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100 Words A Day V: CN-pire Strikes Back

Chapter Text

Different

"Well, that was a pretty big six days."

Steven and Connie sat on the steps of the Beach House, the sun slowly rising. The Diamonds had just left, and if he was honest, Steven still hadn't quite compartmentalized everything that'd happened. It was still a blur, and he imagined he'd be having nightmares about grey, smiling gems for a while.

"You think they're actually good now?" asked Connie.

Steven shrugged.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see," he said, "I... I don't know, Connie. Everything's so different now."

Connie smiled, taking Steven's hand.

"Well," she said, "Maybe not everything..."

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Melancholy

Amethyst couldn't help but feel a weird sense of melancholy.

Everything was different now. Sure, the house was about the same - a little bigger, to make room for Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis - but everything was changing at breakneck speed. Pearl and Garnet were out helping their old friends readjust, her old Kindergarten had become a refugee camp for old Homeworld soldiers, and she was just...

...overwhelmed.

She knew it was selfish to miss the days when it was just them and the corrupted gems, but a dark part of her did.

She just... didn't know what to do with this.

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No Capes

"He's got a cape!" snapped Ronaldo, "He went and got a cape!"

"Yeah, you told me, Ronaldo," replied Peedee, "Fifty-six times."

"Why's he got a cape?" demanded Ronaldo, "He's a space pirate, Peedee! What if it gets caught in a airlock? What if somebody uses it to trip him up? What if it..."

"Ronaldo," asked Peedee wearily, "Is this long-winded conversation leading towards you claiming that you'd be a better space pirate than he would?"

"Uh-"

"It is? Cool, thanks," replied Peedee, "So unless you wanna buy a tater tot, please leave my van."

Ronaldo frowned and walked dejectedly away.

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No Strings

Pink Pearl doesn't remember too much - that's probably for the best - but occasionally there are flashes.

She fidgets, because standing still is wrong to her. She has to speak, to express herself, because in the back of her mind is the constant feeling of annihilated agency, of being caged in her own body...

But it doesn't matter now, she tells herself. She's free. So why does it still hurt?

"Heck, it creeps me out," Amethyst tells her, "And I was only under for, what, ten minutes?"

She puts a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay to still hurt about it."

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New Looks

"Check it, Amethyst!" Peridot strolled into the Beach House, pointing down at her outfit, "Three stars!"

Amethyst chuckled, sitting up on the couch.

"Surprised you didn't go for the star hair, 'Dot," she said.

"I considered it, but I like the symmetry of my hairstyle," replied Peridot, "I also like the... jorts that you've picked out."

Amethyst kicked up her leg.

"You like, huh? Took a little cue from Stev-o, reckon they look pretty rad..."

"Hey, wait a minute!"

They looked up. Steven was sitting up on his bed, looking confused.

"Why don't I get a new look?" he asked.

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Peedee's New Friend

"Morning Peedee... who's that?"

"Hey Jeff! That's my new friend, Padparadscha. Say hi, Paddy!"

"Oh my! I predict a sweet new boy named Jeff will introduce himself to me!"

"Aw, that's sweet... why's she talk like that?"

"She can predict the past."

"...cool. Anyway, I heard Steven and Connie were back, so I was wondering if you wanted to go check in with him? I..."

"I've just had a wondrous vision! I predict that Jeff is going to ask Peedee on... gasp! A date! How romantic!"

"Uh... I-I, well, I didn't mean... aw, heck, you wanna go out?"

"Heck yeah."

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Renegade Once More

What is she now, Pearl wonders. Is there any more need for a Terrifying Renegade Pearl?

Peace has come, but change is slow. The Diamonds and all their high-society gems have retained their pearls, even in the face of Steven's refusal to accept the situation. They tell him he doesn't understand - déjà vu, Pearl thinks.

Well, if Steven can't get through to them, maybe she can. Maybe she needs to go behind their backs. Maybe it's time to draw the spear one last time.

After all, it's not like a planet's worth of pearls are going to free themselves.

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Sketches

Greg had bought her a little warehouse just outside Beach City to act as a gallery. Blue had been confused at first - Pearls didn't get these things - but she soon got used to it.

Slowly, she filled the room up with sketches of everything she could think of - some of it, eventually, was even coloured. She drew Steven and Connie. She drew the Boardwalk. She drew Yellow. She drew 'vent art' of her former Diamond's unpleasant side.

But her favourite was a simple one - four Pearls, hanging out together. Just her, Yellow, Pink and White, on the beach.

Being free.

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Modelling

"I thought we could have something to do together," said Pink, pressing her fingers together, "And Steven said you liked modelling, so... I bought this."

"Pink, I'm... flattered," replied Yellow, "But..."

She looked over the box - the label read '00 Scale Train Set - Flying Scotsman.'

"...this isn't the kind of modelling he had in mind."

Pink frowned.

"Oh."

"I-I mean I guess I could try it," added Yellow, "I-i-if you want me too. It... it could be fun."

Pink smiled.

"I'd like that."

Suddenly, the door burst open. Doug Maheswaran, covered in sweat, raced inside.

"Did somebody say model trains?!"

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The Beach

Pink Pearl lay on the beach, staring up at the fluffy white clouds. She closed her eye for a moment, breathing in - it was a beautiful moment, and it was all hers.

"Hello, Pink."

Pink opened her eye. Pearl, Blue and Yellow were standing over her, the former smiling gently.

"Is there room for three more?" she asked.

Pink smiled back.

"Yes," she replied, "There is."

Pearl grinned and lay down next to Pink, Blue and Yellow laying down either side of them. Pink put her arms around Pearl and Blue and sighed contentedly.

"I like this planet," she muttered.

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Scars

Sometimes Pink's arms hurt. It's not excruciating but it's a sort of ache, as if they've been stuck in one place for a long time. A phantom pain, Dr. Maheswaran calls it.

It's something the other pearls don't understand, though they try their hardest to. Garnet doesn't either. Support, in the end, comes from a surprising place.

"I get what you mean," Amethyst says, "I... 'kay, don't tell the others this, but I kinda have nightmares about the whole thing."

Pink nods. "About how everything you are is..."

"Stolen." Amethyst frowns. "Violated."

She smiles.

"You wanna talk, Pink, I'm here."

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Giant Woman

The Pearl is tall - taller than the house, so thank the stars they fused outside. She stands on the house, vaguely hearing Steven's excitement about her existence.

Part of her is shocked, terrified - this is not on on Homeworld. But a larger part of her is exhilarated, excited, amazed at being her and defying those norms.

Slowly, a smile forms on her face, and they kneel down.

"Hello, Steven," she says.

"Hi, Giant Pearl!" exclaims Steven, "Or are you just Pearl? Mega Pearl?"

