On a long airplane ride on the way to America, Changkyun can't keep still and it's bothering Kihyun who sits beside him. He's nervous about his English and they haven't even gotten there.
"If your seat squeaks one more time, I'm gonna take my belt off and strap you to the seat with it."
"Sorry. Jeez. Why don't you have headphones anyway if you're studying?"
"Because I leant them to Hoseok. Get them back for me if you think that'll solve my problem. Or just chill out. I know why you're nervous, and as always you have no reason to be."
Changkyun scrunches his nose. He doesn't really believe Kihyun's encouragement. He knows that no matter what he does, he still messes up words. Words he knows even, like saying "awarld" instead of award, or "wortool" instead of world tour. It makes him feel like an idiot when he monitors the crap that comes out of his mouth. Kihyun shushing him while he tries to read his university material is only stressing him out more. He has his own work to do; on top of the beats he promised Jooheon he'd look at. On top of the rap he promised to compose for an upcoming special stage. And then there's the stuff the PR department sent him to read over before he does any English interviews this week. Ugh. He wants to bury his head in the sand, just for a while. Even though doing that makes him even more nervous and it makes him feel like his pants are too tight and his sweater is too itchy and his feet are too crossed, or not crossed enough when he uncrosses them, and finally Kihyun puts a hand on his jittery knee and tells him, "Go fish through Hoseok's clutch for my headphones please..."
It startles Changkyun out of whatever his mind had been pondering and he nods. "Yeah. Yeah, ok. It's a reason to stand up, I'll be back." So he unbuckles his seatbelt and steps carefully around the tray where they have drinks—needs to not knock anything over, because in his state he's more likely than usual to cause havoc.
Hoseok unfortunately wakes up from his nap when he senses someone peeping through his bag. Changkyun had hoped to be stealthy enough that the elder wouldn't notice, but alas, today is not Changkyun's lucky day. And of course, no one can forget that the best Hoseok on an airplane is a sleeping Hoseok. He's really sad to have messed this one up: Hoseok's debilitating fear of heights extends to flying, to some extent—not enough to warrant medication, but enough that everyone knows he needs to just sleep for as long as possible, otherwise his nerves take over and he starts arm-curling soda cans and other strange distraction devices to try to keep his cool under pressure.
When Hoseok's eyes meet Changkyun's, they're blown wide in some unknown fear and Changkyun reaches to hold his hand immediately. "Shit. Sorry I woke you. Are you ok?"
"H-how long—what time is it?" Hoseok asks him, but he's obviously distracted. Changkyun has seen this mood from him before: he's trying to act like he's fine but Changkyun knows he's freaking out on the inside. So he stands from where he'd been crouching in the aisle and shuffling through the bag (where he still hadn't found the earbuds), and while still grasping Hoseok's hand, hovers over him to create a more comfortable, closer, environment for the elder. He runs fingers through his hair softly to calm him further and Hoseok closes his eyes to keep himself grounded in Changkyun's comfort.
"My mind is a mess too," Changkyun says quietly, tries to not wake another of his members, or another passenger. Good thing it's Hyungwon sleeping next to Hoseok—he won't wake even if the plane crashes.
Ugh. There goes Changkyun's perfectly-timed imagination. It's probably the worst possible random thought to have creep into his head considering that it's one of Hoseok's greatest fears. It's like Hoseok can read his mind too, because he's holding the younger's hand in a vice-grip.
"Should I stay with you?" Changkyun offers.
"Stay. Thank you," Hoseok nods, and Changkyun places his bottom on the elder's lap precariously. His legs are dangling over the arm-rest and into to aisle while both his arms are now wrapped around Hoseok's shoulders, and Hoseok keeps him close in return, curling his head into Changkyun's chest. "I had a terrible dream actually. I'm almost glad I'm awake now."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really," Hoseok mumbles in reply. But then he sighs and says, "It was about my high school days. I made someone feel like crap back then, before I learned better. But I felt that hurt right now... I still feel it." Hoseok sighs. "I was such an ass." There's a glassy look to his eyes when they meet Changkyun's again.
"You're a different person now. It's ok," the younger tries to say.
"—But I'm not," Hoseok interrupts. "I was a dick to someone who used to parade all my own insecurities all in the open. I hated it."
"That one friend of yours?"
"Have I talked to you about her before?"
"Not the whole story."
