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McLovin' It

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Hugh Dancy pulled up to the large, red and yellow building - his new job.

“Morning Hugh! Here’s your uniform!” said his manager. Hugh’s acting career has been a bit non-existent at the moment - his last projects have been a Mindy Kaling movie and a few episodes of Robot Chicken. Since The Path and Hannibal was cancelled, things haven’t been the same. Hugh put on the apron, and continued to the back of the restaurant, where he started flipping burgers.

“We’re opening at 9 today, Hugh, so start flippin’ those burgers!” said his manager, a bit too enthusiastically. Hugh never imagined working at McDonald’s - ever - he grew up quite wealthy, and went to Cambridge University. But right now, he’s desperate for pocket money, and Claire is fed up with him. Recently, Hugh has had his eye on a Cartier watch.

Soon enough, 9 am rolls around, and customers start pouring in.

“Hugh, I need you at the drive-thru!!” yelled his manager.

“Hello? Wee-man??” he heard a familiar voice say. He looks out the drive-thru window - Mads Mikkelsen??

“What are you doing here, compadre?” Mads whispers. he sees a glint sadness in Mads’s eyes and a bit of something else he hasn’t seen in a while.....

Compadre ?” said Mads softly.

It was lust….

“M-mads?” Hugh’s voice cracks and a wave of embarrassment washes over him.

“I-i it’s a social experiment!” says Hugh defensively.

“It’s ok wee-man, you know, if you’re short on work, you can come do a movie in Denmark!” he says excitedly. Hugh considers it.

“I-i don’t speak Danish…”

“You don’t need to for the kind of movie i’m doing” says Mads with a wink.

“A silent film??”

“Not when i’m involved?”

Hugh thinks for a second. “O-ok”

He rips off his apron defiantly. “Fuck this, let’s go to Denmark!”

At this point, the drive-through to McDonald’s is backed up, causing traffic jams and angry customers.

“eXCUSE ME? CAN I GET AN ICE CREAM??” yells one angry customer.

“iCE CREAM MACHINE BROKE. YEET” hugh exclaims, and parkours out of the drive-thru window, into Mads’s car.

“Let’s go, amigo!!” Mads says, and they drive off into the sunset.