Jack Kelly had come into his life in a very romcom-esque way and the first reaction David had had when this handsome, curly haired boy bumped into him, was yelling at him for letting him drop his books in a nearby puddle. Cursing under his breath, David picked up his recently ruined books. As he reached out for his copy of 'Guards Guards', another hand brushed against his own and David looked up, taking the other guy's appearance in for real.
His cursing fell silent as his eyes met those of the other boy and for a reason he couldn't quite fathom, heat rushed to his cheeks and David quickly looked away as his heart jumped into his throat. "Sorry for your books", the gorgeous boy with a sheepish smile said. That little turn of his lips shouldn't have been as attractive as it was. Still in a stupor, David watched as the boy reached out his hand. "Jack Kelly, nice to meet you."
After changing schools and ending up in Jack Kelly's class, the boy grows to be one of his very best friends. He gets to know his immense group of friends (he comes to love them, albeit sometimes a bit disgruntled by their shenanigans) and he even gains a personal drawer filled with his stuff at Jack's home, because he sleeps over that often.
It's during one of these sleepovers that Jack pops the question. Arm draped around David and David leaning on his shoulder, Jack turns to him. "Hey Dave...," he starts and swallows audibly. With fascination David watches as his Adam's apple bobs up and down, but tears his gaze away as Jack's tone travels through his fog filled mind. "What's it Jackie?"
Jack, with his arm still draped over David's shoulders, nervously twirls David's hair around his finger, making the hairs on the back of David's neck stand up. Jack turns his body a little bit more towards David and now their thighs are bumping together and personal space becomes a concept of the past. "Would you mind..."
"Just tell me what you want Jackie, I doubt that I could say no to anything you request", David jokes and in the back of his mind he wonders how much of a joke it really is. "Would you mind if I started courting your sister?"
Oh. The first thing that shoots through David's mind, is the notion that no book he's ever read, has accurately described the utter disappointment and heartbreak that rages throughout his whole body. No words could ever match the ugly and heavy feelings that build up in his throat and eyes, but instead of letting them spill out in the form of tears, David smiles and gives Jack a chuckle. It doesn't sound genuine to his own ears, but Jack doesn't seem to doubt his sincerity. "Of course I wouldn't mind Jack. You're a good person, any girl would be lucky to have you."
Sarah and Jack's courtship is a bittersweet thing to watch unfold. At first Sarah is hesitant to reciprocate, not quite sure if Jack is being serious. But as time passes, she allows him closer to her and the two of them are whirlwind of cheeky smiles and touches that balance on the edge between 'friends' and 'something more'.
David loves his sister. Sarah has always been the slightly more mature one of the two and whenever he couldn't make sense out of situations, she was there to lend him a helping hand. To see Jack breaking through Sarah's rigid stature, leaving her with red cheeks and a lot of sweet takes to tell, is a gift that David is thankful for. He loves the fact that he can watch calmly, while Sarah is all excited for a change. He's thankful that his sister has found someone who can make her so, so happy.
Some days, David's more resentful feelings gain the upper hand and he can admit to himself that he loathes the intimate relationship that Jack and Sarah share.
But more than he hates their relationship, he hates himself. Of course Jack fell in love with Sarah instead of David. They may be identical twins, but Sarah has everything that makes a person desirable and David does not . They are twins, people who are perceived to be nearly identical and yet there's a world of difference between them.
Sarah is gentle and kind, without being an absolute pushover. David thinks he can be kind, but more often than not, he clumsily tramples over people's feelings without wanting to. He can't combine kindness and calmness the way she oh so gracefully can.
She does not smile a lot, but when she does, it's absolutely gorgeous. David has seen Jack gape at her when she smiles. Sarah has the kind of smile that Jack draws over and over in his sketchbook.
David is not and will never be able to match his twin sister in either looks or character, but it's something he can find peace with on the days that the resentful feelings are far away. He loves his twin sister deeply, but sometimes he does not feel like they are a matching pair. It's more like Sarah highlights everything that is wrong with him, even though they are so alike.
He's not more than the bookish boy Jack Kelly felt sorry for on his first day of meeting him, he shouldn't be fooled into thinking they could ever be more than very close friends. In fact, he should be grateful that he is allowed to call himself one of Jack's best friends.
And yet. Some days he can't help himself and his mind wanders to the land-of-what-might-have-been. It's foolish, because he knows that he isn't made for other people to regard as a romantic interest. On those days his mind wonders what it would be like to kiss Jack Kelly, press their lips together and pull their bodies so close that they don't even know where one starts and the other one ends.
He always manages to pull himself out of his fantasies before they become too unrealistic. Thinking of making out with Jack is already dangerous for his heart, but wondering about what it would be like to cuddle each other, not doing or saying anything beside that, but still knowing that they loved each other unconditionally, is downright torture.
He shouldn't think about it, shouldn't even start. Because he knows that wishing only wounds his heart. It doesn't change the reality that Jack and Sarah are in love. Jack Kelly is in love with a girl and David is not that girl. More importantly in Jack's eyes, he's not that girl.