Hoseok nods. "Ok. That's ok," he says. "Then never mind."
And those words make Changkyun stiffen like he suddenly doesn't belong in Hoseok's lap or in his inner circle. And maybe he belongs back in Korea also, not as the English-language spokesperson for their group. He doesn't deserve that kind of responsibility if he can't even say things right to one person. Of course Hoseok also feels how Changkyun retreates back into his shell. How his hands become lifeless around his neck, how he's suddenly pretending that he's not uncomfortable being so close. And Hoseok groans. "You know that's not what I meant. I tell you everything."
Changkyun smiles and nods as well as he can. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. I know that. Don't worry about me. Just tell me if your legs are falling asleep and I'll go back to my own seat."
The younger is avoiding eye contact when Hoseok tries to hold his gaze again, to show how he really cares, and that this one thing from his past isn't connected to how they let the youngest into their group as the last addition. Changkyun belongs with the rest of the members, but this poor silly boy keeps doubting himself.
The elder squeezes the younger's thigh, to try to reassure him in some physical way that it's all ok. Really.
And then they hear a random loud snoring sound from Jooheon, who's sleeping right in front and it whips Hoseok back into his fear of heights—his fear of flying as well.
"Don't leave," Hoseok says, and he pulls Changkyun even closer to him, needs someone closer, needs his comfort, until he slips accidentally and elbows him harshly in the belly and Changkyun groans in mild pain. "Sorry," Hoseok mumbles. "Can you stay?" He's ashamed to ask louder.
"If you want."
It doesn't sound convincing. They both need each other but they're pulling apart, and before that happens, Hoseok needs to crawl under his skin—needs to hold him closer.
"Why are you breathing so heavy?" Changkyun asks him. "You ok? Can I get you a Cola? Or a tea maybe, would be better?"
Changkyun looks down the hallway then and sees a set of flight attendants about to start some kind of service; the trolley is right at the head of the aisle. "I need to go soon anyway. The trolley will bump into my legs."
Hoseok cranes his neck to see what the younger is seeing and replies, "Then come to the toilets with me." It's impulsive.
"You want a smaller space?"
"Yeah. Come," Hoseok nods and they scramble off of each other to stand up. Then Hoseok nudges Changkyun to the toilets, and luckily one of the cubicles is free, and they slip inside together. Hoseok slaps down the toilet lid and sits down almost immediately so that Changkyun can have room to turn and lock the door behind them.
"Breathe," Changkyun tells him.
"Sit with me," Hoseok says, and pulls him by the hand until Changkyun straddles his lap, sits comfortably on his thighs. He pulls Changkyun's arms up so Changkyun can wrap them around his shoulders and Hoseok is so thankful. "Stay. I didn't mean to say anything bad to you. I just don't want to make you think less of me. Sometimes I think that with you I can start over and be who I want to be. So I'm sorry."
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"I did. And not just to you," Hoseok sighs, and breathes heavily into the younger's shoulder as he holds him close. It's as if there's an anvil on his chest, constricting his lungs, pushing his heart up into his throat. "She used to date my supposed girlfriend. I had such a love-hate relationship with that—"
"—You don't need to tell me."
"Would you hate me if I told you why?"
Changkyun looks down at him, straight in the eyes, and he doesn't understand. "I don't see why I would ever hate you. You don't have that many skeletons in your closet as you think."
Hoseok bites his lip, eyes glittering, mind half here and half immersed in the guilt inside his own head. "I—I wanted to date her instead because she was a guy. You know my friend who was actually a girl? Yeah. She was so—" and then he stops himself. He's said too much. Changkyun's eyes have gone wide.
"Are you trying to tell me something big, or just some passing fancy?"
"Maybe some of both. Isn't it the same thing anyway?"
Changkyun thinks about it. Ponders what Hoseok is trying to say. It's vague. And it definitely doesn't make Changkyun hate him. "And actual guys?"
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know. Do you hate me?"
"I don't see why I would." Changkyun's eyes go soft. Aren't these just small problems when compared to the dread they face daily? Media, stalker fans, company worries, legal issues, deadlines, practice schedules from hell... Actually, he still doesn't understand what Hoseok is so worried about. He cards his fingers through Hoseok's hair to ease both of them. "What are you worried about anyway?"
"I don't know."
"Is this another of your non-fears like heights and popping sounds? Where there's nothing to actually worry about? Are you blowing it out of proportion?"
