarettes for—”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō immediately said, turning to look at Mikaela whose eyes were trained on the road. “No. Please, no. I don’t want to get into legal trouble. I’m only eighteen. There’s no way—”

 

       “I’ll make you look older,” he said. “More mature. I really need these cigarettes.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, looking away. “No. Can’t you just get over it? You don’t have to—”

 

       “Can’t you get over your depression?” Mikaela retorted. “I don’t think it works like that, dumbass.”

 

       He sunk down in the seat a little. “I meant... I don’t know! Replace it with something else.... Find something to distract you when you feel like smoking. You must have a few left, right? If it gets really bad, have comfort in knowing you—”

 

       “Jesus fuck, what are you, my therapist? Shut up.”

 

       Yūichirō shut his mouth as soon as Mikaela said to. Though, a second later, “I can’t do it. I’m sorry. I won’t.”

 

       “Whatever,” Mikaela said, continuing to drive after making a turn. “I know you’re useless, anyway. It wouldn’t have worked out.”

 

       Why does he have to say that to me...? He shook his head to clear his thoughts, wishing he still had his phone so he could play Mikaela’s—

 

       Would it be the same? After everything that had happened in the past day, could he still listen to Mikaela’s music and feel at peace just as always? Or would it be so different now?

 

       The thought scared him. What could he do now whenever his thoughts raced too much? What would keep him from tying a noose around his neck?

 

       Yūichirō reached over to turn on the radio. He couldn’t let his thoughts continue. He was feeling horrible. Maybe one of Mikaela’s songs would come on for once, and he’d get his answer.

 

       But Mikaela slapped his hand away. “What are you doing?”

 

       “Radio,” he said, reaching over again. “I want to listen to music.”

 

       “No,” Mikaela said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it harshly. “I don’t want to hear anything right now.”

 

       Yūichirō opened his mouth to say please, but he thought better of it. There was no point in begging. He pulled his hand away and closed his eyes again, forcing one of his favorite songs of Mikaela’s into his head. He caught the first lyric and began to sing it over in his thoughts, continuing on as somewhere in the back of his head, the melody played.

 

       This isn’t so bad, he thought, letting the song die down a bit. It still makes me feel happy. I love this song so much....

 

       “You look like a fucking idiot,” Mikaela said, interrupting him. His voice almost matched the one he was thinking in his head, nearly making Yūichirō jump in his seat. “It’s like you’re thinking too hard. It’s pissing me off.”

 

       Yūichirō glared at Mikaela. “I’m singing a song in my head. If I can’t listen to the radio, you have to at least let me do this.”

 

       “I don’t have to let you do anything,” Mikaela responded, bringing the car to a stop at a red light. “But fine. Just try not to look like a moron.”

 

       He was about to continue hearing the song in his head, but he felt too frustrated to bother trying.

 

       “What song is it?” Mikaela asked, which would have disrupted his thoughts anyway.

 

       Yūichirō moved to his side and looked out the window, Mikaela completely gone from his vision. He didn’t respond.

 

       “I hate a lot of things,” Mikaela said, seemingly randomly. It made more sense when he completed his sentence: “People ignoring me when I’m talking to them is on that list.”

 

       “It’s one of yours,” Yūichirō answered. “Okay? Stop asking me things.”

 

       “Which one?” Mikaela asked despite his request. “Maybe I’ll sing it for you.”

 

       To that, he perked up in his chair. It’d almost be like a concert, he thought excitedly, though his irritation with Mikaela wasn’t forgotten. Do I even want to hear him sing at this point? That reminds me of when he was on stage.... He looked so pure and happy. It’s like he’s an entirely different person now.

 

       “No, thanks,” Yūichirō said reluctantly, slumping down again.

 

       But Mikaela started humming anyway, and Yūichirō immediately recognized the melody as one of the first songs he heard. The nostalgia hit him hard, reminding him of all the things he went through at that time. He still listened to the song, but not as often. And now that he was hearing it again, from a different version of Mikaela, he didn’t like how it was making him feel.

 

       “Stop,” Yūichirō told him, sending him a very irritated look. When Mikaela neared the chorus, he opened his mouth, and Yūichirō immediately covered his ears when he started singing.

 

       He’s such a dick,  Yūichirō thought, squeezing his eyes closed as if they would help drown out the sound. Why is he so mean to me? Does he think this is a joke? I feel horrible....

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō said loudly, opening his eyes and looking at the blond who was still singing and driving. “Mika! Mika!”

 

       He didn’t stop.

 

       “Mika, I have a question!”

 

       When the chorus ended, Mikaela started singing another one of his songs. It was one Yūichirō wasn’t entirely familiar with, though he knew it was one of the ones where the vocals were really hard to hit. But Mikaela sang each note perfectly.

 

       “Stop, Mika! Stop!” Yūichirō felt himself start to smile stupidly. He found the situation funny now with how Mikaela looked, just singing and making a turn into the next road.

 

       Why is he like this?  Yūichirō uncovered his ears and groaned when Mikaela started singing the second verse.

 

       “Okay,” Mikaela finally said, clearing his throat. “Okay. What’s your question? Or did you just say that to get me to shut up?”

 

       “Are we still going to the car place thing?” Yūichirō asked, rubbing his cheeks as if clearing his smile. “I don’t think there’s any on this side of town....”

 

       “I’ve been driving around for a gas station,” Mikaela said. “I don’t know this place very well, and my GPS system is fucked.”

 

       “You don’t need to curse all the time,” Yūichirō mumbled, feeling a little disappointed after the moment they just had. Maybe it was hypocritical for him to say, though. He regretted his words.

 

       As he expected, Mikaela called him out on that. “Like you don’t do it a lot, either. I remember seeing your texts, and I’ve heard you say a few things in the shower.”

 

       Yūichirō winced, remembering how the cap on the bottle of soap popped out and all of it fell to the floor. Not only that, but when he had entered the shower, the water was blazing hot. He was distracted thinking about Mikaela to remember to check the temperature before going in. “Yeah,” he said, “because you’re a weird stalker....”

 

       “I’m not,” he replied, sounding serious. “You obviously don’t know what stalkers are like to be saying that. Anyway, I have to keep my eye on you in case you try anything funny. Completely reasonable.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes. “You’ve had stalkers?” he asked, intrigued.

 

       “I’d tell you a bunch of stories about them if you want.”

 

       At that, he got excited. “R—”

 

       “But first you’ll have to tell me how you got so fucked up.”

 

       Yūichirō’s excitement died away. He wanted to hear one of Mikaela’s ‘I’m a famous person’ stories! And now that he thought about it, he could even ask Mikaela a bunch of questions he had always wanted to! Was that false, was this false, did this happen or did that happen? He wouldn’t give in, though.

 

       “Why do you wanna know so bad?” Yūichirō asked curiously. “I don’t see how it concerns you....”

 

       “Because I’m interested.” Mikaela finally pulled up into a gas station. “I’ll get you to tell me one of these days. Just wait.”

 

       One of these days, huh?  Yūichirō leaned back in the seat. He said he was stuck here for a month on the phone.... Don’t tell me he’s going to be hanging around for that long....

 

       “Do you want anything?” Mikaela asked, unbuckling his seatbelt after he had parked. He reached over for his sunglasses and put them on. “I’m not sure if I’ll get away with a pack of cigarettes, but if I do, then I could get you a snack or drink or something.”

 

       “I’m fine,” Yūichirō responded, turning the other way to avoid Mikaela’s gaze. “Do you have to buy more, though? Can’t you try that thing I told you to do?”

 

       But Mikaela was already closing the car door. Yūichirō sighed and watched him enter the store. Then he noticed that the blond left his phone again.

 

       He wondered for a long moment if he should try looking through it, though some part of him knew it was a bad idea. He didn’t want to be caught and lose Mikaela’s trust for good, and he was sure it had a lock on it, anyway.

 

       Yūichirō stopped looking at his phone and instead strained to see through the glass windows. He could see the top of Mikaela’s white hoodie behind a shelf, but that was it. Mikaela seemed to stand there for a bit, and Yūichirō nearly became uninterested to the point of looking away. Then he moved.

 

       He leaned back in his seat to not seem eager when Mikaela left the store, empty-handed. A few seconds later, he was back in the car, tugging off his glasses.

 

       “I think,” Yūichirō started carefully, planning out his words ahead of time. “That it’s not such a bad idea if you’re doing something you love....”

 

       “What the hell are you talking about?” Mikaela asked, putting the car in reverse.

 

       “My idea,” Yūichirō replied. “Replace your addiction with something else. It could be anything. What if you wrote a song instead? Sang? Exercised?”

 

       Mikaela sighed loudly through his nose. “I’d rather die than write a song. Singing won’t distract me, and exercising is stupid.”

 

       “But there has to be something,” Yūichirō mumbled. “Do you hate writing songs?”

 

       “When I’m being forced to,” Mikaela answered. “Other than that, it doesn’t come to me easily.”

 

       Yūichirō looked out the window when they hit the road again, thinking deeply about what activity could be both distracting and enjoyable for Mikaela.

 

       “Oh,” Mikaela said, which interrupted his thoughts. “You don’t think your friends would call your parents wondering where you are, do you?”

 

       He blinked. “They might. That’s definitely a possibility.”

 

       “Damn,” he cursed under his breath, switching lanes to make a U-turn. “I don’t want your parents to have my number.”

 

       “I could call my friends instead,” Yūichirō suggested. “Or you could drop me off there.”

 

       “No. I’m going to buy a disposable phone for now. You’ll tell your friends that you’re not going to make it.”

 

       Yūichirō shut his eyes. “What else do you need to do...? Maybe I can go see them after.”

 

       “I’m not going to hang out with your stupid friends. And I’m not leaving you alone with them, either. So it’s not happening.”

 

       “They’re not stupid,” Yūichirō retorted, though he’d agree with that on different circumstances.

 

       “I don’t have to do much after the car dealership,” Mikaela told him. “I just need to make a stop at a hotel and buy some more clothes. Then I’ll take us home.”

 

       “Home,” Yūichirō echoed. Mikaela using that term that way sounded very odd. “You mean my house.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “Whatever. It’s going to be my house, too, for a month.”

 

       Yūichirō’s heart sunk. So he really was  going to be around for that long, watching Yūichirō’s every move because of his trust issues. He’d never be alone and he’d probably never see his friends for that entire time.

 

       It wasn’t fair! He wanted to enjoy his summer before they all had to start looking for jobs and enroll in colleges and start their lives and be adults! He hardly got to spend time with them during the first month of summer since he was too busy getting therapy because of an episode he had. It was awful! That was an entire month of fun time gone.

 

       The current month he was in, he had a lot more time to mess around with them again. He’d never been happier looking forward to Mikaela’s upcoming concert. But that went to shit. It was already the end of the month, too. He had one more left to spend with his friends, and now Mikaela was ruining that for him.

 

       This isn’t how I pictured my summer going at all,  Yūichirō thought, rubbing at his temples. Where did my almost-normal life go?

Chapter Text

There could be nothing more awkward than the situation Yūichirō was in.

 

       Okay, maybe that was a bit of an overstatement, but he felt completely weird.

 

       After the long two hours or so Mikaela spent with Yūichirō at the car dealership to pick up another car, they had went to the hotel. He’d miss the gold sedan; it had a nice feel to it. Now Mikaela drove a mustang-like convertible with a dark greenish-gray color. It was a little eye-catching, but the color made it feel less out there somehow.

 

       They picked up Mikaela’s things and loaded them into the trunk, Yūichirō helping against his will. Then, at about one in the afternoon, they went to the mall. Mikaela offered to buy him clothes, too. He had to keep rejecting. Yūichirō did notice the choice in outfits he was picking out for himself, though. They were very normal.

 

       It got his brain going. Mikaela wasn’t telling him anything, though he could figure out for himself that Mikaela was doing more than just hiding from his fans. The car switch is what stood out the most. His gold sedan was perfectly fine, yet he switched it out. If someone knew about his previous car, then why were there no paparazzi anywhere? Sure, where he lived there was nothing special. But still. Something was off.

 

       After the mall, they were hungry, so Mikaela took him out to eat. And that was why he felt extremely uncomfortable and nervous.

 

       “Lighten up,” Mikaela said from behind the menu he was looking at, sitting across from Yūichirō in a two-person booth. “You look like you’re about to have an anxiety attack or something.”

 

       Yūichirō glanced up from his own menu and at Mikaela even though he couldn’t see his face. His hood was still up and he wore his sunglasses. The menu covered his eyes, though, until he lowered it to look at Yūichirō.

 

       “Seriously, are you okay?”

 

       Yūichirō stared down at the table. Everything was overpriced, and he hardly knew Mikaela for the blond to be taking him out! Not to mention they weren’t even on each other’s good side. He’d have to order food for himself and Mikaela would pay for it. That made him feel like shit. He didn’t do anything to deserve a good meal.

 

       “It’s just,” he started, feeling Mikaela stare at him. “I don’t know. This doesn’t feel right.”

 

       Mikaela glanced around. “Uh-huh.” He then brought the menu back up to his face. “You’re such a bitch, I swear....”

 

       Yūichirō opened his mouth to tell Mikaela not to call him that, but the waitress came by their table, asking if they were ready to order. Mikaela pointedly told her that he was ready, but his friend needed more time.

 

       When she left, Mikaela set his own menu on top of Yūichirō’s. “If you can’t find anything, then just get what I’m having.”

 

       “No,” he mumbled, looking away. “I’m not even hungry,” he lied. “I just want to go home.”

 

       “I guess I did drag you around all over the place,” Mikaela said quietly, closing their menus and stacking them to the side. “You must not be used to doing much.”

 

       Yūichirō glared up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

       “Exactly what I said,” Mikaela replied, sliding his drink closer to himself to take a sip from the straw.

 

       “I do a lot of things. Just not boring stuff. You had me standing around in that stupid car dealership for like... three hours.”

 

       His eyes were covered, but Yūichirō was sure he just rolled them. “It wasn’t that long. Anyway, I get that you’re tired. That’s why you should eat to get your energy up. We’ve been around each other since we woke up this morning, and I’ve only seen you eat a bowl of cereal and a couple pills. That was almost five hours ago.”

 

       “Doesn’t mean I’m hungry....”

 

       “Speaking of pills,” Mikaela went on, sliding his drink away. “Are you going to tell me your story yet?”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō said, leaning back. “Stop asking! I’m serious. I don’t want to tell you.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “I’ll just tell you something about myself and maybe you’ll want to tell me.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t reply. Of course he still wouldn’t feel up to it, but at least he’ll get a story out of this.

 

       “What do you want to know?” Mikaela asked.

 

       “Uh....” Yūichirō itched his cheek, suddenly feeling a little bad. Wasn’t it kinda like lying? “I guess why you started smoking...?”

 

       Mikaela didn’t respond for a moment. “Hmm,” he hummed, swirling his straw around in his drink. “That’s not a very exciting story. Choose something else.”

 

       Yūichirō looked down to his lap. “How about... what your childhood was like? There’s no information on your parents anywhere....”

 

       “That’s too much,” Mikaela said. “I’ll only tell you that if you speak first.”

 

       Was there an in between? Yūichirō sighed. “Okay, um.... Why do you have trust issues?”

 

       “So, I started smoking two years ago,” Mikaela started, sounding irritated. “I wasn’t in a bad spot or anything like that, but someone I know, Crowley, introduced me to drugs. I tried a lot of things at first, and they all worked to distract me....

 

       “I just thought it was way too much. I don’t like feeling as if I’m not in control. So, I tried cigars and cigarettes, and found that I like them better. They don’t change too much, really.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked. “You could have been addicted to other things? But you weren’t because you didn’t like feeling like....”

 

       “That’s pretty much it. Now, your turn.”

 

       He guiltily looked down to the table.

 

       “Are you guys ready now?” the waitress asked, surprising Yūichirō as if she came out of nowhere. Mikaela nodded in response, ordering for both him and Yūichirō.

 

       “At least tell me,” Mikaela began once she picked up the menus and left. “When you started taking those pills. Has enough time gone by to the point where they work now?”

 

       Yūichirō nodded slowly. “It’s been a few months.... I don’t remember. Two or three, I guess?”

 

       “Do your friends know?”

 

       He shook his head. “They only know that I’ve....” Yūichirō shook his head again. “No, never mind.”

 

       “Tell me,” Mikaela told him. “You started that sentence, so now you have to finish it.”

 

       “I don’t want to.”

 

       “Whatever,” Mikaela dismissed, leaning back as he had went forward at some point. “I got something out of you.”

 

       Their table grew quiet. Mikaela pulled out his phone and Yūichirō had to resort to listening to the conversations of everyone else dining around them. He heard some weird stuff as he absentmindedly watched Mikaela tap away on his phone. The blond probably knew he was looking at him, but he didn’t seem to care.

 

       Yūichirō eventually tuned them out, instead deciding to be in his own thoughts for a moment. He crossed his arms on the table, but before he could rest his head there, Mikaela spoke up.

 

       “Don’t do that,” he said though his attention was on his phone. “That’s rude.”

 

       “And you being on your phone isn’t?” Yūichirō retorted, uncrossing his arms anyway.

 

       “I—” Mikaela had looked up, but he was cut off by something flashing on his phone. He looked back down and cursed under his breath. “I’ll be right back,” he said, moving out of the booth. He then paused. “Actually, come with me.”

 

       Before Yūichirō could protest, his hand was pulled, forcing him to stand up. Mikaela led him towards a sign that said restroom, their hands interlocked together.

 

       “Hold on,” Mikaela said, directed to whoever was on the phone as he now held up the device to his ear. They entered the men’s restroom, finding it empty. Then Mikaela released Yūichirō’s hand and began talking to someone.

 

       I’m always being dragged along against my will. Yūichirō stared at Mikaela for a second longer as the blond removed his glasses and set them on the counter. He looked around the clean room, hearing the radio play in the background somewhere. Of course, it wasn’t a song of Mikaela’s, but it was peaceful and restroom-sounding somehow.

 

       “No, I didn’t agree to that,” Mikaela said, turning around from the mirror.

 

       I guess... while I’m here.... Yūichirō went to one of the urinals lined up on the wall and stood in front of it. Just as he put his hands on his pants, he noticed Mikaela had glanced at him.

 

       “You’re what?” Mikaela then asked as he looked somewhere else.

 

       Maybe I’ll just use one of the stalls, he thought, turning away. As he entered, he uncomfortably listened to Mikaela’s conversation. Or, at least his part of it.

 

       “That’s bullshit,” he was saying, sounding irritated as per usual. “No, no, never. No. Fuck you. Why do you always get on my nerves?”

 

       Yūichirō tried to be quiet. He didn’t want Mikaela to hear him urinating.

 

       “You clearly do it on purpose. Anyway, tell him I said no. I won’t do it. I’m way too busy this month. I already told you this. No. Shut up. Bye, Lacus.”

 

       He flushed and exited the stall. Mikaela’s sunglasses were back on, and his phone was tucked away. He was washing his hands, and Yūichirō did the same once he neared the sink.

 

       “What was that all about?” Yūichirō asked as he dried his hands.

 

       “Everyone around me is out of their fucking minds.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t ask any more questions. They then left the restroom, no hands to be held, and returned to their seats. The food still hadn’t arrived yet, but they were only waiting about five minutes in silence before it got there.

 

       Reluctantly, he ate. It wasn’t that bad, but he didn’t like the fact that it felt like Mikaela was looking at him. He didn’t know for sure because his eyes were covered, though.

 

       Neither of them said any words to each other for the longest time. At some point, Mikaela asked him if it tasted good and that was it. Soon, Mikaela was paying and they were on their way back to Yūichirō’s house.

 

       “You know,” Mikaela said, breaking their half-hour long silence. “You haven’t thanked me for covering for you yet. You’d probably be grounded by now.”

 

       “And you haven’t said sorry for breaking my phone,” Yūichirō mumbled. “But thanks. I appreciate it, I guess....”

 

       “You’re welcome. And I’m sorry, I guess.”

 

       Yūichirō ignored him. He glared out the window as he started to recognize the road leading to his neighborhood. Was Mika really thinking about that? he wondered. All the things he could have on his mind, and it’s that....

 

       With a start, he remembered that he didn’t thank Mikaela for buying him lunch. “Thank you,” he suddenly said, turning away from the window to look at the blond. “For the food....”

 

       “Of course.”

 

       Again with the silence. They were already back at Yūichirō’s house, anyway. He helped Mikaela with the bags that were in the trunk, and as soon as they made it to the door, Shinya was opening it for them.

 

       “What’s all this stuff?” he asked as they hauled it inside.

 

       “My things from the hotel,” Mikaela answered, using that fake tone of voice of his again. “And some stuff I had to buy at the mall.”

 

       “I see,” Shinya said, though he still sounded curious.

 

       “Oh,” Mikaela then said as if realizing something. He dropped his luggage by Yūichirō. “Shinya, could I talk with you for a moment...? Yū-chan offered to help put my stuff away, so....”

 

       Yūichirō suppressed a sigh. As Mikaela and Shinya disappeared to the living room, talking, Yūichirō carried as many bags as he could and made the journey up the stairs. It took a little while. He dropped the stuff off in his room and went back to pick up the luggage.

 

       “Guess what, Yū-chan?” Mikaela said, his hoodie and sunglasses off. “I mean, Ichinose. Yū? Whatever I call you. Shinya said it was fine. Looks like we’ll be around each other a lot more now.”

 

       “About that,” Yūichirō started as Mikaela snatched the luggage away from him. “Can’t I hang out with my friends? You’re not seriously planning on keeping them away from me this entire time, are you?”

 

       Mikaela made his way to the stairs. “We’ll see about that. They’re not die-hard fans, are they? Girls who want to fuck?”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō followed behind him. “No. Well, not with you, I think. I don’t know. I think everyone’s gay.”

 

       Mikaela froze in the middle of the stairs, turning around to look at him. “Are you?”

 

       He shook his head after a moment’s hesitation. “No, no. I’m not.”

 

       “Good.” Mikaela turned around and continued up the steps.

 

       Yūichirō blinked several times. What did he mean by that? Was there something wrong with being homosexual? Yūichirō tried to wrap his head around it, but nothing was coming to mind. Mikaela wasn’t... homophobic, was he?

 

       He just keeps getting better and better, Yūichirō thought sarcastically.

 

       “Where can I put my clothes?” Mikaela asked when they made it to Yūichirō’s door.

 

       “Um... nowhere?”

 

       Yūichirō entered right behind him. Mikaela dropped the luggage on the floor. “Very funny. But I’m being serious.”

 

       “I guess where mine are,” Yūichirō said reluctantly. “In the dresser. That’s all I have. No closet....”

 

       “Okay. Help me unpack.”

 

       “Why?” Yūichirō just wanted to lay down. “Can’t you do it yourself...?”

 

       Mikaela, crouched down on the floor, glanced back at him. “I’m going to put the ones I bought in the washer. You can organize your dresser and make some room for mine.”

 

       He sighed. “Can you at least bring me some water? I’m thirsty....”

 

       “Whatever.”

 

       With that, the room grew quiet as Mikaela took out his clothes from the bags and removed tags. Meanwhile, Yūichirō refolded some of his own clothes in the dresser and stuffed them together. He tried to make as much space as possible.

 

       “Alright,” Mikaela then said. When Yūichirō turned around, he noticed he stood up with two overfilled bags. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

 

       “It’s my room,” Yūichirō mumbled under his breath. “My house. Why should you tell me where to go?”

 

       Mikaela didn’t hear him. “Start putting my clothes away that are in the luggage. Only the ones I use to sleep, though.” Then, he left.

 

       How am I supposed to know which are those? Yūichirō sighed and dragged both of Mikaela’s red luggages towards the dresser. He opened the last drawer and began unzipping the bigger luggage of the two, crouched down on the floor.

 

       I don’t like girls like that, he thought to himself. What Mikaela had said earlier bothered him. I guess. I mean, I do, but I like... other parts better.... I can’t really see myself doing it to some girl. He shivered at the thought of a random chick’s tits bouncing as he fucked her.

 

       No, no. Ew. I don’t like that. Does that make me gay? What’s with Mika and gays? He seems to have a problem with girls, not guys.... Most of his fans are female, after all.

 

       As Yūichirō finished shoving all of his socks to the side, he began looking through Mikaela’s luggage for his. I don’t think it’s gays he has a problem with. After I told him my friends were, he didn’t suddenly want to never see them. I have to be missing something here. Why can’t I figure it out? I know why he switched cars for the most part. This shouldn’t be that hard.

 

       “I’m back,” Mikaela said, startling him.

 

       It’s not like I really care, anyway, I guess. He’s probably not homophobic or whatever....

 

       “What’s with this?” Mikaela asked. The blond was right next to him all of a sudden, crouched and looking through his socks with a free hand. The other had the water Yūichirō asked for.

 

       “...What do you mean?”

 

       “You only have five drawers,” Mikaela pointed out, offering the glass of water to him. “And now that we’ll be sharing, you should try to maximize the space. We could fit our socks and underwears in one.”

 

       Yūichirō felt awkward. “Isn’t that weird?” He then brought the glass to his lips to drink the water, hoping it’d refresh him.

 

       “Not if we divide them.” Mikaela looked at him. Without warning, he reached over and tipped the glass upwards, and the water rushed down his shirt.

 

       Yūichirō immediately backed up and sputtered, the coolness clinging uncomfortably to his skin. “What—!” he started, coughing. “Why would you do that?”

 

       “I felt like it,” Mikaela casually said, standing up to bring the luggage over to his side. “Anyway, let’s hurry up with this. I just remembered to get you a mattress, so we have to leave after.”

 

       Yūichirō wiped his dripping mouth with his sleeve, feeling irritated. Now the carpet would be wet for awhile. “You couldn’t have remembered sooner?” He grumbled, setting the empty glass to the side. “I don’t wanna go anywhere anymore.”

 

       “Do you want to sleep on the floor again? No, right? So stop complaining.”

 

       He stood up from the floor then opened one of the drawers with his shirts in it. “You seriously didn’t have to do that to me, though....”

 

       “You looked stupid and open. It was the perfect opportunity. Besides, I don’t know why you thought I’d do things for you.”

 

       Yūichirō pulled out a similar shirt to the one he was wearing, knowing that they’d be leaving the house again. He went to the next drawer and found another pair of jeans. Then, he started to walk away, but Mikaela grabbed his hand.

 

       “Where are you going? To change? Just do that here.”

 

       “No,” he said, pulling his hand away. “It’s your fault I have to switch, anyway. I’m just going to the bathroom.”

 

       “Are you shy?” Mikaela sneered. “Embarrassed about something? It’s not like I was going to look. We’re both—well, there’s a man and a boy. Same gender.”

 

       Yūichirō turned around to face him. “You’re the boy, right?”

 

       “Clearly not by my dick size.”

 

       “What? You’re saying mine is small?”

 

       Mikaela smiled. “I’m about to find out, aren’t I?”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō turned away and started walking to the door, his face flushed with heat.

 

       “I’m being serious, Yū,” Mikaela said, though he sounded like he was staying where he was. Yūichirō felt a little surprised at the nickname, but Mikaela went on before he could say anything. “I don’t care. Just change in a corner. Don’t make me get up and follow you because you’re a bitch.”

 

       Technically, you’re the bitch by being so scared I’m gonna tell your secret. “Stop calling me that.” Yūichirō turned around at the door. “Okay. Whatever. Just keep looking that way.”

 

       “It’s not like I want to see,” Mikaela muttered.

 

       As Yūichirō began taking off his shirt, he awkwardly watched the back of Mikaela’s head as the blond organized his dresser. He then bent down to pick up his dry shirt to put it on.

 

       He doesn’t act gay, Yūichirō thought as he slid it over his head. I mean, that was a little weird, but I don’t know.... If he was, would he have said that thing earlier? He glanced at his arms as he slid them through the sleeves. Maybe I’m looking into it way too much. Why should I care?

 

       He unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans he was wearing, then slid them off his legs. Mikaela still didn’t look back. He was folding one of Yūichirō’s sleeved shirts, staring at it for a good moment. Yūichirō quickly put on his dry jeans and threw his wet clothes in the hamper next to the door.

 

       “Alright,” Mikaela said after he shut a drawer. “Let’s hurry this up. I want to smoke one, and that mattress isn’t going to buy itself.”

 

....

 

“Shinya,” Yūichirō called after a yawn. “Where are my pills?”

 

       “They should be right where you left them,” his father said from the dining room. Mikaela was washing dishes behind Yūichirō because he had insisted, and Guren was presumably talking with Shinya still. It was earlier in the morning, so Guren hadn’t left yet.

 

       Yūichirō sighed as he looked through the cabinet where all the medications were, but to no luck. “They’re not here. I know this is where I put them.”

 

       It grew quiet apart from Mikaela rattling dishes and a chair sliding in the next room. Then, Shinya appeared through the archway. “Are you looking correctly? If I find them....”

 

       Yūichirō opened the fridge door wider and stepped back, waiting for Shinya to look and magically find stuff as he always did. But it must have been a couple minutes with Shinya coming up with nothing.

 

       “Maybe you misplaced them,” he said with a shrug. “Look around the kitchen or your room.”

 

       “But I know I put them back,” Yūichirō muttered under his breath while his father left the kitchen.

 

       He remembered what happened with Mikaela yesterday morning. He knew he took them away from him and stuffed it back into the fridge.

 

       He shoved a drawer closed and turned around to see Mikaela finishing up with the dishes. “Mika,” he started, grabbing the blond’s attention. Neither of them said anything about nicknames since yesterday, so he knew it was fine for him to use it now. “Have you seen my meds?”

 

       “What, your crazy pills?” Mikaela dried his hands on a paper towel. “No. Not since you took them from me last morning.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. Someone must have moved them. There was no way they were anywhere but the fridge door. “Guren,” he called. “Did you touch my pills?”

 

       “No,” came the response.

 

       “Is it that big of a deal?” Mikaela asked, leaning against the counter across from him. “You’ll live without them.”

 

       Yūichirō slammed another drawer closed. “No! I need them, Mika. Help me look.”

 

       “I don’t get why you’re ordering me around, but fine.”

 

       Then, the two of them searched throughout the whole kitchen. Mikaela helped, but Yūichirō ended up looking through all the places he checked, anyway. Still nothing.

 

       “Shinya,” Yūichirō said once he walked to the front door, feeling defeated. Mikaela trailed behind him as per usual. “I can’t find them.”

 

       Shinya, who had been waving Guren off to work, shut the door and looked at him. “Keep looking. If you don’t find it by the middle of the day, then I’ll go get you another prescription.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. “Can’t you just get them now?”

 

       “What day of the week is it? I don’t think they’re open yet if it’s Saturday.”

 

       “It’s Sunday,” Mikaela said, butting in.

 

       Shinya made an O shape with his mouth. “They’re not open today.”

 

       Fuck! he thought, turning around and heading up the stairs to check his room. He felt helpless. An entire day without medication? He’d be ruined! Where could they be? I don’t want a repeat of last time....

 

       “You’re getting really worked up over this,” Mikaela said from behind him. “Can’t you just relax?”

 

       Yūichirō spun on him once he stopped at the last step. “No! Don’t tell me to relax. This isn’t a joke.”

 

       “Don’t yell at me,” Mikaela said. “I never said it was a joke. God, what’s with you? You’ll find them eventually.”

 

       He wasn’t too sure about that. With how things were looking.... Especially after he practically tore his room apart, still nothing.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō said as he refolded some of the clothes in the dresser he had messed up. “You didn’t hide them, did you?”

 

       “The fuck would I do that for?” Mikaela said, sounding surprised from the bed he sat on. “Like I give a shit about your stupid drugs.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed and went down to his knees, clutching his head. How long before that feeling comes back? he thought. How long before I....

 

       “Mika, please,” he said, crawling over to him. “Please, I need them, and if you’re hiding them for some reason, give it back.”

 

       “I said I don’t have them,” Mikaela said, slapping Yūichirō’s hands away as they had rested on his knees. “Just keep looking.”

 

       “I’ve done enough looking!” Yūichirō snapped. He stood up and ran his hand through his hair several times. Where could they be...? Where the fuck are they?

 

       “So it’s one day, big deal,” Mikaela said, crossing his legs. “You’ll get them tomorrow.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “I can’t wait that long....”

 

       “What’s going to happen?” Mikaela asked curiously, leaning back on the bed with his hands, propping him up. He stared up at Yūichirō, his blue gaze searching and observant.

 

       “Bad things,” he mumbled in response and looked away. He had to find them as soon as possible before the withdrawal symptoms started kicking in, which he believed would hit him like a ton of bricks a few hours after he was supposed to take it. By the time it was now, he guessed he had about two more hours left.

 

       Without saying another word, he left the room. He’d check both of the bathrooms first, then he’d start looking in random places just in case they really were hidden somewhere. Mikaela was soon following him out the door.

 

       “Can you elaborate?” the blond asked as Yūichirō opened up the mirror. “What exactly happens, and when? You’re not going to die or something, are you?”

 

       I’m going to wish I did. He shut the mirror door when he didn’t find anything. Then, he crouched down to check the cabinets.

 

       “Can I guess? Do you get... brain zaps or something? I’ve heard of those. I guess that’s mostly for antidepressants, though. I looked up your medication. It’s for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia or something, I think? Do you have schizophrenia? No, right? You’re bipolar. Definitely. I can see that. For what type? Is it severe?”

 

       During Mikaela’s entire ramble, Yūichirō had checked the other bathroom in the house and was now going to the living room to check through the couches. He was becoming frustrated with all the questions Mikaela was asking, plus the fact that he was starting to sweat and he couldn’t find his damn pills.

 

       “Hmm,” Mikaela hummed when Yūichirō checked the last couch. “Weird spots you’re looking in. Anyway, it’s not that bad, right? You’re not going to try to kill yourself or something... are you? Or are you going to kill me?

 

       Yūichirō, who had been looking through the kitchen fridge again, slammed the door shut. Everything inside rattled and he could swear he saw the whole refrigerator tip. “Shut the fuck up, Mika! Just shut up. Stop fucking talking! Help me find my pills. If you’re not going to do that, then get lost!”

 

       Mikaela’s expression was surprised at first, but before Yūichirō turned away, indignation was written all over it.

 

       “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to like that—”

 

       Yūichirō spun around and rose a fist up, aiming a punch right at him. He then stopped himself when he realized who was in front of him. He lowered his hand awkwardly and his eyes met the ground.

 

       “Huh,” Mikaela said after a second. “That’s what I thought. I see you can make some good decisions in your life.”

 

       Yūichirō lifted up his head. “Listening to your music was not one of them.” Without another word, he pushed past Mikaela and left the kitchen. He’d check his parent’s bedroom next, presumably where Shinya was. It would explain why he hadn’t showed up during their commotion.

 

       He knew Mikaela was following him still, though he tried not to mind. He didn’t want to concern himself with the blond’s unreasonable trust issues. He’d just ignore his presence and continue looking.

 

       Shinya helped him look through the room even though he didn’t think Yūichirō would find them there at all. But aside from his room, the laundry room, and the closet downstairs, Yūichirō had nowhere else to look. It had to be in one of the three places.

 

       They weren’t.

 

       Yūichirō went back to Shinya’s room. “I can’t find them,” he said, feeling exhausted. “I’ve looked everywhere. Twice. I don’t know where they are....”

 

       “How are you feeling?” Shinya asked, getting up from his bed. “Any different? Do you want to call your friends over?”

 

       He shook his head. “I just... I think I’ll sleep the day off or something. I don’t know.”

 

       Shinya looked behind him at Mikaela who had been quiet ever since their mini argument almost one hour ago by now. “Are you okay? Maybe Mikaela could spend some time with you playing music. Or I could call Guren and we could—”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō turned around and left the room, feeling pressured. He couldn’t listen to Shinya’s ramble. He knew his father was just trying to help, but it was only making him feel worse. Yūichirō wanted to be alone at this point.

 

       When he entered his room, he slammed the door behind him, but Mikaela’s hand interrupted it before it shut completely. Yūichirō ignored the blond as he entered the room and closed the door. He went to his own bed and covered himself in the blankets Mikaela had been using for the past two nights.

 

       I hate this. Why can’t I find them? Why are they missing all of a sudden? The only time this happens and it’s when Mika shows up. Yūichirō felt the bed dip near his legs. When Mika shows up....

 

       He sat up, though at the same time, Shinya knocked on his door. “Is Mikaela in there with you?”

 

       “Yes,” Yūichirō answered. “I’m sorry. I just need a moment.”

 

       “That’s okay. I understand. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

 

       After a second, Yūichirō returned his attention on Mikaela. “I know you hid them.”

 

       The blond was staring down at his lap, looking emotionless. He brought his eyes up and met Yūichirō’s. “I did not.”

 

       “I just think it’s weird that they magically disappeared the day after you found out about them. Not to mention how much you bother me about this. You probably want to see what it’s like for me because you know I won’t tell you.”

 

       “I didn’t take your fucking medicine,” Mikaela said, looking away and getting up from the bed. “You’re being an idiot. Why would I do that petty shit?”

 

       “I don’t know you!” Yūichirō pushed the blankets off of him. “You could be anyone. Hell, maybe you took my medicine to use it yourself! You probably need it more than I do.”

 

       “I’m not going to listen to your bipolar disorder all day,” Mikaela told him as he started looking through his luggage he had put in the corner of his room. “But I’ll stay here and make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “Like you care what happens to me anyway. All you’re focused on is yourself.”

 

       Mikaela didn’t respond.

 

       “I bet you’re on some medication, too,” Yūichirō went on, moving to the edge of the bed. “Because you’re fucked up, Mika. You’re a piece of shit who deceives everyone with your stupid looks and smiles. Deep down, you have no soul. You love no one, and you have no one. You’re the bitch here. You’re a lonely—”

 

       Mikaela had started laughing, which interrupted him. Yūichirō blinked in surprise, furrowing his brows in confusion. “What's—”

 

       “You really are so cute, Yū-chan,” Mikaela said once he stopped laughing, standing up with his back facing him. He left his luggage there. Whatever he was going to get was long forgotten now. “Have you always wanted to say that? Did your precious little pills keep you from saying the honest truth?”

 

       Yūichirō opened his mouth, but Mikaela turned around and continued speaking. “You’re wrong about one thing, though. I’m not the bitch. You are.”

 

       “We’ll see about that,” Yūichirō said, pushing himself up from the bed and advancing towards Mikaela. The blond was doing the same, only slower. When he neared, Yūichirō rose a fist again, though he was countered by Mikaela’s hand. He tried to do the same with his other hand, but Mikaela caught that one too.

 

       “Will we?” he asked rhetorically, forcing his fingers through Yūichirō’s fist to intertwine them together. Yūichirō tried to pull away, but now that Mikaela had a death grip on both of his hands, it would be difficult. Mikaela squeezed hard, nearly making Yūichirō whimper.

 

       “Let go,” Yūichirō said, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

 

       “Weren’t you about to show me something?” Mikaela teased. The force of his fingers squeezing and Yūichirō trying to free himself made their hands shake slightly in place. “Go ahead. I’m waiting.”

 

       “Let g—!” Just as he had spoken, Mikaela released him. But he was trying to pull away so hard that he ended up falling down on his ass.

 

       And before he could process the situation, Mikaela was on top of him, squeezing his hands again. Yūichirō’s back was forced on the ground as Mikaela shoved his hands on the floor, their fingers intertwined once more.

 

       “I’ve been learning things about you, Yū. It’s only been, what, three days? And I think I already know so much.”

 

       “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said uncomfortably as he felt Mikaela slide against his dick when the blond sat up, their hands still together.

 

       “Oh, you don’t?” Mikaela’s hips went back, grinding their crotches together. “I can explain for you, of course. I believe this is one of your little secrets.” He then went forwards, and Yūichirō could feel the blond’s softness against his own growing erection.

 

       “Stop,” Yūichirō said quickly and pathetically, pushing his head back against the floor as he tried to pull his hands away. “Stop it.”

 

       Mikaela did stop, much to his disappointment. The blond moved both of his hands to one of his own and slid down Yūichirō’s sleeve. “Here’s a second. Oh, you must have had stitches for this one, huh?”

 

       “Stop it,” Yūichirō repeated, feeling humiliated. He squeezed his eyes shut as Mikaela ran a finger down Yūichirō’s long, vertical scar.

 

       “Now, the third one is a little weird,” Mikaela continued, finally releasing Yūichirō’s hands. “And I’ll admit that I’m creeped out by this. But to each their own, right?”

 

       Without warning, Mikaela’s fingers dug into one of Yūichirō’s more recent cuts on his arm, immediately causing Yūichirō to release a cry of alarm. “What are you—” he panted, though he was interrupted by Mikaela slowly grinding on his crotch again.

 

       “You’re gay, aren’t you?” Mikaela asked, making eye contact even as he moved. “I already knew the answer to that question even before you answered the first time. Do you think I forgot how you were more than ready to suck my cock? Did you think I didn’t notice how your dick got hard the first time I was on top of you like this?”

 

       Yūichirō just stared up at the ceiling, feeling drained yet emotional. He wanted to cry and die a horrible death. He never felt so embarrassed in his life.

 

       “You’re so filthy, Yū,” Mikaela sneered. He stopped moving and released his arm to lean forward so that his face was hovering over Yūichirō’s. “I know you’re enjoying all of this. That second pill was more than just a mood-stabilizer, huh?”

 

       “Please stop,” Yūichirō mumbled, feeling tears well up in his eyes. “Please just stop. I don’t like this....”

 

       “Your dick is saying something else entirely different.” Mikaela then shut his lips and started moving something around in his mouth. For a good moment, Yūichirō had no idea what he was doing. Until he parted his lips.

 

       Yūichirō flinched away, shutting his eyes as Mikaela’s saliva dripped out and landed on his cheek. His own mouth opened instinctively to let out a moan, and another part of him wished it went inside instead.

 

       “Aw, look at you,” Mikaela said. “You’re like a little obedient fucktoy. Too bad I don’t want you. I bet you’d be so wonderful to fuck. I can only imagine all the sounds you would make.”

 

       Yūichirō opened his eyes again, his mouth hanging open a little bit. Mikaela gripped his chin and opened it wider. “Say it, Yū,” he went on, staring at Yūichirō’s lips. “Do you want a kiss? Do you want me to give you more of my saliva? Or do you want me to fuck you until you can’t walk? Just ask. I’ll do it.”

 

       “R—really?” Yūichirō stammered, his voice light yet lewd. “Mika....”

 

       “Oh, yes,” Mikaela said with a smile. “All you have to do is ask, naughty boy.”

 

       Yūichirō’s voice caught in his throat. His eyes then overfilled with tears and his heart felt heavy. Mikaela got off of him with a look of disgust, leaving Yūichirō there with spit on his face and an erection.

 

       I feel sick, he thought, moving to sit up. He put a hand over his mouth and sobbed quietly, his tears falling down on the carpet. I think I’m gonna be sick.

Chapter Text

Yūichirō cried for the rest of the day. He did nothing but cover himself in his blankets and cry. Mikaela stayed in the corner of the room on his laptop occasionally answering phone calls. The only time they got up was to eat dinner. It had been silent and awkward. He didn’t eat too much and the whole table was silent, his eyes puffy and red, lips trembling. He still wanted to cry.

 

       When he got back to his room, he switched from the bed to the floor knowing that Mikaela would probably want to sleep soon. He didn’t even bother taking out his own mattress. He felt too much like shit to do anything.

 

       He was just about to sleep off such a horrible day when he felt someone picking him up. He was startled awake, blinking his wet eyes open in the dark.

 

       “You’re such an idiot.”

 

       Yūichirō started sobbing again at the sound of Mikaela’s voice, remembering what happened earlier. He didn’t bother struggling against the blond as he lay him down on his bed then started covering him with the blankets.

 

       “Stop crying,” Mikaela said once he finished, patting Yūichirō’s head. “You’re going to get sick sleeping on the floor without anything. I don’t even get why you’re so sad.”

 

       Yūichirō squeezed the blankets in his fingers gently. He tried to ignore the blond’s hand soothingly massaging his head, messing around with his untamed black hair.

 

       “Do you ever brush?” Mikaela mumbled. Yūichirō hardly heard him. He drifted off into a light sleep again, though he eventually didn’t feel the soothing touches from Mikaela. He was asleep again, but before he knew it, he was waking up in the pitch black darkness.

 

       A hard pang hit his heart as he remembered everything once more. He felt horrible. The pain wouldn’t go away until he had his pills, but those were nowhere to be found. What could he do to numb the feeling for awhile?

 

       What time is it? he thought sleepily. He didn’t feel like he’d be able to fall asleep, so hopefully it was morning or something. It wouldn’t be too long until Shinya would get him a refill. Then he’d feel great again!

 

       Yūichirō felt around the weird air mattress for the phone he didn’t have. Then he realized he wasn’t on the mattress. It was his bed. He sat up and blinked around, confused. He looked off to his side and the floor to see Mikaela on the air mattress. Yūichirō’s eyes adjusted to the darkness just enough to see his blonde head of hair.

 

       Suddenly, he felt sick. He’s right. I’m just a dirty whore.

 

       Yūichirō got up from the bed as quietly as possible. He looked around the room for any sign of Mikaela’s phone charging somewhere. It was on the floor near Mikaela’s head. When he got there carefully, he tilted the phone towards himself and clicked it on.

 

       Yūichirō was only asleep for two hours.

 

       That realization had to be the worst feeling in the world, especially when he was looking forward to his pills. Now what? Stay awake for five more hours, trying to fall asleep? Then he’d sleep for thirty minutes and wait five more.

 

       I can’t deal with this anymore, Yūichirō thought, squeezing his hands into fists. Before he could continue feeling sorry for himself, he had a sudden idea. Maybe there’s a sleeping pill I can take.

 

       He left the room and headed down the stairs. Who knew? Maybe his meds were there now. Maybe they only disappeared for one day and now they were back. Yūichirō held onto his tiny shred of hope.

 

       Once he carefully made his way into the kitchen, he turned on the lights and blinked several times. It was super bright to him. Yūichirō then slowly walked to the fridge, feeling anxious.

 

       Please. Please, please, please—

 

       Okay, so they weren’t there. He expected that much. Yūichirō sighed and looked through all the medicines that were there. Surprisingly, there was nothing. Yūichirō took a deep breath. It’s okay, Yū. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay....

 

       Yūichirō popped open a bottle of painkillers. It’s fine. Everything’s okay.

 

       Without a second thought, he poured the whole thing into his mouth. Some pills clattered to the floor, but Yūichirō only pulled out a gallon of water, uncapped it, and started to drown himself in the pills.

 

       As soon as he had about ten—fifteen? twenty?—swallowed and into his system, he felt a force in his side. In a quick second, he was on the floor, and Mikaela was on top of him, pinning down his shoulders.

 

       “What did you do?” Mikaela asked, sounding both worried yet more irritated. “What did you do?

 

       Yūichirō looked to the side to where the gallon of water lay on the ground, pouring out. He tried to reach over for it. I need more water... there’s still more pills I have to swallow.

 

       “Mi-kah,” Yūichirō croaked, mouth still occupied with a few painkillers left in his mouth. “I need w—”

 

       His eyes widened when he felt Mikaela’s fingers enter his mouth. The blond scooped out the remaining pills and tossed them to the side. “Did you swallow some?” he asked. Yūichirō shook his head.

 

       “I just needed a few....”

 

       But Mikaela saw through his lie. Once again, there were fingers shoved down his mouth. Yūichirō immediately gagged when they hit the back of his tongue, and he forced himself upwards and vomited off to the side. No, he thought, feeling what he had just swallowed run up his throat. No!

 

       “You idiot!” Mikaela said as he continued to cough. “Why the fuck would you do that? What is wrong with you?”

 

       Yūichirō wiped his lips, feeling gross. He didn’t even respond.

 

       Mikaela pushed him back as he got up. “Holy shit,” he muttered to himself. Yūichirō stayed quiet. “Come on,” the blond then said, pulling him up by both of his hands.

 

       “No,” Yūichirō forced out, pushing Mikaela away. “No....”

 

       “Sit here,” Mikaela told him as he pointed to the counter. “I’ll clean up and then you can shower. I’m not leaving you alone to do more stupid shit.”

 

       Yūichirō only moved to pick up the dry pills he dropped earlier. Mikaela slapped his hands, stood him up straight, then crouched down slightly to pick him up. He struggled a bit to set Yūichirō on the counter since he kept moving, though when the blond managed, he turned away to roll out some paper towels.

 

       Absentmindedly and feeling dead inside, Yūichirō watched him pick up the gallon of water and dry the floor. Mikaela then seemed to reluctantly clean his vomit, pick up the rest of the pills, and threw everything away.

 

       “Okay,” Mikaela finally said after washing his hands. “You need to shower. Let’s go.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t budge. Mikaela sighed loudly and went over to him, but before he could touch him, Yūichirō got off himself. He rose his hand for Mikaela to take, which the blond did and roughly pulled him along. They went up the stairs and into Yūichirō’s room, presumably to get his clothes. Mikaela flicked on the light and released Yūichirō, went to the dresser, pulled out a few things, then walked back to the door.

 

       He grabbed his hand again while the other occupied his clothes. They got into the bathroom and Mikaela shut the door behind them, turning on the lights.

 

       “Now shower and don’t do anything stupid. I’m going to face the door the entire time, but if I hear anything....”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. Why was Mika awake? Why is he always following me? Does nothing ever go my way?

 

       He quickly got undressed, ignoring the fact that Mikaela was there. He didn’t care anymore, neither did he know how he was feeling. He felt depressed, yes, but what else? Did he even care that a potential suicide attempt failed? That Mikaela would tell his parents and he’d be in a mental institution again?

 

       Yūichirō gave up. Nothing mattered.

 

       “Don’t take forever,” Mikaela said just as he entered the shower. “I haven’t slept yet thanks to your nonstop crying.”

 

       Yūichirō turned the valve. Something he should have done earlier, because rushing cold water hit his skin without warning. He flinched away at first, then decided it didn’t matter. Yūichirō embraced the cold, but he just stood there.

 

       I wish I could listen to music, he suddenly thought, remembering the melody to one of Mikaela’s songs. He hummed to himself randomly as the water started to warm up.

 

       “I never liked that song,” Mikaela said after a moment of him just humming. Despite his words, though, Mikaela started to sing the lyrics.

 

       Yūichirō broke down immediately. He kneeled down on the tub floor, his eyes welling up with tears. His hums caught in his throat and he sobbed instead, though he found it hard to breathe with the water rushing against his face.

 

       “Why are you crying again?” Mikaela opened the curtains as he said that. Yūichirō turned away from him, rubbing at his face.

 

       “Don’t look,” he mumbled, shutting his eyes.

 

       “Honestly....” Mikaela sighed. “You’re not going to get anything done like this. Didn’t you say my music made you feel better?”

 

       Yūichirō’s heart felt heavy. Of course they did, but after everything that happened, it was hard to feel happy. Especially when the person who made those songs turned out to be nothing like he’d imagined.

 

       The water stopped pouring on his shoulder when Mikaela entered. Yūichirō glanced at him. He was fully dressed.

 

       “What are you doing?” Yūichirō sniffled, looking away.

 

       “Helping you.” Mikaela turned him so that they were facing each other, then started dumping shampoo in his hair. “I don’t even want to know how your gross vomit got in your hair,” he said, setting the bottle down next to them. Mikaela then started taking off his own shirt.

 

       Yūichirō kept crying, though. As soon as Mikaela tossed his shirt over the tub and started rubbing Yūichirō’s head, the raven-haired threw his arms around the blond and cried into his bare chest.

 

       “Get off,” Mikaela told him, though he kept washing Yūichirō’s hair.

 

       “I hate my life, Mika,” he said, squeezing him. “I hate everything. I don’t want to be alive anymore.”

 

       “Why not?” Mikaela asked, sounding uninterested. “You have your friends, don’t you? Can’t you live for them?”

 

       “This pain that I feel doesn’t make it worth it. It hurts....”

 

       “Your parents love you,” Mikaela said. “You have a nice house. Your favorite celebrity is in front of you, half-naked.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, rubbing some of the shampoo on the blond. “But I’m disgusting and unthankful. I don’t deserve to live.”

 

       Mikaela’s hand left his hair. He then lifted Yūichirō’s head up with soap-covered hands. “You are disgusting,” he told him bluntly. “I wouldn’t say unthankful, though.” The blond smiled kindly at him.

 

       Even with how he is, I don’t deserve him. Yūichirō looked down to Mikaela’s lips, unable to meet the blond’s eyes anymore. Why’s he so nice all of a sudden...?

 

       “But just because you’re disgusting doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.” Mikaela’s thumb rubbed over his cheek, clearing some stray tears that still leaked from his eyes. “Sure, there are nasty people out there who are bad, but you? Nah. You’re way too harmless. You couldn’t hurt anyone even if you tried.”

 

       Yūichirō pushed his hands away from his face. His eyes met the tub floor. “Hurting someone isn’t the only thing that makes a bad person.”

 

       “Is that true?” Mikaela’s hands had made it back into Yūichirō’s hair, continuing to scrub. “Well, I doubt you’ve done anything bad, Yū.”

 

       “I get off on...” Yūichirō trailed off, feeling ashamed.

 

       Mikaela chuckled, which made him feel worse. “So? We all have our kinks, idiot. There’s a lot of people out there with worse sexual tendencies.”

 

       “Do you have one?” Yūichirō asked quietly, looking up a little. His eyes met his toned stomach. He breathed out a hot breath and shut his eyes instead, feeling something stirring within him.

 

       “Of course. Come on, stand up. I need to wash this off.”

 

       Yūichirō let Mikaela guide him upwards then backwards, and the warm water washed down the shampoo. He made sure to keep his eyes closed as Mikaela cleaned his hair completely.

 

       “Do you want some conditioner, too?” Mikaela asked, rubbing gently. Yūichirō only shook his head in response. He didn’t want to stay in the shower for too long. He was completely naked and it felt weird.

 

       When Mikaela guided him out of the water, Yūichirō wiped his eyes and blinked them open. “What’s yours?” he asked, watching as Mikaela reached over for body wash. He thought it was weird that the blond kept his pants on, though he didn’t want to point it out.

 

       “Which one is yours?” Mikaela asked, pointing to a few shower sponges hanging near the shower head. “And do you really want to know?”

 

       Yūichirō nodded. “The blue one,” he told him, then waited for Mikaela to answer him. After the blond prepared the sponge, Yūichirō lifted up his arm and let the blond scrub it.

 

       “Well, what kind? Something light? Or do you want to know something extreme?”

 

       “Something that not a lot of people have,” Yūichirō mumbled. “Like mine....”

 

       Mikaela started on his other arm. “Hmm, well.... Have you heard of fire play?”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened. “Really? Do you... like burning others...?” Yūichirō wrinkled his nose as if he could smell scorched skin. “Or getting burnt?”

 

       “Nothing too wild.” Mikaela shrugged. “Turn around.”

 

       He obeyed. “I wouldn’t have expected that from you.... Where did it come from?”

 

       “Oh, wow,” Mikaela suddenly said, speaking over him. “You have a really nice body.”

 

       Yūichirō flushed.

 

       “May I?” Mikaela said softly, his hands hovering at Yūichirō’s sides.

 

       “What? What do you... mean?” Yūichirō asked. He knew what Mikaela was talking about but he felt too nervous.

 

       “Hold it,” Mikaela said, offering the blue sponge to him. Yūichirō took it and let the string hang on his wrist. Then, he felt Mikaela’s hands tenderly touch his waist, wrapping around the sides and sliding downwards smoothly. “Can I touch you like this?”

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t respond. He heard Mikaela sigh impatiently behind him through the pounding drops of water. The blond’s hands went up and down again, then to his lower back, then his hips....

 

       It’s too gentle, Yūichirō thought, feeling somewhat relaxed yet uncomfortable. I want... rough. I want it rough.

 

       “Don’t cut anymore,” Mikaela said softly by his ear, standing close. “Don’t ruin your body like that. Damn it,” he added, feeling Yūichirō’s ass. “At least you didn’t do anything here....”

 

       “I want to sleep,” Yūichirō said sadly, feeling a little insulted. “You’re the one who was rushing me earlier....”

 

       Mikaela harshly smacked the side of his asscheek. “You’re right. Let’s hurry this up; I’m tired.”

