Before the Dawn
"It's time to face my father."
Serana's voice echoed in my mind as we walked up the path to the Fort. I was dreading those words, in all honesty, perhaps I'd been dreading them more than Serana herself. No, that certainly wasn't the case, but I still felt fear in the pit of my stomach. I'd face dragons and daedra, bandits, trolls, I had never felt this sort of fear. I'd always been exhilarated, thrilled by the fight. Recently, since joining the Dawnguard months ago, I'd felt more fear. I'd fought vampires before, felt the drain of their spells, but I knew I could beat them. This Harkon though. Serana. Valerica. They were something of a different nature. I considered Serana a good friend now, I knew she and her mother were trustworthy, but her father was a whole other case. Their powers far exceeded those of any vampire I'd ever fought, pairing that with such a desire to fulfill a prophecy, her father was a force I'd never faced.
His clan would not be simple to defeat.
There was more to my fear. I finally understood the words my father once said. 'You won't feel true fear until you've felt love.' He said these things to me as he lay dying, a deep wound with blood still pouring out. I didn't understand then. Now, every time I plunged myself into danger, no matter how hard I tried or how confident I was, I felt fear. I was afraid that I'd never be able to see that which I loved most again.
Stupid Agmaer, I would think. That stupid farmer's boy that caught up to me as I first stepped into Dayspring Canyon. He made me smile, he was sweet and had a kind heart. He'd managed to make me blush on more than one occasion. Though we spent little time together, I'd felt myself growing more attached to him. Whenever I set foot in the Fort, I'd make a beeline to speak to him before Isran could ship me out again. I was worried, worried that he'd be off fighting vampires and die, worried that I would die without telling him my true feelings. At long last, I'd returned and it was time to face the ending to this story. Whatever outcome, it was finally time to tell him how I felt. I didn't want to think of the worst outcome, I wanted only to let the world disappear, if only for a night. Not to mention more base needs, those that make us human. I wanted to feel him now, I ached for him. It made me feel selfish, that I would put off the fight for humanity for one night with him.
I remembered returning from the Soul Cairn. I'd done a selfish thing then, I hadn't wanted to sacrifice my strength by being partially soul trapped, so I'd asked Serana to turn me. When we got back, I'd stumbled into the Fort while everyone was asleep, it was a disgusting hunger I'd felt, it was making me half mad. He'd been awake, though I'd never gotten around to asking him why. He caught me immediately, it must've been my eyes. "You... You're a vampire..." he had gasped, keeping his voice low.
I didn't reply, I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut. I swore I could see his veins, the sweet blood that flowed through him, I wanted it so badly.
"Please.. We have to fix this. Isran will know how, I don't want to.. I don't want to kill you," he said, he put a hand on my cheek and force me to look up at him. "He'll help you."
"I won't make it," I said softly, trying desperately to control myself. "I'm so hungry Agmaer. I feel like I'm being ripped apart, I won't make it like this."
I remember the way he looked at me. It was not what I'd expected from a vampire hunter, the kindness in his eyes. He looked around and then pulled me to where Gunmar kept the trolls. Even the trolls were asleep that night, not ambling around restlessly like usual. "Agmaer, please, just kill me, I can't go on like this. I shouldn't have... It was the only way," I tried to explain.
He hushed me. "I've.. read about vampires," he said in a whisper. "I've been studying a lot, especially while you're gone. You.. You'll feel better if you feed, you'll make it to... Wherever Isran sends you if you feed."
"No, I can't do that to someone."
"You won't hurt someone," he said, "because you'll feed from me."
"No... Agmaer, I can't."
"You must. If I were to ever be ordered to kill you, I... I'd.. Just please do this," he said, holding my shoulders so tight it was hurting. "I can't lose you to this. We'll get you cured, but we can't let you fall into a hunger-crazed state."
It was so tempting. I felt sickened when I looked at the veins in his neck, the smooth skin was so thin... "Y-yes," I said, much too easily.