Hoseok bristles, fingers on Changkyun's waist digging into his flesh in his selfish anger—he's not exaggerating. He shouldn't feel random attraction to boys. He shouldn't be stifling it even when he does, but he can't not repress it. Actually, it's almost never that he feels this way—he feels confident saying he's straight. Just maybe not 100%. 98%? He hates the last 2% and how much he wants to explore that last little part of himself. It's there. He can ignore it because it's not big, but he still knows that many things in his life are affected by that 2%.
And it's probably the worst time in the world for Changkyun's face to inch closer to his. It was probably unintentional. Still, Hoseok's natural reaction is to push him away, almost to the edge of his knees, so that Changkyun has to grasp tight to Hoseok's shoulders so to not end up on the floor.
"Hoseok," Changkyun reprimands and moves back closer. "What are you thinking? You have nothing to worry about. I don't know why you look like the world is ending—Shit—I'm sorry. I say stupid things."
He doesn't want to pique Hoseok's fear of flying; he's jittery enough while Changkyun can't seem to stop saying the wrong thing. Enough that he wants to cry. Hoseok is trying to say something and he doesn't understand what—knows he's standing in his own way. He's always his own damn roadblock. So it's a silent plea when Changkyun comes even closer: Please let me understand; I want to understand.
"I don't get what you're trying to say... but please don't hold it against me that I don't understand. It's my fault. Tell me again and I promise everything will be ok." When that sounds a little too confident, he amends, "I hope," and smiles shyly at the elder.
"It was just a crush. It's nothing."
"And you remembered it in a dream?"
"Yeah." Hoseok nods, and buries his face in Changkyun's shoulder because he's embarrassed about what he's admitting to.
"You liked a boy?" Finally Changkyun asks.
Hoseok doesn't reply but they finally understand each other.
"Is that scary to you?" Again Hoseok leaves the question unanswered but it's enough. It's almost rhetorical anyway. "It's not scary to me," Changkyun smiles when he catches Hoseok's shy gaze. Finally he can do something right because Hoseok looks timid, but also anxious in a hopeful way. Like he's getting something off his chest.
"I feel stupid and you're right, I'm blowing it out of proportion. It was so long ago."
"I think it's just airplane nerves getting to you," Changkyun states. "I feel like my mind is in a blender today too."
Hoseok makes a grunt of affirmation. "Thanks," he whispers, but he means it. He's just still too shy to speak louder.
Changkyun's fingers in his hair end up on his jaw then, petting down his neck, and his lips kiss Hoseok's cheek softly. "I didn't do anything."
And Hoseok feels good until Changkyun kisses his cheek again, letting his lips linger on his skin for longer this time. And this kiss is imperceptibly closer to his mouth.
"I think you're so cool," Changkyun says into his skin. As if they're 5 and being cool was an actual compliment you pay to someone. A few moments drag on before he says something more potent. "Have you kissed a boy before?"
"No. I only kissed her," Hoseok answers.
"It does? Oh." Hoseok's lip ends up bitten in between his teeth—does that really count? Shit. He doesn't like the sound of that. Changkyun's lips don't even leave his face anymore, his nose practically digs into the hollow of Hoseok's cheek and that feels like he's carving the betrayal into him.
Hoseok can feel the next words being formed into his cheek; "I think that's pretty sexy actually."
What the fuck, Changkyun?!
This makes Hoseok panic; and at the same time, blood rushes south on his body, and it scares him even more. He can feel his fingers prickle as if stung where they grip Changkyun's waist... it's too hot between them. Maybe the aircon isn't working in this toilet cubicle.
That's not the real reason for his heartrate but he'll tell himself that's what it is, so that he doesn't "misinterpret" Changkyun's cavalier words. The youngest just gives strange compliments. It's how he is. That's how he's always been. Except Changkyun's lips are about a centimeter from his own, and he can feel his breath against his own; and he doesn't want to think anything corrupt, but maybe they shouldn't be this close if this is the subject they're discussing.
"Hoseok..." Changkyun whispers on his skin.
Hoseok lets out a light "Mmm?" sound.
"Can I stay in your lap like this?"
"Do you want to stay?"
"I want to stay..." Changkyun breathes. And Hoseok can't help squeeze his waist tighter. It makes Changkyun want even more. More what? "I—I want..." And he kisses Hoseok's cheek again, not that his lips were more than a millimeter away anyway.
