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One Big Smash-y Family

Chapter Text

Everyone. Is. Here.


Hoo boy, was that ever true. One glance around the (absolutely packed) Smash Train would tell you that in an instant. As far as the eye could see, inhabitants from all different types of universes and backgrounds sat around, getting to know each other in the only way they truly knew how. Gabbing on and on about how excited they were when the letter came to them once again, what recent adventures they had been on, and how much they had missed seeing their old competition. While everyone dearly loved sending each other flying off into the great unknown, most of them kept a pretty healthy, happy relationship. Most of them. 


Samus, in particular, wasn't too fond of the two newbies that had invented to the party from her home world. Wordlessly, she let off a sigh. In no other way would she be caught dead in the same room as Ridley, unless of course, she was actually caught dead. And now, she was in the same confined Train as him. Absolutely atrocious. She made a mental note to blast that purple bastard extra hard in their first match. For K-2L.


Luigi awkwardly shuffled his shoes on the steel bottom of the moving train, humming softly to himself. He was excited to be here, yes, but... people weren't exactly his thing. No, no. He left that all to his brother. Thinking of Mario, Luigi's eye's lifted to where his older brother stood, speaking of the grandiose adventure he'd been on since the last trip he had taken to the Smash Hotel. He spoke of deserts and lush forests, and... "... There I was. The Oddessy crash landed on-a this castle in the sky! Of course, I begin-a to look for the power moons I would-a need to get 'er up and-a runnin' again... And there... up came... A giant, purple, big-a toothed dragon!" Lucas let out a startled little yelp, while Marth simply scoffed. Luigi, on the other hand, stiffed a chuckle. Ever modest, his brother was.


"... And-a boom! The dragon went down with little more than-a back slap-a my hand!" Mario exclaimed triumphantly. Cappy let out a soft hum of disapproval from atop his head. "... No, Mario. That's not how it went, my friend! You must've eaten too much lasagna before bed again to forget the details! Here, allow me..."


It was at this point that the younger Mario brother tuned out. He'd heard these stories a million times over. Instead, his attention shifted back to where they were going. The Smash Hotel. Oh boy, he couldn't wait to be back there again! Although his mansion was rather nice and expansive, the Hotel dwarfed it in just about every way. The beds- so wonderful!- The people- passable at best!- and the competition. Oh, the competition. Now that was what he was most excited for. Idly, he shifted the weight of the Poltergust 7000 on his back. He and E-Gad had had a heyday with this unit, rigging it out to a degree. With the plunger being able to pull people in from a distance, he was a shoe-in for first prize off of his amazing grab game. The only issue was pulling it out in time... It seemed a little slow. Oh well, it was something a little training could definitely help him with. He put on a smug smile beside himself at the idea. He could do this! He'd show them! He'd--


"Hiya, sweetie!"


The brave, confident Luigi nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden, booming voice in his ear.


"Oop! Sorry! I didn't mean to scare the green-weenie!"


Luigi let out a shaky laugh at that, his heart rate beginning to fall. He'd be damned if he said he didn't know that voice from a mile away.


"... You know I hate it when you call me that, Daisy."


The princess laughed, pinching at his reddening cheeks. "Awww... But the blush I get is so worth it!"


Luigi swatted at her hand. It was true, she did get a blush out of him every time. He was quite smitten! Too bad he was too shy to actually make something other than puppy-dog eyes out of the ordeal.


"Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it. You like to make-a my life miserable!"


Daisy laughed good-naturally at that, before rolling her eyes. "That's what I'm here for, right?"


"I guess." He responded. After a beat, he changed the subject of conversation. "... So, how's your Smash trip so far?"


"Eh, not so bad I guess. I already like riding the Train waaaaaay more than being some crummy little trophy. And I gotta say. Some of the people in here? Look like they know how to handle their stuff pretty well... Little... Little nervous, actually."


"Oh, I can vouch for you there," Luigi responded. "Nervous might as well be my middle name. But hey. Take-a it this way. If can make it in there, anyone can! Especially you, Daisy."


Daisy only let out a soft noise as a response. It was obvious that 'a little nervous', as she had put it, was a big understatement.


Luigi opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off as a loud, booming baritone came over the loudspeakers.




Numerous groans are heard around the cabin, with Solid Snake (ironically) being the loudest of them all. Great. Maybe he should've skipped this tournament, too. Or, maybe, late at night when Wario was sleeping, he could...




Shuffling is heard all around as the fighters reach under their chairs. A small tablet rests there, along with a minnela folder containing their information. 



"Already found it, idiot." Dark Pit shot back, his device already cloaked in a black. 




"... Do you have to be so damn loud?" Gannondorf grumbled in the back. "By gods, at this rate you're going to raise the re-deads!"




Almost at once, the train came to its station. And no. No one remembered the announcer's last request as they tried to escape the train first.


"A-ha! Mr. Video Game himself!" The man behind the counter beamed as a portly, mustachioed plumber came to the desk. "Long time no see, Mario! How's the kingdom doin'? Bowser do anything crazy?"


Mario grinned. "Oh, it's-a long story, Mark! I'll tell it to ya after I-a get all-a settled in, okay?" He proposed, reaching for his registration information.


Mark raised his hand, shaking his head. "Oh, no no no! No need. I know who you are already! Mar-i-o! Rescuer of princesses and wearer of red!... Oh! And room number 1!"


Mario laughed again, holding his belly. "You're-a too kind, Mark! Tell-a the kids hi from-a me! Mario!"


"Will do, pal! Will do!"

Mario took his key, and headed off towards room number one. The next person up to bat perplexed the man behind the counter. He squinted, rubbing at his chin. "Ah, so you must be a new comer, eh? Name and number, please!"


Luigi sighed, and handed the man his folder of information. "... Luigi. Number 9."


This was going to be one long tournament. Luigi just knew it.

Chapter Text

The legendary vampire hunter, Simon Belmont, trudged his way up the stairs to the first floor. No matter how many times they assured him the moving metal box was safe, he distrusted it. Electricity was rather new to him, and as long as he didn’t have to go near it, he wouldn’t. No sir, Simon Belmont was a man of a simpler time and he intended to stay that way.


“62... 64... Ah, here we are...” He mumbled to himself, coming to the door marked with a 66. Adjacent to the number was his name, and a symbol that appeared to be that of Dracula’s Castle with a bat flying along side it. A twinge of curiousity hit him as he inspected the strange image. Perhaps it was just to signify what he’d done in the past... Or maybe it spoke of which universe he came from. Either way, it looked nice placed right beside his name. He took pleasure in thinking that Drac’s home was reduced to only a picture by his own hands.


As Simon fumbled with the key to his room, a certain someone caught his eye. Or, perhaps it wasn’t the someone, but the something they held at their side. His eyes squinted as the other man walked.


”Uhm, excuse me young man?” Simon called to the other, who was draped in blue. “... Just what is that that you hold at your side? Is that not my magical Vampire Killer?” He said, crossing his arms. The other turned to see the blond man, only for his eyes to grow wide. “I demand you return it to me right. This. Instant.”


”S-Simon Belmont?” The other stammered in disbelief. “You... You’re the Simon Belmont, aren’t you? T-The one who killed Dracula twice?!”


Simon let out a soft noise at that, shaking his head. “It seems even in this strange world that my reputation precedes me. Come now, boy. Tell me why it is that you have taken my Vampire Killer?”


”Taken...?” Richter muttered, looking down at his side. “I-... Oh no, I didn’t take this from you. It was handed down to me by my father.”


”Handed down to you...? What do you mean?” Simon asked in disbelief.


“Sir, my name is Richter Belmont. I was the heir to your Vampire Killer and used it to expunge Dracula out of Transylvania as you had done before, after he’d taken my girlfriend Annette.”


”You’re... You’re a Belmont?” Simon asked, confused beyond all measures. “But... how? I haven’t even had children of my own yet... does this mean...?” His hand touched at his side, feeling his own legendary whip.


”Two Belmonts, two Vampire Killers. Simon, I believe it was fate that brought us here together.” Richter said, holding out a hand to shake. “Or, erm... Maybe it was just that Master Hand fella?”


That made Simon let out a hearty laugh, before seizing Richter’s hand. Firmly, he shook. “... I may not understand why you, or I, or any of us are here, but as long as there’s Belmont blood running in your veins, I can try and accept what is going on here.”


Richter smiled. “Thank you... Say, Simon?”


”Yes, Richter?”


”... Do you wish for me to call you Grandfather? Or is Simon acceptable?”


Simon sighed. “... And you ruined it, my boy. Simon is good.”


The two of them laughed once more, before heading into their rooms, where they each tried to wrap their head around what had just happened.

Chapter Text

Little Mac: So


Meta Knight: So?


Wolf: Really? Really? That’s how we’re going to start off this abhorrent thing? Typical.


Fox: Looks like I owe Falco a fiver.


Wolf: For what?


Falco: I bet ol’ McCloud that the first thing you say would be something passive-aggressive.


Wolf: Crash and burn, Falco.


Falco: Right back at you, buddy.




King Dedede: Hm. He even messages in all caps.




Chrom: Why is this tome vibrating


Chrom: Oh wow it knows my name


Chrom: And what I’m saying


Dark Pit: Hah, look at that. Grandpa’s first time in the Smash Chat.


Snake: Oh, this brings me back.


Pit: Snake!!! You’re here too?! Awesome!!! I didn’t think I’d hear from you after ‘Brawl’!! I’ve missed you, buddy!!


Dark Pit: The tag line of this tournament is ‘Everyone Is Here’, Pitstain. Why are you surprised?


Pit: I uh... Well... Every rule... has... exceptions?


Snake: Not this one, wings. Nice to see I’m welcome.


Wolf: Where’s my warm welcome?


Pit: ...


Fox: ...


Little Mac: ...


Wolf: Great. Thanks.


Wolf: On that note, I’m off to drown myself in the pool. Don’t come looking for me.


Falco: Don’t worry. We weren’t planning on it.


Luigi: Changing the subject... Everyone getting comfortable moving in?


Snake: No.


Luigi: What’s wrong, Snake?


Snake: Wario


Luigi: Already? It’s only been two hours...


Snake: It already smells like garlic and fat.


Pokémon Trainer Red: Yeah. I’m scared to let Charizard out. The air would ignite on impact.


Daisy: I’ve got some flowers if you’d like to mask the smell?


Snake: I’d rather smell garlic than that fru-fru bulls***


Snake: Oh what the ****




Ness: Okay.




Ness: Okay.


Wolf: **** the children.




Luigi: Can... can we change the subject?


Wii Fit Trainer (Female): Good idea, Luigi! Would anyone like to get a workout in before going to bed and receiving 8 full hours of sleep?


Little Mac: Me.


Wii Fit Trainer (Female): Wonderful! Come to the gym, Mac!


Dark Pit: Is there a reason you’ve only responded with two-letter responses, Mac?


King Dedede: ... He’s typing in boxing gloves...


Dark Pit: So take them off?


Little Mac: No.


Wolf: A regular brainiac, I see.


Samus: Anyone want to switch rooms? I’d rather be anywhere others than next to Dark Samus.


Samus: Or Ridley




Samus: Can it, Xander, or so help me I’ll come and find where that disembodied voice is coming from and shut you up for good.




Samus: That’s what I thought. I hope for your sake it wasn’t your idea to bring that... Thing, here.




Samus: What?


THE ANNOUNCER has disconnected


Wolf: Alright, I’m going to bed.


Falco: But it’s, like, 8:30


Wolf: I know.


Wolf has disconnected


Luigi: Maybe it’s for the best?... We do have a big day ahead of us...


Pit: Maybe... Hey! I can’t wait to start tomorrow!


Dark Pit: For once, we agree on something.


Snake: Goodnight, everyone. I look forward to beating you all senseless tomorrow.


Luigi: Heh... yyeah, you too


Snake has disconnected


Luigi has disconnected


Pit has disconnected


Dark Pit has disconnected


Pit places the tablet back at his side, whistling happily as he headed towards his room in the Smash Hotel. 


“G’night, Pittoo!” Pit chirped happily to his echo fighter.


Dark Pit simply stuck up a finger at Pit. “Don’t. Call. Me. That.”


”Alright! Goodnight!”


And with that, the Smash Hotel began to turn in for the night.


... at 8:30


Chapter Text

It was bright and early when the smashers began to awaken the next morning. A jitter of excitement seemed to wash through the cast. From the premise of living with so many new and interesting people, to the buzz of the first fights that would take place today, the air seemed electrified.


One by one, the individuals came flocking down the hotel stairs and elevators to the lounge, before heading towards the buffet-style dining room to fuel up on breakfast for the day.


Kirby, King Dedede, and Wario were already shoveling food down their throats as fast as physically possible, downright inhaling any food they could get their hands (or, in Kirby’s case, stubs) on.


”What?! What do you guys mean you don’t have any chili dogs?!” Sonic asked bewildered. “... 6 A.M.? What does that matter?”


Young Link stood with his plate in hand, scanning the lunch room for a place to sit. He debated sitting next to the Hero of the Wild or the Hero of Winds, but was unsure if that would cause some kind of paradox. 


Finally, his eyes were drawn to an eyesore across the way. A gaggle of Inklings sat together, plates piled high with cereals and veggies. Almost instantly, the young Hero of Time’s interest was peaked. What a bunch of strange individuals... His feet began moving without him even telling them to. After only a couple seconds, he made it to the table where the eight of them sat.


All at once, Young Link had sixteen eyes fixed on them. “... Woomy?” One of them asked, tilting their head off to the side. After a moment more of conversing between themselves in their language (one that Young Link couldn’t decipher for the life of them), the green-haired one gestured for him to sit down, which was an offer that he quickly took them up on.


”... What a strange little dude.” The blue inkling said. “I don’t think he’s one of those human guys I’ve heard so much about. They don’t usally have ears as pointy as ours.” 


“Look at that Splatunic... I wonder where he got it! So fresh!” The orange one responded. “And that hat... I wonder what perks it gives him...”


Young Link could feel all the eyes on him, as he brought out a bottle of Lon Lon Milk. Twisting the cap off, he moved to take a drink of it, much to the amazement of the surrounding Squid Kids.


”What’s that thing?!” The purple Inkling asked, pointing to the picture of a cow on the bottle.


”What’s in there?! Is that some kind of magical potion or something? Tubular!!”


”Looks like water to me...”


The Hero-to-be finished his gulp. For some reason, it was met with oo’s and ah’s. Looks like these walking sea food dinners had never seen milk before. Taking the glass bottle, he slid it across the way to the Inkling boy who wore the helmet.


”W-What?!” He asked his friends. “You’ve gotta be squidding me!”


”Take a drink!” The pink one urged. “Or else you’re as squiddish as a baby sea urchin!”


A chant went up in inklish for purple to drink it. Eventually, he cracked to the pressure. “Fine! Fine, fine. I’ll do it. J-Just gimme a second.”


Fumbling with the cap, the boy got the lid off. With a shaky hand, he brought the bottle to his lips and took a quick swig. He smacked his lips, tasting the texture of the dairy. After a second, his eyes lit up. “Hey! That stuff ain’t too bad! It’s splatastic!”


The rest of the inklings cheered, before trying to take and drink the milk for themselves. Each of them gave the young boy who’d given them the drink a clap on the back in appreciation, along with a thundering “BOOYAH!”


Young Link smiled to himself. Although he hadn’t spoken a single word to them, and couldn’t understand anything they said to him, he felt as if he’d fit in nicely with this group of oddballs. That was fine by him. He didn’t much care for words, anyway.

Chapter Text

"Mr. Wario, please!! There's no need to be so cruel!" Isabelle whined, hopping up at the portly biker before her, trying to retrieve her bells from his hands. "My mother gave those to me as a good luck charm!"


Isabelle was hardly recognizable with her fur down, the golden yellow covering her face and ears. The poor dog whimpered as she tried in vain to retreive her hairpeice from the bully of a man.


Wario chortled in glee, hardly being able to keep the bells away from the secretary. "Ohhh, but they're-a so sparkly! I'm-a sure they'd fit right in with the rest of my golden treasures!" He replied gleefully. For Wario, this was the triple-wammy of his mischief. One, it was causing someone dispairity. Two, it had a shiny treasure involved, one that he would no doubt keep all for himself. Three, the reaction was priceless! If only the stupid tablet he'd been given could record videos! Oh, he'd have enough blackmail to keep her under his feet at all time! "Awww, what's wrong, you dingy little mutt? Are-a you gonna cry? Oh, boo hoo! How oh-so-very sad!"


Isabelle did feel like she was on the verge of tears. Goodness, this fat oaf was, excuse her language, quite the asshole! Try as she might to retrieve her stolen item, Wario jingled it directly above her head. That laughing of his was going to cause her to get a headache. Or a brain aneurysm. She hopped again, trying to swipe the bells from his hand, only to fall on her backside.


Her tumble only made Wario laugh harder, slapping his supple gut. "Oooh! Let me hear-a you! Wahhhh! Wahhhh!" He taunted. After nearly laughing himself hoarse, he paused. "Hmngh. This is getting boring! You are boring! Nothing but a mangy little rat! What if I were to...?" He said, unhinging his jaw. He dangled the precious gift above his chompers, clicking his teeth together a few times to show his intent.


"NO!" The shih ztu shouted, hopping to her feet again. With a sudden burst of strength she didn't know she had, she put all her weight into her front right paw, ramming it right into the butt chin of the man before her. The sudden sucker punch caught Wario off guard, making him fall flat on his giant backside. The bells skirted across the hardwood floor, landing promptly at Isabelle's feet. In an instant, her fur was back up in the adorable bun she was known for.


Shocked and dazed with the wind knocked out of him, Wario massaged at his chin. Feisty little bitch, he had thought to himself. Isabelle was breathing heavily, as she turned to adress him. There was an anger in her eye unlike anyone had ever seen before... and truth be told? It terrifed Wario. "Don't. You. Ever. Touch my bells again, or so help me..." She began, before puffing out again. Turning on her heel, she began to walk away, letting Wario catch his breath and think on his actions.


Grumbling to himself, the fat Italian pushed himself up, mumbling about how no one around here was any fun. As he was dusting himself off, he bumped into someone.


"Hey! You better watch-a where you're going, pu-!"


The Villager stared back at Wario. He had seen the whole thing.


King Dedede: Has anyone seen Wario?


King Dedede: Not because I want to be anywhere near him. I just found his biker helmet in the hallway.


Mario: Nope! Haven't seen him since breakfast.


Snake: I try not to.


Villager (Red): :)


King Dedede: ... What is that supposed to mean?


Villager (Red): :)


Wolf: Oh wow, someone finally did it.


Zelda: I'll organize a search party

Chapter Text

With her sword in hand, Lucina lunged towards the (admittedly, kind of cute) sandbag that stood in the training area of the hotel, hitting with the tip of the blade mere inches away from the black button eyes. Today, she focused more on her footwork, the quick steps she took in here would transfer easily out on the battlefield. There was a fire reignited in her soul as she slashed and gashed at the innocent little thing. A part of her almost felt bad for the defenseless little guy. Almost. It’s not like she was cutting any holes in the white fabric, and the sandbag could easily take a beating.


Lunge, slash, parry, fade. She even threw in a few blows with her knuckle for good measure. With the way she handled the blade in her hand, one could mistake her fluid motions for dancing. The same fiery passion was in the heated motions, too, albeit with a much different motive.


A few minutes went by, with the young woman slashing at the sandbag. With one quick motion, and a kick off of her feet, she landed an attack that sent the sandbag flying across the wooden floor. Breathing heavily from such a taxing expense, she wiped at her brow, satisfied with the work she had done.


Aparently, she wasn’t the only one who was impressed.


A series of claps startled her back into reality, quickly turning back into fight mode. She drew her Falchion before her, raised at the unknown entity in the room.


”Whoa there, pumpkin. Can’t your dear old dad watch you hard at work?”


Almost instantly, Lucina let her guard down. If there was one man in her life that she trusted, it was the one before her. A smile soon stretched over her face. “Well, father, a little notice beforehand would’ve been nice.”


Chrom laughed at that, before shrugging. “Oh, you know me. Turning up at the most inconvenient times.” He mused, before embracing his daughter in a hug. “Looks like you’ve learned quite a bit in my absence. What you did to that poor sandbag looks just like what the Hero King would’ve done many years ago.”


”You’ve met Marth?” Lucina asked, tilting her head to the side.


”What? Honey, Marth’s been long dead. Many, many years ago. Before either of us were even born.”


”No! He’s here!” Lucina insisted, much to the shock of the man before her. “I’ve fought him before in these Smash Tournaments. I forgot you had never attended.”


”Hey, yes I have!” Chrom rebuked. “... When, eh... When Robin called for me...”


Lucina rolled her eyes at that. “Doesn’t count.”


”Does too!”


”Father, please, you’re being childish!” Lucina taunted back.


”Hmph... I do suppose you’re right.” Chrome mumbled. For a moment he was deep in thought. “So... You’ve... You’ve met the Hero King?”


”Met him? I’m his echo fighter.”


”Ech-?! What?! Why didn’t you tell me this before?!”


Lucina simply shrugged. “I suppose it never came up in conversation.”


”My, the Hero King... Here in Smash...” Chrom mused, rubbing at his chin. “... I... I must be prepared to fight him if such an opportunity arises.” His eyes rose to his daughter... before he drew his blade. “En garde, Lucina.”




”En garde!... C’mon. Can’t you spar a little with your old man?”


A moment of silence came between the two... before Lucina drew her own sword. “I... Suppose there can be no harm to it. Come at me, father. Allow me to show you my skill!”


Chrom grinned at that. “Atta girl!”


With that, the two exchanged blows with their swords, hilt to hilt, blade to blade. Again and again they traded their shots and parries, neither of which being allowed to get a hit on the other. Chrom would swoop one way, and Lucina would come the other, the metal of the two Falchions clanging against each other like chains at a meat factory. For minutes at a time they sparred, lunging and blocking, chopping and parrying, until...


”Argh!” Chrom groaned, as the tip of Lucina’s blade made contact with his sword arm. Instantly, the older swordsman fell, dropping his sword to his side.


”Father!” Lucina shouted, rushing quickly to his side. “Father, are you alright?”


Holding him steady, he held the place where she had cut him. Slowly, blood trickled out of the (luckily, shallow) slice in his arm. “Yes... Yes, I-I’m fine... Looks like I could learn a thing or two from you, heh?” He said, with a soft chuckle before wincing in pain.


”OhmygodsI’msosososorry!” Lucina apologized, nearly on the verge of tears. “Come, we... We must take you to the medical wing!”


Dr. Mario had hardly finished setting up shop, before Lucina and Chrom came bursting through his door.


”Mamma Mia, the tournament hasn’t even started!” The doctor groaned. Looks like medicine could never rest...

Chapter Text

“Daisy!” Luigi called through the crowd of people, his arm raised and waving behind some lumbering oaf. “Hey, Daisy! Wait up!” He shouted, pushing his way through the people. 


The princess of Sarasaland heard his shouting, turning quickly from where she stood. In her hands, she held an assortment of weaponry that would assist her in her first battle. A golf club, a tennis racket, a frying pan, and a parasol that had been issued to her from the Master Office. Something about remaining true as an ‘echo’, or whatever. Squinting through the crowd, she saw the lanky moustachioed man nearly tripping over himself to try and catch up to her. “Oop! Careful, meatball! You might hurt yourself! Or someone might hurt you instead!”


Her concern wasn’t exactly empty. Ganondorf was giving the little dweeb quite the stink-eye, something Luigi noticed and quickly apologized for. As he was facing the King of Evil, he bumped back-first into something more... Furry. Incineroar wasn’t too happy about the plumber ruffling his fur. 


“O-Oh! S-so, so s-sorry M-Mr. In-Incineroar! W-Wo— YEAAAWOOOH!” Luigi screamed, startled, as the big cat picked him up and hurled him towards the wall where Daisy stood. He hit it with a Crack!, before tumbling down against the floor. “... M... Mamma Mia...”


”Oh my goodness, Luigi! Are you okay?!” Daisy asked, stooping down to the floor to help him up. He looked dazed, but offered her a loopy smile and a thumbs up from underneath the brim of his signature hat.


”Peachy as a... a piranha plant in a pot!” He retorted. Quickly, he got a hold of himself, his entire body burning with shame. How could’ve he been so clumsy? “I... I uh just... wanted to wish you some good luck for your first match, is all... I-I know it’s-a wrackin’ on the nerves... but I’m-a certain you’re going to do great.”


Daisy gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you, Luigi... but did you really have to get thrown against the wall to tell me that?”


”H-Heh... It, uhm... It got your attention?”


”You’re such a dork.” She chuckled, giving him a noogie. “See ya, ‘stache! Tell me how it goes!”


”Y-You t-too!!” He called back, watching as she went to her assigned flower entrance portal. Rubbing the back of his head from where he’d been hit, and readjusting the weight of the Poltergust on his back, he headed to the green warp pipe labeled with his name on it.




”Let’s-a gooo...” Luigi said cautiously as he jumped from his pipe, hands pressed firmly to his cheeks. Oh, it had been too long.




Who would he be fighting today? He looked over to where his opponent would warp in... and his heart dropped.


”Yooo-oooh!” Daisy sing-songed, waving with her parasol on her shoulder.




A million thoughts raced through Luigi’s head as he weighed the situation. In a fraction of a second, one thing became very clear to him.


There’s no way I can fight her.




Only now did Daisy realize who she was up against. She waved to him, with a smile on her face. “Long time no see, lean grean machine! Can’t believe you’re the first one I get to wipe the floor with!”


Luigi stammered for a response, completely lost for words. He stood frozen, completely in shock. “I-I, I, Uhm, we... I...”


”Well?” Daisy responded, raising her fists. “Are you gonna fight me or am I gonna have to come over there and lay you out?” She asked. Luigi was acting... strange. Stranger than usual. Daisy let out a huff. “What? Do you think I’m not capable or something?”


”N-No!” Luigi responded back. “I-It’s not that a-at all! Y-you’ve made a mist—“


Luigi didn’t even get to finish the sentence before he got a mouth full of golf club.


”Pathetic, Luigi. Absolutely pathetic!” Daisy huffed, leaving the results area. She was fuming mad with how easily she had kicked Luigi to the curb. Three stocks, and he couldn’t even take half of one of hers. Only once did he hit her the entire match, and she was pretty sure it was on accident. “You are an absolute pathetic waste of a fighter slot!!”


Ouch. That hurt. “H-Hey, Daisy... I—“


”No! I don’t want to hear it, Luigi!” She shouted, the anger in her eyes burning brightly. “I watch you going toe-to-toe with that brother of yours, or one of those swords fighters, or even Princess Peach for goodness sake, and you can’t even give me a fight to remember for my first one ever?! It’s disgraceful, Luigi! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!”


With that, Daisy stormed away, leaving Luigi behind.


”Oh my-a stars...” Luigi mumbled sadly to himself. He’d never seen her so angry before... and most definitely not at him. “... I really am just a-... A... a failure, aren’t I?” 


With a head drooped downward, and a hat covering his teary eyes, Luigi trudged back to his hotel room.


He’d ruined any chances he thought he had with her, hadn’t he?

Chapter Text

"What do you mean, 'not a villian'?!" King Dedede asked in utter disbelief. "I'm most definitely a villain! I'm the big baddie of Kirby! Remember when I stole all the food from Dreamland?! That was pretty evil, you guys!"


"Was." Ganondorf retorted coldly, not even looking up from his poker cards. "That was pretty evil and self-centered of you, Dedede. But you haven't been living up to what you used to do. Tell me, when was the last time you did anything remotely evil? When was the last time you tried to throw the hero off track, and take everything for yourself?"

"Dat's easy!" The penguin shot back, pointing his mitten at the king of evil. "Jus' a few months back I tried to kick Kirby to th' curb! I even had this wicked transformation and everything! I grew big, strong arms, l-like this!" He said, flexing his flabby arms in front of the other villains. They simply mumbled among themselves, some disapprovingly shaking their heads. "I-I did! Nearly took down my whole castle!"


"Right, right. We, ah... We all believe you." Wolf responded. "... But, if you don't mind me asking, was that of your own accord? Or was there some outside force pushing you towards this... transformation?"


"I..." The King stopped. The others looked at him, as if awaiting an answer. Dedede puffed out his chest in frustration. "You guys welcomed me with open arms in Brawl! And then with less open arms in the unnamed fourth one!"


"And now those arms are closed, Dedede." Came Bowser's gruff voice. Bowser laid his cards down on the table, revealing a full house. "Read 'em and weep, low-lives." Groans were heard from all around, as Bowser scooped up the pot. Gold coins, Rupies of varying colors, and a handful of bananas came into the King Koopa's arms, as he laughed at the other's dismay. 


"It's not that we don't want you here anymore." Ganondorf said, after retrieving the rest of the cards to re-deal. "We've simply ran out of room here. As you can see, this tournament brought in more despicable scum than I've ever seen in my life. I don't think you'd even be able to handle the amount of evil that is passed around here anymore."


King Dedede looked at the people (and creatures) that sat around the small card table. Ridley, Dark Samus, Mewtwo-- He glared an extra long time at King K. Rool-- and an empty chair. Quickly, he pointed at it. "There's still an empty chair! Whattya numskulls pullin' on me here?! Can't believe you guys... This's gotta be some kinda practical joke!" He said, making a move towards the chair. "Ha-ha, very funny you g--"


Ganondorf stood, along with the rest of them, reaching for their weapons. Obviously, Dedede was intimidated. "Heh... Hehh... Right." He said airily, softly pushing down the barrel of the gun Wolf had held against his beak. "... Looks like you guys ain't kiddin'... Well, if that seat ain't fer me, then who in the hell's it for?"


"Can't you read?" Wolf asked.


"It says 'reserved for Piranha Plant'." Came Mewtwo's telepathic voice. A shudder when through the lot of them. No one was ever going to get used to that.




Everyone in the group voiced their agreement to the statement.


The King was royally ticked off at this point, slamming his hammer against the ground. "FINE." He huffed. "I don't need none ah you, but you all sure need me! You'll regret the day you kicked me out! I'm more of ah villain than any ah you's combined!"


"Don't feel too bad, Dedede. You can always hang out with the... erm, other villains." Bowser said, hooking a clawed appendage towards a smaller table. At that table sat all eight koopa kids, and two reserved seats. One for Dark Pit, who decided he was too good for them, and the other for Wario, who'd been missing for a few days at that point. All the other villains burst out laughing, except for Dark Samus, who ominously kept watch on Dedede.


If he had fingers, he would be flicking them off as he stormed out. "Those neanderthals thinkin' they's too good for me... Thinkin' I's been playin' it too nice with the heroes... I'll show them. They'll learn..."


It was at this moment that King Dedede decided to become the greatest villain at the Smash Tournament. They were going to pay.


"Now now... Where were we?" Wolf asked, picking his cards back up again.  

Chapter Text

In the courtyard, the two Pokemon trainers found themselves walking and talking about battle strategy. Red spoke of how he liked switching between all three of his beloved Pokemon, whereas Leaf preached the benefits of choosing one for the match-up and abusing the opponent's weak spots with the 'mon's strength. It was quite the enjoyable time, picking apart one another to see how they liked to take on the challengers. It took all kinds to be the very best, right?


Turning a corner, the two youngsters were met with an interesting sight before them, one they would've never seen in the likes of their Kanto home. Before them strode Incineroar, walking along with all the pride in the world. It was what he was known for, after all. On one shoulder he held the much smaller Pichu, and on the other sat Pikachu. Quickly, the two trainers ducked inside a bush to watch the spectacle going on before their very own eyes.


"Whoa... Who's that Pokemon?" Red asked Leaf, his eyes glowing with curiosity. The creature walking down the path was one he'd never imagined in his life.


"I... Don't know." Leaf whispered back, her eyes filled with the same star struck gaze as Red's.


Thinking on her feet, Leaf grabbed for her Pokedex, scanning the not-so-pocket sized Pokemon. Instantly, the dex shot to life. "Incineroar, the heel Pokemon. Incineroar has a selfish, violent personality, and loves to show off for the audience. Using wrestling moves, Incineroar forces opponents to run the ropes and attacks with powerful, damaging throws. However, Incineroar is said to be good with children and baby Pokemon."


"I guess that explains the Pichu." Red hummed in response. For a moment, the duo watched the bipedal feline strut around the grass. It looked so powerful... So demanding! Why couldn't Kanto-- or even Johto for that matter-- produce that magnificent creature?


At once, both trainers spoke, as if intertwined. "Dibs."


Their eyes locked. A competitive flare had been ignited just by hearing the other say that four letter word. "Oh no you don't." Leaf said, shaking her finger at him. "saw it first, so it should be my Pokemon!"


"As if!" Red shot back. "saw Incineroar first! What do you need another fire type for? Red is literally my name! There's no possible way I'm going to let you get your hands on him!"


The two bickered back and forth for a while, trying to decide which of the two of them should be this beast's trainer. As this went on, Incineroar simply walked out of sight. 


When the trainers came back to, they noticed a certain fiery feline was no longer in the vicinity. Together, they sighed of disappointment. "Well, that could've gone better..." Red mumbled, shaking his head slowly. "... It's probably owned by one of the Smash Tournament organizers anyway... There's no way they'd let just some wild Pokemon in here, or something..."


"That's where you're wrong." Came a voice from inside both of their heads. "Looks like you two have a lot to learn when it comes to Smash..."


"W-Who said that?!" Leaf asked, looking around for the source of the voice. "S-Show yourself!"


All of a sudden, Leaf's Pokedex shot to life again. "Mewtwo, the genetic Pokemon. Mewtwo was to be a clone of the mythical Pokemon, Mew, but was ended in a failure. Proving to be too powerful for the scientists who created him, Mewtwo escaped and has sworn vengeance against both human and Pokemon kind."


"Mewtwo?!" Red asked, stunned.


"In Smash?!" Leaf inquired, shocked.



Chapter Text

Lucas had been having some trouble getting back into the whole Smash Tournament thing. Sure, he was happy to be back... but his pacifistic nature made it hard for him to really get back into the nitty-gritty of it all. In Brawl, watching Ness being shot before him gave him a reason to fight... Just like what had happened when his mother had tragically passed in the woods of Tazmily Village. The sting of that, however, had began to fade again, and when faced with a fight or flight situation, Lucas always found himself going with the latter. He wished he had a reason to give his all, but really, he came up dry.


It was in this strange longing that lead him to the Mother of the Cosmos. Rosalina. He couldn't say what it was that pushed him towards her. It felt as if it were a gravitational pull, sucking him in and bringing him closer and closer. An allure that couldn’t be shaken. Something about the way those soft eyes gazed so fondly upon her Lumas... Something about her calm and collected demeanor. It was something about her that made him feel safe. Something that made him feel loved.


There was something motherly about her.


It didn't take long for Rosalina to catch Lucas's wayward glances. His eyes seemed to travel from her to the Lumas, and then back to her again. One day at lunch, she reached out to him, gesturing for the young boy to come and sit with her. With a hesitant heart (as he was known for), he approached. Rosalina saw in him the same timid heart of a puppy. A hurt, lost puppy. From what she had heard of him, that analogy wasn't too far off, either. Gently, Rosalina took his hand and placed it on the head of the star creatures, much to the delight of the yellow Luma that hovered before him. With a happy murr, it got closer to Lucas, leaning into his soft touch. The hesitance in Lucas's eyes disappeared, as he rose his chin up to the mother figure before him. Rosalina simply smiled, knowing in that simple moment they had bonded deeper than just two fighters at a Tournament. 


Lucas was forever grateful of her kindness. It would take longer for him to open up fully to her... and Rosalina was alright with that. She knew that all good things came to those who waited.


"Lucas, darling, do you have everything you need for your match?" Came Rosalina's soft voice. "I know you can be forgetful sometimes... Remember when you tried to fight Lucario without your stick?"


Lucas came out of his hotel room, dragging his stick behind him like a club. Gently, he nodded up to the taller woman, showing her the wood he had in hand. Weeks had passed by, and the two had grew closer from their exchange in the lunchroom. The Lumas had began to see the blond-haired boy as one of their own, making gleeful sounds whenever they saw him, and whirring louder whenever he played with them. When Rosalina took up the responsibility of being the caretaker of the Lumas, she never expected to add a PSI-enhanced young boy into her ever growing family.


"Good. I just wanted to make sure my favorite youngster is getting all the help he can get out there on the field." She hummed, gently rustling his hair. Softly, he giggled at the ordeal. It was pleasantly happy sounding. Music to Rosalina's ears. 


Appreciatively, Lucas looked up at her. She, too, had suffered much in her lifetime. While he might not be the most talkative of the fighters, he was a good listener... and Rosalina wasn't shy from revealing her own backstory. One day, he hoped he could reopen the book where the demons danced in his soul, and have her help him face the troubles that he had.


Quickly, and without thinking, he wrapped himself around her middle, squeezing tightly. "... Thank you..." He whispered to her. "... For everything..."


Those four simple words struck a chord in Rosalina's heart. Returning the favor, she squeezed him right back. "Don't worry about it, Lucas. You deserve all the love I can give you."


With one final squeeze, Lucas parted, glancing back at her. He had wiped his eyes clear of any tears, before smiling backwards at her. The boy had the most dazzling smile... She just wished she could see it more often. That little boy deserved the best this world had to offer. 


And she intended to give it to him.

Chapter Text

"Do you ever just sit and wonder what life would be like back home, Link?" The angel boy, Pit, asked the Hylian hero, who was busy cleaning the Master Sword. Link didn't seem to be paying too much attention, but gave Pit the occasional head nod. That was all Pit needed to keep blabbering on. "Yeah, I do too. I wonder who's keeping Skyworld safe while me and Lady Palutena are away... I sure hope it stays peaceful there. With Hades and Medusa both gone, things've gotta stay good, right?... Though, Viridi and the forces of nature are still out there..."


For a moment, Pit blissfully gazed out a window, letting the cool of the sun shine upon his auburn hair. It felt surprisingly nice. All the controlled air temperatures of the hotel gave him a subtle longing to be back home. "You're an adventurer, right?"


The Hero of the Wild rose his blade up to inspect it, seeing a pair of cool blue eyes staring back at him. At Pit's words, he gave a glance over, before nodding gently. His eyes ventured out further into the lobby, watching the hotel staff come and go, holding foods, towels, and all the other assortments one could hope to receive when they checked in.


Pit made a hum of acknowledgement. "Right. Must be fun to go out on your own, eh? Let the wind carry you wherever it is that it will? Fight monsters... Get in sword fights... Do everything at your own pace, huh?"


Fun's not quite the word for it. Link thought, remembering his time facing his first Lynel, or climbing up Death Mountain without the proper gear. Though, he did suppose it was exciting. Again, he nodded his head at Pit, returning to painstakingly polishing the sword in his possession.


"Hah, yeah, figured. Always wondered what it'd be like, being free to fly around. Though, I can't really fly to begin with... Without Lady Palutena, I'd just be a human with wings on his back. How crazy is that? An angel who can't fly... I've seen people fly around who don't even have wings! Like... Like Kirby! And Dedede! What kind of a cruel world is this?!" Pit huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "... Five minutes is how long the gift of flight lasts, and then my wings burn up and I plummet... Maybe I aught to get a fancy glider like you, eh?" Pit joked, glancing over at the Hylian.


Link offered a small noise in response. Not quite a laugh, but not displeased, either. Gently, he replaced the sword into it's place on his back, before taking out his bow. He worked tirelessly to make sure it was in proper working order, going so far as to draw it. He made sure not to dry-fire it, however, being cautious of its durability.


Pit watched in fascination as to what Link did. That bow functioned very differently than the bow-sword hybrid he carried along with him. For a moment he was silent, staring.


Only a moment, however.


"... You have one of those evil clone things too, right? I thought I saw a different Link walking around here..."


Link nodded. With the amount of Links here, he was surprised they didn't start their own club. What would they even talk about? Nothing, he presumed.


"Yeah. Crazy. I thought I was the only one who could say that. Seems like almost a trope around here, huh? First you, then me, then even Meta Knight..." Pit spoke humorously. After a moment, his smile slowly faded. "I... Don't think Dark Pit likes me very much... Which is like, weird. We're pretty much the same person! He's like, my clone!... Does Dark Link like you?"


Link looked at Pit, and then shook his head. That was all part of the 'evil' clone deal, wasn't it?


"Mmh. Do you think there's any way we could be... Like, I donno... Friends? I wanna give him a try, but he won't let me. Lady Palutena says it'll always be like this... That the mirror that made him made him despise my guts..."


Link nodded.


"... Shoot. Maybe some things are fate..." Pit sighed. "It's too bad they put us right next to each other and everything. Oh boy, I bet he just hates hearing my voice through the wall when I try to talk to him, huh?"


Yeah, probably. Again, Link nodded, gingerly replacing his bow. With a soft yawn, Link stretched his arms upwards. Maybe it was time to turn in for a little nap.


Another moment of silence passed between them, before Pit moved to get up. "... Thanks for talking with me, Link. We aughta do this again some time. Thanks again for the advice!"


With that, Pit moved to leave. Talk, huh? Link didn't do anything but listen. Oh well. Link moved to stand as well.


What a strange little creature.

Chapter Text

Another day of battles had come and gone, with some surprising victories. Lucas had overcome Cloud, and Pichu had beaten Bowser, much to the dismay of the Koopa King. Needless to say, after a day of so many intensive battles, the combatants were starved nearly half to death. It was time for dinner... but when they began to trickle in, something was amiss right away.


”What?! First you don’t serve chili dogs at 6 in the morning, and now you don’t have any food at all?!” Sonic asked the workers astonished. When the everyone heard this, they were just as shocked. Did they really eat that much? Did they really eat them out of house and home? Almost instantly, people began pointing fingers.


”Well, if Kirby didn’t eat so much, we’d be full right now!” Dark Pit accused, glaring at the pink puffball. 


“Poyo, poyo!” Kirby cheered happily, not knowing why everyone was looking at him right now. Ever the blissful one, he was.


”I, for one, blame Pac-Man.” Meta Knight chimed in. “Have you seen how much he eats? It’s enough for the rest of us combined!”


”Now, now... Let’s-a not get hasty...” Luigi said, trying to keep the peace.


”Can it, sting bean. We don’t take kindly to peace-keepers when we’re hungry.” Ganondorf shot his way. Luigi hurriedly muttered an apology, before slinking back behind Mario. He had complete confidence that his older brother could keep the King of Evil off his backside.


The comments shot at his brother irritated Mario, a fire being ignited inside of him. “You lay off, Ganondorf, or else you’ll feel-a the wrath of this Mario bro!”


”You think you’re so tough.” Ganon said, voice leaking with venom. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone where to knock you down a peg or two in a place where you can actually die?”


”Try me, Pig.”


”Ganondorf.” Came Zelda’s voice, just as spiteful as the King of Evil’s. “There is no need for such violence. Let me remind you there are three Links here. We only need one to seal you away forever.”


Link, Young Link, and Toon Link waved a dismissive ‘hello’ at the Gerudo. They wanted to have no part of this.


”Hmph.” Ganondorf scoffed, turning away. He had no retort to that. Instead, he pointed two fingers at his eyes, and then one at Mario.


”Screw-a you too, ass-a hole!” Mario returned, shaking his fist. “Such a jerk, that one...”


”We know.” Zelda responded with a sigh. “... It’s kind of his thing... but that’s a story for a whole different time...”


”Right, I, too, am glad that no one has died yet.” Simon piped in. “But this does not solve our quarrel. What are we to do if there is no food?”


The cast murmured among themselves for a minute. Until, finally, Palutena spoke.


”I have an idea.” Said the goddess. “Pit, Pittoo, there’s a city near by. About ten or so miles from here. I need you two to head there, and bring back some groceries for the hotel.” She commanded. “Do you think you could do that for us?”


”Anything for you, Lady Palutena!” Pit cheered. “Does this mean I get to use the power of flight?!”


”Well, of course. I need you to get there and back as fast as you can.”


”Awesome!!” Pit cheered again.


”What’s in it for me?” Dark Pit asked. “... because last time I checked, you aren’t my goddess.”


”You don’t starve, for starters.” Richter responded, to a few laughs.


Dark Pit glared at the vampire killer for a few seconds. “Fine. I’ll do it. But I’m not going to like it.”


”What does everyone want?” Pit asked, as cheerful as ever. “Oo! I know! Make a list!”


”Pit...” Palutena said, her voice patient. “You don’t know how to read, remember?”


”Oh, heh, right...” He said, rubbing the back of his head. Ever the forgetful one.


”But can.” Dark Pit said. “So what do you lowlifes want?”


”The souls of the innocent.” Ganondorf said.


”A bagel.” Fox said.


”... Right. So bagels it is.” Dark Pit responded, much to Ganondorf’s anguish.


”Alright! I’ll just look for something everyone can like!” Pit chirped in. “This is just like the good ol’ days, eh Pittoo.”


