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The Blood Gulch Rap: Leonard Church

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The Blood Gulch Rap

Featuring Pvt. Leonard L. Church

My name is Leonard L. Church
I'm a sniper without a perch
And if you see me without my helmet
My face'll make your heart lurch!

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"

Got a question? I'll set you straight
I used Doc DuFresne as purple bait
And when it comes to the Blood Gulch troopers
It's Caboose and Tucker that I hate

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"

I used to date that psycho, Tex
The chick who likes to step on peoples' necks
That stupid bitch blew up my body
Not like I can get another at the fucking NEX!

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"