"...What? I'll give you anything you want."
Changkyun pets down Hoseok's neck, slipping his fingers under the collar of his shirt. "Am I being weird? I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I just want to drown in you."
"Are you lonely?"
"I can stay with you this week?" Hoseok offers. He wants Changkyun to agree, so it's more of a statement. "Teach me some English maybe? I'll try to remember."
"You always say that."
"I forget easily."
"But don't forget m-me though. Please." Hoseok can't see his face, but the younger's voice breaks in the middle of that sentence and it feels like he's about to cry; he can even feel Changkyun tremor in his hands and so he runs them up his back to calm him down. He feels pain radiating off the male in his lap.
"Changkyun... what's wrong? I made a bad mood. I'm sorry."
"Not your f-fault. Thank you for talking to me." Changkyun sniffles and moves his face to Hoseok's neck, like he wants to hide there. "Sorry for saying weird things to you..." Changkyun admits.
It feels suddenly like they both might want something that they're holding back from.
It feels like minutes go by while Changkyun forgets his worries in Hoseok's neck and Hoseok soothes warm hands up and down his back. And then Changkyun's lips land on Hoseok's neck and the kiss lingers. "You smell so good."
Really, it's just another way for Changkyun to express how he wants to eat his friend. There are just some times when he wants to be so close to someone that he wants to be part of their body or vice versa and he ends up biting them harshly to try to make that happen. Changkyun's teeth sink into the muscle of Hoseok's neck—he clamps down on him but it happens gradually, like slow motion, deeper until he's near to breaking skin. It hurts but it hurts less because it's not sudden. Slow makes it bearable and Hoseok tilts his neck to give the younger more access. The slight pain of it feels good. It's sobering, the weight of sharp teeth digging into his flesh, lips spread taught on his skin, the heat of Changkyun's mouth, humid breath on his neck, heating him up, making common sense fly away. This is weird, but it feels good. Changkyun's bite ends with a swirl of tongue, leaving a large wet patch on his neck, and teeth marks, and Hoseok shudders at the feeling. This was arousing to him—Shit.
His exhale is ragged and it's obvious Hoseok had liked that too much. This doesn't deter the younger however, it makes him want to do it again. So he does. Teeth land sharp in Hoseok's neck again, not far from his first bite, as his nails dig into his shoulders too, and Hoseok trembles from this—this is dangerous. He's been bitten by Changkyun many times before, usually the younger picks to munch on his meaty biceps, but his neck is so sensitive that it's driving him up a wall. He wants him to stop... actually, he wants him to keep going. He wants that tongue to stay on his skin, wants more licks. He moans lightly when he feels Changkyun's bite ease up, and then he feels his tongue again: the younger leaves a flat wet stripe up his neck, bottom lip and bottom teeth dragging behind... "Fuck," Hoseok whimpers.
"Can I?" Changkyun asks. His face is still buried, hot breath heavy on the elder's neck.
"Yeah?" It sounds more like, why?
"This is so calming..."
"That's why you bite?"
"Hoseok," Changkyun murmurs. "Can I...?" He kisses Hoseok's neck this time, seems to lick up some of his own saliva at the same time. "Can I please?"
"I'm shy. Do it for me?"
"You know. Please."
"I don't know."
"I've never... but I want to with you."
"Changkyun..." Hoseok's voice sounds irritated, like a warning, because the younger shouldn't be talking like this. It makes him nervous too. They're on the edge of saying too much. Probably already have.
Except he's moved his wandering hands under Changkyun's shirt, and he's feeling over the soft skin of his back, hot like a heater under the knit pullover, slightly sweaty, and he doesn't want to push Changkyun away. The younger is right, being like this, wrapped in each other is so calming.
There have been many times between them that would count as being intimate: when Changkyun shoves his head under Hoseok's clothing so to soak up his body heat; when the elder traps the younger in his arms as they fall asleep together watching movies; when Changkyun sits behind him after a shower and his back-massages turn into Hoseok giving him a piggyback ride for the next few minutes because Changkyun won't let go. And other times too, when they need comfort and cuddling together is nice, like with all the members. But this time, this between them now, is a bit much. Especially because of the vague "more" they're talking about.