”Shut the Hell up and don’t call me that.” Pittoo said, a poison in his voice. 


“Alright! Alright, jeez... A please would’ve been nice.” Pit sighed. “... On your word, Lady Palutena.”


With that, the two angels set off towards the nearby shopping hotspot of Smashville, in the search of food.


From the comforts of his hotel room, King Dedede munched on a fresh, ripe Maximum Tomato, watching the security cameras with glee. His hotel room was chalk full of food, lining the walls and everywhere in between.


”Oh, this is just rich!” The King chortled through his food. “Ain’t no villain, huh? What now?! Dats right! I’m th’ most villainous fella here!!”


Cheerfully, Dedede shoveled more food into his mouth. Mm. Just like the good ol’ days!

Chapter Text

“Hey, Pittoo?” Asked Pit, flying alongside his echo.


”How many times do I have to tell you before you get it through your thick head?! Don’t. Call. Me. Pittoo!” The dark angel shot back.


”Fine! Fine... Hey, DP?” Pit asked.


Dark Pit sighed, a hand cupping his face, slowly dragging across his eyelids. “... That is significantly worse than Pittoo.” He muttered. Gods, he hopped this flight took longer than five minutes so he could plummet to his death.


“Okay, so no Pittoo, and no DP... What do you want me to call you then, oh nameless one?”


”Dark. Pit. Is that too much to ask for?” He asked. Pittoo didn’t think so, but just about everyone else did.


”Well, that’s a little... Weird, yknow?” Pit said. “I mean, I know you’re an evil clone and all, but still. Dark Pit is the best thing you could come up with?”


”You’ve got no problem calling Dark Samus ‘Dark Samus’, why is it so hard for you to call me Dark Pit?”


“I mean, you’re right and all... but what does Samus call Dark Samus?”


Dark Pit sighed. “Asshole, Murdering Scum, Faker... I could go on.”


”At least give you the decency of a name.” Pit huffed in return. Maybe a friendship with his clone wasn’t what it was cut out to be.


”Just shut it, okay? My name is Dark Pit and I’d appreciate it if you called me by that. Besides. I think we’re almost there.”


When the two angels touched down at the entrance to Smashville, a certain blue hedgehog was waiting for them, munching on his favorite treat. Wiping some dribbles of chili off his face, he watched the two of them land. “Whoa, hey fellas. Didn’t expect to see you two here. What took so long?”


”Heya, Sonic!” Pit chirped happily, exchanging a high-five with the blue blur. “How’d you get here so fast?”


”I took the bus, how else?” Sonic replied, a hint of playful sarcasm in his voice.


... Sarcasm that Pit didn’t quite pick up on. “Wow... that must’ve been one fast bus!”


Pittoo let out a groan. Why was this his life? Sonic nudged him. “Hey, is he always this sharp?”


”He’s good with a bow, but not much else. One time, I saw him trying to catch a goldfish in the lobby with his bare hands. Through the glass.”


”So I’ll take that as a yes.” Sonic humored.


”Whoa, this place is huge!” Pit exclaimed, taking in the sights before him. “I’ve never been in a shopping center before... Where do we even go? How do we even pay for the food?”


”I had those same questions, my white-winged friend.” Sonic mused, patting Pit on the shoulder blade. “What I do when I’m in trying times like these is too look for places with pictures of food on them, and then charge everything to the Smash Hotel.” The hedgehog explained. “Think you could do that, pal?”


”Oh, you bet I can!”


After an hour or so of gathering resources, the trio came to the checkout area with arms full of groceries. Their treasures spanned many tastes and backgrounds. Bananas, Italian noodles, and even a few cloves of garlic were brought up. The Mii working the counter looked them up and down, before looking at the food before him. “... are you three gonna eat all this? Or are you stocking up for winter or something?”


”The Smash Hotel’s outta food.” Sonic explained, handing him the card that held its information.


”So they made us their errand boys.” Dark Pit scoffed.


”Oh man... I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Pit sighed, rubbing his stomach.


”... Right. So is this where I send the bill?” Asked the Mii, holding the card.


”Yep! Just put it on our tab!” Sonic hummed to the other.


”We’d better be getting back... I’m sure everyone is wasting away!” Pit said, as soon as the groceries were paid for, taking his bags into his hands. Wow, where they heavy!


Sonic grinned at the two angels. “I’ll race ya!”

Palutena: The pits and sonic are on their way back home. They should be back in under five minutes.


Pokémon Trainer Leaf: about time!


Robon (Male): can’t wait! i’ll be down in a second!


King Dedede: what’s the matter? you guys eat the hotel outta house and home?


Kirby: >:(


King Dedede:  what’s that look for, puffball? you know something I don’t?


Kirby: >>>:(


King Dedede: yeesh. Someone’s cranky today, and I don’t mean the kong!


King Dedede: What? That was funny!


King Dedede: guys?


King Dedede: ... I’ll be down in a few minutes.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘THERE WAS NO FOOD’?” The announcer asked over the intercom.


”We mean ‘there was no food’. None. Not even a piece of lettuce.” Falco responded, through his beak-full of birdseed and pepper. “I thought we were perfectly clear.”


”He is right, you know.” Rosalina said, dispersing the star bits to her Lumas, and giving a hearty serving of actual human food to Lucas. “When we came in, all the food was gone.”




The head staffer of the hotel appeared again in the dining area, wrench and hardhat in tow. “Yessir, Mr. Announcer Sir!”




The man gave a salute to the disembodied voice. “You can count on me!” With that, he turned to leave again.


From his spot between Luigi and Ness, King Dedede tried his hardest not to burst out laughing. It was the perfect crime! And he was the perfect criminal!


With one hand, he shoveled another Maximum Tomato into his beak, as giddy as a schoolgirl. He was going to make it back into the villain’s club for sure!


Chapter Text

“Here... Can you move-a your arm like this?” Dr. Mario asked to a heavily casted Wario, demonstrating a simple up and down motion. Wario tried, only to let out a groan of pain. With a sigh, Dr. Mario made a mark on his clipboard. “Over a week now and-a no closer to recovery. This’ll teach you to piss off-a the villager, eh?” The good doctor humored. He was met only by a glare.


“... alright. No sense of humor when you’re the butt of the joke. Noted. Here’s your daily dose of meds, Wario. Open wide.” The biker did as instructed, taking the healing items down his gizzard. “Well, you are making some improvements, at the very least. You can open your big mouth by yourself now!”


With that taken care of, the doctor continued with his rounds, checking his schedule for who was next. Returning to his desk, he pulled out the sheet of paper with the list of appointments. With one hand, he fixed his specticals. “Come in, Yoshi.” Dr. Mario called, looking towards the door.


In came the green dinosaur, who appeared to be an extra sickly shade of green. “Yosh...” Yoshi whined, holding his stomach.


“Mm... Right. Come here, let me take-a your temperature.” Dr. Mario instructed, taking a thermometer from his coat pocket.


Yoshi obliged, rolling his long tongue out onto the table.


“Mamma Mia... I’m a doctor, not a vet...” Dr. Mario murmured to himself. However, he went through, placing the thermometer on his tongue.


After a minute or so, it beeped, and the good doctor took to examining it. “Hm. Yes, just as I expected. You are running a temp.” He mused, much to Yoshi’s disappointment. Dr. Mario rummaged around for a moment, before taking out a baggie of yellow and blue pills. “Here. Take-a these every four hours, and no Smashing until you feel better, okie dokie?”


“Yoshi, Yosh...” The dinosaur mumbled in return. He took the pills, and turned to leave.


“Another mystery solved, Mario.” He mused to himself, taking his flask and drinking from it. Mm, that potion of endurance was strong stuff. Once more, he looked to his schedule. The door, however, opened on its own.


Through his rimmed glasses, he saw the princess who stood before him. “Ah, Lucina. How are you this fine morning?” The doctor asked with a soft, inviting hum to his voice.


Lucina, however, blew it off. “How is my father doing? Is he alright.”


With a sigh, Dr. Mario remover his glasses, placing them gently down on the desk. “Lucina... I’m afraid I have bad news.”


“W-What?! Bad news?” She asked, eyes widening in surprise.


“Oh yes... I’m afraid your father has died, Lucina.”


“D-D... Died?! B-but he... he was fine yesterday...” Lucina said, head swimming. Her heart had sunk. She felt like she was going to vomit.


All of a sudden, Dr. Mario burst out laugh. “Oh-a my God! You should’ve seen the look on your face!” He laughed, pounding the desk.




“You’re father’s fine! He’s made a full recovery, and should be good t—“


Lucina drew her sword on the doctor, which shut him up. Now, a fury burnt through her.


“Whoa! Whoa! It was just a joke! Lighten up!” He exclaimed. “You’re free to go fetch him from-a his room and go!”


With a huff, Lucina left. The doctor muttered to himself, taking another swing of his potion. That was uncalled for... he wondered what her deal was.


With a stretch, he crossed Chrom’s name off his list.


Another successful day down.

Chapter Text

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the early morning, Snake sat in the empty lobby, toying with the tablet he’d been given. What a strange piece of technology... he wanted to know all the ins and outs of the gadget. There were all the essentials, of course. The Smash Chat, a map of the hotel, and...


“... A translator?” The stealth operator muttered to himself, squinting at the button. “Huh. Interesting.” Instantly, his curiosity was piqued. Many questions passed through his mind, wondering as to what it could possibly translate.


Right on queue, Orange, the Orange Inkling, came wandering into the lobby, yawning softly as she did. Rubbing at her eyes, she stumbled along. It was much too early for anyone else to be awake at this point. Snake watched her go along, before looking back to his translator. Bingo.


Pressing the ‘translate’ button, he scrolled through a list, until he came to a language option entitled ‘Inklish’. That sounded about right. Clicking the button, a box showed up on the screen. ‘Inklish to English, now being directed to your earpiece, Solid Snake!’ He reached up, and with two fingers, touched his earpiece. Hm. How did they get in there? He decided not to question it... they probably got access to it after he signed that waver.


“Hey, kid, come here.” Snake called to the Orange inkling. She looked his way, a shocked expression on her face. Just those four simple words seemed to snap her out of her groggy, sleepy state and into full consciousness.


“Whoa!! You speak Inklish?!” A voice said into his earpiece. Wow, this was some high-tech stuff! Needless to say, he was impressed.


“I suppose I do now.” Snake said, a soft chuckle in his voice. “I’ve... actually got a few questions for you, kid, if you don’t mind me asking.”


“Shoot for it!” The girl cheered, coming to sit next to the mercenary. “Don’t be shy! I might have fangs, but I don’t bite!”


“Right, right... I was just... trying to make sense of you. If you don’t mind me asking... what even are you?” He asked, tilting his head off to the side.


“An inkling!” She responded, striking a pose as if to signify her point. “Orange is my name, if that’s what you were lookin’ for.”


“An inkling, hm?” He hummed in response, gently tapping at his chin.


“Yep!” Orange exclaimed, taking a seat directly across from him. “Cod’s gift to fashion, and half-squid!... And you’re a human, right?!” She asked, her eyes gleaming like starlight. “That’s absolutely radical! I’ve never seen one up so close before!”


“You’ve... never seen a human?” He asked. “But... you know what they are? How is that possible?”


“We find their fossils all the time!”


“Fossil— Hold on, what year did you say you were from again?”


The girl scratched her chin, as if deep in thought. “Mmm... I’m not sure. I think somewhere in the 5,000s?” She said.


“How is that...? In what world does that...?” Snake sputtered, more flabbergasted than he thought he would be at the beginning of this conversation.


She shrugged. “I donno! The best way I can explain it is multiverse mumbo gumbo.”


“Hngh, I see... So you come from a timeline where humans go extinct... You must’ve evolved from them.” Snake suggested, invoking a nod from her. “Interesting... Say, where do you come from?”


“I’m from Inkopolis, the most splattastic city this side of the surf! There’s so much to do! Grub, shopping, and don’t get me started on the Splat Fests!” She exclaimed.


“Splat Fests, eh? What’re those?” Snake asked, leaning in closer. He was entirely intrigued by her now, on the edge of his seat.


“Ooo, they’re just fishin’ great! Excuse the language, I’m just so excited! Basically, Off The Hook gets a message from the Devine Ones from over 12,000 years ago, and we have a big turf war over them! Like, like... which is better? Ketchup or mustard? Or bread or rice? It’s a huge deal for us inklings.”


Snake blinked. “... A turf war?” He asked. “... Are you telling me that you come from a timeline where men, women, and children are raised to fight over these frivolous things?”


“Yep! Isn’t it just bombastic?”


In that moment, Snake was reminded of what he fought for. He fought to protect the innocent... So that they wouldn’t have to experience the Hell that war could be. He did the dirty work so they didn’t have to. And before him sat a young girl, no older than 14, explaining to him how war was a part of her society, and she loved it. “... Not quite the words I’d use for it, kid...” Snake said, before ruffling her hair. “You impress me, Orange. In a good way. Not many could take on such a challenge and remain so cheerful... and I gotta say, your gear is impressive, too.”


“For eel? Yeah!” She smiled up to him. “You see these shoes? They give me +1 speed when using my roller!” She explained, before turning more inquisitive. “My turn for some questions!”


Snake gave a small smile. “Shoot. I’m all ears.”


“What benefit does your bandana give you?”


Again, Snake chuckled. “My bandana?... Infinite ammo.”


“Whoa!! So fresh!” She cheered. “Can I try it on?”


“Sorry kid. It’s for professionals only.”

Chapter Text

“I just-a don’t know, yknow?” The green, lanky plumber sighed out, sinking lower into the cushy armchair he was in. “It just feels like every time something is-a goin’ my way, I mess it up in-a one way or another.”


On his lap sat an adorable, yellow mouse, looking up at the other intently. “Pichu!” Pichu mewed, rubbing against Luigi’s arm. Obviously, it might not be the best listener in the world... but at this point? Luigi was willing to talk to anything that listened.


”Am I really all that bad? I do everything my-a brother does, and he gets all of the credit. I try so hard to do the best I can in everything I do, but I freeze up one-a time here in the Smash Tournaments, and suddenly Daisy won’t even look my way... I’ve-a really gone and screwed myself over this time, eh?”


”Pi, Pi!” Pichu exclaimed happily, nuzzling against the denim of Luigi’s overalls. This caused Luigi to crack a small, genuine smile. If only he could be as innocent and carefree as this little guy. Unfortunately, he was too timid and fearful to even be close to that. As a little thank-you, he scratched the little mouse behind it’s diamond-shaped ears. “Piiii...” It murmured happily.


”I’ve gotta do something to right what I did... B-but I don’t know what! How do I say-a sorry for not kicking her teeth in?” He let out a sigh. It was hopeless. He was hopeless. Soon enough, she’d be swept off her feet by some other fighter here, and he’d remain in the background. “Pah, not like that’s anything new.” He muttered to himself at the thought.


As Luigi prattled on to the Pichu who probably wasn’t even listening, Mario came wandering by. “Luigi?” Mario asked his younger brother. Luigi seemed to tense, a move that startled the baby Pokémon in his lap. Quickly, Pichu darted up and onto Luigi’s head, shocking him in the process.


”Ow! Owowowow!” Luigi cried, holding his head. Pichu let out a startled cry, before hopping down and onto the floor. Quickly, he scurried away. Luigi watched him run away, a gentle sigh escaping him. “Mamma Mia, Mario... Now-a you’ve done it...”


”Luigi, I’ve been-a lookin’ for you all over!” Mario interjected. “I haven’t seen you outta combat in over a week! Where’ve you been?”


”Hiding, self loathing, and-a tryin’ to be seen as little as possible. Did I succeed?”


Mario let off a gentle sigh, moving to sit in the chair next to him. “Well... I suppose. But that isn’t quite-a the healthy way to go about it.” Gingerly, the older Mario brother placed a hand on the others leg. “Tell me, Luigi. What’s on-a your mind?”


Luigi fidgeted in his chair, his feet going over one another. “... You... You know that first fight I had?”


”The one where you got-a your face smothered across-a th’stage by Princess Daisy? Oh yeah. I’m-a sure everyone in the whole-a hotel knows about it.”


“... Yeah. That’s-a the whole thing.” Luigi sighed, holding the bridge of his nose. “Because I froze up, Mario... I-I couldn’t fight-a Daisy!”


Mario’s eyes squinted. “What do you mean, little bro?... You fight-a Princess Peach all the time, and are fine! And Princess Lucina, and Princess Zelda...” Mario counted out on his fingers.


”It’s-a different, Mario... Daisy is different...” Luigi explained. “She was-a the only one who would-a give me th’ time of day... and now she won’t even look at me anymore. It... It’s the worst feeling.”


”Mmh... I think I understand...” Mario mused. “... You’ve got it bad, Luigi.”


Luigi crinkled his brow. “... Wh-What do you mean by that, bro?”


Mario chuckled softly to himself. “I mean that-a Princess Daisy’s got-a your heart on a string, and you’d do anything to let her keep it, no?”


Timidly, Luigi dropped his eyes. Looks like his older brother had him all figured out. He should’ve talked to him earlier. “... What... What do I do now? Go and apologize for-a not kickin’ her teeth in?”


”Well, ah, no...” Mario mused, scratching at the back of his head. “What... What you’ve gotta do is—“


”If you don’t mind, old chap, I think I’ll intervene quickly.” Cappy interjected, popping off of Mario’s head. Luigi let out a startled yelp, cowering deeper into his chair. “Ah... My bad, Luigi! I forgot you aren’t used to me yet...”


Luigi let out a soft sigh, as he tried to get his heartbeat under control. His ticker seemed to be taking a lot of beatings recently. “A-ah, n-no... I-I’m-a sorry, Cappy... I-I thought-a you were a ghost... P-please, continue...”


”Thank you, my friend.” Cappy said, leisurely floating beside the two plumbers. “I hear you’ve gotten yourself into quite the pickle, no?”


”And a bad one at that.” Mario added, and Luigi agreed with a head nod.


”Well, moping around won’t fix anything! You must get out there, and go speak to this Princess Daisy! Perhaps she doesn’t even know how badly you’re hurt!”


”B-But... Cappy... Mario...” Luigi said, his voice filled with pleading. “I-I...” He sighed. “I... Don’t have the guts... What if I just-a make it worse?”


”What if you make it better?” Cappy retorted. Mario simply pointed to the hat in agreement.


”You won’t know until you try, Luigi.” Mario added, standing. He clapped a hand on Luigi’s shoulder. “Remember, I’m-a always here for you... If-a you need something, just-a ask, okay?”


Luigi gave his brother a gentle smile. “... Okay...”


Mario smiled right back. “Okay... C’mon, Cappy. We’ve gotta boxing match to judge.”


With that, the older Mario brother moved to leave, with Cappy moving to follow. Luigi, filled with a new kind of determination, also stood to leave. He could right this wrong! He knew for a fact he couldn’t live in the darkness that was Daisy’s cold shoulder.


As he left, he noticed a little yellow rat out of the corner of his eye. Smiling, he gently patted his shoulder. Pichu happily hopped up on his shoulder.


”I've gotta this all under control, don’t i, little buddy?”


To that question, Pichu gave him a shock, followed by a happy “Pichu! Pi!!”


Luigi sighed, straightening out his electrified moustache. “... I’ll take-a that as a yes.”

Chapter Text

With Diddy Kong perched in his usual spot on his back, Donkey Kong set off on a grand adventure. The hotel was absolutely massive, and the great ape was intent on exploring all of it. It was in his nature to explore every nook and cranny! Every tournament brought some new kind of excitement to the colossal building, after all. 


As the gorilla clambered around, inspecting every crack in the Smash Hotel’s walls, he noticed a door that was open just a crack. Giving one glance up at his chimp companion, he wandered inside. There was nothing stopping him from doing it, and the door just begged to be opened! Reaching up to grab the handle, DK pushed open the door.


The room was filled with all kinds of beautiful art. One depicted a mural with all the fighters currently partaking in the tournament. Donkey Kong let out a triumphant hoot as he noticed himself on a vine, and another when he spied Diddy in the air on his Rocket-Barrel Pack. Despite being nothing more than a gorilla in a tie, DK could appreciate a good portrait, especially when it captured his good side so well.


The rest of the room was rather unremarkable. Well, at least to the ape, anyway. To anyone else, it would be absolutely stunning. A movie theater with important how-to’s caught his attention for all of ten seconds, before he wandered on. In the middle of the room, he spotted a piano, and on top of that piano there were—


DK’s jaw dropped. On top of the piano was a bowl, piled high with a beautifully arranged assortment of fruits. Apples, watermelons, peaches... and, topping it all of, was one bright, yellow banana. What a treasure! Instantly, Donkey Kong was to the piano, moving almost too quickly for Diddy to keep hold. His entire mind was focused on the banana. Quickly, he moved to grab it.


Diddy became frightened, making loud noises and pounding on Donkey Kong’s back. For a moment, this distracted the big Kong, who glanced onto his back to see what his little buddy was on about. He retracted his hand subconsciously, not seeing what Diddy was on about. Pah, there was no time for this! A delicious banana was sitting right there waiting for him! Again, Donkey Kong reached for the banana... and so did someone else.


A green, scaly hand touched his and the banana. Following it up to the face and snout made DK understand what Diddy Kong was on about.


His eyes met with the bulging, bloodshot eye of the Kremling Kommamder. King K. Rool.


Samus: Oh my god they’re destroying the whole ******* hotel


Fox: What?! What are you talking about?!


Samus: The kongs and that fat crocodile. They smashed through the art room wall, and now they’re throwing punches at each other. They almost crushed Olimar


Mario: I knew it’d be nothing but bad news when they brought K Rool back...


Falco: you... know K. Rool?


Mario: Oh yeah. Played baseball with him. I think he was actually on DK’s team.


Daisy: He was.


Ike: Well, it’s nice to hear that those two have a storied past, but that doesn’t detract from the crisis at hand. What’re we gonna do about them? We can’t just let them tear down the entire hotel!


Roy: I mean... We could.


Ike: Let me rephrase. We won’t let them tear down the whole hotel.


Ryu: Ike is correct. We must subdue them, and quickly.


Ken: Yeah! What Ryu said!


Wolf: You Put the ‘echo’ in ‘echo fighter’ quite well, Ken.


Ken: Thanks! I think?


Lucina: What’s going on?


Lucina: Oh, a crisis. Wonderful.


Fox: Samus, you’ve got that stun gun of yours, yeah?


Samus: Yes, I do.


Fox: Snake? Snake are you lurking?


Snake: !


Snake: You’ve caught me.


Pit: Hah, the fox caught the snake. Ironic.


Wolf: Shut up, Pit.


Dark Pit: Shut up, Pit.


Dark Pit: Hmph, Wolf’s doing my job for me.


Wolf: Always a pleasure.


Fox: Here’s the plan, folks. Snake, you take DK down. Samus, you take K. Rool. With your tools, it should be easy to do. Though, you might need a few more tranqs than usual. These are big guys we’re talkin’ about here. We’ll assess the damages later.


Fox: everyone clear?


Samus: What about the little one?


Snake: She raises a good point, colonial.


Snake: Fox**


Fox: I’ll... talk him down? I donno. He can’t be that big of a threat. We had this huge thing in the Subspace Emmisary. I’m sure he still respects me.


Samus: If you say so.


Snake: On that note, let’s roll.


It took a good half-hour before the rag-tag team of Snake, Samus, and Fox were able to take the raging beasts down. DK only took a few shots from Snake’s tranquilizer, hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes. It helped that his aim was spot on, hitting the great ape twice in the back, and once in the arm.


Samus, on the other hand, had the hardest time in the world against King K. Rool. His thick, leathery skin deflected the shots Samus shot. It was a good thing the crooked king was distracted by a little monkey crawling all over him to really care. Eventually, Samus hit a direct hit in his bulging eye, stunning him and giving Samus enough time to subdue the croc.


Eventually, Fox was able to talk Diddy Kong down. Only after he beat of the unconscious body of K. Rool for a solid five minutes, and then on the conscious body of Fox for another three. Fox didn’t think he could ever eat another peanut again after the damages he suffered.


Exausted, the three heroes collapsed against the wall, trying to recollect their breath. With a sense of comradeship, Snake began to pass around his flask, which they all three drank heartily from.


”Y’know?” Fox said. “... We make a good team, don’t we.”


Samus added a nod to that. “Oh yeah. Let’s hope we don’t have to ever do that again.”


Snake let off a short laugh. “You said it.” He said, before standing. “... I need a cigarette. It’s been a pleasure.”


”I think I’ll join you.” Samus said.


”What? I didn’t know you were a smoker.” Fox mused, following the other two.


”I’m not. But a little fresh air after that would do me good.”


”Y’know?” Fox responded. “In that case, I think I will too.”


And so, the three headed outside for a smoke.


Or, well, at least Snake did.

Chapter Text

As the night was winding to a close, the Smash competitors began to head to their rooms. Meta Knight was among them, trudging towards the elevator. The lone swordsman entered the elevator, and waited patiently for anyone else who wished to join him on the elevator ride. Sure enough, another came wandering, stepping inside the elevator. The blue-haired swordsman thanked the knight, who simply nodded in response. Meta Knight hit the button for floor three, as that was the floor both of them stayed on.


Ike observed the other, as the elevator began to roar to life. He never did quite understand anyone from the Kirby universe... and Meta Knight was no exception. He looked like Kirby, and yet, he acted so, so much differently. He was cold. Ike let off a small, unintentional scoff, which seemed to catch the attention of the Star Warrior. "... Did you say something?"


"Hm?" Ike responded, looking towards the other. Slowly, he shook his head. "No, I didn't say anything... But I was thinking that that sword you wield is pretty tiny. I don't think it has much potential to be a deadly weapon when the hilt is almost as long as the blade itself."


Meta Knight, in return, let out a scoff of his own. "You tell me that next time I'm up in your face with it. With that bulky thing? I'll have hit you twenty-five times over before you can even lift it off the ground."


Ike let out a short laugh at that, leaning against Ragnell. "Right. But that one hit will be all I need. This blade in my possession has been blessed by the goddess Ashera, and used to vanquish Yune. The blessings on it make it completely and utterly indestructible.


Meta Knight rolled his eyes at his words. "Galaxia was created by a god of fire, and a race of light. This sword holds unspeakable power that none can even come close to comprehend. It has never left my possession in my entire life, bar one time I lent it to Kirby to vanquish the magic mirror and restore peace to Dreamland. I eat, sleep, and breath this sword, and I will not be belittled by someone who uses his sword to compensate for himself. The size of the sword doesn't matter!"


Ouch. Knowing he was beat, Ike backed down. He was already in the wrong to begin this argument. "... Perhaps we do have more in common than I had originally given you credit for. Swords forged by their respective goddesses and chosen for one specific user..." Ike mused, scratching at his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps it was fate that brought us here together, Meta Knight..."


Meta Knight let out a soft sigh. "... Perhaps. Perhaps as well we can leave all this existential musings for another time? It is rather late, and I can practically hear my bed calling my name. I need not to stay up all night pondering over something said to me in an elevator ride."

Ike chuckled, shaking his head. "Another good point from Mr. Short Sword. I suppose I can take a rain check on this one, then."


As if on que, the elevator door dinged open. The odd duo exited the elevator, heading off to their respective rooms.


"One last thing." Meta Knight spoke up, before reaching the door marked with his number.


"Oh? And what's that?" Inquired the radiant hero.


"You'd best be ready for the ass-kicking of a lifetime if we ever meet out on the battlefield."


"I'll see it when I believe it, Meta Knight. If you can get within a foot of me."


"I hope your reaction time is better than your people skills."


And with that last comment, the two headed in for the night. They needed to be prepared for tomorrow's battles.

Chapter Text

No one knew why. No one knew how. But one morning at breakfast, perhaps out of pure happenstance, all the fighters with children rounded themselves up at a table around a hot cup of coffee.


It started with Chrom trying to warm up to Bowser. Of course, the first thing he did to try and relate with the hulking behemoth was bring up his darling daughter, which was a bait Bowser couldn’t help but bite. He was more than happy to go on and on and on about his koopalings. Next to the party came PAC-man, and then Olimar. It was like a bunch of moths drawn to a flame... and then, the flame made his appearance. Ken Masters came to join them, carrying enough muffins for all of them to enjoy.


”This here’s my boy, Mel.” Ken gushed, holding up a photo of a blond haired boy, no older than three. “Wants to be just like his old man when he grows up! Let me tell ya, though, his mother and I went through Hell when she was pregnant... I mean, I didn’t even know Eliza was pregnant because she was kidnapped by Crimson Viper! Isn’t that just the best pregnancy reveal?!”


Bowser was oddly quiet after that comment, instead gnawing down on his muffin. Chrom, however, was fully invested. “Wow, for real? That sounds absolutely mad! Your wife was completely fine, though, wasn’t she? And Mel came out just fine?”


”Oh yeah, everything was fine after I laid the smack down on the baddies.” Ken replied happily. Taking a swig from his cup of coffee, he went on. “Crazy the kinda curve balls life can through at you, huh?”


”Oh, for sure!” Agreed Chrom. “Now, I don’t have any of those fancy pictures of my daughter, but I’m sure you’ve all met her. I mean, how could you miss her? She’s got a heart of gold, and a winner’s personality!”


”Uhm, I’m sorry... But I have to say I don’t know who you’re talking about.” PAC-man spoke up, munching on his fourth muffin.


”Really? You don’t know Lucina? She was in the last tournament!”


”Lucina? You mean that Lucina?” Bowser asked, shooting a thumb over his shoulder and towards Chrom’s daughter. “... You two are related?”


”Isn’t it obvious?” Chrom asked, looking around to the rest of the dads. Each face conveyed a disbelieving face. Even Olimar was shaking his head. “C’mon! She went back in time to save my life! If it weren’t for her, I’d be dead on the battlefield right now.”


”Heroic... Looks like the apple don’t fall too far from the tree, then, Chrom.” Ken said, patting his newfound friend on the back. “Though, I gotta say. Always thought she was Marth’s girl, if any one of you Fire Emblemers.”


”Hero King Marth?! No way! They look nothing—“ Chrom stopped himself midway through that sentence. “... Y’know, come to think of it, she does kind of look like Marth. I mean, when she went back to the past to save my life, she actually introduced herself as Marth.” The swordsman mused, rubbing his chin.


”I could see it.” Bowser agreed. The rest of the party also spoke about the believability of the two being of the same bloodline.


”Well, either way, she’s mine and I love her, no matter how much she may look like Marth. For the longest time, I actually thought Marth was a woman because of my meeting of Lucina.”


”You aren’t the only one.” Bowser said. “When I first started comin’ to these things, I thought there was some Japanese girl slicing me up with her sword! Little did I know that was this Marth guy you’re talking about! Oh, I was stunned... and confused.”


The rest of them let out a good laugh at that. There was a sense of comradeship amongst the five men. Suddenly, three Pikmin hopped up next to Olimar, making their squeaking noises. Happily, Olimar shared the muffin with them.


”Those aren’t the only kids you have, are they, Olimar?” Ken asked. “... because I’d hate to see their mother if you did!”


Again, the men laughed, before simultaneously taking a swig of their coffees. Olimar shook his head at the others, before pulling out his wallet. In it, there were many pictures of his family. His wife, his son, his daughter, and of course, his pet Bulbie. The others oogled at the images.


”You’ve got some cute kids, Olimar!” PAC-man said with a smile. “They must be real proud that their dad’s always out, workin’ to make their lives the best he can.”


The captain smiled, nodding his head. Not much of a talker, he was, and it’s not like they could really hear him through his thick helmet if he was.


The conversations went on, as the men enjoyed their times together. Many stories were shared, and many (crappy, corny) jokes were shared. From a distance, Lucina and the Koopalings looked on.


”... What’s dad doin’?” Bowser Jr. asked, looking upwards at the taller woman.


”Bonding.” Lucina said, a tint of disgust to her voice. 


“Dad would never do that!” Morton retorted.


”Well, you’d better believe it. Look! He’s laughing! Havin’ the time of his life!” Ludwig pointed out, much to the dismay of the others.


”What’s next? Are they gonna go grill hotdogs in the back yard or something?” Wendy asked sarcastically.


”Betcha five coins they do!” Lemmy jumped, sticking out his hand to shake.


”Deal. Dad can’t cook anything other than charred mushroom!” Wendy said, shaking hands with the other.


”Hey, I got an idea!” Ken said, gaining the attention of the other dads. “Why don’t we go bust out the ol’ grill this afternoon and give these fighters a meal they’ll never forget!”


The rest of them cheered in agreement.


The kids shuttered.


And, with a sigh, Wendy paid her adopted brother five shiny coins.

Chapter Text



”A new fighter?!” Pit asked in awe, looking around to the rest of the competitors gathered in the rec room. “Oh my gosh, I wonder who it could be! Maybe they finally found Viridi’s letter that was lost in the mail!”


”No way, buddy! I’ll bet you anything that they got my buddy Tails on that train!” Sonic retorted. “Or maybe Shadow, or Knuckles!”


”Ryu! D’you think they’ve got Chun Li on that train?” Ken asked, placing his ping-pong paddle down on the table.


”It’s quite possible, Ken. However, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” Ryu responded, following suit. “If I know one thing about Master Hand, it’s that he never chooses fighters you would expect to have here.”


”You... Have a point.” Pit responded. “I know I wasn’t exactly the most popular choice when I showed up on that Smash Train for the first time... Maybe it’s another F-Zero pilot! Wouldn’t that be awesome?!”


Captain Falcon let out a long sigh after that comment. “... Yes, it would be... Though, you probably should count that one out, too.”


”Well, whoever it is, we’ve got four minutes to get to the lobby and welcome them with open arms! I know it won’t be a problem for me, but for you slow pokes?” Sonic teased. “I’ll race ya!”


”You’re on!” The other four shouted.


Fighters slowly began to trickle into the lobby, each of them conversing with one another on who might come bursting through that door. Many ideas were thrown about, from Banjo & Kazooie to Waluigi. No one truly knew what to expect... except for the big baddie Bowser himself, who had gotten the letter for his fateful minion before he left for the tournament. 


The train eventually rolled up to the hotel, and everyone held their breath.


”It’s here! It’s here!” Pit exclaimed excitedly, hopping up and down.


The air stilled, as they waited for the front doors to open. It felt like an eternity before—


“WELCOME TO SMASH, PIRANHA PLANT!” Roared the announcer.


In waddled the potted plant, with a grin so smug and shit-eating that no one knew what to make of it.


”Uhm... Excuse me, what?” Samus spoke up, looking at the plant before her. “... No, you can’t be serious. Are you shitting me, announcer?”




Samus let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan.


”What kinda potential did he see in-a this thing?” Mario asked. “I’ve-a put millions of ‘em into the dirt with one fireball!”


Angrily, the Piranha Plant snapped at Mario. Everyone jumped back. 


“Oh yeah, and now it looks like-a it wants revenge.” Luigi added, with a shutter. “I’ve never seen-a Pirahna Plant that can move around!”


More talk went up amongst the cast, talking about how much of a waste of space the plant is. All except for one fighter.


Slowly, one villager came up to the plant, who, in return, snapped violently at the little guy. Unafraid, the red-shirted villager took out a watering can from his pocket, and watered the plant. After noticing what the boy was doing, the plant calmed its snapping down, instead happily spinning in his pot, much to the villager’s delight. From the crowd, the other eight villagers came fourth, watering cans in hand, to water the leafy newcomer. Happily, they started dancing around the potted plant.


The talking ceased, as the rest of the cast watched what was going on, with a confused air about them. It seemed no one even blinked, too transfixed by what was going on.


”... Alright, well.” Sonic finally spoke up. “I think I’ve seen enough weird plant worship for one day...”


”I think that goes for the lot of us, spiny.” Snake said with a nod. “... This has got to be the strangest thing I’ve seen in entire life... and I’ve seen some strange things.”


“I think it’s best that none of us stay any longer than we have to.” Palutena said. “Announcer? Are we excused now?”




The crowd looked back to the plant and the villagers. It was a regular party at this point.


”That looks pretty welcomed to me.” Dark Pit said, to the agreement of everyone else around him. “I’m getting out of here while I can still stomach what I’m seeing.”


With that, everyone began to take their leave, and return to what they were doing prior. Except the villagers, who continued to play with the potted death-machine for a while.


What a strange day it was indeed.

Chapter Text

The day was new, as sunlight began to beat into the windows of the Smash Hotel. A day of repairs to the battlefields was upon them, meaning a day where the Smashers could rest their tired bodies. The announcer encouraged the fighters to use this day to its fullest, and brush up in the training gym, or watch some informative how-to’s.


No one, however, had any intention on doing any of those things.


Captain Douglas Jay Falcon was in the dining area, eating a bowl of frosted “Mari-o’s”, wondering just what it was that he should do today. The weather reported that it’d be colder than Dark Pit’s heart today, so taking the Blue Falcon out for a ride was out of the question. Maybe he could one-up Corrin at ping-pong again, or swim a few laps in the heated pool. Either way, the F-Zero pilot intended on showing his skills in one way or another.


Something caught his eye, however. Out of the corner of his vision, he spotted both Ryu and Ken, happily discussing something with gym bags slung over their shoulders. Jackpot. He could outlift either of those punny newcomers. Or, that’s what his flaming ego told him, anyway.


Falcon jumped from his spot, leaving a half-eaten bowl of “Mari-o’s” for Mark to wonder over. “Heya, fellas!” Came the Captain’s confident voice. “Headed to the gym, are you? Mind if the ol’ Falcon tags along?”


Both men looked at the captain, and then to one another. “Not quite the gym, Falcon.” Ryu responded. “We’re headed to yoga class with the Wii Fit Trainers.”


Yoga?!” Captain Falcon exclaimed, as if they had claimed they’d killed his dear grandmother. “What do guys like you need yoga for?! I thought that was only for middle-aged moms and children who can’t lift a carton of milk!”


”Yoga can greatly increase your flexibility for combat.” Ryu countered. “In fact, the types of yoga the Wii Fit Trainers offer is rather intense. Not only does it increase flexability, but strength as well.”


”Psssh!! Yeah to the right!” Falcon exclaimed. “Bending over and touching your toes can’t do that much to help me Falcon Punch some sorry sucker in the face!”


”Well, if it’s so easy, why don’t you join us?” Ken offered. “... Or should we start calling you ‘Captain Chicken’?”


Damn it, they hit him right where he couldn’t counter. Right in the pride. “Alright, fine. I’ll join you sissies for one round of yoga. But let me tell you, with a body like this? It’s not gonna do anything to me!” He exclaimed.


Both of the Street Fighters looked at each other, knowing what was to become of the Falcon.


“You’re wobbling. Try to keep your balance.”


Captain Falcon let out a groan, as he tried to straighten himself out for the hundredth time. Needless to say, he had absolutely no idea what he was in for when he signed up for this class. He was absolutely drenched in sweat, as he tried to master the deceptively simple looking tree-pose.


It appeared as if he wasn’t the only one having trouble keeping up with the workout. To his right, Yoshi was having trouble keeping his stubby arms above his head, while standing on one foot. The poor dinosaur looked as though he was about to pass out at any moment.


Richter Belmont was (ironically) sweating like a sinner in Church, his chest heaving in and out. To his left was Lucina, who seemed to be getting the hang of it. Unlike Female Robin, who wasn’t even dressed for the occasion. “I... I thought you said... said this was easy yoga!” She sputtered to her friend.


”It is.” Lucina retorted simply. “After you understand what’s going on.”


”And now, we shift into the warrior position, with your arms extended and base widened. Watch the flow of my movements as I demonstrate.” The male Wii Fit Trainer instructed, his voice sounding as if this were the easiest thing in the world.


Little Mac was huffing and puffing, but under good control. He was fit, but the kind of exercises they were making him do here were working muscles he didn’t even know that he had. Doc Louis had prepared him for a lot of things, but this was not one of them.


Strangely enough, Kirby moved through the motions as if he were a wave across the water, as gracefully as a swan. Even when they were doing circuits, Kirby seemed to lead the pact. That is the fittest 4-year-old I’ve ever seen, Captain Falcon thought to himself.


”And now we will transition into a circuit, to get that blood flow up and moving again.” The female Wii Fit Trainer said, much to the dismay of the students. “Remember, the key to an effective workout is a positive attitude. Now, everyone, down on your knees...”



After a grueling hour-long session of the class, Captain Falcon was ready to throw in the towel. The Trainer’s instruction to hit the showers was like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert. Oh, he was ready to be done.


In the locker room, he was approached by an equally sweaty duo of Ken and Ryu.


”Not so difficult, now, was it?” Ryu asked.


Falcon sighed deeply. “Alright, fine. You’ve got me, fellas. That was pretty damn strainious...”


”But you’ll be coming back tomorrow, right?” Ken asked.


The Falcon gave a grin. “You bet your ass I will. One of these days I’ll be able to stretch you boys under the table!” 


The group shared a laugh at that.

Chapter Text

Timidly, as was his nature, Luigi approached Daisy's door on the fifth floor of the Smash Hotel. He'd spent a few days since Mario's talk to try and psych himself up, and after checking himself over one last time to make sure he was ready for this, he headed out. Today was the day, Luigi... He took a final deep breath, as he reached the door. The green plumber swallowed hard, nearly shivering as thoughts ran wild in his head. What if she still hates me? One asked. What if she never wants to see my lowly, despicable mustachioed face?  The thought nearly suffocated him, his breathing becoming shallow. No. Shake out of it, Luigi! Another thought shouted at him. That's just the anxiety talking. We'll be just fine. Mario said so! He knows everything! You trust your older brother, don't you?! Knock on the flippin' door already!


Swallowing again, he slowly reached a fist up to prattle the door. Rapping it three times over, there was no response at first. Maybe she's not here. Came another thought zoomed across his consciousness. Maybe that was what he was hoping for. It would make this whole situation easier on him. However, if that thought had any ground in reality, it was dashed by a voice from behind the door. "Just a minute!" Daisy called back, causing Luigi to jump. His head went into red-alert mode. She's here! She's here! Hide, you idiot! She'll come out and see you!


If he had any intentions to run away, his feet wouldn't let him. It seemed as though the smarter part of his brain had planted him firmly where he was, and wasn't letting him move. His mind was in overdrive. Oh goodness, soon enough, she was going to come to the door and--


The door came open, and in the doorway stood the princess, wearing much more casual clothing than the flowing dress that she usually wore. "Luigi?" Daisy asked, an inquisitive tone in her voice. "What do you--?"


She was cut off quickly by Luigi. "D-Daisy!" He nearly shouted, startled. He felt his knees going weak, and the world fading around him once more. Who did you expect to come to the door, idiot? King Boo?! was the last conscious thought before fainting. Falling, Luigi's unconscious body hit the floor with a sickly Crack!


Luigi was not a smooth operator.


The world was spinning when Luigi finally came to a few hours later. Groaning, evening sunlight began to trickle into his eyes. After the sunlight, the first thing Luigi noticed was the throbbing pain in his forehead. Lord almighty, did it sting! He was hardly able to open his eyes, the pain was so immense. Again, he groaned, a hand coming up to touch the massive goose-egg that had been laid on his head thanks to the wooden frame of Daisy's door. Over it was something cold... something placed on his forehead to numb the pain. It did help a little, but not nearly as much as he would've liked it to.


As he came to further, he was able to take in the surroundings. Another pang of fear flushed through him, as he noticed he was unmistakably in Daisy's room. In her bed, even. His fight-or-flight reactions flushed over him again, but even if he wanted to run, he would be unable to. The pain was too severe to go to fast. Looks like he was stuck here to face the monster in his closet.


Daisy, noticing Luigi was awakening, came to his side. "Hey, hey... Easy there, green. You took quite a nasty spill when I opened the door... Hit your head pretty hard. Might have to call Mark to take the blood off the door and put it back in your noodle!" She joked, poking his large, round nose. That caused Luigi to chuckle slightly, before another shot of pain flared in his forehead. He groaned again in pain. Right, no more jokes.


"... Daisy?" Luigi's horse voice came, catching the attention of Sarasalad's princess. "... Thank you... I-I..." He paused a moment, taking a deep breath.


Gently, Daisy placed a hand on his arm. "Hey, don't mention it. I know you'd do the same for me." She said, a genuine smile both in her face and in her words. The sincerity of her words caused the timid plumber's cheeks to flare a shade of red. "Hey, you looked like you had something important to tell me before you fainted, there... That true, stretch?" She said, with a tilt of her head.


Luigi's eyes went towards his feet, with another sigh. "I... Yes, I did... Daisy?" He said, his eyes, for the first time, daring to dip into the cool blue oceans that where her own. She tilted her head. "I... I hate not being able to talk to you. To be around you... I hate that you hate me..."

"Hate you?!" Daisy asked, alarm in her voice. "What made you think I thought that? You're probably the most wonderful person here!"


"B-but, w-when you yelled at me after our first match..." Luigi protested. "I-I was-a convinced you despised my guts! You... You called me a despicable waste of space..."


