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The Class-1A Orphanage, AKA Aizawa's Kid's Group Chat

Chapter Text

{Aizawa has created Class 1-A GC}

{Aizawa has added DIEnamite, TrueKakashi, TheHamburglerBut30, and 18 others}

Aizawa: Alright, before Blood King attempts to throw me in a shallow grave

Aizawa: Shinshou and Monoma, Welcome to Class-1A

Aizawa: Don't fucking break it

{Aizawa Has Logged off}

DIEnamite: WHAT IN FUCKS HOLY NAME

CrocsAreValid: Amen

Newton'sAHoe: Oh! please tell me this means Mineta is expelled!

KermitKin: Or dead 

KermitKin: We have no preference

ThorKin: OOF

JustDissapointed: TSUYU

DIEnamite:  Fuck off Glasses we all thought it, Kermit is just the one who said it first.

DesignatedDecorater: RT Bakugou

KermitKin: I feel strangely validated rn

CrocsAreValid: That happens when Bakubro actually agrees with someone

ThorKin: It's true

ThorKin: when he said my essay on Romeo and Juliet had an okay thesis I ascended to another plane of existence

90'sLavaLamp: The same thing happened to me 

90'sLavaLamp: Bakugou said I used the least eye-offending Eyeliner in the dorm, I found Nirvana

DIEnamite: FUCK OFF YA HEATHENS, WE NEED TO INTERROGATE THE NEW SHITS

DIEnamite: Is the purple shit stain gone for fucking good?

TheHamburglerBut30: yes

TheHamburglerBut30: I'm your replacement purple bitch

TheHamburglerBut30: This version drinks respect women juice daily 

ThorKin: HELL YESSSSSSSSSS!

ThorKin: MAJOR UPGRADE!

90'sLavaLamp: OHHH ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

ThorKin: Wh-What

ThorKin: What The Fuck is that?

Newton'sAHoe: I fear no man 

Newton'sAHoe: But that

Newton'sAHoe: That scares me

DIEnamite; Whatever the fuck it is

DIEnamite: PUT IT BACK

DIEnamite: We're not done with Truth or Torture yet

TheHamburglerBut30:........I am afraid

TheHamburglerBut30: But also intrigued

CrocsAreValid: That's good! That means you'll survive!

TheMid2000's: That's good! That means you'll survive!

TheMid2000's: Holy Shit Kiri

DesignatedDecorater: It's a Bakusquad thing don't worry!

TheMid2000's: I Worry

TheMid2000's: I worry A LOT!

ThorKin: Anway, torture aside! We still need to interrogate Monoma 

TheMid2000's: Torture Aside

TheMid2000's: I'm texting Momo she has to look at this shit

ThorKin: So Monoma how come you got transferred too?

DIEnamite: Yeah you walking meme

DIEnamite: I thought you hated ALL OUR FUCKING ASSES 

TrueKakashi: I 

TrueKakashi: I didn't know this was happening

TrueKakashi: Eraserhead just straight up propelled to my window with his capture weapon

TrueKakashi: Grabbed me, and yeeted me into a room near the French dude

{TraumatizedPepperment has logged on}

TraumatizedPepperment: You survived an alien abduction

TraumatizedPepperment: come see me at a reasonable hour 

TraumatizedPepperment: And we Will find out why

{TraumatizedPepperment has logged off}

ThorKin: AghskhxjajkakhakhsklahsalkjsklLKSAHKLkhl

TheMid2000's: He logged on, JuSt FoR tHaT?! 

DIEnamite: GODDAMNIT ITS THE RETURN OF THEORYOKI

TheHamburglerBut30: Theoryoki?

90'sLavaLamp: Conspiracy Theorist Todoroki= Theoryoki

TrueKakashi:  I feel

TrueKakashi: Threatened

DesignatedDecorater: You've survived

DesignatedDecorater: That's all that matters

DIEnamite: Alright Motherfucker, You're traumatized and are fucking useless to us right now

DIEnamite: We finish Talk or Torture at breakfast

DIEnamite: But fucking first

DIEnamite: @Aizawa

DIEnamite: WHY FOUR FUCKING THIRTY!

{Aizawa Has Logged On}

Aizawa: It's easier to kidnap someone in the early morning

Aizawa: Cause the don't expect it 

DIEnamite: Understandable 

{Aizawa Has Logged Off}

TheMid2000's: BHAKSHAJKAHSBSAN WHAT TEH FUCK

DIEnamite: I respect violence Aux Cord

{TheMid2000's Has Logged Off}

TheHamburglerBut30: I love this fucking class already

ThoKin: And we love you! you should Join the Bakusquad dude

ThorKin: You'd fit in immediately bro

TheHamburglerBut30: You're in the squad right?

Thorkin:..... Yes

TheHamburglerBut30: Alright, ill join

TheHamburglerBut30: Where's the paperwork?

ThorKin: !!!!!!!

90'sLavaLamp: ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

ThorKin: S T O P. YO. S E L F 

DIEnamite: Or we go on fucking strike Pinky

DIEnamite: I'll withhold Mina cookies

90'sLavaLamp: ILL STOP ILL STOP ILL STOP

DIEnamite: Thank Fuck

DIEnamite: Purple Troll Doll, you'll get the damn paperwork in the morning

DIEnamite: You got a soul for the down payment?

TheHamburglerBut30: I'm sure I can find it before tomorrow 

DIEnamite: .......Fucking Mood 

DIEnamite:

DIEnamite: I approve

Chapter Text

8:30 AM

{DIEnamite and 20 others have logged on}

DIEnamite: Alright fuckers now that it isn't the ass crack of dawn

DIEnamite: It's time to continue Truth or Torture

ThorKin: let the game begin

90'sLavaLamp: OOF

DIEnamite: it seems Pikachu here is in a Jigsaw mood

DIEnamite: So

DIEnmite: Id suggest answering us :) 

PumpkinKing: I don't know if I'm afraid

PumpkinKing: Or just impressed

DesignatedDecorater: Both is good

CrocsAreValid: So @TrueKakashi where you at?

TrueKakashi: Fucking hiding FROM THE DAMMED THEORYOKI 

ThorKin: Holy Shit, Rest in Pieces Man

ThorKin: Did you run into him getting breakfast?

TrueKakashi: No

TrueKakashi: The fucker was waiting for me

TrueKakashi: So now I'm hiding in the one place the asshole wouldn't go

KermitKin: Which is?

TrueKakashi: Aoyama's room

Newton'sAHoe:?

TheMid2000's:?

TrueKakashi: It's too cheerful 

TrueKakashi: His emo fucking ass would die immediately 

TheMid2000's: HOLy 

CrocsAreValid: OOF

CrocsAreValid: He's not even replying and you've already killed him

DIEnamite:.......

DIEnamite: We're keeping you

TrueKakashi: E-Excuse me?

TheMid2000's: What   The   Fuck

Croc'sAreValid: Bro you've been chosen for the Bakusquad!

DIEnamite: Shittyhair is right, you're fucking staying with us

DIEnamite: The Troll Doll will help you with the paperwork

TheHamburglerBut30: Surprisingly the process is very quick

TrueKakashi: But

TrueKakashi: You don't even know if I'm actually staying in your damn class 

CrocsAreValid: So what if you aren't? We'll still be friends bro!

TrueKakashi:......

TrueKakashi: @DIEnamite Why do I feel so enlightened?

DIEnamite: Yeah, ShittyHair has that effect

ThorKin: His kindness is very powerful

DesignatedDecorater: It can end wars

90'sLavaLamp: And start them!

CrocsAreValid: GUYSSSS

CrocsAreValid: STOP IM CRYING ON MY TOAST

TrueKakashi: Wish that was me

TrueKakashi: I'm  crying  from  pure  fear  

KermitKin: Why Manoma-san?

TrueKakashi: CAUSE THEORYOKI SAW MY MESSAGE. I CAN FUCKING HEAR HIM SPRINTING TO MY LOCATION

Newton'sAHoe: OOF, you're dead

JustDissapointed: Urakara

Newton'sAHoe: It's true and you know it

CrocsAreValid: Someone distract Todoroki! Il snatch you from Aoyama's room while they do bro!

TrueKakashi: FUCKING SUPERB, PLEASE HURRY 

PumpkinKing: Hmmmmmm I shall assist 

PumpkinKing: @TraumatizedPeppermint Don't you think Shinshou looks a lot like Aizawa sensei?

{TraumatizedPeppermint has logged on}

TraumatizedPeppermint: With Midoriya's notes on both their quirks and a general character study 

TraumatizedPeppermint: I can say that there is a 92% that he is a secret love child

{GreenCareBear has logged on}

GreenCareBear: Todoroki, we have talked about this!

GreenCareBear: No More Secret Love Children

TraumatizedPeppermint: I recognize the council has made a decision

TraumatizedPeppermint: but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.

DIEnamite: You fucking killed Deku

DIEnamite: I'm cackling

DesignatedDecorater: It's true, and it is 

DesignatedDecorater: Disturbing

CrocsAreValid: Come to the common room! I've rescued ManamoBro and The Bee Movie is on!

CrocsAreValid:......

CrocsAreValid: Sero how did you get here so quick man?

 

DesignatedDecorater: Determination 

The1TailedBeast: _Sudden Undertale Flashbacks_

ThePumpkinKing: RIP you furry 

BillNye: Oh dear

The1TailedBeast: I could Kill you with a single G note on a piano don't @me

TheMid2000's: OOF 

ThePumpkinKing: Now I just feel attacked  

90'sLavaLamp: Are we all just sleeping on the fact that Todoroki just murdered Deku

90'sLavaLamp: With a fucking Avengers quote

TheMid2000's: I was shook too

TheMid2000's: I thought he was culturally stunted

ThorKin: He hasn't watched Snow White or any Disney movies

ThorKin: He's culturally traumatized Jirou

TheMid2000's: Then how the fuck does he know the Avengers?!!

 TraumatizedPeppermint: Bakugou made me watch it when Kaminari changed his username to ThorKin

{TheSun has logged on}

TheSun: OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ThorKin:O h 

ThorKin: NO

TheSun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ThorKin: D E S I S T 

{TheHamburglerBut30 has logged on}

TheHamburglerBut30: Aizawa sensei is online again

TraumatizedPeppermint: Sounds like something a secret love child would say

TheGreenCareBear: S T O P

ThorKin:!!!!

ThorKin: @Aizawa Why'd we get two new siblings father?

TheMid2000's: Pretty sure you don't think about sibling like you do Shinshou

ThorKin: W̸̖͔͖͙̥̞͍̤̖̱̞̝͙͒̍̾͝ḩ̴̨̢̻̹͙͚͓̗̝͓͙̾̃̑͜ȃ̷̟͓͔̲̭̼́̚t̴̢̘͖̗̲̻͉̬̺̟̰̱̳̯̺̾'̸̡̡̩͙͆̂̏̏̋̾̕͘ḑ̴̤̤̳̥̤̤̟̝̘̖͕̦̳͔̂͌́ ̶̪̭̺̠͈̣̟̈́̈͑̑͌̀̅̒̆͂̚y̷̰̌͛͗́̃ö̷̘̳͇̞̩̖̼̱́͆u̸̢͖͔̼͍̦̠̯̬̳͑̈́̊̔̽͌̍͌̎̋͜͜͝ͅ ̶̜̰͇̖͙̅̈́̓̚͠͝ş̶̧̳͖̟̟̖͉̱̞̻̪̠͑̄̿͂̚a̷̯̼̲̙̣̩͎̓͂̔̉̈́̑͛̈́̂̽͐̽͌͜ỷ̵͚J̷̢̪̠̬͈̈́͛̀̆͂̽̔ȉ̶̢̝̮̹̼͍̠̣̏̂̍̄̇͘͜͠r̴̤̼͉̩̹͚̮̝̔̌̔̚ǫ̶̦̺͎̠̯͍͇̩̦͇̼̫̫̔͐̈́̅͆̎͗͘͝ũ̶̡̢̦͈̹͍̳̉̀̒͐̓̈́̾̈́̽̈́͑͠ ̵̢̨̧̱͔̼̝̹̮̼̭̜̪̆̇͋̌͊:̶̧̗͈̪̰͕̙̫̯̎̉̽̓͑̑͋̍̏̊̄͘͜͠ͅ)̶̛̘̭̈́̈̂̊̍̓̇̇̒̊̃̏͠͝

TheMid2000's: NOTHING PLEASE DONT SKIN ME

TheMid2000's: Like FUCK Kami

ThorKin: :) 

{Aizawa has logged on}

Aizawa: Stop lowering the damn veil Kaminari, it's fragile enough thanks to Dark Shadow

ThorKin: Alright dad

Aizawa:........You're on thin fucking ice

ThorKin:!!!

Aizawa: Anyway, @DIEnamite come online, the Truth or Torture session is canceled 

{DIEnamite has logged on}

DIEnamite: Well there goes my fucking Saturday

Aizawa: I aim to please

Aizawa: Alright, so as you all know Mineta was expelled yesterday

HaveUSeenMe: Praise Cthuhlu 

Aizawa: Amen.

Aizawa: As I was saying, Mineta was finally expelled and so we had a vacant purple spot:  Nedzu and I have been thinking about Shinshou for a while so we chose him. 

Aizawa: We also had a spot open for me to chose a student from the sports festival, I picked Manoma and then kidnapped him.

Aizawa: Because Blood King was pissed that Nedzu was giving me one of his kids, and he would not let me just walk out with him

DIEnamite: So you fucking stole him

Aizawa: Yes, yes I did

DIEnamite:...Nice

TrueKakashi: But why did you chose me sensei?

Aizawa: Because you are determined, intelligent, and ambitious.

Aizawa: Do I need any other reasons?

TrueKakashi: aaagaASDSDGJFVHKKYTBTDTFJNHBHVNFGNM,

Aizawa:.......

Aizawa: @CrocsAreValid Do I want to know?

CrocsAreValid: He started to get flustered when you complimented him!

CrocsAreValid: Right now he's face down on the carpet screeching!

TheSun: Oh mon Dieu! I can hear it, the poor dear!

TheSun: Oh he's stopped?

DesignatedDecorater: Yeah he did. Right now he's just whispering " Father has chosen me"

{ThorKin has set Aizawa's nickname to AccidentalFather}

90'sLavaLamp: Oh God 

90'sLavaLamp: The Accuracy

AccidentalFather:.....

AccidentalFather: I'm not father material

{LivingSoundSystem has entered the chat}

LivingSoundSystem: Pure lies and slander

{LivingSoundSystem has exited the chat}

ThorKin: WHAT THE FUCK

90'sLavaLamp: HE CAN DO THAT 

TheHamburglerBut30: No place is safe from Present Mic

AccidentalFather: Hizashi you funky fucking Weasel 

AccidentalFather: Now they're paranoid

TraumatizedPeppermint: I'm always paranoid

AccidentalFather: I know

{AccidentalFather has logged off}

TraumatizedPeppermint: ......So

TraumatizedPeppermint: Hizashi huh?

TheSun: OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

90'SLavaLamp: OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HaveUSeenMe: OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Newton'sAHoe: OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

DIEnamite: Oh God No

 

 

 

Chapter Text

5:30 PM

{ThorKin and 20 others have logged on}

ThorKin: Can we just thank Kirishima for all our fucking lives?

DesignatedDecorater: Y E S

DesignatedDecorater: Yes we can 

CrocsAreValid: GUYS NO!!

90'sLavaLamp:  GUYS YES

TheHamburglerBut30: Your sacrifice should be acknowledged by all

TrueKakashi: Personally

TrueKakashi: You're getting my future first-born child for your actions

CrocsAreValid: Noooo ManomaBro stop!!

TrueKakashi: Too fucking late

TrueKakashi: My lawyer already has the guardianship papers drawn up

CrocsAreValid: BRO

DIEnamite: Shitty hair shut the fuck up!

DIEnamite: You got Todoroki to watch eight fucking Disney movies

DIEnamite: Which stopped him from eating CopyCat's godforsaken soul

DIEnamite: And from playing matchmaker with our fucking T E A C H E R S 

DIEnamite: WE ARE FUCKING THANKING YOU, YOU SHIT!

CrocsAreValid: ............

ThorKin: Sero is that Kirishima in the kitchen?

DesignatedDecorater: The muffled screaming?

DesignatedDecorater: Yes.

DIEnamite: How the fuck is it being muffled?

DIEnamite: The softest fucking thing in there is Kaminari's chocolate marshmallows

ThorKin: sent PNG-NotTheOnlySoftthing-

ThorKin: Sero is actually the softest thing in the kitchen Bakugou

90'sLavaLamp: Awww! Sero, you're like Kiri's own personal pillow!

TheHamburglerBut30: It's so cute, so pure

TrueKakashi: I can feel the cavities setting in just by looking at that picture

PumpkinKing: My cold dead heart 

PumpkinKing: It beats yet again, a feat I thought impossible

The1TailedBeast: Calm the fuck down EdgeLord 

PumpkinKing: I think the fuck not, Ojirou you damned weeb

 

PumpkinKing:Ă̶̯͈̈́̈͛̒̒͋̈̕͝͠f̸̢̨̘͇͈͕͍̱̜͔̦͔̰͙̐̒̃͑̆̽̇̅͆ţ̴͍̦̯͖̦̱͉̩̪͐͌͑̌̌͑̈́́͋͂͂͒̕͜͠͝e̷̜̠͓̼͊͆͗̆ŗ̴̻̭̖̳̭̺̼̟͚̜̎ȧ̷̤̭̩͙̗͚̳̫̩̫̻̜͐̇l̴͙̈́̉̾͌̎̋̽̎̕l̸̪̬̝̿̓͋̀̂͘ ̴̤̙͍̣̙̼̳̈͋̎͗̎̿́͊̚î̷͔̬̤͚͉̹̲̖̀͂̎̓͑̚̚͝ţ̵̥͎͓̙̞͉̖̤̦̰́̈́̾̍͂̉̿́͘̚ͅ'̷͙̯̼̤̙̟͊̔̏̽̊͑̈́̒̀̂̃͘̚͝s̵̢̲̭̭̞̹̆͛̂̈́̈́̐̅͊͝ ̵̳͖̻̩͙̭̯͓͔̗̬̩̈̃̊̃̈͒̓͋͌͌̒̔̀̄͝a̷̘͂͌͆̅̍̄͑̈͌͑̾̓͊͂̕l̷̢͉̝̟͚̼̺̍̇̅̈́̚̚͜ͅm̶̧͉̺̱͕͖̲̹̯̅̽̅̈́͐̇̀͂̿͂͊ŏ̶̖̥̪͚͔͖̗͇̞̫̻̼̹̦͌̎͑͘͜s̵̹̅t̷̟̺̜̠̭̺̾̉̈̿̏͛̈̎ ̶̘͔̟͈̱̳͓̼̟̝̱̠̙̗͒ṯ̶̡̛̖̖͙̤̮͑͑̐̋̐̄̕͝h̸̭͖̼̹̋̐̎͜e̵̟̹͍̙̖̽̎͂͐̐̆̈́̅̑̅͆̉͜͝͠͝ ̷̨̨̧̢̱͚̘͇̞͇̩̯͉̖̙̅̃̎̏̐̓̋͊a̵͖̟͍̲̪͔̲̲̘͆̽̂͂ͅṗ̶̨̰͈̘͙̘͉͕͔̤̯͚̳̃̿p̶̧̧̛̪̜̮̣̘̱̰͔͎̲͌̊͒͋̅̐̌͐́͂͘͝o̸̡̧̧̗̼̗͖̣̽̈́̽̈͂̇͑͆̌͋͘̚͜i̵̢̡̦̳͎̭͕͈̰̣̼̹̗͈̜̓̎̚ņ̵̢͔̱̩̗̱̠͓̞̥̠̩̩͖̀͝t̸̩͂̈e̶̗̳͔͌̅͝d̵̢̝̺͖̪̪̩̹̱̲̦͎͑̄́̀͜ ̸̲͕͚̬͉̪̝͓̊̀̋̑̄ṫ̸̢̯͙̹͍̰͆̌̽̍͂̽̐̎̈́̉̚͘͝i̷̛͓̮̯̦̝͇̱̪̩̗̩͇̫͙̔͒̽͊͂̄͌̋̍͒̚̕͜m̶̛̗̥̥̱̠̱̤̬͇̎̈́̑̐̐́͐̍ȩ̵̡̞̳̳̗̰̬͍̜̳̻̙͆̀͛̒̓̚͘̕͝

 

The1TailedBeast: No

The1TailedBeast: OH GOD NO

The1TailedBeast: I THOUGHT THAT WAS NEXT WEEK

 

PumpkinKing: YOU FOOL

PumpkinKing: IT IS TODAY

TheHamburglerBut30: What in the actual fuck is happening here?

KermitKin: It’s the bi-weekly Emo meeting

TrueKakashi: You guys

TrueKakashi: HAVE MEETINGS?!

TrueKakashi: LIKE DAMN. 1-B’s Emo’s just individually plotted our murders

Newton’sAHoe: I don’t know if that’s better

Newton’sAHoe: Or worse?

PumpkinKing: Hmm perhaps we should mingle with the other creatures of despair

90’sLavaLamp: Please don’t

PumpkinKing: I will bring it to vote today

90’sLavaLamp: PLEASE DONT

PumpkinKing: I expect to see the usuals at the meeting

PumpkinKing: @TheMid2000’s@TraumatizedPeppermint, and @KakashiFusion

TheMid2000’s: Applying eyeliner as we speak

TraumatizedPeppermint: I’m grabbing the dark chocolate

KakashiFusion: I’m already at your door Tokoyami

PumpkinKing: Superb

PumpkinKing: Oh, Of course, Monoma-San and Shinsou-San you are also welcome to come

TrueKakashi: Sorry, currently running to hide in Aoyama’s room to hide

TrueKakashi: Just in case you summon fucking demons

PumpkinKing: Understandable, Beelzebub can be quite temperamental

90’sLavaLamp: He’s on a first name with them

90’sLavaLamp: Excuse me while I go I hide with MonomaBro

TheHamburglerBut30: I’ll be coming

TheHamburglerBut30: Just let me grab my nail polish man

PumpkinKing: Excellent!

DesignatedDecorater: Oh no

CrocsAreValid: They’ve taken him

PumpkinKing: oh Shinsou-San, can you grab something on your way?

TheHamburglerBut30: Depends, what am I picking up?

HaveUSeenMe: Probably human souls

PumpkinKing: Kaminari

CrocsAreValid: W H A T

TheHamburglerBut30: On it

HaveUSeenMe: OOF WELL DAMN

HaveUSeenMe: I WAS RIGHT

DesignatedDecorater: NO, GOD NO SPARE THE CHILD

ThorKin: SHINSOU NO

ThorKin: NO PUT ME

ThorKin: DOWN

The1TailedBeast: I can’t bear to watch

90’sLavaLamp: @DIEnamite

90’sLavaLamp: S T O P. THEM.

{DIEnamite has logged on}

DIEnamite: Hold The Fuck Up

DIEnamite: What's the fucking meaning of this TweetyBird

PumpkinKing: He’s one of ours

PumpkinKing: And you know it

ThorKin: FAKE FUCKING NEWS TOKOYAMI

PumpkinKing: if that’s true

PumpkinKing: Then why not show us your Spotify playlist

ThorKin:..........

PumpkinKing: Well my fellow void opener?