Hoseok knows that Changkyun loves kisses almost more than Jooheon. Both giving and receiving them. When they're in private—because he's more shy than Minhyuk—and he's in a melancholy mood, the youngest is the sweetest, most clingy, koala. Hoseok knows this is the same as that—part of the comfort the youngest craves. He wants to be there for him, wants to give that to him, but there are limits, aren't there?
Changkyun is burying his thoughts in his kisses, laying soft pecks on Hoseok's skin, lightly, all up and down his neck. It was one, two, softly at the beginning, and when Hoseok didn't stop him, he kept going. It's a dozen kisses now. He loves how his lips squish onto the soft surface, loves the scent of Hoseok so close. He moves his mouth up, until his nose is in the base of the elder's hair and inhales. Both inhale and exhale feel like his chest is tight, his breath is staggered; deep and needy, before lips make contact again, right under Hoseok's ear and he's practically panting, vibrating in Hoseok's arms from how much he wants to fall into his body. Hoseok can hear him even above the dull hum of the airplane engines. It's loud inside the toilet stall, the lumbering white-noise of the plane reverberating along the exit shoot and along the teetering metal walls, but Hoseok can hear Changkyun clearly. Can swear he can feel his blood rushing. His body is alive and nearly quaking in his grip, and he pulls him in closer, flush along his own chest. Maybe too close is better than farther. Farther has too much room. Changkyun's lips on his neck can't travel far if they're so close like this.
Hoseok never accounted for Changkyun drawing his ear into his mouth. They were lazy this morning when they got dressed, and so there's no dangly earring from the stylists in Hoseok's ear, just a small ring that clangs against Changkyun's teeth, as his mouth opens to lick more, tongue dragging along the shell. This is too much. Changkyun's breath is hammering in his ear, just like the heart in his chest, he can feel it. The need is radiating off the younger and making Hoseok's nerves pique. God, this is so good, but so dangerous. It's been so long since he's had someone love him this way...
Does Changkyun want to be kissed? Hoseok starts with his temple—this changes their position slightly, giving Hoseok control instead, so Changkyun isn't playing his ear in his mouth anymore—because that had been too much. "Thank you for loving me," Hoseok tells him.
Even though Hoseok's lips are planted in his hair, Changkyun doesn't like this distance between them still; he's trembling with need, wants to get closer to Hoseok's lips, he knows this now... will Hoseok please just let him? "Please," he whines. Just kiss me now. This moment feels so right. He wants that connection and it doesn't matter what it means, he just wants it. Ever since Hoseok had started talking today, a craving to crawl closer has latched into his heart, making it pound wildly. He loves when his members open up to him. His heart is theirs anyway. Hoseok telling him illicit secrets excites him, makes him want what he's talking about. He's almost jealous that someone else got to be so close with his Hoseok. Changkyun is possessive, he can't help it. He needs distance to calm down and remember that they're individuals, they don't actually inhabit the same body and space. But when they're close like this, space doesn't exist. They can only be one. And any distance is insufferable. He has attachment issues, he knows this. But if Hoseok would humor him just once... he wants to melt in his arms. There's a million words describing what he wants right now, but none of them are appropriate to say out loud. If he just stays here, joined together like this, maybe the thoughts will sink into Hoseok's body and he'll understand.
Hoseok is trying to control his heart. It's beating wildly because he can feel need pouring off the younger and he doesn't know how to give him that without crossing lines. So he keeps his lips in his hair, where it's safe but close, and his hands play up his spine, paying attention to each vertebra, making Changkyun squirm even more. He's turned on, the younger doesn't even hide it. His erection has been hardening between them for minutes now, and it rests against Hoseok's abs and he's amazed Changkyun isn't rubbing against him yet. He waits for it in anticipation and realizes he shouldn't want that, but he does. His own is at half-mast and if he gets any harder it'll be noticeable. That's why he's trying to calm down. Needs to keep this light, simple. Breathe deep. Exhale. There's nothing to fear. It's just Changkyun. And this plane is fine. They'll land safely in a few hours.
Safety makes Hoseok more daring though. He knows this about himself. If you give him an inch, he'll take it from you and more. That's why he's fighting with himself. God... Changkyun wants to be kissed. He just knows it.