Daisy let out a soft sigh, her eyes dropping. "Yeah... about that. L, I didn't really mean any of what I said to you there. That was just my competitive nature flaring up again. I tried to find you to apologize for that, but you seemed to just vanish off the face of the Earth! I even tried to reach out to you on that Smash Chat private message thing, but no go there, either."


"Y-Yeah... I... I was pretty torn up over that." Luigi said, his hand gently encapsulating hers. "I just... I thought that if-a you hated me, what's even the point, y'know?"


"Really? I mean that much to you?" Daisy asked, tilting her head to the side.


Timidly, Luigi nodded. "Yeah... Yeah. Daisy, you... you mean the world to me." He told her, his fingers circling hers. It was a move she didn't reject.


Daisy smiled once more. "You're such a sweetheart, you big old sap. I hope you know that."


"I-I meant every word of it!" Luigi said, sitting up quickly, the pain rushing to his head again. With a low groan, he held his upright condition. "I-I love you, Daisy!" He exclaimed, speaking before thinking. Instantly, his cheeks shot a hot pink, as he cowered back down. He murmured numerous apologies, before Daisy squeezed his hand.


"Luigi? What are you apologizing for?" She asked, her own boisterous voice taking a quieter tone. "Did... Did you not mean it?"


Luigi's eyes came up from under the covers. Once more, he inhaled deeply. "N-No... I-I meant it... I-I just--"


Luigi's stammering was cut short by a quick, gentle kiss on the lips. For a moment, time stopped, as Luigi was able to process what was happening. He melted like putty, his entire body going numb, as he slumped down on the bed once more.


"Then you've got nothing to apologize for, you green weenie." 



A Private Session Has Been Enacted Between: Luigi & Mario




Mario: What? What is it? Luigi, it's midnight... shouldn't you be asleep?




Mario: What in the Mushroom Kingdom are you talking about?




Mario: Wait wait wait, for real?! Luigi, I don't think I've ever seen you this excited before!


Mario: That's it young man. I'm bringing in that orange soda you like so much and we are going to celebrate!



Chapter Text

Late in the afternoon, Ridley sat modifying his tech. Or, well, his Smash Communicator. The thing was bugged out to hell and back, and the raunchy space pirate didn’t want anyone to know his location. Not even the announcer and showrunner of this whole thing. Ridley was a being of mystery... and he didn’t want to be just some mouse in this little game he was in.


As the purple dragon sat screwing with his tablet, a piece fell off and rolled away. It tumbled across the floor, rolling ever so slightly out of reach. The cunning god of death let out a huff at the little annoyance, moving to his feet to get up and grab it. Damn Holoprotractor... he’d need that thing if he intended on sending messages to other dimensions. Who knows? The mood may strike him some day.


As the part rolled, it bumped into the plump little tummy of a certain yellow mouse, who was on his way to the cafeteria to get himself some Pokémon treats. The baby Pokémon had a sweet tooth! However, when the circular ball bumped into him, he stopped in his tracks. “Pichu?” Pichu asked, sniffing at the piece of Ridley’s holocomunicator before him. It looked like a fun little toy! Excitedly, the yellow mouse began flicking the ball around, happily chasing after it.


Ridley watched this go down for a moment or two, before a low growl escaped the beast. Yes, he was capable of speech... but he didn’t believe this little critter was worth any of his precious words. Louder than before, Ridley growled at the mouse before him, which, this time, caught the attention of the mouse at play.


Pichu’s eyes darted towards the big creature before him... but he wasn’t stricken with fear. Instead, Pichu saw the ruthless killer as a new friend! “Pi! Pi!!” Pichu called back, before batting the piece back to its owner.


Ridley watched the part roll, picking it up with his scaly fingers. Ridley let out a shriek at the mouse, who, again, was unflinching. Slowly, Ridley approached, picking up the baby in one scaly claw. Oh, how easily he could snuff this poor creature’s life out. However, as if not knowing he was in imminent danger, Pichu giggled happily.


The space pirate blew a hot breath at the other, who enjoyed the heat on such a cold winter day. 


With a deep sigh, the pirate placed the rat down, and returned to his work.


An hour had past. Or maybe it was two. No one seemed to be really keeping track. Samus was headed towards the cafeteria, the same way that Pichu had been. She’d run out of alcohol, and needed a quick refill. If they didn’t have any there, she’d have to go off to Smashville, and didn’t wish to do that.


As she walked, she came across Ridley, still tinkering with device, with a little yellow mouse curled up on his lap. Blinking twice, Samus didn’t know what to make of the situation.


Sensing that someone had come, Ridley’s eyes rose, only to meet those of his worst enemy’s. Again, Ridley deeply growled, before pointing to his eyes, and then at her.


”... I’m not drunk enough for this shit yet, Ridley.” Samus said simply, before walking away.


”If you touch Pichu, I will reunite you with your parents.” Ridley responded.


”Pichu! Piii!”


With that, Samus kept walking. She truly wasn’t drunk enough for this shit yet.

Chapter Text

The midday had struck the Smash Hotel once more, and everyone was relieved from their fights for an hour or so for lunch. Everywhere he looked, King Dedede saw people who seemed to be having a good time, connecting with their friends and loved ones. Young Link was laughing right along side the warble of inklings. Richter was blending right in with the Fire Emblem squad. Hell, even Pichu was nestled up beside the halking behemoth that was the space pirate Ridely. Internally, King Dedede scoffed. Why did Pichu of all creatures get a spot at the villain's table, and not the king of Dreamland? Really, it was nothing more than an insult to the penguin. Fine, whatever. He didn't need them, anyway. He had his own table of compadres to ham it up with. However, as he approached, something was wrong. Presently, only two people sat at his table. Kirby, who followed the king wherever he went, and that PSI boy, Ness, whom he had made acquaintance with long ago in Brawl, and still had a good relationship with. Someone was missing.


"... Where's Luigi?" King Dedede asked the two of them. Both turned their heads to look at the king as he sat down, only for Ness to throw a soft shrug. Dedede could've sworn he'd seen Luigi today somewhere else besides the battlefield. Turning his head, he scouted out the area, not finding hind nor tail of their lanky friend.


Until Kirby pointed to him. It appeared Luigi had decided to sit somewhere else today. He and that one brown-haired princess that King Dedede never got a name for where off in some corner, living it up. The sight broke Dedede's heart.


"Aww, no! I can't have him leavin' me too!" Dedede wailed out, before slamming his head against the table in anguish. This startled both of the others, who quickly rushed to the side of the great king. "First they kick me outta the villain's club for not bein' bad enough, and now I'm losin' another friend! When does it get any better?!"


Kirby and Ness both shot each other a concerned look. The despair in Dedede's voice was more than genuine, and it rattled their bones. Poor, poor Dedede... Neither could think of anything to say to try and cheer him up, instead allowing him to weep his heart out.


After a moment or so, he found his composure once more, wiping away at his eyes. He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head lightly to rejuvenate himself. "I... I'm sorry, fellas... The last couple 'ah weeks've been pretty rough on ol' Dedede here... I jus'... I donno. This is stupid, and I'm stupid for even thinkin' I'm villainous enough to still be in that there club." 


Ness patted the King's back, while Kirby hugged him from the front. In that moment, King Dedede came to realize he didn't need the villain's club. He knew his real friends where right here.


A moment or so later, Luigi came towards the table, with Daisy close in tow. "Everything okay, Dedede?... I heard someone crying over here..."


King Dedede raised his eyes, and made contact with the green plumber. "Luigi?... I... I thought yous left us here! Abandoned us like a sack o' wet noodles!"


Luigi shook his head. "Oh no... You've-a got me all wrong! I was just tellin' Daisy here how much she would love you guys!" He explained. "I... ah, sorry I'm a little late..."


King Dedede blinked twice, before realizing what that meant. A new friend! Happily, he sprang up, and wrapped the princess in a bear hug. "Well! Welcome to the table 'ah Dreams, miss!"


Daisy let off a somewhat startled wheeze as her ribs were crushed by the happy penguin, but in turn hugged him right back, "Hi, I'm Daisy!"


What felt like a world away, Palutena was on the other end of the lunchroom with her nose buried in a book. The library here had some fantastic finds, and this one on the history of the Smash Tournament was no exception. Even a goddess could learn a thing or two.


Out of the corner of her eye, however, she saw a strange happening. Pit, the leader of her army, was cowering behind a decritive potted plant. Immediately, Palutena was suspicious of this. Graciously, she closed her book, and excused herself from the table to go and see what was the matter. "... Pit?"


Pit let out a startled scream, throwing his hands above his face. "Please don't tear out my soul and drag me down to the underworld, Bayonetta! I-I'm a good angel! I'm too good to be ripped to shreds by demons! Chicken is way more economical!" He shouted, cowering deeper into his corner. Oh my, this again.


Lowering herself to Pit's level, Palutena spoke again. "Pit, it's me. There's no need to be afraid, okay?" She said, her tone of voice motherly in a sense. Timidly, as if not trusting her word, Pit's eyes slowly rose to meet hers. At the sight of those emerald green spheres, Pit let out a deep sigh of relief.


"T-Thank goodness it's just you, Lady Palutena... That umber witch is out to get me, I just know it! Every time she sees me she gets this hungry look in her eyes, as if she's gonna pluck me apart, feather by feather!" Pit shuddered. Obviously, he was absolutely terrified of the woman in black.


Palutena let out a sound of understanding. "Your fears are valid given her reputation, Pit... However, I don't think you have to worry about her. Bayonetta is much more down-to-earth than she may first appear to be given her flashy personality. In fact, I was having a conversation with her earlier this lunch period and neither your name or Pittoo's name came up."

"Thank the goddamn stars." Came a voice from the air shaft above them. Both the goddess and the angel looked up to find Dark Pit. He, too, was hiding... Albeit in a much better spot than the other. Gently, he glided downward. "I don't want to be in the same room as the psycho bitch for more than ten minutes at a time."


Before either of them could say anything, Pittoo was out of there. They watched him leave. In his step, however, he was much more skiddish than usual.


"... Anyway, as I was saying, you have nothing to be afraid of, Pit. You never seemed to have this problem before... Did my guidance conversation with Viridi earlier today freak you out?"


Timidly, Pit nodded again. Ashamed, he looked down towards his saddles.


"Hey now, don't you go all bashful on me, Pit." Palutena instructed. As if to apologize, she gave Pit a warm embrace. "I'm sorry for scaring you. However, this fear won't go away from just hiding behind a Peace Lily. You need to go out and try and talk to her."


"N-No way!" Pit said in return. However, all he got back from his goddess was a stern look. Screaming internally, Pit conceded. "... Okay, alright. I'll try and talk to her. Later." He insisted.


"Fine by me, but please, make it soon. You don't want to make a fool of yourself anymore, do you?" She asked.


Pit shook his head 'no'



"Blasted thing..." Simon cursed at his Smash Communicator. "How in the world do you get this thing to work?!"


Simon Belmont had done many things in his life. He'd slain Dracula not once, but twice, and on top of that done a fair share of adventuring. One thing he didn't have experience with, however, was the more technological side of things. Simon was not a tech-savvy person, and it showed in his inability to access the Smash Chat, or do anything else useful with this hunk of tablet he'd been given.


"What's wrong, old man?" Came Richter's cheeky voice, moving to sit by his ancestor. "Having trouble learning how to use the Smash Chat?"


Simon's eyes rose, with a hint of a glare to them. "Now, is that any way to speak to your ancestor? I'll have you know, if I never marry you will never be born." The vampire killer threatened, only half-jokingly. "If you must know, I've been working on this thing for the past hour, trying to understand it... but I can't!"


"'Can't' isn't a word the legendary Simon Belmont uses all to often. This one must be serious, then, huh?" Richter asked, tilting his head to the side. "Maybe the student can teach the master something... Here, let me see it."


With that, Richter began explaining the in's and out's of the fantastic device held in Simon's hands, much to the elder's amazement. "Richter, when did you become so well versed with this?"


Richter simply shrugged. "I've made some friends around here who've shown me the ropes. I think the least I can do is help you out a little, right?"


Simon gave a smile. "Well, we Belmonts do need to stick together, after all. Thank you. Here, help me make a positive first-impression on the group using this... 'Smash Chat'."


Simon: Greetings, fellow Smash competitors! It is wonderful to have met all of you, and I wish for nothing more than the best for each and every one of you. I do hope we can come away from this Tournament with a sense of comradeship and pride knowing as we have pushed ourselves to the limits over the months we have been here. I am Simon of the Belmont clan, slayer of Dracula and banisher  of all evil. If you wish to know more about me, we can meet outside of combat and speak a while, perhaps over a hot cup of chocolate, or something to that degree.


Dark Pit: That was long winded


Wolf: I see grandpa here's finally learned how to use the Smash Chat. Took him long enough.


Richter: Hey! You leave him be! He's my grandpa!


Ganondorf: Vanquisher of all evil, mm? I don't believe we can get along.


Snake: Well, look what the cat dragged in.


Simon: Ah! Solid Snake! I did not realize you would be competing in this tournament too! What a splendid surprise. I suppose they did say that it took all types in the letter, did it not?


Piranha Plant: fswwa waef waef


Bowser: Smooth


Bowser Jr.: I think plant just ate his communicator, dad.




Falco: Thanks for that. I was real concerned about the condition of the plant's iPad.


Kirby: What's an ipade?  (●´ω`●)


Falco: You'll learn when you're older, kid.


Samus: Welcome to Smash, Belmont.


Simon: Thank you!


Richter: Thank you!


Pit: I've said it before, but I'll say it again. It is so cool to have you guys here!


Bayonetta: Darlings, if you could steer clear of me with that Holy Water, that'd be wonderful. Does dreadful things to my hair and body.


Pit has left the chat


Dark Pit has left the chat


Bayonetta: Hm. Wonder what that was about.


Simon: I did not realize when I agreed to participate that there would be so many demons and evil beings about. Odd how they forgot to mention it.


Bayonetta: Baby, I'm just as wicked as the stories say I am. ;)


Richter: ... I didn't like that wink...


Simon: What does ";)" mean?


Falco: You'll learn when your older, Belmont.


Simon: I am deeply confused.


Falco: Yeah, we all where when bayo first walked in.


Fox: Falco! That's enough! There're kids in this chat!


Falco: What? We were all thinking it. I was just the only one brave enough to say anything.


Bayonetta: Oh, you all just flatter me. ;)


Richter: If you go anywhere near Simon, I will personally pour Holy Water in your drink



Chapter Text

“Alright, so. Let me get this straight.” Sonic began, addressing the Hylians before him. “There’s three Links?”


Zelda nodded. “Yes, there are. All three are different persons, with different backstories. Young Link is the Hero of Time, who travels through time to defeat Ganondorf, the same who is at this tournament. Toon Link is the Hero of Winds, who rode across the Great Sea on the King of Red Lions to stop a different Ganondorf. And finally, Link is the Hero of the Wild, who almost lost his life to the Calamity 100 years before his revival, and lost his memories as to why he was even fighting to begin with. A truly heroic deed, wouldn’t you say? Continuing to fight for a people he doesn’t remember anything about?”


”Wait, wait, wait.” Captain Falcon interrupted. “Since when are there three Links?! I thought there were only two. The weird bug-eyed one and the green one.”


”Falcon, you’ve been here for all the tournaments. How did you not know there are three Links?” She asked.


”I thought that bug-eyed one was the same one from the Melee tournement.” Falcon responded, rubbing his chin. “... Thought he had some kinda weird allergic reaction we were all too nice to bring up...”


Toon Link gave an expressive look of disapproval.


Zelda, too, gave a similar look. “... No, Falcon. They are three separate heroes from different timelines.”


Falcon shrugged. Then, Falco stepped up to the plate. “And they all hold a piece of the Triforce, too, right? The uh... What was it called again? The bravery piece, right?”


”Close.” Zelda hummed. “The Links all carry the Triforce of Courage within them.”


”... But how is that possible?” Snake asked, intrigued as all the others. “Isn’t the Triforce a mystical magical thing? How can three of the same piece be held by different people in the same place? It doesn’t make any sense to me...”


Zelda shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. It’s a weird multiverse we live in.”


”I’ll drink to that one.” Snake mumbled in agreement.


”I have a question.” Ike chimed in. Zelda’s head turned towards the swordsman. “You and that one—“ Ike pointed at Shiek, who gave a nod. “—are the same person, right? How does that make any sense?”


”Mm, yes and no.” Zelda responded. “It is true that Shiek here is a Princess Zelda, but not this one. Shiek comes from the same era as Young Link, But is wearing armor more similar to Link’s era. If I’m completely honest, I’m not quite sure where Master Hand picked this Shiek up...”


”I’d like it to remain a mystery.” Shiek chimed in.


This simply garnered more questions than answers.


”Okay, so.” Shulk began. “There’s multiple Links and multiple Zeldas, but there’s only one Ganondorf? Or, ah, Ganon? An’ you mentioned somethin’ about him taking many forms?”


”Correct! You’re learning!” Zelda beamed enthusiastically. “It’s said that every 100 years, a man is born to the Gerudo. This man is Ganondorf. Sometimes, however, he takes a more pig-like form, or a beast. Or, in Link’s case, a collosial, towers-high nightmare creature.”


”But how can a different man born to the same tribe be the same person?” Snake asked. “Is this some kind of reincarnation crap?”


”Yes, exactly.” Zelda hummed. “Sometimes, he’s not even born. He just shows up, and says ‘haha, heya, Hyrule! Hope you weren’t having any prosperity, because I’m here to wreck every thing again!’”


”That’s offensive.” Ganondorf grumbled, walking past the oogling crowd. “I sound nothing like that.”


”I thought it was pretty spot-on.” Sonic retorted with a shrug, to everyone’s agreement.


”How many Links are there?” Ike asked. “We’ve met three... Six if you want to count all those Dark Links... but the Link from your world is different from these three, right?” Ike asked, gesturing at the posse of Links. They all remained mute.


”Right. My Link is different from all these three.” She said. “However, I don’t know the exact number off the top of my head. With all three separate timelines, it gets a little blurry, yknow?”


”Right, right.” Captain Falcon nodded, not understanding a single thing. “Do the Links ever talk? I don’t think I’ve heard them say a single word at any of these tournaments.”


The Hero of the Wild looked at Falcon, and then at Zelda, before retiring back to his seat. 


“Yes, the Links can talk.” She explained. “However, they each carry a heavy burden on their backs. Unless absolutely necessary, they remain mute, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Isn’t that just the most heroic thing ever?! They don’t boast, or complain... they just do their duty, and fulfill their destinies...” She sighed a happy sigh. The Links filled her with happiness and hope for humanity, so you can bet your bottom dollar she’d spend hours talking about them.


Happy with the answer Zelda had given, Link returned to spectating the game of checkers going on between Young and Toon Link.


”You seem to have an impressive understanding of your timelines.” Snake complemented. “But, if you only come from one secluded section of that timeline, how do you know so much about events that happen so far in the future?”


Zelda held up her hand, revealing the Triforce of Wisdom. “I’ve got the power of wisdom on my side. So does Shiek, actually.”


Shiek raised a hand, revealing the same glowing triangle.


”Wow, that’s pretty interesting, actually.” Shulk mused. “But... what would happen if you put them together.


Zelda and Shiek both looked at each other, before Shiek spoke up. “A black hole, most likely. Or a tear in the space-time continum.”


”Whoa, whoa! Hold it! Should you two even be standing that close together?!” Sonic asked, alarmed.


Zelda gave a nonchalant shrug. “Probably not.”


The three Links nodded in agreement.


The group gave a collective nervous laugh.


”Well, yknow, this has been interesting and all...” Sonic began, backing away slowly. “But, would ya look at that! I’m late to the ping-pong tournament! I’ll have to catch you guys on the flip side!” With that, Sonic dashes away.


The rest of the group also made up excuses that would get them away from the potentially harmful situation.


Soon enough, the only ones left were the Links and the Zeldas.


Almost at once, all five of them started laughing. “We got ‘em good!” Zelda laughed out. “A black hole?! Really?! They thought the Triforce of Wisdom would do something that stupid?!”


Shiek was absolutely grinning behind the scarves. “Oh my... Now they’ll fear us for sure!”


A few more moments passed by with laughs all around, before finally, the quintuplet found their collective breath.


”Oh goodness, I needed that.” Zelda mused, before moving to sit besides the Hero of the Wild.


”Who’d like to start a checkers tournement?”

Chapter Text

A snapping finger caught the attention of the stealth operator, flinging him back into reality. “Whatcha oogling at over there, commando?” The taunting voice of Samus said. “You’re missing the entire movie! Fox said this was one of the bests from his universe, and I’m inclined to believe him.”


”I... Uh...” Snake mumbled, a little dazed in all reality. “I guess I’m just not a big fan of movies, that’s all. Too loud. Too obnoxious.” He lied, trying to cover his tracks.


”Nice try.” Samus mused, before following his gaze. Through the clear window of the rec room, a little dog was clearly visible. Standing on her hind legs, Isabelle was cheerfully chatting with one of the Villagers, both of which seemed to be having a good conversation. Samus rose her eyebrows. “Ohhh... I see how it is...”


”S-See what?!” Snake exclaimed, gathering the attention of those around him. Quickly, he hushed his voice. “I just... Ive always really liked dogs, okay? And that one is... It’s just...”


”Cute?” Samus asked, the same taunting tone to her voice. Slowly, a shit-eating grin began to cross the bounty hunter’s face. “C’mon. I’ll introduce you.”


”No! Absolutely not.” Snake protested, but it was too late. Samus had already ripped him out of his beanbag chair and tossed him up onto his feet. Only half-upset, Snake grumbled to himself. This whole thing was stupid.


Samus pushed open the door, letting sunlight momentarily flash into the rec room. Of course there were jeers of disapproval, but Samus didn’t care in the slightest. “Isabelle?” She asked the other, the little dog’s eyes raising up to the two taller humans. “Do you have a moment to spare?”


”Yep!” Isabelle beamed. “The Villager and I were just finishing up catching up! How can I be of assistance to you both?” She asked, tilting her head to the side, and placing a paw on her chin.


Samus shot a sideways look at Snake, who was already absolutely enraptured by the sight before him. “Oh, it’s nothing much. I just wanted to introduce you to my friend Snake here.” She said, gesturing to the cover ops.


As if by instinct, Snake’s hand shot out for a handshake. “Hey.”


With a smile gracing her cheeks, Isabelle returned the shake. Her smile was like a glowing sunshine. Snake could swear the iron heart of his had come into contact with a burning kiln. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Snake! I’m Isabelle, and I’m from Animal Crossing!”


”OhmyGodyouarejustthemostadorablething.” Snake got out. He could’ve sworn he was about to melt right here, much to Samus’s amusement. The stoic Snake, on the verge of tears because of this cute little dog.


”Excuse me? I didn’t quite catch that. My ears must be too fluffy and muffly!” She replied.


Snake coughed into his hand. “Nothing. Nothing. You must be hearing things. What I wanted to say is that it’s a pleasure to meet you, and it’d be a great honor to get to know more about you.”


Isabelle, again, replied happily. “Okay! About me, about me... Well, you see, I’m the mayor’s faithful assistant, doing all the work of a secretary for the township I live in! I’m nearsighted, love Valentine’s Day, and have quite a few PhDs!” She beamed.


Snake nodded along with her, completely captured by her.



Fox: Where’s Snake at? He missed the whole movie! The Blue Lagoon is the best movie out there!


Samus: Making new friends.


Fox: It’s been like three hours!


Falco: You watched the Blue Lagoon without me?! I’m hurt, McCloud.


Fox: Dont start with me. I invited everyone.


Falco: I didn’t get the message!


Snake: If anyone so much as touches one of the hairs on Isabelle’s head, they’re dead.


Isabelle: You’re too kind, Mr. Snake! I’ve only known you for a few hours!


Snake: The offer still stands.


Wario: ... noted


Villager (Red): :)


Samus: Glad to see you’re softening up, tough guy.


Snake: Can it, Aron.


Duck Hunt: [Paw print]


Snake: There’s more than one dog in this thing?


Wolf: Yes, Snake. Very observant of you.


Snake: Times have changed. Not that I’m complaining.


Snake: I’m off to give this good boy a treat. 


Snake has has left the chat.


Chapter Text

The Piranha Plant found itself snoozing lazily in the warm sun of the lobby, enjoying the delicious meal it’s cells were photosynthesizing for it. While it did have quite the affinity for blood and flesh, a plant could appreciate the simpler souces of food to be found around the Smash Hotel. One day, at the request of his leader Bowser, the plant had even tried eating some regular food, to try and stop it from eating the little mice and creatures that scurried about.


However, it sensed a disturbance in the forces of nature aproaching it. The ground seemed to be shaking more than usual, which heightened its instinctual fight-or-flight mechanic. Almost instantly, the dozing plant sprang to life, snapping at whatever it was that was coming it’s way.


However, what it was met by was somewhat mesmerizing. Right before it’s receptors was... another plant? A different kind of plant, but a plant none the less. And then, another. And another. Three tiny leafed creatures stared up at the Piranha Plant with wide eyes.


The red Pikmin squeaked to the yellow one, who held in its tiny arms a peace offering. A delectable strawberry! Nice and ripe and red! The sight caught the bigger plant off guard. Usually when things came up to it when it was sleeping, they were trying to kill it! Not offer it food! Graciously, the plant gobbled it up, burping happily in response. It supposed it could let these little creatures live, so long as they didn’t try anything shifty.


Seeing the other plant’s response, the Pikmin hopped around happily, squeaking in their Pikmin language. Little did they know they wouldn’t be the only ones attending the plant party.


Slowly but surely, two more wandering plants came to see what the hubbub was about. Released by their trainers to explore the Hotel for the afternoon, both Red and Leaf’s Ivysaurs wandered down the halls, before noticing their photosynthetic pals.


”Ivy?” Red’s asked, tilting his head off and to the side. This caught the attention of the others, who’s head apparatus’s turned to view the two newcomers. Detecting them as fellow plant life, both Pikmin and Pirhana Plant alike let out sounds of glee, inventing them to the party.




”Ivysaur? Buddy, where are you?” Red called around the Hotel, with Leaf close at his side. “Honestly, we let them wander for one day, and we lose them...”


”Well, Red, it is a pretty big hotel... I just hope they didn’t get into any trouble...” Leaf mumbled, worried. “I know my Ivysaur can be a pretty big trickster when she wants to be...”


Walking at a brisk pace, the two Pokémon trainers nearly ran over Olinar and Alph, who where... taking notes?


”Huh? What’s going—“ Red started, but was quickly silenced by Alph turning and waving his arms. Shaking his head in a ‘no’ motion, and placing a finger over where his lips would be, Red quickly got the message. They needed to be quiet. Leaf, however, looked like she was about to melt where she stood. “What’s the matter, Leaf?”


”Ohmygosh, that’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” She whisper-yelled at Red, pointing ahead. Peaking around the corner, the boy could see exactly what it was she was talking about.


Curled up in a ball, both Ivysaurs snoozed lazily at the base of the Pirhana pot, with Pikmin of all colors surrounding them. They must’ve gotten into some fruit somewhere, because each and every one of them had juices around their lips. Softly, Leaf’s Ivysaur snored our it’s name.


Oh, now Red could see what the fuss was about.


”Well...” Red started, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m glad Ivy’s found some friends!”


”I say we give ‘em another hour, and then come back.” Leaf suggested, taking a snapshot of this moment on her Smash Communicator. Happily, she showed it to Red. “That one’s going in the scrapbook.”


“Since when are you making a scrapbook?” Red asked. “And why haven’t you consulted me?”


Olimar and Alph exchanged a glance with each other, and then a smile.


Looks like there was a new gang up and running, and it was all spearheaded by that omnivorous oddball.


Pirhana Plant let out a lazy snore.

Chapter Text

Down the road and seven leagues away from the luxurious Smash Hotel, there was a run-down, dinky little motel. In this motel lived the Smashers who were considered, but ultimately got the participation award without the whole participation thing.


”I shoulda been in...” Waluigi wahed, downing another beer. “You fellas shoulda seen how many-a those votes in the ballet were for me! Wah-y me? Wahhh...”


Shadow scoffed, his arms crossed at the pathetic Italian. The ultimate life form had no reason to be sitting at this crappy motel. Why did he even agree to do this for a third time? He’d seen so many others be gifted that coveted letter that used to live here. Isabelle, Little Mac... Hell, even Dark Samus was over there now. “We’ve heard this whole spheel a thousand times, Waluigi. Can you cut it the hell out already?”


”Whoa, fellas! Can’t we just appreciate that we’re here to begin with?” Knuckles said, trying to keep the peace. “We’ll get our chance another day! We just gotta be patient! It’s not even like living here for a few months or years is even that bad.” Knuckles mused, leaning against a coffee table. The table, in turn, fell apart, leaving Knuckles to plummet face-first into the ground. 


“Smooth.” Shadow grumbled, taking an alcoholic beverage for himself. “I don’t know about you, Knuckles, but I’d much prefer to be an active fighter, rather than only momentarily making appearances here and there. It’s not like I even get to do anything fun, either, like knocking heads together. All they let me do is stop time for a second or so to keep the fight interesting.”


”Rough.” Waluigi added, slinking deeper into his (rather uncomfortable) armchair. “Just count yourself lucky! You can’t even be-a KO’d! Getting hit really hurts!” He complained. “And it’s not like they provide us Assist Trophies with any medical supplies...”


”Just don’t get hit.” Alucard replied, a touch agressive towards the man in purple. He’d quickly grown tired of the whining everyone else did around here.


”That's easier said than done, Al.” Knuckles said. “Maybe for you it’s easy, but for us m—“


Suddenly, Knuckles popped out of existence. With a sigh, all the other trophies knew exactly what had happened to him. Summoned again.


”... As I was saying.” Alucard continued. “Work on your maneuvers. They allow you one air dodge while airborne. Use it to your advantage instead of running in like a maniac.”


”Waht’s the point?” Waluigi asked. “I’m not even scary enough to have the other fighters flinch! They-a run at me and-a wahck me across the face! An air dodge does me no good!”


”Cut the excuses, stretch.” Krystal said from her spot in the lobby. She was touching up her pole, feeling for weaknesses in the construction. “We all should’ve been invited. Just count yourself lucky enough to be considered for assistance again.”


Waluigi sighed deeply, as Knuckles popped back into existance. He looked a little worn for the wear, but overall alright. As he spawned back in, a chair close by shattered.


”Did they make everything in here out of toothpicks?!” Shadow growled, astonished the whole motel hadn’t come down on top of them at this point. “Couldn’t have they splurged for something more expensive?! Cardboard, maybe?! I don’t think I ask for much!”


This for a soft chuckle from a few others gathered around him, Alucard included. As they soaked in the joke, Tiki walked past them.


”Who’s the new gal?” Waluigi asked, watching as she walked past.


”Tiki.” Alucard responded, pouring himself a glass of (expired) milk he had retrieved from a nearby mini fridge. “She’s from Fire Emblem. One of the only swords fighters, it seemed, they didn’t invite to the actual party. It seems everyone else from her universe is in that Hotel right now. Except for Lyn, who chooses not to be apart of the affair. It’s a choice I respect her for.”


“It’s-a bullshit!” Waluigi suddenly huffed out. “All of-a my friends are there! And-a Princess Daisy! This coulda been my Smash! And-a now that no-good Luigi has her all to himself! It’s a good thing that green weenie has no moves like me, or else he’d’ve told her by now!”


”Who is this... Daisy?” Alucard asked, drinking down his glass of milk.


”Bah, what does it matter? I’ll-a have to wait another ten years before I get another chance to get in there, anyway.” Waluigi grumbled.


Suddenly, he popped out of existance. Summoned.


Shadow let out a satisfied groan. “Thank the chaos emeralds. He was starting to get on my nerves.”


Everyone around him agreed. It’s too bad Waluigi seemed to be a permanent member of the Smash Motel.


Isaac walked into the room, followed by Sukupon. “Hey, guys! What’re we talking about?”


”The usual.” Knuckles replied, carefully placing himself down on a chair as to not shatter it. It shattered anyway.


Isaac shot his arms up, before walking away. He didn’t even want to get started.

Chapter Text

Snake: What smells like it rolled over and died?


Snake: Oh God please no.


Dark Pit: ****


Pit: No, no, no!! I thought you killed him, Villager!!


Villager (Red): Nope, sorry. :)


Meta Knight: Traitorous little squashling.


Ike: I think I smell a gas leak.


Pokémon Trainer Red: Well... You’re half right...


Dr. Mario: Ah! I see you’ve already noticed! Wario’s out of the clinic, and back in the hotel!


Snake: You should’ve pulled the plug, doc. For us.


Dr. Mario: You don’t know suffering until you’ve had him in your clinic for weeks at a time. I had to suffer. It’s your turn.


Roy: Oh lord, I’m on the opposite end and I’m suffocating. I can’t believe what you guys are going through...


Pit: Does Wario even bathe?


Wario: Once every ten days. Waht? Can’t a fella live his life?


Dark Pit: Oh yeah, that’s right. He’s in this group chat. He was dead for so long I forgot he existed.


Dark Pit: Simpler times, really.


Wolf: Sucks to suck.


Snake: Shut it, mutt.


Falco: For once, me and the flea bag agree on something.


Pit: My eyes are watering.


Pit: Lady Palutena?! Can we please please please switch rooms?! I’ll never ask for anything ever again!!!!


Palutena: There aren’t enough tributes in the world for me to take you up on that offer.


Pit: I’m going to cry.



“This is unbearable.” Pit choked out from the safe room. Roy’s room has been converted into a holding space for all the third-floor residents for the moment, as it was the farthest from Wario’s stink as possible, besides Mewtwo’s room. Mewtwo, however, didn’t take kindly to visitors. “We have to do something. Anything!”


I’ve never once experienced something so foul in my life.” Chrom added in a nasily voice. He had his nose plugged tightly in an attempt to stop the foul odor, to no avail. 


“I believe I’m about to be sick.” Meta Knight spoke. “How did we deal with him back in the Brawl days?!”


”We doused the entire hallway in bleach and smell-proofed our rooms.” Snake answered, matter-of-factly. “Probably not our safest idea, but it got the job done.”


Across the way, an explosion is heard from Wario’s room. Slowly, a visible scent started to seep from the door, casting the hallway in an eerie mist.


Mr. Game & Watch beeped his disapproval.


”You said it, little buddy.” Pit agreed.


”Well, what do we do about this?” Roy asked. “Because as much as I love and cherish you guys, I’d rather not have you all bunking in my room at the same time.”


In the hallway, a hotel employee fainted. Looks like they had to learn the hard way.


People murmured amongst themselves, trying to think of something.



Roy: Well. Looks like I’ve got me 10 new roommates.


Luigi: Is it really that bad?


Roy: You’re the one who races go-karts with him. You tell me.


Luigi: I am so, so sorry.


Luigi: Maybe Daisy could help you guys! She does know her way around fragrances.


Daisy: It’s true! I’m the only one who can get Wario to smell even halfway decent at our parties!


Isabelle: I have some fruit and air fresheners I could bring to freshen it up up there!


Snake: I don’t want you anywhere near this toxic gas. I’ve been through tear gas, and whatever's leaking out of that man’s *** is ten times worse.


Dark Put: Pit’s crying.


Pit: Am not!!!! My tear ducts are watering!!!


Dark Pit: That’s called crying, Pitstain.


Daisy: Isabelle and I are sending some stuff down to you guys from the elevator. That means one of you are going to have to go and get it. It should help!


Ike: Snake


Dark Pit: Snake


Meta Knight: Snake


Roy: Snake should!


Snake: I vote Game & Watch


Mr. Game & Watch: **** no.


Mr. Game & Watch: Snake


Pokémon Trainer Leaf: Sorry, Snake... I think the chat speaks for itself.


Snake: ...


Snake: I ******* hate you guys.


Pit: But we appreciate you!


Isabelle: It should be there by now, Mr. Snake!


Snake: I’m going in... if I don’t come back in ten minutes send a serch party.


Dark Pit: I’ll start planning the funeral.



“This isn’t so bad!” Pit exclaimed from his sleeping bag, covered entirely to his chin. All the way around the room hung different arrangements of flowers, fragrances, and stench-cancelers. For most places, it would’ve been complete overkill. For here, however, it only hardly rid the smell. “I mean, think of it this way! What else would we be doing at this time of night? Sleeping? By ourselves? That’s boring!”


”At least I would be sleeping.” Dark Pit groaned. “You’ve been talking non-stop for the past three hours.”


”Quiet, to the both of you.” Meta Knight hissed, hanging like a bat from the window. “Can’t you see I’m trying to get my rest?”


”Sorry...” Both Pits responded at the same time.


“... Hey, Pittoo?... Do you think pigeons have dreams?”


This was going to be a long night.


Chapter Text

“It still blows my mind that there’s another me in here.” Male Corrin thought aloud to Female Robin, watching as their counterparts shot pool together in the rec room. “I mean, how did you do it? You two were in that unnamed fourth tournament together, and you guys get along just as fine as anyone else. I mean, I love Female Corrin as if she’s a part of myself, but I still get a little... weirded out by it, yknow?”


”I understand that.” Female Robin hummed, clipping casually through a novel she’d found in the library. It was even in her native tongue. Go figure. “I was that same way when I came to realize there were two of me, too. The trick is to treat them like that annoying twin you never had back home, and you’ll get along just fine.”


Male Corrin glanced around the busy rec room. It looked as if they weren’t the only one taking today casually as it came. To his right sat both Pokémon trainers. Those two never seemed to leave each other’s side... however, he did figure their case of clonage was a bit different from his own. Next, Alph and Olimar sat in a circle with their Pikmin bumbling around like children. It was pretty cute. Finally, the Ice Climbers were dreamily looking out the window at the falling snow.


His attention was brought back to the other him, as she cheered, scoring in the game of billiards she and Robin were playing. He smiled. At least she was having fun and not contemplating her own mortal existance.


”I think you may be right, Robin.” Corrin mused.


”I’m always right. I’m a tactician, after all.” She teased the other, delivering a happy punch to his shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, Robin and I didn’t exactly start off on the best note, either.”


This caught Corrin’s attention, returning his gaze back to the cloaked woman. “Oh? Do tell. You two seem to have an inseparable bond.”


”Well, we came from the same realm and time as Chrom and Lucina. However, the Lucina you see in Smash here is not the Lucina from my universe. In fact, she, Chrom, and Male Robin all came from the same universe, with me being an outlier. Both Chrom and Lucina only remembered a male Robin in their timeline, and didn’t know I even existed a universe away. Funny, right? My own friends didn’t realize I was me.”


”I fail to find the humor in that.” Corrin mused, shaking his head. “That’s pretty sad, really.”


”It was. It was almost as if I was starting over from block one. In fact, I grew a resentment for male Robin. I felt as though he was the reason why no one could remember me. Only later did I realize that I came from an entirely different universe... but that was long after many a fight.”


”A fight? With yourself?” Corrin asked intrigued, to which Robin nodded, placing her book down for the first time since Corrin had sat next to her. “Was it a physical confruntation? Or just harsh words?”


”Words.” Robin answered simply. “... But you should’ve seen us out on the field when pitted against each other. Mario said we had a greater rivalry than Link and Gannondorf.”


That made Corrin squeeze out a laugh, softly shaking his head. “I would’ve never guessed. You two seemed so close when I first came to the Hotel. Fashionably late last time, of course.”


Robin laughed as well. “Oh yes, we patched it up after a while. I was the one who put myself out there first. I’m glad he accepted my apology, because with how socially awkward I am, I don’t think I would’ve found friends anywhere else.”


”Awh, you’re being too hard on yourself.” Corrin said, patting her shoulder. Male Robin let out a grumble. He was doing awfully.


”Oh no, it’s true. I believe I was the only one in my entire party to never get married.” She shrugged, picking her book back up, and resting it on her lap. A nervous habit she had yet to break.


”I find that surprising.” Corrin said. “You has no issue talking to me or... uh, what do I call her?” Corrin asked, pointing at the him that was a she.


Robin shrugged. “I usually just call Male Robin dingus, but you can call Female Corrin whatever you want.”


”Well, you hadn’t a problem talking with either of us when we got off that train for the first time.” He continued, his arms crossing.


”Only after we’d been introduced to you by the Hero King.” She interjected. Corrin roller his eyes.


”Alright, alright. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think either of us are married, either.” He said, gesturing to the other Corrin. Looks like the game was almost over in her favor.


”... Hm. Neither is Male Robin.” She shrugged. “Must be a thing amongst us twins, eh?” She poked.


Corrin laughed again. Oh, it felt good. Finally, the game of billiards came to an end, with Female Corrin completely mopping the floor with the tactition. Happily, the duo made it back to their duo. “Looks like we’ve both made some friends.” Female Corrin hummed, with Robin close in tow.


”Looks like our pool skills carry over from universe to universe.” Male Corrin commented.


”Yeah, ours too.” Female Robin added. 


Male Corrin moved to stand. “Well, while we’re here, who’s down for some doubles in table tennis? Us—“ He said, referring to himself and Female Corrin. “—against you two?”


Both Robins made eye contact with one another, but for coming to what appeared to be a mental conclusion. They were not ones to take a challenge sitting down.


At once, their voices rang out.


”You’re on.”

Chapter Text

Around the Hotel, it was beginning to feel pretty restless. Between fights and a handful of other events hosted within the hotel it self, there were some Smashers with more adventurous spirits who were coming down with a case of major cabin fever. 


A plan was hatched within the walls of the Smash Hotel. Ness and Lucas yearned to explore outside in the cold of winter, and were soon joined by Popo and Nana. Each spoke of how awesome it would be to head out on some grand adventure. However, there was absolutely no way the Announcer (or Rosalina, for that matter) would let them go out on their own. Disheartened, the kids returned to poutfully starring out the wind.


Fate, however was on their side, as Princess Zelda walked by. “My, my! What’s everyone so glum about?”


”We wanna go explore outside.” Lucas began


”... but that mean old Announcer won’t let us go alone.” Ness finished, looking up at the taller woman.


Both Ice Climbers nodded in agreement.


”Well, it is dangerous to go alone.” Zelda agreed, a finger being place upside her chin. “... but I think I may have just the thing you kids need.”



A party of six they were, striding fourth into the great unknown. Link, hearing that Zelda intended on heading out into the wilderness with nothing more than a few children felt it his knightly duty to tag along with them.


From head to foot, each person wore protective clothing. Aside from Link, that is, who had left all his Ruto-made clothing in another realm. Instead, he opted to eat a big plate of spicy peppers to keep himself warm.


”I can’t imagine you aren’t cold.” Zelda Sadi as the group began their journey, ditching the royal gown for something more suitable in this weather. A fluffy down-feather covered coat, paired with a hat, mittens, and stuffed boots kept her warm in the frigid cold. Link simply shrugged. Sure, his cheeks were red, but a fire burned in his stomach, keeping him warm. He’d brought more peppers just incase he did begin to feel a bit cold.


Zelda inspected the Link before him. “You are quite odd, Link.” She hummed, continuing to walk along the path. On either side of her, the kids explored as kids did. Climbing atop rocks, seeing all they could before wandering onwards. Popo found himself a sparkly rock that he pocketed, thinking that one of the Villagers or maybe Isabelle might like it. “Of all the Links I’ve seen in my time, you’re the only one to not wear the traditional green.”


Again, Link shrugged. Blue looked better on him anyway. Although, he did bring his green Hero armor he’d found on his journies. He watched as Ness helped Lucas climb into a short tree, the latter boy struggling. It was pretty cute, watching the boys just be boys. He remembered back to his own boyhood, when he and Mipha would do dumb things like they were doing now. Ah, good times, really.


He must not have been the only one watching, because soon enough, Zelda herself made a comment. “You know, I’ve always been fond of children.” She said, catching Link’s attention and returning it to herself. “In castle town, there was this one group of children I would watch from the castle window. To live such a carefree life was what I wished I could’ve done. But, everyone has to grow up sometime, right? Eventually those children would grow into adults, have children of their own, and then the cycle repeats.”


Link nodded along. He was indeed following where she was going, taking mental notes and agreeing. Childhood did have to end sometime. Sometimes much too soon. He was more than happy to walk outside with these kids and help them live out the childhood they deserved to have. He was an adventurer at heart, but hoped one day to settle down his adventurous ways and raise a family of his own one day.


A cry came from Nana, as she pointed at something. This caught the attention of the two adults who were quick to come to her side.


”What is it?” Zelda asked, flanking the PK kids.


”It looks like some kind of treasure chest, Miss Zelda!” Lucas said, an excitement blooming happily in his voice. “But it’s stuck under the frozen ground! What are we gonna do?”


Zelda’s eyes met Link’s. He was already on it. With a flick of his wrist, he grabbed his Shika slate, and activated the magnesis rune. With a grunt, he pulled the chest out of the earth, much to the amusement and wonder of the kids.


