He couldn’t ask for help. He never did.
He offered the help. He was the one people were relying on. He was the one figuring things out, solving problems. So how should anybody else help him, if he himself couldn't even deal with his own problems?
No, Stiles couldn't call anyone.
Sure some people knew he struggled from time to time and that those times sometimes lasted for days and days. But only Isaac and Scott knew that he couldn't ask for help.
The only thing he could do was sending a text to Isaac since he knew Scott was working and didn't want him to worry or even to leave work for him.
Hey curly head! What ya doing atm?
He wasn't even quite sure how it happened that he trusted Isaac that much. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't like really close to him not like he was with Scott. They never hugged each other or anything like that. But there was kind of an understanding. Isaac just... he understood. And he didn't push. He was just there.
The buzzing of his phone stepped into his whirling thoughts.
Hey there. Nothing much. I'm actually really bored...Can I come over? Fancy a movie night? Scott could join after work!?
That was what he meant. Isaac didn't ask him whether he should come over and making Stiles asking for company and help after all. Instead Isaac turned the situation around and asked him whether he could come over cause he , Isaac, wanted to.
Yeah sounds good. Can you bring some coffee please?
That was his code and silent plea not to bring anything to eat. Not even curly fries cause he couldn't even think about food right now without feeling nausea rising up in him.
Sure. The usual?
He put the ‘Thank you’ in a new line on purpose. So Isaac understood that it was not for bringing him coffee. Much more for being there for him.
Any time pup.
And for the first time today there was a soft faint smile bringing just a little light to Stiles’ face.
When Scott entered Stiles’ living room he found him and Isaac sitting on the floor in a pile of pillows and blankets watching some Avengers movie. Isaac and Stiles were sitting next to each other, touching only lightly on their upper arms. A silent and small reassurance. Isaac giving Stiles as much comfort as possible within the boundaries of their friendship.
When Isaac texted him that he was on his way to Stiles bringing coffee and movies, Scott knew it was one of these days. One of these days when Stiles needed company but couldn't ask for it. When Stiles wanted to talk so badly but couldn't get past some sarcastic comments. When Stiles just couldn't bear to be on his own.
Scott dropped his stuff onto the couch, grabbed a cup from the kitchen and settled down next to Stiles while pouring himself some coffee. He leaned back on the sofa behind him, spreading his left arm onto it and behind Stiles’ neck to provide some more comfort and offering his best friend the opportunity to lean into him if he wanted to.
“So what are we watching?”
“Captain America and Avengers marathon!?” Stiles half stated and half questioned.
He settled himself more into his position, relaxing while Stiles hesitantly leaned his head onto his shoulder. Scott dropped his arm carefully and brushed the back of his hand against Isaac’s shoulder so all three of them were connected and he could hopefully make Stiles feel the support of his little pack here.
After about an hour -while Chris Evans was seriously kicking some asses- Scott noticed a vague change in Stiles’ breathing. When he turned his head to look at Stiles, he saw Isaac glancing over at them, telling Scott that he must have noticed the change too.
The only response Stiles gave though was snuggling himself a bit more into Scott's side.
Scott protectively tightened his arm around his friend, pressing him gently into his body.
“It's alright. We are here. It's ok. Ssshhhh.”
He felt Stiles tensing up and clenching his jaw tightly.
“It’s ok Stiles. You are safe. It’s ok….Just keep breathing alright? In…..and out.” Scott heard how Stiles was following his directions making him smile in relief and with an even more soothing voice he encouraged him to keep going. “Yeah that's it. Come on another one...in….and out. Remember the triangle ok? Try to visualize it ok... Two sides in and one out…” After a few minutes of repeating the same rhythm he finally could hear how his friend's heartbeat started to slow down. “There you go.” A small whimper escaped from Stiles’ throat, so narrow it was hardly audible, even for werewolf ears. Scott sighed quietly. He knew Stiles hated to lose control like this. And Isaac hadn't seen him so vulnerable before. Scott started to rock them both in small movements in an attempt to provide even more comfort .
“It's alright Stiles! It's ok! I'm here!”
When Isaac heard Stiles’ heartbeat picking up on speed he first thought it would be because he was so invested in the movie. Which would normally be the case. Watching a movie with Stiles wasn’t a quiet pastime. He would shouted at the fictional characters and waving his arms around so no one could actually see or hear anything any more.
But there was no shouting or gesturing.
When he looked to his side he met Scott’s concerned eyes. He didn't like that look.
While he listened to Scott’s soothing voice he felt Stiles tensing up. Man that was not good.
He knew Stiles wasn't ok from time to time. And yes he knew about the panic attacks but yeah he kind of wasn't prepared for that anyways. This was different from the flashbacks he knew too well. Stiles still seemed to hear what was said to him. That was a good thing, right?
Whilst watching Scott trying to talk his best friend out of this attack, Isaac noticed Stiles’ hands. He was fumbling with them, clenching them and occasionally digging his nails into his palms.
It was more out of a reflex when he reached out to cup them with his rather big hand. After a second of recognizing, Stiles’ hands went still. Isaac parted them with his own and Stiles held onto Isaac’s hand as if it was a lifeline. Isaac gave him a reassuring squeeze.