It's like 3, maybe 4 inches to his mouth... His fingers touch over the small of Changkyun's back and he arches in the elder's grip, digging his erection tighter into Hoseok's belly. Oh god, he's not strong enough to fight this... the young one makes him feel so fucking good. Like a god or something. The minutes drag on between them—it probably hasn't been that long, but it feels like hours. He can hear blood and breath rush in his ears, his heart in his throat. He wants badly to kiss his friend, wants to leave all his nerves behind, wants to be saved...
There are no words that can express this feeling. Changkyun moans softly and nods lightly against him and it's like they're sharing the same mind... Hoseok's lips inch closer, they're on Changkyun's cheek now. Changkyun is still nodding.
Can he do this? Isn't this bad? He can back out. It's ok if he backs out. Nothing has really happened between them. A little closeness is ok, it can be explained.
A kiss is different though. A real one...
Time drags on like it's moving slower.
He swears he can hear both their hearts beating. They're louder than the blaring grind of the airplane engines. "Changkyun?"
"It's ok," Changkyun replies. He's waiting for Hoseok to break first.
Maybe if he was on land he'd be stronger, but he's not and so he's worn thin, not thinking clearly. Forgets willingly that there's a world outside this toilet stall... he pulls away just enough to get Changkyun to look at him, wants to see his eyes. There's so much love in them that Hoseok falls forward, right into his mouth... lets their lips join because it feels good. But Changkyun is more bold and deepens the kiss, moves his lips and stirs Hoseok to join him, grinds into his lap finally and makes needy little noises into his mouth... and Hoseok wants to devour him! Just eat this boy because he's so precious. His hands come up to hold his head, gripping his hair tight, showing his intention—a loss of control, and Changkyun tilts his head in reply, giving open-mouthed, loose kisses; letting his mouth slacken so Hoseok can plunder him at his delight, letting his need pour into this kiss, letting Hoseok take hold and control him. He wants this so much. His tongue edges towards Hoseok's lips because this isn't nearly enough, hopes the elder understands. He whines into Hoseok's mouth because he wants more. It feels like he's teetering on the edge of sanity and he just doesn't care anymore. He wants to fall right off the ledge. And Hoseok wants to steal those breaths from him. Hoseok's tongue meets his and they fall together. Nothing matters anymore. They have privacy and they have each other.
Sense falls away quickly now. Changkyun is moaning raggedly into their kiss. It's heated and wet and sloppy almost, tongues twining together as each fights to get impossibly closer. Changkyun seems desperate to be joined, his fingers crawl down Hoseok's shirt but he can't seem to find enough, he's always pushing forward, stretching out the neck of Hoseok's clothing, and tipping him back to get more leverage over him... wants to grind, wants more friction, wants more heat. Wants to get burned. Hoseok kisses him so hungrily that he wants to give it right back to him. Wants to make him feel so good, just as good, and better. "F-fuck, I love you," Changkyun whines and it sounds completely desperate. It completely melts Hoseok's heart. The youngest is so beautiful when he opens his heart like this and he's never seen it wider. He wants to let him in as well. What was he even hiding from before? 2% is such a small something to be afraid of. Will Changkyun let him do more? If he pushes Changkyun's shirt up like this, is that ok? Can he touch more? Can he show him how much this means to him?
Changkyun pulls his mouth away first, licking his lips as his eyes finally see how wet and kiss-plump Hoseok's lips are as well. They're parted, chest panting, ready to kiss again... and his eyes are smoldering they're so dark for him. "God Hoseok..."
He doesn't know how to say he wants more from now on. Because this has been too much, he can feel the world so far below him; this isn't any kind of reality. They're up among the clouds now. Too much is so good. His brain is mixing up what he knows he shouldn't want with how much he suddenly wants all of it. If Hoseok wants it too then it's ok. They can do this because they're not on the ground, and everything is weightless in the sky. Right? They can come back down to Earth some other time. Right now though... he wants to feel good. "Please..."
"More?" Hoseok asks him.
Changkyun is shivering practically, chest tight, and pelvis feebly trying not to make it too obvious that he's rolling lightly into Hoseok's body, because he shouldn't be doing that. But Hoseok just turns him on so much right now.
"I'm good if you are."
"So this is ok?"
"Do you want to... come?"