 

       Yūichirō had jumped a bit at that, the sound resonating loudly in the room. If his parents were awake, he was sure they would have heard that.

 

       After Mikaela washed his back and legs with the sponge, they were soon getting out of the shower, finally staying quiet. Yūichirō didn’t cry anymore. He let the blond dress him, though he had asked what Mikaela was going to change into since his clothes were wet.

 

       To which he answered, “I’ll change in the room.”

 

       So, Mikaela, pants still on and soaking wet, walked Yūichirō back to his room quietly. Yūichirō kept the towel on his head despite the blond telling him not to do that. He sat on the bed while Mikaela went to the dresser to change.

 

       “Do you really have a fire play kink?” Yūichirō randomly asked the blond in the dark, the light switch turned off when they entered. He looked away when he guessed Mikaela was taking off his pants.

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “No, I don’t.”

 

       He had a feeling. “Then why did you say that?”

 

       “I was just trying to make you feel better."

 

       He looked down at his lap, remembering Mikaela’s soft touches and the slap on his ass. Yūichirō tried to shake the thought off, but it was a little hard to focus. He could still feel the way Mikaela had gripped it tightly after he smacked it, and the grope he gave it with his other hand.

 

       Yūichirō felt his mouth open. He liked that. He really, really, really—

 

       “If you don’t mind,” Mikaela said, snapping him out of his thoughts only halfway. “I’m going to sleep with you on the bed. I don’t want you to be sneaking around.”

 

       “What if they see us like that? My parents?”

 

       Mikaela started walking towards him, seemingly done with his change. “Who cares? They know you’re not feeling well right now. They’ll understand I was just trying to comfort you. Come on. Lay down.”

 

       “Will you tell me your real kinks one day?” Yūichirō asked, rubbing his eye.

 

       The blond grabbed the towel from Yūichirō’s head, tossing it on the air mattress. “Maybe when you understand.”

 

       “Understand what?” Yūichirō asked, going under the blankets and laying down.

 

       “What it means,” Mikaela told him, slipping under the covers with him. “If I tell you now, you’re going to get the wrong idea.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked sleepily. “I...” he started, then yawned. “Okay.... I guess.”

 

       When he felt Mikaela’s arms wrap around him, he fluttered his eyes closed. He didn’t know how long it’d take him to fall asleep, but he was sure it wouldn’t....

Chapter Text

When Yūichirō woke up, he felt weird. As opposed to his depressive mood yesterday, he now felt happier and, well... horny. No doubt because of the events last night.

 

       But all of his emotions were forgotten when he woke up to see Mikaela sitting near the foot of the bed, legs crossed with two bottles of pills in the middle of them. In his hands, he was holding a glass of water. He was staring down at it, looking a little guilty.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō said groggily, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. “Is that...?”

 

       “Yes. These are yours.”

 

       Excitedly, Yūichirō reached forward for his pills. He took one out from each, put it in his mouth, and reached for the glass with grabby hands.

 

       “Don’t forget to eat as soon as possible,” Mikaela told him, handing it over.

 

       He nodded and swallowed, though he was watching Mikaela in case he tried anything funny again. Then, he wiped his mouth. “You found them?”

 

       “You could say that.”

 

       “What do you mean by that? What’s wrong, Mika?”

 

       Mikaela lifted up his head. “I stole them. Now I’m giving them back.”

 

       The words took a few moments to process in his head as he gave back the glass to Mikaela. When it clicked, all reason flew out the window. He felt anger fill him up. Now he had someone to blame for his pain.

 

       Yūichirō reached forward and smacked the glass of water out from the blond’s hands as soon as he lifted it up to take a sip. The glass didn’t shatter as it hit the carpet floor, but all the water spilled out. Mikaela seemed unfazed, looking off to the side with a bored and guilty expression.

 

       “You lied to me!” Yūichirō exclaimed, wishing he could shove Mikaela off his bed. “I knew you stole them! I knew it this whole time.... Why? Why would you do something like that? Can’t you see how much I suffered because of you?”

 

       Mikaela stayed silent.

 

       “Answer me! What, was it because you wanted to know so bad for some science experiment? Is that all people are to you? Something for you to toy with?”

 

       Mikaela’s mouth opened. He looked like he was about to make a witty remark, though he clearly thought better of it. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, looking down. “I’m sorry, Yū.”

 

       “I want to know why,” Yūichirō demanded.

 

       Mikaela bit his lip, squeezing his hands into tight fists on his lap. “I don’t want to tell you. I... I’m afraid you’ll hate me more than you already do right now.”

 

       “You don’t have a choice!” Yūichirō shoved the blankets off of himself and grabbed Mikaela’s shoulders, shaking the blond hard. “Tell me right now or I will hate you more. Even forever.”

 

       Mikaela didn’t meet Yūichirō’s eyes. “I...” he started quietly, moving his head to the side. He hesitated. “I....”

 

       Yūichirō’s fingers dug into his shoulders impatiently.

 

       “I thought if I took your pills from you,” he finally continued, his hands instead gripping his own knees. “You’d become more vulnerable and I could....” Another lip bite. “Manipulate you.”

 

       Yūichirō went blank. He slowly released Mikaela’s shoulders and slumped back.

 

       “Get out,” he then said without a single thought running through his mind.

 

       “W—wait, Yū,” Mikaela started, looking up at him with worried eyes. But Yūichirō wasn’t meeting them. “Please, I—”

 

       His voice dripping with venom, he repeated, “Get. Out.”

 

       After a split second of Mikaela sitting there, the blond got up from the bed and left. He shut the door behind him, and as soon as he did, Yūichirō felt his throat tighten.

 

       It’s—it’s not that bad, right? he told himself, forcing a light smile on his lips. He didn’t know it would turn out the way it did! And he saved me from killing myself and he cleaned up and—

 

       Yūichirō’s brows furrowed. He felt his ass with a hand where Mikaela smacked him, feeling surprisingly disgusted. He only saved my life because he wanted to use me. His heart grew heavy. He only cleaned up because he knew Shinya would ask questions. He should have never messed with my medicine in the first place.

 

       I hate him. I hate his guts for putting me through that. How could I ever forgive him?

 

       Yūichirō put a hand to his mouth, remembering that he had taken his pills. He’d need to eat something quickly, but he really didn’t feel like seeing Mikaela. He had no choice, though.

 

       Reluctantly, he got up from his bed, still feeling a little off. He wanted to eat fast and come back upstairs to rest until his meds start kicking in. And do... another thing.

 

       He opened his door and was surprised to see Mikaela absent. Yūichirō blinked down the hallway before stepping out and going down the stairs. He could hear Shinya and Guren talking about something, but no Mikaela.

 

       But as soon as he made it to the kitchen, there he was, just about to leave. Yūichirō ignored him and noticed a bowl of cereal prepared for probably him on the center counter. Without another word—though the blond did look—he left. Yūichirō heard the front door open and close.

 

       He grabbed his bowl and went to the dining room, expecting to see his parents. They weren’t there. He guessed they were in the living room, then. Yūichirō shrugged and sat down to eat his cereal quietly. All he thought about was what happened last night.

 

       When he finished eating, he went to the sink to clean his plate. Mika’s not watching over me, he thought to himself, washing off the milk. Good. Now I can be alone for once. He doesn’t deserve not to trust me after what he did, anyway.

 

       He soon finished and dried off his hands before heading up the stairs. I should just tell my parents. Instead of going to his room, Yūichirō entered the bathroom. If I tell them that Mika’s just a manipulative liar, they’ll believe me, right? I don’t have solid proof, but I am their son.

 

       Reluctantly, after he made sure to lock the door, he pulled down his pants and boxers before wetting his hands in the sink. No. As much as I hate what he did to me, it’s not my place to ruin someone’s life. It’s not like he ruined mine. It was already fucked up to begin with. Yūichirō then took his own dick in his hand and looked away as he started stroking it.

 

       How could he take away my pills like that? Yūichirō thought angrily, picking up the pace as he bit down on his lip. He didn’t even give them back to me until this morning. That means he was thinking about manipulating me even after I tried to kill myself. Even while I was crying my heart out for an entire day!

 

       Yūichirō rose a free hand to his hair, squeezing the strands and pulling. How could he do something like that? Was he planning on breaking me or something? Yūichirō remembered how Mikaela had pinned him to the floor the day before, treating him as nothing more than a slut.

 

       Impulsively, he groaned, leaning forwards and pumping his dick faster. He released the hair in his hand and instead gripped the edge of the counter. Yūichirō focused on the feeling of his ass being groped and slapped for a good moment. But as he still wasn’t about to release, his thoughts came back.

 

       I can’t believe he was so heartless, Yūichirō thought, wishing he could shove something in his ass. I can’t believe he wanted to use me as his little bitch or whatever. Or, like he said, a fucktoy.... Yūichirō’s lips rolled in his mouth for a second. Would Mika do those things to me...? He doesn’t seem interested in sex.

 

       Yūichirō leaned away and tilted his head back, beginning to feel great pleasure. He remembered back when they first met, when Mikaela had grabbed his hair and forced him towards his dick. He had been touching the blond then, and he was completely soft.

 

       His brows furrowed in thought. Does he have a problem getting it up? Or was he just disgusted? Yūichirō slowed his movements. Either of those could have been possible, but it was making him lose his mood, so he pushed the thought away. Instead, he kept pumping his dick, trying to force the sensation of being slapped and fucked in his ass as he went.

 

       When Yūichirō finished everything and cleaned up, he exited the bathroom, a little lost in thought. He would have wished that went a lot better than it did. Yūichirō didn’t masturbate too often, and when he did, it always felt like he was missing something.... Clearly something in his ass. But it wasn’t like he could do anything... yet.

 

       As he turned away from the bathroom, he noticed that the door to his room was opened slightly. Definitely not how he left it. Yūichirō approached his room and spread it wider. When he entered, he saw Mikaela in the corner where his luggages were.

 

       Immediately, he remembered that he had left his pills on the bed. He completely forgot about it because he had been so angry with Mikaela. What if the blond stole it now out of spite?

 

       Yūichirō hurried over to his bed and searched for the pills. They were there. He breathed out a sigh of relief and tightly held them in his hands. Then he turned around to look at Mikaela, who was looking at the pills with a regretful and guilty expression.

 

       “Why are you here?” Yūichirō said, glaring at him. “I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to see you.”

 

       “I’m just getting my things,” he mumbled, looking away and searching through his luggage again.

 

       “Hurry up and go.” Yūichirō then walked towards the door, prepared to lock it when Mikaela left. He didn’t want to put his medication back in the fridge where Mikaela could steal it again.

 

       Sure, maybe he was being a little unreasonable. Wasn’t Mikaela being the same way, though? He had no reason not to trust Yūichirō. So it was only fair to be this way! He’d show Mikaela how awful it felt to not be trusted.

 

       Mikaela got up with his laptop and phone. Without another word, he left the room, and Yūichirō locked and shut the door behind him. Now, he looked for a place to hide his pills, which proved to be a little difficult because there weren’t many places in his room.

 

       Eventually, he settled on stuffing them behind and under his dresser, in the space beneath the last drawer. Yūichirō wiped his hands triumphantly, then blinked around his room. Now what could he do? He had no phone yet. Guren said he’d have to earn one again somehow. And the disposable phone Mikaela got him was, well, disposed.

 

       Maybe I can call my friends over. I haven’t heard from them in awhile.

 

       Yūichirō unlocked his door, feeling a little awkward. He opened it and saw Mikaela crisscrossed on the floor, his phone to his ear. “...Yeah,” he said to the person he was talking to, sounding depressed. “No, sorry. I don’t think I can today.”

 

       He forced himself to ignore the blond as he kept talking, instead walking down the steps and entering the living room.

 

       “Oh, hey,” Shinya said with a smile, waving at him once he came into view. “Good morning. How are you feeling, Yū? I heard Mikaela found your pills.”

 

       Guren looked up from his phone, sitting next to Shinya on the couch. “Morning, idiot. Speaking of, where’s that ‘celebrity’? Shinya says he follows you around all day.”

 

       Yūichirō looked behind him. Mikaela wasn’t there. I could tell them now, huh? But as he kept looking, he noticed that Mikaela was just behind the wall, and he had moved to stare into Yūichirō’s eyes.

 

       He felt irritated again. What a creep. “Who cares?” Yūichirō said brightly, walking up to them. “It was getting annoying, anyway. I think I liked him better when I didn’t know him at all.”

 

       Shinya and Guren exchanged glances. Yūichirō only smiled, knowing full well that Mikaela could hear him.

 

       “Anyway,” he continued. “Can I invite my friends over? I feel a lot better now....”

 

       Guren looked ready to deny his request, but Shinya spoke up before he could. “Of course! My phone’s right on the coffee table. And don’t forget Guren and I need to leave for work in a bit, so see if you guys can go somewhere.”

 

       “What?” Yūichirō started, picking up Shinya’s phone. “You think I’m going to mess up the house with them or something? Where’s the trust?” Yūichirō placed a hand over his heart, faking a hurt expression as he turned to face them.

 

       “I mean,” Shinya went on as Guren huffed and went back on his phone. “You can stay here, too.... But it would be better to go out because we don’t have anything to eat and Guren and I won’t be able to cook.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes and tapped on Shinya’s phone to call Shinoa. “Why’d you include Guren? You know he doesn’t do anything.”

 

       “Watch your mouth, brat,” Guren quickly said, defending his honor.

 

       “Hey!” Yūichirō said once Shinoa picked up, turning away and ignoring his father. “Do you think you and everyone else can come over? It’s kind of boring here, and I haven’t heard from you guys in a while.”

 

       “Oh, that was quick," Shinoa said with a giggle through the phone, sounding just as she always did. It made him feel all jittery and happy inside. ”I can definitely make it, but I’ll call everyone else and see if they’re up for it.”

 

       “Great!” Yūichirō said. “Um, as soon as possible, if you can? My parents are gonna leave soon, and I don’t want to be alone.”

 

       “Uh... yeah! I’ll tell them. Okay, I’ll call you back.

 

       “You can just text Shinya,” he said before she could hang up. “And he’ll tell me.”

 

       Once they said their byes, Yūichirō set the phone back on the table and told his parents what she told him. He then left the living room, feeling just perfect. Until he saw Mikaela again.

 

       “You invited your friends over?” the blond had the guts to ask, following Yūichirō as he went up the stairs.

 

       “I don’t want you to talk to me.”

 

       Mikaela kept talking, though. “What am I going to do? I don’t want them to see me.”

 

       Yūichirō entered his room, though he turned around at the door before Mikaela could enter. “Figure it out yourself.”

 

       Just as he shut the door, Mikaela interrupted it with his hand, easily shoving it to the point where it wouldn’t close. “I can’t, Yū. I have to be around you, so you have to tell me if you’re staying in your room.”

 

       Yūichirō kept forcing it shut, but he didn’t want to crush Mikaela’s fingers, so he put in less force. “I don’t know. We’ll move around, maybe.”

 

       “Call it off,” Mikaela said. “You can’t hang out with them until I trust you.”

 

       “Are you fucking kidding me?” Yūichirō said, releasing the door. It spread open as Mikaela pushed it at the same time. “What makes you think you have the right to say that to me? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

 

       Mikaela opened his mouth, looking confused and insulted, until he seemed to realize his mistake. “I... yeah, sorry. You’re right.”

 

       “You must be the dumbest piece of shit I’ve ever met,” Yūichirō said with a scoff, shutting the door in his face and locking it once more.


....


“And his breath was baaad. Like, real bad.”

 

       Yūichirō smiled at Shinoa’s story, enjoying the time he was spending with half of his friends again. Shihō and Yoichi couldn’t make it, but Shinoa, Mitsuba, and Akane were all sitting in a circle in the middle of Yūichirō’s room.

 

       Prior to his friend’s arrival, he had dragged Mikaela’s luggages out of his room and told the blond to hide it somewhere. Which he did once Yūichirō’s parents left. Mikaela also moved his car out of the driveway. After that, when Yūichirō answered the door for his friends, Mikaela was nowhere to be seen.

 

       “I still can’t believe you shoved me in Mika’s room,” Yūichirō said with a sigh. Despite Mikaela’s disappearance, he knew the blond was around somewhere... listening. “Can you even imagine what would have happened if he found me?”

 

       Shinoa giggled. “You’re both lucky and unlucky Mikaela-san didn’t find you. I still think you should have at least said hi, though.”

 

       Mitsuba, who was sitting next to Shinoa with her arms crossed, shook her head. “I wouldn’t have. That would be such a weird conversation. What would you say to someone who hid in your closet the entire time?”

 

       “Oh!” Akane suddenly interrupted, sounding a little jealous with a touch of forced cheerfulness. “Speaking of closets, I still haven’t gotten my stuff from the last sleepover....”

 

       Yūichirō glanced at her. Akane wasn’t really one of his friends. She just hung around because of their common interest in Mikaela. If anything, he didn’t really like her because she started to have a rude attitude ever since she found out about the blond. Whenever Mikaela was brought up, she’d get possessive of him.

 

       Which bothered him until he actually met the guy. Now, he couldn’t care less if Mikaela fucked her in his living room.

 

       And he guessed she didn’t really like him either by the way she looked at him. She probably knew Yūichirō had a crush on Mikaela. Not anymore, though. That was... long gone.

 

       “Go ahead,” Yūichirō said quietly, watching as she stood up. He assumed she just wanted to politely leave the conversation. That sleepover was ages ago, and she never mentioned leaving anything. “It’s the first door to your right.”

 

       “I know that,” Akane said, then left.

 

       The room grew quiet. Then, Shinoa spoke up. “Gee, I forgot about how much she loves Mikaela. But she hasn’t been talking about him since the concert....”

 

       Mitsuba uncrossed her arms and leaned back, using her hands to prop her up. “Yeah. I heard someone stole both her backstage pass and her ticket. That’s so messed up.”

 

       Yūichirō wanted to roll his eyes. But he knew if that happened to him at the time, he didn’t know how he’d feel. “Anyway, enough about him. How has it been for you guys these past few days? Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”

 

       “Nothing new,” Mitsuba answered. “Shinoa’s just being as annoying as always....”

 

       “Well, actually,” Shinoa started, speaking over her. “Kimizuki and Yoichi are dating now. Isn’t that exciting?”

 

       Yūichirō’s mouth nearly dropped. “Really? Damn, it’s about time. I didn’t know how much longer I could have dealt with their googly eyes.”

 

       Shinoa chuckled, but before their conversation could go on, Akane entered the room.

 

       “I, um...” she mumbled, looking a little nervous. “I think I’m gonna leave for now, guys.... I don’t know, I just feel....”

 

       Yūichirō furrowed his brows in confusion. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” he said reassuringly. “You can go.” No one wants you here anyway.

 

       “Okay,” Akane said. She grabbed her bag from the corner of the room, and Yūichirō stopped paying attention to her and faced the group again.

 

       “Shinya says we have no snacks,” he told them. “But I’m sure we could cook something if we get bored and hungry, right?”

 

       Mitsuba tsk’d. “That’s such a bad—”

 

       “Great idea!” Shinoa finished for her with a clap of her hands. “As you know, Mitsuba and I are fantastic cooks.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes. “I forgot Kimizuki isn’t here. Never mind. Maybe we could order something.”

 

       “Hey, but...” Mitsuba started, looking concerned. “Is Akane okay? She seemed weird ever since we brought up Mikaela.”

 

       He glanced behind him, wondering if Akane was still in the room. But the door was closed and there was no sign of her. He then shrugged, looking at Mitsuba. “She always gets like that. And to hear I’ve gotten close to Mika before she could? It makes sense she’d be jealous.” Even more if I told her I took a shower with him.

 

       “I wouldn’t worry about it,” Shinoa said, patting Mitsuba’s back to which the golden blond shoved her away.

 

       “Anyway,” Mitsuba said pointedly. “If we order something now, it’ll come right when we get hungry. Let’s decide on something.”

 

       Shinoa pulled out her phone. Yūichirō blinked at it for a moment. “I don’t have any money, though,” he said, remembering that he’d have to get a job once summer was over.

 

       “Did Shinya not leave you anything like he always does?” Mitsuba asked while Shinoa was busy tapping away on her phone.

 

       Yūichirō glanced away thoughtfully. “Maybe. He didn’t say anything, but maybe he left it on the counter.” He then got up. “I’ll be right back.”

 

       “Bring us water!” Shinoa called to him just as he left the room.

 

       It’s good to be around my friends again, he thought happily even though Shinoa had ordered him around. He closed the door behind him before heading down the stairs. I hate even thinking it, but I really missed them....

 

       When Yūichirō got to the last step, he froze, hearing something weird. Like a creaking sound, maybe?

 

       Nervously, the raven-haired slowly walked towards the wall that hid the living room. The sounds only got louder, and his heartbeat quickened at the thought of finding something horrible. He didn’t know what the hell that was, but it sounded like....

 

       His eyes widened when he looked over the edge.

 

       As if his thought from earlier brought the very situation to life, Mikaela was fucking Akane in his living room.

Chapter Text

Yūichirō turned on the vacuum again, passing it over the carpet in the living room. Behind him, Mikaela dusted the TV, Shinya was cooking, and Guren was fixing the couch.

 

       “Seriously. It was just fine two days ago,” Guren said aloud over the sound of the vacuum. Yūichirō looked at him as he set the screwdriver down in the toolbox and wiped his forehead. Then, Yūichirō looked at Mikaela, whose expression was blank as he returned the stare.

 

       He then shut off the vacuum when Guren spoke again. “Did you do something with your friends?”

 

       Yūichirō kept looking at Mikaela for another moment, then finally shook his head. “Nah, that’s weird. I have no idea what could have happened.”

 

       “Well,” Guren went on, pulling out some sort of contraption that held the couch up as he was installing another leg. “If it gets broken again after your friends come over,” he held up a different screwdriver, pointing it at Yūichirō. “I’m blaming you.”

 

       Mikaela’s phone started ringing, which rung over the sound of Guren’s voice. Yūichirō turned on the machine again once Mikaela answered. The blond gave him a hard look before leaving the living room to speak to whoever had called him.

 

       It had been two days ever since Yūichirō was on his pills again. Two days since he invited his friends over, and two days since he found Mikaela fucking one of them.

 

       He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw it: Mikaela, shirt off and pants low enough to expose his dick to fuck Akane with. Innocent yet rude Akane, who only wore her bra and her underwear, both half off. He wanted to puke at the sight.

 

       Even worse, they just continued going at it. They didn’t know Yūichirō was standing there, eyes wide and watching. He saw the harsh yet rhythmic movements Mikaela made as he fucked her on the couch, sitting up and holding her legs with every thrust. He could see the gag in Akane’s mouth as she lay on her back, feeling great pleasure, he’d assume.

 

       After a moment, Yūichirō had regained his senses. He called Mikaela’s name, and the blond stopped, pulling out as if it was nothing. He didn’t even look at him. Akane, however, seemed surprised when she turned to look at Yūichirō. But Mikaela had grabbed her face so that she’d look at him. Only to pull out the gag, though.

 

       “I gave you what you wanted, so leave,” Mikaela had said, and Akane hurried to put on her clothes. She protested in between, saying that he didn’t even finish, but he ignored her. Yūichirō continued to stare at nothing as Akane pushed past him and left.

 

       It was extremely awkward. He didn’t know what to do with himself then. Could he still go back up the stairs and pretend nothing happened? Absolutely not. He told his friends to leave with the excuse that he just wanted to be alone. They were confused, yet they left.

 

       That was so fucking embarrassing, Yūichirō thought to himself, still feeling awkward as fuck even though hardly anything changed. Mikaela didn’t even look like he cared. I can’t believe that happened. I can’t believe him.

 

       Once Yūichirō finished vacuuming and Mikaela’s phone call ended, everyone was called to dinner. Hardly any words were spoken. When they finished, his parents did the dishes and he went back to his room. Mikaela trailed behind him.

 

       Soon, the time to shower came along.

 

       “Not again,” Yūichirō said, tugging his arm away from the blond who had grabbed it as he exited the bathroom. “I’m just going to stay in my room. Stop thinking I’m gonna tell.”

 

       Mikaela pulled him towards himself. “I can’t know that for sure.”

 

       “Can’t you see that I haven’t said anything this past, what, week? Do you think I care what happens to you?”

 

       “I think you know something that could ruin my life and you hate me enough to do it.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. “You and your stupid trust issues....”

 

       He let Mikaela drag him into the bathroom. Instead of standing by the door as he always did, Yūichirō sat down on the toilet, feeling tired. Shinya made them clean the whole house and all he wanted to do was lay down and rest. He couldn’t pull off standing around.

 

       Mikaela undressed in front of him casually. Yūichirō didn’t want to see it at first, so he had moved his hand in front of his eyes, but then.... He didn’t know. He just felt like looking. His hand dropped and he was almost face-to-face with Mikaela’s dick.

 

       The blond was standing sideways, facing the bath. Yūichirō wanted to look away, but he forced himself not to. It’s probably only so big because he fucks everyone and everything, he thought crossly, his eyes moving up a little as Mikaela took off his shirt. And he’s not even hard. He’s never hard.

 

       “What’s—” Yūichirō started, but Mikaela spoke over him at the same time.

 

       “Why are you staring so hard?” Mikaela asked as he moved forwards to turn on the faucet in the shower.

 

       Yūichirō looked away. “I’m just remembering how you had sex with my friend on my couch.”

 

       “So?”

 

       So,' he says. Yūichirō rolled his eyes. Like that’s completely normal.

 

       “Anyway,” Yūichirō continued as Mikaela entered and was finally out of his sight. “This... might be a weird question, but I noticed that you’re never... well, erect. Why is that?”

 

       “Because nothing ever turns me on?” Mikaela answered, saying it as if it was a stupid question.

 

       Yūichirō glanced at the figure behind the curtains. “But sometimes you can’t stop your dick from getting hard. Like... like when you were grinding on me, for example. I didn’t feel anything.”

 

       Mikaela went silent.

 

       So, he does have a problem? And now he’s getting all embarrassed. Yūichirō felt a smirk. Okay, I know it might be rude, but he makes fun of my mental disorders! I should be able to make fun of his disorders, too. He also seems overly confident about his dick. I want to rain on his parade. Maybe I can make him feel just as bad as I did when he took my medication from me.

 

       Mikaela sighed before Yūichirō could say anything. “I did get hard.”

 

       “You’re just saying that,” Yūichirō nearly interrupted, feeling smug. “Do you have some sort of condition? Are you ashamed?”

 

       “I’m ashamed at the fact that I got hard because of you. My dick is perfectly fine.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Sure. So, what’s it called? Erectile dysfunction or something? That’s kinda sad. I’m glad I don’t suffer through that. How do you even fuck if your dick stays small and soft?”

 

       The curtains slid open loudly. Yūichirō, surprised, looked over to Mikaela. He seemed expressionless rather than bothered. “Okay, Yū. I get it. You want to see.” Mikaela then stepped out, dripping with water. “Then go ahead and stare. I can get hard just by looking at you.”

 

       Yūichirō uncrossed his arms and backed up when Mikaela stepped in front of him. The blond then leaned over him, putting his hands in the space on either side of Yūichirō. His blue eyes stared deep into Yūichirō’s green ones, and they stayed like that.

 

       “Get away,” Yūichirō said, glancing off to the side. “This is stupid and awkward.” He couldn’t help but look back in Mikaela’s eyes now that they were so close. Mikaela wasn’t meeting his eyes anymore, though he was still looking at his face. “There’s no way you can get hard like this.”

 

       “If I was thinking about nothing, then I won’t get fully erect, obviously.” Mikaela backed up, though only a little for Yūichirō to be able to see his dick. “But that’s not the case.”

 

       He saw past Mikaela’s chest and down to the blond’s crotch area. It was a little bigger and it looked harder now, but he couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t even standing up. “Then it doesn’t really count,” Yūichirō mumbled. “You’re cheating.”

 

       “Don’t get me wrong,” Mikaela said, moving back and finally away from him. “I can even get off just by the look on your face. But I choose not to. I’m not gay like you.”

 

       “And what’s your problem with gays?” Yūichirō asked, feeling offended. “Besides, if you’re so sure that you can, then doesn’t that make you gay? If you get turned on by the sight of a boy....”

 

       Mikaela didn’t answer. He only turned back towards the shower.

 

       “Wait,” Yūichirō said, which stopped Mikaela in his tracks. “You didn’t even get hard. What were you thinking about?”

 

       The blond sighed again. He stood in front of Yūichirō and stepped closer. “Touch it,” he said, staring at him.

 

       “N-no....” His line of sight went to Mikaela’s dick again. “I don’t want to touch something that’s been everywhere. Why do you have sex with everything, anyway?” he added, trying to change the subject. “Are you trying to get a bigger dick?”

 

       Mikaela laughed. “Bigger? Oh, no, Yū-chan. I don’t think it could get any bigger than this. And that’s not how it works.”

 

       “Don’t call me that,” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks light up.

 

       “Would you rather be called bitch instead, just like all those other times?” Mikaela’s voice was lighthearted, but when Yūichirō met his eyes, he looked a little guilty. “Anyway,” the blond then said when their eyes met. “Touch it. If you really think I can’t get hard, then touch it.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “No....”

 

       “Why not? Are you scared?”

 

       “Of what?” he scoffed, crossing his arms again. “That I’ll catch your E.D.?”

 

       “Or you’ll like the way it feels and crave to have it in your ass instead?”

 

       As if, Yūichirō thought. That dick is covered in bad decisions. He kept those thoughts in his mind in case Mikaela had another comeback.

 

       Since he didn’t want Mikaela to be so smug (and he didn’t want to miss the opportunity), Yūichirō hesitantly reached forwards with a hand. He half-expected Mikaela to do what he did the first time—make Yūichirō feel bad for actually wanting to go through with it by stopping him at the last minute.

 

       But when he looked up at the blond as if for confirmation, Mikaela only stared back at him with an icy, daring look. Yūichirō looked back at his dick instead, then grabbed it gently in his hand.

 

       Immediately at the touch, he felt it almost move. Then, slowly, it stiffened in his hand, though Mikaela was deathly silent. Yūichirō scooted forwards on the toilet so that his hand could move back, to which Mikaela’s dick responded by getting harder.

 

       I’m not even doing anything, Yūichirō thought, his eyes wandering around Mikaela’s crotch area. Just as he subconsciously began to stroke it and his fingers touched his balls, Mikaela moved back. Yūichirō looked up, but he was already entering the shower again.

 

       “M—” he started, about to say the blond’s name, then thought better of it. Why did I do that? Why did I even touch him? After everything that happened?

 

       Yūichirō moved to lean against the back of the toilet again. Of course I touched him. I’m so disgusting. After he fucked Akane with that, I still touched it. What’s wrong with me? He opened his hand and stared, remembering the feeling of Mikaela’s dick against it. The medication has been stopping my impulsive thoughts until now.

 

       “Mika,” he then said, not caring if Mikaela was uncomfortable or whatever. He looked at the curtains. “Did you give me the right pills? Or did you do something to them?”

 

       He heard a soap cap click closed and be set down harshly against the tub. “No. If I know what you’re thinking, then you did that on your own. You wanted to touch it, so you did.”

 

       “But I’ve never done something like before. I’ve always....” He looked down at his lap. Held it—

 

       “Held it in?” Mikaela finished for him. “Maybe it’s about time you decided to let out how you feel. Maybe that one day you spent unmedicated changed you. Or maybe it was something you just do normally like everything else.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “Are you sure you didn’t...?”

 

       “No, Yū. After seeing you that night, I’m never going to mess with that stuff again.”

 

       Well, he had to admit he didn’t feel all that different. Yūichirō found himself looking at Mikaela’s silhouette again, the blond’s words repeating in his head. Not like I can trust him, but I guess I appreciate him saying that.

 

       I can’t believe... he then thought, remembering the sight of Mikaela up on stage, smiling brightly at his fans and looking pure and innocent. I can’t believe this is how he really is. He shivered, a pang hitting his heart as he recalled everything that happened with Mikaela so far. He’s really the same person.... It almost seems impossible.

 

       Once Mikaela’s shower was over, they went back to the room, thought not before Yūichirō noticed that his dick was still hard. At first, he felt bad for being the cause of Mikaela’s discomfort. Then he remembered what the blond did to him and he decided he didn’t care.

 

       The time to sleep soon came. Yūichirō comfortably lay in his bed, feeling a lot better now that he was on his pills again. He never wanted to be without them.

 

       The lights were off, and he had been shuffling around, trying to sleep for the past thirty minutes. Mikaela was quiet on the air mattress below him, until he wasn’t. Yūichirō heard a small noise at first, so he strained to hear what was going on. Then he sat up, losing his sleepiness.

 

       “Can you stop?” Yūichirō whisper-shouted, trying to see Mikaela in the dark.

 

       The blond huffed out a sigh in response, pulling the blanket off from his head and continuing to pump his own dick.

 

       “Mika! Mika! I know you can hear me. Stop being gross.”

 

       More heavy breathing. Yūichirō wanted to cover his ears at the sound Mikaela’s hand was starting to make.

 

       If only I never touched his dick, Yūichirō thought, exhausted as he fell back onto his bed. “I can’t believe you,” he said quietly, Mikaela’s huffs filling his ears. It was a while until the blond finally let out one last sigh and stopped. Yūichirō then heard shuffling around the room as Mikaela presumably cleaned up his mess.

 

       “And here I thought you were repulsed by sex,” Yūichirō muttered, hoping Mikaela could hear him. “You’re messed up.”

 

       It grew quiet. Yūichirō scoffed and turned around, beginning the process of falling asleep all over again.

 

       But once again, Mikaela interrupted. “Yū,” he said quietly, sounding lost in thought.

 

       “What?” Yūichirō asked impatiently. He just wanted to sleep.

 

       “Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

 

       Yūichirō was silent for only a moment.

 

       “No.”

 

....

 

Maybe he should have said yes.

 

       The entire first day after Yūichirō told him that, Mikaela was clearly going out of his way to be nice. First it was breakfast in bed, then it was reorganizing his room for no good reason, and then it was Mikaela asking him nonstop if he was okay.

 

       “Are you comfortable?” he’d say as Yūichirō minded his own business watching TV downstairs. “Can I get you anything?” and “I’m sorry” seemed to be his favorites.

 

       The next day, Yūichirō was waking up with breakfast in his bed again. He blinked several times at the meal on his lap that Mikaela prepared for him.

 

       “Mika,” he started tiredly with a sigh, looking over to the blond who stood next to him, watching eagerly. “You know that just because you do nice things for me, it doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you?”

 

       “I’m aware,” Mikaela replied, not meeting his eyes. “But this is the least I can do to make up for what I did.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “Why is it only occurring to you now, then? Why not the day after?”

 

       Silence. He probably just wants me to forgive him so he can bully me again. He has no one else to take his frustrations out on.

 

       Regardless of Mikaela’s reasoning, Yūichirō ate his food. When he was done, Mikaela took the tray and left his room so that Yūichirō could drink his medication. He swallowed it down with the glass of water that was there then went back in his bed, sat up, and pulled the blankets with him.

 

       It’s not like I even care anymore, he thought, staring up at the ceiling. But I’m not going to tell him that. I hope he continues to feel bad.... Even as he thought it, he wasn’t even sure if that still applied. Yūichirō didn’t think on it anymore as Mikaela soon returned.

 

       “Do you want anything else?” Mikaela asked, sitting at the edge of his bed. “Do you want to go somewhere?”

 

       “Yeah, the bathroom,” Yūichirō told him, moving the blankets away from himself and getting up. Mikaela did the same, though when Yūichirō left, he stopped at the door.

 

       I wonder if he’ll buy something for me, Yūichirō suddenly thought as he washed his toothbrush. There is a thing I’ve always wanted, but I could never get because of my parents.... He felt himself buzz with excitement. Would Mika get it for me?

 

       “Mika!” he called before he started brushing his teeth. “Mika, I know you’re there. Can you do me a favor?”

 

       “Yeah?” Mikaela asked, sounding close to the door. “I’ll do anything.”

 

       Yūichirō moved towards the door, too, not wanting to shout in case Shinya could overhear. It was Saturday, after all. He didn’t have work.

 

       “I want...” he trailed off, feeling awkward. “I want a dildo.”

 

       Mikaela was silent for a moment. “You want a what?

 

       “You know! A dildo,” he said again. He didn’t like the way that word played on his tongue. “I want one. Can you get it for me?”

 

       “Well,” Mikaela started awkwardly with a sigh, “you’d have to come with me so you can decide which one you want.”

 

       “Any,” he responded, moving from the door and towards the sink.

 

       Mikaela stayed close to the door. “It can’t be any. If it were up to me, I’d give you the biggest one there is, and you wouldn’t be able to do anything with it.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t respond right away as he was too busy. When he paused two minutes later, he said, “Then don’t give me the biggest one.”

 

       “Just come with me.”

 

       Then he realized why Mikaela really wanted him to tag along. He nearly forgot the blond had a problem with leaving Yūichirō by himself because of how he was being treated yesterday. Not to mention how unreasonable it really was. Yūichirō sighed and finished up brushing his teeth.

 

       “Okay, yeah. I’ll go. Just get away from the door.”

 

       “I wish you would’ve told me about this sooner,” Mikaela said, starting to sound distant as he walked away. “I would have taken you out to eat.”

 

       Yūichirō ignored him and used the bathroom before washing his hands and giving his hair a good pat down. He returned to his room to see that Mikaela had prepared clothes for him. Yūichirō glanced at the sleeved shirt, then at Mikaela, who was still looking through the dresser.

 

       “Hey, Mika,” he mumbled, picking up his clothes. “How did you know I... cut?”

 

       “Because you always wear and have so many sleeves.”

 

       Yūichirō was skeptical. “So? No one has mentioned it before. It’s not that obvious.”

 

       “It’s summer, Yū,” he said, pulling out his white hoodie. “You never roll them up, and you’re on medication. Plus, you’re a masochist. So I just assumed.”

 

       He nearly winced at hearing that term. “How... how did you know I was... that, too?”

 

       Mikaela finally looked at him curiously. “Why are you asking these questions? Are you thinking about what I did to you before....” He trailed off.

 

       “Not really,” Yūichirō said, turning away from him. “I just remembered that you knew and I never asked how.”

 

       “Well,” Mikaela sighed, sounding guilty. “When I grabbed your hair, you just let me. You didn’t try to pull my hands away. For every time that happened, too.”

 

       Yūichirō shrugged. “Maybe I just didn’t want to test you.”

 

       “You got hard the first time I was on top of you, but even my dick hurt from the pressure. There was no way someone could get turned on by that sort of pain. Except you, I guess.” Mikaela started taking off his shirt. “I pretty much just guessed for everything, and I happened to be right.”

 

       Yūichirō looked away, now thinking about when Mikaela pinned him down and revealed the two things he hated about himself. He had said three, though, right...?

 

       “What was the first thing?” Yūichirō asked, staring at the clothes on his bed. “I never understood what you meant by... doing that.”

 

       “By what?” Mikaela asked, sounding confused. “Oh,” he then seemed to remember, “grinding on you? That you were gay, obviously.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t have to ask how he knew. It was, like he said, obvious. “And... do you have a problem with that? With gays?”

 

       “No.”

 

       “You make it sound that way....”

 

       “I just thought if you were gay, it would be a problem for me since I’m a guy. I don’t think I have to worry about you catching feelings anymore, though....”

 

       Yeah, like that’ll ever happen. I’d rather fall in love with a rock.

 

       As Mikaela changed by the dresser, Yūichirō decided to stop being a bitch—as Mikaela used to put it—and started taking off his own sleeved shirt. He didn’t want to be such a wuss anymore! He wanted to be as calm and collected and not give a shit about anything like Mikaela.

 

       Albeit—he didn’t want to be anything like Mikaela, but that was the one thing he always wanted to do: not give a shit.

 

       But Yūichirō regretted his choice when he felt Mikaela behind him, the blond’s soft hand grazing against his elbow. “Can I see?” he asked from over his shoulder, his hand moving down along Yūichirō’s arm to his wrist to turn it over. He stopped right there, waiting for Yūichirō to respond.

 

       “Whatever,” he mumbled, glancing down to see that Mikaela wasn't wearing any pants yet. The blond’s jacket brushed against his bare back, making him shiver when the cold zipper touched his spine. “I don’t care.”

 

       Mikaela moved from behind him to in front of him. He turned over both of his arms and glided his fingers over Yūichirō’s cuts and scars. It was such a delicate and gentle touch... something he wouldn’t have expected the blond to have in him.

 

       Yūichirō looked up to see Mikaela’s expression. He wondered if he was feeling disgusted or weirded out, but Mikaela only had a calm and curious look on his face.

 

       When Mikaela’s hands both went to one arm, he trailed down the long cut with a finger. “Did you try to kill yourself like this?” he asked, meeting Yūichirō’s eyes.

 

       “Maybe,” he replied, looking away. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

 

       “You’re okay now, right?” Mikaela’s hands left his arm and went to his shoulders. “No more suicide attempts and no more cutting.”

 

       Yūichirō pushed his hands away, instead moving around to pick up the shirt Mikaela prepared for him. “You’re not the boss of me.”

 

       “Yū, I’m being serious. Don’t do those things anymore....”

 

       “Whatever, Mika. I just want a dildo.”

 

       “Why?” he asked, leaving Yūichirō’s side to continue getting dressed. “Why now all of a sudden?”

 

       Yūichirō slid on his shirt. “Because!” he said while it went past his mouth, muffling him for a moment. “I want to try it. And now you’ll get it for me, right?”

 

       “Well, yeah, but....” Mikaela sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

       He glanced at the blond who had just began pulling around a belt in his pants. He wondered what was with that response, but he didn’t question it. Whatever. Not my problem.

 

       Soon, they were both fully dressed and leaving the house. Yūichirō made sure to tell Shinya he was going with Mikaela before they left. He then waited for the blond to finish smoking his cigarette, then they were off on the road.

 

       Upon seeing Mikaela’s new convertible, he remembered to wonder about why he was staying around for a month, anyway. The blond only gave him one reason and told him that there were a few others, and that was it.

 

       Yūichirō would have asked about it, or remind him that there were things he could do instead of smoke, but he decided against it. He didn’t want the blond to think he cared for him. Because he really didn’t. He only wanted to satisfy his own curiosity!

 

       “So,” Mikaela started once they left his neighborhood. “I don’t know where any of the sex stores are. Do you?”

 

       “No....” Yūichirō glanced out the window. “Does the mall have one, though? Maybe we could go there.”

 

       “Damn,” Mikaela said to himself, pulling out his phone with a hand as they slowed to a stop. “Here. Try to get my GPS system to work. Don’t snoop around for anything else.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes, taking the unlocked phone from the blond. “Not like I care enough to do that.” He then opened up the internet browser and began searching. After a few minutes, he found it, but the navigation system was wild. Yūichirō had no idea how to fix it.

 

       “Whatever,” Yūichirō then said, handing back Mikaela’s phone. “I think I know where that street is. It’s right by this place I know....”

 

       “Don’t get us lost.”

 

       To which he did not do. Almost. What mattered was that they arrived, and Yūichirō was having second thoughts.

 

       “Can’t you do it for me?” he asked, holding onto his seatbelt. Mikaela had already turned off the car and was at Yūichirō’s side. His door was open, and Mikaela was leaning against the closed hood of the car.

 

       “Stop being a pussy,” Mikaela said, his eyes hidden by the sunglasses. “You wanted a dildo, so let’s go and get one.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “No. Just get any for me. I don’t want to go inside.”

 

       “Why not?”

 

       “Because!”

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela started, moving away. “Come on. It’s not as bad as it sounds, okay? No one is going to judge you. Other than me.”

 

       He slapped the hand Mikaela offered him away. “If someone recognizes me....”

 

       “I doubt you’ll see anyone you know.”

 

       Yūichirō made sure to let out a very long and reluctant sigh. He unclicked his seatbelt and got out of the car, Mikaela closing the door behind him. They then walked inside the store, and Yūichirō immediately wanted to unsee everything. Before he could turn around and sprint away, Mikaela’s arm had snaked around his waist and prevented his escape.

 

       “Just act calm and normal and no one will look at you.”

 

       Yūichirō doubted that. Mikaela moved away from him and started walking further into the small store. Yūichirō hurried to follow him, not wanting to be left behind.

 

       These things are so weird, Yūichirō thought, glancing at some of the items on the display shelves. I could never picture myself wearing stuff like that.

 

       “Excuse me,” Mikaela said, pulling Yūichirō out of his thoughts. The blond was talking to one of the workers walking around. She had glanced at Yūichirō without expression, then answered Mikaela’s question. Once again, they were walking off, this time in a different direction.

 

       Yūichirō stopped when Mikaela did. “Here,” the blond said, stepping to the side. “Pick one.”

 

       He stared up in awe at the rows of dildos lined up. He wrinkled his nose at some of the big, big ones, then looked to Mikaela. “Can you help...?”

 

       “I don’t know anything,” Mikaela said, though he crouched down in front of the shelf. “But whatever. What exactly do you want to use it for?”

 

       Yūichirō looked away, embarrassed. “Do I have to tell you that?”

 

       “You want me to help, right? So tell me. Do you want it in your ass? As a gift for a girl? To suck on for some reason?”

 

       “Uh,” he started, itching his cheek innocently. “The first and last.”

 

       “I hope not in that same order.”

 

       Yūichirō looked back to him and watched as he picked up a box and read what it said. Yūichirō, standing behind him, looked at all the different sorts of dildos just sitting around in their boxes. He didn’t know there were so many types! They all seemed to have different uses, too, but all he wanted was something simple.

 

       “I don’t think you should get one that vibrates,” Mikaela said, setting a box back where it was. “Or anything that does something a normal dick can’t do. You haven’t experienced the real thing, so your expectations shouldn’t be—”

 

       “What!” Yūichirō interrupted, processing that insult after a second. “What do you mean I haven’t experienced the real thing? Like you would know! I’m not a virgin, you dick.”

 

       Mikaela seemed genuinely surprised when he turned to look at him. “You’re not?”

 

       “No!”

 

       “You sure do act like one,” Mikaela mumbled, sounding irritated.

 

       Yūichirō ignored him. “I just haven’t... done it with a guy.”

 

       “Good,” Mikaela said, continuing to look through the dildos in front of him.

 

       “What do you mean, ‘good’?” Yūichirō squinted at him, crossing his arms.

 

       “I mean,” Mikaela went on, nearly interrupting him. “That’s good, I guess. You should do it when you’re ready, or whatever.”

 

       “I am ready. I’ve been ready. That’s why I want a dildo so I can see what it’s like. I want to be prepared and super ready.”

 

       “Do you, now,” Mikaela stated rather than asked as if he didn’t care about the answer. “Okay, what about this one?” He held up one of the contained, smaller, pink dildos. Yūichirō stared at it before staring at him.

 

       “Really?”

 

       “Why not?”

 

       “Way too small. It doesn’t even look realistic.”

 

       Mikaela sighed, setting it back. Yūichirō watched as his fingers hovered over a white, medium-sized one, then went to the box on its side next to it. That one was black and way too big.

 

       “Don’t even think about it,” Yūichirō said, watching as he began to pull it out. “What about the one next to it?”

 

       Mikaela looked to the left, in the opposite direction. That one was black, too, but smaller. “This?” he asked, about to pull it out.

 

       “No, the other one.”

 

       Mikaela hesitated. “This?” he asked again, pointing to the neon green dildo next to it.

 

       “No, Mika! The white one!”

 

       “Why?” he mumbled, looking to the one Yūichirō was talking about. “Isn’t that too realistic....”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “Let me see.”

 

       After a moment, Mikaela pulled it out and handed it to him reluctantly. Yūichirō snatched it from him and looked it over. It was about the color of Mikaela’s skin, and it was nearly six inches long. He thought it would be perfect, but as he looked back down to Mikaela, he noticed the blond was staring at the row in front of him. He was quiet and appeared bothered with something.

 

       What’s his problem? Yūichirō wondered, staring at him for a moment. “I like this one,” Yūichirō said, ignoring him and looking back at it.

 

       “I think,” Mikaela started, pulling out a blue dildo. “That you should get this one. It’s longer if you want to practice deepthroating, and the girth isn’t that wide, so it'll be easier.”

 

       “They’re the same length, Mika,” Yūichirō said, looking between the two of them. He was right about the girth, though. The one in Yūichirō’s hand was really thick. Maybe too thick, though it did look normal at first. But at the same time, the blue one didn’t have any definition like the white one....

 

       “Okay, fine,” he finally decided. “If it’ll make you feel better for whatever reason.”

 

       “I mean, it’s not like I care,” Mikaela said, switching the boxes. “Why would I?”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “I don’t know. You’re just acting weird.”

 

       “No, I’m not.... Anyway, you want to suck on that, right? So let’s get some flavored lube and leave this place.”

 

       Whatever, Yūichirō thought, following Mikaela with the box in his hands. I don’t care what he’s feeling.

 

       Which contradicted his reasoning behind getting the blue dildo, but Yūichirō wasn’t about to bring that up in his thoughts.

 

       “Strawberry?” Mikaela asked when he suddenly stopped, Yūichirō nearly bumping into him.

 

       “Uh, yeah, I don’t care.”

 

       They picked that up—though not after Yūichirō noticed another bottle of lube Mikaela took with him—then went to pay. Yūichirō set the dildo down on the counter and awkwardly left to look at the shelf while Mikaela spoke with the cashier.

 

       “Oh, really?” Mikaela was saying flirtatiously. Yūichirō rolled his eyes and looked at a few dildo keychains, wondering who in their right mind would get something like that.

 

       “Well, unfortunately for you,” Mikaela went on with that voice, making Yūichirō feel uncomfortable. “I’m going to have to....”

 

       Ooh, Yūichirō suddenly thought, Mikaela’s voice drowning in his excitement. I want to try this. He picked up a small box containing nipple clamps, then scurried over to the blond.

 

       “Can I get these, too?” Yūichirō asked, interrupting the conversation he was having with the female cashier. He held up the box to Mikaela.

 

       “Of course,” he said kindly, taking it from him gently and handing it to her.

 

       As the lady scanned it, she said, “You’ll buy anything for him, huh? He’s so lucky....”

 

       Yūichirō’s nose scrunched up in disgust. She had no idea what she was talking about! He opened his mouth to commentate, but Mikaela’s hand went in his hair.

 

       “I know, right?” the blond said with a smile, ruffling his hair playfully.

 

       “Why are you touching me?” Yūichirō said irritably, pulling Mikaela’s hands away from his head.

 

       “Oh, he’s so cute!” the woman said, once again causing Yūichirō to feel insulted.

 

       “No, I’m not!“

 

       But Mikaela was speaking over him. “He’s very adorable. Right, Yū-chan?”

 

       “God, shut up...” he mumbled, turning away. Why was everyone embarrassing him? What did he do?

 

       Finally, after that awkward moment, they were leaving the store quietly. Mikaela opened the car door for him, though Yūichirō made sure to make it obvious that he was super unthankful!

 

       As they were on the road again, Yūichirō excitedly inspected the blue dildo, knowing that in just a few minutes, he could do something with it. But what should I do first? he thought, furrowing his brows. He wanted to just put it in his ass already, though he also wanted to see what sucking dick was like.

 

       Yūichirō looked through the bag for the clamps he also got, feeling nervous. He was sure they would hurt. They looked like they’d hurt.

 

       ...Just how he liked it.

 

       “Hey, Mika,” he started as he put the stuff back in the bag. “What did you get the lube for?”

 

       “No reason.”

 

       Yūichirō glanced at him. “So you bought a big-ass bottle of lube for ‘no reason’?”

 

       No response. Whatever. Yūichirō leaned back in the seat and waited for them to get home, which wouldn’t be too long by now. He felt like a child again, impatiently waiting to play with a new toy. He really couldn’t wait, though he was kind of looking forward to getting a realistic-looking dildo.

 

       The blue one wasn’t that bad, though. It’d work just as well, he hoped. Now I’m kinda curious why Mika looked so depressed when I wanted the white one. Yūichirō mentally shrugged. He probably didn’t want it to look like his dick, he thought jokingly with a smile, then blinked.

 

       Wait, that’s exactly the reason, isn’t it? He didn’t want me to get that one because it looks almost like his! Yūichirō pictured the dildo in his mind, then tried to remember how Mikaela’s looked. But Mika’s dick is bigger than that, he thought doubtfully. And nearly just as thick. So he couldn’t have been jealous of that dildo. That wouldn’t make any sense. Unless he wished his dick was smaller, but he’s always so confident about its size.

 

       Yūichirō looked out the window, lost in thought. He was only giving me unrealistic dildo choices. There’s something weird here. Should I ask him? Yūichirō sighed. No. He pretended not to know what I was talking about when I said he was acting weird. I don’t know what his deal is.

 

       As his thoughts died down, he noticed that they were turning into his house’s parking lot. Who cares? All that matters right now is this blue dildo and what I’m going to do with it.

 

       “Oh,” Yūichirō suddenly said as he picked up the bag. “Their logo is on this.... How do we hide it?”

 

       Mikaela, whose sunglasses were already off, looked at the bag for a good moment before taking off his hoodie. “Here. C’mon, wrap it up in there and let’s go.” He then handed it to Yūichirō and hurried out the car.

 

       Yūichirō, with a smile on his face at the stupidity, unclicked his seatbelt and wrapped the jacket around the bag. He got out of the car, too, noticing that Shinya already opened the door for them.

 

       After closing the car door himself, Yūichirō greeted his father and entered the house, Mikaela behind him.

 

       “I’m gonna go to my room and... stuff,” Yūichirō mumbled, walking around a curious Shinya who was eyeing the jacket in his hands.

 

       “I bought him a toy and he’s embarrassed because it’s for children,” Mikaela lied for him, giving Shinya a kind smile.

 

       “Shut up!” he said, thankful yet annoyed that Mikaela covered for him. Thankful that now Shinya wouldn’t be too suspicious, but annoyed because Mikaela kept lying to his parents. Yūichirō marched up the stairs with Mikaela trailing behind.

 

       Once he entered his room, he unwrapped the hoodie and sat down in the middle of the room. Mikaela closed the door for him once he entered, then also sat crisscrossed in front of him.

 

       Yūichirō was already pulling the tape from the box, trying to get inside. Once it opened, he slowly slid out the dildo. Then, he pulled it out from the plastic.

 

       “It feels so weird,” he said, touching the tip with a finger. Mikaela, meanwhile, was taking out the small bottle of flavored lube from its box.

 

       “Does it?” Mikaela asked, sounding uninterested. “Does it feel different from... your own?”

 

       Yūichirō nodded, setting it down back inside the plastic. He didn’t want to keep touching it. Watching Mikaela carefully, he said, “And yours, too.” The blond met Yūichirō’s eyes. “But it doesn’t even look all that realistic, so I guessed it would be like this.”

 

       “I see,” Mikaela said quietly, handing him the lube. “Do you want me to go wash it real quick?”

 

       “Whatever,” Yūichirō said, sliding the plastic container to him. He uncapped the bottle of lube while Mikaela got up with the dildo and exited the room. Would it be weird to taste this out of the bottle? he wondered, debating on a quick lick before the blond saw him. Or if I sniffed it?

 

       He decided against it as Mikaela soon returned, closing the door behind him. When Yūichirō reached out for his dildo with grabby hands, Mikaela scoffed and handed it to him. As he sat down in front of him, Yūichirō was already pouring lube over the dildo.

 

       “So, you’re going to suck it first?”

 

       Oh, right. Mikaela was a person who both existed, and was someone Yūichirō was currently mad at.

 

       “Leave,” he mumbled, turning away from him. “It’s going to be awkward with you here. Besides, I’ve seen you enough today, so get out of my sight.”

 

       “You know,” Mikaela started, sounding like he hadn’t moved. “I didn’t have to buy that for you. You didn’t even thank me for it....”

 

       “Thank you. Now leave.”

 

       Yūichirō turned around only to see Mikaela still sitting there. “You’re going to need help, aren’t you?”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō told him, holding his dildo closer to himself. “What do you mean? Why would I need help?”

 

       “Are you going to just put it on the floor and lay down?” Mikaela asked sarcastically. “I could hold it up and move it for you.”

 

       “I’m perfectly fine with laying down.”

 

       “Come on. Let me help.”

 

       “No! That’s weird!” Yūichirō looked down when the lube finally dripped down to his fingers.

