"What did you think was going to happen?"
"I don't know, Darling. Perhaps Brian would explode, they would yell, have sex and make up."
John gnaws at his bottom lip. Strumming the snares of his borrowed electric guitar nervously as he eyes the singer, setting up the microphones in the studio.
It's just the two of them. Roger is running late, Brian is- God knows where.
"I am worried." He spits out after a moment of silence. "I- I don't know. I'm really worried."
The waver in his voice catches Freddie's attention. He turns around to look at Johns uneasy face.
He smiles in reassurance, striding over to put his hands on Johns shoulders and squeeze them. He's a bit smaller than John, which makes it easier to catch his gaze.
"Deacky, what's got you worked up?"
Johns frown deepens.
"It has been two weeks. If Brian wanted involvement with the baby- if he wanted to be in the band, wouldn't he have said something by now?"
Freddie blinks at him. Taken aback.
The Omega catches the glimpse of insecurity in his eyes, before Freddie skillfully brushes it off to replace it with another empty reassuring comment.
"I'm sure Brian just needs some time to work it all out in his mind. It's a conflicting situation, on the one hand he is incredibly upset with Roger for lying, on the other hand Roger is very pregnant and they're in love."
He sighs heavily. John can see how much it weighs on him that their friends are in a mess, despite his brave mask he puts on in public.
This could lead to a financial mess, if the third album doesn't get finished at this point. After taking out the loans and investing so much money into it.
It's just a few more songs to record, before they can present it to Trident. The hardest parts is almost done.
But Brian had walked out.
"Roger is an idiot for what he did. But he is extremely lovable. You can't help but adore him. Brian is not different." Freddie lets go of Johns shoulders to shrug. Walking backwards to get the studio ready for recording as soon as Roger arrives.
Time is money.
But John isn't convinced, his fingers trail over the strings of the unfamiliar electric guitar. His stomach hurts from anxious knots for the past week.
He can't begin to imagine how Brian feels. Or Roger.
"So you think they'll be up here in the studio, going to co-parent? Continue their relationship? Mate?"
Freddie doesn't look at him anymore while he puts sponges over the microphones. He's rather good at pretending it's no big deal.
"Who knows. I've seen weirder things"
"Really..." John asks doubtfully. "Brian will just get over it after Rog lied?"
Freddie sighs. Stopping his movements as he looks at John from across the studio. "He didn't lie." Freddie holds up a warning finger. "Brian is complicated, so Roger needed time to figure out how to break the news."
"He needed four months?" Johns voice is small, but Freddie caught it anyway.
"Dear," Freddie's act crumbles as his face falls. "It's fine if you're doubtful or disappointed at the outcome of this relationship, but don't let Roger hear you talk like that."
John hadn't planned on shitting on Roger for this fiasco. Perhaps subtly or as time passes by, but Freddie's face is set genuinely serious for once.
It makes John even more worried. He doubts Roger and his baby get to have their happy ending if Freddie out of all people lost hope.
"It sucks enough already as it is. It's not our place to make it worse."
John nods with a blank stare. His stomach churns again.
He decides to take a seat on the drum stool to rest. Leaning forward on the guitar as an armrest.
"How has he been?" John dares to ask while he watches Freddie work.
Freddie shrugs in an almost defeated manner. "I wish I knew, dear. He's been sleeping at his grandmothers house. She's been feeling sick and needed someone to look after her. But last time I saw him, he didn't look too well."
John sighs, his foot tapping the floor rapidly. "Poor Rog."
Freddie has to agree. "Poor Rog, indeed."
"Talking about me?"
Both their heads turn to the door as Roger comes shuffling into the studio. Their eyes subconsciously wide and fearful for getting caught talking about Roger.
The pregnant Omega shrugs off his jacket, not big enough to zip over his belly anymore.
John cringes as he huddles into himself. Even though Roger doesn't necessarily look upset at them for gossiping, but it's the dark hollow circles under Rogers eyes. The stumble in his step and the pale color of his cheeks.
He looks sick and tired. It's only been a couple of weeks since John has last seen him, but he looks much more pregnant than before. His belly bulging enough to stretch the fabric of his shirt.
Freddie must have noticed too. "Darling, I was worried about you."
He smiles at Roger, wrapping his arms around the smaller Omega before he can stumble back.
John watches them with a heavy heart. Roger melts into the hug instantly. His belly forming a subtle obstacle for Freddie's body, but they work around it.
"I'm okay." Rogers voice is muffled by Freddie's shoulder. It's a lie. They all know it.
John clears his throat. "You don't have to be okay. We understand that you aren't."
Freddie pulls back from the hug, but he keeps a supportive hand on Rogers lower back. Guiding him towards the drum stool John quickly makes free.
"You look terribly tired. Have a seat."
"Thanks Fred." Roger huffs, but he doesn't protest as he lowers himself onto the drum stool with Freddie's help.
Close up, John can see the toll these weeks have taken on Roger. His skin is dry from the tears, dark hollow shadows have been embedded under his eyes and the blue of his eyes shimmer with sadness.
John lays a hand on Rogers shoulder. Catching his sombre gaze.
"I wish you would have called us. We could have helped you." John whispers softly. Squeezing Rogers shoulder the way Freddie had squeezed his just a few moments ago.
Roger gives him a half hearted smile. "There's not much you could have done Deacky."
"I'm glad you came here, Dear." Freddie smiles, wrapping his arms around Rogers neck and pressing his face against Freddie's stomach in a forceful hug. "We missed you. You can't just take off like that."
It's a bit of a funny sight, but Roger seems to appreciate it as he wraps his arms around Freddie's waist.
John ruffles Rogers hair lovingly. The guitar secure around his neck while they try to comfort Roger as much as they can considering the situation.
"How is your grandma? Will you be staying with her from now on?" John asks quietly, even though Freddie sends him a panicked look at the suggestion.
Roger looks up at them, not quite letting go of Freddie's waist as he replies. "She's not as sick anymore, but she's still weak. And I need to move back into her house when the baby is born. A lot has to be done for the renovation."
He glances down at his belly. Filling out his clothes now that he is five months pregnant.
Roger bites his lip as he thinks about his next words before he says them out loud. John and Freddie continue to physically comfort him in the meantime, petting and rubbing him to show their support.
Much needed support.
Then Roger glances back up at the other two.
"I'm only getting more pregnant and more tired each passing second. It's getting harder to get things done, Grandma can't help with renovating the house, so I'm doing little by little. I don't know if I can get it done if I don't start with renovating now."
John scoffs, playfully pulling on a strand of Rogers hair- which causes Roger to pout.
"Oh hush." John snorts, before combing Rogers hair back sympathetically. "We can help you to get the house ready for the baby, of course."
"Really?" Rogers seems slightly uncomfortable despite leaning into Johns touch longingly. "I don't want to bother you two with my shit. I've dragged you along in my mess. It even put a toll on Queen."
By the end of his sentence his voice wavers and he looks away. His shoulders sag as he mashes his face into Freddies stomach again in defeat.
Freddie sends John a worried glance. While the Omega still plays with Rogers blond hair.
There's nothing they can say that will make Roger feel better. The father of his baby is gone, won't pick up his phone, hadn't left a note. Nothing.
But they try anyway.
"We'll help you, Dear. As long as you promise me you won't move out of our dorm before the end of the semester. I'd miss you too much."
Rogers voice is muffled by Freddie's shirt, but his words reach the other two anyway.
"If the university lets me finish my degree that is." He mumbles miserably. Another worry he doesn't have under his immediate control.
Brian. His degree. His debt. The Album. His living situation. His grandmothers health.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Brian leaving Roger to vent for himself has left Roger to wonder about how he's going to be able to figure parenting out all by himself, in his current economic and social situation.
It's weighing on him. So heavily that he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. The sight breaks Johns heart.
He wishes it was all different. That Brian hadn't walked out, but confronted Roger the way Roger should have confronted him.
That they were now all here together to record the last few songs for the album, in order to earn back the money of the loans they've taken out.
It's all becoming dauntingly real. Roger is crumbling a bit under the pressure, despite doing his best to make it work.
"I don't know... I'm just tired right now."
Freddie stops biting his lip and nudges for John to tip Rogers head back.
"You keep forgetting how much the baby is also mine and Johns'." Freddie only half jokes as he crouches down to put his flat palm on the bulge of Rogers belly.
Rogers eyes glisten at their touch. It's a small sparkle of hope.