Changkyun bites his lip between his teeth, shy to be asked so directly. He didn't think Hoseok would. But since he's said it, then maybe it's ok for Changkyun to roll into him properly. Yes, yes, it feels good... dragging his hard dick over Hoseok's abs feels good. "With you," Changkyun says, and he tries to keep his voice as even as possible so Hoseok knows he's serious. Otherwise, he just falls apart, rutting against Hoseok's body feels like just what he needed, and he can feel Hoseok's equal hardness under him also, and so he tries to drag against both of them, make them both feel good, build up more friction. He's glad Hoseok is being open with him, he wants to make him feel good, wants to show him it's worth it. That Changkyun is worth it and grateful to have him. So he dives back into his mouth—those red lips are too much to just look at, he wants to taste them again, and Hoseok molds into him completely, tongue meeting his, lips forming together, and it makes Changkyun grind down harder, makes him more needy, and itchy and anxious for more. He's whining because this isn't close enough anymore. A minute ago it was perfect but now he's chasing even more. He can't get close enough because there are too many clothes in the way, and his dick feels trapped now. He wants out of his pants and out of all their clothes, and he wants skin, and stretching Hoseok's shirt to shit isn't enough...
Hoseok understands. He pulls Changkyun's shirt right off him. He's tired of hiking it up to feel more, he wants to see more too. Wants to see that pretty blush all down Changkyun's neck, wants to see the sweat shine on his body, and wants to see his hands flush on his skin so he knows this is real, even if they're up in the clouds. He needs this much to hold on to so he doesn't fly away.
Changkyun's arms lift on instinct and fall back down to Hoseok's shoulders when the pullover is removed from him. He shivers but Hoseok wraps him in his arms to warm him up again, runs hot hands all over his back, and then pulls away just enough because he needs to say this to his face:
"You make me feel so good, you know that?" Hoseok says. Changkyun smiles back at him and it lets him move his gaze to Changkyun's exposed chest, nipples hard because of the cool ventilation, and his skin prickling with goosebumps; so Hoseok runs his hands over as much of him as he can, to soothe him, to heat him up. And then back to his eyes again... "You sure this is ok?"
"Do what you want with me." Changkyun's words are so raw and sincere. They always amaze Hoseok, that he can be so honest. It makes his heart beat so fast, just bleeding with love for him, thankful to be loved so much. Changkyun is so sweet.
He tastes his lips again, and pulls his hips into his, to rut together. Changkyun mewls in his arms—he seems to move non-stop actually, never sated, always wanting more from Hoseok. And this time his sounds are tinged with a pitifulness that makes Hoseok wonder why. Changkyun might cry. "What's wrong?"
"Tight..." Changkyun says and pulls away to indicate down to his crotch. "Can I...?"
"Oh," Hoseok realizes. Changkyun has jeans on and that's much more constricting than Hoseok's loose sweatpants. He doesn't even think before popping the botton on the younger's pants and pulling his dick free. He starts pumping it in his hand and Changkyun moans whorishly from it.
"Ohh... oh oh. Oh God... please..." He begs so beautifully that Hoseok wants to grant his every wish.
"What do you need?"
"Y-you," Changkyun replies brokenly. He's pawing at Hoseok's shirt, kneeding it into his flesh practically, and Hoseok gets the hint that he wants more skin. He manuevers a little then; pulls his own shirt right over his head, and shoves his sweats just a little lower so he's able to bring out his own dick too, and Changkyun gapes at his hardness, instantly sliding back forward to join them together, catching them both between their bellies and grinding into Hoseok's body for friction; and kissing back into his mouth, so all they have to do is roll together. And it feels so good. Skin on skin, breathing the same air; it's the kind of intimacy that Changkyun has craved for so long. He didn't know it was going to happen today, didn't know it would happen with Hoseok, but it's here and they can chase this high together. Changkyun grinds down while Hoseok thrusts up and it makes them slide together so well that Changkyun is about to loose his mind. He swears he can come just from this. Hoseok's mouth is hot and wet enough, and the head of his dick bumps up into Hoseok's hard abs and soft skin, and his hardness is right there with him, egging him on, showing him he's not alone.
When he's too wound up that he can't even kiss properly anymore, Hoseok pushes him back and grabs on to both their lengths, to fist them together in one hand, and Changkyun whimpers—"Hold on," Hoseok tells him, and he's rewarded with Changkyun's nails digging into his shoulders, probably leaving small red marks to be seen for the next few days. "Like this?"
Changkyun whimpers again. "A-add spit or something," he says. His voice is ragged and low. Like sex to Hoseok's ears. Fuck, this boy is attractive.