The Pearl grins, letting Steven onto her hand and lifting him to eye level.

"I'm Rainbow Pearl."

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The Outfit

Yellow looked in the mirror and grinned, experimentally twirling to show off the outfit. She then turned to Steven, Connie and Blue, who stood at the bathroom door.

"What do you think?"

Steven gave a thumbs up, and Connie nodded.

"Gotta say," said Connie, "I didn't expect you to pick out a suit - but it really works!"

"Yeah!" added Steven, "You look dapper!"

Yellow's grin widened as she tightened the tie of the pale yellow suit.

"What about you, Blue?"

Blue visibly blushed and drew her holographic pad.

"I... can I draw it?" she asked.

Yellow smirked.

"Blue, I insist."

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Nightmares

"So I can't sleep anymore."

Steven nodded as Amethyst spoke up, sprawled against the back of his bed.

"Nightmares?" he asked.

"Yeah," replied Amethyst, "About everything I am just being... sucked out. And then I'm there, but... I'm empty, you know? What's me is just..."

She shrugged.

"What about you?"

"It's always White," Steven replied, "Her fingers are around my gem - you're all puppets, but so are Lapis, Peridot and Bismuth... Connie's screaming and then... darkness."

"You think we need therapy or something, dude?" asked Amethyst humourlessly.

Steven shrugged.

"We can talk to each other," he replied, "That's a start."

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Forgiveness

"I can't forgive them," said Bismuth, "I know they helped us, and yeah, sure, that's great, but I can't forgive them."

Pearl nodded as they sat in the forge.

"I know," she replied, "I... I try to for Steven, but..."

"To them," Bismuth muttered darkly, "You were an object."

"Yes," sighed Pearl, "I was."

She pursed her lips.

"And what Steven tells me," she added, "About White Diamond... controlling us... it doesn't affect me, but the thought..."

Bismuth nodded.

"It's wrong," she agreed.

She put an arm around Pearl.

"But it's over now," she said, "Hopefully, they're never coming back..."

Chapter Text

E-Sports

Connie struggled not to laugh as she read the Freddit thread. Every post, every user spat vitriol on the page, screaming in rage at this upstart team that dared to challenge their dominance of the e-sports scene.

"How's this funny?" asked Steven, confused, "Aren't they just being mean?"

"Steven, look at 'em," replied Connie, "Gunnergunman64. Manly Man Manson. NoGirlsAllowed. Robbie Valenti... okay, that's just a normal name. But they think women aren't allowed to play video games."

"But that's silly."

"Yeah," nodded Connie, "But the funny thing is? All their teams got beaten."

She grinned.

"Beaten by the Pearl Squad."

Chapter Text

The Letter

Greg looked over the letter in his hands - the return address read 'DeMayo residence,' and the handwriting was clearly that of his mother.

They generally sent a letter once every few years, a sneering message about his 'failed musical career', how he'd never amounted to anything, and how he should've just done as his parents had told him. But this was different - the tone was civil, and it asked if he'd come around and show them his 'little boy.'

He shook his head and dumped the letter in the trash can. Steven had a caring family - he didn't need theirs.

 

Chapter Text

Late

"...ugh... just a little... finally!"

Blue Zircon emerged into White Diamond's chamber, Yellow Zircon right behind. It had been a long and dangerous trek, but finally they were here, ready to back up Steven in his...

...wait, where was Steven?

Blue Zircon spied a Topaz nonchalantly sweeping the floor and called out to her.

"Uh... where's the Crystal Gems?" she called, "And White Diamond?"

"Oh, they sorted things out weeks ago," replied the Topaz, "They're cool now."

Blue Zircon blinked.

"...oh."

She turned to Yellow Zircon.

"So what do we do now?"

"We could always just make out."

"Okay."

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Ghost Train

The old railroad had been gone for years - ripped up in the early 1950s - but some of Connie's classmates swore a ghost train passed through.

She didn't believe it - not until now.

She'd just been following this kid down a dirt track - she'd slipped, tumbled down an embankment, blacked out - now he was leaning over her, and behind him was a steam locomotive, hissing steam.

"What happened?" she muttered.

"You fell," the boy said simply.

"Oh... well, thanks for catching me, uh..."

"Steven." The boy frowned. "And I didn't."

He swallowed.

"I'm a ghost," he said, "And so are you."

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Outfits

"Why do the Gems wear the same clothes all the time?"

Peedee's question was simple but it caught Steven off guard.

"Well," he replied, "They... they, uh... um..."

He shrugged.

"You know what?" he replied, "I don't know. I guess it just never occurs to them that..."

"Hey."

Lapis strolled past the Tater Tot truck, wearing a blue hoodie, skirt and wellington boots.

"Lapis?" asked Steven, "Why're you dressed like that?"

Lapis shrugged.

"I dunno, felt like it. Wanna come for a walk?"

Steven pondered for a moment. Then he shrugged - Lapis could wear what she liked, he guessed.

"Okay!"

Chapter Text

A Normal Life

Greg lay on his back in the back of the van, listening to the rain and rifling through an old photo album.

He'd been asked once if he wished Steven's life was normal - if it was just them and Rose and a white picket fence somewhere, a perfect nuclear family like the Maheswarans.

Perhaps it would be safer, Greg thought, and easier on his heart and hair, but a Steven who hadn't grown up with the Crystal Gems, with magic and adventure? He just wouldn't be the Steven he loved, would he?

So no, Greg wouldn't change a single thing.

Chapter Text

A Small Family

"I don't have a big family," Greg shrugged as he looked at his cards.

Barb raised an eyebrow.

"...you're jokin', right?" she asked at last.

"What?" replied Greg, "I've got Steven and Andy - I don't really talk to anyone else."

Now it was Vidalia's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Garnet," she said, "Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth. And heck, Garnet's actually Ruby and Sapphire, so she counts as two..."

"Plus Connie," Barb continued, "Which means Doug and Priyanka too."

"I... yeah, but..."

Greg bit his lip.

"Geez," he muttered, "I think I've accidentally got a new family..."

"Oh, ya think?"

Chapter Text

Famethyst on Earth

Apparently they were part of Steven's court now - which meant Steven was able to get them sent away from the Zoo to Earth. Suddenly, Beach City was full of quartzes.

The Amethysts loved their new home - 'the Bits' soon proved quite popular, and one could find many of them hanging around Peedee's truck - Vidalia often hung around and painted them. Meanwhile, Skinny and Carnelian got into music, and became regulars at Sadie's concerts.

Some people came up to Amethyst at times - "Are they your family?" she'd ask.

Amethyst would grin and put an arm over Steven's shoulders.

"They're our family."