"This baby won't have one parent. They'll have a grandma, a Freddie, a John." He keeps his hand perfectly still, appreciating the firm warmth radiating from Rogers skin. "Maybe not Brian. But that's not even decided yet."
Roger coils at the name. His face grimacing at the reminder.
"He's not here Fred. Doesn't that say enough?"
Freddie opens his mouth again to reply, but John jumps in before the situation can escalate. Roger needs distraction. Discussing Brian isn't a useful way to spend their expensive hours in the studio.
"Why don't we get to work? See what we can get done just the three of us." John steps back to show them his borrowed guitar. He gives the both of them a reassuring smile, though it's a weak one. "I can fill in for Brian."
Both Roger and John seem to he rather doubtful of that. But neither of them have a better solution for the problem.
"Okay. That's- okay. We shouldn't be wasting this time."
Roger grabs his sticks, Freddie places a kiss to the Omegas forehead before making his way to the microphone.
John plugs his guitar in. Strumming around before putting his headphones on.
"Why don't we do Tenement Funster? It's yours, right Rog?" Freddie asks as he frowns over his scribbled notes containing their album concept.
"Yes that's mine. We could do that."
They truly try to get work done that day, but without Brians guitar solos or vocals it's nearly impossible to get much useful done.
Besides, the energy in the room is off. Roger is exhausted. John makes many mistakes on the unfamiliar instrument, which causes himself a lot of frustration and Freddie misses Brians harsh input on his lyrics and melody.
It's a shit-show. And yet another reminder why Roger can't lose Brian out of his life.
When John messes up another chord, Freddie's voice dies down because he doesn't like the wording of the last sentence in the bridge and Rogers eyes begin to droop dangerously- they call it a day.
A disappointing day.
His mother gasps as she opens the front door. Her smile spreading wide over her face as she finds Brian standing on her front porch, guitar case and a suitcase in his hands.
"What a nice surprise- oh!"
She stumbles back in surprise when he launches himself at her. He drops his luggage to the floor and falls into her open arms and he cries.
It's a relief to feel her wrap her arms around his back. Letting him cry against her shoulder while she sways them in the doorpost.
"Oh my dear. What's wrong? Calm down honey, you're home now."
She shushes him, her hands combing through his hair while his sobs intensify with every passing second. His chest heaving with panic and his hands clamping around her tiny waist.
"It's okay, Bri. You'r in good hands." She whispers quietly, pulling him inside without letting go of him. She closes the door with her foot.
"Let's get you settled, darling. My beautiful baby." Her own voice wavers at seeing him so vulnerable, her six foot two Alpha. "You're home now."
Brian nods frantically. Unable to get himself to let go of her, not even when she shuffles them over to the couch in the living room.
Not even when she cradles him lovingly, not once indicating she needs to do something else. That she is busy.
She doesn't force him to talk. She lets him cry and breathe until he shudders with the aftershock.
Not once does she let him go.
Not even when his tears dry on his cheeks and he continues to cling onto her shoulders for much needed comfort.
"I love you. Whatever it is, we can fix it together."
Brian nods against her shoulder. But he still doesn't pull away. And she doesn't make him.
He's home. It's going to be okay.
There's a lot of things Roger isn't proud of.
Lying to Brian for months might be the biggest regret of his life. Keeping his pregnancy a secret was not only stupid, but also unfair.
"Please pick up."
Roger clutches the phone to his ear. Waiting for it to connect with the other line.
He's also not very proud of calling the May household a dozen times a day. One of these days he'll be reported for stalking the poke family.
Tears are steadily streaming down his cheeks. Salty and wet.
He shakes with the force of his sadness. The phone torturously keeps beeping in his ear, but nobody is answering on the other end.
Which isn't strange, it's 3 A.M.
"Come on..." Roger sniffs, his leg jittering as he gives up on wiping his tears away. "Pick up."
If only Roger had told him sooner... Brian had taken the news of his pregnancy quite well in the hospital. He'd promised to be there for Roger for the rest of his pregnancy, promised he'd be supportive and a friend.
If only Roger had come clean. Maybe all of this would have been different.
If Roger had immediately told Brian the baby is his, the Alpha wouldn't have found out the wrong way.
Then perhaps he would not have run off.
"Fuck." Roger rests his forehead against the wall as he continues to cry. He lets the phone dangle by the cord. "I fucked up."
Brian is gone. Grabbed some clothes and his guitar and left the dorms.
Roger had checked, the minute he was out of the hospital he had rushed towards Brians room, finding the place a mess from leaving in a hurry. Clothes scattered and papers thrown around.
Then Roger had searched his own room for hours in the hopes of finding a note, a letter. Anything from Brian with an indication when he will return.
If he will return.
Rogers stomach cramps with agony at the thought. He tries to take deep breaths, to stay calm and rational.
But he can't.
Without Brian, the baby has no other father. Without Brian there's no Queen, without Brian Roger misses a chunk of warmth he's gotten too used to.
Their couple of weeks relationship has been the best time of Rogers life. Recording an album, holding hands, making homework together, napping in each others arms-
Roger ruined it for the both of them and for his baby.
He wishes Brian would answer the phone, so Roger can properly apologize. Show his remorse and make up for his actions.
But Brian doesn't answer the phone.
After trying the number two more times, Roger hangs the phone back to the wall with a defeated sniffle.
It's not the first time Roger can't sleep at night, worrying about Brian and the future.
It won't be the last time either.
The first few days, Brians mother doesn't pry.
She cooks him comforting food. As much as the family can afford anyway.
She hugs him as much as she did when he was four years old. She kisses his cheeks and praises him for the smallest things.
She doesn't criticize him for sleeping in after two o'clock. She doesn't comment on him crying while they watch one of her soap series or when the phone keeps ringing at the oddest hours of the day.
Of course she doesn't know exactly what happened, but she knows Brian and how he behaves when he's heartbroken.
So she lets him laze around, cry when he needs to, coddle him and feed him to comfort him.
"Did he tell you what's wrong yet?"
Someone with less patience is Brians father. Harold is harder, more strict as an Alpha with great expectations from his Alpha son.
His mother frowns at her husband over her tea. The two of them seated in the living room reading the morning paper. "He's upset, he needs to be home and relax for a while. He's our son."
"Ruth Honey, I'm not saying he needs to go. But he has classes, doesn't he? It's been two weeks and I haven't been able to have a normal conversation with him. Have you?"
He raises an eyebrow at her. Ruth glances away.
"I'm concerned as well. But coddling him is not a solution. He is not twelve years old."
Brians face flushes with shame. Instead of manning up to talk to them, he stumbles back and rushes up the stairs to hide in his bed.
He knows his father is right. He's been a rude guest, eating all their food, not making conversation and sleeping in all day.
But his mother has been kind enough to ignore all that in favor of comforting him. Knowing him well enough to figure out something is seriously off.
Brian curls up under his blanket as foot steps lead into his bedroom.
His parents must have heard him rush up the stairs again after he listened in on their conversation.
The bed dips where his father sits on the edge. His hand resting on Brians back.
"You're welcome to stay as long as you need to."
Brian sniffs, his voice is muffled by the way his face is half mashed against the mattress.
"Did mum send you?"
His father chuckles. Playfully giving Brian a push.
"She's worried sick about you. You should talk to us, for your or her sake."
Brian shrugs. He doesn't really want to.
His parents are incredibly conservative. He knows exactly what they want him to do. Go to Roger and apologize, mate him as soon as possible so the child has a traditional family.
That's what they want.
But what does he want?
"And I know you- bottling this up is not making it any better. You're too much like me." His father sighs. "You're bright, but you're unproductive when you're sad. When was the last time you showered?"
Brian flushes with shame, he's glad his father can't see it because his face is blocked by the blanket.
Because he doesn't take care of himself when he's upset. He can't sleep, change his clothes, clean himself up or do anything productive.
"That's what I thought." Harold pats his back one last time, before he gets to his feet.
Before he leaves the room he turns back to Brians curled up body under the blanket.
"Today, you're vacuuming the living room and cooking dinner. Let your mother rest."
It's not a question or a request, but Brian nods stiffly anyway. He can't say no to his father- the head of the household.
"Okay." His voice comes out broken and hoarse.
"Good, I love you kid."
Brian curls in on himself even more. He can't imagine himself having the patience and authority over another human being the way his own parents have over him.
Still, in a few months that's what his reality will look like.
"Love you too, dad."
Roger wakes up to the sound of voice coming from the living room. Which is unusual, because his grandmother normally doesn't have guests over.
Her friends are too old to travel. Most of their family has shunned Roger thus shunned Grandma too.
