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D.A.R.L.I.N.G

Chapter Text

 

 A story about; 

• 

Little Namjoon

Kim Namjoon as the cute, adorable, mushy, squishy little nyumjoon

 

That's it. 

 

Oh, wait!

 

AND

 

 

The six obsessive, possessive, protective of the most incredulous handsome Bangtan Boys; Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook. 

• 

Enough of the introduction.

 

Nothing to write.

 

Just read.

 

Lol

 

Uwu.

 

Chapter Text

 


 

"Eomma..."

 

A sob echoed through the phone. The line became silent for a few seconds before there's a loud gasped from the other side. Namjoon holds tight his phone, pressing harder to his ears until it becomes red. He bits his lower lips trying not to cry further.

 

"Oh, my sweet darling...are you a little right now?"

 

Namjoon nods his head before he realized that his mother couldn't see him through the phone. "Hmmm..." he hummed as an answer and starts to sniffle silently.

 

He then averted his eyes to the closed door of his room. Trying to check whether he had locked the door or not. He released a sigh after he is confident that the door had been securely locked.

  

"Oh, what to do? You know I can't be there right?" Mrs. Kim voice strained with worries that she can't be with her son when he needs her the most.

 

"Hmm...Joon...Joonie knows..." he answered with a slurred voice. Getting deeper into the little space.

 

"Ok, darling...take a deep breath and listen to eomma okay?" Mrs. Kim paused for a moment waiting for Namjoon to answer her. "Okay, darling? You have to answer me so that eomma knows you're okay..." she continues.

 

"O-otay..."

  

"Okay. Get your favorite blue blanket, your cute and adorable Ryan then the coloring book...where did you keep them?"

  

Namjoon rolled his eyes while thinking about his mother's instruction. He slowly gets up from the bed and crouched down to the floor - peeking under his bed. He grinned sheepishly when he saw his golden chest. He spread his long arm trying to grab the box.

 

"Joonie darling? Did you find your box?" asked Mrs. Kim when Namjoon didn't give any response.

 

Namjoon huffed in frustration when his long arm is not too long for him to even touch the box. He jutted his lower lips. "Eom-eomma...Joonie can...cannot touch the boxy...too far..."

  

Mrs. Kim chuckles at the complaint. She can imagine how her son is pouting cutely right now. "Oh, it's okay. Do it slowly okay?" she coaxed.

 

Namjoon sighed deeply. He then put the phone on the floor, glanced over the screen to make sure he didn't cut the line unintentionally before he went under his bed and dragged the box.

 

He smiles wider with full satisfaction when he managed to get the box - quickly put the phone to his ears again. "Joonie has it!" he whispers yelled on the phone with excitement.

  

"Okay takes everything I said to you and find your safe place to do the coloring..."

 

"O-otay..." Namjoon opens the box, grab his pastel blue blanket with lots of tiny Koya on it and the coloring book.

 

"At what page have you done it, Joonie?"

 

"Hmmm..." Namjoon gnawed his lips as he flipped the page, looking at a blank page that still not been colored by him. He smiles when he saw all the beautiful color he had made before. "Ah...number...number ten... it's ten eomma!"

 

"Okay...so go to your safe place now darling..." Mrs. Kim further instructed. She can hear the footstep of Namjoon, scurried away as he squeaks happily. A smile curved on her face, feeling relieved that she was able to help Namjoon to deal with his little space even she was not there at his side.

 

Mrs. Kim frowned when she heard Namjoon closed a door. Didn't he in his room? Where is he going actually? Mrs. Kim never knows where is Namjoon's safe place in the BTS dorm and Namjoon himself never tells her about it. He'd been so secretive about that. Which makes her quite suspicious. And concerned, of course.

 

She did realize that none of the BTS members know about her son's little secret. Namjoon was not comfortable to share it with his members, feeling ashamed that as the leader everyone was looking up at him. It is not right for him to show his weak side when everyone is relying on him.

 

"Joonie darling? Can you tell eomma where are you now? The safe place?" asked Mrs. Kim with curiosity at the peek.

 

Namjoon shook his head vigorously but later once again realized that his mother can't see that. He giggled at his stupidity before he answered his mother. "Uh-uh...no tell...it's...it's a secwet... only big Joonie know..."

 

Mrs. Kim sighed. "Okay...let me know that you're okay afterwards, okay?"

 

"Otay!"

 

The call ended instantly. Namjoon put aside his phone. He wrapped his Koya blanket around his shoulder, hugging his Ryan plushy on the left hand and the other hand starts coloring the image of Sailormoon - his most favorite cartoon.

 

"Wyan stay wif Joonie here otay? And...and no noise...look...Joonie makes Sailormoon pwetty!!"

 

Namjoon smiles as he keeps coloring. He starts to sweat because of the tiny space and the air condition won't be able to blast up to his safe place. But he will be fine for a while. But this is the place he's comfortable the most whenever he is in the little space. A place where the members won't find him if they ever came to his room.

 

In his closet.






 

Chapter Text

 


 

It's a fanmeeting today.

  

Namjoon was nervous as lately, he couldn't help himself from regressing. He was too stressed with all the works - composing songs, dance practices, tours, photoshoots etc. He was tired and in need of rest badly. All his body is sore and his muscles are feeling tight.

 

Namjoon can hear all the cheering from the hall. He was getting more nervous while his stylist was doing his hair. He keeps on fiddling with the hem of his sweater. His favorite yellow sweater. He smiles fondly when he thought that it is the gift from his mother.

 

"Hyung?"

 

Namjoon trance was being interrupted by Jungkook's voice. He cocked his head to the side to look at the golden maknae. Jungkook was smiling, showing his cute bunny teeth to Namjoon.

  

"Are you nervous?" Asked Jungkook when the stylist finished doing her job and left the two.

  

Namjoon was taken aback at the sudden question. "Wh-what makes you said that?" He asked nervously.

 

Jungkook grinned. "Well..." He pointed at Namjoon's hand that still playing with his sweater. "You only do that when you're nervous, hyung..." He continued.

 

Namjoon instantly loosens up his hand, trying to hide his anxiousness from the maknae. He didn't want to make him worried about him. Not when he is the hyung and he is the one that should be appeared calm and stronger for his bandmates.

 

"No-nothing Kookie...I'm just thinking about something..." He lied effortlessly.

  

Jungkook frowned. "Hyung...this is a fanmeting only. We'd done these hundreds of times. Nothing to be worried about...So stop thinking too much, okay?"

 

Namjoon flinched when Jungkook put his hand over his and squeezed it lightly. Namjoon stares at Jungkook's hand that laid on top of his, feeling the warmth of it - his heart turn to serene and calm. He smiles fondly at the maknae.

 

"You've matured enough Kookie. We shouldn't call you maknae anymore..."

 

Jungkook pouted at the statement. "No, hyung! I'm still the maknae in this group. Your precious maknae! Don't steal the title from me, please! Not even after I'm sixty years old!!" He whined cutely.

 

Namjoon giggles at the whining. "Kookie.. You're so cute..."

 

Jungkook jutted his lower lips. "You're the cutest hyung!"

  

Namjoon eyes beaming at the compliment as he stares at Jungkook sheepishly. "I am...cute? Really?" His voice becomes thinner as if he was on the verge of regressing to his little space - unconsciously.

  

Jungkook arched his brows when he feels something odd. He gawked over Namjoon that smiling enthusiastly and his face was glowing in excitement waiting for Jungkook to answer him. Jungkook then cupped Namjoon's face, squished his cheek until his lips nozzles like a fish in need of air. Adorably funny!

   

"Yes, you are the cutest baby..." Said Jungkook playfully as he moved his hand on Namjoon's chubby cheek.

  

"Nuuu....nuuu Kookie...don't do that...my cheeks hurt!!" Namjoon whined at the gestures as he makes a grabby hand to remove Jungkook's firm hand over his face.

   

Jungkook let out a boisterous laughed, couldn't content himself at how cute and adorable Namjoon is right now. He squished the chubby cheek like he was doughing the flour for the last time before he let his hand go. He grinned when he saw how the fleshy cheeks now turn to obvious red.

  

Namjoon squinted his eyes towards the maknae while his lips jutted - now sulking. "It's...it's hurt Kookie!" He said while huffing. Obviously sulking and on the verge of regressing to little space further. Namjoon still oblivious to his state. 

  

Jungkook grimaced as he cooed at his hyung aegyo. It's a rare sight for Namjoon to do that, except being forced by the members during their concert or fanmeeting. Namjoon was embarrassed to show such cute gestures - keeps insisting that he didn't suit to do so, not when he is obviously tall and looks manly. He always said that it will be creepy for him to do as such.

 

"Okay...okay...I'm sorry..." Jungkook said even though he doesn't feel sorry at all. Not when he was able to tease the leader and Namjoon looks so freaking cute!

  

Namjoon huffed. "No, you not!"

   

"Hyung...please don't be so sulky. You sounded like a kid..." Whined Jungkook.

 

Namjoon breathe hitched at the remarks. He then realized that he almost falls into the little space unconsciously. He almost exposed himself! Namjoon cursed at his oblivious act, now getting more nervousthann before.

 

He was lucky that the manager had interrupted the conversation asking them to get ready for the fanmeeting. Despite he was able to pull out himself from his little space - Namjoon still worried. He was restless all the times and keeps on playing with the hem of his sweater.

 

Until...

 

A cute girl comes to Namjoon, giving her a genuine smile. Namjoon being happy for her presence, showing her his dimple smile and the girl squeal adorably.

 

"Namjoon-oppa...you're so cute!" She said sheepishly. Too excited that she was able to see her bias in BTS with her own eyes. It was like a dream comes true. She's finally can die in peace. Dramatically true!

 

Namjoon cheeks slowly turn to a tinge of a pink hue. "Thank you..." He said shyly. "Your name?" He asked when the girl shoved him her journal for Namjoon to sign.

 

"Jaehee. Kim Jaehee..."

 

"What a lovely name..." He compliments while he put his signature at the front page of the said journal. He even draws his favorite character - Koya and gives her some encouraging words. As he always did for his fan.

 

Namjoon was taken aback when the girl gives him a paper bag and said that it's her special gift for her favorite oppa. Namjoon peeked through the paper bag before his eyes widen while looking at it. His heart pounded and Namjoon fidgeting from his seat.

 

Jaehee giggles at Namjoon's reaction. "I know how much you like Ryan...that's why I give you this...Can you...can you wear this for me?" She said with a little bit hesitant. Afraid that Namjoon will feel uncomfortable at her sudden request.

 

"Ah...I see...well..."

 

Namjoon bites his lower lip. He took a deep breather before he took out the gift from the paper bag. It was a cute Ryan headband together with a Ryan wristband. Namjoon squeal in his heart looking at how cute the accessories were. His eyes beaming with excitement as he try to fight himself from regressing.

 

"It's...it's cute..." He said, almost whispering while staring at the two items.

 

Jaehee smiles with satisfaction. "Let me help you, oppa..."

 

Namjoon couldn't even have the time to decline when Jaehee took the headband and put it on Namjoon's head carefully. Then, after struggling a little bit to put the wristband over his hand, Jaehee helps him to wear it properly.

 

"Oppa! You look so cute...." She screamed happily when she saw her gifts on Namjoon's.

 

"We...we...emmm..really?" Asked Namjoon a little bit slurred with his speech. On the verge of regressed to little space.

 

"Of course. You're really cute and adorable oppa...like a big baby boy!"

 

Namjoon feels contended at the compliment, giggles shyly as he covers half of his face - a habit whenever he is laughing. He then took out his phone, trying to take a selca. And when he looks at the screen, Namjoon totally forgot that he is at the fanmeeting and everyone is actually watching his antic - cooing how cute he looks right now.

 

"It...it's...pwetty!! Joonie wove it!"

 

 

 

 





Chapter Text


 

"Joonie wove it!!"

"Joon?"

Namjoon cocked his head to the side, where Hoseok is looking at him with furrowed brows. Namjoon frowned before his eyes widen and he realized what he had done. He looks around where the fan cooing over his cute antics - which they thought he had done it for the sake of the fan.

Namjoon eyes become glassy as he stares at Hoseok - lips quiver, almost crying. "Sowie! Joonie sowie! Joonie..." He whispered as his breath starts to hitch.

Hoseok was shocked at the reaction, immediately hold his hand and glanced around to see if someone had noticed the commotion. Hoseok then rose up from his seat, slightly bow and apologize to the fan.

"Sorry, Namjoon suddenly feeling not well." He said hastily as he grabbed Namjoon's hand and dragged the poor leader to the backstage. The other members were flustered at the sudden action, looking at the two with confusion.

Namjoon who had been regressed to the little space fully starts to sobs while he follows Hoseok to the back. He couldn't stop thinking that he had done something wrong and Hoseok is mad. Hoseok looks so serious and Namjoon is afraid.

"Joonie sowie...sowie..." He keeps repeating the same words to Hoseok and he can feel how the grip on his wrist tighten. Namjoon winced in pain and he was devastated that Hoseok had kept walking - ignoring his crying and whimper.

"Sit!"

Namjoon flinched at the cold tone of Hoseok when they reached their fitting room at the backstage. Namjoon slowly moved the couch at the center of the room. He sits and lifted his knees and pressed to his chest as he keeps on crying.

Hoseok had been watching how Namjoon is doing right now - with confusion. He frowned when he saw how Namjoon look so small while he hugged his knees and rocking his own body back and forth on the couch. His heart-stricken at the tears shed by the leader - something that Namjoon rarely did except he was extremely emotional.

"Why...wh-what is going on?" Hoseok asked with exasperation. He had lots of question as to what, why, how, and some cursing words in his head but he knew that he need to be careful right now. He was afraid that he will make the leader become more stressed than he already is.

Namjoon ignores the question, leaving it unattended. Not that he didn't want to answer, he just can't. He was too deep in the subspace and he can't think anything but feeling scared and vulnerable. He thought Hoseok despised him. Hoseok sharp glare makes him shudder that the rapper now hates him for being little.

"Namjoon?"

Namjoon eyes were bloodshot due to the non-stop crying and his face was soaking wet with the tears when he rose his head to see Hoseok. He mumbles something inaudible, drowned with his sniffles and sobs.

"What is it Namjoon?" Hoseok asked.

"Jo...Joonie...wan...wan eomma..." Namjoon said between his sobs and starts to cry louder.

Hoseok eyes widen at the sudden commotion, feeling panic that he didn't know what to do. Then all the members swamp into the room, incredulously shocked to see their leader now crying out loud and Hoseok looks pale - paler than Yoongi.

"What the...what did you do Hobi??" Asked Seokjin in anger as he approached crying Namjoon. When he tried to touch the leader, Namjoon flinched out of fear and Seokjin was flabbergasted at the response. He curled back his hand and turned his body to look at Hoseok with wrath.

"I...I didn't do anything hyung...he was...he was like that when I asked him what's going on...and...and Namjoon is acting really weird!" Explained Hoseok, trying to justify himself from the ordeal.

"Then why he is crying?" Scolds Seokjin as he snarled over Hoseok.

"Did you hit him hyung?" accused Jimin as he peered over Hoseok, giving him the death stares to the said male. He really looks scary when he did that and no one in BTS even dares to go against an angry Jimin.

"Yeah Jimin! Why should I hit him??"

"Then what did you do to Joon-hyung? He was fine until you dragged him here!" Jungkook voiced out his opinion to Hoseok.

Hoseok gulped as everyone started to circle him and asking him what had happened to Namjoon. Namjoon from the couch, watching the whole situation with fear.

Why everyone is talking too loud? Did he do something wrong? Did everyone hate him now? Did everyone hate him for being little? Is Joonie a bwat?

There was a buzzing sound around his ears as he watched the six members arguing with each other. He pressed his knees to the chest further as he sobs. He was trying to muffle the sound of his crying as he thought the members hate it but it becomes worst later on.

When Namjoon let out a choked sound, everyone attention turns to him. When they saw how Namjoon's face had become red - too red actually; Seokjin immediately runs towards the younger.

"Hey.. Hey...Namjoon...calm down..."

Seokjin tries to coax the younger when Namjoon's breathing hard. His face was saline soaked with his tears. He carefully placed his hand on Namjoon's hand that been hugging his knees - afraid that the younger will react like before.

"Joo...Jo...joonie..."

Seokjin caressed on Namjoon's hand slowly, trying to soothe him. "Slowly...take your time..."

"Wan...eom...eomma..."

Seokjin averted his eyed towards Yoongi. His face evidently shown with worries and concerns. Namjoon was never acted like this, neither he will nonchalantly ask for his mother. It is really weird. And the fact that he can't make the younger to stop crying had made his heart clenched with agony.

"What should we do now?" asked Seokjin, voice lower than before, trying not to scare Namjoon further. His eyes on the rest of his members, asking for a solution.

"Call Mrs. Kim!"

Everyone gasped at Yoongi's suggestion but they knew that they had no other choice. Not when Namjoon didn't seem going to stop crying until or unless he talks to his mother.

Seokjin looks around the room, searching for Namjoon phone when he notices the phone with Ryan's case laid down on the coffee table. Seokjin tapped on the screen when he realized that it has password protected. He shows the screen to the members.

"How? Do anyone knows about his password?" Asked him. And all the members shook their head. Of course, no one knows and they never go through each other phones because it is their personal space.

Seokjin took a breather as he cocked his head towards Namjoon. "Namjoon? Can you...can you tell me the password? You know...for me to call your mother?"

Namjoon looks at his phone with stoic expression - still sobbing. Later he shook his head, answering Seokjin.

"Joo...Joonie can't...wemember..." told Namjoon and continue to cry. Namjoon in little space forgot almost everything and a simple password to his phone become really difficult for him.

Seokjin sighed at the answer and he looks again at the rest of the BTS members. They have the same expression as Seokjin right now. They were stupefied and lost. They didn't know how to deal with this kind of Namjoon.

"Wait...give me your hand Namjoon..." Said Seokjin out of sudden.

Namjoon flinched at the instruction, curled his both hands as he didn't want to do as been asked by Seokjin.

"Give me your hand...Joonie? Please?" Coaxed Seokjin when he saw how Namjoon curled himself in a defensive mode.

Namjoon hearing the soft and tender voice of Seokjin slowly shoves his hand towards Seokjin as his doe eyes watch how Seokjin hold his hand gently. Seokjin then put his finger at the back of Namjoon's phone, trying to use his fingerprints to unlock the phone. It's done within a second when his pointy finger touched the pad.

Seokjin didn't wait too long and immediately called Mrs. Kim and on the second ring, Mrs. Kim already picks up the call.

"Joonie darling?"

Seokjin clears his throat at the enthusiast voice of Namjoon's voice. "Err, sorry Mrs. Kim. This is Kim...Kim Seokjin from BTS..."

"Ah, Seokjin! Mr. Worldwide handsome, " tease Mrs. Kim as she let out a soft chuckle.

Seokjin faking a cough at the teasing as his heart welled up with pride that Mrs. Kim actually acknowledges his handsomeness. But that's not the important thing that he wants to talk with Namjoon's mother. He glanced at Namjoon that still crying and Seokjin notice how his eyes become droopy - almost fell asleep. He cooed in his heart looking at how cute and adorable Namjoon is.

"Err...Mrs. Kim...the reason I called you is about Namjoon..."

The line becomes eerily quiet and Seokjin feels restless. It took another second before he can hear how Mrs. Kim inhaled her breath. Deeply.

"Is he a little right now?" She asked as if she already knew what is the reason why Seokjin been calling her from Namjoon's phone. 

Seokjin frowned at the question. Little? What is that? He steals a glance on Namjoon, trying to figure out the meaning of Mrs. Kim's word. Seokjin realized how Namjoon is been acting weird right now. And he was crying non-stop, asking for his mother. Other than that, his speech becomes incoherent like a kid. Is that what 'little' mean?

"I...I guess so? And he's crying asking for you...We...I didn't know what to do..." Seokjin said with hesitant. He looks at the rest of his members that still shocked and afraid to approach Namjoon. They were watching Namjoon from the corner of the room - restless.

Mrs. Kim groaned from the other side of the line, feeling guilty that she can't be with Namjoon at this moment. She also realized how Namjoon frequently regressed these days due to distress.

"Well...I think you need to bring him home. Get his box under his bed and take out the blue blanket. He will be okay after a nap..." She said, giving instruction to Seokjin how to deal with Namjoon's little space.

Seokjin doesn't take too long asking his fellow members to pack up their belonging. Lucky that the fan meeting had over and they can go back home immediately.

It's been really hard to convince Namjoon to get up from the couch. He was still sobbing, his body is shaking with fear when he saw the rest of the members scurried around the room. He feels intimidated with their presence. Seokjin then asked them to leave first and let him to coax Namjoon.

Seokjin smiles when Namjoon grip tightly on his sleeve while they were walking out from the place. He can hear the sniffles from the leader and how he constantly wiped off his snort with his sweater. It's gross but Seokjin didn't want to lecture the said male now. Not when he is fragile.

Namjoon was tagging along with Seokjin all the way to their van. He had another fit of cries when he saw the five members looking at him when Seokjin opened the door. Seokjin glares at them, asking them to turn their head away - which they obliged obediently.

Throughout the journey to their dorm, Namjoon was holding Seokjin's arm and hiding his face on Seokjin's wide shoulder. Feeling a little bit safe. His tears still rolling down his chubby cheek and he keeps mumbling his 'eomma', which makes the rest of the member's heart feel the pang of sorrow.

When they arrived at their dorm, Seokjin dragged Namjoon to his room followed by the members that really curious as to what is Seokjin going to do. The elder still didn't tell them what he had talked with Namjoon's mother yet.

When Namjoon sits on his bed, Seokjin peered on underneath of the rapper's bed and found out the box mentioned by Mrs. Kim. He pulled out the box and opened it carefully. His eyes widen when he saw lots of stuff in the box. Coloring books, color pencils, drawing block, soft toys, and the blue blanket. Seokjin grabbed the blanket and keep the box back to its place but makes a mental note to himself to ask about it when Namjoon is back to his old self.

Namjoon doe eyes widen when he saw his favorite blue blanket on Seokjin's hand. "Joonie sweep?" he asked innocently while pointed his finger at the blanket.

Seokjin nods with a soft smile. And he can hear how the members cooed at Namjoon from his room door. Those brats! Instead of helping just being a bystander!

Seokjin helped Namjoon to lay down and wrapped the blanket over his lanky body. "Just sleep okay. Then, we can talk about this later..." Said Seokjin tenderly, like he was talking to a kid.

Namjoon sniffs and nods while his droopy eyes staring at Seokjin. "Wyan?"

Seokjin frowned. Didn't fully grasp what the younger had said. "Wy-wyan what?"

Namjoon pouted. "Joonie can't sweep if no Wyan! He...he's Joonie fwend!"

Seokjin furrowed deeper, stirring his head towards the members - asking for an explanation. Everyone just shrugs their shoulder as they too didn't understand Namjoon's slurred speech. Seokjin mouthed 'asshole' towards them in anger.

"Can...can Joonie tell me where...where's Wyan is?" asked Seokjin. It is better to ask the younger to show him rather than battling with himself to figure it out and makes the younger further upset.

Namjoon perked up his head a little bit, eyes scanning through his room before he smiles wider when he saw his favorite Ryan lying down on the floor at the corner of the room. "There...Wyan is there..." He said while he pointed his finger.

Seokjin and the members look at where Namjoon's slender finger been pointed out and everyone goes 'oh' when they realized that 'Wyan' meant by Namjoon is his Ryan plushy. Seokjin was about to get up from the bed before Jimin moved forward and took the soft toy and bring it to Seokjin. Seokjin then gives the big Ryan plushy to Namjoon.

Namjoon squeaks in happiness and hugged the Ryan tightly. Everyone once again cooed at the leader. Despite being accustomed to Namjoon's addiction to Ryan characters but to see him squeal like a kid is another new experience for them. And Namjoon looks really adorable.

"Okay, now sleep..."

Namjoon nods his head tiredly and it just takes him not less than a minute for him to fell asleep. After hearing the soft snores of the leader, Seokjin tugged the blanket comfortably before he gets up from the bed slowly.

Now, everyone assembled at the living room with full of questions as they still confused as what had happened to their charismatic leader. No one can hide their confusion and curiosity because this is the first time they had to encounter such a situation.

"What happened to Namjoon?" asked Yoongi directly to Seokjin.

"What did his mother said to you, hyung?" Jungkook further asked.

"Why he acted like that?" Taehyung then asked.

"But he looks really cute!!" said Jimin with full of admiration.

"And why he talks like a kid?" Hoseok further asked.

Seokjin sighed at the bombarded questions, pinching the bridge of his nose as he starts to feel dizzy. He was about to say something when someone voice echoed in the living room.

"Daddy?"

 





Chapter Text

 

  


 

 

It feels hot. His body starts to sweat and he squirmed under the blanket. He kicked his favorite blanket unconsciously and slowly open his doe eyes. It was dark. He knew he is in his own room but it feels too spacey and spooky. His eyes start to well up with tears as he gets up from the bed.

"Daddy?"

As his eyes quiver around his room with trembling lips, he couldn't help but feel alone. He expects someone to be with him, here in the room when he wakes up. But no one is here. Not even his mother. Feeling so hot and stuffy in the room, Namjoon pulled down his jeans - leaving him with his yellow hoodie and his boxer.

With still sleepy eyes, he took his Ryan on his right hand - securely tug the plush under his arm and the other hand took his favorite blanket. He then took a step down from the bed, scurried away from the room and walked through the hallway. He was still half awake and his steps a little bit wobbling.

As he approached the living hall, he can hear a few voices which he recognized each of it. Namjoon stood in the hallway, looking at his members one by one that had some serious conversation. But he feels weird in his stomach. The churn feeling in it like he was going to pee at any time. He needs someone to help him to use the big and scary toilet.

But everyone seems oblivious of his presence. Namjoon jutted his lower lips, sulking a little bit. And he can hear everyone strained voice. But he couldn't understand any of it. He was too little to understand the adult talks. He was three after all.

"What happened to Namjoon?" asked Yoongi directly to Seokjin.

"What did his mother said to you, hyung?" Jungkook further asked.

"Why he acted like that?" Taehyung then asked.

"But he looks really cute!!" said Jimin with full of admiration.

"And why he talks like a kid?" Hoseok further asked.

Why everyone looks mad? Did Joonie had done something bad? Did Joonie being a bwat? Did they hate Joonie for being a little?

"Daddy?" His voice comes out as shaking and his eyes were glassy - on the brim of crying. He tugged his Ryan tightly to his chest and his other hand holds the blanket to his mouth slowly - and he bites the hem of the blanket nervously.

Everyone turned their head almost simultaneously at the voice. When their eyes meet with Namjoon's teary orbs they gasped out loud. A little bit exaggerated actually and it agitates the little one immediately.

Namjoon starts to sobs. "Da-daddy?"

As they tried to hold themselves from hugging Namjoon for being too cute right now, their expression changed drastically to confusion when Namjoon had been calling someone as 'daddy'. They look toward each other, didn't know to whom did the 'daddy' word being referred to.

Seokjin took the first step as always, approaching the sad little. "Hey, Namjoon. What is it? What do you want?" Seokjin asked and his voice so tender that the rest of the members firmly believes that the title of 'mother of BTS' suits him very well.

"Joonie...Joonie wan daddy..." said Namjoon while crying.

Seokjin brows furrowed. "Daddy? Who...who is your daddy Namjoon?"

Namjoon sniffs and wipes his snorts with his sleeves before he peeks through Seokjin tall body and pointed his finger at one direction. And everyone cocked their head with wide eyes except one.

"Yoongi???" Everyone shouted in unison and very loud.

Namjoon flinched at the rising voice, mistakenly thought that all of them were angry at him - breaks into a loud wailing as he slumps his body on the floor. Seokjin immediately runs towards the little and try to soothe him but failed miserably.

"Joonie wan daddy!!" Namjoon said while he wails out loud.

Seokjin then averted his eyes toward Yoongi that seems fazed about the whole commotion. Still in shocked that Namjoon had pointed over him as his 'daddy'.

"Yeah, Yoongi! What are you doing there? Come to your son!" Said Seokjin.

Yoongi choked his own saliva at Seokjin's words. "Wh-what son? He's not my son! This is absurd!" he yells at the elder.

And everyone was horrified when suddenly the living hall become eerily quiet. Namjoon had stopped crying and his wet eyes now peered over Yoongi. Namjoon sniffs and hugged his Ryan to his chest.

"No da-daddy? Daddy no wike Joonie? Joonie is bwat...Daddy hates Joonie?" his innocent voice that became so raspy after the cry now pry on Yoongi.

Everyone mouth gape at the questions by the little, now tilted their head towards Yoongi - waiting for the oldest rapper to answer Namjoon.

"Yah Namjoon! Why are you like this? You...you are acting really weird...and...and why are you...ca-calling me da-daddy?" retaliates Yoongi, obviously flabbergasted.

Namjoon breathe hitched at the answer as his doe eyes gawking at Yoongi. His tears roll down to his cheek, looking hurt and devastated. "Da-daddy no wan Joonie?" he asked again.

Voice almost inaudible as if he was afraid to ask and was afraid to listen to the answer. He hugs his Ryan and tightly clenched on his Koya blanket.

"Hyung... I think you shouldn't answer him like that..." Interrupt Jimin, a little bit worry of Yoongi's refusal and Namjoon's hurt expression. And when Jimin looks around to see his bandmates, most of them nod their head - agrees with Jimin, except Yoongi.

Yoongi then snarled over Jimin. "Then how should I answer him? He's been acting so weird. And that talk...he...he..." Yoongi couldn't continue his words when he realized Namjoon had silent tears over his face, looking at Yoongi with his innocent, cute and adorable eyes. Yoongi gulped bitterly.

"Daddy ha-hates Joonie?"

Yoongi was flustered as his eyes meet with Namjoon's hazel orbs - so round and beguiling that Yoongi couldn't help himself from enchanted and mesmerized.

"Answer him hyung!"

Yoongi flinched at the harsh tone of Taehyung, looking at him begrudgingly. He was upset that Yoongi had treated Namjoon like that and the fact that Namjoon had called Yoongi as 'daddy'. He was jealous!

"You hates him?" Jimin asked as he put his tiny hand to his mouth - at shocked that Yoongi hates the cute and adorable Namjoon.

"Seriously? Do you hate Namjoon? He...he look so cute and you hate him? Are you mad hyung? Everyone loves cute Namjoon!!" Shrieked Hoseok - a little bit exaggerated.

Yoongi rolls his eyes in irritation at his fellow member's reaction. "Yah! I didn't say that I hate him. I just...you know..."

"Then, come and get your boy Yoongi! Don't let me spank your dirty ass!" Scolds Seokjin as he had been listening to the conversation all the time. He didn't have any patience left in him, not when Namjoon silently cry when Yoongi refused to admit that he is Namjoon's daddy.

Yoongi flinched in fear at Seokjin's harsh tone, knowingly that the eldest in the BTS is really angry right now. You can see it from his eyes that been ogling towards him with a red face. Yoongi then slowly moved towards the two and cautiously crouched down in front of crying Namjoon.

"Talk to him, you idiot!" urged Seokjin when Yoongi doing nothing just sit there looking at Namjoon - flustered.

"Hey...Nam...Namjoon..."

Namjoon let out a small sob before he lifted his head and exchanged the gaze with Yoongi. He gnawed his lower lips. "It's...it's Joonie, daddy!" He said as he protested when the grumpy rapper keeps calling him Namjoon.

Yoongi was taken aback at the tantrum, scratching his neck sheepishly. "Okay...okay, I'm sorry Joonie. So, emmm... wow this is really awkward!" Mumbles Yoongi.

Yoongi yelp in pain when Seokjin smacked the back of his head for acting oblivious in front of Namjoon. But Yoongi says nothing to the eldest as he was afraid to make Seokjin angrier than he already is.

"So, Joonie... Why, why are you crying?" He asked carefully.

Namjoon puffed his chubby cheek. "Daddy, Joonie...Joonie wan-wan to pee pee...help Joonie..."

Seokjin and Yoongi eyes widen at the saying and they were in a panic mode when they see how Namjoon squirms on the floor as he clamps both of his feet trying to holding up his urine.

“Oh God! We need to go to the bathroom fast!” screamed Seokjin out loud. He looks at Yoongi as the rapper nods at him and both of them quickly stand up.

“Let’s go Joonie!” said Yoongi.

Namjoon then raised both of his hand towards Yoongi. “Up-up daddy!”

Yoongi was stupefied as he looks at Namjoon – waiting for him to pick him up in his arm. He can't imagine how his petite body will be able to hold the tall and lanky Namjoon. He will be squished to death!

Oh, God!

Chapter Text

 


“Up – up…daddy!”

Yoongi was dumbfounded at the request, looking at Namjoon's innocent face as he makes a grabby hand asking the oldest rapper to pick him up. Yoongi incredulously bewildered as he keeps thinking how the hell he is going to pick the tall and lanky Namjoon. Isn’t that impossible?

But – but Yoongi wasn’t going to refuse Namjoon right? His inner conscience had been battling with his logic and rational thinking. However, right now in Yoongi's eyes, Namjoon looks so tiny and cute and adorable and squishy and – and Yoongi will be cursed if he ever let the little's down; right?

So what if he is going to break his spine into two? He still going to pick little Namjoon – right? Yoongi bats his eyelashes as he is still thinking the pro and cons of his further action. 

“Daddy! Up – up daddy. Joonie…Joonie wan pee pee. Fast!” the little had been urging the elder to make a fast action before he pees himself. He doesn’t want to urinate in his pant. That will be grossed. Eww!

Yoongi took a deep breath as everyone was looking at him – didn’t know what the grumpy male will do at such a situation. As their heart beats erratically watching the crucial moment, everyone jaws dropped at one sentence uttered by Yoongi.

“Okay, let's daddy pick you up!” he finally said as he moved his hand forwards to pull Namjoon from the floor.

The little was too excited at the words, giggling as he took Yoongi hands and let the elder pull him with full force. Namjoon then quickly jumped over Yoongi, hugging the small and petite man like a koala – wrapping his long legs on Yoongi's waist and his hand on the neck.

Yoongi almost stumbles backward at the sudden weight, legs wobbling and he thought he’s going to break his spine into two – before he feels someone had helped him to stabilize his body from the back.

“Th – thanks…” he said while he grimaced in pain before he tilts his head to see the one who had held him. Hoseok.

Hoseok smiles at Yoongi. “Welcome. And you really do need a help hyung. Your face looks like that you're going to shit in your pant!”

“I never know you have a daddy kink, Yoongi!” tease Seokjin which makes everyone laughed at the jokes.

Yoongi groaned at the remarks but choose not to retaliates back when Namjoon whines that he almost peeing himself. Afraid that the male unable to hold himself any longer, Yoongi immediately scurried away to the nearest bathroom – followed by Seokjin and Hoseok.

They were in the small bathroom that can accommodate up to three people at one time – leaving Hoseok standing at the doorframe. Everyone staring at Namjoon who looks uncomfortable, playing with the hem of his sweater.

Now that he was standing in the middle of the bathroom, the three realizes Namjoon only wear his tight boxer up to the middle of his thigh. The three then suddenly can feel the heat on their face, flushed with red out of embarrassment, looking at how sexy their leader right now.

“Da – daddy…”

“Ye – yes Joonie?”

“Turn awound pwease? Joonie…Joonie wan to pee…” said Namjoon as he feels shy that the three males were staring at him.

“Oh – ow…Ah…yeah…Well sorry…”

The three was flabbergasted and notice that they were gawking at the leader’s thigh shamelessly. Despite being little right now, Namjoon still can think rationally about how he’s going to go naked in front of his bandmates. That will be too much obscene. They might be living together for years but to show the lower part of their bodies still not going to be very comfortable.

Namjoon quickly pulls off his boxer up to his knee and hesitantly sits on the big and gigantic toilet as if it’s going to suck him – but he really need to relish himself. He pouted at the thought being swallow by the toilet monster.

“Finish daddy!!” he screamed in joy, bouncing happily as the three male now turn their bodies to see Namjoon. They cooed at how cute Namjoon is acting right now.

“Uffff….” Yoongi groaned when Namjoon suddenly koala hugged him once again. Hoseok who sense the trouble suffered by Yoongi, immediately hold his back to prevent both of them to fall on the floor.

Hoseok then let out a soft chuckle and whispered to Yoongi ears. “You might have constipation if this keeps going on, hyung…” tease Hoseok while chuckling at the eldest grumpy face.

Yoongi squinted his eyes towards the rapper before he starts to walk out from the bathroom – with Namjoon hogging him, giggling that his daddy had picked him up.

Yoongi helped Namjoon to sit at the dining table, where Seokjin had ordered the rest of them to join the two. Everyone still in shocked as what is happening and staring at the leader who happily hugs his Ryan – given by Seokjin. Seokjin then wrapped the Koya blanket on Namjoon's lap, afraid the leader will get cold by wearing only boxer.

“So? What is happening to our Namjoon?” asked Taehyung when Seokjin took his seat beside Hoseok.

“Well, what Mrs. Kim had told me Namjoon is a little?” told Seokjin with vague voice, unsure of what is ‘little’ is all about. The whole thing is new to him and to all of them.

“A little?” Jimin and Hoseok let out almost a unison squeak. A little bit too loud that their voice had startled Namjoon.

“Joo – Joonie is little… you – you hate little Joonie?” he asked with his tiny voice, fiddling with his Ryan's ear – nervous that his friend couldn’t accept him being a little.

Seokjin grabs one of Namjoon’s hand that laid on the table – squeezed it lightly to soothe him. Namjoon looks at the elder and he smiles wryly when Seokjin does the same.

“Let me search about this thing first before we discuss further…” said Jungkook and took out his phone. His fingers swiftly type on the screen looking for the definition of ‘little’.

“I found it!” he screamed with excitement and start to read it out loud for the members. “Little space is where you get into the headspace of a child, entering a childlike carefree space away from the adult world. Its a way of coping from some sought of stress they may be experiencing.”

“If – if the stress had triggered the little space, doesn’t that mean that hyung had been facing it for quite sometimes? I mean all this time he had been stressing himself a lot and he says nothing to us?” 

Everyone was in silent at Taehyung's outburst – in agreement with the vocalist. Their eyes now on Namjoon who seems in his own world, playing a peek – a – boo with his Ryan. They curved into a smile looking at how relax and serene Namjoon was, rather than he is in his normal self.

They know how much works need to be done by the leader. It’s twice or triple than the rest of the members. Composing songs, meeting with the PDs, dance practices, recording songs, interviews and the list go on. It’s really a heavy responsibility being the leader of BTS – the worldwide famous kpop band.

Not that they didn’t want to share to responsibility with the leader, but some works only Namjoon can manage to do by himself – especially if it is involving with interviews in English. Jungkook had been brushing his English skills and it's getting better but still, he is not confident to answer some complicated questions.

Being the leader of BTS is really stressful. They know the fact and they tried their best to help Namjoon. Namjoon always absorbs the stress for them – from the company as well as the netizens, especially the anti-fans. They know how harsh some hates comments were and Namjoon had been dealing with it since their debut days. They didn’t know how much the leader had swallowed the hate comments – about how BTS is a failure and how Namjoon is the worst leader.

It hurts. All of them. The comments that say BTS won’t stay long enough in the industry, BTS has no magic in Korea entertainment industry, BTS was not a visual idol and all the bad and downgrading remarks on each member. They have been facing such hardship in their early years, being hated and being humiliated just because they signed with a small company – BigHit. And they still remembered how they had circulated the flyers themselves on the street for their first concert abroad.

But looks what had they achieved nowadays. They were at the top of the world. And they were going to be the top of all. They believe that their hardworks finally been paid off. Everyone was proud of them, giving them full support and they have the best fan ever. The army was there for them, through thick and thin – giving all the support, loving them at their worst and at their best. They were blessed.

And the person who had to bring them to this fame; Kim Namjoon. He is the one who had lead BTS with full efforts, hard works, and faith. When they were even thinking about disbandment because it is too hard for them, Namjoon is the one that been holding them – asking them to believe him, asking them to give BTS a chance; that they will be successful one day. Just believe.

They did. They put their trust in Namjoon, being their best leader and working so hard that they can achieve what they have today. Namjoon had brought them together as BTS and Namjoon had proven that BTS is the best and he is the best leader they could ever have. They were thankful that Namjoon had never given up with them. BTS won't be here today if it is not because of Namjoon.

“I think we never do anything for Namjoon – hyung, as much as what he had done for us. We always depend on him whenever we had a problem knowing that he can solve it for us. But we forget to do the same to ease his burden. We thought, as the leader, he can handle everything. Which he did. But he still need us, right? He still wants to depend on us when he feels down, right?”

Jimin couldn’t hold his tears as he speaks his mind. His eyes fixated at the leader, feeling his heart been clenched with pain that he couldn’t be the shoulder for Namjoon to lean as Namjoon always did for him. He was too oblivious and he feels that he had failed himself as Namjoon's dongsaeng. 

How Namjoon was there for him when he was struggling with his diet and eating disorders. How Namjoon always hugs him when he saw the negatives comment saying something bad about his chubby physics. Namjoon who always say that he is beautiful inside and outside, no matter what had the other people said about him. That Namjoon. 

Namjoon lifted his head when he heard the sobs and his eyes widen seeing Jimin is crying while Taehyung wrapped his hand over Jimin's small frame. 

“Dada? Cwying?” 





 

Chapter Text



𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 : The content of this chapter or section may seem obscene or offensive to some readers. It contains ‘strong language’, or ‘scenes' some readers may find upsetting. A mark of (⚠️) will be put before and after the paragraph, you can skip it if you want.

Read at your own risk.


 

“Dada? Cwying?”

Jimin perked up at the name, looking at Namjoon who had been staring at him with his round glassy eyes. Jimin's mouth gaped at the sight before he puts both of his hand on the cheek and squeals happily. Forgetting how he had been crying just now. 

“Me? Dada? Really Joonie? Omo!!! I’m Joonie's dada! I’m going to die!!!” He said dramatically before he shot up from the chair and bolted towards Namjoon – hugging the said male, almost crushing the poor little. 

Namjoon pouted at the action, scrunching his nose as Jimin been hugging him too tight that he feels his body been squished and he can hardly breathe.

“Dada, no! Joonie…Joonie can’t bwih! Lemme go, pwease!!”

Jimin let out a boisterous laughed, feeling his heart almost exploded with Namjoon cuteness. As he let go his arms, Jimin moved to palm Namjoon's face – squishing the chubby face of the leader. Up and down, round and round like he was dough-ing the flour.

“Dada!!” Namjoon scolds Jimin for his playful demeanor as his lips nozzle at the action. 

Jimin giggles. “Aigoo! My baby is so cute that dada can’t hold himself from squishing youuuuu…” said Jimin teasingly and let go of his hand. He grinned when he saw how red Namjoon's cheek was and the said male now puffing in irritation as he crossed his arm to his waist adorably. 

“Its huwt, dada! Joonie no wike that.” Told Namjoon, sulking, and eye-glared at his mochi dada. 

Jimin cooed for Namjoon cuteness, laughing his heart out in a joy that Namjoon had picked him to be his ‘dada’. He couldn’t be happier than to take care of the little. So he didn’t mind to see the sulky and pouty Namjoon because it is worth it. 

Jimin beckoned on Hoseok to move from his chair since he wants to sit beside Namjoon. Hoseok rolled his eyes before he moves his ass over Jimin's chair. Jimin grinned sheepishly and stuck his tongue out when Hoseok smacks the back of his head playfully.

“What’s this daddy and dada all about?” asked Jungkook, frowning in confusion. As he looks at the rest of the member, they have the same expression too – didn’t fully grasp yet the situation with little Namjoon. 

Jungkook sighed before he typed something on his phone once again. “Listen, guys…”

Everyone has their attention to Jungkook, waiting for him to read for them the article about the little space. 

“An adult little is often accompanied by another adult, referred to as a caregiver, who assumes responsibility during the time the adult is within the little space mindset. The caregiver may be assigned a special name, such as Daddy or Mommy, to indicate their authority over the situation and the care they are giving to the little adult.”

“So Yoongi and I the caregiver?” asked Jimin for confirmation after listening to Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe. It’s been said here so I guess it’s a yes…”

“Ah, I’m glad to be Namjoon – hyung caregiver!” Said Jimin gleefully, clapping his hand in excitement. He was honored that Namjoon had picked him among the other members to be his caregiver – his ‘dada’. 

Isn’t that the best thing ever happen in your life? Being entrusted with such an important responsibility? That’s mean Namjoon has faith on him, right? Namjoon thought he is special, right? 

“What about you Yoongi?” asked Seokjin after seeing how easy Jimin being agreed to be Namjoon's caregiver. Well, of course, all this while Jimin has the soft heart at the leader. He might be like to tease or play a prank on Namjoon but he always adores the leader. 

Yoongi clears his throat, glancing over Namjoon that looks sleepy, yawning for a few times. “Well, he did call me ‘daddy’. So, I guess I had been the chosen one right?” he said nonchalantly with his stiff expression. But deep down inside his heart, he was happy that Namjoon actually thought he was able to carry out the duty as his caregiver. 

“Jungkook, did the article said anything on what we should do as a caregiver? I mean some stuff that we need to prepare?” asked Seokjin, looking directly at Jungkook stoic expression. He did realize the sullen face of the maknae, but he didn’t know the reason behind it. He will ask about it later but for now, Namjoon is more important.

Jungkook makes a huff sound of dissatisfaction at the instruction made by Seokjin, nonetheless, he still scrolling the same webpage to look for useful information. He dismissed a few frowns made by the rest of the members at his attitude. 

“Common activities that little adults engage in are coloring, watching cartoons designed for children, partaking in games like hiding and seek. Some little adults also modify or own specialty clothing for little space time and dress up, wear adult diapers, or restyle their hair.”

“Ah that’s why I saw coloring books in his box earlier…” told Seokjin, remembered the box under Namjoon's bed when he took out the blanket as told by Mrs. Kim over the phone. 

Namjoon perked up at the mention of his treasure box. “Joonie has so many books. But…but Joonie wike Sailormoon the most. Be – because she is pwetty…” he said gleefully. Face beaming and his eyes glistening with joy. He really looks like a super excited kid who is being enthusiast speaking about his stuff. 

Seokjin and the rest of the members chuckle at Namjoon cuteness, telling them how much he likes Sailormoon. And they suddenly remembered the day where Namjoon has to wear the costume and looks really adorable. He must be happy that he can be Sailormoon that day. Lol.

“Okay, little boy, what is the other thing that you like? Will you tell dada?” asked Jimin while showing his crescent moon smile. He’s really excited to be Namjoon caregiver and to know what he needs to do when Namjoon is in the little space.

Namjoon huffs at the question, jutted his lower lips as his eyes looking at the ceiling – trying to think about his favorite thing. Jimin coos at his reaction. Cute!

“Ah – ah…Joonie wike cwab too. Because Mr. Cwab is cute. And – and Joonie wike chicken nuggets, owange juice and – and banana milk…It’s dewishes…” 

“Then what about Ryan?” asked Jimin, trying to tease the little while he pats on the plushy head that securely holds by Namjoon.

Namjoon immediately tightens his arm around his Ryan, giggling before he answered happily. “Wyan is Joonie most favor…favo…wite?” he pouted when he finds its difficult for him to pronounce the word ‘favorite’. 

Jimin chuckles and starts to ruffle Namjoon brown hair. “Cutie!”

“So Joonie…”

Everyone’s eyes on Yoongi who suddenly clears his throat, wanting to ask some question at Namjoon. Yoongi rolls his eyes when he realized that the members always exaggerated whenever he started to speak with Namjoon. 

Is that really weird if he treats Namjoon like that? Come on, he and Namjoon had been friends for years, longer than the other members. Of course, they have a special bond. Right? That’s why Namjoon had chooses him to be his daddy. There's nothing odd if he had a soft heart for the rapper!

“Joonie…can you tell me…emm tell daddy, how old are you?” asked Yoongi, still couldn’t be used to call himself as ‘daddy’ when he talks to Namjoon. But he's trying his best right now eventhough it is embarrassing and his face had a tinge of red. 

“Twee…Joonie is twee daddy…” he said while he shows his finger to Yoongi. 

Everyone laughed at Namjoon as he was showing only two fingers instead of three. Yoongi then holds his hand and help Namjoon to lift his other finger. “That’s two Joonie…and this is three... “

Namjoon then plays with his own fingers excitedly, mumbling the same words between two and three while the others watching him adorably. 

“That’s mean we need to buy Namjoon’s food. We don’t have nuggets and banana milk…” suggest Seokjin further. 

“That’s right hyung. I’ll go with you.” Agreed Jimin.

“I’m going too!” interfered Taehyung, raising his hand like he was in a classroom while grinning, flashing his boxy smile. 

“I and Hoseok had to go the studio hyung. We have to finish our song's arrangement today. But it won’t take too long though…” said Yoongi, a little bit concern to leave Namjoon at the dorm unattended. 

“Well, then Jungkook will be here with Namjoon…” said Seokjin. Eyes on Jungkook.

Jungkook was taken aback when his name got picked out of sudden. “Why? I – I don’t know how to…to deal with this…” he refutes, stuttering as he didn’t know how to explain his anxiousness about Namjoon's situation. 

Seokjin gives him an eye-glared. “Don’t be childish Jungkook. You just need to watch over Joonie while we were away. It won’t be long. And…” 

Seokjin eyes averted to Namjoon that had a droopy eye, almost fallen asleep at his chair - head bopping to the side. “…and he's sleepy right now. I and Yoongi will help him to his room. Make sure you watch over him. He won’t be like to be left alone in the room. Understand?”

Jungkook cowered in his seat at Seokjin stern voice, knowing that he has no option other than agreeing on the arrangement. He should be volunteering to go to the store with Seokjin earlier! Now he is stuck with weird Namjoon!

Jungkook shoulder slumped in defeats when the main door been closed when all the members left the dorm. After huffing roughly, he scurried his feet to his room dejectedly. Before he entered the room, he glanced for a second at Namjoon's room – where he is been sleeping right now. He groaned in frustration.

To be honest, he had the difficulties to accept the whole ordeal; Namjoon being a little. Isn’t that weird? How come his favorite hyung who is well known for his charming and charismatic personality as the BTS leader, now acting like a child? This is not the image that he ever picturized about Namjoon. 

In fact, he had joined BigHit and BTS because he was attracted to Namjoon. He looks so cool when he raps and his intimidating aura really captivates his heart. So when Namjoon acted like a child, it makes Jungkook a little bit frustrated.  

Jungkook growled in anger as he entered the room and quickly grab his game console; trying to divert his attention by playing the game. As he was caught up with the game, he didn’t even realize when Namjoon is now fully awake and trying to find his daddy or dada – but the dorm was eerily quiet. 

His lips trembling, on the verge of crying while he walks through the hallway with his Ryan. “Daddy? Dada?” he tries to call his caregivers but to no avail. Namjoon starts to sobs feeling scared that he had been left alone. 

Namjoon legs halted when he heard some noise from Jungkook's room before he immediately runs forwards and happily opened the door – Jungkook was too focus on the game that he didn’t realize Namjoon is standing at the door frame. 

“Koo – Kookie?” he hesitantly called the maknae. But Jungkook seems didn’t hear his tiny voice. Namjoon then decides to approach the younger male and tapped his finger on Jungkook's shoulder, makes the maknae to flinch and scream in horror.


(CW : ⚠️)

“Shit!!” 

Namjoon was shuddered at the loud curse, stumble his feet backward as his eyes quivered when he saw the red face of Jungkook; obviously mad. 

“What the fuck, hyung! You scared the hell out of me!!” He shouted unconsciously, slowly caressed his pounding heart out of shocked. 

Namjoon hugs his Ryan tightly, pressed to his chest as his eyes welled up with tears. “So – sowie… Joonie scawed, where's daddy? Dada?”

Jungkook let out a heavy breath, stroking his own hair to the back in anger that Namjoon had interrupted his game session. He glanced over the monitor when the game already ended with his character died after being shot to death. He grits his teeth and gives a murderous stare at Namjoon – forgetting the fact that Namjoon is little right now and he did not understand the consequences of his action. 

“Please hyung. Don’t act like some sick man and talk to me with this childish tone or whatsoever. It makes me sick, you know!” Jungkook let out his anger towards Namjoon, chewing the little with his disappointment and irritation. 

Namjoon flinched at the harsh tone, looking at Jungkook with tears rolling down to his cheek. “Joonie scawed… Kookie ha – hates Joonie?”

Jungkook couldn’t hold his anger, grips on Namjoon's forearm with both of his hands, making the little winced in pain and his Ryan instantly fall to the floor. Namjoon gasped at the harrowing situation but he was too scared to pick his Ryan because of Jungkook dark expression. 

Joonie's scawed!

“Stop doing this hyung. I hate it! This is not the real you. Just…just being your old self. The Kim Namjoon. Not some retarded fake kid!” snarled Jungkook as he shook the male in anger. 

“Stop…Joonie…Joonie scawed…It's huwt... Joonie's huwt... Lemme go...Kookie is meanie…” Namjoon starts to wail out loud, afraid of Jungkook odd behavior. His face becomes redden as he keeps on crying and struggling from Jungkook's hand - trying to free himself.

“Fuck Kim Namjoon! This is so stupid!”

“You…you are meanie. Joonie hates you!” screamed Namjoon and later pushed the maknae as hard as he can. Jungkook was startled when he almost falls stumble on the floor. 

(CW : ⚠️END)


“Yah Kim…” Jungkook was about to scold the little when Namjoon had run away from the room, crying his heart out leaving Jungkook flabbergasted at his own action. Damn! What had he done?

Namjoon slammed his door harshly. His whole body is shaking as his eyes quiver around his room. He cries harder when he realized that he had left his Ryan at Jungkook's room. Namjoon then grabbed his Koya's blanket and run to his walk-in closet.

Namjoon hides in his safe place, clutching his blanket until his knuckles turn to white before he slides down to the floor – heartbroken. The small space makes him start to sweat but nonetheless, he feels safe. He brought his knees to the chest, continue to sobs sorrowfully. 

“Wyan! Joonie wan Wyan! Daddy…dada where are you? Joonie wan daddy! Joonie wan dada! Koo-Kookie is meanie! Joonie no wike  Kookie. He…he is a monster!”






Chapter Text


   

Jungkook's shoulder slumps as Namjoon left his room crying his heart out loud. He can hear the loud thud of the door been slammed shut by the elder.

“Shit!” He cursed to himself.

Jungkook breathe hitched when he saw Ryan plushy belong to Namjoon, lying down on the floor. He frowned as he can’t remember when did the plush toy had been there. Maybe when he had scolded his hyung before that the plush fell down to the floor, unconsciously.

“What have you done Jungkook?” whispers Jungkook, regret evidently shows in his voice. He picks up the plush toy and flumps on his bed, staring at the Ryan with glassy eyes.

“Maybe…maybe I shouldn’t do that to hyung…but – but he is acting really weird, and – and it makes sense if I can’t accept this in a spur of a moment, right? Right?”

Jungkook released a heavy sighed, let out a small chuckle that sounded a little bit odd – pitying himself further for talking to the toy like a mad man. He had been reasoning to himself of his action, justifying his demeanor against Namjoon and trying to wash away the guilt for treating Namjoon as he did. But nothing seems working out. The guilts keeps on increasing in the pit of his stomach.

“I – I have a good reason to be mad, right?”

Jungkook didn’t know that he had been in trance for a quite some time, didn’t even realized that someone had unlocked the front door. He was brooding while holding Ryan in his hand, still thinking about his confrontation with Namjoon.

“Joonie – darling!!! We're home!!”

Jungkook was taken aback at the loud brisk voice, recognize it immediately that it belongs to Jimin. Jungkook rolled his eyes thinking that Jimin was too enthusiast to be Namjoon's dada. What’s so great about that? Jungkook silently groaned in irritation.

“Joonie? Where are you??”

Jungkook gets out from his room when he heard the concerned voice from Jimin, standing at the doorframe while his eyes looking at Jimin – who just get out from Namjoon's room.

“Hey Jungkook, have you seen Joonie? He’s not in the room! I can't find him anywhere also. Isn’t he sleeping before we left?” asked Jimin, frowning with confusion. Eyes looking around trying to find Namjoon.

Jungkook puckers an eyebrow at the question, glancing over at Namjoon's room. “I thought he was in the room?” he said, unsure about it himself.

Jimin squinted his small eyes towards Jungkook and had an akimbo hand over his waist. “Jungkook… it’s your duty to look after Joonie right? And why are you saying that? What did you do to him?”

Jungkook flustered at the accusation, trying to avert Jimin's deadly glare. “Wh – what do you mean? I’m not doing anything to him… I just…you know playing games with my computer… he – he was sleeping…” lied Jungkook, stuttering in his speech.

“What's the noise here?”

Jimin and Jungkook almost in unison tilted their head to the side when they heard Yoongi's voice. And Seokjin was standing behind the eldest rapper too, looking at both of the maknae. Meanwhile, Hoseok still at the studio and Taehyung went there to help his hyung.

“Joonie is missing. And Jungkook said he didn’t know where's Joonie go since he was too busy playing games!” told Jimin, whining a little bit because he can’t see little Namjoon after coming home. He had become too attached with the little in a short time.

Yoongi and Seokjin frowned. They both have their attention solely to Jungkook that seems to look uncomfortable. As if the maknae had been hiding something. Weird!

“What is it Jungkook? What happened while we were gone? Where’s Joonie?” asked Yoongi with a deep and serious tone. Obviously, he was trying to hold his anger. His eyes fixated at the youngest vocalist – waiting for a definite answer.