Chapter Text

Mom

Steven had never accidentally called anyone 'mom'. Mothers, after all, were things other people had - his was long gone, and his feelings about her were more than a little complicated.

He'd never accidentally called anyone 'mom' - until now.

He sat in the van, face red as they drove away from the Maheswaran house.

"I can't believe it," he muttered at last, "I called Doctor Maheswaran mom."

"It make sense," shrugged Greg, "You probably picked it up from Connie."

"B-but she probably thinks I'm a big..."

"Steven," Greg chuckled, "Don't worry about it! Honestly..."

He ruffled his hair.

"...she's probably flattered."

Chapter Text

Phoning Home

"...Andy, I know what marriage is, and that ain't marriage."

Andy swallowed as he listened to his uncle's voice on the other end of the line. He already regretted telling him about the wedding - but he'd been asked what he'd been up to, and Andy DeMayo was no liar.

"Look, I... times have changed, and you-"

"Greg's boy," his uncle interrupted, "He was there?"

"He, uh... he officiated," replied Andy, "'Cause, uh, they were sort of mother..."

"Right, I see," his uncle replied, "Tell Greg we're coming."

"But-"

"He can't raise a boy right - so we'll have to do it."

Chapter Text

Our Next Caller

When Bill Dewey called into Delmarva FM and spent half an hour gushing about how much he liked Sadie Killer and the Suspects, everybody had a good laugh.

After all, the man was completely incapable of identifying what genre of music it was, or indeed what a genre was in the first place. His other favourite bands were all forty years old, he was hopelessly bewildered by the concept of the Charts, and was about as hip as disco.

So why did he love this new, edgy band?

"My son's in it," he replied earnestly, "That's why it's my favourite."

Chapter Text

Pink's Family

"Do you ever think it's weird that the Rebellion started over a family feud?" asked Amethyst, lounging against the end of Steven's bed.

"I don't really think it was," replied Steven, pausing his game.

"Hmm?"

"Mom didn't leave her family," explained Steven, "Because she found Pearl, Garnet and Bismuth. She found you, she found Dad. In the end, she chose her own family."

"From the people who gave a crud about what she wanted," nodded Amethyst, "But ain't family supposed to be, like, blood or something?"

Steven shook his head.

"I think that's the only thing family isn't," he replied.

Chapter Text

The More Things Change...

"You know," said Steven, "I've been thinking."

"Yeah?" asked Connie.

"We've been through so much lately," Steven continued wistfully, "There was the Zoo, and then I gave myself up to Homeworld, Lapis left, Sadie and the Cool Kids formed a band, we went to the Jungle Moon, I found out Mom was Pink Diamond, Garnet got married, the Diamonds attacked, Lapis came back, we went to Homeworld again, I got the Diamonds to heal the corrupted gems... so much has happened."

"So much has changed," nodded Connie.

"And yet," added Steven, "And yet... Crying Breakfast Friends is still on hiatus."

Chapter Text

No Man's Land

The Private hides in a shell crater as the German machine guns fire over him. He knows the only escape is nightfall, and if the artillery starts again-

The world turns pink, and the sound is dulled. He looks up, clutching his rifle - he sees a woman in a dress, a fierce expression on her face.

"Where is their headquarters?" she demands, "Ludendorff... has my friend."

"I... thirty miles behind their lines, north west," the Private replies, "Is... is you an angel?"

The woman smiles.

"I'm Rose."

When the Private gets back to Hackney, that's what he'll name his daughter.

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Pictures

"Connie, look! Garnet's sent pictures from her honeymoon!"

Connie looked at the pictures in Steven's hands. There stood Garnet, posing in front of the Clock Tower in London. He turned to the next - Garnet in front of the Eiffel Tower. Garnet on the Rialto Bridge. Garnet and the TGV. Garnet... just Garnet, actually. It seemed she was the focus of most of the pictures.

"A lot of photos of herself," she noted.

Steven grinned.

"Ruby and Sapphire love each other, so she loves herself," he replied.

There was a moment's silence.

Suddenly, Stevonnie was there, preparing to take a selfie.

Chapter Text

The Thoughts of a Recently Pink Sadie

She doesn't mind living forever.

Certainly it promises to be painful. Her mother won't live forever, after all, nor will her friends. She stands to lose so very much, so very much indeed. Heck, she might even lose the Earth - even it might not last as long as her.

But she doesn't mind living forever, because she won't be alone.

Yeah, the gems will stick around, and so will Steven, but more than that, she'll have Lars. Beautiful, dorky, occasionally frustrating Lars, always by her side whatever happens. That's a pretty good deal.

She doesn't mind living with Lars forever.

Chapter Text

Style

Spess doesn't have a visor. She thought about getting one - maybe a gold one? - but she's decided against it.

Why? Well, it's quite simple. She likes her friends to be able to see her eyes. See, she gets a little uncomfortable sometimes when she can't decipher expressions, and she doesn't want her friends to have that problem. And seeing someone's eyes helps with that, she's heard.

So no visor for her. But that's fine, it's not her style.

She does get a pink scarf from Kiki, though, which she wears sometimes. That? That's a gift, so very much her style.

Chapter Text

The Little Things

It's the little things that make life worthwhile.

Greg sits on the steps up to the deck one sunny morning, his son only recently returned from Homeworld. Steven dozes, leaning against his arm, and he quietly tunes his guitar and takes in the warm sun.

These moments are his favourite - for a while, he was afraid he'd never have them again; that his son would be lost forever on Homeworld.

But it's okay. They made it. He's not going anywhere. He's safe.

Greg looks up at the fluffy white clouds and smiles.

It's the little things that make life wonderful.

Chapter Text

Cryptids

"Okay," said Connie, "So you were the Loch Ness Monster, you were Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman, the Mothman..."

"Don't forget the Bunyip!" added Amethyst, "People forget that one 'cause its Australian, but that was fun!"

"Yeah," nodded Connie, "Are there any cryptids that weren't just you messing with people?"

"There's a place in Oregon that has a lot of weird stuff that wasn't me," shrugged Amethyst, "Apart from that... Baba Yaga was Garnet, I think?"

"Garnet?!"

"Master of comedy," replied Amethyst, "Oh, and I'm not the chupacabra, the Grafton Monster or Roy Cohn."

She smirked.

"But yeah, I have fun."

Chapter Text

High School

"Man, I wish I got to go to high school."

Sadie scoffed at Amethyst's words, shaking her head.

"You don't," she replied, "High school is hell, Amethyst. Especially if you don't fit in."

"Yeah, but I'm a gem, so I can beat up all the jerks," said Amethyst.

"And get expelled?" Sadie raised an eyebrow.

Amethyst chuckled.

"Nah, you're lucky," Sadie continued, "You never have to go there... never have to be called short or fat or..."