With a single glance at his alarm-clock on the nightstand he knows it's past noon already.
With a heavy sigh, Roger drags himself out of bed. He tries to wrap himself up with his robe against the bitter cold, but it doesn't close around his belly anymore.
His shirt rides up and won't cover his full tummy either, no matter how often Roger tucks it into his pajama-pants.
"Shit..." He mumbles in defeat. Already tired again despite having just stepped out of bed.
As a last resort Roger grabs his blanket and bundles himself into it like a burrito, before he shuffles down the stairs on his bare feet. Following the ringing of three familiar voices.
"-Heard this one on the radio the other day. What was it called again?"
His grandmothers worn voices is the first Roger can distinguish as they echo through the hallway.
"Seven Seas of Rhye." Freddie replies proudly. "Our first hit single, may I add."
"I loved that song. But my favorite one you recorded was White Queen on the second album if I'm correct? You guys have some fine musicianship, very versatile too. When can I expect to hear some new music ?"
There's some low thoughtful humming, before John speaks up. His voice much meeker and more timid in the presence of an elder Alpha.
"Ehm... We are not so sure with Brian gone. But we are working on a third album."
Roger finally makes it to the living room, but instead of walking inside and disturbing the conversation he halts in the doorway.
There he sees John, Freddie and his grandmother sitting around the dinner table with their cups of tea and a plate of biscuits between them.
"Roger told me about that. Heard he filed for more loans for this too." She shakes her head sadly. "I don't understand why your management won't have a better solution for you. At this rate you will all go bankrupt."
"Tell me about it." John averts his eyes, before sipping at his tea. Hands cupped around the China gracefully.
"But we love what we do. And we're good." Freddie exclaims with wide hand gestures. A huge grin on his face. "It's going to be fine. We'll earn all the money back. We touch hearts of young and old!"
It makes Rogers grandmother chuckle warmly, despite how pale and sick she looks, before raising her cup as well. "I'll drink to that, Dear."
The sound of Rogers belly churning persistently gives him away.
All three of them look up at him. Wearing identical worried facial expression as they scan him down.
Roger knows he's not at his best right now. He doesn't sleep well, his eyes are puffy from crying and he looks thicker around the waist every day.
It's within their rights to worry, but it still makes him uncomfortable knowing it was his own actions that lead to Brian leaving. And that ended up in a heartbroken Roger.
He doesn't need their sympathy- doesn't deserve it either. He just needs to get his life together.
"Morning." His voice comes out gruffer than he had intended to. He pushes himself away from the doorpost to plant himself on the free seat beside John.
"Afternoon." His grandmother corrects him and raises an eyebrow as he lowers himself with a groan.
He ignores her- or the others in order to stuff his face with biscuits.
They all watch him tentatively. The tension in the room growing as they don't say a word. All quietly sipping their tea and walking on eggshells around him.
"What's this about? Grandma gonna replace me in the band?" Roger asks with his mouthful to joke his way out of the awkward silence.
John nudges him gently. "We could never."
Instantly the tension is gone. Freddie wriggles his eyebrows at Grandma.
"Can you drum Ms. Taylor?"
She chuckles and shakes her head instantly. "Oh Sweetheart, absolutely not. I don't know where Roger got his rhythm from, but not from me." She playfully pushes the plate of biscuits closer to Roger when he reaches for it a third time. "Oh do finish it, Rog. You should stop sleeping through breakfast. You need to eat enough, or you'll end up in the hospital again."
He pouts at her from behind the crumbs. But he knows she's right.
Both Freddie and John quietly giggle at him getting scolded. Hiding their faces behind their teacups.
"I know grandma."
"Don't you forget that you're pregnant, Rog."
The teasing in her tone has died down. Roger sobers up as well.
"How could I forget..."
He splays a hand over his belly. None of his clothes fit him anymore. It's another cause for concern. Another thing he has to worry about and spend money on.
He hopes crop tops are in fashion this summer.
"Besides, I had to catch up on some lost sleep."
John wraps a comforting arm around his shoulder and pulls him into a sideways hug. Allowing Roger to rest his head in the crook of his neck.
"We understand, Darling. But try to take care of yourself." Freddie sighs with sad eyes mirroring his grandmothers'.
It's been a hell of a week. Roger has to admit that he's been crying himself to sleep at night. Muffling his tears with his pillow to keep his grandmother from worrying even more.
The disastrous studio session hadn't helped one bit.
The sleepless nights in which he worries about providing for his child, finishing the nursery, his grandmothers health, Brian, the future of Queen- and anything else that keeps him up.
Too anxious to properly rest.
"Can we talk about something else?" Roger swallows down the biscuits with a gulp of Johns tea. "Please?"
"Of course." John promises with a soft smile. Rubbing his shoulder in reassurance. "Ms.Taylor actually called us because-"
Before John can finish his sentence, the elderly woman holds up her hand. "John, it's Sarah or you can call me Grandma. We're all going to raise a baby together after all. Might as well get comfortable."
Roger chuckles involuntarily when Freddie sees that as an invitation to wrap his arms around his grandmother and hug her warmly.
"Very beautifully said, Grandma. It's our community baby."
Grandmother sends Roger a desperate glance at being squeezed for a bit longer than she's used to from people outside the family.
"That's what you get for inviting people over without consoling me."
But he smiles, which he genuinely hasn't done in weeks. It feels almost forbidden to do so, considering his grim circumstances.
"Oh hush, Dear. Deacky and I are here to help you make a start with the nursery." Freddie elaborates as he let's go of the tight hug. "You've been stressed- we have been useless shits in the studio. We might as well do something productive."
They're all looking straight at him again. Waiting for him to explode or flee. Or whatever is expected of a hormonal emotional wreck.
"That's- are you sure you have nothing better to do?"
He chuckles to play it off as a joke. To make sure he isn't being selfish and he screws up again the way he had lost Brian.
John can see right through his awkward smile and squeezes his shoulder. "Of course not."
"We knew you would be difficult, that's why we came without letting you know beforehand." Freddie says as a matter of fact. Flicking his fingers to articulate his words. "You're in a dark place right now."
"We just want to help. All of us." John adds in a low voice.
It makes Roger warmer than the blanket ever could. His cheeks flush under the positive attention.
He glances at his grandmother, who looks worried by his silence, but also relieved to see what kind of of people Roger surrounds himself with.
Rogers shoulders lose some of the tension as he sags against the back of the chair with a half-smile.
"Thank you-" He glances from young and timid John to excited and sparkling Freddie. "Both of you and Grandma. I'm really shit right now."
Before any of them can interrupt him, Roger waves their protests off. "I don't feel like getting out of bed, I can't eat a normal meal, I can't sleep or begin to care about what I look like right now."
He looks down at his rounding belly. His baby growing rapidly inside of him without knowing the emotional stress happening in its surroundings.
"So don't mind me too much. I'm trying."
Roger looks up again, a hand gently cupping the underside of his firm belly.
"I have fucked up with Brian and now I feel numb and afraid I'll fuck up more, which I emotionally can't afford."
John leans over to lay a hand over Rogers', on top of his belly. Freddie gets to his feet to wrap his arms around Rogers shoulders. And from across the table Grandma sends him the sweetest of all smiles, he can detect no lies in her eyes when she mouths.
'It going to be okay.'
He wishes he could believe her. Instead he just leans into Freddie's hug and blows his grandmother a kiss.
It'll have to do for now.
Brian hates to admit it, but his father was right. It feels good to be active.
Maybe not so much in the form of cleaning, but he doesn't feel quite as pent up like he has been the last couple of weeks. Ready to burst with emotions.
He feels some of the heaviness lift off his aching heart as he scrubs the kitchen floors, old fashioned on his hands and knees.
The radio is on in the background, but Brian can barely register what the station is playing.
While his gloved hands rub over the dated tiles in the kitchen, his mind keeps racing. Much more collected than the past few days now that his hands are busy.
But still. The endless spiral of questions and doubts keep him jittery.
Why did Roger expect him to react so badly, that he had decided not to tell Brian at all?
Why did Roger tell John and Freddie but not him?
Why did Roger continue to keep more secrets after they had mutually promised not to lie anymore?
Why was Roger so sure the baby is Brian?
He knows he could get an answer if he picked up the phone once. Hear Roger out.
But the Omega had so many chances to tell Brian what was going on. That he's pregnant. Now Brian needs time to think about his next step. His perspective of the situation.
Roger had his chance to think it through. Three months already.