Jungkook was flabbergasted at Yoongi's question, his heart hammering out of fear. Jungkook can feel how his forehead had started to have cold sweat and his hand feels clammy.

“And why Ryan is in your room?”

Jungkook flinched at the mention of Namjoon's plush toy, head dangled down to the floor – afraid to see Yoongi's face.

“Where’s Joonie, Jeon Jungkook?” asked Yoongi, voice rising an octave as he grits his teeth while staring at the golden maknae. Feeling impatient at his silence, accustomed to such attitude whenever he had done something wrong.

Jungkook instantly cowered at the stern voice, his body shaken in fear and his eyes starts to well up with tears. “He – he is in the room, hyung…” he answered with a crack in his voice, a hint that he almost cry.

“Jimin said he is not in his room! Where is he then? You only have one job Jungkook! We trusted you to take care of him while we were doing some errands. It took only two damn hours and now he is missing but you didn’t know where he is? Isn’t that very oblivious?”

Jungkook breathes hitched at the outburst, tears start to roll down to his cheek as his eyes still glued on the floor. His hands play with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“Yoongi…” Seokjin pats on the rapper forearm, trying to soothe him. “Talk to him nicely. No need to get mad. Maybe Namjoon is here, playing somewhere. Let’s find him first, okay?” coaxed Seokjin.

He feels pity at the maknae and he didn’t want to totally blame him at the moment. They need to find the little first and asked him what had happened. No one really knows what had happened between the leader and the maknae in their absence.

Yoongi chided at Seokjin, let out a small growl of anger at Jungkook before he walked through the fidgeting boy – heading towards Namjoon's room. Seokjin and Jimin follow suits and Jungkook slowly marched to the room too as Jimin beckons on him to come along with his barely open eyes.

“Joonie? Where are you? Dada and Daddy are here…” said Jimin while his eyes hovering around the quiet room.

“Joonie? We're home! Don’t you want to see what had I bought for you?” said Seokjin, trying to coax the little to get out from his hiding place.

“Nam – emm Joonie? Da - daddy's here… come out please?” Yoongi was still a little bit awkward but he kind of adapts himself with his new role as Namjoon's caregiver. It’s a lie if he didn’t enjoy it for a little bit though.

“Da – daddy? Da – Dada?”

Everyone eyes widen at the small and wary voice coming out from Namjoon's walk-in closet before Yoongi instantly went to it and open the door roughly. Making the little to flinch at the loud sound.

“Namjoon!!” he shouted in shocked when he saw Namjoon was in the closet.

Everyone gasped when they saw Namjoon, crouching on the floor while hugging his knees to his chest – drenched in sweat as his face flush with red and eyes were puffy due to the crying. He looks so weak and fragile and for God sake, they didn’t even know for how long the little has been hiding in the closet.

“Da – daddy!!!” his hoarse voice wailing, calling for his daddy but he was too lethargic to even move his body to hug Yoongi. Waiting for his daddy to come to him.

Yoongi bolted towards Namjoon and embraced the leader, ignoring how his sweat had been soaking wet his shirt. Namjoon nuzzled his face over Yoongi's neck, crying in silence that sounded really heartbroken.

“Oh God, Namjoon! What are you doing here??” asked Yoongi in concern, a hand caressed the back of the little that shakenly crying.

“Daddy! Daddy! Joonie…. Joo – Joonie was scawed!”

Yoongi almost stumbles on his back when Namjoon tightens his arm over Yoongi's neck, let his body to slump in Yoongi's petite frame wholly.

“Hey, it’s okay. Daddy's here, okay? Let…lets get out from here. It's kind of hot here and you need to change your shirt Joonie. If not you’re going to get sick… okay?”

Yoongi didn’t wait for the little to answer, cocked his head towards Seokjin who had tears in his eyes – beckon over the eldest member to help him to pick Namjoon up.

Namjoon whined when Seokjin tries to help but Yoongi reassured him that he won’t let him go – then the little with the help of Seokjin get up from the floor, still clinging over Yoongi, hiding his face on the crook of Yoongi’s neck.

Yoongi let out a small yelp when Namjoon’s body almost slip down from his grip as his feet wobbled due to sitting too long on the floor. Seokjin helped the small man to stabilize Namjoon's body before Namjoon jumped and locked his long legs on Yoongi's torso. Yoongi puffed his cheek for the heavy load.

It still hard for Yoongi to adapt himself with Namjoon's height and weight over his small frame, but he was glad that Seokjin was there to help him – easing himself from picking up the little. Yoongi walked carefully towards Namjoon's bed, slowly put the still crying little on the mattress.

While Yoongi handling Namjoon with the help of Seokjin, Jimin makes a fast move to the kitchen, getting a glass of water which he thinks Namjoon will need it to avoid further dehydration. On the other side, Jungkook was watching from afar, distancing himself from the group. He was shell shocked to see his precious leader at such a state.

“No! No! Wan Daddy… pwease no leave Joonie!!” begs the little when he thought Yoongi was about to leave him alone. He tugged over Yoongi's shirt, clasping it tightly while his glassy red eyes ogling at the elder with agony, lips trembling in fear. Yoongi’s body almost falls onto the mattress as Namjoon keeps tugging on his shirt down.

Yoongi took a deep breath at the view, heart squeezed with pain that Namjoon had become so frail and haggard. Yoongi then cupped the face of Namjoon, moves his head a little bit to meet with his eyes.

“No, baby. I’m not going to leave you. You need to lie down and get some rest. You see… you look tired right now. So listen to daddy okay?” coaxed Yoongi with a smooth and silky voice, while one of his hand starts to caress Namjoon's face, wiping the tears with his thumb. He then strokes the damp hair over Namjoon's forehead that being wet due to his sweat.

Namjoon scrunched his nose while he nods but his eyes were still fixed on Yoongi, afraid that the said male will leave him if he ever moved slightly. He didn’t want to take the risk even though his daddy had promised he was not going anywhere.

“Joonie, let’s change the shirt before you sleep, okay?”

Namjoon tilted his head and saw Seokjin standing at his right side. He then averted his eyes towards Seokjin's hand where he can see his favorite white shirt with Mickey Mouse printed on it.

“Emm, Joonie… Joonie wike Miki…” he said in between of his sobs, hiccupping a little bit.

Seokjin smiles fondly and approached the said male. “Okay, then you have to remove the dirty shirt first so you can wear this…”

Namjoon nods for a few times, lifting up his soaking wet shirt in a haste. Which later he whined when the shirt now stuck on his head. “Da – daddy, help Joonie!!!”

Yoongi let out a small chuckle before he helped his boy to get out from the shirt and throw it into the laundry bag nearby. Yoongi tapped on Namjoon's nose with his pointy fingers when he saw the pouting face of the little.

Then, Seokjin helped Namjoon to wear his new shirt, pats on the male head when he giggles looking at the Mickey Mouse over his shirt, touching the character playfully.

“It’s pwetty daddy!” he said gleefully, showing the shirt to Yoongi. Yoongi and Seokjin smile at the little excitement, a little bit relieved that he is no longer crying even though there are still few sobs emitted from his plump lips.

Namjoon tilted his head to the side when he feels his mattress dip down before he saw Jimin had taken the place beside him. “Dada…”

Jimin smiles at the name, slowly shove the glass of plain water. “Drink this baby…”

 

Namjoon shook his head refused to drink it. “No… don’t wan. Joonie wan – wan banana milk pwease…” he demanded while jutting his lower lips. He sounded like a little brat right now.


Jimin hummed in response, knowing that Namjoon is sulking and maybe a little bit bratty after having such an episode in the closet. Couldn’t blame the little anyway but Jimin urged the little to take the water. He needs it after he was sweating profusely.

“No baby, you need to drink this first. Dada doesn’t want you to get sick. I’ll give you the banana milk if you being a good boy, okay?” persuades Jimin with his tender voice.

Namjoon huffed in frustration that he couldn’t get his favorite drink. He looks at his dada and hesitantly took the glass. He sipped the plain water half of the glass before handed it back to Jimin.

“Finish it Joonie…” said Jimin with a stern look.

Namjoon whimpered at the command, feeling restless that he needs to drink the tasteless water. But afraid that his mochi dada will get mad at him, Namjoon finished the water with a sulking face.

Jimin pats on Namjoon's head when he gives the empty glass, saying some encouragement word towards the little together with an appraisal. “Good boy, Joonie…”

Namjoon giggled at the compliment, feeling happy that his dada is proud at his little action. Jimin then glanced at Yoongi and Seokjin that been standing on the bedside, squinted his eyes towards the eldest a hint for them to ask Namjoon what had happened to him while they were gone.

Seokjin took the roles when Yoongi looks hesitant. He crouched down, took Namjoon's hand and place it over Namjoon’s lap. Namjoon looks surprised at the sudden action but later smile when Seokjin slowly strokes his hand with the thumbs. Feeling at ease for small gestures.

“Well, my darling Joonie… can you tell me, Daddy and Dada, what are you doing in the closet?” he carefully asked, not to agitate the little once again.

Namjoon bites his lower lips, fidgeting with nervousness when he realized there were three pair of eyes staring at him, waiting for him to spill the tea. And Namjoon starts to tremble in fear when his eyes caught over Jungkook's silhouette standing at the corner of the room.

“Joo – Joonie scawed…” he whispered, almost inaudible but since Yoongi, Seokjin and Jimin were closed by so they can hear exactly what he had been saying.

“Why? Why did you scared? Tell us…” asked Seokjin, shocked to hear that from Namjoon – glanced for a second to Yoongi and Jimin with a concerned face.

“Daddy – Dada was not here… Joonie can’t find you. Joonie scawed. And, Kookie… Kookie… he – he…” Namjoon wasn’t able to tell everything when he broke into another fit of cry.

Jimin was surprised at the reaction, immediately hugged the male from his side. Namjoon let his dada to hold him and he continues to cry on Jimin's shoulder blade. He keeps on chanting that he was scared but none of his caregivers really understand about it. What does makes him so scared?

“What did you do to him, Jungkook?”

Jungkook who had been watching the whole ordeal jolted when Yoongi now facing him, arms crossed to his waist with a stern expression. Jungkook gulped knowing that now everyone attention is on him.

“Hyung… I’m… I’m…” Jungkook didn’t know how to explain himself, feeling everyone now cornering him to the edge that he starts to cry.

“Yah Jungkook! Why are you crying? Did you do something wrong?” interrupts Jimin, flustered to see the maknae at such state.

“Jungkook, tell us. If you had done nothing wrong we won’t be angry at you. But you also know that if you are the reason why Joonie was like that, I have to punish you right?” Said Seokjin with more subtle voice but at the same time had the weigh in it to show his prominent role as the oldest in BTS.

Jungkook let out a small sob hearing how scary that his bandmates had made clear of the consequences for his action. His head dangled down, couldn’t meet the eyes of everyone. He feels scared and vulnerable that he knew he had done something terrible. Now he had been remorsing himself over his mistakes.

“Sorry hyung… I'm really sorry. I – I didn’t mean to – to snap at him… I was just… just couldn’t accept yet how – how Namjoon being a little… that’s all… I didn’t mean to hurt him… I’m sorry hyung…”

The three gasped at Jungkook's explanation, looking at him begrudgingly.

“What the hell did you do to him Jungkook? And what do you mean that you’d hurt him?!” raged Yoongi almost swoop forward at the maknae if Seokjin didn’t stop him from doing so.

“So – sorry… sorry hyung…” Jungkook slides down to the floor, crying with guilt and fear that he never had been scolded by the eldest rapper before. Knowing the grave of his behavior towards Namjoon, Jungkook understands if his bandmates now end up hating him.

“Tell me what did you do to him Jeon Jungkook!”

“No daddy!!!”

Everyone was stupefied at the screaming, a small step running towards Jungkook. The three was dumbfounded looking at Namjoon now kneeling in front of Jungkook, both hands spread as if he was trying to protect Jungkook.

“No mad at hyungie! Joonie no wike daddy mad! Joonie wove hyungie!” exclaimed Namjoon, eyes gawking at the three with his murderous stare. Obviously mad for scolding Jungkook.

“Hyungie???!!!”





 

Chapter Text

 

 


 

“…Joonie wove hyungie!”

“Hyungie???!!”

Four pairs of eyes on Namjoon. Apparently shocked at the new name. Three pairs staring at him incredulously, standing in front of Namjoon. Meanwhile, another pair belonged to Jungkook, looking at Namjoon's back with aw shuck.

Hyungie? What was that?

“Joonie, daddy just ask…”

“No – no… daddy was mad! You…you shouting! Joonie no wike that, daddy…” said Namjoon as he ogled at his caregiver with a murderous stare. Hands still widely spread, didn’t want his daddy to scold Jungkook further.

Yoongi sighed and averted his eyes to Seokjin. Giving a signal for him to coax the little. Apart from being the caregiver for Namjoon, Yoongi still didn’t know how to handle Namjoon emotionally. Seokjin was more affectionate and took the role as the caregiver really well. Which makes Yoongi kind of jealous of it. He wants to be a good caregiver and he may need some more time for that.

Seokjin slowly approached the little, crouching in front of him. Seokjin pulled down both of Namjoon's hand that looks a little bit shaking for hanging too long. Namjoon pouted a little bit, tilted his head to see Jungkook.

“Joonie don’t want hyungie cwy otay? Joonie will – will… hmm… pwo – pwotect hyungie! Otay? Otay? No scawed, Joonie here…” said Namjoon while he pats on his own chest, giving assurance to Jungkook.

Jungkook bats his eyelashes at the words, looking at Namjoon with a mixture of emotion. Those innocent eyes where he had said such words makes Jungkook’s heart to swell with a little bit of pride.

“Joonie, daddy just asked Kookie about what he did to Joonie… you know that he had done something wrong to you, right?” intervene Seokjin but at the same time he feels happy that Namjoon didn’t hold any grudge towards Jungkook. Well, of course, being in the little space, his mind works like an innocent child.

Namjoon turned his head to see Seokjin, still pouting. He crossed his arm to his waist. “But daddy – daddy shout at hyungie!” Namjoon protest, lips jutted in dissatisfaction.

Seokjin smile, ruffling the hair of the little. “Yes, maybe he shouted a little bit. But he didn’t mean any harm, Joonie…”

“But hyungie cwy, appa! Hyungie was scawed… like Joonie. Joonie scawed too…”

Seokjin holds his breath when the little suddenly called him ‘Appa’. He put his hand to his mouth, couldn’t contain his excitement that Namjoon finally had given him the name as the caregiver.

It’s a total lie if he didn’t feel upset when Yoongi and Jimin got the special name – be called Daddy and Dada. In fact, he thought he will be Namjoon's first daddy or dada. But then Jungkook been called as ‘hyungie’ had doubled up his disappointment. He really wants to be Namjoon's caregiver when he was in the little space.

But now ‘appa’. Seokjin can see the fireworks above his head, and his eyes beaming with joy when he looks at Namjoon - like a heart shape pop out from his orbs. He was electrified that he is now Namjoon's appa.

“Joonie no wike that. Daddy, Dada and – and appa mad at hyungie. Hyungie cwy…Joonie no wike that…” said Namjoon as his lips tremble, on the verge of crying.

Seokjin was flabbergasted at the sudden situation, immediately hugged Namjoon and slowly rubbed the back of the said male – up and down. He can feel the tears start to soak his shirt on his shoulder blade.

“No, Joonie. Okay, okay…we won't say anything to hyungie anymore. Just, don’t cry…okay? Appa doesn’t like it when my cute and adorable Joonie cry…Understand?”

Namjoon hummed as a response, nods his hand while buried himself further over Seokjin's crook of neck. Seokjin eyes averted to Jungkook who remained silent watching the whole situation. Didn’t fully comprehend and still shocked. Maybe he didn’t expect for Namjoon to defend him after what he had done to the little.

“Come, you need some sleep baby…” said Seokjin, whispered to Namjoon's ears. He let out a soft chuckle when Namjoon whined at his words and when he pushed away Namjoon's body, the little was almost fallen asleep already.

Seokjin then helped Namjoon to stand up. When the little make a grabby hand, a little bit bouncing Seokjin frowned in confusion.

“Up – up, appa…” said Namjoon. His voice almost slurred as his eyes become droopy and he was too tired to walk by himself.

Seokjin smiles fondly before he opened his arm and the little immediately jumped over Seokjin. Seokjin huffed at the weight but he had less trouble than Yoongi because of his height almost equal to Namjoon. But still, it is hard to carry a healthy young adult and it's need a full strength to do so.

Seokjin carefully brings Namjoon to the bed and Jimin helped him to lay down the little onto the mattress. Jimin pulled the blanket up to Namjoon's chest and placed his Ryan to his side. Namjoon happily hugged the plushy before he drifted to slumberland – soft snores can be heard within a minute.

“Let’s talk outside Jungkook!” whispered Yoongi, eyes glaring at the golden maknae who was still on the floor.

Jungkook gulped in fear, begin to feel nervous as Seokjin and Jimin too had joined Yoongi to the living room. Jungkook slowly gets up, glanced for a second at sleeping Namjoon with a pang of guilt.

“What was that all about, Jungkook?” asked Yoongi when four of them seated on the couch.

Jungkook fidgeting at his seat, fiddling with his fingers with edginess. His head hung low to his lap, still didn’t have the courage to look at his hyung. He can feel the sharp stares of Yoongi, Seokjin, and Jimin over him.

It’s scary to be the center of attention like that. Especially when you know that you had done something wrong. It feels like a court trial, where he was seated in the accused stand, Yoongi as the judge meanwhile Seokjin and Jimin as the prosecutor. He suddenly got a goosebump.

“Even though Namjoon had defended you, I still want to know the whole thing. You can’t escape the aftermath. You know that right?” said Yoongi in a stern voice.

Jungkook nods his head slowly. His eyes had slowly accumulated the tears. He knew he was guilty for treating the leader like that but he also wants to believe that he had good reasoning behind his action. Well, sort of.

“I'm sorry hyung. I – I didn’t know that, that Namjoon-hyung will hide in the closet…” he said, still playing with his own fingers that start to look red because of how harsh he had been rubbing the skin.

Yoongi sighed deeply. “Then what’s happen Jungkook? We trusted you to take care of Namjoon. We didn’t expect this to happen while we were gone.”

Jungkook bits his lips. “I'm – I’m not ready yet…” he said, almost inaudible.

Everyone frowned at his words. “Ready for what Jungkook?” asked Seokjin, obviously concerned.

Jungkook lifts his head, looking at his three hyung one by one. “Ready to accept Namjoon – hyung in – in that condition…” explained Jungkook, a little bit hesitant as he was afraid at how his hyungs going to react.

As Jungkook predicted, a loud gasped erupted in the living room looking at Jungkook with wide eyes – utterly shocked. They couldn’t believe their own ears after hearing the maknae’s revelation.

“I – I thought you have no problem with this Jungkook. You always adore Namjoon and look out for him. And now you’re saying you can’t accept him being a little? Isn’t that really contradict with your own feeling?” said Jimin, voice strained with disbelief.

Jungkook however feels a little bit relieved after the had spilled his opinion about Namjoon. But at the same time, he still feels guilty for treating his leader like that. But it doesn’t mean that he is fine for Namjoon to act like a child.

“It’s too sudden hyung. I didn’t ready to see the other side of him. And he was acting like a child. He is not the same hyung that I used to adore. He was different…”

Yoongi groaned in frustration at his maknae. He couldn’t believe out of everyone it is Jungkook that couldn’t accept Namjoon for he is. Jungkook always had a special feeling towards Namjoon since day one. Everyone knows how Jungkook loves Namjoon more than the other members. Tagging him along all the way, asking for his opinion on everything and even have this sparkle in his eyes whenever he looks at Namjoon.

Everyone knows how special Namjoon was in his life. The BTS and the Army itself. Jungkook has always been seen staring at Namjoon lovingly whenever he is proud of whatever Namjoon did. Namjoon is Jungkook's paragon. It is not an overstatement to say that, Namjoon was Jungkook first boy's crush.

“Don’t make me laugh Jungkook! You shouldn’t say like that about him. You know how he always loves you more than the others. And for you to hate him for being little… don’t you think it will hurt his feeling?” scolds Yoongi.

Seokjin pats over Yoongi's arm, asking the said male to tone down his voice. He was afraid that Namjoon will hear it. Yoongi clicked his tongue at the gesture but he didn’t even protest because he knew they should discuss this matter calmly.

“And now what Jungkook? You can’t avoid him though. He is our leader. You will keep seeing him and he will be regressing at any time. What will you do then?” states Seokjin.

Jungkook sighed in defeats. He didn’t know himself how he should face the leader from now on. After the incident, it must be really hard to talk and to see each other. With the fact that he is unable to deal with Namjoon's little space also makes the whole thing become harder. Jungkook was stuck.

“It’s okay Kookie…”

Everyone was surprised at the deep and raspy voice intervention before they cocked their head to see Namjoon – now standing at the hallway with a stoic expression.

“Joonie?”

“I’m not little Yoongi – hyung…” refute Namjoon, still emotionless. Eyes fixated over Jungkook, his golden maknae.

“If it had makes you uncomfortable, I will stop being little…” Namjoon further said.

Everyone gasped at his decision meanwhile Jungkook eyes widen at the statement. He stares at his leader, feeling his heart hammering at how the eyes belong to Namjoon looks so sad and devastated. Jungkook holds his breath, hands fisted until it turns to white.

“Namjoon! Don’t say that, Jungkook just…”

“It is the best for all of us, Jin – hyung. And I’m sorry for the hassle though. I – I shouldn’t show my weakness when I'm the leader. But I just couldn’t control myself then. And now, I’ll be more careful…”

Jimin was about to say something to coax the leader but Namjoon just left the four and scurried away to his room. They heard the door been closed and now their eyes back to Jungkook. Boring at the maknae with anger and disappointment.

“Get a grip of yourself Jungkook and I want you to think about this thoroughly. For what you have done and how to settle this matter. I get it if you feel uncomfortable with little Namjoon, fine! I won’t ask you to accept his condition. He had done so much for us, asking for no return whatsoever and you! You can’t even do this shit for him? Shame on you Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook was flustered at Yoongi's outburst but couldn’t say anything to defend himself. As he knows that he was at fault. Listening to the heart wrench confession by the leader had makes his guilt to pile up – eating his inner conscience slowly.

Yoongi left the living room in anger, didn’t say any words or wait for Jungkook to retaliate. He was so pissed off that he knew if he stays any longer he will punch the maknae's face. He really wants to avoid such thing and making the matter worst. Namjoon didn’t deserve this.

Yoongi knocked on Namjoon's room three times, giving a hint that it was him. He heard a faint voice from inside asking him to come in. Yoongi heart almost combusts with agony when he saw Namjoon now sits on the edge of his bed, holding his Ryan – staring at it blankly.

Yoongi took a sit beside Namjoon. Both of them remained silent for a moment, indulging in their own thoughts.

“How long we have known each other Joon – ah? Eight years? Nine years?” asked Yoongi, initiate the conversation first.

Namjoon let out a soft chuckle. “Around that, hyung…”

Yoongi sighed deeply. “Sorry…” he said dejectedly.

Namjoon was taken aback and quickly tilted his head to the side to see Yoongi. “What was that for hyung? You had done nothing wrong!”

Yoongi stares blankly at the wall in front of him. Knowing that Namjoon will say such a thing to him. It’s Namjoon after all. He never gets mad or holds any grudge. He always gives. Give and give that he forgets to receive. His selfless act is one of the reasons why he had to hide his little space. Yoongi feels devastated thinking about it.

“We’ve been a friend for years Namjoon but I know nothing about your little space. What kind of friend am I? What kind of hyung am I? You had been dealing with great stress and you can’t even show it to us. You should be able to lean on us when you were tired or down, Namjoon. But it seems we had failed ourselves to do that for you…” said Yoongi, his voice a little bit shaken as he tried to hold up his tears.

Namjoon shook his head at the statement. “No hyung, don’t say that. I’m the leader of BTS. It is my duty to protect all of you. It’s been my responsibility to make sure that everyone is comfortable and happy…”

Yoongi turned his head to see Namjoon. “Then what about you Joon – ah?”

Namjoon let out a half-suppressed half which makes it sounded so sad in the ears of Yoongi. “I’m fine hyung. I’m happy as long as all of you happy…”

“Joon-ah... Why you…”

“Hyung, it’s okay. I’m fine. I am. And sorry for the trouble I cause all of you. As I said, I will be more careful in the future not to regress…” said Namjoon but there is some weigh in his voice. Like he had been holding himself from crying.

Yoongi took Namjoon’s hand and squeezed it lightly. It’s a gesture that he almost never do to any of his bandmates but Yoongi knows that Namjoon really needs him right now.

“No Joon-ah. I’m happy to be your caregiver. Everyone was excited to see you being the little. That’s mean you believe in us to take care of you. You trusted us to see your weakness. We were happy Joon-ah. So let us take care of you. Okay?” said Yoongi adamantly. He didn’t want Namjoon to think that being a little had makes everyone hates him.

Namjoon curved into a small smile as his eyes glistening with tears. He looks at Yoongi hand that holding his hand tightly, feeling his heart start to warming at the kind gestures.

“Is it okay for you hyung? I don’t want to be a burden to any of you…”

“No Joonie. We love you and little Joonie. We really care for you and it will be fun to be your caregivers…let us, let us do that for you, okay?”

“Hmm…"

"Joon-ah..."

"Hmm...okay…”

Yoongi laughed heartily at Namjoon’s agreement. “You should say it's okay daddy!” he said, teasing the leader, brush his shoulder playfully.

Namjoon grunts in embarrassment, hide his face with both of his hand. “Please hyung! It’s weird when I’m not in the little space…” whined Namjoon. His face had turned to crimson red.

Yoongi scoffs at Namjoon. “Daddy, huh? What a kink you have Joonie -ah…” taunts Yoongi further. He really likes to see how Namjoon flustered when he teased him about his little space.

“Hyung!!”

A boisterous laughed erupted in the room. Namjoon face getting redder and Yoongi almost get a cramp at his stomach for laughing so much. Yoongi glanced at Namjoon for a second before he smirks evilly.

Namjoon let out a loud squeak when Yoongi out of sudden tackle him down to the bed. When Namjoon tried to get up, Yoongi locked his lanky body with his hand on Namjoon’s chest and his short leg over the leader's waist.

“Hy-hyung? What’re you doing?” asked Namjoon as he is appalled at Yoongi’s action.

Yoongi then pressed Namjoon's head to his chest, grinning sheepishly when Namjoon squirmed in his embrace. “Let’s cuddle Joonie -ah…”

“But – but…hy-hyung, I’m not little… and…”

“Shhh… just let go of yourself Joonie. Don’t stress too much, okay. Daddy's here…don't worry…”

Namjoon breathe hitched at the soft and tender voice whispered by Yoongi. Making himself unconsciously regressed to his little space. He feels comfortable being hugged by the oldest rapper. It is odd actually since they had a different type of body. But at some point, Yoongi feels so warm and soft and Namjoon really likes how Yoongi’s hand hugged his lanky body.

Namjoon curved into a smile, slowly moved his hand to Yoongi's waist, tugging his shirt tightly. He leaned his head over Yoongi's chest, listening to the rapid heartbeat of the eldest. It was so serene and tranquil that Namjoon slowly entered the dreamland.

“Nite –  nite daddy… Joonie wove you…” he said incoherently, slurred in his speech before immediately fell asleep.

Yoongi chuckles softly. “Goodnight Joonie. Daddy loves you too…”

 





Chapter Text

 


 

Namjoon flickered shut his eyes when a bright light constantly harassing his sleep. The ray of sunshine had peeked through the curtain, making his eyes to sting as he tried to adapt with the brightness – which he finally gave up doing so when the fatigues had refrained him from waking up.

He stirred but he feels something had refrained his movement. Without even trying to open his eyes, he pouted feeling uncomfortable at the weight over his chest and torso. What was that?

“Ughh!” He grunts as his chest feels heavy, having difficulties to inhale and exhale because of the foreign weight. He further squirmed and he pushed away from the thing that is all over his body as hard as he can, huffing in displeased as he managed to catch his breath.

“Ouch, Joonie!”

Namjoon instantly opens his eyes, immediately turned his head where he saw the grumpy face belong to Yoongi – yawning out loud, lazily stretching his upper body before he shot up from the bed.

“Hy-hyung?”

Yoongi brows raised in confusion before he notices that Namjoon was not in his little space that morning. Yoongi shows his signature gummy smile, staring at the younger now slowly get up from the bed – looking at the eldest with a confused face.

“Morning baby boy…” said Yoongi sheepishly. Face evidently shows his playful demeanor. Wiggling his brows making Namjoon flush in red out of embarrassment.

“No hyung….please don’t do that. It’s weird…” whined Namjoon as he hides his face with his favorite Ryan blanket.

Yoongi laughed heartily at the response, pulled away the blanket to see Namjoon bashful expression. The younger looks really cute right now – hair messy like a bird's nest, cheek protrudes as he jutted his lower lips and eyes a little bit puffy.

Yoongi shoved his hand over Namjoon's curly hair, ruffling it fondly while the said male flinched at his gestures. “Aigoo our little Joonie….so cute!” teased Yoongi.

“Hyung!”

Another laughter erupted, making the younger to cross his arm to his waist, ogling at Yoongi with a pouty lip. Feeling annoyed that Yoongi had the tendency to tease him at the early morning. He wonders why did the elder wake up too early when he always treasured his sleeping time. Usually, Yoongi will wake up late when they didn’t have any schedule that day.

“Aish, Joon. Don’t be too salty. It’s still early. I’m the one that should be the grumpy one not you…” said Yoongi after he tones down a bit his laughter.

“It’s you who keeps on making fun at me!” sulk Namjoon, puffing his chubby cheek.

Yoongi chuckles at the complaint and at the same time his hand moves to pinch Namjoon's fleshy cheek. “Okay…okay… don’t be mad. Daddy sorry okay?”

Namjoon hitched at the name, batting his eyelashes staring at his caregivers. He was not in his little space at the moment but the way Yoongi been talking to him – so soft and gentle, makes him want to regress further. Which Namjoon refused to do so because he had something to discuss with Yoongi. And it’s urgent!

"I'm going to take shower. Let's have breakfast together Joon..."

Yoongi was about to leave when Namjoon grabbed his wrist and pulled Yoongi's small body to the bed again. Yoongi flumps on the soft mattress squinted his eyes to the younger – baffled to see the look on Namjoon's face; serious and uptight.

“About Kookie…”

Yoongi immediately clicked his tongue when he heard the name of the maknae, rolled his eyes in irritation when last night incident flashed into his mind.

“Hyung…”

Yoongi hummed lazily. “What is it?”

“Don’t – don’t be too harsh on him, hyung. He – he didn’t mean to hurt me or acted like that. He just… being overwhelmed by the whole incident. Like you and the rest of the member…”

Yoongi turned his head and stares at the male, expression clearly shown that he totally disagrees with Namjoon's statement.

“We didn’t react like he did, Namjoon. Instead of accepting the fact, he avoids it and said that he didn’t ready yet. What the hell he needs to be ready for?” fussed Yoongi, clearly infuriated when he thought about Jungkook.

Namjoon released a deep sighed at the rants. Feeling trapped in the middle, between Yoongi and Jungkook. He was trying to be fair and considerate. He had expected the mixed reaction of his members. But he didn’t want anyone to bear any burden because of his little space.

“Hyung… He’s still young. We – we should be able to assist him and gives him some advice. We shouldn’t put the weight on his shoulder more than he was able to handle. He’s our maknae hyung…” states Namjoon, voice a little bit strained with sadness. He wants Yoongi to understand Jungkook's situation.

“Joon -ah… you know how he had…”

“Hyung… he just needs the time. Like all of you…”

“Joon, we are different. Of course, we were shocked to know about the little space but we were able to comprehend the matter almost instantly. But Jungkook… he took a long time and he even did that to you…”

Namjoon shook his head at the allegation. Can’t agree with Yoongi’s reasoning. “Give him time hyung. He will come around, I believe that. As much as I believe that you and the rest will be my caregivers, I also believe Jungkook will be the same…”

Yoongi remained silent at the saying, didn’t want to argue further with Namjoon. He didn’t want to make the younger sad and his sullen expression had made his heart squeezed with agony. Yoongi hates to make Namjoon sad like that. After all, Namjoon is the leader of BTS, he is obliged to listen and to follow his lead.

“Well, I have nothing to say then. It’s up to you Joon. As long as he didn’t do the same thing again, I’m okay with that. Let’s give him some time as you said…”

“Thanks, hyung!” exclaimed Namjoon happily and curved into a wide smile, making his dimples to appear – deeply gorgeous.

Yoongi cooed at the view and his hand automatically pinched on the cheek, near his prudent dimple. “It's because you are too cute to handle…”

Namjoon giggles at the compliment, heart swell with joy and happiness. He knew Yoongi always has the soft spot for him, hardly decline any of his request which made the other members sometimes complaints at the unfair treatment.

Not that they were uneasy at the differences but it was more to playfully teasing him and Yoongi. They're aware the special bond they shared, befriended years before BTS debuted. That is why sometimes they always pushed Namjoon to say or to ask something to Yoongi because they know Yoongi won’t refuse or get mad at Namjoon.

 


 

“Joonie? Darling? Baby? Where are you going?”

Namjoon’s long leg immediately halted at all the sweet names before he turned his body to face Seokjin. And then he realized how everyone was at the dining table for breakfast – including Jungkook. None were eating and Namjoon heart sunk to his stomach when he knew that everyone actually waiting for him to join them.

Namjoon rubs the back of his neck in guilt before he answered. “Well, you know – actually Bang PD just called me and want to see me. So – so I need to go to the company…”

Seokjin groaned at the information, both hands now on the side of his hips – clearly dissatisfied with the situation. “It’s our off day Joonie. Why he wants to see you out of sudden?” he asks, voice gruff.

“I don’t know hyung. Maybe – maybe because of yesterday's fan meeting…”

It turns to awkwardly quiet while the rest of the members staring at Namjoon. Knowing that Namjoon was in trouble now when he had left the hall because accidentally regressed to his little space. Everyone gives him a concerned look and Namjoon feels edgy at the absolute attention towards him.

“Don’t worry. I’m – I'm okay…” he said as he wanted to assure his bandmates that everything is fine and he has controlled over it. No need to worry for no reason.

Seokjin sighed before he nods weakly. “Ok fine, but – but if you feel that you’re regressing out of sudden, just called us okay. I’m on number 2 of your speed dial…”

Namjoon just silently nods at Seokjin before he left the dorm.

“He didn’t even eat his breakfast!” grunts Seokjin when he saw the untouched kimbab on Namjoon's plate. He kind of upset that he let the younger to leave the dorm without eating anything.

“He’ll be fine hyung…”

Seokjin huffed in disappointment at Jimin's word. Knowing that Namjoon was not in his little space, he tried to be more positive that he will eat something before the meeting or later. Hopefully.

 


 

Namjoon fidgeting on his seat, looking around at the spacious room – feeling restless being alone with Bang Shin Hyuk. He always feels the tense whenever Bang PD want to meet him, especially if there was something happen like yesterday. Namjoon knows the reason for this sudden meeting, can’t help from shaking his legs out of nervousness.

“Yesterday…”

Namjoon devours his own saliva as his throat feels dry at the tautness in the voice belong to Bang PD. Eyes quivering at all places but Bang PD. He was too scared to see the expression.

“What happen?” asked Bang PD with unrelenting voice. His eyes stare at the leader of BTS who looks so edgy on the seat.

Namjoon plays with both of his thumbs, brushing it together until it turns to red – but keeps quiet as he didn’t know how to answer. He can’t tell Bang PD about his little space neither he could come out with some white lies.

“You know how the fans keep asking what had happened to you yesterday, right? Don’t you think you have the responsibility to explain to me, Kim Namjoon?”

Namjoon flinched at the harsh tone, feeling suffocated that Bang PD sounded disappointed at him. He knew he had makes the old man angry. Yet he has no valid reason to defend himself right now.

“As the leader of BTS, you have to be more responsible in your acts. You can’t just leave the event like that with no valid excuse…” continues Bang PD when Namjoon remained silent. He lowered his voice as he sees how Namjoon looks nervous.

Namjoon slowly lifts his head and meet with Bang PD's sharp eyes – heart dropped to his stomach at the view. The anger and disappointment can be seen clearly on his eyes and Namjoon feels his stomach churn at that. His stomach feels empty because he had skipped the breakfast this morning but the nauseous he had right now – he wants to puke everything he had ate last night and relished himself from the cramp all over his stomach.

“I – I am sorry… I just… feel sick out of sudden and – and…”

“But it doesn’t mean that you can leave the event without saying anything to the manager Namjoon. And the members too had gone home with you without prior notice. It’s totally wrong to do that!”

Namjoon breathe hitched at the rising voice and his eyes brimmed with tears when he saw the red face of Bang PD – clearly mad at him right now.

“So – sorry… it – it’s my mistake. They – they were worried about me that – that they didn’t have the time to tell anything to the manager… I apologized on their behalf, please PD – nim don’t get mad at them…”

Bang PD stares at Namjoon as he pleads for his bandmates. Despite being angry for what had happened at the fan meeting, his heart swells with pride when he saw how Namjoon defending his teammates.

Namjoon has always been known for his selfless act, absorbing all the negatives for the members and let all the positivity’s reached the rest of them. He was the bridge between the company and the members – a heavy burden he needs to bear as the leader of BTS.

“Namjoon…”

Namjoon holds his breath at his name, palms and forehead start to fickle with sweats.

“Sukhoon didn’t happy how you and the members treat him yesterday. He’s your manager but all of you left him at the event without a word. He almost resigned from his post and I need to coax him for him to stay…”

“PD – nim… I – I didn’t know that…” Namjoon apparently shocked at the sudden news, voice shaken as he feels guilty how the things had turned to worst.

“He's the new manager and had been working for all of you about one month only. I know it’s hard for you to get used to each other. But at least don’t treat him like he has no value at all…”

Namjoon eyes widen at the accusation, vigorously shook his head to deny as such. “No, no PD – nim. We – we never did that to him. Sukhoon – hyung is our manager and of course, we respect him. No one ever dares to be rude or acted wrongly towards him. No… it’s not true…”

Bang PD sighed as Namjoon try to explain himself and defending his bandmates. “Sukhoon said that all of you ignores him and makes him run behind the van yesterday…”

“That – that’s not true! We will notice him if he was chasing us or…” rebut Namjoon instantly, voice rising as he was shocked at the accusation.

“So you were saying he lied to me?” intervene Bang PD with an accusatory tone. Eyes on Namjoon - murderously.

Namjoon’s shoulder immediately slumps before he shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant…”

“This is final warning Namjoon. Tell your bandmates too. I won’t tolerate if any of you misbehave towards any BigHit staff. And Sukhoon is your manager, you have to respect him…”

Namjoon feels so wrong. To say that he was angry won’t be a total lie. What had Sukhoon said to Bang PD that makes the old man become so mad about yesterday? And why did Sukhoon said everyone is rude against him? As far as Namjoon concern, no one ever acted like that. They had respected Sukhoon the same as they did to Sejin.

Namjoon massaged his temple, feeling the headache started to become more prominent. He feels trapped and discomfort. When Bang PD said he can leave the room, Namjoon quietly gets up from the chair and bid a silent goodbye to the said male.

Namjoon feels the fatigue starts to engulf him and the urge to regress like a ticking bomb. He wants to go home and cuddles with his caregivers. He didn’t care either it’s Yoongi or Seokjin or even Jimin. He just wants to get away from here.

However, when he stepped out from the room Namjoon was appalled to see Sukhoon – leaning on the wall in front of Bang PD's room, hand crossed to the waist. And Namjoon frowned when he saw the smirk on Sukhoon face. What was that?

 

(CW : ⚠️)

“I guess Bang PD had told you right?” he said snobbishly.

Namjoon arched further his brows, notice the difference in Sukhoon's tone. And Namjoon didn’t feel good about it. “Why did you told PD-nim that we left you at the scene? You know that we never do that right? Yesterday, we were…”

“I saw you Namjoon,” interrupts Sukhoon, ignoring Namjoon question completely.

Namjoon was flabbergasted. “Saw what?”

Sukhoon let out a soft chuckle before he moved forwards, making the distance between him and Namjoon become closer. He can see how Namjoon's body tensed and he smiles evilly. “I saw how you’re acting weird… you know…”

Namjoon took a deep breath while his eyes stare at Sukhoon – obviously shocked. He starts to shake a little bit when he saw the dark expression of their new manager. Namjoon let out a small yelp when Sukhoon suddenly grabbed both of his forearms, burying his nail on the flesh. Namjoon winced in pain at the violent act.

“I know how you were acting like a child, Namjoon. I saw how you’re crying yesterday. Oh, and what we called it? Little space? Isn’t that right?” whispered Sukhoon.

“Wh – what are you…”

“You are being too careless Namjoon. A dirty secret like that shouldn’t be shown in public. But you… you as the leader of BTS acted like a child… isn’t that interesting? How do you think the Army will think about you? Disgusting? Retarded? Shameful?”

Namjoon gritted his teeth at the statement, looking at Sukhoon with his glassy eyes. He tried so hard not to show to the male that he had slowly regressed to his headspace, fisting both of his hand until the knuckles turn to white.

“What – what do you want Sukhoon?” asked Namjoon stammering as he tried not to sound like a little kid in fear. Which he failed to do so.

Sukhoon scoffs at the audacity but he did notice the changes in Namjoon's voice. He hovered his eyes up and down like he was scanning Namjoon' s whole body. He smugly smiles when he can see how the body is now trembling.

“Well… I’m not going to tell anyone about your secret… but you need to listen to me. Understand?”

“If - if I don’t?” refute Namjoon.

Sukhoon laughed at the answer. “You won’t like that Namjoon. You have no idea of what I am capable to do. To you...and to your friends. You didn’t want me to do something bad to your friends right?” threatens Sukhoon. Purposely used the word ‘friends’ to provoke Namjoon, knowing how Namjoon always been protective towards his bandmates.

Namjoon eyes widen in horror. “No! Don’t – don’t touch them. I won’t let you harm any of my friends!”

Sukhoon let go of his grip over Namjoon's forearm, raised his hand to his cheek before he pats on it a few times. “Then you need to listen to me baby boy. Okay?”

(CW : ⚠️END)

 

Namjoon feels his body weaken at the gesture and he almost collapses on the floor after Sukhoon left him alone on the corridor - going into Bang PD's room. Namjoon clenched on his clothed chest, feeling the escalated heartbeat due to the harrowing situation. His tears slowly rolling down to his cheek as he crouched down and leaned his body to the wall.

This is too much to handle. Namjoon thought to himself. He couldn’t breathe properly, he tries to look for someone nearby but no one was there. He can see his shaking hand when he took out his phone. When he tapped on the screen, Namjoon brows curved in confusion.

There’s a password need to be filled in. As his vision blurry because of his accumulated tears, he tries a few times but failed. He can’t remember the password. Namjoon let out a small sob, whining when he failed to open it. He needs to call Seokjin!

Namjoon gets up from the floor, looking so lost that the hallway seems too wide and far and quiet. And why did the light seems off?

“Daddy?” his voice sounded so small as he walked through the corridor – legs wobbled on each step.

“Dada?” Namjoon starts to sobs when he can’t find any of his caregivers. The building looks so strange and he didn’t even know where he is right now. His mind totally slipped into the little space.

“Ap – appa? Where are you? Joonie… scawed!”

There’s no one there as he kept walking around. Namjoon didn’t like how quiet the floor was, feeling scared that someone or something might come out and takes him somewhere. He wants his Daddy right now!

Namjoon almost screamed when someone had grabbed his forearm and forcefully swirled his body to face the culprit.  Eyes widen in fear and his heart hammering out loud, like it's going to burst.

“Why are you crying? What happened?”

Namjoon let out a choking sound when he saw that person, immediately swoop his body forward and embraced the said male in a tight hug. He hides his face on the nape of the male, let out his tears and starts to cry.

“Uff!!” the said male groaned at the sudden impact and both almost fall on the ground if the male didn’t manage to catch his lanky body and instantly leans on the wall.

“Hyungie!!!”

 





 • 

Chapter Text

 


 

“Hyungie!!!”

 

Jungkook was appalled when Namjoon suddenly hugged him, making him to stumble a few steps backward. Despite the unexpected action he managed to hold himself from falling and leaned on the wall. 

“Wha – what happened hyung?” He asked. But Jungkook eyes widen when Namjoon sobs turn to a loud crying as he keeps nuzzle his face on Jungkook’s neck. Without hesitation, his hand moved to rub up and down on Namjoon's back and his other hand cupped the back of his head tenderly. 

“Hyungie! Joo – joonie scawed…” sobs Namjoon, voice muffled but still audible.

Jungkook frowned at the saying, wonder what had happened for the leader to feel scared. He remembered that this morning he had a meeting with Bang PD about the incident at the fan meeting.

Did Bang PD get mad at Namjoon? But it will be too ridiculous since everyone knows how much Bang PD adores Namjoon like his own son.

“Calm down hyung…just breathe and tell me what’s happen…” Jungkook tries to coax the leader. His voice sounded awkward since Namjoon was in the little space and Jungkook still couldn’t grasp on how to deal with little Namjoon. Unlikely Yoongi and Seokjin. But he tried. 

Namjoon shook his head, refused to tell Jungkook. He tightens his grip on Jungkook's, buried his face further on the shoulder blade as he continues to cry. He just want the maknae to hold him, make him to feel safe and to assure him that everything will be fine. 

“What’s happening here?”

Jungkook was taken aback at the foreign voice before he realized that it's Bang PD. Jungkook starts to feel nervous with the presence of the said male, afraid that he will notice the differences in Namjoon. He obviously can see how he is frowning when he saw how Namjoon had been hugging him.

“What happen to Namjoon?” Bang PD asks with curiosity. 

Jungkook devours in nervousness. He looks straight into Bang PD's eyes and he is aware that Sukhoon was standing behind Bang PD, also waiting for him to explain about Namjoon. Shit! 

“Ah – actually – actually Namjoon-hyung didn’t feel well. He – he feels dizzy and I’m just trying to hold him…” Jungkook lies, slightly stammering that he just couldn’t muster up the excuse efficiently.

Bang PD frowned and look at the two suspiciously. But then he remembered how Namjoon had told him before that he didn’t feel good since yesterday at the fan meeting. 

“So I guess he's really sick. You two should go back to the dorm, then. And don’t forget to bring Namjoon to the doctor…” says the old man. 

Jungkook nods wildly at the suggestion. “Yes – yes I will…”

“Sorry that I can't send you both. I and Sukhoon has an important meeting and we need to go…” explained Bang PD, a little bit guilty that he couldn't give a hand to help Namjoon and Jungkook. 

Jungkook shook his head. “It's okay PD-nim, I’ll handle this…just go to the meeting…fast!” Jungkook knows he sounds too desperate for Bang PD to leave right now and how bad his acting was but he just need to do it. 

Bang PD nods before he pats on Namjoon's back. “Get well soon, son…” he says in fatherly voice, worry evidently shows on his face. Namjoon squirmed, hummed as a response as he refuses to show his crying face to Bang PD. 

“You should take care of your health Namjoon. The tour is coming and you need to be fit for that…” Sukhoon raised his concern – faking it effortlessly in front of Jungkook. 

“We will hyung. Don’t worry…” Jungkook answered on behalf of Namjoon. His brows shoot up when Namjoon pressed his body closer and he makes a whimpering sound hearing Sukhoon's voice and how his body stiffen at the presence of the new manager. 

Sukhoon smiles to Jungkook which he failed to notice that it was actually an evil smirk. He then slowly put his hand over Namjoon's forearm, moves slowly up and down caressing the leader. 

“Be careful Namjoon. Don’t get sick because you know how much I – well, the boys need you…” he says with a soft and tender voice, almost whispering. 

Namjoon’s flinched at the reminder, had goosebumps out of fear and his tears rolled down to his cheek like a river. He hides his face further on the crook of Jungkook's neck – refused to see Sukhoon. The touch by the latter male feels like fire and he squirmed further – he hates that filthy hand touching his body.

Jungkook bows his head slightly when Sukhoon dismissed himself and leave the two alone. Sukhoon let out a slow chortle, feeling amused to see how Namjoon looks scared just now.

The time will come when you will be in my hand, Kim Namjoon!

“Hyung…”

“No! Joonie scawed. Hyungie… Joo – joonie scawed…”

When Namjoon starts to wheeze and let out a choking sound, Jungkook immediately knows that the leader was on the verge of a panic attack.  Jungkook looks around and relieved that no one nearby and he needs to make sure Namjoon is subtle enough before he can bring him back home. They shouldn’t stir any attention that will jeopardize their image. 

Without breaking the hug; because Namjoon won’t let him – Jungkook slowly moves forward, heading towards the restroom at the end of the floor. It was a hassle to walk when someone as big as Namjoon was clinging to him and Jungkook walked like a robot.  

The cry now had turned into a pitiful sob when both of them entered the restroom. Namjoon keeps on clinging onto Jungkook, won’t let go of his hand. Jungkook huffed at the situation. Not that he got irritated but more on to the restricted movement. 

“Ok hyung…let go now. I have to see your face… okay?” Jungkook says while he pats on Namjoon's back. 

“No…!!” Namjoon whined, shook his head wildly. 

Jungkook took a deep breath, trying to compose himself dealing with the stubborn Namjoon. “Come on, hyung…” he said as he tries to push Namjoon's body from his. “Don’t be a brat and listen to me…” he continues. 

Namjoon breathe hitched at the mention of ‘brat’, slowly pulled away from Jungkook, sniffles in sadness and head dangled down to the floor – still crying. 

Jungkook’s heart sunk at the sight, how puffy the eyes and it had turned to bright red because of the non-stop crying by the elder. He approached Namjoon slowly before he placed both of his hand on Namjoon's waist. 

“Let me put you on the counter, okay?” Jungkook carefully told Namjoon, waiting for him to say yes or anything equivalent to it. He flashed a small smile when Namjoon nods his head. Jungkook then lift Namjoon in one attempt, makes sure Namjoon sits on the counter safely. His long leg dangling down. 

He then tapped on the faucet, wetting his hand before he helped Namjoon washed his face – clearing the remaining tears and snot on his face so that Namjoon will feel fresh again. Namjoon just let the maknae do whatever he thinks right and watched how attentive Jungkook been treating him. 

“Did – did you hate me because I’m a bwat?”

Jungkook halted in whatever he is doing, immediately cocked his head towards the elder – who had been fidgeting in nervousness, swaying his feet back and forth. He looks really edgy and in the brimmed of tears. Looking at Jungkook with his round doe eyes. 

Jungkook bits his lips before he clears his throat as it feels suddenly dry and scratchy. “Hyung, I never – don’t, you know… I was…”

“You don’t want to be Joonie hyungie?” 

Jungkook almost choked on his own saliva, looking at Namjoon with a mix of emotion. His lips parted, trying to say something to deny the allegation but Namjoon had beaten him first. 

“You hate little Joonie?” 

Jungkook wasn’t able to give any reason or excuse when Namjoon broke down into another crying fit, reverberated in the empty restroom. They were lucky there’s no one in there. 

Oh shit! Jungkook cursed to himself before he swoops his body and embraced Namjoon into another hug. He caressed the back of the elder as he starts to hiccup, shushing the male to stop crying. 

“No, hyu – Joonie… no, hyungie don’t hate you. Hyungie is sorry that hyungie being really bad. Hyungie just – just need time. Okay. Don’t cry… Hyungie like Joonie, so please stop crying…”

Jungkook runs his fingers through Namjoon's smooth silky hair as he keeps pats the back of the little. “Don’t cry little one. Hyungie doesn’t hate Joonie…” he continues to cajole the little. 

Jungkook twitched into a smile when he realized how Namjoon's tense body start to loosen up a little bit and his crying dissipated into a small sob, hiccupping a little bit but at least he had become calmer than before. 

Jungkook slowly distancing himself, bend his head a little bit and peeked to see Namjoon's flushed face. A drop of clear salty liquid secreted from glands in his eye was clearly seen on his face. Jungkook feels guilty that he was the reason for such tears been shed by the elder – partly. 

Jungkook wipes those priceless tears with his thumbs and cupped the face of the elder gently. “I’m sorry okay?” he says in a soothing voice as if he was dealing with something fragile – afraid he will break Namjoon. 

Namjoon cocked his head to the side adorably. “Sowie? Why hyungie sowie?” he asked in a slurred voice. 

Jungkook chuckles before he pressed his head on Namjoon's forehead. Continue to emit a peal of slow laughter when Namjoon puffing his cheek – didn’t understand as to why the maknae was laughing. 

“Sorry for everything. I’ll treat you better. I promise I’ll be a good hyungie to Joonie…”

Namjoon eyes glistening at the statement, looking at Jungkook with joy that he wants to be Namjoon's caregiver.

“Weally? Hyungie wan – wan to be Joonie hyungie? Pway wif Joonie? Sweep wif Joonie? And – and hewp Joonie color – color sailor moon?”

Jungkook let out a breathily laughter at the saying before he nods his head – agrees to do all the thing list down by Namjoon. “Hyungie promise!” 

“Pinkie pwomise?” Namjoon shoved his pinky finger in front of Jungkook’s face with hopeful eyes. 

Jungkook smiles before he locks his pinky finger with Namjoon's together, sealing the promise with Namjoon, to signify that once made can never be broken. 

Namjoon giggles happily as he shook their entangled fingers together. “Pinky – pinky bow bell. Whoever tells a lie, will sink down to - to the bad place, and - and never rise up again,” he sing-song the chants gleefully. 

Jungkook laughs at the cute pinky swear song, ruffling the little's hair fondly. Looking at how calm Namjoon was now, Jungkook stares at the male before he asked the question. 

“So, Joonie…can you tell me what had happened earlier? Why are you crying?”

Namjoon flinched at the sudden question, didn’t expect that his caregiver was going to ask him about it. He thought it was long forgotten and he himself already concealed himself from the memory. 

Namjoon fiddling with his fingers, feeling the edginess overpowering his conscience – slowly his eyes welled up in tears. The image of Sukhoon flashed to his mind and his threats make his breathing hitched in fear. 

“Hey… don’t be scared. Hyungie is here for you. I’ll protect you so don’t you worry and just tell me…” coax Jungkook when he saw Namjoon’s body shaking a little bit. 

Namjoon sniffles and his lips were trembling. “Joonie – joonie no wan to talk. Joonie scawed…”

“But Joonie…”

“Joonie wanna go home!” wailed Namjoon, feeling suffocated being interrogate like that. He didn’t like the feeling when someone trying to force him to do something he didn’t like. 

Jungkook was flabbergasted at the reaction, quickly hugged Namjoon. “Okay…okay… hyungie sorry. Let’s – let’s go home baby…”


 

Jungkook groaned at the heavyweight as he carries Namjoon who had clinging to him like a koala. The said male had fallen asleep in the car and Jungkook has to carry him to the dorm. Thanks to the gym classes and the consistent exercise he had been doing that he managed to lift Namjoon much easier. It still caused some problem but he was able to manage it. Better than Yoongi.

Jungkook rang the bell since it's hard for him to move his finger to punch the passcode on the door – both were holding Namjoon's thigh, preventing the male from slipping down. 

He heard a loud gasped when the main door is being open and when he averted his eyes he saw Seokjin’s shocked face. 

“What happen??!!” he whispers yelled at Jungkook when he realized Namjoon was sleeping soundly. 

Jungkook let out a soft grunt, didn’t answer the question of the eldest before he entered the dorm. A few steps scurried around the living hall can be heard and everyone swamp at Jungkook and Namjoon with the same expression as Seokjin.

“Give him to me…” says Yoongi. Not that he hates Jungkook but he notices his frown while he had been carrying Namjoon. 

Yoongi was trying to take Namjoon from Jungkook when Namjoon whimpers and whined at the touch – tighten his arms on Jungkook’s neck. 

“No! Wan hyungie!!”

“It’s okay hyung… I got him…” 

Yoongi raised his brows in confusion at the situation, giving a glance at Seokjin who had been staring at him with questioning looks too. 

Jungkook brings Namjoon to the couch, carefully slumps his ass on the couch where he carefully moves Namjoon to his lap. Namjoon buried his face on Jungkook's shoulder blade while his hand on the male’s neck and waist. He didn’t even open his eyes – a hint that he is still sleepy. 

“What happen?” asked Seokjin as everyone settled down at the living room – gawking at Jungkook. 

“I – I don’t know. I found him in front of Bang PD's office and he was crying. He said he was scared of something. But when I asked him about what he just keeps crying. So I brought him home…” explained Jungkook. 

Everyone gasped at the explanation. Namjoon whined at the noise, nuzzle his face further to Jungkook's chest.  Jungkook can sense the discomfort immediately pats on his thigh slowly, lulled Namjoon back to his sleep.

Seokjin and Yoongi realized the changes between Jungkook and Namjoon before both of them exchanging their gaze meaningfully. Seokjin flashed a soft smile which been reciprocated by the oldest rapper – contended that Jungkook finally was able to accept Namjoon as a little. 

“Maybe he had regressed to the little space after the meeting with PD-nim. It doesn’t look good to me…” told Jungkook, concern evidently shows in his voice. 

Seokjin sighed at the statement. “We shouldn’t let him go alone. Since we already know about his little space and how he will regress when he is stressed, we need to go with him next time. At least someone needs to accompany him.” 

Everyone nods in agreement. They were worried that Namjoon might accidentally slip into little space like this again in the future. And without his caregivers around it will be too dangerous. Someone might saw Namjoon and will take advantage of it. 