 

       Mikaela leaned forwards slowly, putting his hand over Yūichirō’s and trying to pull the dildo from his hands. “Let me at least put it in your mouth. If you don’t like it, then I’ll go. I promise.”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō said, but he loosened his grip on it and let Mikaela take it from him.

 

       Mikaela leaned back and looked at it for a moment. “Okay, open up.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “Just go.... I’m not doing this with you.”

 

       He watched as Mikaela only slowly hovered it towards him after he had scoot in. Why wasn’t he taking the hint? Was he stupid?

 

       “Take it, Yū,” he muttered, trying to fit it through his lips. Yūichirō felt the dildo touch his teeth, so he opened his mouth. As soon as his tongue tasted it, he shoved Mikaela away.

 

       “No! No, god, this is dumb....” Yūichirō moved to stand up. “I bet we look really stupid. Just get out.”

 

       Mikaela rolled his eyes. “You’re being a little bitch again,” he told him, still holding the blue dick in his hand as he also stood up. “Take this dick in your mouth already—”

 

       The door spread open before they could process the sound of the knob turning. It was Shinya. Yūichirō's eyes widened at the sight of his surprised father.

 

       He sighed. Fuck.

Chapter Text

“So let me get this straight,” Shinya started, pacing back and forth in front of them as they both sat on the couch, heads hanging low. “You bought that as a gift for Shinoa, and you were only trying to see if it worked fine by putting it in your mouth.”

 

       Yūichirō looked at Shinya, holding up a finger and about to explain how it totally made complete sense, but his father then snapped at him.

 

       “Do you think I’m some sort of idiot? Mikaela,” he then said, moving to look at the blond who held the dildo in his hands. “Why would you buy that for him?”

 

       “He asked,” Mikaela said quietly, not meeting his father’s eyes. “And I thought it would make him feel better.”

 

       Shinya covered his forehead with a hand. “I need Guren.”

 

       “Do you need to bring him into this?” Yūichirō said, getting up as Shinya started walking towards the kitchen. “Why can’t we keep this between ourselves? I-I mean it’s not that big of a deal.”

 

       “I don’t know what to do with you two,” Shinya sighed as he picked up his phone from the counter. “He’d know.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “C’mon, Shinya, you know he’ll kill me. It’s just a dildo! I’m old enough to do stuff like this. I’m an adult.

 

       “No, what you are is an idiot,” Shinya said, surprising him. “As Guren would say.”

 

       “He’s had sex before,” Mikaela cut in. “So this—”

 

       Yūichirō blinked, then his face dropped, eyes closing. Fucking Mika.

 

       “You—what. Yū, when did this happen? Oh, god. Guren!” he then said when his other father picked up the phone.

 

       “Oh,” Mikaela then said, looking at Yūichirō, the dildo wobbling pathetically in his hand. “They didn’t know that.”

 

       Yūichirō sucked in a deep breath. He’d yell at Mikaela later. He tugged at Shinya’s arm to get him to stop talking. “Please, don’t tell him....”

 

       “Guren, I know you’re busy right now, but can you try to leave early? Something happened and I really, really need you here.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. The phone call ended and Shinya turned to look at the blond. “Mikaela,” he said, covering his eyes. “Put that away. I cannot stand to see that in my line of sight.”

 

       When the blond left the kitchen, Shinya suddenly pulled Yūichirō close. “You two didn’t have sex, did you?”

 

       “No!” He pushed his father away slightly. “With him? I would never. I don’t even like him.”

 

       Shinya looked at him doubtfully. “Yū, you’ve had the biggest crush on him for two years straight.”

 

       “Well, I don’t like him anymore. He’s horrible and mean.”

 

       “No, he’s not,” Shinya said, looking at Yūichirō curiously. “Why would you say that?”

 

       “Because he does things, Shinya. When you’re not around, Mika—”

 

       Before he could finish his sentence, he felt someone pull his arm back, turning him around all the while. He faced whoever spun him, but he couldn’t process the situation before Mikaela’s lips were on his own. He subconsciously closed his eyes just as Mikaela did, though he did notice the dark look the blond gave him.

 

       What, he thought as Mikaela was quickly moving away.

 

       “I do that,” Mikaela said emotionlessly, forcing his arm around Yūichirō’s lower waist when he turned towards his father again. “Because I’m deeply in love with your son.”

 

       “You’re what.

 

       “You’re what? ” Yūichirō said after Shinya, still in Mikaela’s grip.

 

       “I—” Shinya started, letting out a deep breath. “My son’s going to be dragged into the media now. His life is over.”

 

       “What?” Yūichirō shook his head, though he was still lost. “Why would I—no! We’re not—he’s not—no!”

 

       “We are,” Mikaela said, squeezing his side harshly with his fingers. “I know it’s only been a week, but I really like him. And he likes me, too. He’s just shy.”

 

       Yūichirō pried Mikaela’s fingers off of him. “No! No, Shinya, don’t trust him. Don’t believe what he’s—”

 

       “Yū-chan,” Mikaela whispered, his hand snaking to the back of his head. He gripped his black hair and pushed him close so that they were facing each other. “Yū-chan, you like me back, right?” Mikaela’s lips went to the side of Yūichirō’s mouth. “Don’t say no; you’ll hurt my feelings.”

 

       He shivered, feeling Mikaela’s hand go to his lower back, gently trailing up and down.

 

       “Okay, you two need to talk,” Shinya said. “I can take the hint, but this conversation isn't over.”

 

       He wanted to tell Shinya to stay, but he was paralyzed under Mikaela’s touches. He couldn’t move, and frankly, he didn’t want to try. His father was gone before he knew it.

 

       Mikaela began to kiss the side of his mouth. Yūichirō melted into his embrace, though as soon as Mikaela bit his bottom lip harshly, he pushed away from him. He regained his senses. Yūichirō wiped his lips and let out a hot breath.

 

       “Mika,” he whispered, not meeting the blond’s gaze. “Why would you do that?”

 

       “That’s my line to you,” Mikaela replied, leaning back against the counter before running his fingers through his hair tiredly. “Why were you about to tell him that?”

 

       “It slipped out,” Yūichirō mumbled. He then rose his fingers to his lips and prodded them. “You didn’t have to kiss me. You didn’t have to tell Shinya all of that.”

 

       “But I did,” Mikaela answered. “And now we’re dating.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “No, Mika. Guren would never approve. Neither will Shinya. I don’t even want to be with you.”

 

       “I don’t care about what you want anymore,” Mikaela started, already speaking over him as he pulled out the pack of cigarettes he always had on him. “I know I haven’t made up for what I did. I know I will never make up for what I did. But I’m sick of you holding up your nose as if you’re looking down on me when we both know I'm better than you. So, it’s about time you learn your place again. I will force you to submit to me if I have to.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked at him several times. “Excuse me?” he said, chuckling and crossing his arms. “What right do you think you have to be saying that to me? Do you think I’d be here right now if you weren’t awake after you stole my pills, Mika? Do you think you’d be speaking to me this way if I was fucking dead?”

 

       Mikaela paused before he could put a cigarette in his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking down. “I’m so sorry, Yū. I know you could never forgive me for that. I’ll never forgive myself for that. But there’s no more time for messing around.” He looked up. “I have a life of my own, and I can’t sit around all day taking your bullshit and trying to please you. Things need to get serious again.”

 

       “Then do it without me.” Yūichirō glanced at the counter absentmindedly. “Get out of my life, Mika, before you ruin it more than you already have.”

 

       “I can’t do that,” Mikaela said, walking away. “I need you, and you need me.”

 

       Yūichirō followed. He still had more things to say. “I don’t need you. Don’t speak for me. I could care less if you disappeared one day.”

 

       “You say that, but you know it’s not true.” Mikaela opened the front door and stepped out. “You want me in your life whether you like it or not.”

 

       Yūichirō paused at the door. “No... no, I don’t. I could have lived without you.”

 

       “Is that so?” Mikaela lit up the cigarette in his mouth.

 

       “Yes,” he replied, holding up his head as Mikaela puffed out smoke.

 

       The blond then turned around to look at him. “You still haven’t told me your story,” Mikaela pointed out. “Think back on it. You don’t have to tell me, but just remember it. Can you still say you would be alive right now if it weren’t for me?”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t have to think. He already knew the answer. “No,” he started, looking down as he lied through his teeth. “No, you—”

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela interrupted. “I saved your life six days ago.”

 

       “Only because you drove me to suicide!” he shouted, squeezing his fists. “That doesn’t count!”

 

       Mikaela flicked the ashes out into the air, letting the slight breeze make them fly away. “I know that it’s my fault, but I could have let you die and no one would have known it was me. But I didn’t....”

 

       “Anyone would have saved my life in that situation,” Yūichirō retorted, staring at Mikaela as he continued to smoke. He then realized the smell would get inside, so he stepped out and closed the door behind him. “You’re not special.”

 

       “The point here is,” Mikaela started, facing him. “I’m staying with you. You’re the only person I’m not close with that knows what I’m really like. I can’t let you leave my sight.”

 

       Yūichirō took in a deep breath. He was sick and tired of Mikaela with the same damn thing over and over again. “I’m not gonna tell! I don’t care about you, Mika! Go ahead and live your stupid celebrity life. I don’t care about ruining it. I just want my own life back.”

 

       “You have it. And it’ll be better now that I’m in it.”

 

       “You conceited fuck,” Yūichirō muttered disbelievingly. “Oh, my god I hate you. I hate you so much.”

 

       “I’m not very fond of you, either.”

 

       “Shut up! Shut up. I can’t stand you anymore.” Yūichirō turned around, ready to leave his ass there and lock him out.

 

       Mikaela grabbed his hand in time, and Yūichirō already tried pulling away from him. “But you are so goddamn irresistible, and I would kiss you until your lips went numb. If only I didn’t just smoke...." He sighed, not letting go. "I’m sorry. Yū, I hope one day we’ll be close friends.”

 

       “That will never happen. I don’t want to be near you. I hate you, Mika.”

 

       “I hate you, too.”

 

....

 

They spent the rest of the day quietly doing laundry and running errands for Shinya until Guren got home. When he did, he lectured them about the life of a celebrity and how their relationship wouldn’t work out. Then they told him that they weren’t even together and they’ve never done a single thing. Yūichirō bet that made him feel stupid.

 

       He was glad Mikaela agreed on not doing the whole ‘boyfriends in front of parents, enemies behind closed doors’ thing.

 

       They went to sleep and the next day came. And the rest of that day went, the next, and it was Monday again. His parents were out for work (although they hadn't said anything), and Yūichirō was watching TV downstairs on the floor. Mikaela sat on the couch, talking to someone on his phone as per usual.

 

       As Mikaela’s phone call ended, the blond got up. Yūichirō glanced over to him and the couch in disgust. He’d try to avoid sitting on it as much as possible, but sometimes he honestly just forgot Mikaela had sex there.

 

       “You’re going to smoke again?” he asked, tapping on the remote repeatedly to turn the TV off.

 

       “Yes.”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō said, getting up from the floor when it finally shut off. “Stop smoking already.”

 

       Mikaela looked over to him curiously. “Why?”

 

       “Because you fucking smell, Mika!” Yūichirō walked over to him and snatched the cigarette pack out of his hands. “I’m sick and tired of your stupid smoke smell and your stupid smoke breath! I hate it. Stop smoking now.”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “I can’t just stop like that.”

 

       “Well, try!” Yūichirō stuffed the pack down his pants. “Because you’re not getting these back.” He turned around and stalked away into the kitchen.

 

       “Yū, stop messing around,” Mikaela said, following behind him. He didn’t even sound that upset or bothered. “I don’t want you to cover my cigarettes in your sweat.”

 

       “I don’t sweat that much,” Yūichirō replied, rolling his eyes. He opened the fridge and pulled out something to drink. “I bet you do because your dick and balls are so big, they have nowhere to breathe.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed, though Yūichirō wondered if he was finally getting to him with his big-dick insults. He’d been using them for the past day, deciding to use his size against him.

 

       “You’re implying yours are so small they can breathe more than fine,” Mikaela retorted, leaning against the counter next to the fridge.

 

       Yūichirō moved around the center counter to get a glass cup. “Nah, my balls are huge. I’m just not nasty like you.”

 

       “You don’t even shave,” Mikaela said as he started pouring his drink. “So you automatically sweat more. I shave every week.”

 

       “Wow, thanks for that piece of information,” Yūichirō replied with a roll of his eyes. He took a few sips before saying, “And why are you paying attention to the fact that I shave or not? Creep.”

 

       “You’re the one who started sobbing in the shower for no reason.”

 

       “You’re the one who made me cry, and you decided to enter the shower with all your damn clothes on to see me naked.”

 

       “No," Mikaela denied, crossing his arms. “I went in to comfort you.”

 

       Yūichirō finished drinking, then went to clean it in the sink. Mikaela put away the drink in the fridge for him.

 

       “I’m not having this weird conversation with you,” Yūichirō said as he turned on the faucet. “You just need to stop being a smoker.”

 

       Mikaela stepped next to him. Yūichirō pulled out a paper towel to dry his hands. “Aren’t you uncomfortable?” Mikaela asked, clearly looking at his crotch. Yūichirō turned away from him.

 

       “You would be,” Yūichirō retorted as he went back to the living room. “Because there would be no space in there. You can’t even do something as clever as this because you’ve been cursed with a big dick.”

 

       “My cock is a blessing,” Mikaela said, no longer following him as Yūichirō had sat back down on the floor. “And you’ll think it’s a blessing, too, when I shove all of it down your throat.”

 

       Yūichirō mockingly put a hand over his mouth. “Stop, I might puke!” He then let himself fall on his back. “Then you’ll have to clean it up because I’m way too suicidal to move.”

 

       “You’re really making jokes about your suicide attempt already?” Mikaela asked, kneeling down before sitting on his legs right by Yūichirō’s head.

 

       He let his hand fall from his mouth and he turned to face Mikaela. He propped himself up with an elbow and hand. “So what? When you go through yours, I’ll make fun of you the next day.”

 

       “No, you wouldn’t,” Mikaela said, spreading his knees apart. Yūichirō scoffed and went to his back again at the sight of Mikaela’s bulge. “Besides, I’m not weird and mentally disabled like you.”

 

       “I’m not mentally disabled,” Yūichirō was saying, but Mikaela’s phone rang while he spoke. He felt a little disappointed if he was being completely honest. He sort of enjoyed their conversations. They’ve been bickering back and forth like that since their argument after Shinya called them out, and it was fun.

 

       Mikaela picked up the call, standing up and leaving the room. Yūichirō lay there for a moment, then uncomfortably pulled out the cigarettes from his pants. He didn’t even shove it down his dick, but Mikaela seemed to think so. Yūichirō then thought for a moment of where he could hide it.

 

       Maybe anywhere. I don’t really care if he finds it. Yūichirō forced himself upwards. He wished he knew what he could do to get Mikaela to stop smoking. He had never been a smoker, so he didn’t know what it was like for him. Was it even possible?

 

       Yūichirō reluctantly lifted up the couch seat and shoved them inside. Then, he resumed his previous position until Mikaela came back. He could hear the blond talking, but he didn’t know whether or not if he cared what he was saying. Regardless, he listened to it.

 

       “Yeah,” Mikaela said after a moment. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

 

       “Oh really?” Yūichirō said quietly to himself, pretending to be the other person in the conversation. “You like it just like that, don’t you?”

 

       “You finally get something right for once in your life.”

 

       Yūichirō smirked. “I know how to put it inside of you unlike anyone else!”

 

       “Sure. Okay, right. We’ll see.”

 

       “Yeah, we will.” Yūichirō turned around on his stomach. “I bet you’re looking forward to my dick in your ass.”

 

       Mikaela was quiet for a moment. “No, that’s weird. I don’t remember... signing up for that.”

 

       “Oh, but you did! You begged for my dick last night.”

 

       “I would never,” Mikaela immediately said. “You know I don’t like it like that.”

 

       It’s going so perfectly, the fuck? Yūichirō went on, “Oh, so you’d rather put yours inside of me?”

 

       “Absolutely. I would love to. Will you let me?”

 

       Yūichirō furrowed his brows. “Uh—yeah! Oh yes, of course. Maybe you’ll let me suck on that oversized cock of yours—”

 

       He paused when Mikaela looked over the wall at him. He held out his phone, showing him that it was powering down.

 

       “You fuck,” Yūichirō cursed, turning around to get up.

 

       “You started it.”

 

       “I hate you.” Yūichirō pushed past him and went up the stairs. He wanted to use the bathroom. Mikaela, of course, followed him.

 

       “So,” the blond started. “What’s your big plan on getting me to quit smoking? I’m honestly down to try everything. I don’t really want to quit, but you’re right that I smell after.”

 

       “Go away,” Yūichirō mumbled before entering the bathroom and closing the door. He pulled out his dick while moving to the toilet.

 

       “I’m really curious, Yū.”

 

       Yūichirō held in his pee uncomfortably. “Let me use the bathroom, stupid. Then we can talk.”

 

       “Okay,” Mikaela said. He waited until he heard the blond’s footsteps as he went down the steps, then released.

 

       Seriously, he thought to himself, tilting his head back. What is wrong with him? He's so annoying. Yūichirō sighed when he finished. He fixed his pants, flushed, washed his hands, then opened the door. Just as he looked over the steps, Mikaela was there, standing at the bottom with his arms crossed. He looked deep in thought, leaning against the wall.

 

       “What’s with you?” Yūichirō asked as he went down the stairs.

 

       “I want to smoke,” he mumbled, glancing at him.

 

       Yūichirō sighed. “Well, I don’t honestly know what to do to help.” He itched his cheek awkwardly. “You could try distracting yourself.”

 

       “How do I do that?” Mikaela clenched his jaw. “Jerk off?”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō replied. “Nothing sexual because you don’t have anyone to satisfy your needs.”

 

       “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Mikaela said, looking off to the front door as if he could list all the girls he knew he could fuck at any moment.

 

       Yūichirō shoved him even though he was already against the wall. “Stop being weird. Why don’t you just hold in your need and wait until you get used to the suffering? Bam, cured.”

 

       “You’re fucking dumb,” Mikaela said. “God, whatever. Just give me my cigarettes back, Yū.” The blond’s hand went to his crotch, but Yūichirō backed off just in time.

 

       “I don’t have them anymore. You’ll have to turn the whole house upside down like how I—” Yūichirō paused. “Where did you hide my pills, by the way? I looked everywhere....”

 

       Mikaela started going up the stairs. “In my car.”

 

       Goddamn it, he thought, watching as Mikaela searched the bathroom. Finding nothing, of course. He then went back down the stairs, Yūichirō now trailing behind him. “You’re not gonna find ‘em, Mika.”

 

       Mikaela, upon entering the living room, immediately walked towards the couch. Yūichirō dashed to him just as he pulled it out. He snatched it from Mikaela’s hands and ran to the kitchen.

 

       “Yū! Fuck.”

 

       Yūichirō nearly tripped from the carpet to tile flooring, but he made it to the sink in time. As Mikaela entered, Yūichirō turned it on, though he didn’t soak them just yet.

 

       “Okay,” Yūichirō said, holding up his free hand as Mikaela slowly walked towards him. “This can go two ways. One, I could wet every single last cigarette if you keep getting close.”

 

       Mikaela stopped in his tracks.

 

       “Or two, you turn away and stay in a corner while I hide these again. You have to go an entire day without smoking, then I’ll give you these back, nice and dry.”

 

       “,” Mikaela practically hissed. “Give them to me now.”

 

       “No. Make me.”

 

       They stayed still for a few good moments. Then, Mikaela made his move. But Yūichirō was sort of prepared for it. There was a lot of distance that needed to be covered, after all. He quickly moved the pack for the water to soak inside completely. Near the same time, Mikaela pushed him to the side.

 

       “It’s too late, Mika,” Yūichirō said, faking a sad voice. “It’s over.”

 

       Mikaela was silent as he shut off the faucet. Yūichirō peered at the sink to see that most of the sticks had spilled out, definitely unusable now. Yūichirō smirked in victory, though not after Mikaela took his hand harshly and dragged him out of the kitchen.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō started, trying to pull away as they went up the stairs once again. “Where are we going? What are you taking me upstairs for?”

 

       “You’re going to change,” he told him, sounding pissed.

 

       “You’re not seriously mad at me because of some lousy pack of cigarettes, are you?”

 

       Once they were at Yūichirō’s door, Mikaela opened it and shoved him inside. “What do you think?” The blond then walked over to the dresser and began to pull out some clothes.

 

       “I think you have a problem for no good reason.” Yūichirō moved to sit on his bed. “I’m doing you a favor. Weren’t you the one who said you were willing to try anything?”

 

       Mikaela shut a drawer loudly. “Yes, as long as that meant I still had a pack to use as a figurative parachute.”

 

       Yūichirō shrugged after sitting down. “Your fault that you weren’t clear enough about it.”

 

       “Here,” he said, nearly speaking over him. Mikaela tossed Yūichirō a t-shirt and one of his own white hoodies. He stared at the white fabric in disgust, about to question why Mikaela didn’t just give him one of his own sleeved shirts, but Mikaela tossed a pair of jeans in his face. As Yūichirō tugged it off, he noticed that Mikaela had shoved down both his boxers and pants.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō started carefully and slowly. “How is your dick so big?”

 

       Mikaela sighed.

 

       “It’s a genuine question! Forget about your cigarettes for a moment.”

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela then began, giving him a look. “You need to understand something. You see, when it’s this big, it's not just a dick. This—” he paused for emphasis as he picked up his own length— “is a cock.”

 

       Yūichirō immediately rolled his eyes. “Right. My bad. I meant, how is your cock so big?”

 

       The blond looked down as he bounced his dick in his hand, making a sound that Yūichirō want to cover his ears to. “Genes, I guess.” He then let it go and started taking off his shirt. “Why do you want to know? Do you want a massive cock like mine?”

 

       “Pfft. I already have one,” Yūichirō told him as he also lifted up his shirt.

 

       Mikaela shrugged. “Okay.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed as he stood up, rolling down his sweatpants without a care in the world. Then he began to pull his jeans up to his hips, struggling only a little.

 

       “Tch,” came out of Mikaela’s mouth. Yūichirō glanced at him to see that he had just been looking in his direction.

 

       “What?” Yūichirō asked.

 

       Mikaela only finished adjusting his own pants and walked to Yūichirō’s bed. Yūichirō watched as he picked up his hood and started preparing it as if to put over the raven-haired’s head.

 

       Yūichirō moved away, still trying to button his jeans. “I can do it myself. Why do I need to wear that garbage, anyway?”

 

       The blond ignored him and started shoving the hood over his head. Yūichirō let him. Then he felt Mikaela’s hands squeeze his and pull them away. His fingers probably hooked inside his jeans as he then pulled it up, lifting Yūichirō slightly.

 

       “I know you were doing that on purpose,” Mikaela said as he buttoned it up for him.

 

       Yūichirō shoved the hoodie past his eyes so he could see. Mikaela, at the same time, started to fix it on for him. “What are you talking about?” Yūichirō asked suspiciously. “What was I doing on purpose?”

 

       Mikaela glared at him for a second as he fit Yūichirō’s arms through. “Just stop talking. I’m still mad at you for drowning my cigarettes.”

 

       “And I’m still mad at you for stealing my medicine and literally everything else.”

 

       “Saving your life, too?”

 

       Yūichirō thought for a moment as Mikaela lifted up the hood over his head. “Yeah. No thanks for that. I kinda wanted to die, you know.”

 

       Mikaela looked at him but didn’t respond. Soon, they were leaving the room, Mikaela dragging him by the arm.

 

       “I bet you still feel guilty,” Yūichirō started saying as they went down the steps. “I mean, you’ve done so many bad things to me.”

 

       “I’ve done good things, too....”

 

       “Ha!” Yūichirō pulled his arm away once they made it down. “That is so funny, Mika! Yeah, hey, thanks for the dildo that got me in trouble, by the way. And while we’re at it—”

 

       “Shut up,” Mikaela said, interrupting him. The blond picked up his keys that were hanging by the door as Yūichirō started putting on his shoes.

 

       “I haven’t even gotten to use it yet,” he said longingly, wondering where Mikaela hid it. His car, probably. “Oh, but… those nipple clamps....”

 

       Mikaela gave him a look of disgust as he put on his own shoes.

 

       “Anyway, where was I? Right. I could list off all the bad things you did to me. Spitting on my face is another one. That was really gross, you—”

 

       “Oh, please,” Mikaela said, already standing back up and about to open the door. “You loved that. You probably dream of drowning in my—”

 

       The door slammed shut a second after Mikaela’s sentence stopped. Yūichirō looked up in confusion. “What—”

 

       “Akane,” he muttered as he began to lock the door. “That bitch.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked in surprise.

 

       “U-uhm,” Akane said, muffled through the door while she spoke. “Can I talk to you for a second, Mika—”

 

       “No!”

 

       “Whoa, hey,” Yūichirō said, gently grabbing Mikaela’s arm as he tried to stand. Mikaela turned around a bit to help him up, but he continued to glare at the door. “What’s your problem with her all of a sudden? Did she give you an STD?”

 

       Mikaela smiled, though he quickly cleared it. “No, idiot.” He released Yūichirō’s arms and turned back around. “She's an actual devil. Besides, do you know how much it hurt having to deal with my throbbing cock? Her pussy was so tight that it made it hard for me to come. Damn whore....”

 

       “Mika, if she was a whore, then she wouldn’t be tight. Also, gross, I didn’t need to know any of that.” Yūichirō then put his hands on his hips, feeling investigative. “You really care about your dick, huh?” Mikaela looked ready to talk, but Yūichirō went on, “And you’ve been talking about fucking me in the ass since yesterday. Wouldn’t I be tighter than her?”

 

       “I’m joking when I say that,” Mikaela said, his eyes never leaving the door. “Anyway, she’s noisy and mean to you. Not to mention she’s ugly.”

 

       “She’s not ugly,” Yūichirō said. “I thought Akane was quiet. And how did you know she was mean to me?”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “She kept saying things. So I stuffed her mouth with a sock lying around. Anyway,” he added, grabbing Yūichirō’s hand. “Do you have a back exit or something?”

 

       Yūichirō pulled away. “How are we going to get to the car, idiot? Let’s just see what she wants.” He reached for the door, about to unlock and open it.

 

       “No! I don’t want to see her.”

 

       “Mika, you’re such a baby. Yūichirō unclicked the locks. “Did you give her an STD? That would make sense because your dick has been everywhere.”

 

       “No one has an STD. And I told you,” Mikaela continued as Yūichirō opened the door. “It’s not a dick, it’s a cock.”

 

       Akane looked surprised at what Mikaela was saying. Her brown eyes darted from the blond and Yūichirō until she glanced away. “Can I....”

 

       “Yeah,” Yūichirō said, opening the door wider. At the same time, he noticed Mikaela was trying to sneak away. But he caught his arm in time and smiled at Akane. “You want to talk, right? So let’s talk.”

Chapter Text

Yūichirō carried out two cups of tea he had prepared for Akane and Mikaela. Once he arrived at the coffee table between them, he bent down to set them there.

 

       “Tch,” came from behind him. He glanced back to see Mikaela on the single-seater couch, arms crossed and one leg over the other. He looked bothered.

 

       Before Yūichirō could question what his problem was, he looked forward to see Akane speaking.

 

       “Um, so…” she started, sounding nervous. “About… what happened.”

 

       Yūichirō moved away as she spoke to sit on the other couch near Mikaela. Both of them avoided the one Akane was at.

 

       “That’s not my fault,” Mikaela was replying. “You asked, so I gave it to you.”

 

       “It wasn’t even good!” Akane exclaimed, then looked regretful as she quickly put a hand over her mouth. Yūichirō did, too, but it was because he was trying not to laugh.

 

       All these girls he fucks and he can’t even do it to them right.

 

       “What are you saying?” Mikaela asked, uncrossing his arms and leaning forwards. “My cock and movements are amazing. You just couldn’t handle it.”

 

       “Pffffvvt—” Yūichirō had to put another hand over his mouth. He noticed that Mikaela glanced at him, but Akane was talking again. 

 

       “Now my parents know,” she whispered, looking down. “And I would have been here sooner if it weren’t for them.... But I—I love you so much....” Then came the tears. Oh, god, the tears.

 

       This is too much. My cheeks fucking hurt.

 

       “So I…” she went on, standing up. “I haven’t told them with who yet. I don’t want to ruin your career. They’re strict, so I know they’ll tell.... And they won’t unless you… unless you don’t accept my love!”

 

       The room went quiet.

 

       Ooh, shit, Yūichirō thought, hand still over his mouth as he glanced between the two of them. Then he noticed no one was drinking his tea!

 

       Brows furrowing, Yūichirō released his mouth and opened it, ready to complain. Until Mikaela got up.

 

       “Go ahead and tell. So many girls claimed to have done things with me, no one will believe you. Just leave.”

 

       Yūichirō felt a little surprised. Mikaela sounded like he was being nice! Or, rather, he was being rude yet made it sound… nice! Anyway, using that logic, why was Mikaela worried he’d tell everyone he did bad things, again? Surely people have said nasty things before. Wasn't that expected being a popular music artist?

 

       “B-but… I love you, Mika. I love all of your songs and you as a person! I mean, you’re a little different from how I thought you would be, but… it’s okay! I’ll love you no matter what. So, please… love me back.”

 

       “I don’t even know you,” Mikaela replied. “You fans are all the same....”

 

       “No! I’m different—I’m better! Mika, we could get to know more about each other! So… so…!”

 

       “Didn’t I tell you to leave?”

 

       Akane sounded desperate. “I’m sure you’ll start to like me eventually.... I’ve already thought it out and everything! We’re meant for each other! We had s-sex too, so—”

 

       Mikaela moved to pull Yūichirō up from the couch while she spoke. Their lips then connected when he moved in and he dragged him back so that they were kissing in front of her.

 

       Yūichirō’s first instinct was to move away, but Mikaela put a hand to the base of his head and kept him in place as he moved his lips against his.

 

       So, Yūichirō wasn’t the best kisser there was. It’s not like it was his first or second, but he still didn’t know exactly what to do as Mikaela opened his mouth. Should he open his own, too? Or was Mikaela inviting his tongue inside of him? He read about that action somewhere.

 

       Wait. Nope. Didn’t sound like something the blond would do.

 

       Yūichirō kept his mouth shut. Then he felt Mikaela’s hand squeeze his dick.

 

       “Ah! Mm—mmh....

 

       Oops.

 

       Yūichirō opened his eyes awkwardly. Mikaela’s were closed as he kept gnawing at Yūichirō’s lips with his own. Yūichirō tried to look to the side to see if Akane was still there. But she must have just taken off because as Mikaela’s hand moved to his cheek to put him straight, the front door slammed shut.

 

       Immediately, before Yūichirō could, Mikaela pulled away. Though, Yūichirō spoke first.

 

       “What were you thinking?” Yūichirō asked loudly, wiping his lips to clear the saliva that came from Mikaela’s surprisingly-good-tasting mouth. “What if she calls the cops? And they get a search warrant? Or something.... Oh, god. Shinya’s going to—no, Guren’s going to—”

 

       Mikaela, who had also got done wiping his lips, moved to pick up his keys from the coffee table. “Relax. I doubt anything will happen, but if it does, I’ll be prepared. Wouldn’t be the first time. Damn it,” he added, wiping his mouth again. “You kiss like a dog.”

 

       “Wh—wh—” Yūichirō then scoffed. “When you opened your mouth, all your gross saliva spilled out!”

 

       “Tch. You act like your spit didn’t attack me, too. God, it’s not my fault your lips are so plump and you taste good and your ass is so big.”

 

       “Wh—!” Yūichirō glanced behind him. “Where’d that last one come fr—never mind that! You’re totally gay now, aren’t you? Wait, never mind to the never mind so I can ‘never mind’ again—there are more important matters!” He reached forward to pick up the tea cups. “No one drank my tea!”

 

       “Fuck your tea,” Mikaela said, smacking the cups out of his hands. They spilled to the carpet and Yūichirō’s mouth dropped. “And stop blushing,” he added while pushing Yūichirō’s mouth closed. “The kiss wasn’t even that good. Also, not gay, you are.”

 

       “I—”

 

       “And I need my cigarettes, so let’s go already.”

 

       Yūichirō pouted. “No more smoking!” he said as Mikaela pulled him along. “Why are you going to ruin your breath? I’ll let you kiss me more, you gay idiot.”

 

       “Why do you say that like I want to kiss you, you mutt? You’re disgusting.”

 

       He blinked. “You don’t?”

 

       “Stop messing around,” Mikaela told him as they stepped out. “I need you to look serious so that you don’t look twelve.”

 

       “I do not look twelve. I look my age. You, on the other hand, are twenty-one and look my age.”

 

       They entered the car. “My cock doesn’t.”

 

       “You and your damn cock,” Yūichirō said, nearly slamming the door shut. “It’s all you talk about.”

 

       “And you and your fat ass,” Mikaela retorted as the car turned on. “You keep exaggerating it in front of me. It’s pissing me off. I’m not gay, Yū, so I don’t want to tap that.”

 

       “Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t even let you.”

 

       “Whatever,” Mikaela said as he put the car in drive after pulling out of the driveway. “Put on those sunglasses. You’re about to get me a pack of cigarettes.”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms. He already figured that was what Mikaela had planned, but he didn’t bother to think about it with everything going on. “No, I’m not. You got it last time yourself.”

 

       “And do you know how long and frustrating that was?”

 

       “Too bad, Mika!” Yūichirō looked the other way, feeling grumpy again. “It’s your fault you’re a smoker. Why don’t you just come clean that you have smoking issues?”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “Right after you tell your friends you take medicine for your bipolar disorder.”

 

       “At least I’m not a pill-stealer,” Yūichirō retorted, watching the trees as they drove past them.

 

       “At least my ass doesn’t hinder my ability to do things.”

 

       “Well,” Yūichirō started as he moved to look at the blond. “My dick isn’t so big it’s popping out of my pants!”

 

       Mikaela glanced down. “You should be proud that it does so everyone sees and wants to suck it for free.”

 

       “Ha!” Yūichirō looked away. “People only do that because you’re famous, I bet. They just want popularity.”

 

       “No, idiot. They want my cock.”

 

       “No one wants your stupid cock, Mika.”

 

       “You do.”

 

       “Yeah, right. If only you weren’t so conceited and ugly and annoying and smelly.”

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “You think I’m ugly, but not Akane? That’s funny. You know what else is—”

 

       “Funny?” Yūichirō continued for him, “How much you say you’re not gay, yet you say the gayest things.”

 

       “I’ve fucked girls. Never have I once done it with a boy, nor do I plan to.”

 

       “That’s not what you were implying last night.”

 

       Mikaela smiled. Yūichirō forced his own smile down so that he didn’t look as dumb as him. Get roasted, idiot.

 

       “I’m so done with you, Yū-chan, you suicidal freak.”

 

       “Me too, you two-faced fuck.”

 

       “Masochist.”

 

       “Fuckboy!”

 

       “Whore.”

 

       “...L—life-saver!”

 

       Mikaela finally gave in and laughed. “You’re so stupid, Yū-chan.” The blond leaned over with a hand to mess up his hair as he drove.

 

       “Hey!” Yūichirō said, pulling Mikaela’s hand away. “Hands on the wheel, stupid! And stop touching me and calling me that!”

 

       The blond sighed. “You like it when I touch you.”

 

       “Ew.” Yūichirō rubbed his cheeks that had heated up for some reason. “No, I don’t. I hate you.”

 

       It got quiet. The sound of the AC blowing cool air felt nice and refreshing, and the engine only made a quiet humming sound. It was almost peaceful. But he couldn’t ever feel at peace with the blond at his side.

 

       And now that Yūichirō thought about it, they never separated from each other for the past week.

 

       To think I would’ve never imagined it to be this way.

 

       Yūichirō decided to break the silence. “You’re stupid, Mika.”

 

       “What?” Mikaela asked, sounding confused. “Did I offend you by breathing this time?”

 

       “You always do,” he replied, watching as they pulled into a gas station. He wondered for only a moment as to why they were there. Then, he slumped in the seat when it hit him. “Noooo,” he groaned, pinching his nose. “I am one-hundred percent gonna get caught.”

 

       After Mikaela parked, he said, “Not if you’re convincing enough. If they ask for ID, just say you didn’t bring it with you because your friend—or boyfriend—drove you h—”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō locked his door when Mikaela unlocked it. “No. No, it’s not happening, Mika.”

 

       “Please? For me, Yū-chan? If you do this and get away with it, I’ll leave you alone for an entire day.”

 

       Yūichirō perked up. “If I do this, period, you’ll leave me alone for an entire day.”

 

       “Nope. Why should you be awarded for failure?”

 

       He muttered to himself a few curses as he got out of the car, Mikaela chuckling at him.

 

       After a moment, the engine shut off, and Mikaela was following him inside the store.

 

       Holy fuck, he thought, glancing around. I’m gonna go to jail after this. I know it.

 

       There was about one or two people wandering around and one person at the cashier. Yūichirō hesitated before taking another step. Mikaela, who was right behind him, offered the sunglasses for him to take and put on, to which he did in the next second.

 

       Even if he was caught, there would be no way for the security cameras to figure out who he was, right?

 

       Yūichirō took another step forward, then felt Mikaela’s hands at his hips as the blond leaned against him. “Yū,” he whispered into his ear. “Don’t be nervous because they’ll see that. If anything goes wrong, I’m right here for you.”

 

       “W-which one?” Yūichirō mumbled back, glancing at the counter. “Which one do you get?”

 

       “You remember, right?” Mikaela leaned away. “Can’t talk. Looks.”

 

       “Wh—” he started, lost. But Mikaela had already started to roam around the store. Yūichirō took a deep breath to calm his nerves, then walked over to the cashier as confidently as possible.

 

       Yūichirō cleared his throat. “Cigarettes,” he tried to say with a gruff voice. “That one.” Yūichirō pointed at one of the packs in the shelf behind them. “Next to the green one.”

 

       The cashier only inspected him curiously after a glance. “ID?”

 

       “I—uh, er....” Yūichirō itched his cheek. “No speak Engrish.”

 

       “But you just—”

 

       “English, no! No have. No do!”

 

       He heard snickering. He didn’t even have to look to know it was Mikaela.

 

       “Uh, what… what language do you speak? Does anyone—”

 

       “Cigarette. Want, give, need.” Yūichirō was about to pull out some money, but he realized he didn’t have any. Oh, shit. Mika you fucking dork.

 

       “Uh—glasses,” they said, making a motion as if taking off his own. “Glasses. Off… take. Take off so I can see… face.”

 

       Before Yūichirō could reply, he felt the person behind him feel up the side of his ass. At first, he was going to spin around and slap them, but then he heard Mikaela shushing him. Oh, right. That idiot’s behind me. Why’s he—

 

       When he felt Mikaela’s fingers slip into the pocket of his jeans, he could make out the thickness of what was probably a few dollars. Then, he smacked his ass lightly. Then again, though way harder.

 

       Yūichirō bit his lip and hummed as he was just about to groan at the pain. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “Cig-ret. Now.”

 

       “Hey,” Mikaela said, moving in from behind him. “I think he’s getting a little agitated, and this is holding up the line. Just give him what he wants.”

 

       “But—”

 

       Yūichirō slammed his fist on the counter, his eyes open and the world filtered through the sunglasses’ lens. “Three secon’.”

 

       “Okay, okay,” the cashier said and turned around to pick up what Yūichirō had pointed at earlier. The raven-haired held in his sigh of relief and started to pull out the cash.

 

       “That’ll be—” they started, but Yūichirō only set down the two twenties Mikaela had given him and snatched the cigarette.

 

       “Greeting,” Yūichirō said, then walked away. As he exited the store and went to the car, he heard the door open up behind him with a ring, and the car’s headlights lit up for a moment.

 

       “Why did you give him everything?” Mikaela asked, sounding irritated. “Are you stupid?”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed and opened the car door. “Like you need it, anyway. Poor guy is working at a damn gas station and you made him look like an idiot.”

 

       “Technically, you did,” Mikaela said as they both entered. “God, you’re so stupid. Just give me my damn cigarettes.”

 

       Yūichirō leaned away, holding the cigarettes as far as possible from Mikaela as the blond tried to take it from him. “Only if you tell me you’ll own up to the deal. If not,” he paused, rolling down the window. “These go bye-bye.”

 

       “Of course I will,” Mikaela said kindly, though not in his I’m-a-celebrity voice. “It’s not like I want to be around you anymore either. This deal favored me more than you.”

 

       “Whatever.” Yūichirō tossed him the pack and started putting on his seatbelt. Then, he buckled up and took off the glasses and hood over his head.

 

       “So,” Mikaela began as he opened the pack. “When does this go into effect? Now, or tomorrow morning?”

 

       “Now.”

 

       “Are you sure? I think it’ll be better to start tomorrow.”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms. “I don’t care what you think. Take me home.”

 

       “No,” Mikaela said, cigarette at his lips while he backed out of the parking spot. “You need to get your hair done.”

 

       “I need to what? ” Yūichirō sat up in his chair. “Excuse me? What and why?”

 

       “I want you to do your hair, Yū.”

 

       Yūichirō pat his head a few times, wondering what was wrong with it. He washed it like… three days ago! Or two? Four.... Something like that. “Well, I don’t wanna!”

 

       “And you think you have a choice?”

 

       “I got you your damn cigarettes!” Yūichirō reached over and pulled out the one Mikaela had moved from his lips to his hand as he drove. “You should start thinking about what I want.”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “Tomorrow morning we won’t see each other. So, let me take you to do your hair now. A wash and a trim, at least. Good job with that, by the way.”

 

       “Shut up. I’m never doing this again. And I don’t wanna!”

 

       “Why not?”

 

       “Because! Shinya always did my hair. I don’t like going out to do it alone.

 

       Mikaela glanced at him. “I’ll be with you.”

 

       “Of course you will.” Yūichirō turned to the side, bringing up the cigarette to his eyes. “I’m not going.”

 

       “What if I did it, then?” Mikaela offered while Yūichirō messed with the stick in his hands.

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes. “Even worse.”

 

       “Alright. It’s settled. I’m doing your hair.”

 

       “No!” He threw the cigarette down on the car floor and recrossed his arms. “I won’t let you.”

 

       The car slowed to a stop. He looked up to see that they had parked somewhere secluded. His eyes widened in fake panic as Mikaela unbuckled his seatbelt.

 

       “U-uh, Mika, okay… I’ll do it. Don’t murder me out here....”

 

       “Something I’m sure you would like,” Mikaela said, exiting the car. He closed his door and walked over to Yūichirō’s side to tap the window. He rolled it down again in response. “Give me that.”

 

       Yūichirō leaned down to pick up the cigarette he had messed with, then gave it to the blond after a second. Mikaela snatched it and walked towards the hood.

 

       Man, he thought, watching the window roll up. How am I gonna get him to quit? I was so close.... Yūichirō brought up a hand to his lips. That kiss was almost so good because he tasted nice. Now he’ll never taste good anymore. Not that I’ll know, I guess. I mean, it doesn’t matter. The issue here is that smell! He’s covered in it after he smokes and it’s so annoying.

 

       Yūichirō looked up to watch the blond smoke, his back facing him. There has to be something I can do.

 

       He thought for a good moment, but came up with nothing. Soon, Mikaela was entering the car again, and they continued to bicker back and forth occasionally until they made it back to the house. When they did, Yūichirō had run up the stairs and locked his door. He was alone again! And the first thing he did was change out of his clothes.

 

       Then came the argument. Yūichirō didn’t want Mikaela to do his hair! He was sure the blond would mess it up or something. Whatever he had planned, it was sure to be awful. There was no way he’d let Mikaela anywhere near him now that he was in the safety of his own room.

 

       Which was why he was so confused when he was sitting on a chair with a towel over his shoulders, Mikaela standing behind him with a brush and scissors.

 

       “Why,” Yūichirō said aloud to himself, disappointed. “Why did I agree to this.”

 

       “The gift of money is very tempting,” Mikaela pointed out sophisticatedly. “Now lean back, idiot.”

 

       Yūichirō reluctantly went back in the chair from the dining room. They were in the downstairs bathroom, and Yūichirō could clearly see Mikaela in the mirror’s reflection.

 

       The blond set both the brush and scissors down on the counter in front of them. Then, he started to feel up Yūichirō’s wet hair, getting some of the tangles stuck between his fingers in the process. “Hmm,” he hummed behind him, continuing to mess with it.

 

       “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Yūichirō asked, uncomfortably adjusting himself in the chair.

 

       “Yes, of course,” Mikaela said, sounding confused and not reassuring at all. “Don’t worry about it, Yū. You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Have you seen my hair?”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms, moving the towel around. “Yeah, and look how awful it is.”

 

       Mikaela only smiled. He didn’t even bother to argue back with that. Maybe Yūichirō was right and the blond knew it! This would prove to be an utter disaster.

 

       Then, Mikaela started to laugh.

 

       “Wh....” Yūichirō looked behind him, Mikaela’s hands leaving his hair as he moved. “Why are you laughing, stupid?”

 

       Mikaela held his mouth with a hand, clearly trying to hold it in.

 

       “Hey! What’s so funny?”

 

       He shook his head. “It—it’s just,” Mikaela started, “You’re so… you’re so… oh, God, you....”

 

       Yūichirō squinted at him in confusion. Was it something he did? Or was he laughing at his hair?

 

       Mikaela shook his head, releasing his mouth and turning Yūichirō’s head so that he was facing forward again. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

 

       “What....”

 

       He burst out laughing again.

 

       “Mika!” Yūichirō smiled himself, though he didn’t know what was funny. “Stop being weird! You’re being… weird....”

 

       “I—” Mikaela wiped the tears that probably formed from his eyes “I don’t know, it’s just.... Everything is so stupid.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked. “What do you mean?”

 

       Mikaela seemed to regain a bit of his composure. “You, me, this entire situation, and our arguments. How are things like this, Yū? How did we get from a suicide attempt and me treating you like garbage to this?”

 

       “I don’t know,” he mumbled, looking down. “But you’re... a little different from when I first met you? Less angry, I guess.”

 

       “Yeah. You’re different, too. Less of an annoying bitch.”

 

       “Hey—”

 

       “But I guess we were just warming up to each other, huh?”

 

       Yūichirō paused. “That’s true.... I definitely feel like I can insult you however I want and know that you won’t tackle me and spit on my face.”

 

       “But it’s not like it matters,” Mikaela said with a shrug, picking up a clip and beginning to part Yūichirō’s hair. “I’m going to be leaving in a couple weeks, anyway.”

 

       For some reason, his heart dropped. Yūichirō ignored it and fell silent, letting Mikaela gently brush his hair. It was quiet and soothing with the occasional pleasurable hard tug. He knew the blond was doing it on purpose, but he let it be. It was nice, anyway.

 

       Yūichirō found his eyes closing as Mikaela continued to brush. He thought about their ridiculous conversations to wondering how his friends were doing. He sort of wished they could meet each other and all of them could be friends! If only Mikaela wasn’t a celebrity, it could be that way.... Yūichirō would have loved to introduce him to his friends.

 

       Though, at the same time, the fact that Mikaela was a celebrity Yūichirō liked made it feel all the more special. It was like he was proving them wrong somehow! And the fact that Mikaela was closer to him than Akane or anyone else… Yūichirō liked that. Who else did Mikaela joke about fucking in the ass or let talk him down?

 

       Well, it’s not like I know him, though. Yūichirō blinked open his eyes to see Mikaela now combing through his hair, looking focused. There’s still a lot more we need to know about each other. It’s only been a week.

 

       Still. What happened with Akane earlier stuck in his mind. He wondered how she was feeling to know that he and Mikaela were friends. That was probably tearing her apart. She always felt like she had a competition with him, and to see them making out just like that.... Even worse, to be rejected so strongly in front of Yūichirō—to see a clear choice made between her or him....

 

       And he was picked. If that happened to him, and if he was in Akane’s shoes… he didn’t know what he’d do.

 

       Mika wanted me, he thought, closing his eyes again. He likes me, and he likes my ass.

 

       I hate him, he thought jokingly with a smile.

 

       “Why are you smiling?” Mikaela asked, the comb hooked in Yūichirō’s hair, moving his head side to side.

 

       “Because of you,” Yūichirō said, smiling even more. “I hate you, Mika.”

 

       “Yeah?” Mikaela combed out the tangle harshly. “You wanna keep saying that when I have the power to bring you pain right now?”

 

       “Go ahead,” Yūichirō said, opening his eyes. “You know that’s what I like the most.”

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “So, you’re not afraid I’ll bring you the most pleasurable of pains and you’ll fall in love with me? I’m the only one who could, after all.”

 

       “Okay, sure! Right. Whatever you say, Mikaela Shindō.”

 

       “It’s ‘Mikaela-sama the great.’ Get it right.”

 

       “Sorry. Should I kneel before your presence, Mikaela-sama the great who has a massive cock?”

 

       “Yes, so you can suck on it and show your deep appreciation.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes before muttering, “I’ll show you deep appreciation, alright.”

 

       “Yeah?” Mikaela pulled Yūichirō’s head back. “Well, whenever you gather the courage to do so, you know where to find me.”

 

       “It’s not courage I need,” Yūichirō said, forcing his head away. “I’d say it’s more like… the will to do something so gross. And a blindfold.”

 

       “The blindfold might prove to be a problem,” Mikaela told him quietly as he picked up the scissors. “I want you to look at me, after all.”

 

       Yūichirō made sure to keep his head still. “Right. How dare I say such a thing, your highness Mikaela-sama... Shindō-sama the great who has a massive cock? Gee,” he then said, breaking character. “That’s a mouthful.”

 

       “What? My title or my cock?”

 

       Another eye roll. “Just shut up and focus before you cut all my hair off.”

Chapter Text

The day of ignorance soon arrived.

 

       When Yūichirō had woken up, Mikaela was nowhere to be found. Neither were his parents.

 

       He woke up late because the blond didn’t wake him up as early as usual. So, in consequence, he couldn’t see his parents or have breakfast ready for him.

 

       He quickly took his medicine and prepared a bowl of cereal. He ate quietly, lost in the thoughts of how they needed more and its taste. When he finished, he lazily left the bowl in the sink and went to the living room to watch TV.

 

       The morning shows had nothing interesting.

 

       Yūichirō groaned and lay on his back on the carpet floor.

 

       Maybe I could call my friends over, he thought, trying to find the will to get up. Yeah! Then we could go out or something.

 

       Now motivated, Yūichirō brought himself to his feet and looked for the house phone. He really should talk to Guren about getting a phone of his own again, but for now, it would do.

 

       Yūichirō walked to where it usually charged. It wasn’t there, which was odd. No one ever used it because it hardly worked sometimes, and they had their own phones. So, who would have moved it and not put it back?

 

       Guren, probably. Or Mikaela.

 

       He closed his eyes, leaning against the kitchen counter. Mika. Mika would, and he’d take it with him so I can’t call anyone. Fucking Mika.

 

       He was about to slump to his knees, but then he remembered he had nipple clamps! And now that he was alone, he could search the house and see if Mikaela hid the dildo somewhere other than his car! He’d be alone and he could be as loud as he wanted....

 

       Oh, yes, I wanna masturbate. I want that dildo so deep up my ass....

 

       Yūichirō exited the kitchen slowly, trying to think. Okay, so if I was Mika, where would I put it? He’s not really trying to hide it from me. Only my parents.

 

       But he wouldn’t tell me where just to fuck with me like the dick he is.

 

       He headed up the stairs slowly. So it would have to be somewhere my parents would never look.

 

       He had a guess as he made it up. Yūichirō looked down the hall to his right, seeing the closet door that was in the wall next to his room’s entrance. Ever since his friends had come over, Mikaela kept his stuff inside the closet except the clothes in the dresser. Yūichirō found out one day when Mikaela dragged him over so that he could get his laptop.

 

       Yūichirō entered the closet, trying not to make a sound for some reason. He was alone, after all. His green eyes immediately looked to the red luggages on the floor, and he gulped.

 

       There was a possibility, that if he found the dildo, he’d be fucked by it. Yūichirō could be minutes away from having it far up his ass and knowing great pleasure. Finally… finally, it would be the day.

 

       Heat rising to his face, Yūichirō walked towards them and kneeled down. He unzipped one and began to look through Mikaela’s neatly organized luggage. He only bothered with the pockets since it didn’t seem to go too deep, being the small one. His laptop and papers and money were there, and Yūichirō definitely didn’t want to touch that. Mikaela already gave him a hundred after he bribed Yūichirō to get his hair done unprofessionally.

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t help but smile as he put a hand to his hair. Even though Mikaela probably didn’t know how to trim correctly, it wasn’t a complete disaster. He was relieved.

 

       Since that luggage had nothing, Yūichirō went to the next bigger one. There were a bunch of random things organized, but he knew there was some depth there. So, he stuck his hand inside, feeling around for his dildo.

 

       Which he didn’t find. But he did come across the lube Mikaela got for himself, and the strawberry-flavored lube he got to practice giving a blowjob.

 

       Yūichirō left Mikaela’s there and took his own lube. If he found that, then he must be getting pretty close. His heart pounded in his chest at the anticipation.

 

       He looked through the luggage’s pockets on the inside first. And when he did… there he saw it. In all its glory, tucked in behind some clothes to hide the outline....

 

       Yūichirō’s dildo.

 

       He quickly took it out, zipped it shut, then left the closet. Once he made it to his room, he locked the door behind him and let out a very hot breath.

 

       Is this it? Is this my moment?

 

       Yūichirō stared at the box of lube and the light-blue dildo in his hands. He didn’t want to wait any longer. If Mikaela came back, then he was ruined. He had to do it now or never again.

 

       He sucked in a deep breath before moving to his bed, nipple clamps completely forgotten. He brought down his pants and boxers hesitantly, then took off his shirt for the hell of it. Then, getting himself all in the covers, Yūichirō opened the box of lube and eventually the bottle, dripping it on the dildo and beginning to coat it evenly.

 

       His mind was blank. All he could think about were his actions.

 

       Since he didn’t want to just shove it all in in one go, Yūichirō coated his fingers, too, and brought it to his ass. The position was a little uncomfortable—he’d rather have someone do it for him instead. All he’d have to worry about is feeling the pleasure without the work. But Yūichirō tried to manage.

 

       After a lot of hesitation, Yūichirō searched for his hole before slowly pushing a finger against it.

 

       This is so weird, he thought, not feeling any open space. He ignored his thoughts and stuck his single finger in further, wondering exactly how it worked.

 

       His hole was way too small. How could he ever imagine a huge dick inside of it? Like Mikaela’s, for example—

 

       Yūichirō shuddered. Not something he wanted to think about.

 

       He pulled out his finger quickly, and his entire body tensed at the sudden movement. Oh, god, what....

 

       After a moment of staring at nothing, Yūichirō moved down to his back to get comfortable. He brought the dildo down to his asshole, then brought his legs up so that his hand could move back and forth easily. He put his feet to the headboard in case he got tired of holding them up, then without another thought, he shoved the dildo up his ass.

 

       “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, pushing his head back. It hurt so much. “Oh, fuck.

 

       Yūichirō already began to pull out the small section of it he had put in.

 

       He bet other people had to wait for the pain to go away, huh? Hah. Being masochistic wasn’t the worst thing in the world, after all.

 

       “Mmm,” he moaned, shutting his eyes closed. It feels so good, he thought, though he went slower despite his body wanting it faster. He wanted to pump it so quickly that he wouldn’t have time to process what was happening, but at the same time, he wanted the pain and pleasure of teasing himself.

 

       His mouth hung open as he slowly and lazily brought it in and out between his legs. This is… oh, way too fucking good. He opened his eyes only a little, blurring the ceiling above him. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh—

 

       He pressed the dildo in further. His eyes widened at the pain, and he almost stopped completely. Then he felt something a little wet against his stomach.

 

       Oh. I have a dick.

 

       Yūichirō’s other hand went to his hard dick tipped with precum that would occasionally bounce against him as he moved. He stroked just as slow as his other hand that gripped the dildo tightly.

 

       He dragged it out agonizingly slow. His eyes nearly rolled back at the pleasure he was feeling. I feel so dirty… I want someone to punish me for the way I’m acting.

 

       “Punish… me,” he moaned, moving the dildo in and out faster. “Punish me, Mika....”