If that's how far along he is anyway. All the doctor had said was that Roger was past the first trimester.
That could mean barely three months, up to five months.
If Roger is really pregnant with Brians baby, he had gotten pregnant during the weekend of heat they had shared in January.
Brian glances up at the calendar hanging on the wall next to the fridge. Reading May the 21st.
He wipes the sweat off his forehead, before he continues to aggressively scrub the floors. Not satisfied until his head is blank.
Meaning he could continue cleaning until he could see his reflection in the dark tiles.
How can Roger be sure it's Brians?
To be frank the Omega has fucked every Alpha in a mile radius of the dorms. It's a bitter thought, but how can Roger know for sure it's Brian who got him pregnant?
They hadn't worn any protection. The condom had broken and they decided it wasn't necessary anyway, because Roger is on birth control.
Apparently not very affective birth control.
But how many other Alphas had Roger fucked without a condom?
Did Roger not tell Brian about the baby, because he actually doesn't truly know the baby is Brians? Is he afraid the baby might pop out with deep red hair or with a dark skin color?
It's a reasonable explanation why Roger was hesitant to tell anyone. Perhaps for once regretful of his wild lifestyle.
The pool of potential Alphas is probably endless. It carves a pit of jealousy in Brians stomach.
"Whoa- I said clean the kitchen floor. Not dig a hole through the foundation of the house."
His father chuckles warmly as he comes walking into the room with his suitcase. He watches Brians face redden with embarrassment.
He'd been scrubbing fast enough to rip holes into his gloves.
"Sorry..." Brian pipes out awkwardly. Dropping the clothe to stare up at his father and rest his aching arms for a moment. "I got carried away."
"Oh no it's fine, I haven't seen this kitchen this clean in months. Continue the good work, son."
Brian sighs, nodding as his father leaves to get out of his work clothes. When Harold is gone, Brian sheepishly grabs the rag again and continues to clean.
With a little less passion now that he'd work himself out a bit.
This is good, keeping himself busy and actively thinking about the questions he needs answered in the upcoming future.
He should hear Roger out. But Brian is too upset to answer the phone.
"What color are you going to pick for the nursery?"
Roger gives John a half hearted shrug. "Probably yellow, maybe green or something."
John hums, carrying another heavy box of old papers to the pile of trash. Which Freddie is sorting through to make sure they aren't throwing away any official documents.
"Maybe Freddie wants to paint something on the wall? To set a theme." Roger suggests quietly as he glances at the plain white walls of his grandmothers old office. One hand reaching back to knead his lower back. Always aching these days.
Freddie instantly perks up at the suggestion. "I could definitely do that! What do you have in mind?"
"I haven't really thought about it. I take suggestions, as long as it's not gender specific."
Roger bends through his knees to pitch in and help carry a box of photo albums towards the door- John rushes over to snatch it out of Rogers grip.
"Are you mad? You can't pick this up!" John scolds with wide eyes. "You're 22 weeks pregnant. And don't think I haven't noticed how your back has been hurting."
Roger rolls his eyes. "Relax, I am fine carrying a box for a couple of meters."
But it feels kind of relieving when John lowers him back into the office chair. The pressure on his back had really been bugging him.
"I'd rather have you rest." John pats his shoulder, before dragging the next box with old reports to Freddie's feet. "You've helped a lot already."
"Barely... I've only swept the floors and done some dusting." Roger grumbles as he folds his hands over his stomach. His shirt ridden up to reveal his navel, he's long given up on pulling it down.
Freddie chuckles warmly from where he's sitting on the floor amidst a piles of papers. "If your pout wasn't already adorable, but your cute tummy sticking out is just too much to handle."
"Oh shut up." But Roger can't help the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He splays his flat palm over his exposed stomach. "It's a real pain. Nothing fits me anymore."
John passes him, grunting at the weight of yet another box of photo albums. "You should do some shopping. Maternity wear."
The idea alone exhausts Roger.
He can't imagine enjoying a full day of standing on his swollen feet and walking around with his aching back.
Besides, he's still rather upset about Brian being off the radar.
"Just sounds like so much work- and money." Roger complains half heartedly. Rubbing more firmly where he feels the baby flutter inside of him.
"We can go thrifting. I'll take you, I promise we'll have a good time!" Freddie practically begs with huge pleading eyes.
John giggles, before turning to Roger. "You can't say no to that face."
Sure he could. But Roger knows Freddie and John are doing their best to look after Roger and the baby. They show up every day to get him out of bed. To keep him busy.
Anything but laying around in bed being miserable.
Besides, he loves shopping with Freddie- when he's not pregnant and heartbroken anyway.
"Okay fine." Roger chuckles at Freddie's celebration cheer. "I really need the baby to stop growing so fast."
He leans back into his chair with a sigh, watching John lift boxes while Freddie sorts papers. They've already gotten rid of most of the furniture, selling them or putting them into the attic. They cleaned the room and now sort through smaller items to figure out a new place for them.
All in order to transform the office into a nursery.
Roger can't say he feels happy. He doesn't know how Brian is doing, or what his future will look like.
But sitting in his future nursery, the baby contentedly growing inside of him- he can't help but the soft smile splaying over his face. The stretching skin of his belly warm under his hands.
"Rog- did you feel the baby kick?"
Rogers head snaps up at John, who's watching him with wide excited eyes.
"No, not yet." He says meekly. "I was just thinking about the nursery and stuff. Sorry."
John shakes his head with a half smile. "Don't apologize, you just seemed kind of fixated for a moment there."
"Dr Lawrence said it could happen any moment now." Freddie happily pitches in. "Have you felt nothing at all?"
Roger is still cupping the underside of his belly as he speaks. "No real kicks, but I've felt flutters, I know it's the baby. They get stronger every day."
"Really?" Freddie asks enthusiastically. Immediately crawling over to Roger to cling onto the Omegas leg and rest his chin on his knee. "Do you feel them now?"
Roger resists the urge to jitter his leg to shrug Freddie off. Instead he nods, he grabs one of Freddie's hands and moves it to the left underside of his belly.
Freddie flattens his hand and closes his eyes to concentrate.
"You probably won't feel anything- it's just little flutters."
But Freddie doesn't care. He keeps his hand in place and stays perfectly still in the hopes of feeling the baby move against his palm.
Roger lets him. He kind of misses people touching him with his Alpha gone.
Somewhere behind them John had grabbed Freddie's photo camera and snapped two pictures of them for the scrapbook.
It's a pity Brian has to miss all of this. Designing the nursery, shopping for maternity clothes, the first kick and all other pregnancy developments of the second trimester.
After a few quiet moments in which only the rustling of John moving around fills the room, Freddie pulls his hand back from Rogers belly- sweetly kissing the spot he's been touching before he sits upright.
"You'll immediately tell me when it happens right?"
Roger smiles. "I will."
"Good!" Freddie claps his hands together. "Let's go back to work, poor Deacky doing everything by himself."
John snorts as he passes them with another box he can barely lift. "What else is new?"
"Oh hush darling." Freddie waves him off, before turning back to his paper work. "Rog, what about a clowns theme for the nursery?"
"Or not. That's creepy." John pitches in.
"No it's gender neutral and children love clowns."
"Why not a flower theme? Or sea animals. Like orcas?"
"Yes, killer whales are very appropriate for a little baby." Freddie rolls his eyes sarcastically. "You can't be serious."
"Oh but we should take your suggested clown theme serious."
Roger continues to listen to the bickering with closed eyes and two hands on his stomach. Glad that they're keeping his mind off of Brian and his sadness.
Guilt was the last emotion Brian thought he would feel after Roger had lied to him.
Yet here he is. Sitting on the couch, peeling potatoes with his mother, while his stomach cramps with deep gutted guilt.
The phone keeps ringing day and night. It makes Brian wonder if Roger ever sleeps. His parents are annoyed and suspicious-
Still he doesn't pick up.
Despite missing the band, music, university and Roger himself, Brian can't get himself to put his betrayal aside and answer the phone.
She looks up at him with a surprised smile when he speaks up for the first time in days.
"Was I planned or did I come unexpected?"
It's not what she's expected to hear. Her eyebrows shoot up and she lets out a chocked chuckle.
Brians face heats up. He knows that he's walking on thin ice for someone who doesn't want his parents to know about him possibly getting an Omega pregnant.
"W-was I an expected baby?"
"Oh dear," She shakes her head immediately with a genuine smile. "No you weren't."
It is almost relieving to know his parents had gotten into parenting in a similar hurry and insecurity as Brian.
