“I… I have to save him,” he mutters so softly it could barely be heard.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks back to see Jaebeom’s face contorted by sadness and pity. He didn’t need that right now, what he needed to was to get back to work.
“Jinyoung you can’t… it’s over. We can’t do anything so please…” Jaebeom tells him.
He was met with silence, Jaebeom sighs.
“Everyone’s worried. Bambam and Youngjae wanted to come with but I told them it would be better if I went here alone, Mark has been texting and calling you nonstop but you’ve never replied, Jackson was even planning to leave his business trip early just so he could see you.”
His eyes were earnest and it seems like he does want to help. He wants to help Jinyoung because they’re friends, everyone wants to help him because they care. They want Jinyoung to get better, to move on…
…but Jinyoung doesn’t need that. He would never want to move on.
“You can leave now, Jaebeom-hyung.”
“Just go.” He swats away the hand on his shoulder, his eyes never leaving the table filled with blueprints and diagrams that only he could understand.
When Jaebeom doesn’t make a move to leave, Jinyoung turns around and shoves him.
“Go away.” His voice was level but his eyes betrayed the anger bubbling from inside.
The older man seems conflicted but after a beat, he starts to move to the door, Jinyoung’s eyes following him as he goes.
He stops at the door, seemingly wanting to say something, but he decides against it and promptly leaves.
Jinyoung immediately crumples to the ground, tears filling his eyes, a scream struggling to tear out of his mouth.
Breaking news. A subway train derails in… Police seem to think the accident was due to… The number of casualties is currently unknown but there have been 10 confirmed victims…. a flower shop owner named…
… the last one to be identified was a college student from… University named Kim Yugyeom.
He wraps his arms around himself as he tries to steady his breath.
You couldn’t have known Jinyoung, he was always safe whenever he rode the train to get to your place.
It wasn’t your fault.
You couldn’t have known…
You killed my son.
He runs a hand through his hair, his other hand wiping the tears that were still falling from his eyes.
Jinyoungie, you always keep to yourself. That’s not healthy, you know.
“You were always here… I didn’t need anyone else,” he whispers to himself.
It sucks how you’re a genius and you’re pretty, while I’m a dumbass and I can’t even get a stupid date for stupid Valentine’s.
“Y-you’re not dumb… and I wanted you to be my Valentine.”
You keep calling me a brat but you like me, don’t deny it Jinyoungie.
“I do… I like you, you were—are everything to me.”
I… uh… I like you Jinyoung… hyung. I think I’m in love with you.
“I love you too…”
You don’t have to say anything! I know it’s strange, you probably have someone in mind but I just… it’s weird, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.
“I don’t want to forget,” he mutters to himself, using the table in front of him to help him stand.
He looks at the different papers scattered on the table and his eyes immediately zone in on the picture he has of him and Yugyeom. It was taken here at his home, Yugyeom had suddenly wrapped an arm around his shoulder and took the photo with his other hand.
Yugyeom had mustard-colored hair at the time, it was a ridiculous color but he was still beautiful to Jinyoung, not that he had ever said it to the other man. The next day Yugyeom came back with two printed versions of the photo.
One for you and one for my wallet, he told him.
He runs a finger to the younger man’s face and he feels emotion well up inside him once more. He feels the tears start to come yet again but he wills himself to stop.
“I’ll bring you back,” he tells the photo of the smiling boy.
“I have to. I didn’t get to tell you what I actually feel.”