”Let’s open it!” Ness cheered. It didn’t take long before the kids were clamoring to get to the inside, much to the amusement of Link and Zelda.


”Looks like you aren’t the only treasure freak, oh Hero of the Wild.” Zelda teases, jabbing him lightly in the ribs. Link cracked a smile, his eyes turning downward. Even here, his reputation preceded him.


”Whoa...” “What are these?” “Wow!”



”Did you kids have a good time on your adventure?” Rosalina inquired, gently stroking a Luma who sat in her lap.


To answer her question, each of the four kids placed something before her. Sticker sheets, music disks, a few trophies. All things that had long since been forgotten from the Smash tournament. “We had a blast!” Lucas exclaimed.


”My oh my! It sure looks like it!” She said, curiously looking over the relics of the past. These brought back! “It’s been a while since I’ve seen any of these!”


Lucas and Ness high fived each other, while Popo and Nana did the same. Link and Zelda looked on from a distance.


”We make the best baby sitters.” Zelda mused happily, offering Link a high five. One he happily accepted.


”Oh yeah.” He agreed, much to the startlement of Zelda.


”So that’s what your voice sounds like!” She exclaimed happily. “Yknow, you really should talk more often. I quite like it.”


Link let out a hearty chuckle, but said nothing, simply shrugging.


Pity. He did have quite the voice.

Chapter Text

Another day came with another lunchroom frenzy, as the fighters retired from their fights for their given afternoon break. It was a simplistic, yet appreciated time for all of them. A time to recount the day so far with close friends, and refuel the tank with precious foods. Dedede and Kirby were way ahead of them on that one, seemingly trying to eat the other under the table, much to the amusement of Ness, Luigi, and Daisy.


Across the way, the ruthless galactic bounty hunter Wolf was only half-eating, and half staring off into the distance. His mind seemed elsewhere, unable to participate in the conversation being housed at the villain’s club table. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he felt... something. Something warm that he didn’t particularly dislike. Strange.


After noticing the wise cracker was remaining oddly quiet today, the rest of the villains (Pirhana Plant included) focused their attention on the canine.


Ganondorf waved his hand in front of the vacant stare, which seemed to bring him back down to Earth. “Earth to Wolf?... It’s rather uncharacteristic of you to keep your trap shut for once. Something must be... wrong.” 


Gruffly, Wolf began digging into the meat that was before him, tearing through it in an attempt to prove he was the same anthropomorphic animal after all. “It’s nothing. I don’t appreciate you sticking that long nose of yours where it doesn’t belong.”


”You’d better cool your jets.” Bowser instructed, not about to allow this kind of attitude to be brought against the King of Disrespect. “Or I’ll make them hotter.”


Wolf grumbled to himself, continuing to eat like a ravenous animal. He didn’t think he was being that obvious.


”What were you oogling, anyway, fleabag?” Ridley chimed in. He was a creature of few words, but even the Cunning God of Death had a curiosity streak in him.


Nothing and no one.” Wolf shot back defensively, shooting the space pirate a glare from his one good eye. Ridley didn’t take that as an answer, instead following his gaze.


He scanned the cafeteria for who he might’ve been looking at. From this angle, it would be impossible to see anyone or anything... other than that table over there. Ridley’s eyes squinted, as he began to think.


Samus, Pikachu, Snake, Fox, Isabelle and a heard of Villagers sat at that table. An unlikely bunch. Who of those could this bag of fleas be looking at? An idea hatched in Ridley’s elongated skull.


Wolf must’ve noticed this, slinking further down in his seat. Fuck this.


”You were eyeing that dog, weren’t you?” Ridley asked, keeping his voice low. A smirk of sorts presented itself on his lips.


”I did a team battle with her, okay?!” Wolf shot back, a growl deep in his voice. “You’d better learn about keeping to yourself, Pirate, or I’ll make sure whatever Samus has done to you in the past is done over a million times.” He threatened.


Ridley chortled lightly to himself, chowing down on a moursal of still-moving flesh. Only the freshest for him. “I can sense it on you. You’re giving off different pheromones. You’d like to do more... “Team Battles” with her, wouldn’t you?” Ridley teased, a glint flickering in his golden eye.


Wolf let off an angry huff, before pushing himself aggressively up to stand. This caught the attention of the rest of the villain’s club, and subsequently the rest of the busy cafeteria. “I. Will. Kill you.”


Ridley simply offered a toothy grin. “Who said I wasn’t going to help? Besides, I’ll come back anyway. I always do.” He taunted. Grabbing his plate, Wolf angrily stomped out and away from the rest of the group.


A moment paused, as the remaining villains began to assist the situation. “... What’s up with him?” Bowser asked, his and the rest of the club’s eyes going to Ridley.


Chomping down the last bit of food he had, the space pirate offered a shrug.


“Mating instinct.”

Chapter Text

Something was wrong with Pikachu. Samus just knew it. Her little yellow friend was on edge, it seemed, as he rode on her shoulder. With one hand, she scratched behind the creatures ear, only to receive a little electric jolt. Eesh, something must be up...


”What’s wrong, little buddy?” She asked, her voice sustaining the same tone as if she were talking to a comrade. “Something must be wrong.”


It took a lot for Samus to grow close to things or people. A life of bounty hunting did that to someone. It seemed that anyone or thing she ever cared for died or stopped existing. Her parents, Adam, Hell, even a baby metroid she’d befriended sacrificed itself for her to live on. But Pikachu... she couldn’t explain why or how, but the little yellow guy had nestled a way into her heart, and that was a feat all it’s own. So, to see him with his hairs all stood up in end like this...


”Piii...” Pikachu seemed to growl, as the two of them were rounding a corner. Samus’s senses heightened, ears peeking to see if she could see what the issue was. Something big must be up. She hasn’t seen Pikachu this hostile since Subspace. Readying her stun pistol, she leaped around the corner to face what stood before her.


It was none other than her mortal rival. A sense of disparity shot through her just from gleaming into that ugly, purple face of his. He didn’t seem to notice her right away, however, too preoccupied...


... with a little yellow mouse of his own, cuddled in his lap.



Lucina: Can we please have just one day where the hotel doesn’t get destroyed?!


Dark Pit: What are you talking about? Nothing’s happened today yet.


Lucina: That’s where you’re wrong.


Fox: Well, out with it then! Don’t keep us guessing.


Lucina: Samus and Ridley.


Fox: ... oh.


Lucina: Yeah, they’re going at it pretty hard, too. Last I saw of it Samus had Ridley in a choke-hold.


Wolf: Good.


Falco: Since when did you become so sympathetic, Wolf?


Wolf: Recently, but not to the likes of you.


Captain Falcon: Where’s this going on at? I think I can hear them.


Lucina: Left wing, second hallway.


Captain Falcon: Neat. Suit or no suit?


Lucina: No, Samus isn’t in her power suit.


Captain Falcon: Neater. See you guys later. I’ve got some errands to run.


Captain Falcon has left the chat.


Falco: Now that’s the falcon I know.


Lucina: Wonderful, I’m glad. But this doesn’t help the problem!! They’re going to hurt themselves! Who’s going to break it up?


Falco: ... Snake?


Snake: !


Snake: Damn it, you got me again. What do you want this time?


Lucina: Can you take care of this one for us?


Snake: That’s a hard no from me.


Falco: What?! But you stopped Donkey Kong and that fat crocodile!


King K. Rool: I have a name, thank you.


Snake: Yes, I did. But Samus scares me wayyyy more than those two ever did.


Falco: Fair point.


Lucina: ... Fox?


Fox: Hah, yeah, good one.


Falco: I think she was serious, dingbat.


Ike: I’m just going to assume every time the chat is exploding like this that there’s a crisis going on.


Ryu: That’s what I do, and it hasn’t failed me yet.


Sonic: Ditto, dude.


Fox: Oh, really? I’m with Snake on this one here. I say just let them duke it out.


Lucina: That’s absurd! We can’t just let them ‘duke it out’!! What if one of them gets hurt?


Dark Pit: Do you want to get between those two?


Lucina: I...


Lucina: ...Good point.


Dark Pit: It does look like you’ve got some brains in that head of yours.



“I won’t let you corrupt him!” Samus shouted, landing a kick square to Ridley’s pointed jaw. Ouch, the dragon recoiled in pain.


”Who says I was corrupting anything?!” Ridley spouted back, making a lunge at the woman before her, missing by mear inches. Instead, he knocked over a potted plant and some fragile decor. 


“Since when have you done anything positive?” She responded, getting another clear blow on Ridley. He let out a shriek, catching her enough off guard to finally get her in his pointed claws. Samus let out a sound of pain, as he pinned her to the wall.


An angry fire burnt in Ridley’s eyes as he held her there. “I should’ve done this long ago.” He spat, his breath hot on her face. It soon got hotter, as his plasma breath began brewing. Samus struggled where she was, but was unable to escape, until...


”Pichu! Pichu!” Pichu cried frantically, crawling up Ridley’s back. In an instant, Ridley lost focus of what he was doing, his eyes turning to the little yellow creature of his back.


It was as if he’d understood what Pichu was saying without saying anything. With a gruff growl, he tossed Samus to the floor. She hit solid, but was quickly back up to her feet. “Don’t go picking fights.” Ridley told her, a pointed look being thrown backward. Turning his back to his mortal enemy, Ridley limped away. He’d taken quite the beating from Samus just now, and still spared her life.


Samus blinked, watching him go. In an instant, Pikachu was at her side, watching as well.


”... Did you see that shit?!” Samus asked, bewildered. “Holy crap... I didn’t think it was possible. Ridley actually cares for someone other than himself.”


”Piii...” Pikachu muttered, just as confused.


Neither thought they’d see the day.



”That was an awful thing you just made me do there.” Ridley said to Pichu, icing his body. Oh, he did not miss the pain.


Pichu nuzzled against the pirate, as if to say sorry. A little jolt came out, shocking him and Ridley.


Ridley groaned again, moving the ice pack.


”... But... I think you were right... If I killed her— and believe me, I do desperately wanted to— they’d kick me out... and after so long, trying my absolute damndest to get in? There’s no way I’m going home so early.”


Pichu could understand that. As much as the first tourney he went to sucked for him, he was crushed when he wasn’t given a letter for the next tournament. “Piii... Pichu...” Pichu pitted against Ridley, much to the dragon’s amusement.


”Next time, though, we’ll kick her ass.” He mused, a low chuckle to his voice.


Pichu responded happily with another small jolt.

Chapter Text

“R.O.B! Vs! Mega Man!”


The announcer’s voice shouted, as both robots took to the battlefield. ROB descended from the sky, assembling himself as his parts came to place. Mega Man flashed his way onto the stage. ROB had never seen anything like it, curiously tilting his head to the side, as the countdown to the battle began.










From the stands, fighters watched on with fascination. It was a battle of generations, after all. ROB was a much older build of robot compared to the super fighting robot he was up against... and it really showed. Mega Man had a much easier time keeping ROB at bay than he had expected.


”It’s almost not right, making them go at it like that.” Sonic commented to Richter and Male Robin, who also watched from the floating stands. Both gave a somewhat skeptical look.


”I didn’t think you of all people would be the one to bring up ethics about robots, Sonic.” Robin commented, his eyes traveling up to the blue blur’s. “If anything, I thought you’d be the one advocating this fight the most.”


”Ah, well...” Sonic mumbled, rubbing at the back of his head. “It’s not like those guys are tearing apart Mobias or anything like that. They’re just, yknow... cute little robo-dudes...”


Again, Richter and Robin exchanged glances.


“Alright, hedgehog. You tell me that next time Mega Man’s shoving his leaf shield down your throat.” Richter mused, hardly stifiling the laugh that tried to make its way out. Robin, on the other hand, had no problem at chuckling at Sonic’s expense.


”Hey, shut up!... Anyone ever tell you two that you sound exactly the same?!”



Luigi cringed in pain as ROB took another devistating hit, sailing off the platform. He didn’t know if the poor guy could even feel pain... but if he could? That one was going to sting. “Mama Mia... It’s like watching a slaughter out there...” Luigi commented to no one in particular.


Dedede, however, found it in himself to respond. “Yeah, and it ain’t the kind that puts food on the table! That ROB fella’s gettin’ absolutely destroyed out there!”


”It’s not like he can help it.” Daisy chimed in. “He’s about a century older than Mega Man is! His parts are probably getting shoddy...”


Ness silently nodded his head. Lucas let out a startled sound as another charge shot landed squarely on ROB’s middle section.






ROB scuttled out of the results station disheartened. He knew deep down that Mega Man had wiped the floor with him, and even if he wasn’t able to show emotion, it really, really sucked. 


It’s as if autopilot had turned on, as ROB moved through the hotel. He walked (or, well, glided) past many a fighter, but didn’t even take the time to look up to scan their faces. His head drooped low as he wondered, trying to find anything to get his analyzer off that last fight. But, despite his best efforts, again and again  the replay played in his mind. All the times he tried something, only for the newer, smarter build to beat his option. 


As if it were fate, his movement pad brought him somewhere he’d never been before. Never imagined being. A place he didn’t even know existed. Curiously, his head rose up to scan the sign that hung above the door that would lead to a new horizon.


Garage & Workshop.


His computer analyzed the information, and brought him to the next logical course of action. If he went inside and got himself a tune up, he could potentially do much better in his fights! He could go for a good oiling...


Gently, he pushed open the door.



From under his beloved Blue Falcon, Captain Falcon heard the noise of the garage door opening. Odd. Normally at this time of day, he was the only one in here. Perhaps it was Fox or Falco coming to tune up their Arwings. With an inch of intrigue, the captain pushed himself out from under the racer.


What he didn’t expect to see was a robot standing in the doorway, inspecting the area from top to bottom. He could see the scanning ROB was doing, as if he were trying to figure out just what was going on in here.


”ROB?” Captain Falcon asked, moving to stand. ROB’s attention snapped to the bounty hunter. “What’re you doin’ in here, buddy? I’ve never seen you in these parts before.”


There was silence between the two of them for a moment, as the realization that ROB could not, in fact, speak dawned on the captain.


”Oh, right, right... Something’s gotta be wrong though, right? Normally you would be off somewhere else...”


At Falcon’s prodding, ROB began to play the projection of his match from earlier in the day. Captain Falcon watched with interest, as ROB was made an absolute fool of.


”Ohhh... I get it. You don’t want that—“ He said, pointing at the match. “—to happen again, do you?”


The projection flicked off, and ROB shook his head ‘no’.


A grin gleamed over Captain Falcon’s face, as he spun a wrench and a screw driver in each of his hands. “Don’t you worry, bud. I’ll make sure it doesn’t.”



There was angry pounding on Captain Falcon’s door. With a groan, he woke up from his nap, and shuffled to the door in nothing more than his underwear, a tank top, and, of course, his trusty racing helmet. “‘M comin’, ‘m comin’! Gimme a sec...”


Opening the door, he was met by a (rather upset) group of Smashers.


”What did you do to ROB?!” Female Corrin asked pointedly.


”Why would you do that to ROB?!” Mario exclaimed.


”... Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” Ken asked, confused.


The mob persisted, as Falcon tried to calm them down.


”Whoa! Whoa! Take it easy, guys! I just gave the guy a little tune-up, is all! He was sick of getting his bolts pushed in all the time by more advanced fighters!”


“What made you think doing that was a good idea?” Falco asked, more annoyed than anything.


Behind them, ROB wheeled past at exceptionally high speeds. His body had gotten a fresh coat of paint, as well, matching that of Captain Falcon’s own color scheme, complete with fire decals on his sides and a painted on helmet of his own. All of ROB’s movements were more fiery and stylish, as well.


”What makes you think I did that?!” Falcon shot back. He was met with only silence. He let out a deep sigh. “Okay, fine. Yeah, I did it. But look at him! He’s so happy now!”


ROB smacked into a wall, leaving a fairly good sized dent.


”You’ve made a monster!” Palutena exclaimed.


Falcon looked her dead in the eyes. “You take that back. I’ve made a masterpiece.”


Trying to steady himself from his speed, ROB tipped on his side, shooting sparks into the crowd of people on accident. Everyone screamed, and dove for cover.


With a grin on his face, Captain Falcon gave his Robotic Operating Buddy a thumbs up.


ROB did nothing but spin.

Chapter Text

Roy sat up in his bed, stretching his arms and inhaling a yawn. Rubbing at his eyes, he allowed the blessed curse of consciousness to slowly seep into his world. Outside, snow was gently falling, and the sun did not shine. Gently, he opened his eyes, only to find Meta Knight staring intently at him.


”Hello.” The knight greeted.


Roy screamed, waking everyone else up in the room.


”W-What’s going on?!” Pit asked, startled awake by the loud noise.


Snake poked his head out from inside his cardboard box.


”Awh, Roy!... I was jus’ gettin’ to the good part...” Chrom whined out. “There was a dragon... and Robin was there...”


“I can’t do this anymore.” Roy mumbled, shaking his head. “I can’t. You’ve all been in here for a week now, and I’m starting to go crazy. We need to find some way to get that gas out of the hallway.”


”Well, what do you suggest?” Leaf asked. “It’s hardly even safe to be in this room, let alone the hallway!”


”I don’t know!” Roy yelled, massaging his temples. Under his breath, he muttered a few curses. “I don’t know what stinks more. Out there, or having no privacy in my own room!”


”It’s definitely out there.” Dark Pit murmured, only to be met with a cold stare. “What?”


”We need a plan, and we need one now.” Roy said. “And if you don’t start thinking of one real quick, I’m going to go over and open that door.”


That threat resonated. Immediately, everyone in the room began to think of how to get out of their situation.



“Run this by me again. Why are we going to Smashville?” Pit asked Ike. The two of them rode the bus into the shopping center.


”Well, we need something to suck up all the... well, gas.” Ike said, casually inspecting his sword. “While we’re there, we’re going to need to pick up a few industrial sized vacuums and as much Smell-away as we can carry. Hopefully that’ll make the hallway at least usable again.”


”And then can we get something to eat?!” Pit asked, a star glowing in his eye. 


Ike let out a chuckle, before ruffling his hair. He didn’t understand why so many people thought of Pit as a bother. The mercenary quite liked him. “Sure, angel boy. Then we can get something to eat.”



Pittoo grumbled, as he walked through the thick smog of the hallway. If it weren’t for the mask on his face, he would’ve been dead by now. The remaining ten people had drawn sticks for who had to do this part of the job... and luck just didn’t seem to be in his favor today.


Loudly, he pounded on door number 30. He could hardly see it through the clouds that encircled it.


Wario eventually opened the door, looking upwards at the fallen angel. “Waht do you wahnt, you miserable—“


It was too late. He was stuffed in the bag Pittoo was carrying.


A few hours later, Pit and Ike returned with armfuls of Smell-away and four industrial vacuums. Their haul was successful. So successful that they even had time to stop for a burger and shakes, something Pit greatly appreciated.


”I wonder what the other guys did while we were gone.” Pit thought aloud, as they came in through the door of the lobby.


”I don’t know.” Ike responded, headed upstairs. Already, he had prepared himself with his mask... but the hallway seemed a little less disgusting than usual. “Hm. Strange... Alright, Pit. Set up your vacuums over there... and there...”



Wario was pissed. Genuinely angry. He had been forced to take a shower, of all things, by the rest of the guys on his floor! He’d worked for ages on that musk, and in a matter of an hour, it was gone! It was so dreadful, he felt as though he needed to cry. Angrily, he stormed back upstairs, only to find that the hallway had been cleaned of the gas in his time gone. All his hard work! All gone!


The rest of the floor three tenants returned to Pit and Ike, using up their last bottles of Smell-away. The stink was no longer visible... In fact, there was no more stench at all! A cheer went up through the rest of the group. The demon was slain!!


”Beers on me!” Snake proposed, much to the joy of the rest of the group.


Roy and the Pokémon Trainers exchanged a knowing look. They were underage.


“But, Snake...” Red started.


Snake seemed to know what they meant.


”Beers and juice boxes on me!”


Another cheer went up, as everyone on the third floor went out to drink.

Chapter Text



Wario let out a low growl, angrily crumpling the sheet of paper in his hands. “Yeah? Or else waht?!” He shouted defiantly at the disembodied voice.


”WE WILL FORCE YOU TO.” The announcer answered. A murmuring went up among the cast, as they spoke of this new rule set.


”Hah! This won’t bother me any.” Ken laughed, running a hand through his silky blond hair. “You think my hair is always this good? Takes three rounds of conditioning to make it look half this good!”


”So that’s where all the hot water goes.” Male Corrin mused, much to the delight of everyone around him. 


Everyone except Sonic, that was.


”N-No way! He can’t do that!” Sonic groaned. “Why should need to take showers?! I smell just fine! See? See?”


“It’s for the health of everyone around you.” Ike answered. “Frankly, I don’t think it would hurt you to bathe every now and then...”


”Yes it would!” Sonic exclaimed. “I hate water! That’s, like, my thing!”


”You’ll live.” Marth told the blue hedgehog. “It’ll only be enough to wet your spines.”



The men’s shower-room was absolutely packed after the matches that had went on today. The heat of the sun seemed to burn much hotter than on other days. Sweat and stink was everywhere. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that the announcer had made it manditory to shower.


The sounds of showers ran all around, as the men cleaned themselves.


”Why are you still in your gear?” Marth asked Shiek. He seemed to be much more skiddish in here than anywhere else, nearly jumping out of ‘his’ skin when the question was brought up.


”... I have my reasons.” Shiek answered. It was lucky ‘he’ wore his mask right now. Otherwise, the others would be able to see the shade of crimson ‘his’ face had turned. The answer seemed to satisfy Marth’s question, however, as he continued into the showers.


Sonic had a plan. Just after he had heard the announcement yesterday, he had sped to Smashville in hopes of finding something to suit his specific needs. What he found was perfect.


Entering the showers, Sonic had donned a yellow rain slicker and rain hat. All eyes seemed to be on him, as the bright outfit radiated off the white walls.


After a moment of silence, Sonic broke the ice. “... What’s everyone staring at?”


”Uhm...” Fox started, but seemed to lose his words.


”I mean...” Robin said, scratching the back of his wet hair.


”Oh, come on!” Sonic groaned. “The Inklings are literally huddled under an umbrella!”


He was right. The four boy Inklings had brought an umbrella with them into the shower to hide from the water pouring on top of them.


”That’s because they literally melt when they touch water.” Ryu pointed out. “Or, I assume so, anyway. I’ve never seen any of them in the water before.”


”Have you ever seen me in the water?! How do you know I don’t melt!” Sonic asked defiantly.


”I’ve-a seen you. In the Olympics, remember?” Mario retorted. He was met by a cool stare from Sonic. “... Didn't you also lose cycling to-a Waluigi?”


”Shut up, Mario.” Sonic muttered, the usual spunk to his voice seemingly gone. “I... I just don’t like water, okay?! Is that such a bad thing?”


”I think the term is ‘hydrophobe’.” Red spoke up. “I know Charizard has that... but that makes sense, because if the fire on his tail goes out, he dies.”


Sonic nodded his head, before walking towards a stall. “Can we just let this be? If I’m gonna be required to be in here with all of you, I’m wearing this thing, okay?! It’s no different than Falcon wearing his helmet in here.”


Everyone’s eyes turned to Captain Falcon who was, in fact, still wearing his racing helmet.


”I just thought that was his head.” Chrom whispered to Roy, who face palmed.


”Alright, alright. You’ve gotta point, Sonic.” Little Mac spoke up, his head covered in shampoo. “... But don’t think this is just going to stay in here.”


”Oh, definitely not. There’s no way we aren’t letting the ladies hear about this one.” Ganondorf mused, a somewhat crooked smile coming over him.


A laugh rang throughout the showers, as Sonic tried to blend in with the wall. He was never going to live this one down, now, was he?

Chapter Text

“Richter? Richter? Are you there?” Simon called, knocking on his great-to-some-degree-grandson’s door. Being the nearsighted fellow he was, Simon also donned a pair of reading glasses, and held in his hand his Smash Communicator. “I have a few questions...”


Richter eventually opened the door, smiling brightly to his ancestor. It’s strange how used he had gotten to seeing the legendary Simon Belmont every day. “Heya, Simon! More technical problems?” He asked.


“No, not quite that.” Simon said, making a move to enter the younger man’s room. “You seem to be more open about this whole Smash Tournement thing than I am... and I have an awfully hard time remembering names. On this Smash Communicator thing, someone’s been privately messaging me, and I wish to know who it is.”


”Oh?” Richter asked, raising an eyebrow. He moved with his ancestor towards his desk, to inspect the situation. “Didn’t think you’d manage to meet someone worth talking to before I did!”


Simon didn’t seem to get the context. “You have made many friends here, while I have not. You have that one blue-haired woman, and the two in the cloaks, and that one dad who makes the best hamburgers I’ve ever had.”


”No, that’s not—“ Richter stopped himself  as Simon opened the private messages. His heart seemed to sink.


Right there, in big, black letters, was one name.


”Richter, who is Bayonetta?”


”I-I...” Richter stammered for a moment. “I don’t think you want to be talking with her, Grandp— Simon. She’s bad buisness.”


”That’s the name of a woman?” Simon asked, adjusting his glasses. “I would’ve never guessed. No matter. What’s so wrong with her? She seems like a perfectly fine individual.”


”Simon—“ Richter started, before looking over Simon’s shoulder to the beginning of the chatlog.



A Private Chat Has Been Started Between: Simon and Bayonetta


Bayonetta: Hey there, big papa ;)


Simon: Not yet. I have yet to bear kin and continue the Belmont legacy. What is the meaning of this?


Bayonetta: Oh, you are a smart one, aren’t you? There’s no real meaning behind this... It’s just that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I was wondering if you’d like to make it one to remember, oh legendary vampire slayer.


Simon: Every day is memorable while I am here. It is such a strange place, and I’ve met a number of strange people. Take, for example, my own descendent Richter. I have yet to have children. How can he exist?


Bayonetta: Oh, tell me more. 


Simon: The legacy of Belmonts stretches for many years. In fact, my father handed down the very magical whip I use today in order to destroy Dracula and all his evil minions. A feat I accomplished not once, but twice.


Bayonetta: Oh my! You must be quite handy with that whip then, mm?


Simon: I would say that, yes.


Bayonetta: What else can you use it for? ;)


Simon: I use it to tether onto ledges.


Bayonetta: ... Right.


Bayonetta: Do you mind if I slip into something a little more... comfortable?


Simon: I don’t understand.


Bayonetta has changed their nickname for this chat. It is now: Bayo.


Bayo: Hmm?


Simon: Shorter. More to the point. I appreciate this.


Bayo: Hopefully you won’t make me appreciate what’s short.


Simon: Again I must apologize. I do not understand. If you are referring to my height, I am rather tall.


Bayo: Oooo!~ <3


Simon: What



“You need to stop this.” Richter said, pointing at the tablet. “And you need to stop this now.”


Simon’s expression went to one of... hurt? “What?” He asked. “Richter, my boy... I’m just making a new friend, and you’re telling me to put it out? What kind of a friend are you?”


”Grand— Simon, you wouldn’t like the kind of person Bayonetta is.” Richter retaliated. “You two... You just aren’t meant to be, alright?”


”You make it sound as though I intend to make some kind of romantic move on her.” Simon stated, oblivious to the umbra witch’s intentions.


”B-But!! Simon!” Richter started, flabbergasted, before his eyes met Simon’s. The elder vampire hunter looked hurt beyond measure. Oh God, He was going to hate himself for this, but— “... Alright, alright... Next time we’re in a group together, I’ll point her out to you. Happy?”


Simon gave his grandson a hug. “... I thank you.”


This took Richter aback, not expecting such sudden contact. However, it was soon reciprocated. “Yeah, yeah. There there, you big old teddy bear.”


”I do not understand your warnings.” Simon said, which Richter only rolled his eyes at.


”Oh, you will.”

Chapter Text

Today was a big day at the Hotel, as the day of love had invited itself through the world. Valentine’s Day was here, and the announcer announced an unprecedented day of rest (one that everyone was grateful for).


On top of that, everyone was allowed one call home via their communicator, so they could speak with their loved ones back in their own dimensions. Many capitalized on this, from Diddy Kong phoning Dixie Kong, to Chrom and Lucina calling Olivia.


Everyone seemed jolly beyond belief... Except for Richter. He was itching to make a call, but he had no one. He could always use his one call on Maria, but that’d be a little strange. After all, she was the younger sister of his deceased girlfriend, and to call her up on the day of love? It would be odd, even if he did just ask to see how she was doing. The younger vampire hunter simply drew little circles on the hardwood of a table in the dining area, looking around at all the others catching up with the ones they loved.


”Something wrong?” Came a voice. Richter’s eyes rose up to see the brown in Female Robin’s.


”No.” Richter said dismissively. This didn’t fly too well with his friend, who simply rose a brow at him.


”Come now, Richter. Don’t be that way. Something is pretty obviously wrong. Ask anyone around here, and they’ll tell you I’m a great listener.”


Richter let out a deep sigh. “You’re really not going to let this one go?”


”No.” She insisted. “Today’s supposed to be a happy day! Why are you so glum?”


”Annette.” Richter answered simply, his eyes dropping towards the table. “Every time Valentine’s Day rolls around, I can’t get her out of my head.”


”A girl back home?” Robin asked, intrigued now. “Did... Did she hurt you in some way? Is that why you haven’t called her?”


There was a small pause, as Richter thought. “... In a way, you could say that. You see, with my first run-in with Dracula, he had captured both my darling Annette and her little sister, Maria. I... I saved Maria... But the dark force transformed Annette into a monster before my very eyes. One that tried to kill me... So I was forced to fight back...” At this point, tear droplets has began to form in Richter’s eyes. “I... Think you understand the rest.”


Oh, she most certainly did. Moving to his side, Robin wrapped the poor soul in a warm hug. “Tell you what... We’re going to make today a good day, okay? We’ll find Male Robin, and then we’re going into Smashville for some ice cream, okay?”


Richter wiped at his eyes, nodding his head. “Y-Yeah. Yeah. I think I’d like that.”



“Was the blindfold really necessary, Luigi? Just tell me what it is!” Daisy laughed, as Luigi led her by the hand. He had some kind of surprise for her, but he was keeping her in the dark about it. Quite literally.


”Just a little further, okay?” Luigi insisted, tugging his loved one along. “It’ll be worth it! You’ve just gotta trust me!”


Winding down the hallway, the duo eventually made it to room number 9. Fumbling with his room key, the door finally swung open. With a swift motion, he pulled both of them inside.


“Okay... You can take off the blindfold now...” Luigi instructed. He’d worked hard for what he held in his hands now... He deeply hoped she liked it. His mind seemed to be throwing too many thoughts to count at him.


She did just as he had instructed... Her eyes coming to rest on the scrapbook he had for her. Blinking twice, she took it from him gently, and began to flip through the pages.


Thumbing through it, Daisy saw so many moments of her life that she thought she’d never see again. It seemed as if every important moment they’d shared together was conveniently placed in one little book. Her heart fluttered with every flip of the page, and each brought a warm, genuine smile to her face.


”Wow...” Daisy gasped. “How did you get so many pictures, Luigi?”


Luigi let out a coy little chuckle, scratching at the back of his head. “I uh... I found a place in Smashville that offered a kind of memory-splicing that could make visible images. Had me under there for a few hours collecting all of those.”


”Really? This must’ve costed a fortune!” Daisy gasped out. 


Again, Luigi made a shy little laugh. “It was worth every gold coin.”


Daisy wrapped her significant other in a darling embrace, and, much to Luigi’s surprise, pressed their lips together. “You are the most thoughtful guy I’ve met in my entire life... Literally.”


Both of them had a genuine laugh at that.


Best. Valentine’s Day. Ever.



The villain’s club had met together again, and were in an intense game of Monopoly, rolling dice and moving their pieces. Surprisingly, Dark Samus was rolling everyone else under the table.


Ganondorf looked to the other members of his group. “... Does anyone here actually have a significant other?” He asked?


A chorus of ‘no’s rang out. The Pirhana Plant, however, rose a leaf.


Bowser thwacked it on the back of the head. “You mate with anything that moves.”


The Pirhana Plant lowered its leaf.


It was lonely playing the bad guy.



Red’s Squirtle and Ivysaur has hatched a plan... one they soon transferred to both Charizard and Leaf’s Pokémon. Today was a day of love. Didn’t their trainers deserve love, too? More love than they could provide, anyway. The love of not another Pokémon... but of a human?


Truly, there was no one more deserving of love than the one who had single-handedly raised them. Squirtle had recalled being hatched from his egg, only to see Red’s smiling face staring back down at him. If that wasn’t love at first sight, he didn’t know what was.


So, the six of them got to scheming. Who better to love a Pokémon Trainer than, well, another Pokémon Trainer! It was an idea so simple and novel that they didn’t know why the Trainers themselves hadn’t thought of it!


It was decided, then, that they’d put the idea inside their heads... with a romantic dinner.


This could only go so well.


”Whoa, hey, you guys!” Leaf shouted as Squirtle and Ivysaur practically dragged her by the hand to the meeting place. “What’s gotten into you two?!”


Red was in a similar situation, being brought on the back of Charizard to the main hall.


Scavenging around, the Pokémon had come across a box Snake had discarded, and, turning it upside down, transformed it into a table. Finding an old broomstick, Leaf’s Charizard had snapped it, before lighting it aflame to create a makeshift candle.


”Squirt squirt!” Leaf’s Squirtle announced happily, as they made it. Right on time. Red arrived shortly after, his ride not quite as smooth.


”Red?” Leaf asked, confused beyond all measures. “What’s this all about?”


But Red was just as confused as she was. “I... Don't know. Something just got into Charizard, and he brought me here for whatever reason!”


”Is... That supposed to be a candle?” Leaf asked, pointing to the burning wood. Happily, both Ivysaurs nodded furiously. The Squirtles high-fived. This was going great!


But then came the food.


The Squirtles filled the water glasses from their mouths, offering them to their respective trainers.


”Awwwh! I think the little guys want to treat us for Valentine’s Day!” Red laughed, taking the water from Squirtle. “Thanks, buddy!”


Not exactly the point... Both pairs of Squirtles and Ivysaurs exchanged glances. 


The Ivysaurs offered up some (surprisingly well constructed) salads to their trainers, who graciously took the food.


”Not bad!” Leaf exclaimed, ruffling Ivysaur’s head.


And then, the Charizards brought on the main course. Looking at it, Red wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a steak or a pile of ash, but the one thing he could tell was that it was burnt beyond recognition.


”Heh... Thanks...” Red murmured, a hint of dejectedness in his voice. “I, uh... Appreciate the effort?”


Oh no, they were losing them! The two trainers didn’t even seem to be paying attention to each other anymore!


It was past the point of no return, however, as the duo finished what they could of their meals. Happily, both trainers returned their Pokémon, never once catching onto their intentions.


”Y’know?” Leaf started. “I think we might just have the best Pokémon in the world.”


Red laughed at that. “I think you may just be right.”



Snake sat on the couch in the rec room, drinking down some cheep alcohol. Bah, to hell with this holiday. If anyone thought he had time for love, they’d be dead wrong.


Samus entered the rec room, surprised to see Snake in there looking so dejected. “Huh. Thought I was the only one who spent Valentine’s Day drinking alone.”


Snake tossed a look over his shoulder at the woman, and offered her a shrug. “Thought that if we have this free day, I might as well spend it getting plastered.”


”That’s just like you.” Samus mused. “Gimme one of those.”



In the cover of the afternoon daylight, Wolf slunk past the bottom hallway of rooms, looking for the one who’d been on his mind for so long. In his paws, he held a letter. He felt so stupid for doing this... but it was as if a force other than himself drove him to do it. 


With his one good eye, he looked at the names above the doors. Ridley, Belmonts, King K. Rool... There it was.


Quickly, he slipped the letter into Isabelle’s mailbox, before starting in the opposite direction. Hopefully the anonymous letter didn’t tip anyone off—


A door creaked open behind him, and Wolf stopped dead in his tracks. Even though he wasn’t looking at them, he knew that individual was staring him down with a shit-eating smirk on my face. “Motherfucker.” Wolf muttered under his breath.


”That’s no way to address a friend, O’Donnell.” Came the raspy whisper of Ridley.


”I swear on my life, Ridley.” Wolf growled, for the first time looking at the other. “That if you dare say anything. I will rip your throat out and—“


”I get it.” Ridley started, raising a clawed hand. “You’re ashamed of yourself. Who do you think I’m going to go and tell? Pichu?... I can keep a secret, Wolf... And if you befriend me, I can be a useful ally.”


”I don’t need allies.” Wolf spat, walking on.


”Whatever you say, lone Wolf.” Ridley growled back, retreating to the safe haven of his room once more.



Isabelle, later, returned to her room, a yawn escaping her. It had been a long day today, even without any fighting.


A blinking mail box caught her attention, however. Curiously, the shih zhu opened the mailbox, taking the many gifts and letters out.


Oh my, she sure seemed to be a popular one today! Her heart was all a flutter.


Chapter Text

Incineroar was minding his own buisness, really. Most of the time, he didn’t like to get involved in other people’s buisness. Even though he was technically a dark-type Pokémon, the big cat knew how to keep away from pestering others. For the most part, anyway. Every now and then a more devilish side would arise from him, and he’d leave a prank or two around for one of the other smashers. They’d never figure out who did it, either. It was the perfect crime. Or, forbid, purrfect.


After pestering Little Mac for a while today (he loved that human beyond belief, but Mac only saw him as a big annoyance), the fire-type Alolan was looking for a place to curl up and nap for a while. Not in his room, no. Somewhere... more inconvenient for others around him. Maybe right in the middle of the floor in the lobby? Anywhere he decided had to be decided fast, however, as he could feel the sleepiness setting in.


Something caught his eye, however. Quickly, the big cat flicked his head, spotting his mortal enemy.


The glowing red dot.


Incineroar’s pupils began to grow from little slits to full circles. Bending, the cat crouched at the dot, preparing to pounce. As sneakily as a 183-pound cat could, he approached... before pouncing up at it.


He smacked against the wall, and that damned dot moved to avoid him. 


“Cineroar!” The cat roared, as he jumped again, falling short of his mark once more, but leaving some nasty claw marks on the wall.


Every time the cat would jump or move for the glowing red spot, it would dart away. It glided down hallways, across doors, and even had the audacity to bounce between his own two eyes. Again, the cat roared out in frustration.


There. On the door. There was no way this little fucker was going to—


Incineroar threw his whole body weight at the door, throwing it off its hinges, and making him face plant head-first into the room before him. Ouch, that hurt. What hurt even more was the blood-curdling scream that went up from the room’s inhabitant.


”Get out! Get out! You damned cat, get out!!” Lucina shouted, swatting Incineroar with a nearby feather duster.


”Roaar! Incin!!” He cried back in anguish, covering his head with his meaty arms. Couldn’t she see there were much bigger issues at hand? There was a dangerous red dot running free in this hotel, and he would be damned before he let it get away!


With his tail placed firmly between his legs, Incineroar darted out of the swordswoman’s room. Other than the few injuries he’d endured, there was a much more pressing issue at hand.


He’d lost the dot.



From down the hallway, Snake held ROB, who was still Falcon-ized. The red dot that glowed on his head was temporarily out, to avoid suspicion. Nope. It wasn’t him who was tormenting the big cat... Nothing to see here.


”Well... That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Shulk mused at how things had turned out, rubbing at the back of his blond hair.


”No, not particularly.” Snake agreed. “... But I told you it’d work. Cats can’t resist it... Even big ones like Incinaroar. Pay up.”


Shulk let out a small grumble, before paying the mercenary the five dollars he had bet.


Score one for Team Solid.

Chapter Text

A startled yelp escaped Pit, as he was thrust awake. His mind swam with feelings of dispare and dread, terror flooding him from his head to his feet. He clutched the covers tightly, as he slowly descended from his terrified height. Oh boy, that was a rollercoaster of a nightmare.


Pit groaned, his head hitting the pillow again. Dang it, he thought he was done with dreams like those! Hades was dead, Medusa was banished, and Lady Palutena was safe and sound. She was even staying at the same hotel as he was! It was utterly ridiculous that this kept happening.


He wasn’t a failure. He was a hero. He was as much of a hero as the three Links, or Mario or even Mega Man. He’d saved Skyworld from the clutches of evil, and served his goddess with full conviction.


He was a good angel.


As he tried to thrust himself back to sleep once more, however, his mind continued to swim. What if he hadn’t used the lightning chariot? What if Hades had won the battle? Viridi had told him that there was a universe out there where he had failed. Many, probably. With this whole multi-universe thing going on, why was he the one who was chosen to represent Skyworld in this tournament?


Again, he groaned, pushing himself out of bed. What this session of exsistential crisis needed was some cake.


Walking down the hallway, Pit passed many a room, housing one of his seventy plus opponents. It was so strange to him that he could slice his friends with swords, and shoot them with light arrows, and they would still be okay with it. If one thing was for sure, this was one messed-up multiverse.


Taking the stairs from his floor-three residence, he spiraled down, passing floors as they came. Newer and newer fighters, they were, and all of them were welcome additions to the cast. In his book, anyway. Samus would definitely have some choice words about some of the newcomers, but none of them really caused Pit any hardships.


Coming out into the main lobby, Pit spotted a clock on the wall. 3 AM. It was too early for this, for sure.


”I am a guardian of the goddess of light.” Pit muttered to himself. “I shouldn’t feel so much dread... I... I do a good job.”


Finally, he reached his destination. The kitchen. He pushed past the double doors, and made a b-line to the fridge. Digging around for a moment, he came across a velvet cake, on baked, no doubt, by Princess Peach. His mouth watered just at the sight of it. Snatching a slice or two, he began to eat, not even bothering with a plate or utensils.


However, turning around, he sensed he wasn’t alone. Squinting through the darkness, he saw the portly figure of someone he knew.


”... Wario?” Pit asked, his mouth full of cake. “Whmt arh you doing here?”


Wario froze up at the voice of the other, blinking a few times before letting out a low huff. “That’s nonna your business, Cupid! Stop stickin’ your-a nose where it doesn’t belong!”


”Alright! Alright! Jeez, I’m sorry for caring.” Pit shot back at him, continuing to munch on his cake.


Wario let out another low sound of disapproval. “And I-a bet those are the last two pieces of cake, no?”


Pit nodded his head... but, in an act of kindness, decided to give the second piece up to the other man.


With some hesitance, Wario took the slice from the angel. Huh. Strange. This was the first time anyone had ever done something... nice for him.


”Now will you tell me why you’re here?” Pit asked, with a tilt of his head.


Wario hesitated for a moment, before moving to sit beside Pit, and eat his cake. “I’m-a down here every night.” He said simply, biting through his cake. “Why are you down here?”


“Exsistental distress.” Pit answered simply. “Plus this cake is too good to pass up. Why are you down here every night? I could swear that was you snoring...”


”No, that’s-a Ike.” Wario corrected. “Imma down here every single night eatin’ my troubles away. I-a don't-a know if you noticed, but Wario ain’t as-a popular as he once was.”


”Mmh, I getcha... They seemed real happy to have you in Brawl.” Pit remarked.


Wario nodded. “But now they-a only see Wario as a nuisance. For, heh, obvious reasons.”


”Awwwh, c’mon, Wario! You aren’t a nuisance!” Pit responded. “You just... Need to take a bath every now and then...”


”I-a hate the bath!! Wario is-a proud of his stink!” Wario pounded his fist against the table.


”I mean, we all have our vices... but most other people don’t appreciate it, is all.” The angel responded, sucking down his last few bites of cake. Mmh, that princess could bake.


Wario huffed angrily. “Wario doesn’t care what anyone else-a think! What everyone else things is stupid! Wario’s been overshadowed by his childhood rival! The plumber over the entrepreneur! I-a have a successful buisness, and who gets all the praise? Who gets all the fame?! Mario!”


”You and Mario were childhood rivals?” Pit asked, surprise. Wario nodded. “Huh. Learn something new everyday.”


”Now Wario is forced to shower and act decent! All Wario wants is attention, but he gets none! His only-a friend couldn’t even make the roster!” Wario groaned out, smacking his head against the table. Hesitantly, Pit moved to comfort him.


”There... Uh, there, Wario... There’s always next time...”


”Wario is lonely... Wario has no friends...” Wario wailed. 


“I-I’ll be your friend!” Pit said, really without thinking.


Wario’s eyes turned towards the angel, before turning skeptical. “Do you mean it?”


Pit nodded. “I... Surprisingly get where your coming from, really... I bust my backside for Lady Palutena, but I’m never recognized. Maybe a few pick-me-up lines here and there, but nothing too much, y’know?... I think we’ve got more in common than you may think.”


Wario nodded in agreement. “Fuck-a that prude, eh?”


Pit glared at his new ‘friend’. “I may not get what I might deserve, but Lady Palutena is my goddess, and you won’t be going around saying that.”