He sighs, shoulders sagging as his hands never stop peeling the potato skin with the kitchen knife. "Okay."
"But I had nothing to worry about." His mother continues with a fond glint in her eyes. "Your father was there for me."
Ruth sighs as well, but hers is softer and wistful. Her gaze clouds with dreamy memories. "He immediately found a responsible job, we were already mated of course, but I was still living at home. We were quick to find our own place, to have you."
She reaches over to squeeze his arm. A reassuring smile on her face as she catches his gaze.
Brian tries to shrink in on himself. Guilt swallowing him up from the inside out.
"Don't look so upset, Bri, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your father and I only got our lives together because of you."
Ruth ruffles his hair and kisses his warm cheek. Blushing in embarrassment.
He definitely doesn't want to have Roger raise the child alone.
If Brian is the father, he should step up and act like one. Find a steady job for stability if Queen doesn't work out. He needs to find a place to live after graduation.
Most importantly, he needs to make amends with Roger, who needs the support now more than ever.
Support Brian had promised to provide, before he's run out of the hospital.
"You can tell me anything, Brian." His mother whispers softly, to make sure his father couldn't hear it in the other room. "What's going on?"
Brian has yet to grasp the idea of becoming a parent. He has to get over the feeling of being kept in the dark for at least 3 months. Maybe more.
He can't come clean yet.
His mother is already worried sick about him. Brian can't handle her disapproval on top of his own emotional baggage.
She scoffs half heartedly. "Then why did you ask? Do you really think I'm that daft?"
He doesn't reply, sheepishly tapping his foot on the carpet with nervous energy.
It takes a few seconds before Ruth gives up. She sighs heavily and goes back to peeling her own potatoes.
Yes, Brian is walking on very thin ice.
"What about this?"
Roger scrunches up his nose at the yellow floral blouse Freddie holds up to him.
"It looks like something grandma would wear." He huffs in annoyance as he skims through the limited amount of maternity clothes in the thrift store.
Freddie is becoming a subtly more desperate with every passing second. They've been shopping for hours and only managed to find a a couple of outfits for Roger to grow into.
"Well dear, they won't be selling much animal prints in the maternity section." He presses with a glance at Rogers awful zebra trousers he couldn't even button up. "Try to keep an open mind."
"I'm trying." Roger whines- causing people around them to stare at the odd duo.
A small Alpha with dark painted nails, platform heels and a hot pink waistcoat, shopping with an unmated pregnant Omega, who's shirt is barely covering his naval.
Not something you see every day.
Roger tries to convince himself that maybe they recognize them from Queen. But it's not a realistic assumption- especially not with the disdainful stares and disapproving whispers.
"What about this, you'll love this."
Freddie ignores all the onlookers and presents Roger with a white T-shirt.
'I'm a virgin. (This is an old shirt)' it reads. Roger snorts and snatches it from Freddie to throw into their basket.
"That's awful. Definitely taking that."
Freddie lets out a triumphant cheer. They're gonna need more shirts with summer coming along. "We're making progress."
Slowly... Roger muses while he rakes through the maternity pants. His highest in demand, because he'd love to be able to zip his trousers.
He has to admit that it's not been a bad day. Freddie's happy energy has been rubbing off on him.
They've not spent too much money yet. Roger got to eat some spicy burritos with a ridiculous amount of garlic. They went from shop to shop, got him some of the basics to get through the next few weeks at least.
Of course he still doesn't feel the best. His back hurts from walking all day, his feet ache and he still suffers from sleepless nights- thinking about Brian.
The name alone makes his face recoil in irritation.
Brian should be the one shopping with him right now, not Freddie.
It should be Brian with his hand on Rogers lower back to show his support and comfort.
Roger leans into the touch anyway. Taking anything he can to fill up the emptiness Brian had unknowingly left.
Or maybe the Alpha had known what kind of impact this would have on Roger and the baby, but he just didn't care.
He should answer the phone. Hear Roger out.
"What got you worked up?" Freddie asks quietly, leaning in so shoppers around them can't listen in on their conversation.
Roger bites his lip and shakes his head. "It's stupid."
"Thinking about Brian." Roger admits sheepishly, pulling a sheer blouse off the rack and putting it in his basket without checking the size. "It's... Just fuck. How can I explain myself if he doesn't even pick up his phone?"
Freddie hums. His fingers pressing gently to the knots in Rogers lower back while his other hand continues to browse through the clothes.
"Can I say something you probably don't want to hear?"
Roger stops moving for a moment. He furrows his eyes at the Alphas gentle tone. "What is it?"
Freddie stands his ground as he straightens his back and takes a deep breath.
"It's a real option that Brian is not coming back. The baby will be here with or without Brians support."
He doesn't try sugarcoat it. Though he tries to keep comforting Roger with a light massage.
"I know you're upset, but it's been 3 weeks. You've not heard a peep from him. You need to get your life together. Have you talked to the university yet about getting your degree?"
Roger shakes his head curtly. His fist subconsciously clenching around a green sweater.
"You need to stop wasting your time worrying about Brian. If he wants part of your life- or Queen, he'll have to call back." Freddie doesn't sound quite exasperated, he's just worried, for Rogers wellbeing and the baby's. "You need to put your energy into getting your future sorted. Your degree, the nursery, a job. Your health- how much did you sleep last night?"
"Four hours I guess." Roger mumbles half heartedly. Resisting the urge to look away from Freddie's intense gaze.
"You got dark circles under your eyes. Dr Lawrence advised you to sleep at least 8 hours a day." Freddie wraps his arms around Roger and pulls him into a relentless hug. Squeezing the two of them together. "I don't know how to bring this lightly, but Alphas are idiots. Brian is an idiot. He left. We gotta figure it out from here."
Roger nuzzles his face into Freddie's neck. Eagerly scenting him to keep himself from crying in public.
Of course he had thought of the possibility that Brian won't return. But he never dwelt on it.
He held onto the idea of some kind of happy ending.
"I didn't mean to upset you." Freddie adds as he rubs Rogers back gently. "John thought you wouldn't be able to handle it. But I knew you needed to hear it."
Freddie has known Roger for a longer time anyway. John grew closer to him while he was pregnant and a hormonal wreck. Freddie knows how Roger thinks, how he handles tough situations.
Roger nods against the warm skin. His eyes squeezed closed as he clutches Freddie's waist.
"I just... I know I don't necessarily deserve to be forgiven, but the baby does deserve another parent."
Freddie kisses his temple with a heavy sigh. "Until Brian can see his mistake of leaving you, John and I will be the other parent."
The Alpha sways them to the awful store-music coming from speakers above them. Roger presses his belly impossibly closer to Freddie's flat stomach.
"Thank you." He sniffs. Just barely holding back his tears. "I needed that."
"You need to talk to the school administration, you need to apply to a job for after the pregnancy. You need to sleep." Freddie pulls back to cradle Rogers pouty face. Squishing his cheeks between his painted fingers. "Because you also need to step up to be a parent."
Roger huffs. His chest deflating, before he poles his tongue out to lick Freddie's hand.
"Everyone is looking at us." The Omega complains when Freddie doesn't budge. Trying to change the subject before the Alpha tricks him into crying.
"What else is new?"
"My fly is open." Roger retorts dryly.
"I wonder if it's the unzipped zipper or zebra print that's got people staring."
A smile tugs at the corner of Rogers lip. "Maybe it's the pregnancy."
"No, that can't be it."
They look each other in the eye, before they burst out in a fit of giggles.
For a moment Roger is afraid Freddie might sober up and continue their heavy conversation after they're done laughing. But he has nothing to be worried about.
Freddie lets go of his face to continue to browse the trouser section. All signs of their previous talk forgotten.
Roger still has his arm wrapped around Freddie's waist. Tiredly leaning against the Alphas side while he watches Freddie pull clothes from the rack.
He has a lot to think about. A lot to do.
Because Freddie is right, he's wasted enough time trying to win Brian back. He needs to get his priorities straight.
The baby will be here in less than 19 weeks. There's no time to be sulking around.
"What about this?"
Freddie holds up a pair of black maternity pants with scattered butterflies embroidered onto it.
Roger snorts, his cheek on Freddie's shoulder as he takes the item from the Alpha to throw it into the basket.
"You know me too well."
"I do," Freddie sing-songs proudly, before showing off yet another piece of clothing, this time a skin tight leather shirt. "How sexy is this?"
I got nobody to be sexy for. Roger thinks bitterly, but instead he says. "I can't wear that. My nipples would hurt so much."