Amethyst put a hand on her shoulder.

"Aw, c'mon, Donut Girl," she said kindly, "Ignore the jerks! You're great the way you are..."

Chapter Text

College

Amethyst has been in college for two days, and she's already considering quitting, running off to Nepal and living as a goat.

She's convinced, completely convinced, that there is nothing that can make any of this worth-

"There is insufficient seating, so I'm sitting next to you."

The short, bespectacled girl plants herself onto the seat next to her, pulls out her tablet, and starts playing a Camp Pining Hearts tie-in app.

Amethyst stares, blinking blandly. The girl glances over.

"What?" she asks irritably.

"Uh... nothing."

She mutters - "Clod." - and returns to her tablet.

Shoot, thinks Amethyst, I'm in love.

Chapter Text

Antimony

Antimony, the fusion of Amethyst and Bismuth, was talking to herself with her two mouths.

"So I said to 'Dot, Geez Louise, girl! You gotta loosen up 'bout this shippin' biz..."

"Oh yeah, she did not like that."

"She blew a fuse! Like watchin' a firework go off! Although the little doll's adorable when she's mad."

"No wonder Amethyst's sweet on her."

"And Bismuth ain't?"

Steven and Garnet glanced at each other.

"Is this normal for fusions?" asked Steven, scratching his hair.

There was a long silence.

"Yes," said Garnet at last, "Except usually I do it in my head."

Chapter Text

Worn

Amethyst lay face down on the coach, occasionally groaning and muttering to herself.

"Are you okay?" asked Pearl, kneeling down next to her.

Amethyst grunted something that sounded vaguely similar to a swear - Pearl made herself pretend it wasn't.

"What happened?"

Amethyst looked up.

"Spent the day with the fam," she replied, "They're awesome, but they play rough. I'm beat."

Her head slammed back down on the couch. Pearl massaged her back sympathetically.

"You just rest," she said kindly.

"I don't wanna be social for, like, a billion weeks," she muttered wearily.

"Yeah," said Lapis, strolling by, "That's a mood."

Chapter Text

Sad

"Amethyst?" Peridot's voice was uncharacteristically flat.

"Everything okay, Peridot?" asked Amethyst.

"Is it normal to feel sad for no reason?"

Amethyst thought back as memories ran through her - memories of being alone at the Kindergarten, of being the 'baby' of the Crystal Gems, of being inadequate, of being small. Memories of the slightest reminder of those things setting her into a funk. Long hours in her room, on her back, staring at nothing.

She pulled Peridot into a hug.

"Aw, c'mere Peri," she said, "It's totally normal."

"Really?" Peridot croaked.

"Yeah, really," replied Amethyst kindly, "I'm here for you, 'Dot."

Chapter Text

Are We There Yet?

Amethyst sat in the back of the Dondai - Steven and Pearl were in the front, Connie was next to her. They were going to a con - Pearl had decided to try a road trip.

As Amethyst leaned forward, Pearl realised this may have been a bad idea.

"Hey P," asked Amethyst, "Question for ya. We there yet?"

"Amethyst, you have asked that fifteen times," replied Pearl, her voice dangerously calm.

"Yeah, cool, but are we there-"

"NO!" bellowed Pearl, "WE'LL NEVER BE THERE! THIS CAR IS NOW OUR HOME!"

A long silence.

"Cool, I've never lived in a car before..."

Chapter Text

Bully

"Hey, you."

Kevin turned around. Amethyst stood behind his bar stool, a deep, dangerous scowl on her face. Her whip was out - Kevin looked disdainfully at the weapon.

"This ain't that kind of club, shortie."

"Did you," said Amethyst very calmly, "Make fun. Of Pink's Eye?"

She pointed to Pink Pearl, who was sitting in a booth looking very sad.

"Yeah," replied Kevin, "The heck are you gonna d- AAAAH!"

Amethyst bound him with her whip, swinging him up and then rapidly back down onto his head.

"Just asking," she spat.

She walked back to Pink, dusting off her hands.

Chapter Text

The Funeral

It had taken them fourteen years to get around to it, but finally they buried Rose Quartz.

Well, not literally - there was no body - but a funeral was held. It was sparsely attended; White didn't leave Homeworld and Bismuth couldn't face going. It was just Steven, Greg, the original Crystal Gems, Yellow and Blue.

When it ended, Yellow left first, as Steven expected - her grief was private. In the end, only he, Greg and Blue remained at the headstone.

"Think it'll ever stop hurting?" sighed Greg.

"No," replied Blue, "Never."

Greg nodded.

"Good. That's how we know we loved her."

Chapter Text

The Rally

Pearl stood in the crowd, frowning at the deafening cries and shouts all around. Above her, on the podium, she could see him - she knew she'd get just one shot.

The man stop talking - or perhaps screaming - and the crowd erupted, hands shooting up into the air. Pearl nodded. This was it.

She began to run, effortlessly pushing through the crowd, before leaping over the guards. Up she went, higher than any human, until she was above the podium.

"My name is Pearl!" she bellowed, "And this is for you!"

She soared gracefully down, her fist slamming into Hitler's nose.

Chapter Text

Language

Peedee and Jeff lay on the grass, staring up at the fluffy white clouds.

"Hey Peedee?" said Jeff.

"Yeah Jeff?"

"If the gems are space aliens, and they have their own written language and alphabet, why do they speak English?" asked Jeff.

Peedee shrugged.

"Sci-fi translation science or something?" he replied, "Magic? I dunno. Does it matter?"

"Yeah, true," nodded Jeff, "Maybe I'm just nitpicking, and I should really just shrug and let it go. Maybe they speak English because... they do."

"Yeah."

There was a long silence.

"We'd be the worst scientists," said Jeff.

"Oh heck yeah," said Peedee.

Chapter Text

Tetris

Peridot stared at the screen, her eyes red and dark-rimmed.

"She's been playing that game for three days," said Pearl, looking worriedly at the green gem on the laptop.

"Yeah, she's beating the crud out of it!" replied Amethyst, "I can't even see the blocks anymore, but she's still going! It's awesome!"

"But is it healthy?" asked Pearl.

Amethyst shrugged.

The Temple door opened, and Lapis stepped out. She waved towards Peridot.

"How's it going, Peridot?" she asked.

"I can see time," said Peridot, her voice a dull monotone.

"Sure, cool," nodded Lapis, "Talk to you sometime next year, then?"

Chapter Text

Replicator Wand

"You let Amethyst and Peridot borrow a replicator wand?!" exclaimed Pearl, clutching her head, "Do you have any idea of what they could do with it?!"

"Eh," Lapis shrugged, "If it gets out of hand, we just break the wand. What's the worst that could happen?"