 

 

ThorKin: Į̵̨̳̦͈̙̮̩̰̝͍̭̫͕͚͉͈̺̱̦̱̪̫̟̬͕̟̤͕̝̥̜̘̼̃̍̔́̍͝͠ͅ ̸͇͎̪̤͍͇͙̃̋̈͗͌̆̑̒̈́̉̽͐͛̈́̉̀͛͐̀̆̓̈́͛̅͆̉̋̎̒͘̚̕̚͘͘͜͝w̶̧̛͎̲̫̠̜̩̌̇͋͌̽̅̇̊̍̈́̽̊̄͌̒̏̿͋̈́͆̆͠ͅͅĭ̸̢̧̻̥̘͖̲̲̫͍͇̦͓͖̻̹͓͚̥̗̲̑̒͌̑̀̒̐͊͛͒͛͘̚͝͝͝l̶̢̲̪̤͕̻̰͍͔̘̹̳̗̱͇̲͕͉̮̓̿̂̏̈̓́͜͝ͅl̶̡̨̨̡̡̛̻͙̙̩̰̬̪͍͉̮̲̳̪͇̯͚̳̭̺͉͎̤̜̟͓̘̟̖̿͂̏͗͋̑͜͜ͅ ̴̦̻̼̟̯͙̟̭͎̺͕̤̰̳̅̑̿͌̐͂̌̃̄̃̌̔̈́̃̒̔̇͐̏̉̾͛̈́̉͗̈̕͜͜͝m̴̧̡̡̧̛̛̥̱̹͈̩͓͎͕̖͇̤͆͑̎̽̓̅̀́̿͂̈̋̒̐̓̊̋̕̚͝͠͝ả̵̬͇͉͗̽̓̍̂͂̎͆͆̓̌̑̇̉̽̑͠͠k̴̨̡͓̹̜͔̬̪̱͎͓̜̳̺̖̪̩̲̳͔͙͚̤̼̼͖̠͖̱̼͈̑̈͒͝ͅe̸̡̛̪͙̝͕͍̣̫͚͎͔̊̍͂̓͊̔͒̿̈̋̀̎͐̈́̑̊̌̀͛͑̑̍͋̓̈́͛̾̓̓̎̆̔̏̋̾̕͘̕͘͘͜͝ ̷̩̩̰̼̖̙̮͓̯͗ͅy̴̦̘̓̿͊͊̑̂͘o̸̢̺̦͙̤̖̰̙͎̘̔̒̀͠͠ͅų̵̲̫̹̫̱̤̹̝̠̣͕͇̫̜̫̲̻͉̟͔̩͒͗̏͐̈́͌͆̓̂̈́ ̵̛̛̣̠͇͉̳̮͓͈͎̻̋͗́̏̔͒͂̆̐͒͑̂͋̎͋̂̎͛͑̚͝͠i̷̛̛̦̩͎͍̮̝̱̫̹̯̩̺̳͕̱͙̿̓͐̂̂̈͑͗͋͗̍͊̊̐͛͂͛́̅̌̑̆͗̋̅̃̅̇͌͝͝n̷̬͉̲͔̮̜̳̭͍̽̔̒͑̄̓͐ţ̵̢̢̛̮̙͕̺̖̤̤̘̥͎̳̖̩̖̻̪͉̝̫͆̍̌́͋̀̍̈̌̽̋̽̎͐̒͋̓͛̄̏̔̅͒̌̇͘̕ơ̸̢̨̢̨̰̖͎͉̮̱̜͈̫̗̠̞͙̪̜̘͈̤̦̞̲̖͎̹̭̝͇̰̓͛̈́̀͜ ̴̨͕̱͕̗͉̲͇̒̇̎̔͌̆̊͌̎̀͗̈́͆̊̑̚͠͝͝͠ǡ̴̢̛̙̮͈̮͙̪̜̃̒̈́̃̿̀́͋̄̄̊͐̋̈́̎̐̑̎̕̚͘͝ ̶̨̢̛͇̣͕̪̫͓̘̲̻̫͓̳̺̱̥̠̐̊̃̔̀̽̈́̆̓͒̐̉̓̿̚̚͝͝ͅͅẖ̴̨̨̨͍̥͓͙͕͙͙̬̳̮̟̝͉̘͈̘̟̘̦͚̻̱̼̞͇̫̦̰͈͔̋͊̅̆̋̚͜͝ͅa̶̡̡̮̗̞̗̮͈͇̯͓̮͉͈̜̠̼̅̅͗̋̓̋͆͒̅͋̉̋͐̉͊̊̋̋́̏̎̀̌͆̆͗͑͒̒̄̍̀̀͆̚͘͘͜͜͠t̷͚̩̟̗̞̹͓͔̘͖̫͕̻̖̟͙̯͕͚̲͕̟̪̜̂̈͝

 

TheMid2000’s: I knew it

CrocsAreValid: BRO NO

CrocsAreValid: PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT TRUE

TraumatizedPeppermint: The man wears a choker and a leather jacket Kirishima

TraumatizedPeppermint: What did you expect

90’sLavaLamp: I can’t watch this

{90’sLavaLamp has logged off}

DIEnamite: Kaminari

Newton’sAHoe: Oh shit his real name

CrocsAreValid: My Bro goes to meet Jesus today

DIEnamite:...Are You An Emo?

ThorKin:...Yes

DIEnamite: How long?

ThorKin: ...... Since the beginning 

DIEnamite: Then go to that fucking meeting

DIEnamite: Be the best damn emo there ever was, and take Tokoyami's fucking crown

ThorKin: I’ll  bring you the entire empire 

DIEnamite: You bet your ass you will

 

Newton’sAHoe:

 

CrocsAreValid:

 

The1TailedBeast:

 

KermitKin:

 

 

BillNye:

 

GordonRamsey:

 

 

TheGreenCareBear: What the fuck did I just read

 

JustDissapointed: MIDORIYA

 


 

6:20 PM

TheMid2000’s: How can he sing Evanescence’s Immortal better than me

ThorKin: Talent

TheMid2000’s: Fuck You This is Homophobic

ThorKin: I’m a Bi Bitch thank, you very much, you funky lesbian

TraumatizedPeppermint: Sorry we couldn’t tell because of your thirst for Shxjakalsnajkalalajaksnsjzbzjalajalsnskznjakai6182$18/

Newton'sAHoe: W h a t 

ThorKin: I’m sorry Todorki

ThorKin: Did you say something :)

PumpkinKing: @Newton'sAHoe Todoroki’s deceased

PumpkinKing: It is very  tragic 

TrueKakashi: @TheBakuSquad

TrueKakashi: How the fuck

TrueKakashi: Did you all miss Kaminari being the 2nd most terrifying emo oF THEM  ALL

TrueKakashi: ARE YOU BLIND

CrocsAreValid: YES WE WERE BLIND

CrocsAreValid: BLINDED BY LOVE MONOMABRO!

Newton’sAHoe: I’m still so shook by all this

Newton’sAHoe: I have to ask Kaminari, what’s it like in there?

ThorKin: Well

ThorKin: There’s a blood red carpet in here that wasn’t before

KermitKin: OoF

ThorKin: And Tokoyami put up some skull-shaped fairy lights

{DIEnamite has logged on}

DIEnamite: @PumkinKing Where

PumpkinKing: Etsy, ¥1,469

DIEnamite: Carry the fuck on

{DIEnamite has logged off}

TheGreenCareBear: This day is a hallucination, I swear

Newton’sAHoe: You're not wrong, but you shouldn't say it

Newton’sAHoe: Carry on Kaminari

ThorKin: Tokoyami has three really soft black beanbag chairs that we’re sitting in and we’re all arranged in a triangle

ThorKin: Two in each

KermitKin: Who is sitting with who?

TheHamburglerBut30: I and Kami are in one, Tokoyami and Shouji are in one, and Jirou and Todoroki are in the last one

TheSun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TraumatizedPeppermint: I am a homosexual good sir

TheSun: Understandable have a good day mon ami!

Newton’sAHoe: Lovely, but what do you guys DO in your meetings?

ThorKin: Stream The Nightmare Before Christmas, put Breaking Benjamin on Jirou’s speakers, and sing!

Tokoyami: We also discuss the horrible weight of existence

ThorKin: Yeah that too

Newton’sAHoe: Kami..... do you need me to call the police?

ThorKin: Actually I'm having fun!

Newton’sAHoe:.....

DesignatedDecorater:....

DesignatedDecorater: Kami, bro

DesignatedDecorater: That’s called Stockholm Syndrome 

Tokoyami: I am offended

Tokoyami: Kaminari is having fun because he is with his people

DesignatedDecorater: Lies

Tokoyami: He’s emo Sero accept it

DesignatedDecorater: N E V E R

DesignatedDecorater: HE IS PERSONIFIED SUNSHINE

TheSun: Mon Amis can you be a little quieter, please

TheSun: Monoma has just fallen asleep

DesignatedDecorater:...I can try

TheSun: Merci Sero!

Newton’sAHoe: Wait a minute

BillNye: Oh no

Newton’sAHoe: So Mina left your room but Monoma didn't huh?

TheSun: Yes! In fact, he’s sleeping on the bed

TheSun: sent PNG-He’sCurledLikeAKitten-

Newton’sAHoe: Marry Him

KermitKin: Monoma-San is surprisingly sweet

CrocsAreValid: How can he sleep with the disco ball on??

JustDissapointed: The difference in all of your reactions is simply astounding

TheMid2000’s: Uraraka do you want some exclusive information

Newton’sAHoe: Yes

Newton’sAHoe: Gimme

TheMid2000’s: Sent MP4- ShiKami sings bring me to life-

Newton’sAHoe:!!!!!!!

Newton’sAHoe: EIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

TheGreenCareBear: JESUS MY EARS

The1TailedBeast: How did she break the window in my room?

PumpkinKing: Determination

The1TailedBeast: S T O P

TheHamburglerBut30: Here's a PSA! Kami's voice can actually go pretty high

TheHamburglerBut30: It's adorable

ThorKin: Lies

TheHamburglerBut30: Meet me in the pit you adorable little shit

CrocsAreValid: Hey Shinsou

TheHamburglerBut30:  Yeah Kiri?

CrocsAreValid: Did you know Kami's username used to be PikaPissed

ThorKin: Bro 

ThorKin: Betrayal

{TheHamburglerBut30 has set ThorKin's nickname to PikaPretty}

TheHamburglerBut30: Sorry 

TheHamburglerBut30: Couldn't help myself, it's more accurate this way

PikaPretty: I

{PikaPretty has logged off}

Newton'sAHoe: Is

Newton'sAHoe: IS KAMI OKAY?

PumpkinKing: He's currently squealing into Shinsou's chest 

PumpkinKing: So I'd say he's more than okay 

Newton'sAHoe: !!!!!!!!

The1TailedBeast: And that is the story

The1TailedBeast: Of how we broke all the fucking windows

 

 

Chapter Text

 8:45 AM

 

{DesignatedDecorater and 15 others have logged on}

DesignatedDecorater: Do Y'all know what the scariest thing in the world is?

DesignatedDecorater: Aside from Tokoyami I mean

Newton’sAHoe: Sero

Newton’sAHoe: it is 8 in the morning on a Sunday

Newton’sAHoe: It’s too early for this shit

CrocsAreValid: lies it’s the perfect time for this

CrocsAreValid: I love waking up to a gentle roasting

DesignatedDecorater: Kiri you’re my ride or die, bro,

CrocsAreValid: Bro

TheGreenCareBear: Wait, Sero what were you gonna say?

DesignatedDecorater: Oh! Oh yeah so the scariest thing in the world is

DesignatedDecorater: Waking up to get water at 3 am, and passing by the common room

DesignatedDecorater: Only to see Bakugou and Todoroki watching Hell’s Kitchen and quietly screaming at any cook who isn’t Gordon Ramsey

{GordonRamsey has logged on}

GordonRamsey: I have been summoned

GordonRamsey: What season was it?

DesignatedDecorater: I think it was season eight?

GordonRamsey: Then it’s completely understandable 

GordonRamsey: Season eight was horrible

Newton’sAHoe: Horrible chefs who burn the damned eggs aside

Newton’sAHoe: They were watching it together?

DesignatedDecorater: Y E S

DesignatedDecorater: Todorki had one arm around BakuBro and his other on his knee and I think we need to have the shovel talk

DesignatedDecorater: @ThorKin@90’sLavaLamp@CrocsAreValid@TrueKakashi, and @TheHamburglerBut30

DesignatedDecorater: You in? 

90’sLavaLamp: I’ll get the jumper cables

CrocsAreValid: No Mina!

PikaPretty: Mina stop

PikaPretty: I am the jumper cables

CrocsAreValid: BABES

CrocsAreValid: NO

CrocsAreValid: We cannot murder an innocent man!

TrueKakashi: Who’s to say Todoroki is an innocent man?

TrueKakashi: The evidence is stacked against him

TheHamburglerBut30: And who says we will give him the mercy of murder?

TheMid2000’s: Jesus Holy Christ

TheMid2000’s: At least let the defendant speak at his trial before you burn him at the stake 

PikaPretty: Jirou, this is not a democracy

90’sLavaLamp: It's a Dictatorial State

TheGreenCareBear: We live in Japan

CrocsAreValid: My loves

CrocsAreValid: My terror twins, I think their idea has some merit!

TheHamburglerBut30: And if he’s found guilty afterward

TheHamburglerBut30: Then we can proceed with the plan

CrocsAreValid: ..........

CrocsAreValid: At this point, I’ll take what I can get

DesignatedDecorater: @TraumatizedPeppermint Come, And testify before a jury of your peers!

TheGreenCareBear: Oh no

{ TraumatizedPeppermint has logged on}

TraumatizedPeppermint: You rang? 

Newton’sAHoe: Oh yes!

TraumatizedPeppermint:...... Should I find that particularly concerning?

PikaPretty: Why yes

PikaPretty: Yes you should

TraumatizedPeppermint: Alright I’ve read the chat

DesignatedDecorater: And what do you have to say in your defense?

TheMid2000’s: At least read him his rights

PikaPretty: He has no rights

Traumatized Peppermint: I only have one thing to say

Newton’ sAHoe: Which is?

Traumatized Peppermint:  I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

{ Traumatized Peppermint has logged off}

ThorKin:

DesignatedDecorater:

90’sLavaLamp:

CrocsAreValid:

TheGreenCareBear:

TheHamburglerBut30:

TrueKakashi:

GordonRamsey:

KermitKin: Oh

ThePumpkinking: My

BillNye: God

DesignatedDecorater: BakuSquad?

PikaPretty: Yes captain?

TheHamburglerBut30: What are your orders?

DesignatedDecorater: F I N D H I M

 

{PikaPretty, CrocsAreValid, TrueKakashi, DesignatedDecorater, 90’sLavaLamp, And TheHamburglerBut30 have logged off}

 

TheGreenCareBear: I can’t believe Todoroki is fucking dead

 

JustDissapointed: Mood

 

Newton’sAHoe: GASP

 

TheGreenCareBear: IIDA!!

 

BillNye: It seems God is dead

 

BillNye: And Todoroki killed him

 


 

 

1:16 PM

 

 

 

{AccidentalFather has logged on}

 

AccidentalFather: Do any of you problem children know why Sero is leading Kami, Mina, Shinsou, Kirishima, And Monoma around the dorm chanting “Here Todoroki~” While holding cold Soba?

AccidentalFather: Because I sure as fuck would like to know why

Newton’sAHoe: Honestly sir

Newton’sAHoe: I know why they’re doing it

Newton’sAHoe: But I wish I didn’t

AccidentalFather: Explain

TheGreenCareBear: Sensei It’s a very difficult situation

TheGreenCareBear: You either want to join them or go smuggle Todoroki to America in a bubble wrapped box

TheGreenCareBear: There is no middle ground

AccidentalFather: I can already tell that I hate this 

ThePumpkinKing: Imagine having to live through it since almost nine this morning

AccidentalFather: Why the fuck didn’t anyone call me when this started

KermitKin: You needed the sleep sensei

KermitKin: And the soba trap only started thirty minutes ago

AccidentalFather:...

AccidentalFather: What else did the dumbasses do and how did they get the two new problem children to join

TheGreenCareBear: Well

TheGreenCareBear: The BakuSquad( which now has Monoma and Shinsou as new members) found out that Todoroki And Kacchan we’re hanging out at 3 am this morning and Todoroki had his arms around Kacchan's shoulder and knee so they tried to interrogate him and give Todoroki the shovel talk

Newton’sAHoe: But then Todoroki said “I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” and logged off before they could get answers

KermitKin: And ever since they’ve tried luring him out with threats of violence, Kaminari’s Emo Spotify

Playlist, and cold soba respectively 

AccidentalFather: Where’s Bakugou right now

TheGreenCareBear: I think he’s still asleep 

AccidentalFather: Then why the hell haven’t any of you tried waking Bakugo up and asking him to I don’t know

AccidentalFather: S t o p T h e m?

TheGreenCareBear:

KermitKin:

Newton’sAHoe:.......

Newton’sAHoe:...Because we thrive off drama

AccidentalFather: Oh for fuck's sake

AccidentalFather: @DIEnamite Wake the fuck up and corral your minions Bakugou

{DIEnamite has logged on}

DIEnamite: What the FUCK did they do?!

AccidentalFather: Apparently attempted homicide

DIEnamite:.....Give me

DIEnamite: Thirty Minutes 

{DIENamite has logged off}

TheGreenCareBear: Sensei

TheGreenCareBear: You May have just killed them

AccidentalFather: And that

AccidentalFather: Is a chance I’m willing to take

{AccidentalFather has logged off}

Newton’sAHoe: Let us pray for the wicked

Iida: Amen

TheGreenCareBear: I I D A!


 

1:46 PM

{DIEnamite has logged on}

 

DIEnamite: Alright my assholes are fucking corraled 

Newton'sAHoe: How'd you calm them down so quick

DIEnamite: Who said they were calm RoundFace?

Newton'sAHoe: But you said?

BillNye: He literally corralled them, he used Sero's own tape to tie them up in the common room 

Newton'sA'Hoe: Oh shit

ThePumpkinKing: You have my eternal respect Bakugou

DIEnamite: Yeah, yeah

DIEnamite: Do any of you fuckers know where that damned Todoroki is?

TheGreenCareBear:....... Why do you wanna know Kacchan?

DIEnamite: Because Deku

DIEnamite: I am going to fucking blow his face off for being a dramatic ass bitch 

DIEnamite: Instead of just telling them why we were up at three in the goddamned morning 

{TruamatizedPeppermint has logged on}

TruamatizedPeppermint: I was unsure if you wanted them to know

TruamatizedPeppermint: I didn't want to make anything harder on you if you didn't 

DIEnamite: Oh for fuck's sake

DIEnamite: It wouldn't have fucking bothered me Todoroki if you had told them, they worry too goddamn much for me to not tell them the truth

TruamatizedPeppermint: I see, I am very sorry for troubling you Bakugou

DIEnamite:.....Shut the fuck up, you meant well enough 

DIEnamite: At least I got to see you fucking destroy them with a single quote

Newton'sAHoe: Trust me when I say I truly hate to break this moment up

Newton'sAHoe: Cause I really fucking do

Newton'sAHoe: But Bakugou are you okay???!

DIEnamite: I'm fucking alright you cherub looking motherfucker

DIEnamite: I just had a flashback of the training camp after I woke up from a nightmare last night

DIEnamite: Todoroki was up when I stumbled into the Common room, the guy sat with me and watched Hell's Kitchen to calm me the fuck down

TruamatizedPeppermint: Calling them " Flavorless bitches who didn't even know what Cumin was until Gordon shoved it up their asses" seemed to work well

DIEnamite: I still can't believe you fucking said that you Fourth of July edition Ken Doll 

TruamatizedPeppermint: I am

TruamatizedPeppermint: H u r t 

DIEnamite: Then. Suffer.

DIEnamite: Also Deku I can see that the fucking typing icon has been there for ten damned minutes 

TheGreenCareBear: But Kacchan!

DIEnamite: STOP

DIEnamite: Ill tell the therapist about the fuckin flashback on Monday okay?

DIEnamite: HAPPY?!

TheGreenCareBear: YES! 

TheGreenCareBear: IM SO PROUD OF YOU KACCHAN!

DIEnamite:..... Whatever

DIEnamite: I'll let my fucking idiots go so they can read the chat 

DIEnamite: Then you'll have five minutes before you're hunted for their remorse dogpile Todoroki

TruamatizedPeppermint: At least give me ten

DIEnamite: You'll get five and you'll fucking appreciate it, Sero won't be joining though so you are extra fucking lucky

TruamatizedPeppermint: Not that I'm not grateful, but why isn't Sero joining?

DIEnamite: He's on his fucking period but decided to hunt you down instead of resting, so now I'm making him

DIEnamite: He pushes himself too damn much when he's on his period and always ends up curled up on Kiri's bed, and I'm hoping he can avoid that this time

TruamatizedPeppermint: You do know I am a walking hot and cold press right?

DIEnamite:...After the dogpile

Newton'sAHoe: I'll come too! I'll bring him my emergency chocolate!

TheGreenCareBear: I can bring all my AllMight pillows!

DIEnamite:... Fucking fine

DIEnamite: The rest of the shitheads are already in the common room cooing over him so let's make a day of it 

TheGreenCareBear: I'm on my way!

Newton'sAHoe: Me too

DIEnamite: But don't you dare think you're getting out the dogpile Todorki cause I just released them so

DIEnamite: Run

{DIENamite has logged off}

TruamatizedPeppermint: FUCK

 

Chapter Text

6:00 AM

{PikaPretty and 19 others have logged on}

PikaPretty: Whoever took my skin cream, send your location I just want to talk

TraumatizedPeppermint: You May want to fess up

TraumatizedPeppermint: This Pikachu is terrifying

GordonRamsey: I know it’s true Todoroki, but I still have a hard time accepting it

PikaPretty: I will meet you at Denny’s parking lot at 3 am, by 8 am I will be back at that same Denny’s eating a chocolate pancake

PikaPretty: Knowing that I’ve already hidden you were no lawman can find you

TraumatizedPeppermint: Not so hard now is it?

GordonRamsey: Yes

GordonRamsey: Yes I suppose so

TheMid2000’s: Your parents must be proud to have raised such a terrifying child

PikaPretty: Pft!

PikaPretty: What parents

TraumatizedPeppermint: Oof God tier mood Kami

TheHamburglerBut30: Wait what

TheHamburglerBut30: Please tell me your joking

PikaPretty: Nah bro. I’m an orphan

ThePumpkinKing: OH

ThePumpkinKing: The darkness reveals itself

TheMid2000’s: Why does it always come to shit like this

TheMid2000’s: Why can’t we be normal

PikaPretty: Jirou we are all basically fucking X-Men but tiny

PikaPretty: We physically can’t be normal

JustDissapointed: It is time to go to class but

JustDissapointed: We will discuss this later


 

11:45 AM

{TheHamburglerBut30 and 17 others have logged on}

TheHamburglerBut30: Okay we are getting back to this right fucking now

DIEnamite: The Troll doll is right for once

DIEnamite: In all seriousness though why aren’t Todoroki and Pikachu In fucking therapy?

JustDissapointed: While I disagree with their language I have to agree with Bakugou and Shinsou

JustDissapointed: My friends, why haven’t you sought psychological assistance for your traumas?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Because Endeavor doesn’t want his dirty laundry aired so he won’t let me get therapy

90’sLavaLamp: Murder time

PikaPretty: Personally, I don’t have enough money to pay for the sessions

TheHamburglerBut30: Kami...there’s a relief fund for orphan heroes in UA

PikaPretty: There is?

TheHamburglerBut30: Yes

TheHamburglerBut30: And I’m calling Aizawa to set your first session up as we speak

PikaPretty: Shinsou I adore you with all my neurons

PikaPretty: But that will aggravate Todorki’s secret love child tendencies

TheHamburglerBut30: Bitch

TheHamburglerBut30: You’re worth it

TheHamburglerBut30: Now I’ve gotta call-$.Dr.HjanKkskskslJakKoOLWKSJALZOS KJSJALAMZKSKSJAKK! :&&/1$

TrueKakashi: Question

TrueKakashi: Was Shinsou just fucking assassinated?

TraumatizedPeppermint: I would also like to know if Shinsou is deceased

TheGreenCareBear: Shinsou is fine guys!