"Are they still sensitive?"
Roger nods miserably. "I can only do soft fabrics for now."
"You know, I actually read in a magazine once that if you put ice-cubes to your nipples they won't be as-"
Roger laughs. Still leaning against the Alpha as he listens to his ridiculous findings and stories while they shop.
It only took a couple of seconds before Brian found the right section.
The bookcase was painted half pink, half blue. The spines of the books were equally as colorful and bright. Each inviting Brian to pick them.
It's dauntingly overwhelming.
He selects way too many at first. He's barely able to keep the stack of 12 books in his arms, before finding a table to eliminate a few.
It takes him a good hour of frowning down at the covers and reading the table of contents.
In the end he picks only three in total. The Guide To a Healthy Pregnancy, The Surprising Science of Omega Pregnancy, and How To Be a Pregnant Father.
They cover all the subjects Brians mind has been yearning to know more about.
How Roger experiences the pregnancy, the ins and outs of the biological progress, and lastly what Brians role is in the story.
"Good afternoon. Could you find everything you were looking for?"
The librarian behind the reception desk greets him in monotone. She's a red haired Omega with a bored frown.
"Uhm, yes." Brian fiddles with his wallet to show his membership card, before putting the books on top of her desk. "Here it is."
She takes the card from him with an inaudible mumble. Writing down his name on the patrons list.
Then she takes the stack of books to check their condition and note the ISBN numbers.
Though the second she actually reads the first title her whole demeanor changes.
"Oh my goodness! Congratulations." She is quick to wrap the books in a paper bag for him while she beams. "Are you having a little boy or a girl?"
Brians face flushes. He's glad there's nobody else in the queue to witness his embarrassment.
"Uhm... We're keeping it a surprise."
"Oh not that it matters. As long as the baby is healthy, right." She continues to chatter, while stamping his card with the date the books need to be returned. "Has the pregnancy been hard on your Omega?"
I don't know. Brian thinks bitterly. He's done with her being all up in his business.
No matter how friendly the nature.
"I-I suppose." Brian curtly answers. Taking the paper bag from the woman, before she asks another question about his own child he can't answer. "Thanks ma'm."
"You're welcome. Good luck to you and your Omega, sir."
He grits his teeth together on the way out.
He can only imagine the reactions Roger must have gotten as well for being an unmated pregnant Omega.
Brian doesn't want to dwell on it. It's not his fault, Roger was the one that decided not tell Brian. He wanted to do it alone.
Still, the guilt makes the Alpha nauseas.
"For fucks sake." Brian mumbles bitterly at the familiar cramps created by his conscience.
All Brian can do is keep his head low and walk home as fast as he can. Eager to get a grip on the concept of pregnancy with the help of his books.
"Mr Hopkins will see you now."
Roger looks up from where he's been drumming his fingers on top of his belly.
With a huff and help of the chairs handles, he gets to his feet and follows the perky Beta into Mr Hopkins office.
He gives her a half hearted smile as he passes her by. Too nervous to actually be sincere.
She smiles back, politely not staring at his obvious baby bump as she leads him into the small grey office.
Roger has a bad feeling about this. His heart beats entirely too fast to be considered healthy, as the man- Mr Hopkins, a cigar between his lips, wearing a smart suit over his beer belly- calls him into the room.
Hopkins smacks his file onto his desk. Frowning a bit behind the smoke.
"It's never good news when a good student comes in for a hasty appointment, this late into the school year."
He leans back into his chair and sighs. Scanning Roger down with an unimpressed expression.
The door closes behind the Omega.
Roger squirms when his eyes linger on Rogers waist. Obviously pregnant underneath his thin shirt.
There's no use in hiding it anymore. He's over halfway there, 22 weeks. The baby lets itself be known by being huge.
"Take a seat, Roger. I think you have something important to tell me."
Roger nods hastily. Glad to be off his tired feet.
It's a nerve wrecking appointment. He's been dreading to come here. Today he finds out whether the university will let him finish his degree, after 3 and a half years of flawless performance. Or let him go, because of failed birth control.
Roger folds his hands over his belly and leans back with a sigh.
"I have been trying to avoid this appointment for a while now."'
He meets the headmasters eyes and holds his pointed gaze. Not so much afraid of him as Roger is afraid of his power to ruin his entire future.
Hopkins raises his eyebrow. "And why is that?"
"Because I'm pregnant. But I also want my Bachelor of sciences." Roger elaborates frankly. Not once looking away from the headmasters piercing eyes.
The man hums. Putting the cigar between his fingers and out of his mouth.
"Congratulations are in order," He leans forward to shake hands with Roger. Who returns it stiffly. "Having a little boy or girl?"
Roger shrugs, before sitting back in the chair. His lower back hurts and he's too tired for small talk.
"That's not what I'm here for- Sir. To be frank, I just need to know if I'll be allowed to finish my degree."
Something in Hopkins eyes shift. Amusement glints in his eyes at Rogers straight-to-the point-attitude, despite his lips still being pressed into a thin line.
Instead of replying, he puts the cigar between his lips once more to instead drag Rogers file towards him.
He noisily skims through the papers. It's not too thick. Roger never got into trouble at school. It just contains papers with proof of residence, his identification, grades and a standard medical report for Omegas.
"Straight 'A' student, pregnant and unmated just months before finishing his BSc. How tragic?"
He doesn't even look at Roger whilst he says it. Still flipping through the papers with great intend.
Roger shifts in his chair uneasily. Rubbing his hand over his belly to keep himself calm and meek. The way Omegas are taught to sway Alphas over.
"It doesn't have to be tragic if you let me get my degree anyway."
Hopkins straight up grins. Putting the file down with a snort like cough. Smoke spluttering out of his mouth as he goes.
"I like you Roger." He points at him, still coughing up some smoke. "I do. You got some balls, coming into my office without any shame, owning up to your mistake."
The word stings.
Roger frowns at it. But he tries not to let his distaste be known too much.
The kid was unexpected, Roger won't lie about that. Though the baby wasn't a mistake. It will never be.
It's Rogers fluttering bundle of joy. Contently camping up inside of him. A striking force of change in Rogers already hectic life.
But by all means, a happy accident. Not a mistake.
"You're a good student. No fights, good attendance, extraordinary grades. Besides, you're the only Omega in your class." The man whistles, leaning back and folding his arms over his belly the same way Roger is. Though he is not carrying a child. Just one few beers too many. "That's impressive. Dare I say, I think you're magnificent."
It makes Roger blush.
Of course people have been surprised about him attending university, which is still rare for most Omegas. But first getting into dentistry had been a nearly impossible task.
Nobody expected him to be as lucky the second time around. Yet Roger got accepted for the biology course too.
Yes, many people were surprised about his academic success. But not many of them had been impressed. Let alone called him magnificent.
"Thank you, sir." Roger blinks- hope bubbling in his chest. "Does that mean..."
Hopkins nods. "Yes, I won't kick you out. We need people like you, driven and feisty. But give me no reason to change my mind. People who believe you should be at home with your feet up, will complain. No bad grades and no slacking and I'll have no grounds to let you go."
Roger keeps staring at him. Not quite believing his ears.
It's the first time in days he's finally felt something different than grief and hopelessness.
A soft smile breaks out on his face. Knowing now that with a degree he could more easily find a way to support his kid once it's born.
"Thank you, Sir. You're doing me and the little one a huge favor."
He hadn't ever met Hopkins before, but he hadn't expected an Alpha so old and rich to be helpful and laid back as him.
"It's my duty to look after my students." Hopkins informs. Grabbing a piece of paper to write down their agreement. "That includes the small number of Omegas."
Roger gets up to his feet. Slower than he had to a few weeks ago, with his aching back and shift in gravity. The baby is growing fast. Almost too fast for Rogers body to keep up.
"I'm glad this is settled. I was kind of worried sick."
Hopkins looks up at him as he hovers over the desk.
"Don't stress too much. It's no good for the baby."
Roger flushes. Not wanting to dwell on how he has been spending the last few days pitying himself. This being the first 24 hours he hasn't tried to call Brian. But slept through the night, or kept himself busy with studying.
"I won't, I promise." Roger smiles, shuffling towards the door on shaking feet.
The Omega turns around just before he turns the offices' doorknob.
Hopkins clears his throat. Cigar between his fingers again as he looks at Roger thoughtfully. "You never did tell me if it's going to be a boy or a gal?"
"That's because I don't know myself either. I want to be surprised."
Hopkins hums, a little taken aback. "Huh. Interesting."