 

Lars strolled down the street. How he loved these normal days.

"Hey Lars!" said Sadie as she passed him.

"Hey Sadie."

"Hey Lars!" said Sadie as she passed him.

"Hey Sadie."

"Hey Lars!" said Sadie as she passed him.

"He- wait, what?"

He watched the parade of Sadies pass him.

"...yep, alcohol it is!"

Chapter Text

The Forbidden Song

"Before you come on the family road trip," said Priyanka, handing Steven a sheet of paper, "You need to know - the songs on that list are banned."

"Banned?" quizzed Steven, "But what's wrong with... They Might Be Giants?"

"Have you ever listened to Doug and Connie sing Particle Man?"

"No."

"Do you want to hear them sing it over and over again for four hours?"

"Uh..."

"Exactly," said Priyanka, "For your sanity and mine, it's banned."

Not far away, Doug was sweeping the floor. He looked left and right, before lifting the mat and quietly taking the 'Particle Man' tape...

Chapter Text

Ame's Anatomy

"What'cha doin'?" asked Amethyst, strolling into Vidalia's garage.

"I'm practicing anatomy," replied Vidalia, looking up from her easel.

Amethyst tilted her head.

"Looks like you're just drawing naked people, dude," she said.

"Yeah," replied Vidalia, "It helps you understand how the human body works - what bodies are shaped like, how they move, all that stuff. It's actually really helpful."

Amethyst nodded.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" she asked.

"Sure!" replied Vidalia, "It'd be my pleasure, Amethyst."


INEVITABLY.


"AMETHYST?! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!" Pearl screamed, looking at the giant painting of Peridot.

"Practicing anatomy," shrugged Amethyst.

Chapter Text

The Dust Bowl

Ruby walked west, the sun beating over her. Every part of her felt like it was caked in dirt - she had been forced out by the Dust Bowl.

There was a cloud of dust, and a car pulled up next to her. The window rolled down.

"Howdy ma'am," nodded Ruby,

The woman, eyes covered by bangs, smiled.

"Need a lift?"

"I don't reckon a rich woman such as yourself..."

The woman smiled.

"Sapphire," she said, "And it's no problem. Where are you headed?"

"Anywhere but here."

"How about Los Angeles?"

Ruby smiled.

"Miss, that sounds like a might fine idea..."

Chapter Text

Broken Seer

Sapphires generally believed that their destiny, and the destiny of all things, was preordained. All beings had their place, their purpose, and all Sapphires could see that place and purpose. They were infallible seers, and their predictions were almost never wrong.

Then one Sapphire met a Ruby.

Now fate - not just for her, but for all things - was elastic. It shifted and turned, certainties shattered by decisions and actions that were unguided by the rigid order of Homeworld,

The chains of fate, of destiny, were forever broken.

In more ways then she could know, her Ruby had set Sapphire free.

Chapter Text

British Expeditionary Force

She met Sapphire in a little French border town in the winter of '39.

It was quiet back then - in America they called it the Phony War. That left Private Ruby plenty of time to get to know her new acquaintance. Soon they were friends. Soon they were inseparable. Soon they were more.

But war waits for no-one. In May, the BEF rolled to meet the Germans. Before long, they rolled right back again, towards Dunkirk.

Ruby saw Sapphire once more as Rommel closed in - she promised to come back.

She did, in '44, but there was no Sapphire waiting.

Chapter Text

A Tale of Greece and Rome

Two thousand years ago, there lived two women in Rome called Rubia and Sapphira, and they were in love.

These were not the best times to be in love, mind. Julius Caesar lay dead, and the country was divided between the supporters of Octavian and the supporters of Brutus. And then there was Mark Antony, Octavian's ally, who believed Sapphira to be an Oracle.

And so Rubia and Sapphira fled the Roman capital, and they traveled to Greece to find someone who would hide them from Antony's wrath.

And therein they found shelter with a daughter of a god - Rose.

Chapter Text

Broken Trust

"Ruby!" exclaimed Sapphire, reaching for the door, "I'm sorry! Please, come back!"

Ruby looked back, a look of utmost betrayal on her face.

"I'm sorry, Sapphire," she replied, "But I can never forgive this. Goodbye."

She turned, walking out the door and slamming it behind her. Sapphire wailed, falling onto her hands and knees. Five thousand years, and it all ended like this.

At this point, Pearl emerged. Her eyes widened at the sight - she looked to Amethyst in horror.

"What happened?!"

Amethyst held up a small object - a box labelled New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe.

"It's evil, man."

Chapter Text

Yin and Yang

One is fire, one is ice. One is hot, one is cold.

Ruby hums as she takes Sapphires hand, and they slowly begin to dance in the small clearing.

One's a soldier, one's a noble. One is passion, one is stoicism.

Sapphire hims now, her voice joining in harmony with the nervous red gem in front of her. She closes her eye and smiles.

One is now, one is tomorrow.

They begin to spin, and bright light fills the darkness.

One is red, one is blue.

Their forms merge, and the three-eyed fusion looks down at herself.

They are purple.

Chapter Text

Warmth

It took permafusing themself for Stevonnie to finally, truly understand Ruby and Sapphire.

Whenever they existed there was a constant warmth - one they'd never been able to put their finger on. Now they knew what Ruby and Sapphire had known for eons - that was love. The love between Steven and Connie that made them them, just as the love between Ruby and Sapphire made Garnet Garnet.

Love, of course, worked differently for everyone - Pearl and Bismuth, for example, were happy unfused - but for those two, they wanted to embrace that warmth forever.

And that was what made Garnet so amazing.

Chapter Text

Banned

NOTICE TO ALL GEMS

The Great Diamond Authority appreciates the increasing liberalisation of society by the lower orders. That said, the following human works are banned;

Les Miserables: for promotion of sedition and civic unrest.

Independence Day: xenophobic against non human life forms. (Yes, we know we're hypocritical here but that's not the point.)

Guns, Germs and Steel: deeply flawed anthropology and historiography (and also boring friend to Pink Diamond Connie Maheswaran.)

It: clowns are also banned.

Footloose: dangerous message to kindergarteners - gems should not be 'cut loose'. They should be cut to exacting standards.

Atlas Shrugged: it's Atlas Shrugged.

Chapter Text

Waiting

For the eighteenth time in ten minutes, Peridot refreshed the page on the fanfiction site.

"Yo, what's wrong, 'Dot?" asked Amethyst, strolling casually into the room.

"Ugh, these clods don't understand my magnum opus," snorted Peridot, "It's been up for ten whole minutes and I haven't got a single 'kudos', favourite or comment!"

Amethyst glanced at the title - Percy and Pierre's Intimate Interaction.

"My research indicated that this 'citrus fruit' fan fiction would be popular," grumbled Peridot.