"Thank you," he replied with a sigh of relief. I was the one who should've thanked him. He lowered himself for me, tilting his head. Serana had said turning someone into a vampire was intimate, but she'd never said much about feeding. I wasn't turning Agmaer, but I felt such a hunger for not only blood, but for him. I pulled the shirt he was wearing, revealing the skin of his shoulder, knowing that if I left a mark, we'd both be in trouble. My newly grown fangs plunged into his skin and I felt the sweet blood start flowing into my mouth. He was as delicious as I'd been imagining this whole time. Agmaer groaned and grabbed my waist. The touch made me shiver slightly, but I continued drinking. Finally I felt my mind returning to clarity, I didn't feel sick anymore, I felt more energetic than ever before. I pulled away before I could take anymore and I held him as he stumbled.
"Agmaer," I started.
"Hush, August," he said softly. He put his thumb up to my lips and he brushed away a drip of blood. He kept his thumb up and I licked the blood. "Please, go to Isran before the others wake up. I know he had contacts, I've heard of people who've cured vampirism. If anyone knows, it'll be him." He gave me a gentle smile.
"You need to rest," I replied, brushing back his hair. His eyes looked duller and he was a little wobbly.
He nodded and wandered off. I watched him and I prayed a silent prayer of forgiveness to Meridia and one for Dibella, even more guilty because of the wetness between my thighs.
We reached the door of the Fort and I turned to Serana. "I..." I began. She looked at me curiously, a hand on her hip. Despite the hood on her head, I could see the raised eyebrow and a slightly annoyed look. She hated it when I stopped outdoors. "I need to do something before we go to Isran."
To my chagrin she gave me a smirk. "Ah, yes... Young Agmaer awaits," she replied, "I'll be waiting when you're ready. I assume tomorrow?"
How did she always know so much? "Yeah," I replied, embarrassed.
She walked past me, but before going inside, she turned to me with a serious expression. "What we're doing is important," she said, "do what you have to, have fun, but don't lose sight." With that she was gone.
I took a deep breath, trying to prepare what I'd say to him, then walked inside. I saw Isran almost immediately, he was talking to Gunmar, but looked up, giving me an expectant look. I walked over to him and Gunmar nodded to me, taking his leave. "Isran… before we speak. I have a favor to ask you," I said. The fear was gone now, replaced by mischievous optimism and excitement.
Later that night, I sat on Isran's bed, waiting for the door of the room to open. Finally, I heard a creak. "Umm.. August, Isran said you were looking for me?" Agmaer called in, his voice tentative.
"Over here," I said, hidden behind the partition in Isran's room.
He poked his head around and grinned. He hurried over and lifted me from the bed into a hug. "It's so good to see you," he said, "I was so worried, you haven't been back since you talked to that Moth Priest. I assume you have good news?"
"Yes... But first, there's something I need to speak to you about," I said, hugging him back. "Please sit with me." Dibella guide me, I thought with a smile.
He let go and looked at me curiously as we sat down. "What is it?" he asked.
"Ahh..." my mind went blank on all the lines I'd practiced. "I love you," I blurted. That wasn't romantic at all, idiot! If I could have an out of body experience at that moment, I'd punch myself. All the time I spent pacing and thinking of the perfect words and that was what happened?
"August..." he said, his eyes wide.
"I'm so sorry, I..." I looked away, tears of embarrassment stinging my eyes.
"That was incredibly blunt, but as long as we're being honest, I love you too," he replied, his voice filled with laughter.
I looked back at him and saw the smile on his face.
"Look," he said, taking my hand in his. "When I first came here, I was frightened, I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I'm a farmer, what did I know of vampires aside from 'they're evil?'" He put his other hand on my cheek and stroked it gently. "I was ready to turn back that day, out in the canyon. Then I see you walk in, ebony armor, a sword at your side, arrows and a bow on your back." He laughed softly and I could see his eyes light up as he remembered. You made me feel courageous and then you took off your helmet and you made me feel... Something else entirely. You were everything I was not, fearless, strong, an adventurer, so much more."