“We’re lucky that I’m the one who had found him there…” tell Jungkook a little bit relieved. He was thankful that he decided to go to the company to do some errands this morning.

At first, he feels so stuffy in the dorm where Yoongi had been giving him a cold stare. He didn’t mean to meet Namjoon there though. It's just a coincidence that he was on the same floor before he saw Namjoon's crouching down on the floor – looking so lost and haggard. 

“You did a good job Kookie!” compliments Seokjin, giving the maknae a proud smile. 

“Thanks, hyung. And – and I’m sorry for being a brat. I know I shouldn’t react like that and I have no excuse to say that I have a good reason to do that. It's my fault and I will do my best to be Namjoon hyung caregiver...”

Everyone looks at their golden maknae with a smile as no one ever had a grudge towards him. They were relieved that Jungkook didn’t take too long to accept his role as the caregiver. 

“I’m sorry too for getting mad at you. We should discuss this peacefully but instead, I just snapped…” Yoongi apologized to the maknae. Realized how he had been exaggerated for scolding Jungkook. He should give him the time to grasp on everything as Namjoon said. He just being impatient. 

Jungkook shook his head. “No hyung. You have the reason to get mad. I should be more understanding. Sorry for the problem I caused to all of you…”

Seokjin clapped his hand to break the uptight conversation. “Okay let’s end this sentimental talks and decides what’s to eat for dinner…” he said chirpily trying to lift up the mood. 

“I want a fried chicken hyung!” says Taehyung. 

“I think we need to eat something healthy. I’m sure Namjoon didn’t eat yet today…” suggest Yoongi as his eyes drifted to the sleeping Namjoon on Jungkook's lap. 

Seokjin nods. “I’ll cook then. And all of you need to help me except Jungkook…” he says while he pointed his finger on each member. 

The members whined at the words before they clasped their hand over the mouth when Namjoon once again whimpers at the noise. 

“Shh… hyungie here…just sleep, baby…” Jungkook caressed Namjoon's hair gently. 

Everyone cooed at how attentive Jungkook was right now. The golden maknae’s face flushed in red when all eyes on him with a playful smile plastered on their face. 

“Wait!” 

Everyone flinched at the sudden whisper yelled by Taehyung, looking at him with confusion. 

Taehyung let out a heavy breath, pouted his lips before he speaks his mind. “Why Jungkook is the hyung? I want a nickname too! Only me has no specific name as the caregiver!” he complains, both hand now crossed to his waist with dissatisfaction. 

“Don’t forget me…” intervenes Hoseok with a dejected voice – feeling sad that Namjoon didn’t give him a name yet. His sullen expression was an obvious statement that he is sad too. 

The other four rolled their eyes at the demeanor of the two. 

“Let’s ask him when he is awake,” Seokjin says.  Hoseok seems to agree with that and he can’t wait to know what will Namjoon called him. He needs to think a better name and suggested it to Namjoon.

Maybe Papa or Dad? Which one is better?

“Well, can I ask him to call me oppa then?”

“Taehyung!!”






 

 

Chapter Text

 


This chapter is a pure fluff 🙊


 

Taehyung: “Well, can I ask him to call me oppa then?”  

 

Namjoon eyes widen when he saw his favorite chicken nugget in front of him. He woke up still in his little space as Jungkook brings him to the dining table. After helping the little to sit properly, Jungkook took the seat beside Yoongi.

Namjoon squirmed on his chair, a little bit too excited to start eating dinner. Meanwhile, his other members were swooning over his cuteness. Namjoon was about to take one of the nugget before Seokjin smacked his hand – not too soft but not too harsh either.

Namjoon pouted, looking at Seokjin a little bit angry. “Why appa? Joo-Joonie hungwy!” he whined.

Seokjin moves his pointing finger left and right while he clicked his tongue. “No, baby. No nugget until you finish your rice…” he says firmly.

Namjoon gnawed his lips – obviously sulking. He shifted his gaze over his bowl full of rice, making a face of dislike. “No-no…no wice…Joonie no wike wice, appa…” he pleads with his doe eyes, jiggling his head wildly.

Seokjin peered his eyes towards the little. Frowning at his refusal to eat the rice. He always knows how Namjoon really loves food. He ate a lot and have no concern over his diet. He basically eats everything except seafood. He never says no to food and gobbled everything as much as he can. He always fascinated by how much Namjoon can stuff the food into his flat stomach.

Ignoring the little, Seokjin pushed the rice bowl closer to Namjoon, making him let out a long whine. “Eat this then you can get the nugget, Joonie. Okay?” coaxed Seokjin again.

Namjoon puffed his cheek, shaking his head while his eyes prick with tears. “No! Joonie wan nugget!” he protested.

Seokjin averted his eyes towards the other members that were watching the whole drama – asking for help to persuade the little to eat his rice. Seokjin rolled his eyes when everyone nozzle out their lips towards Yoongi.

Yoongi squinted his eyes with irritation at his members' antics before he looks at Seokjin. “Do you think I'm the right person to coax him, Jin-hyung?” he asked nonchalantly, showing his emotionless face.

“At least try ‘daddy’…” Seokjin notes, purposely emphasize the words ‘daddy’ while he glared at the oldest rapper.

Yoongi groaned at the statement before he turned to face the sulking Namjoon. “Hey, Joonie…just eat the rice and you can have the nugget later…”

Namjoon shook his head, jutted his lips further. “Joonie wan nugget daddy! No wice pwease…” begged him as the droplet of tears flows from the damp of his eyes.

Yoongi took a breather, glancing at Seokjin that obviously started to stress himself for Namjoon's bratty attitude. Actually, no one ever expects for Namjoon to act like that in a little space. It is natural for the leader to be understanding and being responsible for everything. He never complaints unless he really needs to do so. But basically, it was rarely done by the leader.

Dealing with this new personality really had testing their patience. Everyone visibly on the edge and maybe someone might explode if Namjoon keeps on refusing to take his dinner. Who knows who.

“Joonie, it's not good for your tummy if you only eat nugget. You need decent food first. And listen to your appa and daddy, please…”

Namjoon lips tremble as he starts to sobs when he heard the stern voice of his daddy, looking at him with a displeased expression. He knows his appa on the verge of losing his patience. However, being a little, he couldn’t comprehend properly the consequences if he keeps on being stubborn.

It is natural for a three years old kid to throw a tantrum when they didn’t get what they want. And this also happens to our Joonie. He just acted out of his gut, pursuing his innocent demand to have his nugget instead of rice. He thought he was doing something right.

Namjoon pushed away the bowl and maybe a little bit harsher. The bowl tilted and slowly rolling on the table before it fell onto the floor - breaking the precious bowl belongs to Seokjin into pieces.

The situation was eerily quite and you can’t even hear anyone taking a breath at the commotion. Yoongi was taken aback at the rebellious act, Seokjin face reddened to see his favorite bowl on the floor and the rest was apparently shocked – watching the three with wide eyes and mouth agape.

Namjoon stares at the broken bowl as his heart sunk to his stomach and hammering out loud. His hand was shaking when he averted his eyes and meet with his appa's murderous gaze.

“Joo-Joonie sowie appa…” he said with apologetic shaken voice before he broke into a crying fit, chanting the words sorry repeatedly. "Joonie sowie!!!"

Seokjin was cut off from his trance, flabbergasted when Namjoon crying out loud. He instantly crouching in front of Namjoon and took his shaking hand into his. He gawked over at the little face now soaking wet with tears and how his face flushed with red due to the crying. 

“It’s okay, darling. Don’t cry… it's okay… no need to be sad about it, okay?” he coaxed the little, squeezing his hands as an assurance that he didn't mad at him.

To say he didn’t feel sad when he saw the bowl on the floor, it will be a total lie. It was one of his collection and now had one deficit. It will bug him forever and he might be upset that the set is now incomplete.  He wants to scold at the leader and ranting over how difficult to have the same pattern again –  since it’s a special edition.

But looking at how sad and apologetic the look of the little, Seokjin's heart melted right away. Who can get mad at cute and adorable Namjoon? Not when he said he was sorry in a cute tiny voice. It's okay if the set had lack one bowl, as long as Namjoon didn’t cry. It makes his heart ached terribly when he saw the tears.

Maybe, this is what a real parent actually feel when their precious children were crying. They give out their heart immediately. Ignores all the wrong and mistakes, brace their weakness with love. Because the parent will do anything for the sake of their children's happiness. That's what their heart was made for.

Namjoon looks at his appa through his wet eyelashes and glanced at the broken bowl. “Joonie…Joonie sowie appa. The bowl… the bowl…”

Seokjin hugged the little, rubbing his back up and down as Namjoon keeps on crying on his shoulder's blade. He can feel the tears over his t-shirt and Seokjin feels even more sorry that he had shown his angry face towards the younger.

“It's okay. Appa not angry at Joonie…” he said before he loosens up his embrace and stares at Namjoon. Seokjin sighed in agony, wiping the tears on Namjoon's face with his palm.

“Appa will clean this first. Don’t move and stay still. I don’t want you to get hurt…”

Namjoon nods while hiccupping, watching his caregiver get up and took the broom and start to sweep away the broken glass. He makes sure that none of the shattered pieces been left out before he came back to the dining table with a new bowl full of rice. This time it's plastic. Better be safe than sorry!

“Now eat this and no more acting up…” said Seokjin with a serious tone. Everyone at the dining table was watching the elder in nervousness, afraid that Namjoon will throw another tantrum.

Up to their relieves, Namjoon took the spoon and feed the rice to his mouth, without breaking the eye contact with Seokjin.

“Joo-Joonie eats appa…” he said, still let out a few hiccups. He has no gut to cause any trouble again after the bowl incident.

Seokjin smiles and ruffled the hair of the little fondly. “Good boy!” he says before he dragged the chair and sit. He glanced at his other members with a glare. “Eat!” he said sternly.

Everyone was flustered at the command, instantly took their bowl and eat quietly. An angry Seokjin was scarier than grumpy Yoongi. They won’t bet on their head to mess with the eldest. Not when he just lost his precious bowl.

“I think Joonie should call you eomma rather than appa, hyung. You look like those typical mothers when you were handling Joonie's attitude…”

Everyone gasped at the comment made by Taehyung, looking at him incredulously. Couldn’t believe he was able to pull himself to say such thing at the crucial moment.

“Ow! Why are you kicking me Jungkook?!” squeaked Taehyung when Jungkook kicks his calves, a little bit too hard.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at his absentminded. Everyone was giving him the look but Taehyung just shrugs and dismissed the reaction.

Seokjin scoffs at Taehyung weird antics. However he didn’t feel hurt at his comment, already knows about his odd personality. “I’m not a woman for him to call me eomma, Tae…” noted Seokjin.

Seokjin always emphasized his chagrin over the nickname given by some of the army. How he didn’t like to be called as ‘eomma’. It is understandable that some of them may picturize Seokjin role as the mother of BTS because of his caring personality. But it doesn’t mean that it is appropriate to call him ‘eomma’ because of that.

“I don’t think Joonie had considered Jin-hyung as eomma too. If not he won’t be calling him as appa in his little space…” said Jimin, justifying the situation.

“Yeah, I know that. I know Jin-hyung hates when someone calls him eomma…” agrees Taehyung while he munched his food deliciously.

Seokjin then let out a boisterous laugh, making everyone frowning at his odd response. Seokjin wipes his happy tears before he starts to speak. “It will be funny if he called me eomma, you know! That's mean I’m married to Yoongi…” he says in between of his laughter.

Yoongi let out a small grunt at the joke before he laughed together with everyone. The tension at the dining table earlier slowly dissipated and their stiffen body loosen up comfortably.

“Why appa laugh?”

Seokjin tilted his head towards the confuse little before he shook his head. “Nothing Joonie. It’s just an adult talk…”

Namjoon pouted, feeling been left out by his caregivers because he didn’t understand why are they laughing. He puts his spoon to the side, tugged on Seokjin's sleeves.

“Yes, Joonie?”

“Nugget pwease…”

Seokjin changed his gaze to his bowl, already half eaten before he spares his eyes at the little hopeful face. “Well since you eat your rice, appa will give you the nugget…”

Namjoon grinned happily, bouncing on his seat while he waits for Seokjin to put the nugget into his plate. A plastic plate of course. He claps his hand gleefully when he saw the chicken nugget and hastily take a bite. Eyes sparkles as the taste of the chicken nugget fill in his mouth.

“It-it's dewishes appa!!” he squealed.

Seokjin and his other caregivers laughed at his cute reaction and swooning at how he looks so happy eating his nugget.

“Eat slowly Joonie…” Seokjin reminded when he saw how his cheek bulged as he eats the nugget hastily. Namjoon grinned showing his mouth full of nugget before he swallows his food carefully.


 

Everyone was scattered around on the living hall for movie time after dinner. Yoongi, Seokjin, and Hoseok took the long couch meanwhile the maknae line sit on the floor. Namjoon were lying in front of them, coloring his favorite Sailormoon.

“Can we watch Annabelle?” asked Jungkook, wiggling his brows playfully.

Everyone gasped at the suggestion, narrowed down their eyes towards the maknae. They were begrudgingly staring at the maknae, didn’t understand why he needs to choose a horror film to spend their movie time together.

“You did aware that we have a little kid here right?” says Seokjin as he pointed at Namjoon who was too engulfed in his coloring activity.

Jungkook whined. “But hyung, I want to watch it…”

“Let's choose another film Kook-ah. A safer one since Namjoon is a little right now. You don’t want him to pee himself right?” Hoseok mentioned. Either it is for Namjoon or himself, Hoseok didn’t prefer to watch a horror movie. It was not his cup of tea. Never.

“I think it is you that will pee in your pant hyung!” teased Taehyung as the other laughed. They already know how easily Hoseok got scared.

Hoseok snarled at the younger. “Yah! Respect your hyung!”

Taehyung stuck out his tongue playfully and Hoseok smacks the back of his head. Yoongi shook his head watching his members goofing around.

“No horror movie. Joonie’s here…” he said with an assertive tone, looking at Jungkook with a stoic expression.

Jungkook huffed in disappointment before he clicks on the movie list to see any other interesting film to watch. He didn’t realize how Namjoon had been moved closer to him to see what he is doing.

Namjoon eyes lock on the screen, trailing over the movie's poster shown on the television. “Joonie wike that!!” he shouted excitedly pointed at the television.

Jungkook stops pressing the remote and everyone mouth gaped looking at the poster shown in the screen. Jungkook slowly turned his head towards the rest of the member to see their expression.

“Minion…Hyungie its minion! Joonie wan Minion!” he exclaimed as his eyes fixated on the screen – too happy to see the poster of The Despicable Me. One of his favorite movie.

Jungkook bites his lips. “What now?” he whispers at his members.

Seokjin rolled his eyes before he beckons on the younger to select the movie as requested by Namjoon. They won’t be able to decline his request though. Especially when he already crawled over and let himself squished in between Taehyung and Jimin on the floor.

Jimin and Taehyung were glad to have Namjoon closed to them, giving him the space needed. Taehyung took the koya blanket given by Seokjin and put on Namjoon's lap. Namjoon grinned sheepishly as he hugged his Ryan firmly to his chest.

It was almost twelve midnight when the movie ended and Namjoon already has fallen asleep – rested his head onto Taehyung's shoulder. They move quietly, didn’t want to wake up the little and start to put aside all the pillows they have to watch the movie earlier.

“He’s sleeping hyung…” said Taehyung, still didn’t move from his place, peeking on Namjoon's sleeping face. A soft snores emitted by the male as his lips parted slightly. Cutie!

“Well, someone needs to pick him up then…” Seokjin said.

Jungkook volunteered himself, agreed by the rest since he is the most capable of doing so without any hassle. He slowly crouched in front of the little, trying to put his arm under Namjoon's leg when he whined sleepily.

“Hey baby, let’s hyungie bring you to the room okay?” Jungkook says in a soothing voice.

Namjoon squeezed shut his eyes, shake his head before he wrapped his arm over Taehyung torso, snuggling further on the male's neck.

Jungkook chuckles slowly. “Come on Joonie. Everyone is going to sleep now. You didn’t want to sleep here, right?” he coaxed further.

Namjoon opened the lid of his eyes, rubbing on it sleepily and start looking around where everyone already standing up while watching him.

“Minion?” he asked groggily didn’t realize that he had missed almost the entire movie – fallen asleep after half an hour watching it. His body feels lethargic after the meeting with Bang PD and the sudden confrontation with Sukhoon. His body had shut down immediately when he feels comfortable, lying his head on Taehyung's shoulder.

“No more minion Joonie. We'll watch it later okay?” said Taehyung as he caressed the hair of the little fondly.

Namjoon pouted realizing his mistake for fallen asleep too early. However, he didn’t have any intention to let his arm go, tighten his embrace over Taehyung's waist.

Taehyung softly chuckles and hold Namjoon’s arm on his torso. “Do you want oppa to pick you up baby?” he says mischievously.

“Yah, Tae!!”

Everyone sneered at the male at his demeanor, and Yoongi smacked his head for the second time that night.

Taehyung hissed in pain, rubbing the back of his head. “What? I want him to call me oppa! Is that wrong?” Taehyung start to sulk, pouting his lips.

“You can’t decide that for him Tae. Let it happen naturally. And what with this oppa thing? You’re a weirdo!” scolds Hoseok.

“All the good names had been taken away! I want a nickname too!!” Taehyung exasperatedly complaining.

“Joonie calling you oppa is really weird Tae!” states Seokjin. He couldn’t apprehend as to why Taehyung was adamant for Namjoon to call him oppa. It wasn’t appropriate for a man to call another man ‘oppa’ instead of ‘hyung’.

“But you were okay when Namjoon called Jungkook ‘hyungie'! He’s the maknae for God sake!” retaliated Taehyung as he flared his eyes at Jungkook.

Jungkook makes a funny face at the allegation, playfully teasing the male. Everyone was shocked when Namjoon called him ‘hyungie’ despite him being the youngest in BTS. Of course, Jungkook was flabbergasted too but later his heart swells with pride and joy. Namjoon has been calling him as ‘hyungie’ sounded so perfect and heavenly.

Namjoon tugged on Taehyung's shirt when he feels annoyed at the chattering sound around him. Taehyung looks down at the little and gives him his boxy smile.

“Sorry, Joonie. Are you sleepy? Let me bring you to the room. Is it okay?” he asked the little, asking for his confirmation before he can move. Namjoon was a little bit clingy when he was asleep. They learned that within these two days.

Namjoon nods his head lazily. He yawned and make a grabby hand towards Taehyung, asking the male to pick him up.

“Up – up oppa!” he says.

“What????”

“YESSSSSS!!”

“Taehyung!!” 

 





 

Chapter Text


 

“Up – up oppa!” he says.
“What????”
“YESSSSSS!!”

Taehyung jumps in excitement hearing Namjoon calling him as oppa – the dream has come true. While the others were looking at him begrudgingly, he stuck out his tongue playfully before he picked up the little with pure happiness.

Taehyung pecked on Namjoon's cheek, leaving the little to fluster for a second before he giggling looking at his ‘oppa'.

“Oppa going to treat you better Joonie!” Says Taehyung and leave the rest of his members eyes wide open with jaws almost drop to the floor.

Seokjin facepalmed himself. “He’s going to ruin that poor boy! Taehyung is a mess!”

Yoongi scoffs. “Tell me something that I didn’t know…”

Everyone let out a deep sighed as they fully agreed with Seokjin and Yoongi. The fact that Taehyung was Namjoon's roommate didn’t help themselves to feel at ease to leave the little alone with Taehyung.

Taehyung carefully put Namjoon on the bed, standing in front of the little with both of his hand to his hips. “Don’t you need to bath before you going to sleep Joonie?” he asked.

Namjoon looks at his caregiver, pouting his plump lips before he shook his head wildly. “No! Joonie wan sweep. No baf pwease…” he begged and slowly laid his head to the pillow – getting ready to sleep with his t-shirt and jeans.

Taehyung clicked his tongue in disagreement. “Uh, no Joonie. If you don’t want to take a bath at least you need to change your clothes…”

Namjoon whined and hide his face unto the pillow and curled himself like a ball. “Joonie wan sweep, oppa!” he refused. He can’t even open up his tired eyes. Slowly drifted into the slumberland on each second.

Taehyung huffed looking at how Namjoon sleepily pulled out his jeans and kick it off from his bed – wearing his only boxer and t-shirt. He then covered his body with his favorite Koya's blanket, wrapping himself like a burrito. Within a second a soft snore emitted from his plump lips.

Taehyung shook his head at the leader's antics but he didn’t have any intention to wake him up. Namjoon seems really tired and he didn’t want to bother him further. Taehyung changed into his pajamas before he laid down to his bed.

“Op-oppa…? Sweep – sweep  wif Joonie?”

Taehyung shot up from his bed, looking at sleepy Namjoon now staring at him with his droopy eyes. Namjoon pats on the side of his bed, beckon on the younger to sleep with him. Taehyung devours in nervousness but doesn’t take too long before his body automatically moves forward.

Taehyung slowly laid himself beside Namjoon, lying on the bed with a straight position awkwardly. He can hear a soft giggle from Namjoon before Taehyung gasped when Namjoon suddenly snaked his arm around Taehyung's waist and make his chest as the little's pillow.

“Joo-Joonie?”

“Swe-sweep Taetae…”

Taehyung static body starts to loosen up a bit when he heard the little snores. He took a deep breath, flicker shut his eyes as he feels odd when the leader cuddling over him. It is rare for the leader to sort for skinship from the members.

When Jimin and Jungkook were more open and free in showing their feeling towards the other members, Namjoon almost a reserved person. He was a little bit shy and not too keen for touching someone else effortlessly of even asking to be touched. It wasn’t Namjoon's forte.

But seeing how he was comfortable to initiates and to shows some skinship when he is in a little space – a new experience for Taehyung and the rest of the members too. Namjoon was too cute and adorable and they just fall over the head of the leader.

Taehyung curved into a smile when Namjoon tightens his arms around his torso, snuggle closer to him. Taehyung moved his hand slowly and grasped on his shoulder while the other hand pats over Namjoon's arm that been comfortably laid down on Taehyung's stomach.

“Goodnight Joonie…” he says as he closed his eyes with his boxy smile – remained on his face until he fell asleep that night.

“You sure we can trust him right?”

Seokjin looked at the maknae and the rest of his members as they stand awkwardly in front of the closed door – Namjoon and Taehyung shared the bedroom.

“I know he is weird sometimes but Tae will never hurt or do something bad to Namjoon. You know how he always respects and loves Namjoon…” justify Seokjin, giving assurance to his members.

The rest halted for a second, processing Seokjin's words before they bob their head; almost simultaneously. Later they scurried away to their own bedrooms to get some rest with an ease heart.


 

Taehyung grunts in his sleep when something had been bothering his periods of sleep. He waved his hand tries to chase away whatever the thing was and continue to sleep. However, he had been disturbed once again when something had been poking his nose and cheek continuously.

“Ugh!!” he groaned with a gruff voice – feeling annoyed. He heard a faint sound of someone laughing and Taehyung immediately opened his eyes.

Taehyung was still in his hazy state, staring blankly at the ceiling for a few seconds or a minute before another poke on his cheek cut through his short trance.

“Wakie wakie wakie! Joonie is hungwy!”

Taehyung let out a low and short guttural sound while he rolled his body to the opposite side, facing backward and ignores the rants by the little. He was too sleepy and today is their free-day so he wanted to sleep as long as he can.

Namjoon jutted his lower lips when Taehyung didn’t have any intention to wake up. He puffed his chubby cheeks, get up from the bed before he pulled Taehyung's body to lie on his back forcefully. Namjoon giggles before he climbed onto Taehyung's torso and slumps his whole weight on it.

“Wakie oppa! Wakie wakie wakie!” he shouted.

Taehyung coughed at the sudden weight, immediately opened his eyes wide to see Namjoon that had been cozily sitting on him. He slammed his own head onto the pillow with a low whimper. He squeezed shut his eyes, feeling attack by the bright light stinging his orbs.

“Joonie! I’m sleepy…” he whined as he rubs his face lazily.

“Joo-Joonie hungwy, oppa!” exclaimed Namjoon, hugging his Ryan plushy to his chest and eyes gawking at his caregiver - demanding.

“Ugh! What-what time is it?” he asked, too lazy to turn his head to see the clock by himself. Taehyung rests his forearm over his eyes, still feeling sluggish.

Namjoon quickly glanced at the clock on the nightstand, frowning when he can’t read the number except his eyes fixated on the clock looking how it moves on each second,  fascinated at how the clock moved its gear. 

“Umm...umm…umm, it-it's four…” mentioned Namjoon, guessing the time recklessly.

“What???” Taehyung eyes widen and almost shot up his body when he realized Namjoon still on him. He used his elbows to hold his upper body before he glanced at the clock – squinted towards it before his mouth agape.

“Joonie…” Taehyung turns his head towards the little that been playing with Ryan’s ear. “You makes me almost got a heart attack. It's 9.20 a.m darling!” he whined before he flumps his body to the bed again.

Namjoon giggles sheepishly. “Joonie can’t wead time, oppa! Silly oppa!”

“Hey! Don’t say that!”

“Oops… sowie…” Namjoon hides his small mouth with his palm, giggling cutely at his mistake while Taehyung let out a soft chuckle looking at how cute Namjoon was.

Namjoon then poked on Taehyung soft cheek once again, “Hungwy!” he says.

Taehyung hummed knowing it is a cue for him to get up. He didn’t want Namjoon to starve himself just because he was too tired and wanted to sleep more.

“Give me a kiss first then, ” teased Taehyung while he pointed at his cheek with his pointy finger.

Namjoon gasped. “Kissie?” He asked as he tilted his head to the side adorably.

Taehyung nods. “Yes, a kissie before we eat!”

Namjoon played with his Ryan, humming in hesitant at Taehyung sudden request. He stares at Taehyung that been smiling widely at him, waiting for him to kiss him a good morning.

“It's just a morning kiss, Joonie!” urged Taehyung, chuckles joyfully looking at Namjoon that been fidgeting thinking about the kiss.

Namjoon sighed before he shook his head. “No mowning kissie! Joonie is hungwy!” he declined.

Taehyung looks at Namjoon mischievously, eyes trailed over his lanky body sitting on his torso – looking a little bit too sensual when the leader just wearing a t-shirt and a boxer. He moves his hand slowly, oblivious to Namjoon before he grabbed Namjoon's waist abruptly.

Namjoon yelp at the touch, a little bit ticklish as Taehyung's fingers fixated at his waist. “No…”

“Give me a morning kiss Joonie. If not I’m going to tickle you…” threaten Taehyung evilly as he knows how ticklish the leader was.

Namjoon bits his lower lip as his hand clutched on Ryan tightly. He huffed in irritation as he stares at Taehyung who had been grinning waiting for his morning kiss.

“Umm…but-but Joonie…” he was hesitating and his cheek turn to pink hue, playing with his Ryan. It was embarrassing to do, either in a little space or not. He might be three but he understands a little bit what is a ‘kiss’.

Taehyung chuckles at the sight before he squeezed his hand over Namjoon's hip making the little to squeak out loud. Taehyung didn’t wait too long as he starts tickling the leader resulting the male to squirm while laughing out loud.

Taehyung rolled their bodies where their early position changed – Taehyung now on top of Namjoon; still playfully teasing the little. Namjoon couldn’t help from feeling funny all over his waist, continue to laugh while trying to escape himself from being tackle down by Taehyung.

They were too engulfed with their own happy world when the door been slammed from the outside and a loud gasped erupted in the room.

“Wake and eat…yah! Kim Taehyung! What are you doing to our Joonie??? You rascal!!”

Taehyung and Namjoon shuddered at the yelling, stop moving instantly while their eyes on Seokjin. Taehyung blinks at Seokjin, now standing at the doorframe with an obviously angry expression meanwhile the rest of the members were standing behind the elder – gawking at him with a murderous stare.

Taehyung heart dropped to his stomach when he realized how he and Namjoon looked likes right now. Basically, Taehyung still sits on Namjoon, both of his hand pinning down the little's hand to the bed tightly. They were all wrong in all angle and it doesn’t look good at all. Everything was wrong and it is the worst situation for Taehyung.

“No-nothing hyung. We-we were about to go out just now…” defends Taehyung as he stammering in his speech. He was too afraid even to move for an inch, keeps his body as it is – on Namjoon's torso oddly.

“That's not what I saw Tae!” alleged Seokjin with an accusatory tone. Eyes were red, ogling at the two suspiciously.

Taehyung gulped and getting more nervous when the members swamp into the bedroom with a darken expression.

“Appa…Tae-oppa wan Joonie to-to give him a mowning kissie!” said Namjoon cheerfully as he didn’t fully understand what is happening right now. He didn’t know that his members were metaphorically murdering Taehyung with their sharp eyes.

Everyone gasped in horror, looking at Taehyung with disbelief before Jimin bolted towards Namjoon and shoved Taehyung’s body away from Namjoon. He then dragged the little to his side – distancing Namjoon from the kissing monster. Namjoon whined at the harsh gestures, making a grabby hand when his Ryan fell on the floor at the abrupt gestures.

“Hyu-hyung listen to me…”

“You are not allowed to sleep with Joonie again. Not when he is a little!” states Seokjin firmly. Finger pointed at Taehyung's face begrudgingly.

Taehyung let out a dissatisfaction cry. “No…!! You misunderstood us, hyung. I was playing with Namjoon. And you can’t do that! We are roommates hyung!” protest Taehyung. Didn’t agree with such instruction since he and Namjoon basically stay in one room together.

“And no one here can sleep with Joonie alone when he is in a little space! I can’t trust any of you to be with him. You pervert kids!!” notes Seokjin as his eyes land on every member of BTS.

A few disapprove noises echoed in the room as everyone trying to protest Seokjin's decision. Seokjin eye glared at his members, knowingly that they all have this ill-intention to sleep with Namjoon – alone. Horny bastard!

“Joonie wants mowning kissie appa!!” says Namjoon, startling everyone in the room. “Mowning kissie pwease!!” he repeats himself with excitement, still couldn’t grasp the harrowing situation they were in.

All the BTS members basically froze from where they were standing, staring at bouncing Namjoon who looks so eager to give morning kisses. They devour anxiously, glanced at Seokjin for a second to see his expression. Anticipating at what will the eldest says about it. Now that Namjoon had offered himself to give a morning kiss, of course, no one will ever refuse as such.

“Mor-morning kissie who?” stutters Seokjin, now gawking at the excited little who had been hugging his Ryan.

Namjoon grinned sheepishly, looking at everyone one by one. “Umm…” he tapped his finger to his chin before he speaks. “Umm mowning kissie to oppa, appa, daddy, dada, hyungie and – and papa?”

Hoseok almost falls to the floor when Namjoon had been calling him ‘papa’, looking at the little incredulously. He whispered to himself the word ‘papa’ before his face beaming like a burst of sunshine. Too bright that he might be blinded the rest of his members – delighted that finally, he got himself a caregiver's name.

“Yes! Yes! Oh God Joonie! I’m so happy. Papa is happy. Papa loves you…” Hoseok dance happily, ignoring all the weird looks given by the rest of his members. They should be grateful that Hoseok didn’t do a breakdance in the room for being too happy!

Everyone peered over Hoseok who was overwhelmed with his own happiness – well too overwhelmed actually. They know how Hoseok had been sullen for the last few days because he’s the only one left with no nickname. But to celebrate it with such exaggerated movement was a little bit too much. Not when he rolled his hips sensually.

“So…should we get in line to get the morning kiss from Joonie?”

“Yoongi/Hyung!!!”

“What? Don’t tell me that you didn’t want Joonie to kiss you?” says Yoongi nonchalantly, looking at the rest of his members with his emotionless face.

“I want to be the first!”

“Jimin, you too?”

Seokjin grunts at the ridiculous behavior of his members, shook his head while looking at Jimin who had raised his hand, volunteering himself enthusiastic.

“I’m number two please!” gushes Jungkook with his wrinkled smile – doesn’t feel ashamed at all at his demeanor.

“I’m on!” shouted Hoseok.

“Faster! Faster! Joonie is hungwy!” The little interrupted as he feels bored when everyone was busy discussing something he didn’t understand.

“So?” urged Yoongi while his eyes on Seokjin.

“I-I can’t believe all of you were…were like this…” Seokjin mentioned with a defeated voice.

“Appa? No wan mowning kissie fom Joonie?” Namjoon asked innocently as he notices the uptight muscles of Seokjin's face.

“Hyung…come on!” everyone was whining over Seokjin’s attitude, feeling impatience at his refusal for Namjoon's morning kiss.

Seokjin looks at his members begrudgingly before he let out a heavy sighed.

“Well, let’s start with the eldest first!” he noted, at last, curving into a wicked smile and playfully wink at his dongsaeng.

“Hyung!!!” 




 

and here a cute Namjoon for you lol

 

Chapter Text


 

Muah!
Muah!
Muah!
Muah!
Muah!
Muah!


Basically, everyone got the morning kisses from the little as he was enthusiastically pecked on everyone cheeks one by one - together with a funny smooch sound. After that Namjoon didn't wait any longer and dashed out from the room heading towards the kitchen while giggling happily.

"Eat! Eat!” He screamed while running leaving all his members flabbergasted at his cheerful attitude.

Hoseok wiped off his wet cheek, resulted from the kiss, looking at his teammates incredulously. “Well, I should be feeling gross at this but since it's our precious Joonie so I’ll ignore it…” he says, making some funny face as he looks at his hand.

Everyone laughed and nods in agreement but never once regretted asking for a kiss from Namjoon. It was too precious and they won’t be disgusted by that. But they had set in their mind that, later they will teach the little how to give a decent kiss. Well, of course, everyone had this kind of expression – evilly smiling. All of them.

They strolled towards the kitchen when Namjoon been calling their names non-stop. They cooed wholeheartedly when they saw Namjoon was already seated at the table and waiting for the food to be served impatiently.

“Appa…hungwy! Joonie wan nugget!”

Seokjin face palmed himself, sighing in defeats at the request. “We’re going to go through this like – every single day, right?” he whinges to himself but obviously audible to his bandmates. He didn't know why Namjoon was too obsessed with nuggets.

“What do you expect from a three years old kid, Jin-hyung?” says Yoongi blatantly.

Seokjin bawled his eyes at the remarks before he joined everyone at the dining table. As everyone was drooling looking at how delicious the kimchi fried rice cooked by Seokjin, Namjoon, however, had another thought.

The little gnawed his lips when he can’t see his favorite nugget on the table. He stares at all the dishes in front of him – kimchi fried rice, eggroll, kimbab, and vegetable soup. But there’s no nugget. None of the foods was enticing his taste bud like his favorite chicken nugget.

He then turned his head towards his caregiver. “Appa? No nugget?” he asked innocently.

Everyone cooed at his adorable act but at the same time was a little bit anxious when they saw Seokjin's straight face. The last night incident was still fresh in their mind and honestly, they were afraid that Seokjin will lose his sane mind dealing with little Namjoon.

Seokjin took a deep breath to calm himself before he grabs Namjoon's hand and squeezed it lightly. “Honey, let’s eat this okay? You can’t eat nugget all the time…” he coaxed subtly.

Namjoon pouted. “But – but nugget is Joonie's favowite!” he exclaimed as his voice rising a little bit, looking at Seokjin with his sharp eyes.

“Appa knows baby, but you need to eat a healthy meal. Eat the rice so you won't feel hungry later. And I can’t let you eat nugget every day. It is unhealthy and not good for your stomach. Understand?” explained Seokjin with his soft and tender voice – trying to brief the little the importance to take the right meal.

“No nugget? Joonie can’t eat nugget?” he asked Seokjin with his doe eyes. His lips tremble as he was on the verge of crying. He didn't fully understand what had been explained by his appa. The only thing that caught his attention at this moment is he can't eat the nugget.

Seokjin nods slowly, feeling disheartened that he needs to say no to the little. Namjoon needs to learn that he can't get everything he wants. “No nugget for today, okay?”

Namjoon’s head dangled down to the table. “But-but Joonie wan nugget…” he said, whispering.

Seokjin let out a deep and long sighed when he saw the tears on Namjoon’s face. “Joonie…”

“I think we need to set up rules for him, hyung…”

Seokjin head snapped towards the golden maknae, Jungkook. He then realized that everyone was watching his and Namjoon confrontation, listening to their talks with anticipation. 

“Rules?” Seokjin asked with a frown on his handsome face.

Jungkook nods. “I read in the website that as the caregiver it is important to make the rules for the little. The dos and don’ts as well as the punishment if the little did something wrong. A guideline for the little as well as the caregiver…” he explained.

Jungkook had taken a few hours last night to make some research about the little space on the various website - mostly studying the roles of the caregiver. He wanted to understand the little space better so that he and his hyung knows how to deal with Namjoon when he is in a little space. He reads a lot and was about to share the information with his hyung today.

“Punishment? Isn’t it going to be so cruel to punish him Jungkook?” interfered Jimin as he glanced at Namjoon for a second. The little still sulking, playing with the hem of his shirt silently.

Jungkook shook his head in disagreement. “No, hyung. It's actually to educate the little about discipline and to let him know that whenever he did something wrong he can’t get away with that. It is the same principle with how we treat the real kids… it’s a basic parenting skill, hyung…”

Everyone was fascinated by Jungkook’s explanation. They didn’t know that the maknae had makes some effort about Namjoon's little space. Well, after all the ruckus caused by him before, Jungkook seems genuinely remorseful and try to redeem himself by doing the research. 

Hoseok shoved his hand to Jungkook's head and ruffled his hair till it gets messy. “That’s great Kook-ah. Thanks for the information, you did a good job…”

Jungkook grinned sheepishly as his face turns to crimson red. It's still embarrassing for him to get the praise from his hyung but at the same time, his heart swells with pride. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly while Hoseok smile at his cute reaction.

“Well, I guess he needs it since… well, you know how he has been picky about his food and his attitude when he can't get it…” agreed Seokjin as the others nod their head in agreement.

“Let’s do that when he wasn’t in little space. He needs to fully understand the rules and regulation. We can discuss this with him, especially on the punishment part,” said Yoongi.

" Yeah, it will be more comfortable to do that when he is not a little..." said Jimin meanwhile the others nod their head - unanimously agree with the decision.

“You have to eat what I had made for you, Joonie…”

Everyone attention back to the little one when Seokjin's strained voice erupted at the dining table once again. He had been dealing with Namjoon's stubbornness as the little jiggle his head – still refuse to take his food.

Seokjin ignores the protest by Namjoon and gets up from the chair without saying anything.  Namjoon makes a small whimper at Seokjin's abrupt action and later let out a small sob as he thought his appa was mad at him. Namjoon startled when someone had grabbed his hand.

“It's okay baby…”

Namjoon jutted his lips at Jimin’s word but says nothing as his eyes trailed over Seokjin that been busy searching for something in the kitchen cabinet.

Namjoon eyes widen when Seokjin returned back to the dining table, holding in both of his hand, a small plastic bowl with Ryan's printed on it and a sippy cup with the same character.

“Wyan! It's Wyan dada!” he shouted joyfully as he pointed at the two items on Seokjin's hand.

Everyone was laughing at his antics, cooing at Namjoon as he bounced happily on his chair when Seokjin set the bowl and the cup in front of him. Seokjin had a wide smile on his face as he was relieved to see Namjoon's cheerful expression. He had expected that the little will love it when he bought it a few days ago.

“Appa will let you eat in this if you want to eat the rice…” notes Seokjin as he bargains with the little.

Namjoon holds his breath as his eyes fixated at the cute bowl and cup, fidgeting on the chair. He can see how Ryan was dancing and been calling him imaginatively. He gulped and averted his eyes towards Seokjin before he nods wildly as the answer.

“Otay! Joonie wan this and this pwease!” said Namjoon eagerly while he pointed his finger at the fried rice and eggrolls in front of him. 

Seokjin smiles wider and scooped the rice into Namjoon's new rice bowl. The little was giggling seeing how the food was in his Ryan bowl, impatiently put his plastic spoon and feeding himself the rice.

“Dewishes appa!” he said with a mouthful of rice.

"Eat properly baby, " cooed Seokjin and his hand reached over Namjoon's chin, softly wipe away the remnant of the fried rice.

Everyone smiles in relieved before they start to dig out their own food too.

“Sippy sippy sippy…Joonie wan sippy cup wif banana milk!” Namjoon sings randomly as he sips the milk while bobbing his head adorably. 

“Cutie!” Everyone almost unison said the same thing while their eyes on the excited little – looking extremely cute enjoying his food and drink.

“Let's play hide and seek Joonie!” suggest Taehyung when they almost finish eating the breakfast.

Namjoon's eyes automatically beamed at the words. “Pway time!!” he shouted.

Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin immediately shot up from their chair, bolted towards the little with a boisterous laugh. Jimin grabbed the little’s hand, forcing him to run together with the others through the hallway.

“Don’t run in my house! You’ll make Joonie fall!” Seokjin shouted as he saw how the four little devils running like a supersonic leaving the kitchen to play.

“Don’t worry, they’ll take care of him, ” said Yoongi and continue to sip his coffee comfortably.

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “That’s what really concerns me Yoongi. Do you think they were able to play safely? We are talking about our maknae line here…and of course, our clumsy Joonie!”

Hoseok chuckles listening to the fact given by the eldest. “Well, Jin-hyung got the point there…”

Yoongi scoffs at the two. “Don’t worry too much. You sounded like those typical mothers, Jin-hyung…”

Seokjin squinted his eyes towards the rapper. “And you were acting like those typical fathers, Yoongi!” he retaliates.

Hoseok let out a loud laugh at the bickering. “You two were like those typical husband and wife talking about their naughty kids!”

“Hoseok!!” both Seokjin and Yoongi shouted at Hoseok, making him flinch on his seat.

Hoseok clicked his tongue and give a smothered laugh while bawling his eyes at the exaggerated response.

"Geez, no need to be triggered! It's just a joke!" uttered Hoseok, mocking at Seokjin and Hoseok. 


 

 

“Joonie…where are you?”

Taehyung had been searching for the little everywhere possible. He had looked around their shared bedroom but there’s no one there. Jimin and Jungkook had been found within the first fifteen seconds as they both suck playing hide and seek. Now both were waiting for him at the hallway while he continues his search on Namjoon.

Taehyung entered the laundry room, eyes hovered around before he can see Namjoon’s feet protruding behind the curtain. The curtain wasn't long enough to cover his feet and Taehyung let out a soft chuckle looking how Namjoon's toes curling in excitement.

“Joonie…where are you?” Taehyung playfully teases the little, faking that he didn’t see Namjoon in his hideout.

Taehyung were standing in the middle of the room, once a while glancing at Namjoon from the corner of his eyes where he notices how the little was fidgeting behind the see-through curtain.

“Hmm, I don’t think Joonie's here. I wonder where he had been hiding? What a clever boy!” he said to himself but with a loud audible voice. Purposely wanted the little to hear his talk.

Namjoon giggling behind the curtain, stomach churns funnily as he thought no one can see him behind the white curtain. He put his hand to his mouth, trying to muffle his laughter. His heart was hammering with fear that Taehyung might hear his voice just now.

Taehyung tried his best not to laugh hearing the little's giggling at his rant. He walked closer to the curtain but remained the distance and acted like he didn’t saw Namjoon.

“Hmm… maybe Joonie's not here…” he said mischievously.

Namjoon giggles while he shook his head and hummed slowly – answering to Taehyung's guess just now. He scrunched his nose and his feet were shaking feeling how the zing pumped up the adrenaline into his body.

“Hey Tae, did you find Joonie?”

Taehyung turned his body when he heard Jimin's voice. Jimin and Jungkook now standing at the door with a confused look when Taehyung smile at them meaningfully. Taehyung pressed his finger to his mouth, make a signal for the two to remain silent before he beckons at Namjoon's hideout with his eyes.

Jimin and Jungkook averted their eyes at the said place before they mouthed an ‘o’ and silently laughed. The two approached Taehyung slowly as now the three gathers together – try to make a pact in teasing the little.

“I think Joonie might be hiding somewhere. I can’t find him here…” said Taehyung to the two.

Jimin smiles. “Yeah maybe. Do you think he becomes invisible hyung?” he said suggestively.

“Maybe he had the superpower to make himself disappear and no one can see him. Don’t you think so?” add on Jungkook.

The three were trying not to laugh as Namjoon slide the curtain a little bit as his head peeking through to look at the three. The maknae line acted that they didn’t see Namjoon when the little slowly come out from his hideout. Namjoon had believed that he had become invincible and now he wanted to test his superpower towards his caregivers.

“Ah, I think Joonie might be watching us right now. But we can’t see him at all…” said Taehyung a little bit exaggerating in his acting as the other two bawled their eyes in irritation.

Namjoon unaware of the whole situation walked slowly like a thief in action, afraid that the three will hear his footstep. Namjoon stands near the three and waves his hand in front of Taehyung's face.

Namjoon gasped when Taehyung didn’t react to his hand before he does the same thing towards Jimin and Jungkook. And he further shocked when their expression was similar to Taehyung. He let out a chuckle feeling funny seeing his caregivers couldn’t see him at all.

“Dada…”

Jimin fakes a loud gasp, looking around the room bewilderedly but Namjoon. “Hey I think I hear Joonie's voice just now!” he said.

Jungkook and Taehyung then turned around doing the same thing and purposely didn't saw Namjoon – same as Jimin before. Both widen their eyes in shocked, staring at Jimin with disbelief.

“But there's no Joonie here, hyung…” told Jungkook.

Namjoon was in a giggling mess when his caregivers look so silly trying to look for him when the fact that he was there standing nearby - being invincible.

Taehyung smirk at the two before he moved backward slowly – unnoticeable by Namjoon that being too engulfed in his own world; laughing at his bandmates.

Namjoon squeaked out loud when Taehyung suddenly grabs his waist from his back, hoisted up his body while he scuffled wildly to loosen up from the grip.

“No! No! Down down down oppa. Joonie scawed!” he screamed as Taehyung lifted him too high that his feet dangled down, couldn’t feel the cold tiles.

Jungkook and Jimin were laughing heartily looking at the two. Taehyung put down the little after he won’t stop screaming out of fear.

Namjoon heaved, feeling tired after struggling with Taehyung just now - chest up and down. He peered over Taehyung with anger as he puffed his cheek. His arms now crossed to his body, didn’t feel amused at his caregiver demeanor.

“Not fair! You twick Joonie!” he said after his brain manages to process the whole ordeal just now. He can see how the three playfully grinned at him.

“Aww don’t get mad Joonie. It's just a game!” pursuit Jimin, realizing the red face of the little.

Namjoon jiggles his head wildly. “No! Joonie doesn’t want to pway anymore. Dada, Hyungie, and Oppa are meanie!” he gushes. His lips jutted further as he stares at the three.

Jungkook put his hand on Namjoon's shoulder but the little swatted his hand harshly.

“Hyungie sorry okay. Let’s play again…” he try to coax the sulking little.

Namjoon shook his head. “Uh-uh, don’t wan! Joonie wan to tell daddy that -that you twick Joonie!” he said.

The three eyes widen at the mention of ‘daddy’ which they clearly know that the little referred to Yoongi. When Namjoon already bolted out, wanted to complain about the three, the maknae line immediately chases the little in horror.

Yoongi will surely beat their ass for tricking the little!

The other fact is, being a tall grown-up male – Namjoon was a little bit clumsy. Everyone knows that. Well, that was an understatement. He was super clumsy. He managed to hurt himself just by sitting down. Don’t ask how, it just happens.

So when he is in a little space, his clumsiness was harrowing. He was running through the hallway, laughing as he heard the footstep behind him, realizing that his three caregivers were running after him.

It happened in a millisecond when he stumbles on his own feet and instantly fell on the floor with a loud thud. A really loud thud that everyone was shocked by hearing the sound alone.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were shocked when he saw Namjoon curled to himself like a fetus on the floor. Meanwhile, the hyung line run towards the four with hammering heart and mouth agape to see their little now lying on the floor. All of them were frowning at the situation because it is really odd that Namjoon didn't let out any voice or even crying.

Namjoon feels his whole body aching at the impact – especially on his waist and chest. He feels a strong pain particularly on his left ribs and it's hurt when he tried to breathe. He didn’t move at all as his brain still frozen at what just happen to his body. It's still processing the information from the moment he fell until now.

“What did I said about running in the house?!” Seokjin yelled at the maknae line, looking at the three with a murderous stare.

Namjoon flinched at the brisk voice, slowly lifted his head to see his appa, daddy, and papa standing in front of him. His lips immediately quiver and suddenly he was wailing out loud – startling everyone.

“Daddy!!!!! It huwts!”

It was Yoongi that took the first step to approach the little, helping him to sit when Namjoon just keeps crying until his face turned to red. Namjoon's arms wrapped around his waist, trying to soothe the pain on it.

“Huwts! Joonie's huwt!” he continues to wail.

Everyone swamp at the little, trying to see if there’s injury visible on his body but there were none. Yoongi hinted at Seokjin to take a look of the little while he pulled Namjoon’s head to lie on his shoulder.

Seokjin crouched down in front of the little and pulled out Namjoon's hand from his chest.  “Tell me where does it hurt Joonie?”

“Here…appa…it huwts…” he said while pointed at his left ribs, frowning at the inflicted pain even with a slight move.

Seokjin lifted his shirt to see Namjoon's rib and was flabbergasted to see the dark purple bruise around it. “Yoongi! Look at this…” he said with concern.

Yoongi peeked through the shirt to see the purple bruise. He immediately turned his head to Seokjin. “I hope he didn’t fracture his ribs!” he notes.

“We need to go to the hospital to check on that Yoongi…”

Everyone felt aghast listening to the conversation and the maknae line was feeling extremely guilty for making the little to run in the house.

“Okay baby…appa will try to pick you up…we're going to see a doctor…” said Seokjin.

Namjoon was still crying, chanting the words ‘hurt' but nonetheless nods his head as he understands what had been told by Seokjin. He makes a whimpering sound when Seokjin lifted his body carefully.

Namjoon wrapped his arm around Seokjin's neck, continue to cry on his shoulder blade, still immersed in the pain. He let out a dry cough but later crying louder than before saying it hurts badly.

Seokjin was in tears as the little keeps saying how much it hurts, and a little contact with his ribs makes Namjoon wince in pain. Seokjin couldn’t help himself from thinking that the leader might have broken his ribs. But they need to make sure of it by way of an X-ray.

To think that the leader injured himself was horrendous. Any injury before their tour will affect the whole team. They can’t afford to suffer any injury at this crucial moment.

“You three stay at home!” said Seokjin sternly as they were following the hyung at the main door – getting ready to go with Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok. Their managers Sejin and Sukhoon had been waiting for them in the car.

“But hyung…” Jimin was trying to protest but stopped immediately when he saw the sharp glare from Seokjin.

“We know that you are worried about him but it is the best if we didn’t go to the hospital in a group. We didn’t want to attract any unnecessary attention from other people…” said Hoseok as he can read the worried face of the maknaes.

The three released a deep sighed before they nodded dejectedly. Even though they were itching to go with the other to the hospital, they can’t deny Hoseok's statement. Any glimpse of media or fan seeing them at the hospital will create some chaos.

“I’ll call you to inform about Joonie…don’t worry…” Hoseok told the three before they leave the dorm.

No one among the three moves from the door as they were too engulfed with their own thoughts and sickly worried about their precious leader. Hearing those cry and whimper they know that it’s quite serious. They were afraid to know how it will affect the whole team.

“What should we do now?” asked Jungkook, the first one to break the silence.

Taehyung looks at the two, clearly sad with what had happened to Namjoon. They admit that it was their fault for tricking the little and didn’t do their job as the caregivers diligently.

“Just wait and see. Let’s pray it’s not something serious...” says Taehyung however he can’t hide the concern lies in his voice.

“Yeah, just wait until Hobi-hyung calls us…” Jimin speaks.

As for now, that was the only thing they can do.

Wait.

 





Chapter Text

 


 

Seokjin wrapped his long arm to Namjoon's shoulder, helping him to walk as the latter male wobbling – feeling weak to walk and his ribs were awfully painful. He can’t even touch his waist and any small fraction to his rib had caused it to throb in pain.

When they arrived at the basement, Sejin was looking at the four with worried expression – especially Namjoon who just could barely walk.

“What happened?” He asked with obvious concern.

“He fell and hurt his ribs. I don’t know whether it's broken or not. We need to make a full checkup…” told Seokjin.

Sejin nods before he slides open the door and watched how Seokjin and Yoongi were helping Namjoon to get into the van. Sejin drove the car to the hospital meanwhile Sukhoon sits beside him on the passenger seat.

In the van, Namjoon sits in the middle, in between of Seokjin and Yoongi and Hoseok at the last row. Namjoon didn’t say a word, resting his head on Seokjin's shoulder as his right hand pressed softly on his ribs. Yoongi had been holding his left hand, intertwined their fingers together.

Seokjin glanced at Yoongi, a little bit nervous since Namjoon was still in his little space when the incident happen. Yoongi gives him a meaningful look, nod his head slightly as to assure the eldest that everything will be fine.

Namjoon squeezed shut his eyes as his ribs throbbed with strong pain each time the vehicle makes a sharp turn or on a rocky road. When he opened his eyes, he notices how Sukhoon had been looking at him with a smirk.

Namjoon breathe hitched when he saw the evil smile, clutching his hand with Yoongi tightly. He was barely out from his little space. Seokjin and Yoongi had mentioned earlier that Sejin and Sukhoon will drive them to the hospital.

Namjoon immediately knows that he needs to be careful and forcing himself out from the little space. It’s hard to do so when he was in distress but he can’t jeopardize himself to be caught by Sejin.

“Is it painful Namjoon-ssi?”

Namjoon trance immediately stopped at the question. His droopy eyes now on Sukhoon who had shown his concern while asking the question. But Namjoon knows it is a mere façade by the male. It’s sickening that the male was really good at hiding his devilish personality.

Namjoon ignores the question, snuggle closer to Seokjin and hides his face on the crook of the elder's neck. Seokjin heard the whimper made by Namjoon and pats on his head softly. Yoongi massages his hand to soothe the pain realizing the distress.

“It must be painful for him, Sukhoon-hyung…” Seokjin answered on behalf of Namjoon, failure to notice the awkwardness between the leader and the new manager.

Sukhoon faking a smile as he nods his head. “Maybe. Don’t worry, we’ll arrive in any minutes…”

Namjoon shut his eyes, hated the sound of Sukhoon's fake voice. His ribs were aching so much and Sukhoon presence doesn’t help to ease his pain at all. He had added the mental torture to Namjoon. Pathetically.

When they arrived at the hospital, all of them had to wear a full mask on the face to hide their identity. Two staff of the hospital had been waiting for them, escorting them through the safe passage to the treatment room. A common procedure for the idols in order to avoid the public and media.

Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok were waiting in the room together with Namjoon and a doctor. Namjoon requested them to be with him and the three was adamant to stay with the leader. Afraid that he will regress to little space out of sudden.

Seokjin gasped when Namjoon took off his shirt and lied down on the bed. The bruise looks so dark and Namjoon screamed in pain when the doctor slightly touches at the injury. He curled to himself, eyes got watery because of the unbearable pain.

Yoongi hugged Seokjin's shoulder when he saw how the male was shaking while watching Namjoon. Seokjin glanced at the rapper, eyes got teary and his lips tremble – on the verge of crying. Hoseok had the same expression as the rest; worried.

“He’ll be fine… don’t worry…” says Yoongi.

Seokjin nod slowly even though he himself didn’t feel confident at the saying. Later a nurse came with a wheelchair, asking Namjoon to sit on it. She will wheel the leader to the x-ray room.

Namjoon looks at his hyung with fear obviously on his face. Seokjin immediately crouched down in front of the male and took both of his hand – caressing it tenderly.

“Don’t worry Joon-ah… we will be here when you’re done. Okay?” coax Seokjin.

Namjoon lips tremble as his eyes pricked with tears. “Ap - Jin-hyung… wait – wait for me okay?” he whispered, almost slipped the words ‘appa’. He was on the thin line between headspace and little space.

Seokjin heart fills with agony when he realized how Namjoon been holding himself from regressed to little space. He wishes Namjoon can be at ease and being a little but they can’t do that here. They just need to surpass the whole medical procedure without any hassle.

It was almost thirty minutes when Namjoon came back with the nurse. He was wearing the hospital gown, looking pale and lethargic on the wheelchair. Seokjin took Namjoon's cold hand when he was seated beside him and Yoongi on the other side. Hoseok stands behind Namjoon, both hands on Namjoon's shoulder, giving a small massage to the tense body.

The doctor came five minutes later, together with the x-ray film. Then their managers entered the room after been called by the nurse, now standing behind Seokjin and Yoongi.

“Well, he was lucky that he didn’t break his ribs…” said the doctor with a smile.

Everyone let out a relieved sigh, looking at each other in joy. Namjoon had his first smile too after the harsh fall.

“He had a bruised ribs and suffered the immersed pain because of the hard impact on the floor. Due to that, you will feel a strong pain in your chest area, particularly when you breathe in. That's why you had the swelling around the affected ribs, ” explains the doctor.

“How long will it takes for him to heal, doctor?” asked Seokjin.

“It is around three to six weeks, with full rest and no strained activities at least for two weeks…”

Namjoon gasped at the diagnosis. “Th-that’s mean I can’t – can't dance for our new album?” he asked in horror.

“Sadly to say Mr. Kim, it is not advisable for you to dance. As far as I’m concern, BTS choreograph are pretty hard and energetic so it will worsen the pain and slow down the healing process…”

Namjoon clenched his fist so tight that his knuckles turn to white. He looks downwards to his lap in disappointment and rage. It was frustrated that they were in the middle of their comeback with the new album Love Yourself. They need to practice the dance routine for their song; Fake Love and Idol.