 

       Wait. Why did I— Yūichirō stopped his train of thought, another moan escaping his lips as he imagined Mikaela on top of him, fucking him until he screamed. “Ohh, Mika, yes.... Mika! Fuck me, Mika!”

 

       He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his cheeks light up in embarrassment. He kept moving his hands, though.

 

       “Mika,” he whispered, remembering how the blond grinded on top of him and made him feel like he was just a dirty whore. He remembered the feeling of Mikaela’s wet saliva on his cheek. His mouth widened. “Mika, Mika, Mika.

 

       Now he picked up the pace, and his other hand was unable to keep up with stroking his dick at the same time. He stopped saying things and instead thought them in his head, unable to utter words through his moans. And when the head of the dildo touched that spot, Yūichirō saw stars.

 

       I’ll bend down for you, he thought, immediately slowing his pace so that when he brought the dildo in, he brought it in deep and hard. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll suck your cock and force it down my throat. You can treat me however you want, Mika. Slap me, fuck me, spit on me, pull my hair.... Anything. I’ll let you do anything.

 

       “Ah! Ah—mmh, h—haa....

 

       Yūichirō’s dick spurted cum all over his stomach. He imagined Mikaela’s cum all over his face and the blond forcing him to lick it all off, then the thought quickly went away.

 

       Uh.

 

       He pulled out the dildo from his ass, wincing. Yūichirō sat up despite the pain, then looked down at his dick in disgust. Why the fuck did I… think and say all those things? He was about to rub his cheeks with a hand, then thought better of it.

 

       I think I’m really gonna be sick this time.

 

....

 

Yūichirō jumped when the fridge door slammed shut next to him as he had just opened it.

 

       “What are you doing?”

 

       The raven-haired shyly glanced at Mikaela before looking the other way in embarrassment, itching his cheek. “Uh… just, you know.... Looking for my pills for the morning! As per usual!”

 

       Mikaela clearly wasn’t about to believe that shitty lie.

 

       Their day of ignoring each other went by quickly. When his parents got home, Mikaela was already there, talking to someone on his phone downstairs while Yūichirō was trying to take a nap upstairs. He cleaned up his mess hours ago, and when he had managed to fall asleep despite his growing hatred for himself, he woke up shortly after and just lay in bed, wondering what to do with himself.

 

       Dinner time was, of course, awkward. But it went by, too, and they were quietly going to sleep for the night.

 

       He was glad that Mikaela didn’t even acknowledge his presence yesterday. He wasn’t sure he could take it after everything he had thought about. But now that the next day arrived, Mikaela was back to normal.

 

       “So you’re saying I didn’t see you take it just now?”

 

       Yūichirō continued to stare off in the other direction. “I was putting them back....”

 

       “Were you?” Mikaela took a step closer. “Or were you looking for some other type of pills?”

 

       “N—”

 

       Mikaela grabbed Yūichirō’s chin and moved it to face him. “Go ahead. Lie to my face, Yū.”

 

       “I… I, uh....” Yūichirō’s eyes tried to avoid looking into Mikaela’s. He couldn’t get anything out.

 

       “Were you looking for this?” Mikaela then asked, releasing his chin and holding up a bottle of painkillers with his other hand. “The new pills Shinya got after you tried killing yourself with the last fill.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened.

 

       “You’re so stupid, Yū,” Mikaela said. “I noticed the fact that not everything was put the way I left them.” He sighed. “I had to go an entire day without being able to confront you about this. So, tell me: is your ass in unbearable, irritating pain? Is it so much that not even your masochism can take it?”

 

       “G-give me,” Yūichirō mumbled, looking at the bottle. “Give them to me… Mika.”

 

       Mikaela moved away as Yūichirō reached over for them. “Hell no. You went through my things, so now I’m going through yours. You want these? Then you’ll have to earn them.”

 

       “How....” He’s not gonna ask me to… do something sexual for him, right?

 

       “Aw,” Mikaela said teasingly, holding the bottom side of Yūichirō’s face with a free hand, his thumb near his mouth. “You’re so ready to do anything, aren’t you? Just because I’d be ordering you around?” He forced his thumb past Yūichirō’s lips, and he opened his mouth for him subconsciously.

 

       “N-wo,” Yūichirō tried to say with Mikaela’s thumb in his mouth, not wanting to bite him. “I don’ wan-wa....”

 

       Mikaela smiled, then just as Shinya came through the kitchen, he lowered his hand. “Hey, dad!” Mikaela said in very angelesque voice while looking at his father. “Are you leaving for work with Guren, now?”

 

       Shinya sounded confused. “Yeah. Just came by to say we’re leaving.”

 

       “Okay!” he replied, pills still behind his back. Mikaela now stared Yūichirō in the eyes, and despite his tone, he had malicious intent written all over them. “Have a good day at work.”

 

       I’m so screwed. But if I get Shinya’s attention... maybe....

 

       Yūichirō turned around. “Sh—”

 

       Mikaela’s hand clamped over his mouth as Shinya had already left. They stayed still for a few moments until they heard the sound of the door closing.

 

       “So,” Mikaela then said, releasing Yūichirō’s mouth. “Are we gonna make another deal, or no?”

 

       “What do you... want....”

 

       He spun him around so that they could face each other again. “I want you to do whatever I tell you without question for the rest of today. In exchange... you get these pills.”

 

       His eyes widened. That sounded horrible! Until he took a step back and felt pain at his asshole. “Okay… okay. I’ll do it. Just give me the painkillers....”

 

       “Perfect.” Mikaela showed him the pills again, and Yūichirō snatched it from him so that he could take them and feel free. “Honestly, I already figured you’d agree. Not this fast, though. Well,” he added as Yūichirō grabbed a glass cup. “I guess that makes sense, too.”

 

       As he neared the fridge, Mikaela had already taken out the gallon of water, and he poured it in for him.

 

       “Not even a ‘thanks’?” Mikaela asked. Yūichirō only started drinking it down as the pills were already in his mouth. “I should totally tip that water over because of your insensitivity.”

 

       Yūichirō immediately backed up just in case. Then, swallowing, he said, “What are you going to have me do?”

 

       “You’re probably very curious about that, huh?” Mikaela crossed his arms. “But first I want to know something. How was it?”

 

       “How was… what?”

 

       He smiled, taking a step closer. “You know. Your little masturbation session with the dildo I bought you. How was it?”

 

       Yūichirō set the glass down calmly. If he was careful enough, he could make a run for it. The pills hadn’t kicked in yet, but maybe he could deal with it enough to at least get away. “Well,” he started. “You see—”

 

       He didn’t anticipate the horrible pain that spiked his hip as he bumped into the center counter in his attempts to escape. “Fuck!” Yūichirō nearly stumbled to the ground, clutching his side. “Oww....”

 

       “Huh.”

 

       “Don’t… say anything,” Yūichirō hissed through his pain, squeezing his eyes shut. I’m already embarrassed enough as it is.

 

       “Alright. I won’t. So, tell me! How’d it go? You don’t have a choice but to say it. You know I won’t hesitate to make you spit up those pills.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. “Why is it important for you to know? Wouldn’t that make you feel awkward?”

 

       “I’m curious. It’s not important. I just want to know if it was good or not.”

 

       Yūichirō slowly walked away, signifying to Mikaela that he was only moving and not trying to run away. The blond followed behind him. “It was fine,” he said simply. He didn’t want to go into detail.

 

       “Not good enough. Did it feel good? Was it amazing compared to jacking off? Did it hurt?”

 

       It certainly was better than stroking his dick. In fact, he’d start doing it more often! If only he didn’t put it back.... What if Mikaela hid it again? “It hurt only a little,” Yūichirō mumbled as he carefully sat down on the single-seater couch, purposefully to avoid the one Mikaela fucked Akane on, and to prevent Mikaela from sitting next to him.

 

       Which didn’t matter, because Mikaela pulled him up by the arm, making him wince at the pain. “Don’t sit down, stupid. We’re about to leave.”

 

       “Leave?” Yūichirō took his hand away. “Where are we going?”

 

       “I need to meet up with a few people. And I want to show you to them while we’re at it.”

 

       “No....” Yūichirō wanted to groan as Mikaela started dragging him along. “I don’t wanna go anywhere! I’m in pain.

 

       “So? You won’t be for long.”

 

       This is so annoying, Yūichirō thought irritably. He’s getting on my nerves! How could I think about him doing things to me? I’m so gross. I don’t even want that with him!

 

       Yūichirō looked at their fingers that were intertwined together. He squeezed gently as they went up the stairs, his ass aching. Yeah, I don’t even like him like that!

 

....

 

Smoke filled Yūichirō’s nose. He was trying his hardest not to cough, but there were so many conflicting smells that he didn’t know what else to do. He wheezed a bit, sitting on a couch next to Mikaela who was currently smoking.

 

       On the floor with a weird object between them sat two people, one with purple hair and one with gray.

 

       The room was rather small. The only thing that was even there were the couches, the thing they were smoking out of, and a table leaning against the wall.

 

       “He’s really adorable,” a girl who sat on the single-seater couch’s arm said, holding a cigarette between her two fingers. “Where’d you find him?”

 

       Yūichirō glanced up at her. She, too, had purple hair. A little… more purple, though? It was short, and her outfit was very… revealing. Another girl with light blonde hair sat on the couch, legs crossed and the only one not smoking. She was quiet.

 

       “He found me,” Mikaela replied, his arm behind Yūichirō’s head as he rested it there on the couch. “It’s a funny story, actually. Maybe for another time.”

 

       The other guy with purple hair on the floor, whose name was Lacus as Mikaela told him earlier, coughed. Choking on the smoke, presumably. Then he said, “Crowley will be here at some point. His flight got delayed. You should just tell us while we wait for him.”

 

       “Maybe Yū-chan will tell you it,” Mikaela suggested, pointedly glancing at him.

 

       Hell no! Yūichirō shook his head in response, looking down at his lap self-consciously. He didn’t want to speak to them.

 

       Mikaela rubbed the back of his black hair affectionately. “I guess he’s just shy right now.”

 

       He moved away from the blond, scooting further down the seat. Lacus chuckled at that, and the room went sort of quiet, which was entirely too awkward. He hoped someone would break the silence.

 

       Yūichirō looked at Mikaela who continued to smoke on his cigarette, staring off ahead emotionlessly. I should ask him if I could go to the bathroom or something… and I’ll just hide there.

 

       Before he could open his mouth, Lacus had spoken.

 

       “Do you want to smoke one?” he asked. At first, Yūichirō had no idea who he was talking to, but then Mikaela glanced at him. Yūichirō looked down to the purple-haired guy and realized he was looking at him.

 

       “Uh… no… no, thanks....”

 

       “Are you sure?” the girl with purple hair said instead. “We won’t tell anyone! You should try it now that you have the opportunity.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, and Mikaela spoke up to help him. “He doesn’t really like smoke. I wouldn’t want him to start smoking, either.”

 

       Lacus leaned back on his hands. “Pfft. Pussy.”

 

       “I’m not—” Yūichirō started, but Mikaela interrupted.

 

       “Yeah, he really is. I’ve honestly never met a bigger bitch.”

 

       I thought you were on my side! Yūichirō thought as he glared at Mikaela. This is some serious betrayal, Mika.... “I’m not a bitch,” he said to defend himself. “I’ll smoke one. You’ll see! Give me a cigarette, Mika.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “You won’t do it. You hate the smell of mine.”

 

       “Then I’ll take whatever they’re having,” he said, pointing at the object between Lacus and the guy with gray hair who was still silent. “I’ll smoke anything to prove it.”

 

       “No,” Mikaela told him, grabbing his arm before he could get up. “I don’t know what crazy shit they put in that. Here,” he then said. “We’ll shotgun it.”

 

       “We’ll what?”

 

       Mikaela scooted closer to him and caressed his face with a free hand. “Just suck it in.”

 

       “Wait, huh?” Yūichirō faced Mikaela. “What are we doing? What do I do?”

 

       But Mikaela had already put the cigarette in his mouth again and started smoking it. Lacus spoke up to clarify, “While he blows the smoke towards your mouth, suck it in.”

 

       “H—how… how do I do that?” Yūichirō asked, watching as Mikaela took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Wait, how does he do th—”

 

       Mikaela’s hand moved to the back of his head to push him towards himself. Their lips then barely pressed together, and Yūichirō instinctively started to close his mouth for the kiss. But that wasn’t what Mikaela was trying to do, apparently, as the blond squeezed his hair and pulled him back. “Keep your mouth open, dumbass. I’m not trying to kiss you, I'm just making it easier.”

 

       He heard at least three people giggle that time. Yūichirō’s face heated up as Mikaela leaned away to blow out the smoke after a moment, then put the cigarette back in his mouth.

 

       “Mika,” he whispered, leaning in close. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do....”

 

       Mikaela only stared at him before pulling out the cigarette. Then, again, his hand was back in his hair and bringing them together. Their lips sort of connected and Yūichirō made sure to keep his mouth open. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to—!

 

       He felt something warm flow inside. Mikaela moved away after pushing Yūichirō's chin up to close his mouth. It tasted horrible, but Yūichirō let it sit, unsure of what he’s supposed to be doing.

 

       “Suck it in, you idiot,” Mikaela said as he put out his cigarette. “Geez, you’re such a moron.”

 

       How do I suck it in, though? Yūichirō thought impatiently, glaring at Mikaela. You’re not really helping me here!

 

       “Don’t think about it. Just do it.”

 

       Yūichirō opened his mouth to speak, but as he tried to get the first word in, he sucked in a breath along with the smoke and started coughing.

 

       While Lacus and the girl with purple hair clapped for him, Mikaela pat his back. “There you go.”

 

       He gave him a look as he continued to cough, feeling like he was about to faint or something. Or choke and die.

 

       “That’s definitely his first time, huh?” Lacus chuckled. “Well, what do you think, Yū? Is it good?”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, still coughing. Mikaela rubbed circles on his back soothingly, then said, “I guess he’s not that much of a bitch after all.”

 

       “Oh, stop!” the girl said playfully. “Look at how red he is! You’re all embarrassing him.”

 

       God, I hate this. Yūichirō stood up at the thought while his coughs finally ceased. “Mika,” he said, his breath hoarse. “Where’s the bathroom?”

 

       “I’ll take you there,” Mikaela said quietly, also standing up and taking his hand. Without any words from everyone else there, they left the small, smoke-filled room.

 

       Mikaela really did lead him towards the bathroom right across the room, but as Yūichirō kinda expected, the blond entered with him.

 

       “Alright,” Mikaela then said once the door closed. “Hurry up—”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō interrupted. “Take me home. I don’t want to be here anymore. This place is dirty and stupid and I can’t breathe.”

 

       Mikaela rolled his eyes, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. “I need to wait for Crowley to get here. Be patient.”

 

       Yūichirō rose his voice in frustration. “I’ve been patient enough! Just take me home, Mika. Now. I hate it here and I hate your stupid friends!”

 

       “Okay, first of all,” Mikaela started, now glaring at him. “They’re not my friends. Second, who do you think you’re talking to like that? I do recall a deal we made earlier, by the way.”

 

       “Yeah? And guess what?” Yūichirō took a step closer to him. “My ass is better now. I don’t have to do what you say because these pills are deep inside me. Just like that dildo was! I bet that makes you so mad,” he then said in a mock pouty voice. “Because you want to keep me all for yourself so you can manipulate me like the sick fuck you are.”

 

       Mikaela smiled, still leaning against the door. “You must think so highly of yourself if you believe that I want my amazing cock anywhere near your disgusting boy parts. And you’re calling me a sick fuck? That’s very hypocritical, Yū-chan.”

 

       “Shut up, Mika. If you won’t take me home, then I’m just going to walk there. I’m sick and tired of your stupid attitude. Maybe you should learn to respect me for a change. You did nearly drive me to suicide, after all. Shouldn’t you be nicer to me?”

 

       “I’ll be nice to you when you learn your fucking lesson.” Mikaela then leaned away from the door, causing Yūichirō to take a step back. But of course, Mikaela kept walking forward, and he had no choice but to walk backwards until he bumped into something. “I don’t know why you keep running your stupid little whore mouth when you know I’m better than you. It’s pissing me off.”

 

       Yūichirō’s back hit the tile wall behind him. At the same time, Mikaela pressed a hand to his mouth, just like how it was when they first met. Yūichirō could remember it so vividly as if it was happening all over again. And just two days ago, he was being sweet and doing my hair. We even had a good laugh together....

 

       “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Mikaela asked rhetorically as Yūichirō was unable to reply. “We can’t ever get along because you keep holding your nose up and running your mouth like an asshole.”

 

       And you keep attacking me no matter what I do. You’re the asshole here, Mika. You’re bossy and mean and stupid and you’re a two-faced fuck!

 

       “What will it take for you to learn your—” Mikaela paused. His eyes widened slightly, showing surprise. It was like he realized something. “Oh… of course.... I get it now.” Mikaela let go of Yūichirō’s mouth, backing up. “I’ve been getting so frustrated and worked up over your attitude that I never thought about it....”

 

       Yūichirō was confused. “What are you talking about, Mika?” He glared at the blond who was looking away. “Just take me home already!”

 

       “But it makes so much sense now,” he went on, looking at Yūichirō. “And I hate that I now realize it… because this is good for you.” Mikaela turned to face him completely. “You like this. You’re getting off on it, too. So… you’re not just a masochist who only enjoys pain…” he trailed off, then, “You like being mistreated, too, don’t you?”

 

       “That’s not—”

 

       “Oh, wow,” Mikaela interrupted, taking a step closer. “You’ve been enjoying this the entire time! You loved it when I told you how nasty you were. You love all the mean nicknames I call you, and the way I look at you as if you’re nothing more than a piece of garbage.”

 

       “No… no, I don’t....” But Yūichirō glanced down at the ground, feeling his cheeks light up.

 

       Mikaela’s hand went to his neck, forcing him to look up. The blond squeezed gently. “But… now what should I do? You enjoy… all of it. How can I discipline you now, knowing you like it just like this?” He rose another hand and squeezed harder. “No, wait, this isn’t good, Yū-chan. Not everything is adding up....”

 

       Yūichirō rose his hands to pry off Mikaela’s fingers. He closed his eyes and gasped for breath, and meanwhile, his own dick pressed against his jeans.

 

       “You cried because of what I was saying to you when you were off your meds. You almost killed yourself because of how gross you know you are. I don’t think you’re a total masochist, Yū-chan. Some part of you realizes that this is horribly wrong.”

 

       He tried to force out words to tell Mikaela to let him go, but the blond’s grip had tightened as he spoke, and Yūichirō could only make choking sounds in place of speech.

 

       “And you know what?” Mikaela went on, “It’s perfect. As long as I know that you won’t enjoy everything I could possibly do to you… it’ll be just fine for me.”

 

       I think I’m gonna start to see the light, Yūichirō thought jokingly, wishing he could find humor in the situation. He only became lightheaded, giving up on trying to breathe.

 

       “Do you want to know why, Yū-chan…?” Mikaela whispered just as he was starting to blackout. “You see, if it wasn’t obvious.... I’m a sadist, and I love seeing you in pain.”

Chapter Text

Mikaela released his neck. Yūichirō immediately fell to the floor and gasped for breath, saliva drooling from his mouth. He managed to swallow it down before Mikaela grabbed his hair and pulled him up a bit. The blond crouched right in front of him, the dark look still on his face.

 

       “All this time, Yū…” he went on, staring him down. “All this time, I’ve enjoyed seeing you like this. I didn’t want to tell you what my kink was when you asked me. I was sure you’d think I liked watching you vomit and you wishing you were dead. But that wasn’t hot at all.” Mikaela chuckled.

 

       Yūichirō still tried his hardest to breathe, though he heard and processed everything Mikaela was saying.

 

       “Anyway… you said I was always soft, too.” Mikaela now stood, pulling Yūichirō to his feet by his hair. He dragged him out of the bathroom without a care in the world, and once they were outside, he forced Yūichirō to his knees. There was no room for protests.

 

       “So, pop quiz, do you think my dick is hard right now?” Mikaela asked, standing in front of him.

 

       He coughed in attempts to respond. When the blond impatiently moved Yūichirō’s head side to side for an answer, he forced himself to look at Mikaela’s crotch.

 

       Does it even matter?

 

       “Y… yes…?”

 

       Mikaela released his hair and began to unzip his pants. Yūichirō watched hazily, anticipating the answer.

 

       Mikaela’s pants and boxers went low enough to reveal his soft cock. Yūichirō guiltily looked down. He was the only one turned on by the entire thing, then. He wanted to raise a hand to his mouth as if preventing himself from vomiting, but he had already touched the bathroom floor.

 

       “You’re the only dirty bitch here. No matter how good it is to see you suffering, I can’t help but think about how disgusting you are. It’s so hard for me to get turned on because of that....” Mikaela took a step closer, his cock nearly bumping against Yūichirō’s head. “But now I want you to change that.”

 

       Once again, a hand was in his hair, pulling him up a little. Yūichirō found himself level with Mikaela’s crotch, the tip of the blond’s cock right at his mouth.

 

       “Suck me off, Yū. And do it good.”

 

       He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the part of him that wanted things to keep going. Of course he wanted to... but he didn't want to make it obvious so Mikaela wouldn’t shame him for it like how he had the first day they met. He didn’t want to give in, either. So, reluctantly, he mumbled, “No....”

 

       “I’m sorry?”

 

       “No… I won’t… I won’t do it....”

 

       Mikaela pulled his head back so that he could look at him. “Do you think you have a fucking choice?”

 

       “I-I—” He whimpered, trying to get the words out. “Mika, p-please....”

 

       The blond bit his lip, eyeing him for a moment. Yūichirō couldn’t bear to look into his blue gaze, so he blinked his eyes shut. He hoped he didn’t give anything away… especially as his body trembled and his dick uncomfortably formed a tent in his pants.

 

       So… humiliating! I feel like such an idiot… he makes me feel like I’m so pathetic....

 

       “Why not?” Mikaela finally asked, though not genuinely. “I know you want it, bitch. Just suck my cock. Do it right here in the middle of this fucking hallway.”

 

       Just as he was about to say no again, Mikaela had managed to shove the tip of his length inside. Yūichirō gasped in alarm, and before he could accidentally bite down, the blond shoved himself in further, nearly hitting the back of his tongue.

 

       It’s so… big! It’s stretching my mouth so wide…!

 

       The thought was pleasing to him. The way his jaw quickly began to ache made him want to moan. It was lewd and it was horrible, and he loved it.

 

       Unfortunately, Mikaela kept going in further and Yūichirō, not wanting to throw up in that very moment, moved away. The back of his head hit the bathroom door and Mikaela took a step closer, closing the distance between them. He made it impossible for Yūichirō to get away, even if he wanted to.

 

       Now, head against the door, Yūichirō took in a deep breath with Mikaela’s cock in his mouth. He then felt the head touch the back of his throat, but he made sure to hold his breath to prevent himself from inhaling with his mouth so that his gag reflex didn’t go crazy.

 

       Wow, this is—I’m... I can’t believe I have... Mika’s....

 

       He blinked open his eyes despite the tears pooling in them. They widened when he realized that he didn’t even take all of Mikaela’s length yet. If he did, then his nose would be to his crotch, yet he was a few inches away from that. But… my whole fucking mouth… is full.... I can’t do this! He’s not even fully hard yet!

 

       Mikaela sighed. “Of course you can’t do it,” he said, almost as if reading his mind. “You can’t take all of it just like everyone else.”

 

       After managing another deep, shaky breath and raising his hands to grab hold onto Mikaela’s thighs, Yūichirō pushed himself forwards. He felt his cock go in a bit further, and he had to shut his eyes again at the pain. It felt like his whole jaw would break.

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela whispered, moving away a little just as he hardened inside his mouth. “Fuck.”

 

       He only moaned in response, his current language being Blowjob.

 

       “Oh, you want more, huh?” Mikaela went forwards, which made Yūichirō move his head back. “Go ahead, then. I wasn’t really going to make you blow me, but if you want to, then I won’t stop it. Just know there’s no going back.”

 

       Yūichirō brought his challenging eyes up to meet Mikaela’s, a dick still in his mouth. He made sure his expression read “I don’t give a fuck” as he slowly moved his head to the door, his tongue sliding against the blond’s cock.

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “You’re so naughty, Yū-chan. There’s people in the room right behind us, and look at how nasty you are for me.” Yūichirō ignored him as he took it in deep again. “You looked so innocent, too. And now to see you like this....” Mikaela groaned. “It is so good.”

 

       “Mmm,” Yūichirō dragged out, his eyes nearly rolling. “Mmh, Mi-ah.” He moved back, letting the head slide against his tongue. “You like it like th—mmf....”

 

       “Shut the fuck up,” Mikaela suddenly snapped. “Don’t talk, you stupid whore. Just suck my cock and moan.”

 

       He nodded despite the length in his mouth. Yūichirō brought himself up a little, one of his hands rising to grip the end of Mikaela’s shirt to hold himself up.

 

       I’ll suck on this like a popsicle stick, Yūichirō thought, trying not to smile. I’ll suck on it good for you, Mika. Really good. I’m going to do my best....

 

       With his other hand, he put a hand to his jeans, trying to fix his own dick. It was pressing against his pants uncomfortably, and he didn’t know what else to do. It would be hard to pull it down completely without stopping. He was sure Mikaela wouldn’t let him.

 

       Yūichirō moaned in frustration. He was already getting tired. His jaw ached and his body hurt from the position. Yūichirō didn’t know how long it’d take before Mikaela came. And with how things were going, it looked like it would be awhile. He was sure he wasn’t even fully erect yet.

 

       Why aren’t you turned on by me? Yūichirō thought, feeling a little worthless. Am I not good enough for you, Mika? What do you want from me? What… what can I do to make you grow hard for me?

 

       He pulled out Mikaela’s cock entirely. “No more,” he said, an idea coming to his head. “Say please and I’ll—”

 

       Mikaela was already shoving it inside his mouth. Yūichirō’s head banged harshly against the door. As Mikaela pulled out and went back in, he hit his head again, following the blond’s movements. Sure enough, though not exactly as planned, Mikaela’s cock slowly hardened in his mouth.

 

       He winced as his head kept banging against the door over and over, every time getting louder. When he was unable to take it anymore, he kept his head still as Mikaela went in. Once again, it hit the back of his throat and his gags were muffled.

 

       “Perfect,” Mikaela groaned, gripping his hair. “Perfect… ah, you’re perfect, Yū....”

 

       Yūichirō moaned in response, then remembered he should be making more sounds. He sucked in his cheeks, hoping that was how it was done. It made the wettest sound he’d ever heard, and then he realized his mouth was dripping with saliva. As Mikaela continued to move, Yūichirō tried to slurp it up at the same time. He also hoped that it would contribute to the blond’s pleasure.

 

       It feels like I'm about to come, Yūichirō thought, continuing to moan and suck. Am I? I can hardly tell. He shut his eyes as they threatened to roll back. Holy fuck. How is this so amazing? I’m not even getting my dick sucked.

 

       “Ahhm,” Yūichirō moaned, trying to say something. “Mmm, mmf! M-ah… M—!”

 

       “Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?” Mikaela said, pulling Yūichirō’s head away. At the same time, the blond went all the way back, his cock nearly leaving Yūichirō’s mouth completely.

 

       It was only seconds before Mikaela shoved himself inside deep and fast. Yūichirō had to choke that time, feeling the back of his throat interrupt his length from going further. Yūichirō pushed Mikaela away and turned to the side to cough. He covered his mouth with a hand, feeling his stomach churn awfully. He didn’t even care that it had been on the bathroom floor anymore.

 

       This is… so aggressive, he thought, though his mind was hazy with lust and coming down from his high. Yūichirō glanced down at his now-wet jeans. I came....

 

       “You’re not done,” Mikaela told him without a care in the world about how he was feeling. “Not until I say so.”

 

       Yūichirō would have rolled his eyes if he was in the right state of mind. Instead, he simply repositioned himself to how he was before, then opened his mouth wide.

 

       “That’s what I thought,” Mikaela muttered as he fit his cock back inside. “That’s my obedient little Yū-chan.”

 

       He groaned in response, sucking once again. I can’t, he thought, feeling weak. I can’t do this anymore… please just come, Mika. Release it all to the thought of me.

 

       He kept moving his tongue and sucked, though he didn’t know for how much longer he could keep it up. He wasn’t used to taking such a big dick, after all, (or any in the first place). However, that wasn’t a compliment to Mikaela’s size or anything. He can’t even have the pleasure of putting his entire dick in someone’s mouth. Hah.

 

       As he thought that, Mikaela moved in again. He held in a breath and winced at the pain he felt as the blond made small thrusts there.

 

       “Ah, god.... I swear, you’re the only one who lets me do this.” Mikaela kept Yūichirō’s head in place as he kept thrusting. “Just a little more....”

 

       I can’t breathe.

 

       Mikaela, somehow, kept going in. Yūichirō was sure he was about to lose his entire jaw and ruin his throat for the rest of his life.

 

       He’s so rough!

 

       The blond’s thrusts got more violent, and Yūichirō needed to air more than ever. Mikaela only groaned as he moved, clearly disregarding Yūichirō’s health.

 

       I’m going to die. Oh my god. I’m going to die sucking dick and—

 

       When he felt something wet and weird hit the deep depths of his throat, he immediately swallowed and took in a deep breath. Mikaela’s cock slid out near the same time, though not completely. His cum filled Yūichirō’s mouth to the point where when Mikaela finally moved away, Yūichirō had to cough some of it out, both of his hands down on the floor.

 

       “No,” Mikaela said after a long sigh. “Swallow it, Yū, you moron. All of it.”

 

       No, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. Some of Mikaela’s cum was already on the carpet.

 

       “Did you not hear me?” Mikaela asked, but Yūichirō didn’t want to try using his own voice to respond. He was sure it was rhetorical anyway. “I said swallow all of it.”

 

       Yūichirō swallowed what was already in his mouth, then started licking his lips. It felt extremely weird and he did not want any more of it. Sort of. Okay, he definitely did, but not any of it that went to the floor—

 

       Just as he was thinking about how gross it would be to lick it from the carpet, he felt Mikaela’s foot hit the back of his head, forcing his face down to the ground. He was glad his forehead bumped into the carpet instead of his nose.

 

       “Lick it off the floor.”

 

       That’s way too far, he whined in his head, feeling Mikaela press harder. I’m going to be literally sick after this. Yūichirō held in a sigh before obeying the order. Sticking out his tongue where it was and repositioning slightly, he reluctantly lapped up the small spots of cum he wished he never coughed out, Mikaela’s foot still on his head.

 

       “Good job, Yū-chan,” Mikaela praised, stepping away. “And hello, Crowley. It’s about time you showed up.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened when he looked to the side, seeing another person there. They were not too far from them, and they held something in their hands, sunglasses shielding their eyes. He seemed frozen in place as if he didn’t know what he was looking at.

 

       “This is my little fucktoy,” Mikaela said, his cock somehow already in his pants. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”

 

       “Uh,” they said as they walked towards them. “He?”

 

       Mikaela was quiet for a second. Yūichirō looked to the blond, meeting his curious yet confused gaze. Mikaela stared at Yūichirō as he said, “Unfortunately. But he has a nice ass, and after a little work, I'll have a good time fucking him.”

 

       He'll.... Yūichirō shut his eyes, imagining Mikaela using those rough, rhythmic movements on him. Do I… do I want that…? Will he really, or is he just saying that?

 

       “Well,” Crowley said, now somewhere behind them. “I brought the stuff just like how you bitched about.”

 

       “Perfect,” Mikaela replied. Yūichirō opened his eyes to see that they were entering the room again. Without me?

 

       Crowley paused. “What about him?”

 

       Mikaela turned around to give Yūichirō a disgusted look. “Leave him. He’s got a mess to clean.”

 

....

 

When they finally arrived back at Yūichirō’s house, the first thing he did was brush his teeth and shower.

 

       Every time Mikaela would talk to him, he’d stay quiet or whisper or shake his head. He didn’t want to test his voice, and he didn’t really want to speak to him. It was awkward enough as it was. Mikaela didn’t seem to have a problem, though. Despite shoving his entire cock down Yūichirō’s throat earlier.

 

       Not literally, but still.

 

       He was relieved that the time to sleep soon came after dinner. Sure, he’d have problems actually falling asleep, but at least once he managed, he’d be waking up to a new day.

 

       Or, that was what he hoped for as he had been tossing and turning on the air mattress. But no, instead, what felt like only half an hour once he finally managed to drift off into a light sleep, he woke up to a pleasurable sensation on his thighs.

 

       “Ah,” he moaned lightly, squirming a little in place. “Ahhh....”

 

       Since he had just woken up, he had no idea what was happening. He tried to focus on why it felt so pleasing. As he opened his eyes, he noticed a mound under the blankets on top of him. What… he thought, recognizing the feeling of teeth biting his upper thigh. What.

 

       Mikaela groaned as he bit down, and Yūichirō’s leg jerked in response. He immediately sat up and away from the blond, moving to the edge. “What are you doing?” he whispered angrily, ignoring the ache in his throat and watching as Mikaela began to sit up, too.

 

       “Marking you,” Mikaela said simply and calmly. Yūichirō could see the glint in his eyes despite the darkness around them.

 

       He looked down at his own body. Since it was dark, he couldn’t really see anything, but he could definitely tell and feel that he had no clothes on, except for his underwear. “How long have you…” he trailed off, then, “How long have you been doing that for?”

 

       “I pretty much just started,” Mikaela told him, then pat the space between his own legs. The blond was fully dressed. “Come here, Yū. I’m nowhere near finished.”

 

       “No,” he whispered back, looking around for his clothes.

 

       Mikaela sighed. “You’re so fucking disobedient. I’m not going to tell you again.”

 

       He ignored him and instead began to crawl off his bed.

 

       “You see, this is why I hate you.” Mikaela got up from the mattress, too. “You never listen, and you can’t ever do something without needing to be asked twice.”

 

       Yūichirō made a start for his door. He’d lock himself in the bathroom and sleep in the tub or something.

 

       “I bet you do it on purpose, too.” Mikaela grabbed his arm and tugged him back. “Because you want me to punish you or something.”

 

       I just wanted to sleep....

 

       “It’ll be over before you know it,” Mikaela whispered in his ear then nuzzled into his hair. “You’ll probably fall asleep because of how good I’ll take care of you. I won’t bite too hard.”

 

       Yūichirō tried to squirm out of Mikaela’s hold, though to no use. He was dragged over to his bed this time, then pushed onto it. The blond moved to get on with him, his body then covering his as he pressed his lips to Yūichirō’s.

 

       “Mmm-uah.” Mikaela kissed him mockingly. Then, backing up with a smile, he mumbled, “You’re so cute, Yū-chan. Do you like this?”

 

       He sure does talk a lot of shit, Yūichirō thought to himself, feeling irritated. He hummed a yes and shut his eyes sleepily. Maybe I can sleep like this. At least I’m in my own bed again....

 

       Mikaela pecked his lips once more, then shuffled down to his neck. He felt the blond’s tongue slowly travel up as he licked a small section, preparing it for the worst. He knew damn well Mikaela would bite as hard as he wanted, and that taking care of another person was his last priority.

 

       Sure enough, Mikaela’s head tilted a little before he brought Yūichirō’s skin into his mouth. The blond bit down hard without remorse.

 

       Yūichirō whined and moved his head back at the pain. He winced, feeling his own dick react in his boxers. Again…?

 

       Mikaela moaned against his neck then moved away to position his own covered cock on top of Yūichirō’s. “I’m so horny, Yū.... I hate to admit it, but I can’t stop thinking about how far I shoved my cock down your throat, and how.... Ah, how you moaned and cried and swallowed all of my cum....”

 

       Yūichirō blinked open his eyes to see Mikaela sitting on top of him, slowly moving forwards and backwards. He looked like he was in a haze. And his dick is hard. I mean, his cock. He got hard thinking of me! Yūichirō couldn’t but smile. I turn him on now.

 

       “Oh, Mika,” he whispered. “I’ll let you—”

 

       He paused when Mikaela started laughing. “Just kidding. What if I told you I’m hard right now because I was thinking about this girl I fucked a while ago? Ah, her pussy tasted so good… and she wasn’t too tight or too loose.”

 

       Yūichirō wrinkled his nose in disgust. “No… I don’t wanna hear that....”

 

       “Are you sad I’ll never lick you the way I licked her?” Mikaela leaned forwards. “Her moans were so beautiful, Yū-chan. Even better than yours. Can you imagine?”

 

       He tried to move out from under Mikaela, though the pressure the blond was putting at their hips was too much. Yūichirō felt his chest tighten, feeling worthless.

 

       “Too bad I’ll never see her again,” Mikaela sighed longingly. “But at least I can turn myself on just by thinking about her. I could never do that with you.”

 

       “Stop,” he muttered, trying to turn around. “I don’t care, Mika. Just stop.”

 

       Mikaela pressed his hands down on Yūichirō’s shoulders to keep him still. “No, I think you do. Show me how much this bothers you.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed. His throat also tightened, though he didn’t know why. He just wanted to disappear under his covers and never breathe again. He didn’t want to bother crying. His tears meant nothing to anyone.

 

       The blond caressed the side of Yūichirō’s face soothingly, rubbing a thumb over his cheeks. Yūichirō stopped struggling, so there was no need for him to hold his shoulders.

 

       “I don’t care,” Yūichirō whispered, looking into Mikaela’s eyes. “I don’t care what you think about me or what you want to do to me. I don’t care, Mika!” He rose a hand to grab Mikaela’s and pull it away. “I’ve always been worthless, anyway. It doesn’t matter what I do.... So do whatever you want with me. But I’m done giving a shit.”

 

       “Wow, this must really upset you, huh?” Mikaela moved his hand away. “Just because I told you I like some made-up girl more than you?”

 

       Yūichirō just closed his eyes and relaxed, preparing to go to sleep. Maybe I’ll have something other than cereal this time, he thought, remembering that they were out of it. Hopefully Shinya cooks, because then I’ll have to make something for myself.

 

       He felt Mikaela stay still on top of him.

 

       Stupid Guren. When is he gonna get paid again so we can buy some more food? How are we poor when he works like… all week! Sorta. And Shinya works, too. What’s up with that?

 

       That reminds me.... I’m gonna have a job soon, too. Yūichirō frowned. I don’t want to do that yet.

 

       He felt Mikaela start to turn him around. Yūichirō let himself lay on his stomach, trying not to care about what Mikaela was about to do. His thoughts weren’t distracting enough, though, and he found himself wondering if Mikaela was about to… fuck him or something.

 

       Then he heard two clicks.

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened when he felt Mikaela’s hands slip under his chest. He wanted to move away, but the blond had already closed the nipple clamps tightly on both of his nipples, and Yūichirō nearly let out a cry of pain.

 

       “Wh—wh—” he tried to say, catching his breath. Yūichirō pressed his hands down on the bed to lift himself up, about to unclamp them from himself. But Mikaela grabbed both of his hands and pulled him back so that was leaning against the blond’s chest.

 

       Yūichirō stared into the darkness in front of him as Mikaela began tying something around and behind his now-crossed arms to keep them in place. He wanted to ask Mikaela what he was trying to accomplish, but he didn’t want to act like he cared.

 

       Mikaela pushed him down on the bed once he finished. Before Yūichirō could lay on his stomach completely, he felt the blond hold up his hips, his ass sticking in the air.

 

       Oh, god.

 

       “Mika,” he finally said, feeling the blond roll down his boxers. “Stop—hah… stop, okay? This is t-too far.... My parents....”

 

       His thoughts didn't care.

 

       Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t....

 

       Mikaela was deathly silent. Yūichirō felt something cold pour down on top of his ass. The blond then spread Yūichirō’s asscheeks away from each other, and whatever that liquid was began to roll down to his asshole. He shivered at the odd sensation.

 

       Is this… rope? Yūichirō tried moving his arms as Mikaela made no other action behind him. Whatever tied him together felt weird and rough against his skin. He bit his lip as his nipples began to grow just as hard as his dick, though restrained by the clamps. He moaned at the pain, but when he felt something being shoved completely inside his ass, he nearly screamed.

 

       “Fuck! Oh, fuck, oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck—!”

 

       Before he could process the horrible feeling in his ass, the blond already started to move it out. He went all the way back before going all the way in, but Yūichirō didn’t feel the blond’s hips smack against his ass. Is he… is he really fucking me? Oh, my god. He’s fucking me and my parents can hear everything. Why is this happening already? I thought… I thought....

 

       The blond didn’t lean over him and only kept pulling in and out, in and out. Yūichirō was sure he couldn’t handle it anymore. He had came twice that day, but he was already at his breaking limit. He couldn’t go on anymore. His nipples hurt, his ass hurt, and so did his feelings.

 

       “Ohh, ohh my god, ” he moaned loudly despite his raw throat, feeling the dick in his ass pound him. “Oh, fuck yes, fuck. Mika, I—ahh, mmn....”

 

       Still, Mikaela was silent. He wasn’t even groaning, yet his cock was deep inside his tight ass? I thought—he tried to think, the image of Mikaela fucking Akane flashing in his head for a moment. I thought he didn’t like it when it’s tight like—oh, fuck.

 

       His body rocked to the movements freely. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, and he had to open his mouth wide. Yūichirō couldn’t help his moans, either, practically screaming. Mikaela’s cock felt too good in his ass, the nipple clamps fucking hurt, and the thrill of being caught at any moment made it all the more exhilarating.

 

       This is so good, too good. I’m going to lose my mind.

 

       As soon as the thought came in, his own dick spurted out cum. It throbbed with the need to be stroked, though there was nothing he could do about it.

 

       Yūichirō slumped in place, though Mikaela’s hand still held his hips up. The dick in his ass continued to move, but slowly this time and not as deep. Yūichirō appreciated Mikaela going slow for him. I wish I didn’t come so fast....

 

       “Ah… god…” Yūichirō mumbled, sighing. “Mika....” He turned around once the dick in his ass left completely. Then, he smelled smoke, and his eyes widened when he could see Mikaela clearly in the dark.

 

       The blond had a cigarette in his mouth and he was fully dressed… with Yūichirō’s blue dildo in his hand.

Chapter Text

“You… you tricked me!” Yūichirō forced himself upwards without the help of his hands, his cum grossly sticking to his lower back. He shuffled away from Mikaela and winced at the pain all the while. “I thought… I thought…!”

 

       “You thought what?” Mikaela sneered as he pulled out the cigarette from his mouth and set the dildo down. “That I’d actually want to put my cock inside of you?” He scoffed. “And no, I didn’t trick you. I never said I’d fuck you, did I?”

 

       “Just…” he whispered at first, not meeting the blond’s gaze in embarrassment. Thanks to the spike of irritance, he rose his voice and eyes and finished, “Just fucking untie me.”

 

       Mikaela blew out the smoke he had just inhaled into Yūichirō’s face. He flinched. “No. Why should I? You don’t deserve anything.”

 

       More anger. “Mika, just fucking—!”

 

       The blond’s lube-covered hand met Yūichirō’s mouth to shut him up. “Don't talk to me like that, bitch.”

 

       He didn’t want to open his mouth and respond to that knowing what that hand had touched and where the item had been. His mind ran with witty responses, though, and he squeezed his eyes shut and wished he could tell Mikaela off.

 

       “This was your punishment. Just accept it and we won’t have any problems.”

 

       When Mikaela pulled his hand away, Yūichirō glared up at him. Some blissful punishment that was. His hands twitched with the need to wipe his mouth. It’s over, isn’t it? Now let me go! I just want to sleep, dammit!

 

       Mikaela only continued smoking his cigarette. He had also picked up the dildo and seemed to inspect it, taking his sweet time.

 

       It was at that moment where he gave up. Yūichirō fell to his back and shuffled on the bed a bit, ignoring his own sticky cum. He reluctantly opened his mouth and said, “Goodnight, Mika. Fuck you. I’ll sleep like this.”

 

       “What, with your arms tied up and those nipple clamps on?”

 

       The reminder made them ache in response.

 

       “Y-yes....”

 

       Mikaela snickered. “You’re so cute, Yū.”

 

       “I’m what?”

 

       “I said you’re cute.” The blond crawled over him, the cigarette missing from his hand. “Accept the compliment.”

 

       He watched him curiously, raising a brow. “I’m not sure that was a compliment.”

 

       “It was. Fuck,” Mikaela then added as he lowered himself down. “Yū....”

 

       “No, fuck you.

 

       “No, idiot. Can’t you tell when people say your name?”

 

       Yūichirō’s angry expression didn’t falter. “I wanna sleep.”

 

       “And I want to kiss you.”

 

       “And I don’t care!” Yūichirō tried moving out from under him, barely wiggling in place. “Let me go—”

 

       Their lips met. He groaned his annoyance and didn’t bother kissing back (not that he knew how), though he did feel a little smug knowing the fact that he had more than just lube from the dildo on his mouth.

 

       Mikaela hardly moved away. “Kiss me back, bitch.”

 

       “Okay. As long as you don’t mind the lube and other things you had on your hand earlier.”

 

       “Like I give a fuck.”

 

       “Wait,” Yūichirō quickly interrupted before Mikaela went back in. He had thought the blond wouldn’t continue after knowing that, so he had to make another excuse. “This is uncomfortable.... Mika, I’ll kiss you if you untie—”

 

       The blond didn’t care. He forced his tongue past Yūichirō’s lips and they both moaned. Yūichirō had to arch his back from the pressure he was putting on his arms, mouth opening and his own tongue moving out. He tried to ignore the taste of that horrible smoke, but it wasn’t exactly very pleasant, so he snapped to his senses and stopped Mikaela short.

 

       “Why are you so difficult, Yū?”

 

       “Because you taste like garbage!”

 

       “Don't be rude.”

 

       “Please,” he then went on to whine. “I want to sleep, Mika... I’m so tired. E-everything hurts and I just....” Overwhelmed, he began to tear up, struggling under the restraints.

 

       It went quiet. Yūichirō tried not to cry so he wouldn’t look so pathetic, eyes shut tightly. Mikaela’s presence still hovered over him, hopefully debating giving Yūichirō a break just for the night. He hardly even remembered what he did wrong in the first place.

 

       And maybe that was it. Maybe all Mikaela was looking for was an apology!

 

       At the moment, he didn’t really care about giving in. He was tired and emotional. It didn’t take him much thought to blurt out, “I’m sorry!”

 

       “Shut up,” Mikaela said with a sigh, sitting up. Yūichirō opened his eyes hopefully. “Just shut up before I change my mind.”

 

       He nodded eagerly, suppressing a thanks. The blond helped him up as well, then turned him around to work on the rope first.

 

       Yūichirō felt too accomplished to be even a little surprised that Mikaela agreed. Maybe he was tired, too. They had been through quite a bit for the past three days, after all.

 

       The rope loosened behind him. His arms were free! Yūichirō brought them forwards to immediately unclip the clamps and then tossed them off to the side. “Fuck,” he mumbled, rubbing his nipples to make sure he even had them intact.

 

       Behind him, Mikaela was moving around, cleaning up the mess they had made.

 

        What a long day, he thought as he released himself and pat the pillow for comfort. Yūichirō held in a sigh, but before he could lay down, he remembered that he was supposed to be on the air mattress, and that he should wash off the cum.

 

       Something clattered to the floor. He was about to look and question it until the blankets started slipping from under him.

 

       “Get your fat ass off so we can sleep,” Mikaela snapped, pulling at it. Yūichirō quickly shuffled off of them and glanced to the floor.

 

       “Should I—”

 

       “Be quiet? Yes.”

 

       “N-no, um… sleep on the air mattress....”

 

       Mikaela lifted up the blankets and moved to settle down next to him. “If you want. I don’t care what you decide to do.”

 

        So I can sleep on my bed! Yūichirō gazed at the blond, though, who had turned to his side and away from him. Too bad Mika’s not gonna move. Gross. We’re definitely not sleeping together. He then reluctantly swung his legs over the edge to get off.

 

       Another night on the floor it was. At least there was the possibility of Mikaela accidentally shuffling over his cum while he was asleep.

 

 

....

 

 

“Trust me,” Mikaela was saying tiredly, slowly chasing Yūichirō around the kitchen counter.

 

       “No!” Yūichirō limped away to the living room as Mikaela patiently followed behind him. Now that he was fully rested and unrestrained to do anything, he had his fire back. He could be as disobedient as he wanted… despite the pain in his ass, of course.

 

       “Trust you,” he went on, holding onto the couch to keep himself upright. “After what you did last night!” He turned around to face Mikaela. “And what you always do to me.... I’ll never trust you, Mika!”

 

       Mikaela sighed and stopped where he was, lowering the hand that held a bottle of some type of cream. “Yū, don’t you think you’re being a little unreasonable?”

 

       Yūichirō’s voice dropped as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Unreasonab—Mika, I have every damn right to be acting the way I am right now.”

 

       “No, you don’t. I’m not planning on doing anything stupid. I’m just trying to help.”

 

       “And you don’t think I find that incredibly suspicious?” Yūichirō moved around the couch. “Mika, the gigantic asshole who does nothing but make my life miserable, wants to do me a favor. Wow.”

 

       “You’re really mad at me because I fucked you with your dildo and not my cock?”

 

       “That and—” Yūichirō paused, shaking his head. “No, I don’t care about that. I’m mad at you for plenty of other things. Like lying to everyone, for example. Fucking Akane on this very couch! ” Yūichirō grabbed the couch pillow then weakly tossed it to the blond. “I hate you, Mika! Don’t come near me!”

 

       Mikaela let the pillow hit him before it fell to the floor. He gave Yūichirō a sad, pitiful look, as if he was disappointed in his behavior. “Let me help you,” he continued to try, “You’re in pain and you need this cream. I bought it just for you.”

 

       “I don’t want it!” he snapped. “Get out of my house.”

 

       “You’re making me lose my patience, Yū.”

 

       He stuck out his tongue at him.

 

       “I’m going to give you five seconds to get down on the floor, hands and knees.”

 

       “Go ahead and count,” he responded confidently. “You don’t scare me.”

 

       The blond’s free hand went to his own pants. He took one single threatening step forward and started with, “Five.”

 

       Yūichirō glanced down at Mikaela undoing the belt he conveniently wore. Stupid leather is nothing to be scared about, he reassured himself.

 

       “Four,” Mikaela went on as he slipped it from his pants entirely. “Three.”

 

        You’re behind the couch, idiot, Yūichirō thought, though just to be sure, he walked away from it… and felt pain spike up.

 

        Wait a second.

 

       “Two.”

 

        Mika’s serious. How the hell am I going to—

 

       Too late. Mikaela counted the last number and his first instinct was to run, which was the problem in the first place. He couldn’t get away from Mikaela with the problem at his ass! Even with a five-second head start, it was impossible. Why hadn’t he thought things through?

 

       “W-wait,” Yūichirō quickly interrupted, turning around to watch Mikaela slowly walk up to him. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll accept your help, Mika. Just don’t use that thing.”

 

       “I don’t see you bending down.”

 

       He lowered himself to the floor in that instant. In no way did he doubt that Mikaela would whip him endlessly despite the pain he was already in. In fact, he was still on high alerts, so as he got to his hands and knees, he watched the blond carefully. The belt was still in his hand.

 

       Yūichirō crawled backwards a little. “Mika... don’t....”

 

       “I’m letting this go for now. Relax.” He went out of Yūichirō’s sight when he stepped behind him. “You’ll get your punishment later.”

 

       “W-why?” he stammered. “I’m obeying you! I’m behaving!”

 

       After a second, he felt Mikaela roll down his pants and boxers, exposing his ass to the air. The belt clattered noisily on the floor nearby, causing Yūichirō to tense. Apprehension then washed over him. He didn’t even see the metal on it, but he sure did hear it. He could have been suffering some major consequences. He was glad he quit his stubborn act when he did.

 

       “Spread your legs,” Mikaela suddenly ordered, snapping him out of his thoughts.

 

       He did just that, feeling obedient. It was a little nice… being bossed around. Not that he would ever admit to it aloud. In fact, now that he thought about it, no, he’d—

 

       Yūichirō gasped and jerked forwards when he felt something cold touch his asshole.

 

       “Stay still,” Mikaela told him. “Damn… how bad does it hurt?”

 

       “It’s just irritating,” Yūichirō mumbled. “Why? Does it…” he trailed off, feeling embarrassed.

 

       Mikaela didn’t respond. His finger rubbed a circle around Yūichirō’s opening, gently and soothingly. It was nearly immediately easing the itch, and he could start to feel the pleasure, all of his worries forgotten.

 

       “Ahh,” he moaned lightly, closing his eyes.

 

       “Does it feel good?” Mikaela asked with a bit of an edge to his voice.

 

       Yūichirō nodded hazily, then, “Yeah. Really good.”

 

       The edge was replaced with amusement. “See? I told you to trust me.”

 

       Now it was Yūichirō who didn’t bother to respond. He focused on the finger slicking his asshole with cream, rubbing circles or even going up and down, making him shiver. There would be a moment when he’d stop to get more. Yūichirō got only a little impatient.

 

        I’d have my ass hurt every day for this feeling. Holy fuck. Yūichirō pressed back against Mikaela’s finger when it went to his hole again. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t believe I almost missed this.

 

       “,” Mikaela said sternly, his finger absent. “Don’t move, you idiot. I almost fingered you with cream.”

 

       He opened his eyes to gaze back at Mikaela who was sitting criss-crossed and looking at him, one finger covered in something white. “I don’t care,” he told the blond confidently. “Can’t you do that, anyway? It’ll feel so good.”

 

       “No, I don’t think so....” Mikaela picked up the tube of cream and read the label. “I’m not sure I can use it inside of you. I mean, I don’t see why it’d be a problem. It doesn’t say anything on here....”

 

       Yūichirō groaned in frustration. Well, at least it didn’t feel as horrible anymore. What he needed was to lay down and watch TV now or something.

 

       He sighed and closed his eyes when Mikaela applied more again. Once they were finished, he’d probably even take a nap... or maybe he’d eat something.... Like some soup! Soup sounded great! And cold water, watching a movie with Mikaela sitting on the couches, watching with him!

 

       He paused. No, why would Mikaela be there? Just because the blond was doing him a favor didn’t mean Yūichirō wanted him around! After this, he’d go back to being angry with him for last night and everything else Mikaela had ever done to him.

 

       Upon hearing the belt clatter, well, maybe he wouldn’t be too angry.

 

       Disappointment settled in when he noticed the finger was gone from his ass... and Mikaela didn’t even say anything.

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes shot open when he noticed that. Mikaela stood up, and the belt rattled some more. He tried to crawl away in time, but it was to no use.

 

       He heard the terrifying whooshing sound of the belt gliding across the air to harshly make contact with the side of his bare ass. He flinched even before that, and after, it took him a full second to process the horrible sting he now felt.

 

       “You know what?” Mikaela said as Yūichirō’s legs nearly gave out. “You’re so lucky I didn’t hit you with the big metal part of this belt. Not even my sadism could handle the scream you would have made.”

 

       “Mika,” he croaked, struggling to keep himself up. “Mika—wait, no—!”

 

       The air shifted once again. The leather belt whipped him on the same spot, and it hurt so much that he barely felt it.

 

       “Let’s see,” Mikaela started in mock thought. “I gave you five seconds, and you used them all. Then you took another five to get on your knees for me.”

 

       Dread filled Yūichirō up at the realization where that was going.

 

       “I’ve already hit you two times, so that leaves you with eight seconds left. Or, rather, eight more of—” another whip on the same side— “this.”

 

       “P-p-please,” he cried, wishing he had the strength to get away from him… or the will to turn around so Mikaela couldn’t whip his ass anymore. “No more. I... I....”

 

       Mikaela rose up the belt and did it again and again, this time changing up the side it was on. Yūichirō thought he’d collapse to the floor at any moment, but he kept himself up so Mikaela could continue.

 

       “Just five more, Yū-chan. It’s almost over.”

 

       He squeezed the carpet, lowering his head and flinching as Mikaela continued to whip him, seemingly endlessly. The twisted part of him was enjoying it so much that it was difficult to bite back his moans, and he could swear that when he let one out, Mikaela hit him harder.

 

       His lip slipped out from between his teeth. “Ohh, fuck yes.”

 

       Mikaela sighed. There was still one hit left, but the blond came into view instead, and Yūichirō lifted his head up to look at him, confused.