Wario raised his hands defensively. “Alright! Alright! Wario understands!”


Wario stuck out his hand for a handshake. “To-a mutual respect for the under-appreciated.”


After thinking for a moment or two, Pit stuck it there. 


“To... that. Yeah.”

Chapter Text

Skrt. Skrt. Skrt. Little Mac’s shoes squeaked against the floor, as the boxer worked on his footwork. Jab, jab, fade-away, uppercut. He was in the zone, absolutely going to town on the defenseless sandbag before him.


He could almost hear Doc Louis screaming at him. “Hit ‘em, Mac baby! Show ‘em everything you got!”


Breathing heavily, Little Mac did just that, landing a square punch right where the jaw would be. His pink hoodie kept him warm and sweating, the weight of the material clinging closely to his skin. Winding up, Little Mac unleashed a swing powerful enough to shatter bones, leaving the sandbag skirting and flipping across the gym floor. Satisfied with his work, Mac exhaled, a small hint of a smile gracing his features.


That would do for today.


”That one was for you, Momma.” Mac said to no one in particular.


He had been in the gym for upwards of an hour and a half, practicing his form. It was no secret amongst the hotel that Little Mac was somewhat of an underdog. With no recovery to speak of and a rather short stature compared to some of the hulking behemoths here, he seemed to be outmatched by everyone. That didn’t bug him, however. Living in the Bronx with seven older brothers taught Mac that he needed to be faster, and he needed to hit harder. And he intended to do just that.


Gripping the stings of his gloves with his teeth, Little Mac pulled them tight to his hands. He could go for a chocolate bar, really... but, as he turned around, he realized he wasn’t the only one in the open gym.


”That was... Impressive.” Ganondorf remarked, leaning against the wall. “I am most pleased with what you’ve just demonstrated, Mark.”


”It’s Mac. Little Mac.” The bruiser responded. “... But thanks. A compliment here and there is always appreciated.”


”You know, Max... Of all the heroes here, you are the one I find most... Tolerable.” Ganondorf mused, still leaving against the wall. As Mac turned to leave, the king of evil followed him in the same stride.


”I’m no hero... but I’m not a villain either. So whatever it is you’re trying to get me to do for you, I’m not biting. I’m a boxer. It’s what I’ve been raised to do.” Little Mac told the other.


”Do for me?... I had no plans for that. Can’t a man just compliment his competition?” Ganondorf asked, rounding a corner with the other.


Little Mac shrugged. “I never took you for the kind to give compliments.”


”Even an evil person can recognize the potential in someone.” Ganon mused. “And Marx, you seem to just radiate it.”


”Again, it’s Mac.” Little Mac corrected. Digging through the pockets of his sweatshirt, Little Mac began to unwrap a chocolate bar. His favorite post-workout snack. Thanks Doc Louis. “I try my hardest. Guess my work paid off. I mean, I don’t think I’d be here if I wasn’t.”


”You truly have earned the title of an elite.” Ganondorf agreed. “Now... Ive watched you closely. Observed a few of your matches. What goes through you when you unleash that powerful K.O. punch?”


Little Mac shrugged, chewing his candy. “I guess if they piss me off enough, it just kinda happens. Works in WVB, too.”


Ganondorf laughed at that. Rubbing at his nose, Ganon nodded. “Anger’s a great tool when used correctly. You can crush any opponent with ease.”


”I thought that’s what the triangle of power or whatever it is was for.” Little Mac commented, entering the lobby with the other man. His hoodie still consealed him.


”I suppose so.” Ganondorf muttered, his cape swishing behind him. The day was beginning to grow long for the both of them... Mac specifically. He still needed to hit the showers before going off to sleep.


”Well, Ganondorf, it’s been surprisingly nice experience speaking with you. You aren’t quite the bastard Zelda painted you to be.”


”Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am a bastard, and I’m damn proud of it, too... but a man can have respect every now and then.” He mused. Taking his hand, Ganon reaches for a red rupee in his pocket, tossing it Mac’s way. Despite having gloves on, Mac still managed to catch the shiny jewel. “Buy a few more candy bars on me.”


Little Mac watched the king of evil walk away, and then looked down at the jewel in his hand.


”Hm. Looks like the king of evil’s a little more down to Earth than I thought.” Little Mac thought aloud.


”... Still don’t trust him as far as I can Smash him, though...”

Chapter Text

Fox wandered into the rec room after a long day of smashing. Oh boy, was it grueling out there today. He'd had his strength tested by many a combatant. Ridley, Kirby, and even the Ice Climbers came after him, and, somehow, he'd beaten each one of them back. Well, except for Kirby. Though, in his mind, two out of three isn't all that bad.


What he could really go for right now was a relaxing action movie. He was sure that others would join in on the fun, as well. After a long day at the tournaments, it was something that helped chill the mood. And really? Who didn't enjoy a good movie from time to time?


However, when he entered the room, something was... amiss.


Sitting in his spot was one of those Mii Fighters (in this case specifically, a Gunner) who looked shockingly similar to someone he knew. No one around the Gunner said anything, accepting the fact that there was a Mii dressed as the one and only Fox McCloud in their group.


"Uhm? Excuse me?" Fox asked, with a slight tilt of his head. "Just who might you be?"


Heads of those who occupied the couch turned towards Fox. An air of confusion came over each and every one of them, as they noticed the newcomer.


"Uh-oh." Pit said, a slight shock to his voice, "One of the AI fighters must've gotten out of containment!"


"What?!" Fox exclaimed. "You can't be serious! It's me, fellas! Fox!"


Falco looked at his teammate, before scoffing. "Yeah, right. And I'm Andross's second cousin. Beat it, bot, before we get the control squad up in here."


"H-Hey now, Falco. You shouldn't-a be so rude to the AI." Luigi warned, "They tend to be unpredictable when outside-a of combat!"


Falco rolled his eyes at that. "You think I can't take this faker?"


"I'll make you eat those words!" Sonic screamed from the back of the room. All eyes turned to him who, embarrassed, looked away. "Sorry... Force of habit..."


"He has a head sticking out of my head!" Fox exclaimed, gesturing open-armed at the other. "How can you not tell the difference?!"


"I think he may be telling the truth..." Richter mused, rubbing at his chin. "Most bots can't hold a conversation this long. Quick, ask him questions only the real Fox would know."


"Son of a... This is what we're resolving to?! Fine. Fire away." Fox grumbled, crossing his arms. He was starting to get annoyed.


"How many smash tournaments have there been?" Pit grilled.


"Really? That's your opener? C'mon, guys, you gotta go harder than this." Fox insisted. "Counting this one? Five."


"Lucky guess." Wolf growled. "Where was the last battle of the Lylat Wars?"


"Venom." Fox answered, without hesitation. "Me and the StarFox team took down Andross, no thanks to you." He added, pointed. Wolf huffed and sunk into his seat.


Falco stood, looking the other in the eye. "Ohhh, so you think you're smart, do ya, wise guy?"


"Well, yeah, I like to think that. I mean, I only help you survive out there, Lombardi."


"Yeah? Well, if you're the real Fox McCloud, answer me this. What. Is my. Middle. Name?" Falco asked, adding extra emphasis on every word. Anyone could know what happened on Venom. This time, the question was personal.


Fox sighed deeply. "You really gonna make me do this, buddy?"


Falco nodded. "Unless you're scared, that is."


Fox gave a smug look. "Jerold."


That took Falco aback. Well. He wasn't expecting that. "Holy shit, it is you, McCloud!"


A commotion went up among the rest of the people, as Fox drank it all in. It felt good to be right every now and then.


"Well, if that's the real Fox, then who is...?" Sonic asked, as everyone's eyes went towards the Mii Gunner. They were sweating absolute bullets.


Without a word, the impostor took to their feet, sprinting out of the room. Everyone watched as they ran, fast and far, away from the others.


"Huh." Richter mumbled. "That is not something you see every day."


"I'm just glad you came to your senses." Fox sighed, taking his rightful seat on the big, comfy couch. A content sigh came from him. "So. Now that that's all cleared up, who's picking today's movie?"


A commotion went up again as the cast argued over which movie to watch.


Oh, the joys of Super Smash Brothers.

Chapter Text

A Private Session has been enacted between: Luigi & Daisy


Luigi: Daisy Daisy Daisy!!


Daisy: What? What is it? What’s wrong?


Luigi: I need your help!! There’s a cat!


Daisy: ... what?


Luigi: There’s a cat looking in on my window! 


Daisy: Literally how?! You’re on the top floor!


Luigi: I don’t knowwww!! But it’s just been staring at me and it’s freaking me out!!


Daisy: A leaf blowing in the wind would freak you out, sugar cube.


Luigi: Daisy, this is serious!!!


Daisy: Alright, Alright! If it’ll help you stop freaking meowt!


Luigi: >:(


Daisy: ;)


Daisy: Seriously, though. I’m on my way.



Daisy made the trek up the stairs and to her boyfriend’s room. The door was already unlocked, which was a bad sign. Luigi never left his door unlocked, unless something was terrifying him. Well, the door was unlocked quite a bit.


”Where’s the problem, chief? I’ve been dying to get my paws on it!” She punned, grinning from ear to ear. Luigi was funneled up in a corner beside his desk, and pointed towards the clear glass that was his window. On the ledge sat a skinny caleco cat, who was scratching at the frame. “Holy wow, how did she even get up this high?” Daisy asked, moving towards the window.


”I donno!” Luigi answered, slowly coming out of his hiding place. “If-a you ask me, it’s a bad sign!”


”Pfff! You’re just paranoid! Not everything’s out to get you, green.” Daisy teased.


”It feels like that sometimes!” Luigi shot back. Daisy, however, wasn’t paying attention, moving slowly towards the window as to not alert the cat.


Slowly, she opened the window. As soon as it was wide enough, the feline strutted itself in as if it owned the whole hotel. Luigi let out a startled cry, as the cat came to him.


Meowing, the kitty rubbed its head against Luigi’s denim overalls. At once, it began to purr.


”Awww!” Daisy all but squealed. “Isn’t that just the cutest?”


Cautiously, Luigi bent half way to pet at the creature before him. If anything, that made the cat purr louder. Daisy smiled, before moving to pet the cat herself.


”Well! Looks like you’re the proud owner of a new cat! How does it feel to be a father?” Daisy asked him, which made his cheeks go beat red.


”W-Who says I’m-a keeping the thing?!” Luigi asked. The cat continued rubbing against him.


”At this point, it would be a crime not to.”


Luigi let out a small huff. “Yeah. The day I become a cat father is the day I completely go over the edge.”



Two weeks later, Daisy happened up to her boyfriend’s room again, knocking on the wood of the door.


”Come in!” Luigi yelled out, petting the cat that sat on his lap. “It’s open!”


Daisy opened to door to see Luigi and the cat. “Ah, hey there, Furball! How’s Meatball doing?”


Luigi smiled back. “Meatball’s as healthy as can be. Dr. Mario told me so.”


”Looks like you’ve gone ‘off the deep end’, huh?” Daisy mused.


Luigi rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I guess I have.”


Meatball let out a loud snore.

Chapter Text

“There! There! Put the flag there!” Nana  chirped to her brother. With a mittened hand, she pointed to a specific spot on the snowbank. The duo had been working hard all afternoon to perfect their masterpiece, and finally, the snow hut was almost ready to be inhabited.


Popo complied, sticking the bright orange flag atop their beautiful feat of engineering. One on side of the fabric was Popo’s name, and on the other was Nana’s, removing any questions about who owned such a lavishly built structure. Out of pure joy, Popo burst out in a cheer. “We did it, Nana! I knew we could! We’re gonna be the envy of the hotel!”


The duo shared a high-five, before retreating inside the hideaway.


Princess Peach had been walking leisurely through the courtyard when she stumbled upon something that appeared to be an igloo. From the inside, she could hear talking and laughing, which certainly peaked her interest.


”My, my,” she thought to herself, “whatever could be happening in there?”


Carefully, she lowered herself down to the level of the opening. It was rather small—obviously not accommodating for the larger fighters that attended the tournament—and the walls squeezed against her sides as she made her way inside.


As she was entering, the beauty of the construction was what first caught her attention. Wow, the place certainly looked bigger on the inside! Scanning around, her eyes met the duo who must’ve created the whole deal, and a handful of other participants.


”Hiya, Miss Peach!” Popo greeted proudly. Peach made her way to her feet, easily able to stand inside the snowy structure. 


“Welcome to our clubhouse!” Nana added in response, happily reaching up to shake the woman’s hand.


”My! Did you two build this?” Peach asked, looking around awestruck.


”Yep!” Both Ice Climbers cheered. “Do ya like it?”


”Like it?” Peach asked, still marveling the whole place. “I absolutely love it!! You two did a fantastic job!”


Both Ice Climbers high-fived again, giddy that the real Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom was impressed with their handiwork. They certainly did clean up nice!


A few other kids were gathered inside, looking up at the adult with wide eyes. Lucas, Ness, Young Link and a handful of Inklings.


”What should we do now?” Lucas asked the rest of the group.


”I think I have just the answer.” Peace answered with a wink.



”Princess! Oh princess! Where are you?” Mario called around the hotel. She’d been missing for quite some time now, even missing the evening dinner. That was very unlike her... and Mario was concerned.


”I donno where she could be, bro.” Luigi said, following close at his brother’s heel. “I-a think we’ve looked everywhere.”


”I don’t know, either, fellas!” The Red Toad who usually accompanied Peach added. “She just told me she was going for a walk, and then she vanished!”


”You shoulda kept an eye on her!” Mario groaned. “I-a swear, if Bowser’s at it again...”


Mario was stopped mid-sentence as he rammed into a structure made of snow and ice. He let out a telling ‘oof’, before regaining himself.


”What in the world...?” The youngest Mario brother asked, feeling the igloo. “Say, ah, Mario? Was-a this here yesterday?”


”No, Luigi... I don’t think it was.” Mario mumbled. Both brothers glanced at the Red Toad, before looking back at one another.


Toad put his hand up. “No, no. I understand. I’ll go first to fufill my toadly duties.” Toad insisted. Without hesitation, the little mushroom began crawling through the entryway.


Mario looked to Luigi before shrugging. “I was-a just gonna ask the guy to guard the exit.”


”Fellas! Come quick!” Came a shout from inside that alerted the other two. “I found the Princess, and the missing kids!!”


”There were kids missing?” Luigi asked. He let out a sigh. “Phew. That’s a relief! At least they’re—“


”C’mon, Luigi! In we go!” Mario yelled, before following after Toad. As per usual, Luigi was the last to cross the threshold... But what he saw amazed him.


Squeezing through the shallow opening, the Mario brothers and Toad were treated to a beautiful sight. The interior was decorated better than most hotel rooms, with beautiful decorations and furniture strewn about here and there.


”Mama Mia.” Mario said, awed. Gracefully, Peach waved to the two brothers from her spot at the dining room table.


”Hello, boys!... I’m sorry to have kept you in the dark, but I was helping the children with their project here!”


The Ice Climbers and their guests all nodded. Each sat at a different spot around the table, with a tea cup in hand. A royal tea party was underway.


The Mario Bros and Toad exchanged glances.



”Ness! Luigi!” King Dedede yelled, searching high and low for his friends. Kirby sat preached on his shoulder. Kirby didn’t help much on the search, but he was good moral support.


”I jus’ don’t got the slightest clue as t’were them boys went!” King Dedede said, absolutely flabbergasted. “It’s like they done gone up in thin air!”


King Dedede was stopped short as he bumped into a large, snowy construction.


”What in the...?” He asked, glancing at igloo before him. “What’s this now?”


Needless to say, King Dedede got stuck.

Chapter Text

Meta Knight sat alone in the main entry, reading from a magizine he had found rolled up somewhere or another. Inter-universal news was always interesting to the lone wanderer. Reading the tabloids, Meta Knight learned there was a fire at the nearby Smash Motel. No one was hurt, but Waluigi was quoted in saying, “I wish I wahs. Living here is a nightmare.”




A presence was made known to the star warrior, his eyes lifting to scan the area. Nothing. He could’ve sworn he saw something or someone move out of the corner of his eyes. Maybe he was just—


Quickly glancing to his left, he met a face full of nose and teeth.




Meta Knight sighed deeply, lowering his magizine slightly. “No, Wario, I have no money to donate to your ‘Charities For Poor Warios’. Leave.”


”Waht?!” Wario asked, a tone of slight offense in his voice. “Waht gave-a you the idea that that’s-a waht Wario wahnted?! Don’tcha remember how we used t’pal around during Brawl?”


”No. No I do not.” Meta Knight answered. “What do you really want? There has to be some sort of alternative reason you’re here.”


Wario grumbled under his breath. Shoot, he’d been found out. Awkwardly, the portly biker rubbed at the back of his head. “I, ah... Pit says-a that Wario need-a more friends...”


Meta Knight looked towards the front counter in time to see Pit ducking beneath the wood. Not the best at hiding himself, Pit was.


”Not interested.” Meta Knight answered, before returning to his magazine.


”C’mon!!” Wario all but whined. “We aren’t-a so different!! We’ve both-a been robbed by the quote unquote ‘hero’!”


”If you’re speakin of Kirby right now, I’ll have you know that he and I are on good terms. Friends, I would consider us.” The knight responded.


”You’re not-a mad at him for-a killin’ your Meta Knights?” Wario asked, which disgruntled Meta Knight even more. Wario looked over his shoulder at his adversary. Pit made a few hand gestures to him that he didn’t understand. “I, uhh... You smell-a nice!”


”Wario. Leave.” Meta Knight commanded, not lifting his magazine. Wario, frustrated, grumbled some curses under his breath. He knew this was a bad idea! Meta Knight wasn’t done, however. “If you’re so desperate for new friends, go try King Dedede. The big oaf is pretty self-centered and very self conscious after being kicked from the Villain’s Club. Word around the hotel is that he wants to overthrow them.”


”Ooo, he’s-a staging a coup?” Wario asked. “Maybe Wario needs to have-a talk with him about it, then!


”Good.” Meta Knight mumbled.


”And you’re-a comin’ with!”


”Wh—“ But it was too late. Wario had already grabbed the Star Warrior by the cape.



“I can’t believe you roped me into this.” Meta Knight grumbled, clutching his sword tightly. “Now I’m too invested to back out.”


”That’s the spirit!... I think?” Pit responded. “I mean, you are friends with the King, right?”


”More or less. Dedede can be a little lazy and self centered sometimes.” The knight shrugged.


”Sounds like-a my kinda guy!” Wario chortled.


”I’m surprised you fat, greedy imbeciles didn’t become friends long ago.” Meta Knight retorted.




Eventually, the trio found the penguin. Lazyily, he was lofting around the pool. Not much of a swimmer himself, he was designated as the babysitter for Kirby. This was a job King Dedede found redundant, being that Kirby literally killed gods for a living, but hey. He had nothing better to do.


He saw the three marching in his direction, and gazed on with curiosity. “Eh? What’s this? I didn’t think there was no parade goin’ on today! What’s the occasion? Is it ‘praise th’ king’ day already?”


”Not quite.” Pit responded. “We’ve come to make a... uhm, a proposal of sorts.”


”Eh? A proposal? What kinda proposition?” Dedede asked. Kirby had come waddling up to the four, his snorkel still on his round face. The pink puffball wondered what was going on, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.


”Wario wanna help you take down the Villain’s Club!” Wario spouted. A moment later, he seemed to remember his manners (however small they may be). “Err... We wanna help.”


Meta Knight leaned over to Pit. He whispered, “He’s learning.”


Pit snorted. “I’m impressed!”


King Dedede’s eyes lit up. “No kiddin’?! You’s bein’ as sound as silver right now?!”


Wario and Pit nodded. Meta Knight shrugged. “If I have to.” The Knight mumbled.


King Dedede cheered. Seeing his friend so happy, Kirby did just the same, bouncing up and down.


”Amazing! Never thought I’d see th’ day!... But... We needs a good group name. Somethin’ that strikes fear into them villain’s hearts. How’s about ‘The Villain Club 2.0’?”


The original trip glanced at each other. “I mean...” Pit began. “It’s... original!... But I’m not much of a villain...”


”Nor am I.” Meta Knight added.


Wario was busy picking his nose.


”Alright, okay. I getcha.” King Dedede mused, a hand going to his beak. “How’s about ‘The Righters’, then?” Dedede asked.


Wario let out a fake snore. “Boring! Lame!”


Meta Knight sighed. “It’s good enough. I don’t have time for this. Let’s go with it.”


The rest agreed.


”Alright!” Pit cheered. “The Righters are here to right the wrong!... but we need some more members. I know! I’ll get Pittoo!”


”I’m sure I can get Ness and Luigi t’join us... Daisy too...” Dedede counted out. His face lit up into a smile. “Put ‘er there, fellas! We’re ‘The Righters’ now!”


One after another, a hand was placed in the circle. First Dedede. Then Pit. Meta Knight. Wario. And lastly, Kirby. With one motion, they all exploded backwards.


And thus, an era of justice was born.


Or, well, a club of losers bent on toppling the villains who had wronged one of their own.


Wario, however, was just glad to be a part of a group. Strangely, it felt... nice, to be included in something...


He’ll keep this in mind for the next meeting of ‘The Righters’.

Chapter Text

Snake took a moment to breathe. Or well, he took a moment to stop his breathing with a cigarette. Placing the tobacco between his lips, the agent lit it up, and inhaled. A rush of nicotine hit his body like a rush of musty air. It wasn’t often he could stand around and simply enjoy what was going on around him.


Not back home, anyway. Not with all the fighting.


He did suppose the fighting here was no different, really. A little less high stakes, but just as precise when it came to combat. He couldn’t run headlong into battle and expect good things to come out of it. No, he played it tactical. Sneaky. And, hey, it seemed to be working for him. 


“You know, smoking’s bad for your health.”


A voice averted him of their pressence, making the man turn on his heel to see just who it could be.




”The one and only.” Marth responded, hands held at his side. It was awfully chilly outside today, but the hero king made due. “Though, my statement still stands.”


Snake twirled the cigarette in his fingers. “So what?” He muttered. “Who cares?”


”We do.” Marth said. “We can’t have you out of the battlefield running out of breath. And that—“ Marth pointed to the cigarette, “—does just that.”


”Doesn’t matter to me. Who from my world would care if I was gone? War’s hell, and I’m just another expendable clone.”


Marth placed his hand on Snake’s shoulder. “I know just as well as yourself the struggles of war, my friend. Perhaps with less technical weapons, but war nonetheless. What’s the point in fighting for something at all if you’re going to waste your life on something like that?”


Snake shrugged, putting the cig back between his lips. “You’ve got a point, hero king. I, however, don’t care. I’m a smoker, and I always will be.”


”Suit yourself, then.” Marth mused, raising his hands up. As he turned to leave, Marth added one last comment. “Though, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to imagine the look on Isabelle’s face when you do.”


With that, Marth left Snake alone.


Damn it, Marth hit him right where it hurt.


Grumbling to himself, Snake, too, headed back towards the hotel.


With a snuffed cigarette butt in the ground.

Chapter Text

"Meatball! Oh Meatball!" Luigi called out for his beloved cat. He'd searched high and low for the feline all day to no avail. It was quite unlike the cat to simply up and disappear like this. "This can-a only mean bad things..." Luigi muttered to himself. From the corner of his eye, he saw a crowd gathered around one of the television sets that broadcasted the matches. Odd.


Luigi inched closer to inspect what had drawn in so much attention. Maybe there was a rivalry match going on today... Perhaps between Cloud and Snake, or something of that like. What graced his eyes, however, astonished him.





Bark! Barkbarkbarkbark!


The duo of dog and bird chased the limber little kitty around the battlefield to no avail. Meatball was like a calico-colored flash of lightning, zooming around the stage with no intention of getting caught.


Much like Luigi was right now, Meatball was absolutely terrified. Hissing wildly, the cat hopped from platform to platform, occasionally taking a swipe at the dog and bird. Duck Hunt was not happy with this, as a clean shot did hit the dog upside the nose.


Duck Hunt growled at the cat, as they had seemed to corner her. Meatball's back arched upwards, claws barred and ready to fight if need be. Everyone in the audience watched on in anticipation, when suddenly...


A looming shadow overtook the duo. Noticing this, the oft goofy dog turned to see his worst nightmare standing right before him.


This battle wasn't a simple one (or well, in Duck Hunt's case, three)-on-one matchup. No, instead it seemed to be a three-person free-for-all. 


Standing right behind the duo was the grinning face of Incineroar. The wrestler Pokemon offered a wave to the two of them, before pouncing.


Meatball watched on from the sidelines as they all duked it out. Lazily, the calico cat groomed her fur, opting to stay out of this one. The two parties battled for what felt like ages for everyone watching. When Duck Hunt seemed to be taking the lead, Incineroar was right there to take the tag team down a notch. This didn't mean the battle was one-sided, however, as there were times that Incineroar became a little too boisterous and cocky, allowing the dog and bird to take the upperhand.


When all was said and done, Incineroar had come out victorious, however battle worn he may be.


Standing at a solid 200% on his final stock, Incineroar approached the very cat he had vowed to protect against that fowl dog. With a shocking amount of humbleness, Incineroar lowered himself on one knee to be on better level with Meatball. In return, Meatball licked against Incineroar's cheek. It was something that could melt the hearts of even the coldest villains.


Pleased, Incineroar turned his back to the calico cat to return to his boasting. As he turned, his swaying tail was exposed to the playful cat behind him. With eyes growing wider, Meatball crouched down, watching the swaying of the object before her. Shaking her backside three times, Meatball playfully pounced on the battle-worn fighter's tail...


... and sent him flying into the great unknown.






Luigi stared at the screen in shock, more confused than anything. "Mama Mia..." Luigi mumbled to himself, a hand going to hit his forehead. "It looks like she's a natural fighter..."


"MEATBALL, WINS!" Came the announcer's voice. For the victory sequence, Meatball simply licked at her paw, before grooming at her ears. "HOLD ON A MOMENT... WHO IS MEATBALL?"


Uh oh.



"It was a mistake, Mr. Announcer! I-a never intended for her to sneak into an actual battle! And then I never expected her to actually win!!" Luigi exclaimed, now sitting in the Master Office. Meatball sat squarely on his lap, snoozing the day away as if she hadn't just breached a major part of the Fighter's Contract.


"YOU DO KNOW THE RULES ON ENTERING OTHER FIGHTERS INTO THE TOURNAMENT, DO YOU NOT?" The announcer asked. He wasn't present physically in the room. Luigi wasn't sure he even had a physical appearance... but his words were freighting nonetheless. 


"She's not a fighter!" Luigi interjected. Such courage with words surprised even himself. "She's-a jus' a little cat! I found her outside my window!"




"I-I don't know how she got up there either... a-all I-a know is that she needed a home, so I gave her one!" Luigi could feel himself heating up. From the anger or the anxiety, he wasn't sure.



"N-No!" Luigi cried, but it was too late. An unseen force had levitated Meatball into the air, and was gradually bringing her towards a machine that was used to bring fighters back to their homelands. "Y-You can't!"


With one last meow, Meatball was brought into the machine, where a bright shot of light encapsulated the feline. Luigi cried out in anguish. He felt as though he might actually cry, too. He fell to his knees, clutching at his heart.


Meatball... was gone.


"NOW, I DO HOPE THIS SERVES AS A LESSON TO--" The announcer was cut short by a meow coming from the machine. As if she owned the whole place, Meatball strutted out from capsule completely fine.


"Meatball!!" Luigi cried happily, opening his arms for his four-legged friend. He laughed, tears of joy springing from his eyes. "L-Looks like this is her home universe!"


"INTERESTING..." The announcer mused to himself. "I WAS UNAWARE THAT ANY BEINGS OTHER THAN MYSELF AND THE HANDS COULD LIVE HERE. OH WELL, YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY. HOWEVER--" An unseen force picked Luigi up, levitating him off the ground. The younger Mario Brother let out a squeak of surprise. "-- A SERIOUS BREACH LIKE THE ONE YOU HAVE PULLED OFF STILL REQUIRES A PUNISHMENT."


Oh no. Oh no, no, no! Luigi's mind put together the two pieces of the puzzle, but couldn't open his mouth to scream out in protest. No! His brain screamed at him. He can't do this! I've been here since '64! Everyone is here!


The machine flickered to life once more, as Luigi helplessly floated along.




NONONONONONONO! Luigi tried to fight back, but it was no use. He couldn't even find the words to scream out for help. Until eventually, he had reached the portal.


With a poof!, Luigi exited the Smash Universe.

Chapter Text

"What do you mean, Luigi is gone?!" Daisy shouted in near hysterics at the intercom. "What did he do that earned him the boot?!"


"HE BROKE RULE NUMBER 13, SUBSECTION B IN THE FIGHTER'S CONTRACT." The announcer responded. The entire Smash Hotel had gathered in 'the announcement room', which was essentially the room the announcer gathered everyone in when some real crazy shit went down. "HE ALLOWED A THIRD PARTY INTO THE BATTLEFIELD, WHO THEN, SUBSEQUENTLY, MESSED WITH THE RESULTS BY COMING OUT ON TOP."


"That's ludicrous!" King Dedede shouted back. "Ain't no harm in a little kitty cat comin' up in here and accidentally winnin'!"


Meatball let out a sad meow, curling up in Daisy's arms. Ever since yesterday, the cat had been rather lonely, and had basically thrust itself into Daisy's care.




"I-I can't believe this..." Daisy muttered, fanning herself with the hand that wasn't holding the last living thing Luigi had interacted with. "I-I... I need to sit down..."


Peach pulled up a chair for her compadre, sliding it up for her to sit in. The rest of the room rose a commotion. However, much unlike Daisy and King Dedede, the commotion was not cries of dismay. Instead, a conglomeration of 'too bad's or 'that really is the pits' seemed to be the air about them.


"Hold on just-a gosh-a darn second." Mario spoke, causing the rest of the room to become quiet. "Also in the Fighter's Contract, it-a states that there needs to be, at minimum, 79 fighters at the conclusion of-a the competition, not including those with-a multiple genders, forms, etc. With out-a my brother, that's only 78!"




A new fighter?! Everyone exploded in talk. Who could ever possibly replace Luigi?! He was one of the original 12!


Everyone looked on in awe and expectation.






Daisy physically gagged.



The hotel was rather gloomy for the rest of the day. Everyone (well, except Wario, who was absolutely stoked to have his partner in crime finally join the roster) was more than underwhelmed by Luigi's replacement. It seemed as if the life the ghost-busting Mario brother brought to the party was all but snuffed out.


Daisy, however, was absolutely pissed.


"We can't just take this laying down." Daisy growled as she stabbed at her food. Meatball nibbled at the meat before them hungrily, letting out satisfied sounds every now and then.


The rest of the table just kind of shrugged.


"What?! Are you guys being for real right now?! That announcer guy sent Luigi home! This is bullshit!" She continued on.


"Well..." Peach started, rubbing at the back of her neck.


"I... We... Uh..." Zelda mumbled.


"I mean..." Dedede piped in, idly poking at his own food.


"We... Don't even know if the announcer has a physical form." Pit finally said. "And he's way stronger than any of us if he did. Combined. Have you seen the kinds of things he can do?"


"I used to be much more powerful." Meta Knight spoke up. "And then bam. He sapped some of my powers away."


"But we can't just let him do this!" Daisy exclaimed. "It was an accident! It's not like Luigi purposely put Meatball out on the field! She wandered there by herself!" It seemed useless to argue. The rest of the fighters seemed to be put off by the idea of putting up any kind of resistance. Daisy angrily bit at her lip to stop the tears of frustration from forming in her eyes. "B-But... Guys... I miss him..."


An exchange was spread around the table. Then, a sigh. King Dedede looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't put his finger on it.


"I... Have an idea." Zelda interjected. "We could get the Hands involved."

"What?! Are you crazy?" Peach asked, her eyes going wide. "What will they do about this?"


"Take our side, hopefully." Dedede said. "It'll be a kinda two-on-one sorta thing, really."


"That's great and all, but what do we do from there?" Daisy intersected. Meatball was pawing at a glass of milk, before bringing it close enough to drink out of. She was lucky she was so cute, otherwise Daisy would've skinned the cat alive already.


"Are we gonna sue the announcer?" Meta Knight asked. The royalty and Pit around him glanced to each other once again.


"I... I think that's what I'm readin' here." Pit said. "I mean, it's worth a shot."


"Who do we get to be the prosecutor?" Dedede asked.


"Isabelle." Peach said. Everyone gave her a shocked or confused look. "What? She does have 14 PhDs. That's 12 more than Doctor Mario, and 14 more than anyone else. One of them has to be in law."


And so, Operation Save The Green Weenie was underway. It would take a few days of planning, of course, but hopefully they would be successful in their endeavors. 


Until then, they would have to deal with Waluigi's bullshit.

Chapter Text

“Of all the assholes in the entire multiverse, why’d they have to pick that one?!” Daisy groaned, gesturing over to Waluigi. He’d arrived by bus only a few hours ago, and just the sight of the purple loser was enough to drive her insane.


That’s the best replacement they could get for Luigi?” Richter said, watching the goofball strut around like he owned the place. “What about Alucard? Or that Isaac fella? Or edgy Sonic?”


”His name’s Shadow.” Sonic corrected the other. “And believe me. With Dark Pit around here, we’ve got enough angst without him here.”


”Hey!” Dark Pit growled.


”What? I’m just stating facts!” Sonic said, holding his hands up defensively.


”Whatever you say, raincoat.” Pittoo shot back at him. If looks could kill, hedgehog would be on the menu tonight.


”Would you two knuckleheads knock that off?” Daisy huffed at them. “We’ve got enough problems without you two fighting.”


”The princess’s right!” Dedede barked, slamming his hammer against the ground. “We gots ta stick together! The Righter’s gotta do what’s right for one ah our own!”


”... The whats?” Richter asked, perplexed.


”The Righters.” Meta Knight said, appearing besides Richter. “It’s a group Dedede formed out of spite for the villain’s club. Unfortunately, I am also a founding member.”


”Me too!” Pit cheered. “And now you all are a part of it! Gotcha!” He clapped.


Sonic, Pittoo, and Richter glanced at one another. Daisy had already been invited, and so had Meatball. Luigi had brought them in after being asked by Dedede to join, and, well... He wasn’t there anymore.


”Fuck no.” Pittoo crossed his arms. “I’m not doing this shit.”


”C’mon!!!!” Pit pleaded. “We need someone like you, Pit—... Erm, Dark Pit! You’ve got that cool kinda confidence about you that we don’t have!”


Dark Pit glanced over his shoulder. “Hmph. I’m still listening.”


The rest of the group (including the newly indoctrinated Sonic and Richter) began shooting praise his way. After a few moments, Dark Pit rose a hand.


”Fine. If you’re going to beg me, I guess I’ll join this shitty club.”


”Awesome!!” Pit cheered. “So glad to have you, buddy!! Can’t wait ‘til Wario hears about this!!”


”Hey, hold on a gosh darn minute here!” King Dedede interjected. “Where the heck is that rapscallion?!”



Naisly laughter filled the hallways, as Wario and Waluigi ran from the scene of the crime.


”Wahahaha! Didja see the look on that swordie’s face?! That’ll teach him ta K.O. Waluigi!” Waluigi chortled. Wario was laughing just as hard beside him.


”Oh my-a god, Waluigi! It’s-a so nice ta have ya back! ‘Bout time yer lazy backside got inta one o’ these!”


Waluigi stopped running. “You-a be careful, Wario, you big-a nosed piker! Do you know how hard I had-a to cheat to get my way in here?”


The two paused, before laughing again.


”Spoken like a true criminal!” Wario chortled, waddling along beside his lanky companion. “Can you-a believe a plant was in-a before you?!”


Waluigi scoffed. “And-a that Daisy girl...” He pauses. “Say, Wario... How is she nowadays?”


Wario shrugged, picking his nose with his freehand. “I donno. Does Wario look like some kinda ladies man ta you?”


”No, no. Not at all, ya pork pie.” The other hummed. “But... nothin’ happened with her, eh?”


”Wahts the matter with you, bozo?” Wario asked. “You talk about that one an awful lot.”


”No reason! No reason. Jus’ wanna make-a sure she’s okay!”


Wario bought that with a shrug. “I donno. From-a waht I hear, she’s with that green guy now. Wahts-a his name again? Louis? Lagumbres? Lasqueegie? The one you hate.”


Luigi?!” Waluigi squeaked in horror. “That spaghetti nosed, socially awkward hack tied the knot?!”


”They ain’t-a married, Romeo! And-a, I donno if you know, but green guy ain’t even around no more! They sent him packin’!”


Waluig paused for a moment to think. “Hmmm... Gone, eh? Ain’t comin’ back?”


”As far as I know.”


A devious grin stretched Waluigi’s face. Wario noticed. “Wario sees a plot in those evil eyes. Spit it out, idiot!”


”Maybe Waluigi won’t be the only one-a to cheat around here...” The purple man mused. “Who could resist?” He pulled a rose from him pocket, and tried to hand it to Wario. Wario didn’t take it, instead slapping it to the ground.


”She’s-a been rejectin’ you for-a so long, it’s second nature, you half-wit.”


Waluigi huffed. “Are you gonna help-a me or not?!”


Wario smiled fiendishly to his best friend. “Count-a Wario in!”


Waluigi was not a good influence at all.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe the madman’s gone. It feels so different around here without him.” Knuckles mused to the other assist trophies. “I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I think I kinda miss the mopy bastard.”


”I don’t.” Shadow responded. “What good did he ever do around here? He took up space and talked too much for my liking. Hopefully that shitty hotel’s got all he wanted and more.”


”Sounds as if someone is jealous.” Alucard said idly. The half-man half-vampire had been snooping on their conversation. It’s not like it could be helped, however. He did have half the hearing of a bat.


”Me? Jealous? Of what?” Shadow growled. “If only one of us could be promoted, I’m glad they got him out of our hair.”


An explosion is heard off in the distance, followed by the fire alarm going of. No one flinched, as Bomberman’s habits had become routine at this point.


”He’s right, you know.” Isaac added. He had come into the sitting area to grab a glass of water, and had heard the whole thing. “You do sound pretty jealous.”


”I’m not jealous!” Shadow snapped. “It’s not like I wanted to spend my time there, anyway! This shitty motel suits me fine!”


Knuckles put his hand on the counter. “Hey, Shadow. It’s fine if you’re jealous only Sonic got that letter! You just have to be happy with where you are!”


”Can we change the damn subject?! I. Am not. Jealous.” Shadow growled. Okay, maybe he was a little jealous of Waluigi. Eegh, just thinking that made Shadow sick.


”Alright, I’ll bite. What do you think he’s doing in there? Obviously he wouldn’t mesh well with the other fighters.” Alucard shot, looking to the faces of his comrades.


”Who knows! Probably nothing productive or good, but hey, probably something!” Knuckles mused.


”I’m sure he’s reconnecting with his old ‘friends’.” Isaac speculated. “He always did talk about how much everyone loved him.”


”That’s all bullshit.” Shadow said. “I competed against him in the Olympics. Even there, he wasn’t as popular as he makes himself out to be. He’s probably doing something to harass someone.”


”I think that is something we can all agree on.” Alucard said. Was that a slight laugh to his voice? Was he softening up? “He spoke of two people quite often, didn’t he? I need some assistance remembering names...”


”Yeah! He did!” Knuckles responded. “Wario and Princess Daisy!”


”Princess Daisy, hmm?” Alucard mused. “Do tell me more.”


”Well,” Knuckles began, “she’s a ruler of Sarashaland. Now, don’t quote more or anything, but I hear the princess has a thing for...”


“... Luigi. He needs you, Isabelle.” Daisy said to the little dog before her. “From what I hear, you’re probably the best of all of us when it comes to the law.”


Isabelle looked up at the other through her spectacles. She’d just finished filing some paperwork when Princess Daisy walked in on her. Even though the Smash Tournament was a relaxing change of pace from her everyday life, work never stopped coming in.


”You want me to be a prosecutor for a case against Mr. Announcer?” Isabelle asked, tilting her head off to the side. “Miss Daisy... I’m very busy, even here at the Smash Tourmament! Just now I’m getting requests from villagers to build a second bridge across the river that flows through our town. I’m not even the mayor, or the construction workers! I’m just the secretary... How can I do that?”


”How are you getting paperwork from across dimensions like that?” Daisy asked, blinking twice in response.


”The mailroom.” Isabelle answered simply. “It’s kind of a two-way system... As long as you mark the letter or package with one of these—“ Isabelle gestured to a bowl full of Smash-logo’d wax seals. “—you can send and receive mail from across dimensions!”


Cautiously, Daisy plucked one out of the bowl. Hm. She always thought they were stamped on, not stickered on. “Crazy.” She thought aloud.


”You’re telling me.” Isabelle said. “But it’s really quite something!! I don’t know how they work, and I don’t know if I could understand... but they do work!”


An idea came to Daisy. In a flash, she was on her feet, which startled the poor dog. 


“Oop! Sorry! I gotta go... Thanks for chatting!” Daisy said, before turning to leave the office. Before she got fully out the door, she turned back to the dog. “Sorry again... But... about the lawyer gig...”


Isabelle smiled. “I’ll pencil it in. We need Luigi back, and suing someone would be a great break from working!”


Daisy smiled. “Thank you so much!!”


With that, the Princess hurried out. She had a letter to write.



Luigi woke up in his own bed in his own house. Oh. Right. For a moment he forgot he’d gotten the boot... and he missed Meatball. A lot.


Groaning, Luigi stretched upward. His back popped with a satisfying noise, and soon enough, he was on his feet.


He let out a sigh, as he dressed and groomed himself. He’d really taken Bowser for granted. Without the giant turtle around to cause havoc, the whole place seemed quiet. Too quiet. He did suppose he could drop in on E. Gad later today... but then again, he didn’t know if he was ready for that kind of craziness today.


Instead, he sadly trudged his way downstairs to make himself a bowl of ‘Mari-o’s’, which, coincidentally, was the only kind of cereal he had in the house he shared with his older brother. The two of them may be heroes, but they sure did live modestly.


Something caught his eye, however, as he went to sit down. Did he have mail? The flag up on his mailbox told him yes.


Heading outside, he opened the mailbox only to see a letter stamped with the ever-so-iconic Smash logo on it. Instantly, his heart rate picked back up. Was this an invitation back to the fight?! Did the announcer see the folly of his ways?! Was this an apology?


What he found inside was even better.


Written in a handwriting he knew all too well was a heartfelt note.


Hey Sweetie!

Been a while, huh? A whole two days, I know. I hope the Mushroom Kingdom isn’t too boring without any parties or sports events going on! Yeah, the rest of us are a little... caught up in something right now... and we all miss you. Me most of all!

So, you got the boot. That doesn’t seem fair at all. But don’t worry! Me and The Righters promise we’ll fix this whole mess right up! I’ve been talking with Isabelle, and we’ve come up with a plan. We’re going to sue the announcer and get you back! Don’t you worry a hair on that cute mustache of yours, L. You’ll be back here before you can say ‘Luigi time’!

Also, on a less positive note... they’ve replaced you... with Waluigi. Disgusting. Hopefully when we win the court case, we’ll get him out of here, too. I don’t know what his deal is, but he seems extra dickish lately. Probably to make up for his ego being so hurt by missing out on the first 4 tournaments. Bleh.

Anyhoo, like I said, you’ll be back before you can bat an eye! 

I miss you, L. Keep the Mushroom Kingdom safe while you’re there, wouldja? And don’t forget to write back! Just attach one of those Smash logos to your letter and put it in the mailbox!! This is important!!!!!!

Love you!

-Daisy and Meatball


Under Meatball’s name was a paw print of ink. A cute touch.


Luigi read the letter again and again, his heart swelling with hope and happiness. They were working to bring him back. He couldn’t wait to return!!


Instantly, he turned inside, Smash logos in hand.


He has a letter to write.

Chapter Text

Pit sighed, his cheeks against his fists. “I can’t believe Wario just ditched us like that! After all the progress I thought I made with him... All... Poof. Gone...”


”Hey, don’t beat yourself up,” Dark Pit said to the other angel. “I’d get sick of you too if I was forced to spend hours a day with you.”


”Not. Helping.” Pit groaned to his clone. “And just for your information, he wasn’t forced to do anything! He chose to hang out with me!”


”Why?” Pittoo asked.


”Probably for the same reason you’re here!”


Pittoo stopped in his tracks. Well, damn. He’d been cornered. With a huff, the dark angel moved to sit beside the other. “Whatever, Pitstain. It’s not like I enjoy this stupid project anyway. I just don’t think it’s right to give Luigi the boot.”


”Oh? Does ‘Dark Pit’, master of edge, actually care about someone?!” Pit teased, nudging Pittoo with his elbow.


”No! Of course not. I hardly knew the guy!” Dark Pit responded. “But, I have to admit... Both Daisy and Dedede’s commitment is inspiring.”