He grabs his pen and turns back to his papers. Not looking up as he waves Roger off. "You can go now. I've got you covered.
Roger smiles. Feeling his heart swell as he steps outside of the office, knowing that there's at least one part of his life that's not fallen apart before his eyes.
Brian finds himself finishing all three the books after only a couple of days.
He spends his time quietly cleaning the house. Even the garden.
It's tedious work, but it keeps him busy. Small tasks such as cleaning the oven, changing the tires of the car, dusting behind heaters and painting the fence.
Brian finishes up all the chores he could think of.
It's past dinnertime, the library is closed- so Brian can't go out to get new books and Brian needs to stay busy with the information from the books to keep his pit of guilt at bay.
The phone hasn't been ringing either. Anxious energy and the lack of playing with Queen makes him jittery. His hands ache to be put to work.
That's how he finds himself standing in the attic.
This time not to clean the dimly lit room, but to explore some of the carton boxes and old furniture stored in the corners.
It's not easy. The ceiling is too low for Brian to stand upright. The air is humid and the radio doesn't get any signal.
But he has nothing better to do.
He explores some of the boxes. Finding precious photo albums, or Christmas decorations. But also the litter-box that used to belong to his beloved cat, or his precious stuffed teddy bear that he'd lost.
After several nostalgic albeit useless boxes, Brian hits the jackpot.
He plops down on his butt and crosses his legs. One by one getting a hold on the items tentatively stored inside the particular box.
Brian snorts at a wooden toy that rattles at the softest touch. It's worn around the edges, but it still works.
The Alpha grabs an empty box for the items he wants to save for his own baby.
Brian shakes his head and the thought off. He just wants to keep busy. And not think about Roger or how the Omega hadn't tried to call him for days.
Has he gotten over Brian? Did Roger figure out that Brian isn't the father anyway,
The Alphas digs deeper into the box until his fingers curl around the softest blanket he's ever felt.
He all but gasps at the fabric. Bringing it to his face to rub it against his cheek.
The baby will love it.
It's a pastel yellow, soft, small and it seems unused. Brian can't remember it from his own childhood, but he knows the baby deserves something that precious.
He eagerly continues to explore. Finding pacifiers, bottles, more blankets and little socks.
Never had he seen socks that tiny.
They barely cover his fingers. He can't imagine someone's feet being small enough to fit in there.
It's silly, but the size makes Brian smile.
The uplifted expression doesn't last. He wonders if Roger has been doing any baby shopping himself.
He wonders if Roger already has a favorite blanket, tiny socks and enough rattlers to keep the baby satisfied.
Brian has been yearning to ask questions. The books he'd read in record time gave him the impulse to do something for the baby. Anything productive.
The books had endless instructions for items the baby needs.
There were so many necessities that Brian can't imagine Roger having the finances to get all of it.
So the Alpha continues to looks. Whether Roger needs it or not. Whether Brian decides to show the Omega his founding or not.
Brians hands grab a hold of something sturdy and long. He holds the item up from the box and snorts.
It's a baby mobile, to hang over the crib. This one in particular has twelve soft stares hanging down on strings.
Brian gives it a gentle push, watching it twirl prettily as he holds it in the air. Imagining how he himself never wanted to part from the childish thing- not even when he was seven years old.
His father had compromised it by putting stickers of stars on the ceiling of Brians bedroom.
It's a bit embarrassing, but Brian likes to think this was the very start of his love for space.
Without hesitation, Brian leans over to put the mobile into the carton box-
The Alpha all but jumps when suddenly his mother is standing in the doorway.
With one of Brians books clutched between her hands.
"I think we need to talk."
"We need to have a fluid transition from flick of the wrist to Lily." Freddie mumbles deep in thoughts. "It's just... ehhmm."
Roger and John spare a skeptic glance at the Alpha. Who's sitting behind the piano in the recording box. Pen between his lips as he scratches and switches notes.
They've been in the studio for hours.
It's much better than the first day without Brian. They've mutually decided to keep blanks in the tapes where the guitar should be added- to take some pressure off John.
But the more work they get done, the more Freddie nitpicks at ever tedious detail. Needing 500 overdubs and re-dos, before he's satisfied.
Roger lazily stretches out and props his feet up on the mixing table. His hands resting on the swell of his belly, while he waits for further instructions from Freddie.
"Do you think he's broken?" John whispers under his breath, causing Roger to snort.
Freddie sits frozen on his piano. Eyes wide open and fingers hovering the keys as his creative mind runs.
"Seems like it." Roger cheekily retorts, before clicking on the button to talk to Freddie behind the glass.
"Hmmm..." The Alpha doesn't even look up. His brows knitted together as if he's one second away from a musical epiphany.
The problem is though, that he's been wearing that face for over an hour.
"John and I were wondering if you're gonna include us in the brainstorming, else we're gonna grab some food."
The Omegas quietly wait for a reply. Holding back giggles as Freddie is back in his own mind. Too busy with composing to communicate his ideas.
John turns to Roger and shrugs. "I think he doesn't really need our input right now."
"You think?" Roger retorts with a smile. "Food?"
The other Omega nods, getting to his feet. "Food."
Roger extends his arms out for John to help him out of his chair. He groans at the aches in his back as he straightens his spine.
He steadies himself with Johns help, glancing half heartedly at Freddie- only to find the Alpha still engrossed in his own thoughts.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Pizza." Roger replies without missing a beat. His stomach grumbles loudly at the mentioning. "We need it."
"Fine by me." John smiles while he gathers his coat and handing Roger his jacket. "What does Freddie want?"
Roger doesn't even bother to try and button his old jacket up. Leaning back a bit to shift the gravity of his belly.
"Margarita or with black olives usually."
John hums thoughtfully, leaning forward to talk into the speaker again. "What kind of pizza do you want, Fred."
"One second darling."
Roger and John share a look. There's no way this second will take any less time than the hour they've been waiting for right Freddie.
"We should just go, I bet you and the baby are hungry." John smiles sweetly, before zipping up his coat.
Roger watches him stuff his wallet into his back pocket and fluff up his hair, getting ready to leave the studio for dinner.
But just as Roger is about to shuffle out of the door, he feels a dull jab to his left side.
Coming from inside of his belly.
Roger freezes in place, nearly causing John to bump into him.
"You okay, Rog?"
The Omega is too perplexed to reply. Lowering his hand to his stomach where the kid kicks him once again.
It's the most wholesome feeling.
The small kicks and timid flutters feel like a happy group of butterflies concentrating on one single spot.
John places a hand on Rogers shoulder and forces him to turn around.
His eyebrows shoot up to his bangs when he sees Rogers bewildered grin. His cheeks flushed with delight.
Rogers smile impossibly widens.
"The baby kicked."
John had barely caught to words, because they were whispered softly under his breath.
But the Omega heard it anyway. His own eyes glancing down to where Roger is rubbing his belly over his shirt.
"Roger that's- Just now?”
“Yes.” Roger gasps when the baby repeats its movement. “Again!”
“Do you think I can feel it too-”
Before John can even get the words out, he is blown aside by Freddie scrambling to be a part of the moment.
"OhmyGawdRogIcannotbelieve. Let me feel! Let me feel! Let me feel!"
"Of course he'll react to that." Roger snorts lovingly and shakes his head as Freddie rushes out of the recording box into Rogers personal space. Instantly getting to his knees to be eye to eye with the bump.
Roger is quick to guide Freddie's hand where the baby had previously let itself be known.
But the fluttering is almost gone again by now.
All the while John wraps a supportive arm around Rogers shoulders to congratulate him on yet another milestone.
"You look so happy."
"I am." Roger grins without a second of doubt.
Freddie doesn't allow them out of the studio to grab some food, before snapping a picture of the moment for the scrapbook.
John hadn’t gotten the chance to feel the baby, but he doesn’t complain. Knowing Roger will feel the baby kick more frequently as time passes.
It’s a warm happening that leaves Roger energized and smiling the rest of the session.
Only later, in the evening when Roger lays perfectly still in his bed, waiting for the baby to kick again- his sadness creeps up to him again.
He realizes he hasn't called Brian in days.
But he also doesn't stay up anymore at night to cry while he thinks about the Alpha. Which is an improvement.
But he’s still gloomy by the end of the day.
When he’s alone in bed.
Rationally he knows it's good that Brian has been reduced to a thought at the back of his mind, instead of casting a dark shadow over Roger the entire day.
But his heart feels a yearning loneliness, still missing the Alpha. Feeling awful for not calling Brian anymore.