What’s going to happen now? He’ll slow down the members. Now, they can’t do anything without him. What should he do? This is all his fault. He shouldn’t be running in the dorm. He should listen to Seokjin. Now everything was ruined because of him!

“Hey, Joon…”

Namjoon lifts his head and turns to Seokjin. His eyes were glassy and his vision turns to blur. He can’t see Seokjin's face clearly so he didn’t know whether the elder was angry or not for making the group’s comeback into a halt.

“Hey, don’t worry Joon-ah…” Seokjin says in his most soft and subtle voice, wiping the tears streak on Namjoon's face. He was worried when the leader turns to silent mode after the doctor's explanation.

Knowing the male for years, Seokjin had the intuition that Namjoon will blame himself for the whole incident. He will take into this personally, thinking it his fault that he was injured. Indeed, they were in the midst of preparing their comeback. They have a lot of things to do. It’s getting busier day by day. It was a crucial hour for them.

But no one can ever blame Namjoon if they have to postpone it. Namjoon is important. They will take the time needed until he is fully healthy and they will resume back everything. As for now, Namjoon just needs to rest.

“Ow, that's a bad news doctor. BTS was preparing for their comeback next month. They still didn’t perfect their dance for the new song. Do you think it is possible for him to do a simple choreography?”

Everyone was taken aback at Sukhoon’s question, especially Namjoon. He can taste the venom lies in his voice. He flickered shut his eyes, agonizing the manager's attitude. He personally launches his attack on Namjoon.

“As I said before he can’t do any strenuous activity. It will worsen the pain and he can get a lung infection. He needs to be really careful. The worst thing that could happen if he is pressuring the lung, it will cause him to cough blood. That will be life-threatening …” explained the doctor further.

To say that everyone was shocked is an understatement. They were really worried about listening to the doctor's diagnosis. At this stage, Namjoon needs to listen to the doctor. The members have to make sure that he will have a good rest at the dorm.

“What a shame…” said Sukhoon while he smirks at Namjoon.

“Don’t say like that Sukhoon-ssi. Namjoon will be fine and the comeback will be on schedule…” interfered Sejin, disliking the attitude shown by the new manager. He notices how he was intentionally picking up on Namjoon.

Namjoon says nothing until they were in the van and remained silent throughout the journey. Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok were on the edge looking at their leader. However, they choose not to talk about it until they reached the house.

“Don’t worry Namjoon. I’ll discuss this with Bang PD tomorrow. Just rest, okay?” told Sejin when they had arrived at the basement parking. Hoseok had gone up first, saying that he wants to make sure the maknaes had cleaned up Namjoon's bed for him to rest.

Namjoon has been avoiding Sejin's gaze, just nods his head weakly. Sejin pats on his shoulder to ease the leader's stress. He was about to say something when his phone ringing. He moves to the side to answer the call and Sukhoon took the chance to approach the leader.

 

(CW : ⚠️)

“Isn’t it a shame for a leader to cause a major problem to his group?” whispered Sukhoon venomously.

Namjoon grits his teeth at the words as he leaned his body on the car. Seokjin and Yoongi were talking to Sejin about something after he ended his call just now – leaving Namjoon to deal with Sukhoon alone.

“Do you think you are good enough to be BTS leader Namjoon-ssi?” asked Sukhoon further. Having fun to tease the said male. He loves to see Namjoon's tight expression. An expression he rarely showed to the world.

“Why – why are you doing this?” Namjoon asked, stammering in his speech as he glare at the male in wrath.

Sukhoon sniggered at Namjoon. “Nothing though. It’s just fun to see you suffering like this…” he said nonchalantly.

Namjoon clenched his fist, eyes boring deeper into Sukhoon's face as if he wanted to throw a punch on his annoying face. “I don’t understand! You must be planning something. What is it? What is it Sukhoon?” whisper yelled Namjoon, snarled at the male. His voice turns to blade-sharp.

Sukhoon mouth agape at Namjoon's audacity to question him. His lips curved into a smirk intrigued by the leader's personality.

“This is what I like about you Namjoon. You look so strong but at the same time fragile inside. However, you never took your weaknesses as your disadvantage. You used it and makes yourself stronger…” praised Sukhoon.

Namjoon frowned at the sudden commend made by Sukhoon. Is he having a dual personality?

“Who are you?” Namjoon asked feebly. He was confused at Sukhoon’s demeanor. He keeps changing his attitude and makes Namjoon wandering whether the said male was in his sane mind or not.

Sukhoon scoffs at the question. “Someone who will ruin your life, Namjoon!” he snickered.

Namjoon was flabbergasted at the statement, looking bewildered at the manager. “Ru-ruin my life? What's for? Don't you afraid that I'll tell Bang PD about you? You'll lose your job in a second!"

Namjoon flinched when Sukhoon moves a step forward making their distance only a few inches parted. Namjoon holds his breath at the sudden proximity and his heart hammering at the darken expression of Sukhoon.

Sukhoon can read the nerve-racking, seeing how the leader's body tensed when he was closer to him. Sukhoon smile with a smug face. 

“You won’t dare to do that Namjoon. You know that I will hunt you down and I won’t hesitate to do anything to implicate your bandmates too…” threatened Sukhoon.

Namjoon was about to retaliate when Sukhoon suddenly poked on his injured ribs. Namjoon let out a scream of pain at the contact, stumble backward as he bends down holding his ribs.

(CW : ⚠️END)

 

“Namjoon??!”

Namjoon tilted his head to the side where he can see Seokjin and Yoongi almost running towards him. He glanced at Sukhoon now looking at him with an evil smile.

“Are you okay? What happened?" Yoongi asked as he was shocked to hear the scream.

"He was trying to walk by himself..." lied Sukhoon.

Seokjin sighed and hold Namjoon's forearm on the side and Yoongi was on the other side.

"Come on, you need to rest!”

The three entered the building, heading towards the elevator carefully. When they were in the elevator, Namjoon averted his eyes to the outside. He can see Sukhoon murderous stare, gawking at him until the elevator fully closed. Namjoon's heart immediately drops to the pit of his stomach.

What is Sukhoon up to? Why he did that to him? Namjoon can feel the cold sweat on his forehead when he remembers the threat. He can’t let the members get involved in this. He needs to find the truth behind Sukhoon's act. Soon.

“Joonie!!!!”

Namjoon was startled when he had been greeted with a loud screaming as he entered the dorm. A few steps can be heard running towards him.

“Stop!! Don’t you dare to move closer. You'll hurt Joonie!”

Jimin pouted at the command, looking at Seokjin with a bitter face. Jungkook and Taehyung had the sullen expression to as they can’t be closer to Namjoon.

Namjoon smiles fondly to see his dongsaeng cute face. “I’m fine…don’t worry…” he says.

The three maknae apparently were surprised that Namjoon had not been in his little space. They share a glare at Seokjin before the elder rolled his eyes. But he already knows that the maknae line surely understands as to why Namjoon was not a little.

As Seokjin helped Namjoon to go to his room, the others follow suit from behind. Namjoon was uncomfortable been swamped by the rest but at the same time understand their concern.

Namjoon lied on the bed carefully, winced in pain once a while. Seokjin put a soft pillow to the left side, to make sure Namjoon didn't pressure his ribs too much.

Namjoon feels overwhelmed at the kindness of the elder and how his other member was looking at him with concern. The sad feeling he had before at the hospital came back to him, making his eyes become glassy.

“I’m sorry hyung…” he said with a strained voice.

Seokjin and the others didn’t expect for the leader to apology out of sudden. Seokjin can see how the hazel orbs belong to Namjoon starts to accumulate the tears. Seokjin caressed Namjoon's hair softly.

“Don’t apologize Joonie. It’s not your fault. Accident happen and we can’t avoid it…” said Seokjin.

“But-but I shouldn’t run. If not I will not fall and hurt myself. Now, we need to postpone the comeback…” Namjoon laments, his words ejecting forth in spurts as if an aching tightness has gripped his throats.  He lowered his eyes, feeling guilty towards his members.

Seokjin shook his head and he cupped the leader's face, forcing the male to look at him. “No, baby. It’s not your fault, remember that. Don’t be sad and don’t blame yourself, baby…”

Namjoon lips tremble as his tears been cascading through the corner of his eyes. He let out a soft sob when he can no longer hold his sadness and guilt. And Seokjin been calling him ‘baby’, making his heart tormented at the kindness.

It was within a second before he succumbs into the pit of sorrow and wailed out loud. “Joonie sowie… appa – appa…Joonie sowie…”

Seokjin eyes widen when he realized Namjoon had fully regressed to the little space out of stress. Seokjin immediately hugged the male and Namjoon continue to cry on his shoulder. 

“Sowie appa!” he wailed continuously, hiding his face on the crook of Seokjin's neck. His tears soaking wet Seokjin's shirt.

Everyone who had been watching was shocked, quickly climbed the bed and stay closer to the little. Jimin took Namjoon's hand and caressed it softly meanwhile Jungkook and Taehyung stays on his feet, patting on it tenderly.

Hoseok and Yoongi stand behind Seokjin as both strokes the hair of the little slowly. Everyone was trying to coax the little, feeling the pang of sadness in their heart to see the leader's breakdown.

“Don’t cry Joonie. No one is mad at you. Don’t say sorry baby...  We are all here for you, okay?” Seokjin spoke to the crying little.

“We all love you Joonie. Don’t be sad baby…” Jimin tries to coax Namjoon too.

“Bu – but Joonie…”

Jimin immediately interrupted the little rant. “Shhh, it's okay. Joonie is a good boy. Don’t be sad… just rest okay.” Jimin strokes to the back the damp hair on Namjoon's forehead.

Namjoon eyes become droopy as he keeps on crying until he was fallen asleep on Seokjin’s shoulder. Everyone sighed in relieved that finally, the leader had stopped crying. But they were still sad to see the tears on his face and how tired he was.

Seokjin slowly laid down his body to the bed, being careful not to touch his injured ribs. He pulled the Koya blanket up to Namjoon's chest. Yoongi took the Ryan plushy and put it in between of Namjoon's right arm.

“He – he will be fine, right?” asked Jimin timidly as his eyes fixated at Namjoon’s sleeping face.

Seokjin breath heavily. “He will. And we are going to make sure that he will be fine…”

 

 

 




 

Chapter Text


 

Namjoon groaned when his ribs touched the soft mattress, feeling the pain over the affected areas as he rolls his body. He squeezed shut his eyes for few times before he was able to open it widely. His orbs hovered around the room, not too dark not too bright also.


Namjoon plopped his upper body using his elbow slowly. He winced in pain for the umpteenth time and the day just started for him like five minutes only. Namjoon pressed his hand over his ribs tenderly, being careful not to put any pressure on it.

“Joonie?”

Namjoon tilted his head and smile when he saw Jimin at the door frame. “Morning Jimin, ” he says with his hoarse voice.

Jimin lips parted slightly. “Ow, hyung. Morning…” He couldn’t hide his disappointment when he realized that Namjoon woke up not being a little.

“How're your ribs?” he asked while he approached the leader. Namjoon still looks in a daze. Jimin crouched in front of Namjoon and notice the messy hair and his pale face.

Namjoon flashed a weak smile. “Hurts but I’m fine… better than yesterday, I guess…”

Jimin smiles at the answer. Jimin wrapped his arm around Namjoon's waist when Namjoon a little bit wobbling when he got up from the bed. Namjoon mouthed a silent thank you and walked slowly with Jimin's help.

It is awkward when someone been watching you in the bathroom. Everything seems odd even to brush your teeth. Namjoon glanced at Jimin through the mirror, seeing how Jimin attentively stares at him while he brushes his teeth and washed his face.

“I can do this alone you know?” said Namjoon while he wipes his wet face.

Jimin grinned sheepishly and took the towel from Namjoon's hand. “I know but I just want to do it for you…”

Namjoon let out a soft chuckle as his face feels warm at the special treatment by the young vocalist. It still weird for Namjoon to be taken care of by the members, especially after his little space secret was exposed.

“Thank you, Jimin. I appreciate it, ” Namjoon notes. He ruffles the male blonde hair.

Jimin flushed a little bit at the gestures before he helps Namjoon heading to the dining table. Namjoon says a cheerful good morning when he saw the rest of his bandmates already seated at the dining table for breakfast.

“I’ll let you eat nugget just for today, Joonie!” exclaimed Seokjin while he put the plate full with dinosaurs shape of nuggets. He was still wearing his pink apron and smiling widely, looking at the leader.

Namjoon frowned as he stares at the nuggets before he averted his eyes towards Seokjin. “But hyung, who eats nugget for breakfast?” he said, whining a little bit.

Seokjin dramatically gasped meanwhile the other members murmuring around the table – surprised that Namjoon is not little this morning. They expected the leader to wake up as little Joonie after his breakdown last night.

Jimin giggles looking at his members. He then notices how Namjoon was pouting looking at everyone and his nuggets incredulously.

“Hyung, don’t you remember? You were obsessed with the nuggets and even break one of Jin-hyung favorite bowl…” told Jimin with amusement.

Namjoon eyes widen at the mentioned of Seokjin's bowl. “Wh-what? Really?” he was shocked and he tilted his head to Seokjin. The said male now looking at him with both hands on his waist. “Oh God! Really hyung? I’m – I’m sorry! I should – I should buy you another one…”

Seokjin let out a whimsical laughed hearing the rambling by the younger before he pats on Namjoon's hair softly. “Hey don’t worry. It’s nothing. Joonie just wants his nugget and appa was too stubborn to give…”

Namjoon grunts as his face turn to crimson red. He hides his face with his hand, feeling embarrassed at his own demeanor as a little. He can hear his members were laughing at him.

“Sorry hyung. I should warn you that sometimes it is hard to handle me being a little. My mother used to complain about it a lot afterward…” said Namjoon.

Seokjin chuckles and dragged the chair diagonal with Namjoon. He then took the leader's hand and squeezed it lightly. “Don’t worry. All of us are still adapting to the whole situation. We didn’t know how and what to do when you’re being a little, so accident are inevitable….”

“All of us have the same difficulties and we were trying our best to be your caregivers…” says Yoongi, trying to soothe Namjoon's inner guilt.

Namjoon sighed deeply as he lifts his eyes and stares at his members one by one. They were looking at him with a smile that makes Namjoon's heart escalated. The genuine smile and the glistening eyes of his members make him feel at ease. He knows he can trust his members to be his caregivers. In fact, he believes they will be a great one.

“But you still want to drink the milk in the sippy cup, right?” asked Seokjin as he shoved the Ryan cup to Namjoon's face, eyes beaming with hopes.

Namjoon holds his breath when he saw the cup and Seokjin ridiculous face. He keeps shoving the cup to Namjoon, forcing the male to take it. Namjoon puffed his chubby cheek, groaned in irritation at Seokjin's childish antics.

“Hyung, you’re really weird!” he gushes.

Seokjin laughed and put the cup to the table. “Just wanna see if you’re going to regress if I show you the cup…” Seokjin shrugs.

Everyone laughed together with Seokjin and Namjoon face was red like a grilled shrimp.

“Joon-ah…”

Namjoon attention now on Yoongi and he immediately frowned when he saw the serious face of the rapper. His heart suddenly pounding and he was nervous. He knows that there’s something serious if Yoongi suddenly makes that face.

“Wh-what is it hyung?” Namjoon stutters, couldn’t hide the anxious built in the pit of his stomach.

“Jungkook had made some research about the little space. And he said that it is important if we set some rules when you were little. After what had happened yesterday, I think it is needed…”

Namjoon took a deep breath at the saying, eyes then drifted to each of his members. They had the same expression as himself. Worried and concerned.

“Hyung, it doesn’t mean that we didn’t like you being a little. But it’s just a guideline for us and for you too…” Jungkook intercepts after Namjoon remained silence.

Jungkook was afraid that Namjoon feels uncomfortable because they had proposed that to him out of sudden. He didn’t want Namjoon to feel that they were doing this because he was a burden as a little. He just wants to be a better caregiver, the others too.

It is harrowing to see how Namjoon had hurt himself yesterday. Despite Namjoon being clumsy running around the house, Jungkook and the other two were equally guilty for being the reason of the unforeseen incident.

“We want to discuss this when you’re not little so that you can understand everything…” Yoongi says further.

Namjoon let out a small sighed before he nods slowly. “Yeah, I know… I understand. Well, of course, my mother had her rules too when I’m in a little space. So I guess, all of you need to set the rules too…”


 

Namjoon eyes sparkle looking at the drawing where he and the rest of the members wrote the rules for little Joonie. The drawing by Jungkook was beautiful. Namjoon lips twitched into smile looking at the bear, the baby, the pacifier and all the little toys.

Jungkook knows how to make it look so fun and enchanting for little Namjoon. Having said that, Namjoon feels funny in his stomach as he keeps looking at the paper.  He didn't realize that he was unconsciously regressing to little space slowly. 

“So is this all? Are you okay with this, Joon?” asked Yoongi with concern. He needs to make sure that Namjoon was comfortable with all the rules set down by them. All of them were hanging around together at the living room, discussing the rules for little Namjoon.

Namjoon trance was cut through before he read the rules once again. A few second later he nodded his head. “I’m okay with it hyung…”

“The punishment? This spanking thing…”

Namjoon cocked his head to Hoseok who seems had something to say.

“Is it okay with you? We won’t do anything that you didn’t feel comfortable with…” Hoseok mentioned. He was quiet worried that the punishment seems too harsh on Namjoon.

Everyone knows that being a little, Namjoon was behaving like a kid. But still, he was a normal adult and to punish a normal adult with the same measure could be embarrassing and humiliating. As such they need to make sure that Namjoon will be okay with that.

Namjoon shook his head. “No, hyung. I mean, my mother had the same rules for me too. She used to spank me when I’m a brat…” tell Namjoon, chuckling in embarrassment and at the same time trying not to regress.

“It is a common thing for the parent to do that Joon. But for us…it was quite… emm you know, to spank you on your…”

Namjoon grunts as the other members laughing at Hoseok's words as he pointed his finger to Namjoon's lower region. They know it will be really weird for them to hit Namjoon on his butt for punishment. But being a caregiver it is equal to being a real parent. They have the same roles in educating and disciplining the little.

“For some reason, I think that was a weird kink shit!”

“Yah Taehyung! Why you have to say that out loud??” squeal Seokjin as he eye-glared at the male.

“Isn’t it enough for you to ask a morning kiss from Joonie?” spat Jimin.

“Don’t put the blame on me okay. All of you were as horny as I am. You get the same kiss too brat!” retaliated Taehyung.

“It started when your ass was on Namjoon! We can’t even trust you to sleep with him anymore!” Seokjin added to the argument.

“Oh come on! You just read the situation wrong. We were joking around. It just that you burst in at the wrong time!” Taehyung defended himself. He rolled his eyes with irritation as Seokjin keep on accusing him molesting Namjoon.

“I’m glad that I came at the right time. If not, only God knows what will you do to our Joonie!” refute Seokjin more.

Namjoon listening to the bickering with disbelief, the face was red as a tomato. They were basically arguing about yesterday incident. And to be honest the memory of it was still vague for Namjoon. It is a common thing for him not to have a clear memory whenever he regressed.

For them to say that Taehyung had done something to him and how he had given morning kisses to his members makes him dumbfounded. He still trying to have a clear view of the whole ordeal and hearing them ranting over it is embarrassing.

Namjoon wanted to interrupt the argument, asking the members about the incident but he feels himself floating. Like he was running in a field of cotton cloud – happy and free.

“Ap – appa? Dada?” he slurred with a whispering voice, calling his caregiver that seems too engulfed in their bickering.

“You horny piece of sh….”

Namjoon frowned when suddenly he can’t hear anything. He realized that someone had put a headphone to his ears and a piece of music blasting on his eardrum.

Namjoon turned his head to the side and he saw Jungkook was smiling to him – meaningfully. Namjoon frowned and when he tried to take off the headphone, Jungkook holds his hand and shook his head.

“Don’t curse in front of Joonie!” shouted Jungkook.

Instantly, the living room becomes silence and their eyes now on Jungkook and Namjoon. Their eyes widen when they saw how Namjoon looks at them with sparkling eyes and sucking his thumb.

“Oh God! Did he regressed when we were arguing??” asked Seokjin bewildered.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I notice he was acting weird when he looks at my drawing. You guys seriously need to be more focus about him instead of arguing over something trivial, ” he notes affirmatively.

Jimin took the first move, crawled at the little and kneeled in front of Namjoon. He pulled Namjoon's hand, preventing him from sucking his own thumb. Namjoon whined at the loss and looks at his dada with a pouty lip.

“No, baby. You can’t do that. It is not hygienic…” he says with a tender voice.

“Do you think he needs a pacifier?” asked Hoseok while looking at the little.

Seokjin suddenly jumped from his seat, making everyone to flinch at his abrupt action. Seokjin ignored the protest made by his dongsaeng and almost running to the kitchen. He took less than a minute to join back his members at the living room with a wide smile.

“Joonie!!! Looks what appa has for you!!” he drags his voice and jiggles the tiny blue thing with two of his fingers.

Namjoon eyes widen when he saw the item, eyes beaming with enthusiast. “Wyan! Joonie wan appa! It – it’s pwetty!” he squeals in excitement.

“Isn’t that a pacifier?” asked Yoongi incredulously. The others also look a little bit surprised to see the object and how Namjoon was extremely happy to see it.

Seokjin laughed heartily before he approached the little. “Say ah…”

Namjoon opened up his mouth slowly, making a long and loud sound of ‘ah’. Now the blue Ryan pacifier stuck in between of his plump lips and Namjoon bouncing in his seat happily.

“Oh baby, you are so cute!!!!” Jimin screamed and he squished Namjoon's chubby cheek as the little busy sucking his pacifier.

Namjoon giggles at his dada's excitement and the others were swooning over Namjoon's cuteness.

“He really looks like a baby now…” said Taehyung and everyone nods in agreement with him.

They help Namjoon to sit on the floor and Seokjin put some toys in the table for Namjoon to play – various type of wheels. Namjoon was so happy to see it and continue to play while listening to the music. Meanwhile, the others having fun watching some series on Netflix.

“What song did you play for Joonie?” asked Yoongi when he saw how Namjoon is bobbing his head gleefully playing with his toys.

“Linkin Park, ” Jungkook said nonchalantly.

“A what?? Yah how could you…”

“Hyung, calm down, please. It’s a nursery rhyme. I downloaded it last night for Joonie, ” cuts Jungkook as he grinned sheepishly. Feeling amused that he manages to tease the elder.

Yoongi begrudgingly stares at the maknae before he smacked his head. Jungkook hissed in pain and the other was laughing looking at the two.

“Wook – wook… Joonie haf a bus!” the little squeak while the pacifier between his lips. He shows the red bus to his caregivers. His caregivers stare at the little with adoration.

“A bus song!! Joonie wove this song!” the little shouted happily as he moved his head to the left and right, playing with the red bus on the table.

“Bus song?” Jimin questioned and the others were frowning too.

“The wheel on the bus go wound and wound…wound and wound all twu the town…!” Namjoon starts singing the nursery rhymes gleefully. He almost drops the pacifier before he quickly secured it back to his lips.

“Ah, that song!” Jungkook suddenly remembered and start to play it on the tv. He took off the headphone from Namjoon's head making the little to whimper.

“Joo – joonie song!” he says as his lips quiver.

Jungkook was flustered. “Sorry – sorry Joonie. I’ll play it here so we can sing together, okay?” he coaxed the little.

Namjoon cocked his head to the tv and he was smiling up to his ears when he saw the same song played on the tv. This time together with the video. He clapped his hand happily. The others cooed at the little.

“The wheel on the bus go wound and wound, wound and wound…the wheel on the bus go wound and wound…all twu the town….” He sings joyfully while the other's eyes stuck on the TV, reading the lyrics display and humming the tunes.

It took them only a few seconds to get familiar with the song before they started singing together with Namjoon while the little was giggling at his caregivers excitedly.

“The wiper on the bus go…” the member's song gleefully.

“Swish swish swish…” Namjoon sings through his pacifier. Making his speech slurred. The members were chuckling looking at the happy little.

They continue to sing with Namjoon on the nursery rhymes, making it like their mini concert and they were having fun with little Namjoon.

“Voom voom voom, voom voom voom…” Namjoon sang out loud, holding his bus higher and make it move back and forth.

And then the others in unison sang, “All through the town!!!”

 





 

Chapter Text

 


 

Namjoon stares at all his members as they stand in the middle of the studio – getting ready to start practicing the dance of their new song; Fake Love. He pouted as he feels disappointed that he couldn’t join the practice because of his swollen ribs.

After a week of resting at the dorm, the dark bruise slowly disappeared but the throbbing pain was still there if he tries to make an aggressive movement. Thus, the physician had asked him to rest for another one week before he can start dancing again.

Much to his dismay, he reluctantly agreed and the rest of the members also very adamant for him to take a good rest.

Namjoon was willing to argue with Seokjin and Yoongi when they asked him to just sit and watched the practice. But when Hoseok gives him the murderous stare, piercing directly to his heart, Namjoon cowered immediately.

Everyone knows how serious Hoseok will be when it comes to dancing. He will not compromise with any mistakes and everyone will get tense each time he leads the choreography. In which, Namjoon won’t take any risk to makes the dancer angry.

Namjoon watched how smooth and swift the movement of his members while dancing. His lips slightly parted in amazement to see how synchronized they were on each step. Deep down inside his heart, he feels jealous that he was still lacking in his dancing skill compared to others.

He always heard about k-Netz keeps on pestering about his jelly legs, how he’s so stiff while dancing and how he looks awkward with his tall and lanky limbs. Of course, he had a lot of progress since their debut days, but it wasn’t enough.

Namjoon wished he can moves like Jimin, so beautiful and so smooth like the silk. He wanted to dance like Hoseok, with so much power and charisma. He was zealously practicing for years but his legs and hands wasn’t co operate that much.

For an odd reason, Namjoon really hates that he has lacked so much to be compared with his other member. The only talent he has was composing songs. However, sometimes it hits him really hard when some of the fans didn’t like his song – criticizing the lyrics and the music arrangement, up to not their liking and taste.

He wonders, did he really has the right to be in BTS? He remembers the day when one of the fans had shouted at him at the airport that he has no talent at all except for being the leader of BTS. Which he complies with such statement and replied ‘I know' with disheartened.

“Namjoonie?”

Namjoon startled a little bit before he lifted his head to see the owner of the voice. Hoseok had been staring at him intensely, while he tries to catch up his breath, sweating profusely after the strenuous dance.

“Hobi…”

Hoseok crouched down in front of the leader, noticing the pouty lips of the said male when he glanced at Namjoon through the mirror while dancing for a while ago. He seems so deep in thought and distraught.

“Are you okay? Do you need to lie down? Does it hurt sitting too long?” Hoseok asked with concern.

Namjoon furrowed at the rapid questions, looking at Hoseok amusingly. “Hobi, you worried too much. I’m fine…” he answered truthfully.

The ribs still had the bruise but the color already faded away. The pain barely there without any pressure on it. He’s getting better day by day.

“Then what’s this kind of expression you have all day long?” Hoseok mentioned while his hand patted on Namjoon's side of head gently.

Namjoon sheepishly smiles, scratching the back of his neck – a little bit embarrassed that Hoseok had caught him moping around when the other was busy practicing. “Nothing… I just… emm… bored?”

Hoseok brows arched together at the answer, looking at Namjoon incredulously. “Bored?”

Namjoon nods, gnawing his lower lips. He didn’t realize how Hoseok has been swooning over his cute face when he did that subconsciously whenever he is nervous.

“I should be practicing with all of you…but now I’m here just sitting down doing nothing. I feel… useless…” Namjoon gushes as he played with his fingers – feeling edgy after he let out his own sentiment.

Hoseok sighed hearing Namjoon's elucidation of his struggling openly. It is a rare occasion for the members to hear such thing from the leader. He was really introvert, extremely reticent about his personal feeling. When most of the members like to talk and share about their thought and feeling, Namjoon almost reserved to himself.

Hoseok flumps his fine ass to the dance floor, while the rest of the members take a rest from practicing – assembled at the corner of the room, without any intention to interrupt the two. They were taken aback when they heard the leader's word just now, feeling despair that Namjoon had such thought about himself.

Didn’t he know that he is the most amazing person they ever know? That he is the best leader they ever have? That he is the most beautiful person; in and out?

“Joonie…why? Why did you think like that?” pose Hoseok, wanted to know the reason behind the negativity.

Namjoon bites his lips as he keeps fiddling with his fingers, head downwards – afraid to see Hoseok's hurt expression. He didn’t have any intention to say it out loud, and now he had made his bandmates worried about him for something trivial.

“No – nothing…” he try to deny and averted his eyes towards Hoseok for a second before he continues to stare at his fingers again. “I’m just… I’m just blabbering hyung, nothing important. No need to take it seriously, you know…”

“Joonie – ah…” Hoseok put his hand on Namjoon's, making the younger to flinch at the abrupt gestures. However, he still afraid to look at Hoseok directly, eyes quiver around the room nervously except Hoseok and his bandmates.

“Whatever you feel is important to me, and to all of us. It’s okay if you feel a little bit down but at the same time, you can share it with us. We wanted to be there for you too. The same thing that you always do when any of us need the help, ” Hoseok notes with a serious tone.

Namjoon let out a nervous laugh, stroking his hair to the back before he leaned on the wall – eyes now directly on Hoseok; teary. Namjoon didn’t know why he feels so weak and how he couldn’t handle his emotional breakdown like before. He didn’t like to show this weak side of him to the members. He didn’t want any of them to think that he had failed to be a strong leader.

“This injury… I had caused trouble for all of you. I'm the reason we need to push back our comeback. I should be more careful and avoid any accident that can affect BTS. But – but being a clumsy dork... I’m…”

Namjoon didn’t know how to express his sadness further, feeling at lost of his words. His voice shaking and he was on the verge of crying. Something he has rarely done except he was emotionally exasperated.

Maybe the members had said to him that it is fine for them. The members never blame him for getting injured when the comeback just around the corner. The members never got mad at him when he couldn’t join the dance practice when the fact that he still didn’t perfect the move like the others.

But being the leader, Namjoon blamed himself for his negligent act. He feels guilty that he had dragged down the team. He might have regressed to little space as a defense mechanism, a way to hide his guilt but now or later he still needs to confront the consequences.

“You are allowed to be sick and get a good rest, hyung!”

Namjoon startled at the brisk voice before he raised his head to see Jungkook. The other members had approached the leader and Hoseok, swamp the two and sits on the floor – circling Namjoon.

“You just a human being Namjoon. You can feel sad, sick and even tired as much as you wanted. You are not bound to be perfect. Everyone will understand if you feel down sometimes. Each of us had gone through the same thing too, ” Jimin speaks as he caressed on the leader's knee softly.

Namjoon hummed, looking at his bandmates with teary eyes. He flashed a weak smile, feeling happy that his bandmates being so supportive and so understanding. He couldn’t ask for more. He was blessed that he had the best friends to go through all the hardship.

“We love you Joonie. As much as you always accommodate our feeling and our need, we want to do the same to you too. Remember how you had been there for us when I and Tae had the argument during our last concert? How you professionally settled the problem without causing any hassle?” told Seokjin.

Namjoon smile and nods, reminiscing the last tour concert. How Taehyung had been crying before they go on stage after the miscommunication with Seokjin. He was relieved that the two doesn’t get into a fight that day.

“You had been there when I collapsed during the concert too, hyung. How much I had pushed myself that I feel so sick and lethargic that day…” continues Jungkook as he grabbed Namjoon's hand and squeezed it lightly.

Namjoon couldn’t hold his tears anymore when he remembered the day when Jungkook need medical attention after he collapsed out of fatigue on the backstage. He didn’t feel ashamed when he shed those fat tears. He just being emotional and the memory of Jungkook passed out really horrendous and terrifying.

“I – I was scared Kookie…” he said with a shaken voice and he can feel Jungkook grips tightened on his hand. “Seeing you like that, I feel scared. I didn’t know what should I do. You were the maknae and you had been working more than you should.”

“Everyone works harder, hyung…” Jungkook rectifies Namjoon's statement.

Namjoon hummed. “I’m might be a leader, but – but I’m still a kid. The responsibility to lead this group is harrowing. Sometimes, I might not know how to deal with the problem. I might make the wrong decision. I’m afraid that I will bring this group down for my incompetence…”

“Yah Kim Namjoon! Don’t you dare to say that again about yourself!!”

Namjoon jolted at the shouting, darted his eyes to Yoongi. His heart hammering out loud to see the darken expression of the oldest rapper of BTS. He swallowed harder as fear started to engulf him when the rapper staring at him with his deadly eyes.

“Hy – hyung… I – I…”

Yoongi lips parted slightly, trying to say something before someone had smacked the back of his head. Yoongi screamed out of pain, cocking his head to the side to see the culprit.

“Don’t yell at Joonie, you jerk!” snarled Seokjin, the one who had hits the rapper.

Yoongi rubs his head as he bawled his eyes in irritation. The others were looking at the two with disbelief and a little bit nervous. Afraid that they will start a fist fight in the dance studio.

“Do you need to smack me? You almost cause me to have a concussion!” said Yoongi exaggeratedly.

“Don’t say something stupid in front of our dongsaeng, Yoongi!” Seokjin ridiculed the rapper.

Yoongi was about to retaliate back when a soft giggle erupted. Everyone attention was drawn back to the leader where he was looking at Yoongi and Seokjin while giggling, hand over his mouth; adorable.

Everyone was swooning over the leader, feeling at ease that Namjoon's mood had enlightened a little bit.

“You two – look like a married couple arguing over something, ” Namjoon made a remark between his laugh.

“Don’t say that Namjoon. I heard enough of it! It’s disgusting!” refute Yoongi.

Seokjin smacked Yoongi once again, this time on his forearm. “Yah! What do you mean by that? Do you think I’m enjoying myself to be paired with you? A grumpy grandpa like you? Eww…” he spurts exasperatedly. Almost exaggerating like always.

“Grand – pa what?? That – that’s too much hyung. And what are you? Some old aunty that like to gossip around with another aunty?” mocked Yoongi.

Seokjin and Yoongi keep exchanging their derision remarks, ignoring the youngers around them – watching the oldest in the group bickering like teenagers.

“These two really…just get married please!” Hoseok said with annoyance evidently shows on his face.

“But I thought they were the imaginary parent in this group hyung. They already married, right?” said Taehyung.

Jimin clicked his tongue at the statement. “You and your weird thoughts Tae!”

“We really had a bunch of weirdos in this group!” said Jungkook as he crawled to Namjoon's side and let out a burst of soft laughter at his hyungs.

Jungkook glanced for a second to see Namjoon’s cheerful face as he keeps watching the others enthusiastically.

“I guess we are the one that being normal here, hyung…” notes Jungkook. He slowly took Namjoon’s hand and intertwined their fingers together.

Namjoon was taken aback at the sudden gestures, tilted his head to see the golden maknae. “Kookie?” his brows furrowed in confusion.

Jungkook smiles fondly at his precious leader. “Despite us being so chaotic and weird, you know that we really love you hyung, right?” Jungkook speaks with a pure voice. Eyes fixated on the shocked face of the leader.

“And you are the best leader in this world!” continues the maknae with an affirmative tone.

Jungkook wanted to show that he really meant what he said and the others will agree with him too. In fact, no one can deny that Namjoon is the best leader for BTS and no one can take his place. Not even the other members themselves.

It took Namjoon for a few seconds to process Jungkook's words before he nodded slowly in agreement. His lips twitched into a small smile and he tightened the grips over Jungkook's hand.

“I know… and I love all of you too…” he says genuinely.

“We love you too!!” the others scream almost in unison.

Namjoon laughed at the shout out and every one carefully pounced over the leader, not to pressure his ribs and gives him the hug he deserved.

Kim Namjoon, the best leader of BTS. No doubt to it. Not even Namjoon can doubt it himself.

 





Chapter Text


 

After the emotional talk, the six members resume their dance practice while Namjoon stays at the back watching their swift and smooth dance with a fond smile. Still a little bit sentimental about his inability to join the rest but it is much better than before.

However, the peaceful enjoyed by Namjoon didn't last too long.

Namjoon's breath hitched at an instant when he saw Sukhoon entered the studio with Sejin behind him. He can see the piercing gaze given by the new manager when their eyes met. Namjoon starts to feel a little bit edgy with his unwanted presence.

Sejin approached the leader with a big smile and Namjoon trying his best not to show how he is nearly unhinged when Sukhoon stands behind Sejin with his smug face. He really hates that man!

“How do you feel Namjoon?” asked Sejin when Namjoon slowly stand and bow at him with respect.

“I’m good, hyung. It’s getting better…”

Sejin smile as he pats on Namjoon’s shoulder fondly. “Good to hear that. PD-nim is quite worried about the injury and had asked you to rest well. We don’t want to stress our great leader too much before the comeback.”

“Thanks, hyung. I’m sorry for the trouble though. Should be more careful but you know how clumsy I am…” says Namjoon while he scratched the back of his neck with a nervous laugh – feeling guilty.

“We won’t call you God of Destruction for nothing, Namjoon-ssi, ” interrupt Sukhoon as he smirked at Namjoon.

Namjoon was startled at the derision remark. And he can hear how Sejin instantly clicked his tongue at Sukhoon, obviously disapproved at his rudeness.

“Not that he purposely injured himself, Sukhoon, ” detest Sejin with his stern voice. His eyes glanced at the new manager, uneasy with his boldness while he talks to Namjoon.

Sukhoon fakes his laugh at the comment. “Maybe Namjoon was too excited playing at the dorm like a kid and tripped himself. Right?” he notes as his hawk eyes on Namjoon, voice turned to a sharp blade.

Namjoon holds his breath as he heard the allegation, looking at Sukhoon anxiously. He knows what was the manager trying to indicates. He feels uncomfortable out of sudden, his whole body stiffen on the thought that Sukhoon might spill his secret to Sejin - purposely. Namjoon can see the mala fide behind his words perspicuously. 

Sejin frowned as he stares at Sukhoon. He always felt a little bit off about Sukhoon. Something is wrong with the new manager but he can't figure out what was that. He doesn’t want to be paranoid but sometimes Sukhoon was acting really weird – especially towards Namjoon. He does realize how Sukhoon always said something unkind to Namjoon this lately.

Sejin turned his head towards Namjoon when he can see the discomfort on Namjoon's expression. “Don’t worry too much Namjoon. PD-nim understands the situation and the comeback was still on schedule. I hope you don’t strain yourself within that time.”

Namjoon nods his head weakly. “Yeah, I – I really appreciate that Sejin-hyung…” he answered with glum thinking about the comeback.

Feeling a little bit suffocating with Sukhoon continuous teasing eyes, Namjoon dismissed himself to go the restroom, leaving the two hurriedly without looking or waits for the answer. He didn’t want the rest of his members to get suspicious about his discomfort.

Namjoon stares his reflection in the big mirror. He can see clearly the malaise and fatigue on his face. He barely had the sleep after the incident because of the immersed pain each time he moves violently on the bed.

He constantly makes used of the sleepless nights to write a few songs through his laptop. Of course, the members had forbidden him to go to the studio alone since he injured himself. Knowing exactly that he will be there till morning without any supervision. He always forgot about the time whenever he was so immersed with his music in the studio.

The members had made it clear to him that he was allowed to work within a specific hour. And in the bedroom only. No studio, no RKive. Which he reluctantly agreed because the members keep checking on him every fifteen minutes. It makes him annoyed sometimes with the overflows and unnecessary attention but still, he is grateful that the members were concerned about his well being.

Namjoon splashed the running water through the faucet to his face – feeling refresh after the cold water had touched his skin. He took the tissue on the side of the counter, wipe dry his face and he smiles to his own image in the mirror. Feeling much better than before.

Namjoon was about to leave the bathroom when someone came in. His eyes widen when he saw it is Sukhoon. Namjoon's heart pounding when Sukhoon maliciously locked the door. He almost forgot to breath when he notices the evil expression.

What the?

Namjoon distanced himself from Sukhoon when the male marched toward him slowly. Namjoon moves a few steps backward. “Wh – what do you want?” he asked, stuttering in fear.

Sukhoon smirk as he clearly sees how Namjoon's body start to tremble. He likes the feel how the leader becomes so small in front of him, shaking like a leaf. Sukhoon enjoy the power he had over the male. It's beguiling. 

“Namjoon… Namjoon… Namjoon…” he chanted the name with a soft chuckle.

Namjoon arched his brows at the annoying laughs. He didn’t feel good at all. He can see the changes in Sukhoon’s face. How it is different and creepier than before.

“What do you want from me?" Namjoon asked devastated.

Sukhoon ignores the question, let out a sniggering to further irritates Namjoon. He really likes to tease the male. It is so much fun!

"Just tell me damn it!” Namjoon yelled at the said male after being provoked by the eerie silence and playful demeanor. He really hates it when Sukhoon did that to him.

Sukhoon let out another half-suppressed laugh, eyes murderously stare at the male for his audacity. He moved forward trying to intimidate the male and Namjoon backs up with fear.

Namjoon gasped when his back hits the wall. He hold his breath when Sukhoon became closer to him, towering him with his big and tall built. The fact that Sukhoon is taller than him is definitely harrowing.

And then a loud smacked echoed in the bathroom. Namjoon eyes widen in shocked with lips slightly parted.  His cheek feels the sting sensation when he slowly touched it with his bare hand after being slapped by Sukhoon.

“Don’t you dare to talk like that to me Namjoon!” sneered Sukhoon with a sharp stare. He grabbed Namjoon's cheek, making the said male to grimace at the violent grips.

“You should be lucky that I didn’t torture you more than this Namjoon. You can't imagine the pain if I cut open your skin with the blade! That will be a great pleasure to see how well will you endure the pain and how beautiful the red blood flow from it. Don't you think so, Kim Namjoon?"

Danger has its own smell, it’s own distinctive set of signals. Namjoon was being shadowed by a profound, merciless, gut-shaking fear – fueled by the dim lights, the small space, and the silence surroundings – which tramps beside him like an uninvited, hungry dog.

Namjoon can feel his knees buckle with such threats and the harsh grip over his face. He can smell the danger from Sukhoon’s voice. It was full of hatred and vengeance. The threats to cause grievous harm towards him is really serious and horrendous. Namjoon body was shaking in terror.

Sukhoon scoffs looking how frailed Namjoon was in front of him. He let go of his hand, shoves Namjoon's face to the side with anger. Namjoon let out a low yelp out of pain.

“Why – why are you doing this to me?” Namjoon asked with a shaken voice, almost having a breakdown. He couldn't stop himself from asking such a question. He stares at the male with his teary eyes, hoping that Sukhoon will give him a definite answer.

Namjoon was confused. What kind of enmity been abhorred by Sukhoon against him? Namjoon couldn’t find any clue or he can't recall if he ever makes him or someone mad before. Why Sukhoon hates him so much? Why did he want to torture Namjoon? Namjoon didn’t understand at all.

Sukhoon scowls at the question, looking at Namjoon intensely. Like he was ready to pounce over the male and killed him on the sight. However, he shook his head, trying to calm himself down. This is not the right time to do that. He still eager to see Namjoon suffer more than this. He wanted to torment the said male until he is satisfied. Even though it's mean he needs to kill Namjoon.

Sukhoon curved into an evil smirk before he answered Namjoon's question. “Well, you’ll know the reason one day. I’m still not satisfied playing with you Kim Namjoon-ssi. This is the retribution that you need to pay for all my misery!”

Namjoon frowned at the statement. “Retribution? Misery? What do you mean by that?” he asked warily.

Another slap inflicted on Namjoon's cheek, making the used to be red cheek become redder. His fingerprint visibly printed on the second slap. Namjoon hissed in pain at the unexpected attack.

“I said don’t you dare to talk back to me like that! I hate it when you try to act so innocent in front of me. That makes me sick!” he shouted in wrath.

Sukhoon stroke his hair to the back begrudgingly, glancing at Namjoon now had shed his tears of agony. Sukhoon chided at the view, feeling amused that a leader of a worldwide well-known BTS was crying over a trivial matter.

“You looks pathetic Namjoon-ssi. I didn't know how you have been chosen as the leader. There are other people more qualified to be in your place. You didn't deserve it at all. A weak and selfish person like you are not fit to be the leader!" he spats his venomous words effortlessly.

Namjoon said nothing to the statement, head dangled down staring blankly on the tile floor. He had been listening to the same words for years. Since his debut days till today. He had become immune to hear such nasty comments throughout the years. He worked so hard to prove them wrong. But still, it was never enough.

"Pathetic loser!" Sukhoon cuss before he left the restroom and slammed the door harshly.

Namjoon flinched and remained in his position for a while before his senses come back to him. The overwhelming feeling he had with Sukhoon started to give effect slowly. Namjoon slides down from the wall and slumps onto the dirty tile floor. He wouldn't care so much about that.

Namjoon grits his teeth in anger, folded his knees to the chest as he let his ugly tears cascade through the damp. He clenched his fist until the knuckles turn to white. He feels so mad that he wanted to let out his frustration with a loud screaming.

But he can't do that in here. Everyone will hear his voice. Namjoon didn't want to attract any unnecessary attention. Namjoon feels stuck and the unbearable weight of the emotion on his heart starts to engulf him. He fisted his chest, trying to chase the pain away but he knows it is useless. Namjoon closed his eyes as the tears flow like a river.

What he had done to Sukhoon for him to hates him like this? What kind of misery had he given to the male? What retribution? Why is Sukhoon doing all this to him? Why? Why?

The same question keeps on playing in his mind. Lots of questions but there's no answer to it. He feels so helpless and useless.

Namjoon rests his head on the knees, sobbing sorrowfully. He had always felt insecure about himself, feeling inadequate as the leader because of his lack of talent compared with the other members. He still blames himself after he had dragged down his teammates because of his injury. And now Sukhoon had added another misery in his life.

Namjoon didn’t know for how long he had been in the restroom moping and crying silently. Yoongi was looking for him when he was flabbergasted to see the leader crying on the floor. When Namjoon saw the rapper at the doorframe, looking at him bemused - Namjoon instantly wailing calling for his daddy, now fully regressed to little space out of distress.

Yoongi automatically runs towards the little, almost trip his own foot before he kneeled in front of Namjoon. “Namjoon? Joon? Joonie? Baby? What’s wrong? Why are you sitting on the floor? Did you hurt yourself?” Yoongi was panicking.

Namjoon shook his head vigorously, continue to cry in grief. “Daddy!”

Yoongi gasped when he saw the swollen cheek. He cupped the face softly, looking at the injury thoroughly. “Wh-what happen? What happen Joonie-ah???”

“Daddy! Daddy! Home… home!!!” Namjoon wailed, refused to answer the question. He just wanted to go home and lying on his bed hugging his precious Ryan. He didn't want to be here anymore. He feels suffocated. Emotionally.

Yoongi can hear how his heart shattered into pieces listening to Namjoon’s broken voice. He pulled the little in a tight embrace where Namjoon continues to cry on his chest. Yoongi squeezed shut his eyes as he took a deep breath. He then took out his phone, send the message to all his members in the group chat about what had happened.

Namjoon was clinging to Yoongi, hooking his hand to Yoongi's neck tightly. Even the slightest move made by the elder had made him whimpering. Yoongi sat on the floor with Namjoon on his lap, holding the sobbing little until the rest of the members swamp into the restroom  - panting heavily. Basically, all of them were running as fast as they can after they received the message.

“What happened?” shrieked Seokjin when all of them now approaching the little and the small rapper. They were shocked to see both of them sitting on the floor and how Yoongi was cuddling their precious leader.

Namjoon nuzzled his face further, hiding his face onto Yoongi's chest when he heard Seokjin's brisk voice. His almost dried tears start to roll again and his body was shaking.

Yoongi makes an ‘shhh’ sound when he feels how the little squirmed with discomfort. Seokjin clammed his lips together in guilt. He continues to ask in silence ‘what happen’ to Yoongi.

Yoongi shook his head. “I don’t know hyung. I found him crying on the floor…” whispered Yoongi exasperatedly. He rocks the little's body trying to console him.

Seokjin and the others frowning with quizzical looks as they peered over the little in Yoongi's embrace.

“And his cheek was swollen…” continues Yoongi with a strained voice. He hates the fact that Namjoon injured himself once again and no one knows what had happened to him.

To think that he was alone had made his heart clenched with anger and wrath. They had made the rules and regulation that Namjoon won’t be going anywhere alone but everyone seems to forget the main rules. But Yoongi can’t blame anyone for this because he himself was at wrong too. No one ever realized that Namjoon was gone to the restroom until they had finished the practice just now.

“What??” all of them whisper yelled almost simultaneously.

Namjoon whimpered, feeling agitates even at the slightest noise made by the members. When Seokjin tried to move his body to see his cheek, Namjoon starts to cry harder and his hand tugging over Yoongi's shirt tightly.

Seokjin sighed at the refusal. “Is it bad? Did he injured himself again?” he asked in concern.

Yoongi shrugs. “I don’t know. He just keeps on crying when I asked him…”

“Da – daddy… home… home… pwease…” Namjoon silently pleads, pulling the shirt down for a few times. “Pwease…”

Yoongi gave a sad gaze towards Seokjin and he notices the rest was looking with worries evidently shows on their handsome faces too.

“Do you think we were able to get out from here without any suspicion? He is a little now. And everyone was here. They might be wondering what is happening…” said Jimin.

Everyone nods in agreement. It wasn’t safe for them to just go out there without creating any scene. Especially in a broad daylight. Everyone will see them and most of the fans were waiting for them in front of the BigHit building. Namjoon is in the little space and basically still in a crying mess.

“Should we tell Sejin-hyung about this?” proposed Jungkook out of blue.

It was pure silence in the restroom as they were thinking about Jungkook's suggestion. If they were going to ask for Sejin's help, that’s mean they need to tell the manager about Namjoon's little space. The main question is, will Namjoon agree to share about it with other people than the BTS?

“Is it appropriate to do that?” Taehyung voice out his concern while he looks at his members one by one.

“But we need someone to secure our situation. And I think Sejin-hyung is the right person to do that, ” Hoseok then explained. In agreement with Jungkook. Jimin nods his head, in consensus with Hoseok and Jungkook.

Yoongi and Seokjin exchanged gazes for a few moments, in deep thought as to whether it was the right time to do. But they need to get out from here. Namjoon won’t stop crying and to walk with him in his condition will stir speculation among the fan and the worst of all – media.

They need to avoid any scandal before their comeback. It won’t do good for their image. Namjoon himself wouldn’t like to expose himself to the public. They need to think fast in this situation.

“Daddy… I – I wanna go home…” Namjoon mewl feebly when Yoongi keeps ignoring his request. Yoongi tightens his grip on Namjoon’s shoulder, gawking at Seokjin helplessly.

Seokjin then took a deep breather, turned his head towards Hoseok before he firmly said, “Call Sejin-hyung!”

 





 

Chapter Text

 


 

Sukhoon walked in the hallway in high dudgeon, cursing to himself after the encounter with Namjoon. He couldn't contain his anger any longer, need to let it out as soon as possible. He was on the verge of punching the concrete wall if he wasn't in the BigHit building.


"Stupid Kim Namjoon! I'll make sure he will pay for all this misery. That pathetic asshole!!" He spats in hatred and grudge.

"Sukhoon-ssi!"

Sukhoon almost jumped out at the sudden interruption, flabbergasted when he almost collided with Sejin as his attention was distracted earlier.

"I heard you were cursing someone..." said Sejin as he gawks at the manager with a quizzical look. He notices the reddened face of the manager.

Sukhoon anxiously swallowed his own saliva, crossing his finger that Sejin didn't fully hear to his rants just now. He grinned nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ah, Sejin-ssi. I was mumbling to myself..." he lied effortlessly.

Sejin puckers his eyebrows. "Don't say that you were cursing yourself Sukhoon. That will be weird though..." he alleged conspicuously.

Sukhoon clears his throat, let out an awkwardly. "Yeah, I was just mad at myself for being forgetful. I left my phone at home today..." he speaks another lie like it was his daily food.

Sejin hummed but still couldn't brush away his suspicious over Sukhoon's odd behavior. It's getting oblivious day by day. He was about to say another thing when his phone ringing. Sejin took out his phone, furrowed his brows when he saw Taehyung's name been displayed on the screen.

"Yes, Tae...what? Ok, I'm on my way!"

Sukhoon stares at Sejin, feeling the urgency to know behind his worried tone talking to Taehyung. What is it? Is it about Namjoon? Did they found him in the restroom?

"We'll talk later. I need to go now!" says Sejin hurriedly.

"What's wrong Sejin? Is there something happen to the boys? Can I come with you?" Sukhoon faking his concerned.

Sejin immediately shook his head. "No need. It's something you can't handle..."

Sukhoon grits his teeth in anger at the statement. "What do you mean? I'm their manager too. I have the right to know about the boys too..." he refuted furiously.

Sejin looks at Sukhoon with disbelief, frowning in confusion at his demeanor. It was so peculiar to see how he acted so carelessly unhinged.

"You're the new manager, been appointed to assist me if I couldn't manage their schedules alone. Not that you are going to take over my place, Sukhoon-ssi!" notes Sejin in a stern voice.

Sukhoon was taken aback at the saying, looking at Sejin bewildered. He wanted to rebuke the statement but Sukhoon was holding himself not to show his wrath in front of Sejin.

This is not the right time to do so. Sukhoon knows he needs to be more careful with Sejin. Sejin is not easy to deal with. He might expose himself in front of the manager if he continues to argue with the male.

"Ah, I'm sorry Sejin-ssi. I didn't mean that way. I'm sorry if you feel that way!" said Sukhoon, showing his apologetic expression - which is a mere façade.

Sejin let out a small grunt at the oblivious act, disliking the latter's attitude. But he didn't have time to lecture the male right now. He has something important to attend to.

"Nevermind. We'll discuss this later. See you tomorrow!" said Sejin before he left the new manager alone.

Sukhoon squinted his eyes, looking at Sejin's silhouette almost running heading to somewhere. And Sukhoon believes that Sejin was going to meet with the BTS - to see what had happened to Namjoon.

Sukhoon clicked his tongue before he slowly curved into an evil smirk. He had the gut feeling that Namjoon might be slipped into a little space after their encounter earlier. His bandmates will need help to make sure the leader's secret didn't get exposed. To do that, of course, they need Sejin.

Sejin always does the dirty things for BTS. Poor guy being used for something pathetic like Namjoon.

"It's getting more excited right now. I want to see for how long will you able to keep your dirty secret, Namjoon. I'll make sure you'll pay for everything you had done. You had messed up with the wrong person. I'm going to make your life miserable!"

 


 

"Joonie... Sejin-hyung will come and help us to get out from here. Is it okay for you if - if he knows about you?"

Namjoon fisted his hand on Yoongi's shirt, making it crumpled with the tightness. He hides his face further, still sobbing in the embrace of the rapper.

"Sejin-hyung is a nice man. He comes to help us. Okay?" coaxed Seokjin as he caressed the little's damp hair.

Namjoon whined at the touch but later nods his head. He didn't fully understand the consequences of his situation right now. But he managed to grasp that Sejin will know about his little space.

The thought of it makes Namjoon wanted to cower himself in a defense mechanism - hiding anywhere, everywhere from being embarrassingly exposed in front of the manager.

"We will briefly tell Sejin about this. And we wanted you yourself to explain everything to Sejin about the whole situation, okay?" continue Seokjin.

They were not running away from responsibility. No. Don't get them wrong. Only Namjoon has the right to tell about his little space to Sejin or to someone else. The members only can assist and helping him to confront the harrowing situation. Being there for him as the biggest supporter.

"Big Joonie needs to tell Sejin-hyung about little Joonie himself, okay?" add Yoongi while he caressed Namjoon's hair. He can feel how Namjoon weakly nods his head while he sniffed sadly.

Yoongi averted his eyes towards Seokjin, giving him a meaningful smile but at the same time, his face evidently shows how much concerned he was about exposing Namjoon to Sejin while he 's still in the little space.

Seokjin exhaled deeply and puts his hand to Yoongi's shoulder, mouthing 'everything will be fine' to the rapper as an assurance. Despite that, he himself feels a little bit worried about what's coming up.

He wonder how Sejin will react to the revelation? Will he be subtle like him or will he be a little bit overwhelmed like Jungkook?

Everyone attention drifted to the now widely open door where they can see Sejin entered the restroom with a frown face. Sejin, of course, feeling confused as to why the BTS hanging out in the restroom.

When his eyes moved to Yoongi and Namjoon sitting on the floor where Yoongi were hugging the leader on his lap, Sejin furrowed with further confusion.

Why Namjoon sits on Yoongi's lap? Isn't that really weird? And since when did Yoongi being so cuddly and attentive like that?

Seokjin gets up and approached the manager, feeling anxious as his eyes quiver around his bandmates - standing nearby the counter. Everyone was nervous. It is obvious.

"Sejin-hyung..."

Sejin eyes on Seokjin for a second before he once again stares at Yoongi and Namjoon. "What happens? And why Yoongi and Namjoon..."

Seokjin grabs Sejin's forearm as he heard Namjoon whimpered at the questions. Sejin looks at Seokjin with an unsolved mystery, asking the said male to explain to him the whole ordeal.

"Actually it is a long story and I'm afraid that it is hard for us to explain. But we need your help right now, hyung, " said Seokjin with a pleading voice. He hopes Sejin will understand their situation.

Sejin frowned deeper. "What do you mean by that? Is there something happen to Namjoon?" he asked with concerns.

"Well about that, actually Namjoon didn't feel good right now..." brief Seokjin.