Amethyst chuckled.

"Give it time, Peridot," she replied, "People are gonna love it!"

"Of course they will," Peridot snapped haughtily, "I wrote it!"

Chapter Text

Ten Thousand Years

Ten thousand years later, and there's only two gems left at the Temple - Stevonnie and Lapis Lazuli.

(Steven and Connie? They're words that mean everything to Stevonnie, yet they havn't said them in a few centuries.)

The mission of the Crystal Gems is completed. One by one, each has drifted away - it just so happened that Lapis drifted back. They still see their family all the time - they're only ever a warp pad away.

There's no war, no corrupted gems, no threats. They are, in a sense, retired.

They're alone. They're together. At long last, they have their happy ending.

Chapter Text

Internet Shaming

Peridot sat hunched over the counter, forlornly tracing her finger on the surface. Amethyst sat next to her, hand on her back. Her tablet sat next to her, still open to the post.

"Am I really a bad person?" she asked quietly.

"You're not, Peri," replied Amethyst firmly, "They're just a douche."

The door opened - Stevonnie and Lapis walked in.

"Peridot?" asked Stevonnie, "What's wrong?"

"Some troll made a callout post 'bout her," replied Amethyst.

Lapis glanced at the tablet.

"Jerk," she muttered.

Stevonnie smiled.

"It's okay, Peridot," they said, "We know you're a good person - we've got your back."

Chapter Text

Songs

"It's kind of hard introducing the Off-Colors to new music," said Lars.

"What do you mean?" asked Sadie.

"Well, they take things too literally," replied Lars, "Like..."


 


"This poor human!" exclaimed Rhodonite, "He doesn't know what love is!"

"Yeah, and he wants us to show him," added Left-Rutile.

"Will that be hard?" asked Right-Rutile.

"Weeee'lllllll juuuuuusssst hhhaaaaaavvvvveeee tooooo fiiiiiiiind hiiiiiiiiim," said Flourite, "Theeeeen IIIIIIIIII caaaaaan shooooooow hiiiiiim..."

"I predict he won't know what love is," said Padparadscha.



"I had to explain that he didn't mean them specifically."

He shrugged.

"Still better than 'Light My Fire.' That was a complete disaster..."

Chapter Text

The Long Sleep

Yellow didn't take Stevonnie to a cell - White Diamond intervened part of the way through.

"Perhaps," she said, "It would be best to let Pink rest until this is all settled, hmm?"

So they were put into stasis, sleeping peacefully in a little chamber. The other Crystal Gems were managed - the Ruby sent to a new squad, the Sapphire back to Blue's court, the Amethyst to the Zoo. The Pearl was quietly reset.

Colonisation of Earth was resumed under Yellow's command.

And eventually, when all was calm again, Stevonnie awoke.

"How long was I out?"

White smiled.

"Only 7000 years."

Chapter Text

Jury Duty

"I didn't even know Gems could get called for jury duty," mused Greg, looking over the official-looking letter.

"It's a new law," replied Garnet.

"But... but they can't put Amethyst on a jury!" exclaimed Pearl, "Who knows what might happen!"

ONE WEEK LATER, AT THE BEACH CITY COUNTY COURT HOUSE

"So he drove his car into a grocery store, stole all the mentos and the Diet Coke, led police on a chase to Ocean Town, and then blew up the town square with a mentos-cola bomb," said Kofi, "What's out verdict?"

Amethyst chuckled.

"Uh, totally not guilty, 'cause that's freaking hilarious."

Chapter Text

Ruby and Sapphire 1848

Sapphire meets the young firebrand in those explosive February days, waving the tricolour on a Parisian barricade.

Her name is Ruby. She grew up on stories of the storming of the Bastille and the First Republic, and her enthusiasm for democracy is matched by a disdain for the Napoleons and Louises of the world.

They hit it off immediately, a whirlwind romance lived in the heady days of the fall of King Louis-Philippe. They promise to fight, to make the world a place worthy of their love.

One day, their path will lead them to a man named John Brown...

Chapter Text

Pearl 1848

Silence.

Pearl sits in her cell at Port Arthur and thinks about how she got here. She wears a hood, and there is to be no sound - save for the boots of the bored redcoat guard.

In the darkness, she remembers home. She was a Chartist; an activist for suffrage (although she demanded suffrage for women as well as men.) She'd been arrested for agitation, escaped twice, and was consequently sent to Van Dieman's Land for 'the rest of her natural life.'

The silence is unbearable. It's supposed to help her reflect.

All she knows is that she misses Bismuth.

Chapter Text

Amethyst and Peridot 1848

It's a beautiful night, and the fireworks light the sky. For tonight, Venice is free.

Amethyst and Peridot are out on a gondola on the Grand Canal, and they laugh and hug with jubilation, for they dare to believe the Austrians are gone forever, and the Most Serene Republic might be restored.

Peridot deflates momentarily, and she wonders aloud how long this can last. Austria has field armies and cannon aplenty, and what does Venice have? But Amethyst reinvigorates her with a deep kiss, and she decides these grim political possibilities can wait until tomorrow.

For tonight, Venice is free.

Chapter Text

Bismuth 1848

In London, Bismuth sits in a coffee shop and thinks. She misses Pearl, transported to Van Dieman's Land. As soon as she can, she is resolved to follow.

But for now, she reads this fascinating book.

She sips her coffee, deep in thought. Nearby, she hears worried men discussing the recent rebellion in Prague. She can't help but smile - the poor, repressive Hapsburg Empire, humbled by the people at last.

She glances at her book and grins. A new inspiration runs through her soul as she reads.

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Chapter Text

Jasper 1848

Meet the new boss - in this case, Zachary Taylor. Same as the old boss, Jasper thinks.

Will he stop those damned kidnappers, catching freedmen in the north and selling them in the south? Will he stop the big plantation owners from expanding into California and New Mexico and Kansas? Will he stand up to them, fight for common decency, for the ideals this nation is supposedly founded on?

Will he heck.

The sun beats down, and for a moment Jasper thinks of all them revolutions in Europe. Nothing for her, it seems.

Life on the plantation continues unabated.

For now.

Chapter Text

Sadie and Lars 1848

There's a flag flying over the barricade - it's red, yellow and black. The Prussian Army fires, but the flag flies true.

Sadie doesn't want to fight. She doesn't want to handle a gun. But times like these force her hand, for it's stand or perish for the Berlin revolutionaries. She's just finished reloading when a Prussian soldier scales the barricade - startled, she fires.

She recognises the face. He was a schoolmate, a lover, once a fiancé.

Now, Lars falls lifelessly from the barricade, and Sadie stares in horror at the smoking gun in her hands.

Still, the flag flies true.