 

       “You’re such a naughty little bitch,” he teased, kneeling in front of him. “I can’t believe you’re enjoying this.”

 

       “No... I’m not....”

 

       “Yes, you are, masochist. I bet you’d even enjoy an actual whip. Too bad I have a more exciting idea. I’m going to leave your last punishment as a secret. It’ll come any time, anywhere, and you’ll never know. If you don’t believe me, well....” Mikaela dropped the belt in front of him before getting up. “As I’ve been saying this entire time: trust me.”

 

       Yūichirō’s gaze lingered on Mikaela as he left the living room. He then glanced down at the belt, and his eyes widened, the red spots of blood specking both the gray leather and the silver lines of metal.

 

       ...It wouldn’t hurt to look over his shoulder every now and then.

Chapter Text

Despite their previous situation, Mikaela actually tended to the wounds on his ass and started making him some soup. Before he knew it, and just as he had wished, he was watching a movie, drinking the soup and cold water with Mikaela sitting on the couch next to him. They sat far away from each other, though.

 

       Yūichirō slurped the soup from his spoon, his eyes glued to the turning point of the movie’s plot. He was getting hyped to see the outcome, but he was consciously aware of the blond watching next to him.

 

       I wonder if he thinks this movie is garbage, Yūichirō thought, glancing down at the hot bowl of soup on his lap to scoop up more juice. He’s so quiet and it’s weird, but whatever.

 

       Just as Yūichirō put the spoon to his mouth, he heard someone shout his name, making him jump. It almost spilled on him, but thankfully it went directly back in the bowl.

 

       Mikaela moved from the couch. Yūichirō watched as he gave him a look before leaving to the kitchen.

 

       “Yū-san!” they said again, poking their head from the wall leading to the living room. “Yū—oh! There you are.”

 

       “Sh—Shinoa,” he stammered, setting down his bowl of soup on the coffee table next to his water before turning off the TV. “What are you doing here?”

 

       “You mean,” another voice said. “What are we doing here?”

 

       Yūichirō held a hand to his forehead after watching the rest of his friends enter the living room. Mitsuba, Shinoa, Yoichi, and Shihō were all there.

 

       Mitsuba crossed her arms, continuing to speak. “Why don’t you look happy to see us?”

 

       “Yeah....” Yoichi sounded a little sad. “What’s wrong?”

 

       “Nothing!” Yūichirō responded, itching his cheek. “I’ve just been… uh....” He glanced at the kitchen. “Busy.”

 

       “Does it have to do with the—” Mitsuba started, but Shinoa cut her off.

 

       “You don’t seem too busy right now, though!” Shinoa plopped down on the couch next to him. “Let’s hang out! There’s this song I’ve been dying to show you.”

 

       Mitsuba and Shihō immediately groaned. As she pulled out her phone, he looked up at his friends who were getting situated around the room. “What is it? If it’s one of Mika’s songs, then I’d rather not....”

 

       She gave him a weird look. “It’s not, but don’t you love Mikaela-san’s music? Why would you say that?”

 

       He itched his head, trying to shove down the thoughts of said person whipping his ass until it bled just earlier. “I don’t know. I think I’m getting a different music taste. That’s all.”

 

       “But you still like Mikaela-san, right?”

 

       Yūichirō hesitated. He wanted the questions to stop, so he lied and said, “Yeah! Of course.” Then, he glanced at the kitchen once more, hoping Mikaela wasn’t there.

 

       “Anyway,” Shinoa went on awkwardly, tapping on her phone a few times. “Listen! It’s a great song.”

 

       Mitsuba scoffed. “It’s anything but a ‘great song.’”

 

       “Hey,” Yoichi said from Shihō’s lap as they sat on the single-seater couch next to Mitsuba. “It’s not that bad....”

 

       “Shinoa just keeps playing it over and over,” Shihō muttered with a grunt. “But I guess it’s alright....”

 

       “Of course you would agree with Yoichi,” Mitsuba was saying, but Shinoa started shushing everyone as she put up the volume on her phone.

 

       “I looked back at him and said, ‘what’s your problem, guy?’” Shinoa spoke precisely at the same time as whoever was speaking. “He said HEY, YOU THERE.” When the beat picked up a few moments later, Shinoa started pointing at their friends and singing, phone still in hand. Yūichirō smiled at the stupidity, although he had to admit the beginning lyrics were funny and the beat was fairly catchy.

 

       “This is really good,” Yūichirō commented when Shinoa calmed down with her arms, lowering the volume. “Why do you guys hate it so much?”

 

       Mitsuba shuddered. “You don’t understand what we’ve been through.”

 

       Before he could think about what she said, Shinoa leaned in close and showed him the lyrics that were playing on the screen. He read along, making a mental note to check it out later. He could guess what the name of the song was by the repetitive lines, anyway.

 

       Smiling, Yūichirō looked up at Shinoa to ask where she found the song, but he thought he saw something out of place in the corner of his eyes, so he glanced at the kitchen. Then he had a double take.

 

       Mikaela was peeking over the edge, making a signal as if telling Yūichirō to go over there. He squinted at the blond, wondering why he didn’t hide upstairs—oh. Right. Trust issues.

 

       He mouthed “what” to him, to which the blond replied to by making an even more aggressive signal. Yūichirō turned back to Shinoa when she had curiously looked up at him. He gave her an innocent smile. “Keep playing it. I’m gonna get some water.”

 

       When Shinoa glanced at the coffee table, he quickly corrected, “I mean put these away.”

 

       “Don’t encourage her to keep playing it!” Mitsuba told him as he hesitantly stood and picked up his bowl of soup. He didn’t even get to drink all of it.

 

       “Get us some water while you’re at it,” Shihō called. “We had to walk here because my car broke down. Speaking of cars—”

 

       The music grew louder and Yūichirō’s friends began to bicker, but he ignored them as his main focus was on finding out what Mikaela wanted. He entered the kitchen, limping only a little, and saw the blond leaning against the wall on the far side. As he set the bowl and glass of water on the center counter, Mikaela advanced towards him.

 

       Before he could stop to think, lips were on his own, and his eyes fluttered shut instinctively. Yūichirō tried to move back only to be stopped by Mikaela’s hand. He then hummed against Mikaela’s lips in confusion, trying to question what he was getting at. Surely he didn’t call him over to make out, right?

 

       The blond sucked on his bottom lip until it left his mouth. Yūichirō was about to use the chance to say something before Mikaela kissed him again, but he wasn’t fast enough. What would have been his first word died in his throat and formed into a moan when a hand gripped his ass tightly, irritating the nicks from the belt. Although it hurt, he could practically feel the possessiveness radiating off of the blond. The way he kissed him and held him close proved all of that.

 

       Some part of him liked it.

 

       Mikaela slightly tilted his head the other way, bumping past Yūichirō’s nose with his own. In the process, Yūichirō had to move apparently to where his back faced the center counter, because he was now pushed against it. It hurt a little as Mikaela went at his lips, forcing him backwards while the counter pressed into his lower back.

 

       He had no time to either breathe correctly or swallow. Mikaela’s tongue pushed past his mouth and Yūichirō just let him, unable to think for himself. He couldn’t both process the situation and kiss back at the same time. He was having a hard time keeping up with Mikaela, after all.

 

       After a few tongue-swirls and tilting heads, Yūichirō realized he had run out of breath entirely. He opened his mouth wider, his tongue giving up and saliva pooling out while Mikaela took the hint to pull away. He opened his eyes and gasped for breath, gripping Mikaela's arms. He also realized that the blond had both hands on his ass at some point, but he lifted one up to brush the hair out of Yūichirō’s face.

 

       He released him and continued to pant, studying Mikaela’s face. He looked both irritated and satisfied at the same time. Yūichirō didn’t think the irritation was directed at the fact he had to pull away, and instead at something else. Mikaela didn’t go back in, after all.

 

       “What…” Yūichirō whispered, still a bit out of breath. His quietness with Mikaela earlier was now completely forgotten. “What the hell was that for?”

 

       Mikaela met his eyes. “Because—” He paused, now studying Yūichirō’s face. He seemed to rethink his words, then, “Tell your friend to stop playing that song.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed and pushed him away. “You called me out here to kiss me and say that?”

 

       The blond blinked. “Wait, no. I meant kick them out. You’re not seriously going to let them stay, are you?”

 

       “Of course not,” Yūichirō replied with a cross of his arms, saliva still at his chin. When he realized that, he embarrassedly turned away from Mikaela and wiped it off. “I was just seeing what Shinoa was talking about.”

 

       “Then hurry up with it.”

 

       “Don’t be so bossy,” Yūichirō snapped, not bothering to look at Mikaela as he forgot the drinks and left the kitchen. When his friends were in view, he smiled and waved at them. “Hey, guys!” he said, pretending nothing happened while he was there. “We’re out of water.”

 

       “How are you out of water,” Mitsuba stated rather than asked, squinting at him. “Don’t you have the fridge thing?”

 

       “No.” Yūichirō then faked a cough. “And… you know, I don’t feel so well. Maybe you all could come back another day and—”

 

       Shihō interrupted. “We walked all the way over here. You’re not kicking us out.”

 

       “I....” But my ass hurts, my soup’s gonna get cold, the movie is almost over, and Mika’s being a bitch. “I, uh... I don’t know. I’m sorry, guys. Maybe some other time.”

 

       Yoichi looked hurt, Shihō looked pissed, and Mitsuba looked like she was pretending not to care. Shinoa, meanwhile, kept smiling. “Oh, okay, Yū-san! Whatever you say. I guess we’ll leave you be.... C’mon, guys. Chop, chop!”

 

       She hurried them out of the living room without giving Yūichirō a single look. Huh. That was… surprisingly easy. He followed them to the front door, then waved them off, feeling suspicious. Shinoa was on his side for once! Was that… a good thing? Was she going to make him pay her back somehow…?

 

       Yūichirō shook his head before locking and closing the door. Whoever knows what Shinoa’s thinking?

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela cooed from behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Thank you.”

 

       “What…” he mumbled, confused. “I didn’t even do anything....”

 

       Mikaela’s voice was close to his ear. “You kicked them out for me, even after you preach about how much you care about your friends.”

 

       “I didn’t do anything for you,” he continued to say quietly, some part of him lacking the desire to speak to him. “I just didn’t want them bothering me....”

 

       “Sure.” Mikaela turned him around. “Whatever the reason, you still kicked them out. I appreciate that.”

 

       Whatever, Yūichirō thought, tilting his head up as Mikaela leaned in closer. He expected a few more pecks before he could be left alone, but when their lips touched, it was electrifying.

 

       Mikaela, who seemed to feel the same thing, moved away. They both stared at each other for a hot moment, though in the next second, they were at it like animals.

 

       “Ow—mm,” Yūichirō moaned after his back had hit the wall opposite of the door, wrists pinned. Mikaela’s lips were on his already, biting ruthlessly. He could even hear the blond practically growl as he opened his mouth, tongue sticking out and prodding Yūichirō’s lips. He had no idea what that was about, but since Mikaela’s mouth was opened, he opened his, too.

 

       Then he felt Mikaela’s tongue slip inside, and he now understood. Yūichirō’s back arched from the door, his tongue already dominated by Mikaela’s.

 

       Why is this so good? he wondered to himself, his eyes shut closed. As Mikaela’s tongue began to swirl around his, one of his wrists was unpinned. Immediately, his hand went to Mikaela’s hair, squeezing the blond strands between his fingers. He forced Mikaela’s head towards himself so that his tongue would go in further, though their lips interrupted the movement.

 

       Fuck, he thought, pressing his head against the wall when Mikaela’s tongue retreated, bringing his mouth to a close. Yūichirō did the same, lifting up his leg when Mikaela’s free hand had reached down to pick it up. He held it to Mikaela’s hip, then moaned when he felt Mikaela’s hard cock press against his through their pants.

 

       Mikaela pulled away after he sucked on his bottom lip. “You still taste like soup,” he joked, pecking his lips as Yūichirō took in a few deep breaths.

 

       “And you don’t taste like a cigarette for once,” he retorted back, though he smiled. “Idiot.”

 

       “You’re enjoying this, huh?”

 

       “So are you.” Yūichirō pressed his hips forwards for emphasis. This… actually might go somewhere.

 

       Before they could continue, another voice interrupted them. “Oh, my god.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened at the sound of Shinoa. He looked over Mikaela’s shoulder at her, noticing the same house keys she had probably used to get in the first time stuck in the now-opened door.

 

       “Oh. My. G—”

 

       “Shinoa,” Yūichirō immediately said when Mikaela moved away from him, his foot now on the ground. “It’s not what you think—”

 

       “It… it totally is....” She pointed at the blond standing next to him. “That’s Mikaela-fucking-Shindō. And you—you’re making out with him.”

 

       “No! We were… um....” He glanced at Mikaela for help, but the blond just shrugged once their gazes met. Shouldn’t he care more about this? he thought angrily, bothered by Mikaela’s lack of emotion.

 

       Shinoa pulled out the keys and shut the door behind her. “Whatever you two were doing,” she said, her burgundy eyes still wide. “He’s… in your house. Oh shit. Oh shit.”

 

       “I can explain everything,” Yūichirō said, taking a step forwards. Then he winced at the pain, Shinoa and Mikaela staring at him all the while.

 

       “Don’t fucking tell me.”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō quickly said before she could jump to conclusions. “No… no. I swear. No.”

 

       “Almost,” Mikaela put in, earning a glare from Yūichirō. “But I’m not gay.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

 

       “Yeah?” Mikaela and Yūichirō now faced each other. “And you keep thinking I actually like you if it helps you sleep at night.”

 

       “Here you go again,” Yūichirō said with a roll of his eyes, crossing his arms. “Pretending like the two-faced piece of shit you are. I can’t believe I let you kiss me like that.”

 

       “And I can’t believe I almost got off on whipping your ass.”

 

       “Shut u—wait, what.”

 

       “You heard me.” Mikaela turned away. “Or are you deaf? It would explain why you’re so loud all the damn time.”

 

       “I—”

 

       “There is some serious chemistry between you two.” When Yūichirō looked at her, she was still looking confused and curious, yet thrilled all at the same time. “Holy crap. What happened? What have I missed?

 

       “That’s none of your business,” Mikaela snapped, turning towards her. He started to walk up, but Yūichirō grabbed his hand before he could go any further.

 

       “Shut up, Mika. You’re not being helpful.” Yūichirō was glad he didn’t try to pull away from him. Mikaela simply stopped, staring Shinoa down. “Shinoa, you can’t tell anyone about this,” he then said. “Please.”

 

       He ignored Mikaela’s glance at him and instead focused on maintaining eye-contact with his lilac-haired friend.

 

       She rose a hand over her mouth, then, muffled, she murmured, “Are you two… going out?”

 

       “No!” both Mikaela and Yūichirō said at the same time, making her jump in surprise. “No,” Yūichirō said again. “With him? I’d rather choke and die.”

 

       “Choke on my cock, you mean.” Mikaela glared at him. “Then again, you’d do that regardless.”

 

       “Why are you talking so much shit right now, Mika? Just shut up. You’re not making this easy!”

 

       “Oh my god.” Shinoa turned around and made a start towards the door. “I can’t believe this right now.”

 

       Yūichirō quickly went up to her to grab her arm, ignoring the pain in his ass. “No… don’t leave… not until you promise you won’t tell anyone. My parents can’t know, and you know what’ll happen if people hear about Mika being with someone.”

 

       “But… but our friends—” Shinoa, who had turned around, paused. “You’ve been lying to us!” She snatched her arm away. “And you know… you’ve been acting different, too. Does Mikaela-san really mean more to you than we do? I mean, I know you had a crush on him, but....”

 

       He shook his head. “It’s not like that.... I’ve just been stressed out! A lot has happened.”

 

       “Clearly.” Shinoa then sighed. “I feel like I should be happy for you.” She glanced at Mikaela before leaning in close to whisper in Yūichirō’s ear. “But what’s wrong with him? He looks and almost sounds like Mikaela-san....”

 

       But what he’s saying is something the Mikaela we all thought we knew wouldn’t. Yūichirō took in a deep breath. “It’s okay,” he said, moving away from her and raising his voice. “He’s just stressed out, too. They said he was stuck here because of his flight, right?”

 

       Shinoa shook her head. “They didn’t say he was stuck here....”

 

       “I think we should keep her here,” Mikaela randomly cut in, sounding closer. “What if she tells?”

 

       Yūichirō looked at him. “What? What could she say?” It’s not like she knows you smoke and are an incredible piece of shit. He hoped the look he gave Mikaela said that.

 

       He seemed to have gotten the message. “I mean,” Mikaela went on. “What if she tells people where I’m at right now? Your house will never be left alone.”

 

       “Oh, no,” Shinoa said, sounding confused. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to Yū-san. There’s actually not a lot of fangirls here, either. Everyone who flew over here for your concert are long gone. Besides, Guren would kill me! Well, he’d tell Mahiru, and then she’d kill me. Okay, no. They’d both kill me. Twice.”

 

       “See?” Yūichirō said to Mikaela reassuringly. “She won’t tell anyone.”

 

       Mikaela only glared her down.

 

       “What about the others?” Yūichirō asked, glancing out through the door’s glass windows.

 

       “They’re waiting for me—oh, crap. They’re waiting for me. Yū-san, we’ll talk about this later. Text me.”

 

       “But,” he started as she turned around to open the door. “I don’t have a phone.”

 

       Shinoa shook her head. “Then call me from Shinya’s phone. I gotta go. I promise I won’t tell. You can trust me, Yū-san.... You, too, Mikaela-san.”

 

       With that, she was out the door.

 

       “So…” Yūichirō started slowly, turning to look at the blond. “That happened.”

 

       Suddenly, Mikaela was grabbing the top of his shirt, pulling him close. Not to kiss, though. “And why were they here?” he asked. “You didn’t tell me they’d be coming over. If I had known, I would’ve moved my car. That’s probably why she came back here. Don’t tell me you planned this.”

 

       “I didn’t know,” Yūichirō defended himself. He rose his hands to pry Mikaela’s fingers off, but the blond already released him. “I swear I didn’t know. Can’t you tell they came up uninvited?”

 

       Mikaela started walking off up the stairs. “Tch. It’s like I can’t ever appreciate you for once, because you go off and ruin how I think about you.”

 

       Yūichirō followed behind. “It’s the same with you!” he argued back, glaring at the back of Mikaela’s head, struggling to go up the steps. “You’re always pissing me off, Mika—”

 

       “And you’re not pissing me off?” Mikaela spun around at the final step. “It’s so hard to get along with you. I can’t stand you sometimes, Yū.”

 

       “I can’t stand you either!” Yūichirō stopped where he was, taking a deep breath.

 

       Mikaela scoffed at him. “You’re such a bitch.”

 

       “And you’re such a stupid moron idiot!”

 

       “I’m pretty sure that’s redundant.”

 

       “Shut your dumb mouth, Mika! Stop talking!” Yūichirō turned around. “I don’t even know why I’m following you. I hate you and I think you’re dumb.”

 

       After he made his first step down, he felt Mikaela’s hand on his shoulder. He sighed, ready to argue. It was like the millionth time he was being stopped.

 

       Mikaela turned him to the side and pushed him against the wall. “Stop fucking saying you hate me.”

 

       “But I do,” Yūichirō said, wincing. “I hate—” He paused, suddenly finding himself unable to finish that sentence with Mikaela close to his face, staring at him with those pretty blue eyes of his.

 

       Mika, he thought, his gaze softening. I bet you’ve been through a lot just like me.... It’s hard to remember the fact that you’re a human being with actual feelings, though.

 

       He looked off to the side, leaving his sentence unfinished.

 

       “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Mikaela said, moving away. He looked like he was going to continue, but Yūichirō spoke first.

 

       “Maybe if you stopped pretending to be such a hard-ass all the time, I wouldn’t feel that way.”

 

       “Oh, so you’re saying you liked me better when I was faking a smile and singing along to music for selfish, shitty fans like you?” Mikaela looked away. “In the end, none of you would have ever liked me for who I am. I’m sick of pretending, yet if I don’t....” Mikaela turned back towards him. “Everyone will react the same way you do.”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms. “So? Why do you care what they think? And are you saying I’m just like everyone else?”

 

       “No, Yū. I think you’re the only one who would shove my cock all the way down your throat even after I brought you to suicide. And I don’t care, but it would ruin my life if everyone knew how I really was.”

 

       “Fuck it,” Yūichirō said with a shrug. “Maybe they’ll understand. If they don’t, then who cares? You have enough money to get by and live your life alone until you die the same way: alone.”

 

       Mikaela glared at him. “I won’t be alone if I take you with me.”

 

       “Well.” Yūichirō uncrossed his arms. “You could try. But I’m sure Guren would put up a good fight.”

 

       “Oh, really? So what would he say if I took you right now?” Mikaela glanced off to the side. “Guren, father, are you there? I’m about to kidnap your son!”

 

       Yūichirō shoved him. “Shut up, Mika. You know what I mean.”

 

       “Okay, what about you?” Mikaela asked once he regained his balance on the steps. He then sat down on one of them. “What struggles are you currently dealing with?”

 

       “You.”

 

       “I’m being serious, Yū.” Mikaela pat the spot next to him, and Yūichirō moved down a couple steps to sit down, away from him. He winced at the pain, then brought his legs up and leaned against the wall behind him. I guess he's not angry anymore. Is he sure he doesn't need my pills?

 

       “Yeah,” he said after a moment. “Me, too. You’re my worst struggle right now.”

 

       “So your life has been perfect before I showed up?”

 

       “Exactly.”

 

       “Fine,” Mikaela then said, shuffling around. “Then tell me about your past.”

 

       Yūichirō shut his eyes. “No,” he responded certainly. “I’m never going to tell you, Mika.”

 

       “What do I have to do for you to spill?”

 

       “There’s nothing you can do,” he replied. “Nothing could change my mind.”

 

       Mikaela went quiet for a moment. “I really want to know, Yū....”

 

       “Well, too bad!” Yūichirō glared at him. “Maybe if you weren’t such a dick, you would have known by now.”

 

       “I don’t think you would have told me regardless,” Mikaela said. “It must be something you’re very self-conscious about. You never want to bring it up again, do you?”

 

       “I don’t.”

 

       “Does it have something to do with your masochism?” Mikaela asked. “Something in your childhood caused you to be this way?”

 

       “No, and stop guessing.”

 

       “You were adopted, obviously. Were you ever with your birth parents, or did you spend your time in a foster home?”

 

       Yūichirō flinched at the words birth parents. He looked away hesitantly, feeling his memories spark up.

 

       “Birth parents,” Mikaela stated, reading his obvious body language. “That’s what it is. You had a problem with them.”

 

       “Enough.”

 

       To his surprise, Mikaela stopped. “I understand, Yū. I’ll stop asking for now, but it’s not good to keep holding it in. If you let it out, maybe it won’t bother you as much—”

 

       Yūichirō got up and walked up the stairs to pass him, interrupting the blond. “Shut up. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that?” He balled up his fists and turned around to face Mikaela when he made it up the last step. “Just because it’s coming from you doesn’t make it any different. It’s just a lie. I won’t feel better from talking about it, and I know that for a fact.”

 

       “Yū....” Mikaela started walking towards him after getting up. “You can’t say that when you’ve never told anyone about it. I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

 

       “Get away from me,” Yūichirō muttered, watching him through narrowed eyes. “Don’t act like you can make all the difference in the world.”

 

       Mikaela gave him a pitiful look. As he saw Mikaela reach for him, his first reaction was to shove him away, which is what he did.

 

       But they were on the stairs, after all.

Chapter Text

It all seemed to happen too quickly. One second, Mikaela was tipping backwards, and the next, Yūichirō was on his back with the blond on top of him. Somehow and luckily, they had grabbed onto each other in time, and instead of falling off the stairs, they fell back to the carpet thanks to Mikaela's grip on the rail.

 

       “What the fuck, Yū?” Mikaela cursed after he propped himself up with his hands on either side of him. His knees were that way, too, straddling Yūichirō’s hips. “Why would you do that?”

 

       “I-I didn’t mean to,” he stammered in response, eyes wide at the realization that he could have sent Mikaela to the hospital or something. It was a long fall.

 

       Mikaela stared at him for a long moment. “All because you don’t want to tell me what happened,” he pointed out, sounding sour.

 

       “It was an accident....” Yūichirō looked away guiltily. “I didn’t think you were gonna fall.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed and sat up. “What happened to you that you’re so desperate to keep secret?”

 

       “It’s not that I want to keep it a secret,” Yūichirō mumbled. He tried squirming underneath Mikaela, hoping the blond would take the hint to get off of him completely. “I just don’t feel like telling you.”

 

       Mikaela didn't say anything and instead did what Yūichirō was hoping for: he got off of him, though he didn't get up from the floor. Yūichirō sat up and rubbed at his head where he had hit it, looking at Mikaela all the while. They weren't facing each other.

 

       He's not really upset, he thought, brows furrowing. He can't actually be sad that I won't tell him something personal. He doesn't care about me.

 

       Yūichirō wanted to sigh. It was true. Mikaela—

 

       “I almost killed someone,” Mikaela said suddenly.

 

       “What.

 

       “You heard me,” he went on, turning to face him. “Like how you just did with me, I nearly killed a man.”

 

       "You mean a boy, then." He blinked several times. “Wait... are you being serious, or are you just messing with me?”

 

       “I'm serious.”

 

       He didn't know if he should trust him on that or not. Mikaela certainly looked serious. “...Well,” Yūichirō hesitantly started, “why are you telling me that?”

 

       “I was fourteen, almost two years after I ran away from home.” Mikaela looked away. “I was on the streets for the entirety of that time, and I already figured out how the people in that area worked.”

 

       He's definitely serious, Yūichirō thought, watching the blond and paying attention as he spoke.

 

       “It felt like I was a cat, begging for every scrap of food with a front so that people didn't turn me away. After all, who would even want to look at a dirty, scrawny little kid who had a mean look all the time?” He paused, glancing down at his lap. “I always kept a smile on my face so I could survive. I withstood so many things just to live my pathetic life a little longer.”

 

       Your life isn't pathetic now, Yūichirō thought, though he didn't want to say it and interrupt him. He didn't want to say it, period. Then he nearly winced at the thought, feeling like an asshole. Now he really wanted to tell Mikaela his life wasn’t ever pathetic. “Mika—”

 

       “So, I guess after two years of that shit, I snapped. I tried so hard all the time and some fuck mistreated me when I didn't have anything to eat for several days.” Mikaela's hands balled to fists before he chuckled bitterly. “I remember this like it was yesterday.”

 

       Yūichirō inched towards the blond, about to tell him he didn't have to continue with the story, but he was once again interrupted.

 

       “I was traveling so far after my parents found me, and I guess because I looked so tired, not even the brightest smile could have made people look at me. Kind of ironic now, huh? It's like no one can take their eyes off of me these days.

 

       “Anyway, I took out all of my frustrations from the struggles of the past year on him. I couldn't take the ignorance and selfishness anymore, so I beat him until he was nearing death. I know it's horrible, and you might look at me differently for saying this, but it felt amazing at the time. It was like everyone who was awful to me was getting what they deserved.

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela then said, looking at him. Yūichirō flinched away in response, moving back. “I understand that you’ll keep your past to yourself, but what I don't understand is why. Whatever happened, there's no reason for you to want to keep it all in. Do you see how easy it was for me to tell you that, even though it's like I don't trust you?

 

       “I… I want to know more about you,” Mikaela seemed to hesitantly say, glancing down. “Just because there's so much I don't know yet. And if that means I have to tell you anything about myself, I'll do it. I'm very curious about your life, Yū.”

 

       Yūichirō stayed quiet, still processing Mikaela's story. He thought it over before asking, “How did he survive?”

 

       Mikaela smiled sadly at him. “I'm not heartless, Yū. I was only a teenager. I asked around for an ambulance because I felt terrible right after.”

 

       This sort of explains his sadism? Yūichirō thought with a shiver, half of him unbelieving that Mikaela would do something like that with the intent to kill. It probably wasn't as bad as Yūichirō thought, and it was several years ago, but there was definitely something wrong with the picture he was painting in his head.

 

       Then, during an awkward silence, Yūichirō thought about the last thing Mikaela said. It was good that he felt terrible, but it didn’t sound like he regretted what happened at all. He probably didn’t even care anymore, and that was why it was easy for him to tell Yūichirō. Then again, he was sure Mikaela couldn’t have told that story to anyone else, otherwise it would have gone public... unless they were close to him. Mikaela didn't seem to have real friends, though.

 

       Nothing was really adding up. Why would Mikaela tell him all of that when they lacked trust between each other? Hell, the blond always followed Yūichirō around in case he told someone about the other side of him, which wasn’t that big of a deal compared to this.

 

       “I-I need some time,” Yūichirō finally said, looking up. “To think about th—”

 

       “No, I get it.” Mikaela stood up. “Take all the time you need to wonder if I’m a serial killer or not.”

 

       “That’s not what I meant…” he told him, but Mikaela was already walking away. “Wait, Mika, seriously.” Yūichirō got up, too, and managed to catch the blond by the wrist before he went any further. “I just don’t know why you would tell me something like that.”

 

       Mikaela snatched his wrist away. “I already told you why.”

 

       “But it doesn’t make sense!” he said loudly as Mikaela continued to walk away towards the closet. “You don’t even like me, Mika. You can’t wait to leave and we’ll never see each other again.” Yūichirō’s voice cracked, making him wince. At least it got Mikaela to pause at the door and look at him.

 

       “So,” he continued, “what’s the point in telling me another secret you don’t know if I’ll keep or not? It’s not like you care about me enough to want to know what happened in my past. And I doubt curiosity would have brought you to tell me all of that....”

 

       “I—” Mikaela stopped himself, and there was a long pause. Yūichirō blinked several times, about to say something until he continued, “I do....”

 

       “You do? You do, what?” Yūichirō thought back on what he said. “You mean, ‘it did’?”

 

       Mikaela shook his head.

 

       Yūichirō waited patiently for him to say something, but he kept quiet, staring at the closet door in front of him.

 

       Did he mean… he cares… about me? Yūichirō mentally shook his head and doubtfully smiled. No.

 

       “Mika,” Yūichirō went on, closing the distance between them. “I don’t get what you mean by that,” he lied, wondering if Mikaela would clarify without him having to guess and look like an idiot for believing such a thing.

 

       “I know you’re not that dense, Yū,” Mikaela snapped, turning to him. “I care about you.”

 

       Yūichirō stopped, a little surprised into stepping back. “No, you don’t. You’re just saying that so I’ll tell.”

 

       “You don’t honestly believe that.”

 

       “There’s no reason for you to care about me,” Yūichirō shrugged, glancing away. “Why would anyone care about me, especially you?”

 

       “What do you mean? There’s a lot of reasons why someone would care about you.”

 

       “Pfft.” Yūichirō turned away. “Sure there are.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “What’s wrong with you? That was hard for me to say, you know.”

 

       “Yeah,” he sarcastically said. “I’m sure it was very hard for you to say five words that don’t mean anything because it’s not true.”

 

       A second passed.

 

       “Did you just count the syllables in ‘about’ as words.”

 

       “Whatever, Mika!” Yūichirō snapped once he recounted how many words there were in “I care about you.” He crossed his arms after using his fingers to count. “All I’m saying is: nothing adds up.”

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “What, the situation, that math, or the fact that you skipped five grades in school?”

 

       “This isn’t funny, Mika.” Yūichirō turned around to face him after killing his smile. “Don’t say something that’s not true. The four words,” he added before Mikaela could make another snide at him. “We make it very obvious that we hate each other.”

 

       “Do we?” Mikaela asked, walking up to him and closing the distance. “Because, last time I checked, people who hate each other don’t willingly make out or make them soup or put bandaids on their ass.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes and kept looking off to the side. “And people who like each other don’t beat them to the point of needing bandaids or hide their pills so that they try to commit suicide.”

 

       “You think I’ve always liked you?” Mikaela asked rhetorically. “That wasn’t my goal, but I’m sorry. I’ve been around you longer since then, so I....”

 

       “Like me now?” Yūichirō finished for him, gazing back to the blond whose eyes were directed at the ground.

 

       “Yeah. That.”

 

       “If you can’t even say it, then it’s not true—”

 

       “Besides,” Mikaela started, speaking over him after meeting his gaze. “Couples who are together do stuff like what I did to your ass. It’s a form of trust.”

 

       “Are you saying that we skipped about two stages in our relationship?”

 

       Mikaela blinked. “Other than becoming a couple, what’s the second stage?”

 

       “No, that’s the second stage.” Yūichirō turned away. “The first stage is liking each other.”

 

       “Honestly, Yū.”

 

       “Seriously.”

 

       Mikaela sighed and shuffled behind Yūichirō. He glanced back at the blond to see that he had sat down to the carpet again. “Why won’t you believe me?”

 

       “How could I? After everything that happened?”

 

       “Would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?”

 

       “That doesn’t prove you care about me,” Yūichirō argued, sitting down and crisscrossing his legs on the floor in front of him. “Maybe you just want to practice or something.”

 

       Mikaela glared at him. “I think it’s obvious that I don’t need practice.”

 

       “Whatever you say.”

 

       “Oh, right,” Mikaela then added, leaning back and using his hands as support. “Not like you would know what a good kiss feels like.”

 

       “You’re right,” Yūichirō agreed. “Because I’ve never gotten one.” When Mikaela didn’t even smile, Yūichirō sighed. “Come on, Mika. You set yourself up for that.”

 

       “I let you suck my cock. That’s an honor.”

 

       “Now you’re being dumb.”

 

       “I’m nice to you sometimes....”

 

       “Yeah, sometimes. Most times, you’re just a dick. You could never be nice to me for an entire week.”

 

       “Yes, I could.”

 

       “No, you can’t. Speaking of being nice, what happened to ‘I’m done with taking your bullshit, I have a life of my own, and things need to get serious again’? I don’t see anything changing since then.”

 

       Mikaela leaned forwards, bringing his hands between him. “If anything, that proves how much I care about you.... Enough to forget about how I should be living my own life and pretending you don’t exist.”

 

       The quiet and gentle tone coming from Mikaela was still unsettling. Yūichirō was unable to look at the seemingly-depressed blond. “Well… thanks, I guess.... For saying those four words.”

 

       “But I should prove it, right? Words don’t mean everything.” Mikaela moved closer, catching Yūichirō’s attention. “What could I do for you, Yū? What would make you believe that I care about you?”

 

       Yūichirō met his eyes while he spoke. He could practically see the desperation in them. Wow, he thought, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. It’s like he’s reforming. “Well, I....” Yūichirō tried not to look away. “I-I guess there’s one thing you could do for me.”

 

       “What is it?”

 

       It’s not really taking advantage of him. He asked, anyway. And this will benefit him more than me, plus it would prove a lot. But… maybe he doesn’t care about me that much. Yūichirō mentally shook his head. Damn it. This is dumb. I shouldn’t have said anything.

 

       But, of course, Mikaela pressured him. “What were you going to say, Yū? I’ll do anything.”

 

       “I....” He looked off to the side. “I was going to say… I don’t know… quit smoking for me....” When Mikaela leaned back silently, Yūichirō was quick to defend himself. “I know, it’s stupid and it’s a big, serious thing and you don’t even like me enough to—”

 

       He paused when Mikaela had slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He stared at it for a moment before looking at Yūichirō and extending it over to him.

 

       “R-really?” Yūichirō stuttered out, unbelieving.

 

       “Take it.”

 

       Hesitantly, his hand met Mikaela’s, and he looked at the blond before tugging it out. Mikaela was holding on a little too tight, but Yūichirō managed. “Are you sure, Mika…?”

 

       “If it’ll get you to believe me....”

 

       Wow, Yūichirō thought, staring at the pack in his hands. He can’t be serious.

 

       “Although,” Mikaela then said after a moment. Here it is. “It would be nice to have one more before we start with that. I haven’t smoked one in an entire day.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He pulled one out and tossed it at the blond. “I guess it’s not good to quit right away, anyway. But you only get to smoke that for thirty seconds, and if you do, I’m not gonna let you kiss me for the rest of today.”

 

       Mikaela immediately handed it back. “Never mind, then.”

 

       He forced down his smile. “You really like kissing me, huh…?”

 

       “Even though you’re awful at it.”

 

       The smile didn’t need to be forced down as all happiness faded quickly. Yūichirō snatched the stick and shoved it back inside before saying, “Fuck you.”

 

       Mikaela only looked confused. “Do you hate it when I make fun of the way you kiss?”

 

       Yūichirō managed to shove the pack into his pockets while sitting down. “Stop trying to embarrass me. It’s getting old.”

 

       “I’m only kidding.... You’re definitely not the worst anymore.”

 

       Yūichirō honestly felt insulted. “God, whatever, Mika. I don’t care. I was even about to tell you a little bit of my past because of how nice you were, but not anymore, I guess.”

 

       “Wait,” Mikaela quickly said before he could get up. “I’m sorry. Tell me, please. I won’t make fun of you about it. I didn’t realize it actually bothered you.”

 

       “Too late.”

 

       “Yū…” he mumbled sadly as they both got up. Yūichirō ignored him and started cautiously going down the steps.

 

       “I guess this is another thing that’ll stop me from kissing you,” he stubbornly told the blond who was following right behind him. “No more kisses until I’m not mad at you anymore.”

 

       Mikaela’s steps seemed rushed, and as Yūichirō realized that, he turned around and stepped to the side. Being on the main floor already, he had enough space to dodge Mikaela when the blond tried to attack him with a hug. “What are you—”

 

       “Please don’t do this to me, Yū,” Mikaela quickly said, turning to face him before grabbing his hands. “You can’t take two addictions from me at once.”

 

       Yūichirō glanced at his own hands Mikaela was squeezing. “Um, yes, I can. And, what, you have an addiction to kissing?”

 

       He shook his head. “I have an addiction to kissing you.”

 

       “Tch.” Yūichirō pulled his hands away with enough force to cause the blond to jerk forwards. Then, he walked away to the living room, planning on finishing his movie. Although he did add, “But like you said, I’m a horrible kisser.”

 

       “I never said it like that,” Mikaela denied, still following him. “And no offense, of course you’re not exactly the best, but I love your lips and I love holding your ass and the cute moans you make as if it’s one of the best kisses of your life.”

 

       Yūichirō scowled.

 

       “And the way you sucked my cock that one time,” Mikaela said almost dreamily, and Yūichirō turned around to see the blond still standing at the arch, staring at nothing. “No one’s ever done it like that before. I bet they’re just too scared they’ll throw up and look gross or something. But you....” When their eyes met, Yūichirō hurriedly looked away. “You were amazing. At least, your mouth was.”

 

       “Shut up, Mika.” He rubbed his burning cheeks. The images of Mikaela’s crotch so close to his face and the hand in his hair and the cock in his mouth

 

       Yūichirō covered his mouth with a hand, eyes widening as he could almost taste Mikaela’s cum.

 

       I can’t believe I did that. I sucked Mikaela Shindō’s dick. I mean. Cock. He really fucked my mouth, too. We pretty much fucked.

 

       “I love, love, love your masochism,” Mikaela unnecessarily went on, and Yūichirō covered his ears. He didn’t want to hear it. Sort of. He could still hear him. “I’ve never met someone who can take the stuff you have so far. I mean, there’s always that bitch who wants to be choked, but whipping their ass until it bleeds? Oh, fuck. Only with you.”

 

       “Shut up!” Yūichirō dropped his hands before moving to the couch. “You’re just saying that so I’ll forgive you. Shut up, Mika. I don’t care.”

 

       Mikaela hurriedly followed him. When Yūichirō realized that, he grabbed the remote and went to the single-seater couch instead. Still, the blond followed. So he changed courses and went around the couch.

 

       “Oh, my god, Mika. Get away from me!”

 

       “Never,” the other male responded, and thus began their chase around the living room.

 

       He tried his best to weave around the couches and dodge Mikaela to the best of his ability. Luckily, he was used to being chased by Shinoa in his own home, so it wasn’t as hard. Eventually, they had somehow made it to the kitchen, heaving for breath on either side of the center counter.

 

       “Give up,” Yūichirō said with a smirk, setting down the remote. “It’s over, Mika.”

 

       “I just want to kiss you.”

 

       “And I just want to watch my movie.”

 

       More pants. Then, “There’s no reason you can’t do both.”

 

       “Well, you don’t deserve my horrible kisses, Mika!” Yūichirō grabbed the remote and eyed Mikaela down before leaving the room. “Sucks to be you. Maybe if you weren’t so conceited, you wouldn’t have said those words to me, and then we would be making out in my room.”

 

       Feeling a little devilish, he added, “Tongue and everything. I’d let you smack my ass, too. I know how much you like that. Then I’ll moan nonstop while my lips are all yours.” Yūichirō turned around to see that Mikaela had been sneaking up on him. “Ooo, I bet you’re so regretting your stupid words now, huh? Bet you’re wishing you weren’t a narcissist.”

 

       Mikaela’s hunter stance went back to something normal, and he looked away bitterly.

 

       “Mmh,” Yūichirō forced, pressing his lips together. It caught Mikaela’s attention immediately. “Mm, Mm-ka....” He covered his mouth with a hand. “Mmm—mm....”

 

       “You’re messed up,” Mikaela said with a sigh. “But you know that if I wanted it, you would have no choice but to kiss me?”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed, lowering his hand. “Ha! You could chain me up to the point where I couldn’t even move a finger and you still wouldn’t get a kiss. You can’t force me to move my mouth, after all.”

 

       “But I could make you want it,” Mikaela argued. “I could restrain you and begin to please you only to stop right before you come. If I tell you that to get it back you’d have to kiss me, then do you think you'd still hold back?”

 

       “Well, I wouldn’t know, now would I? It’s not like it’s happened before.”

 

       “Hm. Sounds like an invitation.”

 

       As soon as Mikaela made a move, Yūichirō started sprinting away, tossing the remote on the couch while exiting the living room. Mikaela followed right behind him as they both went up the steps.

 

       Shit, he thought in a panic, nearly tripping as he went up. I won’t be able to close my room door in time with how close he is.

 

       Both of them were now up the stairs, and as Yūichirō dashed towards his room, he believed that maybe, just maybe, there was a god.

 

       Until Mikaela had gripped the back of his shirt, jerking him backwards before he could reach the door.

 

       He immediately gave in. “No! Wait, Mika, I take it back! Please. I’ll kiss you. Don’t do anything to me. My ass is still healing.”

 

       Mikaela wrapped his arms around Yūichirō’s waist, pulling him close. “You seemed pretty fine running around just now,” he muttered close to his ear. “I believe you’re all healed up now.”

 

       “No....” Yūichirō turned so that they faced each other. In the process, Mikaela’s hands lowered to his hips. “E-even if you chain me up, I’ll kiss you, anyway. You would be wasting your time.”

 

       “Then kiss me now.”

 

       He hesitated. He could try struggling out as soon as Mikaela gets distracted in their kiss. His reaction time would be hindered by it, after all. Or, he could avoid kissing Mikaela altogether if he spilled about his childhood.

 

       In all honesty, both were shitty options. He hated giving Mikaela what he wanted.

 

       “Come on, Yū,” Mikaela pressured, licking his lips. “Make the first move.”

 

       Fucking dipshit, he thought, feeling powerless with his hands stuck between himself and Mikaela’s chest. Well, he either really wants to make out or chain me up and do whatever he wants to me. Yūichirō hesitantly and slowly leaned in, closing his eyes and buying more time. He’s definitely not getting the power to use me however he wants.

 

       He blinked open his eyes to see Mikaela with his own shut, head tilted and moving in. Yūichirō’s senses suddenly and figuratively whacked him on the head, and he pushed away from Mikaela before quickly saying, “My birth parents abused me.”

 

       Mikaela stared at him. “Wh—”

 

       “N-not physically. Mentally. They said horrible things about my bipolar disorder and threatened to kill me whenever I did something bad, but they never came close to me. They neglected me and sometimes never fed or took care of me.”

 

       “What? Slow down, Yū. For how long?”

 

       “Until Guren and Shinya adopted me, which was hardly three years ago.”

 

       “What?

 

       Yūichirō itched his cheek, the horrible sinking feeling in his stomach making itself present. He should be questioning why he just told Mikaela all of that.

 

       Ignoring the sweat that was starting to form and his heartbeat picking up, he continued. “S-self-harming… was kind of natural to me, I guess?” He now avoided Mikaela’s direction completely. “I don’t remember exactly when or how, but I know I’ve been doing it for a really long time....”

 

       “Been doing it?” Mikaela repeated, sounding closer. “But you stopped, right?”

 

       “O-of course,” Yūichirō stammered. “If I continued, obviously you would have seen them by now, or something....” When Mikaela grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, he panicked and said more believingly, “I swear, Mika. You’re always following me around, so I never had the chance.”

 

       “You’re saying that if I hadn’t, you would be cut up.”

 

       “No!”

 

       Mikaela only skeptically glared at him. “Finish the story.”

 

       “Th-that’s it.... Nothing else to tell.”

 

       “Finish the story.

 

       Yūichirō shut his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to remember. “I....”

 

       “No,” Mikaela said, brushing Yūichirō’s hair behind his ear. “Look at me, Yū.”

 

       He hesitantly opened them after a moment. Mikaela’s soft, nearly cold hand on his heated face calmed him down only a little, but the gentle yet hard look in his eyes was a bit unsettling. He didn’t entirely know how Mikaela was feeling.

 

       “It’s okay,” the blond said, now moving up his other hand to hold both of his cheeks. He pressed together a bit, squishing his face. Yūichirō then grabbed Mikaela’s wrist to get him to stop. “Don’t think about it. Just tell me.”

 

       “N’wo,” he mumbled, then hummed another no, shaking his head. “Nwo more.”

 

       “I know there’s more to the story, Yū.”

 

       Mikaela finally released his face, and Yūichirō could breathe a little easier. Then, after a moment, he reluctantly forced out, “Haven’t I told you enough…?”

 

       In all honesty, he wasn’t feeling all that bad. He thought it would be a lot worse than it was. Apart from the racing heartbeat, the feeling in his chest and stomach, and the sweaty, shaky hands, he was feeling fine—if that counted. It was surprising since every time he tried to tell someone, he’d shut down completely. Now he wanted to tell someone. Specifically? Mikaela.

 

       “Why were you there for so long?” Mikaela asked, ignoring his question. “When did the abuse start, and why didn’t anyone help sooner?”

 

       Yūichirō nervously blinked. “N-no one saw it, I guess. The… the suffering. And I don’t know. For as long as I can remember.”

 

       “When was your first suicide attempt?”

 

       “First? Why do you think I’ve had more than one?” he chuckled, though Mikaela only stared at him. “Uh… I tried a few times… while I was with my birth parents.... Nothing ever worked, unfortunately....”

 

       “You mean fortunately.”

 

       Yūichirō cleared his throat. “Pretty sure I said and meant unfortunately.”

 

       “That doesn’t apply for everyone else.”

 

       “My birth parents would disagree.”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “They’re not important.”

 

       “I mean, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here.”

 

       “Shut the fuck up, Yū,” he snapped, startling him. “Don’t fucking defend them. Just continue.”

 

       “I-I wasn’t—” He paused at the intense glare in Mikaela’s eyes, then looked away. “My life turned for the better when child services finally realized what was going on since I never said anything.... I was pretty much worthless, anyway. Um... then Guren and Shinya adopted me not too long after, and they tried to help me with what I was dealing with.

 

       “I was so stubborn, though. It wasn’t until recently that I was given a therapist after—” He paused. Then, quickly, before Mikaela could notice that he cut off part of his story, he went on, “And then… well, it didn’t really work out. After they gave me pills, I took them for—” Another pause. “Like I said, a few months.”

 

       “Explain this,” Mikaela said, grabbing Yūichirō’s sleeved arm and rolling it up. Surprisingly, he had picked up the correct one, gliding a finger along the lengthy vertical scar that ran along his skin and over the other cuts.

 

       “W-what do you mean?” he asked nervously, pulling down the sleeve a little. “From a suicide attempt, obviously....”

 

       “When?”

 

       Yūichirō hesitated. “Before Guren and Shinya adopted me, obv—” He stopped himself before he could repeat the same word, but it didn’t matter.

 

       “When, Yū? Don’t lie to me.”

 

       “God!” He pulled his arm away and tugged down the fabric completely. “Why does it matter when? The fact is that I did it, and that’s all you need to know.”

 

       Mikaela glared at him. “It was recently, wasn’t it?”

 

       “Don’t be an idiot,” Yūichirō mumbled, patting down his sleeve. “Clearly it’s an old scar.”

 

       “I just think it’s weird that you were in this household for two or three years and only this year is when you received a therapist.”

 

       Yūichirō felt all heated up and uncomfortable again. “Stop looking into it too much, Mika. It’s not that big of a deal. I bet you went through worse than this.”

 

       “This is a big deal. And what does it matter who suffered the most? That has nothing to do with anything.”

 

       “Yes, it does!” Yūichirō turned around. “So what, my parents bullied me all my life? I go ahead and cry about it and feel sorry for myself while you didn’t have the luxury to cry. You had to fight for your life while I wanted to give up mine.”

 

       “Yū, this isn’t about—”

 

       “I’m selfish and unthankful, Mika. I don’t even deserve to tell anyone what I went through because I never did anything to make it better. I just gave up and—” Tears threatened to form at his eyes, and he felt disgusted. “I....”

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela mumbled sadly from behind him. “Please don’t cry....”

 

       “I’m not crying,” he told him, rubbing at his reddened eyes. “I don’t deserve to cry.”

 

       Mikaela’s arms were once again wrapped around him from behind, and the blond gently hugged and pulled him close. “You deserve a lot of things, Yū.” He rested his head next to Yūichirō’s as he spoke. “I know there are more things you're not telling me, but I'm… I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. I know I always say that, but I mean it. Fuck, do I mean it, Yū. You didn't need me making your life worse all the time, and I'm sorry.”

 

       “I don't really care,” Yūichirō stammered, and voice cracking, he added, “You're-you're leaving in, like, one week, anyway—”

 

       Immediately, he burst into tears.

 

       “No, Yū, please.” Mikaela turned him around and hugged him tighter. “Don't cry. Please stop crying.”

 

       Yūichirō hugged him back, his tears flowing uncontrollably onto the blond’s shirt. He sobbed, though he was unsure as to why he felt like complete shit. Other than the fact that his heart ached at the thought of never ever seeing Mikaela again, of course.

 

       He cried harder.

 

       “Stop it,” Mikaela tried to tell him, but it was pointless for him to try. Yūichirō could hardly focus on anything besides for how stupid he felt, crying over someone who probably didn't want to be around him anymore. “You act like I'm going to die or something.... And it’s two weeks, not one.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head despite his face being shoved against him. You’re leaving me, Mika, he thought, unable to speak. The only one who could accept me for— When he remembered Mikaela had said he loved his masochism, he just about lost it.

 

       “Don’t go!” he spluttered, moving away just a bit to look up at him. “You can’t leave... you can’t leave m-me... Mika....”

 

       Mikaela looked down at him with a hurt expression. “Don’t think about that right now, Yū. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”

 

       “Yes, you are!” Yūichirō wanted to shove him away, but instead, he just buried his face back into Mikaela’s lower neck. “Say you won’t leave me.”

 

       “Yū—”

 

       “Say it!” he demanded, hugging Mikaela so tightly that the blond had to take a step back, though they didn’t separate from each other.

 

       “Stop it, Yū. You’re breaking my heart....”

 

       Yūichirō had to sniffle with how hard he was crying, and what Mikaela was saying wasn’t making him feel any better. I shouldn’t have said anything, he thought with an ache in his heart. I knew I should have never said anything, ever.

 

       “Look, I... I won't leave yet, okay? So don't cry.”

 

       “Soon,” he managed to say as his sobs and shakes weren't as violent anymore. “You'll leave eventually.”

 

       “No. I'll see if I can stay longer. I assure you, you'll be tired of me by then. I know it's not much, but it's something. Anything to get you to stop crying.”

 

       Yūichirō sniffled again. “Will you really?”

 

       “I’ll try.”

 

       He moved away once again to look at Mikaela. “Promise me… promise me you’ll stay longer.” He then moved a hand to hold up his pinky. “Promise.”

 

       Mikaela looked at his finger sadly. “I can’t promise you that, but I’ll promise to try.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, though he knew he was asking for way too much. He had to at least accept that. After all, Mikaela had no obligation to stick around. He kept his pinky raised. “Promise me you’re going to try and stay with me longer.”

 

       “Okay,” Mikaela said, raising his own pinky and hooking it with Yūichirō’s. “I promise.”

Chapter Text

After being swayed in Mikaela’s hold for a few long minutes, standing there quietly until he stopped crying, they went back down the stairs and finished the movie. Neither of them really commentated until it ended, and Yūichirō was surprised to hear Mikaela give his two cents about it. He didn’t think he was even paying attention.

 

       Then, they decided to watch another one. This time, Mikaela suggested a comedy to cheer him up, but Yūichirō wanted something a little somber. So they agreed on a romantic comedy-drama, and Mikaela made up a stupid challenge to kiss every time they did during the movie.

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t ignore the pain in his chest, though. He’d constantly be reminded that, regardless of when, Mikaela would leave forever. Sometimes, he wanted to ask if he would ever come back, but he was unsure if he wanted to know. Maybe Mikaela would say of course just to make him feel better, but Yūichirō didn’t want to hear a lie. He was pretty convinced he’d never see him again.

 

       Eventually, after their movie marathon, his parents had arrived, and they ate dinner after their separate showers once evening rolled in. Yūichirō then invited Mikaela to the bed with him after the blonde offered it back to him, but he rejected, surprisingly. He would have argued, though he didn't want to seem desperate apart from all that crying earlier, so he let Mikaela be.

 

       As he was trying to sleep, he kept hearing loud shuffling on the air mattress below him. Every time Mikaela would move around, it would wake him up completely. He'd think it was the last time Mikaela would adjust only to hear it again.

 

       A little done with it after what felt like the millionth time, he looked over his bed to see Mikaela laying on his back, eyes open and arms crossed behind his head.

 

       He was about to snap at him, though he knew there was no point in being angry at him after what they went through that day. Mikaela was really nice to him, after all. In his own aggressive, confusing way. He could tell Mikaela’s concern was genuine, but it was not in the way he was used to. The blond seemed more irritated instead of showing pity like everyone else. Almost guilty at the fact that he didn't do anything to help the past rather than guilty at the things he did in the present.

 

       Yūichirō wished he could tell him that it was okay now, but because that was hardly the truth—and he didn't want to comment on the blond’s feelings—he let it be. For now, his main focus was on why Mikaela couldn't sleep.

 

       “Mika,” he whispered, still leaning over the edge of his bed. “Are you okay?”

 

       It was only a little dark and his eyes had adjusted already, so he could see the blond turn to him in surprise. “You’re still awake?”

 

       “So are you,” he countered in a voice full of sleepiness and concern. “Are you okay?”

 

       “I’d say yes,” Mikaela answered, looking back to the ceiling. “But no, I’m not.”

 

       “What’s wrong?”

 

       A sigh filled the quietness of the room. “The nicotine.”

 

       Yūichirō suddenly remembered that Mikaela had quit smoking for him. In fact, before their shower, Yūichirō had hidden the pack cleverly in a large, empty bottle of lotion. He made a slit in the bottom and shoved it up there, then stuffed it in the back of the cabinets in the bathroom. He would have kept it in his room, but... he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

 

       “Do you need one?” Yūichirō asked curiously, unsure if he would even fulfill Mikaela’s request.

 

       Thankfully, the blond shook his head. “It’s not going to make a difference at this point. I’ll just feel worse.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t entirely understand. He wasn’t a smoker, after all. “Okay... are you sleepy, at least?”

 

       “No.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed, too, before bunching up the blankets around himself and moving off the bed.

 

       “What are you doing?” Mikaela asked, sounding utterly confused as Yūichirō waddled to the air mattress and fell onto it sideways.

 

       “I’m sleeping with you,” he replied, rolling over until he bumped into Mikaela. “Since you don’t want to be on my bed for some reason.”

 

       “Get off,” Mikaela tiredly said, shoving him. But Yūichirō only rolled back, keeping his eyes closed.

 

       “G’nite, Mik’.”