Sejin darted his gaze over the leader of BTS, still wondering what had happened to the charismatic leader as he tightly hugged Yoongi. And Sejin notices the streak of tears on Namjoon's face. His heart almost clenched at the view, knowing exactly that Namjoon hardly cries except if there's something serious going on.

But what is it?

"Did he hurt himself again?" asked Sejin. That was the first thing came to his mind. The most logical reason.

Seokjin weakly nods. "We didn't know exactly about that. We found him crying on the floor. And his cheek was swollen..."

Sejin remained silence for a moment, trying to process the information given by Seokjin. How many times per day that Namjoon had injured himself? He knows that Namjoon was clumsy but for him to be super clumsy was kind of absurd.

And how did he injured his own face? He can't accidentally hit the wall out of nowhere.

"Daddy...scawed!" Namjoon said to Yoongi, whispering to his ears. He glanced at Sejin, gasping in fear when his eyes meet with Sejin sharp glares, instantly tilted his head and buried his face to Yoongi's nape.

"Why Joonie? What makes you scared?" Yoongi asked while Sejin and the rest watching and listening to their small talks.

Namjoon gnawed his lower lips, trembling a little bit. "That - that ahjussi...he no wike Joonie!"

Yoongi was taken aback at the statement, averted his eyes to Sejin and his bandmates. Yoongi realized how Sejin looks really confused right now.

"No Joonie. That ahjussi is a nice man, " gushes Yoongi.

Namjoon shook his head wildly. "No daddy. He - he hates Joonie. Ahjussi hates Joonie!" whined Namjoon as his eyes started to well up with tears again.

Sejin brows almost meet watching the commotion. He gave a confused look to each of BTS members before he moved his legs - approaching Yoongi and Namjoon.

Namjoon feels intimidated at the gestures, squirmed on Yoongi's lap and start to hugs the elder tightly, trying to hide from Sejin. His sobs erupted as he buried his face on Yoongi's shoulder blade, refused to look at Sejin.

Sejin carefully crouching in front of the two, giving Yoongi an intense stare as the rapper feels anxious as to what will the manager said to Namjoon. His hand securely wrapped Namjoon's tiny waist as the little almost climb over him - afraid of Sejin.

"Hey, Namjoon..."

Yoongi tried to loosen up Namjoon's grip over his neck but the little whimpered at the action, crying silently as he keeps saying he was scared.

"No, daddy! Joonie scawed! No!!"

Yoongi sighed and gives a sad eye to Sejin, hoping that Sejin will understand.

"Hey don't be scared. I'm - I'm not a bad person. I just - want to have a talk with you. Is it okay?" Sejin says in a soothing voice.

Namjoon shook his head. "No - no... Joonie scawed... no wanna talk...Joonie wanna go home, daddy pwease!" he said, voice muffled as he keeps his face hidden.

Yoongi pats on the back of Namjoon's head, feeling constricted that the little was crying and refused to talk to Sejin. Everyone seems worried and concerned right now.

"But then I'm unable to help if you didn't want to talk to me..." coaxed Sejin. He then searching for something in his pocket before he smiles when he found what he had been looking for.

"Well look what I have for you..." says Sejin with a cheerful voice.

Namjoon sniffs before he slowly turned his head, peeking over to see the thing. His doe eyes widen when he saw the thing on Sejin's hand.

"It's a lollipop. Do you want it? It's orange flavor and really tasty..." mentioned Sejin as he shoved the lollipop to Namjoon.

Namjoon eyes sparkle when he saw the orange lollipop closed up. "Ow - owange? Joo - joonie wike owange!"

Sejin smiles fondly and beckons over Namjoon to take the lollipop from his hand. Namjoon was hesitant, looking at the candy with his mouth slightly parted - almost drooling as he wanted to taste it.

Namjoon then moved a little bit, looking at his daddy. "Daddy, can - can Joonie eat? It's owange and Joo - joonie hungwy..." he asked Yoongi timidly.

He had been thought by his mother not to take anything from a stranger without permission. As to that, he was asking Yoongi first before he can take the candy from Sejin. If his daddy says no then he can't take it.

Yoongi smiles as he cupped Namjoon's face. "Yes darling, you can have the candy..."

Namjoon giggles happily before he put his hand forwards. "Ahjussi, Joonie wan lollipop pwease!"

Sejin let out a soft chuckle, swooning over Namjoon's cute gestures. Sejin placed the lollipop into Namjoon's hand.

Namjoon was enthusiast to have the lollipop, hastily trying unwrapped it before Yoongi helped him as he almost cries when he was unable to tear it by himself.

Namjoon puts the lollipop into his mouth, eyes sparkle as the zesty taste filled in his mouth. "Daddy its dewishes!" he exclaimed happily.

Namjoon looks at Sejin who had been staring at him. "Tank chu ahjussi...its dewishes..." he said shyly with his tiny cute voice, almost forgot to thanks the said male for the candy.

Sejin smiles before it died down when he saw the swollen cheek. And Sejin frowned when he noticed the marks on it, similar to a fingerprint.

"So Namjoon..."

"Ahjussi can call me Joonie. Ahjussi is a nice man and - and gives Joonie this..." Namjoon said chirpily.

Sejin mouthed a silent 'oh' before he clears his throat, a little bit abashed to call Namjoon with his new nickname. "So Joonie...can you tell me what happen to your face?"

Namjoon holds his breath at the sudden question before he shook his head. "No - no can't talk..."

Everyone frowned at the answer, looking at each other with confusion obviously shown on their face.

"Why?" Sejin asked.

Namjoon shook his head again. His eyes brimmed with tears as his lips quiver. "Scawed...! Joonie scawed."

"But Joonie..."

Namjoon wildly jiggle his head and start to cry harder. "No! No talk pwease! Joonie wanna go home! Daddy! Appa!"

As the little was crying again, everyone was flustered. Sejin sighed before he gets up and asking the boys to get ready and he will wait at the back door of the building. He will drive the van and waits for them.

Sejin was about to leave the restroom before Seokjin grabbed his arm. "Hyung, about Namjoon..."

Sejin pats on Seokjin's hand over his. "I understand. Let settle this first and we can have a talk later..."

Everyone released a deep breath after Sejin left the restroom. They were relieved that Sejin had been so understanding about their harsh situation. They were afraid at first thinking of how the manager will react seeing little Namjoon.

Less they know, Sejin was really good in dealing with the revelation. Much better than themselves actually.

"Baby, you can walk by yourself right?"

Everyone turned their head when Yoongi asked the question to their precious leader. Namjoon slowly becomes calm and stop his crying. Yoongi wipes the remaining tears on his face, carefully not to touch the swollen cheek.

Namjoon sniffs and put back the lollipop into his mouth. Everyone chuckles at the cuteness and at the same time glad that Namjoon wasn't crying anymore.

"Baby...did you hear what daddy asked you?" Seokjin interrupted while pulling Namjoon's hand. Stopping the little to keep sucking the candy. 

Namjoon whined at the loss of the tangy flavor, looking at his caregivers with a pouty lip.

"Appa...Joonie wanna eat..."

Seokjin clicked his tongue and jiggle his head slowly. "I know but you have to listen to daddy first. Remember the rules? Listen to the caregivers and behave?" Said Seokjin softly but with a serious note.

Namjoon sighed and nods his head. "Sowwy appa, sowwy daddy..."

Yoongi smiled and ruffles the hair of the little. "It's okay darling. Daddy just want to know whether you're okay to walk? We are going home..."

Namjoon looks at his daddy with his bambi eyes, nodding his head as the answer. "Yes, Joonie walk..." he confirmed with words before he put the lollipop back into his mouth.

Namjoon then used his unoccupied hand to intertwine his fingers with Yoongi, making the oldest rapper to grimace with happiness; left the restroom together with the other members.

"I don't think he injured himself, hyung!" Jimin whispered as his eyes fixated at Namjoon in front of him. He was happily walking with Yoongi, swaying their entangled hand back and forth with the lollipop in his mouth.

Hoseok hummed as he glanced at Jimin on his side. He can hear the same agreement came from Taehyung as the three walked together in a line. Meanwhile, Jungkook and Seokjin were behind the three - listening to the conversation with anticipation.

"Did you see the print on his cheek? Looks like someone had slapped him..." alleged Taehyung.

The rest nodded as they realized about it too.

"Do you think someone did that to Namjoon? Who? Why?" query Jungkook as his voice rising a little bit - contained with anger and wrath.

Seokjin sighed heavily. "As much as I hate when he injured himself, I hope it is better like that rather than someone did that to him, " he says dejectedly.

Jungkook grits his teeth at the thought that someone might inflict the injury to his beloved leader. "I'm going to kill that person if I know who did that! I swear to God, Jin-hyung!!"

"Count me in, Kookie!" notes Jimin who harbored the same rage with Jungkook.

Taehyung growled listening to the maknaes rant. "It's not enough guys. I want him to suffer first before we killed him..." he added as he fisted his hand on the air.

Hoseok shook his head at the evil plan but won't say anything to it because he basically agreed with the three. Anyone who dares to hurt Namjoon will face the consequences from them.

They just need to find out who was the asshole!

"I hope Namjoon will tell the truth to us though..."

Everyone falls into a deep silence at Seokjin's words. Eyes now looking at Namjoon with stricken heart, realizing that Namjoon might keep it as a secret to them.

"He won't tell us right?" uttered Jimin, voice a little bit shaking as he tries to hold his sad tears.

"Nope, he won't."

Their eyes got teary with Hoseok's affirmation, feeling a pang of pain in their heart looking at their leader to carry the heavy burden by himself. They wished that Namjoon will share with them to ease his suffering but as far as they have known Namjoon - he won't let anyone hurt and willing to bear everything for their sakes.

Their selfless leader, Kim Namjoon.

 

 





 

Chapter Text


 

Namjoon holds his favorite Ryan near to his chest and his other hand played with the hem of his blue Koya's blanket nervously. His sniffles can be heard occasionally in the room, as his dam continue to pour the white pearl – soaking wet his face.

Seokjin had been trying to coax the little for almost half an hour already. Everyone being so tense watching Namjoon keeps crying after they arrived at their dorm. He started to have a mental breakdown when Sejin entered the dorm together with the others and felt intimidated immediately. No words can persuade the little to stop his meltdown.

“Joonie…”

Namjoon sobs further and Seokjin grab the little into a tight hug. Namjoon then hides his wet face on Seokjin's broad shoulder. Seokjin’s eyes quiver around his bandmates with concern evidently shows on his face. He can't stop worrying when Namjoon continues to cry.

Seokjin eyes then halted on the silhouette at the corner of the room. Sejin. Their manager had been watching the commotion since in the beginning. But he remained silent for the whole time, causing some serious tension to all of them.

“Sejin-hyung…” Seokjin trying to say a word towards the manager but Namjoon’s small whimper makes Seokjin dismissed his intention at an instant. He can feel Namjoon been tugging on the back of his shirt as the little continue to sobs.

Sejin let out a soft and low guttural sigh. He moves forward and took a seat at the end of the bed. When the mattress dipped out of his action, Namjoon arms hooked on Seokjin's neck tightly, climbing the elder's lap causing Seokjin almost to fall backward. Lucky that he managed to lean on the headboards quickly.

“Ap-appa…scawed..” he whispered to Seokjin's ears with a shaking voice.

Seokjin hugged the little, caressed his back in a circle softly. “It’s okay baby…nothing to be scared of…”

Namjoon shook his head wildly, tighten his hug and making Seokjin groan at his rough action. His gripped hardened on Namjoon's thigh as the little wiggled on his laps. Seokjin puffed an air for the dead weight of Namjoon's body on his.

“Hey, Namjoon…”

Namjoon whimpers hearing Sejin's voice calling his name out of sudden. He shouldn’t be scared of that male after he happily ate the lollipop given by Sejin before. But after they were in the room, when all attention solely on him again, Namjoon feels suffocated and trapped in the small space.

If he wasn't in the little space, there was nothing wrong with Sejin's presence in their dorm. Namjoon had used to Sejin being in the dorm if he wanted to see him or any of the members. They used to have dinner together with the rest of the members - eating Seokjin's delicious meals. It was a common routine between them and the manager.

But. There's a but to the situation right now. This is the exception to the general rule. Hypothetically.

Little Namjoon didn’t like when Sejin had been gawking at him with his sharp eyes. He hates it when the manager had the unreadable expression on his face. Like he had been judging little Namjoon. Like Sejin detest him for showing his fragile and weak side as the leader of BTS.

“About this little space…” mentioned Sejin as his eyes on Seokjin that been holding Namjoon's body firmly. “For how long?” he further asked.

“We just know about this less than a month. But as far as I’m concerned, he had been a little for a while…” Seokjin answered on behalf of the others. The rest nodded their head as confirmation. 

Sejin instantly frowned. “So he had been coping with the stress like this for a while?” his voice sounded surprised.

Seokjin sighed dejectedly before he nods his head. His hand was playing with Namjoon's hair as the little buried his face on his shoulder blade. He can hear the faint sound of Namjoon's sniffling and sobbing. It was heartbreaking and Seokjin barely holding his tears.

“No one ever knew or notice about this before?” Sejin asked again. Wondering.

Seokjin shook his head. “No…”

Sejin sighed at the answer. He strokes his hair to the back and throws a glance at the rest of BTS members that been scattered around in the room. Their expression didn’t look so good as they were consumed by the guilt. The guilt for being unaware of their leader's struggling all this while.

“We were shocked when we found out about this. We had been living together for years but never for once we ever notice that Namjoon has been dealing with his stress by this method. Not saying that we were handling the little space very well right now, but we were in the learning process and still adapting…”

Sejin turned his head to see Yoongi as he speaks. His face was sullen as he leaned on the wall with arm crossed to his small waist. But his expression shows his seriousness and determination.

“This little space was still foreign to all of us. But we are willing to go through it if it makes Namjoon feels better. We had agreed to be his caregivers and take good care of him when he is in a little space, ” said Yoongi further.

Sejin stares at Yoongi, quite shocked to hear his stern voice and his solemn face when he talks about Namjoon's little space. He had known the rapper for years, mainly for his passive nature. Yoongi is a man of a few words. He barely talks if nothing really concerned him. And for him to talk this much about Namjoon was really impressive.

“Since you already know about this, I expect the company to help us and Namjoon. I know the company had the capability to do this for us, for Namjoon…”

Sejin clears his throat at the unrelenting voice as his eyes on Yoongi's stoic expression. Sejin knows it is not a request but more to demand. A clear and specific demand from the rapper.

“I’ll talk about this with PD-nim. I can’t promise anything but you know how the company always give the best to all of you, ” says Sejin practically.

“Namjoon-hyung deserve this Sejin-hyung. He had done so much for BTS, for BigHit…” intercept Taehyung, voicing out his opinion after being a good listener to the conversation.

“I know and I do understand your concern. I’ll try my best…”

“Merely trying is not enough, Sejin-hyung…”

“Yoongi…”

Yoongi turned his head towards Seokjin and immediately shrugged when he saw the sharp eyes of the elder. Seokjin sighed at his bratty attitude before he mouthed a silent apology to Sejin.

Sejin raised his hand and waved it in front of Seokjin, indicating that he didn’t take Yoongi's word into his heart. He understands what was Yoongi trying to say. The words were comprehensible and the demand was not something unforeseen.

“I think I need to talk to Namjoon…” says Sejin and slowly his eyes darted on Namjoon. “Alone…” he continues.

Namjoon makes a protesting sound as he pressed his face further on Seokjin's nape. Seokjin can feel how he shakes his head wildly and continues to cry. Seokjin pats his back in order to comfort the distressed little.

“It's okay baby. Sejin-hyung is a nice person. He won’t do anything bad to you. He even gave you the candy, remember?” coaxed Seokjin, carefully.

His eyes were on Sejin that seems tense to see Namjoon acting like that. The other members look agitated too. They didn't like to see Namjoon in that state and feeling restless for unable to do anything to soothe him at this moment.

“Joo – joonie scawed appa!” Namjoon whispered to Seokjin's ears with a strained voice. Almost choking in between his sobs.

“Nothing to be scared of. Remember what daddy told you? Big Joonie needs to tell about little Joonie…”

Namjoon shook his head again. His crying becomes more audible and his body shaking like a leaf blows by the wind. Seokjin frowned and he can’t hide his worries seeing Namjoon like this.

Seokjin turned his head towards Yoongi, asking for his help in silence. Yoongi’s shoulder slumps at the pleading face by Seokjin. However, he didn’t have any intention to put the burden on Seokjin’s shoulder alone. He has to play his part as the main caregiver to Namjoon also.

Yoongi walked towards the two and crouched down beside the bed. He laid his hand on Namjoon's back as his heart agonizing the sound of Namjoon's crying.

“Joonie-darling…Listen to daddy okay?” he speaks in a soothing voice.

Namjoon flinched hearing the voice of his daddy but stay still without moving an inch to look at Yoongi. Continue to hide his face.

“You have to tell Sejin-hyung about little Joonie so he can protect you. It is important for him that you explained the whole thing by yourself. Only you have the right to do so….” Explained Yoongi as his hand moves up and down stroking the back of the little.

This time Namjoon didn’t shake his head. He remained silent, saying nothing. Yoongi exchanged a meaningful stare with Seokjin. Both curved into a small smile, feeling a little bit relieved that Namjoon didn’t react negatively over Yoongi's words.

“Can you do that angel? Can big Joonie talk to Sejin alone?” asked Yoongi.

Namjoon sniffles before he tilted his head to see his daddy. Yoongi holds his breath when he saw the red face and puffy eyes belong to Namjoon. It's hurt his heart to see Namjoon so vulnerable like that. But still, he flashed a genuine smile to Namjoon, in order to ease his distress.

“Daddy, appa, papa, dada, oppa, and hyungie will be out there and you can call us if you feel uncomfortable…” continue Yoongi as he pointed on each member.

Namjoon lips quiver as his eyes averted to his caregivers one by one. His heart squeezed to see the beautiful smiles on his caregiver's handsome face. His stormy heart slowly becoming serene and subtle. He believes that his caregivers won't leave him alone and he can depend on them anytime he wanted. He can feel the warmth of their loves seeping through his body.

“Can you do that baby?”

Yoongi's question cut through his trance and Namjoon took a deep and long breath before he nods his head. Namjoon flashed a weak smile when he saw the gummy smile of his daddy that resonated the proudness of his bravery.

“Good boy…” says Yoongi gleefully and he ruffled the hair of the little – making Namjoon let out a soft giggle. Everyone coos at the view.

Yoongi smiles in relieved. "Later, all of us will cuddle and sleep together, okay?" He said tenderly.

Namjoon nods his head in joy. "Emm, Wyan too?" He asked innocently with his big and round eyes.

Yoongi laughed at the mentioned of Namjoon's favorite plush toy. "Yes, Ryan too..."

"Pinky promise?" asked Namjoon as he shoved his pinky fingers. Namjoon giggles when Yoongi linked his tiny finger into Namjoon.

"Pinky promise..." Yoongi said sheepishly, showing his healthy gummy.

 


 


Namjoon feels nervous. No. It will be an understatement. He feels anxious. He feels trapped. He was on his bed, both legs straightened and buried under the duvet. His fingers played with the hem of it, eyes fixated on his laps - head dangled down.

“Namjoon…”

Namjoon flinched at the call of his name but still too afraid to look at the owner of the voice. His hand gripped on the duvet tightly as his breath starts to hitch. He wished his caregivers were here with him in the room. But none of them were present. He wasn’t in a little space but still, it makes him edgier on each second passed.

Namjoon's heart squeezed at the thought that he needs to deal with Sejin alone. While the manager sat on the end of the bed, nearby his feet – been gawking at him for the past fifteen minutes.

“You can take your time to tell me… I won’t force you or pressure you. You know that right?”

Namjoon takes a deep breath before timidly nods his head. He lifted his head and glanced at Sejin for a second before he darted back his eyes to his hands again. The struggle to slip and hide in his closet become prominent.

“Seokjin and Yoongi had briefed me about this whole situation…” Mentioned Sejin in a calm voice after Namjoon remained silence.

Namjoon bits his lips.

“It still confused me but I kind of understand…” Sejin continues, eyes still on Namjoon. He didn’t want Namjoon to think that he was lying in order to comfort him. Sejin just being honest.

Namjoon hummed weakly. “So – sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble but – but it just happens…” his voice shaking a little bit.

Sejin let out a soft breath. “Namjoon, I’ve been the manager for years. I’ve been watching all of you growing up throughout the years, during the up and down. I know how much pressure have all of you endured to be here today. Especially you…”

“Hyung…”

“You had the double and triple works, more than the other members. You had carried the burden on your shoulder as the leader. You were doing great Namjoon and you always be. It is understandable for you to feel stress with all the responsibilities…” Sejin says.

Namjoon darts his eyes on Sejin, feeling overwhelmed at the speech. “It's my duty as the leader hyung. I need to lead BTS and make sure that the trust given by PD-nim to me was not in vain.”

“Namjoon-ah you’ve been working so hard all this while… you are the reason where BTS stand today…”

Namjoon weakly shook his head. Lots of people were saying the same thing to him. That he is the pillar of BTS, the leader who lead BTS into the flowery path. He couldn’t agree with the statement. All the success and fame enjoyed by BTS today were the hard work of everyone.

No one is being the sole reason for their success. Everyone has been working so hard, giving all their heart and energy. He can’t say he is the one who had paved the way for BTS. No. It's the hard work of the members, the staff, and the company. They won't be standing tall in the eyes of the world without any of them. It is impossible.

“It's always been the biggest concern for me and Bang PD on how all of you handling the stress. We were afraid it will tear you down one day. We can see how much you had been holding yourself…”

“If – if you think it will affect the company, I – I will try not to regress and – and…”

Namjoon let out a small gasp when Sejin put his hand on his and pats on it fondly. “You know how much the company will do for you and the boys, right? We are going to protect all of you in whatever circumstances…” mentioned Sejin.

Namjoon bites his lips before he nods his head. He knew the fact very well. BigHit had been giving so much for BTS so that they can be where they were now. Nothing less and sometimes it is too much just for the sake of their comforts. Namjoon couldn’t feel more blessed and thankful for all the advantages and favors are given by the company.

“This time, we will protect you too Namjoon. The same thing we did as before…” said Sejin with a firm voice. He curved into a smile as his eyes fixated on Namjoon's shy face.

“Th-thank you hyung…”

Sejin let out a soft laugh and he squeezed Namjoon's hand lightly. “You deserved this, Namjoon…”

 

 


 

“Oh, I didn’t know that Namjoon can be that cute!”

Sejin squinted his eyes at Bang PD as he said that words when Sejin explains to him what had happened to the leader of BTS yesterday.

“It was hard for him at first. The rest also didn’t know about it. It’s happened at the fan meeting…”

“Ah, that’s why he said he didn’t feel well that day… I see…”

Sejin nods. “Do you have any problem with that? You know for him to regress like a child…”

Bang PD looks at Sejin momentarily before he shook his head. “If that’s his way to cope with the stress than I don’t have any problem to that. Not that he misuse any drugs or inflicting any self-harm. It is better that way rather than he hurt himself…”

“Yes, I agree with that…”

“We know it is hard for a young boy like him to be the leader of BTS. It is stressful for him to be the front man and absorb all the negatives things for his bandmates. I’m glad that he found a healthy way to deal with the stress though…”

“I had mentioned this to Namjoon and the members. I wanted to discuss this with you first before they come and meets you about this…”

Bang PD nods in agreement. "We shall take a cautious step as well as providing a safe environment for the boys. I want him to feel at ease to show his weak side."

"I think a few staffs need to be briefed about this but make it with a limited circle so that the news didn't leak out and cause the harm to Namjoon and the boys too..." suggest Sejin.

Bang PD nods again. "Well, we will fix a meeting with the staffs later..."

Sejin smiles and feels relieved that Bang PD took the news in a calm manner.

“It makes me so eager to see Namjoon in his little space…”

Sejin frowned at the statement and had his eyes on Bang PD smiling face. “Why?” he asked in confusion.

“Nothing, I just thought that he must be really cute that you instantly fall under his charm Sejin-ssi…”

Sejin chuckles awkwardly but he didn’t deny the allegation at all. He was swooning over little Namjoon and he agreed that Namjoon is really adorable. It is easy for anyone to love little Namjoon instantly. Especially when he was acting so cute.

“Should I call him Joonie too?” asked Bang PD with a grimace. A little bit excited.

Sejin scowls at the saying. “You sounded like an old pervert man, PD-nim!

“Yah Sejin!!”

 





 

 

Chapter Text

 


 

After all the confrontation and distressing situation that night, Namjoon found his comfort been squished in between of his daddy and appa on the floor together with his other four caregivers – sleeping and cuddling together as a reward for his bravery telling Sejin about his little space. Everyone was so proud of him.

Nothing can make him happier as his heart makes a flip when everyone giving him a good night kiss and saying the three magical words to him as he slowly drifted into the dreamland – hugging his precious Ryan to his chest and having the pacifier tuck down between his lips.

He rested his head on Seokjin's firm chest meanwhile his daddy Yoongi spooning him from behind. Namjoon didn’t have any nightmare that night, sleeping comfortably until the sun shone brightly on the next day.

But he didn’t stir at all when someone dragged open the curtain and let the bright light to enter the room. Namjoon was in deep sleep and didn't get bothered at all. Not even when his handsome and gorgeous caregivers waking up one by one; making some audible noises. Everyone was swooning over Namjoon as he sprawled over the comforter clutching his Ryan on one of his hand and how his pacifier almost fell from his lips.

Jimin rubbed his sleepy eyes as he approached the little slowly. Seokjin had gone to the kitchen to make breakfast for all of them. Yoongi is taking bath meanwhile Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook were folding the remaining comforters and blankets - already showered.

Jimin kneeled beside the little, letting out a small giggle when he saw Namjoon's cute tummy peeking out from his pink hoodie - slightly lifted due to his violent moves while he was sleeping. Jimin can hear the soft snores emitted by the cute little.

“Joonie-baby…wakes up!” said Jimin as he shakes Namjoon's shoulder.

Namjoon groaned at the disturbance but still didn’t want to open his eyes. His pacifier fell onto the floor and he immediately whined at the lost. He ignored Jimin due to the languor and took his thumb to replace the pacifier to his mouth. Jimin curved into a fond smile before he shakes Namjoon once again.

“Baby wakes up. It’s nine o' clock already. You need to bath and eat…” he coaxed the little.

Namjoon whined as he curled himself like a ball, hugging his Ryan firmly to his body. He squeezed shut his eyes, continue to suck his thumb and shook his head – refused to wake up. He still can feel the fatigues all over his body and he just wanted to sleep as long as he can.

“No… Joo-Joonie sweepy…” says Namjoon with a slurred speech. An obvious hint that he is in his headspace.

Jimin smiles further. “Come on baby… you really need to get up. You didn’t eat anything last night…” A low sigh escaped from Jimin's lip as he mentioned about that.

After Sejin left the dorm, Namjoon was too tired and almost fallen asleep while he sits on the bed. Yoongi and Seokjin had persuaded him to eat before he went to sleep but Namjoon refused to do so, barely open his eyes. They didn’t want to force the little further, worried that he will have another breakdown.

Namjoon huffed in annoyance and laid his back to the soft comforter again. He squinted his eyes as the bright light attack his orbs. He slowly rubs his eyes with the sweater paw, making Jimin to coo at his adorableness.

“Appa makes a delicious pancake for you. Don’t you love pancake?” asked Jimin when he saw Namjoon's blur expression, blinking his eyes on the ceiling. He was still half awake. But he knows Namjoon can't ever resist a delicious pancake.

Namjoon didn’t say anything before his stomach makes a grumbling sound. He then slowly nods, admitting the fact that he is hungry right now. The image of three layers of pancakes with the shining maple syrup dripping on it, topped with a red strawberry on top makes Namjoon drooling at an instant.

“De-dewishes... M'Hungwy…” he mumbles and pats on his flat tummy. Eyes still on the ceiling though as if there was pancake hanging on it. He licks his own lips, feeling the sweet taste of the imaginary maple syrup.

Jimin laughed at the words and he rubs gently on Namjoon's bare stomach with his cute tiny hand. “Poor baby…”

Namjoon giggles at Jimin's touch on his belly, feeling ticklish but comfortable at the same time when his dada's small hand feel so warm on his bare skin. 

“Do you like it when I did this?” asked Jimin when he saw Namjoon's grimace.

Namjoon nods in enthusiast, tilted his head to the side to meet with Jimin's gaze. He shows his nice and beautiful teeth towards his dada and let him continue to rub his belly. It is a really nice feeling.

“But you need to get up and take a bath right now baby…” Jimin noted once again.

Namjoon immediately pouted. He grabbed Jimin's hand that still laid on his stomach and moved the hand so that Jimin continue to give him the stress reliever massage.

“More dada, pwease!” he pleads as his doe eyes stare at Jimin expectingly.

Jimin let out a peal of soft laughter. “I’ll do it later after you take the bath and eat. Okay darling?” he coaxed the little, making a promise towards the little.

“Pwomise?” Namjoon asked with a hopeful tone.

Jimin laughed heartily before he quickly nods. “Promise!” Jimin then bends his upper body and blow a raspberry on Namjoon's stomach to tease the little.

Namjoon squirmed as it is ticklish and giggles at his dada antic. Then he let Jimin pulled him up from the comforter and he strides lazily towards the bathroom with his mochi dada.

Namjoon bounced his feet when he saw the tub has been filled with water. There were two cute and tiny rubber ducks swimming in the water - calling for him to play with. Taehyung grinned when he saw Namjoon's excited expression.

“Do you want a rainbow bathbomb baby?” he asked sheepishly.

Namjoon continues to bounce and jiggle his head eagerly. Jimin chuckles at his antics before he left the two in the bathroom. It’s been decided among them that Jimin's task was to wake the little and Taehyung was responsible to make sure Namjoon take his bath.

Taehyung took Namjoon's hand and help the little to take out his hoodie, leaving him with his only black boxer. Namjoon shivers at the sudden change of temperature in the bathroom but at the same time feeling impatient to take a shower.

Taehyung throws the bathbomb into the tub and slowly it turns into a beautiful bubble, spreading its bright color throughout the water in the tub. Namjoon eyes widen to see how it’s slowly dispersed in the water, creating a beautiful rainbow like magic.

“Wook oppa! Wainbow!!” Namjoon exclaimed joyfully.

“It’s pretty right?”

Namjoon instantly nods. “Emm pwetty... Blue, wed, ow-owange, gwin, puwple, yellow and – and ind – ind… “

Taehyung chuckles at Namjoon's difficulties to find the correct words. “It’s indigo baby…”

Namjoon pouted. “Ind – indigo?” he huffed in frustration that it is a hard word to pronounce.

Taehyung stares at Namjoon with adoration, heartbeat escalated to see Namjoon's cuteness. It’s a serene feeling to see him acting that way as if he had fully forgotten what had happened yesterday. Like his memory had been reset.

The sight of Namjoon crying and trembling with fear was harrowing. His heart clenched at the view and he feels disappointed that he can’t give any comfort towards the little as his caregiver. He hates to see those tears on Namjoon's perfect face. It doesn’t belong there and it didn’t suit with Namjoon at all. Namjoon deserved all the happiness in this world. His baby deserved everything after all the hardship he went through for years.

Taehyung didn’t want to see Namjoon in that state anymore. It’s really hurt his feeling and the other members too. Their precious leader has been so vulnerable but they were so helpless - it's horrendous. They wanted the leader to able to lean on their shoulder when he feels down. They wanted Namjoon to be able to depend on them during his vulnerability.

“Oppa! Can – can Joonie go in now??”

Namjoon's cheerful voice cut through Taehyung's reverie and he instantly tilted his head to see the little who had been jouncing his long feet – too excited to get into the tub.

Taehyung chapped his lips and put his pointy finger to it and started to think about Namjoon's request. Well, he was just faking it to see the little's reaction. He averted his eyes to Namjoon who started to show his sullen face and pouty lips.

“Oppa…pwease!!!” Namjoon whined impatiently.

Taehyung let out a soft chortle at his behavior before nods his head. Namjoon squeaked before he jumps into the bathtub full of water. Taehyung eyes widen at the sudden action, didn’t have enough time to dodge the splashed water – saline soaked his t-shirt and sweatpants.

Taehyung groaned. “Baby!! I just take my bath and now look at what did you do to me?? Jinnie will be mad at me now. He always complained about my dirty clothes all over the room!"

Namjoon made a soft ‘opps’ sound, putting his hand over his mouth and giggles in amusement to see Taehyung's wet clothes. He didn’t fully grasp what’s been ranted by Taehyung just now but the vocalist looks funny to him. He was soaking wet.

Taehyung had both his hand on his hips, squinted the eyes towards the little who seems enjoying himself seeing him like that. Taehyung took a deep breath before he too jumps into the tub, still fully clothes. His random act had makes the little to yelp out of shock.

“Nooo!!!!!”

Taehyung stuck out his tongue playfully and let out a boisterous laugh when Namjoon smacked on the water angrily.

“Now let’s take bath together baby…” says Taehyung while he smirks at the little.

Namjoon gnawed his lips at the suggestion before he screams in horror when Taehyung marched forward and start to tickle him. He continues to scream when Taehyung put his hand on his waist and hoisted him from the tub - twirling their bodies before Namjoon sat on his lap and Taehyung hugging him from behind. 

Everyone was shocked to hear the loud scream. Jungkook and Jimin sprint their leg to the bathroom, worried that something happens to Namjoon. But they let out a frustrated scowl when they saw Taehyung and Namjoon were playing together in the tub – looking so happy.

Jungkook pouted. “Ugh! If I know it’s going to be like this, I will volunteer myself to bath with Joonie!!” he stomped his feet childishly and leave the two with jealousy lingers in his heart.

Jimin gives him a sharp stare and watched him scurried away to the living room mumbling his dissatisfaction to himself – obviously sulking. Jimin chided at Taehyung, giving him a murderous stare as a silent warning to the tall vocalist; not to do something weird to little Namjoon.

Taehyung stuck out his tongue at the dancer and continue to pour the shampoo on Namjoon's hair. Meanwhile, Namjoon unaware of the tense situation between the maknaes, giggling happily playing with the rubber ducks.


 

All the members were having their free time together in the living room watching The Boss Baby after breakfast.

Namjoon was lying on the couch, drinking the banana milk from his bottle, head resting on Jimin's lap meanwhile his long leg on Taehyung's lap. The rest of his members were sitting on the floor comfortably.

A few giggles can be heard from Namjoon, enjoying himself watching the cartoon. He was so immersed with the character and once in a while mumbling something incoherent about the characters. The members were cooing over his cute gibberish talk.

Jimin’s delicate fingers were playing with Namjoon's soft and silky hair, eyes fixated on the television before a long gasped emitted by Namjoon.

“No no no no! Dada wook!” exclaimed Namjoon as he pointed directly towards the television.

Jimin frowned in confusion. Namjoon hastily gets up from the couch, kicking Taehyung's chin with his long leg unintentionally. Taehyung hissed in pain but the little pay no heed over him.

“What's wrong baby?” Jimin asked. Everyone eyes now have their attention over the little too. Confused at his sudden action.

Namjoon jutted his lower lips and started to wobble as he was on the verge of crying. “No! Lam-Lam! The baby – the baby is meanie!”

Everyone mouth agape when Namjoon starts to wail watching one of the scenes in The Boss Baby where the baby accidentally ripped Lam-lam, the plush toy belongs to Tim.  It was an emotional scene for little Namjoon and everyone was flustered to see him indulging himself with the movie too much.

Seokjin immediately turns off the television as everyone swamps over the crying little.

“Hey don’t be sad. It’s just an accident. He didn’t have any intention to do that…” coaxed Jungkook while he rubs Namjoon's hand gently.

Jimin wrapped his arm over Namjoon's shoulder, trying to soothe the little but Namjoon just keeps crying and continuously calling for Lam-lam. Everyone was exasperated looking at Namjoon, feeling at lost on how to coax the little.

“What’re we going to do?” Jungkook asked with a worried tone, looking at his hyungs one by one.

Jimin and Taehyung shook their heads meanwhile Hoseok pacing forth and back in front of them – didn’t know how to handle the crying Namjoon. It wasn’t his forte and it is quite challenging for him to calm Namjoon in that state. Hoseok was petrified actually.

He can have a simple to serious talk with Namjoon in whatever issues when Namjoon is out of his little space. It is much more comforting to have a two ways communication. Little Namjoon may be cute and adorable that he wanted to keep him safe into his pocket but when Namjoon having his breakdown, crying non-stop; Hoseok immediately stunned and his mind goes blank.

“Baby, stop crying please…” is the only thing Hoseok can say to the little right now.

Namjoon voice started to hoarse after wailing too much but there was no sign that he will stop crying at any moment though. The image of Lam-lam been ripped off was horrifying. And Namjoon immediately thought about his Ryan.

“Wyan…Joo-Joonie wants Wyan…Appa! Daddy! Wyan!” Namjoon sobs.

Jungkook almost falls on the floor when he stumbles on the couch as he hurriedly gets up and runs towards Namjoon's room to get the plush toy.

Yoongi took Jungkook's spot just now, crouching in front of Namjoon that still crying. “Don’t cry Joonie. It’s just a movie. And Lam-lam was fine. They fixed him right away…” Yoongi tries his best to coax the little.

Namjoon let out a few hiccups, staring at his daddy with his puffy eyes. “No boo-boo?” he asked weakly.

Yoongi flashed his gummy smile, caressed the hair on Namjoon's forehead softly. “No boo-boo anymore…”

Everyone turned their head when they heard the loud steps running towards them. Jungkook was panting as he shoved Ryan to Namjoon. Namjoon immediately takes it from Jungkook's hand and hogged his Ryan dearly.

“Wyan no boo-boo otay? Joonie wove Wyan!” he said to his plushy cutely and kissed the toy on the face.

Everyone cooed at that and a little bit relieved that he slowly become calmer than before. There were still a few hiccups but the crying was obviously stopped already.

“Do you still want your banana milk, baby?”

Namjoon tilted his head towards Seokjin, looking at his bottle on his appa's hand. Namjoon scrunched his nose and nodded his head once. Seokjin smiles and hands over the bottle to Namjoon, which he happily grab and continue to drink it.

“That was quite an alarm!” mentioned Taehyung exasperated as he leaned on the couch - feeling slouched.

Everyone nods their head, agreed with Taehyung. They were afraid that Namjoon will have another breakdown like yesterday but relieved that his crying wasn't taking too long to subside this time.

“By the way guys…”

Hoseok's voice interrupted their peaceful moment and everyone had their attention over the aesthetic dancer and the fierce rapper.

“Sejin-hyung just texted me. We have a meeting with Bang PD at three…” told Hoseok while he held his phone firmly. "Sejin-hyung will be here in half an hour..." He continues.

Everyone gulped at the news before slowly looking at Namjoon – a little bit concerned about him to meet with Bang PD. They were more anxious that Namjoon was still in his headspace and they were unsure if it is okay for little Namjoon to appear in front of the important man behind their successful career.

“Hyungie….” Namjoon whined slowly as his eyes started to become droopy.

Jungkook was taken aback before he approached the little. “Are you sleepy baby?” he asked.

Namjoon nods his head.

Jungkook bites his lips. “What now hyung? I don’t think he will be out from his little space any soon…” he said as his eyes on Hoseok.

Hoseok stroked his hair to the back, feeling emotionally constipated. He averted his eyes towards Seokjin and Yoongi who had the same expression as him.

“I guess we just have to bring little Namjoon today. Afterall the meeting was about him being little, right?” suggest Hoseok. However, there was hesitation lies in his voice.

Seokjin took a deep breather, exchanging gaze with Yoongi before both of them nods their head in unison.

“But he’s sleeping now…” intercept Jimin as he was a little bit surprised when Namjoon rested his head on his shoulder – eyes shut tightly.

“He will become cranky when he is awake. We can’t afford for him to cry at the company…” Jimin voice out his worries.

Yoongi sighed. “We need to make sure that he won’t do that. We need to prepare all his needs…”

Which it has become harder for all of them afterward. Namjoon basically whined each time Seokjin moved his arm and leg – changing his clothes into a onesie. Seokjin put the pacifier to his mouth to make sure he didn't cry. Namjoon continues to sleep, nuzzled his face further on Jimin's chest while Seokjin helped him to wear the onesie.

Taehyung and Hoseok were preparing Namjoon needs into a bag – his second bottle in case needed, extra clothes as well as his coloring book to divert his attention during the meeting.

Jungkook used his strength to pick Namjoon up and the little quickly hugged him like a koala and buried his face on his shoulder blade – continue to sleep. Seokjin put on the face mask over his face to hide the pacifier before all of them went down where Sejin was waiting in the van.

Everyone just hopes the meeting with Bang PD will run smoothly and Namjoon didn’t have any distress feeling like he did with Sejin. This is the first time, the journey to BigHit feels so strenuous and everyone was on the edge thinking about what’s going to happen. And Namjoon sleeps peacefully in between Seokjin and Yoongi, sucking his pacifier - not knowing what is waiting for him.

 





 

Chapter Text

 


 

He can’t move.


He tried to shake his arm and legs. It’s been tied up with something.

But why?

He tried to open his eyes slowly. And he saw nothing but darkness. Strange. This is not his room.

Where was he? Why he is here? Why he was sitting alone in a dark room tied up on to the chair?

His heart thumping louder and he can feel the blood rushing out his vein out of fear. He can’t find any light and he feels suffocated.

Jin-hyung?

Yoongi-hyung?

Hobi? Jiminie? Taetae? Kookie?

No one is answering his call. Namjoon breathe hitched at the thought that everyone had left him alone. He was scared. Tears started to puddle in his eyes and he squirmed violently to release himself from the tight grip.

It hurts. His whole body was aching and the dull pain was killing him. He needs to get out from here. He needs to find his bandmates. What if they were like him too? Tied up to something somewhere. He needs to go and help them. The thought makes him feel uptight.

But why he can’t escape from here?

His heart thumped erratically when he heard a click sound. He tries to find the source when a light came through, brightening the darkness a little bit. A door. And someone was walking through it. A male.

Every single step taken by the stranger was harrowing. It sounded like the shoes purposely hit the floor to make such clad sound. He squinted his eyes to see the male but his eyes were blurry. Later that he realized he hasn’t worn his lens and his glasses was nowhere to be found.

“Wh-who are you?” he asked with a trembling voice. He can see the silhouette became closer and closer.

A sniggering laugh erupted making Namjoon to has goosebumps. He flinched when the latter male standing in front him – too close for his liking. It feels suffocating. He didn’t realize that he was shaking too much until the male pointed it out to him.

The male chided in annoyance. “What a pathetic loser!”

Namjoon almost choked when he heard the deep voice. It’s sounded so familiar. He knew the owner of the voice.

It can’t be! That’s voice! It’s… it’s…

“What a nice view, Namjoon-ssi…” the said male speaks with his venomous voice, emitting smothering laughter to ridicule the helpless Namjoon.

Namjoon lifts his head to see the face and his heart immediately dropped when he saw the male. Despite his far sight eyes, he still can see the face clearly because of their close distance. His eyes widen in shock.

“Suk-Sukhoon?”

Sukhoon lips twitched into a smile and slowly let out an evil laugh. The dark and spacious room has now been echoed with his laughter. It was too loud that Namjoon feels his ears buzzing and it hurts.

“Wh-why are you doing this?” he asked with a shaken voice. The same question he used to ask the male before. But there was no answer. And it still left unanswered this time.

Namjoon let out a painful yelp when Sukhoon grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his head to the back. Namjoon feels his throat became dry when he tried to swallow and the angle making his neck to be in an awkward position - aching and sore on each second.

“I want you to die, Namjoon!” said Sukhoon, gritting his teeth in anger. His voice lies with hatred and his face was darken to show the deep of his anger. A determination to seek revenge.

But what revenge? Why? What did he do wrong that Sukhoon want him to die?

Namjoon lips parted to say something, to ask further but before he could do that, his eyes enlarged when he saw the sharp knife in Sukhoon's hand.

"Wh-why? Tell me...why are you doing this?" Namjoon asked courageously. He grimace in pain when Sukhoon pulled his hair to the back once again.

Sukhoon snickers at the audacity but he didn't have any intention to ignore the question anymore. Maybe this time Namjoon deserved to know the reason - before he dies.

"As I said, you have to pay for your sin... Someone who acted so high like you, who thought that you are better than the other, who will do anything to be successful and powerful...."

Namjoon furrowed at the accusation as he couldn't fathom each of it. It feels strange to hear that from Sukhoon. He never acted like that ever. He was trying to be as humble as he can and being respectful towards the other.

"Wh-what...arghh!" Namjoon screamed when the knife touched his cheek, slicing the skin and the blood flow slowly.

"Don't act like you didn't do something like that Namjoon!" Sukhoon spits on Namjoon face, smirking when he saw the pain expression of the said male. He feels satisfied to see how torturous Namjoon was.

"But-but I don't understand... I never..."

Sukhoon grits his teeth. "You talk too much, Kim Namjoon!"

Namjoon was horrified when he saw how Sukhoon hoisted up the knife on the air. Namjoon screamed out of his lung when the knife buried into his chest a second later. Right to his heart.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

Hurt. Hurt. Hurt.

Dark. Only dark.





 

“Joonie? Joonie-baby? Namjoon!!

Namjoon jolted up at the brisk voice, eyes wide open as he tries to catch up his labored breath. He was sweating and had a coughing fit. He looks around and realized that he was still in the van and his eyes caught on the concerned faces of his bandmates.

Namjoon can hear how loud and fast his heartbeat was. He was wheezing like he had an asthma attack. There are few sweats dripping on his soaking face. He scrunched his nose when he feels his shirt sticking all over his skin.

Subconsciously both of his hand clutched on his shirt – near to his chest. The stabbed pain feels surreal. Namjoon holds his breath in fear and his whole body shakes like a leaf.

Namjoon flinched when someone had cupped his face, forcing him to look at the person. The hand feels warm over his cold face. He whimpered at the action and tightly shut his eyes out of fear.

“Hey, Joonie… what’s wrong baby?”

The soothing and velvety voice was so comforting and makes him feel so safe. He opened up his eyes and a beautiful handsome young man was looking at him intensely.

“Ap-appa…” he forced himself to utter those word and his throat feels scratchy. He speaks with a hoarse voice.

Seokjin let out a deep sighed of relieved after he managed to get Namjoon's attention. He was shocked to see how Namjoon was moving uncomfortably and groaning in his sleep. Seokjin immediately knows that the leader was having a nightmare.

Seokjin and Yoongi were trying to wake him up but to no avail. When he started to trash around, everyone was panicking. It took them almost ten minutes before they manage to awake the male.

“Baby…” Seokjin strokes his damp hair out of his forehead, caressing his protruding cheek lovingly. “You were having a nightmare…” he said with a soft and tender voice, trying not to scare the little further.

Namjoon mewled and started to sobs. “Appa…Joonie scawed…”

Seokjin startled a little bit at the outburst, pulling the said male into a tight hug – wrapping his long arm on Namjoon's waist with one arm and another cupping the back of his head. Namjoon buried his face on Seokjin's shoulder blade and continue to cry.

It's just a dream. A dream. Dream. Right?

Seokjin exchanged his gaze with the others and they had the same expression with him. Worried and concerned.

“It's okay darling. Appa's here. Everyone is here. You’re safe. We’ll protect you!” coaxed Seokjin, hand moving up and down on Namjoon's back.

“No weave Joonie awone…Joonie scawed!” Namjoon voice muffled through Seokjin's shirt but it’s still understandable. Both his hand were tugging on Seokjin's shirt.

Seokjin can feel the tight grip and how Namjoon's body trembling in his arm. “No baby! You won’t be alone. Appa promise!”

Namjoon’s crying slowly died down with few sniffles here and there. But still, he didn’t want to release himself from being hugged by his beloved appa. He feels safe and warm and he wanted to be like that for a while. He still can't forget the bad dream and it's horrendous.

Seokjin wanted to ask the little about his dream but they didn’t have any time to chat at the moment. They had arrived at the BigHit building for almost fifteen minutes. They need to get out of the van and heading to the meeting room. Bang PD had been waiting for them.

“Will he be fine to attend the meeting?” asked Sejin after he had slid open the door. Eyes fixated at Namjoon that almost fallen asleep in Seokjin's embrace.

Everyone breathe out with exasperation. It’s going to be a long tiring day since Namjoon is in his little space and now having a mental breakdown due to his nightmare. At this rate, everyone in the company will get to know about his situation. And it won’t be good since it's intended to be in a limited circle only.

Seokjin had to persuade Namjoon to get out of the car for ten minutes before Namjoon needs to detach himself from Seokjin. Namjoon wanted to stay in the car, hugging the headrest as his life depends on that. Seokjin needs to eye-glare at him and threatened him for punishment before Namjoon finally gave in.

"Don't be a brat, Joonie!" Seokjin's voice turn to sharp-blade.

He hates when someone said he is a brat. Hearing that from his appa doesn't sound good at all. And he didn't want his other caregivers to think that he is really a brat too.

As an act of sulking, Namjoon refused when Seokjin was trying to hold his hand. Instead, he took Jungkook's hand with a sullen face.

“Wan hyungie…” he said with a pouty lip.

Seokjin let out a soft chuckle at his antics before he put the pacifier on his mouth and covered it up with the black face mask. Namjoon whined when Yoongi said he needs to leave his Ryan in the car. When the little almost crying, Yoongi sigh dejectedly and grabbed the plush toy on behalf of Namjoon.

Namjoon start to sweat when he saw a few people in the meeting room. His gripped on Jungkook's hand immediately tightened. Jungkook had noticed the tense and instantly wrapped his arm over Namjoon's shoulder. He leaned closer and whispering to the ears.

“Don’t worry baby. We are here for you…” he says.

Namjoon was nervous but nonetheless, he nods as he was confident at his caregivers. As he turned his head to look at all his members, his heart feels at ease when he saw their smiling faces. He knew at the moment that he can trust them.

Namjoon anxiously sits on the couch, being accompanied with Yoongi and Seokjin on each of his sides. Totally forgot that he just got mad at his appa before. Meanwhile, Taehyung, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook sits on the chair in front of the three.

Bang PD and Sejin were sitting in front of them with the other three staffs. Son Sungdeuk, the performance director that mainly responsible for BTS’s beautiful choreography, and then Jiwon with Eunhye (fictional character) the BTS stylists. The three were the closest one with BTS because they had been together with BTS since the beginning of their debut days. They are the most trusted people in BigHit.

It was an awkward situation for a few minutes. No one was talking and they kept on exchanging glanced with each other. Some of the times their eyes were fixated on Namjoon, still sucking his pacifier while he hides his face on Yoongi's shoulder. The elder rapper was patting his thigh in order to comfort the little. Seokjin was playing with Namjoon's hand, caressing the back of it softly.

Sejin had briefed the situation to everyone before they had the meeting. It’s still a surprise for them to see Namjoon in a little space. But they try to understand and be supportive of the BTS leader. Everyone knows the struggle being the leader for BTS all this while.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t have any problem about this at all, ” said Sungdeuk while his hand pointed at Namjoon.

He had been watching Namjoon since he was a trainee and he knows how much Namjoon had grown as a person. The little space was still foreign for him but if it is the way how the leader sought for stress reliever, Sungdeuk didn't care at all.

“It’s okay for us too…” Jiwon speaks for herself and Eunhye. Eunhye nods her head as affirmation. Both of them were looking at Namjoon with sparkling eyes, fascinated to see the charismatic leader and the fierce rapper acted like a child. It’s so cute and they barely hold themselves from squishing the leader.

Bang PD smiles at the support shown by the three. “Well, I hope that we were able to create a safe environment for Namjoon and the others too. For meanwhile, only us know about Namjoon. So please keep it as a secret.” He notes while he emphasized the last sentence.

Sungdeuk, Jiwon, and Eunhye give a silent okay as they nod at the instruction.

“We need to make sure this is a secret until it is necessary for us to have a bigger crowd. We need to be used to the situation and how to give proper care whenever he is in a little space…” Sejin turns to explain.

“What about Sukhoon? He’s your assistant, Sejin-ssi…” asked Sungdeuk. He was confused at first when he didn’t see Sukhoon in the room. Shouldn't he be here too?

Sejin shook his head. “He's still new and it's too risky to let him know about this. We can’t trust anyone easily…”

Sungdeuk nods his head and everyone seems to agree with Sejin. And the meeting ended after one hour with everyone being briefed about their task and responsibilities over Namjoon's little space.


 

 

The BTS members remained in the room with Bang PD and Sejin, after the other three left the room.

“So, I’d heard that he had been calling all of you with names…” said Bang PD with a sheepish grin. To be honest it's kinda creepy to see him like that.

Seokjin clears his throat at the abrupt comment. “Yeah…”

Bang PD chuckles at the reaction. “Cute!”

Sejin rolled his eyes at the remark, knowing that there must be something funny in the head of that old man.

“Don’t you think that I need a name too?” Bang PD proposed.

Everyone mouth agape at his statement, looking at the male incredulously. Sejin squinted his eyes towards the latter.

“You really are a pervert old man, PD-nim!” Sejin said with an accusatory tone.

Bang PD glared at the manager. “Why I can’t get a name when he basically called you ahjussi? You were bragging about it all day to me and it’s annoying!” he refutes.

Sejin’s face turns to a dark shade of red, avoiding any eye contact with BTS who had been gawking at him with an amused face.

“Well, I – I’m just, you know…because he was so cute when he called me ahjussi and I feel honored. Not that I forced him to call me that!” stutters Sejin.

Bang PD berates at the reasoning, feeling amused at Sejin's flustered attitude. It’s rare for the manager to be like that and Bang PD has a good time teasing the male.

“I should have a name too then. Don’t be too cheap, Sejin. Or are you jealous that he might be giving me a better name than yours?” Bang PD asked with a playful tone.

Sejin rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “That was absurd!”

“He might be calling me ‘abeoji’ you know…” notes Bang PD with a smug face. Everyone said that he is the father of BTS. Sometimes people said he treats Namjoon like his own son. He won’t deny that since he has known Namjoon for years and he was quite fond at the young boy. A very talented one.

Sejin mockingly laughed at the motion, feeling that Bang PD was acting so weird and ridiculous. “Abeoji?” he scoffs. “It’s harabeoji that suits you well!”

“Yah you brat!!” Bang PD shouted at Sejin and throw a pen towards the younger. But Sejin managed to dodge the bullet and playfully stuck out his tongue.

“Emm guys??”

The bickering between the two ended at the interruption and both turned their head to see that everyone was ogling at them. Their face evidently shows how they were trying to hold their laughter, watching the twos arguing like a high school student.

“You two looks like an old couple married for twenty years and still arguing about who should do the dishes after dinner…” said Seokjin nonchalantly.

Sejin and Bang PD simultaneously let out a protesting groaned, giving each other a disgusting look before they heard a peal of laughter from the BTS members.

“I will not marry with someone perverted like PD-nim, ” Sejin mentioned sternly.

Bang PD looked at Sejin bewildered. “Yah! Who will ever marry someone who nags like an older woman?” he refutes.

“They do really likes those typical couples!” Hoseok whispered to Taehyung but still audible to the other members. They were burst into another fit of laughter and enjoy watching the two important men in BigHit continue to argue over a trivial matter.

In which later, Bang PD almost jumped from his chair when Namjoon had been calling him ‘abeoji’ and Sejin bawled his eyes at his exaggerating reaction.

Unknown to them, someone had been begrudgingly eavesdropping to their conversation outside the room. The fist was clenched in anger and he can’t hide his frustration that he has been left out in the meeting.

Sukhoon stares at the closed door, heart built with an enormous grudge listening to the happy laugh of every single person in the room.

“This won’t be long, Namjoon. You should taste your own medicine. Soon. Soon all this happiness will be gone! Let's the game begin!”





Chapter Text


 

"Namjoon!"

Namjoon halted immediately at the umpteenth shouting, looking at Sungdeuk timidly. His whole body was sweating profusely after the two hours continuous dancing - practicing their new choreography for their comeback song 'Fake Love' and 'Idol'.

"Use your left feet! We've been going through the same routine for one hour already!" Sungdeuk let out his frustration at the leader.

Namjoon bites his lower lip and immediately bowed apologetically. He glanced at the rest of his teammates, feeling guilty when he saw their tired faces. They have been holding up for his sake. They didn't say anything or showing any angry expression for his constant mistakes but he still feels guilty for dragging them down.

The music starts again and Namjoon told to himself to be more focus. He tried his best not to repeat the same mistakes, be more careful with each step. But once again, he stumbles on his foot - collided with Jungkook.

Namjoon almost fell if Jungkook didn't grab his arm instantly. He'd noticed the concerned face of the maknae but avoided the stares. The music stopped and everyone's attention on him again. Namjoon sighed in exasperation, running through his hand over his damp hair.

"Namjoon, focus! You can't keep doing this. Think about your teammate. They had mastered the choreography before you. I know you just get better with your injury but it doesn't give you a reason to fall behind, right?" said Sungdeuk with a gruff voice.

Namjoon nodded his head weakly, listening to Sungdeuk's rant wholeheartedly. He didn't blame the elder though. He knows that he has all the reason to get mad. He had been resting for two weeks thus he should be more energetic than the other. But he just keeps slowing them down.

"On your spot again!" shouted Sungdeuk before he played 'Fake Love', blasting the music throughout the dance studio.

Namjoon flinched when someone pats on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Hoseok had been looking at him with his signature hearty smile.

"Don't give up Joon-ah. You can do this, okay?"