Chapter Text

Lapis and Stevonnie 1848

The island of St. Helena is a world away from the great changes of 1848 - but it too has it's fair share of excitement at times...

"...a sea serpent," said Lapis skeptically.

"I swear!" Stevonnie replies, throwing their arms out," It was huge, and it swam around us for twenty minutes! Ask Captain McQuhae, he saw it too!"

"Right," nods Lapis, "Are you sure you hadn't all just gone collectively stir-crazy? It's a long voyage to here from the Cape, after all..."

"It's true! We saw it!"

Lapis chuckles, crosses her arms.

She supposes this is a slow news day.

Chapter Text

Onion In His Own Words

Muh muh muh muh. Muh muh muh. Muh muh muh muh muh.

Muh muh? Muh muh, muh muh muh muh muh. Muh muh muh. Muh muh. Muh muh muh!

Muh muh muh, muh, muh muh muh muh muh. Muh muh muh, muh.

Muh muh muh muh, muh muh muh muh muh muh muh. Muh muh, muh muh, muh, muh.

Muh muh muh muh muh muh, muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh, muh muh. Muh muh!

Muh. Muh. Muh.

Muh muh muh muh, muh muh. Muh muh muh muh, muh muh muh. Muh.

Muh. Muh. Muh. Muh. Muh.

Muh.

Chapter Text

Just Like Pink

Pink Pearl giggled as she watched Amethyst shove an entire hot dog into her mouth - she turned as she heard Pearl huff.

"Really, Amethyst, that's very immature," she grunted.

"I like it!" said Pink, "It reminds me of Pink Diamond!"

"Pink Diamond?" Pearl wrinkled her nose, "Pink, Rose was refined and elegant and... and she'd never... she'd really never make a scene..."

Amethyst swallowed hard, burped loudly and grinned at them, mouth covered in ketchup and mustard as she began to laugh. Pink laughed too - Pearl's face fell.

"Oh my stars," she muttered, "You... you're exactly like Pink Diamond was."

Chapter Text

How Not To End A Series

Jeff was fuming.

"Eight hundred issues!" he exclaimed, waving the comic in his hands, "Fifty years of lore, and that's how they end it? He was in a coma the whole time?! None of it actually happened?!"

Peedee nodded wearily, taking a bite of his sandwich - he'd been hearing about this all day.

"I think the writer's trying to be profound," mused Connie, "If he makes the whole thing a dream, everyone thinks it's all symbolic. He can pretend he's deep."

"But... but he threw everything out! Dozens of writers, dozens of arcs and..."

"Faux deep, Jeff - that's what sells."

Chapter Text

Bullying

"Hey Amethyst! Where's Bismuth?" asked Steven.

Amethyst shrugged.

"Well, she asked me what 'school' was," she replied, "And I said I only knew what Connie told me, and then she asked what a teacher was, I told her about Mr. Vought, and then she had to go for some reason."

"Huh," mused Steven, "I wonder what her..."

He trailed off.

"Oh... oh no!"


MEANWHILE


"You like bullying people, do you?" snapped Bismuth, "Well how 'bout I bully you?!"

She had attached Mr. Vought to a flagpole by the underpants, and slowly began to winch him up.

Behind her, Jeff saluted.

Chapter Text

Movement

Ever since they got home, Peridot had noticed that Amethyst had trouble keeping still.

She was rarely still at the best of times, but now she seemed to be moving something at all times - twirling a finger in her hair, rocking back and forth, blinking. It was almost distracting.

"You keep vibrating," she finally said.

"Hm?"

"You never stay still anymore," Peridot added.

"Oh, right, yeah," nodded Amethyst, "I dunno, guess I've felt fidgety lately, 'cause, y'know... everytime I stay still, I remember..."

Her voice cracked, ever so slightly.

"Why don't Garnet and Pearl, anyway?" she muttered, "Why just me?"

Chapter Text

Time Travel

"Steven! STEEEEEE-VEEEEEEN!"

Steven awoke with a start as Peridot jumped on his bed, clutching her head in sheer terror.

"Peridot? What... what's happening?" he asked sleepily.

"Steven, I've travelled back in time!" Peridot exclaimed, "I have to get back to the present before I cause an irreversible paradox! oh my stars, every second I'm here I risk destroying all of existence! I've doomed us all!"

Steven glanced at his clock.

"Uh, Peridot? How long did you travel back in time?"

"One hour," replied Peridot, "But why does that-"

"Peridot, it's just Daylight Savings ending."

Peridot blinked.

"You... can save daylight?"

Chapter Text

Tiny Trains

"So I introduced Pink Pearl to Doug," said Pearl, "I'm starting to think that might've been a mistake."

"Why's that, Pearl?" asked Connie.

"Well, he took her into the basement to show her his-"

Connie nearly choked.

"OH NO!"

MEANWHILE

Pink watched, her eyes shining, as the tiny trains rolled around in front of her. Doug was explaining what each one of them was, but she was barely listening - she was mystified by the tiny world.

"Can... can I build one?" she asked.

Doug smiled.

"Sure," he replied, "Anybody can!"

And that was how the Temple was filled with trains.

Chapter Text

Tax Returns

Greg tapped his pen against the table as he looked as his tax return papers.

"Hmm... dependents," he muttered, "Well, there's Steven, so... hmm, I do pay the bill for the Gems, how do I declare that?"

He looked around at the gems.

"Uh..." He glanced at Amethyst and Peridot. "Two children, uh... I guess Lapis, Pearl and Bismuth could be 'adult relatives', uh... do I count Garnet as a couple or a single person..."

He sighed, deciding to come back to it later and moving his pen down the page.

"How many LGBT tenants?"

He began to write.

"...all."

Chapter Text

Proper Families

"Come on, Greg, really," sniffed Mrs. DeMayo, clutching Steven's arm, "The boy needs both a mother and a father - you might be barely adequate, but you can't substitute a proper family for... this! I..."

Pearl stepped forward, her face red.

"I'm his mother," she snarled.

"And so am I," added Garnet.

"And I'm his sis!" shouted Amethyst.

Lion stood up and growled.

"What do you know about families?" demanded Mr. DeMayo.

"Families care about each other," replied Steven, "Families love each other!"

Greg stepped up, slapping Mrs. DeMayo's hand away.

"But then," he asked, "What do you know about families?"

Chapter Text

New Pet

"So Bismuth and I decided we wanted someone to care for," said Pearl, "Like Pumpkin or Cat Steven. So..."

"...we got our own pet!" declared Bismuth.

She held up a beautiful baby girl.

"Uh... Bismuth?" asked Greg, "Where did you get that?"

"At the baby shelter," replied Bismuth.

"Although they called it an orphanage," added Pearl, "Anyway, I figured since we did okay with Steven, why not have another baby?"