 

       Mikaela sighed once more before letting Yūichirō stay in place. “If you think this is a great idea to get me to fall asleep, you’re wrong.”

 

       Yūichirō furrowed his brows and emerged from his blanket cocoon. Then, he kicked it off before grabbing Mikaela’s covers and going under them. He wrapped his arms around the blond who was still laying on his back, then snuggled closer.

 

       “Yū, honestly.... Weren’t you once concerned your parents would find us like this?”

 

       “Pft. Like they’re gonna say anything.” Yūichirō sprouted his head from under the blankets to look at Mikaela. “They’ve been tip-toeing around us since we said we weren’t dating.”

 

       Mikaela was about to turn around to face him, but Yūichirō stopped him by putting a hand to his chest. “No,” he said stubbornly, moving to go on top of the blond. “I wanna lay on you.”

 

       “Well,” Mikaela went on awkwardly as Yūichirō began to shuffle on top of him. “That’s true. I did notice them keeping their distance....”

 

       Yūichirō hummed a yes before scooting down to rest his head under Mikaela’s. It felt a little weird to be on top of him like that, but it was almost like a literal body pillow. Well, it was a literal body pillow.

 

       “Hey,” Mikaela then said quietly. A hand went to Yūichirō’s head, his fingers entangling themselves deep into the damp strands of hair. “Do you really... want me to stay?”

 

       His breath nearly hitched in his throat. Yūichirō sat up to look at him, Mikaela’s hand leaving his hair. “Why do you ask?”

 

       Mikaela moved up, too, and Yūichirō slid down a bit. The blond propped himself up with his elbows, though he was looking off to the side. “I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it.... You sounded so heartbroken. Besides,” he added, meeting Yūichirō’s gaze. “I thought you hated me.”

 

       “I don’t hate your guts,” Yūichirō emphasized, feeling awkward. He didn’t want to admit he was starting to like him. Hell, he didn’t even want to admit it to himself. “I just... I... I dunno. You’re... different from everyone else. The way you treat me, I guess.”

 

       “Uh, huh.” Mikaela sounded skeptical. “So, you like that? The way I tease you and flirt with you and make you feel like garbage?”

 

       Yūichirō looked away. “I wouldn’t put it in those exact words....”

 

       “Yū....” Mikaela’s voice grew quiet and heavy. “You don’t... like me, do you?”

 

       He shook his head rapidly. “Like, like like? N-no! Of course not.... My crush on you is long gone.” He nervously chuckled, itching his cheek and expecting Mikaela to laugh it off with him.

 

       But Mikaela wasn’t amused. “I see.” He went back down to his back, his eyes once again directed at the ceiling. “I guess that makes sense.”

 

       Regret and apprehension made him grow goosebumps, and uneasiness washed over him. “And—and, Mika.... You don’t—you don’t...” he trailed off, trying not to nervously laugh again. “You don’t like me, right?”

 

       “What, ‘like, like like,’ as you put it? As in, I want to go out with you?”

 

       “Y-yeah,” he stammered, now unsure if he should have asked. Mikaela wasn’t even looking at him. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?

 

       After a moment, the blond said, “No.”

 

       Immediately, his heart sunk. Yūichirō just smiled and laughed it off. “Hahaa... that would have been crazy! ” He snuggled back into the blond’s neck, though not before feeling his throat tighten and his eyes sting once again. “I don’t—” he paused as his tone sounded like he was about to cry. Then, more sure and confident, he finished, “I don’t wanna go out with you, either.”

 

       “Yū...” Mikaela whispered sadly, his hand once again returning to his hair.

 

       “...What?”

 

       “Just go to sleep.”

 

 

....

 

 

Yūichirō stared at the bottle of pills in his hand. He had already taken them, and he was about to put them back, but then he thought about how Mikaela had stolen them. They've come far since then.... Last night proved that to some extent.

 

       He sighed. Mikaela was entirely too quiet this morning. Apart from the ‘heys,’ they didn't say anything to each other at all. It wasn't like they were holding grudges or anything, but more as they had nothing to say. Mikaela seemed bothered by something, though. Enough to not even be around Yūichirō when his parents were still there.

 

       I should have said something to him, Yūichirō thought guiltily. I guess I'm still embarrassed about yesterday. He put them back and shut the fridge door before looking off to the side where the archway was. Mikaela had gone upstairs. He was the only one up there. It was unlike him.

 

       Yeah. I should talk to him.

 

       He exited the room and walked to the stairs, ignoring his parents as they bickered between each other. He went all the way up, and as soon as he made it to the hall, he heard loud shuffling noises.

 

       Brows furrowed in confusion, he hesitantly moved and entered his room, opening the door slowly. Then, he saw Mikaela looking through the dresser, clothes falling out in his desperate attempts to find something.

 

       “Whoa, Mika,” Yūichirō said, though he didn't grab his attention. He walked carefully around the scattered objects on the floor and towards the blond. “What's wrong? What are you—”

 

       “Cigarettes," he snapped in response, shoving the drawer closed before turning to face him. “I just need one.”

 

       “You—you could’ve just asked....” Although, Yūichirō didn’t make a move. “But, um.... I was wondering... maybe you could try something else? I....”

 

       “What—? No, Yū. Give me one for now, okay? It’s not good to stop immediately, like you said. I’ll only smoke it for a second.”

 

       Yūichirō stepped back and nervously itched his cheek. “M-maybe... well, you said you had... other addictions.... Y’know, like—”

 

       “Tch.” Mikaela ignored him and continued looking through another dresser. Yūichirō sighed and walked over to the bed. He hopped onto it, then brought his legs up.

 

       There was only one thing left to do. Or, at least, that’s what Yūichirō told himself. There were probably other options, but he just really wanted to do this.

 

       Taking a deep breath and brushing back his hair a little, he whispered, “Mika... Mika, come on, don’t you wanna kiss this?”

 

       The blond glanced behind him.

 

       “It’ll get your mind off things....” Yūichirō moved to sit on his legs before spreading apart his knees, hands in between them. “Wouldn’t it?”

 

       Another glance. “Whatever you’re trying to pull, it’s not going to work. I need the nicotine, Yū. Not sex.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed, though he rose a hand to tug his sleeved shirt to reveal a shoulder. “Don’t be silly. I wouldn’t let you fuck all of this. But I’ll be your nicotine, Mika. Aren’t I better than all of that stuff?”

 

       “Where did you hide them?”

 

       With reddened cheeks, Yūichirō slowly lowered a hand to his crotch. “Oh, I dunno....” He exhaled when he touched his dick covered by his pants. “Uh... here, maybe?”

 

       Now Mikaela turned around and quickly walked over to him Yūichirō nearly regretted ever trying to seduce the blond. He knew how he got when sexually aroused. But who cared? He had wanted it and now he was receiving.

 

       Mikaela crawled on the bed and over to Yūichirō. When they neared each other, Mikaela was already raising a hand to his cheek before bringing their faces together for a kiss.

 

       He lightly moaned, moving his head up with Mikaela's as the blond sealed the kiss. Their heads then went down to start up another one, and the other male only continued to move closer until Yūichirō had to lean back.

 

       He found himself with his back to the mattress as Mikaela straddled his hips with his knees, leaning over him and slowly kissing him almost passionately. Yūichirō rose a hand to grip Mikaela's hair, but he was quickly prevented from doing so, his wrists now pinned down on either side of him.

 

       Here we go, he thought, already figuring out that it wouldn't have stayed like that forever. It was nice, but Mikaela didn't do ‘nice.’

 

       Yūichirō tried to keep up with Mikaela's fast and deep kisses, moving his lips to the best of his ability. But Mikaela kept attacking them as if they were his life support, and eventually, Yūichirō couldn't manage anymore. He only moaned for him to stop, trying to move and enjoying the pleasurable feeling of not being able to.

 

       Mikaela didn't seem to ignore his struggles for once, because his own lips started to stray from his mouth and down to his jawline and neck. Yūichirō moaned a little louder when, without warning, Mikaela bit down on a small section.

 

       “M-Mika,” he said in a hushed voice, blinking his eyes open and looking down to see light blonde hair. “S-stop... my parents might hear—a-ah... fuck.”

 

       Mikaela was quick to shush him after moving away a bit. He then tilted his head the other way and continued to nibble on the other side of his neck.

 

       This is nice, he thought in a haze, his vision blurring as he stared up. I wish we could always do this and it won't ever be weird between us. Yūichirō let out a hot breath as Mikaela took in more of his skin to suck on. Yeah... just like this... forever....

 

       His vision continued to blur. No, not forever, because....

 

       Mikaela's lips were back on his own, interrupting his train of thought. It was only a peck. “I'm going to mark you, okay?”

 

       “Huh?”

 

       “Mark,” Mikaela repeated as if that was explaining things. “You didn’t let me the first time.”

 

       He squirmed underneath him, struggling his wrists a bit. “Why would you... want to? Besides, how am I gonna explain that to my parents?”

 

       “Who cares?” Mikaela released him and shuffled down further, all the way to his thighs. Then, he lifted up Yūichirō’s sleeved shirt without even asking. Yūichirō quickly shoved his hands away and forced it down.

 

       “Why do you want to?” Yūichirō repeated. He wanted to know why before Mikaela would do it. After all, he didn’t see how it would please the blond at all. What Mikaela needed right now was a distraction on himself, not Yūichirō.

 

       “Because you—” he stopped his retort half-way and glared up at Yūichirō. “Because I want to. I’m going to mark you everywhere and everyone will see it.”

 

       “N-no!” Yūichirō tried to stop Mikaela again, though barely. “Mika, seriously.... Why would you want people to see? You're gonna get me in trouble....”

 

       “Just be quiet and let me do this.”

 

       Once Mikaela lifted up his shirt high enough, he leaned over him again and began sucking at his nipples. Without warning. Yūichirō immediately grabbed his blonde hair tightly to get him to stop. “Not there! N-no! It feels weird....”

 

       Mikaela gently nipped it with his teeth. The oddest part was the tongue action, and Yūichirō didn't know how to feel. He's never had someone suck on his nipples before.

 

       Shortly after, Mikaela switched to the other one. I wonder if... I could ever give Mika.... He trailed off, feeling weird. But the thought of showing any other girls that Mikaela was taken definitely was—

 

       The thought stopped. He suddenly wondered if that was Mikaela’s motive—to show other people that Yūichirō belonged to someone. But he pushed the thought away. It was unlikely. And on the topic of him marking Mikaela....

 

       The blond wasn't taken, and absolutely not by him. It would never happen.

 

       Yūichirō moaned a little louder, though. What exactly did it matter when they were doing something like this? They were pretty much a couple. No one else was going to be marked by Mikaela right at this moment, and that meant something. Mikaela was his just as much as he was Mikaela's.

 

       “Yeah,” he moaned, feeling turned on by the thought that Mikaela still wanted to do things with him despite saying he didn’t want to date. Clearly the blond still felt some type of way with him. He had to be special, unlike those other girls. “Yeah, Mika. Mark me; I'm yours.”

 

       At first, Mikaela didn’t respond, and he stopped sucking for a moment. It made Yūichirō feel extremely awkward. That wasn’t weird, was it? I....

 

       “Mine,” Mikaela then growled, moving up to capture Yūichirō’s lips. “You’re right: you’re mine.

 

       He kissed back, humming and unable to force down his smile. We are like a couple.

 

       “All mine to—” Mikaela slightly sucked in Yūichirō’s top lip between two of his own, “—fuck, if I wanted....” His lip was released after the first word, and Mikaela moaned, bringing his lips down to give him a deep kiss. It ended in Yūichirō’s bottom lip being pulled at until it left Mikaela’s mouth, a mwah heard as he sucked harshly at it. “I could devour you.”

 

       Yūichirō fluttered his eyes open only a bit, not really sure what was going on as Mikaela sucked at his lips. He must really like them, he thought, closing his hardly-opened eyes. He likes a lot of things about me....

 

       Mikaela moved after a moment to continue marking his jawline and neck. He even kept going at it and tugged down Yūichirō’s pants to suck at his inner thighs, which was both amazing and terrifying. It was definitely different to have Mikaela, of all people, with his head near his dick.

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela whispered, "you’re going to look stunning after this.”

 

       This is super weird, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. Beyond weird. Crazy weird. I feel sore all over. Is he really going to leave no spot on my body clear of this?

 

       Already, after another few marks, Mikaela switched to the other thigh, and Yūichirō heard Shinya calling for them presumably down the stairs.

 

       “Okay!” Yūichirō said in response to his ‘we’re leaving’ comment.

 

       “Is… is Mikaela there with you?”

 

       He looked to the door as if he could see Shinya. “N-yeah. He’s—we’re—”

 

       “We’re fine,” Mikaela said for him after he stopped sucking. “Have a good day at work, you two!” Then, he continued as if it was nothing.

 

       Yūichirō squirmed a bit in place, feeling a little turned off. “I’ve been laying here forever,” he complained as Mikaela sat up properly and rubbed a spot on his skin. “Are you done yet...?”

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela said instead, looking at him. “Can I suggest something? Two things, actually.”

 

       “Huh?” Yūichirō moved to sit up, and Mikaela took the hint to get off of him. “I mean, I guess.... Go ahead....” This is kind of random.

 

       “Have you ever thought about....” Mikaela hesitated. “I don’t mean to insult you or anything, but... have you thought about using something to clear up your scars?”

 

       Yūichirō blinked.

 

       “I just—I don’t—” Mikaela paused, took a deep breath, then continued, “It’s not healthy to always wear sleeves when it’s hot out. And you feeling the need to hide them isn’t healthy, either.”

 

       “Uh... no, I haven’t. And that wasn’t insulting....”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “Good. Well, I’d be happy to help you with it if anything. I could buy you stuff, or.... I don’t know. I want to help.”

 

       “Thanks....” Yūichirō looked off to the side. “It’d be great if they disappeared, I guess....”

 

       “And, the other thing,” Mikaela went on. “I don’t want us to be on bad terms with each other anymore. When I forced you to suck me off, I knew you were secretly enjoying it—”

 

       “I—”

 

       “But I know I still hurt you deep down, and I shouldn’t treat you like a dirty bitch when you deserve better. It’s just....” Mikaela shuffled closer. “I also realize some part of you likes messing around like that, so I was thinking.... Maybe we should form some kind of trust... between each other.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked at him once again. “...Huh?”

 

       “I’m suggesting—” Mikaela gently grabbed his hands in both of his own, “—that everything we do to each other is okay unless we say otherwise. If we fail to mention anything, we could have a safeword.”

 

       “Sounds like you’re saying two completely different things....”

 

       “For example,” Mikaela went on, “let’s pretend we did this before I forced you to suck my cock. That entire situation would’ve been exactly the same, but it wouldn’t have been that hard on you, and whenever you wanted to stop, you could have used the safeword. And I probably wouldn't have forced you to lick my cum off the carpet without asking first.”

 

       Yūichirō tilted his head at the blond sitting next to him. Then, he turned so that they were facing each other. “So... we could do whatever we want, and it’s automatically okay?” Ideas immediately started popping into his head.

 

       “Of course, if there’s anything either of us aren’t comfortable with, we should say it before we agree to this. If we ever go too far after, then that’s where the safeword comes in.”

 

       Yūichirō forced down his smile of excitement. “I think I get it?”

 

       Mikaela nodded. “I think it would be a good idea to start trusting each other more. We’d know if we’re not okay with something, and what lengths we’d go to to make sure the other is comfortable.”

 

       “Yeah, yeah,” Yūichirō dismissed. He didn’t think Mikaela would ever do anything that bad to him. There weren't many ways he could hurt Yūichirō—other than breaking their promise. Which reminded him: “Why did you think this up?” he asked. “I mean, what’s the point of trusting and getting to know each other when you’re leaving forever, anyway?”

 

       Mikaela released his hands. “I’m not leaving forever,” he said in surprise. “What gave you that impression?”

 

       Yūichirō’s heart skipped a beat. “Uh... I don’t know.... I didn’t mean to say that....”

 

       The blond was skeptical. “Right.... Well, no. I’m not going to never see you again. What? No, that’s really stupid after everything we did with each other. I just might not come back so soon, that’s all.”

 

       And then it sunk.

 

       “No, right! Of course.” Yūichirō smiled. “You’re busy, and I understand. You’ll probably be away for years!

 

       “Well, yeah, but we could keep in touch every month, or something.”

 

       Yūichirō wasn’t even listening.

 

       “Yū?” Mikaela asked, shaking his shoulders. “Don’t space out. What are you thinking?”

 

       “About the safeword,” he lied nearly smoothly, though he had looked away. “I... I don’t have any good ideas.”

 

       “Well....” Mikaela released him. “It would have to be a word we never use....” He paused. “I need a cigarette.”

 

       Yūichirō furrowed his brows. “‘I need a cigarette’? Don’t you think that’s too—?”

 

       “No, Yū, god.” Mikaela moved around him and got off the bed. “I’m saying I need one. That wasn’t a suggestion for a safe—” he paused again. “Sentence.”

 

       “Oh....” Yūichirō shuffled off, too, though he was a little wobbly. Thankfully, Mikaela helped him before he could fall off. “Well, okay. But this is your last one for good, and I’m seriously not letting you kiss me.”

 

       Mikaela let out a very, very long sigh. “That’s fair, I guess....”

 

       Yūichirō forced down a chuckle. “Okay, wait downstairs! I don’t want you to know where I’m hiding them.”

 

       “Right.” Mikaela turned away, looked at the mess and said, “We’ll clean this up when I get back.”

 

       “Yeah, no. You’re gonna clean it up by yourself.”

 

 

....

 

 

Yūichirō was crying again.

 

       After the entire day they spent arguing over what their safeword would be, reluctantly cleaning the room, going out at one point to get the cream for his scars... and even the second chase around the house when Yūichirō insisted that Mikaela wait an entire day before kissing him again.... All of that, and he was depressed.

 

       Since Mikaela was having a rough time falling asleep once again, they had both slept on the bed together, leaving the air mattress unopened. It took a little convincing, but he eventually got Mikaela to sleep with him, and they fell asleep at some point, cuddled together and breathing peacefully. It was almost so perfect.

 

       But for some reason, he had woken up in the middle of the night. He had no clue how long it had been, though with the darkness from the outside and the fact that Mikaela was dead asleep, it must have only been a few hours.

 

       Adding onto that, they had separated during their sleep. Yūichirō was pushed against the wall while Mikaela slept near the middle of the bed. When he had moved up to see if Mikaela was still asleep or not, he could see a slight bump where the blond’s arms lay crossed on his stomach. He was on his back, and the covers were neatly resting up to his covered collarbones.

 

       Yūichirō, meanwhile, started crying his eyes out at the sight. There the blond lay, looking entirely too innocent and peaceful as if he’d never had a problem in his life. It was almost as if they were both happy and nothing else could ever go wrong from there on out.

 

       Since they had slept with their own small blankets just in case, Yūichirō had no problem with bunching up his own. He wiped his nose and eyes with it as he sobbed, vision too blurry with tears to be able to see Mikaela properly.

 

       Don’t leave me, Mika, he thought sadly in his head, continuing to wipe his eyes to get them to stop. Aren’t we so happy together...? I know we’re not even dating, but.... He inched closer, though he didn’t want to wake him up. I really... I really like you, Mika. I know you were so horrible and mean to me at first, but now....

 

       He forced his eyes shut as if that would stop the tears. I know you did some terrible stuff, too. But I forgive you. You made up for it. So now, stay with me.... You make my life worth living.

 

       Yūichirō carefully leaned forwards and, brushing his hair behind his ear to avoid tickling Mikaela’s face, he gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. You’re a lot better than what I thought you were at first.... I know you like me back, even if it’s not as much as I like you.

 

       He moved back and wiped his tears with the palm of hands, the blanket falling down from his shoulders. Maybe there was a good way to numb the pain. If he gave himself small cuts on his ankles or something, maybe Mikaela wouldn’t notice. Or maybe a single deep one that he could blame on an accident!

 

       Yūichirō bit his lip as to not start bawling again. Yeah. That sounds great.

 

       He didn’t make a move, though, and found himself staring at Mikaela’s crotch area, the plan he had cooked up earlier returning to his mind.

 

       It was around that time he’d start thinking about how disgusting and messed up he was. He’d bring up everything that happened in the past involving his masochism, and it would be enough to get him up from the bed and start slitting at his skin.

 

       But.... Yūichirō didn’t know. He almost didn’t care about being gross anymore.... Not when someone finally accepted and welcomed his masochistic side.

 

       Without a shred of guilt, he peeked under Mikaela’s blanket and started to crawl inside. He made sure not to disturb the blond too much, knowing he was most likely a light sleeper. That night he tried to kill himself wasn’t exactly forgotten.

 

       Even though it should be, honestly. Mikaela didn’t want to manipulate him now, surely. But Yūichirō didn’t mind. He’d let Mikaela manipulate him however the blond wanted to.

 

       Once he straddled Mikaela’s legs and his head was in the perfect position to give him a blowjob, Yūichirō sucked in a deep breath. The covers lifted up only slightly, allowing for little air to pass through. The tears were gone now, though he had to sniffle a few times before actually getting to work.

 

       He slowly began to tug off Mikaela’s boxers after his pants, able to see the bulge even through the darkness. It was like a huge mound, nearly making Yūichirō’s mouth water.

 

       His cock is actually really big, he thought hungrily, thinking about the first time he had touched it. He squeezed his eyes shut before he managed to tug them past his thighs. I’m going to see it again, and then I can do whatever I want with it.

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t wait. He immediately opened his still-wet eyes.

 

       Yeah. It’s seriously amazing.

 

       Then he got all giddy. Mikaela’s cock! Mikaela’s huge, fat cock!

 

       Yūichirō’s tongue hung out in desire, though he only stared at it, his hand moving it up slightly since it was still a little soft. So big, so big, so big....

 

       A bit of his drool landed onto it. Yūichirō’s eyes widened before he lifted it up and started lapping at it.

 

       Mika’s... he thought, now slowly licking up from his balls to the tip. Stupid... big.... Yūichirō wrapped his hand around the base of it, while his other gripped the blond’s lowered pants. He took the head inside his mouth, keeping his tongue out. Cock.

 

       When too much saliva pooled at his mouth, Yūichirō instinctively moved back to swallow it down. Then he realized he kind of needed it, so he sighed.

 

       I wish I was really good at this... better than all of those other girls so that he’s only going to remember how I do it. Yūichirō looked up, then suddenly had a great yet awkward idea.

 

       Leaving Mikaela’s dick there, Yūichirō scrambled off the blond and to the floor. He looked around for the outlet near his bed, then noticed Mikaela’s phone lying nearby, charging. Yūichirō picked it up and clicked it on before pressing on the home button.

 

       Locked.

 

       He was about to feel frustrated, but then it vibrated in his hand as if he entered the wrong passcode. His eyes widened. Touch ID!

 

       Yūichirō stood up and neared the bed. Mikaela’s brows were now furrowed, but he still appeared to be asleep.

 

       Not wanting to disturb the blond, he very carefully tugged the top part of the blanket to reveal his hands. Then, gently, he lifted up his thumb to the home button.

 

       He was in.

 

       Yūichirō turned down the brightness before entering the covers again, resuming his previous position. He tried not to look at anything on Mikaela’s phone but the internet browser. When it popped up, he was glad to see there were no tabs open.

 

       He opened a new one and typed in the search bar, ‘how to give an amazing blowjob', and clicked the first link.

 

       Psh. Eye contact. Everyone knows about that.

 

       Yūichirō scrolled past some tips he already knew or were useless. Meanwhile, he held up Mikaela’s cock to his mouth with a free hand, the phone illuminating the darkness. At one point in reading, Yūichirō had shined it on him, filled with the desire to see every part of the blond’s dick before he never could again. Though he got embarrassed staring so he stopped.

 

       Lube? I’m not getting up for that. Oh... speed. Go slow and fast. Okay, right.

 

       Mikaela began to shuffle in his sleep, putting pressure on where Yūichirō lay on him. But he kept his ass on Mikaela’s legs firm, and the blond stopped trying to move. He heard him sigh out a breath before going quiet again.

 

       Yūichirō was just thankful he didn’t wake up yet. He almost let out a sigh himself before continuing to read. When there were no more tips, he went back to find another link. He needed to gather more information.

 

       Flick the what.

 

       He looked between the phone and Mikaela’s dick, wondering what the hell they were talking about. Of course, he had a dick of his own, so he felt like he should know what was going on. And after a short moment of looking at it, he did.

 

       Yūichirō set the phone down on Mikaela’s stomach to readjust himself. He put one knee between Mikaela’s legs before spreading them apart to put his other one there. And now that he was in between Mikaela’s legs, he really got to work.

 

       Phone now in hand to keep scrolling and reading, Yūichirō lifted up Mikaela’s cock with his other one and put his lips to the head. He honestly just wanted to take the whole thing into his mouth and practice deepthroating, but he also wanted to give Mikaela the best experience for when he woke up shortly after, no doubt.

 

       Yūichirō looked away from the phone for a second to suck at the tip. He then pressed his tongue against it before moving down to lick his cock all over. Ah, screw this. He exited the tab while sucking, made sure to clear the history quickly, then slid the phone off the bed. Then he continued to lick hungrily, occasionally taking in small portions of it.

 

       No teeth, use hands, pay attention, use tongue....

 

       He scooted back and moved down to suck at his balls, too. Which was definitely a new experience for him. Balls the size to match.... How does his entire dick not weigh him down? It’s probably super heavy.

 

       Yūichirō moaned a little once he licked all the way up and engulfed the tip again. Then he moaned once more as he realized it had hardened. Mikaela’s breathing was louder now, too, and it only encouraged him.

 

       “Mmm...” he hummed before he took it deeper, then bobbed his head up and down a few times. He pulled it out, sucked at the tip, then took it in his mouth again.

 

       I wonder if he’s having any dreams right now, Yūichirō thought, opening and nearly rolling his eyes back. I definitely am.

 

       He imagined them actually having sex for once, and how it’d feel to have something so big inside of his ass. He’d adjust to it and everything, and he could have Mikaela pounding inside of him and them giving each other indescribable pleasure at it being their awaited first time together.

 

       Yūichirō wasn’t sure about Mikaela, but he definitely had thought about having sex with him one too many times.

 

       His hand that was free of the phone now held the parts of the dick Yūichirō couldn’t take down his mouth yet. His other hand had moved down to touch Mikaela’s balls awkwardly. He didn’t exactly know what to do with them, and if he had to be honest, he’d rather take Mikaela’s cock deep down his throat and do absolutely nothing else.

 

       He kept his hand moving slightly up and down while his mouth focused on the tip. He wondered if he could become a better kisser by practically making out with the head, then surprise Mikaela with his super amazing kissing skills. That would surely shut the blond up about it!

 

       Yūichirō shook off the stupid thoughts before moving his mouth away completely, tired. Mikaela’s cock wasn’t even fully erect yet. He tried not to feel discouraged and just let it sit on his face, rubbing it against his cheek while giving his lips and tongue a chance to rest.

 

       I wish he was pulling my hair right now, he thought sadly, looking up ahead. If he’s not going to wake up, then maybe I could seriously do whatever I want with this. Yūichirō gazed down at the blond’s crotch that was no longer illuminated by light. We didn’t say what we’re not comfortable with yet, though.... So I couldn’t... ride him, or something. I know he said he doesn't like it when it’s tight.

 

       Unless, the thoughts went on, I prepared my hole for him? And then... we could have hot sex right here. Or... I could. Yūichirō then shook his head. No, I’m sure he wouldn’t like that, and I’d rather have sex with him when he’s awake. Yūichirō took his cock back in his mouth. And with consent.

 

       “Yū,” came the whisper. “What are you... doing?” He sounded breathless.

 

       He smiled happily at the fact that he was now conscious, though he didn’t reply. Yūichirō pulled it out and flicked the underside of Mikaela’s head with his tongue just as the site had said to do, and the blond immediately sat up.

 

       “What the f—”

 

       “Shh,” Yūichirō hushed, the covers still over his head. “Just lay back down.”

 

       “But why the fuck are you giving me head in the middle of the—” he paused after shoving the blankets off of them. He must have realized it wasn’t the worst thing after all, because he only leaned forwards and gripped Yūichirō’s hair. “Nevermind. Continue.”

 

       As Mikaela squeezed his hair and shook his head side to side a little bit, his cock left Yūichirō’s mouth, and he had to forcibly push his head down to take it back in. In the process, Mikaela let go, only to now put both of his hands in his hair and aid his movements. Not that Yūichirō needed help, though.

 

       “Tongue,” Mikaela whispered as Yūichirō’s head bobbed up and down. “More tongue....”

 

       Yūichirō, heat rising to his face, slowed down gradually before sucking on the tip and leaving his cock. He then moved back and down to lick around it, teasing with both sides of his tongue.

 

       “That feels good,” Mikaela commented quietly, his grip easing. “Suck it back in.”

 

       “Stop bossing me around,” Yūichirō said and nearly moaned at the same time. He didn’t need Mikaela telling him what to do all the time! Couldn’t the blond let him do it his way for once?

 

       But Mikaela didn’t oblige. He lifted up Yūichirō’s head away and then closer before shoving him down to take his cock again. It was forced into his mouth before he knew it, and Mikaela was pushing him further.

 

       Alright. That is it.

 

       Yūichirō moaned once more, then hummed twice, almost as if saying their safeword. Mikaela immediately eased up his grip once again, and Yūichirō moved away.

 

       “Let me do it my way,” he demanded, glaring at Mikaela as he now sat up. “Or I’ll use the safeword and we’ll stop right here.”

 

       Of course, the blond was ready to protest. “Do you think that safeword serves you some sort of protection? Some power over me?”

 

       Yūichirō licked his lips. “It better serve me protection. Just shut up and let me show you what giving head is supposed to be like.”

 

       As he went down on him again, Mikaela scoffed. “Like you would know. This is your second time.”

 

       He gave Mikaela the middle finger before using that hand to wrap around the base of his cock. Both hands were there now, moving up and down as his mouth did the same. Mikaela’s hand had returned into his hair, but only one of them, and he wasn’t forcing him anymore.

 

       “This is the only time... you'll get to do this,” Mikaela told him, though Yūichirō was hardly listening. “I’m the boss of you. Not the other way around.”

 

       Pushing his cock to the back of his throat, Yūichirō hummed a sarcastic yes before angling himself to push it down deeper. It went down a bit before he pulled it out and pushed the tip under his tongue. Mikaela was now effectively shut up.

 

       Yūichirō moved away from his dick to lick at his balls again. It was funny when the blond’s grip in his hair would occasionally release and tighten, or how his cock slowly hardened inside his mouth. He liked it a lot. It made him grow a fuzzy, proud feeling. He must be doing a good job.

 

       He kissed Mikaela’s cock all over before admiring the size for a moment. It had gotten bigger.

 

       “I want this inside of me,” Yūichirō said, not really directed to anyone. He gave it a kiss on the head before adding, “I want this cock inside my ass.”

 

       Mikaela only breathed in response.

 

       Yūichirō moved his head up to look at him for a second. Their eyes instantly met, and he could tell that Mikaela was more focused on the pleasure he was (not at the moment) receiving. He broke the eye contact and leaned back down. He wanted to try and take all of it, going faster and hopefully bringing Mikaela to come. Yūichirō couldn’t suck forever, unfortunately.

 

       He moved around the saliva that pooled under his tongue to spread around his mouth. Then, he parted his lips, and with Mikaela's hands soon returning to his hair, he started to take in his cock again.

 

       “Mmh,” Yūichirō moaned, using one hand to pump his dick while moving his head up and down slightly. He picked up the pace, his other hand on the bed to keep himself upright. “Mm—mmh!

 

       “Yeah...” Mikaela muttered, squeezing his hair tighter. “That’s good, Yū....”

 

       He sucked as he bobbed his head, quickening his hand movements and taking his cock further inside. When his lips would touch his hand, he had to move it away and prop himself up. He teasingly and slowly let Mikaela’s cock nearly leave his mouth before taking it back inside. He felt the head force its way to his throat as he lowered himself.

 

       I can do this, he thought reassuringly, though he was still a little frightened. It would probably be easier to deepthroat in another position.

 

       Yūichirō mentally shook his head and kept easing it deeper inside, squeezing his eyes shut and making sure to keep his breathing steady. He held his breath when it went down too deep, earning him a grunt from Mikaela.

 

       He tried not to impossibly smile with his aching mouth opened wide enough to take it so far. Yūichirō moved so that Mikaela’s cock fucked his throat, then backed up so he could take a breath. He was about to do it again, but right after he had moaned, Mikaela’s own hand went to his cock and pumped it only a few times before he was spurting all over Yūichirō’s face.

 

       “Ohhh, fuck,” Mikaela cussed, seeming to lean back a bit, though he kept his cock angled to spread cum all over him, continuing to jack it. Yūichirō just propped himself up there in shock, taking it all while semen slowly began to drip from his face and down his neck.

 

       “Y-you—” he stammered, his eyes shut. “You didn’t just.”

 

       “I did,” Mikaela unnecessarily responded, now slowly setting his cock down. “Just so you can clean it up.”

 

       When he felt no more of Mikaela’s semen spray him in the face, he sat back on his knees and wiped his eyes with his hands. After he cleared them from cum, he blinked one eye open before the other one.

 

       Mikaela was leaning back with both of his hands now, his head tilted back. Yūichirō guessed his blue eyes were closed while he heaved for breath, coming down from his unexpected high.

 

       “You’re an asshole,” Yūichirō whisper-yelled at him, looking down at the cum that fell from his face and onto the sheets. “I can’t believe you came so quickly....”

 

       “What can I say?” Mikaela sighed. “Things change when I actually like you.”

 

       Yūichirō’s heart fluttered. Despite the substance on his face, he smiled, closing his eyes and feeling the brightest light bursting inside of him.

 

       He lowered between Mikaela’s thighs and began to lick up the semen on his sheets. After a second, he had swallowed it all down and began to lick around his lips and use his hands to scoop it off from his face.

 

       “I wanted to practice deepthroating more,” Yūichirō stated. Mikaela’s words kept repeating in his mind, and he couldn’t have felt more appreciated and... loved.

 

       Not saying that Mikaela loved Yūichirō. He knew something like that would take time—or never happen. They were just starting to like each other, after all—though Yūichirō had felt his attraction to Mikaela much sooner. He never wanted to admit it, but it was true. Mikaela was the only one who satisfied his masochistic needs, and he loved it.

 

       “Too bad,” Mikaela responded, starting to sound tired again. “Hurry up cleaning, you slow moron. I want to lay down.”

 

       Yūichirō moved back down to suck the semen off the tip of the head. He licked around to clear anything that trailed down, then said, “Alright, sir. You’re clean now.”

 

       “Hmph.” Mikaela looked between his dick and Yūichirō skeptically. “Okay, I guess. Just—you have way too much on your face....”

 

       “I know,” he replied quietly, a little embarrassed. He wondered what he looked like right then. “Can you help...?”

 

       “Hell no.” Mikaela pulled up his pants to cover his cock before moving away from Yūichirō to get comfortable on the bed. He had grabbed his blankets and put it over him, now laying on his side. Yūichirō, fingers and face covered in cum, stared at the back of his head, dumbfounded.

 

       As to not lose his sanity, Yūichirō just calmly sucked on his fingers, taking in deep breaths all the while. “Okay,” he said after a moment, moving off the bed. “I’m going to wash this off.”

 

       “Whatever,” Mikaela replied, practically disregarding him. “Goodnight. Thanks for the head.”

 

       Yūichirō’s eye twitched. That was all he got? ‘Thanks for the head’?

 

       He stomped off and out of his bedroom. What a dick! First, he stops me short, then he doesn’t even appreciate my efforts? Yūichirō entered the bathroom and flicked on the lights. He had to shield his eyes from the sudden light change.

 

       Even though he was a little frustrated, he couldn’t help but think about the comment Mikaela had made. The blond didn’t seem like the type to come early, so the fact that he did, and said it was because he actually liked him....

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, feeling flustered. He turned on the faucet and started washing his face.

 

       I can’t believe... we’ve only known each other for two weeks, and.... Once he finished, he shut it off, looking up at himself in the mirror. Mika... actually likes me. Mika! Mika, who always treated me like shit....

 

       Before the thought of Mikaela leaving could return to his mind, Yūichirō turned off the lights and walked back to his room, hands and face still wet. He didn’t care much, though.

 

       When he entered, he noticed that Mikaela was sitting up, probably staring down at nothing. But when he got there, the blond turned to him. “Yū... you’re back.”

 

       “Huh...? Yeah.... Is... are you okay?” Yūichirō walked over to the bed carefully, the entire room a little too dark now that his eyes were used to light again.

 

       “Just come here,” Mikaela told him instead of answering, scooting to the side and patting the space next to him.

 

       Yūichirō blinked a few times before doing as Mikaela said. He got up on the bed and turned to his side, away from Mikaela. The blond was already starting to lay down with him, then wrapped his arms around his waist. Before Yūichirō knew it, he was being lifted and moved to the other side.

 

       “What—” he started, but Mikaela just fixed the blankets over him and cuddled in closer. His head rested almost on top of Yūichirō’s, and he let out a sigh. Without another word, it went quiet.

 

       Umm.... Yūichirō awkwardly lay on his side, now facing the wall. That was weird.

 

       Instead of minding it too much, he rested a wet hand on both of Mikaela’s where the blond hugged him near his stomach. After a second, he separated them and turned to face the blond.

 

       Mikaela opened his eyes when he did. Yūichirō gave the blond a smile before pulling at Mikaela’s arm. The other male seemed to take the hint because he stopped hugging Yūichirō.

 

       “Sorry,” Yūichirō apologized quietly, trying to intertwine their fingers together. He squeezed only one of Mikaela’s hand before using his other hand to hold it between his own. Then, he leaned in close to them. “G’nite, Mika.”

 

       “You’re weird,” Mikaela muttered, readjusting himself comfortably in their new position.

 

       And with only pleasant thoughts, Yūichirō drifted off into a light sleep.

Chapter Text

Yūichirō slowly blinked his eyes open, adjusting to the bright light. He couldn’t see anything, though, his vision obscured by someone’s covered chest.

 

       He moved his head up a little. His mind was still racing and trying to process everything, and when he saw Mikaela’s defined jawline, it hit him.

 

       Yūichirō looked back down. He grew aroused when he remembered how he had sucked him off and took a nut to the face. It was extremely hot, if he had to be honest. He absolutely did not mind Mikaela’s semen covering his body. He’d even drown in it—

 

       He shook off the weird thoughts.

 

       He realized that one of his legs was in between Mikaela’s and he was hugging the blond a little too tightly. He felt one of Mikaela’s hands in his hair rub gently for a second, and all of a sudden—crystal clear—he said, “Are you awake yet?”

 

       By the sound of his voice, he must have been awake for a while. Yūichirō cleared his throat so he wouldn’t sound husky—even though it probably wouldn’t work—then stammered out a reply, “Yeah... you?”

 

       “Really.”

 

       Realizing his mistake after a long moment, he instead asked, “I mean, how long were you awake for?”

 

       “A while now. I left you here to shower, and you were still asleep.”

 

       Yūichirō moved his arms away from around Mikaela. “What time is it?”

 

       “Almost ten.”

 

       “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

 

       “Why didn’t you wake up?” Mikaela retorted. “I wasn’t going to bother you when you’re peacefully sleeping.”

 

       Yūichirō uncomfortably shuffled around so that he wasn’t facing him. “You usually do....”

 

       “Tch. Why don’t you stop asking questions and being suspicious of me and start your day already?” Mikaela pushed him gently, then moved away. “Do you know how hard it was for me to wait for you? There are some things I want to do with you today.”

 

       His heart fluttered, and he covered his head with the blankets while Mikaela left the bed. “Really...?”

 

       “Yes. So get up, you lazy fuck.”

 

       “I’m not lazy...” he denied, though he wasn’t even paying attention to what he was saying himself. Did he make plans for us today or something? Excitement buzzed through his veins. Like a real boyfriend....

 

       “Yū, seriously. If you don’t get up in this very moment, I’m going to—”

 

       Yūichirō interrupted him by groaning. “I’m going, Mika! Just give me a second.”

 

       “No. No seconds.” The covers were ripped out from over him. “Get up. Now.”

 

       “What do you even wanna do?” he complained-slash-stalled, rolling over to look at his maybe—hopefully—soon-to-be-boyfriend. “What’s my super amazing schedule looking like today, servant?”

 

       He said the wrong thing. Which, he knew was the wrong thing, but it spilled out in the midst of the joke. He knew better than to call Mikaela something like that.

 

       So, his morning started off pretty rough! He was dragged out of his bed by the ear, had his ass harshly smacked as he was urged into the bathroom, and, adding onto that—

 

       “You’re sorry now, huh?” Mikaela was saying with the heel of his shoe pressed to Yūichirō’s forehead.

 

       There he lay, staring up into the void as Mikaela practically stepped on him. The blond’s other foot was on the floor near his head, so his crotch was almost in full-view.

 

       Yūichirō just sighed. He finished preparing for the morning and got dressed, and somehow he found himself on the floor in his room. Would there ever be a time when Mikaela was nice to him for at least ten hours straight? Five? Three?

 

       “Yes,” he replied, wincing as Mikaela shoved his foot down on his head harder. “I’m sorry, master Mikaela.”

 

       “What was that?” the blond asked, continuing to shove his head to the carpet floor. “Say it louder.”

 

       “Master,” he repeated. “I’m... sorry, master.”

 

       Mikaela hummed, looking down at him. “And who do you belong to?”

 

       “You.”

 

       “What’s my name?”

 

       “Mika,” he said in a monotone voice, which was not what the blond wanted at all.

 

       “Try again,” he ordered, removing his foot. Yūichirō’s head was now in between the blond’s shoes—and why did he have them on in the house?—and as Mikaela began to unbutton his pants, his eyes widened. “Try again, say it louder, and moan. If you don’t, well....”

 

       Yūichirō’s mouth immediately hung open. “Mika!” he moaned loudly, feeling delightfully pathetic. “Oh, Mika.”

 

       “Mm, yeah. That’s better.” Mikaela moved away for him to sit up, buttoning up his pants. “You’re so obedient for me and I love it.”

 

       He rubbed at his forehead where Mikaela had stepped on before angrily turning to look at the blond. He opened his mouth again to start cussing him off, but then Mikaela gave him a look, and he shut his mouth immediately. That was that.

 

       “The first thing I want to do is take you out for breakfast. I haven’t eaten anything yet, waiting for your dumb ass to wake up.”

 

       Yūichirō moved to stand. “Well, we’re ready now.” He was about to say, ‘you’re the one wasting time,’ but Mikaela was already speaking. Yūichirō probably wouldn’t have said that regardless, though.

 

       “Right. But before we go....” Mikaela grabbed his hand gently before tugging him out of the room. “I want to put on that cream for you before we forget.”

 

       He groaned. “Couldn’t you have done that sooner?”

 

       Mikaela glanced back at him as he dragged him to the bathroom. “I had to give you a small punishment first, though. Besides, I only remembered once you got changed.”

 

       When they were inside, Mikaela already crouched down to look through the cabinets. Yūichirō suddenly felt prickles of anxiety, knowing that the pack of cigarettes were there in hiding. Thankfully, the blond only pulled out a small tube of cream and shut the doors.

 

       Yūichirō had already rolled up his sleeves, and Mikaela moved in close to grab his arm. The tube was already opened, so he poured a little bit before setting it down on the sink counter. Then, slowly and gently, Mikaela began to rub large circles on his skin, one hand holding up his arm by the wrist.

 

       “How does that feel?” Mikaela asked, looking up at him.

 

       He met his gaze. “I mean... it doesn’t feel all that different....”

 

       “It’s going to take some time to work,” Mikaela pointed out, continuing to soothingly coat his arm. “After I leave, try to do this every night and morning for a few months, okay?”

 

       Yūichirō looked away, suddenly growing agitated. Why does he have to bring that up? I don’t want to think about him leaving anymore. I don’t want to think about being alone for years without seeing him again!

 

       “Yū,” Mikaela then said sternly, catching his attention. “You need to deal with the fact that I will leave sometime during this month. You’re only going to make it harder on yourself if you deny—”

 

       “I don’t care,” he stubbornly interrupted, tempted to pull his arm away. “I get it. I understand and it’s whatever, Mika. I’m hungry.”

 

       Mikaela quietly applied the cream to his other arm. When they finished with that, they were exiting the bathroom and going down the stairs.

 

       “Oh?” Shinya said in a questioning tone out of nowhere as they neared the door. “Where are you two going?”

 

       “Breakfast,” Mikaela said in his angel-like voice, nearly making Yūichirō shudder. He didn’t like how it made him feel after hearing... different tones. They contrasted his angelical one like black and white.

 

       His father, who had walked in from the living room’s archway, held up his phone. “Yū, I didn’t want to bother you because you two have been hanging out a lot lately, but.... Shinoa keeps calling my phone nonstop. She wants to talk to you.”

 

       “Maybe some other time,” Mikaela said for Yūichirō, almost disrespectfully. “We’re in a hurry right now. She can wait.”

 

       “Uhhh—” Yūichirō started, but he was once again tugged by Mikaela and they were out the door, it closing behind them. The blond was quick to release him, though, then started silently walking to the car.

 

       Yūichirō blinked once, twice. “Okay,” he started, catching up. “What was that about?”

 

       “What do you mean?”

 

       He crossed his arms as they stopped on their respective sides of the dark green convertible. “Why did you talk to him like that? You’re usually really nice to my parents.”

 

       “I was saving you?” Mikaela sarcastically answered, entering the car. “Sorry,” he then continued to say in that tone as they both got inside. “I didn’t realize you wanted to have a chit chat with one of your annoying friends.”

 

       “She’s been calling me, though....” Yūichirō clicked on his seatbelt. “What if she needs something? Damn. I really need a phone....”

 

       “It was probably questions about me,” Mikaela pointed out after turning on the engine. “Don’t worry about it, Yū. You’re with me now. Forget about them.”

 

       Yūichirō glanced at Mikaela, feeling uneasy. While he was right, Yūichirō was uncertain about leaving his friends hanging. He never thought about it, but he had been neglecting them ever since Mikaela came along.

 

       If they knew the reason, they'd understand! Yūichirō should spend as much time with Mikaela, after all. He was going to be around his friends practically twenty-four seven once he was gone... sort of. But they couldn't really complain, right?

 

       Still... his stomach sunk. He didn't realize it yet, but ignoring Shinoa’s call had just gotten himself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

 

....

 

 

“Just tell me! I want to know!”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō scooted to the wall so that he wasn’t in the middle and directly facing Mikaela. He crossed his arms as he now sat near the window on the booth and looked out. “I’ll never tell you.”

 

       “Pretty please?” Mikaela tried, in front of him again. “I’ll let you ask whatever you want, and I promise to only answer truthfully.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. “Don’t make me.... I’m already embarrassed enough as it is!”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “What if I told you about my first time?”

 

       “No....” Yūichirō glanced at him. “I don’t wanna know.”

 

       “Really? Well, is there anything you do want to know?”

 

       “Why you’re such an asshole!” Yūichirō uncrossed his arms before moving a hand up to point at Mikaela. But he bumped it under the table in the process, so instead—in pain—he held his hand in his hand. “No is no, Mika.”

 

       “Tchhh, whatever.” Mikaela leaned back into the booth, his sunglasses hiding the fact that he probably rolled his eyes just then. “You’re such a crybaby.”

 

       Yūichirō hmph’d before returning his eyes to the window. They had already ordered their breakfast after a long debate about the paying issue, and now all they had to do was wait until it arrived. The two of them started up a conversation that eventually led to talking about Yūichirō’s virginity, and he wasn't too happy about that.

 

       Also, the fact that his first time wasn’t really a ‘first time’ made it harder to admit what happened. Sure, he had said that he wasn’t a virgin when they were out buying a dildo, but that was because he was being ridiculed! He almost had sex, so he was sure that counted. At the time, anyway. He never really thought about it that much.

 

       “Oh,” Mikaela started, catching his attention. “Could I ask you something else, then?”

 

       Yūichirō shrugged. The only question he didn’t want to answer was on the topic of his virginity. “Go ahead.”

 

       “When did you realize you were a masochist?”

 

       And that. Those were the only two questions he didn’t want to—

 

       “Okay, fine,” Mikaela then said. “By the look on your face, I can tell you don’t want to answer. How about, do you remember when you first learned the term, and how?”

 

       Yūichirō itched his cheek. That didn’t sound like too bad of a question to answer. “I-I... I went to a library at some point, while I was still living with my birth parents.... I saw a book about sex stuff, so I... I picked it up....”

 

       “Huh. They let you go out?”

 

       He nodded. “They preferred it when I wasn’t at home.”

 

       Mikaela was quiet for a moment. Then, “What made you want to pick up the book?”

 

       Yūichirō flushed. “I dunno! I just did it, okay? Drop it....”

 

       “That reaction kinda tells me everything.”

 

       “There’s nothing wrong with being curious,” Yūichirō defended himself, looking down at his lap. “Whatever. Shut up, Mika.”

 

       “What about, first cut, and why?”

 

       Yūichirō squeezed his hands into fists. He was about to start yelling again, but then he thought better of it. He didn’t want to be hypocritical; Mikaela was just curious. In his own, blunt, inconsiderate way.

 

       He sighed. “Can we not talk about something so stupid?” he asked genuinely, looking up. “Enough about me, anyway.... I want to know—”

 

       “No, no, no, no,” Mikaela interrupted, crossing his arms on the table, which was a thing Yūichirō was scolded for the first time they went out to eat. He furrowed his brows at that as Mikaela went on, “Let’s talk about you for once. Only you. This day is now officially about you.

 

       Yūichirō looked away flusteredly. “Is it...? What do you... have planned?”

 

       “Nope. No questions directed at me allowed.”

 

       “But I—”

 

       “Let’s talk about your friends. How did you meet them?”

 

       At least it was a question that wouldn’t come with a depressing answer. “Through school,” he simply said with a shrug. “How about, you ask me two questions, and then I get to ask you one?”

 

       Mikaela seemed to think on it for a moment. “I ask you questions until the food comes. You get to ask me only one, and then we eat.”

 

       Yūichirō squinted at him. Could he get a better deal? Knowing Mikaela, probably not.

 

       He relaxed in his seat before reluctantly agreeing to the terms. “You’re so stupid, Mika... but whatever.”

 

       “Why are you friends with them?” the blond then asked, ignoring the insult. “I mean, they’re so annoying, and they’re not even nice to you. Why bother?”

 

       “Pft. You’re worse, Mika. And look: I agreed to go on a date with you.” Yūichirō paused. “Wait. Didn’t you say you didn’t want to go out with me?”

 

       Mikaela scoffed. “First of all, I’m better than them.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes.

 

       “Second, I shouldn’t even answer that, but I’ll let it slide this once.” Mikaela removed his arms from the table and finished, “If it wasn’t obvious, what I meant was that I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you. And this isn’t a date.”

 

       “Oh, yeah?” Yūichirō glared at him. “Then what is this?”

 

       “Another question.” Mikaela sighed. “But this is a friendly outing, clearly.”

 

       “Psh.”

 

       “When’s your birthday?”

 

       Yūichirō blinked. “From losing my virginity to my first time self-harming, and now my birthday?”

 

       “Just answer.”

 

       “The sixteenth of October. Yours is the first of May, isn’t it?”

 

       Mikaela ignored his question. “Ever been caught masturbating?”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened. The questions really were all over the place. “N-no!”

 

       “Drank alcohol?”

 

       “Not... really....”

 

       A second passed before Mikaela’s next question, “Gotten a hand or blowjob?”

 

       “N—” Well. “Yeah....”

 

       Mikaela, even though his eyes were covered, looked a little irritated suddenly. At least, more than usual. But before either of them could say anything, their food was delivered to their table.

 

       “I...” Yūichirō started slowly and carefully once the waiter walked away. “I can ask you something now, right?”

 

       Without looking at him, he replied, “Go ahead.”

 

       He felt a little unsettled. The change in their mood was almost drastic, though he tried not to mind too much. Mikaela was starting to give him weird vibes, and he didn’t want to think about it.

 

       Yūichirō cleared his thoughts. It would do him no good thinking about something he didn't want to pressure.

 

       On the contrary, he now thought about what he could ask Mikaela. He knew he had several questions about the blond, but nothing was coming to mind at the moment.

 

       Yūichirō tried to remember by thinking back on everything that happened between them. When they first met, shared the same room, went out, got his pills stolen, finding Mikaela fucking Akane on the couch....

 

       He stopped his train of thought. Why was he having sex with one of his friends, anyway? Did he just randomly get horny? It was so unlike him, though. Mikaela didn’t seem like the type who would start to masturbate just because he thought of something arousing.

 

       Another thing. If Mikaela didn’t trust him enough to be around all times of the day, then why would he leave Yūichirō upstairs to be able to say anything to his friends? No way Mikaela would just fuck Akane because she wanted to when he wasn’t even hard, and no way he’d do that and leave Yūichirō alone to spill his secrets.

 

       Well, he could ask Mikaela right then if he wanted to, but honestly, Yūichirō hated thinking about it. Akane didn’t deserve to get fucked by him. She was no one to Mikaela! And Yūichirō, who had been practically abused—and favored—by the blond, gets nothing? Sure they kiss and tease each other now and then, but where was the sex? The intercourse! The fucking!

 

       It was unfair, really. He didn’t care if it wasn’t out of love. He didn’t care if Mikaela’s dick had been in and out of vaginas since he was born. Yūichirō wanted it inside of his ass, and he wanted that now. He couldn’t let Mikaela leave before they got to fuck. It was absolutely unacceptable.

 

       Fueled with energy and anger, Yūichirō lightly slammed his fist on the table. It rattled the silverware and plates as he asked, “When are you going to fuck me?”

 

       Mikaela, who had been lifting up his spoon to his mouth to take a bite, paused immediately. It hovered there for a moment before he calmly set it down and looked at Yūichirō. Then, not sounding calm at all: “What.

 

       “I asked, when are we going to fuck?” Yūichirō repeated, picking up his fork. “I just think it’s bullshit that you’ll fuck one of my friends you hate soooo much before me.”

 

       “Where the hell is this coming from?”

 

       “Answer the question, dammit!” Yūichirō stabbed his food irritably. “Do you want to fuck me? Is it going to be today, is that what you had planned?”

 

       “No, Yū. What—no. I have absolutely zero plans to have sex with you. That’s—god, no. It’s never going to happen.”

 

       Yūichirō felt insulted. And sad, disappointed, and angry. Which was such a rush of emotions that he then remembered: “I didn’t take my pills.”

 

       Mikaela didn’t seem surprised. “We should’ve taken them with us, but we’ll just make a stop at your house.”

 

       But Yūichirō already started to panic. He set the fork down, staring at his plate. “I-I don’t know.... I should’ve taken them, what? Three hours ago?”

 

       “It’s fine, Yū. Don’t think about it. Either way, you can’t be dependent on them forever.” Mikaela paused and glanced down. “I know it’s not exactly the same, but I can get over my drug addiction easily... as long as I’m with you....”

 

       Yūichirō quietly focused on Mikaela, passively wondering why he’d say that last thing, and if it was true. He doubted it. Did the blond think shitty lies would make him feel better?

 

       “I’m not sure if you could tell,” Mikaela went on. “But I have the worst headache right now. One minute I want to strangle you, and the other I want to shove my cock down your throat. Or kiss you. Or tell you you’re adorable or that you’re a dumbass bitch.

 

       “But I haven’t done any of that yet... because I’m trying hard to show you that you’re appreciated... to some extent.”

 

       “You could prove yourself all you want,” Yūichirō snapped suddenly. “But you’re not really trying if you’re still leaving me.”

 

       “Don’t... say that, Yū. You know that’s not true.”

 

       Yūichirō still felt hurt, but he tried to ignore it. He had to appreciate what Mikaela was saying to him. He had to acknowledge the fact that Mikaela was going out of his way to make him happy. If the blond really didn’t care, Yūichirō wouldn’t even be breathing.

 

       “Can we... can we just....” Yūichirō guiltily stared down at their food that Mikaela would pay for. “Finish eating so I can take my meds? I....” He wanted to apologize, though some part of him knew he had no reason to. Nothing else mattered if Mikaela still planned on leaving him behind as if the entirety of the time they spent together meant nothing.