Namjoon was touched at the kind gestures of the rapper. He knew that Hoseok always being serious about the dance and for him to be such an understanding makes him feel at ease. Momentarily.

And then the shouting continues.

"Namjoon!"
"Left foot!"
"Move your legs, Namjoon!"
"To the right, not left!"
"Seokjin can do it better than you!"
"Faster, Namjoon!"
"You missed the beat!"

Namjoon slumped on the dance floor with shirt soaking wet. He was panting out of breath. Everything was so hard to him and he can't perfect the dance at all. Sungdeuk gives him a cold stare and sternly said that he wanted Namjoon to stay behind for more practice.

Namjoon leaned on the floor, pulled his knees to the chest and closed his eyes tightly - trying to chase away the sore and ache all over his body. The comeback was set on the next week so he needs to pour up his effort more than the others. He didn't want to be the reason BTS need to postpone their comeback just because he failed to dance properly. That's was so unprofessional. A leader shouldn't do that.

Namjoon gasped when something cold pressed over his cheek, slowly opened his eyes. He tilted to the side and flashed a smile when he saw Yoongi - shoving the bottled water to him. He took it and chugged the cold water in one go. Damn, he didn't realize that he was so thirsty. His throat feels better and he feels a little bit refreshed.

Yoongi sits besides Namjoon, where his shoulder brushed together with Namjoon's. He can see the leader was having a hard day today. Everyone was concerned and had asked Yoongi to comfort the leader. Which he gives his murderous look at the rest before he went to Namjoon.

"Sungdeuk-nim didn't mean anything when he shouts at you. You know that he always been so serious when it comes to the dance..." Yoongi says smoothly.

Yoongi was trying to reasoning Sungdeuk's behavior to Namjoon. Like, he was afraid that Namjoon will misunderstand the performance director for hating Namjoon. Which is not the case. Everyone was so stressed about the comeback. Everything needs to be perfect before the day come.

Namjoon hummed at the explanation. His eyes were looking forward, at the staffs - packing up a few of the items on the floor before leaving the studio one by one.

"I know," Namjoon breathes out the words, sounded like he was whispering. He was so drained that he didn't even have the energy to talk.

"I just feel that after all these years, how come I'm still bad at dancing. I should be better, right? But today... everything was so messed up and I just can't - can't..." he continues as the heavy emotion started to clouded his mind.

"Joon-ah..." Yoongi interrupts Namjoon's rambling. He grabbed Namjoon's hand and squeezed it lightly. Yoongi glanced at Namjoon, taking his silence as the hint for him to continue to speak.

"Don't say that. You've done the best you could. It's just that today was not the best day for you. Everyone gets through the same shit. Sometimes everything was going so fine but on another day it's all over the place...." Yoongi said with a calm voice.

Namjoon sighed deeply and dangled down his head - staring at Yoongi's small hand over his. "As a leader, I shouldn't be like that, hyung. As a leader, I should set a good example for my bandmates. As the leader..."

"A leader also a human being, Joon. You are deemed to make mistakes and to feel down. You're not a robot. You can't make everything right like it has been programmed into your brain..." Yoongi refutes.

"I thought we had enough discussion about this before."

Namjoon lifts up his head and Hoseok was standing in front of him with a crossed arm to his waist. His face looks intense as if something or someone had made him infuriates. Namjoon swallowed hard realizing that maybe the reason was him.

"Stop all these depreciating thoughts in your genius brain, Namjoon. You have something more important to do rather than moping for something not even existed." Hoseok said sternly.

Namjoon shuddered at the seriousness evidently shown in Hoseok's voice. He can feel Yoongi's hand squeezing his shoulder, giving him the strength that he really needs.

Namjoon was taken aback a little bit when Hoseok crouched down in front of him, showing his hearty smile. Hoseok looks so handsome with his damp hair and his flushed face.

"And baby have you ever saw how you move your hips in Idol? Hips don't lie baby!" notes Hoseok playfully and a peal of laughter erupted in the studio by the other members.

Namjoon's face flushed with red out of embarrassment, hiding his face under his hand. He didn't know why he gets the introduction part of the Idol song. He was so embarrassed at first when he saw the choreography and how he needs to move his hips like that.

"You know what darling? You hadn't been in little space for the whole week and maybe it's the reasons why you have all these weird imaginary thought. So, let's go back home and take a nice warm bath and you can play with Ryan while watching Moana. Okay?"

Hoseok was prying over Namjoon, trying to coax the leader to regress into the little space. It's almost a week that Namjoon hasn't been a little because of their busy schedules. They had been practicing a lot as the comeback preparation. Once they got back to the dorm, they were basically too tired and go to sleep instantly.

Namjoon's eyes beaming at the mention of Moana, one of his favorite cartoon. Well, of course, he likes Sailormoon the most but Moana was in the list too. But Namjoon was hesitating. He had been forcing himself not to be a little for the week because of the tight schedules. He didn't want to play around when there's a lot of things to do for their comeback.

"But-but hyung...we need to..."

"Come on Joonie. Let's watch the movie together. Everyone needs a break and we miss little Joonie, " coaxed Yoongi while he discreetly winked at Hoseok. Both had planned this earlier with the others.

Hoseok smiles before he pats Namjoon's hand on his knees. "You see, we will sit around the living room, and appa will cook something delicious for you..."

Namjoon perked up at the mentioned of food. His stomach automatically grumbles and he grinned shyly. "Nugget?" he asked with a low tone. Slowly regressed, but Namjoon didn't aware of that at all. It was an on-off feeling.

Hoseok nods immediately. "Yes you can have dino nugget..." he cocked his head towards Seokjin where the eldest looking at him murderously for agreeing at the request.

Seokjin wasn't so keen to feed Namjoon with nuggets all the time - even if it is little Namjoon's favorite. Hoseok squinted his eyes towards Seokjin, pleading the male to be more cooperative. He makes a funny face and Seokjin grunts before he agreed. Giving an 'okay' sign to the rapper.

"Wif evewyone?" asked Namjoon in a slurred speech, eyes averted towards the rest of his members one by one before fixated back to Hoseok.

"Yes, darling. With everyone..." affirmed Hoseok.

Namjoon took a few seconds to think about the deal. Eyes quiver around the large dance studio. He was fiddling with his fingers, feeling restless. There's something is holding him up.

"But-but dance?" he asked sadly.

Hoseok exchanged a meaningful gaze with Yoongi before the oldest rapper took out his phone and typing something on it. They remained silent for a few minutes before Yoongi's phone dinged with a notification.

"Well, Sungdeuk-nim agreed for you to have a rest today and continue the practice tomorrow afternoon, " told Yoongi with a gummy smile. Feeling relieved that Sungdeuk agrees to give the break to Namjoon after he explained the situation.

Sungdeuk: Ok. He can practice the dance tomorrow. But I want a picture where Namjoon in his onesie with his pacifier!

Yoongi let out a small scoff and rolled his eyes at the odd request but agreed to it after all. He knew everyone was swooning over little Namjoon.

"But Joo-Joonie can't dance and-and ahjussi wan Joonie to pwactice!" refute Namjoon, pouting his lips.

"No ahjussi said it's okay for today..." explained Hoseok further.

Namjoon's shoulder slump down still didn't feel at ease to slacking off today. He can't be selfish just to fulfill his desire to be little. He admits that he feels stressed past few days because of the hectic schedule. Besides the non-stop dance practices, he needs to attend tons of meeting with various people in the company about their schedules.

It's almost midnight when he went home and his body was too sluggish to think about anything - immediately fallen asleep once his head touched the pillow. Wake up so early in the morning, his whole body becomes so stiff and it's affected his movement. His dance was all over the places, he couldn't be focused at all.

He really needs a little break. But his mind was working in hyperdrive - thinking everything that needs to be sorted out before next week. There's a lot of works and taking a break will only slowing down the progress.

"Joonie...Joonie..." Hoseok sing-song the name as in the famous nursery rhymes Johnny - immediately put a stopover Namjoon's reverie.

Namjoon instantly giggles, feeling giddy all over his stomach like thousands of butterfly roaming around. "Yes papa!" he sings the song back sheepishly, cocking his head to the side cutely.

Everyone was cooing over his cute reply.

"Let's go home and watch Moana, okay?" Hoseok said.

Namjoon didn't wait for a second before nodding his head with enthusiasm. Fully regressed into the little space.

Hoseok sighed in relieved. It wasn't too hard to trigger Namjoon's little space when he is already in stressful states. But for him to be a little this fast was quiet concerning too. Hoseok notices the same concern look over Yoongi's face.

Everyone gathers their belonging together before Yoongi pulled up Namjoon's lanky body on his feet. The little already bouncing happily, can't wait to watch his favorite movie.

Jimin put Namjoon's coat over his body and the little immediately hugged his dada, clinging to him like a koala. Jimin puffed his cheek at the sudden weight over his waist, legs swaying a little bit before Jungkook helps him - holding his back to stabilize his feet.

"Thanks, Kookie!" he grimaced funnily at the maknae and Kookie laughed at the humorous expression.

"Do you want me to hold him then? You look like you're going to break into two hyung," offered Jungkook while teasing the small vocalist.

Jimin groaned in annoyance. "I can do this you punk! Don't underestimate the power of..."

"Jam-less Jimin?" Jungkook mentioned in sarcasm, wiggling his brows comically.

"Yah you brat!!" Jimin shouted at Jungkook when the maknae already sprinted out from the dance studio - knowing that Jimin will scold him for saying that. He can hear Jungkook boisterous laugh on the hallway.


 


Namjoon woke up that morning with a grouchy mood. He feels lethargic after the strenuous dance practices for the whole week. He rubs his sleepy eyes with his paw, grabbing his Ryan before he strides out heading to the kitchen.

He can hear a few chatting and he pouted when he saw all his caregivers already seated on the table. His appa was still busy frying something in the pan.

Namjoon took his seat with a loud huff, alerting all his caregivers. Everyone was so happy to see him, shot up from their chairs and give him a chaste peck on his cheek - noticing his sleepy face with messy bed-hair. His white shirt was too big for him and probably it was Seokjin's - his left shoulder peeking through the large shirt.

"Joonie was awone!" he exclaimed in frustration that he wakes up without anyone on his side. It makes him feels more bitter.

Jimin cooed over the cuteness, pinching his chubby cheeks playfully. Namjoon winced in pain and glared at his dada angrily.

"Sorry baby. We thought you need more sleep before our practice this afternoon..." Jimin explained.

"Joonie no pwactice! Joonie wanna stay home!" Namjoon said.

Everyone was shocked to hear that from Namjoon. Seokjin immediately turns off the stove and approached the leader. He can see the confused faces of his members.

"Joonie? What's wrong?" Seokjin asked with a soft voice.

Namjoon tilted his head towards Seokjin. "Joonie no wan pwactice. Joonie wanna pway!" Namjoon said with a rising voice.

Seokjin furrowed his brows. "Joonie... you know that you need to go for practice today right? Ahjussi had given you the break yesterday and we were having a good time together last night too."

"Appa's right Joonie. We need to go to practice today. You can play afterward though. Okay?" Taehyung further said, ruffling the already messy bed-hair of the little.

Namjoon huffed but says nothing about it. He was obviously sulking. He didn't even give a look towards his caregivers when the food ready on the table. And everyone chooses to ignore him, thinking that he already understands the situation.

Namjoon stares at the food in front of him and has a sullen face when there's no nugget. He had asked his appa last night for nugget and he agreed to make it for him today.

"Nugget?" he asked innocently.

Seokjin was flustered when he realized that he forgot about it. Moreover, there's no more nugget in the fridge. He had used everything last night.

"Ah, about that. Appa sorry Joonie. There's no nugget in the fridge. Appa forgets to buy it. But it's okay, I'll make it for you after our practice. Okay?" tell Seokjin, a little bit guilty to let the little down.

"Eat the pancake for breakfast and you will have the nugget tonight, " said Yoongi when he saw Namjoon's sour face.

Namjoon looks at his plate, gritting his teeth in anger. He shoved the plate far from him, making a clanking noise when the plate collided with a bowl - spilling the soup on the table.

A loud gasped erupted around the table with a few murmurs from everyone. They were surprised to see Namjoon's been acting up. This is the first time for the little to be so moody and grumpy.

Seokjin sighed. "Joonie, don't do that. It's rude, okay?"

Namjoon eyes on his appa, batting his eyelashes without breaking the eye contact. "Joonie wan nugget!!" he screamed.

Seokjin and the others jolted from their chairs - apparently shocked at the outburst. Seokjin glanced at Yoongi, asking the male to say something.

Yoongi bawled his eyes in irritation. "Why you always asked me to do this? I'm not the eomma for God sake!" he rebukes angrily.

Seokjin smacked his forearm, making the petite rapper to yelp in pain. "I'm not the eomma too Yoongi. You are the daddy, you have the veto power in this. Come on!" he gushes, pushing the male's forearm gently.

Yoongi groaned before he averted his attention back to Namjoon. "Joonie listen to appa. You'll get the nugget tonight. For now, eat the pancakes, " he said with an authoritative tone.

Namjoon cowered at the low and deep tone, clutching his Ryan to his chest tightly. He knew he should be listening to his daddy at this rate, but he was too stubborn because he's not in the mood to bargain anything this morning.

Namjoon shook his head before he speaks firmly. "No! No pancake. Nugget only!"

"Don't be a brat Joonie!" Yoongi scolded the little.

Namjoon lips tremble at the accusation, feeling sad that his daddy had called him a brat for asking his favorite nugget. His eyes glistening as he stares at his daddy.

"Joonie no eat!" he shouted so loud that everyone was shocked once again.

Namjoon shot up from the chair trying to go back to his room. But Seokjin managed to grab his forearm and turned his body a little bit rough.

"What is this Joonie? You've been rude to daddy and appa. This is not a good way to behave. You know that, right?" notes Seokjin. He almost retreats himself from scolding the little when he saw the puddle of tears in his eyes but Seokjin knows he couldn't let this slide.

"Joonie wan nugget. No wanna pwactice. Wanna stay home!" Namjoon repeats his request with a shaking voice. Tears started to roll down to his chubby cheek.

"I know you are tired. Everyone does. But this is not the right thing to do Joonie. You are being rude and this is unacceptable. I-I have to punish you, " said Seokjin with a stern voice.

Namjoon eyes widen at the threat, shaking his head wildly. "No!!! Joonie no wrong!"

Seokjin sighed. "Yes, you are young man. You need to apologize to me and daddy and the rest for acting up just now..."

Namjoon looks at his appa incredulously before he darted his eyes towards his other caregivers. Everyone was looking at him and he shuddered to see the cold gazes.

"No!" Namjoon protested, stomping his feet on the floor.

"Kim Namjoon!"

Namjoon body jerked up at the mentioned of his full name by Yoongi. He starts to sobs when everyone looks so angry at him.

"Enough young man. You need a time-out!" said Seokjin and dragged the little towards the corner of the living room. He forcefully moved Namjoon's shoulder to face the wall.

"You will stand here for ten minutes and think about your wrongdoing. If you still refuse to apologize then another ten minutes. Do you understand?"

Namjoon head dangled down to the floor, didn't answer to Seokjin's question. He refused to do so because he was confident that he had done nothing wrong. He just wants nugget for breakfast and to stay at home because he was too tired. That's all.

Namjoon squeaked in horror when Seokjin snatched away his Ryan. He looks at his appa with his doe eyes.

"No Ryan until then!"

Namjoon was crying out loud. "Wyan! No! Appa, wan Wyan!"

Seokjin's heart clenched at the sad pleading but he needs to be more firm in this matter. He needs to educate little Namjoon that he can't have everything he wants and he shouldn't act like a brat when he didn't get one. That's not how life is.

"NO!" Seokjin said. "And don't move if you didn't want a longer time out..." he continues when Namjoon tries to move.

"Ap-appa...Wyan..."

"I won't give Ryan to you if you still act like this!"

Namjoon continues to cry, face facing the wall - standing with a wobbly leg. He keeps chanted his Ryan. His face already crimson red, soaking wet with tears.

"Hyung?"

Seokjin turned and saw the maknae line was looking at him with sad faces.

"Is it okay for us to do this? He was crying..." asked Taehyung, a little bit concerned about Namjoon.

"We never punished him before and to see him like that, its too painful, hyung, " tell Jimin. And Jungkook nods his head in agreement with his two hyungs.

Seokjin sighed with dismay evidently shown on his face. "That's why we need to do this. We can't let him escape each time he throws a tantrum. We already agreed with this right? And this is the perfect time to do it..." explained Seokjin.

"But hyung..."

"Jin's doing the right thing Jimin. Namjoon needs punishment. " Yoongi interrupts when he saw Jimin was trying to protest.

"I agree with Jin and Yoongi, " added Hoseok.

The maknae remained silence and have to agree with their hyung on this. Despite they feel pity for Namjoon, but he really needs the punishment for being a brat.

And later that morning.

"Ap-appa, Da-daddy...Joonie so-sowie..."





Chapter Text


 

Namjoon was running around the plane, back and forth while the members watching at him with fond eyes. The little was being hyperactive since they take off, couldn’t sleep because he’s too excited to ride the plane in his little space.

They were on their way to the US to perform at America's Got Talent. Everyone was enthusiast that they were able to get the opportunity to perform in such a big stage. This is another stepping stone for BTS to be on the map of the western entertainment industries.

It’s really a hectic schedule after they had released their new album Love Yourself: Answer. After promoting their album in Korea, they were going to overseas for the same. And then they will be on the world tour again.

“Daddy! Wook! Wook! It’s cotton candy!!” exclaimed Namjoon with the pacifier in his mouth and his favorite Ryan plush securely tug under his left arm.

Yoongi let out a soft chuckle and his hand reached for Namjoon's silver hair – ruffling it until it becomes messy. “Don’t you want to sleep, baby? You’ve been playing for two hours already,” he said.

Namjoon instantly shook his head. “No – no daddy! Joonie wanna pway!” he gushes while bouncing on his feet.

“He’s really excited for today, hyung. He has never been in a little space whenever we travel to the overseas. This is his first time to be a little in a plane…” says Taehyung.

Yoongi tilted his head towards the vocalist – sitting beside him. He had his signature boxy smile while he watched his leader running to the back to pester Jimin and Hoseok.

“Yeah, he barely can sleep last night. He keeps asking me when the sun will come out and at what time are we going to the airport…” told Yoongi as he rubbed his tired face.

Namjoon keeps knocking on his door that night, asking when will they go to the airport. After he said at eight in the morning the little left to sleep. But then he came again two hours later, banging his door asking whether it’s eight already.

Little Namjoon can’t read the time. Yoongi had kept that in his mind. But to be constantly harassed in the middle of the night until five almost makes him lose his patience. But he didn’t have the gut to scold the little when he appeared in front of his room looking so adorable. He was smiling to the ears, hair was messy and sucking his pacifier.

Yoongi was swooning over Namjoon so he let the little to do whatever he wants. Which later makes the rest of the members to grunt at him for scolding them whenever they disturbed his sleep. Can’t blame Yoongi for that. Namjoon is his precious baby so he deserved the special treatment.

“Taetae! Taetae-oppa! Are we there yet?” the little comes to Taehyung with his cute dimpled-smile.

Taehyung softly chuckles at his antics. “Not yet darling. I think you need to take a nap, Joonie…”

Namjoon pouted. “No! Joonie wants – want to see the sky... No nappies!” he whined.

“This is the reason why you shouldn’t let him had the gummy bears for breakfast! He’s been so hyperactive!” comments Seokjin as he glared at Taehyung.

Taehyung cocked his head, looking at Seokjin. He rolled his eyes when he saw RJ was seated comfortably on the seat besides Seokjin. What a weird hyung!

“Hyung he had been running all over the house chasing me for that gummy! It’s terrifying! When I put the jar on the top of the cabinet, you know exactly how that super fleshy long leg with the super long hand can reach for it easily!” Taehyung said exasperatedly.

Seokjin scoffs at the answer. “You’re just giving an excuse for you to get away, Tae…”

“Appa – appa! When – when we will meet Iron – Ironman??” the little asked in excitement interrupting the elder's talk.

Seokjin, Yoongi, and Taehyung frowned at the question. “Ironman?” the three asked in confusion.

“Where this Ironman came from??” Seokjin queried. A frown curved on his forehead. 

Jungkook sheepishly grinned and raised his hand. “Well, when he woke up this morning, he’s a little bit grumpy. When I said 'grumpy' that’s mean grumpier than Yoongi-hyung...aww!” Jungkook turned his head to look at Yoongi.

Yoongi shot a glare at him after he smacks the young vocalist with the pillow on his face. Seokjin laughed watching the two and Jungkook stick out his tongue at Yoongi playfully.

“Okay, back to my story. So when he refused to take bath and we already late – I accidentally said that Ironman had been waiting for him at the airport...” continued Jungkook as he let out a nervous chuckle.

Seokjin facepalms himself at the statement. “You did realize that once we landed he will ask for Ironman? He won’t easily forget about this Jungkook. You make an empty promise...”

Yoongi chided at the maknae. “You are answerable if he throws a tantrum at the airport, Jungkook,” he pointed his finger begrudgingly at Jungkook.

“When? When we gonna meet Ironman? I want – wanna see Ironman!” Namjoon excitedly interrupted the conversation. His face was beaming so bright thinking that he was able to see Ironman with his own eyes.

Seokjin and Yoongi smirked at the question, giving their smug face on Jungkook. “Your call!” they said almost in unison.

Jungkook groaned in frustration. “Uggh, help me hyung!” he desperately begged for his hyung to cover up for his mistake.

Seokjin bawled his eyes. “You are on your own Jungkook.” And Yoongi nods his head, in agreement with Seokjin. He ignored the sullen expression of the maknae and closed his eyes – going to sleep since it will take another eight hours before they landed.

“Hyung!!”

“Hyungie! Hyungie! Ironman will be there, wight?” Namjoon shakes Jungkook shoulder when Jungkook didn’t pay any attention to him.

Jungkook groaned and hide his face with one of his hands. He can hear how his two hyung was mockingly laughed at him. His shoulder has been shaken by the little once again when he didn’t answer him yet. Jungkook lifted his head and try his best to smile at Namjoon.

“Maybe…” he answered hesitantly.

Namjoon's face fell at instances, gawking at Jungkook with a deep frown. “B-but you said he – he will be waiting for Joonie!” he exclaimed, a little bit whining while his lower lips protruding.

“Yeah hyungie, you promise Ironman will be at the airport to welcome us!” teased Yoongi with his smug face.

Jungkook glared at the oldest rapper but Yoongi unable to see it because he was wearing his eye-guard. But his lips twitched into a smirk as if he can see Jungkook's eyes.

“No Ironman?”

Jungkook tilted his head to see Namjoon and his heart immediately dropped to the pit of his stomach when he saw the hazelnut eyes glazed in tears. Jungkook immediately shot up from his seat and hugged the almost crying leader.

“Please don’t cry Joonie. Well, actually Ironman just called me and said he had something urgent to attend. I mean he’s going to save the world so he can’t come and see us…” lied Jungkook smoothly. His hand was rubbing the back of the little in a circle.

Namjoon sniffs and detached himself from Jungkook. “Saf – saf the world? Weally?” he asked innocently.

Jungkook nods. “Yeah, he’s a busy man, Joonie. He’s trying to get rid of the bad people so that they won’t come and attack us…”

Namjoon gasped and he tightens his arm around his favorite Ryan. “Oh no! Ironman need to hewp us hyungie! Joonie ish scawed!” he gushes.

Jungkook let out a soft chuckle at the words. He ruffled on Namjoon's hair tenderly. “Yeah, Ironman is going to protect us…”

Namjoon grinned happily. “Daddy! Appa! Ironman ish – ish going to pwo – pwotect us fwom the bad people!!” he said chirpily, looking at his caregivers with his shining doe eyes.

Seokjin burst into small laughter and Yoongi smiles listening to the little cute tiny voice. Jungkook whisper-yelled a ‘yes’ while he fisted his hand on the air. Happy that he managed to convince the little with his white lies.

“You’re lucky that he easily believes in your stupid story, Jungkook!” mumbled Yoongi sleepily.

“He’s a baby and that story was very convincing - well to him of course…” adds Seokjin as he bawled his eyes in annoyance.

“I’m a genius!” he self-proclaimed and Jungkook stuck out his tongue when Seokjin and Yoongi let out a disgruntled sound. Obviously, disagree with their golden maknae.


 


Being in the US, promoting their new album was exciting yet tiresome. The non-stop interviews and broadcasting had made the members barely had a break. They only can sleep for three to four hours a day before they need to rush for their next schedules. Everyone was sullen and became lethargic at the end of the day.

Namjoon had being affected the worst. He really loves to be in the talk show or attending to interviews – promoting their album as well as expanding the k-pop influence on the western countries.

But being the only one who is fluent in English – he’ll do most of the talk and sometimes help the members to translate the questions and later translating the answer given to the interviewer. Jungkook is learning a foreign language. He was being adamant to help the leader but he's still nervous to speaks and need more time to brush up his English.

Being fluent in English, his members relied on so much. And Namjoon was happy doing so for his members. But sometimes it doesn't go well with the plan. It's rarely happened but sometimes his brain became blank while translating. He was buffering for a few seconds before he managed to translate every single word - stammering a little bit.

They had the translator with them but it seems Namjoon had taken the responsibility subconsciously. Most of the time its Namjoon who had taken the role as the translator. Sometimes it really makes the member feel so frustrated. The translator just sits there together with BTS, didn't speak at all.

They can see how Namjoon had been doing the triple works and it’s started to get out of hand. They can see the tired face of their beloved leader and how he was struggling with his own words.

And it’s happening again when Namjoon freezes for almost a minute. The members were constantly glancing over him, feeling restless looking at the leader. They can see how Namjoon's was thinking so hard, gnawing his lower lips. His jawline was moving tightly and his eyes quiver nervously.

Namjoon was dumbfounded for a second, thinking what’s the appropriate words to translate Jimin's answer. The question was so simple. About their dating preferences. And Jimin had given his answer – short and simple too. But somehow Namjoon's brain stop functioning. He was blanked out, stuttering in his speech as his hand flailing in the air – he was panicking.

“Well…” he’s been saying that for a few times in a row already. “…you know…” he trailed off a little bit. “he said that – “ he still couldn’t find the correct words in English and Namjoon starts to have a cold sweat.

Everyone keeps glancing at him through their peripheral visions. Hoseok who had been sitting besides Namjoon notices how the leader was struggling. Hoseok can see Namjoon's hand was shaking and sweats start to form on the side of his head. Hoseok then averted his eyes towards the translator, hired by BigHit – doing nothing except sitting in front of them and let Namjoon do the talk.

Hoseok clicked his tongue before he pats on Namjoon's thigh. Namjoon flinched and tilted his head to see the rapper. Hoseok grits his teeth when he can see Namjoon's panic face.

“I didn’t know the exact words and my mind didn’t work properly…” Namjoon whispered to Hoseok while nervously chuckles to hide his embarrassment.

Hoseok then snatched the microphone on Namjoon's hand before he turned his gaze towards their translator with a sharp stare. “Why don’t you translate it for us, it’s your job! Can’t you see that he needs the help?? Do your job properly!” he scolds the translator in Korean while he maintains his smile to the host.

The members had goosebumps seeing the rapper's outburst and his odd expression. They know not to mess with Hoseok if he wore such face. That’s mean he’s going to kill somebody – literally.

The translator gulped at the intimidating aura, quickly translated the answer given by Jimin. Namjoon sighed in disappointment that he wasn’t able to execute his role as the leader perfectly. 

“You need a break, Namjoon…” whispered Hoseok.

Namjoon’s body stiffens at the statement, slowly shook his head. “It's my job as a leader. I’m afraid that the translator failed to deliver the essence of the member's answer like I did. His job is to translate words by words but it’s my job to translate based on our member's real emotion…” he answered without looking at Hoseok.

“You’ve been harsh towards yourself. Let loose a little bit and let the translator do his job. We don’t want the company to pay him for nothing… it’s such a waste!”

Namjoon didn’t say anything as he didn’t want to argue with Hoseok in front of everyone. Not that he was angry at Hoseok, he just thought that he wasn’t in his best shape today. Maybe the tight schedules had started to take a toll against his body and mind. Maybe Hoseok was right. He needs to rest a little bit.


 


Namjoon rubbed his face roughly, trying to chase away the sleepiness that starts to torture him. He didn’t sleep for more than twenty-four hours – attending shows, interviews, and meetings. While the members will go straight to their hotel's room after their schedule ended, he needs to stay back for meetings with the staff for the next day schedules.

Namjoon diligently jotted down all the information about the next schedules so that he can brief his members later. His eyelids feel so heavy and he was thinking about his bed. How his body was sore and his muscles feel tight – he really needs to lie down; at least for fifteen minutes.

Namjoon glanced at his watch and sighed when he saw it's almost two in the morning. That’s mean he had been in the meeting room for two hours already. And he can see everyone's was on the edge and how the fatigues evidently shown on their faces.

Namjoon let out a heavy sighed. The staffs had the same burden as he is. Namjoon couldn’t let himself to let out his frustration when everyone was working as hard as he was. He needs to show his gratitude for their hard works too. Despite being too tired and in need of rest so bad, Namjoon just hangs on and went through the meeting half-heartedly.

It’s 2.30 in the morning when he walked into the hotel and almost dragged his feet to his room. Namjoon squinted his eyes towards the hallway where he notices someone is standing in front of his room. His vision was blurry since he didn’t wear his contact lens and he left his glasses in his room.

Namjoon sighed before he approached the said male and his eyes widen in shocked to see him in person. “Suk – Sukhoon-ssi?” He couldn’t believe himself when he saw Sukhoon was here – in the US particularly.

Sukhoon shouldn’t be here at all. He wasn’t included in the entourage for BTS tour in the US. He was responsible for BTS’s schedule in Korea and it was two weeks later. So what’s the new manager is doing here?

“Hey, Namjoon… miss me?” Sukhoon greeted the leader with his smug face.

Namjoon feels his throat a little bit dry when he swallowed, and his heart was pounding in nervousness. “Wh – what are you doing here?” he asked.

Sukhoon chuckles at the question. He can see how nervous Namjoon was. And somehow it makes him feel happy. It’s always a euphoric moment to see the suffering of the young man.

“Well, Bang PD-nim wants me to learn from Sejin on how to handle your busy schedules in overseas. It's a great chance that I need to grab, so here I am. And I think it’s important for me to meet and greet you first before the others. You always know that you’re my favorite in BTS…” says Sukhoon. His honesty was questionable though.

Namjoon frowned but he was too tired to argue with Sukhoon. He just wants to take a shower and go to sleep as fast as he can.

“I’m too tired for all this, Sukhoon-ssi. Can’t you wait till morning before you’re trying to mess with me?” Namjoon says with his weak and tired voice. He runs his fingers over his hair, sighing in frustration with the unexpected visit.

Sukhoon grits his teeth as his eyes turn into hawk-eye; staring at Namjoon with anger. “Wow, Namjoon. After two weeks you had the gut to talk back to me. This is new. I shouldn’t let you feel so relax for too long, right?”

Namjoon holds his breath at the threat. “What do you want from me, Sukhoon-ssi? Can you just please tell me and stop beating around the bush? No need to drag it and let’s settle whatever problem you have with me…” Namjoon says, almost lost his patience in dealing with Sukhoon's antic.

Sukhoon snickered at the rants, looking at Namjoon begrudgingly. He slowly moves a step forward. Namjoon was taken aback at the sudden act and let out a shuddering breath.

“I want you to pay for your sin, Kim Namjoon!” states Sukhoon venomously. He had been repeating himself since day one, the reason why he likes to torture Namjoon.

Namjoon arched his brows in confusion. He didn’t know which sin been referred by Sukhoon. In fact, he doesn’t even know whether he ever committed any sin towards Sukhoon.

“Just tell me the truth, Sukhoon-ssi. I don’t want to play any game with you. Don’t you feel tired of doing this? I’m not interested to be in this cat and mouse game…” said Namjoon in exasperation.

Sukhoon chided, feeling annoyed at how calm Namjoon been dealing with his behavior. “Maybe if you use your genius brain, you can find the answer you were looking for, Namjoon. Or maybe you were just too hypocrite to admit that you’d done something worst before. You were just trying to forget your dark past!" accused Sukhoon.

Namjoon looks at Sukhoon bewildered. The accusation was baseless. Sukhoon was trying to play with his emotion. Sukhoon just wants to manipulate his conscience. Sukhoon just having fun watching him suffering in this game. His malicious intention was self-evident.

“If you’re going to be this vague for the whole time, I don’t have time to entertain you, Sukhoon-ssi!” Namjoon notes with a stern voice. His hand rolled down the knob of his room, trying to ignore the manager.

Namjoon let out a small yelp when Sukhoon grabbed his arm and turned his body in force. His eyes widen in shocked at the attitude, gawking at Sukhoon utterly annoyed.

“Don’t be too sassy, Kim Namjoon-ssi. You will not like the consequences and you’ll regret giving this shit to me!” spats Sukhoon in anger. His eyes were red.

Namjoon try to pull away from his hand but the handgrip was too strong – he can feel how Sukhoon's nails buried in his flesh. He groaned thinking that it will cause bruises later and their stylist won’t like the fact if he needs to wear a sleeveless shirt for a performance.

“Then just tell me what the hell you want from me!” Namjoon whisper-yelled in frustration because he had done in tolerating with Sukhoon's antic.

Sukhoon was surprised to see the little anger. He then let out a half-suppressed laugh, feeling amused to see how Namjoon had put a small fight. He didn’t expect the leader to show his courageous out of sudden. Instead of mad, he feels intrigued. The game he started before seems to get more interesting.

“Well, Namjoon-ssi… you get what you’ve asked for. Don’t blame me then…” Sukhoon mentioned with an evil smile.

Namjoon brows puckered at the statement didn’t understand what is the male trying to deliver. Actually, he never truly understand the new manager.  Sukhoon is really mysterious, surrounded by a dark and evil aura. Namjoon didn’t feel comfortable to be around the male even for a second.

Sukhoon let go of his grip and he scoffs when he saw how Namjoon's hissed and rubbing his sore arm.

“I do understand your concern, Namjoon-ssi. Being an idol is really hard, especially when you were worldwide famous. Lots of things you need to do and as the leader, you bear the heaviest burden than the others…”

Namjoon raised one of his brows at the sudden speech, looking at Sukhoon with a quizzical look. “Wh – what?”

“Promoting your group in western countries were very challenging and the fact that none of you knows how to speak English – it will be a mitigating factor to earn recognition from the media. And BTS was lucky to have you as the leader because of your self-thought English. You had become their unofficial spoke person and been doing a lot of interviews on their behalf.”

Namjoon didn’t understand where this conversation is going. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It is understandable that you feel tired of doing the job all by yourself, without the help of your bandmates. And of course, at one point you wished that the rest of the members can help you by learning some basic English…”

Namjoon shook his head in disagreement. “I – I never had –“

“I know it’s hard when the rest were having a good rest meanwhile you still need to attend some meetings till late at night. I do understand if you think it’s unfair because you had done so many works and you deserved the rest more than they do…”

“What? I didn’t say –“

“It's okay if you feel frustrated with your own members, Namjoon-ssi. I do understand the feeling…”

Namjoon didn’t know why and what’s the purpose of Sukhoon been telling him this but it’s not true at all. He never felt that way towards his bandmates. It’s his job as the leader and he had fun doing all these. It was never a burden to him. He might be feeling tired at one time but it’s worth it. He never feels anger or holds any grudge towards his members because he knows they were willing to help him if he ever asked them to.

“I never feel –“

“Is it true hyung?”

Namjoon flinched at the intervention, slowly turned his body. Namjoon eyes widen in horror when he saw Taehyung and Jungkook were standing behind him with a sad expression. Their eyes were glassy as they stare at the leader.

“Is it true that you were frustrated by doing all the interviews alone?” Asked Jungkook with a shaken voice.

Namjoon shook his head vigorously. “No! No Kookie… I didn’t –“

“You should tell us if you didn’t want to do that, Namjoon-hyung. We didn’t know that you feel this way…” says Taehyung, obviously hurt with what he had heard just now.

“No, Taehyung. Listen, it’s not what you think. Actually –“

“We’re sorry for being so oblivious about your feeling, hyung!” Jungkook interrupted Namjoon's speech.

Namjoon almost screamed in frustration that he didn’t have the chance to explain anything. He didn’t want his members to misunderstand everything. He needs to clear up this mess.

“Tae, Kookie, please listen to me…”

“I think all of you should get a rest first and have a talk tomorrow. Everyone is tired and not in right mind at this moment…” Sukhoon came forward and stands in between of the three.

“But – but –"

“Maybe. Sorry for interrupting you guys!” said Taehyung. He ignored the pleading eyes of his leader and immediately dragged Jungkook through the hallway.

“Tae! Jungkook!” Namjoon called his members but the two didn’t turn their head for once. Namjoon strokes his hair to the back in frustration.

“Why are you doing this, Sukhoon-ssi???” Namjoon shouted at the new manager.

Sukhoon turned his body and facing Namjoon with a smug face. “As I said, you got what've you asked for…”

Namjoon growled at the answer. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you doing this to me??”

Sukhoon laughed. “It’s your job to find out, Namjoon!”

Namjoon murderously stares at Sukhoon, almost lurches forward and punched his face. But he knows it didn't do him any good. Sukhoon purposely trying to provoke him. Namjoon didn’t want to give what've Sukhoon expected from him.

Sukhoon lips move upward and slowly approaching Namjoon. He can see how the male was holding his breath. Sukhoon feels amused at the reaction.

“This is the first strike, Kim Namjoon-ssi. You’ve seen nothing yet!” said Sukhoon venomously and he slowly pats on Namjoon's cold cheek.

Namjoon’s heart was pounding so hard inside his ribcage. His legs were shaking and when Sukhoon leaves him alone, Namjoon immediately rushed to his room and slammed the door. Namjoon’s body slides down to the floor as he fell with a loud thud. He clutched his fist into a tight ball, eyes glistening with tears.

“Wha – what he want from me??”





 

Chapter Text


 

Namjoon didn’t know that the situation turns out to be worst within two days. After the encounter with Sukhoon that night, he has no chance to explain himself to Taehyung and Jungkook yet. Their busy and tight schedules had refrained him from doing so and the two maknaes had been avoiding him since.

It’s frustrating for Namjoon that he wasn’t able to deal with the problem as fast as he wanted to. And Sukhoon had been a real pain in the ass. He had been eyeing on every Namjoon's move like a predator. He was everywhere and each time he wanted to have a decent talk with Taehyung and Jungkook, Sukhoon will appear out of nowhere to interrupt.

BTS is in the midst of preparing for their world tour concerts and within that time they also need to attend various music awards as well as a few interviews. Namjoon couldn’t find the perfect time to converse with his members and he realized that the longer he set aside the problem, the worst it can be.

Namjoon steals a glance towards Taehyung and Jungkook, while the two were busy playing with their phones on the couch. The stylist noona was applying make-up to him, getting ready for their performance in a famous show; The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. In addition to that, they will sit down for an interview after their performance. It’s a nerve-racking experience and everyone is nervous right now.

Even the waiting room was booming with all the chattering sound, Namjoon can feel the stiffness in the air – especially with the two maknaes. Namjoon was fidgeting while the stylist touch-up his face with the foundation. He was counting on his head as to when the stylist will do her final touch on his face. He really needs to talk with the two by today. He wants to clear up all the misunderstanding.

“There you go…”

Namjoon mouthed a silent thank you at the stylist before he clumsily trudged over Taehyung and Jungkook – almost stumble on his own feet. He’s standing awkwardly in front of two but none of them had taken a look at him – even for a second. He curled his toes inside his shoes meanwhile both of his hand clasps together out of nervousness.

“Tae-ah, Kookie – I want – want to talk with you two…” he starts the conversation with a stammering speech. Obviously anxious facing the two.

Neither Taehyung or Jungkook lifts their head to see the leader. Their eyes fixated on the phone's screen as if they didn’t hear Namjoon just now. In fact, Namjoon's presence didn’t bother them at all. Namjoon took a deep breath at the response, clenching his hands till his knuckles turn to white.

“Ab – about that night. It’s a misunderstanding. I didn’t – didn’t –“

Jungkook clicked his tongue at the words. “I’m trying to practice my English here so I really appreciates if you didn’t talk to me,” he said venomously, without looking at Namjoon.

Namjoon's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach at the statement. His eyes blinking rapidly as he stares at the golden maknae sadly. He then turned his gaze to Taehyung and he bites his lips when Taehyung had put the earphone to his ears. He was ignoring him too.

“Guys, please…” Namjoon pleads with a shaken voice, almost burst into tears. He almost slipped into a little space as his heart pounding harshly inside his ribcage. He was putting a fight not to regress at this moment, realizing they need to be in the show in fifteen minutes.

“We were trying to be really helpful here. We need to brush up our English so that you won’t feel the burden to talk on our behalf anymore. Right?” spits Taehyung with anger lies in his deep voice as he stares at Namjoon furiously.

Namjoon flinched at the deep tone, looking at Taehyung with mouth agape. He wanted to say something to refute the allegation but his voice stuck in between of his throat. He couldn’t find the correct words to defend himself when his mind becomes fuzzy out of sudden. 

“Woah, this is a rare sight!”

Hoseok's brisk voice breaks the intense air between Namjoon and the two maknae. Hoseok slumps besides Taehyung and stretched his long arm on the younger's shoulder.

“I never know that you’re interested to learn English, Tae! I know about Jungkook, but you? What is it? Are you going to be a Hollywood actor now?” he asked with his playful tone, grinning at Taehyung.

Taehyung grunts when Hoseok pulled his body to him forcefully – his side pressed to Hoseok's.  “I just want to brush up my English so I can answer the question by myself. I don’t want to become a burden to someone, ” he answered viciously, being obvious that he’s targeting on Namjoon.

Namjoon bites his lips at the answer and he shuddered when he saw the sharp stares of the younger – shoots directly to him. Namjoon averted his eyes out of nervousness and he can hear Taehyung scoffing at him.

“Burden? What burden?” asked Hoseok confused and he looked at Taehyung for an answer.

Taehyung shrugs to dismiss the question didn’t have the intention to answer Hoseok. He noticed the sad expression of hid leader but he didn’t feel any guilt for saying that on Namjoon's face. He dismisses the vulnerability shown on Namjoon's face.

“I think all of us need to learn English seriously, hyung. At least we are able to give our own answer without the need for someone to translate for us. I don’t want our leader doing all the job for us and tiring him out…” Jungkook added without breaking eye contact with his own phone.

Hoseok’s brows arched in further confusion. He stares at the two male before his eyes turn to Namjoon – still standing in front of them awkwardly. Hoseok can feel the tension between the three but couldn’t fathom the reason behind it. And for Jungkook and Taehyung to talk about learning English sounded really off. As if they were mad about something. But what?

“All these times, it’s our Joonie has been translating for us. And some times the translator will do his job…” said Hoseok.

“I don’t want to pile the works on our leader's shoulder. He had so many things to handle – the meeting, interviews, composing. I don’t want to be the reason he feels frustrated for all the unending jobs, ” said Taehyung venomously.

Namjoon inhaled a sharp breath, almost choked at the hurtful words uttered by Taehyung. “I – I never think that way, Tae…” he tries to explain with his shaken voice.

Taehyung cocked his head towards the leader. He gawked at Namjoon with anger evidently shown on his handsome face. “Really? That’s not what I heard last two days!” irked Taehyung.

Namjoon’s body jerked at the sudden outburst, stumble a step backward. A puddle of tears starts to blur his vision. He took a heavy breath as his whole body trembles at the murderous stare thrown by Taehyung. He can see the rage and the hatred on his eyes. Namjoon feels his heart been pricked with a thousand needles.

“Hey Tae, I think that’s rude!” reprimand Hoseok. He was shocked to hear such words came out from Taehyung's mouth. He can feel the tension between Taehyung and Namjoon. He notices how Namjoon cowered at the harsh tone and he almost burst into tears. It makes his heart ached to see the leader that way.

“You know nothing, hyung!” refute Taehyung, a little bit frustrated at Hoseok.

Hoseok was taken aback at the response, looking at the vocalist with a quizzical look. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Taehyung was about to tell Hoseok the incident when one of the crew came and asked them to get ready for their performance. Taehyung huffed in frustration, get up from the couch hastily. He glared at Namjoon from the corner of his eyes before he left the room together with Jungkook.

Hoseok was still confused at the whole situation slowly approached the almost crying leader. He pats on Namjoon's shoulder, looking at him with pity. “Are you okay, Joon?”

Namjoon took a deep breath and used his sleeves to wipe his tears, but carefully not to ruin his make-up. “Yeah, I’m okay…”

“What’s that about, Joon? I never saw Tae mad like that before. And Jungkook too?” he asked with concern.

Namjoon shook his head. “Nothing, Hobi. It’s – it’s just a misunderstanding. I’ll explain later to Tae and Kookie.” He said. Not that he didn’t want to share with Hoseok the problem, but he wants to solve it with Taehyung and Jungkook first.

Hoseok sighed. “Okay. And if you need my help, don’t be too shy to ask.”

Namjoon flashed a weak smile and he nods at the offer. He hopes that he won’t need the help from others to solve the problem. Namjoon is confident that he can handle this matter by himself. But he was proven wrong.

 


 

Namjoon looks at the new schedule with arched brows. It’s the list of shows and interviews that BTS need to attend once they in Korea. Namjoon frowned at the tight schedules and he didn’t feel good at all. There was no break at all for the whole week.

Namjoon doesn’t feel good when he saw they need to rush for a rehearsal after they arrived at the International Incheon Airport. Sungdeuk had made a new choreography for Idol and he wants everyone in BTS to rehearse immediately. They need to perform the new dance in an award show two days later. That’s impossible!

Namjoon looked up to Sukhoon who had handed the schedule to him. “Did Sejin and PD-nim decides on this?” he asked warily.

Sukhoon nods. “Yes, I’m just giving this to you so you can brief your bandmates. The flight to Korea is the next morning at six. Make sure you tell them about the schedule. Seungduk-nim has sent the dance practice video through email and all of you can watch the new choreography. Once landed all of you need to go to the venue for a rehearsal.”

Namjoon exhaled a deep and heavy sighed. That was ridiculous. The company never asked them to rehearse after being on a long journey. Usually, they will take at least two days of rest to regain their energy before starts any schedules or dance rehearsals.

“I think I need to discuss this with Sejin-hyung first. I don’t think all of us in a good condition for any rehearsal after the long hours in the plane. We will be too tired to dance…” said Namjoon, showing his discontentment about the schedules.

Sukhoon instantly scoffs at the statement. “Don’t you think you’re sounded like a brat right now, Namjoon-ssi?” he asks in a derision tone.

Namjoon’s brows pucker at the allegations. “What do you mean?”

Sukhoon lips moved upwards. “BTS is really popular nowadays and has high demand everywhere. BigHit had invested their money to make sure BTS to be on the of the world.  Right now all of you’ve been enjoying all the special treatment which I like to emphasize that not all idol have the chance to taste that. Are you sure you can be slacking off and shows your arrogant attitude to them? Are you being demanding right now?”

Namjoon lips parted at the accusation, staring at Sukhoon with disbelief. He didn’t understand why does Sukhoon always think negatively about him as the leader of BTS. None of his accusations were true. Namjoon didn’t know what’s the motive of the manager to work at BigHit if he hates him so much.

“I think you’ve misunderstood something, Sukhoon-ssi. I and the members never acted arrogantly with all the fame we have right now. I acknowledge that BigHit had played an important role in BTS success. What we had achieved today was the hard work of everyone. No one becomes a single reason for our success.”

Namjoon had the urged to explain everything to Sukhoon. He can see that the male didn’t interested to hear it but Namjoon didn’t want Sukhoon to have the misconception about BTS. Seven of them never acted arrogantly towards anyone.  BTS has always been down to earth since day one.

“Namjoon, that was so nice of you. Everyone was talking about your leadership. They claimed that you are the reason why BTS stand tall in the eyes of the world. Because you never give up and you don’t let the members give up too. That was so charming and charismatic. I applaud you for being a good leader to BTS…” Sukhoon said but it sounded like a cynical comment.

Namjoon frowned in deep confusion. He didn’t understand where does this kind of conversation is going. His heart hammering when he thought about the last incident. Namjoon instantly turned his head to see if any of his members were there to listen to their conversation. But there was no one here except him and Sukhoon. Namjoon let out a sigh, feeling relieved.

Sukhoon chuckles watching Namjoon's reaction, a little bit amused to see the fear on his face. It’s some sort of accomplishment for him that he was able to instill the fear in Namjoon's mind and heart. It’s going to be very helpful later on.

“You are a very confused man, Sukhoon-ssi. At one moment you were praising me and at one moment you were torturing me. What did you gain for doing this?” Namjoon asked the manager, agonizing all the moments he had with Sukhoon.

Sukhoon’s face turns to smug. “Ah, I didn’t tell you the reason why I’m doing this, right?”

Namjoon rolled his eyes in annoyance at Sukhoon's demeanor. For the first time ever, Namjoon didn’t hide how much he detests someone. Sukhoon didn’t deserve any respect from him. This man is really a psychopath.

Sukhoon sniggered at Namjoon. “Let me ease your mind a little bit and give you a small hint. Maybe with the hint, you will be able to remember what kind of sin you have committed on the past…” he said.

Namjoon stared at Sukhoon. Why did Sukhoon keep saying about a sin that he didn’t know about? What will he gain if he keeps torturing him like this? What does he want to achieve by playing this game? Namjoon had lots of question but zero answers to that.

“As much as you’re a great leader today, don’t you forget that you used to ruin someone's life when you're basically no one. The days when Runch Randa was living his life as a selfish and hypocrite guy!”

Namjoon mouth agape at the mentioned of his past but he didn’t have any clue of what’s Sukhoon is referring to. And why does the new manager was talking about Runch Randa? He hasn’t used that name after he had joined BigHit. Which part of his past that he’s referring to? Namjoon becomes more confused.

“Maybe it’s the right time for you to walk down on a memory lane, Namjoon-ssi. You’ll find the answer you’re looking for, ” says Sukhoon vehemently before he took his leave.

Namjoon was left aghast at his last word. His mind starts to work with double speed, trying to trace the memory of his past. As much as Namjoon was thinking, he still couldn’t find anything suspicious about his past.

If everything happened linked to his past, who is Sukhoon actually?

 


 


“Are you fucking kidding me, hyung??!!” Jimin cursed as he runs his slender fingers through his hair in frustration. He then slammed the piece of paper to the table.

“Jimin, calm down. Listen to his explanation first, ” reprimand Seokjin. He then looks at Namjoon, obviously shocked at Jimin's harsh tone just now. He can see how Namjoon's body curled inward to make him looks smaller. A habit whenever he feels guilty or scared.

“Jin-hyung, what’s explanation are you talking about? Isn’t that obvious? We had to do rehearsal once we touched down. That’s ridiculous! We had a long flight, barely had a good rest and our muscles will be so tight – we can’t even dance properly!” says Taehyung with anger.

“We always had at least two days break whenever we had traveled back to Korea. What’s this rehearsal about? Are we even fit to do that? I bet we are going to collapse within a half-hour of practice!” adds Jungkook as he agreed with Jimin and Taehyung.

Hoseok let out a small grunt listening to the maknae, didn’t agree with how they talk to Namjoon. He stares at Namjoon and he was in distress. He can see how he was frowning and gritting his teeth.

“Joon? Do you care to explain this to us? Why did you agree with the rehearsal?” asked Hoseok. He wants to hear from Namjoon first before he decided whether to get angry or to understand his situation.

Namjoon fiddles with his fingers, feeling anxious as he can feel the sharp eyes of his members. He took a deep breath before he starts to speak with his shaken voice.

“It’s a last minute arrangement and – and the company wants us to do some changes in our choreography. Seungduk-nim had add on the – the traditional elements in Idol so – so –“

“So what? I’ve seen the practice video and the new routine was so grand and complicated. I don’t think we can master the new choreography within two days. That’s absurd!” protests Jimin.

“Jimin hold your temper, please! Let’s discuss this like an adult!” sneered Yoongi, disliking Jimin's rude attitude.

Jimin huffed in annoyance. He had all the reason to act this way. Jimin was surprised when he saw the video send by their performance director. The new traditional element in the dance was unique and beautiful but Jimin knows it's hard to do it within two days before the award show.

Even though he was ecstatic to dance to the new movement, Jimin realized that his body won’t be able to take such strenuous practice.  Not after long hours traveling by plane. They might be resting along the journey but still, it wasn’t the same as sleeping on the bed.

Namjoon flickered his eyes towards Jimin and his heart sunk when he saw the frustration on Jimin's face. He realized that no one was happy with the company's decision about the rehearsal schedule. He understands the concern of his members but as much as he wanted to protest about it, Namjoon just can’t.

Namjoon didn’t know what to do to solve this problem. He knew the members weren’t happy with the situation. They were upset about the short notice. They already tired with the non-stop interviews and shows in the US. Their bodies need a proper rest before they can resume back to their activities. Namjoon feels guilty for unable to do such a small thing for his bandmates.

Namjoon wasn’t sure if the company will give them the break at this moment. If he is going to discuss this matter with Bang PD, Namjoon couldn’t give a guarantee that the said male will agree to let them had a rest at least for one day. The management and the back-up dancers were waiting for them, with all the preparation.

But they need a break, right? As a leader, what can he do to tackle the issue? As a leader, what can he do for his bandmates and at the same time he won’t become the disappointment of the company?

“Joon-ah…”

Namjoon flinched when Seokjin tapped on his hand. He let out a shuddering breath, feeling tired handling all this conversation. They need to go to the airport within two hours. Having this small meeting in his hotel room before their take-off makes everyone feels distressed. But he wants to inform his bandmate the bad news before they're heading to the airport. He wants everyone to take a good rest in the plane. Seems he had made a bad decision.

“Can't you talk to Seungduk-nim about this? E-mail him that we need at least a day to rest before we proceed with the rehearsal. I’m concerned about Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok since they got the most part of the new cheoreo… I don’t think they can dance well if they were less energetic…” said Seokjin. He was trying to help Namjoon since the leader looks really affected by the member's wrath.

Namjoon rubbed his tired face before he turns his eyes to his members – one by one. Their faces evidently showed their emotion. Rage, disappointment, frustration and maybe hatred? His heart clenched at the thought that his bandmates might be hating him for failing to do something for their sake.

“I – I’ll try hyung. I’ll talk to Seungduk-nim…” decides Namjoon. And he can hear the relief sighed emits by his members. “All of you can – can pack your luggage. We will meet at the lobby in one hour…” he said.

None of his members said anything before they left his room. Except the three eldest who had given him a warm pat on his shoulder. He flashed a weak smile as an assurance that he’s fine and nothing to worry about. His head starts to throb at all the emotional stress.

He massaged his temple to reduce the shooting pain. He didn’t know whether it’s a simple headache or he’s getting a migraine attack. He didn’t feel too good right now. But he had some work to do and it wasn’t something he can't delay.

As much as to his dismay, Namjoon took his phone and search for Seungduk's number before he pressed the green icon. He waits for the line to get connected, getting ready to discuss the issue with the said male. He hopes it’s going to be solved amicably. However, Namjoon didn’t know that everything will start spiraling too soon.

Jimin was waiting for the hyung line at the lobby – together with Taehyung and Jungkook. They were still affected by the news but trying to act calm in front of the public. However, it was short-lived glory when Sukhoon came and approached the three with a smirk on his face. Obviously conspiring something.

"Well are you ready to go home!” he asked with his façade smile and voice.

The three were giving him a small smile without answering because they were too engulf with the discussion with the leader before. Sukhoon eye glared at the three when they ignored him and keeps on playing their phone.

“I heard about the rehearsal…” he says, fishing the attention of the three. Which was a total success when the three turned their head simultaneously.

Sukhoon analyzes the expression and he discretely smiles in joy when he can see the unhappy face of the three. He had expected this to happen. “Well, I never thought that Namjoon-ssi will agree to do this despite you’re going to be tired once you arrive at the airport…” he lies smoothly.

Jimin snapped his head to the new manager, eyes were lit with fire. He grits his teeth as his grip on his phone tightened. “What – what do you mean by that?” he asked.

Taehyung and Jungkook had the same expression while they gawk at the manager – waiting for his answer.

“Well, when Seungduk asked Namjoon whether all of you can do the rehearsal right away, he agreed in a second. I had asked him to discuss this with all of you first before deciding that by himself. But – “ Sukhoon halted and his eyes hovered on the three maknae of the BTS. He purposely did it and he knew one of them will be enraged at the false information.

“But what Sukhoon-ssi??” asked Jungkook with a strained voice.

Sukhoon exasperatedly sighed. “But he said he is the leader so he has the right to decide on your behalf…”

Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung gasped at the statement – looking at Sukhoon begrudgingly. They can’t believe that Namjoon had said that to Sukhoon. Despite him being the leader of BTS, he has no right whatsoever to decide everything for the members. They always had a discussion before taking any step in doing something.

“I think maybe he agreed to that because the new dance doesn’t concern him so much. Well, since Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok will do the most part of it,” Sukhoon adds another fuel into the fire as it’s blaring furiously.

“I – I can’t believe he said that! That – that –“

“Believe it or not, he did, Jimin. And you will be shocked to hear what he had said about something else too!” cuts Taehyung venomously. He looks really pissed off that he was ready to spill what had happened to him and Jungkook.

Jimin frowned in confusion as he stares back at Taehyung and Jungkook. Both of them looks so solemn and Jimin couldn’t wait to hear their side of the story.

“What is it??”