"I..." Greg blinked. "Okay, I guess I can't stop you..."

"She's also going to be called Steven," added Pearl.

"...except that," said Greg, "I can definitely stop you doing that."

Chapter Text

Temp Moms

"So," Mr. Vought sneered as he looked down at Connie, "Mother too busy to come in for Mother's Day, Maheswaran?"

"It's okay," replied Connie sweetly, "I brought some subs."

"Some... I-I beg your pardon-"

The door flew open and Bismuth barrelled in, Pearl and Garnet on her shoulders.

"What's up?" she cried, "We're temp moms!"

"Priyanka's at a conference, so we're taking over for today," added Pearl.

"Our career is in day-saving," said Garnet stoically.

There was a long silence.

"Holy crud, Connie's temp moms are so cool!" a kid exclaimed.

"I... uh..." Mr. Vought sighed. "No, not questioning this..."

Chapter Text

Amy and Pierrcy

Stevonnie held the tiny, long-haired, green gemling in their arms, grinning as they rustled her hair. Next to them, Lapis somewhat awkwardly held the short-haired purple one.

"Amy's really something, huh?" chuckled Stevonnie, bouncing the gemling.

"She sure is," nodded Amethyst, sipping her mug of antifreeze.

"And, uh, Pierrcy is, uh... also a thing," added Lapis uncomfortably.

"Yeah," nodded Peridot, "She loves her Aunt Lapis already, don't you Pierrcy?"

The purple gemling reached up at Lapis' nose.

"Lappeh! Lappeh!"

Lapis blushed.

"I..." She chuckled. "I guess I see the appeal."

She blinked.

"But yeah, she can see Auncle 'Vonnie now."

Chapter Text

I Don't Need You To Love Me...

Steven lay on the beach, looking up at the stars - Connie lay next to him, holding his hand. It had been a good birthday, all things considered, but he still felt contemplative.

"Sometimes I wish the Diamonds would come," he mused.

"To your birthday?" asked Connie.

Steven nodded.

"I know I'm not Pink," he said, "But I guess..."

He shrugged.

"...but then I think, so what? If they don't want to be family, fine! I've already got one. Does that make me a bad person?"

Connie smiled.

"Of course not - if they won't make the effort, they don't deserve you..."

Chapter Text

Thicker Than Water

"Family is blood," sniffed Mr. DeMayo as the cop pushed him into the back of his car, "You can't change that, boy."

Greg and Steven glanced at each other, then at the small crowd around them. Connie, fire in her eyes, clung to Steven's hand, sword in her other. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth gathered around, weapons drawn. Lion growled, huddled over Pumpkin and Cat Steven, and Priyanka, Doug and Andy conversed icily about the arrested grandparents.

"Well," said Steven, "I hope you change your mind. You could have such a nice family..."

He shrugged.

"Just like mine."

Chapter Text

Shopping

The clerk swallowed as Jasper stormed up to the counter, slamming the box on the polished surface. A comically small bag was draped over her arm.

"Pin- Steven needs these corned flakes," she growled, "Give them to me."

"W-w-will you be p-paying with cash or card?" the clerk asked nervously.

Jasper whipped out a credit card labelled 'Greg Universe.'

"Card," she snarled.

With a trembling hand, the clerk tapped the card. As soon as he did, Jasper snatched it back.

"Jasper..."

The clerk looked down. Steven was peeking out behind her.

"What do we say?"

"Ugh..." Jasper scowled. "Thank you."

Chapter Text

Snooze

"So, you think you're good at sleepin', huh Lapis?" asked Amethyst, sitting next to her with her arms crossed.

"I can sleep through anything Peridot does, so yeah," nodded Lapis.

"What's the longest you've slept?" said Amethyst, eyebrow raised.

"Two days."

"Hundred years."

"A hundred-" Lapis spluttered. "When?!"

"I got bored in a mission and lay down on this rock," replied Amethyst, "Decided to see how long I could do it to annoy Pearl. They made a fairytale about it!"

"Wait, you're sleeping beauty?!" Connie spluttered from across the room.

"More like sleeping hotness, am I right?"

She high-fived Lapis.

Chapter Text

The Farce Awakens

"Of course," sniffed Ronaldo, pacing outside the movie theatre, "Episode VIII completely missed the point of Star Wars, as any real fan would know."

"Ronaldo, we're not even here to watch Star Wars," said Peedee wearily, "Can you..."

"Connie!" Ronaldo waved as Steven and Connie approached. "Surely you can help me convince the public that the sequel trilogy is a travesty of..."

"...actually Rey's my favourite character," said Connie flatly, "And I really liked Last Jedi."

"We wrote a ten thousand word PoeFinn fic!" Steven added brightly.

Ronaldo blinked.

"I, uh..."

"Not a word, Ronaldo," Peedee warned, "Not a word..."

Chapter Text

Hearing Things

"Oh yeah," Amethyst grunted, "Lift that right up for me, Peridot."

Pearl looked up from the newspaper she was reading in her room, going pale.

"Oooh, it's prodigiously firm, Amethyst," replied Peridot, "Hold on, is it okay if I sample a taste?"

"Go right ahead, 'Dot."

Pearl jumped to her feet, racing to the door. She burst out into the house.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN STEVEN'S-"

She froze.

Peridot was licking a metal leg that was supporting a newly built table.

Pearl blinked.

"What, P?" asked Amethyst.

"I don't know why I let you two live here," sighed Pearl.

Chapter Text

Sleep

Steven lay in his bed, snuggled up to Connie.

At the end of their bed, Lion slumbered, keeping watch at his Steven's feet. Amethyst lay against him, using him as a pillow - she held Peridot in her arms, snoring softly,

Peri's extended hand gripped a sleeping Bismuth, who herself was curled up next to Pearl, who sleepily held Garnet's hand. Garnet rested her head against Greg's shoulders - the sleeping father rested a forgotten bagel in his hand, against Garnet's shoulder.

"Guys," said Lapis, looking up from the paper, "C'mon, it's 10am."

The only reply was a sleepy chorus of snores.

Chapter Text

Attraction

Pink Pearl watched the woman on stage, spellbound as she listened to the music. She felt something within her flutter at the sound of her instrument, the shape of her face...

Amethyst grinned, taking her hand.

"We can meet her when she's done," she said, 'If you want."

"Would... would that be okay?" asked Pink, blushing.

"Sure, Pink!" replied Amethyst, "Sadie will be thrilled to meet a new..."

"Oh, it's... it's not the singer," explained Pink, "It's... it's the human with the... bass? Is that right?"

"Jenny?"

Amethyst's grin widened.

"Heh, you got taste, P-P," she said, "You got taste..."