He considers it, to get out of bed to try and call the May household one last time. Perhaps they'll answer this time around?
But he ends up deciding against the idea.
Because Freddie is right. If Brian wants to come back and be a parent or a part of Queen, he has to call back himself. Roger shouldn't put his energy into someone who might never come back.
Still, it was incredibly disheartening thatBrian wasn't there today to record or feel the baby kick.
Roger wants nothing more than for Brian to be here, spoon him from behind and place his hand onto Rogers belly. Waiting for another kick as eager as Roger is.
With Brians warm body pressed against Rogers. His husky scent clouding the Omegas mind. Gently rubbing the firm skin of his growing belly while they fall asleep together.
Apparently that is too much to ask.
If only Roger had asked sooner...
The last time Brian was in this position he was twelve years old.
Little Brian had climbed over the fence to get into his neighbors backyard, where the old man had kept five doves in tiny cages.
Their miserable cooing had kept Brian up for weeks. Until the day he had decided it was enough.
He had first politely asked the cruel neighbor to release the birds, but the man told him to mind his own business.
That day, Brian had done what he had to and opened the cages without permission.
Of course he got caught. Looking way too smug as the neighbor angrily rang the doorbell of the May household only a day later.
Brians parents sat him down at the kitchen table to decide his punishment.
Today, for the first time in years, Brian is in for another lecture in that very same table.
But Brian is not a teenager anymore.
This time it's not his father yelling down on him, but it's his mother who's sitting opposite of him. Wearing an unreadable expression.
Brian feels embarrassed for a number of reasons.
1. He should have told her why he ran from university.
2. He knows she believes he should have stayed with Roger no matter the circumstances.
But 3, most importantly, he shouldn't be getting Omegas pregnant while he's unmated.
Her voice comes out raspy and low. She's disappointed.
If Brian could kick himself he would. His stomach churns with deep gutted guilt.
He tries to explain it to her- the entire story without the gory details.
“It all started with...”
He tells her how his relationship with Tim worsened with time. That Brian couldn't get himself to commit to Tim and that in return Tim wanted an open relationship.
The idea alone makes his poor mother gasp in uncomfortable disbelief.
One thing led to another, Brian speeds over the part that he slept with Roger during the Omegas heat.
And that afterwards Tim just wasn't enough anymore. The open relationship didn't work for Brian and that they put an end to it.
He tells her about the tour, how Roger had been sick and acting out of character the entire time. But the Omega kept insisting he would tell Brian about his health in his own time.
Brian tries not to look his mother in the eye too much. They're cold and watery with disapproval.
It makes the Alpha recoil back in his chair.
Though Ruth perks up at the part where he and Roger got together. They had shared a kiss by the end of the tour and they had decided to try being together.
"But?" She asks, raising her eyebrow. "What went wrong?"
Brian fiddles with his fingers nervously. Getting to the hard part of the story. The part that will truly frustrate his mothers conservative heart.
He tells her about Roger collapsing and getting rushed to the hospital.
"Is he okay?"
"I-I think so..."
In the hospital everything had been okay. But that was 3 weeks ago. Maybe Roger is not okay. Maybe that's why he called a hundred times.
Brian nods. He proceeds to tell her about how he found out that Roger was pregnant. How shocked he'd been.
He tells her how he hadn't realized he was the father, because he isn't the only Alpha Roger has had a sexual relationship with.
That makes his mother red with embarrassment. Matching Brians cheeks.
He tells her how he had told Roger he would support him through the pregnancy, at the condition of no more secrets between them.
That's when he found out by eavesdropping that he himself was the father.
"My instinct told me to run."
His mother blinks at him blankly. The poor woman isn't even sure where to begin.
"Is that how I raised you? To run away from your problems?"
Brian quietly thanks God for his mothers soft voice, though the words still sting. He shakes his head, no.
"Is that an option for Roger? To run away from his pregnancy?"
Once more Brian sheepishly shakes his head.
"Then why, my beautiful darling, did you think it was okay for you to run?"
"He lied to me." Brian pipes out. "I-I think I loved him and he kept this a secret from me."
His mother sighs deeply, her shoulders deflating, before she scoots her chair closer to Brians. To wrap a warm arm around his shoulders.
Brian leans into the hug, despite the tension of his body. Breathing in her familiar scent.
She plays with his hair and kisses his forehead while she holds him. Of course she's disappointed, but he's still her first and only child.
"Brian, to be frank. I don't care if you love him or not. A child should have two mated parents. An Omega shouldn't go through their pregnancy alone."
Brian knew it was coming. He squeezes his eyes closed and sighs.
"But maybe I do love him."
Despite the lies and secrets- after being parted from Roger for so long, Brians feelings for Roger only intensified.
He misses him dearly.
He was afraid of going back home or answering the phone. Maybe Roger is over him by now?
Maybe he isn’t the father after all? Maybe Roger never wanted Brian to know.
Ruth nudges him to get him to look up at her.
"The time for maybe's and perhaps' are over. You're becoming a father." If the baby is really his. But he doesn't tell his mother about his doubts. "It's time to step up and fulfill your role."
He gnaws at his bottom lip. "Maybe he doesn't want me to... Else he would have told me about the baby himself, right?"
"Just talk to him, darling." Ruth whispers, putting a strand of hair behind Brians ear. "It sounds to me like you do love him. I firmly believe the baby is better off with two loving parents."
"That doesn't mean he'll want me back. Or want to mate me. Especially not now that I've left him for three weeks." Brian frowns at his own words. He picks at his mothers sweater worriedly.
Ruth hums. "From what you've told me, I think he is incredibly afraid of losing you. And I bet it was him who tried to call us a hundred times over the past few weeks."
Brian nods meekly.
"See? Who wouldn't love my beautiful boy." She smiles down at him, pinching his cheek. "Now it's time for you to man up and do what Alphas are supposed to do."
Brian nods. Despite not agreeing with her tensions.
He doesn't want to win Roger back to conform to his societies standardized duty of an Alpha. But because he loves Roger and wants to be with him.
Brian gets to his feet, only now noticing the tears streaming down his mothers face.
It makes his heart ache in his chest. Brian bends down to gently wipe her wet cheeks with his thumbs.
"Don’t be, dear. I love you, Brian. You've only ever made me proud. I know you'll do the right thing."
He'll do what he has to in order to be a father for his baby. Or to be with Roger.
"I will, mum. Don't worry."
"I suppose you'll be leaving soon." Ruth sighs with glistering eyes.
He nods again, albeit sadder than before. "Yeah. I’ve stayed for too long."
"I loved having you back, but next time I see you, hopefully you'll bring a guest." She smiles warmly and winks.
"Hopefully so, yes."
Roger huffs as he struggles up from the couch. He wobbles towards the door with a raised eyebrow.
He isn’t expecting anyone.
Freddie is with Jim for the weekend. John owns a key to their dorm room and Roger hadn’t ordered any food.
With one hand on his lower-back, Roger turns the doorknob with a tiny frown between his knitted brows.
Roger nearly slams the door closed again when he sees who’s on the other side. Yet, he doesn’t.
Instead the Omega freezes in place and his jaw drops open in disbelief.
The last person Roger has expected to see today was Brian. Standing in the hallway with a sheepish smile and a huge package under his arm.
“Hi... Can I come in?”
Roger blinks up at him- his lower lip begins to tremble as Brians eyes trail down Rogers body.
It’s been 26 days since the hospital.
Brian looks skinnier, he’s grown a scruffy beard and his eyes are hollow. Roger in return is bigger around the middle and his face is fuller.
Brian grows more nervous with every silent passing second. His smile falters and his eyes rapidly shift.
It takes a lot for Roger to stay composed.
He barely does.
His hands curl into fists at his sides and every muscle in his body tenses up before Brian.
“You promised me you wouldn’t leave.” Roger chokes out. Pushing down his tears with all his might.
Brian nods and doesn’t manage to hold his own tears back when he holds out his gifts to Roger.
Roger is too stiff to take the basket from him. His eyes stay trained directly onto Brian.
The Alpha uneasily shifts from one foot to the other. His arms grow rather tired when Roger doesn’t move to take the peace offering.
Brian is ready to burst from anxiety, because he can’t read Rogers blank face the way he normally knows exactly what Roger is thinking.
The Alphas shoulders deflate in disappointment as he lowers his arms.
“Please, Rog. I just want-”
Roger doesn’t let him finish. He leaps forward to wrap his arms around the Alphas neck and feverishly connect their lips.