”So you do care!” Pit cheered. “Thought I’d never see the day!”


”Can it, before I make you can it.” Dark Pit growled. Maybe joining this stupid thing was idiotic after all.


Though, as much as he hated to admit it, he did kind of enjoy being a part of a group.


Pittoo nearly vomited in his mouth from that thought alone.






Master Hand seemed to ‘look’ at his brother hand, before returning to the fighters below. “NO, I KNOW WHAT I SAID.”


”Yessir!” Richter yelled back. “He is most definitely out of the games as we speak!”


”Don't you think that’s a little much for a first time offense?” Daisy asked the two of them. Wow, was this office loud. And we’re they in space? This whole ‘multiple dimensions’ thing was hard to wrap her head around. 


“HMM... YES, INDEED.” Master Hand mused, making a motion similar to stroking an invisible, gigantic beard. “HOWEVER. HE DOES APPEAR TO BE FOLLOWING THE RULES, AS OLD FASHIONED AS THEY MAY BE.”


”What?!” Daisy shouted back. “You mean you don’t make new rules for every new tournament?!”








”The talking, floating hand’s right.” Sonic said, turning to the other two. “The Fighter’s Contract this time around is pretty similar to the one I got in Brawl. It’s kinda crazy how little they change in these things from tourney to tourney.”


”Well, don’t you think it’s time for an upgrade?” Richter asked. The Hands exchanged ‘glances’ with one another, before bursting out laughing.


”NO WAY.” Master Hand chortled. “IF IT’S NOT BROKEN—“


”—TEAR IT DOWN AND REBUILD IT!” Crazy Hand finished. Again, Master Hand sighed.


”B-But it is broken!” Daisy interjected. “It was a first time offense... Can’t you at least see where we’re coming from?”


”And, on top of that, he didn’t even consult you guys before throwing Luigi to the curb!” Sonic added.


”Plus, those teleports to the ring should be better equipt to deal with things like this. Even a single door could’ve prevented this whole mess,” Richter stated.


The Hands seemed unmoved and hesitant.


Daisy let out a shallow groan. “Could you at least take out side if we rewrite the Fighter’s Contract? I mean, we’ve been planning to sue the announcer for a time now and—“


”WE KNOW.” Crazy Hand said, much to the shock of the others. “PRETTY SURE THAT XANDER DOES TOO!”


”Wh...? Who’s...?” Richter started.




”AS LONG AS YOU GUYS DO ALL THE WORK!” Crazy Hand added, to which Master Hand shot a thumb back at in agreement.


”Agreed!” All three fighters shouted at once. Reaching out with her hand, Master Hand took it as a handshake. As gently as the disembodied hand could, he shook. It lifted her off the ground, but the deal was sealed.


Daisy and the other two Righters left the Mastee Office, confident that Luigi would be back in no longer than a few days.



Waluigi stomped on the letter he had just taken from Daisy’s mailbox. It had a stupid Smash logo on it, and as far as he could tell, it was written by that big-nosed nobody who’d gotten the boot. Wario was, surprisingly, apprehensive.


”Wahluigi... You-a know opening up someone else’s-a mail is a felony, yes?” Wario asked his lanky friend, to which he received an icy stare.


”Oh, now you’re-a scared of crime! Waht-a happened, Wario?” Waluigi asked.


”Wario met a new friend! His name is-a Pit, and-a he’s a good fella. He even gave-a me the last piece of cake! I aught to-a introduce you to ‘im sometime!” Wario grinned. Waluigi wasn’t as amused.


He held up a shard of the letter he’d just destroyed.


”Which-a onna these Neanderthals is Isabelle?” He asked, pointing to a section of the hardly legible paper.


So Isabelle’s gonna save me, huh? Never th—


The rest of the letter was in tatters on the ground.


Wario felt his spine freeze up at the mention of her name. “O-Oh no, Waluigi... Y-you don’t-a wanna mess with her...”


Waluigi scoffed. “You’re-a going soft, Wario. Take me to her! I-a gots ta speak some sense inta her!”


Wario swallowed hard, before leading on.


This could only end so badly.

Chapter Text

Meatball wandered the hallways of the Smash Hotel. The poor cat had been suffering from bouts of loneliness lately. Even Daisy couldn’t fill the role Meatball desprately desired from a human companion. Sure, she was alright, and Luigi had definitely taken a liking to her. Putting it frankly, however, she was no Luigi.


The Princess and the cat both desperately missed the green brother.


Wandering from the main hallway, the calico cat turned down a less traveled route of the hotel. Adjoining the main hall with a side hall was a hallway that seemed to have no use. In the past, it would have lead to Homerun Contest or Target Blast, but now, it lay barren. Curiously, however, the feline ventured onward.


She was not alone however.


Just behind her were two of the hotel’s most dastardly villains. A chuckle was shared between the two of them. Moving forward, they launched their attack.


Swooping in, Waluigi snatched the cat and threw her into a burlap sack, nearly exploding with glee at his latest catch. “Wahahaha! Look-a like the cats back in the bag, eh Wario?!”


He was too proud of that crappy one liner.


Wario scratched at his backside. “Yeah, yeah, I ‘spose so. Cat never saw it comin’!” Wario mused. His complement was, however, half hearted. Something about this felt... wrong. Doing villainous acts had seemed to lose its luster as of recently, and he couldn’t understand why.


Waluigi, however, was more than happy with his acts. Inside the bag, Meatball clawed and meowed loudly. “Awh, shut your trap, you-a filthy furbag! I’ve-a gotta plans for you!”


The duo walked away with the cat sealed firmly in their bag. Waluigi has a spring to his step, as his plan was being set into motion. Wario was more apprehensive.


Little did they know, however, that a large, feline resident of the Alolan region was watching them from the shadows.



“You-a mean that there’s been-a secret club to-a get-a my brother back in smash, and no one’s told-a me, Mario, about it?!” 


Yeah, that’s pretty much the long and short of it.” Pit said with a shrug. The two of them had met again in the dining area, and decided to catch up on things, for old time’s sake. After all, Pit had saved Mario’s life in Subspace.


”I just-a can’t believe it.” Mario muttered into his pasta. His eyes rose to meet the angel’s. They had a fire behind them that he was well known for. “Where do I sign up?”


Pit smiled. The Righters grew more and more by the day.





”YES, YES, WE KNOW, XANDER.” Master Hand said, holding up a, well, hand to stop the other all powerful being. “HOWEVER, YOU DIDN’T CONSULT ME—“


”US!” Crazy Hand interjected.




The announcer was quiet for a moment. Uncharacteristic of the youngest member of the trio, being that he was a literal disembodied voice.


”... RIGHT. BUT THERE’S NO WAY THEY’LL WIN.” The announcer stated. Both hands ‘glanced’ at each other.




”... DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A LAW DEGREE?” Xander asked.






The hands, again, looked to each other.


”MASTER CORE.” The two said at the same time.




”No, I’m still here!” Came Master Core’s squeaky voice. “I’ll make a great lawyer!”


The annoucer sighed, before clicking off the intercom. This was going to be an uphill battle.



Another day had come and gone for the exhulted plumber. Sleepy beyond belief, Luigi trudged back towards the house he and his brother shared. Sure, it would be nice to retire to his mansion, but, from the kindness of his heart and the absolute lack of interest to be tied back to King Boo and his minions, he’d donated it to E. Gad. The guy lived in a shoe box, for goodness sakes! It was the least he could do!


However, as he came into the walkway, he spotted something in particular that made his heartbeat skip.


The mail flag was up again!


Excitedly, the youngest Mario brother dug in, only to find another letter written by his beloved Princess. Just the thought of reading it made him smile. Today’s troubles would all be worth it.


Humming happily to himself, he moved to sit before the fireplace of the home. With his feet kicked up on the table, he began to open the letter... only to be interrupted by Polterpup.


Polterpup barker wildly at Luigi, before trying to snatch the letter from his hand. It really was in his nature to gobble up anything Luigi had of value, wasn’t it?


”Ay! Ay! Quit it, Polterpup!” Luigi shouted as he tugged at the letter. Getting the message, the ghostly dog did let go... sending Luigi tumbling backwards.


This was why he was more of a cat person.


Grumbling softly to himself, he moved back to his chair. Trotting around like it couldn’t do a thing wrong came the Polterpup, who plopped down into Luigi’s lap.


”You’re lucky you’re cute.” Luigi told the apparition. Polterpup, in turn, gave Luigi’s face a big ol’ lick.


”Yeah, yeah. I know you love me.” Luigi chuckled. “But I’ve got some reading to do, okay?” 


The ghost dog dog got the memo.


Luigi smiled softly. “Thank you.”


Tearing open the letter, he saw that same handwriting as before, and he began to read.


Hey Loser!

I hope you’re getting these letters. I kinda just took Isabelle’s word on the smash logo thing, so I don’t know where these are actually ending up. If you’re not Luigi, quit reading! Opening up other people’s mail is a felony!

Okay, now that I’ve made sure it’s only you reading, I’ve got some... bad news to share. Meatball’s gone missing. No one knows where she went, and we’ve been showering the whole hotel for her. I’m sure she’ll show up again eventually. Maybe she’s just napping in your dresser drawers! I walked in on her doing just that once... it was adorable!

We’ve almost got everything we need to get this court case underway. Your brother even got involved recently! We probably should’ve told Mario sooner, but just today he came to The Righters storming mad, wanting to know why no one told him that this was a thing we’re doing, and what he could do to help. A little over agressive if you ask me, but you know Mario!

Well, it looks like I’m running out of paper. Bummed, really... before I go, I just want to let you know that I miss you a ton, and wish you would write back. I donno if they’ve been getting lost in the interdimetional mail system or what, but I haven’t gotten a single response... maybe this one won’t even get to you.

i hope it did

Love ya, ya dingus.



Luigi read the words over and over again, with a growing concern. Meatball’s gone? She hadn’t been getting his responses? Mario cared about him? His heart thumped harder in his chest, but not from happiness or optimism.


No, instead a dull panic set over him.


He had another letter to write. He jumped to his feet, and went to grab the nearest paper he could, and began to write.


Hey, Daisy—


Chapter Text

—I’m not sure why you haven’t been receiving my letters. Every time I get one from you, I write back as soon as I can. Really weird, huh? How I can get them from you, but you can’t get them back from me? I’m using the logo thingies you sent to me the first time around, and they do disappear from my mailbox... I don’t have any explanation! Maybe the inter dimensional mail carrier is getting mixed around, haha!

I know full well that there may not even be a reason for me to write back if they never come to your mailbox, but I’m beyond glad that you keep writing to me. I miss you and the rest of the Smash Hotel every single day! Even Bowser, which is so strange to me. The Mushroom Kingdom’s a huge snore without him to cause a stirr once and a while!

As for Meatball... I am a little worried. Something must be wrong if you can’t find her anywhere. I hope no one’s done anything bad to her!

I just want to let you know that I’m too grateful for what you’re doing for me. Getting Isabelle to sue the announcer?! That’s crazy! Just the kind of crazy we needed in the hotel!

I know you’ve had your insecurities about being in the roster, but you’ve more than proved it, Daisy! I don’t know what I did to get so lucky!

With lots of love and well-wishes!!



The sarcasm dripped out of the reader’s mouth. He read every last syllable with absolute disgust.


”Can you-a believe this sad-sap, Wario?! Pah! I-a don’t think I’ve had so much sap since we raced on Maple Treeway!” Waluigi laughed. He made quick work of the letter in his hands, reducing it to noting but paper scraps. Without thinking twice, the lanky villain dropped the paper into the garbage.


Wario huffed a few chortles of laughter. His arms were scratched up pretty badly from the ravinous little cat the two of them had captured not but a day before. “Say, Waluigi. Waht’s the plan wit’ that cat we kitty napped? Feetball, or wahtever? We can’t just-a hold the thing hostage...”


”Don’t-a worry, numbskull.” Waluigi instructed. “I’ve-a gotta plan to kill two birds with one stone. Or, should I say, one dog with one cat?” Waluigi burst into laughter, for a reason Wario didn’t understand. Waluigi stopped laughing a few moments later, only to look at his companion. He gave a little shove. “Waht’s wrong? That was funny!”


”Wario didn’t get it.” Wario responded.


Waluigi sighed. “It’ll make more sense when I explain it... You see...”


Meta Knight day reading once more in the main lobby. It was his turn to sit and watch Kirby. Why the rest of the group (excluding Dedede, that is) thought it was so crucial to watch the Star Warrior’s every move was beyond him. He flipped pages in his news paper, hardly realizing something short and pink was walking up to him.


”Poyo!” Kirby exclaimed, holding a sheet of paper for Meta Knight to take.


”Yes, yes. Very good, Kirby,” Meta Knight dismissed. He expected it to be another horrible rendition of himself. Kirby might excel in a lot of things, but art was not one of them. What he wasn’t expecting was for Kirby to push it further at him.


Meta Knight looked up from his paper to look at the pink ball. He was smiling his usual smile, pushing not one, but what appeared to be a stack of papers into his arms.


Curious, Meta Knight folded his paper to take what Kirby was offering. What he saw made his jaw nearly drop through the floor.




Meta Knight flipped through the pages Kirby had handed him. Oh wow, everything was all intact.


Kirby had filed a full fledged lawsuit.


”Oh my gods.” Meta Knight mumbled. “Kirby, my friend, did you file this all on your own?”


Eagerly, Kirby nodded. “Pum, pum!”


Meta Knight affectionately patted Kirby atop his bald head. “Kirby, you continue to amaze me. You do incredible things. I don’t think half the other in here could’ve crafted something like this. You have saved the... ‘Righters’... a great deal of work.”


Proudly, Kirby stood strong and tall. Or, well, as tall as he could.


Meta Knight gestured to the legal document. “That makes it official, then. We’re going with this.”


Oh boy. The question now was when.


”SO, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FIGHTER’S CONTRACT?” The announcer asked Master Core. Master Core, however, was too busy to answer. Instead, it was decorating the intercom the announcer’s voice was coming out of with things to make him appear more human. A tie, a hat, and a pair of mittens decorated the box.


”Huh? Where you talking to me?” Master Core asked, placing a fake, Luigi-esc moustache on the intercom as a final tounch. Ironic.


”I ASKED WHAT YOU KNEW ABOUT THE FIGHTER’S CONTRACT.” The announcer repeated, a sigh to his voice.


”Oh! That!” Master Core said, suddenly remembering. “Absolutely nothing. Never read the thing.”




”Well, I was at the meeting. I didn’t do much, though. And pay attention was one of those things,” The core mused, zipping around the room to tidy a few things up.




”I donno,” Replied the glowing orb. “Raw ambition and charisma? Oh! Also! I can do this!”


The swarm shifted shape. First into Master Beast, then into Master Giant, before changing into a Master Shadow of none other than the hero of the rebellion. Isabelle.




”Huh?” The Shadow Isabelle blinked. Suddenly, her/its eyes lit up. “Oh! Yeah! You’re right! I can totally access everything in here! Okay, let’s see... We have important dates... memories of childhood... Awwwhhh!!!” The core swooned, as he was overtaken from a childhood memory Isabelle possessed.


The announcer gave a sharp whistle. If he had hands he would’ve snapped. “FOCUS, CORE. YOU’RE ON A MISSION.”


”Oop, right, right!” Master Core mumbled, searching deeper. “Mmh... Ooh, fighting style? Don’t mind if I do... Ah, there it is! Little subregion of the mind in here about 14 PhD’s aaaandd... it’s all boring, wow.”




”Yep! Right here! It’s a good thing I didn’t have to take all these classes. Does she hate herself or something? She’s gotta be millions of bells in debt...”


”I THINK THAT’S WHY SHE’S ALWAYS WORKING. REALLY ADMIRABLE IF YOU ASK ME.” The announcer mused. He almost felt bad about using Isabelle as his own lawyer... but if it was the best Core could do, that’s what they’d use.


”Yeah! I’ve got everything you need right here!” Master Core grinned. Swiftly, it changed back into its spherical form. “We’ve got it made!”


”I SURE HOPE SO. I’D HATE TO SEE THE PUNISHMENT THE HANDS’LL GIVE ME IF WE DON’T...” There was a shutter to his voice. Last time he’d made a colossal mess, the two of them turned off the speakers for a week. Utter isolation was no fun.


”Don't you worry, buddy!” Core exclaimed. “They don’t even have a written document declaring their intentions to sue yet! Maybe they’ve changed their minds and decided to live with a Luigi-shaped hole in their heart!”


There was a pause. A longer pause. The announcer finally broke the silence with a sigh.




Master Core ‘nodded’. “Oh yeah. Definitely.”

Chapter Text

Master Core slapped the stack of papers it was floating down onto the announcer’s desk. “I think we’ve got a problem, chief. Looks like they were as serious as a heart attack!”


”... WHO SAYS THAT ANYMORE?” The announcer responded, the intercom springing to life. Master Core had decorated it more fully, adding a cartoon stick-figure body underneath the conglomeration of other accessories. The tie, the hat, the moustache... all the announcer needed was a face and he would be complete.


”Me!” Master Core chirped. It’s tone became serious soon afterward, however. “We’ve got twenty-four hours to respond, or else we automatically forfeit.”




”WELL, AH, YES... BUT WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO MESS WITH SUCH NONSENSE.” Crazy Hand inserted, as he materialized within the room. Master Hand soon followed. “TWO MONTHS?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”


”No, he’s not! You are!” Master Core pointed out. All three of the others let out a deep sigh. “What? What? Was it something I said?”






Both Hands and the Core went silent, thinking for a moment.


”I REST MY CASE.” The announcer responded, smugly.


”HE RAISES A GOOD POINT. FOR ONCE.” Crazy Hand muttered, to the amusement of everyone else.


”HMPH. NO MATTER. CRAZY, COME WITH ME.” Master Hand commanded. Crazy Hand let out an excited squeal.




Master Hand didn’t justify that with a response. Instead, the duo floated outside the hotel to begin construction on  the new courtroom.



“... What are they doing out there?” Make Robin asked Female Robin. He held a mug of hot chocolate in his hand, as he joined the other at the window. The mug had the words “#2 Tactician” written on it. Female Robin had sprung for the “#1 Tactician” mug.


”I... Don’t know.” Female Robin mused, rubbing at her chin. It was fascinating watching Mastee and Crazy hand work. They worked as if they were part of one being, and yet, were distinct and easily recognizable. They scopes out the area like someone would scope out a camera shot. Thumb and pointer finger extended, connected at either appendage.


Suddenly, the two expanded apart from one another, much like the motion someone would use to increase the image size on their Smash Comunicator. Out of literally nowhere, a courtroom expanded, completely built and ready to be used.


Whoa!” Both Robins exclaimed, examining the building that had literally came from thin air. The hands clapped themselves together twice, before teleporting away.


”Is... Is that a courthouse?!” Male Robin asked.


”I think it is... Why would we need one of those?!” Female Robin exclaimed.


King Dedede had just been walking by, when he spotted the two white-haired magic users. “Whatcha gawkin’ at there?” Dedede asked.


The duo pointed at the new building.


”Ah! Looks like them Hands done made us a place t’sue the announcer!”


”You’re doing what?” Male Robin asked, incredulous.


”Yep! We’s suing the announcer for givin’ our buddy Luigi the boot!” King Dedede exclaimed.


Both Robins exchanged a glance. “And you didn’t invite us?”



”Alright, Isabelle. Tomorrow’s the big day.” Female Robin said, addressing the pup in front of all The Righters, bar Wario. Still, he was a no show. “Wether or not Luigi gets to come back to Smash all hinges on your ability in the courtroom.”


Daisy, Richter, Sonic, Dedede, Pit, Meta Knight, Mario, Kirby, and even Dark Pit had come to the meeting... and none of them were dragged against their wills. Everyone was here on their own merit.


Isabelle nodded. “Yes, I am aware. Remember, I do have 14 PhD’s.”


”Yes, but most of them are in engineering, to my knowledge.” Male Robin said.


”That was my major... Law was a minor thing...” Isabelle admitted, rubbing at the back of her head.


”You are our only hope.” Meta Knight told her. “None of us are qualified to run a prosecution.”


”We can all be witnesses!” Pit exclaimed. “That’ll help, right?”


”It will help, Pit. But only to an extent.” Male Robin explained. “Isabelle, you need to find a way to corner them. Explain your points in a way they can’t rebut.”


Again, the pup nodded.


”This is hopeless.” Dark Pit mumbled. “How can we beat an infinite intelligence? There’s no way we’ll win this one.”


”Ever the optimist, eh?” Richter mused, to the amusement of everyone else.


Pittoo scoffed.


”I’m a realist. And I’ll be real with you. Things look a little bleak.”


”It feels so... wrong, that Meatball isn’t here.” Daisy muttered. “Even if she couldn’t understand anything going on, she should be here for Luigi’s sake.”


King Dedede put a gloved hand on Daisy’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry a hair on that head o’ yours, Daisy. That’ll be our next mission! Findin’ Meatball! ‘N Luigi’ll be here t’help!”


”Definitely.” Female Robin said with a warm smile to the rest of the group.


”We got this,” Sonic said confidently. “I mean, after all, we are The Righters. We right the wrongs!... and this is pretty wrong, if you ask me.”


”You’ve gotta point.” Mario agreed. Mario moved to put his hand in the middle of the circle of friends. “I say Righters on three.”


”Lame.” Pittoo huffed. However, as the others began putting their hands in (gloved, nubbed, or just skinned), the dark angel reluctantly went with the group.


It was there that a special bond was felt. It was as if the circle was almost completed. There was only one lanky green member missing.



Daisy? Daisy, are you getting these?


Please tell me you got this one.


What about this one?


I love you, I hope you know that and are getting these letters


Waluigi thumbed through all the letters Daisy had been getting today. A hatred and a jealously burned through him. How did this little, scardy, sniveling prick ever work of the nerve to break it to Princess Daisy?!


”Bah, this asshole’s getting more desperate!” Waluigi laughed, showing Wario the letters. Wario briefly glanced at them, putting them off.


”Should-a we let her have one?” Wario asked. “Just-a to let her know he’s-a okay?”


”Waht kinda food did you eat, Wario?! You’re-a talkin’ crazy!” Waluigi exclaimed. “Listen. Th’ court case on this-a little bastard is tomorrow. Imma make-a sure he doesn’t come back, anyway I can! I’ll cheat, steal, play low ball... And once he’s-a banned for life, the Princess will see the error of her ways, and-a see Waluigi number one!” Waluigi swooned. Wario stopped in his tracks.


”Is that-a waht this is all about?! You’re-a jealous of the less popular Mario Bro?!”


”Waht?! No! Imma not jealous! You’re-a jealous!” Waluigi exclaimed. “Look. I-a hate Luigi with all-a my guts, okay? And-a Daisy?! Falling for him over me?! It’s an insult!!”


Wario grunted angrily. “This is-a bullshit. Why th’ Hell did Wario agree to do this?! Imma done with your shit, Waluigi.” Wario growled at the other.


”W-Waht?!” Waluigi exclaimed, taken aback. “Wario! This is-a for the best of both of us!!”


”No, you-a bully. This is-a best for-a you. You don’t-a even care about Wario, other than canon fodder! Imma done!”


Angrily, Wario stomped away, leaving Waluigi standing, holding an armful of letters. “Well, fuck-a you too, buddy!” Waluigi shouted. He was beyond angry.


To take out this frustration, he began shredding the letters in his arms. “Stupid-a idiot... I-a don’t need him! Imma rig this case all by-a myself! Waluigi time! Waluigi—“


Was it suddenly hotter in here?


Waluigi turned around to see a hulking mass of muscle, flame, and fur behind him.


”Waht do you want, you troglodyte?! Cant-a you see I’m—“


Incineroar picked Waluigi up by the overalls, releasing a startled ‘Wah!’ from the lanky villain.


Closer, Incineroar brought the other to him. His breath smelled awful. Worse than a Wario, for sure.


Waluigi braced himself, as Incineroar brought up a clawed hand. This one was for Meatball, wherever the villain had hidden her.


”Wah! S-stop, you oversized house cat!! Release-a me!” Waluigi demanded. 


Incineroar moved to strike, but stopped as a voice came over the announcements.




If there was ever a thing called ‘saved by the announcements’, Waluigi had gotten that. The moment of distraction was all he needed to push off of the big cat. Stumbling backwards, Incineroar dropped the other, who hit the ground running.


Too bad Incineroar was too slow to keep up.


Gently, Incineroar bent to pick up the pile of letters left at the scene of the crime, salvaging as much of the paper as he could. Some were ripped to shreads, but he pocketed them anyway. He moved to replace them in Daisy’s mailbox.


She deserves to read these, if nothing else.

Chapter Text

Jury duty?!” Snake exclaimed as he inspected the letter he’d been sent. The operator grumbled to himself. “I came to this stupid place to get away from jury duty!... That, and I guess it can be alright sometimes. But jury duty?!”


”Calm down there, buster. You might pop a blood vessel.” Fox mused, patting the other upside the head. “Don’t you worry! Jury duty isn’t that hard!”


”It is when you can’t be agreeable.” Samus shot to her comrades. “Hey, at least it looks like I’ll be in good company in the jury’s section.”


Snake grumbled under his breath again. It looked as though he had no choice but to help out. After all, attendance to the event was required... He, being the well opinioned man that he was, aught to help make the decision.


”Wonder who else’ll be there.” Fox asked, bemused. He hadn’t served on too many courts in his life... but wherever his service was needed, he was there.


Though, this was different from any kind of service he’d provided before. This... was going to be interesting.



”Someone’s been stealing my mail.” Daisy exclaimed to the rest of The Righters, placing the leaters from Luigi down at the breakfast table. The case began in only a few hours. “Look at all these letters! They’re all really desperate... He didn’t know if I was getting them or not!”


Pit glanced over the foreign letters, unable to optain any information from them. “Hmmm... I see. Yep. Desperation for sure.”


”You’re such an idiot...” Pittoo mumbled under his breath, one hand holding his head.


”Who’d wanna stop you from gettin’ them there letters?!” King Dedede asked. “You’s don’t seem to have nobody that even dislikes you!”


Daisy gave an annoyed shrug. “The hell if I know. Your guess is as good as mine.”


Just then, Wario stormed over to the table. All eyes turned towards him. He wore an upset expression on his face, as he moved to sit down. 


“Well, well. Look who came crawling back,” Dark Put mocked. This earned him a cold stare from the plumber.


”Wario’s-a sick of Waluigi’s bullshit.” Wario said simply. 


Daisy scoffed. “Took you long enough.”


 Wario glared at Daisy, as well. Today was not a day to mess with him. “He’s-a been up to some bad things. Really bad. More bad than the jerk usually is.” He grumbled. Wario started to shovel oatmeal into his mouth, as the rest of them watched.


”What kinda bad things?” Pit asked, with a tilt of the head. “He’s only been here for about a week... What kinda trouble could he be in already.”


Wario grumbled a response through his oatmeal.


”Great talk.” Dark Pit mused, which earned him an elbow from his light counterpart. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”


”Now you’re being a jerk,” Pit hissed. “Be quiet!”


”Fine, fine. Whatever.” Pittoo responded.


”Could you repeat that?” Meta Knight asked, more politely than even he was used to. Looks like he was here for a reason.


Wario swallowed down his food, before speaking again. Leaning back on his chair, he began to count on his fingers. “Shoplifting from-a Smashville, mail-snatching, cat-napping, sneaking small amounts of-a poison mushrooms into the food...”


”Bleh!” King Dedede, Kirby, and Pit all said at once.


”Wait, wait, wait. Go back. What was the first thing?” Daisy asked.


”Shoplifting?” Wario repeated.


”No, no, the one after that.” The princess asled.


“... Mail snatching?”


Who’s mail?” She asked. Oh, this wasn’t going to end well. The other Righters began to inch away from the usually flowery woman.


”Erm... It started with-a ton of fighters... But-a then, he saw you were gettin’ letters from that-a one green guy—Languishie or something?— and then it was-a mostly you...” Wario suddenly put two and two together. “... Ooohhh, wait... Now Wario see why you’d-a be upset...”


Upset was an understatement. Downright infuriated would’ve been an understatement. Grabbing a nearby frying pan, Daisy up and left the table with murderous intent.


However, Waluigi was nowhere in sight.


Shortly afterward, Mario rejoined the group, dressed in his wedding attire. Everyone stared at the plumber for a moment, saying nothing.


”Oh my.” Cappy mumbled. “Perhaps we’ve gone too formal?”



If you were going to fool the entire Smash Hotel, you’d have to get up pretty early in the morning.


That was exactly what Waluigi intended on doing.


On the day of the trial, he had escaped to the Hands’s newest marvel in engineering in hopes of skewing the results of the trail in his favor.


Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do to truly rig the case. Too many implications had been put in place... and he wasn’t selected to serve in the jury. However, what he could do was make this Isabelle’s life arguing the case a living hell.


Taking Meatball (who angrily hissed at the purple plumber), Waluigi placed the poor cat within Isabelle’s briefcase, which held all the important documents for the case. Laughing to himself, he replaced it in the spot where the doggie lawyer had had it.


He had other ideas to pull during the actual case, but for now, that should suffice.


”Sweet dreams, you insufferable pest!” Waluigi jeered at the suitcase. In response, he got another angry hiss. “Hope you-a make it for another few hours!”


With that, Waluigi began his waiting.


This trial was going to go up in flames.



With great commotion, fighters began to file into the courtroom. In a few short moments, the trial of “Smashers Vs The Announcer” would begin.


The jury took their seat in the section designated. Few were happy about it.


Pikachu was hardly tall enough to see over the jurors box. Ridley, on the other hand, had quite the opposite problem. Trying to squeeze the giant space dragon into the right section was like trying to squeeze a Great Dane through the doggie door.


”Huh. Look who it is.” Fox said, gesturing over his shoulder to Wolf, who had just made his appearance. “Who thought, out of all of us, they’d choose him to be the most qualified?”


”I’ve got a few questions regarding that one.” Samus grumbled, glaring up at Ridley. Ridley gave his mortal enemy a big, toothy grin.


Simon took his seat right next to Snake, followed shortly after by his descendent, Richter.


”I think we may be playing by a different set of rules than we do in... anywhere else.” Snake commented, kicking his feet up on the edge of the box. “I don’t think Lucas is 18 yet, is he?”


”No, and neither is Little Mac.” Fox responded. “Or Red.”


A female Mii Swordsfighter dressed in the Black Knight’s armor sat next to Ike, who gave her a look. The Mii stared back for a moment, before replacing her weapon in her sash.


”They’re letting Miis in here, too?!” Samus asked.


Snake huffed in response, before moving to light a cigarette. “This aught to be interesting.”


”Do you have to? With the cigarette?” Fox asked.


”Yes. I do.”



Moments later, the courtroom sprung to life. Quite literally. It felt as if the whole building was lifted off the ground, and suspended in the air... because, quite really, it was. It came as a shock to no one that this was the doing if both Master and Crazy Hand, who had appeared from a void in the judge’s “seat”.


”WHAT?! BOTH OF YOU ARE THE JUDGE?” The announcer asked from his spot in the courtroom. He had taken the appearance of an old radio, decked out with all the humanizing apparel Master Core had adorned him with. All except the moustache. That had seemed a little tasteless.


”I DON’T SEE ANYONE IN THIS ROOM BIG ENOUGH TO STOP US!” Crazy Hand shouted back, laughing wildly afterward.


Isabelle had taken her spot, across the way from Xander and Master Core. Odd choice of lawyer. With a self-directed smile, her confidence grew. She had no idea what she was in for, as this was the first time she’d ever met Master Core.




The courtroom of 80+ people remained silent.




The announcer sighed deeply.











Chapter Text

Master Core was beside itself, as the case got itself underway. The prosecution was up first, and Isabelle was doing a pretty thorough job grilling the witness on the stand: Captain Falcon.


”Yeah, I was there when the cat got in.” Falcon mused, his fear kicked up on the railing. “I mean, I didn’t really expect the little critter to sneak on in against Duck Hunt and Incineroar, but lemme tell you. It sure was an interesting fight to watch!”


”Right, of course,” Isabelle hummed. “But where there any preventive measures or obstacles put in place to stop Meatball from hopping into the battle?”


”I didn’t see any meatballs there, no. But then again, how would that stop the cat from getting in?” Captain Falcon asked.


Isabelle sighed. “... That’s enough, Falcon. No further questions.”


”Sweet!” The racer exclaimed, hopping over the ledge and onto the courtroom floor. “I’m getting paid for this, right?”




Captain Falcon let out a groan, before doing just that. “Fine, fine. Bring ‘em on. Hey, you think I could find a good meatball joint around here? All that talk of food’s got me hungry.”




”Of course!” The ball of energy said. Quickly, it floated forward.


”DON’T SCREW THIS UP.” The announcer tried to whisper. However, he was physically incapable of whispering.


”You got it, chief!” Master Core shouted back. A brief moment later, it transformed into Master Beast, and then Master Swordsman.


”What’s that thing doing?” Daisy asked King Dedede, looking on from the audience.


”It's changing form.” The king answered back. “To what, I donno... But... I think it may be trying to...”


He was cut off when the swarm took the form of someone all too familiar. A short dog with her hair up in a bun.


”There’s two of them?!” Snake and Wolf shouted at the same time. For both, it was a dream come true.


Isabelle’s jaw dropped as she spotted the other version of herself. She’d heard of others having ‘dark’ clones of themselves, but she’d never imagined one of herself. “Whoa...”


Captain Falcon blinked from his spot on the whiteness stand. “Okay, now that’s fucked.”


”Please watch your language!” Shadow-belle told the other, a smile forming over her face. “Now, where were we?”



The case continued on. It appeared to have reached a stalemate. Whenever Isabelle would bring up a point, Shadow-belle would bring up a perfect counterpoint, which reset them back to neutral. Back and forth they went, trying to disprove the other on how moral it was to send Luigi packing over what was essentially a minor offense.


Whiping at her brow, Isabelle watched Shadow-belle do her thing. Damn, was she good at this. How could this be fair? She was against herself! It was like a ditto that never ended! Looking around the courtroom, she saw many things. Other Smashers had began to fall asleep because of the subject at hand. Wolf and Snake, on the other hand, couldn’t take their eyes off the action. Odd.


An idea came to her, as she listened to Shadow-belle go on and on about something else. Her briefcase! How the thing had evaded her mind for so long was beyond her! Almost instinctively, she began to rummage around for it, before finding it. However... something was... off. Was it moving? There was definitely a sound coming from it...


Gently, the dog began to open the case... and inside, she found...


Meatball hissed at her, as the case was open. She took a swing out of fear, catching Isabelle above the lip. Isabelle let out a startled sound, as Meatball darted out of the case.


”CAT!” She shouted. It was instinct, really, and she wasn’t the only one. Duck Hunt, Wolf, and even Shadow-belle’s eyes turned to the calico cat that ran over the hardwood of the courtroom.


All four dogs were on it. Barking out, they chased after the poor cat.


”H-HEY!” Crazy Hand shouted after them, as the five darted around. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”


Needless to say, no one was asleep anymore. Waluigi was absolutely beside himself with laughter. Everyone else watched with startled anticipation. The duck tried to stop the dog from chasing, but to no avail. Papers flew. Slobber flew. Everything was in utter chaos.


That was until Master Hand cracked his javel against the stand. Everyone screeched to a halt, all eyes going up to the hand.


With their tails tucked between their legs, Wolf and Duck Hunt returned to their spots, leaving only Isabelle and Shadow-belle in the center.


Shakily, Isabelle stood, brushing herself off. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”


”See?! That cat’s more trouble than it’s worth!” Shadow-belle argued. Meatball strutted along her way, before hopping into Daisy’s arms. Daisy hugged the cat. Despite how annoying Meatball could be sometimes, Daisy would be lying if she said she hadn’t missed her.


Master Hand let out a low growl. Or groan. Sometimes it could be hard to tell with the large, eldric beast. “PERHAPS THIS CASE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH, WHAT SAY YOU, JURY?”


The jury let out a sleepy ‘yeah’.


”B-But we haven’t even gotten to say our final statements, let alone interview all of the witnesses!” Shadow-belle retorted.




“But my client!” Shadow-belle interjected.


”LET’S LET THE JURY OFF ON THIS ONE.” Master Hand insisted. With a snap, the whole jury disappeared, off into the clouds so that they could reach their decision.


Both Isabelle and Shadow-belle sighed.



An hour had past, and then two. It seemed like the decision was taking forever. The Righters had gathered around each other once more, each somberly quiet. They knew this case meant Luigi’s return or eteens banishment.


”I just hope they choose right.” Daisy mumbled, stroking Meatball behind the ears. “I really, really miss that goofy brother of yours, Mario.”


”We all do.” Meta Knight spoke, placing a gloved hand on Daisy’s shoulder. “Fear not. They will choose correctly.”


”Well, not all of us.” Pit said, pointing over his shoulder at Waluigi.


The purple plumber looked absolutely steamed. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to pull off even half of his schemes for this court case. Bah, what a waste!


”I hate that guy. If he’s the one who replaces Luigi forever, I’m going to hurl.” Daisy growled. Meatball shared Daisy’s distaste in the other. After all, the asshole had stuffed her into a briefcase.


”Whattya thinks gonna happen to him if Luigi— when Luigi comes back?” Pit asked, arms crossed and staring at the other. They made eye contact. In that eye contact, Waluigi stuck his tongue out at the other while pulling his eyelid downward. “Wow, he’s really not helping his own case.”


”I hope they stuff him back in that crappy motel.” Daisy huffed. “Doesn’t deserve to be here.”


”Maybe, maybe...” Mario mused, rubbing at his stache. “... But don’t-a you think he’d fit in well here? I mean, we do take him Karting and Partying all the time...”


That was met with a stare from almost everyone in the group. Everyone but Wario, who was busy not paying attention, and Kirby, who was too busy watching Wario.


Mario put his hands up. “Imma just sayin’ there’s room for a redemption arch!”


”... A what?” Dark Pit asked.


”Never mind... Imma jus’ sayin’...”



A few moments later, the jury teleported back into the courtroom, much to everyone’s relief. Samus had been designated as the group’s speaker.


Casually, she stepped up to the plate.


Everyone was on the edges of their seat.


”Your honorable Hands?” She began. “We, the jury of this clusterfuck of a court case find the announcer...


... Guilty.”


Cheers rang up from most of the Smashers, and most definitely The Righters.




Samus shrugged. “We all just kinda miss Luigi.”




Samus glanced backward. The Mii and Ridley looked to each other, and shrugged.


”What took you so long?” Bowser asked the jury. “I could’ve taken over the entire galaxy ten times over in that amount of time!”


”Pikachu’s afraid of heights.” Fox answered. Pikachu nodded in response.




With a snap of his finger, Luigi was teleported back into the realm. He was in his pajamas, and let out a startled yelp as he hit the hardwood floor. Letting out a groan, the disoriented Luigi rubbed at his head, looking around. His vision was blurry... but his ears could hear the cheers all around him.


”LUIGI!” The Righters shouted with glee, charging from their spot in the audience towards the younger Mario brother. They all but tackled the man, hugging him with all their might.


No one, however, held him tighter than Daisy. “Don’t you ever pull something like that again, Luigi!!”


”W-What?” He asked. Things were slowly coming back to him.


Dark Pit hovered outside of the group, looking up at the two hands. “So. You could’ve done that the whole time? And still, you wasted our time with this stupid court set up?”


”YES, WE COULD HAVE.” Master Hand answered. 


“BUT WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT?” Crazy asked in return.


The hands snapped three times each, and with each snap a new person came into being. A bear and bird, a wooden doll, a futuristic set of power armor with a gun, a person made up entirely of blocks, a swords fighter, and a lawyer. Each was confused and disoriented, much like Luigi was, until the hands made a sweeping motion over all six of them, sending them back to their own dimensions.


”... Cool.” Pittoo said.




”Thats cool and all, but what are you guys gonna do about Waluigi now that Luigi’s back?” Dark Pit asked, shooting a look behind himself at Waluigi. The sneaky plumber was pissed.




”So he’s just gonna stay?!” Dark Pit asked, in shock.


”YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.” Master Hand shrugged. “AS FOR YOU—“ Master Hand pointed at Xander. “—I BELIEVE A PUNISHMENT IS IN ORDER. YOU DID LOSE THE CASE, AFTER ALL.”


”W-WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF PUNISHMENT?!” The announcer asked, fearful.


”CRAZY?” Master asked.


”OOO, WITH PLEASURE!” The other hand squealed. Circling around the announcer and Shadow-belle, he pointed once before snapping.


Nothing seemed to happen at first.


”SOME PUNISH—“ The announcer started, before stopping in his tracks. In place of his low pitched, announcer-y voice, was a low rez, high pitched voice. It was a nightmare.


Pittoo burst out laughing.


The two hands high fived, before Master Hand picked up the javel once more.




And with a BANG! of the javel, everyone was returned to the Smash Hotel...


... including Meatball, who rode back in the arms of her beloved owner.

Chapter Text

“So, Bowser,” Ganondorf began, addressing his fellow villain. He rolled the dice for their game of Monopoly, moving his piece (the shoe) around the game board until it landed on the ‘just visiting’ jail section. “You know of this... Waluigi character, correct?”


Bowser offered a shrug to the other. “I suppose so. ‘Know’ is more of a relative term. He’s at all the parties and sporting events in the Mushroom Kingdom.”


”Sounds like a pretty popular guy.” Wolf commented, taking 200 dollars from passing ‘GO’. “Is he some kind of sports superstar? If he’s at all these crazy parties, he’s got to have quite a following.”


”I wouldn’t say ‘popular’.” Bowser responded gruffly. “In fact, other than Wario, I don’t think I know another guy in the whole Mushroom Kingdom who can actually stand the guy.”


”Really? That’s odd. How does he continue to get invited to all of these events if no one likes him?” Ganon asked. The King of Darkness watched as Pirhana Plant moved its game piece (the wheel barrow) ever-so-clumsily around the game board.


”Pity, I guess,” Bowser said, with a shrug. “The guy’s made Luigi his rival. Donno why he’d go after the less popular and less powerful Mario Brother, but hey. That’s life.”


”Luigi’s rival, hmm?” Ganondorf asked. “Must be pretty evil then, right?”


”He does have a knack for fucking everything up.” Bowser explained with a shrug. He moved his own game piece (the dapper top hat) across the board. With a groan, he realized he landed on a spot owned by Piranha Plant. While he was a villain, he wasn’t exempt from paying. He handed the plant his fifty dollars, and the game continued on.


”Sounds pretty pathetic to me.” Wolf mused. “But, so long as he’s been here, he’s been acting pretty devilish. Rumor has it he’s the one who put that cat in the suitcase for the court case yesterday. The hands also reported numerous booby-traps around Isabelle’s spot.”


The second part of Wolf’s comment came out more... sheepishly. The only one who responded with anything was Ridley, who flashed the space pilot a toothy grin. Wolf snarled in response.


King K. Rool let out a low growl as he landed on another spot owned by the damn plant. Begrudgingly, the large croc payed his fine, and the game continued onward.


”That was Waluigi? Typical.” Bowser hummed, thumbing through his money. “Always pulling stupid little pranks here and there. Nothing villainous. Though, there was this one time he stole some rhythm stones or something...”


”Sounds pretty evil to me,” Wolf laughed, moving his game piece (the dog) into the ‘free parking’ piece. Score.


”Sounds about as evil as Dark Pit,” Ridley huffed in laughter. “... But Wolf. You did mention something about booby-traps, yes? What kinds are we talking about? Lethal? Hurtful?”


Wolf flared at the other with his one good eye. “The kind meant to humiliate and harm those who get snared by them.”


”Now that sounds pretty evil.” Ganondorf mused, accepting twenty dollars from Dark Samus. To his surprise, the alien was doing rather well at this game. Both it and the potted plant controlled most of the board. “I wonder what he had to gain from doing all of this, however. Evil doesn’t just act for the sake of being evil.”


”If you’re chaotic you do.” Bowser pointed out. “However, he probably wanted to stop Luigi from getting back into this thing. I mean, they are rivals. Like I just told you?”


”Right. I had forgotten.” Ganondorf mused. A beat of silence passed, before he spoke again. “Do you think we aught to invite the man to join our ranks?”


”Are you serious?!” Bowser asked, taking his eyes off the game at hand to stare across the way at Ganondorf. “He’s never caused anyone back home any real trouble! He’d be more of an annoyance than anything!”


”I’m with Bowser here.” Wolf muttered. “Anyone who’d go out of their way to potentially hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it is too psychotic in my books.”


Ridley rolled his eyes. Is this what puppy love was like? He felt like he was going to hurl. “I say he’d be a perfect fit. He’s already proven himself in the way of villainy. He’s even got an arch rival, just like all of us. Well, except for the plant... But that’s a different case.” 


Cheerfully, the Piranha Plant spun in its pot. Wolf had just landed on another spot it owned. The rich got richer, much to Wolf’s displeasure.