TheGreenCareBear: Kaminari just tackle hugged him while he was typing

TrueKakashi: Ooh

TraumatizedPeppermint: Well that’s disappointing, In his will, I get his nail polish

DIEnamite: Sorry to disappoint but he’s alive

DIEnamite: You would know that if you’d come to eat in the damned cafeteria

DIEnamite: Also,

DIEnamite: FUCK. ENDEAVOR.

JustDissapointed: Bakugou!

TheGreenCareBear: FUCK ENDEAVOR

JustDissapointed: MIDORIYA!

TraumatizedPeppermint: FUCK

TraumatizedPeppermint: ENDEAVOR

JustDissapointed: I swear to God that better not be the start of a cheer I hear on the other side of the cafeteria Monoma-san

TrueKakashi: Sorry Iida, it is

TrueKakashi: And we're going to scream FUCK ENDEAVOR till the man himself hears it

JustDissapointed: I will bring him here so you can say it to his face IF YOU WILL JUST

JustDissapointed: W A I T

TraumatizedPeppermint: .........

TraumatizedPeppermint: We will hold you to that

JustDissapointed: Give me a month

TraumatizedPeppermint: It’s a deal

TheMid2000’s: One with the fucking devil I may add

TheGreenCareBear: But Kacchan doesn’t do deals Jirou?

DIEnamite: BITCH


 

2:45 PM

{AccidentalFather and 16 others have logged on}

AccidentalFather: Kaminari your appointment is on Wednesday at 5 pm

TheHamburglerBut30: Finally

PikaPretty: Thanks, Dad!

AccidentalFather: I’d usually yell at you for that

AccidentalFather: But you’ve got Daddy Issues and I ain’t dealing with that

TheGreenCareBear: I feel that in my soul

AccidentalFather: Also Todorki?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Yes Sensei?

AccidentalFather: Endeavors credit card will be getting a very large charge soon

AccidentalFather: And you will say they were for 30 AirPods and nothing else understand?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Sir Yes Sir!

AccidentalFather: Good

AccidentalFather: Your appointment is on Tuesday at 7

{AccidentalFather has logged off}

90’sLavaLamp: That man is the physical embodiment of Chaotic Good

PikaPretty: God you're right

TheHamburglerBut30: Kami

PikaPretty: Yes Shinsou dear?

TheHamburglerBut30: I’m at your door let me in

TheSun: Ooh la  la~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

DIEnamite: Stop or Perish

DIEnamite: Also open his door your fucking self, you coward

TheHamburglerBut30: I have a two liter of Sprite and three family bags of Doritos in my arms

TheHamburglerBut30: It’s taking all my motor functions to even text right now

TheHamburglerBut30: I physically cannot open his door

PikaPretty: You brought me Sprite!!

PikaPretty: I’ll be at the door in one sec, I just have to detach myself from my fort!

Newton’sAHoe: This is so

Newton’sAHoe: Wholesome

Newton’sAHoe: I love it

TheMid2000’s: Are we sure it’s going to stay Wholesome tho?

TheMid2000’s: I mean we all know Kaminari has been thirsty for thirty years

PikaPretty: Hey Jirou

PikaPretty: W̵̨̤̘̘̺̼͕̩̜̙̳͙̪͖͗̓̇̈̆̅͛̂̍͐̇̎̊̆ͅa̷̧̜̩̻̗̳̠̺̓̇̈̌̔͘n̶̜̮̩͕͚̱͈̮̠̳̉̎͛͛̎̾̇̈́̀͂̚͘͘͝͝n̸̢̡̲̪̤͍̝̖̬̗̫͈̳̖̖̺͖̾̓̇͌̊́̇̒̾͂͊̂͋̋ą̷̧̛̛̛͇̦͈̟͚̼̞̺̦̲͖̰̈́̂͛͊̈́͗̌̇̋̓̂̇͒͐̈́͘͜ ̸̢̨̨̧̤̺͇̳͔͉̪͎̭͔̓̿̈̈̏͐͛̆̊̌̕͝͝ĝ̵̨̜͐̋o̸̲̣͚͍̘̙͈͙͚̣̖͇̝̣̘̩̍̒̃̃̓̽͊͒̃͂͆̂̆͘ͅ ̸̨̡̨͍͇̯̼̻̼̣͍̙͓̰̫̈́̒͆̈̑́͠t̸̛̠̟̜̻̹̟̩͛̈́̕o̴͚̩̝̦̺͌̋ͅ ̷̢̳̲̭̣͚̘̮͐̀̕D̴̙̞͙̼͕̻̺̥̳͐̉̒̉͛͜ͅē̷̡̹̱̙̦͙͖̘͍̰̜̣͙̪̙͍̯̩̊ͅñ̷̛̮͇̖̖̈́́̾̄̽̀̂̃̎n̴̨͍͖̫̝̱̹̐͂̀͌ͅy̶̫̺̯̥̞͇͉̳̭̎̂͑’̵̢̡̡̛̛̲̯̞̪̤̯͚̺͇̬̦̠̲͙͍̥̊̓̃̏̎̎͂̿͘͝ș̴̨̡͚̖̥̉̓̓́

TheMid2000’s: I’ll drown you in their syrup You dollar tree wall outlet

TheGreenCareBear: That is the friendship I aspire to have

DIEnamite: Bitch what am I?

DIEnamite: A Roach?

TheGreenCareBear: Nah

TheGreenCareBear: You’re my pissed off cricket Kacchan!

TheMid2000’s: Is that sweet or shady?

DIEnamite: Both, Deku meet me in the common room for video games and your fucking funeral

TheGreenCareBear: Finally

Newton’sAHoe: SO

Newton’sAHoe: How were your first day’s in our class Shinsou and Monoma-san!

TrueKakashi: It was actually really

TrueKakashi: Nice?

TrueKakashi: Like I think Present Mic Sensei adopted me

{TraumatizedPeppermint has logged on}

TraumatizedPeppermint: It seems the rare cryptid Papa Present Mic has been spotted

TraumatizedPeppermint: Please explain why

TheGreenCareBear: Todoroki, please

TheGreenCareBear: Can we pretend it’s Sunday again

TheGreenCareBear: And let the man rest

TraumatizedPeppermint: God is dead Midoriya and his rules don’t apply anymore

TraumatizedPeppermint: So. Talk. Monoma.

TrueKakashi: I think I fear you

DesignatedDecorater: You do

DesignatedDecorater: It’s the only way to survive

TrueKakashi: I believe it

TrueKakashi: ANY WAY The reason I think Present Mic adopted me is cause he asked me if I was doing okay with adjusting to Class 1-A

Newton’sAHoe: Aww how sweet!

TrueKakashi: And he said that if anyone from Class 1-B starts harassing me cause I got bumped up to tell him

TrueKakashi: And He’d make them disappear like it was their idea??

Newton’sAHoe: Okay not so sweet

TraumatizedPeppermint: New Memo for the Secret Love Child folder.

TraumatizedPeppermint: Papa is protective as shit, maybe because of our AccidentalFather's influence

TrueKakashi: You

TrueKakashi: You have a folder?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Monoma I have a cork board

TrueKakashi: I will now swiftly return to my safe place

Newton’sAHoe: You mean Aoyama’s room?

TrueKakashi: Yup, he just put up some holo wallpaper in there

TrueKakashi: Todoroki won’t come within a mile of it

TraumatizedPeppermint: It’s a crime against G O D

TrueKakashi: I thought God was dead Todoroki

TraumatizedPeppermint: He is And he’s dead because holo killed him, you whore

DIEnamite: Troll Doll

DIEnamite: Tell us about your first day before Aoyama comes back online and kills Todoroki for his hubris

TheHamburglerBut30: One second, I've gotta pause Shrek

TheGreenCareBear: You And Kaminari are watching Shrek

TheHamburglerBut30: Yes we are Midoriya you whore because It’s a cinematic masterpiece

90’sLavaLamp: Oh dear

90’sLavaLamp: He’s a meme

90’sLavaLamp: How tragic ( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)

DesignatedDecorater: Tragic indeed  ( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)

Newton’sAHoe: It seems Kaminari, Sero, And Mina now have a new accomplice

TheMid2000’s: So basically we’re fucked?

Newton’sAHoe: Basically, yes

DIEnamite: You little shits shut the hell up. We are finishing this train of thought before you start back on your bullshit

DIEnamite: Even If It Fucking Kills Me

CrocsAreValid: Bro it just might

DIEnamite: Then I’ll go down swinging

DIEnamite: How Was Your Fucking Day Troll Doll

TheHamburglerBut30: Pretty cool, Aizawa sensei put me next to Kami

Newton'sAHoe: Oooh so was that the highlight of your day Shinsou :)

TheHamburglerBut30: No

TheHamburglerBut30: Hearing him mumbling in English was 

Newton'sAHoe: !!!!! 

Newton'sAHoe: What was he saying Shinsou!

TheHamburglerBut30: I think he was mumbling the lyrics to If it Means a Lot to You by A Day To Remember?

ThePumpkinKing: I'm 

ThePumpkinKing: So proud??

Newton'sAHoe: How good is his English? I don't think I've ever heard him speak it in class

{LivingSoundSystem has logged on}

LivingSoundSystem: Kaminari can actually speak English quite fluently!

Newton'sAHoe:

LivingSoundSystem: I'm currently helping him learn Spanish as well!

TheHamburglerBut30: Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw

TheHamburglerBut30: Are you adopting all the blondes in Class-1A?

LivingSoundSystem: Nah

LivingSoundSystem: Shota has dibs on Bakugou!

{AccidentalFather has logged on}

AccidentalFather: You're damn right I do Hizashi

Newton'sAHoe: Holy Shit

AccidentalFather: Also I reserved us a table at that new okonomiyaki place you like

90'sLavaLamp: HOLY SHIT

LivingSoundSystem: You are the light of my life

AccidentalFather: Stop 

AccidentalFather:  I̸̥̠̜͎̬͇̗͈̺̹̳̦̭͋̈́̏̓̈́͋̉͝ ̸̺̫̲̏̈͌̈́̋̔̈́̿͗̿̚͘͝ͅả̷̳̥̣̫̽̋͂̆͂̎͝͝m̶̲̺̦͓̖͕̟̗̗͓̖̉̉̊̋́̎̿̔̿̅ ̸̡͇̮̠̾̈́́͑̽̏̆͌̽̔̀̕̕t̴̨̺̹̟̄̇̿͋̊̄͠h̸̨̘̘̟͍̪͖̖̟͉̫͒̾̈ͅe̸͚͇̮̺̰̖̎̄̃̏́͋͠͝ ̷̠͛̉̓͌̔̆̒̈́͂͋̕̕͝͝͝n̶̞̋̂̔̅̑͂į̷̡̣͕͖͕̣̖͐͒̎͛́͊̍̉̄̂̓̚̚͘͜ǧ̷̛͍̰̮̳̒̾̌̈́͑̍̃͐̓͂̉̀̚h̵̡̬͈͓̬͍̫̺̠͎̲̔͒̇̔̅̍̽̌̇͛̈̕̕t̸̼̒̎̀͌̐̇͋͘

LivingSoundSystem: A starry night <3

AccidentalFather:...

AccidentalFather: Hiazashi I have a reputation to uphold

DIEnamite: This is the gayest shit I've ever seen

DIEnamite: And I look in the mirror

PikaPretty: OOF

PikaPretty: Mood Bakugou

TraumatizedPeppermint: Aizawa sensei, please

TraumatizedPeppermint: Are you dating Present Mic sensei

AccidentalFather: You Will Never Know

{AllMightTM has logged on}

AllMightTM: They have been happily married for almost eight years now young Todoroki!

TraumatizedPeppermint: !!!!!

Newton'sAHoe: HOLY FLYING FUCK\DSKDJA; LC; LS

AccidentalFather: Yagi

AccidentalFather: I love you but you're a motherfucking Snitch

AllMightTM: \_(ツ)_/¯

{AllmightTM has logged off}

TraumatizedPeppermint: God lives

TraumatizedPeppermint: Blessed Be

{AccidentalFather and LivingSoundSystem have logged off}

DIEnamite: And now he is about to die again

TraumatizedPeppermint: For revealing the holy prophecy?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Worth It

Newton'sAHoe: Amen

 

Chapter Text

3:15 AM

PrivatePM

{TheHamburglerBut30 To PikaPretty}

TheHamburglerBut30: Have you ever thought about how we’re probably all the results of a government lackey watching too much anime?

PikaPretty: Shinsou

PikaPretty: What the fuck

TheHamburglerBut30: I mean no one really knows how mankind developed quirks right

ThHamburglerBut30: So theoretically couldn’t we be the result of government genetic modification

PikaPretty: No I get that

PikaPretty: But why are we calling this Lackey an anime fan?

TheHamburglerBut30: Hmm what are your thoughts then?

PikaPretty: I think it’s pretty obvious they were a huge X-Men fan

PikaPretty: I mean look how many people have super strength and elemental control

PikaPretty: Plus the Psy type quirks are like Magneto’s mutation

TheHamburglerBut30: That’s a valid theory Pika

TheHamburglerBut30: I’m impressed

PikaPretty: Why thank you!

PikaPretty: But don’t say theory or Todoroki will be summoned

TheHamburglerBut30: God you’re right

TheHamburglerBut30: One of these days I will construct such convincing T word about him that he will be forever shook

PikaPretty: T word?

TheHamburglerBut30: I’m trying to avoid a siting from our friendly neighborhood conspiracy nut okay?

PikaPretty: It's a valid reason, even if this is a PM

PikaPretty: Cause that boy is scary sometimes

TheHamburglerBut30: Hmmmmm That gives me an idea

PikaPretty: Say itttttttt

TheHamburglerBut30: What if that blue flame guy, Dabi is Endeavors secret love child?

TheHamburglerBut30: He’s Basically a very scary half Todoroki

PikaPretty:......

PikaPretty: Why...

PikaPretty: WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE SO MUCH SENSE

TheHamburglerBut30: I DONT KNOW I MEAN COMPARE THEIR EYES KAMI

PikaPretty: PLUS THE FLAMES

TheHamburglerBut30: AND THE ALL-CONSUMING HATRED OF ENDEAVOR

PikaPretty: Although admittedly Todoroki is handling that significantly better then Dabi

TheHamburglerBut30: Is he tho?

TheHamburglerBut30: I mean I think him and Bakugou and Monoma are planning his murder

PikaPretty: Well then he’s gonna have to get in line

PikaPretty: Cause I think his, probably half ,brother called dibs

PikaPretty: A long time ago

{TraumatizedPeppermint has been added}

TraumatizedPeppermint: No Dabi got to burn his face so now?

TraumatizedPeppermint: Now It’s My Turn

{TraumatizedPeppermint has been removed}

PikaPretty: Shinsou

TheHamburglerBut30: Yes

PikaPretty: Hold me

TheHamburglerBut30: My Doors Open Get THe Fuck In Here


 

6:00 AM

{DesignatedDecorater And 18 others have logged on}

DesignatedDecorater: Has anyone seen our Pikachu?

DesignatedDecorater: I haven’t seen him yet

TheGreenCareBear: That’s weird

TheGreenCareBear: He’s always in the Kitchen by six, he wakes up at 5:40 to do his morning routine then goes for breakfast at 6:00 and a jog occasionally on Wednesday’s

DesignatedDecorater: Jesus Christ Deku

KermitKin: While your analytic comment is slightly terrifying

KermitKin: It's true, he’s usually stealing Mina’s Lucky Charms at this time in the morning

90’sLavaLamp: My rainbow marshmallows are safe and that’s a bad sign

DIEnamite: Hey dipshits, you’re overreacting again

CrocsAreValid: But BakuBro! What if he’s missing?

DIEnamite: Jesus ShittyHair he’s fine

DIEnamite: And I’d put money on him fucking oversleeping because he was shitposting late last night

TrueKakashi: ^I’m putting my money down for that

JustDissapointed: Monoma-San! There is to be no gambling and or betting on school grounds

TheMid2000’s: Are we actually betting on this though?

TheMid2000’s: Cause if so I’m putting down that he short-circuited on accident and is walking into a wall as we speak

JustDissapointed:......

JustDissapointed: Jirou, I'm so upset

TheMid2000’s: Oh no

JustDissapointed: That even my username cannot convey how I feel

CrocsAreValid: Look what you’ve invoked Jirou

JustDissapointed: And my username has the word disappointed in it

TheMid2000’s: I feel

TheMid2000’ s: So much shame

JustDissapointed: Good

JustDissapointed: But In all seriousness, I shall go get Kaminari so he shall not be late to class!

CrocsAreValid: Iida’s the best dad out of our three fathers

ThePumpkinKing: I thought we had four? ( Allmight)

CrocsAreValid: Oh! Allmight is specifically BakuBro and Midoriya’s class father

TheMid2000’s: We can reserve fathers

TraumatizedPeppermint: Can I get a

replacement unit for my real one?

TraumatizedPeppermint: It’s been defective for 20 or so years

DIEnamite: Bitch you mean 43 years

TraumatizedPeppermint: That’s how long he’s been alive

DIEnamite: Exactly

TheGreenCareBear: Slay him Kacchan

TheMid2000’s: OOF

TraumatizedPeppermint: Katsuki

TraumatizedPeppermint: Marry Me

Newton’sAHoe: Good Sweet Tsuyu He Used His First Name

TheGreenCareBear: Well Todoroki my friend, it was lovely knowing you

TheGreenCareBear: But you’re gonna die now

ThePumpkinKing: Holy Shit Cinnamon Son Attacks

TrueKakashi: Okay Todoroki is probably a dead man walking

TheSun: Gasp! Heathers

TrueKakashi: But the question is, is it because Bakugou is going to kill him

TrueKakashi: Or because you are going to kill him Midoriya?

DesignatedDecorater: We all want to know

CrocsAreValid: Guys Midoriya would never-

TheGreenCareBear: Eh

TheGreenCareBear: It depends who gets to him first

CrocsAreValid: - Well never mind that then

TrueKakashi: Todoroki is once again gonna have to run for his life this week

TheMid2000’s: Rest Todoroki, You Sweet Prince

TheMid2000’s: For You’re Fucking Dead My Man

90’sLavaLamp: Sent PNG- Todoroki doesn’t need help dying-

90’sLavaLamp: I think Todoroki is dying on his own fam

TrueKakashi: Jesus Christ why is he burning brighter than my future

TheGreenCareBear: Ughh Mood Monoma Moment

TrueKakashi: I’m trademarking that

TrueKakashi: But really why is he on fire?

90’sLavaLamp: Because he’s a disaster gay

TrueKakashi: Mood But please Explain

90’sLavaLamp: Oh god I wish you weren’t in the common room when it happened cause it was amazing

CrocsAreValid: Very Gay 10/10

TheMid2000’s: The suspense is killing me, Mina,

90’sLavaLamp: Alright, alright. I’ll continue!

90’sLavaLamp: So when Todoroki sent his marriage proposal BakuBro’s face went red as fuck

90’sLavaLamp: Like Kirishima spilled his red hair dye on his face red

TheMid2000’s: Damn

90’sLavaLamp: Hell yeah Damn. Anyway, then Bakugou went really quite and put his phone down

TheGreenCareBear: O h S h I t

90’sLavaLamp: I also thought “Oh shit” cause a quiet Bakugou is a bad Bakugou

90’sLavaLamp: But then he slowly walked up to Todoroki

TheSun: Le fils de la mort frappe lentement, semble-t-il

90’sLavaLamp: I’ll google that later Aoyama!

90’sLavaLamp: Continuing with the story, Bakugou grabs him by the shirt and brings him down to his height

ThePumpkinKing: Very good tactic when attacking tall men

DesignatedDecorater: Do you know that from experience?

ThePumpkinKing: I’m short what do you think you wacky inflatable tube man

TheMid2000’s: Jesus Fucking Christ let her finish before we have to get to class

90’sLavaLamp: Thank you Jirou~

90’sLavaLamp: Finally Bakugou leans in and says

90’sLavaLamp: “Ask me again in ten years Shouto

90’sLavaLamp: And then Todoroki became an actual flaming homosexual

Newton’sAHoe: H

TheGreenCareBear: O

ThePumpkinKing: L

BillNye: Y

TrueKakashi: Mother fucking shit


 

11:30 AM

{JustDissapointed And 19 others have logged on}

 

JustDissapointed: Todoroki In the future please refrain from activating your quirk when you’re under the cupboard that houses my Cheerios

TraumatizedPeppermint: Iida I swear I didn’t mean to light your cereal on fire

TraumatizedPeppermint: I’m buying you ten boxes of Cheerios to repay you for my accidental massacre

JustDissapointed: There’s no need to do that, I’ve already forgiven you, my friend! Also would one not be sufficient enough though?

TraumatizedPeppermint: No I’m getting you ten boxes for being the best class dad

JustDissapointed: Well I suppose I can’t dissuade you, so I shall accept <3

Newton’sAHoe: So sweet

Newton’sAHoe: So pure

HaveUSeenMe: So true Ochako-Chan!

HaveUSeenMe: This exchange is pure

TheGreenCareBear: Why Do I Feel Uneasy??

DesignatedDecorater: I don’t know why but I feel it too

HaveUSeenMe: It's almost as pure as what I saw!

ThMid2000’s: Oh nooo

BillNye: I feel every sin I’ve ever committed creeping up on me at this very moment

HaveUSeenMe: In Shinsou’s room~

Newton’sAHoe: Oh god no

Newton’sAHoe: Rest In Peace Shinsou Cause Hagakure is about to expose you

CrocsAreValid: Shinsou is sitting at our table looking so peaceful and ignorant of all this slander

DesignatedDecorater: He’s balancing french fries on Mina's head while she’s napping

DesignatedDecorater: Babe what innocence are you talking about

CrocsAreValid: He’s done nothing wrong ever Sero don’t @ me

BillNye: Someone tell him his fate cause I can’t bear to see him ignorant of this chaos

TrueKakashi: K

BillNye: Thank you Monoma!

TrueKakashi: @TheHamburglerBut30 Hey bitch what the fuck did you do wrong?

BillNye: Ya know

BillNye: I think I’m gonna just take that thank you back now

{TheHamburglerBut30 has logged on}

TheHamburglerBut30: Monoma aside from making your acquaintance

TheHamburglerBut30: I have done nothing wrong

TrueKakashi:.........

TrueKakashi: @HaveUSeenMe

HaveUSeenMe: Yess~

TrueKakashi: Ya know that piping hot Carolina Sweet tea you acquired this morning?

HaveUSeenMe: Yup!

TrueKakashi: Spill It Sister

TheGreenCareBear: Oh Fuck

HaveUSeenMe: Sent PNG- Shinkami spooning at 6 AM-

TrueKakashi: Vengence

TrueKakashi: Thy name is fucking Hagakure

{DIEnamite has changed TrueKakashi's name to KillerCoppier}

DIEnamite: I knew there was a reason I liked you CopyCat

TheMid2000's: Kaminari is the little spoon and you're appreciating Monoma's dramatic ass? smh 

KakashiFusion: ShinKami happens relatively often Jirou calm down

KakashiFusion: This is better cause now I'm finally the only Kakashi in this group chat

KakashiFusion: Life is good 

TheSun: Non

{TheSun has changed KillerCoppier's name to CuteKakashi}

KakashiFusion: Well damn you didn't have to flex that fucking hard

PikaPretty: HAGAKURA 

PikaPretty: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT 

CrocsAreValid: Kami is currently blushing to his ears

PikaPretty: S H UT 

HaveUSeenMe: I took it this morning when Iida went to wake you up Kaminari~

TheMid2000's: Iida

TheMid2000's: You knew??

JustDissapointed: Well yes

JustDissapointed: But Kaminari and Shinsou explained that Kaminari had some trouble sleeping and sleeping alongside Shinsou had helped him

JustDissapointed: So I refrained from chastising them 

TheGreenCareBear: Oh!

TheGreenCareBear: That"s really sweet IIda <3

KermitKin: While I am loving the gay in this group chat today

KermitKin: Are you okay Kami, do you usually not sleep?