"I am not fearless," I replied.
"You were and you are, you can take on the world, you're the damned Dragonborn," he said with a smile. "I did not know what I felt for you, it was admiration, yet I knew it was something more. I couldn't wait to speak to you whenever you came back from wherever you were, you had such amazing stories. I wanted to hear your voice, always, I wanted you to be safe and I wanted to fight harder so I could see you again, no vampire would stand between me seeing you."
I could feel a lump in my throat. This man.. I was afraid of losing him or dying now because of him, but... I made him braver. I felt a fire inside me, he was right. I had to fight all that much harder, I shouldn't have been letting the love weaken me. It was strength.
"I didn't know it was love until I stayed up all night, hoping to hear that door open, hoping you were successful in retrieving more Elder Scrolls, just wanting to be in your presence really," he said. "And then I saw your eyes, the way you stumbled, you were a vampire and it would've been obvious to even the blinded Moth Priest. At long last I could protect you, I would've fought off all the Dawnguard for you. I saw your pain and I wanted nothing more than to help you. I.. hate to admit, but I wanted to satiate your every need," he said. "You did not want to be that thing, but I made you drink my blood."
"You saved me," I said, "if not for you, I would've gone mad."
"It felt good, you know?"
"Serana drank my blood to turn me... I know," I replied. I remembered the pain, but there was pleasure.
"I would've let you suck me dry," he said, his cheeks turning red.
I grinned, we'd been talking and I'd almost forgotten. "I'm glad you bring that up," I said.
He raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Agmaer, we're going to face a terrible foe. If we die... I don't want to think about it, but I want to have this night with you at least."
"Oh?" he replied, still looking a little confused. "I've been wanting to sleep at your side for so long."
I got up and when he tried to follow, I put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down. I stood in front of him, his legs were already spread and I knelt in front of him. "We won't be sleeping much," I said, smiling up at him.
His face was even redder as he finally caught on to what was happening. "What a love confession this has been," he said, looking down at me. "Are you sure? Perhaps we should wait until we're victorious. You know we will be, you're the Dragonborn."
"You have so much confidence in me," I said, I couldn't help but feel warm. With so much going on, I did sometimes forget the power I had. "Agmaer, tonight I want to forget what we're facing," I told him, "if... when we emerge victorious, I want our next time to be after our wedding at Mara's temple. If you'll have me?"
"Are you.. proposing to me?"
"I forgot my amulet of Mara," I said.
He leaned down, taking my face in his hands and kissing me hard. His tongue spread my lips and danced in my mouth for a few moments. "I will have you.. Tonight and tomorrow night and any night you're home from your adventures."
I gave him another kiss before looking down. He wasn't wearing his armor right now, just regular clothes. I could see him already stiffening through the cotton pants. "Let me feel you, Agmaer," I whispered with a smile. He nodded and leaned back, he let me pull his pants down and soon his cock was exposed before me. I'd fucked men before, but always for the fun of it. This was different, but I still felt that raw excitement of having a cock inside me.
I gripped his shaft and began stroking him, up and down with a firm grip. He moaned softly, his head tilted up, looking at the ceiling. His voice moaning in pleasure was enough to get my pussy throbbing with excitement. I put his cock in my mouth and he twitched, gasping with pleasure as my warmth surrounded him. I hollowed my cheeks and started sucking, my hand and head moving up and down on him, he stiffened even more and I could feel him starting to throb. I wanted to feel his warm seed in my mouth, I was about to go faster when suddenly I felt his hand in my hair. He didn't grip hard, but he pulled me back and I let go of him, letting his cock slide out of my mouth as I looked up.
"What's wrong?" I asked, suddenly worried.
His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing hard, but he was grinning. "Slow down," he said, "that feels so good, but I want more, don't make me blow so soon." He let go of me and stood, kicking off his pants and the shirt he was wearing. I watched, biting my lip as I stayed on my knees.