 

       It awkwardly went silent after that. The mood had gone sour.

 

       After they finished and paid, they were in the car again, driving back to Yūichirō’s house. Still, it was quiet. He couldn’t help but think about all the negative things that happened between the two of them, and how it was slowly getting better only to end in pain. He couldn’t help it, and he hated it.

 

       When they arrived back, Yūichirō was quick to exit the car. Mikaela waited for him as he loudly knocked and rung the doorbell. When Shinya opened it, he didn’t even say anything to his father and dashed into the kitchen.

 

       My sweet, sweet precious pills, he thought as he popped open the bottles once he opened the fridge door. He tossed them in his mouth before putting them away, then grabbed the gallon of water and went to get a cup.

 

       After the pills were in his system, he put everything away before heading back out. He made sure to apologize to Shinya and give him the reason why he had barged in. Once he left and made it back to Mikaela’s car, the blond suddenly broke their entirely-too-awkward silence.

 

       “Can you take this for me?” he asked, offering Yūichirō his phone. “Answer all the questions as accurately and truthfully as possible.”

 

       “Wha....” Yūichirō shut the car door, looking at the phone in his hand. As he put on his seatbelt, he glared at Mikaela. “No way I’m taking some sex test, Mika.”

 

       “Do it.” Mikaela tossed it on his lap before setting the car in reverse. “While I drive. I’m sure you want something on your mind.”

 

       He doubtfully picked up the phone and looked through some of the questions that were already there for him. “Why? What do you need it for?”

 

       “I want to see what it’ll tell you.” Mikaela sighed. “I’ll show you my results after if you want.”

 

       “Hmmmmmm. This is weird....” He began to answer them, feeling odd. What would Mikaela do with these pieces of information...?

 

       “When you answer them,” Mikaela interrupted as he drove, “don’t think about it generally. Think about how it’d apply to you if it involved me.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked. Then he felt heat rise to his face. P-partner? he somehow managed to stutter in his head, the scenario of being tied up—according to the question—by Mikaela playing in his head. He wants to know what, now?

 

       He would have tossed Mikaela’s phone out the window, but now he was curious to see whatever Mikaela’s results would be. In fact, he wondered what the results were in general.

 

       “Okay,” Yūichirō said after what felt like forever, staring at the blank page. “It's loading, I think—”

 

       Since they were at a red light, Mikaela snatched the phone from his hands. Yūichirō blinked at where it just was several times before looking at the thieving blond.

 

       “Damn. One-hundred percent for ‘rope bunny’?”

 

       Yūichirō felt embarrassed. “Don’t tell me—”

 

       The car started to slightly roll forward when the light turned green. “Not surprised that masochist is there. Brat, submissive—pet? ” Mikaela glanced at him in surprise, one hand still holding up the phone and the other on the wheel as he sped up. “You’re into that?”

 

       “No! That test is a lie!” Yūichirō had thought about taking the phone back, but he didn’t want to mess around while Mikaela was driving. “I lied on every question,” he said falsely.

 

       Mikaela just snickered. “Yeah. Right. Everything else on here pretty much makes sense, though.” He lowered the phone to his lap, now paying attention as he made a turn out of the main roads. “Do you like to try new things?”

 

       Yūichirō grumpily looked away. “I guess. Whatever.”

 

       “Good. I have a few kinks I’d love to try with you.”

 

       His heart did flips, apparently. It was like it wanted to drop and skip a beat at the same time. “Why me? Why not on those other bitches you fuck?”

 

       “You’re different. I already told you that. Do you think everyone is a weird fuck like you? No.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “Can you just show me yours and stop stalling?”

 

       “I’m not stalling.” Mikaela made another turn, this time onto grass. Up ahead was a small field, and only a few trees sprouted from the ground here and there. “This place should do it....”

 

       He didn’t even care where they were. “Phone, Mika! I wanna see your stupid results so I can make fun of you for it!”

 

       Mikaela turned off the car engine before picking up his phone. After a few taps, he practically threw it at Yūichirō before unbuckling and exiting the car. “Look at it while we walk. Hurry up before more people show up.”

 

       “This place is garbage!” Yūichirō pointed out loudly as he also took off his seatbelt and exited. He was staring at the phone all the while, though.

 

       Gee... he thought, looking at the words at the top. One-hundred percent on dominant and sadist? Cocky bastard.... Yūichirō followed Mikaela as he processed everything. “What’s a rigger?” he asked, noticing that it also had one-hundred percent. Along with degrader, but he had a pretty good idea of what that was.

 

       “It means I like thinking about you being tied up,” Mikaela answered, sounding far ahead. Yūichirō looked up, noticed he was behind, then caught up. “Completely. Entirely.” Mikaela stopped to turn around and look at him, Yūichirō bumping into his chest in the process. “Not actually, but you get the point.”

 

       He rubbed his nose in slight pain, wondering why they stopped. “Okay. What’s this daddy... slash mommy thing?”

 

       Mikaela then took the phone from him. “It doesn’t matter right now. Look.” After he had shoved his phone in his pocket, he turned Yūichirō towards a tree by the shoulders. “We’re going to carve something.”

 

       “Noooo, I don’t wanna carve!” He sighed tiredly as Mikaela pulled out a switchblade. He blinked several times, then, “Why are—do you carry that around everywhere?”

 

       The blond already began to press the knife against the tree, trying to make a mark. “Of course not. I just brought it for this occasion.” After a second, he had successfully carved an angry-looking M, then offered the blade for Yūichirō to take. “Put yours next to or under, then we’ll carve the ‘and’ together.”

 

       “Can I put it on top?” Yūichirō asked, hovering the switchblade over Mikaela’s letter.

 

       “You can,” Mikaela said nonchalantly. “If you want to end up like that tree over there.”

 

       He had pointed to the side where, in the distance, a tree had sprouted from its roots in the ground. It was split in half, and its bark lay in pieces around it.

 

       Yūichirō cleared his throat and began to carve his Y under Mikaela’s name, leaving space in between for the ‘and.’

 

       “Okay, there. I don’t see why we’re doing this, though.” He handed Mikaela back his switchblade, to which he took and began carving the line to an ampersand.

 

       “Because we can,” Mikaela simply told him, then offered it to him again. “After this, we're going to the mall, so stop complaining.”

 

       “We're going to the mall? What for?” Yūichirō, struggling a bit, began to carve a squiggly mess to complete the symbol.

 

       Mikaela answered his question once he had finished, the two of them staring at their work. “Well, I guess for lack of a better word... our date.”

 

 

....

 

 

He knew he should have seen it coming. Yūichirō was just too tired... too exhausted to be prepared.

 

       Their sweet time browsing and shopping at the mall was nice and quiet and it gave him a warm fuzzy feeling. They didn’t say much to each other, though it didn’t matter. It had been peaceful and relaxing despite their constant walking.

 

       Yūichirō tried not to let Mikaela buy him too many things. Though when they had stopped at a sex store, he couldn’t exactly resist getting some... kinky items....

 

       Fast forward to when they went shopping for food. Well, stuff to bake with. Yūichirō just made sure he got some cereal and snacks for himself, though. Then he told himself: that was it. No more leeching off Mikaela’s money.

 

       But then they went ahead and got lunch at Yūichirō’s favorite restaurant, and he couldn’t resis—

 

       Well, what did it matter? It wasn’t like he needed to, but he’d still make sure he made it up to Mikaela somehow. And especially now that he read Mikaela’s results on that test....

 

       Everything would have to wait after their mini baking contest, though. And now, their shower.

 

       “Why?” Yūichirō said in a hurt tone, wiping off the drippy vanilla frosting from his face. “Why would you do that?”

 

       “Aw, Yū-chan,” Mikaela chuckled, closing the distance between the two of them. He guessed he used that nickname because his parents were in the living room, kicking it back after Guren returned from work.

 

       The blond wrapped his arms around Yūichirō to give him a tight hug, though he didn’t return the gesture. “Leave,” Yūichirō mumbled sadly. “You’re terrible.”

 

       “It’s not as bad as you think,” Mikaela said to try to defend himself, pulling away a bit. Then, in a quiet voice, “Come on. We could go shower real quick while we wait for it to finish baking.”

 

       “Shouldn’t we keep watch?” he asked, blinking up at Mikaela with innocent eyes, though the (purposefully) thin vanilla frosting dripping down his face made him look a different way.

 

       Mikaela shook his head and moved away completely. “We have time.”

 

       They had made three cupcakes each, then cleaned up before Guren could yell at them as they needed to cook dinner soon. They were small, so it’d make for a good mini dessert.

 

       That was saying if they tasted decent, though.

 

       As they went up the stairs, Yūichirō couldn’t help but anticipate their proper shower together. It would be their first time, excluding the first, and he felt it would be both romantic and awkward at the same time.

 

       But after a long day of doing absolutely nothing sexual with Mikaela—other than their remarks and insults—he had to admit that he was starting to crave something. He wanted to feel the blond’s body all over his, claiming him and kissing him and telling Yūichirō how dirty he was. He really, really wanted Mikaela’s kisses.

 

       They gathered their clothes and towels before going to the bathroom, lust hanging in the air. Surely Mikaela was feeling it, too.

 

       “You look ridiculous,” Mikaela unnecessarily pointed out as he shut and locked the door behind them. “With vanilla on your face.”

 

       Yūichirō set the clothes down on the counter and scoffed. “I bet you chose that flavor and made it watery just so you could do that....”

 

       “Yup.”

 

       He doesn’t deny it, Yūichirō thought with a mental sigh. “Mika,” he then said when the blond walked around him to turn on the water in the tub. “Can you get my clothes off for me...? I’m so tired....”

 

       “Oh, yes, I can.” Mikaela moved away and neared him. “I cannot wait to see your marks now. I bet they look fresh and beautiful.”

 

       Yūichirō subconsciously took a step back, though he then lifted up his arms when Mikaela only got closer and began to lift up his sleeved shirt. Once he got it off, he just tossed it to the side and started to pull Yūichirō’s jeans and underwear down.

 

       “You better wear those shorts,” Mikaela said under his breath as he successfully got them off. “All of them.”

 

       He looked off to the side. “Some of them were too short, you know....”

 

       “So?” Mikaela helped him with his socks before standing back up. “You’re wearing them whether you like it or not.”

 

       He quickly moved away from Mikaela and entered the tub that was still filling up with warm water. Then he pulled the curtains and began to wash off the vanilla from his face and body, using his hands as a mini bucket.

 

       “This is great,” Mikaela said after a moment of shuffling, presumably taking off his clothes.

 

       Yūichirō, when finished, moved back to the other side of the tub to sit down. He then wondered what was up with that dumb and random statement.

 

       “I'm glad I can do these things with you. You're amazing, Yū. You're like the person I never knew I wanted... or needed.” Mikaela was then opening the curtains, and Yūichirō’s eyes immediately went to his dick. The blond must have noticed, because he then smiled and said, “Oh? I was about to talk about how you're so perfect for me, but if you're interested in other things....”

 

       Yūichirō only shook his head. “No, thanks. I'm not gonna waste my time when you're only gonna last two seconds....”

 

       To that, Mikaela furrowed his brows immediately, looking offended. “Watch your mouth, bitch. You'll find yourself regretting those words as soon as I put my cock inside of you, you damn hypocrite.”

 

       “Pff.” Yūichirō watched as he entered the tub, also completely naked. The water had gotten higher, though not high enough yet. “You don't even have any plans to fuck me....” He sighed. “Probably because I'm so tight, huh? Another con to having a massive cock....”

 

       Mikaela, after sitting down across from him, scoffed. “I’m dropping this conversation.”

 

       A sign of defeat! Yūichirō smiled to himself, though he didn't want to bother putting energy into arguing with Mikaela anymore. He's finally giving in. I think Mika just turned ninety-nine percent dominant.

 

       “Whatever you're thinking,” Mikaela cut into his thoughts, sounding agitated. “You can stop before I fuck the smirk off your face.”

 

       “Mmm,” Yūichirō hummed, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Shush, Mika. I'm trying to enjoy this moment.”

 

       Mikaela did go quiet, though only to turn off the faucet. “Alright,” he then said the next second, ruining what could have been peace. “Let's actually wash before our cupcakes burn.”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō muttered, moving to comfortably lay back against the tub. “Not yet, okay? I just.... Not yet.” He sunk lower into the water to embrace the warmth. Mika’s probably staring at me like I’m weird for this. But I just... I really like everything right now. I’ve had a good day... other than that little hiccup earlier.

 

       He mentally shook his head, shooing the thoughts off. He’d still need to make it up to Mikaela for being so rude.

 

       “You’re so fucking perfect,” Mikaela suddenly said, surprising him. Yūichirō blinked his eyes open to see the blond staring him down. “Do you know how gorgeous you look with those marks on your body? I’m... I’m trying so hard to contain myself, but....”

 

       Yūichirō subconsciously glanced down, wondering if Mikaela was hard or not. He found himself distracted as he met the blond's gaze to see Mikaela not-so-subtly checking him out.

 

       “You are so nice to look at.... I kind of want you all for myself. Having you must feel so good.”

 

       Yūichirō didn’t respond and only stared back at Mikaela, confused. He didn’t know what was happening.

 

       “I’ll be honest. At first, you were annoying. You appeared so easy to manipulate and vulnerable... but I underestimated you. When you fought back and said things to me no one in your situation would ever dare say to my face.... Oh, fuck I enjoyed that.”

 

       Yūichirō wanted to roll his eyes. He was pretty sure everyone would tell Mikaela to fuck off with the way he treated him at first. Although, he had to admit that part of the reason he ever did that in the first place was to see just how far Mikaela would go to shut him down. And that was coming from his masochistic side; he loved being forced to submit, no matter in what way that would be.

 

       “Mika,” he began tiredly, closing his droopy eyes. “Shhh. Relax.”

 

       “I’m never going to meet anyone else like you, am I?” Mikaela sighed, splashing around. “No one could be as dumb, weird, willing, and sexy as you.”

 

       Yūichirō opened one eye. “And no one could be as conceited, rude, messed up, and pushy as you." He then closed it, crossing his arms.

 

       “Really? Here I am, telling you how I feel, and you decide to insult me?”

 

       “Yeah,” he replied, though he felt a tiny twinge of guilt. “Because you’re annoying, Mika. You think you’re so great just because you got a big cock.”

 

       “I am great just because I have a huge, massive, and wonderful cock.”

 

       Yūichirō blinked open his eyes just to glare at Mikaela. “Right. Is it so amazing that you won’t even put it in me?” Mikaela opened his mouth to speak, but Yūichirō went on, “Whatever. I’m too tired to argue with you.”

 

       “I do put it inside of you...” Mikaela trailed off, moving forwards. “Your mouth, at least.”

 

       Yūichirō watched his every move, wondering what the blond was trying to pull. “I’d be okay with that if you let me give you an actual blowjob.”

 

       “That was one time,” Mikaela defended with a sigh, still nearing him. “And if you really want to, then I’m not stopping you.”

 

       He uncrossed his arms as Mikaela moved in between him, and he tried to scoot back. “What are you doing...?”

 

       “You’re too cute,” Mikaela muttered, glancing down at his lips. He left his sentence there and continued to move closer as if he was about to kiss him. Yūichirō’s eyes fluttered closed and he patiently waited for it, but nothing came.

 

       Yūichirō opened his eyes looked at him curiously. The blond didn’t completely move away from him, but he did sit back.

 

       “Sorry,” he apologized quietly. “I... I guess the lack of nicotine is making me feel all frustrated and confused.” Mikaela let out a deep sigh. “And this headache isn’t helping me either....”

 

       “Why didn’t you take any painkillers?” Yūichirō asked, trying to brush away his disappointment.

 

       Mikaela shook his head. “I wanted to prove to you that you don’t need to be dependent on medication.” He looked up and fiercely met his eyes. “I’m doing just fine with you.”

 

       “Are you?” Yūichirō sarcastically asked. “Seems like you’re struggling a bit.”

 

       “Stop,” Mikaela then said, moving away. “I can’t deal with you pretending you’re better than me. I don’t have the will or strength to shut you down right now.”

 

       Yūichirō honestly didn’t even have the energy to fight back, but he couldn’t let his chance go to waste! “Oh, is that how it is?” Yūichirō pushed away from his side of the tub and neared Mikaela. “So that means I can do whatever I want, and you won’t stop me?”

 

       Mikaela seemed to have realized his mistake in confessing to his current weakness. “Don’t you dare, Yū. I know we’re both tired for this shit right now.”

 

       “No, you’re tired.” Yūichirō then began to mount the blond once he was close enough. He wrapped his arms around Mikaela’s neck and lifted himself onto his lap. “I’ve recovered from my exhaustion and now I’m ready to play.”

 

       Mikaela’s hands, of course, went to Yūichirō’s ass, though they only rested there. Yūichirō’s dick bounced against Mikaela’s stomach while the blond’s cock was positioned under him, though not touching his ass.

 

       “Speaking of,” Mikaela spoke, his fingers grazing over the healed nicks. “Are you really into pet play? Like, pretending you’re an animal or something?”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō denied, flushing at the thought of that. “That’s weird, Mika.”

 

       The blond shrugged. “Some people are into that.”

 

       “I just....” Yūichirō looked away, forgetting about his plans to mess with Mikaela for the moment. “Getting taken care of isn’t the worst thing in the world....”

 

       “That’s weird, considering your masochism.”

 

       He rolled his eyes. “I like the thought of it, that’s all. Now,” he then said, moving closer mischievously. “This reminds me. Someone had a suspicious looking result I didn’t know of....”

 

       Mikaela furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

 

       “Oh, I dunno....” Yūichirō leaned in closer and lowered his head to press his lips against Mikaela’s neck. He kissed up a trail to the blond’s jawline before muttering, “I’ll tell you if you fuck me, daddy.”

 

       He felt Mikaela’s hands tighten their grip on his ass. “No,” he mumbled, looking away from Yūichirō’s gaze. “That’s not what....”

 

       “What’s wrong?” he asked, now smirking as he felt something else touch his behind. “Mm, daddy,” he moaned. “Please fuck me really good, okay? But be gentle....”

 

       Mikaela moved his hands and lifted them up to grip his shoulders. “Okay, Yū. I get your point. Stop now so we can go eat and sleep peacefully, alright? This day has been long enough already.”

 

       Yūichirō ignored him as he pushed him back. He only tried to move forward, pressing down in order to feel Mikaela’s cock. “Daddy... please fuck me. I want your cock inside of me.”

 

       “Stop....”

 

       “Daddy,” Yūichirō said in a whiny voice again, slightly bouncing on his lap despite not being able to feel anything. The movements would count, hopefully. “Mika... you’ll give me what I want, won’t you?”

 

       “No. Get off.”

 

       Yūichirō only shoved his hands off and gripped Mikaela’s shoulders to bounce on him easily, pretending that he was riding him, or something. He wanted Mikaela to give in or shut him down. “Mika... daddy... M—”

 

       “Yū?” someone said from outside the door after knocking. It was Shinya. “Is... that you? Where’s Mikaela?”

 

       He immediately stopped bouncing and began to scramble off the blond. “He’s—uh... uhh, I think he stepped outside to take a phone c-call? Uh....”

 

       “Well, do you want me to take out the cupcakes, then? They looked like they might start burning up soon.”

 

       “Y-yeah,” Yūichirō stammered, sitting down on the other side of the tub again. Mikaela was looking down, a hand (hardly) covering his oversized cock.

 

       “Okay....”

 

       With that, it went quiet, and Yūichirō just awkwardly rubbed at his arm.

 

       “Well, someone got better at lying,” Mikaela pointed out, looking up.

 

       “I get it from you,” he retorted, glaring at Mikaela. “I hate lying to my parents, but you pretty much give me no choice....”

 

       The blond began to stand up, a hand still on his cock. “Let’s just shower instead. If we bathe, it’s going to take forever, and I don’t want Shinya to find me not outside.”

 

       “Why are you covering your stupid boner?” Yūichirō asked, also standing up. “You act like I care or haven’t seen what it looks like.”

 

       Mikaela sighed. “I can’t believe I got hard over that... of all things.”

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty obvious why: Mikaela was simply growing deeper feelings for him. It’d only be a matter of time before they were official boyfriends, fucking every night and morning. And Yūichirō couldn’t wait.

Chapter Text

It was nearing Sunday afternoon. Guren didn’t have work, and Shinya was also at home. So, Yūichirō and Mikaela stayed up in the room upstairs... making out.

 

       They were both sitting down on the bed, Yūichirō with his legs crisscrossed and Mikaela with his hanging over the bed. Since they couldn’t ever separate from each other—and they couldn’t stop arguing—what came from pointless bickering went to a passionate make out session.

 

       Yūichirō leaned in every time Mikaela’s kisses would push him backwards. He was getting the hang of how to respond and act which it so much better. He had definitely improved since their first kiss.

 

       He furrowed his brows at the thought of it. What was their first kiss? Or rather, what counted? He could remember the one where Akane was present, or the one in front of Shinya. Yūichirō was pretty sure the one with Shinya was their first, but he’d like to think their consensual kisses were the only ones that counted. Which was kind of hard to determine, but if Yūichirō had to choose, it would be the one right before Shinoa had found out about them.

 

       Yūichirō winced, feeling a little turned off at the thought of his friends. Mikaela seemed to realize that he suddenly became uncomfortable, because he leaned away, their lips separating gently. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, sounding genuinely concerned.

 

       He opened his eyes to meet with Mikaela’s, though he was unable to handle the intense look in them, so he glanced off to the side. “Nothing... just thinking....”

 

       “It’s not nothing if you’re thinking it,” Mikaela stated, bringing up his legs to the bed. He fully turned to Yūichirō, crisscrossing them. “Most of the time, anyway. Tell me what’s up.”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head, meeting his gaze. “I was trying to figure out what our first kiss was.”

 

       “Really?” Mikaela asked curiously. “Wouldn’t that be the one in front of Shinya?”

 

       He itched his cheek nervously. “I was thinking more of a consensual one.”

 

       “Oh... then what would that be?”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head again. “We can talk about this later,” he said, scooting closer. He moved to sit on his legs before using Mikaela’s knees to push himself closer. “Let’s just make out, daddy.”

 

       “Shut up,” Mikaela nearly growled, his eyes glancing down at Yūichirō’s lips. They both closed their eyes before connecting their lips together, continuing their gentle kisses.

 

       He lightly moaned into it, trying to position himself to sit on Mikaela’s lap. But the blond kept pushing him back with just their lips, and eventually Yūichirō had leaned back enough to the point where Mikaela could go on top of him instead. His back met the mattress, their lips separating momentarily until Mikaela went back in.

 

       Yūichirō lifted his legs up slightly as Mikaela was in between them, the blond’s knees snaking under his thighs and pressing down on the bed on either sides of his hips.

 

       I’m so glad we locked the door, he thought to himself, knowing how his parents seemed to always show up at the wrong time. They hadn’t bothered them yet, but it was better safe than sorry.

 

       On another note, Yūichirō was having fun messing with Mikaela by using the word ‘daddy’ and all the jokes about his cock. He finally had some good leverage! Not only that, but his comebacks were on point, and sometimes Mikaela would have to resort to calling him names because he didn’t come up with anything clever.

 

       Well, Yūichirō was pretty sure he was winning all those arguments. (And he was, or so he thought. But he was. Maybe.)

 

       He let the thoughts fade from his mind and instead tried to focus on their kiss that had picked up the pace. It was still slow and delicate, but Yūichirō was sure Mikaela was getting a little more into it than earlier.

 

       Yūichirō rose up one hand to the blond’s hair, though his other one was trapped under Mikaela’s hand, which is what he just realized when he tried to move it. Being pinned under him was such a norm that he didn’t even notice it anymore.

 

       He didn’t know how long Mikaela could go at their make-out session. The blond never seemed to get tired, while Yūichirō’s mouth was starting to ache. They never even brought their tongues into the equation, and at first, he didn’t know why. He’d assume Mikaela was just trying to keep it passionate and nice, but then again... it wasn’t really like him.

 

       Whatever. Yūichirō was getting better at it the more time they spent kissing like that, anyway. He could finally keep up and follow the rhythm.

 

       He wasn’t perfect, unfortunately, and eventually he’d lose it. But Mikaela would seem to take the hint, because he’d pull away, they’d breathe, then go back at it again.

 

       And he was getting back into the kiss so deeply that he was starting to forget about thinking, his only focus on trying to impress Mikaela.

 

       Their lips pressed together when occasionally locking perfectly, then both of them would suck on each other’s upper or bottom lip and make a delicious sound. Mikaela seemed to take his bottom one in all the time, and it was something Yūichirō wanted to wonder about, but every time a thought would come by, he’d forget the next second. Though he would try to remember and ask Mikaela about it later.

 

       The blond’s nose brushed against Yūichirō’s as he tilted his head the other way, changing it up a bit... again.

 

       Yūichirō was seeing pitch black as he moaned a bit, nearly unable to keep up anymore. Mikaela didn’t go any faster, but he didn’t quit, either. After a few moments, Yūichirō was about to say something....

 

       ...Until he heard his friends entering the house loudly downstairs.

 

       He tried to sit up, but Mikaela responded by keeping him in place, pulling at Yūichirō’s bottom lip with his own until it left his mouth. Then, he moved away to help him sit up.

 

       “Mika—” Yūichirō started, though he was interrupted by Mikaela kissing him again. They completed about two or three before Yūichirō went on, “Hurry. Closet—mnh....” Another kiss.

 

       “Why are they here?” Mikaela hissed after he finally pulled away, getting off the bed.

 

       “I don’t know,” he mumbled honestly, following Mikaela. “Shit. Maybe it’s because I didn’t answer Shinoa yester—”

 

       Once again, Mikaela was on his lips after he had turned around at the door. The blond opened it all the while, and a moment later, he moved away and exited the room, Yūichirō following behind him.

 

       He heard his friend’s footsteps up the stairs as Mikaela just opened the closet door. Yūichirō ushered him inside, but apparently the blond thought it was a good idea to kiss a few more times.

 

       “Yū-san!” Shinoa said almost angrily, now at the top of the steps. Since Yūichirō had pushed Mikaela away at the same time, he could reach forwards and shut the door in Mikaela’s face.

 

       “Sh-Shinoa,” he stammered, trying to look as innocent as possible. He pat down his hair while the rest of his friends gathered behind her. “It’s uh... great to see you!”

 

       “Sure it is,” she said suspiciously, stomping up to him. Once they were close, she glared up at him, staring intently and searching his face.

 

       Mitsuba, Shihō, and Yoichi were in the back, slowly walking up behind her. They looked confused and curious. Separately, Mitsuba appeared angry, Yoichi looked worried, and Shihō either didn’t care or was bothered that he was dragged along.

 

       “Why are you... uh....” Yūichirō turned away awkwardly. He knew Mikaela could hear the conversation. “Here?”

 

       “Because you’ve been ignoring me.” Shinoa then waved her arms towards the rest of the group. “Us!

 

       “Uhhh....”

 

       “Tch,” Mitsuba interjected, shoving past them and Shinoa. She pushed the lilac-haired girl to the side before glaring up at Yūichirō. “You could at least give us a good reason why.”

 

       Shinoa didn’t seem to pay Mitsuba’s actions any mind. “Yeah! Why don’t you go ahead and tell us, Yū? We deserve to know.” She then obviously winked, earning her the weirdest look from Mitsuba.

 

       What is she trying to pull? he thought suspiciously, squinting at her. “We can talk in my room,” he then said, still conscious of Mikaela’s close presence. “So we’re not crowding the hallway....”

 

       Shihō started walking up, Yoichi’s hand in his own as he dragged the smaller boy along. “What happened to ‘we should spend as much time together as possible’?” His pink-haired friend pointed out, deliberately avoiding Yūichirō’s gaze.

 

       “That’s true,” Mitsuba said with a nod. “You were always trying to hang out with us... and now....”

 

       “Let me talk to him,” Shinoa then told the group, but Shihō and Yoichi already went into his room. “For just a second, Micchan.”

 

       Yūichirō hesitated, glancing at the closet door.

 

       “Yeah, whatever, I guess.” Mitsuba gave Yūichirō a long, stern look before hmph’ing and pointedly walking past him.

 

       Once they heard the door behind them close, Shinoa started speaking. “Alright, Yū, what’s up? How are things with Mikaela-san?”

 

       He awkwardly started to walk forwards, trying to slyly get away from the closet door. “Uh... fine, I guess....”

 

       Shinoa turned around to face him, crossing her arms and staying right where she was. “He’s the reason you’ve been ignoring us, huh?”

 

       Yūichirō, now meeting her gaze, tried not to look guilty. “Shinoa, look, he’s going to be leaving soon. I should spend as much time with him as possible before that happens. Once—”

 

       “Tell them that,” she interrupted, pointing behind her at his room door. “Tell them that so they understand.”

 

       “No,” he simply said, unintentionally glaring at her. “Why should I? It’s a secret between us, Shinoa. They don’t need to know.”

 

       “Yes, they do. Don’t you see how Mitsuba feels about this?” She lowered her arms, looking down. “She’s leaving the state, Yoichi and Kimizuki found a nice apartment they can live together in... five hours from here. And I’m going to work with my sister. Mahiru! You know how she is. We’re—” her voice cracked, “—we’re not going to be as close as we are.... Were.”

 

       Yūichirō eyes guiltily met the floor.

 

       “You’re actually throwing away our friendship for some crush,” she then said, making him look up at her. “And I get that you care about him and he saved you, but what about us? Haven’t we done the same for you, too? We were always there for you. But then a celebrity stops by and suddenly he’s the only one that matters!”

 

       “That’s not true, Sh—”

 

       “Not only that, but you need to stop keeping secrets... it’s only going to end up hurting you when we’re all gone. Mikaela-san’s leaving, too, and when he does, you’re gonna come to us. But we’re not going to be there.”

 

       Yūichirō’s stomach churned awfully. That was true, wasn’t it? He had everything now, but in just a few weeks, he’d have nothing. He’d stay at home all day doing absolutely nothing while getting rejected from all work.

 

       “I’m sorry for getting all serious like this,” Shinoa continued bitterly. “But everyone’s worried about you. They’ll understand if you tell them it’s Mikaela-san. There’s no reason for you not to. You trust us, don’t you?”

 

       “It’s...” he started slowly, trying not to bite his lip. “It’s not my secret to tell....”

 

       “Your parents abusing you for sixteen years isn’t your secret to tell, either?”

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened. “What—”

 

       “Trying to kill yourself five times in a row isn’t something you think your best friends should know?” she went on, taking a step closer. “Or that you take two pills every morning so that—”

 

       “Stop!” he interrupted, hurrying up to her so that he could cover her mouth. “They might—”

 

       She shoved him away before he could touch her. “I’m tired of keeping these secrets away for you! Don’t you think it hurts me when Micchan comes to me crying about you?”

 

       He winced, staying still.

 

       “Everyone comes to me because I’m so cheerful and happy all the damn time! It’s tiring. I’m sick of it. I just want everyone to have a good time before we have to separate for probably ever, but we can’t because we’re worried about you.”

 

       Shinoa turned around so that she didn’t have to look at him, though Yūichirō could see her arms move as she wiped her eyes. “If you really had to choose,” she went on, “between us or Mikaela-san, you would pick him, wouldn’t you? You would rather spend our last month together with him.”

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t answer.

 

       The silence dragged on for only a few moments before she finally continued, “I see. So it was just a mistake coming here.”

 

       He looked down, now biting his lower lip, feeling horrible.

 

       “Can I at least ask you something?” she continued, still not facing him. “Does Mikaela know?”

 

       He immediately knew what she was talking about.

 

       Yūichirō didn’t respond.

 

       She scoffed. “That’s what I thought. It’s funny how you’ll waste our last summer with him rather than us when we know so much more about you than he does. Well, I do, anyway.” Shinoa glanced back at him and with sad eyes, she finished, “Because you clearly don’t trust us when you’re so sure we’ll see you differently after what you’ve been through and what you’ve done.”

 

       With that, she faced ahead towards his room door and walked away, probably about to call their friends out to leave.

 

       And Mika heard all of that, he thought bitterly, a smile etching his lips. Well, I can’t wait to see how that’s gonna turn out!

 

       He looked up when the door to his room spread open wider, and his friends began to pile out, clearly giving him weird looks. Shinoa glared him down all the while, and awkwardly and silently, they started to go down the stairs.

 

       I could make a run for it, he thought, glancing up at the closet door. I could just run away and never see anyone again.

 

       Or....

 

       Yūichirō turned around and blankly walked towards the bathroom, his mind a blurry haze.

 

       Downstairs, he could faintly hear Shinoa and Shinya talking for only a few moments before the main house door shut loudly, and by that time, he had already entered the bathroom.

 

       I missed this, he thought, closing and locking the door behind him. He paused for only a moment before opening up the medicine cabinet only to find the blade missing.

 

       What.

 

       “A little too obvious,” Mikaela said from outside the door. “I was wondering why your parents didn’t take it out sooner, but....”

 

       Yūichirō went down to his knees before banging his head on the cabinet doors a few times.

 

       “Stop it, Yū. Open the door.”

 

       He paused, remembering that Mikaela’s cigarettes were there. Yūichirō opened it up and reached inside for the bottle of lotion. “No,” he replied. “Not unless you give me a lighter.”

 

       “A l—” Mikaela audibly sighed before trying the knob. “Open, Yū. Right now.”

 

       Yūichirō carefully picked it up before shaking the bottle a few times. After a moment, the pack fell out, and he already started to pull out a cigarette.

 

       This isn’t the best thing in the world, he thought with a shrug, inspecting it. But it damages my body, so whatever.

 

       Mikaela had went quiet, though Yūichirō hardly paid attention. His only problem now was that he had no way to light one up. He doubted there were a box of matches or a lighter since neither of his parents smoked. Unless it was to light up a candle, though he was pretty sure that would be downstairs.

 

       “Mika?” he called, looking at the door. If he wasn’t there, then maybe Yūichirō could run to his room in time.

 

       No response.

 

       He stared at it for a moment. Should he take his chances—

 

       The knob rattled before it turned. The door was now open, and Yūichirō had no time to react before Mikaela was grabbing his wrist that held the cigarette, squeezing it so tight that Yūichirō let go.

 

       “S-stop, that hurts—”

 

       “Does it?” Mikaela snapped, releasing him. Yūichirō held onto his wrist at the pain, taking a step back. “It seemed like you had no problem with pain, given your intentions.”

 

       Yūichirō stayed quiet, feeling scolded.

 

       “What do I not know?” the blond pressured, taking a step closer. “Tell me.”

 

       He only shook his head and whimpered, trying to move away.

 

       Mikaela gripped his shoulders. “Why won’t you tell me? I thought we were past this already, Yū.”

 

       “It doesn’t matter!” he responded, pushing Mikaela off. He began to storm past the blond, but he was stopped by his arm.

 

       “What happened to you does matter,” Mikaela argued, pulling him so that they were facing each other. “To me, at least. I don’t give a shit if you don’t care.”

 

       Yūichirō tried to tug his arm away. “I don’t care enough to tell you.”

 

       Suddenly, Mikaela released him, and he was stumbling forwards to the ground. “So you’re saying you don’t care about me?” he rephrased incorrectly, sounding pissed. “You don’t care that it hurts me when you keep things from me?”

 

       “That’s not what I—”

 

       He was interrupted by a hand in his hair pulling him up to his feet. Mikaela took his ear next and dragged him out of the bathroom just like that, out into the hallway. When they got to the closet, he was shoved so hard that he went back to the ground.

 

       “Mika—” he tried to start, turning around so that he could see the blond. But Mikaela just closed the door and walked down to where his luggages were, unzipping them in a hurried manner. “What... what are you doing?”

 

       No response.

 

       After Mikaela pulled out something, he went back to Yūichirō who had turned only slightly to see him. But he faced forwards as Mikaela sat down in front of him, the switchblade in his hand now obvious.

 

       Yūichirō’s eyes widened, though he didn’t have time to think of all the possibilities of the next moment when Mikaela grabbed his hand and tucked the switchblade in it.

 

       “Cut me,” Mikaela said simply, holding his bare arm out. “Do it, Yū. If you don’t care, then cut me right now.”

 

       Yūichirō only shook his head, eyes wide and staring down at the switchblade in his hand.

 

       “What’s the matter?” Mikaela sneered, pushing his chin upwards. “Don’t you want to hurt me for all the things I’ve done to you?”

 

       Yūichirō shook his head again, tears welling up in his eyes.

 

       “No?” Mikaela snatched the switchblade from his hand and did a small motion to flick the knife out. “Then how about you just watch?”

 

       “No!” Yūichirō reached forwards to take it away from him, but Mikaela pushed him back.

 

       “Don’t you want to match?” Mikaela asked, adjusting the position of the knife vertically. “Wouldn’t that be cute?”

 

       “P-please don’t—”

 

       “Too late,” Mikaela said, about to drag it down. Without being stopped this time, Yūichirō quickly reacted to prevent the blade from making contact with his skin. His eyes blurred with tears, scared that he’d scar Mikaela because of his own selfishness. He couldn’t let it happen; he’d never live it down.

 

       “Mika,” he cried once he barely got ahold of it with his furiously shaking hands. “Stop! I’m sorry. I-I’m going to tell you now...."

 

       “I thought you didn’t care enough to tell me.”

 

       He sobbed in response, shaking his head. Yūichirō tossed the switchblade away before mounting Mikaela’s lap for a hug. He made sure to wrap his arms around him tightly. “I’m so sorry,” he spluttered, shaking.

 

       Mikaela pat his head with a hand. “Stop crying. You need to man up and stop being a bitch.”

 

       “But... I’m scared... you’d end up scarred like me... and die b-because of the blood loss....”

 

       “I wasn’t going to die,” Mikaela told him. “Don’t be stupid. Just get off of me and confess before I take that switchblade back.”

 

       Yūichirō nodded fast, eyes wide. “U-um,” he stammered, only obeying that second request and trying to figure out where to start. “I was in a... mental hospital.”

 

       If the blond had a problem with his position, he didn’t say anything. “As I’ve heard. For how long?”

 

       He hesitated. “A year....”

 

       “A year? When was this?”

 

       Yūichirō avoided his intense glare by looking down, fiddling with his fingers. “A few months ago, I got out.”

 

       “Hmm.... So you were admitted last year?” Mikaela then asked. Uncomfortably, Yūichirō could feel him staring. “And you got out sometime this year?”

 

       He shook his head. “I got out before this year started.”

 

       “So that’s why you didn’t get your meds until recently, huh?” Mikaela paused. “Did you get in because of your five suicide attempts that were ‘in a row’?”

 

       “...Yeah.”

 

       “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

       “Because.... I... I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to know.” He glanced up when he briefly wondered if the blond’s expression relaxed.

 

       Mikaela went quiet for a moment, though he still kept inspecting him. “Are you keeping anything else from me?”

 

       “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Probably. But I can’t think of anything right now.”

 

       “Well, when it comes to mind, can you tell me?”

 

       Yūichirō glanced up at him. Did he have a choice? Wouldn’t Mikaela just threaten him the same way again? “I... I guess... yeah.”

 

       Presumably reading his thoughts, Mikaela chuckled. “I’m sorry. I think I overreacted.”

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t help but glare up at him, though his blinks made tears threaten to roll down his cheeks. “You think? I can’t believe....” He looked down. “I can’t believe you were about to mess up your body. You really would’ve done it, too, if I didn’t stop you.”

 

       His eyes widened and he suddenly thought to check Mikaela’s arm. Shifting a bit on his lap, Yūichirō snatched his hand to make sure he wasn’t bleeding or anything.

 

       The blond let him. “I could say the same thing to you,” Mikaela retorted. “With slight wording differences, since you’ve already messed yourself up. Although... maybe it’s not the same. You probably only started doing it for your masochism, and maybe that’s a good excuse, I guess.”

 

       It was only a joke, but Yūichirō winced.

 

       “Holy shit.”

 

       “Looks like you’re good,” Yūichirō interrupted as he dropped the blond’s arm. He tried to move to stand up. “I’ll be in my room.”

 

       “Hold up,” Mikaela said, holding him down in place. “We’re not leaving this conversation without a proper response to that. Yū. Did you start cutting because it turned you on?”

 

       Yūichirō whimpered and buried his face into Mikaela’s neck as if it would prevent the question from being asked.

 

       “Don’t be so embarrassed,” Mikaela said, sounding amused. “I mean, that’s really weird, but for you, I guess it.... Yeah, no. I can’t wrap my head around this. I thought you did it because you were depressed—which would explain the suicide scar you have. But I guess you just did it for two reasons, huh? Yū, did you... get off after slitting your—”

 

       “No!” he exclaimed as he finally stood up from him. “No, no! Never!”

 

       Mikaela tilted his head upwards as Yūichirō stepped away. “I want to know exactly what made you start.”

 

       Yūichirō groaned, wiping his face with his sleeves while the blond got up. “Stop pressuring me.”

 

       “Pretty please?” Mikaela asked, sounding a little monotone, which was unusual for that phrase. “I’ll do whatever you want if you tell me.”

 

       How about you be quiet? he thought, but then.... “Anything? Really, anything?”

 

       Mikaela immediately seemed to grow suspicious. “What do you have in mind?”

 

....

 

“Mika,” Yūichirō said quietly, rolling over on his bed to see where the blond was. When he saw him still on the air mattress on his phone, he smiled. “Can you get me some water?”

 

       Mikaela turned his head to glare up at him. “Didn’t I give you water hardly thirty minutes ago?”

 

       “I want more,” he said. “And you’re not talking back, are you? What happened to that deal we made...?”

 

       Mikaela sighed in response before clicking off his phone and getting up from his bed.

 

       “Thank you!” Yūichirō drawled out as the blond began to leave the room. He settled back into his bed and cuddled into his blankets comfortably. Then, he shut his eyes. He should get a little bit of rest for the moment.

 

       Almost seven hours ago, after his friends had stormed off and Mikaela cut himself, he was starting to feel a little better. After all, he had Mikaela with him, and it was nice. Really nice.

 

       In fact, that’s all it would ever be for a straight week—nice!

 

       They made a deal that, for every day that passes, Yūichirō would tell him something about himself or his past, and then Mikaela would have to be nice to him for the remainder of the twenty-four hours. That meant he’d do whatever Yūichirō asked of him, no matter what it was. And he couldn’t talk back nor could he be generally rude.

 

       So far, he was enjoying it. Being able to boss Mikaela around was the best thing ever! It put a smile on his face knowing how Mikaela wanted to do so much to him, yet couldn’t. It put a really big smile on his face.

 

       He even had a plan. A really mean and messed up plan, but it was time Mikaela gets what was coming to him. Especially after the mean thing he did that day. And the first part of Yūichirō’s revenge would happen tonight.

 

       Yūichirō was just extremely impatient. But he couldn’t ruin everything, so he’d have to deal with it. As long as he remembered it would all be worth it in the end, he could get through it.

 

       Mikaela, though? Maybe not.

 

       Yūichirō stretched devilishly and sat up before throwing the blankets off of him. He hurriedly got out of the bed and walked to the door so he could lock it... just in case Mikaela got back before he was ready.

 

       They had already eaten and showered, so their parents probably finished doing the same, too. That meant—hopefully—the rest of their night would be undisturbed.

 

       He went over to the dresser, though not in front of it, and picked up the black bag sitting on the floor. His cheeks were already heating up, but he tried to ignore it and instead walked back to his bed to get dressed. He dumped its contents down on it before sighing.

 

       I can’t believe I’m going to do this just to make Mika’s life a living hell.

 

       He paused, staring at the outfit in front of him.

 

       What am I saying? This is perfectly believable. Yūichirō nodded to himself and started to get undressed. He deserves this, in a mean way. Yeah. I’d do anything to make Mika’s life a living hell.

 

       “Yū?” Mikaela said from outside the door, knocking. “Why the f—I.... What are you doing in there? Why is the door locked?”

 

       “No reason,” he called to him, stuffing his clothes into the bag. “Just give me five minutes.”

 

       Mikaela went quiet for only a second. “You’re not looking through my phone, are you?”

 

       “Psshhh. Why would I do that?”

 

       No response. Yūichirō just focused on fixing the maid’s dress on before pulling up the thigh-high stockings up his legs. He adjusted the strap that held them up before grabbing the headband and bag. On his way to the door, he tossed the bag back to where the dresser was, then put the headband on.

 

       He was fixing it when he unlocked the door, to which Mikaela opened the next second after and pretty much froze.

 

       “How do I look?” Yūichirō nearly stammered, shying away from Mikaela’s gaze, lowering his hands.

 

       Mikaela ignored his question and set down the glass of water on the floor before advancing towards him. Yūichirō quickly put his hands to the blond’s chest before he could get any closer, then pushed him back.

 

       “If you want something tonight,” Yūichirō mumbled quietly, pointing to the bed. “Then you have to sit there and behave.”

 

       Mikaela glared at him for a long moment before walking away, though towards the bed. Yūichirō forced down his smile and shut the door, locking it up again.

 

       It was showtime.

 

       Yūichirō carefully walked around the air mattress and towards Mikaela, who was clearly impatient as he stared Yūichirō down, sitting on the edge.

 

       “What are you thinking?” Yūichirō asked as he stopped in front of him. Mikaela looked him up and down, leaning back on his hands.

 

       “About you, obviously.”

 

       Yūichirō hiked up the bottom of his dress to reveal more of his thigh before mounting the blond, both hands on his shoulders to help himself up. Once both of his knees were straddling Mikaela’s hips, he scooted up further until their crotches pressed together.

 

       “Did you want to have sex?” Mikaela asked, looking up at him curiously. He looked calm, though he already seemed pretty bothered by the way he adjusted under Yūichirō.

 

       He shrugged, looking off to the side. “I dunno. Do I?”

 

       Mikaela’s hands had snaked under the dress and to his ass, but Yūichirō hurriedly slapped them away.

 

       “No,” he scolded before crossing his arms behind Mikaela’s neck. “Don’t touch me.”

 

       The blond furrowed his brows, already looking irritated. “But—”

 

       “No buts,” Yūichirō said with a smile, tilting his head. “And definitely no touching mine, either.” Then, he leaned in to give Mikaela a feather-like kiss on the lips, but that was all he gave him. “Lay down, Mika,” he ordered, moving off the blond though not off the bed. “And hurry up with it.”

 

       Mikaela couldn’t protest or say anything about it, making Yūichirō smirk. He watched as the blond turned around and began to do as Yūichirō ordered. Once he was on his back, Yūichirō went on top of him again, though now he sat on the blond’s legs so that he could lower his pants.

 

       A little hesitant, Yūichirō hooked his fingers under both items of clothing before pulling it down. Mikaela stared at him all the while, making him uncomfortable.

 

       “You can wear that and tease me but you can’t—” Mikaela seemed to catch himself, because he just sighed and left his sentence like that.

 

       Yūichirō tried not to snicker and instead fully pulled it down further, Mikaela’s cock now free of the fabric. Yūichirō, despite having his mouth all over it the other day, was unable to look at it. So, he just repositioned himself on top of his cock to completely cover it, his ass gently brushing against it.

 

       “C-can you...” Yūichirō stammered, glancing down.

 

       “Yeah,” Mikaela answered, somehow knowing what he was trying to say. The blond leaned up a bit to reach his hand under Yūichirō’s dress. Yūichirō felt the blond’s cock brush against him as he held it up. Then, Yūichirō pressed down a bit to keep it in place, and Mikaela removed his hand.

 

       Yūichirō pushed him back on the mattress. “Thanks,” he muttered, then bit his lip in concentration, feeling Mikaela’s cock harden on his. He gripped the blond’s shirt for assistance as he moved back and forth, trying to grind on him.

 

       “You’re so weird,” Mikaela suddenly pointed out, embarrassing him.

 

       “You can’t say stuff like that,” Yūichirō managed to say. He was already getting tired.

 

       “No, seriously,” Mikaela went on, now staring up at the ceiling. “You went from crying your eyes out to being horny.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed, stopping. He didn’t even know what he was doing. “Shut up, Mika. When we were kissing, you had me excited for something. But instead my friends came over.” He sighed again at the thought, remembering how that went.

 

       “Hey....” Mikaela sat up, making Yūichirō sit back and away from his cock. “Yū, you know... if you want to invite them over, you can. Or if you want to hang out with them....”

 

       He shook his head. “No, I want to be with you.”

 

       Mikaela stayed quiet for a good moment. Yūichirō just stared down, messing with the apron.

 

       “Then...” Mikaela continued. “Then we could all hang out, or something. I won’t mind.”

 

       Yūichirō looked up. “R-really? But... they’ll know you’re with me....”

 

       “I’ll act how I usually do in front of other people,” Mikaela offered. “And we won’t be obvious that we have something going on.”

 

       “Are you sure?” Yūichirō felt doubtful. “I know you don’t really like them....”

 

       “I’m positive. I don’t want to get in the way of your friendships, and it’s better for you to spend time with them.” Mikaela sighed. “And since you like me better than them, I’ll be there, too.”

 

       Yūichirō shoved him back playfully. “Idiot.”

 

       “Whatever.” Mikaela’s hands slyly went back down to his ass. “Do you want me to take control now? I’m far better at this than you are.”

 

       “Nope!” Yūichirō grabbed his hands and forced them away. “And you can’t insult me, remember?”

 

       Mikaela rolled his eyes. “I told you before, Yū. This deal you made is only going to end up turning on you. You’re gonna end up begging to be dominated.”

 

       “No, thanks.” Yūichirō started to get off of him. “I’m doing the dominating right now, and I’m... enjoying it. Yeah. This is great.

 

       He cleared his throat in case Mikaela thought he was being sarcastic.

 

       “Right.” Mikaela watched him as he got off the bed and went to his knees. “What are we doing now?”

 

       Yūichirō turned around to face the air mattress. “You mean, what am I doing? I’m giving you another blowjob.”

 

       “You should just let me fuck your thighs, or something,” Mikaela said with a longing sigh as he moved from the bed. “You would look so amazing underneath me with that dress on....”

 

       “Shhh,” he shushed, licking his lips when Mikaela sat in front of him. He crawled forwards on his knees before gathering all the saliva in his mouth. Yūichirō lifted up Mikaela’s cock with a hand, then lowered his head to lick at the base slowly.

 

       The blond twitched in his hand, already starting to harden under Yūichirō’s super wet tongue. “Hey,” Yūichirō then said when he pulled away, looking up at Mikaela. “You’re not gonna come before I can get to the good stuff, are you?”

 

       Mikaela only shook his head, scooting closer and silently urging for Yūichirō to continue.

 

       “You get harder a lot easier now,” Yūichirō said aloud, almost to himself. He jacked Mikaela’s cock with his hand for a second before moving his mouth closer, his eyes still making contact with Mikaela’s. He knew his cheeks were heating up and he kept glancing away every now and then, but he was sure he was doing a good job, anyway.

 

       Yūichirō licked his cock all over, making sure to fake a few moans and slick it up. He couldn’t wait to stop once Mikaela was fully hard and see how the blond would react in the midst of his release. He would be so disappointed and so bothered! Yūichirō wanted to see just how desperate he’d get.

 

       Mikaela sighed as Yūichirō began to suck on it. He felt incredibly lewd in his actions and what he was doing, and he was loving it. Yūichirō wished he could take Mikaela’s cum to the face and in the mouth, but he already had that happen recently.

 

       “Your cock is so amazing, daddy,” he moaned before he took it back inside his mouth, moving his head back and forth. He pulled all the way back for it to leave his mouth and then continued, “Mika, am I doing this right?”

 

       “Yeah,” Mikaela stammered, his hands gripping the edge of the air mattress. Clearly he wanted to hold onto Yūichirō’s hair.

 

       “Go ahead,” Yūichirō said with a smirk, pausing for only that moment. He licked his cock before adding, “You can do whatever you want to me now. I’ll let you scold me if I do something wrong, daddy. Punish me if I misbehave.”

 

       Mikaela grabbed the headband from his head and tossed it to the side before gripping his hair tightly, using both hands. “Oh, yeah, Yū. Fuck. Take it deeper.”

 

       “Yeah?” Yūichirō moaned before doing just as he said, teasingly letting it touch the back of his throat. He then dragged his cock out of his mouth despite Mikaela’s hands trying to weakly keep his head still. “Like that?”

 

       “Yes.”

 

       Yūichirō smiled and pushed Mikaela’s cock against his inner cheek, pressing the tip to it. Mikaela’s grip in his hair tightened in response.

 

       He’s pretty much fully hard, I think.... Yūichirō repositioned it so that it could slide against his tongue as he started bobbing his head back and forth. So now I wait just a bit before stopping.

 

       He forced down his growing smirk and instead shut his eyes so he could focus on moving his head faster, trying to keep his mouth open wide all the while. He found himself moaning subconsciously as he went, finding the pain of his aching jaw somewhat pleasing.

 

       Yūichirō didn’t force it down any deeper, definitely not letting it touch his throat anymore. And once Mikaela started to shove his head any way he wanted to, Yūichirō immediately pulled away and let go of his cock.

 

       “I’m tired,” he said. Yūichirō then lifted himself up by Mikaela’s knees and turned around to go to his bed. “G’nite, Mika.”

 

       He was almost surprised when he felt Mikaela pushing him down on his own bed, gripping his hips and holding them up. The blond used a hand to lift up his dress before positioning himself to the hole in Yūichirō’s underwear.

 

       It wasn’t all that surprising, though. He already expected something like that.

 

       Although… as he felt the tip of Mikaela’s cock prod at his tiny hole, Yūichirō was almost tempted to let it happen. It would be the first time they could fuck, after all.... He always wanted to have sex with Mikaela, didn’t he?

 

       But it wasn’t the time for that. Yūichirō sighed before reluctantly using their safeword.

 

       Immediately, Mikaela released him. “Yū,” he then said, “don’t do this. Okay? Just don’t. Take it back so we can fuck like you wanted—”

 

       “No,” Yūichirō denied, pulling down the end of his skirt as he stood back up. He could still oddly feel the sensation of something trying to enter his asshole, though only barely. It was a scary thought, actually. He could feel how massive Mikaela’s tip felt compared to his unprepared hole. He could only imagine how awful it’d be to take it in all at once....

 

       Yūichirō shuddered, though in pleasure.

 

       “I’m tired,” he then repeated, getting up on the bed. “I’m serious, Mika. Don’t make me repeat the safeword.”

 

       Mikaela didn’t say anything. Yūichirō didn’t bother to look at him and just began to gather his blankets to cover himself with.

 

       “Goodnight!” he said cheerfully, closing his eyes. But when he heard the door open and close, he sat up and lifted up his dress. Already knowing that Mikaela had left, he struggled off the underwear to release his own hardened dick. He was actually pretty thankful that Mikaela had left, too. That just meant he wouldn’t have to be quiet.

 

       Mika could’ve fucked me, he thought in his head, though moaned aloud. Oh, god, it was so close. Yūichirō’s hand was already on his own dick, probably jacking it at the same time Mikaela was.

 

       I don’t think... I don’t think I can do this. Yūichirō tried not to make any sounds, though he was failing miserably at the thought of Mikaela’s large cock pounding inside his ass ruthlessly. He tried to force the feeling of such a thing, picturing the image in his head all the while. He’d probably be screaming while Mikaela did that to him... without a care in the world.

 

       I can’t.... Yūichirō bit his lip to contain himself. How am I going to pull this off for an entire week?

Chapter Text

Ow... why does everything feel weird?

 

       Yūichirō blinked open his eyes, sat up, let out a yawn, then stretched a little before recognizing what outfit he had slept in, and just what made him so uncomfortable during his long-rested night.

 

       Ew, he then thought, wincing at the feeling between his legs. I feel gross. Why couldn’t I just clean myself off like a normal person?

 

       He looked to the side, suddenly wondering if Mikaela was just waking up, too. But when Yūichirō leaned over a bit to take a peek, the air mattress was gone. Of course he’s up early, Yūichirō thought with a mental shrug, pulling off the blanket from his body. And he didn’t even wake me up.

 

       A bit of apprehension started to wash over him. Did Mikaela hate him after what he did last night? Did the blond want nothing to do with him now, especially because Yūichirō denied him sex?

 

       As he hesitantly went to the dresser to gather some clothes for a shower, Yūichirō grew anxious. I mean, if he really wanted to, then he could have just... fucked me. His mind flashed back to when the tip of Mikaela’s cock prodded his asshole. It was so close. But he wouldn’t do anything I don’t want to do with him....