PikaPretty: Don't worry Tsuyu! I'm fine

PikaPretty: I just dreamt that I was being stalked by a fire demon last night

KermitKin: Ooh I understand why you didn't wanna be alone now

TheHamburglerBut30: The dream sounded slightly terrifying when he told me about it

TheHamburglerBut30: But I'm glad I had some company for the insomnia hours

PikaPretty: I need to get you some lavender incense or something to see if that'll help you Shin, you only slept like an hour and a half

TheHamburglerBut30: No, save your money for that new album you want

PikaPretty: But the lavender will help you sleep AND match your hair!

PikaPretty: Wait!

{PikaPretty has changed TheHamburglerBut30's name to LovelyLavender}

LovelyLavender: .....

LovelyLavender: God Damnit Kaminari is being adorable on your fucking resume

<3 \>,<\:  ( ∩ˇωˇ∩)♡

PikaPretty: !!

TheGreenCareBear: Kouda!

TraumatizedPeppermint: The sweetest cryptid of them all


12:00 AM

PrivatePM

{TraumatizedPeppermint to PikaPretty and LovelyLavender}

TraumatizedPeppermint: Wonderful cover gentlemen

TraumatizedPeppermint: I'm impressed

{TrauamtizedPeppermint has logged off}

PikaPretty: It's official

PikaPretty: I'm never leaving your fucking room ever again Shin

LovelyLavender: That's fine with me Kami

LovelyLavender: Just bring your blankets with you 

{LovelyLavender has logged off}

PikaPretty:...

PikaPretty: <3 <3 <3

 

Chapter Text

2:45 PM

{90’sLavaLamp and 17 others have logged on}

90’sLavaLamp: This Day

90’sLavaLamp: Nay

90’sLavaLamp: This week

90’sLavaLamp: Has been a whirlwind of emotions and exposure, does anyone else think so?

Newton’sAHoe: I do Mina!

Newton’sAHoe: I thought I was the only one feeling a bit wired after this busy week!

ThePumpkinKing: Today is Tuesday

ThePumpkinKing: We haven’t even made it a full week

90’sLavaLamp: Our week officially began when Dadzawa gave us this GC Tokoyami

90’sLavaLamp: And when he gave us our new children

CuteKakashi: You make it sound like he was a dying mother who left us in a basket at a orphanages doorstep

ThePumpkinKing: Monoma

ThePumpkinKing: Why the Fuck was that so specific

CuteKakashi:.....

CuteKakashi: Aoyama is making me watch Harry Potter with him and I’m channeling Voldemort

ThePumpkinKing: Ahh, proceed then

CuteKakashi: Thank you, good sir

CuteKakashi: Anyway, Mina’s right this week has been

CuteKakashi: A Lot

HaveUSeenMe: That's true! We got new babies, a group chat, Kiri And Sero got together, Todoroki proposed, Erasermic is canon, and we had a ShinKami sighting

KermitKin: You

KermitKin: You say this like you didn’t personally cause that last one

Newton’sAHoe: No No No No No

KermitKin: Muffin am I wrong?

Newton’sAHoe: No you’re absolutely right

Newton’sAHoe: But

Newton’sAHoe: Tsuyu the shades gotta Wait

KermitKin:... Why

CuteKakashi: Wait a minute

CuteKakashi: Ochako are you talking about the middle part of Hagakure’s list

Newton’sAHoe: YES

Newton’sAHoe: When did they get together spymaster?

{HaveUSeenMe has changed their name to SpyMaster}

SpyMaster: Last night~

KermitKin: I’m surprised they didn’t tell us at lunch

TheGreenCareBear: Since got together last night Tsuyu then they probably want to keep it hush until they’re comfortable telling us

CuteKakashi: Or

CuteKakashi: They just forgot to tell us

TheGreenCareBear: Okay Yes that’s an option too

ThePumpkinKing: Hagakure I’m not gonna ask how you figured this out cause I want to wait for Kiri and Sero to tell us

themselves

TheGreenCareBear: Same!

KermitKin: I would also like to wait for Kiri and Sero

Newton’sAHoe: Me too!

SpyMaster: Awwww, okie ):

90’sLavaLamp: I’m living for this patient group chat

PikaPretty: Same, now I have time to relax instead of drinking an enormous amount of Tea

TraumatizedPeppermint: Tell me when we resume tea time Kiri

TraumatizedPeppermint: Cause there are several loose ends that need to be tied up

PikaPretty:..... I don’t wanna know what loose ends you’re talking about

PikaPretty: But I kind of do though so put the tea bags in Todoroki

90’sLavaLamp: Oh for fuck's sake I ask for one day of peace

TraumatizedPeppermint: But

TraumatizedPeppermint: It’s Iced Tea

KermitKin: Is

KermitKin: Is that mild or extreme tea in gossip girl term

TraumatizedPeppermint: Extremely Mild

90’sLavaLamp:........

90’sLavaLamp: Alright tell us Theoryoki

Newton’sAHoe: I guess there really is no rest for the wicked

90’sLavaLamp: But Ochako after he does we will let out loose tea, and then after we’re done

90’sLavaLamp: We will take a rest from gossip till Kiri and Sero come back online

Newton’sAHoe: Oh thank god

Newton’sAHoe: Now I and Tsuyu can go on a date without worrying about missing anything important

KermitKin: <3

Newton’sAHoe: <3

90’sLavaLamp: Yes! You go gays!

90’sLavaLamp: Now Theoryoki proceed so these lovely ladies can go get Boba Tea together

TraumatizedPeppermint: Gladly

TraumatizedPeppermint: So why has no one asked EraserMic how they got together?

TraumatizedPeppermint: We found out that they’re married days ago

PikaPretty:......

Newton’sAHoe:.....

TheGreenCareBear:.......

CuteKakashi:........

ThePumpkinKing:...

TheMid2000’s:....

90’sLavaLamp: Huh

90’sLavaLamp: now that I think about it why haven’t we asked them

TheGreenCareBear: I think it’s cause we’ve been distracted by all the other relationships

KermitKin: That sounds about right Midoriya

TheMid2000’s: In simple terms our attention spans are shit

KermitKin: That is

KermitKins: Also accurate, please continue

TheMid2000’s: Thank you kindly

CuteKakashi: Are we going to ask EraserMic about this so we can move onto more tea or are we gonna wait till they renew their vows

TraumatizedPeppermint: Please don't make me wait that long Mina

90’sLavaLamp:.....

90’sLavaLamp: @AccidentalFather and @LivingSoundSystem

90’sLavaLamp: Dad’s your nosy children want to know the story of how you got together and why you hid it for so long

{LivingSoundSystem has logged on}

LivingSoundSystem: Hello my little ones!

CuteKakashi: Hey dad

PikaPretty: Heya pops

{DIEnamite has logged on}

DIEnamite: I swear to god Theoryoki if you don’t stop shaking me and pointing at your phone I WILL FUCK YOU UP

TraumatizedPeppermint: Try Me Bi-

{TraumatizedPeppermint has logged off}

DIEnamite: Perish

{DIEnamite has logged off}

Newton’sAHoe: What the fuck was that

PikaPretty: Did Todoroki die again

TheGreenCareBear: Probably

LivingSoundSystem: Can a responsible child please tell me what’s going on

LivingSoundSystem: I can’t tell mine and Shota’s epic love story until I know none of you are dead

ThePumpkinKing: Does dead inside count

BillNye: Todoroki is fine Sensei!

BillNye: Bakugo just pushed him out of their loveseat

LivingSoundSystem: Awww, that reminds me of when I and Shota went and picked out our first couch for our apartment

CuteKakashi: Did Aizawa Sensei push you off that couch?

LivingSoundSystem: Yup < 3

CuteKakashi: I would say that Bakugou And Todoroki are Next Gen EraserMic

CuteKakashi: But that spot is taken by Shinsou and Kaminari

PikaPretty: Aoyama has rubbed off on you Monoma

PikaPretty: You’ve become a fanboy

CuteKakashi: I want to send you to the void but you’d fucking like it there

LivingSoundSystem: Children, please!

LivingSoundSystem: Let me finish my story before you two fight like twelve-year-olds with home bedazzled pink Razr phones okay?

90’sLavaLamp: OOF

90’sLavaLamp: Rest In Pieces

TheGreenCareBear: Please continue Sensei

LivingSoundSystem: Alrighty then!

LivingSoundSystem: I shall be telling this lovely story without the aid of my husband kids so don’t @ him okay?

Newton’sAHoe: Can I ask why PresentMic Sensei?

LivingSoundSystem: He’s asleep on my lap and I don’t wanna wake him

PikaPretty: Awww!

LovelyLavender: He says this like an innocent bean

LovelyLavender: But he’s watching Seed of Chucky with me and cackling

PikaPretty: Pfft, Seed of Chucky is a comedy more than it is a horror movie and you know it

LivingSoundSystem: Right? Shota doesn’t believe me when I tell him that

PikaPretty: See, my father agrees with me

LovelyLavender: Whatever you say Draco Malfoy

ThePumpkinKing: Damn, the shade

TheSun: If he’s Draco then you’re Harry Shinsou

BillNye: I’m having flashbacks to my Fanfiction.net account...

LovelyLavender: Makes sense

LovelyLavender: He lived in a cupboard for 12 years

LovelyLavender: And I lived in the closet for 13

TheGreenCareBear: O O F

LivingSoundSystem: Mood son, mood

Newton’sAHoe: KAJSLAJALANAZ

PikaPretty: Can we finish the epic love story before I piss my pants laughing

LivingSoundSystem: Ah right! I almost forgot, man you children are distracting

ThePumpkinKing: Trust me

ThePumpkinKing: We know

LivingSoundSystem: Well as long as your aware

LivingSoundSystem: Me and Shota started dating after high school!

LivingSoundSystem: I actually loved him ever since our second year, but we were best friends ya know? So I was scared to ruin our friendship by asking him out

LivingSoundSystem: But as it turns out Shota felt the same way about me! He asked me out a week after graduation and we dated for four years before we got married!

Newton’sAHoe: This is so sweet, I’m crying

KermitKin: I am running to come to hold you

Newton’sAHoe: <3

Newton’sAHoe: Please continue Sensei! Who proposed first?

LivingSoundSystem: Well it’s actually really funny

LivingSoundSystem: Cause we both proposed at the same time!

TheSun: LE GASP

TheSun: HOW

LivingSoundSystem: Alright so we went to the animal shelter

LovelyLavender: Loving this

LivingSoundSystem: And I went straight to the cat section cause I had called beforehand and asked them to put a collar on a black cat that said: “ Will you marry us?”

GordonRamsey: If my husband doesn’t propose this way, then what I ask is the point??

LivingSoundSystem: So I got the cat ( We named him Zoro) and I brought him to the waiting room where I had left Shota

LivingSoundSystem: Only to see the love of my life holding a lovely bird( We named him Apollo) with a collar that said: “Can I canary you down the aisle?”

90’sLavaLamp: I am sobbing

TheGreenCareBear: I can’t believe Aizawa Sensei proposed to you  with a pun

LivingSoundSystem: Midoriya imagine how I felt

LivingSoundSystem: This was the same man who stopped me from buying the “1000 Dad Jokes”  book set

PikaPretty: Wait a second Dad, what happened after you saw the bird

LivingSoundSystem: Oh! Well I was in shock when Shota came over, looked at Zoro and said

LivingSoundSystem: “ Are you Kittying me, of course, I’ll marry you Hizashi ”

LivingSoundSystem: Then I started sobbing and kissed him right then and there

LivingSoundSystem: While still holding our cat

KermitKin: Very Wholesome 10/10

PikaPretty: I don’t know about the rest of you but

PikaPretty: My crops are watered, my depression is cured, Obama is the US president again, and life is great

LivingSoundSystem: I’m glad you all enjoyed mine and Shota’s epic love story <3

LivingSoundSystem: But I have to go now kids, Apollo escaped his cage

LivingSoundSystem: Again

{LivingSoundSystem has logged off}

90’sLavaLamp: That’s one adorable mystery solved!

Newton’sAHoe: And the man who wanted to solve it logged off before the explanation even began

CuteKakashi: I really don’t think Todoroki had a choice in the matter

Newton’sAHoe: You May have a point

90’sLavaLamp: Someone please get him back online tho

90’sLavaLamp: I need to know if he’s drunk all the tea he wanted so I can take a nap

The1TailedBeast: On it

{The1TailedBeast has changed TraumatizedPeppermint’s name to SadColgate}

{SadColgate has logged on}

SadColgate: Well Fuck

SadColgate: Which god did I piss off?

90’sLavaLamp: Me

SadColgate: Oh

SadColgate: I can survive then

{SadColgate has logged off}

KermitKin:.....

CuteKakashi:.....

GordonRamsey:......

SpyMaster:......

BillNye:.....

TheMid2000’s:....

The1TailedBeast:......

90’sLavaLamp:...

TheSun:.....

PikaPretty:......

LovelyLavender:......

TheGreenCareBear: Well

TheGreenCareBear: I knew Todoroki had no self-preservation

TheGreenCareBear: But Damn

Newton’sAHoe: You’ve broken almost every bone you own

Newton’sAHoe: You Don’t Get To Say Shit Deku

Newton’sAHoe: But I do so

Newton’sAHoe: Damn Todoroki

PikaPretty: I didn’t know we could buy bones

Newton’sAHoe: Of course you can

Newton’sAHoe: Why else would there be a boneless pizza option Kaminari Keep Up honey

CuteKakashi: Ochako’s throwing shade

CuteKakashi: And Mina I’m assuming you’re planning Todoroki’s torture?

90’sLavaLamp: Yup

90’sLavaLamp: It involves IKEA

CuteKakashi: I’m suitably terrified

CuteKakashi: So we are done with tea time till Sero and Kiri wake up? Last roll call children

PikaPretty: I think we’re good?

Newton’sAHoe: Thank god, Tsuyu meet me in the common room in twenty minutes!

KermitKin: Boba?

Newton’sAHoe: Boba!

KermitKin: <3

Newton’sAHoe: <3


 

9:20 PM

{PikaPretty And 5 others have logged on}

PikaPretty: Okay

PikaPretty: It’s been like 6 hours or so

PikaPretty: Can we please do something

SpyMaster: Oh thank god I thought I’d have to ask

CuteKakashi: You can’t even last an entire day?

CuteKakashi: Y’all have issues

PikaPretty: MonomaBroooooo

PikaPretty: It doesn’t have to be tea, just

PikaPretty: Something

CuteKakashi:.....

CuteKakashi: Shinsou fell asleep during your horror movie marathon didn’t he?

PikaPretty:...

PikaPretty: Alright he did but he doesn't sleep enough as it is so I'm not waking him up

ThePumpkinKing: I feel that Kami, almost everyone is asleep

ThePumpkinKing: But what are we gonna do, aside from gossipping

SpyMaster: You utter 

SpyMaster: F o o l s

SpyMaster: Sent TrueArt

SpyMaster: We still have art

CuteKakashi: Oh No

ThePumpkinKing: I hate that I actually like that song

PikaPretty: Ya know

PikaPretty: It kind of reminds me of The Backstreet Boys

CuteKakashi: I see it 

CuteKakashi: And I hate it 

ThePumpkinKing: Sent ActualCulture

CuteKakashi: Oh okay so this is a thing now huh

CuteKakashi: Well if I can't stop you

CuteKakashi: Ill beat you

CuteKakashi: Sent TryAndBeatMe

PikaPretty: I will never be bored

PikaPretty: Ever again my dudes

Chapter Text

6:15 AM

{ DIEnamite and 20 others have logged on}

DIEnamite: The one day I put my fucking phone down

DIEnamite: Is the same day that SHITTY HAIR AND TAPE DISPENSER DECIDE TO GET FUCKING HITCHED?

DIEnamite: I knew God hated me but damn she didn’t have to flex that fucking hard on me

SadColgate: That’s a mood

PikaPretty: I’m calling it karma for you destroying Kiri’s Thigh High Crocs

DIEnamite: It needed to be done

DIEnamite: And if God is punishing me for it?

DIEnamite: So Fucking Be It

TheGreenCareBear: You said the same thing when you smacked my first boyfriend Kacchan

DIEnamite: Like I said

DIEnamite: It needed to be done

90’sLavaLamp: Okay we need that story before we wake Kiri and Sero up

Newton’sAHoe: Is this a story where I need to throw hands with Bakugou?

DIEnamite: Watcha say Round Face

DIEnamite: You want another fucking rematch

TheGreenCareBear: No!! Ochako-Chan!

TheGreenCareBear: This story is actually really sweet!

90’sLavaLamp:........

90’sLavaLamp: And yet it involves BakuBro??

DIEnamite: I swear to fucking god is this Kill Katsuki Day or something

Newton’sAHoe: No!

Newton’sAHoe: That’s October 10th

DIEnamite: Alright you knife lesbian square the fuck up

PikaPretty: It seems the train of thought hasn’t just left the station

PikaPretty: Its derailed entirely because it ran over our bullshit

DIEnamite:...

DIEnamite: I’ll only shut the fuck up if she does

Newton’sAHoe:... Only until Deku finishes his story

PikaPretty: I’ll take it

PikaPretty: Midoriya, you have the stage

TheGreenCareBear: Thank you Kaminari!

TheGreenCareBear: So I got my first boyfriend at 13, and it was all very awkward and innocent at first

TheMid2000’s: The “at first” frightens me

TheGreenCareBear: But then he started to get really possessive like he’d stake out Kacchan’s house when he came over just to make sure he wouldn’t glance at me

DIEnamite: He brought binoculars every time he went To Deku’s house for the occasion

TheGreenCareBear: And Kacchan would flip him off every time he used them

TheGreenCareBear: Obviously that was shifty behavior, so I tried to break up with him

TheGreenCareBear: Emphasis on tried

Newton’sAHoe: Oh no

TheGreenCareBear: Yeah, I tried breaking up with him when he came to my door. But he started to put me down for not having my quirk yet. He said I’d “ be a quirkless bitch who nobody wants” and “ you won’t find anyone else but me who’ll love you ”

Newton’sAHoe:.....

Newton’sAHoe: What's his address

SadColgate: Probably Hell Ochako

TheGreenCareBear: You’re not wrong Todoroki

TheGreenCareBear: But you guys don’t have to worry

TheGreenCareBear: Cause Kacchan already took care of him!

ThePumpkinKing:...

ThePumpkinKing: How So

DIEnamite: Well BirdFace, I’d just went outside to take out my trash when I heard him say that shit to Deku

SadColgate: So you took out the trash twice that day

DIEnamite: Why Yes I did

DIEnamite: But as I was fucking saying

DIEnamite: When he started to yell I busted up in that bitch and grabbed him by his face

DIEnamite: Lifted him up to look him in the eyes

DIEnamite: And I said

DIEnamite: “ Shut your bitch ass mouth. God, I swear if I hadn’t already seen your bitch ass quirk I’d say it would be being a fucking cunt ass foot fucker. You and Deku are over with, and If you get near him or Auntie Inko’s house again I will blow your face up so you look as ugly as the shit stain that sired you

DIEnamite: Then I smacked the fuck out of him

90’sLavaLamp: Holy shit BakuBro

PikaPretty: I have tears in mine eyes

Newton’sAHoe: Personally

Newton’sAHoe: I have never in my life been more proud of you then I am right now

TheGreenCareBear: You should have seen me when he was finished Ochako-Chan

TheGreenCareBear: I was sobbing in front of my hydrangeas

TheGreenCareBear: I didn’t expect my ex-best friend, and at that time my worst enemy to come to save me

DIEnamite: I will say it till I’m dead, I was an out of line asshole back then

DIEnamite: But I wasn’t that much of an asshole to let anyone talk to you like that Izu-Chu

TheGreenCareBear:.......

TheGreenCareBear: Todoroki you best get out my way

SadColgate: Bitch why

TheGreenCareBear: Cause I'm gonna hug Kacchan for the first time in 30 years, so stop hogging him

PikaPretty: OOF

PikaPretty: Midoriya came for you real hard there Todoroki

90’sLavaLamp: His two-toned weave is on the floor

SadColgate: I will stop global warming with how much ice I will bury you under Mina

90’sLavaLamp: Good

90’sLavaLamp: Cause I'm too hot from being in my own presence

SpyMaster: Slay him, queen

PikaPretty: Sent PNG- Childhood Friends Reunited in a Tender Embrace-

Newton’sAHoe: I just heard Monoma mutter “really in front of my fucking salad” when he looked at that picture and I’m dying

KermitKin: Does anyone else think that Bakugou looks like a slightly alarmed, but not altogether upset, Pomeranian in that?

GordonRamsey: As someone who used to own a Pomeranian

GordonRamsey: I can say that he definitely does

DIEnamite: Every single one of you can fuck off

90’sLavaLamp: Since we’ve finished story time can we wake the happy couple up now?

JustDissapointed: What do you mean wake them up?

JustDissapointed: They got up at 5:30 and left for school.

90’sLavaLamp: Wait what

JustDissapointed: I had just gotten done with my morning jog when they went out the door

90’sLavaLamp: Why didn’t you stop them

JustDissapointed: I assumed they had to go to a tutoring session before class, as they were in their uniforms, so I refrained from stopping them

DIEnamite: Those motherfuckers have been avoiding us

PikaPretty: They can’t do it forever though ^_^

KermitKin: I fear for both their lives


 

11:30 AM

{CrocsAreValid And 19 others have logged on}

CrocsAreValid: Looks like you caught us!

DesignatedDecorater: Literally Bakugo please put us the fuck down

DIEnamite: Not Till You're Done

DesignatedDecorater: Well shit, I guess we gotta tell them, Kiri,

CrocsAreValid: Alright baby <3

DesignatedDecorater: AbalBnKbnNQKAJSLSBAMAMNB

DesignatedDecorater: BABE STOP I AM TURNING RED

CrocsAreValid: Good <3

90’sLavaLamp: So puré

Newton’sAHoe: AWWWWWWW

PikaPretty: Jesus Ochako I heard you from across the cafeteria

DIEnamite: Squealing aside

DIEnamite: Shitty Hair and Scotch Tape explain how y’all became canon

SadColgate: Canon? Did you write fanfiction as a pre-teen Bakugou?

BillNye: I feel attacked

DIEnamite: Shut the fuck up, you don’t want to know what I wrote Katy Perry

TheGreenCareBear: You really don’t want to Todoroki It’d make you cry

SadColgate: Brb

SadColgate: I’m going to go covet death

{SadColgate has logged off}

TheGreenCareBear: He's going to find your Endeavor/AllMight fanfiction and shit his pants

DIEnamite: I know :)

90’sLavaLamp: RIP TODOROKI

ThePumpkinKing: Nah

ThePumpkinKing: He froze my GreenDay cd

ThePumpkinKing: Let him perish

CuteKakashi: So petty, May come to next emo meeting just for that

DIEnamite: Alright now that you’ve stolen another one of my minions

BillNye: Are you in a gang?

PikaPretty: Yeah But DONT tell Iida

JustDissapointed: I been knew

JustDissapointed: Bakugou proceed

DIEnamite: Thank Fuck

DIEnamite: @DesignatedDecorater And @CrocsAreValid What’s the truth?

DIEnamite: Cause I know that both of you were still pining pieces of shit the last time you texted me about each other

DIEnamite: And that was two days ago

PikaPretty: Same

90’sLavaLamp: Mood

CrocsAreValid: Well, last night I went down to the kitchen after I got a text from Sero to get Oreos and come to his room

PikaPretty: Sero bro you made the first mood?

90’sLavaLamp: I myself am sister shook

DesignatedDecorater: Nope

PikaPretty: Qué?

DesignatedDecorater: I didn’t ask him to come to my room, but someone had texted him with my phone to get him to

CrocsAreValid: I figured that out when I was pushed into the cleaning closet two doors down from Sero’s room

CrocsAreValid: And found him sprawled out on a bed of sponges

TheMid2000’s: Are you sure he wasn’t trying to seduce you, Kiri?