”Why don’t we vote on it? I say this group could benefit from some new blood.” Ganondorf proposed.


The rest of the group agreed.


”Alright, wonderful. Raise your hand if you think this Waluigi character would be a good fit for our group.”


All but three hands went up. Bowser, Wolf, and Dark Samus. To Dark Samus’s credit, it didn’t really understand why the others had raised their hands.


”That settles it, then,” Ridley said, putting his hand down. “Four to three. Waluigi’s in.”


”Are you really going to count the plant’s vote as a vote?!” Wolf interjected. Angrily, the Piranha Plant snapped at the other.


”Yes. The plant is just as much of our group as King K. Rool, Bowser, or you, Wolf.” Ganondorf said. “That settles it. I’ll write the letter right away. As for now I’ve got a game of Monopoly to lose to a potted goddamn plant.”


Bowser let out an angry growl as he landed on another land owned by Piranha Plant. Gleefully, the plant took the rest of Bowser’s money. He was bankrupt.


This was going to be a long game.

Chapter Text

“Master Hand, we have a problem.” Daisy said, crossing her arms as she looked upwards at the disembodied hand. The rest of The Righters watched her flank... and they were joined by a temporary member. Wolf. “The new guy.”




“That’s... not quite what we came here for.” Luigi, resituated into the whole ‘Smash’ idea, responded. “From what I hear, he’s been-a causing a ton of trouble around these parts.”




”What... What did he have planned?” Isabelle asked, tilting her head off to the side. If anyone, whatever Waluigi had planned would’ve affected her the most.






”Is there anything we can do to get rid of him?” Pit asked hopefully.


”Well, Pit. There is one. But it doesn’t exactly align with your morals.” Dark Pit spouted, leaning on his blade for emphasis.


”We ain’t gon’ kill the guy!” King Dedede ravaged. “He’s an annoyin’, snivelin’, schemein’, mail-stealin’ cat-snatchin’ bastard, yeah, but we can’t just kill ‘im!”


”I mean, we could.” Wolf responded. It received negative looks all around. “What? I’m just saying...”




Coyly, Luigi kicked at the ground. “... It’s nothin’. I’mma just happy to be back.”


”Still, though,” Daisy started again, “What are we going to do about that purple pest? He gets on my nerves! He’s always offering me roses and doing that stupid moonwalk thing of his... It’s just so irritating!”


”May I propose another idea?” Wolf spoke. Eyes turned towards him.


”Does it involve murder? No, no, I got it! We’re just gonna hurt him really badly!” Richter joked, nudging Sonic. The hedgehog stifled a chuckle.


Wolf gave the other a look. “No, it does not. Frankly, I’m a little offended you’d suggest that. No, my plan’s a little simpler...”



Waluigi has just finished his matches for the day. Unfortunately for him, not a single one had been a victory. Gee, it’s almost as if most of them were armed with something more powerful than a tennis racket.


Bah, who needed this stupid tournament anyway? At least the rooms were nice... Walking down the hallway, Waluigi approached the door...


... and soon came to realize his room, number 72, no longer existed.


”W-WAHT?!” Waluigi shouted, staring at the vacant spot on the wall where his door used to be.


Angrily, he took to his Smash Communicator.



Waluigi: Waht happened to my room?!


Daisy: Whats wrong? Get lost again? The hotel is huge!


Waluigi: No! My room’s missing!


Fox: How’s that possible?


Waluigi: How the hell should I know? I’ve only been here a week!!


Mario: I’ve been here since the start, and I’ve never heard of disappearing doors...


Simon: Disappearing doors, you say? Must be the work of none other than a demon!


Bayonetta: I’m right here, baby


Richter: Not you, demon. A door-eating demon.


Waluigi: That’s ridiculous!! Where do I sleep?


Kirby:   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Waluigi: F*** off, kid.


Kirby: >:|


Meta Knight: There are the angry eyes. Congrats. You have p***** off Kirby.


Meta Knight: What?


Meta Knight: Since when is p*** a profanity?


Wolf: I hear the garage is rather cozy this time of year.


Waluigi: The garage?! Are you high, space dog?


Wolf: No.


Fox: Yeah, he’s not. I’ve seen the way he types when he is.


Wolf: P*** off. That was one time.


Shulk: C’mon, guys. We can’t have him sleepin in the garage!


Dark Pit: Are you gonna take him in as a roommate?


Shulk: I...


Shulk: ... no. You have a good point.


Shulk: Have a good time in the garage, Waluigi!


Waluigi: Fellas? C’mon!


Waluigi: It smells like goat cheese in the garage...



Wolf closed his Smash Communicator with a smirk. Easy as that.


”And that’s how it’s done.” Wolf hummed to no one in particular.


As he was rounding the corner, however, he bumped into someone carrying a large amount of paper, flinging the stuff everywhere.


”Hey! Watch it, you—“ He started, before realizing just who fate had made him bump into. He made eye contact with those fantastically brown eyes of Isabelle’s.


”O-Oop! I am so, so sorry, Mr. Wolf! I didn’t—“ Isabelle started to apologize.


”No, no... That... that one’s on me.” Wolf apologized quickly. “Here, let me help you out with that...”


Isabelle beamed with appreciation. “Thank you so much!”


The duo quickly got to work, picking up documents here and there and placing them in order to the best of their ability.


When they were finished, both looked at their creation with content.


”You know, I must commend you, Mr. Wolf.” Isabelle said. “What you suggested we do to deal with Waluigi was pretty impressive. You sure do know how to think on your feet.”


Wolf offered a smile to the other dog. “It comes with the line of work I’m in. Gotta be able to think quickly when in a Wolfin.”


”That sounds so cool! Flying around in space like that... much more interesting than my line of work.” Isabelle mused with a short laugh.


Wolf ruffled her fur. “I’m sure what you do is plenty exciting.” He mused. “Now... If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some more plotting to do. If you think this is the worst Waluigi’s going to get for trying to harm you... a-and the rest of ‘em, Luigi, Daisy... You’re dead wrong.”


”That’s awfully kind of you, Mr. Wolf!” Isabelle beamed. “Thank you so much! Have a great day!”


He intended to. With a spring in his step, the Wolfin pilot walked down the hallway.


From the sidelines, the Red Villager had seen it all. He would need to keep tabs on this Wolf character...


Who knew if he was up to any good.

Chapter Text

The garage was not the ideal place for someone to live. Sure, it was cool for some people. He or she could keep their vehicles close by, and even get repairs for their own bodies. Fighters such as ROB and Mega Man were always in and out, along with the ever-present Captain Falcon.


Waluigi, however, was not one of the people who enjoyed the garage. Much less to sleep in.


Everything was cold and drafty. There was a constant stench of motor oil and, strangely, goat cheese. Captain Falcon would never stop defending what he had done to ROB, arguing loudly with whichever sad sap had suggested changing ROB back to normal as opposed to the Falcon-ated monstrosity the robot was now.


In the short of it, the garage sucked for a sleeping quarter.


Even worse than the rest, however, was the fact that the place was open to the public. The plumber was never allowed a moment’s rest in complete solitude. Someone or something was always bugging him.


Karma was a bitch, and Waluigi knew that best.


Was he going to change his actions, though? Hell no.


Why should he? Everyone already hated him. If he couldn’t go down as the best, he sure as hell could be the worst.


As the sky outside began to trickle from dusk to a solid black, Waluigi crawled into his cubby, pulling his too-short-for-comfort blanket up to his knees.


It took a bit to get comfortable on the wood, but soon enough, the mischievous gent was slipping off to slumber.


As soon as he was out cold, the door began to creak open. Slowly, as to not wake the other, the perpetrator snuck into the garage with a dubious intent in their heart.


Finally, after what felt like hours, the other floated up to Waluigi.


Trying her hardest not to laugh, Jigglypuff removed the cap from her marker.


“So, there I was, trying to sneak around the guards.” Snake said, leaning back in his chair. Everyone was enthralled by his story, listening intently. “All of a sudden, all you can here is this... this strange clapping sound. I knew then and there that my cover was blown.”


”Clapping?” Samus asked, “What do you mean, ‘clapping’? Did you purposefully blow your cover?”


”Sounds pretty far-fetched to me,” Falco mused. “What kinda idiot would alert the guards like that?”


”I just wanna know what that clapping was,” Marth said, intrigued. “Did you have some kind of technological mishap? Did your gear fail you?”


”I suppose you could say that,” Snake smirked cheekily. “It turns out it was the clap of my—“


He stopped, staring off at the entrance of the lunchroom.


”What?! What was clapping?! Don’t you leave me hanging, damn it!” Fox groaned. “Snake, you can’t just—“


Fox, too, stooped dead in his tracks. The entire lunchroom fell silent, as Waluigi wandered in.


The silence was instantly recognizable. Waluigi looked around. “Waht? Waht’s the matter with you all? Or do you finally recognize perfection? Wah!” Waluigi struck a pose. 


Everyone burst out laughing.


This simply confused Waluigi more. “Waht the hell’s gotten into you lunitics today?!”


Surprisingly, it was ROB who came forward to help the lanky man. Racing forward (being that that was his only speed now, thanks to Falcon), ROB gave a projection of the man before him.


All over his face were drawings in permanent marker. Drawing of Jugglypuff, a circle around his left eye, a few scribbled lines, and a few more... obscene drawings decorated Waluigi’s face.


He gasped. This made everyone laugh harder.


At that point, Waluigi begame furious. His face grew six shades darker. Due to anger or embarrassment or both is up to interpretation. “You’re all-a gonna pat for this!” He shouted to no one in particular. His voice cracked half way through. Soon after, he stomped out of the room.


Everyone was tickled pink.


I can’t-a breathe!” Luigi wheezed.


Did you see the look on his stupid face?! Priceless!” Daisy laughed.


Across the way, Jigglypuff was receiving compliments and praise for her ‘beautiful’ artworks.


Smugly, Jigglypuff took the praise. Sometimes it was good to be the puff.

Chapter Text

"Richter, my boy, you never did point out to me which one of these people is that 'Bayonetta' woman who continues to instantly message me," Simon spoke to his decedent through a mouthful of roasted chicken.


These words made Richter's throat freeze up. Shoot, Simon was right. The two of them had been with the other Smashers in a large group setting many times since the fateful night Simon told him of his strange encounters of the witch kind.


Awkwardly, Richter scratched the back of his neck with his fork. It was accidental, of course, forgetting momentarily that he had held the utensil in his hand. "Oh, uh, gee, Simon... are... are you sure you still want me to do that? Surely she's moved on from you by now..." He added, a little more spite to his voice.


"Nonsense! How am I to make friends if I don't even know who wants to be my comrade?" Simon retorted. He stared Richter right in the eyes. He was absolutely dead serious about this.


Richter avoided the gaze.


With a sigh, Richter began to scan the lunchroom. The usual scenes played here and there. Mega Man and ROB watched on as their friends ate the food presented before them. Ken was telling a loud story of the time he single-fistedly took down a crime syndicate (citation needed), and the two Pokemon trainers where listening on with disbelieving faces.


"Maybe she's not here," Richter said, his voice more hopeful than anything.


"O-Oh no, she's here," Came a fearful voice from under the table. Both vampire hunters jumped at the sudden voice.


Bumping his head on the wood of the table, Pit let out a low groan of pain, a hand going up to massage his skull. "H-Heh, s-sorry... Couldn't help but hear you guys from... from under the table..." He mumbled, somewhat ashamed.


"What were you doing down there, Pit, my boy? Hiding from some demented, evil monster?" Simon asked the other.


"I uh... I guess you could say that," Pit said with a nod. "Bayo's here, and she's on the prowl!"


"You make it sound as if she's some kind of ferocious beast!" Simon laughed, bemused. This angel sure was a funny one.


"She kind of is," Richter said, rather bluntly. This caught his elder off guard.


At that moment, Bayonetta came swankering by the table the three sat at. Pit, terrified once more, stared intently at a spot on the table. Maybe if I don't move, she won't be able to see me, he thought.


Richter saw the woman walk past, before doubling back. Oh goodness, this could only lead to dreadful places.


"Simon? That woman right there is Bayonetta," Richter told the other with a point. At that moment, Bayonetta appeared beside the table, leaning against it with her hand.


"Good afternoon, gentlemen," Came Bayonetta's sultry voice. 


Simon, with great joy, reached forth to offer the other a handshake. Bayonetta gladly accepted it. "Hello, fine Bayonetta! It is a true honor to finally meet you! Might I say, you are much different from what I had imagined."


"Is that so?" The umbra witch asked. "Is that a bad thing? Should I take offence to that?"


"Not at all!" Simon bloomed with glee. "In fact, I am pleasantly surprised."

"You sure are a flatterer, aren't you?" Bayonetta hummed, gently running a finger along Simon's bicep. "Someone from your day and age really aught to be."


Simon offered a humbled bow. "I am grateful to have met your expectations," The vampire hunter moved to stand. "Perhaps you have already met the others I am seated with? This is Richter, my decedent. I have mentioned him to you in our chats many times."


Richter offered a polite, yet short wave to the umbra witch. The entire time, however, he stared dead at the witch. There was some fire behind those brown eyes. She better not lay a finger on him, or so help him--


She was doing just that. Her fingers continued to trace along the outline of Simon's bicep. "Pleasure to meet you, Richter. From the way Simon talks about you, you'd be quite the catch." She said with a wink.


"Heh, yeah, the girls in my village seemed to think so, until the love of my life was snatched by monsters who don't belong in this world." Richter responded, very pointedly.


"Sounds like someone's still a little tender on the subject." Bayo replied, eyes narrowing.


Taking his goblet of milk, he began to drink. Not before muttering a "Yeah, no shit" first, however.


"Richter! Is that anyway to talk to a treasured guest?!" Simon asked his usually good-natured great-great-great-etc grandson. "I don't know what has gotten into you, or if you know something I don't, but you should treat her with the same respect you give me or Pit here!"


Pit let out a squeak as if he'd been struck at the mention of his name. Other than that, he continued to stare at his spot on the table.


"We aught to go and speak somewhere more... private," Bayonetta suggested. "As not to upset Richter anymore."


"I agree." Simon said. And so, the duo left on their way, leaving only Richter and Pit at their lunch table.


Richter watched the two of them go, before a crushing realization hit him. Almost immediately, his hands were on his cheeks, and his head lowered. "Oh my God... Holy fucking shit..." He groaned to himself.


As if snapped out of a trance, Pit turned to the other. "What's wrong, buddy? Bayonetta's gone!"


"That bitch is going to try and fuck my grandpa." Richter groaned.

Chapter Text

Little Mac stormed through the Hotel, all in a flurry. He had been enjoying a rigorous training session, when he had been interrupted by a certain fiery cat.


Incineroar seemed to purr along as he followed on Mac’s heel. The oversized furball trailed the boxer like a lost puppy. Or kitty. Whichever one preferred. On his shoulder rode Meatball, who also purred with the warmth of the sun of summer. Both cats were pleased beyond belief.


Rounding the corner, he came across (nearly ran into) Samus. On her shoulder rode Pikachu, who had nestled himself happily on her zero suit.


”Wow, looks like you’re quite the cat person, Mac,” Samus commented, seeing the two felines trailing him. Mac shot her a glare. “Is it because of your tuna smell or your milky personality?”


”Milky? What the hell do you—? Never mind, it’s not worth my time,” Mac mumbled, angrily. “All I know is that that oversized fleabag won’t let me be for even a second! Ever since that first fight with Ken, he’s been following me non-stop! It’s annoying!” 


Incineroar rubbed up against Little Mac, who, flustered, pushed the big cat away.


”See what I mean?!” Little Mac groaned.


Samus shrugged, leaning against the wall. Pikachu switched shoulders to compensate. “I donno, I think it’s kinda cute, shorty.”


I’m not short!” Little Mac yelled. Samus was taken aback from the sudden hostility. Huffing, Mac crosses his arms. “Sorry, sorry... I... I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just been a pretty rough day. This idiot interrupted my training. Why? What’s the point?!”


”Cineroar!” Incineroar mewled.


”Maybe it thinks you’re it’s trainer.” Samus offered.


”What?! No, no. Samus, you don’t get it. It didn’t try and work out with me or anything. How could it think I’m it’s trainer? I’m not a trainer! I’m a seasoned athlete!” Little Mac shot back.


Samus rolled her eyes. “Not that kind of training, dude. A Pokémon trainer. Y’know, like Red or Leaf.”


”That’s ridiculous! Ive never seen this muscle-bound cougar in my life!” Mac said.


”You sure?” asked Samus, critically.


Little Mac rubbed at his face with his boxing gloves. “... I’ve never been much of a cat person... Though, last tournament I did find a little red-and-black kitten that seemed too weak do do anything by itself. I mean, it didn’t even grow at all until I started feeding it...”


Meatball let out a meow, licking at Incineroar’s face. Incineroar tried to replecate the meow, but was unable to.


”Mac, that sounds like you found a Litten.” Samus said, raising a brow. “Do... Do you not know how Pokémon work?”


”What? No, I’m not a trainer. How should I know?” He asked.


”Pokémon evolve, idiot! That little cat you found at the last competition evolved into the big burly wrestler who’s cuddled up with that other cat.”


Mac blinked his eyes twice. Oh, now he was confused. But slowly, things began to make sense to him.


”Wait, wait... Does that mean...?” Little Mac turned to Incineroar. “Saracha?! Is that you?!”


Incineroar immediately looked to Little Mac, a smile growing over its face. “Incin!” Incineroar cheered.


That did it. Little Mac rushed to his feline friend, and wrapped it in a warm hug. Happily, Incineroar hugged back.


”Ohmygosh, look how big you’ve gotten!” Little Mac gushed. “And strong, too! Looks like those protein shakes I was giving you really worked out, didn’t they?”


Samus turned to leave, Pikachu riding on her shoulder. Both Pikachu and Samus wore a smile on their face. Looks like some relationships took a little longer to realize than others.


”We did good today, Pikachu. We really did.”


”Pika! Pika!”


The two shared a high five, and continued walking onwards.

Chapter Text

“I-I donno if this is such a good idea, guys... We’re getting pretty far away from-a the Hotel...” Luigi murmured, nervously.


”Relax your ‘stache, lanky! Wario knows where he’s-a goin’!” Wario boasted.


The party of treasure hunters continued on their valiant journey. Amongst them were Alph and Olimar, Toon Link and Link, Sonic, Green Yoshi, the Belmonts, Pit, and both Pokémon trainers, along with their respective three Pokémon each.


”Where are we even headed, anyway?” Red asked. “From the looks of it, there isn’t any treasure this way. Just more bushes and thickets.”


”And these thickets are preeetty thick,” Sonic added. “Probably whip your eyes out if you tried running through them!”


The two Links were hard at work, mowing a path out of the tall grass and tree branches. Thankfully they had instinctively taken to the front, for neither Pokémon trainer had a Pokémon that knew the move ‘cut’.


”Shut up! You gotta trust-a Wario!” Wario huffed backwards. “I-a found a map in-a th’ lunchroom! See?” Wario grinned, taking out the ‘map’ he had found.


Pit took it from the plumber, and began to inspect it. “Hm. Right... Hey Wario?”




Pit gestured to the map. “This map is written in orange marker.”


”Not only that,” Simon said, taking a look at the map himself, “but it has been upside down this whole time!”


”Doesn’t matter!” Wario snapped, “This-a map’ll lead you posers to treasures beyond your wildest dreams!”


”I knew this was an awful idea,” Richter sighed, “Be honest. We’re lost, aren’t we?”


Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. Alph, who wasn’t watching where he was going, bumped right into Olimar, who fell forward. Two purple Pikmin and a red one helped the space captain back onto his feet.


”I... Uhm...” Wario scratched at his cap. Huh. This sure was a predicament. “... Yes?”


“Well. This is how we die,” Luigi said, beginning to feel a creeping sensation of panick coming over him. “We’re all-a gonna starve out here in the woods, lookin’ for a treasure that doesn’t even exist!”


Yoshi watched a bird fly overhead. Speedily, he wasted no time in shooting out his long tongue to eat the bird up. “Bum!”


”Well, Yoshi won’t starve at least.” Leaf pointed out.


“You’re not helping!” Luigi nearly shrieked, “Oh no, oh no. This was a bad idea! A bad, bad idea!”


”C’mon, Luigi, keep it together,” Richter said, placing a hand on the plumber’s shoulder, “We’ll be fine! Trust me.”


Link whistled to the others, grabbing their attention. He motioned for them to come over to him, in which everyone did.


Toon Link pointed out through the thicket.


”Is that a road?” Pit asked, “Why in the world would there be a road in the middle of nowhere?”


”A road? A road!” Luigi exclaimed, suddenly overjoyed. “We’re saved! We’re saved!”


”Wait a second, what’s that?” Red asked, pointing out at a building. “Leaf, can you read what that says?”


Leaf squinted her eyes at the sign.


”I... Think it says something about a Motel...”



”We should do something,” Knuckles proposed. He was getting a little tired of bouncing a ball against the wall for hours on end.


”What would we do?” Shadow asked, beyond bored. On days when there was no fighting, it seemed impossible to find anything to fill all the empty time.


”I donno, just something!” Knuckles huffed. The ball bounced off the wall at an odd angel, smacking him right upside the head. He grumbled, “Ouch.”


”Shadow does have a point. Is there really anything we can do?” Alucard asked. “We’ve nearly run short on supplies. All of our furniture keeps breaking. I’m afraid that if we ‘do’ anything, the whole Motel will collapse in on itself.”


”Who says we need to stay in the Motel?” Krystal asked, coming towards the rest of the assist trophies. “Why don’t we set off on our own for the afternoon? See what kind of fun we can find ourselves.”


”I love it!” Isaac cheered, having overheard the whole thing from inside the (incredibly thin) walls of his room. “I’ll get my cloak, and we can head out!”


”Me as well.” Tiki grinned, “and we’re taking Lyn with if she wants to or not!”


”This is stupid,” Ashley said, her voice as monotonous (and threatening) as ever. “I want in.”


”Well, it’s settled then!” Knuckles grinned. “Let’s head out!”


Shadow let out a low growl. “I guess it’s better than nothing.”


With that, the trophies started out on their own epic quest to defeat the boredom within their hearts.


Little did they know they wouldn’t be alone.



”Whoa, no way! Is that Alucard?! So that’s where they’ve been keeping him!” Richter mused, rubbing at his chin.


”A friend of yours, I presume?” Simon asked his decedent. 


Richter nodded. “That guy saved my life. Without him, I’d probably still be Dracula’s puppet.”


”Oh? That sounds... interesting,” Pit said.


”That’s a story for another time. It wasn’t one of my proudest ones, either,” Richter murmured. “I wonder where they’re all going...”


”Probably where we were, stupid!” Wario exclaimed. “They’re gonna go find-a the treasure!”


”There is no treasure!” Luigi cried. “And if there was, we went in the wrong direction!”


”Holy crap, Shadow? Knuckles?! Hey! Hey guys!” Sonic yelled, before being quickly silenced by the rest of the fighters.


”Shhh! We don’t know if they’re real or if they’re just some kind of AI!” Red explained.


”Y’know, like that Galeem guy the organizers thought would be a good idea and totally-not-screwed?” Leaf added.


”... Ah.” Sonic said, nodding. They did have a point.


Alph and Olimar were too short to see. Yoshi, noticing this, scooped the two of them up and onto his back. Gratefully, the duo gave Yoshi a thumbs-up. Hopefully the dinosaur didn’t see their Pikmin as a delicious treat.


”Well, what do we do now?” Richter asked the rest of the group. “Do we engage? Or do we keep out?”


The rest of the adventurers looked to each other.


A dilemma was at hand.

Chapter Text

The plan was simple. One of the brave adventurers would be sent out to go and speak with the assist trophies, and gauge if it were safe to engage or if it were a better idea to stay hidden.


The only problem was finding a fighter willing to do it.


”I vote Alph,” Richter said. The little space explorer’s eyes went wide, before shaking his head vigorously. 


“If you’re so willing to throw someone else under the bus, then say you should do it!” Leaf returned. Richter, much the same, shook his head quickly.


”Why don’t we draw sticks?” Sonic proposed. Dashing across the forest floor, he picked up a number of twigs, holding them in his fisted hand to be about the same length.


No one else could think of a better alternative.


One by one, each of the Smashers took a twig from Sonic. One by one, each of the fighters let out a sigh of relief, seeing that they wouldn’t have to be the one to go out.


Everyone, that is, except Luigi.


”Looks like you’re up to bat, green man,” Red pointed out, slapping the plumber on the back.


”W-What?! No way! W-Wario’s is waaaay shorter!” Luigi exclaimed, pointing at the other. 


”Quit your blabberin’, baby!” Wario huffed. He held up his twig, which was literally double the size of Luigi’s pathetic excuse for a twig. “Looks like you’re the fresh meat on this one!”


Luigi let out a fearful groan. Used as bait again, was he?



”Careful,” Lyn suddenly spoke out. “I think there’s movement in the bushes up ahead.”


”Do you think it’ll be one of those cute little Pokémans? I’ve always wanted to see one up close!” Isaac wondered, a hand moving up to cup his chin.


”I seriously doubt it,” Tiki said, rolling her eyes. “From what I’ve gathered, they’ve got their own housing.”


”Hmph. And I bet it’s better than the little shit-shack they’ve got us stuffed in,” Shadow grumbled, crossing his arms. “It couldn’t be worse, that’s for certain.”


”Tiki?” Alucard spoke. “Would you like to do the honors of exploring what lies beneath the bush?”


Tiki grinned. “Oi, I thought you’d never ask!”


Transforming into a massive white-and-green dragon, Tiki blew fire at the bush. The thing started aflame, along with the poor soul within it. Luigi cried out in fear and anguish, hopping around to try and put the fire out on his hat. “Ah! Ah! Fire! Fire!” He screamed, waving his hat in the wind.


Krystal pounced on the poor plumber, pinning him to the ground. With one fell swoop of her staff, she froze the fire atop Luigi’s head... and also the top of his head. Now he was shivering. She pressed the staff against his Adam’s apple. “Who are you? And what do you think you’re doing?” She growled.


Luigi, shakily, moved to push the sharp point away from his vital area, before placing his hands up before his face. “I-I... I-I... M... M-My name... L-Luigi...” He stammered out.


Knuckles pushed the Star Fox member out of the way. “Holy cow, Luigi! Dude! What the heck are you doing way out here?! You’re a loooong way away from the Smash Hotel!”


From a different set of bushes, the rest of the fighters came out running.


”Luigi! Luigi! Are you okay? We heard scre—“ Pit’s concerns were cut short with a clonk to the noggin from Crystal’s staff. Down he went like a sack of bricks. The rest of the Smashers seemed to freeze in place, not wanting to meet a similar fate.


”Crystal—“ Alucard started, stopping the blue fox from doing any more damage. “I don’t believe these folk are here to harm us... You can stop with the hostility...”


Begrudgingly, Krystal lowered her staff. It would’ve been a lot more interesting if she was allowed to show them just how good of a fighter she truly was.



It was a short journey, but soon enough, both parties returned to the Smash Motel. They figured it was best to catch up on old times in a place where there wouldn’t be too much interference. From the information gathered, the announcer and the hands only came to the Motel once in a blue moon.


As soon as they got there, however, the fighters noticed the quality of life.


”Dang, you guys live like this?!” Sonic asked, looking at all the broken or falling apart furniture and architecture in the surrounding area.


”Unfortunately,” Shadow replied, shaking his head.


”You get used to it!” Knuckles grinned. “I’m just so glad to have you here, buddy!”


Far off, there was an explosion. The fighters jumped, but the trophies remained silent.


”What was that?!” Leaf asked, concerned.


”Bomberman,” Isaac sighed. “The little guy never does get sick of blowing things up...”


The Smashers looked at each other with concern.



Pit groaned, as the sunlight came crashing into his eyes. Raising a hand, he blocked the sunlight as not to burn his retinas. Where was he...? He tried to sit up, but was kept in place by an invisible force.


Or, well, the hand of Tiki, anyway.


”Hey, angel-boy. You took quite the clobberin’,” She mused. From her pocket, she retrieved a handful of herb, placing it into a cup of tea before mixing it around. “Here. Take a sip of this.”


Pit reached up to take the tea, muttering a weak ‘thank you’, before gulping it down. It was warm, not too hot. Good. He smiled lightly, before resting back on the lumpy couch. “Who... are you?” Put asked.


It was just now that he realized there was an icepack on his forehead. Ironic, really, given the weapon he was smacked with.


”Th’ names Tiki, and I was the one voted to take care of you for now,” The dragon lady said. “I suppose I could ask you the same question, hm?”


”Pit. Like, arm-Pit,” Pit responded.


This got a light chuckle out of the other, before she shook her head at that.


”That wasn’t funny. Shouldn’t have laughed,” She mused.


Pit laughed himself, sending a shock of pain through him. He groaned.


”Sorry, sorry. Bad jokes are what I’m best known for,” Pit smiled.



”So, you two are acquainted, then?” Simon asked, joining Richter and Alucard at the table in the main room.


”Oh! Yeah! Hey Simon!” Richter grinned. “Yeah, this is Alucard! He uh... He helped me out quite a bit way back when.”


”Indeed,” Alucard deadpanned. “If it were not for my efforts, the Belmont bloodline would have died along with him.”


”Oh, fear not. There’s still a chance of that,” Simon jested. 


“Oh, shut it, gramps. It’s not like you’ve got anyone to continue the bloodline with. Who knows. If you don’t get at it, I might stop existing here pretty soon.” Richter shot back.


”Simon Belmont, is that right?” Alucard interrupted. The pale being reached up to shake his hand. “A pleasure meeting you. I worked with your ancestor, Trevor.”


This shocked Simon. “Wait, how is that possible? You know both my ancestor and my descendant?!”


Uh oh. Richter could see this going badly. “Uh, why don’t we change the subject?” Richter proposed.


Alucard rose a hand. “No, Richter. I believe Simon here deserves to know just as everyone else.” Alucard rose his eyes towards Simon. “Simon, I am a decencant of Lord Dracula himself. My mother was the only human he ever truly loved.”


Simon’s blood ran cold, as he stared at the half-monster. “You... You’re the dark lord’s offspring?” Idly, Simon began reaching for his whip.


Richter saw this, quickly latching onto Simon’s Vampire Killer with his own. Sparks flew, as the magic whips came into contact with one another.


”Richter, have you gone mad?!” Simon shouted. “He’s the offspring of Dracula!”


”Half! Half!” Richter shouted back. “He’s half human, Simon!”


”I resent my father’s ways,” Alucard spoke, his voice just as calm as it had been beforehand. “My mother told me not to hate human kind even though they ended her life. I, for one, never cared for the taste of human blood, anyway.”


Simon struggled with Richter for a moment or so longer, before giving up the fight.


”I... Do suppose that if you freed Richter from a dark curse... You must be a friend of the Belmonts.”


Again, Alucard rose his hand. “Friends. Indeed.”


Simon cautiously took it. “... Friends. Yes.”


Richter beamed from ear to ear. “Friends!”


Uneasy friends at best.



“How’s Waluigi doing?” Isaac asked Wario. Wario simply let out a ball against the wall. A hole cracked in the siding.


”Mischevious as always, Wario guess,” he responded. “Though, it’s-a worse now.”


”Really?” Shadow asked, tilting his head to the left. “Hmph. I knew he wasn’t good enough to compete.”


”Yeah, we get it, ‘ultimate lifeform’. You’re jealous.” Sonic teased. Shadow glared at the cheeky hedgehog.


”He tried to get Luigi expelled from the games permanently,” Leaf explained. Alph and Olimar nodded their heads.


”Wow. That’s... cold. Even for him,” Knuckles mused. “Poor guy’s probably jealous of Luigi.”


”Jealous?” Luigi asked. “What’s there to be jealous about? I’mma not that special... Mario’s the one he aughta be moddling...”


”From what I hear, you’re quite the popular one over there.” Krystal commented, cleaning her staff meticulously. “You’ve got all that he wants.”


”Including a happy relationship with that one princess... what’s her name again?” Isaac asked.


”Daisy?” Luigi asked. “Why? She hates his guts. He’s been-a nothin’ but an entitled jerk to her since the day they met!”


”Well...” Wario started, awkwardly twiddling his fingers. “Wario and-a Waluigi used to talk. A lot. Waluigi think he’s-a the best thing to ever happen to the world. Obviously he is stupid, because that’s a me, Wario... but-a Daisy? She showed him kindness to begin with. She’s-a the first to ever do that...” Wario mumbled. Oof. Now he felt a little bad for abandoning his best friend like that...


Luigi’s eyes shifted towards the ground. “... Oh... b-but still!” Luigi’s eyes rose. “That doesn’t mean he should treat everyone over there like dog... dog... uh...”


”Shit?” Shadow finished.


Luigi shot finger guns at him. “Y-Yeah!”


Isaac offered a shrug. “No, you’re right... but... maybe you guys aught to show him some kindness first? Maybe that’ll soften him up?”


The fighters gathered there looked towards each other. 


“I... suppose it’s worth a shot.” Red commented.


”That’s the spirit!” Knuckles smiled.


”Just don’t let him beat you in cycling. He’ll hold it over you forever.” Sonic mumbled, arms crossed.


”Or water polo.” Shadow added.


”Or snowball fights,” Knuckles added.


”Yeah... Waluigi can be a little cocky.” Wario agreed.



Link, Toon Link, and Yoshi wandered the hallways of the Smash Motel. It was considerably smaller than the Smash Hotel, but still had areas that needed to be explored. Their senses of adventure wouldn’t be filled without it!


Turning a corner, the trio came across a (rather large) door. Strange.


Looking at each other, they made a mental decision to open it. That’s what doors were for, right?


The Hero of the Wild reached forward, his hand grasping the doorknob.


Twisting, he was treated to an absolutely horrifying sight.


The moon of Termina sat on the other side of the door, small reading glasses on it’s face. Sitting next to it was Skull Kid, pointing at a book the two seemed to be reading.


Slowly, Link closed the door.



”So I turn around, right? And right there is Dark Pit, absolutely covered in chicken feathers! I nearly bust a side laughing!” Pit grinned, sitting fully up on the bed now. Whatever was in that tea seemed to help his splitting headache.


Tiki burst out laughing, holding onto the arm of the couch as to not fall off of it. “You weren’t kidding when you said I wouldn’t expect the ending!” She grinned back.


”Pittoo was pissed! Oh, you should’ve seen the look on his face! It was priceless!” Pit exclaimed. “I wish I got a picture of it!”


”So, this... Pittoo. What does he look like? He sounds like somewhat of a jerk.” Tiki commented.


Pit shrugged. “He can be a bit of a jerk, yeah. But you just gotta let him warm up to you!” Pit retorted. “He looks like me, except with black hair, black robes, black sandles...”


”Sounds like Shadow,” Tiki hummed.


”Thanks,” Shadow growled, coming towards the duo. At his side was Sonic, who smiled to his angel buddy.


”Hey, hey! Looks like someone got over his coma pretty quick!” Sonic commented. Pit grinned right back


”Oh, for sure! Tiki here’s done a lot help that out! My head’s not splitting anymore.”


”Don't mention it. Just doing my appointed duty,” Tiki shrugged humbly.


”Well, hey. If you’re feelin’ all better, I’m here to tell you that we’re planning on heading out here pretty soon.” Sonic said, crossing his arms. “It’s a long way back, and we don’t wanna be stuck in this dumpster fire overnight.”


”You don’t know the half of it,” Shadow said, rolling his eyes. “The thwomp gets much more active at night.”


”O-Oh, yeah! Sure!” Pit said, moving to stand. His balance was a little off, but overall he was okay. “I’ll be right out!”


”Sounds good!” Sonic hummed, offering a thumbs up. He and Shadow turned to leave.


Pit moved to follow, only to be stopped momentarily by Tiki. “Hey, Pit?”


”Yeah?” Pit asked, turning back to his green-haired companion.


Tiki offered a smile. “You’re pretty alright, you know that? Kinda glad I got put on medical duty today just to meet you.”


”And I’m glad I got whacked in the head!” Pit returned. “Or, well... maybe not. But I’m glad I met you too!”


Tiki rolled her eyes, unable to keep the smile off her face. “Yeah... Well, I guess this is goodbye for now, huh?... Say, do you mind if I write?”


Write? Oh no. Pit’s mind swirled for a response.


”W-Write? Writing sounds like a great idea! I can’t wait to read what you’ve got to say to me!” He exclaimed.


Uh oh. Wrong answer.


Tiki let out a whoop. “Awesome! I’ll keep in touch, alright? See you around, dork! Don’t forget to write back.”


Pit scratched the back of his head, as he, too, turned to leave. “H-Heh, yep! You can count on me!”


He hurried away, quickly catching up to the rest of his group. With one last wave, the group of adventurers headed off back towards the Smash Hotel.


Gods, did Pit wish he knew how to read.

Chapter Text

Rosalina hummed idly, as she stroked the Luma that sat in her lap. The yellow star baby cooed contently, as it simply enjoyed its time in its surrogate mother’s lap. Simply enjoying its time, the Luma scooted closer into Rosalina’s arms.


Smiling gently, the keeper of the cosmos rocked in her chair. Slowly, she could feel the Luma beginning to fall asleep. She was almost there, as well, when the door to her room creaked open.


Lucas, timidly, strolled inside, closing the door behind him. In his hand, he drug his wooden stick behind him. There seemed to be a stormy aura about the boy. His cheer was gone. In its place, there was a tempest growing.


”Lucas, what’s wrong?” Rosalina’s soft voice came. There was an unmistakable calm within it. A calm that couldn’t be matched.


Lucas stood in thought for a second, before shaking his head. Slowly, he turned to leave. “N-Never mind... I-I’m sorry to bother...”


”Oh no, darling. You weren’t bothering me at all,” Rosalina assured the other. In her arms, the Luma was softly dozing. “Tell me what’s wrong... You do seem upset, and I wish to do what I can to change that.”


Again, Lucas stood in thought, before moving away from the door. The shy boy twiddled his thumbs, his stick landing on the floor. 


“T... That mean old Waluigi is at it again,” the boy started. “Me and Ness and a few other kids were gonna play some baseball, and Waluigi wanted to play, too. We let him... and then he took our ball!” Lucas paused. He buried his face in his hands, sitting on the bed on the other side of the room. “I-I’m sorry... I-I donno why I thought you could do about it, b-but I had to tell someone!”


Gently, Rosalina moved to stand. Gently, she placed the Luma onto the bed, before returning to her seat. Gently, she motioned for Lucas to come to her.


Hesitantly, as he often was, Lucas approached. Rosalina motioned for him to sit on her lap in place of the Luma, and he obliged. Rocking her chair back and forth again in that same calming manner as she had before, she gently ran her fingers through the young boy’s hair.


”That sounds rather mean of him,” Rosalina commented. “... but getting angry or upset will not get you anywhere. Lucas? Have you ever heard of the expression ‘kill them with kindness’?”


Softly, the young boy rubbed at his eyes. No tears had come, but it was muscle memory at this point. He nodded against her, enjoying the simple motion of the rocking. “Mhm... I-I’m... I’m a master of PK Love. The magipsies taught me,” Lucas yawned.


Rosalina smiled down at her surrogate son. “Good... As mean as Waluigi can be, you can’t hold a grudge against him. That makes you bitter. You don’t want to be bitter, do you? You are such a sweet little boy...” She cooed.


Lucas shook his head. “Nu-uh.”


He could feel himself growing tired in her arms. The anger and frustration he had had from his ball being stolen was dissipating.


”Try and be nice to him next time you two meet... Who knows? Maybe all he needs is a friend. And you’re really good at making friends,” Rosalina hummed.


Lucas yawned again. Louder this time. With more sleepiness in it. Gently, his eyes fluttered to a close, feeling the warm heartbeat of the motherly figure holding him, and loving every second of it.


”Okay,” He sighed out sleepily. “... momma...”


Lucas fluttered into a sleep, while Rosalina’s heart fluttered in her chest. He had just called her ‘momma’.


Warmly, Rosalina smiled down to the resting boy in her arms. This child deserved the world.


Running her fingers through his golden blond hair one last time, Rosalina herself felt sleep approaching. It had been a rather strenuous day all around.


”Sweet dreams, my angel,” Rosalina hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to the child’s forehead.


And, much like the Luma and then the Lucas before her, she, too, found sleep’s sweet embrace.

Chapter Text

“I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.” Came a squeaky voice from over the intercom. A deep (well, as deep as it could be) sigh was sighed. “... PLEASE, IF YOU COULD ALL MAKE YOUR WAY TOWARDS THE ANNOUNCEMENT ROOM, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.”


”Excuse me? Who’s the newbie?” Wolf joked, nudging Dark Samus. Dark Samus made a whirring sound. Was that a laugh? Wolf would never understand the alien parasite. “Hmph. Tough crowd.”




”We get it, squeaky. We’re moving,” Pittoo responded, standing from his seat in the rec room to make his way towards the announcement room.


Again, the announcer sighed.


”... HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO KEEP THIS VOICE?” He asked Master Core. The sphere manifested itself a pair of arms to shrug.


”Last I heard, the big bosses said you’ve got another week left on you, chief!”



A commotion was amid the group of gathered fighters, just as it always was whenever there was an important announcement to be made. 


“Maybe it’s a new fighter!” Captain Falcon said, his voice filled with childlike hope. 


“Doubt it. Already? We just got the plant, like, yesterday,” Samus rebutted. “I bet it’s some new things they’re bringing to the Hotel. This place could use a few touch ups.”


The commotion stopped as the door to the room swung open. In floated Master Core. It surveyed the room, taking into account who was all here.


”Awright, awright! I get that you’re all excited and whatnot, but you’ve gotta keep it down!” It shouted, much louder than anyone was expecting. “Xan—, er, the announcer’s out sick today, so that means I’ll be giving you all the lowdown!”


”Can be even get sick?” Marth asked, quizzically. “For as long as I’ve been here, the announcer never took a sick day...”


”Er...” Master Core paused for a moment. “Yes! Yes, he can. You’ve all heard his voice, haven’t you? It’s awful!”


”I thought that was-a just a punishment for suckin’ so much at lawsuits!” Waluigi spoke up from the back.


”Can it, stretch. He’s sick, okay? End of story!” Master Core shouted. It paused, before letting out a sound akin to a groan. “Just... let me have this, okay?! The other guys don’t think I have it in me to run any part of this place.”


”Go on! We believe in you!” Isabelle cheered, clapping her paws together. Slowly, a few other Smashers joined. Not a lot, but a few.


That was enough for Master Core to ‘bow’, though. Tipping its body, it appeared to be bending at the half.


”Thank you, thank you!” It said. There seemed to be a smile in it’s voice. “Alright, where were we...?” Master Core asked, looking to the notecards it had packed.


”Hmm... Introduction, tell everyone to shut it... Ah! Here we go! Apparently you all have a sort of... villager week? Oh, no, no... That says visitor. A visitor week is coming up!” Master Core announced. “Each and every one of you will be allowed to invite three special someones from your own universes—universi? I donno— to stay a week here, and see what’s goin’ on! Isn’t that wacky?”


A boom seemed to go on in the crowd. Excitement filled the air as everyone discussed with their neighbor just who they might invite for the week.


Master Core looked out into the sea of universal travelers. “This’ll be next week! Starts next week Friday— Friday? Seems kinda random. Maybe Thursday would be a better fit—Don’t forget! In each of your mailboxes, Master and Crazy Hand have put little request sheets that need to be filled out. Then, the party’s underway!”


A few minutes later, Master Core returned to the Master Office. It was absolutely glowing with pride and joy. “Hey! Hey guys! I did it! I filled in for Xander!” It exclaimed to the hands.


Master and Crazy Hand looked up from their work to acknowledge the existence the little sphere.


”WONDERFUL. I AM PLEASED,” Master Hand hummed, before returning to what he had been working on.


”YEAH, GOOD JOB, KID,” Crazy complimented. He, too, returned to work.


”You hear that, Xander?! I did it!” Master Core beamed. The sphere seemed to grow brighter and brighter.




”Awesome!” Master Core exclaimed.


That compliment did it. Too excited to keep it in any longer, Master Core exploded upwards in a shoot into Master Fortress, covering the entire length and height of the Master Office, and trapping the two hands inside. More importantly, it interrupted their work.


Both hands, with growing annoyance, ‘looked’ at the fortress that had planted itself in their office.


”... Oops...”

Chapter Text

“How did you lose your eye?” Isabelle asked Wolf one day, completely out of the blue. The question shocked Wolf, the question flashing across his face. Suddenly embarrassed by her lack of professionalism, Isabelle swiftly began apologizing. “I-I’m sorry... that was rude of me. If... if you don’t mind me asking, how did you lose your eye?”


A clawed hand pawed upwards towards the space mercenary’s eyepatch. Memories flickered in his head. Softly, his paw traced the scar that had been left on that fateful day.