And Sukhoon smirks evilly while looking at the three. His vicious plan starts to work out like he had been planning. He smiles in victory when he saw the wrath and hatred of the younger’s faces.  

It’s a second strike, Namjoon!

 





Chapter Text

 


 

 

Largo. The Nexist. Stealo. Runch Randa.

These used to be his names when he was an underground rapper – before he debuts as Rap Monster of BTS; later be known as RM. He meets with lots of people from the underground scene, making friends and alliance.

Zico, Supreme Boi, Kyum2 and Marvel J. But unknown to the world, he also has two best friends that he met when he was fifteen – the year when he first starts to rap seriously.

Seungwoon and Hakyon.

They shared the same dream and ambition. To rock the world of hip-hop with their raps. They were very enthusiast to show their talent and their insight as a rapper. They want to show through the music that they can change the world. They want to talk to the society through their music and indigenous lyrics.

Namjoon, Seungwoon, and Hakyon vow their friendship – to stay as friends forever, fighting for their dream and aspiration. Namjoon will sneak out from his house during midnight, riding his bicycle through the darkness to meet with his two best friends at the junction of the road – going to the underground club for a rap battle.

It doesn’t matter who win or lose in the battle. For the three, they just want to be able to appease their needs to lash out their emotions about their life – happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. They rejoiced to be in the club, experimenting with strangers that had the same passion with them. They make lots of acquaintances and their music evolved in a better way.

“Do you think we’re going to be a successful rapper, Namjoonie?”

Namjoon turned his head towards Seungwoon, looking at him with his brightest smile ever. “Of course Woonie-ah. We will make sure the world listen to our voice!” he answered with passion.

Hakyon nods his head in agreement with Namjoon's words. He pats on Seungwoon’s shoulder. “I’m positive that we will be popular one day!” he added.

Seungwoon smiles at his two bestfriends. “I really love hip hop. I want to be a well-known rapper and gain reputation worldwide…”

“Then, you need to be an idol Woonie!” said Hakyon with a wide grin.

Seungwoon scoffed at Hakyon. “Yah, I’m not going to do that thing, Hakyon! I’m not fit to be an idol. Doing those cute act and dancing until you pees on your pants! That’s not my cup of tea!” refute Seungwoon, making a funny face to show his discontentment about the idea of being an idol.

A hip-hopper is not an idol. It doesn't go with the image  - tough, rude and rough. Hip hop works on the underground scene, dissing each other while battling but with no hatred whatsoever. It's the art of real hip hop.

Meanwhile being a rapper in an idol group is considered as mainstream. The function of the rapper is limited to suit with the image as an idol. The raps should be clean and positive. The creativity will be impeded to suit the industry.

Namjoon and Hakyon laughed out loud at the answer. Agreed with Seungwoon, Namjoon couldn’t decipher his life if he is an idol. Not to depreciate himself, but he didn’t have the package to be one. The looks, dancing skill, and the firm muscles.

He might be doing a great job with his rapping ability but he’s suck in dancing. As if, he has two left feet. He’ll look like a jellyfish swimming under the sea if he ever tries to dance.

Please, don’t make him to!

“Do you dreams of being an idol Hakyon-ah?” asked Seungwoon with an accusatory tone as his eyes fixated on his friend.

Hakyon almost choked his bread, fisting his chest to make sure it won’t be stuck on his throat and hastily sipped his coke. His eyes were glazed with tears. “What the?! Of course not Woonie! You know that we had vowed to stick together as hip-hopper till the end of the world! No one can break the promise. If not you shall be punished!”

Seungwoon bawled his eyes at the mentioned of their vows. It’s ridiculous actually but at the same time, it feels significant. They were young and energetic. Of course, they were excited to have an extraordinary pledge to unify their friendship.

“First, we live as a friend and die as a friend,” states Hakyon while he wiggled his brows comically.

“Second, hip-hop is the reason to live and the reason to die, ” adds Seungwoon as his lips curves into a smile.

“Third, our dreams are a dream together. One's failed, everyone's failed, ” Namjoon speaks next.

Seungwoon and Hakyon look at Namjoon with a bright smile and Namjoon reciprocate with the same. Together, they said their last vow – loud and solemnly.

“Fourth, we are the voices of each other!!”

 


 

Namjoon gasped out loud as he jerked from his night sleep. Namjoon squinted his eyes when the bright light attacks his orbs. He plops himself with his elbow, looking around his room with confusion. He turns to the side to see the clock - 4.35 a.m.

It’s only been half an hour he had gone to sleep. Namjoon rubbed his face harshly and then he realized that his white shirt was saline-soaked with sweat. He scrunched his nose, feeling gross and the shirt glued to his body. Namjoon winced when a dull pain suddenly spasms on the left side of his head. He groaned when he thinks that he might be having another migraine.

With that thought, Namjoon breathed out a heavy sighed. His whole body feels sore after last night performance. Everyone was extremely affected with the new choreography, almost losing their composure on the stage out of fatigue. Namjoon didn’t know how they had been holding up with the strenuous routine but they just did. But, it’s worth every sweats because everyone enjoyed it so much. 

Maybe that’s the reason why everyone wasn’t talking while in the car – heading back to the dorm. They were too weary, the energy was drained and they just want to go back home and sleep. Everyone just steered towards the room to have a good rest.

Namjoon sighed again. He was exhausted but he can’t go back to sleep anymore. It’s always been difficult for him to do that after having a nightmare. Namjoon frowned as he recalled the dream. It’s been a long time since he’s been dreaming about Seungwoon and Hakyon.

Namjoon lift up both of his hands, stretching his fingers and he can see how his hand was shaking. He didn’t feel good at all. He starts to feel nauseous out of sudden and his stomach was churning oddly. Namjoon tilted his head to the side and notice that Taehyung is not on his bed. It was neat and clean as if the younger didn’t come here at all last night.

Namjoon brushes his damp hair as he let out a soft ‘eww’ when his hair was wet and damp. He sighed in frustration thinking that everything goes really wrong for him these days.

He was on a silent treatment by the maknae line. Neither Taehyung, Jungkook or Jimin were talking to him. He didn’t know what’s wrong but they were obviously furious. Especially Jimin.

Of course, Namjoon managed to convince Sungdeuk to give them one day break before they start the rehearsal. At least, they were able to go through the dance routine better with a little bit energetic. Namjoon feels really awful to see how diligent Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok were practicing the new intro. It’s hard and complicated but being a good dancer, all of them managed to master it in a blink.

They have another three days break before they need to resume back their schedule. Namjoon aims to take this opportunity to have a talk with Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin. He will apologize for his mistakes and explained the true story to the three. He prays that the three will understand and forgives him afterward.

Namjoon didn’t know for how long he had been having the deep thought of everything. When he glanced at the clock, it’s already seven in the morning. That’s why he heard some noise from the outside. Maybe Seokjin is in the kitchen preparing breakfast for them.

Namjoon gets down from his bed and walked to the bathroom for a shower. He really needs to freshen up. The headache is killing him and he needs a painkiller for it.

“Morning, hyung!” greets Namjoon with his weak voice as he pulled out the chair and sits on it.

Seokjin turned to see Namjoon and instantly frowned when he saw Namjoon rested his head on the table. “Joon? Are you okay?” he asked in concern.

Namjoon just shakes his head. “Headache.”

Seokjin sighed as he heard the strained voice of the younger. Seokjin turns off the stove and approached Namjoon slowly. “I’ll give you the medicine and just rest after you eat breakfast…”

Namjoon hummed. A few minutes later he heard a few noises and footstep on the hallway before the used to be peaceful kitchen turns wild with everyone was talking endlessly. Namjoon groaned as the throb become more prominent.

Namjoon straightened his body and stared at his members – now gathered around the table. They look so fresh and vibrant. It appears that they have a good sleep last night. Namjoon is pleased that they were able to enjoy the break meaningfully.

“Did you ever sleep, Joon-ah?” questioned Yoongi when he saw Namjoon's darken eye bag and his pale face. Everyone had their attention to the leader as they heard Yoongi's voice.

Namjoon flashed a weak smile. “Half an hour. I guess. I’m not sure…” he answered vaguely. Actually, he just lost count of the time.

Yoongi frowned deeper. “Why are you staying up late? You need to take care of yourself Joon.”

Namjoon sighed and rubbed his tired face. “I – I have a discussion with our producer over the phone last night. And I need to finish the songs for our next album. So –“

“You works too hard, Namjoon…” cuts Hoseok. He didn’t like how Namjoon been stressing himself like this. The younger barely rest and have been doing triple works than the other members. He didn’t know how Namjoon was able to deal with the pressure alone.

“It’s my job as a leader. I didn’t want to drag the whole team down with my incompetence. You know how everyone had their eyes on us now, right? A single mistake will cost us, ” explained Namjoon seriously.

“But still you need the rest too, Namjoon. It won’t help you if you fell sick while you’re working, ” retort Seokjin unhappy to hear that from the leader.

Namjoon sighed as everyone is against him right now. He won’t win the argument. There’s no use to prolong the conversation. In fact, Namjoon didn’t have the strength to do so too.

Seokjin sets the plate in front of Namjoon where the younger blankly stares at the fried kimchi rice. There’s no hint that he was interested in the food. Seokjin furrowed at the silence.

“What’s wrong? Do you want anything else?”

Namjoon flinched at the question before he wiggled his head. “No – I’m just – don’t have the appetite to eat, ” he said.

Seokjin clicked his tongue at the answer. “Eat that young man. You need decent food before you can take the medicine…”

Namjoon's body sagged at the order before he lazily digs in the meal. However, when he tried to eat up the rice – Namjoon wanted to throw up. He grimaced when his stomach makes a summersault and grumbled oddly. He forcefully devours the food and pushed his plate away on the third attempt. He ignored the quizzical look of Hoseok and Yoongi before he chugged the painkiller and drink the whole glass of orange juice.

“Are you done??” Seokjin asked with shocked. He peeked at Namjoon's plate and notice that Namjoon barely touched his food.

“I’m going to take a nap for a couple of hours. Please wake me up at twelve, hyung.”

Seokjin fretted. “Why?”

Namjoon rubbed his sleepy eyes with his paw and let out a small yawn. “I have a meeting with the producers at one.”

Everyone was stunned to hear that from Namjoon and obviously displeased to know that Namjoon still needs to work during their break.

“Wait! What?? A meeting?? Yah Namjoon! This is our break time, how could they ask you to go for a meeting? You need the rest like we do, Namjoon. This is ridiculous!” gushed Yoongi, emotionally exasperated knowing that while the rest will be staying at the dorm, Namjoon needs to go to the company for a meeting.

Namjoon just smiles at the male before he gets up from the chair. “I’m the leader, this is what I do…” he said and just left everyone dumbfounded at his words.

Yoongi sighed and exchanged the stares with Seokjin and Hoseok. Meanwhile, the youngest was too engulfed in their own world – eating breakfast in silence. But deep down inside their heart, they feel apologetic and remorseful for treating Namjoon bitterly for the past few days.

Jimin noticed how desperate Namjoon was when they arrived at the airport. He had an emergency meeting with Sungdeuk, discussing their rehearsal before the performance director agreed to give them some spare time to rest. Which Jimin didn’t have the chance to say thank you to the leader because of the tight schedule.

But at the same time, he feels bitter when he heard the story from Taehyung and Jungkook. It’s hard to believe that Namjoon feels that way about the members. He was trying to be more rationale since Taehyung and Jungkook were really frustrated with the situation. He’s going to ask Namjoon about it later.

 


 

“You seems really close to him…”

Namjoon frowned and looks at Seungwoon with a quizzical look. “Him? Who?”

Seungwoon chided. “You know who. Zico.”

Namjoon didn’t understand the reason why Seungwoon sounded so vicious when he mentioned about Zico. He met with Zico when he performed in one underground showcase. Namjoon is a fan of him. He had been heard about Zico and his skillful rap when he starts to involve in the underground scene.

Zico is really a nice man and Namjoon considered him as his brother and inspiration. He learns a lot from the male. It’s really good for him to expand his own experience and being more creative with his rap and how to write a better song.

“Is there any problem with that? Jiho-hyung being really helpful to me, ” Namjoon said.

Seungwoon groaned at the answer. Disliking the fact that Namjoon had been calling Zico by his real name. It shows that their relationship is really intimate. “I heard about the audition at the Big Deal Records. Are you going then?” he further asked.

Namjoon frowned again. “What’s wrong with that?” Namjoon still couldn’t decipher the reason why Seungwoon been asking these kinds of questions to him.

“You seems interested. That’s why!” he retorts, voice rising a little bit.

Namjoon stares at his bestfriend. His face was sullen and he looks like he didn’t like the news. “Woonie, do you think I’ll go to the audition by myself?” he inquires.

Seungwoon shrugged. “Well, you didn’t say anything about it to me or Hakyon. I don’t know what is your plan.”

Namjoon sighed. He then wrapped his arm around Seungwoon's shoulder and pressed his body closer. “You’re my best friend Woonie. Hakyon too. You know I’m not going to leave you two. We are doing this together.”

Seungwoon flashed a weak smile at the statement, glanced at Namjoon for a second. “I’m sorry for being an asshole!” he said remorsefully.  Feeling guilty for doubting Namjoon's intention.  He should’ve known that Namjoon will never betray his friends.

Namjoon chuckles. “It’s okay. Do you remember our third vow?”

Seungwoon nods and smiles meaningfully at Namjoon.

“Our dreams are a dream together. One's failed, everyone's failed, ” Namjoon and Seungwoon recited the vow in unison. Both were laughing afterward. Feeling giddy at their own stunt.

Seungwoon than pulled Namjoon's body into a tight embrace as Namjoon happily reciprocates it in joy. Namjoon feels at ease that Seungwoon didn’t sulk for a long time. In fact, they never fought with each other. They understand everyone’s mind and no secret between them.

If they had a different opinion and been arguing about it, they always trying to find the resolution to that. No one shall leave until they came into an agreement. This is how they cherished their friendship.

“You lied!!!”

Namjoon yelped in shocked when Seungwoon pushed him to the back harshly. Namjoon stumbles a few steps backward and looks at Seungwoon with widening eyes.

“Woonie-ah? What’s wrong?”

Seungwoon gritted his teeth in hostility. His eyes were red as he scowled at Namjoon. “You left us Namjoon! You left us! You left us!”

Namjoon didn’t have the time to comprehend what does it mean when Seungwoon lurched forward and Namjoon gasped in horror when a knife buried deep in his abdomen.

Seungwoon then violently pulled out the knife and Namjoon's blood spattered on Seungwoon's face. He grimaced as his nostril can smell the metallic scent of the blood. 

“You’re not our friends anymore, Namjoon. You left us!!”

Namjoon screamed out loud when Seungwoon try to stab him in the chest. Namjoon feels his body fall to the back in slow motion. And when his body landed on the hard ground, he instantly jerked up.

It's another dream. Namjoon is wheezing a little bit as he tried to catch his breath. Namjoon looks around and notices that he’s still in his room, now sweating on his bed.

Namjoon lifted his hand and he can see how it’s shaking terribly. His heart almost jumped out from his ribcage. It feels so real. He reached his abdomen and cringed when his skin comes into contact with his drenched shirt.

The throbbing pain on his head had been torturing him non-stop. Even after taking the medicine and had a nap, the pain is still there. He winced when he tried to stand up. He slumps back to the mattress when he had the vertigo effect. The room is spinning and he can taste the bile inside his mouth.

Namjoon massaged his temple to soothe the pain. While waiting for his body to recover from the dizziness, he thought back to the dream he had earlier.  It's weird.

Why did he dream about Seungwoon? Why does his past suddenly surfaced like this? What does it mean? 

 





Chapter Text

 


 

Namjoon was drained at the end of the day. The meeting with the producers taking up almost three hours before he went to the studio and let them listened to the raw music he had been composing for their upcoming album. And another two hours past in a blink while he rearranged the lyrics and music. 

When Sejin dropped him at the dorm, it’s already dark and Namjoon didn’t even have the energy to say a simple ‘bye' to Sejin. Sejin just gives him a tender smile and asked him to get a good rest at the dorm. 

Despite his muscles feel sore, he couldn’t stop his brain from working at a high speed. He can hear the gear of his brain, rolling and rolling – reckoning over what he hasn’t yet to do. The song, the dance, the schedules, the meeting, and the list keeps going on and on – there’s no end to it. Namjoon winced when another dull pain spasms his head. 

He had been taking four painkillers for the last five hours because of the headache. It’s only a temporary solution to his problem and now it comes back to taunt him. He groaned because he feels the world spun around him. His stomach grumbles out loud, churning wildly. He then recalled that he didn’t eat yet for lunch. And now it’s already dinner time. 

Namjoon sighed before he entered the dorm. He dragged his heavy feet to the living room where he can hear the noise of his members were making while watching the television. Through his warm and blurry eyes, he notices everyone was there; happily chatting with each other leisurely. 

“Joon, you’re back!” 

Namjoon grimaced at the brisk voice as it makes his headache become stronger. He then looks at Hoseok, now ogling at him from the couch. The rest were peeking at him too. Namjoon is aware of the sullen faces of the maknae but tries to ignore it. He didn’t have the strength to deal with it right now. 

“Have you eat, Joon?” interrogates Seokjin when he had his eyes on Namjoon. 

Namjoon shook his head as the answer and he can hear how the eldest gasped. He didn't need to lie for Seokjin to learn that he'd skipped the lunch. Seokjin just knows. 

“What? They don’t even order any food for the meeting??” retorts Seokjin with incredulity. 

Namjoon massaged his temple. There’s something jabbing inside his head. Like someone had punctured the needle over his skull over and over again. Namjoon hissed in pain. 

“No – no hyung. They did but I don’t have the appetite…” Namjoon answered with his low and weak voice. 

“You don’t even eat your breakfast Joon-ah, ” notes Seokjin with his motherly voice, looking at Namjoon with concern. He gets up from the couch and moving towards the leader. “Come, I’ve left the dinner for you, just need to reheat it for a few minutes.” 

Seokjin didn’t even wait for Namjoon to respond as he creeps his hand around Namjoon's arm and hauled the exhausted leader to the dining table. He notices the tired face and how he keeps grimacing and rubbing his temple. 

Seokjin glanced over Yoongi at the living room, giving an eye signal for him to join them at the table. Yoongi nods as he can see the tense radiating from the two. Seokjin makes Namjoon settles on the chair, leaving him alone with Yoongi before he took out the food from the fridge and put it in the microwave. 

“Joon?” Yoongi taps on Namjoon's hand that lay on the table. 

Namjoon startled a little bit since he almost dozing off while sitting. He cocked his head to meet with Yoongi's concern face before he flashed a weak smile. He rubs his sleepy eyes and yawned. “I’m sleepy, hyung, ” he said in a slurred speech. 

Yoongi raised his brows. “You need to eat first, okay?” he coaxed the younger. 

Namjoon whined and pouted his lips cutely. Yoongi chuckles and realized that Namjoon almost slipped into little space. He ruffled the hair of the younger fondly, making Namjoon lean forward for the touch. 

“Just wait for a little bit, okay, Joonie?” said Yoongi, deliberately called his nickname ‘Joonie’, attempted to make Namjoon regress further. 

Namjoon is too tired to protest so he just bobs his head. He looks at Yoongi through his doe eyes and he sheepishly smiles. “Eat – eat first, then sleep, ” he said with his feeble voice, slowly slipping into the headspace. 

Yoongi chuckles. “Good boy!” he praised the little and instantly smirked when he saw how Namjoon’s cheek turns into the tinge of pink. Namjoon then took Yoongi's small hand, playing with his fingers one by one while muttering something inaudible, blabbering incoherently. 

Yoongi let the younger to do whatever he likes and he slowly turns his body to see Seokjin. He whisper-yelled at the elder before Seokjin scowled at his interruption.
Yoongi mouthed ‘sippy cup' at him and pointed out at Namjoon through his mouth. 

Seokjin fretted before he peeked over Namjoon and instantly smile when he saw how Namjoon was giggling while fiddling with Yoongi's fingers.  He didn't know what's so funny about Yoongi's slender fingers but Namjoon looks so pleased while playing with it. 

Seokjin put the bowl of rice and chicken soup in front of Namjoon and his sippy cup on the side. Namjoon's eyes twinkled when he saw his Ryan cup, quickly grabbed it and drink the banana milk recklessly - spilling some to his chin.  

“Slowly baby. No one will take it from you, ” said Seokjin with a gentle smile and sits beside Yoongi. 

Namjoon stares at his food before he heaved to look at his two caregivers. “Can – can Joonie haf – haf nugget?” he asked timidly. He scrunched his nose when his eyes on his food again. Didn’t like what’s been set in front of him. In little space, he preferred nugget more than anything else. By hook or by crook. 

Seokjin sighed and gives Yoongi a meaningful glare. Yoongi beckon over Seokjin to deal with little Namjoon. Seokjin snorted in annoyance at the shift of responsibility. But everyone knows only Seokjin is able to deal with Namjoon’s stubbornness about his choice of food in little space. 

“You didn’t have a proper meal today so appa wants you to eat decent food, ” told Seokjin, voice so sweet and soft. 

Namjoon pouted. “Joonie wike nugget mowe appa,” he whined. 

Seokjin huffed. “Okay, I’ll give you the nugget if you finish the meal…” bargain Seokjin. He didn’t have the heart to argue with Namjoon when he can see his tired face. It’s a treat he can give to Namjoon for his hard works today. 

Namjoon eyes widen in joy as he beamed at his appa. He didn’t take too long before he gobbles the food, spilling the rice on the table due to his clumsiness. But Seokjin didn’t say anything and let the little to enjoy his food. He's a messy eater and Seokjin had used to it by now. 

“Don’t you think he looks so stress for the past few days?” Yoongi whispered to Seokjin while both of them watching Namjoon devours his food. 

Seokjin nods with a big sigh. “I think the workload is too much for him to endure. And it’s been a while that he didn’t regress into little space.” 

Yoongi hummed. “We were too busy with tours and shows all over the world. He can’t be a little with all the hectic schedules, ” he added. 

“And I think there’s something wrong with the maknae, ” cited Seokjin. 

Yoongi arched his brows at the statement, staring at Seokjin for further explanation. 

“I notice that Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t speak to Namjoon for a while. I don’t know what’s wrong with the two but they were ignoring Namjoon. And Jimin was frustrated about the rehearsal but I guess he had come to his sense a little bit, ” unraveled Seokjin while his eyes glancing at the youngest members once a while. 

Yoongi sneered at the explanation. “Did Namjoon say anything about it?” 

Seokjin shook his head. “Nothing. But I did ask Hoseok and he said Namjoon will settle the problem by himself. He said there was misunderstanding but didn’t clarify what kind of misunderstanding.” 

Yoongi let out a sigh. He didn’t aware of the crisis between Namjoon and the two maknae. And he was a little bit dishearten that Namjoon didn’t seek him out for a solution. Usually, Namjoon will come to him if there’s any problem. They will discuss it and try to find the remedy together. 

“I’ll ask him about it later…” Yoongi decides and Seokjin nods in agreement. 


 

Namjoon looks at his two friends in frustration after they'd failed on the second round audition at the Big Deal Records. Namjoon blames himself for the failure and he feels absolute guilty towards Seungwoon and Hakyon. He was too nervous and when it’s his turn to rap, he forgot all the lyrics. 

“Sorry guys,” muttered Namjoon for the umpteenth times after they get out from the audition hall. He hides his head in between of his hands, crouching down in shame. 

Hakyon pats on his back to alleviate Namjoon's distress. “It’s okay Namjoonie. We can try again later…” he coaxed his friend. Hakyon then flicked his eyes towards Seungwoon, begging the said male to say something to Namjoon. 

Seungwoon sighed before he took the seat on the other side. “Hey, Namjoon. No need to be sad. This is our first time doing something like this. Of course, we can’t expect to get through on the first try right? We can try again until we succeed, you know,” said Seungwoon. 

Namjoon huffed before he lifted up his head and turn to look at his friends on both sides. “But I forgot the lyric. It’s my fault that you two –” 

“It's okay. This is our first experience and we were nervous all day long. We tend to make mistake so there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Hakyon continue to cajole the male. His hand caressing Namjoon's back to de-stress his tense muscle. 

“But –”

“Hakyon's right, Namjoon. We just need to be more prepared in the future. No need to stress out yourself. This can be our turning point to be a better rapper. You know what they said, the greatest trial will become the greatest triumph!” cuts Seungwoon, abstaining Namjoon from self-deprecating himself further. 

Namjoon flared a weak smile at the words. “That’s a nice word, Woon-ah. You can be a good counselor, ” he teases. 

Seungwoon and Hakyon chuckle at Namjoon's statement and appeased that Namjoon is feeling better than before. They both pats on Namjoon's back, giving him the strength to encounter another hurdle in their life. 

Namjoon, Seungwoon, and Hakyon were about to leave the place when someone had been calling Namjoon from afar. The three turned their bodies simultaneously and frowned when they saw a stranger sprinting towards them. 

“Kim Namjoon-ssi!” the stranger called while panting. He looks worn out after been running for the three, bending while both of his hand on the knees – catching for breath. 

Namjoon took a step forward with a frown obviously seen on his forehead. “Yes?” 

The stranger grinned and he shoved his hand for a handshake. “I’m Sleepy, ” he said. 

Namjoon bites his lips. “And why did you tell me if you were sleepy?” 

The male let out a boisterous laugh and his voice echoed in the hallway. Namjoon huffed at the whimsical laugh and trades a curious gaze with his two other friends. Seungwoon and Hakyon shrugs their shoulder – couldn’t understand why the male is laughing. 

The stranger wipes the tears due to laughing too much as his laughter subsides. “You’re a funny young boy!” He notes with a fond smile. “Well, I’m Kim Sungwon, also known as Sleepy from the duo Untouchable. Sleepy is my stage name.” 

The three gasped in panicked before they bowed at the stranger rapidly. “Sorry, we didn’t recognize you!!” shrieked the three in horror. 

They were mortified that they failed to recognize Sleepy as one of the popular rappers in his casual attire. They also blame themselves for being too overwhelmed with their own emotion that they didn’t notice a famous rapper is standing in front of them. 

Sleepy laughed at the three's humorous attitudes. “Nah, I’m fine. I’m glad that I can catch up on you guys!” he said while he smiles genuinely. 

“Do – do you need anything from us, sunbae?” asked Namjoon politely. 

Sleepy nods. “You!” he pointed at Namjoon firmly. 

Namjoon frowned in confusion as he pointed at himself. “Me? Why?” 

“Aren’t you the one with the moniker Runch Randa, Kim Namjoon-ssi?” Sleepy inquire for clarification. 

Namjoon nods as a definite answer. “Yes, I’m Runch Randa.” 

Sleepy clapped his hand with joy. “Yes, I got the right person. Well, I’ve listened to a few tracks of yours, especially the one that you collaborated with Zico and I like your style young boy!” he states joyfully. 

Namjoon sheepishly grins at the praise, running his hand at the back of his neck as he feels shy that Sleepy had listened to his tracks. At the same time, he is grateful that Sleepy had acknowledged his talent as a rapper. 

“Thank you,” says Namjoon. 

Sleepy chuckles at the nervous response. He then gives Namjoon his name card and asked for Namjoon’s contact information for an exchange. 

“I'll call you, Runch Randa, ” said Sleepy. 

Namjoon smiles. “You can call me, Namjoon, sunbae!” 

Sleepy nods his head and left the three when someone had called him. The three watched Sleepy walked back into the building until his body disappeared behind the wall. Namjoon then stares at the name card, almost combust with happiness. 

“He – he gives me his name card!” Namjoon cried and looks at his two friends bewildered. He holds the card in front of the two and his feet were bouncing. He was too enthusiastic. 

Hakyon smiled. “Yes! Finally, someone appreciates our talent, Namjoonie!!” he screamed and starts to bounce together with Namjoon childishly. 

Seungwoon clicked his tongue at the two. “But he seems interested with Namjoon only,” he blurted out bitterly. 

Hakyon and Namjoon stop dancing like a fool and looked at Seungwoon who had a grumpy face. He didn’t look so happy like the two. 

“Why are you saying like that, Woonie?” Hakyon gushed with a gruff voice. 

Seungwoon rolled his eyes in hostility. “Can’t you see just now? He only talks about Runch Randa. Not Snapper and not even you, Kyu,” alleged Seungwoon. 

Hakyon sighed at Seungwoon little tantrum. He couldn’t comprehend Seungwoon's attitude sometimes. He was too hostile and easily triggered over something trivial. He always found a negative way on everything and constantly makes a snarky remark to hurt someone's feeling. 

“Why are you behaving so bitter, Woon-ah?” Hakyon implored with his low voice as he didn’t want to agitate sensitive Seungwoon further. 

Seungwoon startled at the remark, glaring at Hakyon with rage. “Bitter? Are you trying to say that I’m jealous of Namjoon?” he snarled at the male. 

“Guys,” Namjoon feels entangled in between of his two best friends. Didn’t like how their happy moment had turned into something vicious like this. 

Seungwoon snapped his head towards Namjoon. “Do you feel the same, Namjoon?” he asked with an accusatory tone. 

Namjoon quickly shakes his head to deny the allegation. “No – no Woon-ah. I never thought of such way. You’re my best friend. I know you never had any ill-feeling towards me or Hakyon, ” denied Namjoon. He didn’t want Seungwoon to misjudge him. Or Hakyon himself. 

Seungwoon then gawked at Hakyon with his angry eyes. “See? Namjoon didn’t think like that at all. You're being prejudice against me, Hakyon!” 

Hakyon groaned at the childish response.  “You should listen to yourself, Seungwoon. How you sounded when you said about Namjoon and Sleepy-sunbae. You are the one that says he is interested in Namjoon only!” deciphered Hakyon. 

Seungwoon grits his teeth. “Am I wrong for saying that? You can see by yourself that Sleepy only gives the card to Namjoon. He emphasized Runch Randa and how he’ll call Namjoon later. He didn’t even look at us for once when he said that. Are you deaf? Blind?” spats Seungwoon venomously. 

“Guys, I don’t think this is the right place for us to argue,” cuts Namjoon as he feels uncomfortable when everyone nearby was looking at them. Especially when Seungwoon's voice rising on each word. 

Hakyon chided. “Seungwoon acting like a pussy!” he said with irritation. 

“Then don't be a pussy like me!!” Seungwoon shouted at Hakyon before he left Namjoon and Hakyon. The two was dumbfounded to watch how Seungwoon ran out from the building, ignoring how Namjoon has been calling his name. 

Hakyon grabbed on Namjoon's forearm when the said male wanted to run after Seungwoon. Hakyon shakes his head as Namjoon looks at him. 

“Let him cool down first, then we can talk to him,” decides Hakyon. 

Namjoon shot up from the bed while panting heavily with a throbbing head. He was trembling and his Koya pajama was soaking wet with sweats. Namjoon scrunched his nose when he feels his whole body sticky as if he was taking the shower with his clothes on.

Another nightmare?


 

Namjoon looks around the still dark room. When he saw Taehyung’s bed was unoccupied, Namjoon pouted in disappointment. His lips quiver realizing he was awake with no one by his side. Tears start to puddle in his eyes and everything seems too stuffy for him.

Namjoon grabbed his Ryan plushy and pressed to his chest firmly. He then gets down from the bed and scurried away through the hallway. He squinted his eyes when the light from the sun stung over his orbs. He didn't remember how he went to his room last night. But he recalled how Yoongi and Seokjin had tucked him into the bed. 

Namjoon went to the kitchen and he saw Seokjin was busy stirring something on the stove.  “Ap – appa?” 

Seokjin squeaked like a little girl at the sudden interruption. He turned his body and eyes widen when he saw Namjoon blotchy face and red eyes. The male was about to cry as he hugged his Ryan to his chest. Seokjin assumes that Namjoon is in little space. 

“Baby? Why are you wakes up so early?” he asked softly. 

Namjoon jutted his lower lips. “Bad – bad dweam!” he said with his shaken voice. 

Seokjin swoon at the cuteness. “Aww, poor baby. Come and sit here…” Seokjin beckon over the younger to sit at the table.

Namjoon makes a beeline before he slumps on the chair lazily. Seokjin gives a quick kiss on Namjoon's crown before he continues to cook the breakfast. 

Namjoon huffed in annoyance when he still feels the tiredness all over his body. “Appa, Joonie wan – wan owange juice, pwease!” He requested. 

Seokjin smiles. “Okay. On your service, darling!” he said playfully, earning a cute giggle from the little Namjoon. 

“Morning guys!!” shouted Hoseok as he entered the kitchen while stretching his sore limbs and ended with an obnoxious yawn. 

“Mowning papa!!!” replied Namjoon with excitement when he saw Hoseok is still wearing his pajama. 

Hoseok cocked his head at Namjoon and run towards the little with the brightest smile he ever had. “Baby!!! Papa miss you so much!!!” he cried as he pinched Namjoon's chubby cheek. When Namjoon laughed at his silly antics, Hoseok quickly gives a peck on both of his cheeks. 

“Mowning kissie!!!” claimed Namjoon and gives Hoseok a chaste kiss on his cheek too. 

Hoseok laughed happily before he pulled the chair on Namjoon's side and sits with the younger. “Did he wakes up being little, hyung?” he asked Seokjin. 

Seokjin hummed. “Yeah. I think he’s being too stressed after the meeting yesterday. I and Yoongi thought of forcing him to be a little today so that we can help him to cope with the stress. But I’m glad that he had regressed naturally. It’s much better that way, ” explained Seokjin. 

Hoseok nods his head before averted his eyes to Namjoon. He chuckles when he saw Namjoon was sucking on his thumb sleepily, head bobbing back and forth adorably. Hoseok pulled away Namjoon's thumb and he immediately whines at the loss of the taste. 

“No baby. It’s dirty. I’ll get you the pacifier okay?” tells Hoseok when Namjoon almost burst into tears. 

Namjoon sniffs. “O – otay!” 

Hoseok smiles fondly at the younger, ruffling his messy bed hair before he went to a drawer in the kitchen. He took the blue Koya pacifier and put it in between of Namjoon lips smoothly. 

Namjoon grinned happily and leaned his head on Hoseok's shoulder as he closed his eyes. He can feel Hoseok's hand snaked around his waist and pulled his body closer so he can rest comfortably. Namjoon hummed at the warmth of Hoseok's body and it’s lulled his back to the dreamland. 

Since it's been a while Namjoon has been in a little space, his caregivers let him do whatever he likes for the day. Namjoon had been running around the dorm while making a buzzing sound. The pacifier was still intact to his lips and a cape made from the towel by Hoseok loosely hanging on his neck like a superman. 

“Slow down baby. We don’t want you to hurt yourself again!” reprimand Seokjin as he watched how energetic Namjoon is running around the couch. 

Namjoon stopped for a moment. “O – otay!” and he continues to bounce on his feet like a little bunny. He was singing with ambiguous lyrics, gargle like a baby when he can’t remember any words. 

“Jimin!” Seokjin shouted while he tries to wear his jacket and he can hear Jimin's small footstep across the hallway. “What are they doing in the room?!” he mumbled in irritation when the three maknae have been spending too much time in their respective room.

“Yes, hyung?” Jimin asked when he stands in front of Seokjin. 

“We’re going to do some groceries shopping and will drop by at the studio to gets something from there. So please take care of Joonie!” notified Seokjin. 

Jimin raised his brows as he looks at Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok at the main door - ready to go out. He sighed before he nods when he saw the piercing gaze of Seokjin. He waves the three goodbyes and turned his small frame towards Namjoon. 

The little was busy playing by himself in the living room. Namjoon was too focus on his coloring book. His lower lips protruding as a sign that he’s concentrating on his works that he didn’t notice Jimin has been watching him. 

“Joonie?” 

Namjoon tilted his head and smile when he saw his dada. “Dada!” 

Jimin hesitantly smiles. “Emm, I’m going to my room. If you need anything just call me or the others okay?” he said. Jimin waited until Namjoon said yes and leave the little alone without observation. 

Namjoon stares at his final masterpiece and his eyes beaming with joy to see how beautiful he had been coloring the Ironman. He was trying so hard not to go beyond the line and using the same strokes on each section. 

“Joonie – wanna – wanna show to hyungie!” He exclaimed and quickly gets up from the floor. He trudged over the hallway and went to Jungkook's room. Namjoon can hear the noise inside the room when he put his ear on the door. 

Without knocking, Namjoon slowly rolled the knob and pushed the wooden door. He smiles when he saw Jungkook and Taehyung were in the room – playing video games. Both didn’t notice the presence of the little. 

Namjoon tip-toeing and sneakily entered the room in order to give a good surprise to his hyungie and oppa. He was thrilled to show the beautiful picture in his hand. 

“Boo!!!” he spooked at the two and giggles when he saw the reaction of the two. 

Jungkook and Taehyung almost jumped out from the chair at the shouting. Taehyung accidentally kicked on the table and the glass on it wobbled before it fell on the floor with a loud crash. 

“What the!” Jungkook grits his teeth while he's looking at the mess. He snapped at Namjoon with a murderous stare. “Is it hard for you to knock the door before you come in??” he fumed. 

Namjoon gasped at the harsh tone, looking at Jungkook nervously. He instantly hides his drawing to his back as he trembled under the gaze of Jungkook. 

“Why are you doing this to us, hyung?” asked Taehyung with an annoying tone. 

Namjoon holds his breath. “Joo – Joon –“ 

“This is so stupid! Why can’t we have a good rest in time like this?? This is so tiring!” complained Taehyung further, as he looks at the shattered glass on the floor.  

“Sow – sowwy – Joon –“ 

“Just leave hyung. We didn’t want to talk to you at this moment. We need some time, okay? Can't you give the space to us? We still trying not to think about what you’ve said about us. So please –“ 

Namjoon eyes got teary at Jungkook's words. He didn’t fully understand what it is all about since he’s still in the little space. But he can see the hatred in Jungkook's eyes. And it makes his heart crushed like the broken glass. 

“Joo – Joonie sowie," Namjoon says with a shaken voice. He flinched when he saw the glares from Taehyung and Jungkook. "No – no hate Joonie pwease. Joonie wove hyungie – and – and Tae-Oppa…” mumbled Namjoon as his tears rolled down to his cheek. 

Jungkook and Taehyung were taken aback when they realized that Namjoon was still in the little space. They were trying to say something but couldn’t muster up anything. The silence remained until Namjoon left the room while sobbing sorrowfully. 

Jungkook and Taehyung look at each other with a mixture of emotion. 

“Are we being too much, Kookie?” asked Taehyung guiltily. 

Jungkook is speechless and Taehyung sigh in agony. The sad face of their beloved leader keeps on flashing back in their mind. They were wondering to themselves about the whole situation. 

Between love and hate, which one is the greatest?





 

Chapter Text


 

Namjoon weeps silently on the floor of his room as his eyes staring blankly at the picture he specifically colored for his favorite caregiver - Jungkook.

He wipes his snots with the sleeve of his shirt when it's almost reached his lips. He forgot how his appa used to warn him about it before. How he's going to make his shirt dirtier. But for now, it was the least of his concern.

He had been crying for almost one hour already but the tears keep flowing like a waterfall. No one ever come to the room to coax him. He hopes his hyungie will come and tells him to stop crying and hug him like before. He missed his hyungie and oppa so much. He wants to play with them and watch the movie together. He wants to cuddle and sleep with them.

Namjoon sobs harder. "Hyu - hyungie hate - hate Joonie. Tae - op - oppa hate Joo - Joonie too!" He wailed and pressed the Ryan plush to his chest. His tears drop on the top of the head of his plush, soaking into it.

"Joonie dwaw for - for hyungie. Wook it's pwetty!" he cried while he pointed at the picture. "Joonie wanna - wanna gif pwesent to hyungie!"

Namjoon continues to cry and he didn't know for how long he's been doing that but he ends up exerted himself. He laid down on the cold floor, moving his knees into his chest while still hugging his Ryan - curling into a ball. His eyes swollen due to crying non-stop.

"Wa - why hyungie and - and oppa hates Joonie?" he mumbled sadly. And soon the tiredness took over his body and he fell asleep on the cold floor.

The door creaked when someone opens the door from the outside. His eyes roaming around the room and frowning in confusion when he saw the bed is empty. His eyes trailed over again to the other corner of the room before he took a sharp breath when he saw Namjoon is sleeping on the floor.

"Namjoon?" He whispered and stepped into the room, quickly approaching the male. He crouched beside Namjoon, carefully not to make any sound.

His heart sunk into the pit of his stomach when he saw the remnant of the tears on his face. His whole face is red like a tomato. Maybe he was crying so much before he fell asleep. A few hiccups slip from his slightly parted lips.

"Joonie..." his hand strokes the hair on Namjoon's forehead. "Dada sorry that Dada left you alone." Said Jimin with a strained voice, holding his tears.

He was taking a nap when he heard the uproar from Jungkook's room. He's going to ignore it when he heard how the maknae has been shouting towards someone. Then Taehyung's voice follows suit. They were angry at someone.

But who?

Jimin groaned in annoyance at the disturbance, shoving his face on to the pillow - screaming through it in frustration that his nap has been cut short. However, he shot up from the bed hurriedly when something comes to his sense.

Namjoon!

He was about to get out from his room when he heard the footstep trotting at the hallway and the sound of someone is crying. Jimin opens his door and tries to call for Namjoon but he just entered his room and slammed the door shut.

Jimin grits his teeth in anger and he immediately runs to Jungkook's room. He banged the door as loud as he can with his fist, ignoring the dull pain over his hand. Jungkook opens the door with a scowl on his face.

"What is it hyung?" Jungkook asked in bitterness.

Jimin glares at Jungkook and Taehyung who's been standing behind the maknae. "What did you do to Namjoon?" Jimin prodded, voice stricken with anger.

Jungkook being caught off guard and he gulped in nervousness when he notices Jimin's mad face. Jungkook cocked his head to the back to look at Taehyung, squinting his eyes as if he was begging for help from the male.

"He's crying! What did you do?" asked Jimin again after Jungkook and Taehyung just keep quiet. The guilt is self-evident on both of their faces. Jimin didn't need to ask further to know that they were the reason as to why Namjoon is crying.

"Hyung, we - we just - we didn't mean to - mean to," Jungkook attempt to explain but he was in a stuttering mess.

"Didn't mean to what?" taunted Jimin.

"Hyung, it's a misunderstanding." Taehyung interrupted knowing that Jungkook won't be able to tell the whole story.

Jimin flicked his eyes to Taehyung, gawking at the taller male with a piercing gaze - asking for further explanation from the male.

"Namjoon came into the room and make us surprised with his prank. So - so we kinda snap at him?" explained Taehyung shamelessly.

Jimin peered over Taehyung and Jungkook in turn, shocked to hear the reason why Namjoon is crying. "Kinda snap at him? What the hell are you talking about? He's in a little space for fuck sake! He didn't understand the consequences of his act!" scolds Jimin.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at the nag, didn't feel that he had done something wrong. It's a reflex when someone is trying to scare you. "You can't blame us for that. None to this will happen if he didn't do that to us!" Jungkook continues to put the blame on Namjoon solely.

Jimin's body stiffens at the assertion, looking at Jungkook in wrath. "Don't tell me that you're still holding a grudge against him?" he assumed.

Jungkook and Taehyung gulped at the allegation. They were a little bit restless when Jimin keeps staring at them with his murderous stare. They know the male is waiting for them to answer his question just now. But they didn't know how to answer without incriminating themselves.

"We had the right to be mad, hyung!" states Jungkook valiantly. He didn't care if Jimin is going to be upset at him. He's stating the truth. He's still furious at their leader for thinking that they didn't give him any help when they were promoting at overseas.

"He thinks he had done so many works because we're being unhelpful. Just because he's the only one who fluently speaks English, that doesn't mean that we didn't try to speak too. It's just that we have a poor skill and need to brush up more. We need times to be skillful like him! We can't be an expert within one night!" argued Jungkook.

Taehyung agreed with the youngest, nodded his head at the statement. Jungkook has his support on this matter. He shared the same sentiment with Jungkook.

Jimin scoffs at Jungkook's argument. "You've told me that Namjoon thought we're giving him the full responsibility to speak English on our behalf throughout the tour. He feels the burden for the pile of works. Did you listen by yourself he said this?" interrogate Jimin.

He always wanted to ask the question to Jungkook and Taehyung when the boys tell him about it. But due to their hectic schedules, he couldn't find the time to have a talk with the two. Today the opportunity has come so he needs to grab it and try to resolve the crisis.

Jungkook puckers his brows in confusion. "What do you mean by that? Of course, we heard he said - " Jungkook halted as he reminisced the day when he thought he heard Namjoon gives a comment like that. His frown deepens on each second afterward.

"What?" asked Jimin, aware at Jungkook's odd expression.

Jungkook gnawed his lips and turn his head to the side to look at Taehyung. "We didn't hear he says that but Sukhoon-hyung was there uttering the words and Namjoon-hyung didn't rebut it..." he said in the realization that he might have misunderstood the whole situation.

"Well if we were to think about it again, Namjoon-hyung didn't say anything at that time. It's more on Sukhoon-hyung though, " added Taehyung, now having the same confused expression on his handsome face.

Jimin heaved a deep sigh before he speaks. "Don't you think that we might be exaggerated and acted childishly towards him? About the English thing and the rehearsal schedule? We put the blame on him when he was just executing the instruction by the company?"

Jungkook and Taehyung were in silence, thinking about Jimin's words one by one. They exchanged the gaze among themselves before all of them sighed in defeat.

Jimin let's the two to reflect on their wrongdoing meanwhile he slowly goes to Namjoon's room. He pressed his ear on the wooden door, scanning through it to find any sound made by the leader. But it was too quiet and Jimin suddenly feels the rush of worries.

Jimin slowly rolled the knob and peeked his head on the barely open door. That was when he saw Namjoon is curling on the floor, sleeping with a tear-jerk face. His heart squeezed at the scene, caressing Namjoon's wet face softly.

Jimin slowly gets up, grabbing the pillow and blanket on Namjoon's bed before he carefully hoisted Namjoon's head onto the pillow before he draped the blanket over his lanky body. He knows it will make his body to feel sore when he wakes up later, but Jimin didn't want to hurt the leader and himself if he tries to pick him up. He wasn't that strong and their bodies proportion were different. He will end up breaking some bones if he ever tries.

Jimin slumps besides Namjoon and continues to watch him fondly. Jimin regrets his decision to let him alone without any supervision. If not, this won't be happening and Namjoon didn't end up in such state. Jimin's eyes glaze with tears of sorrow and guilt.

Jimin startled when Namjoon stirs in his sleep, mumbling something incoherently before he put his thumb into his mouth. Tears cascade through the corner of his eyes and a few whimpers can be heard from Namjoon.

Nightmare?

Jimin lips quiver at the idea, trying his best not to cry. He scooted closer to Namjoon and rested on his side, facing up with Namjoon. He plopped his elbow and leaned his head over his hand. His other hand slowly pats on Namjoon's arm, hushing him to sleep while he hummed a random song.

Namjoon stops sobbing and the frown on his face slowly disappear. A soft snore can be heard a few seconds later. Jimin smiles in relief at the peaceful expression of the little. His eyes began to droop while he keeps patting on Namjoon. In a few minutes, Jimin too had fallen asleep on the floor.

 

 

 

 


 

It's been three weeks in a hectic schedule where they've been traveled a lot. It was back and forth journey from Korea to the US, back to Korea and now they were in Japan for the MAMA's award.

There's a lot of preparation been made for their performance and everyone was very hardworking and diligent - not to say it's also a very stressful day for them. Everyone was on the edge.

Namjoon massaged his temple as they continue to rehearse the dance for Anpanman. The continuous headache is killing him. He didn't know how much pain killer he had been taking for the past few days. Nothing can help to ease the pain. It's worked only for a couple of hours before it's starting to throb again.

Maybe he was too exhausted with the bundle of works he needs to do. His limbs didn't synchronize with his mind. He keeps on doing a simple mistake after mistakes. He can't catch up with everyone movement as a few dots start to blur his vision. He was wheezing and sweating profusely. His throat feels dry and Namjoon feels his body as light as the feather.

It's just a simple turn he needs to do, but Namjoon just being too tired and dizzy - he fell with a loud thud when his butt hit the floor really hard. The music stops and everyone was alarmed to see him on the floor - writhing in pain.

"Namjoon!!" Everyone shouted and bolted towards him.

Namjoon can feel his body burning. As if something is boiling inside him. He can smell the gasoline that trying to lit the fire. Metaphorically. He had reached his limits. Without proper sleep and rests for the past weeks, his body had acted up against his will.

"Joon, are you okay?" Seokjin asked.

Namjoon hissed when another pain attack on the side of his head. He held his head tightly trying to soothe the discomfort. But it was a futile effort. He needs another painkiller. To be honest, he might be depending on the medicine too much this lately.

"Don't crowd at him. Gives him some space to breathe!" Ordered Yoongi as everyone was swarming over Namjoon; including a few of BigHit's staff.

The members moved a little bit to create the room for Namjoon and the staffs leave them to get the medical assistance - in case Namjoon needs it.

"Joon, tell me what's wrong? Did you hurt somewhere?" urged Seokjin further when Namjoon didn't answer his first question. His eyes were scanning Namjoon's whole body to find any physical injury.

Namjoon shook his head and it causes the room spun around. He squeezed shut his eyes at the dizziness and he can taste the bile inside his mouth. "Head - headache, " he answered with a croaked voice. His throat feels dry and scratchy.

A few seconds later someone has shoved a bottle of mineral water to Namjoon's face. Namjoon hoisted his head a little bit and saw Jimin crouching in front him, beckon over him to take the bottle.

Namjoon's hand is shaking when he takes it from Jimin, prompting the rest of the members that he is not in good condition. Everyone was concerned since Namjoon rarely gets sick if to compare to other members of BTS. But once he did, it's always worse than the others.

Namjoon flinched when a cold hand was pressed to his sweating forehead. Hoseok hissed when his hand came into contact with Namjoon's hot skin.

"You're burning, Namjoonie. I think you might have a fever, " he said.

Namjoon sighed. "No - it's not - not fever. I'm dancing so hard just now, so - so my body reacted to it. It's - it's the heat from the rehearsal, " he retorts with a weak voice. Obviously, he is sick but refuses to admit it.

"We need to cut off the rehearsal today. You need to rest Joon," says Yoongi with concern. He notes the face of the younger is flush with red and his lips were pale and cracked a little bit.

Namjoon shakes his head vigorously before he winced when it makes his headache worsen. "No! No hyung! We - we didn't have time for that..."

Yoongi sighed. "Joon, if you collapse out of fatigue, you won't do any good to everyone else too. We didn't want you to exert yourself more than you were able to deal with. Please listen to me and we can continue our rehearsal the next day."

Namjoon nibbled his lips in agony at the statement, eyes staring on the floor blankly. He feels hopeless at the moment. He should take care of himself more. He should pay attention to his health and avoid any sickness. He can't afford to get sick at this crucial moment. They were having a performance at MAMA and now their progress comes into a halt because of him.

He didn't want to let down his members anymore. He had enough conflict with Jungkook and Taehyung. The animosity they give to him had been killing him softly. He didn't want the two keeps on hating him because of his deficiencies.

After the incident, last two days, his relationship with Jungkook and Taehyung didn't change at all. None of them were talking to each other besides a few glances throws on certain times. Namjoon was too timid to start the conversation, afraid that they will snap at him again. He didn't want to upset the two more than he had done in his little space.

"Come, let's go home baby..."

Namjoon tilted his head to the side at the velvety voice and meets with Jimin's smiling face. His heart fluttered to see the soft and tender expression, feeling at ease that Jimin had forgiven him.

He still remembers that he was surprised to see Jimin was sleeping beside him when he wakes up two hours later. He couldn't help himself from smiling as he keeps watching his dada's sleeping face. He looks so calm and beautiful. He's trying so hard to muffle his own giggles, not to offend Jimin's sleep.

He flinched when Jimin's eyelids widely open and stares at him intensely. He gasped in horror, thinking that he had disturbed the male from his sleep. Namjoon almost burst into tears out of guilt. Jimin was startled at the unexpected reaction, quickly hugged little Namjoon and peppering a few kisses on his cheek.

His heart swelled with lots of love and affection when Jimin continuously says 'I love you' and 'sorry' for acting like a bitch towards him before. Which Namjoon didn't keep any resentment in his heart at all for his mochi dada.

"Just rest for today, okay. Don't worry too much. We've been doing this routine for a few times and we won't mess up with the choreography. Don't think touch about it, " advised Jimin, bringing back Namjoon's mind to the present day.

Namjoon peers at his members one by one before he weakly nods his head. Seokjin and Hoseok helped him to get up from the floor. His legs wobbled when he stands up and Seokjin quickly grabbed on his shoulder.

"See? You're not fit enough to dance if you can't even standing straight Joonie!" snickers Seokjin. Not that he is angry but he just wants to knock some sense on Namjoon's genius brain that it's okay for him to stop when he needs to.

"Hy - hyung -" Namjoon whined when Seokjin pinched his forearm after he makes a sullen face at his words.

"Do not whine young man. You know I am right and you are wrong!" Seokjin retorts.

Namjoon rolled his eyes at the statement and let Seokjin wrapped his arm around his shoulder - helping him to walk since his legs move like a jelly. His other members had helped him to gather his belonging and waited for them in the van.

To see everyone concerns about him like this again, he feels happy. His eyes glistening with the tears seeing how the maknae line still cares of him. He appreciates that despite their misunderstanding, Jungkook and Taehyung didn't make a fuss about his sickness.

Namjoon sleeps throughout the journey to the hotel, leaning his head on Seokjin's broad shoulder comfortably. Yoongi keeps glancing at the leader and then communicate with Seokjin through his cat-eyes. Seokjin can read the concern of the rapper.

"Don't you think that he keeps getting sick this lately? I mean he constantly got a headache," tells Yoongi.

Seokjin arched his brows and nods his head in agreement with Yoongi. "I do notice. I guess the workloads had affected his health gravely."

Yoongi sighed. "Do you think we need to talk about this?" he suggested.

Seokjin paused for a moment to have a thought about it. He then turned his head to the back to look at the rest of the members. Everyone had their attention on the eldest, been listening to his conversation with Yoongi just now.

"I think we will have an emergency meeting at the hotel room," Seokjin decided.

The members didn't say anything except nodding their head. Seokjin gives them a smile of appreciation for their cooperation. Glad that everyone can see the seriousness of the situation.

"We'll let him rest first and wait until he wakes up," Seokjin added.


 

"I'm not going to do it alone!"

Hakyon eyes on Namjoon. He looks a little bit overwrought, blankly stares at the computer in front of him. It's been their routine to hang out at the cyber café nearby their house to discuss everything especially their passion in hip hop music.

"You can't let go of this chance, Namjoonie. If he called you after a year that's mean he noticed you and your talent. It's a waste if you didn't go," persuades Hakyon.

Namjoon groaned in frustration, rubbing his face harshly until his face turns to red. "What about you and Woonie?" he asked in exasperation.

Hakyon gives him a smile. "Don't worry about me and Woonie. As much as I hate to admit but you're far more talented than both of us..." he said wearily.

Hakyon can see how Namjoon's face crestfallen at his statement. Bewildered that Hakyon had the audacity to undermine his own talent. However, Hakyon didn't want to keep on deceiving himself. He might have the same passion as Namjoon for hip hop. But he wasn't that talented if he was to compare himself with Namjoon and Seungwoon.

That's why when he heard that Sleepy had personally contact Namjoon and asked him to go to an audition at Big Hit company - Hakyon is ecstatic. He is happy for Namjoon. This is a golden opportunity for Namjoon to show his talent to the world. Hakyon will continue to give his full supports on Namjoon.

"But we had made a promise to stick together in chasing our dream, Yoon-ah, " said Namjoon emotionally. He didn't want to go to the audition by himself. He didn't want to abandon his friends just for his own desire.

Hakyon chuckles at the mentioned of their friendship vows. "We can make an exemption for you, Namjoonie. You can't let go of your dream just because you want to cherish the childish promise..."

Namjoon looks at Hakyon in a conflict. He didn't like when Hakyon said their vows is a childish promise. They've been friends for years, going through lots of hurdle in life together and have been the biggest supporters to each other in accomplishing their dreams.

"Why are you saying like that? You know that it's been our dream to be a well-known rapper. To let the world listen to our voice, our concern, and our dreams. It's not my personal dream, Yoon-ah. It's our dream!" Namjoon states with sobriety.

Hakyon sighed. "If you go to the audition, that doesn't mean you're going to achieve your own alone, Namjoon. You bring along our passion and spirit together. You are going to make our dreams come true."

"Hakyon, I'm - "

Hakyon pats on Namjoon shoulder. "Just go, Namjoon. I'll talk about this to Seungwoon and I'm sure he'll understand..."

Namjoon didn't feel confident to go to the audition alone without his two friends. He keeps thinking what if he forgets his lyric once again? He is in torn between his ambition and friendship. Even though he is dying to go but he can't betray his friends like this. They've been together in every rap battles and auditions.

"Do for us, Namjoon..."

Namjoon exhaled a long and deep breath before he finally nods his head. "O - okay. Not that I'm going to get through on the second round though..."

Hakyon chuckles at his low self-esteem remark. Namjoon gives him a weary smile, still didn't feel good to go to the audition without Hakyon and Seungwoon.

Namjoon didn't know that his decision to go for the audition will change his life drastically. Namjoon didn't know his selfish desire to be a rapper will make him lost the most precious things in his life.

Seungwoon.

And,

Hakyon.






 

Chapter Text

 


 

After resting and take a good nap for three hours, Namjoon gets up a little bit fresh than before. The headache already subsides but it’s still there. At least he didn’t need another painkiller. 