It makes Hoseok grin devilishly, and his gaze whips around their little room. Lo and behold, there's something better than spit right on the sink counter: hand lotion. He barely even needs to reach to get a few pumps of it from the bottle, and when he brings his hand back down to their dicks, it's slippery and wet and Changkyun swears a string of profanities at him, the likes of which he hasn't heard from him ever. "Fuck, I'm gonna come so hard. Just like that."
"Hold on," Hoseok tells him again, this time with a big smile. He kisses Changkyun's lips again, pumping his tight fist over them together, and it makes lewd squelching sounds between them, as if this was sex. And in a way it is, or it's even better, because Hoseok can tell this orgasm will leave him weak in the knees. Having Changkyun here with him is the best. He wants to make him feel good, even better, so he kisses along his neck, because it's long and exposed to him and so inviting; and because Changkyun is closer, he whines brokenly, rutting into Hoseok's hand, begging for more. When Hoseok bites his jugular, he loses it—his voice peaks in a strangled way, heart jumping into his airway and he freezes in time. A vice-like grip on his body deluges him in hot lava—and it's all white in the moment. His body on fire, he can barely breath, and even as he comes down from his high, Hoseok is jerking him dry. His grip on him sticky, his come all over Hoseok's abs when Changkyun looks down, and he falls into Hoseok's mouth to ride out the last of the shocks ravaging his body.
He's never come that well before. "Fuck," he groans, and licks deep into Hoseok's mouth to show his appreciation.
Hoseok wants to tell him how good he looks in the mid of orgasm, but he's still too scared to say something like that. This isn't so much a sex thing as it is a comfort thing, and he's just glad Changkyun is so good to him.
"You too..." Changkyun tells him. You come too. "Do you need anything?"
Taking hold of his own dick, Hoseok fists himself now, rougher than he'd done with Changkyun, as the younger moves hands around his neck, and over his shoulders, and down his chest. Changkyun's touches are hot yet delicate, like licks of fire, burning him before sense can catch up, that's how lost he is in having Changkyun all over. The youngest is at once more careful but more bold in his own aftermath, and touching Hoseok in ways friends don't touch each other. He's not embarassed to rub over Hoseok's hard nipples and he groans along with Hoseok's pleasure as the older falls into his own bliss. He rides out his climax by panting into Changkyun's mouth, letting come splatter onto both their skin. And Changkyun seems to welcome it.
In fact, he touches the very tip of Hoseok's dick afterwards, where he's glistening with hot come. The pad of his index finger presses into his slit deliberately and Changkyun comes up with a dab of wetness. Then he meets Hoseok's eyes and licks that finger openly, tongue flat in full view, so Hoseok can see him taste him, and it's lewd—but the fact that it's so intentional makes Hoseok's heart nearly break for him. God, the youngest doesn't even need to say words to show that raw, sincere quality of his soul. Hoseok smashes their lips together again, needs to show him love, though he's sure this isn't enough. If he could just puke up his heart already and give him that, maybe that would be appropriate, but he can't. He kisses him like his life depends on it, making him light-headed again... he's not over his orgasm yet. His limbs are still tingling, and holding Changkyun, kissing him like this, makes him never want to let go. This feeling is theirs, he hopes. Even if it never happens again, he's glad to have this perfect moment. He'll treasure this. And look back on it fondly.
Changkyun loves him. He pulls back with shaky lips, red and parched, and yet he wishes he could kiss him more. But Changkyun is smiling at him. That shy smile that shows him how much love he holds, and Hoseok gives him one last peck.
"I wanna remember this, ok?" Hoseok says before any prompt.
"Ok," Changkyun beams back. His smile is timid, but his eyes are fierce.
Foreheads pressed together, eyes locked, still sharing the same mingled breath and sticky heat, Hoseok vows with the power of his gaze that he's thankful for this connection.
Changkyun's eyes smile back at him, and finally it feels ok to search for napkins to clean the mess between their bodies.
There's an anxious secret between them now, each time they bump hands or catch each other's eye. They're still between the clouds and the weather is peaceful.
For as long as he can, Changkyun will rest his head on Hoseok's broad shoulder while Hoseok pets down his spine.
Back on the ground, they can blush if the topic ever comes too near to what they've done together, but up here in sky, they can kiss again any time they like.