 

       So then... why did he stop? Yūichirō’s face flushed. Of course I wanted him to fuck me. He knew that.

 

       Well, it’s Mika. He took a deep breath after bunching his clothes in his arms. No point of thinking about it because even if I ask, he’s just going to ignore me.

 

       Despite the thought of being ignored, Yūichirō smiled. I like it when Mika gets like that with me.... It’s so funny when he’s annoyed.

 

       Happily, Yūichirō made his way to the door, but before he could reach over to open it, it started doing it on its own.

 

       Not entirely, though, because the person who had pushed it was Mikaela.

 

       Yūichirō’s smile immediately dropped and he gazed down at the floor. Something felt too awkward. He couldn’t tell if it was the glimpse he got of the bothered look on Mikaela’s face, the fact that he was still wearing the maid outfit and he probably appeared disheveled, or what happened last night, which was most likely still fresh in their minds.

 

       But, as expected, Mikaela ignored him. He walked past, and Yūichirō glanced behind him to see that he was going to the dresser.

 

       “U-um,” Yūichirō stammered, turning around. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

       “No,” came the firm answer.

 

       He waited for Mikaela to tell him what he was doing, but nothing came. Yūichirō stayed there for a moment as Mikaela searched through the dresser, then left.

 

       Maybe it’s not that funny.

 

       He doesn’t seriously hate me, does he? I... I didn’t do anything wrong.

 

       Yūichirō shook his head. No, he can’t hate me. He wants me.

 

       Once he rushed to the bathroom, he made sure to lock the door behind him. It wasn’t like it mattered, really, because Mikaela had already showered with him. Yūichirō didn’t really care if they did that again or if Mikaela saw him naked! He just... had a situation between his legs that was very embarrassing.

 

       Although, now that he thought back to when they had showered together, his heart fluttered in his chest. He wished they could do it all the time while Mikaela was still around. He’d love to mess with Mikaela’s medium, flowing blonde hair, or try to get him horny and see his dick react to it.

 

       Even though it was a nice thought, Yūichirō couldn’t help but frown. I want him to want me so bad by the end of this week thing. Then I’ll be so irresistible and he won’t be able to keep his hands away from me. Yūichirō paused once he got the dress off and looked to the door. Maybe it’ll get him to stay longer, too.... The end of the month is only two weeks away.

 

       Before he could get depressed at the reality of life, Yūichirō got in the tub and took care of his issue. After that, he showered normally with nice, warm water, thinking about the things he’d do with Mikaela if they were in the bath together.

 

       Once he finished, Yūichirō exited, dried himself off, and brushed his teeth, though not before he dressed himself up in another pair of sleeping clothes. He figured not much would happen today, so he might as well be comfortable with a soft pair of sweatpants, socks, and a sleeved-shirt in which he had no choice but to wear.

 

       Which wasn’t exactly true. The only people around were his parents and Mikaela, and they already knew about his scars.

 

       ...Guess I’ll have to start thinking about changing up what I wear.

 

       When he exited the bathroom and neared his room, he noticed the door was closed, then wondered if the blond was still there. Yūichirō hesitated only a little before freeing a hand to open the door.

 

       Mikaela was not.

 

       Yūichirō sighed and tossed his clothes into the hamper near the door, then quickly left his room. The blond had said he wasn’t going anywhere, so he was still in the house, surely. Yūichirō just hoped that, whatever time it was, his parents were gone. It was Monday, so both Shinya and Guren worked.

 

       Then he took a second to think about that. Perhaps it would be better that they were around so it wouldn’t be so awkward and quiet between him and Mikaela. Although, wouldn’t it just be awkward, anyway? His parents always went silent when they entered the room.

 

       Yūichirō should seriously have a talk with them.

 

       Okay, he thought, nodding to himself as he went down the steps. Noted. Maybe we could watch a movie tonight or something.

 

       “Mika?” Yūichirō called, about to walk into the living room. But then the blond responded with an “over here,” and he could tell that it came from the kitchen. So, Yūichirō went the other way.

 

       “Are my parents here?” Yūichirō asked when he entered and noticed Mikaela at the fridge. The blond was fully yet simply dressed as if he was going somewhere, though Yūichirō didn’t even mind nor question it.

 

       “No. They left a while ago.”

 

       Yūichirō stopped walking towards Mikaela and just stared at him as he stood there looking through the fridge. Mika, he thought, his gaze softening when he felt the urge to give him a kiss. Sometimes I wonder if I want him to hold me and tell me everything’s okay or beat the shit out of me.

 

       “The fuck are you staring at?” Mikaela asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. The blond was looking dead at him. “And why?”

 

       “Obviously, you,” Yūichirō retorted with a roll of his eyes. He walked up to Mikaela before bumping his hip with his own to move him out the way. It was successful. “And because I can.”

 

       Mikaela huffed under his breath, and Yūichirō couldn’t help but glance over at him. He felt a smirk coming on, though it went away when he realized Mikaela wouldn’t do anything about his bratty behavior. A little discouraged, Yūichirō just pulled out his pills and the gallon of water. He was conscious of the eyes on him all the while.

 

       “You’re loud,” Mikaela randomly pointed out, walking somewhere behind him as he presumably went back to the fridge.

 

       Yūichirō glanced over his shoulder as he set down the water. “What are you talking about?”

 

       “In the shower. You were loud.”

 

       He tried to ignore his embarrassment. “No, I wasn’t. Why would I be loud?” Before Mikaela could reply, Yūichirō’s face only grew hotter. “Why are you standing near the bathroom, idiot?” he exclaimed, turning around. “Mind your own business!”

 

       Mikaela, who had taken out a gallon of milk, shut the fridge and gave him a weird look. “I was just passing by and you were huffing and puffing like you were about to blow someone’s fucking house down.”

 

       “No, I wasn’t.” Yūichirō crossed his arms and looked off to the side. “What the hell, Mika? I don’t need you pointing these things out.”

 

       “I just think it’s interesting,” Mikaela said as he went to Yūichirō’s side to set the milk on the center counter. “I mean, you seemed like you didn’t want anything last night. Pretty confident act for someone who jacks it the morning after.”

 

       “Okay?” Yūichirō’s expression contorted into disgust. “Like you didn’t jack off right after what happened? You were so desperate.”

 

       Mikaela went quiet and moved away to look through some cabinets.

 

       Keep arguing back, Yūichirō thought, almost with a sigh. “You’re going to get worse as the week goes on, Mika. So maybe you should cut all the high and mighty talk and own up to how much you’re obsessed with me.”

 

       “Yup,” Mikaela simply said, shutting the cabinet after pulling out a box of cereal. “Okay.”

 

       Yūichirō stared at him as he prepared a bowl before opening the box. “What? You have nothing good to say?”

 

       “You’re not going to get to me,” Mikaela told him, pouring the cereal. “I won’t even touch you, and I’ll be just fine.”

 

       Sure you will.” Yūichirō, now bored with the lack of fire in the conversation, decided to change the subject. “I was thinking we should watch a movie with my parents tonight,” he told Mikaela, popping open his bottle of pills. “Would you be down for that, or do you have other, better things to do, like stroking your cock?”

 

       “That’s fine,” Mikaela told him, pushing the now-completed bowl of cereal towards Yūichirō. “But don’t you think it’ll just be awkward?”

 

       Yūichirō had thought Mikaela was preparing that for himself, so he stared at the bowl for a moment, absent-minded. Then, “I’ll make sure it won’t be. We just have to show them everything is cool between us and we definitely didn’t almost have sex last night.”

 

       “I wouldn’t have went through with it, just so you know.” Mikaela moved from the other side of the counter to start putting the milk and cereal box away. “I wasn’t fitting inside whatever the fuck that was.”

 

       “Your cock isn’t that big, Mika.” Yūichirō closed the bottle of pills after he put his daily dosage in his mouth. As he uncapped the gallon of water and started to waterfall it, he wondered about what was up with his mood-stabilizer pill. It usually kept his sexual drive down, yet recently he was feeling off the charts.

 

       “Yes, it is,” Mikaela said, suddenly right next to him. “Your mouth would know.”

 

       Yūichirō set down the gallon of water before capping it, then moved away from him. “Don’t stand so close to me, freak.”

 

       “You’re the freak,” Mikaela retorted, though he began to leave the kitchen towards the dining room. Yūichirō watched him go, feeling a little disappointed. I don’t know why, but something feels different between us. I think it’s mostly Mika, though. What’s his deal? He felt his heart sink. Did I ruin something because of this week thing? Should I call it off?

 

       “Did you really wanna fuck me that bad?” Yūichirō called to him as he put his pills and the water away.

 

       He didn’t get any response, making him feel worse.

 

       Maybe he didn’t hear me, he tried to reassure himself. Yūichirō quickly gathered his bowl of cereal and headed to the dining room. I’ll eat this really fast and then I’ll go bother him, he thought with a determined nod. And I think I know just how I can do that.

 

       He felt a little pain in his chest when he remembered Shinoa showing him that Hey, You There song. Everything was somewhat normal then, right until she walked in on them making out. He felt like her knowing about Mikaela had ruined everything.

 

       No, that’s like saying it’s their fault, especially Mika’s. He started shoving his mouth with spoonfuls of cereal. I mean, it’s safe to say that it is, but... he’s doing a lot for me. I’ll feel bad.

 

       Yūichirō let out a long sigh. Everything was so complicated. It was getting hard to believe that only a few weeks ago, he was hanging out with his friends and crushing over Mikaela. While his life wasn’t completely normal, it was still somewhat better.

 

       Now I have my favorite music artist flaunting the size of his cock around while he brings me to suicide and eats my food and sleeps on my bed.

 

       Yūichirō smiled.

 

       I love him.

 

       Then his smile dropped. But he doesn’t love me back, he remembered, recalling the night where Mikaela had asked him whether he liked him or not. Of course I’d say no. Why would he ask me that? Yūichirō shut his eyes tightly. He knew I wouldn’t tell him the truth—

 

       Realization made his heart ache, but he really didn’t want to think about it anymore. I hate thinking. Maybe I’ll just stop trying to figure things out since it’s only going to make me feel like shit.

 

       His mind kept bringing up Mikaela, so Yūichirō just finished his cereal and cleaned up. Once he did, he wasted no time in dashing into the living room to bother his favorite person.

 

       “Mikaaaa!”

 

       Yūichirō, when he noticed that Mikaela was on the couch, launched himself onto it. Not literally, but he jumped onto the seat, making the blond bounce a little.

 

       “You’re going to break the couch with your fat ass,” Mikaela said grumpily, inching away from him.

 

       “Can I borrow your phone?” Yūichirō asked, scooting closer. He peeked at whatever Mikaela was doing on his phone before looking up at the blond curiously.

 

       Mikaela rolled his eyes, then tossed it on his lap. Yūichirō jumped a bit at that, both not expecting Mikaela to actually give it to him and at the contact. He watched as Mikaela leaned over to pick up the TV remote before opening up YouTube on the blond’s phone.

 

       After searching it up, he pressed the video and scrolled through the lyrics as it loaded. But as soon as he got the song to play even the first word, the phone was snatched from his hands.

 

       “Hey!"

 

       “I don’t think so,” Mikaela snapped, locking his phone before tucking it to the side of him. “I let you borrow my phone, and that was how you were going to repay me: by playing that bullshit song.”

 

       “You there. Hey, hey, you—nmn!!!”

 

       “You’re a little shit,” Mikaela interrupted with his hand over Yūichirō’s mouth.

 

       “Nn!” Yūichirō shoved Mikaela’s hand off his face. “You can’t do that. You’re supposed to show me respect this week, remember?"

 

       He fell silent and shuffled back properly, resuming his focus on his phone.

 

       Yūichirō’s heart dropped. So it is this week thing that’s ruining everything! He would have continued trying to shut me up if I didn’t say anything. Damn it...!

 

       “Hey,” he started quietly, furrowing his brows as he thought about his next words: cutting the deal off.

 

       “No.”

 

       “What? I was just—”

 

       Mikaela moved away from him and to the far corner of the couch. “Don’t play dumb.”

 

       “I was only trying to ask you something, jerk.” Yūichirō inched closer. “Let’s restart.”

 

       The blond spared him a glance and said nothing else.

 

       “Hey,” he started, then went quiet.

 

       To that, Mikaela muttered a few curses under his breath and began to get up.

 

       “Wait!” Yūichirō grabbed his wrist before he could. “I was just saying hey!”

 

       “No, you weren’t.” He snatched it away. “Stop messing around. I’m not in the mood.”

 

       “Let’s restart.”

 

       “Yū—”

 

       “Hey.”

 

       “Can you just tell me what you want?”

 

       “You there.”

 

       “You’re fucking annoying.”

 

       Yūichirō feigned offense. “Why are you saying that to me? I responded!”

 

       “Did you even have a question in the first place? Or are you just fucking with me?”

 

       He would have replied, but the moment was ruined when he accidentally smiled.

 

       “I thought so. Go fuck off somewhere else.”

 

       “This is my house. Why don’t you sulk somewhere I’m not?”

 

       He didn’t seem to have a problem with that. Mikaela got up, tucked his phone in his pockets, then started walking off.

 

       “Wait!” he called as he got up off the couch too. But Yūichirō stopped in his tracks when Mikaela turned around.

 

       “Like a lost little puppy. I should leash you and see if you’re still so keen to follow me around.”

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms. “Sheesh. Why are you getting so upset? I’m just messing with you.”

 

       “No. It feels more like you’re testing me.” He approached slowly. “I’m trying to be nice and you’re just pushing my buttons. Why ask for me to leave you alone for a week when you provoke me anyway? It’s like you’re asking for it.”

 

       His cheeks began to light up. “What? It’s not obvious? Do I need to spell it out for you?”

 

       They stared at each other for barely five seconds before Mikaela’s phone began to ring. To that, Yūichirō grew depressed. It was obvious now where the blond’s attention would go to.

 

       But...!

 

       Mikaela pulled out his phone and continued exiting the living room.

 

       He stomped his foot down. What’s his deal? What happened to the Mika who couldn’t resist me? What happened with that, huh?

 

       He pinched the bridge of his nose. This is unfair! He’s supposed to be the one suffering, not me! Why did I even ask for this week thing, anyway? Am I stupid?

 

       When he heard the door open and close, his curiosity got the best of him. Quietly, he followed the direction the blond left in, still slightly fuming.

 

       Stupid phone call. I thought nothing else was important to him but my kisses....

 

       Why’s he going outside, anyway? He doesn’t care if I listen to his conversations. Did I bother him that much?

 

       Yūichirō stalked towards the door. Or does he still not... trust me...?

 

       “...night?” he heard, Mikaela’s voice extremely muffled. “What time?”

 

       Tonight? We’re supposed to have a movie night with my parents.

 

       “Okay. I’ll....”

 

       The rest was drowned out. What, he’s got somewhere else to be? I’d love to hear the excuse he’s gonna give me, then!

 

       Peering out the frosted glass, Yūichirō could see a figure moving away, so that’d definitely be the last he’d hear of the blond’s conversation.

 

       Unless I just barge out and demand he tells me what’s up.

 

       Yūichirō sighed. Instead, he frowned, setting his hands on his hips defiantly. Nah. He’s had enough of my bullshit for this hour. If he gets any more upset with me....

 

       He shook his head as if it would clear his mind. Well, we made plans first! He’d better not cancel on me.

 

 

....

 

 

“It’ll be fun!” Yūichirō said, trying to convince his fathers. Guren and Shinya had gotten home after work a few hours ago, but he didn’t have time to ask because he got caught up in an argument with Mikaela upstairs. It was about their movie night, and of course Mikaela had to bring up the issue of them being too close together.

 

       Yūichirō was waiting for Mikaela to mention the place he had to be later, but no. All the blond wanted to complain about was Yūichirō not making a scene in front of them. He’d be on his best behavior! How could Mikaela think so low of him?

 

       Not only that, but it was very rude that the argument happened right after Yūichirō told Mikaela a bit about himself so that he held up their deal. At least Mikaela would stop being an asshole because he simply couldn’t be.

 

       Regardless, after Shinya and not so much Guren cooked, he asked, and now he was in yet another argument.

 

       “We have work tomorrow,” Shinya told him as he cleaned the dishes. Guren leaned against the counter next to him, drying plates with a solemn expression. “And it’s getting a little late.”

 

       “It’s only seven,” Yūichirō pointed out. “You guys will be in bed before ten for sure! I just think it’ll be good for all four of us to spend some nice quality family time.”

 

       “‘Four’?” Guren repeated. “Mikaela’s not exactly part of this family.”

 

       Yūichirō sighed, putting his hands on his hips as he watched Mikaela and Guren begin to shoot each other looks. The blond was also there, though he was on the opposite side of the kitchen.

 

       Before Yūichirō could argue, Shinya was thankfully ready to defend Mikaela. “No need to be rude, Guren. And, I suppose it’s fine. I mean, it’s been a while since we’ve all spoken.”

 

       Because I’m too busy sucking Mikaela’s dick. Yūichirō released his hips and let out a deep sigh. I should try to get my friends together and apologize to them, too. Then we could all listen to that song and have a good time!

 

       But Yūichirō could feel the motivation for doing that quickly drying out. But I won’t be able to be with Mika.... Suddenly craving the blond’s affection, he walked over to him and happily hooked their arms together. “Mika and I will set up the living room, then.”

 

       Mikaela glared at him, though Yūichirō ignored the look and instead dragged him out of the kitchen.

 

       “Remember what we discussed,” Mikaela said once they made it to the couches. “Don’t try anything funny.”

 

       “Why don’t you try not to do anything funny?” Yūichirō retorted, though it was half-assed as he was now busy looking for the remote, separated from Mikaela.

 

       “You’re the one who can’t stay away from me.”

 

       Yūichirō, after finding it on the floor, made a loud sound to express his disbelief. “Pffffffffffffffffffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvt! Says the one who can’t keep his hands off of me.”

 

       “You’ve been throwing yourself on me all day,” Mikaela grumbled, sounding a little far off as he went to sit on the single-seater couch. “I have no choice but to react to your actions.”

 

       “Shh. I’m trying to find a movie.”

 

       “All this planned, and you didn’t even have one in mind?” Mikaela sighed. “You really are hopeless.”

 

       Yūichirō rolled his eyes and just stood there, pressing buttons on the remote as he browsed for something good and free. “You’re a bitch, Mika,” he mumbled, hoping he’d hear Mikaela call him the same thing in response. But he only went silent. “And stop sitting there and move the couches.”

 

       He’s really not giving me what I want today, Yūichirō thought absentmindedly. He hasn’t been messing around at all! He seriously has a problem.

 

       He heard Mikaela sigh after a moment, and then the sound of sliding furniture.

 

       “What are we watching?” Shinya asked excitedly as he and Guren finally exited the kitchen.

 

       “Yū-chan doesn’t—” Mikaela started in less of his angelic tone, but Yūichirō was already speaking over him.

 

       “This one,” he said. “It’s a good action mystery drama thing that I think would be exciting to watch.” Yūichirō tapped the button on the remote to play it. He then tossed it on the long couch Mikaela was moving before helping him.

 

       He glanced over at the blond, thinking. I wish we were dating sometimes. Then I’d be able to sit on his lap or something, and it wouldn’t be weird. Then he looked at his parents. Okay, it would be a little weird, but reasonable. Once they set it down to face the TV, he stood up straight and dusted off his hands. We’ve already seen this movie, but they haven’t. Hopefully Mika won’t complain.

 

       “Okay, let’s sit,” Yūichirō said while Mikaela moved the coffee table elsewhere. Guren and Shinya seemed to hesitate before sitting down, Yūichirō right next to them. When Mikaela walked up, he pat the free space on the couch, but Mikaela only went to move a single-seater couch up.

 

       “C’mon,” Yūichirō interrupted, staring him down. “Don’t be like that....”

 

       “He can sit wherever he wants,” Guren said rudely and unnecessarily.

 

       That was exactly the encouragement Mikaela needed, because the blond didn’t waste any time in sitting right next to Yūichirō. Thanks, Guren!

 

       As the introduction continued to play, Yūichirō found his eyes straying elsewhere, and his daydreams about Mikaela began to fill his mind. He’d think back on their times together or what they could do in the future, bringing a smile to his face.

 

       There’s still a lot I want to do before he leaves, Yūichirō thought, bringing up his legs to the couch. Especially have sex. I can’t let him go without having his dick inside me first—and not just in my mouth.

 

       God, Mika, why do you have to leave? Isn’t everything so good between us? Yūichirō then bit back a bitter chuckle. This is all I think about.

 

       He glanced at the blond, then at his shoulder. Then he looked to his other side at Guren, and then at his shoulder.

 

       Hmm....

 

       Yūichirō was about to lean to his left where Mikaela was, but then he thought better of it. They weren’t supposed to be making a scene, and even though it wasn’t that big of a deal, he knew Mikaela would have a problem with it.

 

       Man! This sucks. Yūichirō looked back to the movie. And this is boring. We’re all just sitting here awkwardly and silent. Maybe this was a bad idea.

 

       He then mentally shrugged. At least we’re spending time together.

 

 

....

 

 

Yūichirō had fallen asleep. He didn’t know how, when, or where, but when he woke up, he was in his own bed.

 

       He lay there for a moment, blinking his eyes and trying to process the situation. When everything came rushing back to him, he still lay there, but that was until he realized it was daytime.

 

       Shit! he exclaimed in his head, shoving off the blankets from himself. Of course, there was no air mattress anywhere, and an unsettling thought of Mikaela not even sleeping the night came to mind. Yūichirō hurried off the bed and bolted out the door.

 

       Of course I fell asleep like some moron, he thought, hurrying down the steps. Now I’ll have to ask him where he went last night. I wish I could have been there, but....

 

       “Oh, Yū, you’re up,” Shinya greeted as he exited the kitchen Yūichirō was about to enter. “You really dozed off last night.”

 

       “Where’s Mika?” he immediately asked, then felt a little bad. “Oh, yeah... um... did you guys enjoy the movie?”

 

       Shinya smiled, gazing off to the side. “Well, about that....”

 

       Yūichirō tried not to roll his eyes, though he knew it was reasonable that they wouldn’t finish it, especially since he had no say in the matter. Too bad the movie wasn’t interesting enough for them to want to continue watching it. “Where’s Mika?” he repeated.

 

       “I haven’t seen him since last night,” Shinya told him. “After he moved you to your bed, I was pretty sure he went to sleep, too. I’m not sure if he left this morning, or....”

 

       “And he’s not back yet?” Yūichirō felt his heart sink. He definitely left sometime last night and then stayed there until morning. Yūichirō just had no idea why.

 

       Shinya nodded, and his look was full of pity. It’s not like I care that much, Yūichirō thought to reassure himself, giving his father a smile before turning around and heading up the steps. I just wish he would’ve left a note or something....

 

       “Oh, Yū,” Shinya called after him. “Guren and I are leaving for work, and you’re going to be here by yourself until Mikaela gets back.”

 

       “Okay,” he called back. “Have a good day at work.”

 

       Yūichirō, once he made it to the top, walked towards and stopped at the closet door. He had to be sure of one thing. Please be here, please be here, please—

 

       They weren’t. Mikaela’s luggages were gone.

 

       He wouldn’t, he thought to himself, quickly walking to his room. He wouldn’t ever do that to me. Mika wouldn’t leave just like that, without another word.

 

       Yūichirō hurried to his dresser, but Mikaela’s clothes weren’t there, either. No! he thought, going through each and every individual drawer. This isn’t real. This can’t be real. I’m dreaming.

 

       Once he made it to the last one, he just sat on his knees, disbelief washing over him. He stared at nothing, wondering if that was it. Mikaela was gone, and he would never see him again.

 

       He just left me, didn’t he? He got bored of me. That would explain everything. Yūichirō didn’t even realize it, but he already started crying. Of course he would. I’m a nobody, aren’t I? He was just waiting for his chance to leave without saying anything.

 

       “Why?” he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against his dresser. “What did I do wrong? Why, Mika? Why couldn’t you at least...?”

 

       “Yū,” someone said far behind him, and Yūichirō’s eyes shot open. “You’re awake. I’m sorry, I know it looks bad, but I didn’t think—”

 

       Yūichirō interrupted him by running into his arms with enough force that Mikaela had to stumble backwards. He hugged him tight, tears flowing out his eyes.

 

       “I’m really sorry,” Mikaela mumbled, hugging back. “I thought you’d be asleep long enough for me to get back in time.”

 

       “Where’d you go?” Yūichirō managed out, his voice muffled as his head was buried in Mikaela’s chest.

 

       “I had some sort of meeting,” Mikaela told him. The blond’s grip loosened as to end the hug, but Yūichirō held on. “They were leaving early this morning, and I had to be there last night to work things out.”

 

       “Where’s your stuff?”

 

       Mikaela pushed him back a little and glanced to the side where a laundry basket full of clothes were. “I did laundry yesterday, and I had to take my stuff with me so they could send it back home. Oh, and....”

 

       The blond, with Yūichirō still holding onto him, picked up the bag that was in the basket. “I nearly forgot about your stupid dildo that was inside one of them. Thankfully, I remembered my lube, so....”

 

       Yūichirō slapped the bag out of his hands. “I don’t care! I don’t want any other dick but yours!” He looked up at Mikaela. “Never, ever do that to me again, Mika. I thought you were gone for good.”

 

       “I wouldn’t do that without saying anything,” Mikaela told him with a faint smile. “That’s too mean.”

 

       Yūichirō glared at him, too angry yet relieved that he missed the sad look in Mikaela’s eyes. “Good,” he said sternly. “I want our goodbyes to be special, okay? Promise me.” He then held up his pinky.

 

       “Yet another one” Mikaela said with a sigh, though he couldn’t force down his smile and rose his own. “Okay, Yū. I promise.”

Chapter Text

Something was wrong.

 

       Yūichirō didn’t notice it for the first couple of days, but now as he thought about all the nice things Mikaela had been doing for him since that morning....

 

       Mikaela was... too happy, but he never got intimate with Yūichirō; whenever he’d try to kiss him, Mikaela would unenthusiastically kiss back, and it would stop right there. He never said anything mean, and he hardly touched him.

 

       He didn’t know what his problem was. What could have possibly happened between them? Was it Yūichirō’s fault? Did something happen that night when he left? Was this how Mikaela truly felt, never wanting to do anything with Yūichirō?

 

       But they had been going out for the past two days, exploring around the town and buying small things to mess around with. Mikaela even offered to buy a board game to play with his parents and everything! Not only that, but they actually did it! Mikaela played board games with his parents!

 

       Yūichirō didn’t think it could get any worse, but it did. Mikaela had just suggested to invite his friends over so they could hang out. He offered to reveal himself and then all spend time together as a group.

 

       Yūichirō had absolutely no idea what was happening, but he had to put a stop to it. What happened to “Your friends are fucking horrible” Mikaela? What happened to “I never smile and I hate everything,” the blond idiot who always tried to make Yūichirō feel bad?

 

       “Mika,” he snapped, interrupting him as he rambled about what things they could all do together. “I’m calling it off.”

 

       “Calling what off?” Mikaela responded rather quickly. They were both in the living room, but Yūichirō was laying down on the floor while Mikaela sat on the couch.

 

       “This week bullshit. There’s like, what, three days left? That’s enough. You can be normal again.”

 

       “I am normal,” Mikaela told him. “And no.... I still need to hear more about your past.”

 

       Yūichirō sat up and turned so that he could face him. “I’ll tell you, but without the deal. I don’t care anymore.”

 

       “What are you saying? What’s the point of telling me if you don’t get anything in return?”

 

       He let out a long sigh. “I’m saying that I want you to satisfy me!” Yūichirō stood up. “I miss the abusive side of you. I’m a masochist, aren’t I? And you’re a sadist. We both gave consent to doing things like this, so come on, Mika!” He clapped his hands for emphasis. “Start abusing me.”

 

       “Um....” Mikaela gazed off to the side awkwardly. Yūichirō stared at him in shock, seriously not believing this was the same person who beat his ass with a belt. “Not a lot of people say that on a daily basis.”

 

       “They shouldn’t have to,” he snapped again. “I shouldn’t have to. You should just be doing it. What’s wrong, Mika? What the hell is your problem?”

 

       “I dunno,” the blond answered with a shrug. “I just thought you needed me to be nicer.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “I need you to be you.”

 

       “Okay, okay... you got it, Yū. Anyway, so how about you invite them over? I think—”

 

       “I cannot,” Yūichirō interrupted, pinching his nose and shutting his eyes. “You’re acting like such a bitch. But you know what? Fine.” He opened them and sent daggers his way. ”Let’s invite them over so they can meet you and your angelic self. Give me your phone.”

 

       Mikaela didn’t move for a moment. Then, he picked up the device that was right next to him before handing it over to Yūichirō. He snatched it out of his hands and stared at the locked screen for a moment. “Okay, very funny. Unlock it, idiot.”

 

       The blond smiled a bit, did as he was told, then gave it back. Yūichirō glared at him before dialing Shinoa’s number.

 

       It was time.

 

....

 

“You better have a good reason for bringing us all here,” Shinoa said with a cross of her arms, glaring up at him. “We have places to be, unlike you.”

 

       “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry.” Yūichirō gave her a thumbs up. “I’m ready to apologize and give them the reason why I’ve been distancing myself.” He peeked over the wall and at the living room where Mitsuba, Yoichi, and Shihō sat waiting for him. “Stay there with them.”

 

       Shinoa rolled her eyes before walking off. Yūichirō went the other way and into the kitchen to get Mikaela.

 

       I’m so nervous, he thought, feeling all giddy inside. “Okay, let’s go over the plan,” he said after he entered. “I’ll go in first, and then—”

 

       “It’s not that big of a deal,” Mikaela said, speaking over him. But when he met Yūichirō’s gaze, he corrected, “Okay, right. What’s the plan?”

 

       Yūichirō squinted at him, feeling annoyed all over again. “Let’s just go there. Come on.”

 

       He left the kitchen without checking to see if Mikaela would follow, then entered the living room. His friends all looked at him quietly. He sucked in a deep breath and said, “There’s someone—”

 

       “Hello,” Mikaela said over him again. “I’m Mikaela.”

 

       “They know who you are,” Yūichirō snapped, moving to stand in front of him.

 

       “No frickin’ way!” Mitsuba exclaimed, then clamped a hand over her mouth.

 

       Shinoa looked both surprised and pleased, sitting next to Mitsuba on the long couch. “You’re coming clean?”

 

       Yūichirō nodded, but it was Mitsuba who spoke. “Wait. You knew, Shinoa? Who else knows? Wait. Why is he here?” She pointed at Yūichirō. “Explain yourself!”

 

       Before he even could, Yoichi was wobbling over to Mikaela, and when he reached him, he grabbed both of the blond’s hands in his own. “I’m such a fan,” he mumbled, staring up at him in awe. Yūichirō watched Mikaela’s expression carefully. “It’s an honor to meet you in person! Could I... could I have your autograph?”

 

       “No need to get all touchy,” Shihō grumbled, standing up from the couch Yoichi had left him in. He then tugged his boyfriend away from Mikaela. “You can get his autograph without all of that.”

 

       “But it’s Mikaela!” Yoichi protested.

 

       Meanwhile, Yūichirō was forcing down his jealousy. Mikaela’s expression remained calm, pissing him off even more. He wished the blond looked disgusted or something! How could he like other people touching him? Mikaela definitely wasn’t the type. What the hell?

 

       “Let me explain,” Yūichirō said, interrupting them and his own thoughts. “I’ll start from the beginning, so just take a seat.”

 

       Making sure to leave out all the negatives, Yūichirō told them how he and Mikaela had actually spoken all those weeks ago when they were in that room together. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but he said that Mikaela had no other place to stay and Yūichirō offered, and after his parent’s agreement, the blond had been hanging around since.

 

       Then he had to give them the excuse of why he wasn’t hanging out with them: Mikaela couldn’t do anything without him. He always needed Yūichirō for his classified celebrity stuff, and Yūichirō offered.

 

       That was all.

 

       “Why didn’t you just tell us?” Mitsuba asked sadly, now sitting on the single-seater couch while Yūichirō, Shinoa, and Mikaela sat on the long one. Of course, Yoichi was sitting on Shihō’s lap.

 

       “Isn’t it obvious?” Yūichirō said with a nervous chuckle. “Mika wanted me to keep it a secret.”

 

       Shinoa rose her hand, which was barely in Yūichirō’s vision as he sat right next to her. “I have a very obvious question,” she said in her usual playful tone, making Yūichirō feel relieved. He didn’t think he’d hear it in a long time. “And I know we’re all thinking it. So let me be the one to ask.” She paused for obvious emphasis. “Are you two having sex?”

 

       “Absolutely not,” he said, expecting Mikaela to say something at the same time. But he stayed quiet. It pissed Yūichirō off, so he leaned forward and said, “He probably wants me, though. Too bad his dick is this big.” He held up his pinky.

 

       He caught Mikaela’s gaze after the blond had looked at his finger. Yūichirō gave him a hard, “what are you gonna do about it?” look before smiling at his friends who sat across from him. “I can confirm,” he continued. “We change in the same room sometimes. But it’s chill! We’re pretty comfortable around each other.”

 

       The room went quiet.

 

       “O-oh,” Mitsuba stammered, looking away. “We... we didn’t need to know that.”

 

       Mikaela cleared his throat and finally said, “He’s joking.”

 

       “No, I’m not,” Yūichirō snapped.

 

       “You see, what he meant to say is that his own dick is too small for penetration.”

 

       Yūichirō scoffed. “You saying you want it in the ass, Mika?”

 

       “It’d be impossible.”

 

       “Well, mine is bigger than yours!”

 

       Mikaela looked away from Yūichirō. “Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t even shave.”

 

       “Mika doesn’t shave, either,” Yūichirō pointed out, though it was very much a lie. “Well, he does, but he shaves every ten years. It’s fucking weird.”

 

       “Yū likes being hardcore dominated. I’m starting to think he has a problem.”

 

       “And Mika likes little children!”

 

       Mikaela shot up from his seat. “What the f—hell, Yū? You can’t say things like that!”

 

       Yūichirō also stood up and faced him. “You started it with the false information!”

 

       “No, you did!”

 

       “Ladies, ladies!” Shinoa interrupted, standing up between them. “You both have big dicks. Stop fighting.”

 

       “Is it always like this?” Mitsuba asked. “Do you two... bicker a lot?”

 

       “I thought you liked him,” Yoichi added, his eyes wide.

 

       Yūichirō crossed his arms and pointedly looked away from Mikaela. “I can’t like a loser like him. It’s a lot when you get to know a person, and it’s safe for me to say Mika and I just aren’t compatible.”

 

       “You’re right about that,” Mikaela muttered. Yūichirō gave him a look, questioning what he was trying to say. When the blond caught his gaze, he rose both of his hands, made a circle with his thumb and index finger....

 

       “Oh, my God!” Yūichirō exclaimed, walking up to him and slapping his indecent hands away. “Do you see why I had to ignore you guys for a while? I’ve been dealing with this shit!” He held onto the blond’s hands, unsure if he would try that again. “It has been absolute hell and back....”

 

       “Well!” Yoichi said cheerfully, though Yūichirō couldn’t see him as he maintained eye contact with Mikaela. “Now that we know, we can all start hanging out together again, right?”

 

       Yūichirō hesitated, his heart dropping. Sure, they could, and it was all he could hope for...! Finally, he could spend time with both his friends and Mikaela....

 

       But then they’d have to keep up their passive act, and while arguing was admittedly enjoyable, Yūichirō really wanted the bossy Mikaela back. He wanted the blond to force his cock inside his mouth or grab him by the hair and tell him how much of a dirty bitch he was. Why did Mikaela have to take on this stupid, friendly act all of a sudden?

 

       Yūichirō was only becoming frustrated as he kept thinking, so he stopped. Releasing Mikaela’s hands and turning around with a sigh, he shook his head. “I’d love to,” he lied. “But everything is so complicated, and I really need some alone time....”

 

       “Huh. Well, we’re busy anyway, but before you’d always want to hang out,” Mitsuba pointed out loudly. “What’s up with you now?”

 

       “Like I said. I need some alone time.”

 

       Apparently it was Shihō’s turn to speak. “Sounds like you just want to keep Mikaela all to yourself.”

 

       “So?” Yūichirō snapped, glaring at Yoichi’s boyfriend. “So what if I do? He’s mine, anyway.”

 

       Everyone went quiet once again.

 

       “He stays with me,” Yūichirō went on awkwardly. “No one else does. So....”

 

       “Yū’s mine, too,” Mikaela added cheerfully.

 

       “Shut up, Mika.”

 

       “I was defending you.”

 

       “I don’t need your help!”

 

       “You’re gonna need it tonight.”

 

       Shinoa waved her arms high in the air. “Not again, boys!”

 

       Yūichirō snorted and pretended they didn’t just start to argue. “You guys understand, right? I also just want to spend as much time with this fucking idiot before he leaves at the end of this month. I’ll never see him again, so....”

 

       Shinoa sat back down on the couch, and Yūichirō could tell she wasn’t too happy about what he had said. But he truly wanted to do things with Mikaela he could only do with him alone.

 

       “You’ll hardly see us, too,” Mitsuba pointed out. “And when he’s gone....”

 

       “Oh, we’ll be seeing a lot of Yū-san when Mikaela-san’s gone,” Shinoa said in a playful tone, though clearly she was bitter.

 

       Yūichirō tried not to roll his eyes but he knew she was right. He’d be so lonely without the blond. It was almost embarrassing to think about.

 

       “In the meantime,” Yūichirō went on, sort of ignoring her. “Since we’re all here, we should catch up!” He sat back down, and shortly after, Mikaela did too. “I’ve told you guys my piece, so what’s yours?”

 

       “I’m gonna start packing in a few weeks,” Mitsuba said after a silence. “I got a job offer from my sister. I think she’s finally giving me a chance, but it’s all the way in Japan....”

 

       Yūichirō tilted his head. “I thought you were only leaving the state.”

 

       “Yeah!” Shinoa cut in. “Me too. What happened?”

 

       “Well!” Mitsuba sounded exasperated. “Plans change. I don’t wanna talk about it.” She crossed her arms and looked away. Her turn was done, so everyone’s attention went to Yoichi who sat on Shihō’s lap.

 

       The brunet shyly itched his cheek. “We want to move in together soon,” he told them. “We found this really pretty place! It’s the perfect size for both of us and it has gotten good reviews.... It’s cheap, but it’s, like... five hours away.”

 

       Yūichirō nodded. Shinoa had told him already. “What about you, Shinoa?” he asked, looking to his side. “You’re working with your sister, but where?”

 

       “Mahiru decided to take me under her wing.” Shinoa flicked a lock of her lilac hair behind her shoulder. “But where she works isn’t around here in this boring city. So, I’ll be leaving, too.”

 

       “Wow,” Yūichirō mumbled, a smile on his face despite his growing sadness. “You’re all leaving to do pretty great things... while I’m going to be stuck with my parents for a few years.”

 

       No one responded to that.

 

       Then Mikaela laughed loudly. “Haha, yeah. Sucks to be you, Yū-chan.”

 

       Yūichirō‘s hands slammed down on his lap as he leaned forward to glare at the blond. “Shut up, Mika! What the hell? You’re supposed to be comforting me! This is depressing!”

 

       “It’s funny,” Mikaela told him, also leaning forwards with a shrug. He gave him a cheeky smile. “You’re funny.”

 

       “What the hell?” he repeated. Yūichirō scoffed and went back, feeling insulted. “See? He’s such a moron!”

 

       Shinoa giggled. “Sounds like you’re both in love to me!”

 

       A look of disgust immediately crossed Yūichirō’s features.

 

       “Ah, how fateful! It must be destiny—unexpected lovers! Who ever knew the lonely, boring Yū-san could be together with a celebrity like Mikaela-san?” Shinoa held herself in her arms. “This would make such a lovely novel.”

 

       More like a shitty one....

 

       “Yū-chan’s anything but boring,” Mikaela pointed out, and Yūichirō could see his legs cross. “He’s a handful, if anything.”

 

       And you’re a mouthful, Yūichirō retorted in his thoughts, knowing that if he said it aloud, it would contradict his previous statement. Which was, “Yeah, I am a handful. And you’re not because your dick is small.”

 

       Mikaela went quiet.

 

       “Okay... uh,” Mitsuba cut in, standing up. “Let’s change the subject. I’m... thirsty.”

 

       Yūichirō grew offended. “For what?” he snapped, glaring at her. “What are you thirsty for?”

 

       Then Mitsuba got offended. “What? Why are you yelling at me? I just want some water!”

 

       “Oh,” he then said, blinking. “Sorry. I thought you meant something else. It doesn’t make sense now that I think about it.... You wouldn't say something like that.”

 

       Mikaela snickered.

 

       “I still want his autograph!” Yoichi exclaimed, standing up. “Can you sign my shirt?”

 

       “Sure,” Mikaela agreed.

 

       “I’ll get us some drinks,” Yūichirō offered, getting up and leaving to the kitchen without another word.

 

       Mika’s a little normal again, he thought, relieved. Finally! He fights back! Yūichirō sighed. I hope we do something tonight.

 

       My friends just got here, and I already want them to leave, came the guilty thought. But now that Mika’s not being a little bitch, I want him to do something with me. Yūichirō got to work getting the cups, though he was more focused on his thoughts. I guess I’ll just keep fighting him with fire.

 

       No, he then thought agitatedly. Because we’d have to keep it filtered with my friends around. Er... even though we weren’t very filtered just then. But still. This sucks.

 

       Yūichirō dreamily gazed at the fridge he was supposed to be opening. Mika, please. I want your sadistic side so bad.

 

....

 

“See you guys tomorrow!” Yūichirō reminded them, watching them leave into Shihō’s car. They all waved back as he stood at the door, and he smiled, returning the gesture.

 

       It took a while for him to agree to, but Yūichirō decided they could have one more day together. They’d spend it by going out one last time, and then communicate whenever they could by phone. It sucked that they were usually busy nowadays, though that meant more time he could spend with Mikaela, so he was happy.

 

       Unfortunately, not entirely too happy.

 

       After a while of pointless bickering throughout the time he spent talking with his friends, Mikaela’s fire seemed to slowly die out. Yūichirō would say something mean, but Mikaela would stay awkwardly quiet. It would change the mood sometimes, but thankfully Shinoa knew what to do.

 

       Yūichirō gave up trying to have fun with Mikaela and instead tried to make him jealous by pointedly leaving him out of the conversation. He didn’t know if it was working or not. Mikaela just kept quiet unless one of his friends addressed him.

 

       The thought made him sigh, watching his friends pull out of the driveway. He shut the door after a moment and turned around, about to lean against it and close his eyes for a short break. But just as he crossed his arms, he noticed Mikaela slowly going up the stairs, and concern began to grow.

 

       “Mika?” he called out.

 

       He received no response nor acknowledgment.

 

       Furrowing his brows, Yūichirō followed him curiously, wondering what was up with the blond this time. He was a little concerned, though it was mostly drowned out by his annoyance.

 

       “What’s your deal?” Yūichirō asked in an irritated tone. “You’ve been a lot more quiet and boring, you know. It’s getting on my nerves.”

 

       “Sorry,” Mikaela finally responded, sounding exhausted. “I’m just tired.”

 

       “What? Too much social interaction?” he said condescendingly. Mikaela entered the room and so did Yūichirō a second after. “Do you need a bit of rest now?”

 

       Mikaela sighed and shut the door behind them. “I’m really tired, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do this right now.”

 

       “Yeah, okay. Sorry, I didn’t realize you needed a nap hour.” Yūichirō put his hands on his hips, looking defiant. “But this is my room, so you can sleep on the couch you had sex on.”

 

       Mikaela locked the door.

 

       He hesitated. “Fine, then. You can sleep on the floor, I guess.”

 

       Mikaela then walked to the far back of the room where his luggage was.

 

       Huh. Was that there the day I freaked out because I thought he left? Yūichirō thought to himself. I completely forgot he had that.

 

       The blond then began to open it, and Yūichirō decided to just ignore him while he was being edgy. He didn’t need Mikaela’s negative energy after he had a somewhat good time with his friends. He didn’t even want anything with Mikaela at the moment, anyway.

 

       Yūichirō walked over to his bed and sat down before stretching, feeling content. He shut his eyes and was tempted to just lay back and enjoy the moment. But when he heard something jingle, he looked to where the sound came from.

 

       “What are you doing over there?” Yūichirō asked. “You’re interrupting my peace with all the noise you’re making!”

 

       Mikaela stood up. “Sorry.”

 

       “No,” he sighed. “Don’t say sorry. What, are you submissive now? Do you want me to dominate you? No, thanks.”

 

       He waited for a ”you couldn’t even if you tried,” and... nothing.

 

       Yūichirō frowned. There has to be something I can do!

 

       “I guess I could give it a shot, if you’re willing.” He watched as the blond moved to stand up. But talking shit hasn’t gotten me anywhere.... “I’ll be the one giving out the orders this time. Here, puppy! Come suck me off.”

 

       Still messing with something loud, Mikaela kept his back to him and his mouth shut.

 

       This is fucking stupid. If he’s not going to abuse me, then why do I even bother?

 

       Grumpily, he didn’t say another word and just hopped off the bed, making his way to the exit. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but... I think I’m done trying. Maybe Mika was never meant for me. He yanked the door open, or tried, because it just rattled in place.

 

       He can just leave forever for all I care!

 

       As soon as he twisted the lock off, he was pulled back and, before he knew it, his wrist was cuffed.

 

       Yūichirō didn’t process what was happening until he faced Mikaela and the handcuff snapped on his other wrist.

 

       He moved his hands away, confused, only to get interrupted by the chain Mikaela was holding onto, which was basically a long leash that was attached to the middle of the cuffs.

 

       “What are you—”

 

       The blond turned around and began dragging him back to the bed.

 

       He let the situation sink in, blindly following, and then—

 

       Yūichirō yanked his hands back harshly, pressing his feet into the floor and stopping Mikaela in the process. “You can’t treat me like some animal! Take these off!”

 

       “Stop bitching already.”

 

       He didn’t expect to be brutally overpowered, especially when he was just able to stop Mikaela from walking any further.

 

       The force that the blond just put on both the chains and his wrists was something he didn’t have time to prepare for. His hands went forwards and he lost his balance, abruptly falling to the floor.

 

       “O-ow! Wait! Stop! You’re gonna cut my wrists off!”

 

       “If that happens, you still have ankles.”

 

       “What—!

 

       Dragged to the bed, Mikaela began to hook the chain around the frame of it, taking away more and more of Yūichirō’s freedom.

 

       Angry by the lack of explanation, Yūichirō spat, “What is this BDSM bullshit—” but was stopped by a firm order the blond then gave him.

 

       “Stand up and bend over on the bed.”

 

       Yūichirō stood up because he could despite the chain’s attachment, but no way in hell was he going to follow all of that to a T. “Look, Mika, I don’t know who you think you are, but you better cut it out. You can’t go from being a little boring piece of shit to this. I won’t allow it.”

 

       “No,” Mikaela started, quickly entangling his fingers into Yūichirō’s hair and pulling him so they faced each other. “You want to know what I’m not going to allow? Your defiance. So quit this tough act, bitch, and bend over.”

 

       He opened his mouth to object. The blond definitely wasn’t having that. With one good shove with the grip he had in his hair, Yūichirō fell towards the bed.

 

       What has gotten into him? A large dildo? I mean, I know I’ve been asking for this, but—

 

       Yūichirō couldn’t help his growing excitement. Wait. I did ask for this, didn’t I? Mikaela’s sadistic side.

 

       But still. What made him snap?

 

       Yūichirō gasped when his pants and boxers were tugged down in one pull. His ass was exposed to the rather chilly air, bare and vulnerable.

 

       “W-what are you gonna do with me?” he asked, slightly panicked. He couldn’t feel Mikaela’s presence behind him, and he didn’t know whether that made him feel relieved or more terrified.

 

       If Mikaela wasn’t behind him, then he wouldn’t do anything, right? But then... what else could he be doing?

 

       “Whatever I want, now, since you’re nearly incapable of movement. You can’t resist anything, either.”

 

       He shivered from the sheer pleasure those words brought him. I wouldn’t even try... oh, fuck yes, Mika. Why did this take you so long?

 

       The shuffling noises stopped. He heard faint footsteps but then... nothing.

 

       Is he... near me?

 

       After a second, he grew anxious, but it didn’t worsen when he remembered he could still stand up and look around.

 

       Just as he made even the slightest of movements, something cracked in the air and before he knew it, the sound of skin and leather slapping together filled his ears.

 

       He questioned it for barely a millisecond before the pain filled his senses.

 

       The air shifted.

 

       “W-wait, no, stop—!”

 

       Again, something thick yet small hit his ass once more, this time on a different spot. He cried out in pain, squirming on the bed and wishing it over.

 

       “‘Stop’?” Mikaela repeated, faking confusion. “Do you want it to end? Because you were begging for this a few hours ago, weren’t you?”

 

       He managed to whimper. His elbows, which were propping him up, began to weaken, or maybe it was just the whipping, because he didn’t have any strength left to keep them that way.

 

       Yūichirō’s upper body shook. All he could focus on was the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop what would continue to happen to him. He didn’t even know when or where the blond would strike next—and that terrified him the most. Every time, he would be filled up with that fear, repeating over and over after every lash.

 

       Mikaela whipped his ass again. “Does that feel good, bitch? Misbehaving this entire time—is it worth it now that this is happening? You do realize this is your punishment for that, right?”

 

       He pushed himself up with all the strength he had in him. Like hell he was going to continue playing along with Mikaela’s bullshit! No kind of masochist could find this caliber of pain enjoyable. Especially when they were angry with the person doing it to them.

 

       Yūichirō’s lips parted to shout “fuck off!” but he was interrupted when Mikaela just simply shoved him back down.

 

       “Stay down. You’re my bitch. Do whatever I say.” Mikaela’s crotch was now pressed up against his burning ass and his hand was keeping Yūichirō’s head down, squeezing the black strands of hair so tightly it began to hurt more than the whipping.

 

       “If I ask you to lick my shoes, you’ll fucking do it.” Mikaela pushed away and began moving up his shirt, revealing Yūichirō’s back. “Try that again and I’ll whip more than just your ass and thighs.”

 

       “I don’t belong to anybody!” Yūichirō still managed to say, trying to act unfazed yet blinking away the tears in his eyes. “Especially not a twisted fuck like you!”

 

       Mikaela chuckled. “Why are you acting like you don’t want this? You wish you belonged to me.”

 

       “N-no,” he stammered, fighting the urge to cry. He felt so pathetic it hurt. “No, I....”

 

       “Shut up,” the blond snapped right before whipping the other side of his ass. He did it twice, rapidly, then forced Yūichirō’s legs apart and did the inner parts of his thighs next.

 

       “S—Mika! Stop! It hurts too much—please!”

 

       Mikaela let out a deep breath, pausing for a moment. “Want a break? I could give you a trivia.”

 

       Yūichirō didn't respond and was at least grateful that the pain had stopped for the moment. He couldn’t do anything about that snarkiness, anyway.

 

       “Some people call this—” something touched the side of his ass lightly, causing him to flinch anyway, horrified— “A taming stick. They’re used for horses, I think? Sometimes. Obviously this one is for naughty bitches like you.”

 

       Mikaela began to trail the leather along his rear, teasingly, slowly. He went on, “It won’t make you bleed, not like that belt with the metal. But it will leave welts and bruises and stuff like that. A lot more, actually, now that I’m really putting my arm into this.”

 

       He only whimpered pathetically.

 

       “You were talking a lot of shit earlier. What happened to that? Don’t you want to talk about how small my cock is?”

 

       Something hit the floor. Yūichirō didn’t have the time to be fearful of that sound when Mikaela was yanking him upwards. He was pulled away from the bed to stand up, but the whipping had hurt so much he couldn’t stay on his feet.

 

       As soon as he fell to his knees, Mikaela grabbed a portion of his hair and tugged his face towards his crotch.

 

       Feeling a certain clothed hardness against his cheek, Yūichirō couldn’t help feeling disgusted, like he was some sex toy and his only purpose was to satisfy Mikaela, no matter how degraded he felt or how much pain he was put through.

 

       ...Yūichirō bit back a moan.

 

       “Feel that, bitch? See how your suffering turns me on? I should continue until I’m satisfied. I’ll keep you as a little fucktoy. Maybe lock you up in a basement until I need you. You’re worthless otherwise.”

 

       He lifted up his hands, although cuffed, and tried to push away from Mikaela’s covered erection by applying pressure on the blond’s thighs. Surprisingly, Mikaela let him.

 

       “Look at me, Yū.”

 

       Yūichirō wiped his tears and tried to do as told.

 

       Mikaela crouched down so they were eye-level. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

 

       He reluctantly met his eyes.

 

       “Are you enjoying yourself? Be honest.”

 

       Yūichirō had to hesitate on that one. The truth was—

 

       “What? Are you actually thinking about it? Do you honestly think I give a fuck about how you feel?” Mikaela grabbed the stick laying behind him. Yūichirō’s eyes widened when he finally saw the thing that had put him through a lot of pain—pain he still felt.

 

       It wasn’t too thin, presumably to withstand the force of the action it required. From the handle and a few inches from the tip, it didn’t look all that harmless. Just a black stick. And... past those inches....

 

       Mikaela smiled at him, turning the stick in his hand so that Yūichirō could see both sides.

 

       A crop whip. The leather at the tip was threaded together, making it thick and allowing for the other side to be dotted with metal. It looked like slightly rounded spikes. It looked like they hurt.

 

       If he’s not using that on me....

 

       If all Mikaela cared about was his own satisfaction, why wouldn’t he?

 

       Maybe he does care... to some extent. With wide eyes, he watched the blond teasingly and gently whip the stick back and forth.

 

       “Are you wondering why I don’t just use this side?” He flipped it so it was facing Yūichirō. “Do you think it’s because I’d worry about hurting you too bad?”

 

       He paused for emphasis, probably catching Yūichirō’s millisecond expression of hope.

 

       “Wrong. If I used this on your ass, with as much force, maybe even more.... I think it’d be okay for the first, what, ten whips? Then they say you’re likely to pass out. That wouldn’t be fun, now would it? And I’ve already hit you twenty times and I just got hard—oh. Were you counting? Probably not.”

 

       Yūichirō began to inch away from him, careful not to fall back on his bruising ass.

 

       Mikaela’s blue gaze flickered ever-so-slightly. He tilted his head and frowned, freezing Yūichirō in his tracks.

 

       “Well. I do have ten whips. Do you think that’ll be enough?” He stood up. “I guess the main downsides are having to clean up the blood and—”

 

       “I submit to you,” Yūichirō blurted out as he stared up at him fearfully. “Please, Mika. Don’t.”

 

       It went silent.

 

       “...That bad, huh? For even someone like you?”

 

       Yūichirō nodded rapidly.

 

       “I see. Fine, then. You using the safeword is a big turn off anyway.” He scoffed. "And you call yourself a masochist."

 

       Yūichirō watched Mikaela walk away. His heart dropped.

 

       Why did he suddenly regret uttering those four words?

 

       The blond paused, turned around, then dropped the crop whip just out of Yūichirō’s reach, the silver parts facing the ceiling.

 

       With a knowing smile, Mikaela continued to leave.

 

       No. No, I dodged a bullet.

 

       But, really, how bad could it be—?

 

       Mikaela’s words rang in his head. Passing out... ten strikes... unconsciousness... blood. It’s seriously not worth it.

 

       “I’ll be back,” the blond told him, stopping at the door. “Maybe around... dinner? I’ll make sure to bring you some food, of course.”

 

       ...Dinner?

 

       Dinnertime? Wasn’t that five hours away?

 

       Mikaela left. Yūichirō’s eyes widened when he jerked his hands towards the door and was stopped by the bed frame. He looked to where the chains were connected and hurried to undo them.

 

       But... there was a lock. Yūichirō hadn’t noticed Mikaela put it there at all!

 

       He faced the door again and called for him. “Mika, wait! You didn’t untie me! Mika!”

 

       Of course it was done on purpose. Yūichirō’s gaze lowered to the crop whip, its silver spikes seeming to threaten him.

 

       His eyes watered. “Mika!”

 

       No response.

 

       “Mika!