DesignatedDecorater: I’d been there an hour Jirou

DesignatedDecorater: I had to adapt to survive

PikaPretty: Oof

DesignatedDecorater: But as we were saying after Kiri got pushed into the closet the person who started all this locked him in

DesignatedDecorater: And slid a note under the door that said: “Get your shit together and talk to each other”

DIEnamite: Chaotic Good

DIEnamite: I like them

CrocsAreValid: I knew you would bro

CrocsAreValid: Cause you said the same thing when you claimed him for the BakuSquad :)

PikaPretty: Wait

PikaPretty: A

PikaPretty: DAMN

PikaPretty: MINUTE

PikaPretty: MONOMA?!

CuteKakashi: Guilty as charged in both the courts of common law

CuteKakashi: And the court of public opinion ;)

Newton’sAHoe: ALAÑALKASLLALALALALALAPAPAPÑSMSNSSNKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSLSLS

Newton’sAHoe: SWEET HOLY FUCK

90’sLavaLamp: How the fuck did you go all “Done with your shit” on them

Newton’sAHoe: And then acted like you knew nothing about it with us 

CuteKakashi: I’m a man

CuteKakashi: Of many talents

DIEnamite: Thanks to you I don’t have to hear pining at 2:39 AM

DIEnamite: For that

DIEnamite: I'm naming a fucking Hamster after you

CuteKakashi: I am

CuteKakashi: So honored

CrocsAreValid: But I'm gonna let the new IT couple explain the rest of the story before I combust out of pure self-love

TheGreenCareBear: Don't know what that’s like but go off I guess

CrocsAreValid: That’s a mood

CrocsAreValid: But yeah so for an hour we tried to unlock the door, but then we got tired and started watching YouTube cause we procrastinate even our feeling

DesignatedDecorater: It's true, we were at the three-hour mark before I asked him “ Can I take you out Kiri” and you know what he said?

Newton’sAHoe: What’d he say

CrocsAreValid: “Hell yeah man I’d love to get out of this closet”

PikaPretty: GodDamn Kiri

DesignatedDecorater: You should have seen my face when he said that, it went as blank as my resume

CrocsAreValid: But then he sighed and pulled me into a kiss by the collar of my shirt <3

Newton’sAHoe: YES

Newton’sAHoe: HELL YES YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS KIRI?!

CrocsAreValid: DOUBLE DATE WITH OUR BEAUTIFUL BABES?

Newton’sAHoe: FUCK YES DOUBLE DATE WITH OUR BEAUTIFUL BABES

DesignatedDecorater: My face

DesignatedDecorater: It burns

KermitKin: The blush never fades Sero

KermitKin: Get used to it

DesignatedDecorater:...... Well I have Kiri so

DesignatedDecorater: It's worth it <3

CrocsAreValid: ANDNZMnznamlakAkajjAKKA

CrocsAreValid: Baby I'm coming to kiss your face off

PikaPretty: God I want a love like that

90’sLavaLamp: Same

DIEnamite: Question for the mother’s and fuckers of this group chat

TheMid2000’s: Tag yourself I’m the fucker

DIEnamite: Since Shitty Hair and Scotch Tape are both in the BakuSquad

DIEnamite: WHO the Fuck do we give the shovel talk to?

PikaPretty:... Oh shit

PikaPretty: He's got a point

90’sLavaLamp:..... I guess

90’sLavaLamp: Both of them?

LovelyLavender: That sounds good

CuteKakashi: I’m fine with that

DIEnamite: It's been voted on

DIEnamite: So if either of you hurt each other

DIEnamite: I WILL Break your respective faces

DIEnamite: And if need be I’ll break both your faces at the same time

DIEnamite: Capiche?

CrocsAreValid: Yes bro!

DesignatedDecorater: Yes captain!

TheMid2000’s: Holy shit they really are in a gang

Newton’sAHoe: It's like they're in The Godfather

CrocsAreValid: The GodFather Bakugo?

DesignatedDecorater: Sorry we only know The Good Father Bakugou

DIEnamite:.....Shut the fuck up you beautiful bastards


 

12:55

Prívate PM

{SadColgate to DIEnamite}

SadColgate: How do I send your fanfic to my father?

DIEnamite: ........

DIEnamite: You’re trying to give him a heart attack aren’t you?

SadColgate: Very much so, Yes

DIEnamite:.....

DIEnamite: Alright, which one are you sending?

SadColgate:........

SadColgate:... There’s more than one?

DIEnamite: There’s seven

SadColgate:.......

SadColgate: Send

SadColgate: T hem

SadColgate: All

DIEnamite: The deed shall be done

Chapter Text

4:30 AM

{PikaPretty and 7 others have logged on}

PikaPretty: Okay so hypothetically could MonomaBro touch Pro Hero Hawks and get red wings?

PikaPretty: Cause if he could he’d look like Icarus

LovelyLavender: The Sun Fucker?

PikaPretty: Yup!

LovelyLavender: Very appropriate Kami

PikaPretty:: Why thank you~

PikaPretty: @TheGreenCareBear Your Thoughts?

TheGreenCareBear: Hypothetically I believe he could, but this all relies on his ability to copy physical modification quirks.

TheGreenCareBear: Can he, for example, copy Tokoyami’s quirk and get a dark shadow of his own? Or would he take Tokoyami’s Dark shadow and copy his face?

TheGreenCareBear: So, in conclusion, its a very complicated question that requires more research

PikaPretty: Or an experiment?

TheGreenCareBear: Yes an experiment would be wonderful!

TheMid2000’s: Why

TheMid2000’s: After abandoning this group chat for a whole ass month

TheMid2000’s: Do y’all decide to revive it at 4:30 AM on a FUCKING SATURDAY

LovelyLavender: Cause sleep is for the weak

PikaPretty: You say that

PikaPretty: Yet you pass out on me every time we have a movie night

LovelyLavender: It's your presence

LovelyLavender: It's too calming for me

TheMid2000’s: How

TheMid2000’s: He never shuts up

LovelyLavender: He’s like a favorite song on repeat

LovelyLavender: I don’t mind it

TheGreenCareBear: That’s smooth as shit Shinsou what the fuck

PikaPretty: I’m crying in this Chili's tonight

TheMid2000’s: Before you swoon like a maiden on a quest Kaminari

TheMid2000’s: Please answer my question

PikaPretty: Well, you see my therapist said if I can’t sleep I should try and write out what’s keeping me awake

TheMid2000’s: And Monoma is what’s keeping you up?

TheMid2000’s: Damn, Ayoama is gonna have to assassinate you

PikaPretty: Shut the fuck up headphones that only work on one side

TheMid2000’s: How

TheMis2000’s: Dare you

PikaPretty: Vengeance, it called me

PikaPretty: But really I just wake up some times and think things like

PikaPretty: “If Todoroki grew a beard would half of it be on fire and the other half be frozen”

PikaPretty: I can’t control it

TheGreenCareBear: I feel that in the very depths of my soul

TheGreenCareBear: Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat thinking

TheGreenCareBear: “ If Aizawa-Sensei deactivated Tokoyami’s quirk would he lose his face?”

PikaPretty: Also

PikaPretty: “ Did Tsuyu’s mom give birth to her or did Tsuyu come from an egg?”

TheGreenCareBear: Oh my god yes

LovelyLavender: If you two made a podcast you’d cure my insomnia

LovelyLavender: And my depression

PikaPretty: Then I guess we’re making a podcast, you in Midoriya?

TheGreenCareBear: Yes I am when do we start

PikaPretty: Today at 10 AM

TheMid2000’s: Why so fucking early

PikaPretty: Cause the Emo Meeting is tonight and I don’t wanna miss it

LovelyLavender: Plus the BakuSquad game night is at midnight so he’s got a busy night

PikaPretty: Yup!

PikaPretty: I’m gonna try and get more sleep before then though, so goodnight guys!

LovelyLavender: Night Kami

{PikaPretty has logged off}

TheMid2000’s: Goodnight Its 4 am

LovelyLavender: Goodnight isn’t a phrase that is measured by the time of day

LovelyLavender: It's a phrase that’s measured

LovelyLavender: By your soul

TheMid2000’s:......

TheMid2000’s: Go to sleep Shinsou


 

9:20 AM

{DIEnamite and 16 others have logged on}

DIEnamite: Are you, idiots

DIEnamite: Just incapable of a normal sleeping schedule

DIEnamite: Or do you simply covet the cold embrace of the final sleep?

DIEnamite: Cause I can make that happen

SadColgate: The fact that you use the word covet on a semi-regular basis makes me want to take you to an Emo Meeting Bakugou

DesignatedDecorater: Don’t you dare take another one of my children away to the darkness Todoroki

BillNye: Your children?

BillNye: What is this family dynamic?

DesignatedDecorater: It's confusing but we all love and support each other so we don’t question it

SadColgate: If you're so supportive then let him go to an Emo Meeting

DesignatedDecorater: No

DesignatedDecorater: He’s not Emo so it doesn’t count

DIEnamite: If Y'all are done acting like bickering kingdoms wanting my hand in marriage

DIEnamite: I’d like to check on my sleep deprived idiots

CuteKakashi: I don’t think it’s acting for Todoroki

TheSun: Très vrai mon étoile

CuteKakashi: I swear to god I will become fluent in French for the sole purpose of understanding what you are saying

SpyMaster: Should we tell him?

90’sLavaLamp: Don’t you dare

DIEnamite: @LovelyLavender , @PikaPretty , @TheGreenCareBear , and @TheMid2000’s

DIEnamite: Are you idiots alive?

TheMid2000’s: Don’t you dare wake me up

{TheMid2000’s has logged off}

{LovelyLavender has logged on}

LovelyLavender: I'm more than just alive Bakugou

LovelyLavender: I’m prospering

CrocsAreValid: Did Kami finally take you to that cat cafe you wanted to go to?

DesignatedDecorater: Did Aizawa Sensei officially adopt you?

90’sLavaLamp: Did your order of caffeinated tea come in?

CuteKakashi: Did you finally kick the asses of the general studies students who used to pick on you?

DIEnamite: Did you finally get some fucking sleep

Newton’sAHoe: Jesús Christ did you guys coordinate that

DIEnamite: No

DesignatedDecorater: We’re

90’sLavaLamp: Just

CrocsAreValid: That

CuteKakashi: Good

KakashiFusion: And today is the day we learned the fear of God

DIEnamite: Back to the fucking topic

DIEnamite: How are you prospering Troll Doll?

LovelyLavender: Kami and Midoriya are actually recording the first episode of their podcast at this very moment

LovelyLavender: And it’s the most soothing thing I’ve ever heard in my life

DIEnamite: What the fuck do those two do on a podcast?

LovelyLavender: They discuss quirk theories, their favorite things, and childhood stories

LovelyLavender: Speaking of which Bakugou can you make me a candle? Midoriya mentioned you making some when you were both ten

CrocsAreValid: Bro

CrocsAreValid: You can make candles??!

DIEnamite: Damnit Deku now I’m never gonna live this down

DIEnamite: Yes I can make the best fucking candles you will ever smell

DIEnamite: But I will not make you or anyone else one

CrocsAreValid:Bro

DIEnamite: No

SadColgate: Bakugou I will buy all the necessary ingredients/ equipment for it if you do

DIEnamite: No

DesignatedDecorater: Ah Damn

SadColgate: I’ll also buy you a new AllMight blanket

CuteKakashi: Will

CuteKakashi: Will that work?

DIEnamite:......With your bastard fathers credit card?

90’sLavaLamp: Apparently it will Holy Shit

SadColgate: Always

DIEnamite:....Throw In some Spicy Udon and I’ll do it

SadColgate: Brb I’m going to go order all the stuff on Amazon

SadColgate: And I will take you out for spicy udon tomorrow Bakugou

{SadColgate has logged off}

DIEnamite: Todoroki you fucking little shit

DIEnamite: YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO BUY

DIEnamite: I’ll be back, I’m gonna stop him from ordering shit we don’t fucking need

{DIEnamite has logged off}

Newton’sAHoe: Please Cthuhlu 

Newton’sAHoe: Someone has to follow them when they go out for Udon tomorrow

CuteKakashi: Why?

Newton’sAHoe: Cause I want to see how they interact when we’re not around

SpyMaster: I’m on it like a fly on the wall

90’sLavaLamp: Send pictures when you start snooping tomorrow??

SpyMaster: Of course~

ThePumpkinKing: You do know they can see this right?

KermitKin:  What he meant to say was

KermitKin: If you let them see this they will kill you without mercy

SpyMaster: Don't worry!

SpyMaster: I'll just text Hatsume in a minute and ask her to delete our plan from the GC <3

Newton’sAHoe: Bless you, Goddess,

BillNye:......Guys, I don’t mean to break up the mood but

BillNye: Isn’t spying on their date too much of an invasion of their privacy?

KermitKin: Ah But Momo

KermitKin: They didn’t call it a date, and they’re not dating

KermitKin: So it’s fair game

BillNye: ......I suppose

BillNye: You're right

SpyMaster: Hell to the yeah

BillNye: But! You shouldn’t stay the entire time and don’t let them hear/ notice you; it’d ruin their outing Hagakure

SpyMaster: Aye Aye Captain!

BillNye: Good!

BillNye: Also, what is the name of Midoriya and Kaminari’s podcast? You've piqued my interest 

LovelyLavender: It's called Hero Theory Hour

Newton’sAHoe: Oh my god that’s so cute

Newton’sAHoe: Is it online yet, please say it is?

LovelyLavender: It is officially up ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary besties

TheSun: Thomas Sanders?

LovelyLavender: Yup

TheSun: Absolutely Lovely <3


 

5:30 PM

When Did We Become Parents GC

{AccidentalFather and 6 others have logged on}

AccidentalFather: @SuperStripper

AccidentalFather: Why can I hear my kid's voices coming from your headphones

GoodGrandma: Aren’t all of you supposed to be doing lesson plans?

AccidentalFather: Yes, we are

AccidentalFather: As I was saying Nemuri why do I hear Kaminari and Midoriya’s voices?

HardKnockLife: The way he avoided that question tho

GoodGrandma: Shouldn’t you be working on lesson plans too?

HardKnockLife: @SuperStripper Answer the man's question, please

{SuperStripper has logged on}

SuperStripper: Shota your kids

AccidentalFather: What about my kids

SuperStripper: I love them and I’m stealing them

AccidentalFather:..........

AccidentalFather: No

SuperStripper: Please Shota Just let me adopt ONE

AccidentalFather: Never, But also why?

SuperStripper: Midoriya and Kaminari have made a podcast about heroes and quirks!

SuperStripper: They even had your purple son as their first guest star

AccidentalFather:......GodDamnit

AccidentalFather: What’s the Podcast’s name

SuperStripper: Hero Theory Hour~

SuperStripper: Ya know your husband is listening to it too right?

AccidentalFather: No I didn’t know, no wonder he looks like he’s ready to squeal

AccidentalFather: Jesus Hizashi is going to buy them professional equipment

HardKnockLife: How do you know that?

AccidentalFather: I can feel it in my bones

{LivingSoundSystem has logged on}

LivingSoundSystem: SHOTA HAVE YOU HEARD

AccidentalFather: What did I tell you?

LivingSoundSystem: OUR SONS HAVE MADE A PODCAST

LivingSoundSystem: AND I AM SO PROUD OF THEM

LivingSoundSystem: CAN WE BUY THEM A NEW MIC SET??!

AccidentalFather: We will if you turn off the caps button Hizashi

LivingSoundSystem: Okie <3

HardKnockLife: So fast

SuperStripper: I need me a love like that

SuperStripper: And like 23 kids

SuperStripper: But I guess I’ll have to settle for Auntie Minnie cause Shota won’t share

LivingSoundSystem: Honey, just become a homeroom teacher

LivingSoundSystem: Then you can adopt the Junior high kids who are applying next year

SuperStripper: Be right back I have to go talk to Nedzu about becoming an official mother

{SuperStripper has logged off}

AccidentalFather: I pray for her children

LivingSoundSystem: Awww Shota, don’t say that.

LivingSoundSystem: We’ll teach her how to be a parent!

HardKnockLife: I pray for her children

LivingSoundSystem: GASP

LivingSoundSystem: B e t r a y l

LivingSoundSystem: Oh! I almost forgot

LivingSoundSystem: Shota, I think you need to call Endeavor  

AccidentalFather: Why would I ever need to do that Hizashi

LivingSoundSystem: Well Yagi texted me and said he had a minor stroke

LivingSoundSystem: So should we call him and ask him if he wants Todorki to come to visit him in the hospital?

LivingSoundSystem: Shota?

LivingSoundSystem: Honey?


5:35 PM 

Private PM

{AccidentalFather to SadColgate}

AccidentalFather: What did you do 

SadColgate: My best

AccidentalFather: Is your best Illegal?

SadColgate:.................................................................................................................................

SadColgate: Technically

SadColgate: No

AccidentalFather: Good

AccidentalFather: Don't Do It Again

AccidentalFather: (Without my permission)

SadColgate: I-I Thank you?

SadColgate: Is this what loving a father is like

SadColgate: God I've been missing out these past 16 years

AccidentalFather: ...................

AccidentalFather: On second thought

AccidentalFather: Make him suffer

 

 

 

Chapter Text

6:10 PM

Private PM

{SadColgate to DIEnamite}

SadColgate: Can I propose to you again?

DIEnamite: It has not been ten years IcyHot

DIEnamite: And why the fuck are you asking again?

SadColgate: Aside from generally wanting your presence every day?

DIEnamite: Nah, try again

DIEnamite: Nobody wants that shit

SadColgate: Ex-Fucking-Cuse me? You are a delight

DIEnamite: There's a shit ton of lies and slander today isn't there IcyHot

SadColgate: ........

SadColgate: That's it, I'm coming over

SadColgate: And I'm pulling up American Home Videos of children falling over for us to watch on my phone

DIEnamite: Bitch no, you have that shitty ass Emo Meeting tonight

SadColgate: I'll just skip this one, I have enough  rage to make up for it

DIEnamite: Bird-Lord will have your soul

SadColgate: He can't take what I don't have Bakugou

DIEnamite:.......Bring me some wasabi Kit Kat's?

SadColgate: On it KingKatsu


 

6:15 PM

{DIEnamite and 18 others have logged on}

{DIEnamite has changed their name to KingKatsu}

CrocsAreValid: Bro! That looks so cool

PikaPretty: And eerily accurate

KingKatsu: Shut the fuck up Pikachu

KingKatsu: Shouldn't you be applying eyeliner right now?

PikaPretty: Not yet, the meetings on hold for a few minutes

DesignatedDecorater: Why?? Tokoyami is usually pretty time conscious

PikaPretty: Cause Tokoyami is calling Hawks right now to ask him to come to visit the campus for our HTH experiment!

TheGreenCareBear: And all it took was my attendance at the meeting today!

90'sLavaLamp: You're what at the what

CrocsAreValid: NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BillNye: Oh dear it seems they've taken Midoriya as well

DesignatedDecorater: Tokoyami you monster

DesignatedDecorater: TAKE ME INSTEAD

DesignatedDecorater: I BEG OF YOU, JUST DONT TAKE THE CHILD

TheGreenCareBear: -_- Seriously guys?

TheGreenCareBear: I'm not a baby!

Newton'sAHoe: Yes you are

Newton'sAHoe: Your mine and Tsuyu's baby

90'sLavaLamp: We love our lesbian moms

KermitKin: Son

KermitKin: I'm very disappointed in you

theGreenCareBear: I've never felt the need to go wash dishes in redemption more then I do now

Newton'sAHoe: Good

TheGreenCareBear: But I really want to know if Monoma can copy Hawk's wings so I'm going to ignore it!

90'sLavaLamp: Oh Shit

SpyMaster: And so the teen rebellion begins

LovelyLavender: That

LovelyLavender: Or he and Todoroki just switched places

SpyMaster: Shinsou I love that theory

SpyMaster: But how did you come to that conclusion???

LovelyLavender: He Can Actually Smile Holy Shit

LovelyLavender: This

LovelyLavender: This is my scientific evidence that shows that Todoroki and Midoriya have switched personalities

SpyMaster: HOLY WHAT

Newton’sAHoe: MY EYESMSLANDLABQNKQMQLQLAMSNKSL

CrocsAreValid: I'm crying?

CrocsAreValid: Tears of pure happiness are cascading down my face

CrocsAreValid: Baby hold me?

DesignatedDecorater: I’ve got you, baby,

DesignatedDecorater: We’ll cry together

KakashiFusion: I'm glad Tokoyami isn’t online right now

KermitKin: Why??

KakashiFusion: There’s too much cuteness in this chat, he’d turn into literal ashes before our eyes

KermitKin:...

KermitKin: Actually ya know what that sounds accurate

BillNye: My Son is SMILING

TheGreenCareBear: Oh shit Mama Momo

BillNye: God is real

BillNye: AND SHE IS GOOD

LovelyLavender: Yeah, it’s pretty rare so I thought I’d send it to you guys

BillNye: Thank you, so much

TheMid2000’s: Wait for it Shinsou

LovelyLavender: ???

PikaPretty: Awwwww! Todoroki looks so soft when he smiles <3

Newton’sAHoe: I know right?!!

LovelyLavender:.......

TheMid2000’s: Did you forget that Todoroki is our trademark pretty boy Shinsou?

LovelyLavender: ......I may have

TheMid2000’s: And did you forget that pretty boys are Kami’s weakness

LovelyLavender: Ą̵̛̥͇̻͍̝͕̻̜̭̜̲͕̲̩̓͆̊̎̊͒͒͘͝l̴̛̼̹̩̭͉͚̝̳͉̰͍̻̩͂͑̿̏̂ͅr̵̨̹̬̪͇̣̺̮̱̘̆͒̿̋̐̌̈́̎̈́̚͘͝i̴̳̺̳̪̜͉̍͂̋́̐̿͂̅̈́̕̕g̷̗͌͝͠h̶̢͈̪͍̤̘̻̟̯̘̪̼̀͋͋̕ț̵͖͎̜͉͇̘̩̦̖̰͔̜̏͐̄̈́̈̍̒͒̈͛̽̚̕ ̸̛̛̻̝͖͍̯͔̯̈́̆͒̆̃̊͒͠͠͝J̵͇̣̗̬͍̞͉͙̗̜̹̰̓̍̃́̃̑̕͜͜͠ï̶͚̬͚͔̥͓̪͖͎̬̲̗̈́͊̔̏̃̆͠r̵̡̛̹͈̱͚͉͓̟͕̞͊̾̏̑̒̑̆̈́̅͝͝ͅö̶̧̩̮̥̬̯̻̞̻͆̑̌̈́̎̅̏̂̚͝u̶̲̮͚̤͚͊̑͋̄̉̃̽͌̑͑͝ ̸͙̗̃̿͋͗̂̓̕͘̚m̴̨̡̪͎̯̱͇̳̰̬̔̽͊̒̆̓̋͌̉̓͌͒͝͝ȩ̶̯̹̺̠͍̮͠e̶̛̹̻̭̍̇͂͗̆͋̉͌̚̚͝t̴̤̼̬͚͙͉̦͑̍̊͐̀̈͊̎̚͝͠ ̸̛̱̜͇͗̋͂̈̏̔̽̊̆m̸̖͌̎͒͛̓̊̃̒ë̷̡̳̦̬͔̬̤͚́͊͝ͅ ̶̦̌̏̈̿̄̋͛̚͘͠ï̵̢̗̳̩̻̝͍͎̬̝͉̱͇̉̃͊̓̈̈͠ͅṉ̵̢̗̰̯͋̃̾͋́̄̈̍̈́͘ ̸͕͔͎͂̋̇̃͂͑͒̄̔̓͆t̶̨͚̼̰̩̦̪̻̱͛͒͂̈́̓͘ȟ̷̡̡͕̫͙̦̝̘̺̭͔̜͊̒̈́̕e̴̡̡̡̢̘̮͎̻͉̲̭̞̲̠ ̵̧̠̟͂̓̋̏͂͛̄̀f̸͍̬͙͓̹̹͙̱͉͛̐̄̋u̶͙̜̩̳̺̺͉̪̩̓̑͋̑͐̏̽̆͋͜͝c̴̛̮͉̗̪͍̳͚̝͓̣̝̰͗ķ̶͇̩̖̣̝̖̩̝̺̾i̸̙̻͆̽͗̈̌̽̚ṉ̵̡̝̜̞̠̜̖̘̆͜ ̴̜̯̰̙͚͈͍̿͐̔̉̀̂̿̈́͜͝͠ͅp̷̛̛͓̫͔͍̟̤̠͚͕͎̣̐̆̑̊̋̄̆͂̚̕͝i̸̧̢̠̠̩̰̹͖̹̤̺̋͛͛͋̿͗̈́͐̇̏̏́̐̕̕t̸̳̦̝̃̄̃̃̌̾̈́͗͗̽̌͝

PikaPretty: Huh?