Just trying to signal his friend that he was there. And that's what Stiles surprisingly had become, his friend.
Oh god. Oh shit no.
He didn't have had a panic attack, did he? In front of Isaac??? Oh come on!!! Well, that was great, just great! Beautifully perfect!
He squeezed his eyes shut again, pretending to be able to emerge from reality’s eagerness to wrap him up in a thick layer of good old shame. Geez.
A long sigh echoed through the silence of the room.
We'll it's not like Isaac didn't know about them. And it's not like Isaac had never seen Stiles hitting a low point. But that was just...argh.
He just hated to break down like this- so much. He hated to lose control like this. He hated to be even more vulnerable than his pale non-supernatural ass already was. He was fine with Scott being there. He had been friends with him forever and they've shared so many good and bad moments in life, they just had such a strong bond and Scott didn't judge him in the slightest.
But him and Isaac have just become friends. Well kind of like friends anyway.
Yes he trusted Isaac but it was just so weird.
Oh god. What if the rest of the pack would get to know about this? That wasn't too odd of a thought. He doesn't know what they all could share through their pack bond thing and the creepy ability to feel emotions of their pack members even over distance.
That would be bad. Really bad.
But then again, Scott had never revealed anything to them, right? But he wasn't technically a member of the Hale pack. They were kind of their own pack with Lydia and Allison. Especially now that Scott was actually an alpha himself. And Isaac didn't really belong to any of their packs. But if you think about it they all were really one big pack with two alphas. A big pack of weird fantasy creatures, a hunter who was actually trained to kill these kinds of living fairytales and Stiles, the human. Yeah that was totally all gonna work out great.
He felt the sofa sinking in next to his head.
“Stiles?” Scott’s voice was so gentle.
He hadn't notice that the racing of his mind's thoughts caused his breathing going a little uneven.
His best friend must have picked up the quickened sound of his heartbeat. Damn werewolf hearing.
“Hmmmhmmm,” was the mumbled answer he managed to get out.
He felt Scott’s hand resting reassuring on his back.
“There is coffee and breakfast waiting for you. Well there is definitely coffee. I tried making some eggs and pancakes but yeah, you know my awesome abilities when it comes to that. Isaac was so frustrated watching me that he kicked me out of the kitchen to try rescuing what was left….which wasn't much admittedly.Unless you'd like crunchy eggs with burned aroma...so yeah...uhm coffee?”
Stiles chuckled. Oh lord he knew how awesomely bad Scott was in preparing a proper breakfast. But seriously how could anyone even burn eggs?? Like how?
“Yeah definitely go with the coffee here,” he smirked while rolling sideways so he could actually look at Scott whose puppy eyes were gently resting on him. “U ok?” Scott asked and gently increased the pressure on his back.
“Yeah...yeah of course.”
“No other panic attack in the close future Sir,” he added when Scott kept giving him his ‘be honest with me Stiles’ look.
“Ok. Coffee is waiting for you whenever you're ready.” Yes that was Scott. Making sure Stiles knew he could talk to him but not insisting he actually would. So eventually the control was handed back to Stiles so he could change back into routine. Scott just knew how much he hated not to be in control.
After a few more minutes of denial, Stiles moved himself. Oh man; he must've laid in a not so Stiles friendly position. His entire body hurt when he lifted himself off the couch and stalked into the direction of the kitchen.
“So. I managed to save some of the eggs and we got like three pancakes. Also we’re lucky Scott didn't see the bacon so I could actually make something that doesn't have a faint taste of burned crunchiness,” during the last words Isaac shot a glance into Scott’s direction who cringed under his gaze and gave him an apologetic smile.
Stiles couldn't hold himself back from laughing at the guilty look on his best friend's face. His best friend’s true alpha face. A true alpha who was seeking the forgiveness of a beta, over burned breakfast. But that was just what made Scott being a true alpha after all he guessed. The desire to create as much peace as he could, where he could.
“Dude you didn't know that Scott’s performance as a cook is like as outstanding as Greenberg’s attempts on making little ‘please-like-me-presents’ to coach?”
Isaac laughed, “Oh yeah right. The other day coach was throwing a fit over a new one. I don't know what he got him but Coach's reaction let assume that it might have been a bit too romantic for his taste!” Laughing he handed a cup of coffee over. As Stiles took it from him he noticed that it was filled quite up to the top with more milk than he usually would take. When he lifted his head with a confused look on his face, Isaac gave him a nod along with a small encouraging, knowing and soft smile.
Stiles returned it thankfully and took a seat at the table. Scott settled opposite of him, Isaac slid in next to him.
First Stiles only nibbled on a slice of bacon but after a while he moved on to eat some of the -surprisingly good- pancake which Isaac had placed on his plate without looking at him, an indirect order to eat.
They talked and laughed throughout the entire breakfast.
And opposing to his fears when he woke up, replaying what happened the night before, the presence of the two werewolves was really comforting.
And if Isaac's arm was carefully pressed against Stiles’ own while he was sitting a bit closer to him than usual, it wasn't mentioned by any of them.
And if Stiles occasionally leaned into the contact a bit more, Isaac didn't back away from him. He stayed. So did Scott. Comforting Stiles silently, not judging him.
They were just there.