He took a shower, wearing his favorite Ryan pajamas and ready to work with his laptop when someone knocked on his door. He frowned as he glanced at his phone to see the time. It’s almost ten p.m. and the housekeeping won’t be around this hour so he guessed it must be his bandmate. Either Seokjin or Yoongi. Maybe both.

Namjoon immediately walked to the door and when he opened it, his eyes widen to see not only Seokjin or Yoongi but everyone is standing in front of him – wearing pajamas with a silly grin on their faces. Namjoon frets in confusion. 

“Why all of you are here? Are we going to have a slumber party?” he asked in sarcasm but utterly confused. They never discuss any party before. The presence of his bandmates sparks the curiosity in his mind. 

Ignoring Namjoon question and confusion, Seokjin walked passed by him and entered the room uninvited. Then the rest of the members follows suit leaving Namjoon on the door flabbergasted. His lips parted in aw shuck at his bandmates demeanor, groaned in annoyance at the nuisance. He shut his door a little bit harsh to express his disapproval for being ignored.

Namjoon stares at his members on by one, now scattered around on his bed leisurely. “Can someone tell me why all of you are here?” he asked for the second time, a little bit irritated. His plan to do some work was ruined at the sudden intrusion. 

Seokjin leaned on the headboard as he straightened his long legs on the soft mattress. He then makes a gesture with his hand, beckons over the leader to join him and the rest on his king's size mattress. He pats on the empty spot beside him. 

“Come here, Joonie. Sit with us!” Seokjin urged. 

Namjoon brows arched. “What is this all about?” he asked without moving an inch. Voice rising a little bit since everyone refuses to give him the answer he wants. He won’t do anything until Seokjin or his members explain to him the reason why they were here, in his room at this hour, instead of resting. On his bed!

Yoongi huffed in annoyance at Namjoon's stubbornness. He lazily gets up from his comfortable spot, approaching the flustered Namjoon and dragged his hand to the bed – forcefully. Namjoon was trying to put a fight but Yoongi hissed at him, making Namjoon flinch and obeyed his hyung at instances. 

Yoongi pushed Namjoon's body to the bed, forcing him to sit in between of him and Seokjin. Taehyung sits at Seokjin's feet and Jungkook at Yoongi's. Meanwhile, Jimin and Hoseok take an empty spot in the middle, near Namjoon's feet – facing their beloved leader. 

Everyone seems comfortable on their spot except Namjoon. He’s still wondering what is happening and why the members acting so weird right now. 

Namjoon takes a deep breath while he crossed his arms to his chest. “So can we talk right now?” he asked, a little bit pissed off since no one says anything to him. The reason why they were hijacking his room and makes him as a hostage in his own room.

“We’re having a pillow talk tonight!” said Jimin with a wide grin until his eyes turn into a crescent moon shape – but for Namjoon it looks like he just closed his eyes. What a cutie pie!

“Pillow talk?” Namjoon was baffled at Jimin's explanation. “What do you mean by pillow talk?” he continues to ask. Extremely dumbfounded.

“Well…”

Namjoon cocked his head to his side at the dragged tone of Seokjin. He looks at his hyung with a frown on his forehead. Looking at the serious expression of the eldest, Namjoon's heart immediately beats really fast. His eyes quiver, unease at the sudden tense air.

“Did – did I do something – something wrong?” Namjoon asked with a shaking voice. His eyes soon glazed with tears, thinking that he might make his bandmates upset again. 

Seokjin gasped at the reaction, immediately reached for Namjoon's hand and squeezed it firmly. “Oh God! No! There’s nothing wrong Namjoon. Don’t worry,” explained Seokjin frantically, afraid that Namjoon will misunderstand their intention. 

Everyone looks concerned at their leader's mental breakdown. Yoongi took Namjoon's other hand and interlace their fingers together. It’s an assurance that there’s nothing to worry about. He wanted to ease the worry in Namjoon's heart. 

Namjoon tends to overthink something trivial and Yoongi didn’t want Namjoon to think the worst about the current situation. He didn’t want Namjoon to over analyze the reason why everyone is here now. 

“There’s nothing serious, Namjoon. It’s just a small talk,” said Yoongi as he continues to clutch Namjoon's hand. 

Namjoon frowned. He can't brush away his apprehension over the possibility of why everyone is here. It must be something serious if they barged in like this. It can't be small talk. They never do small talk. They never had a group discussion unless there’s something important or crucial that needs everyone to give their opinion. 

Namjoon holds his breath in horror when his worst thought comes to his mind. Are they going to disband? They used to talk about disbandment before. It was the most intense moment in his life after they debuted as BTS. 

The dread feeling when everyone used to consider about disbandment is really terrifying. It feels like someone had stabbed the knife to his heart. It’s painful and really hurt. Physically and emotionally. His role as the leader has been questioned. He feels he had failed his members. 

And now they are here again, with the same intense expression. Namjoon froze on his spot, thinking about the possibility that they want BTS to disband for real this time. Is this the end?

It’s all his fault. He failed to be a good leader. He makes everyone frustrated at him. And the problem with Taehyung and Jungkook had been prolonged for a quite sometime without any solution. He lets them drift apart. He shouldn’t do that. He makes the situation from bad to worst. 

It’s all my fault. I'm the worst leader of all. I'm –

“Namjoon!”

Namjoon’s body jerked at the shouting, looking at Yoongi with his wide eyes. And when he averted his eyes towards his members, everyone is looking at him with concern. 

What –

“Why are you crying, hyung?” Jimin asked as he scooted closer to Namjoon. 

Namjoon frowned, blinking his eyes when he realized his eyelashes were wet with tears. Namjoon touched his cheek and can feel the droplet. He didn’t realize that he was crying while he was debating with his pathetic self. 

Namjoon dragged his knees and pressed its to his chest. His arms wrapped around his leg as he leaned his chin on the top of it. “Are we – are we going to disband? For real?” Namjoon asked timidly. He can’t get rid the idea of his bandmates wants to go a separate way – living their own life without being a part of BTS anymore. 

A few murmured can be heard in the room but Namjoon didn’t have the heart to see his member's expression at the moment. He continues to brood, thinking about his deficiency and blunder as the leader. His tears are unstoppable. His heart is aching. He is on the verge of a breakdown. 

“Joon-ah, why are you thinking about disbandment again? None of us here ever talks about it anymore…” Seokjin velvety voice breaks the gloomy mood. His palm circling on Namjoon's back after he saw the leader crying and breathing a little bit faster. He’s afraid that Namjoon will have a panic attack if he didn’t try to calm him down. 

Namjoon inhaled a sharp breath, shakily breath it out before he shook his head weakly. “Everything is a mess right now.  And – and I make everyone upset. I – maybe I’m not a good – good leader at all, ” Namjoon said with a croaked voice. It sounds so sad and depressing. 

The room is quiet as if they were mourning over something; a minute of silence. No one said anything, exchanging glances with each other meaningfully. The sadness on their faces is noticeable as they saw their leader's troubled expression. Their hearts clenched with the same sorrow and anguish.

“Joon, why are you –“

“I want to say sorry to Taehyung and Jungkook,” interrupts Namjoon hastily, didn’t give the chance for Hoseok to finish his question. He thought he needs to apologize since they were discussing the disbandment. Maybe this is his last chance to say it to his friends, his bandmates.

“Sorry for what?” Yoongi asked in confusion as he fixed his eyes towards the two maknaes in front of him. 

Taehyung and Jungkook were shell shocked at the sudden apology by Namjoon, caught off guard as they weren’t prepared to discuss it with everyone yet. Taehyung flicked his gaze on Jungkook and he notices the uneasy expression on Jungkook's look. 

“What is this all about, Tae? Jungkook?” Seokjin asked as he can feel the distressed mood between the three involved. 

Taehyung swallowed dryly. “Actually, we – I mean Jungkook and I were going to talk about this tonight. Well, to ask Namjoon-hyung the real situation that leads to our – emm – our misunderstanding,” he clarified in a stammering speech.  

Jungkook nods affirmatively. Both in consensus that they should explain themselves about the crisis between them and the leader to everyone.

“Misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding?” asked Seokjin. 

“Hyung, I think we need to let Tae and Kookie explained about this,” Jimin said calmly. Didn’t want anyone to interrupt before Taehyung and Jungkook tells everyone the story. 

Seokjin looks at Jimin questionably, aware that the mochi had the knowledge about the situation. Seokjin then tilted his head to Yoongi where’s the rapper slightly nods his head – agree with Jimin’s suggestion to listen to the younger’s story before bringing up any question.

Taehyung takes the silence of everyone is a cue for him to start the conversation. “This happens when we were in the US for the AGT. We heard that Namjoon-hyung feels tired that he needs to become our translator since none of us are fluent in English. He needs to do most of the works and feels that we didn’t help him at all.”

The hyung line was shocked to hear the confession, looking at Taehyung incredulously with disturbed faces. The three were fighting but none of them knows about it? The masquerade they wore are certainly remarkable.  

“Did you really said that Namjoon?” interrogate Yoongi with a serious tone. 

Namjoon shook his head. “It’s – it’s a misunderstanding. I – I was talking to Sukhoon-ssi about the schedules and everything when Tae and Jungkook heard part of our conversation. That’s when they misunderstood the whole thing. I – I didn’t say anything at that time. It’s Sukhoon – and – and – I just let that happen – it's my fault – but I try to explain – still – I – I –“

“I believe it’s a mere misunderstanding and Namjoon-hyung didn’t say anything like that,” Jimin interrupt when he saw how Namjoon is struggling to explain himself. 

Yoongi huffed at the assertion, looking at Namjoon before he bid his eyes towards Taehyung and Jungkook in turns. “Then?” 

Taehyung takes a deep breath before he continues to talk. “Then we kinda pissed off at Namjoon-hyung. We – we’d defied his effort to explain to us and said something hurtful to him. But – but later we realized that we had acted childishly and selfish…”

Seokjin sneers at the statement, almost burst into a fit of anger before Yoongi pats on his shoulder to calm him down. Seokjin inhaled and exhale to gain inner peace before he and Yoongi swap a significant gaze with Hoseok. 

Hoseok clears his throat, comprehend the clue given by the two male. “Namjoon? Do you have anything to say about this?” he divert the attention back to Namjoon. 

Namjoon still hugging his knees didn’t say anything neither have any expression on his face after listening to Taehyung's justification. The tears had stopped and left with a few sniffs. Everyone was nervous seeing their leader in such posture, waiting for him to say something. It’s a bone-chilling moment for the rest of the members. Namjoon has never been so quiet and it's killing them softly. 

Namjoon slowly stretching out his legs, leaned on the headboard while he heaved a deep sigh. He shut his eyes for a few seconds, his lower lips jutted in concentration and he keeps fisting his hand into a tight ball. As if he was thinking thoroughly about what he’s going to say to his friends. Like, he was trying to find a suitable word to express his thought without hurting anyone.  

“I'm tired…” he whispered in a dejected voice. It carries the exhaustion, grieves, disappointment, and frustration. Namjoon sounded like he’s giving up. 

Everyone was horrified at the sudden confession, gawking at the leader bewildered.  

“Joon, what’re –“

“Everything makes me tired, hyung. And – and I think I need a rest. A proper sleep…” Namjoon cuts off Yoongi abruptly. Didn’t let him say anything before him. His body slumps further and it makes him looks so small and vulnerable. 

“But Joon –“

“This emotional talk makes me exhausted. I – I have plenty of works to do right now. I don’t think that I want to waste my time talking something trivial like this.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Namjoon?!” shrieked Yoongi while he looks at Namjoon furiously. Not that he’s angry but he was upset to hear that from Namjoon.

Everyone was taken aback at the outburst, looking at Yoongi and Namjoon anxiously. But Namjoon seems didn’t bother about Yoongi's wrath. He just sits there, blankly staring into nothing. As if he wasn’t there at all. Soulless. 

Seokjin notices there’s something off about Namjoon. He cupped on Namjoon's face, forcing the leader to face him. Seokjin’s heart sunk when he saw the dull eyes of Namjoon. 

“Joon? Are you listening to me right now?” asked Seokjin with concern, trying to gain the attention of the younger. Everyone was watching with puzzled. 

Namjoon didn’t reply. Instead, he just nods his head once. 

“Tell hyung, what’s wrong? This is not the real you. I know you won’t say anything like this. This is not the Namjoon I’ve known all this time…” coaxed Seokjin with a tender and soft voice. As if he was afraid to break Namjoon apart. As if Namjoon is like glass; fragile and precarious.

Namjoon brows pucker before his eyes slowly meet with Seokjin's orbs. It doesn’t take too long before a puddle of tears starts to accumulate on the dam of his eyes. 

“Sorry, hyung… I didn’t mean to say that. I was just – just –“

“I’m sorry hyung!” cuts Taehyung abruptly.

Namjoon tilted his head to see the younger, frowning at his sudden apology. Taehyung fidgeting at his silence, clearing his throat before he continues to speak. 

“Actually I and Jungkook is a little bit overreacting before and we should listen to your explanation before we jump into our own conclusion…” he said remorsefully. 

Jungkook nods his head, agreed with Taehyung. “I’m sorry too. For the things happen in the US and for the incident at our dorm. I shouldn’t shout at you and –“

“What do you mean you’re shouting at Namjoon?”

Jungkook shivered at the venom leeching out from the voice, slowly turned his eyes in an erratic heartbeat. He flinched when he saw the piercing gaze of Yoongi, looking at him like he is ready to kill him on the spot. 

Well, his mistake after all. He shouldn’t bring up about the incident since no one from the hyung line knows about what had happened that day. No one ever said anything when Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok came back to the house later that day. 

Not even Namjoon. And lucky for Jungkook and Taehyung that Namjoon had been out from the little space. They were scared at first, afraid that Namjoon will have another break down in front of the other caregivers – telling them what had he and Taehyung had done to him. 

It seems Jimin managed to handle little Namjoon very well. They heard a few giggles from the leader's room, playing with Jimin. As if he never cried before. A guilt tug on their heart but they were too ashamed of their wrongdoing and cowardly stay in Jungkook's room; remorsing their horrible act. 

“It’s nothing hyung. It’s just another misunderstanding,” said Namjoon, saving the maknaes from being the subject to Yoongi's wrath. 

Jungkook and Taehyung bows in shame at their leader's forgiving act –  feeling worse than before for treating their leader like that. 

“When this happen?” asked Yoongi, ignoring Namjoon's pleading eyes. He gawked at Taehyung and Jungkook, obviously frightened at his gruff voice and grim face. 

“It’s – it’s –“

“Hyung, please. It’s nothing. I don’t have any grudge or mad at the two. We were just exhausted from all the non-stop schedules. We just snapped at one point. It’s nothing serious,” Namjoon interrupt, didn’t let Jungkook talk. In fact, he feels sorry seeing how Jungkook and Taehyung cowered in fear. He never wanted the maknae to be in this situation. It makes his heart hurt. 

Jungkook eyes on Namjoon, a little bit shook when Namjoon selflessly defending him from Yoongi. His eyes slowly glossed with unshed tears. He was acting like a brat for weeks but Namjoon still didn’t hold any animosity towards him. 

When Namjoon gives him a smile of assurance to soothe his grief, Jungkook bites his lips in agony – didn’t want to let his tears to fall. He didn’t want to show his pathetic self in front of the strong leader. He didn’t deserve to inflict any emotional pain towards Namjoon once again.

“But Namjoon –“

“Yoongi…”

Yoongi stopped instantly when Seokjin grabbed his hand and shook his head slowly – withheld the rapper from saying anything further. Yoongi grunted in frustration but choose to listen to Seokjin this time. 

If Namjoon said okay, that’s mean it is okay. Eventhough Yoongi is dying to protest his decision not to share with him and the rest about the whole situation – Yoongi is going to respect that. 

“I’m really sorry, hyung…” whispered Jungkook as he stares at Namjoon, to show his genuine feeling. 

Namjoon shook his head. “It's okay Kookie. Let bygone be bygone. There’s nothing to be sorry for. Everyone just tired and I understand that sometimes we become emotional.”

“Hyung, for what we had said to you, all the cruel things – we are really sorry. You don’t deserve all the shits. You’ve done so much for us, for the group and we’re being ungrateful to that,” said Taehyung. 

Namjoon chuckles softly. “There’s no such thing as I'm doing more than the others. We are together in this, we played a significant role in BTS. We had our own part and responsibility. We carry the same weight on our shoulder,” he states. 

Everyone took a shuddering breath at the speech, feeling touched at Namjoon's sincerity. His virtue as BTS leader never fails to make everyone in the group to feels amazed. He never complains about his workload, neither he had to make a face for doing the extra works. He always smiles and takes everything handed to him gracefully. For him, it is his duty as the leader.

“But you’re doing so much this lately and we didn’t like how you’re pushing yourself off-limit. You keep on getting sick, Joon-ah…” mentioned Hoseok with concern. And everyone seems to agree with the dancer. 

Namjoon fretted before he sighed. He notices the constant headache he had past few weeks but there was nothing serious. Namjoon thought his body reacted in such a way because he was too stressed about the works plus with the conflict with the maknaes. But now everything has been cleared up, his mind once again found its peace. He feels lighter than before. 

“Me and Taehyung will work hard to enhance our English skill so that we can help you doing the interview abroad…” said Jungkook solemnly. 

Namjoon raises one of his brows in amusement. “Are you sure about that? I don’t have any problem to be your translator but if you really want to do that, it will be great for you and Tae though. It’s good for your own reputation…”

“Tha – thank you hyung…” Jungkook sheepishly replied. 

“So, are we okay now? Right?” asked Jimin with a wide smile on his face. 

Everyone heartily laughed at the comment before each of them nods their head. Their heart now at ease that they managed to settle the conflict without having an argumentative discussion. 

“I think we need a group hug!” suggest Hoseok cheerfully, wiggling his brows playfully.

“Yes!!” Jungkook and Taehyung shouted in unison and they both burst in boisterous laughter. 

“Ugh, I hate skinship!” mumbled Yoongi in annoyance.

“Come on Yoongi!” urged Seokjin.

“Joonie want a group hug?” asked Jimin while he looks at Namjoon with a beautiful smile. 

Namjoon cheeks tinged with a pink hue, looking at Jimin and his other members one by one. Everyone is waiting for his answer and Namjoon can feel how the butterfly roamed in his stomach. 

“I think – we – we need to do a group hug, ” he answered shyly with his tiny voice. 

Yoongi immediately pinched on Namjoon's chubby cheek, cooing over his cuteness. “Aigoo, our Joonie is really cute! Let’s do a group hug then!”

Seokjin chided at Yoongi's demeanor and the others were rolling their eyes at his change of attitude. They already know how the rapper always had a soft spot for Namjoon. And sometimes it makes them cringed. 

When Yoongi hogging over Namjoon from his side like a koala, the other members pitched forward and swarm over Namjoon on the bed. Namjoon yelped at the sudden attack but later he laughed when his bandmates were pushing among themselves when they try to have Namjoon for their own. 

Which later, obviously Jungkook had won the fight. And Namjoon sleeps with Jungkook that night. Making the others leaving the two with sulking faces. Jungkook grinned in victory, giving his smug face to the rest of his members. A few disapproved sound being made by the rest as they leave the room; defeated by the golden maknae. 

Jungkook held Namjoon in his arms, while Namjoon rests his head on Jungkook's firm chest. It’s been a while since they were being so close like this. And it feels so nice and warm as they hugging each other without any ill-feeling. Just love and love. 

Before drifting to the dreamland, Namjoon makes a mental note to himself that he will give the picture he had drawn to Jungkook.

Hyungie will like it!

Later that night, Namjoon wakes up at the shrill noise of his phone. He groaned in annoyance as he was soundly sleeping in the arms of Jungkook. He squinted his eyes towards his phone in the dark, frowning when it’s a private number. He glanced at the time on the top of the screen and grimaced to see its three in the morning. 

Nonetheless, Namjoon answered the phone, thinking that its maybe an important call. “Hello?” he answered, almost whispering as he is afraid to wake Jungkook from his deep sleep. His voice was croaked and hoarse – a hint that he just awake and exhausted.

“Hello, Namjoonie?”

Namjoon frowned. “Who's this?”

“It’s me, Namjoonie.”

“Who?”

“Seungwoon…”

 





Chapter Text

 


 

Namjoon groaned in his sleep when there’s something on his waist, wrapping over his body so tight that he can’t move at all. He tried to yank away the heavy thing over his torso but then his ears caught some murmurs to his ears.

Who’s that?

Namjoon snapped open his eyes in terror and look to his side – to see who’s the stranger been sleeping on his bed. Namjoon gasped when he saw Jungkook was soundly asleep and their face only a few inches apart.

Namjoon exhaled in relief when he remembered that the maknae had a sleepover in his room last night. Namjoon laid on his back, rubbing his sleepy face with both of his hands and curse himself for being dumb.

Namjoon yelped when Jungkook pulled his body into a tight hug as they both lay on their side. Jungkook put his chin on top of Namjoon’s head where his face been squished to Jungkook's firm chest. Namjoon rolled his eyes for their awkward position and nudged over Jungkook's shoulder lightly – wanting the maknae to loosen the grip over his body.

Namjoon let another squeak when Jungkook dragged his body closer, burying his face on Namjoon’s fluffy hair. Namjoon's face turns to crimson red at their close proximity. Their bodies basically been glued together where he can hear the faint sound of Jungkook's heartbeat.

It’s an uncomfortable posture for the two since Namjoon is taller than Jungkook. But it feels so right and Namjoon fits perfectly in the arms of Jungkook. It makes Namjoon feel so small despite the differences in their body proportion. Jungkook makes him feel safe and protected at the same time.

Namjoon snuggled further to Jungkook, giggling when Jungkook's breath fanning over his hair – a little bit ticklish. He can be in this position for the whole day, lying on the bed in the warmth of Jungkook's embrace. It feels so good.

Namjoon slowly slithered his arm around Jungkook's torso effortlessly as his mind slowly begins to regress into a little space. It’s unexpected but Namjoon couldn’t help himself. Like, there’s something stirred in his gut and he just wants to curl himself to make himself look tiny and small.

Namjoon shut his eyelids, relishing the moment with Jungkook while he grinned foolishly. It’s so cozy and homey. But then Jungkook moves slightly and Namjoon whined at the sudden action.

“Joonie?” Jungkook rubbed his sleepy eyes with his paw, and look down at Namjoon who’s still hugging him.

“No… hyungie! Sweep wif Joonie!” he whined when Jungkook tried to get up.

Jungkook chuckles as Namjoon pressed his head further to his chest, tugging his shirt asking him to lay down on the bed. Jungkook let out a small grunt, stretching his sore limbs before he reached over his phone on the nightstand. He squinted his eyes on the phone, peeping for the time. It’s eight in the morning.

Jungkook crashed his head on the pillow in weariness. “Fuck! We have rehearsal at 9.30!” he said in annoyance, more to himself. He then turns his head to see Namjoon, now pouting his lips. “What's wrong baby?” he asked.

Namjoon huffed. “Hyungie, say – say the F word! Appa – appa angwy! No meanie words pwease!”

Jungkook laughs at the complaint and immediately apologizes. “Okay – okay I’m sorry!” He knows Seokjin had alerted everyone not to curse in front of Namjoon when he’s being a little. Namjoon tends to pick up those words and will keep saying it relentlessly.

Yoongi had slipped out his tongue one day. Saying the F word in front of Namjoon. And Namjoon, as innocent as he is, had been uttering the same profanity word for the whole day to everyone – leaving everyone bewildered. Seokjin gives the oldest rapper his famous murderous stare for leading on the little.

So they come up with a new set of rules. No cursing words. And Namjoon has been explained that the F word is a ‘meanie’ word and a good boy will not say it to anyone at any time whatsoever. Being a good boy, Namjoon promise not to say it again; forever and ever.

As much as Jungkook likes to lay down on the bed with Namjoon for the whole day – to make up the times where he had been mean to the little, they need to get up for their final rehearsal at the venue. The MAMA award is tonight and they need to finalize everything and make sure all the preparation is perfected.

“We really need to gets up, baby!” Jungkook said while taps his finger on Namjoon's nose playfully. He laughed when Namjoon makes a funny face, didn’t like it when Jungkook asked him to get up from the bed. “Come on baby. Gets up, we need to go for our final rehearsal and the soundcheck…” he mentioned.

Namjoon pouted. “Joonie tired!” he said while he yawns. Namjoon ignored the fact that they will be late if they didn’t move from the bed as soonest.

Jungkook smiles fondly at the little. He slowly detached his body from Namjoon's arm, making the little to whine in disapproval. He rolled his back to the bed and continue his fussing on the pillow childishly.

Jungkook laughed at the antic but quickly grabbed on Namjoon's hand – yanking him up from the comfy mattress. Namjoon glared at Jungkook, a little bit irritated that the maknae had forced him to get up.

“After the performance tonight, we can sleep as much as we want Joonie. Don’t you excited that we’re going to perform Anpanman? You like the song a lot!” coaxed Jungkook as he ruffled Namjoon's bed hair.

Namjoon puffed his chubby cheek and let out the umpteenth whine for the day. He’s a little bit tired and wanted to stay in the hotel room – resting and playing with his hyungie. But little Namjoon knows that he can’t do that. Big Namjoon has the responsibility to be fulfilled. He can’t be selfish and let big Namjoon face the consequences of his ignorant attitudes.

Namjoon let out a deep sighed, still pouting, and finally gave in as he bobbed his head in defeat. “Hmm, o – otay!”

“Good boy!” praised Jungkook and he quickly pressed his lips on Namjoon's head.

Namjoon smiles faltered and his face beamed joyfully, feeling the pride at the compliment. Little Namjoon always loves the praises. Whenever his caregiver applauds him for doing something, his heart swells with pride that he had pleased them. It’s some sort of accomplishment he gained in little space. A recognition and appreciation.

“Hyungie!!” Namjoon screeched when Jungkook jumped out from the bed, wanted to go back to his room for a shower.

Jungkook turned his body, frowning when he watched how excited Namjoon is rummaging his luggage on the floor. “Joonie?”

Namjoon squeal in joy when he finds the thing he had been looking for. He immediately runs towards Jungkook and flashed the paper to Jungkook. His feet bouncing happily while he shows his drawing to Jungkook.

“Joonie wanna – wanna gif this to hyungie. Joonie dwaw – and – and cowor it. Wook! It’s pwetty!” he said chirpily.

Jungkook stares with his doe eyes at the drawing. An image of Ironman colored beautifully by Namjoon. Jungkook gasped when he saw his name and Namjoon on the paper.

  

“Aw, Joonie…” Jungkook eyes glistening with tears of happiness and gratification. He feels so touched that Namjoon had drawn it while thinking of him, even though they were not in a good term before.

Jungkook takes the drawing, looking at it for a few seconds, smiling up to his ears. His heart combusts with a mixture of emotion; mostly happiness. “It’s – it’s beautiful, Joonie-ah!” he said with a scratchy voice, trying to conceal his desire to cry. But his tears already cascade down to his cheek unwillingly.

Namjoon cocked his head to the side, peered over Jungkook who is crying. “Why – why hyungie cwy? Hyungie no wike that?” Namjoon asked with a shaken voice. He thought he had done something wrong that Jungkook ends up crying.

Maybe his drawing so ugly that Jungkook hates it!

Jungkook quickly shook his head, denying the allegation. He lifts up his head and facing his face to Namjoon. He then clutched the drawing to his chest, hugging it dearly as if it’s the most precious and valuable thing he ever received from Namjoon.

“No! I – I really like this. Well, like is not the right word to describe my feeling right now. I love it, Joonie. I really – really love this drawing. It’s beautiful and you did a good job doing this. I’m – I’m really thankful that you’d given me this.” Jungkook explained in a choking voice, trying not to shed any tears in front of Namjoon. But it’s a futile attempt since he’s already a crying mess. 

“We – weally?”

Jungkook nods his head in an affirmative way before he staggered forward and hugged Namjoon's lanky body tightly. Namjoon squeaked at the sudden gesture. But later it turns into a giggle fit and he wrapped his long arms around Jungkook's torso.

Jungkook placed a chaste kiss on the side of Namjoon's head a few times. “Hyungie sorry for being so mean before…” he said earnestly.

Even though he had apologized to Namjoon last night, Jungkook believes that he needs to say sorry to little Namjoon too. For acting ruthlessly that day, shouting at him when he’s in the little space. It was a shameful act and Jungkook is regretting it.

Namjoon hummed and nuzzled his face on Jungkook's neck further. He had forgotten about the incident but at the same time, he feels happy that his hyungie didn’t mad at him anymore. It makes him afraid and sad before. But everything is in the past. Now Jungkook is treating him well.  Nothing else matter.

“Hyungie loves Joonie so much. Remember that, okay?” said Jungkook, whispering to Namjoon's ear.

Namjoon giggles cutely. “Otay! Joonie wove hyungie too…”, he replied with his little voice.

Jungkook pushed Namjoon's body slightly as he gleams at the little mischievously. “Hyungie loves Joonie three!” he teases.

Namjoon brows pucker. “No! Joonie wove hyungie more. It – it's four!” he cried.

Jungkook let out a burst of boisterous laughter at the reaction. “Emm that can’t be because hyungie loves you more. Five!”

Namjoon huffed in irritation. “Six! Six! Six!” he continues to rebut, lips jutted in dissatisfaction.

“Seven?” continue Jungkook with a smug face, raising his brows comically.

Namjoon whined and hits Jungkook on the chest, but not too harsh to inflict any pain to the maknae. “Hyungie!”

Jungkook pulled Namjoon's body into another hug and laughed heartily looking at how Namjoon is sulking at his teasing. He cupped the back of Namjoon's head and caressed his back softly.

“Okay – okay! You win. You love hyungie more…” Jungkook said to ease the little. But deep down inside his heart, Jungkook still debating with himself that – he loves Namjoon more than anything. Namjoon is his paragon, his first and last role model. He has a special place in his heart, someone who he always looks for.

My first boy's crush!



 

 

Namjoon blinked his eyes rapidly, biting his lips and taps his feet on the floor anxiously. He couldn’t move his eyes from staring at the outfit that he need to wear that night performing Anpanman.

Namjoon tilted his head to Seokjin and Yoongi before darted back to the row of the wardrobe. He tries not to regress into little space, but looking at the situation right now – he’s not sure whether he can refrain himself from doing so. It’s intriguing and tempting.

“Namjoonie?”

Namjoon hummed without breaking the eye contact at his outfit hanging in the corner of the room.

“Are you okay?” asked Seokjin when Namjoon basically ignored him. He approached the leader and notes that his attention is somewhere else. Something is bothering him.

“What’re you looking at?” Seokjin asked again as he joined Namjoon on the divan.

Namjoon briefly turned his head to Seokjin before swiftly moving his head back to the corner of the room. Seokjin follows his motions and frowned to see the wardrobe.

“Why are you looking at the clothes?” he asked in curiosity.

Namjoon sighed. “Hy – hyung, do – do I need to wear that?” he asked timidly while pointing at his assigned costume.

“Why? You didn’t like it?” retort Seokjin.

Namjoon shook his head. “No – not like that. But – but –“

Seokjin gasped when something clicked in his mind. “Namjoon-ah? Don’t tell me that – oh my God!” he shrieked, causing everyone in the room to have their attention at him and Namjoon.

Every member of BTS immediately moved towards them, staring at Seokjin and Namjoon in turn with confusion at the earlier commotion.

“What’s wrong Jin-hyung?” asked Jimin.

Seokjin sticks out his lips over Namjoon and the rest were looking at him with raised brows. Namjoon still looking at the costume, didn’t care about his bandmates at all.

“Namjoonie?” Yoongi attempts to draw the male's attention.

“I think he’s on the verge of regressing, ” muttered Seokjin scandalously. His voice is quiet,  afraid that someone else might hear him.

Everyone gasped in horror at the mention, now fully alarmed when they saw how Namjoon's eyes fixated at his spacesuit costume that he needs to wear during the performance. The spacesuit had triggered Namjoon. 

“Oh, God! What now? We can’t let him being a little while performing!” spurted Hoseok worriedly. 

Seokjin sighed. He looks at the watch, realizing that they’re going onto the stage within an hour. His eyes on Namjoon again. He massaged his temple,  feigning for the non-existence headache.

“He’s fully regressed!” whispered Yoongi in horror and everyone tense up when they saw how Namjoon put his thumb between his parted lips – sucking on it carelessly.

“Joonie–” Seokjin is at words lost, staring at the leader. Seokjin grabbed Namjoon's hand, pulling out the thumb from his mouth before someone saw him doing it. Namjoon whined at the lost, now looking at his appa with his glassy eyes.

“Ap – appa!” he called Seokjin, voice turn a sharp blade, indicating that he’s in a little space.

Seokjin smiles wearily. “Darling, are you a little right now?” he asks for something evident.

Namjoon bobbed his head. “Appa, Joonie – Joonie wan – wan,” he’s stuttering, didn’t know the exact word to say it but he pointed at the spacesuit.

“You want to wear it now?” Seokjin asked.

Namjoon nods while smiling widely, revealing his perfect white teeth. “Ye – yes! Joonie wanna be astwo – astwo - not!” he said with excitement. He looks really eager to wear it, keeps flicking his eyes on the suit and Seokjin in turns.

Seokjin cracks up at his words but at the same time, a little bit amazed that Namjoon had used the word ‘astronaut’ instead of ‘spaceman’. Despite being a little, Namjoon's genius brain still working faultlessly.

Seokjin traded looks with the other members as they were swooning over Namjoon cutesy behavior. “Yoongi, we can’t let him perform like this. It won’t do any good for us. It’s too dangerous for him. He might expose himself…” said Seokjin in a wary voice.

Yoongi nods in agreement. “I’ll talk to him, you guys get ready first. Okay?”

Seokjin and the others left Namjoon with Yoongi meanwhile they take their outfit for the day. Namjoon eyes quiver with nervousness when he saw everyone had left him. He fretted but a little bit soothed that his daddy is here with him.

“Daddy!” he squealed when Yoongi squatted down in front of him.

Yoongi shows his gummy smile to the little and slowly takes Namjoon's hand. “Do you like the suit?” he asked carefully.

Namjoon gives a solid ‘emm’ as the answer and shakes his head energetically.

Yoongi takes a deep breath before he proceeds to speak. “Well, you can wear the suit but you need to do one thing for daddy. Is it okay?”

Namjoon scrunched his nose at the sudden deal, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“Daddy needs big Joonie to sing and dance with us for a while. You know that we have a performance after this, right? Little Joonie cannot do that with us –“

“Why? Joonie can – can dance!” Namjoon abruptly intervenes and looking at Yoongi with a sullen expression.

Yoongi bites his lips. He didn’t want to hurt little Namjoon's feelings right now, but to let him on the stage in that state of mind is not a good decision. He wasn’t prepared to be outed in front of thousands of people. It will make him vulnerable and Yoongi is convinced that little Namjoon will end up crying on the stage.  

“No baby. This is different. This is not like what’re you doing in the room. Here, you will be singing and dancing in front of thousands of people, in a big and humongous stage…” explain Yoongi.

Namjoon huffed. “Joonie scawed! Joonie wanna stay here…”

Yoongi caressed Namjoon's hand softly. “Daddy knows. That’s why daddy wants big Namjoon right now. Can you do that for daddy?” He goes on with convincing the little.

“But – but Joonie wanna be astwo – not!”

Yoongi amusedly laughs at the request. “Of course you’re going to be the astronaut. Well, I’ll ask the stylist to let you have the suit after the performance. You can wear it for one day and play at the hotel. Okay?”

Namjoon lips parted at the idea, gasping like a fish while he thinks that he’s going to wear the spacesuit all day long. His lips slowly twitched into a wide smile and his face beaming in euphoria.  “O – otay!!” he finally conceded. 

Yoongi sighed in relief. It wasn’t so hard to persuade little Namjoon. He gradually slipped out from his little space, but of course, causing a few ruckuses when Yoongi been helping him wearing the spacesuit. 

Namjoon was bouncing and in a giggling mess, examining himself through the mirror while he shows off the suit. Everyone is charmed by his adorable behavior and they can see how much he loves the suit. 

During the performance of Anpanman, Namjoon is trying so hard not to regress, giving his all to sing and rap in front of the fans. He enjoyed himself so much on the stage, delivering his very best alongside his bandmates.

Well, of course, he was ecstatic and towards the end of the song, his mind was hazy as he couldn’t help himself from feeling thrilled, thinking he can keep wearing the suit after the end of the performance.

He didn’t realize that he had slipped into a little space again when the music ended. He can’t control his body and he fell on his butt while doing his last posture. All his caregivers were shocked to see him down on the stage but laughing in fondness at his cuteness. They had used to Namjoon's clumsiness but this time it is so endearing and wonderful. 

Namjoon was flabbergasted at first but he raised his hand higher, ended the song successfully. He gnawed his lower lips when he saw his caregivers were enjoying themselves watching him in that situation. He glared at each of them and they were just laughing at his demeanor.

 

But a smile crept onto Namjoon's face as he feels proud of everyone. The performance is amazing and perfectly done. They had kick it up a notch and had put extra effort into it. They managed to entertain the crowd and left them to faze watching the grand scale of it.

They hurriedly run towards the backstage to give the way to the next group. They can hear the cheering of the fans from the side of the stage, giving them a small wave for their endless supports.

And among the crowd, Namjoon breathes hitched when he saw a familiar figure, standing close to the stage. Someone he has known for years. His eyes widen in shocked when he saw the smile on the said person's face. A smirk. An evil one.

Last night memory comes back flashing to his mind as his heart beating so fast that he can hear the thumps. It's louder than the music and the fan's chant in the venue.

‘It's me Namjoonie.’

‘Who?’

‘Seungwoon.’

‘Seung – seungwoon?’

‘It’s been a long time. I really miss you Namjoonie.’

‘Seungwoon –’

‘Soon, we shall meet, Namjoonie!’

‘Seung –’

Click.

‘ – woon’

The call ended. 





Chapter Text


 

Namjoon met with Bang PD for the first time at the audition held by Big Hit Entertainment. After he had listened to Namjoon's incredible rap, Bang PD offered Namjoon a spot at the record label directly. He was enamored by Namjoon's skill on that day. And without his parent's knowledge, Namjoon accepted the offer right away.  

Namjoon was in a cloud nine that day, can’t wait to go home and gives the good news to Hakyon and Seungwoon. Throughout the journey back to his house, Namjoon can’t stop smiling while riding the bus. He ignored the weird looks given by the other passengers. He’s too happy to even bothered about what the others were thinking over his odd behavior. 

Namjoon hopped out from the bus, making the driver shake his head at his childish antics. Namjoon then runs towards a nearby playground where Hakyon had been waiting for him. From afar, he can see Hakyon sits on one of the swings. 

“Yonnie!!!” Namjoon yelled in a jovial tone while he runs toward his friend, grinning foolishly. 

Hakyon was taken aback at the spirited voice, raise his head to see Namjoon is running; more to skipping actually. “Namjoonie, don’t run you’re going to trip –“ he was about to reprimand Namjoon about his clumsy steps when Namjoon plunges on the pave way and instantly fell on the sand with a loud thud.

“Namjoonie…” Hakyon sighed at his friend’s clumsiness before he gets up from the swing and try to help Namjoon. 

“Ouch!” Namjoon writhed in pain as his face slammed on the sand. Hakyon chided at him and yanked his hand while he dusted the dirt on Namjoon's clothes. 

“You’re so clumsy, Namjoonie!” commented Hakyon while he examined Namjoon's body – to see if he had hurt himself.  

Namjoon sheepishly grinned at the remarks. He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. He then looks around was a few kids were looking at him with wide eyes and giggling among them. It’s funny for them to see a young adult like him to trip on his own feet. 

Namjoon pouted when he heard the cackling sound made by Hakyon. “You’re laughing too?” he asked in a sulking tone. 

Hakyon laughed at the funny face made by his friend. “Because you’re such a clumsy baby! Why do you keep tripping over nothing?” he continues to laugh further till he feels the cramp over his stomach.

Namjoon’s lower lips jutted with irritation at his best friend's continuous laughter – mocking at his accident-prone catastrophe.  

Hakyon holds his laughter when he saw the sour expression of the male. He let out a breathy chuckled and put his hands over Namjoon's face, squishing his face playfully. Hakyon giggles when Namjoon's lips shaped like a fish out of water. 

“Aigoo, you such a baby Namjoonie!” he said, continue to tease the male. 

Namjoon fretted at the nickname mentioned by Hakyon for the second time. His face is flushed with a dull color of red around his cheek and ears. It’s embarrassing for someone to call him ‘baby’ especially when he’s a grown-up teenager. Namjoon didn’t think it really fits his image as a rapper. 

“Don’t call me baby, Yonnie!” he retorts.

Hakyon laughed again, knowingly that Namjoon is shy at the moment. He can see the shade of red on his face.

“Why? I think it suits you well…” states Hakyon with a grin on his face. Hakyon then kneaded Namjoon's chubby cheek because Namjoon looks so cute like that and Hakyon always love it when Namjoon become so flustered until his face turns to red.   

Namjoon groaned and pushed aside Hakyon's hand over his face. His cheek feels numb and he moves his jaw to make it disappear. “Stop it, Yonnie…” he was trying to be mad at Hakyon but his voice sounded like he is whining instead of anger. 

Hakyon chuckles. “Okay – okay.” He finally admits defeat before Namjoon really gets mad at him. Which Hakyon knows it won’t happen at all. Namjoon is a young man with a good equanimity in handling his emotions. Namjoon prefers a subtle approach to solving a problem, avoiding any undue conflicts.  He’s more into a diplomatic approach, being really tactful in solving a problem.  

Hakyon always adores Namjoon as a friend as well as an individual. He’s a wonderful friend and also an incredible rapper.  He always inspired him and Seungwoon to pursue their dream in music. Namjoon creates an inspiring vision of the future. He motivates and inspires people to engage with that vision.  He is good at leading the people on the right path. Hakyon believes that Namjoon will be a great leader one day. 

“I passed the audition!!”

Namjoon's excited voice (almost screaming) had intruded Hakyon's deep trance and he looks at Namjoon with a frown on his face. He couldn’t decipher what had Namjoon said to him just now. “What?” he asked in confusion. 

Namjoon is bouncing on his feet with excitement and he didn’t mind to repeat what he had said to Hakyon earlier. “Yonnie! I passed the audition and – and Mr. Bang offered me to be the trainee at his company!!!”

Hakyon lips parted in aw shuck as his mind trying to process the news delivered by Namjoon. His eyes on Namjoon who’s still bouncing giddily and it takes another three seconds before Hakyon starts screaming in joy. 

“Namjoonie!!!!” he cried as he grabs both of Namjoon’s hand and the two were shrieking and bouncing around the playground merrily. “You’ve made it! You’ve made it!” chanted Hakyon repeatedly. 

“I did! I did!!!”

They were screaming and jumping around like a fool, ignoring all the weird looks given by the kids and the parent at the playground. They scowled at their childish behavior but decides to ignore the two teenagers and continue to watch their own children. 

Namjoon and Hakyon were panting, out of breath after the strenuous movement and they finally stopped. Hakyon dragged Namjoon's by his hand, going to the swing again. They sit side by side, moving the swing slowly as they try to regularize their own breath. 

“I’m happy for you Namjoonie!” said Hakyon with a pleasing voice. 

Namjoon grinned until his eyes turn to a crescent moon shaped. “I wasn’t that confident when I rapped at the audition. And I’m shocked when Mr. Bang wants me to be his trainee. I said yes right away!” he said with a giggle. Namjoon still couldn’t believe that Mr. Bang had offered him a place at his company. It was like a dream comes true. A really good dream.

Hakyon glanced at Namjoon, staring at him with a fond gaze. He can see how happy Namjoon is right now. “You’re talented Namjoonie. Of course, he’ll see your amazing talent. It’s a waste if he let you go. Mr. Bang is a genius for choosing you!” 

Namjoon chuckles at the declaration made by Hakyon. “You’re exaggerating Yonnie!” 

Hakyon raised his brows. “Well –“ Hakyon stop for a second before he curved a smirk. “I am though,” he confirmed with a smug face and laughed at his own absurd behavior. 

Namjoon looks at Hakyon who has been genuinely happy for him. His heart swells at the view, feeling grateful for having such a good friend like Hakyon. Namjoon gasped in shocked when his mind suddenly flashed an image of his other best friend – Seungwoon. 

“Woonie! How about Woonie? He  - he didn’t know about this yet.”

Hakyon was taken aback for a moment as he too had forgotten about Seungwoon. “Ah, about that. Actually, Seungwoon is not here…” 

Namjoon frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

Hakyon sighed. “I told him about the audition. As expected, he kind of angry…” he told Namjoon.

Namjoon brows arched at the statement, looking at Hakyon with a puzzled look. “He – he didn’t like I’m going to the audition by myself?” he asked timidly. Slowly the feeling of guilt starts to creep in his heart. 

He knew that Seungwoon loathes the idea of him to go to the audition alone without him and Hakyon. Seungwoon is a sensitive boy. Throughout their friendship, Namjoon and Hakyon always being cautious to act around Seungwoon – avoided any confrontation with the male. Seungwoon has anger issues and everyone tries their best not to infuriate him. 

“Don’t worry too much Namjoonie. You know he’s always stubborn and angry all the time. But when he had chilled out, he will be happy for you too…” Hakyon tried to cajole Namjoon, sensing his discomfort about Seungwoon.

Namjoon nibbles his lips anxiously. “Where is he now?”

“He’s going to see his grandmother at Busan. She’s sick so all of his family going to visit her…” explained Hakyon. 

Namjoon nods slowly with a silent ‘oh’ slips trough his plump lips. He then looks at Hakyon. “Should I call him? Asking him about his grandmother?” asked Namjoon. 

Hakyon frowned before he wiggles his head. “I don’t think it’s the right time to do so, Namjoonie. Just let the things cool down first then we can call him. Okay?”

Namjoon inhaled and exhaled in a deep breath before he hesitantly nods in agreement with Hakyon. But Namjoon didn’t know that it’s the beginning of how his life is going to change entirely. It’s the mark of where their friendship begins to crumble down.


 

"Seungwoon? Woonie?"

Namjoon flickered his eyes, looking among the crowd as if he had mistakenly seen Seungwoon. He strolled towards the side of the stage, attempting to have a better look. But someone has tugged his forearm, stopping him from going anywhere. 

“Where are you going?” 

Namjoon turned and see how Seokjin is looking at him with confusion. Namjoon didn’t answer the elder immediately. Instead, he tilted his head back to the crowd again to find Seungwoon but to no avail. There’s no Seungwoon. Am I dreaming?

“Joonie?”

Namjoon sighed at the calling of his name before he looks at Seokjin once again. “Hyung…”

“What’re you looking for Joonie?” Seokjin asked and his neck stretched out to look at the side through Namjoon's shoulder. He wonders what had caught Namjoon's attention but he can’t find anything interesting. Except for the fans that keep calling their names. Seokjin waves his hand towards the army and gives them his signature flying kiss. Causing the army to scream in joy at his antic. Some of them have fainted.  

“No – nothing hyung…” Namjoon answered weakly. 

Seokjin stares at the leader and saw his sullen expression. Something is bothering him. Seokjin notices the gnawed lips and his immersed eyes whenever he is thinking about something serious. 

Seokjin takes Namjoon’s hand, entwining their fingers together before he hauled Namjoon to their backstage room. They need to talk but they can’t do it in front of everyone. And by way of Namjoon had acted on the stage just now, the male almost slipped into little space. 

When Seokjin entered the room with Namjoon, every BTS members look at the two with a questionable expression. They notice the frown on the oldest male and how Namjoon being quieted down when Seokjin makes him sit on the couch. 

Yoongi then approached the two in curiosity. “What’s wrong hyung?” he asked, concerns evidently shown in his voice. 

Seokjin tilted his head towards Yoongi. “I’m not sure. I saw Namjoon looks anxious just now.”

Yoongi frowned. “Anxious?” His eyes then shift to Namjoon who is fidgeting on the couch, tinkering with his fingers. Yoongi took a seat besides Namjoon, making the younger to flinch a little bit. “Are you okay?”

Namjoon’s head dangled down as his eyes fixated on his trembled hands on his lap. He just hummed softly as an answer to the elder. He’s still thinking about Seungwoon. Whether it’s his imagination or the said male is really out there – looking at him with a smile. A smile that makes his heartbeat escalated. An eerie smile that makes him feel intimidated. 

It’s been a long time since he met with Seungwoon. He never forgets Seungwoon's face. It still intact on his mind even years of apart. Seungwoon is his best friend. He’s part of Namjoon's life, playing a significant role in his pursuit of being a rapper. They were together with Hakyon, through thick and thin. He’ll never forget about Seungwoon and Hakyon. 

“Joon…”

Namjoon's startled when Seokjin put his hand over his shaking hands. He cocked his head to his left side, looking at Seokjin concern's face. Namjoon gives him a depleted smile as he breathed weakly. 

“Is there anything you want to share with me? With us? We are here for you Joon…” let out Seokjin. 

Namjoon jerks his head. “No – nothing hyung. I’m just – just tired, maybe…” he said almost whispering. He gives a smile to the elder, struggling to hide his mental crisis. 

Seokjin fretted at the answer. He didn’t buy with the smile because he knows how Namjoon always hides his problem from the others. Seokjin is about to interrogate the younger when he caught the glimpse of Yoongi's expression – shaking his head slightly, preventing him to ask anything. 

Seokjin huffed at the hindrance, pouting his pinkish lips as a protest at Yoongi.   Yoongi rotates his eyes in irritation at the fuss. Ignoring the piercing gaze throws by Seokjin, Yoongi taps on Namjoon's shoulder.

“You know that you can get a good rest after we’re back in the hotel, right? So don’t think too much and relax…” told Yoongi as he softly squeezed over Namjoon's shoulder blade. 

Namjoon nods. “O – okay. And – and –“ 

Yoongi brows pucker when he sees how the younger's fidgeting and his voice turn out to be thinner than usual. A small hint that he is on the brink of the little space. 

“What is it, Joonie?” he asked while he emphasized on Namjoon's nickname. A smile already arose on his pale face, rejoiced the fact that Namjoon is slipping into his comfort zone. Yoongi always thrilled to see Namjoon as a little. 

Namjoon raised his chin a little bit, glancing at Yoongi before he narrowed down to his lap again. His cheek has been tinted with the shade of pink as he continues to play with the hem of his sleeves. “I – I can wear this – this costume to – to our room, right?” he asked timidly, murmuring almost inaudible. 

Yoongi bites his lips and held his breath as he tries to compose himself from melting on the couch for Namjoon's cute little act. “Of course Joonie. Daddy promised that you can wear it if you let big Joonie perform. Since you’re a good boy, you can have it…” Yoongi said with a jovial voice.  His face beamed as he talks to little Namjoon, showing his gummy smile.

Namjoon eyes magnified in excitement and he flashes the widest smile ever at the answer. “We – weally? Thank – thank you daddy!” he replied cheerfully and gives Yoongi a big hug. 

Yoongi can hear a few snickers on his back and when he cocked his head he saw the maknae line was looking at him with a mocking face. Yoongi squinted his eyes at the three, scoffing at their attitudes. 

“How could a grumpy old man be a softie like that? He only did that to Joonie!” Jungkook sneered as he watched the interaction between Namjoon and Yoongi. 

Taehyung chided. “Joonie is his favorite. Don’t you remember what he said about him? Joonie's aegyo is the cutest among us!”

Jimin snorted at the mentioned of that. “Yeah, I remember that. Yoongi-hyung is totally whipped with Joonie. He didn’t acknowledge our aegyo at all. He always said it makes him cringe. Whatever!” he said as he rolled his eyes. 

Jungkook huffed in bitterness. “I can’t believe we lost to Joonie! He’s so awkward when he does the aegyo thing! And hyung thought he is the cutest?” 

Taehyung raised his brows while he looks at Jimin and Jungkook in turn. “To be honest, I think Joonie is really the cutest among us,” he retorts nonchalantly. 

Jimin’s shoulder slumps at the statement and he let out a long sigh. “Yeah, that’s right. He’s so cute and adorable… I – I can’t even look at him when he does the aegyo in front of the army. My heart almost explodes at the cuteness.” 

“He’s a baby. Big baby!” exclaimed Jungkook further. 

“Our baby!” whined Taehyung dramatically. Jimin and Jungkook then hug the taller male as the three faking their cries. 

“What a drama queen! You guys are a bunch of fools!” said Hoseok as he watched the three maknae having fun among themselves. He scoffed at them when the maknae stuck out their tongues playfully at the aesthetic dancer and rapper. 

And maybe the decision to let Namjoon’s wearing the spacesuit is a wrong decision for Yoongi. 

Basically, Namjoon has been wearing it all night long after they at the hotel room – refused to change into his pajamas before going to sleep. Not even Ryan pajamas can make the little to let go of his precious spacesuit. 

“No, daddy! You – you pwomise me!” 

Namjoon cried and been wailing almost ten minutes when Yoongi had forced him to take off the costume. As a result, Yoongi just let the little to wear it as long as he wanted. Even Seokjin raised his hand in defeat, declined to help Yoongi in this matter. It’s Yoongi’s deal so he needs to settle it by himself. 

The problem goes on until the next morning, leaving all the caregivers to have a mental breakdown. Namjoon still refuses to let go of his costume. Not even when he needs to take the bath. When Seokjin tried to put it away, Namjoon immediately grabs it from Seokjin's hand. He even brings along the costume with him in the bathroom. 

Seokjin face palmed himself at the stubbornness and he once again blames it on Yoongi for making such promise.   “It’s all your fault,” Seokjin said to him for the umpteenth times that morning. 

“Ughh, I didn’t know it will turn out like this!” Yoongi groaned in exasperation. 

“It’s hard to say no to him when he makes that puppy face. I can’t blame you for that, hyung,” said Hoseok as he joined Yoongi and Seokjin on the couch.

The three watched how Namjoon sits on the bed in his astronaut suit, having fun coloring with all the maknae. They were having a coloring contest, meanwhile, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Seokjin will be the judges. Which they had prematurely decided the winner. Of course.

“We’re lucky that we didn’t have any activity today. If not we’re going to have a problem if he insists to wear it…” tells Seokjin with a smile on his face. Despite being stressed out dealing with Namjoon’s antic, he can’t deny that it is also an endearing moment to watch the leader in a little space. 

Namjoon always take a good care of his bandmates when they were working. He’s being really helpful and attended to everyone's needs relentlessly, making sure everyone is happy and comfortable. As such, whenever they’re outside of their schedules, it’s their time for them to take care of their beloved leader.

To be honest, everyone is enthusiastic to look out for Namjoon in little space.  It’s not only a stress reliever for Namjoon but also for the whole member. When Namjoon takes a breather by slipping into little space, the rest will take the same break to be his caregivers and had fun together with Namjoon. It’s a win-win situation for everybody. 

“Daddy! Appa! Papa!” Namjoon excitedly called his caregivers.

The three looks at the happy little and they smile when Namjoon shows to them his colored picture. 

“Wook! Joonie – Joonie makes Sailormoon pwetty!” he claimed as he held the paper in front of him. The image of Sailormoon is being colored with messy strokes.

“It’s really pretty baby!” replied Hoseok with his hearty smile. 

“I think we had found our winner!” announced Seokjin then. 

“It's our darling, Joonie!!” shouted Yoongi. 

“Yeay!!! Joonie win!!!” Namjoon screamed and he jumped on the bed with excitement. 

The maknae groaned at the sudden announcement as they threw away the color pencil in frustration. 

“This is not fair!” complaints Jimin as he looks at his picture of Powerpuff girls. He had been concentrating all this while, eagerly wanted to win. 

“I don’t even finish mine yet!” Taehyung growled as he pouted and crossed his arms. His picture of Spongebob is half done. He yet to color the pant. 

“I need more red to color my Ironman!” Jungkook muttered when he saw the color pencil becomes shorten in a blink. 

“Joonie win!!!” Namjoon continues to scream and jumping on the bed, ignoring the sullen faces of the maknae. 

“You guys can’t seriously want to beat Joonie in this!” Seokjin retorts as he heard all the criticism made by the youngest. 

“You said it’s a contest!” sulked Jimin. 

“Really guys?” Yoongi asked in irritation.

“Joonie win!!! Yeay!!” 

The maknae looks at Namjoon begrudgingly, who’s still being ignorant at the crisis they were having right now. He’s too engulfed with his winning celebration that he had dismissed the fact the maknae feels dissatisfied with their loss. 

Taehyung, being bitter about it since he’s a very competitive person, shot up from his spot and tackle the little Namjoon. Namjoon squeaked in horror as he falls on the bed, bouncing over the fluffy mattress. 

“No!!! Tae – Tae oppa!!” Namjoon squirmed when Taehyung starts to tickle his waist in animosity. 

Jungkook and Jimin then joined the act, loomed over Namjoon's lanky body and pricked him playfully. Namjoon shrieked at the ticklish sensation all over his body, struggling to escape from the fight but it’s a fruitless attempt. 

“Hewp! He – hewp Joonie!!!”

“You’re going to make him pees on the bed!!!” Seokjin screamed at the three butthey just ignored the elder. They just having fun with Namjoon and their laughter echoed in the room. 

Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok watched the four playing among themselves with a fond smile on their faces. At that precious moment, they didn’t know what is coming for them. How happiness is a short-lived glory. How in a blink of eyes, someone is going to intrude in their peaceful life.

Two days later, Namjoon met face to face with Seungwoon again.

At Bighit's building. 

Namjoon is horrified as his body fell over the staircase. 

Seungwoon had pushed him.

Leaving him with the puddle of blood underneath his head.