CrocsAreValid: Its nothing honey!

CrocsAreValid: Jirou stop meddling so hard like fuck

PikaPretty: ? ? ? ? !

{ThePumpkinKing has logged on}

ThePumpkinKing: Come to me my anointed ones 

ThePumpkinKing: It                 Is                 Time 

DesignatedDecorater: So dark

DesignatedDecorater: So dramatic

DesignatedDecorater: Are you the phantom of the opera my friend?

{ThePumpkinKing has changed their name to ThePhantom}

ThePhantom: Why Yes

ThePhantom: Yes I am

DesignatedDecorater: Understandable have a nice day

ThePhantom: Alright @PikaPretty, @TheGreenCareBear, @KakashiFusion, @TheMid2000 ’s, @SadColgate, and @LovelyLavender what’s your statuses?

PikaPretty: Putting on my eyeliner!

TheMid2000’s: Grabbing my CD’s

KakashiFusion: Getting Cheetos

LovelyLavender: Stealing one of Kami’s Corpse Bride shirts

PikaPretty: Is it the one that matches the shirt I’m wearing?

LovelyLavender: Yup

PikaPretty: Then we're gonna match nail polish too, so come over to the table so I can apply it

ThePhantom: Beautiful, I love it

ThePhantom: What about the rest of you?

TheGreenCareBear: I’m on my way to your room Tokoyami! I’m bringing my comforter, but it’s yellow so is it okay?

ThePhantom: Of course you superb cinnamon roll, yellow can be Emo too

TheGreenCareBear: ^u^

Newton’sAHoe: Unexpected purity is unexpected

ThePhantom: @SadColgate what’s your status?

{SadColgate has logged on}

SadColgate: Currently watching children fall over with Bakugou

ThePhantom:...... Does this mean you will not be attending today?

SadColgate: Yes, please forgive me

ThePhantom:...... Say Ten Hail Evanescence’s and attend next time my son

SadColgate: Thank you for your mercy Father

90’sLavaLamp:.........

90’sLavaLamp: @JustDissapointed shouldn’t you be

90’sLavaLamp: C O N C E R N E D????

JustDissapointed: I am

JustDissapointed: However

JustDissapointed:....... I don’t know if Tokoyami having his own religion goes against school guidelines so I’m going to be politically correct and not interfere

90’sLavaLamp:......

90’sLavaLamp: They scare the fuck out of you don’t they?

JustDissapointed: Very much so Mina


 

7:00 PM

{KingKatsu and 17 others have logged on}

KingKatsu: Hows the meeting you angsty fucks?

CrocsAreValid: AKA “ Are you making my friends uncomfortable Tokoyami, if so prepare to die”

KingKatsu: Shut your fuck ShittyHair

PikaPretty: I feel so loved

PikaPretty: Don’t you feel loved Shin?

LovelyLavender: I feel positively enveloped in affection

LovelyLavender: What about you Midoriya?

TheGreenCareBear: I’m crying as we speak from all this fondness

KingKatsu: Shut all your fucks

Newton’sAHoe: Bakugou’s emotional constipation aside

Newton’sAHoe: How IS it going?

TheGreenCareBear: Really nice! We’re watching Edward Scissors Hands and cuddling while Tokoyami watches over us from his perch

Newton’sAHoe: Perch??

ThePhantom: My computer chair

KermitKin: Why aren't you in the cuddle pile Tokoyami?

ThePhantom: I find watching them all cuddling very comforting but I am not comfortable with physical contact that much

90’sLavaLamp:.....

90’sLavaLamp: Okay that’s actually really sweet, I’m fine with the religion of Tokoyami now

TheGreenCareBear: Okay but hearing Kami softly singing Never Too Late by Three Day’s Grace in English as the movie goes on is the softest thing I’ve ever seen

KakashiFusion: It is quite nice

90’sLavaLamp: Awwwwwww

KakashiFusion: Now Jirou and Shinsou have joined him, it’s adorable

KakashiFusion: Um Midoriya you okay over there?

90'sLavaLamp: Wait, what

Newton’sAHoe: Is he alright??

KakashiFusion: I don’t know, he just looked down at his phone and stopped talking

PikaPretty: He looks like he’s doing an anime double take

KingKatsu: What the fuck did you do to Deku

PikaPretty: I’m not sure

PikaPretty: But now he looks like he’s praying

KingKatsu: I swear to God I WILL come the Fuck in there if he doesn’t tell me if he’s okay

{TheGreenCareBear has logged on}

TheGreenCareBear: KACCHAN

TheGreenCareBear: KACCHAN ENDEAVOR HAD A

TheGreenCareBear: S T R O K E

KingKatsu: N O O

TheGreenCareBear: Y E S S

PikaPretty:........

PikaPretty: That’s why you were thanking Jesus?

TheGreenCareBear: Hell yeah it is

KingKatsu: Amen

KakashiFusion:....... How bad a human being is Endeavor?

KingKatsu: Look at Todoroki’s therapy bill and you’ll see how bad he is

KakashiFusion: Well Then

KakashiFusion: Preach on brother

KakashiFusion: Preach on

Newton’sAHoe: Bakugou you’re with Todoroki aren’t you, is he okay?

KingKatsu: Okay?

KingKatsu: He’s reading this over my shoulder and fucking cackling Round face

KingKatsu: So I think he’s okay

KermitKin: Midoriya How did you find out about Endeavors stroke before the news?

TheGreenCareBear: AllMight texted me and asked me if Todoroki is alright and I asked him why he wouldn’t be

TheGreenCareBear: Then I received the wonderful news that Endeavor is gonna be stuck in the hospital for a week cause of both the stroke AND his high blood pressure

BillNye: I feel kind of bad celebrating the fact that Todoroki’s father had a stroke

TheGreenCareBear: Don’t Momo

TheGreenCareBear: It was a minor one 

KingKatsu: And he’s an abusive prick who should burn in the fucking pits of hell anyway so

KingKatsu: Don’t feel bad Mother

BillNye: !!!!!!!

SpyMaster: Oh no

BillNye: You called me mother

90’sLavaLamp: Here comes mama Momo

BillNye: Endeavor’s stroke

BillNye: Is now the best thing to ever happen to me 

KingKatsu: Same- Todoroki

KingKatsu: DON’T TAKE MY PHONE TO TEXT THEM, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN YOU LAZY BASTARD

KingKatsu: No I refuse to pause the falling children videos-Todoroki

KingKatsu: They're my reason to live- Todoroki

 


7:30 PM

 

“I’m going to fucking murder you IF YOU DON’T STOP ICY-HOT”

 

“You think your the one who gets to kill me Bakugou?”

 

Bakugo looked at Todoroki, the motherfucker was sitting next to him on his bed acting like an unimpressed fucking ostrich.

 

If the fucker wasn’t holding the phone with The Best of Falling Babies on it he’d of pushed him off the bed already.

 

That’s his story and he’s fucking sticking to it 

 

Bakugo was going to tell him to fuck off, he could kill any fucking one, when he realized something. 

 

“Wait a damn minute, does Endeavors stroke have anything to do with you wanting to propose to me again?”

 

Bakugo asked as his eyes narrowed, the timing was suspicious as fuck- now that he thought about it-  and he wanted answers.

 

“.......Is it so wrong to want to marry the boy who gave my father a stroke with his M-Rated fanfiction?”

 

Todoroki muttered, turning away from him, not really sure how Bakugo would react to unintentionally taking down the number one pro hero. 

 

“.....Was it the sixth or seventh book?”

 

Todoroki whipped back around to Bakugou, his eyes wide

 

“ I sent him the fifth one, does it get worse?”

 

Bakugo rolled his eyes upward, mentally taking stock of his horrible Fanfiction scenes.

 

“I don’t suggest sending him the last two Icy-Hot those have M-Preg and that may actually fucking kill him”

 

“.........Won’t you reconsider my proposal Katsuki?”

 

“ SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PRESS PLAY ON THE NEXT VIDEO”

 

Todoroki chuckled as he settled down next to Bakugou again, he started to press play-

 

“......Thanks, Shouto”

 

- when he proceeded to freeze up.

 

“ WHAT THE FUCK?!!”

 

Literally.

 

Chapter Text

11:19 AM

 

{PikaPretty And 18 others have logged on}

PikaPretty: Alright my snoopy babies, Todoroki and Bakugou have officially left the building

PikaPretty: So Hagakure, do your thing girl!

SpyMaster: On it~~~

Newton'sAHoe: This is our first snoop fest as a class

Newton'sAHoe: Can we have a hangout day in the common room to celebrate?

CrocsAreValid: Hell yeah, that sounds awesome!

CrocsAreValid: Ill round up the rest of the BakuSquad and some blankets!

KakashuFusion: I wish I had a squad Dad like you

CrocsAreValid: But, BakuBro is the dad of our squad?

KakashiFusion: You send them goodnight texts a mile long every night

KakashiFusion: You're also a squad dad

KermitKin: Him and Bakugou both are their platonic parents

CrocsAreValid: I

CrocsAreValid: Love that

DesignatedDecorater: Does that make me the step-father?

PikaPretty: Not step, we have three dads in this unit

TheMid2000's: How

TheMid2000's: Does that work???

PikaPretty: Bakugou is our Father, Kiri is our Dad, and Sero is our Papa

TheMid2000's: Despite all of those being different names for the same role

TheMid2000's: The tones are somehow

TheMid2000's: Accurate as fuck

CrocsAreValid: Where is MonomaBro? I've gathered everyone except him

CuteKakashi: I'm folding my laundry, I’ll be there in a bit

TheSun: Je t'imagine maintenant comme un mari de maison et mon cœur est plein

CuteKakashi: I know what Je means

CuteKakashi: And god help me I will find out the rest before we graduate

CuteKakashi: I swear it

90’sLavaLamp: I can’t wait to see how this turns out

CuteKakashi: Also Sero your binders done air drying in the laundry room, you want me to drop it off in your room?

DesignatedDecorater: Yes, please!

DesignatedDecorater: Thank you Monoma bro

CuteKakashi: No prob

CuteKakashi: Alright I’m on my way down

PikaPretty: Fuck yeah!

PikaPretty: Oh! I should get some snacks

ThePhantom: May I request some sunflower seeds?

JustDissapointed: May I also have some?

Newton’sAHoe: Oh some Kit Kats too if you don’t mind hon?

PikaPretty: Guys!

PikaPretty: Write a list and I’ll do a snack run for everybody

TheMid2000’s: Who's this nice person

TheMid2000’s: And what’d you do with Kaminari???

PikaPretty: I Will

PikaPretty: Feed You To the Birds 

ThePhantom: But then I’ll be too full for the sunflowers

BillNye: That’s vaguely terrifying

The1TailedBeast: Vaguely? 

BillNye: Well he is part bird, so is it kinda cannibalism or just being carnivorous?

Newton’sAHoe: Jesús Christ 

PikaPretty: Thank you Midoriya for writing the list while Momo debated the morality of Tokoyami eating Jirou

TheGreenCareBear: No problem Kami!

TheGreenCareBear: Do you need some help packing the snacks?

PikaPretty: P l e a s e

TheGreenCareBear: On it!

CrocsAreValid: I'll help too!

LovelyLavender: Kami I forgot to put it on the list but can you get me a cup of tea?

PikaPretty: Sure!

PikaPretty: But not the caffeinated one cause you actually need to sleep tonight

LovelyLavender: I can live with that

SpyMaster: Hey guys!

90’sLavaLamp: Hey! How’s it going?

TheMid2000’s: Have they tried to kill each other yet?

JustDissapointed: JIROU

SpyMaster: Nah, they’re actually talking to each other without threats of homicide!

The1TailedBeast: Bast blessed

SpyMaster: They are at their first stop though

SpyMaster: So do y’all want an update now or after Kami and the best bois get the snacks?

DesignatedDecorater: My boyfriend is indeed the best

DesignatedDecorater: But the way you said it makes me think of Best Buy and I ain’t down for that 

90’sLavaLamp: Sero’s hatred of Best Buy aside

90’sLavaLamp: The boys are back with the snacks-

PikaPretty: Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us Tell Us

90’sLavaLamp: So I think you’re more than okay to give the update now hon

SpyMaster: Awesome!

SpyMaster: So first thing, they look so cute in casual clothes!

TheGreenCareBear: Wait, what are they wearing?

SpyMaster: Bakugou is wearing a grey sweater with black pants. And Todoroki is wearing a black hoodie with really dark grey pants

SpyMaster: Todoroki’s hoodie has a huge middle finger logo on it too, Bakugou laughed when he saw it :)

Newton’sAHoe: AWWW!

Newton’sAHoe: They have matching aesthetics~

SpyMaster: I know! It’s sweet

90’sLavaLamp: I'm surprised they’re already at the Udon restaurant though

SpyMaster: Oh no they’re still ten minutes from the restaurant

SpyMaster: But Todoroki saw a hamster in a shop window and dragged Bakugou in to go look at it

90’sLavaLamp: Oh

Newton’sAHoe My

CrocsAreValid: Gods

DesignatedDecorater: Please Hagekure we’re begging

SpyMaster:?

PikaPretty: Send a pic

SpyMaster: Oh! Okay!

SpyMaster: Sent PNG- Bakugou’sNewBuddy-

Newton’sAHoe: THAT is the fluffiest hamster

Newton’sAHoe: I have ever seen

BillNye: I think the breed name is actually Teddy Bear Hamsters

Newton’sAHoe: That explains

Newton’sAHoe: So much

PikaPretty: Are y’all ignoring the fact that the hamster is cuddled up to BakuBro’s chest

PikaPretty: Like a tiny baby

DesignatedDecorater: Midoriya isn’t, he’s muttering up a storm

TheGreenCareBear: Sero

TheGreenCareBear: You don’t understand

TheGreenCareBear: I'm debating sending this to my mother

DesignatedDecorater: Oh! Why?

TheGreenCareBear: Well, she hasn’t seen him smiling, let alone with an animal since we were seven

90’sLavaLamp: Okay that's just sad

PikaPretty: I'm gonna cry in this Chili's, hand to god 

DesignatedDecorater: Then you should totally send it bro, but can you ask her not to show it to BakuBro’s mom?

DesignatedDecorater: She’d tease him with it and then he’d get embarrassed

SpyMaster: Plus he’d know I followed him and attempt to make us into human confetti!

DesignatedDecorater: Oh yeah

DesignatedDecorater: That too!

TheGreenCareBear: Don’t worry! I’ll tell her

DesignatedDecorater: Blessed be

DesignatedDecorater: Also Hagekure has anything else happened?

PikaPretty: Please tell us something did

PikaPretty: Cause now I’m sad

BillNye: I know how you feel Kami, would you like a hug?

PikaPretty: Please

TheMid2000's: Mother Momo back at it again

BillNye: Would you also like a hug Jirou?

TheMid2000's:......yes

TheMid2000's: Yes I would

SpyMaster: Oh guys! Something is happening!

CuteKakashi: Oh thank fucking god

CuteKakashi: What is it?

SpyMaster: Todoroki is taking a selfie with Bakugou and the little buddy

SpyMaster: And he’s smiling~

90’sLavaLamp:.........

90’sLavaLamp: Were hacking his phone to get that pic, right?

Newton’sAHoe: Yup

PikaPretty: Totally

DesignatedDecorater: Without a doubt

TheMid2000’s: Holy shit that was in synch

The1TailedBeast: My theory is it’s a sort of hive mind

JustDissapointed: Everyone! that is going too far! We do not have to hack Todoroki’s phone to get a single picture

JustDissapointed: Right Momo?

JustDissapointed: Momo?

BillNye: I'm sorry Iida I'm on the phone

JustDissapointed:..... With Who

BillNye:...I don’t wanna say

JustDissapointed: MOMO

BillNye: Hatsume says hi though!

90'sLavaLamp: Looks like you're outvoted Class Prez~

JustDissapointed: Curse this sudden

JustDissapointed: But inevitable

JustDissapointed: Betrayal


 

12:10 PM

{SpyMaster And 18 others have logged on} 

SpyMaster: Okay everyone, they’re finally at the restaurant!

CrocsAreValid: Oh wow, that kinda took longer then I thought it would

LovelyLavender: Same

SpyMaster: Well Todoroki did have to drag Bakugou away from the pet shop

SpyMaster: He’s still pouting about it!

ThePhantom: That's surprisingly adorable

The1TailedBeast: what's surprising is the fact you used the word adorable

The1TailedBeast: I thought the void forbid you from such things

ThePhantom: Todoroki, as a member of my coven, is blessed by the void and its infinite darkness. As such the void will accept my use of the word, so long as I am referring to coven members or their partners

The1TailedBeast: I

The1TailedBeast: I wasn't expecting an actual answer Tokoyami

90'sLavaLamp: Neither was I

90'sLavaLamp: Holy Shit

DesignatedDecorater: Wait one fucking minute

DesignatedDecorater: Does that mean our Pikachu and Purple Boi are blessed by the void too?

ThePhantom: Why yes it does

DesignatedDecorater:.........

DesignatedDecorater: I don't know if I should be happy that they're on the voids good side

DesignatedDecorater: Or if I should call an exorcist

LovelyLavender: Eh Exorcism's don't work on the void anyway, it'd just be a waste of 200 dollars man

DesignatedDecorater: Fuck

Newton'sAHoe: Priests

Newton'sAHoe: Charge you for exorcisms 

CuteKakashi: That is the part you choose to focus on Urakara

CuteKakashi: Really?!

PikaPretty: Can we please get back to Bakubro's not date Monoma

PikaPretty: Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

CuteKakashi:......

CuteKakashi: Alright, but this is not over

PikaPretty: I'll take what I can get!

PikaPretty: So what are they doing at the restaurant Hagekure?

SpyMaster: Right now they're seeing who can handle the most spice

SpyMaster: Bakugou is in the lead, with a vicious bite into a whole fucking pepper

KakashiFusion: What in abomination

SpyMaster: But Todoroki is catching up by chugging the hot sauce

GordonRamsey: I feel personally attacked by this entire situation 

GordonRamsey: I thought this was supposed to be about Udon

GordonRamsey: Not about abusing flavors 

SpyMaster: It was 

SpyMaster: Until they both decided the spicy udon wasn't hot enough

TheGreenCareBear: We really should have seen this coming

TheGreenCareBear: We all know they're competitive

PikaPretty: We knew they were competitive Midoriya

PikaPretty: We just didn't think they were that fucking stupid

TheGreenCareBear: Okay

TheGreenCareBear: True

90'sLavaLamp: Hagekure I think you can come home now sweetie

BillNye: Indeed, we don't think anything else will happen

BillNye: Well except maybe a run to the pharmacy for Pepto

SpyMaster: Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus 

SpyMaster: I'll be back at dorms in 30 minutes or so

PikaPretty: We'll have a cup of cocoa ready for you

CrocsAreValid: As a thank you for your service!

SpyMaster: Thank you

SpyMaster: So much


 

2:39 PM

{KingKatsu And 20 others have logged on} 

KingKatsu: Hey fuckers we're at the door let us in

SadColgate: We wanna show you Sandy the hamster

KingKatsu: His name is not Sandy you living fucking peppermint

KingKatsu: It's CopyCat

SadColgate: I paid for him, I'm calling him Sandy

KingKatsu: You bought him for me so no the fuck your not

CrocsAreValid:

SpyMaster:

ThePhantom:

TheGreenCareBear:

PikaPretty:

90'sLavaLamp:

DesignatedDecorater:

GordonRamsey:

KakashiFusion:

CuteKakashi: :D

The1TailedBeast:

LovelyLavender:

BillNye:

BillNye: Well damn

BillNye: I was wrong

 

 

Chapter Text

6:30 AM

{ KingKatsu and 17 others have logged on}

KingKatsu: Okay motherfuckers I held off questioning you yesterday cause I was setting up CopyCat’s Goddamn mansion

KingKatsu: But someone is gonna tell me what the fuck happened in the group chat when we came back from the pet shop

PikaPretty: Before we answer you, I have to ask

PikaPretty: What the fuck do you mean by mansion

KingKatsu: Todoroki picked out CopyCats cage

KingKatsu: And he chose a Beverly Hills mansion looking thing cause he’s a rich little shit

90’sLavaLamp: Is it really that bad?

KingKatsu: It’s got three fucking floors

GordonRamsey: Multi-level cages are good for them though!

KingKatsu: It has

KingKatsu: A

KingKatsu: Swirly Slide

GordonRamsey:...... I admit

GordonRamsey: That is slightly excessive

SadColgate: It was necessary

90’sLavaLamp: Why

SadColgate: His happiness

KingKatsu: He’d be happy with anything, even those evil multicolored cages that burn my fucking eyes

KingKatsu: So I don’t know why you brought this curse of a cage upon my household

PikaPretty: Okay I need to see this thing

PikaPretty: It can’t be that extra

KingKatsu: Pikachu you ass don’t say that

KingKatsu: Todoroki will take that as a challenge

SadColgate: Just for that, I’m buying him tiny Gucci sweaters

KingKatsu: You bastard

BillNye: Bakugou, I would like to apologize.

KingKatsu: Why?

BillNye: Because the reason we were all shocked yesterday is that I had just got done saying that you would have already fought one another to the death by now

BillNye: I'm very happy that I was wrong though! And I am deeply sorry for betting that you’d be kicked out of the Udon restaurant

KingKatsu:...........

KingKatsu: Well you weren’t wrong about getting kicked out of the Udon restaurant

SadColgate: Kicked out is an understatement

SadColgate: We are the first customers to ever make it onto their banned for life list

KingKatsu: And it’s your fault for trying to eat the Udon while it was on fire 

KingKatsu: So all of you were making bets on how our day would go?

90’sLavaLamp: Yep, I bet that you’d forget about the Udon and send threatening flowers to Endeavor’s hospital room instead

PikaPretty: I still don’t understand how flowers can be threatening though

DesignatedDecorater: Well black roses mean you wish death upon someone

CrocsAreValid: And you can pick thorny flowers so it’ll hurt him when he picks them up!

TheMid2000’s: I'm not surprised that three members of the Bakusquad know how to send death threats via flowers

TheMid2000’s: I am shocked it’s only three though

LovelyLavender: Does anyone else see Todoroki writing

LovelyLavender: Send threatening flowers to father on his to-do list

LovelyLavender: Cause I do

Newton’sAHoe: It’s definitely something he’d do

LovelyLavender: No I mean I can actually see him doing it right now at the kitchen table

LovelyLavender: He’s writing it down with a red glitter pen

TheMid2000’s: OoF

JustDissapointed: Please @SadColgate

JustDissapointed: No planning threats this early in the morning

SadColgate: I'm not planning it now

SadColgate: I'm planning it later, hence the To Do Later list

JustDissapointed:......

JustDissapointed: It’s too early for this

JustDissapointed: If you need me you can find me screaming into the abyss

SpyMaster: Aw fuck Todoroki broke our class dad

KermitKin: I think we’re all surprised it took this long though 

ThePhantom: Hello Iida, do you have a moment to talk about our savior the Void?

