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Elegant: The Best of Balladbird Lee

Chapter Text


Bunji stood at the entrance with his jacket zipped tight and his hands in his pockets.

Balladbird Lee emerged from the sliding doors with his head high and his hair long. The tall Balkon came off a little fruity with his over-priced clothes. Talk of his manscaped body and manicure prompted to Bunji to think: if you want to be a broad, buddy, just get the operation.

Lee surprised the hell out of him last night, though. The prissy bastard pinned some shit-bird to an alley wall and slit the guy’s throat from ear to ear, and he pulled it off without getting a drop of blood on those fancy four-hundred-yule shoes.

“Are they meeting us here?” asked Lee.

“Bro’s on his way with the Big Guy,” said Bunji.

“Bob’s already inside,” Lee said, before whistling long.

A blue and white open-top roadster pulled into the drop-off entrance and the whistle didn’t do it justice. A noisy beast, it was loaded with stacked lamps in the front and rear, and a smooth hood scoop framed by shining bumper bars.

“Look at this shit, Kugashira!” Lee walked around to the study the back. “You’re seeing the ultimate street-legal racer,”

Bunji recognized the driver, a young suit from Magritt Oil. Short blond hair neatly combed and a watch on his wrist worth more than Bunji’s pistols, he stepped out of the car and pushed his keys at Lee.

“Park it inside,” his eyes fixed on Lee. “You understand?”

Bunji pulled off his shades, ready to kick the shit out this asshole.

Lee flashed a toothy smile and took the keys.

“Oh, hashi-hashi,” he bowed his head and spoke pidgin-English with a perfect Balkon accent. “I park car in shade, where there no sun!”

Blond bitch smirked and peeled a fifty-yule bill from his pocket before shoving it Lee like it smelled bad. He then trotted past Bunji on his way inside, a contemptuous sneer on his face that Bunji knew all too well.

His glasses off, Bunji was just another slit-eye who washed up on shore and made Billion a lousier place. Sand rats from the southern Balkon island were lower on the totem pole than northern ice-bunnies like Lee.

Lee stood there, staring at the ground. When his fingers circled slowly around the man’s money and keys, Bunji realized shit was about to go down.

Aniki specifically asked Bunji to keep things smooth until he got there. Lee marching into a food joint and turning some blond-dickhead into a pin cushion was the very opposite of smooth.

“You ask me,” Bunji snatched the keys from his grasp, “Today’s a kick-ass day for a joy ride.”

Lee said, “Coastal highway, Kugashira!”

“Oh fuck yeah!” Bunji got behind the wheel and shoved the key into the ignition.

Lee sat shotgun and cranked the stereo to the max.

No, I don’t believe in luck
No I don’t believe in circumstance - no more
Accidents never happen - in a perfect world
So I won’t believe in luck

The motor roared as they peeled out onto the street. Bunji weaved in and out of traffic and barreling toward the canal bridge they heard the horn of a harbor bound ship.

“Gun it Kugashira!” Lee fastened his seatbelt and then reached over to secure Bunji’s. “Beat that fucking boat!”

Ahead, the bridge’s signal arms were already flashing. Bunji shifted gears and careened around the stopped line of cars. Busting through the bridge’s arms before they met in the middle, he felt the road rising and saw its end splitting in the distance.

Spurred by a howling Lee’s hand on his shoulder, Bunji punched the accelerator with his foot, rolling them up and over the seperating road. Airborne only a few seconds, the car touched down violently, bucking the pair before Bunji busted through a second set of dividers.

Fleeing the scene, Bunji gunned down the highway.

 I saw you walking in the dark
So, I slipped behind your footsteps - for a while
Caught you turning round the block
Fancy meeting in a smaller world - after all
Accidents never happen – in a perfect world

Bunji shifted into fourth and watched the speedometer rise to one-fifty. Lee rose to his knees and untied his hair.

“Get off on the coastal east exit,” he shouted.

On the winding road between the mountain and the shore, Bunji stole glances at Lee; back in his seat, he was stretched out and smiling.

 Accidents never happen - could have planned it all
Precognition in my ears
Accidents never happen - in a perfect world
Complications disappear

Bunji’s stomach was on fire. Behind the wheel of a two-seater with low-back seats and bulging wheel arches, this was what his dreams of being in Millenion were all about. The flames in his belly raged and the engine thrummed in his groin as he took it to two-hundred in just under four seconds.

Like the Magi on the hill
I can divinate your presence from afar
And I’ll follow you until
I can bring you to a perfect world
Accidents never happen

Bunji shifted gears and sped past two-fifty.

Turning, he found Lee with his pants peeled open. Long manicured fingers curled around his cock, rubbing the smooth foreskin up and down.

Bunji’s eyes flicked back to the road, it was all he could do to keep focused on driving.

Lee licked his hand and thrust it back down, jerking and tugging, he bucked his hips in the passenger seat until his eyes found Bunji watching.

Accidents never happen -could have planned it all
Precognition in my ears
Accidents never happen - in a perfect world
Complications disappear

Erection straining his zipper, Bunji took them off the road. He knew an isolated spot near the beach; he was keeping the Shelby Cobra because there was no way he could keep Balladbird Lee.