Agmaer pulled me up, he was not gentle, but the desperate look in his eyes was almost animalistic, I wanted him to be rough with me. My pussy was getting wetter just at the thought of it. He pushed me onto the bed and I spread my legs, bracing myself for him to enter. Instead, he grabbed my thighs and pulled me to the edge of the bed, where he knelt down on the floor. "Agmaer?" I said, questioning. He didn't answer, instead I gasped and arched my back as he spread my lips and plunged his tongue into the my sweet spot. I reached down, my eyes closed as I moaned in ecstasy, I gasped out his name as he licked me up and down, sucking on my clit, holding my lips apart with one hand. He moaned into me, his voice muffled by my mound.
He pulled away just as I felt my orgasm coming, it was a sick tease, being so close to that edge and having him stop. It was as if he knew. "Dear August," he said, standing, "you taste sweeter than I imagined."
"Agmaer," I moaned, scooting myself further up on the bed. I spread my legs for him, touching myself, feeling my wetness. "Fuck me, please," I begged, bringing my fingers up to my mouth.
He obliged with a naughty smile as he came down onto the bed with me, positioning himself. "I'd imagined you saying those words," he admitted, "I didn't realize how beautiful it would sound in real life, I want you so much."
"Then take me Agmaer," I told him. I'd spent so much time fighting, it felt good feeling vulnerable, I wanted to be in his command, I wanted him to do whatever he willed with me.
He kissed me hard again, this time it was rougher, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip as his hands pulled my hair. He kissed down my chin, pulling my hair so that I would tilt my head up, exposing my neck. He kissed down my neck to my clavicle, licking and nipping, leaving a trail of hot goosebumps all the way, making me writhe under him. I could feel his cock between my thighs, so agonizingly close to filling me. "Agmaer, please," I begged, whimpering. He got down to my nipples, sucking and biting them gently, making me cry out softly.
He'd always stricken me as someone who would ask if I was okay, but now that this was happening, I realized he was completely different than I'd imagined. It felt as though my little cries of pain and pleasure were making him even harder. Finally, with one hand still in my hair, his other hand went down and he positioned himself. "Are you ready?" he whispered into my ear.
I nodded, whimpering another response.
He pushed himself in eagerly. He was not gentle or slow, he made me gasp out and arch my back. It felt so good. I wanted him inside me, his cock was filling me, I could feel his thickness spread me open, my walls tightening around him. He moaned against my neck. "Oh... by the nine," he moaned. He stayed still for a moment before finally starting to move his hips rhythmically. I pushed my hips up, matching each of his thrusts so I could feel more of him inside me. An orgasm ripped through my body, making me shiver and cry out his name. "My love, you're going to make me cum so soon," he breathed.
He pushed himself up so he was kneeling between my legs, he grabbed my hips and pulled me up. The change of position made me gasp, I lost the hold I'd had on him, my nails digging into his back, and now I had to grip the green blanket. He started thrusting into me again, this time faster, holding me in place as he pushed the entirety of his cock into me with each thrust. My mind was going blank with the bliss, I could barely think straight. The only thing on my mind was him and the orgasm that I could feel coming again.
"Agmaer!" I cried out.
He breathed out some curses, thrusting into me harshly a few times before pulling away just as I hit another climax. I could feel myself dripping and then I felt his hot liquid hit my stomach and my pussy, dripping through my little hairs, passing my lips and down onto the bed to mix with my own juices. "Ah.. You should've given me your seed," I panted, looking up as he let go of my hips. He collapsed next to me.
"Oh how I want to..." he said, catching his breath. His eyes were closed, his hand found mine and he linked our fingers together. Agmaer pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, just like that his gentle demeanor returned. When he opened his eyes, they were gentle again, not filled with that hungry fire. He smirked at me though, "If you want it.. you'll have to kill Harkon tomorrow."
I giggled, "Oh? Then I guess you'll have to survive too."
"I think I could fight an army of dragons if it means feeling you around my cock again."