The1TailedBeast: Converting the class president right before our very eyes

The1TailedBeast: You monster

KingKatsu: Ignoring Ojiro's Spanish Inquisition of Tokoyami's religion

KingKatsu: I’ll fight all of you for betting on us later

KingKatsu: Right now I’m going to go feed CopyCat

SadColgate: May I join you? I’d like to see him

KingKatsu: Alright but if you start measuring him for a Gucci sweater I’m kicking your ass

{ KingKatsu and SadColgate have logged off}

PikaPretty: Holy shit we actually got away with that

90’sLavaLamp: I know, I am

90’sLavaLamp: s h o c k e d

BillNye: I do feel bad for lying to them though......

Newton’sAHoe: Just think about the selfie Hatsume sent us Momo

Newton’sAHoe: Wasn’t It worth it?

BillNye: They looked so soft and happy

BillNye: Alright, I can live with it!

TheMid2000’s: Oh wow that was fast

TheMid2000’s: Is he actually gonna try and kick all our asses though?

CrocsAreValid: Nah!

CrocsAreValid: If BakuBro says he’ll wait till later he usually doesn’t

CrocsAreValid: Unless he’s really angry, but there’s been no explosions so we’re good!

TheMid2000’s: Awesome


6:45 AM

PrivatePM

{KingKatsu to SadColgate}

KingKatsu: I'm insulted that they thought we wouldn’t notice a floating phone following us yesterday

SadColgate: Really?

SadColgate: I thought you’d be insulted with their cover story

KingKatsu: Nah the bets were an okay excuse

KingKatsu: Although I think they need a few acting classes

SadColgate: Oof, petty

KingKatsu: Can you blame me motherfucker

SadColgate:....Hmmm, not really

SadColgate: I'm a little petty myself, mostly because they asked Hatsume to get our selfie off my phone

KingKatsu: Same

KingKatsu: Do they not know you're kinda friends with her?

SadColgate: I think only Midoriya knows, he's seen me being used as her smelting stick

SadColgate: I'm glad she asked for it instead of actually getting it off my phone

KingKatsu: You looked like an offended red panda when she told you why she wanted it

SadColgate: I was an offended red panda

SadColgate: So how are we getting them back for this exactly?

KingKatsu: I was thinking psychological torture

SadColgate: Awww no waterboarding?

SadColgate: I'm a little sad now

KingKatsu: Well cheer the fuck up buttercup

KingKatsu: Cause you’re gonna love what I have in mind


9:20 AM

{LovelyLavender and 12 others have logged on}

LovelyLavender: Monoma is that King sensei at the door?

CuteKakashi: I think so, I can barely see though

TheGreenCareBear: I can, it's definitely him

DesignatedDecorat: Is he waiting for Sensei to notice him and let him in?

KingKatsu: Probably

KingKatsu: Vampires can't come in uninvited

TheMid2000's: Damn

TheMid2000's: @GordonRamsey where's the garlic?

GordonRamsey: In last nights dinner

90'sLavaLamp: Well were d o o m e d

90'sLavaLamp: Seriously tho why's he here? doesn't he have class

CuteKakashi: No I think he has planning right now, so he may be here to ask Aizawa Sensei something

KingKatsu: I don't think he is CopyCat

KingKatsu: Wait, shit I need a new nickname for you now

{JustDissapointed has logged on}

JustDissapointed: Why are you all on your phones in class

KingKatsu: Cause the vampire looks like he wants to fight sensei

CrocsAreValid: Oh shit he does, he's like full on glaring at him through the door

CrocsAreValid: Oooh he's raising his right arm

PikaPretty: Is he actually gonna knock or do you think he's gonna wait for the most dramatic moment

PikaPretty: And just slam it open

JustDissapointed: My friends I highly doubt King sensei is going to attempt to fight Aizawa sensei

LovelyLavander: And "slam the door open so you think my dick is big" wins!

JustDissapointed: SHINSOU

DesignatedDecorater: Damnit Shin!

DesignatedDecorater: Now Mina's cackling like a Heyna on meth

DesignatedDecorater: My ears hurt

LovelyLavender: Sorry couldn't help myself

LovelyLavender: At least the vampire looks slightly disturbed by Mina instead of pissed at Sensei

LovelyLavender: Ah nope there it is again

PikaPretty: We are destroying him if he actually tries to hit sensei, right?

JustDissapointed: NO

{ TheGodFather has logged on}

TheGodFather: Yes

{TheGodFather has logged off}

JustDissapointed: ....................

TheGreenCareBear: What

PikaPretty: Are you going to go against the head of the mafia Iida

PikaPretty: Are you?

JustDissapointed:...

JustDissapointed: At this point?

JustDissapointed: Hell no

TheGreenCareBear: I

TheGreenCareBear: Seriously though who the fuck was that?

JustDissapointed: God probably

KakashiFusion: Makes sense

JustDissapointed: Perhaps this is a sign

TheGreenCareBear: That you should let us destroy King sensei?

JustDissapointed: Oh no

JustDissapointed: Just that he or she hates me

ThePhantom: Now Iida I know you were screaming into the abyss when I offered the first time-

The1TailedBeast: Put that back where it came from or so help me- oh wait

The1TailedBeast: Oh shit

CrocsAreValid: AhH FUck NO

90'sLavaLamp: He did not just

90'sLavaLamp: Oh that dirty bitch

DesignatedDecorater: His death will be agonizing

PikaPretty: Vlad the Impaler just demanded that Aizawa senseI give Monoma back, AND insulted Sensei

PikaPretty: @ KingKatsu CAN WE FIGHT HIM NOW

KingKatsu: That depends

PikaPretty: On whAT

KingKatsu: On whether or not PhotoCopy wants us to fuck the vampires shit up

KingKatsu: Until he says he wants us to, we wait

KingKatsu: Okay?

PikaPretty:

PikaPretty: Yes captain

KingKatsu: Good ( get the fucking pitchforks ready just in case)

TheMid2000's: Bakugou biding his time until he can hurt you properly

TheMid2000's: Is somehow More terrifying than when he explodes on you???

TheGreenCareBear: Ah now you know how most of my childhood felt

KingKatsu: We really need to go to the joint therapy sessions 

TheGreenCareBear: I'll ask MightyDad to set it up 

CrocsAreValid: Are you okay MonomaBro?

CrocsAreValid: You're looking pretty upset over there

CuteKakashi: I feel like a ten-year-old in the middle of a nasty divorce

CuteKakashi: You think I'd be a little upset but also happy for the two Christmas's

CuteKakashi: But really I'm pissed and I want to smash shit

CuteKakashi: And honestly I care for both of them but if King sensei gets physical with Aizawa sensei

CuteKakashi: It's going down

LovelyLavender: Well considering the fact that Aizawa sensei told him "Hell no King he's one of my kids" and the vampire is currently reaching his fist back

LovelyLavender: I'd say it's going down right about now

CuteKakashi: .........

CuteKakashi: Captain

KingKatsu: Yes minion?

CuteKakashi: Fist Bump


10:30 AM

When Did We Become Parents GC

{GoodGrandma and 3 others have logged on}

GoodGrandma: So

GoodGrandma: The good news is that he's stable

TheLivingSoundSystem: Grannie

TheLivingSoundSystem: That's the bad news

GoodGrandma: Oh hush!

GoodGrandma: He may have deserved it, but those kids certainly don't need murder charges

TheLivingSoundSystem:.........

GoodGrandma:.......

GoodGrandma: And Aizawa is completely healthy

TheLivingSoundSystem:..........

GoodGrandma:.........

TheLivingSoundSystem: Jesus

TheLivingSoundSystem: Okay!

TheLivingSoundSystem: King being alive can be the good news

TheLivingSoundSystem: Can I go see my husband now?

GoodGrandma: Of course dear

TheGodFather: What were the extent of his injuries?

GoodGrandma: Mostly he had a lot of oddly shaped bruised

TheLivingSoundSystem: Sho said that was from the majority of the kids throwing books at him

GoodGrandma: There are also quite a few injuries that resemble the effects of Bakugou’s quirk

GoodGrandma: I assume he’s the one who defended Aizawa the most?

TheLivingSoundSystem: According to Sho

TheLivingSoundSystem: It was actually Monoma. He was using Bakugous quirk to blast some sense into King

TheLivingSoundSystem: Also

TheLivingSoundSystem: Sho said to say this cause it made him laugh

TheLivingSoundSystem: The minute King hit him, Monoma raced to Bakugou and gave Bakugou a fist bump. And as he started to walk toward King (while Sho’s other students were howling like angry wolves) Bakugou said

TheLivingSoundSystem: “ Go my minion, raise Hell

TheLivingSoundSystem: And he did

TheGodFather: Hizashi please remind Aizawa that this is very serious business, and we must conduct ourselves with decorum! 

GoodGrandma:......

GoodGrandma: Nedzu you know we can hear you laughing from the infirmary

GoodGrandma: Right?

TheGodFather:....no you can’t

TheGodFather: So what are the other injuries?

GoodGrandma:....

GoodGrandma: A very large bruise on his chest and side

GoodGrandma: Care to explain dear?

TheLivingSoundSystem: Well since Monoma was using his quirk, Bakugou decided to abstain from making explosions

TheLivingSoundSystem: Instead he threw his desk, chair and all at King

GoodGrandma:... That’s

GoodGrandma: The least amount of damage he has ever done, I’m quite proud

GoodGrandma: He's getting a strawberry lollipop at his next checkup

TheLivingSoundSyste: Don’t tell Sho but I’m gonna get him these skull lights he’s been saving up for

TheGodFather: We can spoil the children later

TheGodFather: Are there any more injuries I need to put down in the report?

GoodGrandma: Only three more.

TheGodFather: What are they?

GoodGrandma: Very mild frostbite, a busted lip, and a black eye

TheLivingSoundSystem: Todoroki, my husband, and Midoriya respectively

TheGodFather: Alright, I’ve got my report written ( along with Kings two weeks without pay suspension paperwork)

TheGodFather: Hizashi, take your husband home

TheLivingSoundSystem: Gladly, but what about Sho’s kids?

TheGodFather: Don’t worry

TheGodFather: I asked Midnight if she would come in on her day off to watch them, she said she would

TheGodFather: So she’ll be here in twenty minutes!

{AccidentalFather has logged on} 

AccidentalFather: Not today Satan

AccidentalFather: Not today

Chapter Text

 11:45 AM

{CuteKakashi and 17 others have logged on}

The1TailedBeast: Does anyone know why Aizawa Sensei looked so determined when he came back from the infirmary?

TheGreenCareBear: No, and honestly I don’t know if I wanna know

The1TailedBeast: Why?

TheGreenCareBear: Because whatever can motivate Sensei that much?

TheGreenCareBear: It scares me

The1TailedBeast: You have... A point

The1TailedBeast: Also Monoma why are you hiding behind Kirishima? 

CuteKakashi: Well, I think some of my old classmates have a hit out on me now?

CuteKakashi: Should I be afraid?

The1TailedBeast: Possibly

KingKatsu: Let them try and kill you

KingKatsu: Let them try

The1TailedBeast: Okay never mind you’re good man

KermitKin: You have more protection than the wife of an Italian mafia member

KermitKin: You fear no one Monoma-San

CrocsAreValid: Plus you’ve gotten pretty strong bro, you could take any assassin they throw at you!

CuteKakashi: Kiri, please

CuteKakashi: My soulless form can only take so many compliments before it regrows a heart

CrocsAreValid: Then I guess I ain’t stopping Mr.Grinch ^<^

CuteKakashi: Bro

SpyMaster: Did he actually just say, bro?

TheMid2000’s: When you hang around Kiri, Sero, and Kami a lot you start saying it

TheSun: Don’t fret mes chéris, I shall fix it

TheMid2000’s: Godspeed Aoyama

TheMid2000’s: Godspeed

DesignatedDecorater: I’ll question the Shakespearean play that just happened later

DesignatedDecorater: MoBro I don’t think they’ll actually try anything

DesignatedDecorater: They fear Bakugou too much

KingKatsu: Damn straight they do

CuteKakashi: Bless, I can actually get my four hours of sleep tonight

JustDissapointed: Do

JustDissapointed: Do none of you sleep??

KingKatsu: They really fucking don’t

KingKatsu: Also, Kermit?

KermitKin: Yes?

KingKatsu: Happy Anniversary to you and round face

KermitKin: Oh! Thank you Bakugou, you’re the first person to say it today

JustDissapointed: It’s the 25th already?

JustDissapointed: I must gather your gift from my room

Newton’sAHoe: Gift?

90'sLavaLamp: WAIT NOONON

90'sLavaLamp: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU TWO THAT THIS MORNING

90'sLavaLamp: IM SO SORRY!

KermitKin: Its okay Mina-Chan, me and Urakara don't mind

Newton'sAHoe: Yeah! You're okay Mina ( also Iida what gift? Tell meeeee)

JustDissapointed: No, you’ll find out later

90'sLavaLamp: I still feel awful that I forgot, I'm buying you guys some of those roses Shiozaki sells

Newton'sAHoe: Oh! You don't have to Mina!

90'sLavaLamp: I know, but I want to! It's your six month anniversary:)

Newton'sAHoe: Awww, well thank you, Mina, <3

KermitKin: You're very sweet Mina-chan

90'sLavaLamp: Not as sweet as you guys!

90'sLavaLamp: I'll be back in a bit, I've spotted Shiozaki

DesignatedDecorater: She’s on the hunt

DesignatedDecorater: I’ve got your gift from me in the common room

Newton’sAHoe: Guys!! You really didn’t have to get us anything

KermitKin: I agree, your congratulations are more than enough

PikaPretty: We know, we just want to!

PikaPretty: It’s really fun making you guys smile

Newton’sAHoe: AAKALK AMBYEUEJSKOSJ

Newton’sAHoe: KAMINARI GET OVER HERE IM HUGGING YOU

Newton’sAHoe: R I G H T N O W

PikaPretty: Okay!

SadColgate: If she’s like this now I wonder how she’ll react when she sees Midoriya’s gift

TheGreenCareBear: Todoroki you piss goblin

TheGreenCareBear: You’ve exposed me

ThePhantom: I have a question regarding the phrase piss goblin

TheGreenCareBear: What’s your question?

The1TailedBeast: Tokoyami if your question isn’t “What the fuck?” I don’t know what to say 

ThePhantom: Is it copyrighted?

The1TailedBeast: .....I'm disappointed in you 

JustDissapointed: Now you know how I feel

TheGreenCareBear: I’ll have to ask Kacchan

TheGreenCareBear: Kacchan?

KingKatsu: I charge skull ornaments for the use of the phrase piss goblin

ThePhantom: I see, follow up question

ThePhantom: How many skull ornaments do I need to buy the rights to piss goblin?

KingKatus: Precisely?

KingKatsu: Enough to make a throne

The1TailedBeast: Bakugou no one has that many skull ornaments just lying around

ThePhantom: I do, I use some of them for my Christmas Tree

ThePhantom: @JustDissapointed Can you draw up a contract?

JustDissapointed: I’ll have it done by dinner

The1TailedBeast: ........Really? Really!

The1TailedBeast: Which shopping mall in Japan is missing its entire Halloween stock thanks to you?

ThePhantom: It’s not missing if I have all 32 of the receipts

The1TailedBeast: Alright square up

TheGreenCareBear: This went violent faster then I thought it would

Newton’sAHoe: Dekuuuuuu

TheGreenCareBear:... Yes?

Newton’sAHoe: What is the gifttttt

Newton’sAHoe: Tell meeeeeeeee

TheGreenCareBear: Todoroki

TheGreenCareBear: Look what you did

SadColgate: I'm looking

SadColgate: And I'm not caring

TheMid2000’s: WELL DAMN

TheMid2000’s: Who pissed in your Cheerios?

JustDissapointed: Leave the Cheerios out of this Jirou

LovelyLavender: You all have too much energy

LovelyLavender: It’s making me sleepy

PikaPretty: What's making you sleepy is you staying up all night playing KleptoCats

TheMid2000’s: 1 point to Kaminari

TheMid2000’s: The score is now 36-40 for the concerned roasting competition

PikaPretty: ......

PikaPretty: But he needs to sleep more

TheMid2000’s: The score is now 36-41

PikaPretty: I'm replacing your playlist with 32 different versions of Friday by Rebecca Black

PikaPretty: And 10 versions of Call Me Maybe

TheMid2000’s:......

TheMid2000’s: Temporary cease-fire?

PikaPretty: Hell Yeah

The1TailedBeast: Okay. Those songs are not bad enough to make you back down Jirou

TheMid2000’s: If it was the songs alone, you’d be right

TheMid2000’s: But the different versions come from another dimension of hell

PikaPretty: Shin I can see you eyeing the coffee machine

LovelyLavender: Kami I need it

SpyMaster: Who will back down in this battle of wills 

PikaPretty: No you don’t, you’ll never sleep tonight if you drink more

LovelyLavender: Pleaseeeeeee

DesignatedDecorater: This happens all the time during Bakusquad game night

PikaPretty: No!

CrocsAreValid: And it always ends the same ^~^

LovelyLavender: Pika

LovelyLavender: Please?

PikaPretty:...........

PikaPretty: If it’s not the decaf I’m hunting you down and trapping you in a fucking leopard print Snuggie

LovelyLavender: Oh thank the gods 

LovelyLavender: I’ll be back with the decaf and that hot chocolate you like

{LovelyLavender has logged off}

CrocsAreValid: The battle always ends with Shinsou getting decaf

CrocsAreValid: And Kami getting Hot Chocolate as a peace offering!

DesignatedDecorater: Although the Snuggie is new, isn’t it babe?

CrocsAreValid: Yup! He changed it from the pile of disturbing pillow pets from Etsy

DesignatedDecorater: Although the fact that he knew they existed was actually more disturbing than the pillows themselves

DesignatedDecorater: Oh! I forgot to ask earlier, Tsu do you and Urakara have any plans for today?

KermitKin: Yes, we had planned on having a small picnic on the roof tonight

DesignatedDecorater: Awesome! So do you think you’ll have time to open presents and have some cupcakes before then? Satou made them!

GordonRamsey: They’re pink and green in your honor

Newton’sAHoe: GUYS IM CRYING YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS

GordonRamsey: Kaminari said it best

GordonRamsey: We all just love seeing you two smile

KermitKin: You’ve all been very kind

KermitKin: We’re probably going to have the picnic at 7 so we’ll definitely have time for cupcakes and presents <3


12:00

PrivatePM

{SadColgate to KingKatsu}

SadColgate: We are exacting our vengeance after Urakara and Tsu leave for their picnic, right?

KingKatsu: Oh definitely

SadColgate: Wonderful, although I am surprised that you aren’t insisting that they have to go through it too

KingKatsu: Nah I wouldn’t do that. They get a pass this time cause it’s their anniversary

KingKatsu: The rest of them, however, will suffer through our vengeance

SadColgate:.......

SadColgate: On a related topic, what flowers do you want at our future wedding?

KingKatsu: Blood Red Roses and Sunflowers or I'm kicking your ass 

SadColgate: Yes Sir!


4:00 PM

{PikaPretty and 17 others have logged on}

PikaPretty: It’s almost Party Time!!

TheMid2000’s: Awesome, I’ll go get my present

PikaPretty: Okay Jirou, Me and Sero made a pile for the gifts on the corner table!

90’sLavaLamp: And me and Midoriya are helping Satou set up the food in the kitchen!

TheMid2000’s: Hell yeah, I’ll be back in a sec

Newton’sAHoe: You guys are so sweet! I can’t wait to see it all when we’re not banished from the common room that is XD

TheGreenCareBear: Sorry! Can’t let you and Tsu see the party before it’s all done

TheGreenCareBear: Shinsou how are the balloons going?

LovelyLavender: Good, I’ve finished all the normal balloons. I’m on the heart-shaped ones now

CrocsAreValid: We gave you those balloons seven minutes ago

CrocsAreValid: How are you almost done, bro?

LovelyLavender: A lot of practice

LovelyLavender: I've been the designated balloon blower at all my little cousins birthday parties

CrocsAreValid: Awww that’s sweet! How many cousins do you have?

LovelyLavender: Seven

CrocsAreValid: Tha

CrocsAreValid: That’s a lot of cousins

LovelyLavender: True, I blame my aunt for being extremely fertile

DesignatedDecorater: Aunt as in, singular?

DesignatedDecorater: You had one aunt who had seven fucking kids

LovelyLavender: Yep

CrocsAreValid: How does she handle that many kids at once

LovelyLavender: Eh, they’re all kinda done with the universe so they’re pretty chill to look after 

PikaPretty: Awwww! They sound like tiny you's

LovelyLavender: They are

LovelyLavender: Whenever they come over It’s like my own tiny army

PikaPretty: That’s The cutest thing

PikaPretty: Ever

PikaPretty: Please tell me they also have purple hair

LovelyLavender: Rin, Moyo, Takuma, and Hoshiko do

PikaPretty: Awww cute! What about the other mini Shin’s?

LovelyLavender: Well Katsuya, Sada, and Aya have dark blue hair

LovelyLavender: I did catch Katsuya trying to dye his hair purple once though

LovelyLavender: He said it was because he wanted to “look more like mommy, Auntie, and cousin Shinshou”

CrocsAreValid: Awwww!

PikaPretty: Pardon me I’m just going to go cry over that now 

DesignatedDecorater: Honestly same, that’s like the sweetest thing ever

DesignatedDecorater: Excluding my boyfriend of course

CrocsAreValid: BABE

DesignatedDecorater: Yes love?

CrocsAreValid: SNKZNAmalNamLakKAKAJSKSVK

CrocsAreValid: Stopppp before my face matches my hair!

DesignatedDecorater: Awwww but I love you in red <3

CrocsAreValid: ....

CrocsAreValid: Hanta honey, pleaseeeee

DesignatedDecorater: !!!!!!!!!!!

PikaPretty: Aaaaaand we’ve lost them

LovelyLavender: If we don’t see them making out in ten minutes I’ll be surprised

PikaPretty: How can you say something so controversial

PikaPretty: Yet so brave

TheMid2000’s: Kami, can your dead meme obsession be put on the back burner for five seconds

TheMid2000’s: Cause I have questions

PikaPretty: Sure, buuuuut you're getting Pepe memes in your inbox when you're done

TheMid2000’s:..... I’ll find a way to live with that

TheMid2000’s: Possibly with alcoholism, who knows? 

TheMid2000’s: But do you think Kiri and Sero will come back to us if we bribe them with ice cream?

PikaPretty: Depends, what kind do you have?

TheMid2000’s: Neapolitan, cookie dough, and rocky road 

PikaPretty:......

PikaPretty: Yeah you ain’t getting them back, today sweetie


5:30 PM

{Newton’sAHoe And 18 others have logged on}

Newton’sAHoe: Oh my god you guys!!

Newton’sAHoe: Everything looks so cute!

KermitKin: Are those frog decorations

LovelyLavender: Yup

PikaPretty: We had to give our favorite Froppy some rep <3

KermitKin: Tears are cascading down my face at an alarming rate

The1TailedBeast: This is just the beginning my friends

90’sLavaLamp: He's Right, I can’t wait till you see how Satou’s cupcakes turned out!

TheGreenCareBear: They’re really pretty! He put edible pearls and lily pads on them 

TheGreenCareBear: Do you wanna eat or open presents first? 

Newton’sAHoe: Hmm well I wanna save room for the picnic later

Newton’sAHoe: So I think eating right now would be best, that way we’ll have time to get hungry again

Newton’sAHoe: What do you think hon?

KermitKin: I think that’s the best idea

KermitKin: Although I'm probably biased

The1TailedBeast: How?

KermitKin: I'm hungry

TheMid2000’s: OOF. 

TheMid2000’s: I felt that mood


6:00 PM

{Newton’sAHoe and 17 others have logged on}

Newton’sAHoe: I think those cupcakes actually helped purify my soul

TheGreenCareBear: But your soul was already pure? 

KermitKin: Clearly You haven’t seen her play Mario Kart, my friend 

Newton’sAHoe: You expose me, on this holy day

Newton’sAHoe: In front of our son

KermitKin: If he’s old enough for us to give him the talk

KermitKin: Then he’s definitely old enough to know you call every character on Mario Cart a cocksucker

TheGreenCareBear: You wHAT

JustDissapointed: Urakara

The1TailedBeast: HoLy ShIt

TheGreenCareBear: Mother why 

The1TailedBeast: Tsu I think you managed to make Bakugou genuinely laugh for the first time since his conception

The1TailedBeast: It’s amazing, he’s wheezing

KermitKin: Oh, nice

KermitKin: I can finally cross that one off my bucket list 

Newton’sAHoe: Baby, I feel so betrayed right now. You’ve unearthed my greatest shame

Newton’sAHoe: Iida hold me! 

JustDissapointed: I will when you stop channeling Bakugou during Mario Kart

Newton’sAHoe:......

Newton’sAHoe: Mina, hold me!

90’sLavaLamp: On it like a rocket! 

JustDissapointed:......... Read my username Urakara

JustDissapointed: Read it


6:30 PM

{ Newton’sAHoe  And  16 others have logged on}

Newton’sAHoe: I can't believe you guys got us all this!

Newton’sAHoe: Kami I think your matching slippers almost made Tsu cry 

KermitKin: They did, so

KermitKin: Fluffy

Newton’sAHoe: And Satou I love your personal coupon books!

GordonRamsey: I'm happy you do! Don’t be afraid to use it, I love baking for you guys

Newton’sAHoe: You precious man

Newton’sAHoe: I am not worthy

Newton’sAHoe: Iida, your scrapbook of us had me sobbing

JustDissapointed: I'm glad you liked my gift

JustDissapointed: It has been a pleasure to see your love blossom these past months

JustDissapointed: And I wish you many more together 

Newton’sAHoe: IIDA IM C R Y I N G

Newton’sAHoe: You’re officially one of my bridesmaids 

JustDissapointed: Wonderful, just, please

JustDissapointed: Don’t choose long bridesmaid dresses

Newton’sAHoe: No promises~

Newton’sAHoe: Oh! Jirou you made us a mixtape!!

TheMid2000’s: Only the best for my girls, I hope you guys like it!

KermitKin: It has Lady Gaga

KermitKin: We already love it

Newton’sAHoe: Oooh Sero thank you for these matching earmuffs!

KermitKin: They are warm, I approve

DesignatedDecorater: No problem, I’m glad you like them!!

Newton’sAHoe: <3

Newton’sAHoe: Okay next is Deku’s!!! I’ve been waiting for this one ever since Todoroki’s foreshadowing at lunchhh

TheGreenCareBear: The struggle to keep him from spilling the beans on my gift

TheGreenCareBear: Was So fucking real it convinced me that my life isn’t actually a very long dream

SadColgate: It’s a gift, truly

Newton’sAHoe: OHH MY GOD DEKU IS THIS

Newton’sAHoe: IS THIS A 60 DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO OUR FAVORITE BOBA PLACE

TheGreenCareBear: Yup! Since it was where you had your first date, I thought it’d be a good gift for your anniversaryskkamalallallnsnejwkskaozkskamqkqosksksksksjsjskdkdododod

SadColgate: And my best friend is down for the count with a killer tackle from Urakara 

SadColgate: I think he’s ascended to the next plane of existence

SadColgate:  So I will be holding best friend tryouts later on next week

KermitKin: Might wanna hold em sooner cause I’m joining the tackle pile

SadColgate: This Thursday works

TheGreenCareBear: I feel so loved

TheGreenCareBear: Wait, Tsu, Kacchan hasn’t gone yet!!

The1TailedBeast: I think he’s just trying to escape his fate now 

TheMid2000’s:  True, I don’t think it’s working though

KingKatsu:  I'm bench pressing the bus you just threw me under you bastard 

KingKatsu: But, here you go Kermit.

KermitKin: Is

KermitKin: Is this a heated blanket that fits two

KingKatsu: Well that’s what my fucking receipt said, so probably

KingKatsu: You mentioned that you get really sleepy during the winter and you were worried that you would sleep through you and Round Face’s musical nights

KingKatsu: So...

KingKatsu: Whatever

DesignatedDecorater:

CrocsAreValid:

BillNye:

SadColgate:

LovelyLavender:

CuteKakashi:

PikaPretty:

TheGreenCareBear:

ThePhantom:

TheMid2000’s:

The1TailedBeast:

TheSun:

90’sLavaLamp:

GordonRamsey:

KakashiFusion:

SpyMaster:

JustDissapointed:

<3 \>,<\: 

KermitKin:...

KermitKin: Baby please get off of Deku and help me hug this soft boy 

KingKatus: AW FUCK nO

Chapter Text

 7:00 PM

{DesignatedDecorater and 15 others have logged on}

 

DesignatedDecorater: I hope you guys have a lovely picnic!

Newton’sAHoe: Thank you Sero!

Newton’sAHoe: Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up though?

Newton’sAHoe: I’d hate leaving without helping

DesignatedDecorater: You are not lifting a finger!

DesignatedDecorater: It’s your anniversary, we’ll be fine

DesignatedDecorater: We have Iida ^_^

Newton’sAHoe: Ah True!

Newton’sAHoe: Well if your sure, we’ll be off!

90’sLavaLamp: Okay honey! Have fun, you guys <3

90’sLavaLamp:.........

90’sLavaLamp: Todoroki why’d you freeze the door?

SadColgate: My reasons include

SadColgate: 1) Teen rage

ThePhantom: Understandable

SadColgate: 2) A general distaste for life

LovelyLavender: Also understandable

SadColgate: And finally

SadColgate: Vengeance

90’sLavaLamp: OH

SpyMaster: Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit 

KingKatsu: Oh shit indeed motherfuckers

KingKatsu:......

KingKatsu: Alright which one of you screamed like a pterodactyl?!

KakashiFusion:... Sorry


7:10 PM

{ KingKatsu and 15 others have logged on}

TheMid2000’s: I always knew that you two teaming up would be terrifying

TheMid2000’s: Your combined spite is too much for the world to handle

KingKatsu: Well considering you all sent Hagekure to go 007 on us

KingKatsu: I think our spite is extremely fucking valid

SadColgate: Not to mention the fact you tried to get a selfie

SadColgate: Off my phone

90’sLavaLamp: In our defense

90’sLavaLamp: The picture was cute as fuck

SadColgate: And in my defense

SadColgate: I don’t care

The1TailedBeast: Ah shit we’re gonna die

KingKatsu: Bitch you ain’t getting that luxury

KingKatsu: Nah you’re living through this shit

ThePhantom: Truly an awful punishment 

KingKatsu:...........

KingKatsu: BirdLord let me be dramatic you asshole

SadColgate: Does anyone have anything else to say before we start our Vengeance?

SadColgate: Excuses and pleas to your gods are permitted

TheMid2000’s: Jesús fucking Christ

JustDissapointed: I have something to say Todoroki

JustDissapointed: I told you all that spying on them was too far

JustDissapointed: I. TOLD. YOU.

SadColgate:...... Are you done, man?

JustDissapointed: Yes, that is all

JustDissapointed: I will take your punishment with grace

SadColgate: You’re a good man IIda

SadColgate: A good man

SadColgate: Anybody else? 

TheGreenCareBear: Yes, I’d like to plead childhood reminiscence, your honor

SadColgate:......

SadColgate: Explain

TheGreenCareBear: Well I was against the idea at first, as I know both of you can be human firecrackers some times, but then

TheGreenCareBear: Then I saw Kacchan smiling

The1TailedBeast: Are we going on the feels train?

TheGreenCareBear: I haven’t seen him genuinely smile since we were seven, and he was holding CopyCat! It was adorable 

TheMid2000’s: I think we are, hold onto your luggage 

TheGreenCareBear: And I knew my mom would love to see Kacchan happy again so

TheGreenCareBear: I sent her the picture

KingKatsu: You sent it to auntie

TheGreenCareBear: Yes

KingKatsu:...... What’d she say

TheGreenCareBear: Generally it was a bunch of tears and a million heart emojis

TheGreenCareBear: But she did say she’d been missing your smile

DesignatedDecorater: BRUH

PikaPretty: My HEART

PikaPretty: Oh my god I’m crying

KingKatsu:... Did

KingKatsu: Did she show my mom?

TheGreenCareBear: Nope, she printed it off for our scrapbook and then deleted it

90’sLavaLamp: Wait, what 

TheGreenCareBear: I think she got tears on the pages

90’sLavaLamp: What scrapbook

TheGreenCareBear: So I'm sorry, for spying on you

TheGreenCareBear: I just...I missed seeing you so openly happy

KingKatsu: You!

KingKatsu: Jesus fuck why can’t I stay mad at you anymore

TheGreenCareBear: Kacchan?

KingKatsu: Fuck! Alright

KingKatsu: Todoroki, can we pardon this dumbass?

The1TailedBeast: Pardon? 

TheMid2000’s: He can do that?

The1TailedBeast: I guess so, also why do I feel like we’re under the rule of a cruel monarchy?

KingKatsu: Cause you are

KingKatsu: Todo?

SadColgate: Well

SadColgate: Midoriya seems genuinely sorry for having to go that far, so

SadColagte: I'm not against it Baku

KingKatsu: Okay, that’s one less person to traumatize

The1TailedBeast: Well I'm terrified again

KingKatsu: Deku do you want to get off the punishment couch?

TheGreenCareBear: I am

TheGreenCareBear: So okay with that

TheGreenCareBear: Can I sit with you and Todoroki?

SadColgate: Sure

SadColgate: Just bring your own throne Midoriya


7:15 PM

{SadColgate and 15 others have logged on}

SadColgate: I was kidding

SadColgate: Midoriya I was fucking kidding

TheGreenCareBear: Well I wasn’t

KingKatsu: We will address Deku’s All Might throne later

KingKatsu: Probably In therapy lets be honest

KingKatsu: Now it’s time to get this party started

PikaPretty: I'm afraid

PikaPretty: But mostly curious to see what you’ve come up with

LovelyLavender: I'm betting on a battle royal

PikaPretty: That's a logical choice, I was thinking waterboarding though

LovelyLavender: Oh, that’s a good one Kami

TheMid2000’s: Hey, Sherlock, and Watson?

TheMid2000’s: Do you mind not giving them any more fucking ideas

SadColgate: My notes on torture are weeping because of you Jirou

SadColgate: Weeping I say

SadColgate: Moving onto your punishment

SadColgate: You’ll be happy to know that we are not going to hurt you, my friends

TheMid2000’s:......

TheMid2000’s: Thank all the gods of Olympus 

PikaPretty: We live another day

CrocsAreValid: I honestly thought you’d dunk us in an ice bath from hell

The1TailedBeast: Same

KingKatsu: You didn’t let him finish minions

KingKatsu: We’re not gonna hurt you

KingKatsu: Physically

The1TailedBeast:

TheMid2000’s:

CrocsAreValid:

PikaPretty: 

90’sLavaLamp:...They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

The1TailedBeast: For the love of god just tell us what it is already

KingKatsu: This is a dramatic retelling of my fanfiction

KingKatsu: The Strength in Embers

KingKatsu: Which I posted as an angry baby so strap in motherfuckers

TheGreenCareBear: OH MY GOD 

TheGreenCareBear: YOU’RE?

TheGreenCareBear: OH HELL

TheGreenCareBear: Y E S

LovelyLavender:..... Okay

LovelyLavender: @TheGreenCareBear what the fuck was that?

TheGreenCareBear: Pure

TheGreenCareBear: J O Y

TheGreenCareBear: Out of all of Kacchans fanfics this one is my favorite

LovelyLavender: You read

LovelyLavender: His fanfiction

TheGreenCareBear: Read it?

TheGreenCareBear: Bitch I edited it

CrocsAreValid: Bro, Somehow

CrocsAreValid: Somehow that’s worse

PikaPretty: This is a shocking turn of event s

BillNye: This is the um

BillNye: AllMight x Endeavor fanfiction Midoriya mentioned before isn’t it?

KingKatsu: You bet your ass it is

BillNye: Oh dear

CuteKakashi: My question is

CuteKakashi: How fucked up is this thing on a scale of

CuteKakashi: Oh shit!

CuteKakashi: To

CuteKakashi: This is the FBI open the Fuck up!

TheGreenCareBear: Oh that’s one question 

TheGreenCareBear: You really shouldn’t have asked him 

KingKatsu: My story has 2000 reviews on Fanfiction.Net

BillNye: Oh dear! The most I ever got was 200...

KingKatsu: It has 1000 bookmarks

KingKatsu: This bitch has won digital awards for its smut scenes

BillNye: Okay now I’m just jealous 

KingKatsu: It is the glory of ALL Endeavor x AllMight forums

KingKatsu: AND is the only fanfiction to hospitalize Endeavor HIMSELF

KingKatsu: What do you think CopyMachine?

CuteKakashi:  We’re In Danger 

KingKatsu: Todoroki you ready to start reading it?

SadColgate: I was born ready

KingKatsu: Fuck yeah, I’ll start typing

BillNye: Bakugou sweetie

BillNye: Why are you putting it in the group chat if Todoroki is just gonna read it out loud?

KingKatsu: So you’ll have nowhere to escape if you all try to plug your ears

BillNye: Oh!

KingKatsu: Also because We want you to suffer every time you read the chat

DesignatedDecorater: Oh

KingKatsu: We’re starting bitches so pick your fucking poison


7:25 PM

{KingKatsu and 15 others have logged on}

KingKatsu: Enji was transfixed as he stared across the training field. His eyes devoured the sight of his rival, every punch sent a thrill down his spine.

The1TailedBeast: Why is this written so well

KingKatsu: Enji was enraptured, his rival had been training for two hours non stop.

His skin was shimmering with sweat, but that annoying smile never left his face.

KingKatsu: Not even when he was burying his face into Enji’s shoulder, biting him.

KingKatsu: Claiming him

PikaPretty: Oh sHIT

KingKatsu: “ I'm sorry Enji, do you need the field?”

KingKatsu: Endeavor snapped back to reality, his breaths turning into small gasps.

KingKatsu: AllMight had crossed the small distance between the two, and was standing above him. Smiling with the ever-present Twinkie in his eye

CrocsAreValid: I still can’t believe Midoriya helped write this 

KingKatsu: How could he act so nonchalant, when he knew what the sight of him had done to Enji last time? Endeavor shuddered at the memory, of what this man had turned him into.

Every whimper and moan ran through Endeavors head, as he looked into sky blue eyes

KingKatsu: “No, I don’t. I was just checking on the competition” Enji huffed, as he attempted to regain even an ounce of his composure.

KingKatsu: AllMights smile grew, as he leaned down. His mouth brushing against Enji’s right ear.

KingKatsu: “ Are you sure you weren’t just checking me out...Kitten?”

90’sLavaLamp: STOP 

KingKatsu: “Don’t you dare call me that, while you’re just standing there.. staring at me!”

90’sLavaLamp: DO NOT PASS GO

KingKatsu: “Enji... Would you rather me be doing something else, perhaps this?

90’sLavaLamp: GIVE THE BANK 200 DOLLARS YOU BASTARD

KingKatsu: “A-ah! Please, d-Don’t.....”

90’sLavaLamp: N O O O

KingKatsu: “Don’t what kitten? You’re gonna have to tell me”

90’sLavaLamp: PLEASE

KingKatsu: P-Please Don’t stop~”

90’sLavaLamp: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KingKatsu: Todoroki if you don’t stop laughing I swear we are never gonna finish this chapter

SadColgate: I'm sorry! It’s just Mina’s reaction is cracking me up.

SadColgate: Plus, imagining my father making heart eyes at anyone is hilarious

KingKatsu: That’s Understandable

KingKatsu: Considering he has no soul in real life 

KingKatsu: Wanna switch?

SadColagte: Please

KingKatsu: Alright, hand me the paperback

SadColagte: Bless You

SadColagte: Alright you guys, ready to finish chapter three?

The1TailedBeast: Kind of

DesignatedDecorater: Kill us now


8:00 PM

{SadColgate and 14 others have logged on}

SadColgate: Enji panted, squirming as a strong arm held him against his lover's chest. The other arm was busy creeping up his inner thigh.

SadColagte: Thick fingers drew invisible patterns into his skin, almost sweetly. Which contrasted from the wicked words being purred into his ear.

SadColagte: “ Really baby, you expected me to be patient when you wore those pretty red panties just for me?”

SadColagte: Enji whimpered, averting his eyes shyly. He’d hoped his choice of underwear would distract AllMight, from the many women who threw themselves at his lover whenever he came to the police station.

The1TailedBeast: They’re gonna get caught by captain Hugh

TheMid2000’s: They are screwing in his office

TheMid2000’s: Of COURSE THEY'RE GONNA GET FUCKING CAUGHT

PikaPretty: Oji, Jirou, we can all tell that you’re invested in the story

PikaPretty: And that’s concerning

90’sLavaLamp: Concerning is an understatement

SadColgate: “ Who says I wanted you to be patient with me....”

SadColgate: Enji purred grabbing his lovers hands and moving them to his sides. As he moved to a better position, in his lap. AllMight paused, as he felt a distinct shape in his lover's lacy panties

SadColagte: “Is that.... oh you naughty kitten!”

SadColagte: AllMight grabbed Enji by the thighs ( ignoring the huff he got for his troubles) and settled him onto the captain's desk.

SadColagte: After laying him out on the desk, AllMight growled. His lover's beautiful legs were curled inward, hiding. That situation was quickly rectified

SadColagte: By spreading his legs himself

90’ sLavaLamp: Hello 911? Yes I need you to call in the Father

90’ sLavaLamp: The Son

90’ sLavaLamp: AND the Holy Spirit up in this bitch

90’sLavaLamp: Cause we need Jesus


10:20 PM

{KingKatsu and 13 others have logged on} 

KingKatsu: Enji smiled as his lover stood before him, no longer as his rival but as his equal. His beautiful blue eyes were cloudy with tears, and yet the largest smile Enji had ever seen adorned his face.

KingKatsu: “ I do”

KingKatsu: And with that Enji threw himself forward, ignoring the thunderous clapping, as he kissed AllMight.

KingKatsu: His husband.

KingKatsu: Now were done ya bastards

90’sLavaLamp: I’ve never been happier in my life, then I am right now

90’sLavaLamp: Knowing I never have to hear any more of this story

CrocsAreValid: Me too Mina

CrocsAreValid: Me too

PikaPretty: Jirou I swear if I bring my head out from my hands and see you googling the rest of these fanfics

 

PikaPretty:Î̶̧̱̬̲͇͕̞̞̪̓̓͑̄͌͐͛ ̴̮̥̞̠̗̩̜͕̉̎̆̿̕w̴̡̹̠̗̼̠̞̞̦͎̞͙͉̪̗̲͓̞͎͚̭̋̋͑i̴̧̜̦̱̫̮̖̲͎̣̪̣̳͙͇̬͍̮͚̟͚̅̈́͌̏̈́͑́̈͋̄̈̏͊͛̂͌̽̕͜͜͝l̶̨̧͓̥̯͍̳̥̬͖̖̍͐̿̆̈͜͝͠ͅͅĺ̴̡̝̺̣͍̫̐͗͌́͘͘ ̷͈̮̬̻̬̈́̔͋͊̒̀f̶̢̨̨̱̹͚̟̜̘̹̺̝͔̭̝̩̉̉̏̄͊͂͆̐̇͆̕͠ų̷̧̛̺̯̥͚̼̜͇̺̄̎̐̍͊̐̅̆̅̈͆͗̌͜c̸͍̮͓̖̟̭͙̖͒̈́͆̌͛̇͂͐̕k̶̡̤̝̹̼͕͖̮͎̜̩͇̼̭̤̜̰͙̈́̈́͒̿̃̓̓̉͑̅́̎̓̽̄̿̀̕͘͜͠͠i̶̢̡̖̝͎̹̽̎̓̏́̓̉̑̔̃̄̈̏̈́̍͜͝n̸̨̢̫̗̲͔̥͉̑̓̑͒͠g̸̨̹̦̣̮͎̝͓̣̓́́̚͘ ̸̨̻̩̑́̇̾͌̏̄͐̌͌̅̇͋̚͝k̴̢̯̝̖͓̘͕̮̾̂̌̓́͆̌͋̀͛̽̈́̌̐͘͘ī̶̩̼̘̯͕͉̗̦̳̹͙͖͌̑̈́̍̓̔̔̏̓̉̓̽̇̇̍̽͘͜ļ̸̛̣͖̯͐̂̄͑̔̌̽̃̑̍͑̓̕͜l̷̨͔̟̤̙̻̱̲̝̥͋͊͑̊͛̇̄̾̓̚̕͠͝ ̷̩̹̥̤͔̪͎̫̻̖̭̺̠͓͚̜̺͒̆͊̂̈́̒͑̅̐͊͘̚͜ͅͅy̶̻̲̪̍̆͂̾̍̃̐̀̓͆̎͑́ơ̴̫͓̞̭̘̬̟͍̘̤̭̜͕̥̬̊̈́̇̆̃͑͑̐̑̍͋̾͑̆́̂͑͘͝͝͝ͅͅũ̸̡̧͍̮̥͇̞̬̺̜̱͈̝̠̳̦̈́̐͋͘͘

 

 

TheMid2000’s: Try me

TheMid2000’s: I'm already dead inside

PikaPretty: The inside is gonna match the outside if you don’t put that search bar away so help me god 

TheGreenCareBear: Kacchan, that reminds me of that one reviewer!

KingKatsu: The bastard who kept hating himself for reading it?

TheGreenCareBear: Yup! Geez I can’t remember his username for the life of me

KingKatsu: I think it was EndeaVOURBby67 or maybe 63?

DesignatedDecorater: It was what

SadColagte: I think I’ve laughed more today than I ever have before in my life

SadColagte: I love this day

KingKatsu: Same, we should team up more often

SadColgate: Do you wanna team up tomorrow by sending the last two Fanfics to my father's email

SadColagte: He gets out of the hospital at noon~

KingKatsu:......

KingKatsu: Fuck yes Shouto you beautiful bastard 

DesignatedDecorater: I can’t tell if that’s a murder plan or a marriage proposal

CuteKakashi: Terrifyingly enough

CuteKakashi: I think it’s both


Our High School Guidance Councilors Would Be So Disappointed GC

TUESDAY

8:45 AM

{ IHateYouAll and 3 others have logged on}

IHateYouAll: Can anyone tell me why Dabi 

Is laughing on the couch

IHateYouAll: It’s disturbing

BPositive+: Aww I think it’s nice

BPositive+: He hasn’t laughed this hard since Endeavor got hospitalized

MagicMan: He's supposed to be reviewing the surveillance footage we got from Class 1A’s dorms last night

IHateYouAll: Why’d you only get last nights surveillance? I doubt a single night will do us any good

MagicMan: Shigaraki do you know how hard it was to even get one video?

MagicMan: I had to destroy my own bug before they caught me

BPositive+: To translate

BPositive+: Son you try doing my job before you start bitching

IHateYouAll: Not only have you enraged me

IHateYouAll: You’ve also managed to make Dabi laugh even harder

IHateYouAll: SoOO

BPositive+: Sooo??

IHateYouAll: I'm taking down your Precious Izuku posters

BPositive+: G A S P

BPositive+: SHIGARKI NOOOO

IHateYouAll: Shigaraki Yes

MagicMan: Update

MagicMan: Dabi actually was reviewing the surveillance footage

IHateYouAll: What’d he find

BPositive+: Better yet why was he laughing while watching it?

MagicMan: Well

MagicMan: let's just say we should add psychological torture to Bakugou Katsuki’s folder

IHateYouAll:........

IHateYouAll: Tell Dabi to rewind the tape, I want to watch that fucking thing

BPositive+: I'm coming too! It can be a movie night

BPositive+: I just gotta get the popcorn!

IHateYouAll: Toga........

IHateYouAll: I have questions

BPositive+: So does the dead lady at the grocery store <3

IHateYouAll:

IHateYouAll: My questions have been answered