”Hm...” Wolf started, “It’s... been a while since I’ve thought of that day.”


Isabelle moved to sit beside him on the couch, looking up at the captain of Star Wolf. “I apologize. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to...”


Wolf glanced her way once with his good eye, before opting to stare out the window. It was strange how close the two of them had become over the past couple weeks. Though, would that change if she knew his storied past?


Opening up was a risk that needed to be taken.


”No, don’t worry. It’ll be good for me to look back then,” Wolf hummed, “... No pun intended.”


Isabelle let out a soft sound. Not a displeased one, but not quite a laugh.


“I guess it all happened a few years before the start of the Lylat Wars... I was flying my Wolfin—“



”Leon, Pigma, do you have the target in sight?” A young Wolf O’Donnell asked over the radio. The trio were making landing on a nearby planet, as ordered to by their highest bidder. Mercenaries always did the job that offered the most payoff, despite the risks or potential notoriety. Buisness was buisness, after all.


”It’s in sight, Wolf,” Came Leon’s voice. Glancing to his right, he saw the lizard ahead of him, skillfully navigating through a minefield of asteroids. Typical. Always the show off, that one was.


”Sure do!” Pigma replied, “Clear as day, chief!”


”Good,” Wolf said, approaching the off-yellow planet at an increasing rate. “Do we need to go over the plans again? Or did you finally get it through your thick heads?”


”We got it!” Leon groaned, “You’d better stop stressin’ so much, Wolf, or you’re going to get wrinkles!”


Pigma belched a laugh over that. Wolf rolled his eyes.


”Just making sure. Don’t make me put you into a tailspin.”


The plan was simple. An eccentric billionaire wanted a deal. He’d offered Star Wolf copious amounts of money for them to go and ‘talk to’ a politician on the nearby planet of Katina. He had an agenda to push, after all. Wolf didn’t care for foreign politics. All he cared about was the money he’d been offered.


”This place is going to be armed to the teeth,” Wolf warned. “Even now, I can see—“


”Pigma, watch your six!” Leon shouted, interrupting their commander’s speech.


It was an ambush. They’d been set up.


Pigma was slow to respond, taking a few hits. However, he was soon introducing avasive maneuvers to the mix, escaping their attackers. “I’m hit, but not bad,” Pigma snarled over the intercom. “Let’s give these assholes hell! That’ll show ‘em to mess with Star Wolf!”


Wolf’s fight or flight was in full swing. Ducking and weaving, the fearless, ruthless commander of Star Wolf fought tooth and nail.


”This is the protection squadron of Katina! We advise you turn around before your ships are blasted to smithereens!” A voice shouted. Wolf huffed, taking to his mic.


”If you think we’re about to do that, you’re sourly mistaken, my friend,” Wolf hummed. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. Too much is at stake.”


”You tell ‘em, boss!” Leon cheered, before dodging around a hailstorm of lasers. “But I think these guys mean buisness!”


”We're fine, Leon,” Wolf snarled back. “Be careful, we should be entering their atmosphere right about—“


Now. The gravitational pull of the planet pushed the Wolfins downward, through the clouds and into the greens of the planet.


”I could use some help!” Pigma squealed. “They’re all over me!”


Wolf was quickly there, dispatching the ships that attacked his comrade. He wasn’t shooting to kill, per say. Though, a drop from this height could mean certain death.


”We are warning you one last time! Pull out now!” The voice yelled again.


”Is that fear I hear in your voice?” Wolf asked, tauntingly. “Afraid your whole fleet can’t handle three space crafts?”


”Hahaha! Yeah!” Leon cheered again, blasting down ship after ship. “You guys don’t have anything on Star Wolf!”


Suddenly, there was beeping everywhere inside Wolf’s own Wolfin. Checking the control panel, it confirmed the worst. He’d been hit.


If that wasn’t a kick in the pride.


”Wolf! Are you alright?” Leon asked. The lizard slammed a hand on his control panel. “Bastards! All of ‘em!”


”Lucky shot,” Wolf snarled. “It’ll take a lot more than that.”


His Wolfin rocked, as it was riddled with more shots. Desperately, Wolf tried to stabilize his craft, to no avail. He was losing altitude.


”You’re smoking, Wolf!” Pigma shouted. “Oh, this ain’t good!”


”Can it, Porky. I’ll be fine,” Wolf assured.


He wasn’t sure.


”Lucky shot, eh?” The protection squad taunted over the radio.


”Fuck off,” Wolf growled.


One last shot did him in. Down, down, down he began to plummet.


His last memory before hitting the ground was the Star Wolf boys shouting his name.



From here, Wolf’s memory became fuzzy. He remembered waking up, surrounded by the other two. He remembered being in immense pain. He remembered everything being blurry.


What he couldn’t remember (or rather tell Isabelle) was just how much blood he had lost, or the shards of glass that were all over him. In his fur, in his suit.


In his eye.


He doesn’t remember how he got off the planet, but he does remember that they never did get the job done.


After losing his eye, Star Wolf began to look at him differently. As less of a leader? No... but perhaps less of a person. From there on, he began to rule harsher. He preached the importance of not making mistakes.


He’d seen the effects a mistake could make first hand. 



“... Wow,” Isabelle mumbled, breathless after listening to Wolf’s story. 


“Mm,” Wolf agreed with a nod, leaning over the arm of the couch. He opted not to look at her, instead focusing on the setting sun outside. “It’s pretty hard to pilot a Wolfin with one eye.”


”You’re brave, Wolf,” Isabelle told him, as seemingly out of the blue as the question she had asked to spark the story. This got the mercenary to look back at her.


”No. I’m not brave,” Wolf informed her, “I’m an idiot. I put my team in danger and then taunted the enemy instead of making smart decisions. Hell, maybe even taking the bait from that millionaire asshole was a mistake.”


Isabelle began to twiddle her paws together. “Maybe... but to go through all of that, and then still take the reins as the leader? That’s brave.”


Wolf paused a moment, before leaning back on the couch. 


“Maybe,” Wolf muttered.



In the hallway outside the rec room, Ridley and the red-shirted villager bumped into each other. After a moment of eye contact, Ridley spoke.


”... Did you sense it too?” He asked.


The villager nodded.


”Hmph,” Ridley muttered. Another beat passed. “... Do you suppose we aught to leave them be?”


The villager, almost begrudgingly, nodded.


”He’s an idiot,” Ridley mumbled, before turning to walk away.


Again, that was something both parties could agree on.

Chapter Text

“Hey!” Bowser growled, as the Koopalings darted last him. They were carrying hotel condiments with dubious intent. “You kids better slow down before you get into trouble!!”


Bowser let out a huff of defeat, plopping his (rather heavy and extremely exhausted) body into a plush chair in the main sitting area. Nearby, a fire cackled, warming the room, and soothing the pain. Earlier in the day, as the single father tried to take a nap, his eight little darlings prodded him with an electrical cable. Needless to say, Bowser wasn’t to enthralled with his kids right now.


”Something up, big guy?” 


Bowser turned his head, spotting a blond man in a red gui.




Bowser grumbled something under his breath about his kids.


”’Scuse me? I don’t think I quite caught that.” Ken said. “Looks like your little ones are causin’ quite the racket around here...”


From down the hallway, Mark, the general management for the hotel, shouted at the little demons.


”Don't you put those soaps down the communal toilets, or so help me!” The middle-aged man shouted. Clicking on the communicator (or, well, the high-tech walkie talkie), Mark began to spout orders to his subordinates.


”The turtle kids are at it again.... Yes, I said again! We need all staff towards the communal johns, stat. You all remember what happened last time, don’t you?!”


A stampede seemed to occur, as hotel workers rushed towards where the Koopalings intended to strike.


Bowser sighed deeply. “... I guess you could say that. Though, it may be a bit of an understatement...”


Ken shrugged, moving to sit beside the beastly figure beside him. “Hey, I getcha. Kids can be a handful. Mel’s only three and he’s a big responsibility himself,” Flipping his hand up, he tossed the big brute a can of bubbly soda he’d found in the fridge. “Here, drink that. It’ll help you feel better.”


Bowser muttered a thank you, before fiddling with the opening.


”Ah, that’s right. Here,” Ken said, leaning over to crack open the cold stuff. “Forgot they didn’t really account for your, ah... your pointy bits.”


Bowser shrugged off the comment, opting to drink the soda. It was gone in almost an instant.


”Wow. That stressed, eh?” Ken asked.


”I just don’t know,” Bowser grumbled. “Am I a failure of a father? I try to be there for them as often as I can... But they still don’t have no respect for me!”


Ken shook his head. “No, you’re not a failure. Look at Junior! I can see the way he looks up to you, and I don’t even come from the same universe as you!”


Rosalina, floating her way on past, noticed the duo sitting around the fire. Blinking a few times, her curiosity got the better of her. Even if she wasn’t quite on even footings with Bowser (because, well, he did try to take over the entire galaxy), she was puzzled over Ken’s indulgence of the scaly creature.


”Now, this is an odd bunch,” Rosalina commented, making her way over to where the men were seated. “Ken? Bowser.”


Bowser gave her a brief look, before looking away. Ken, on the other hand, waved cheerfully. “Heya, Rosa!... Bowser here’s a little down on himself, and I’m doing what I can to cheer him up!”


”What’s it this time?” Rosalina quipped, before noticing the genuine sadness the king of koopas emitted. Oh. This was a new side to him. “I apologize... that may have come across as rude. What ails you, Bowser?”


”I’m a failure of a parent,” Bowser shrugged simply, although there was a pain to his voice. “I just... don’t know what to do anymore.”


”Mm, I see... The Koopalings at it again?”


Ken nodded. “Did the stampede of workers give you that impression?”


”Mhm,” She hummed, before turning to Bowser. “Don’t fret, Bowser. They all just wish to grow up just like the one who raised them. They see your rebellious ways and think it’s the best thing ever. Give them time. Children can be a little... strange, at times.”


”What would you know about kids?” Bowser asked, his tone lacking rudeness.


Rosalina shrugged, moving to stand. “A thing or two, I’d say. If you need more advice, you know where you can find me.” Rosalina hummed, before heading off on her way.


”See?” Ken smiled, clapping the turtle on the back. He let out a yelp of pain as his hand hit a spike.


”Sorry...” Bowser apologized.


Ken forced a smile through the pain. “Y-Yeah! No prob! You’re a good dad, Bowser. And you’re the only one these kids got. They’re grateful beyond belief, even if they have a weird way of showin’ it.”


This actually made Bowser crack a smile. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”


”Don’t mention it.” Ken hummed, biting at his bottom lip. He held his hand through his glove, applying presssure. “Though, do you think you can lead me to the clinic?”

Chapter Text

"So. Visitor's week, huh?" Snake mused at his lunch table over a plateful of proteins. "Must be new. I don't know if my memory is just going or not, but as I remember it, we didn't have one of these things during the Brawl era."


"Nope," Fox responded. "We started doing them at the last tournament. They were so popular that Master Hand decided to keep bringing them back."


"That's wonderful!" Isabelle beamed. "I do get a little homesick every now and then when I'm so far from home... It'll be a joy to see Digby again!"


The villagers at the table rejoiced. Each and every one of them adored Isabelle's twin brother as much as they enjoyed her.


"I don't get the appeal," Samus grunted bluntly. "What's the point? We're here to fight. We're here for a reason! We don't need to be bringing in all these extra people for a week! It'll just distract us. Keep us from giving it our all!"


"Sounds like someone's a bit of a tryhard," Falco joked, nudging Fox with his elbow. "C'mon, Samus. You've gotta be a little relieved. We don't have a match every twenty minutes! We get some time to sit back and relax. Enjoy time with our friends and family!"


Samus shot Falco a glare.


Falco rolled his eyes, before returning to his meal. However, something seemed to click in the bird's head. "Hey, wait a minute. The reason you hate visitor week so much is because you don't have anyone to bring!"


"Falco!" Fox groaned.


"What?" Falco asked, not realizing how rude he had just been. "What? What did I say? She doesn't! Have you ever seen her bring anyone over during visitor's week? It's almost like--"


Angrily, Samus stabbed the table with her fork. That got Falco to shut his trap. "Listen, punk. I work alone. What's the point of getting close to anyone if they all die on me in the long run? Adam, my parents, Hell, even a little baby Metroid I made friends with ended up dead. So no. I don't have anyone for visitor's week, and that's just the way I like it. You can take your opinions and shove it up sideways, understand?"


To accompany her last request, she made a vigorous hand motion at the bird, before storming off and away.


The rest of the table sat in shocked silence for a moment or two, before Snake finally spoke up once more.


"... I'm sorry I asked..."



"Lady Palutena! I hurried over as fast as I could once I got your telekinesis! Is everything alright?" Pit asked, out of breath. It was true. He had rushed to the side of his goddess as fast as he could, running full force.


Palutena smiled down at her angel boy, before affectionately ruffling his hair. "How sweet of you, Pit... But I did tell you it wasn't super urgent, did I not?"


"Well, uh, yeah," Pit mumbled, trying to fix up his hair. "... but I though I should hurry over anyway!... What's the news? Something new? Something exciting?"


"No, nothing much," Palutena said. "I just haven't been seeing you much this tournament, and I wanted to talk with you again."


Pit felt his stomach drop a little. Right. He'd been spending so much time with The Righters that he'd somehow completely forgotten about his goddess. "I-I'm sorry, Lady Palutena! It's been so hectic around here and--"


Palutena rose a hand to stop him from talking. "It's okay, Pit. I just wanted to ask you who you planned on bringing over for visitor's week."


Almost instantly, Pit's mind flashed to Tiki. For some reason, she'd been on his mind a bit recently. It didn't help that he received a letter from her in his mailbox just this morning. 


Blinking twice, Pit shook his head. "Sorry, sorry. Lost track there for a second... I donno, probably Viridi, Magnus... uh... Phosphora..."


"Pit, you know I can read minds, right?" Palutena asked, with a tilt of her head. She wore a slight smirk on her face. "Who's this Tiki?"


Shyly, Pit looked to his hands. "Well... Me and a bunch of other people wandered off into the woods a few days ago, and we found out where they keep the assist trophies! I got hit on the head pretty hard, and when I woke up Tiki was there. She's a friend." He told her.


Palutena let out a little hum. "... and she's been writing to you?"


"Mhm," Pit responded, with a nod. "Only one letter so far, though... I think you already know what's wrong here."


Palutena nodded. "Pit? We need to teach you to read."



"Visitor's week, eh?" Ganondorf said, addressing his fellow villains. 


"It's going to be a riot, just like always," Bowser responded sarcastically.


"The concept sounds pretty... interesting," Ridley mused, scratching at his chin. "Having all the space pirates under one roof at the same time? Samus is going to flip shit. And I love it."


"Star Fox better be on the look out," Wolf huffed a laugh. "Star Wolf is going to completely own this place."


The plant snapped his jaws twice. No one knew what that was supposed to mean, so they continued on.


One by one, the villains listed off who they wished to invite. Ganondorf wished to invite both of his mothers, Koume and Kotake. Bowser was in that same boat, intending to invite his adopted father Kemek, and maybe some high-ranking officials in his army. Dark Samus hummed something that no one understood.


"And... what about you?" Ridley asked, gesturing to the man who'd stayed still nearly the whole time.


Waluigi offered a shrug, leaning back on his chair. Even though he'd only been recently indoctrinated into the club, he was already loving it. Who needed Wario or Daisy? Pah! He had all the villains of smash watching his back!


"Eh, my grandmama," Waluigi shrugged. "Imma sure she'd like it here."


"I... didn't know you had a grandma." Bowser said. "I don't really know anything about your family."


"I live with-a my grandmama, idiot! She's always at the sports and karts, cheerin' me on!" Waluigi huffed, crossing his arms. "Jus' be careful. She can-a be a little... Overenthusiastic with her rolling pin."


"Got it," Wolf said, sarcastically. "Watch out for the lanky, old woman with the frying pan."


That got a chuckle from everyone. Waluigi rolled his eyes.


The anticipation for visitor's week was almost strangling.

Chapter Text

Kirby: Pussy! (*´∀`)


Zelda: Kirby! Who taught you that word?!


Fox: Did Kirby just say what I think he said?


Dark Pit: Yeah, I thought I needed to get my eyes checked, too. Nope. Clear as day. That classy b****** said pussy.


Dark Pit: Come on! I thought the profanity filter was off!


Kirby: Pussy!! (≧▽≦)


Bayonetta: That’s not considered a profanity? Hm. The things you learn.


Simon: Why would it be? It’s a synonym for ‘cat’.


Dark Pit: You naive m***********.


Bayonetta: That one is understandably banned.


Zelda: It doesn’t matter! Someone’s been teaching Kirby bad language!


Kirby: Pussy


Zelda: Kirby!!


Isabelle: What’s going on here?


Simon: Kirby keeps referring to his cat.


Zelda: Simon...


Zelda: Nevermind. What I meant to say is that we need to stop this.


Dark Pit: Why? There’s nothing wrong with it. Little guy just wants some pussy.


Zelda: will smack you, Dark Pit.


Fox: She broke out the italics for that one. She’s serious.


Isabelle: I do not understand... What’s so bad about Kirby talking about his pussycat? Doesn’t Luigi have one too?


Zelda: Oh my gods, not you too...


Dark Pit: You’re overreacting.


Fox: I mean...


Kirby: Pussy! 'ㅅ'


King Dedede: Huh. Never thought I’d see the day.


Meta Knight: Don’t you remember that time Kirby learned a new word from... Marx?


King Dedede: Don’t say that name in my house.


Meta Knight: I apologize


Kirby: F***!!!


Meta Knight: Yes, that was the one.


Waluigi: This chat is filled with more filth than usual today. Looking in it makes me want to take a bath to cleanse myself from the disgusting energy it gives off.


Dark Pit: You should. You stink.


Pokemon Trainer Red: Who or what ruined Kirby?


Kirby: Pussy! (ㆁωㆁ*)


Pokemon Trainer Red: ...


Pokemon Trainer Red: I’m not accepting that answer


Falco: Oh s***, pussy isn’t censored in here?


Fox: Falco, no.


Falco: What other words can I say?


Falco: D***


Falco: A**


Falco: *************


Dark Pit: What the h*** was that last one?


Dark Pit: Oh, come on!


Fox: You don’t want to know.


Wolf: Hm. Looks like they did their research when they made the censor.


Dark Pit: Yes I do. That’s why I asked. D******.


Falco: Meet me later. I’ll teach it to you.


Fox: Falco no


Falco: Falco yes!


Lucina: What’s going on here?


Dark Pit: Kirby learned a new word and wants to show it off.


Lucina: Did he? That’s so cute!


Dark Pit: Scroll up.


Lucina: What?


Lucina: oh


Zelda: ‘Oh’ is right! Who corrupted this little guy?


Meta Knight: He’s not been the same since that fight with Zero


Meta Knight: I see you typing, Dedede. I know that joke was tasteless. I apologize.


Lucina: That wasn’t the word I thought he knew...


Fox: He’s full of surprises.


Meta Knight: Just like Megalor


King Dedede: Meta Knight for the love of Popstar


Kirby: Pusy!


Dark Pit: Oh look, he spelled it wrong that time.


Palutena: Those are bold words for someone who has to think for a solid minute on how to spell ‘magician’.


Dark Pit: F*** off, b****. The commander of your army can’t even read.


Pit: Hey! I heard that! You be nice to Lady Palutena!


Dark Pit: The only reason you ‘heard’ that was because you have the chat in text-to-speech mode.


Pit: I...


Pit: Shush!


Dark Pit: The prosecution rests.


Luigi: Sorry to interrupt, but has anyone seen Meatball? We don’t want another... erm... situation...


Kirby: Pussy! (≧▽≦)


Luigi: I... yes, I do suppose she is a... ‘pussy’.


Zelda: Dont encourage him!


Dark Pit: No, do. It’s funnier that way.


Isabelle: I don’t get it...


Bayonetta: You’ll learn when you’re older, darling. And so will Simon, hopefully.


Richter: I swear to God, Bayo.


Bayonetta: What? What is it? Do you want to learn too, Richter?


Richter: Dont be surprised if you spontaneously burst into flames, demon.


Bayonetta: I’m used to the heat. I can take it.


Luigi: Excuse me...? I, uh, still wanna know where my... cat is.


Kirby: Pussy!!!


Dr. Mario: Kirby, my friend. You’d better have protection.


Zelda:  Oh my f***


Dark Pit: Let’s watch the language, princess. We have young, impressionable eyes in the audience.


Simon: Such profanity should be avoided, yes. The dark angel does have a point.


Luigi: I figured it out!


Fox: Figured what out?


Luigi: Kirby’s playing with my pussy!


Zelda:  OH MY F***


Luigi: Sorry sorry sorry sorry!!!!!


Luigi: He’s playing with Meatball!! That’s what I meant!!


Simon: Do those not mean the same thing?


Bayonetta: No.


Simon: May I have an explanation?


Bayonetta: Stop by my room later. I’ll give you the definition.


Richter: Like f*** you will!


Luigi: Meatball seems so happy... and so does Kirby!


Kirby: Meatball!


Zelda: That’s better... thank you.


Zelda: Well, that was a roller coaster. I’m going to go relax in the hot springs to de stress from that one.


Pit: Hot Springs?!?! There are hot springs?!?!


Dark Pit: Can I come?


Zelda: Absolutely not.


Dark Pit: ...


Dark Pit: Pussy


Zelda:  That’s it, f*****


Dark Pit: Oh s***


Dark Pit: What do I do now?!


Lucina: Run, probably.

Chapter Text

Isaac whistled to himself, hands tucked into his tunic as he strolled through the motel. Something felt different here today. It felt a little less gloomy, and a little more... alive? He didn’t know why, but he did know he enjoyed it.


Wandering from his room into the main room, he found a handful of assist trophies huddled around the table. Each of them looked excited. Some to a higher degree than others.


”What’s all the fuss about?” Isaac spoke, as he approached the other assist trophies.


A few in the cast turned to look at him, but none of those gathered seemed to give him an explaination. Isaac frowned at his colleges.


”Hey, serious! What’s going on?” He asked again, louder this time.


”We just got a massive mail dump from the Hotel,” Shadow finally answered. He held up an envelope with the signature Smash Logo printed atop of it. “Important news.”


”No way! Seriously? Lemme see!” Isaac grinned, pushing his way towards the table.


He found, in his searches, nothing with his name on it.


”Bummer,” Ashley monotoned, holding a letter with her name printed neatly on it. “Looks like you missed the boat this time, Isaac.”


The frown seemed to get deeper. “W-What?! You can’t tell me... D-Did all of you get invited to Smash?!”


”Erm, well... not quite,” Knuckles mused, holding up his letter to Isaac. “Here, have a look.”


Isaac took the letter, and frantically began scanning it for important details.



Congratulations! You have been selected to come and visit the luxurious Smash Hotel this coming Friday for visitors week, thanks in part to the generosity of your (FRIEND/Rival/Family Member/Acquaintance/Enemy/Employer) SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. We here look forward to your visit! If you wish to cancel this invitation, please write back promptly so we don’t waste the resources making sure we have enough housing for you.

See you soon!

Master Hand

cRaZy HaNd

The Announcer

Master Core

The Smashers


”Visitors week?!” Isaac asked, befuddled.


”Yes, visitors week,” Shadow responded. “They had them last tournament, too. You never showed up for that one.”


”I was busy, okay?! It’s not that I don’t like you guys, promise!” Isaac assured.


”Sounds like something someone who doesn’t like us would say,” Tiki hummed, flaunting her own letter. “Mar Mar’s got my back! I wouldn’t want to miss beking pampered in the Smash Hotel for a week!”


”Awwwh!! This is such bull!” Isaac groaned.


”Do you know anyone in the actual tournament?” Alucard asked, with a tilt of his head.


”I... Erm...” Isaac stammered. “W... Waluigi?”


”Don’t worry, champ. You’ll be fine.” Krystal said, patting Isaac on the shoulder. “At least you’ll still have the Metriod.”


The Metriod floated by, an invitation clamped firmly by its underside. Looks like Dark Samus had a hand in this.


Isaac groaned again. “This isn’t any fair! What am I gonna do in this deserted craphole for a week all by myself?!”


”Don’t you worry, fella,” Dylan said, rolling up. “Didn’t get one, neither. Looks like it’s jus’ gonna be you, me, and that Thwompin’ boy we got terrorizin’ the place.”


Isaac groaned again. Burying his hands in his hair.


”Don’t worry, Isaac!” Nikki chirped in, trying to comfort her friend. “We’ll be sure to write to you while we’re away! It’ll be like we’re right here next to you!”


”Not you too, Nikki!” Isaac exclaimed. This exclusion made his stomach churn.


Almost shyly, Nikki held up her own letter. A specific Mii Swordsfighter had invited her. “I’m afraid so.”


”Suck it up,” Shadow said. “You’ll be fine.”


”Says you! I’m still stuck in this crapshack while you guys get to live it up in the Hotel!”


”Just walk there,” Tiki suggested. “It’s not that far away, really. You’d blend in with the rest of us, really. Just... attach yourself to a fighter and stick by their side. Try Pit. You two look kinda similar... I could see you two coming from the same dimension.”


”Won’t they know?” Isaac asked.


”They?” Knuckles started. A moment passed, before he understood. “Ohhhh... Okay, yeah. I gotcha. Those hand guys you fellas keep telling me about.”


Tiki shrugged. “It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”


Isaac blinked a few times, before feeling confident. “Right! You’re right! It is worth a try!... Who’s Pit?”


”The cute little angel boy who can’t fly!” Phosphora chirped up. “He’s got an edgy counterpart, too! Kinda like Shadow, but waaaayyyy hotter!”


Shadow growled at the goddess, but otherwise remained unmoved. Tiki rolled her eyes.


”Yeah. That one.” She explained.


”Right.” Isaac said, not understanding at all.


Cute angel boy who can’t fly. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.


Isaac, however, was good under impossible odds.


Sheriff booped past, holding a letter from Mr. Game and Watch.


Sheriff got a letter and I didn’t?!” Isaac shouted.


When would the injustice end? 

Chapter Text

“No, no! Turn that way!” Daisy instructed from inside the shopping cart. “C’mon, Luigi! We’re gonna lose!”


Luigi buckled to a stop, quickly turning on his heel to redirect that cart in the right direction. Meatball lazily licks herself from inside the baby-holder, paying no mind to the antics of her owners.


In what seems like a world away, Peach and Mario are having quite the same issue.


”Ach, we missed it!” Mario groans, gesturing to the sheet of paper in his hands. On it there is a very specific set of instructions. Mario lays back in the cart Peach is pushing. “We gotta go back!”


It was a novel idea, really. Relive their karting days in one of the stores in Smashville. It was somewhat of an unofficial double date of sorts. If anything, it killed two birds with one stone. Smashers from all around the hotel had requested things for this, and Luigi and Daisy challenged Mario and Peach to see who could collect the most. It was a challenge the other notable duo couldn’t pass up.


Luigi and Daisy were nearing the end of their list. Only a specific few items remained between them and victory.


”There!” Daisy shouted, pointing to a high-up shelf. Luigi skidded to a stop, looking off to where his girlfriend was pointing.


She was right. Clear as day sat a fresh new container of mask-cleanse. This item was requested by none other than Meta Knight. Standing in the cart, Daisy reached upward to get it, while Luigi remained behind, making sure the shopping cart didn’t move.


That, however, didn’t account for how clumsy Daisy was. She lost her balance pretty quickly.


”W-Whoa!” She shouted, missing the coveted item by just a few finger lengths.


”Careful!” Luigi shouted in response. His warning was too late, however, as the princess began to topple over backward. Luigi was quick to act, nearly diving with the grace of a professional baseball player. Daisy landed heavily in his arms, and with a fell ‘whoomph’, both fell to the ground.


Daisy let out a giggle, and Luigi did just the same. “My hero~” She teased, poking Luigi’s large, round nose. A blush quickly spread over the shy plumber’s cheeks.


”T-That’s what I’m here for!” Luigi responded, half-confidently. Playfully, Daisy rolled her eyes at him.


”Alright, loverboy. That was just a little spin-out! This double dash still has a contest to win!” She cheered. “I call dibs on driving this time!”


With another laugh, Luigi hopped into the inner part of the cart. Meatball meowed lazily.


”What’re you waiting for?” Luigi asked.


Daisy pointed to the mask cleaner.


”Ah, right.”



It only only took about an hour for the two lovely duos to meet at the checkout. Both karts were overflowing with requested items.


”Lookin’ a little short, there, Mario, and I don’t just mean the height!” Daisy teased, sticking her tongue out at the other.


”I think you’re the one who should be worried, Daisy,” Peach hummed in response. “Mario and I had quite the rythmn going on.”


”Rythmn doesn’t mean anything if the beat sucks!” Daisy shot back.


The fight was on. Mario and Luigi exchanged a glance. Neither brother had quite the competitive edge of the women who accompanied them.



”So? Who won?” Peach asked, as the two of them were done. The four of them were out of their carts and walking now, joined by a number of other fighters who had tagged along to see the spectacle.


”Save her the effort and just give me the good news,” Daisy mused confidently. There was no way she and Luigi could’ve possibly lost!


Mega Man gave Chrom a glance, who then shot one to Ryu.


”Neither of you,” Mega Man answered.


”What?!” Both Peach and Daisy asked. “How’s that work?!”


Across the way, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong hooted and hollered. Donkey Kong still pushed the shopping cart filled to the brim with requested items. With their combined efforts, the two Kongs more than doubled the efforts of the Princesses and their plumbers.


”That’s how,” Ryu responded, as everyone looked at the two apes dumbfounded.


”Those guys where in and out quicker than you’d think,” Chrom added. “Can they even read the list?”


”Damn it!” Daisy cursed.


”That just doesn’t seem fair,” Peach huffed.


Luigi and Mario once more exchanged glances. Meatball trotted along beside the two plumbers, who made up the rear of the group.


”I mean, I-a thought we did a good job...” Luigi shrugged.


”Me too,” Mario said. “Peach, you did a wonderful job pushin’ the cart!”


”Not good enough, aparently,” Daisy groaned.


”Rematch us,” Peach insisted. “Tomorrow. No, no. The day afterward. We have to do some practicing.”


Daisy and Peach locked eyes, and shared a competitive stare.


”Oh, you are so on!”


”Mama mia...” Both Mario brothers said, exhausted.


Maybe double dash double dating was a bad idea...

Chapter Text

Samus has a bit of an issue.


With visitor’s week growing nearer and nearer as the days continued to march onward, she felt more and more pressured to fill out those stupid invites that she’d been given by the announcer and co. The only problem she had, however, was the fact that she had no one to bring. Everyone and everything she got close to inevitably died, be it by her own hand or because she hesitated.


Frustrated, Samus let out a groan, letting her pencil roll off the countertop where she was planning to finally fill out the form and onto the ground.


Disgruntled, Samus bent down to pick it up, only for a certain someone to be right by her side.


”Hiiiii!” Kirby beamed, as joyful and jolly as ever. Happily, the pink puffball offered Samus her pencil back.


”Yeah, thanks or whatever,” Samus muttered, retrieving the pencil back from the other.


At once, she attempted to get back to work, but again she came up short even with one person she could invite. Kirby watched curiously as Samus got nothing done, going so far as to jump up and on top of the counter. 


Samus shot the Star Warrior a glance. Not a particularly angry one... but an annoyed one none the less. “... You can go, Kirby,” she instructed.


But Kirby did not intend on leaving. Instead, he continued to sit and watch. “Poyo!”


”Poyo yourself, pinky. Can’t you see I’m working here?” Samus asked, a slight edge to her voice. Working was, of course, a pending term for it.


Kirby tilted his head to the side, as if not quite understanding what she meant. Did she just call him ‘Pinky’? For some reason, that name sounded familiar...


Samus wove a gloved hand in from of his face. Kirby blinked twice, before springing up. Samus seemed sad. Angry, even. Kirby knew what to do if a friend was upset!


Just as quickly as he had come, Kirby bolted from the room. Samus watched him go, nearly in awe.



An hour had past since Kirby had intruded, and Samus was no closer than she had been before. Still, her pencil hung over an empty paper, and still she was pissed that no one came to her mind. Was she really that dislikable? Or maybe just lonely? Either way, it wasn’t helping her... and Visitor’s Week was only a handful of days away.


Kirby re-entered the room, balancing trays on his stubby arms. The poor creature could hardly see where he was going, but knew the hotel pretty well at this point. He had, after all, been coming to these events for quite some time...


Kirby ran into the backside of Samus, and made a startled sound. Luckily, no tray toppled to the ground.


Samus turned to see the little intruder. “What in hell...?” She asked, before cutting herself short. The sight before her was too much. She looked from the items as Kirby spread them out to the little pink guy himself.


Kirby wore a chef hat on his head, and looked awfully proud of himself. “Eea!” He chirped happily. Samus didn’t know what that meant, but whatever he had cooked smelled delicious.


Maybe she did need a break. She hadn’t eaten anything today yet, anyway.


Opening the first dish, a familiar scent hit her nose. All at once, memories came flooding back. Times with her mother, her father. Humid summers of childhood. K-2L before the space pirates came. The glory days.


Looking down, she saw that Kirby had made for her, among other things, a dish native to K-2L. A meal she hadn’t had since she was a little girl.


Her heart moved. Oh god, was she going to throw up?! Kirby watched her with adorable, waiting eyes. It felt as if her heart was going to be vomited outward, but got stuck in her throat. She didn’t know if it was the acid reflex or the emotions she’d kept down for so long, but that shit burned. A hand went up to clasp her burning throat.


”Kirby,” Came Samus’s voice, sounding (to herself, anyway) far away and hoarse. “W-Where did you learn this?”


Kirby stared blankly at her for a moment, before rushing up to hug her tightly. He didn’t give a response verbally at first. No, instead, he poked her right on the chest.


”Hewt,” Kirby told her.


This fucker. Making the strong, iron-willed Samus Aran, feared bounty hunter, cry? All from memories long suppressed?


Good memories. Memories that needed to be remembered.


Kirby hugged her until the emotions flooded away, and the food started to cool in her lap. Silently, Kirby offered the woman a smile.


Samus brushed at her eyes, wiping away any sign that she’d remembered anything, before breathing in deeply.


”Fuck it,” She said, before handing Kirby her three tickets for Visitor’s Week. “You can have these.”


Kirby took the gift earnestly. Six friends? Still, the number seemed to small.


Samus also gave Kirby a special utensil they used on K-2L to eat their kasnahw.


”Let’s eat.”

Chapter Text

Meta Knight: The calm before the storm.


Dark Pit: Stop with the poetic bulls***. It’s making me sick.


Meta Knight: That was just an expression.


Dark Pit: Don’t care.


Meta Knight: Hm


Meta Knight: I’ll bet you’ll be a popular one tomorrow.


Dark Pit: What’s tomorrow?


Dark Pit: S***, wait, I remember


Lucina: Visitor’s week


Palutena: Visitor’s week


Pokemon Trainer Leaf: Visitor’s week


Dark Pit: I said I remember!


Lucina: Sorry, you’re a fast typer.


Pit: Not the only thing he’s fast at! Ayoooo!


Pit: He’s also quick to jump to conclusions.


Dark Pit: F*** you, Pitstain. I know it was you.


Pit: I’m innocent!


Palutena: What’s going on?


Dark Pit: S***head here ate my set of Skyworld chocolates.


Pit: No! I didn’t!


Dark Pit: I doubt it.


Zelda: I think I believe Pit on this one.


Dark Pit: That’s just because you hate me, oh wise one.


Zelda: Yep.


Lucina: On a lighter note, who did all of you invite to visitor’s week? I can’t wait to meet all of your friends!




Meta Knight: ... Kirby had six invites sent out?




King Dedede: Oh dearest lord above.


Little Mac: Doc, Joe, Sand


Mario: ?


Wolf: Was that a shopping list?


Wolf: Oh, wait. The gloves. I forgot.


Little Mac: Yes.


Samus: To answer your question, Xander, it was me.


Samus: Plan on doing anything about it, squeaker boy?






Samus: D*** right.


Meta Knight: Samus...


King Dedede: ... Gotta say, kid. I liked you. Now we’re screwed.


Samus: What? What’s your deal with it? Aren’t you happy Kirby gets to bring more friends to this thing?


King Dedede: Kirby’s got kinda a warped view on... friendship.


Meta Knight: We are doomed.


King Dedede: One time he beat me down over a cake I didn’t even steal from him.


Samus: Hm. It can’t be that bad.


Meta Knight: You don’t know our world very well.


Ken: I’ve got my wife and kid coming, and then I invited Guile! 


Chrom: Substitute Guile for Fredrick and you and I are the same, Ken


Ken: Awesomeness! I can’t wait to meet your family!


Lucina: I’m right here.


Lucina: Though, I am quite pleased mother will be coming to see us!


Chrom: If you thought I wouldn’t invite her, you’d be ‘dad’ wrong!


Dark Pit: That was physically painful to read.


Ken: Hahahahahah!!!!!!!


Falco: Even if that was funny, it wasn’t funny.


Falco: There is no way that could be considered funny.


Samus: I’m ‘dad’ inside.


Falco: Okay, now that was funny.


Falco: Hey, McCloud. Who you got coming?


King Dedede: He’s not online.


Falco: F***


Falco: I’ll go make him online.


Mii Swordsfighter: Nikki, Matt, Barack Obama.


Mario: Interesting. I don’t think I’ve meet anyone with those names before...


Mario: I invited Captain Toad, Geno, and Pauline!


Luigi: Gen... who?


Mario: You wouldn’t know him. Before your time.


Luigi: but...


Fox: Krystal, Peppy and Slippy


Falco: Thanks


Fox: You woke me up from my nap for that?? You could’ve just asked me when you were next to me!


Falco: I mean, I could’ve.


Kirby: ( . 3 . )


Wolf: Thank you Kirby. Very cool.


Ridley: Just who you’d expect me to invite.


Samus: You m***********


Ridley: Motherkiller*


Samus: WOW.


Samus: Now you’re double dead, f*****


Ridley: I will come back. I have fourty alternate accounts, after all.


Mart: ... what?


Ridley: That was a joke.


Ridley: Not the ‘me coming back’ part, though.


Marth: ... okay, I guess.


Marth: I invited my wife Caeda, my sister, and my friend, Tiki.


Pit: Whoa whoa whoa. Tiki’s coming?


Marth: Yes?


Marth: Is that a problem? I assume you two have met.


Pit: No, no. Of course not.


Pit: Unrelated: who here knows how to read?

Chapter Text

Once again, the Smash Train was absolutely packed. The Hands could have easily transported everyone invited to spend the week at the hotel directly to the hotel with a snap of their fingers, but where was the fun in that? No, instead they opted for the Smash Train route. Was it more work? Oh definitely. Not only were the invitees transported into a dimension they weren’t from, they then had to board this strange train that would make a few stops along the way.


The first stop was at the Pokémon Pet Hotel, where a select few Pokémon who were invited joined the party.


”Wow, look at all those Pokémon!” Ethan, the Male Champian of Johto region exclaimed.


”Ah, yes!” Professor Oak smiled, clapping a hand on the back of the younger boy. “The world is filled with many Pokémon. I believe you will meet many new creatures on this adventure!”


”Ach! They be nothin’ new fer me!” Shield, the female Pokémon Trainer from the Galar region butted in happily. “Innit a wonderful world we live in?”


Onward the train went, chugging along through the sprawling landscape of the Smash universe. The skies, painted a soft blue, held the beautiful sun and a handful of floating islands every now and theb. Woodlands stretched their wingspan upward towards the blue above. The world itself seemed happy to have the new visitors.


Looking around, one would see many strange interactions. That truly was the feeling of Smash, wasn’t it? The point of this world was to forge strange, new friends in an odd, expansive world.


E. Gadd and the Polterpup chatted happily with Sheldon, the weapons expert from the Splatoon universe. Sheldon has came prepared, knowing many wouldn’t understand him. Instead, he developed a translator before knowing there was one in these new confounded Smash confounded things.


”My boy, you could work some kinks out of this translator doohickey!” E. Gadd explained. “You seem to be talking in quite a number of puns!”


Sheldon clicked his tongue, before nodding. “It’s a work-in-progfish, Edwin. Don’t fret! Though, I could use a fin. Er, appendage,”


Edwin Gadd chuckled, “Definitely!”




“Is it here yet? Do you see it?” Tiki asked excitedly from her spot at the train station. She held, on her back, a backpack overly stuffed with everything she could fit in her bag.


Shadow sighed, rubbing his eyes. “You’ve asked that question ten. Fucking. Times,” He groaned.


”I’m sorry! I’m just so excited!” She retorted.


”It’ll get here when it gets here, honey,” Krystal promised her.


”I think I feel a vibration... I hear something coming this way,” Alucard said, listening intently.


Tiki let out an excited squeal.


Isaac let out a soft sigh. “Looks like this is goodbye for a week then, huh?” He asked, looking to his friends.


The rest of the assist trophies gave each other a glance, before nodding to one another. Knuckles cage forth to give Isaac a bro-hug.


”Take care of the Motel for us, okay?” Knuckles asked.


Isaac was slightly taken aback, but returned the hug. “Y-Yeah, sure. Don’t you worry. It couldn’t get any worse, huh?”


”Woomy!” Callie and Marie said in unison,  wrapping the man before themselves in a hug.


One by one, the rest of the assist trophies came to wrap Isaac in a hug. 


Ashley let out a sigh herself. “Whatever,” She murmured, before joining in.


In a moment, the train came to a stop at the station. The assist trophies turned to the train and away from their friend.


”See ya, Isaac!” Phosphora waved, grinning to the other.


”Riki miss you already!” Riki shouted, entering the train.


”Take care!” Nikki shouted.


One by one, the assist trophies flashed their letters of invitation to the faceless driver. Even Chef Kawasaki, known for his clumsiness, presented his letter. 


With one look back to their friend, the train headed out.



 “Long time no see, eh Viridi?” Phosphora nudged cheekily at the goddess of nature. “Too long! And to think. Ol’ Pitty’s been up at the Smash Hotel place all by himself! I can’t believe he invited you, too!”


”He didn’t,” Viridi deadpanned. “Dark Pit did. He’s far from alone. Honestly, I don’t know why I accepted this invitation. I look around me, and all I see are those stupid monkeys!”


Funky Kong was dancing about the cab like a hooligan, while Cranky Kong hollered at him to quiet himself down. Dixie and Chunky looked on, silently chuckling to one another. A lone Klaptrap happened upon their way, and a cry came from all of the Kongs, Lanky, Candy included.


”Its disgusting,” Viridi added, a huff to her voice.


”Oh, cheer up, you sad sap!” Phosphora said with a nudge. “It’ll be fine!”



”Wow! I can’t believe Wario actually got to ride in this thing! It’s spectacular!” Mona gasped, in awe of everything around her. She snapped pictures left and right for her. “To think! He chose me of all the employees of WarioWare to come visit him!”


”Don't get too up on yourself, space captain,” Ashley said, rolling her eyes with her usual monotonous voice. “You’re probably the closest thing he has to a friend.”


”Whatever, I’ll take it!” Mona laughed. Leaning over her seat, she stared out to the expansive landscape. “Wow! Look how pretty it is out there!”


”Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh, is that a real Metroid?!” 9-Volt asked, tugging at Ashley’s sleeve. The girl tugged her arm away. “I played that game! I played that game! You gotta shoot it with ice or else it’ll eat your brains!!”


”Hmph. Amateur,” Motherbrain growled from beside the young boy.


9-Volt, turning his head, was absolutely astounded.


”Oh. My. Gosh,” He said, breathless, his mouth held agape.


”Don’t faint, fangirl,” Ashley frowned. She’d opened a local newspaper she’d stolen from the motel. “Ask for an autograph.”


9-Volt looked back to Ashley, and then to Motherbrain, and then back again.


”What hand is she gonna write my name with?! Motherbrain doesn’t have any arms! She also only has one main weakness. The eye in the center of her forehead! Samus has to—“


”—Wow! Look at that! Is that real?!” Mona asked, picking up a discarded green rupee. “This has got to be worth fortunes! I can pay my way through college, and then go to—“


”—Bam! Bam! Bam! That’s how Samus shot her, saving the whole planet, before she blew it up! Did you know Samus is a girl?! How crazy is that?!” 9-Volt continued.


Ashley sighed deeply. Not only would this be a long train ride, but also a long, long week.



The Barack Obama Mii spoke happily with Guile, when a sudden voice over the announcements caught his, and everyone else’s, attention.




The Wii Balance board jumped up and down happily. K. K. Slider nodded his head. Tails gave a happy thumbs up to the disembodied voice that Knuckles assured him he’d be used to.




”That sounds downright awful,” Peppy spoke, shaking his head. “Surely you didn’t lose someone close to ya because of these infernal traps, didja?”


The announcer was silent for a moment.




”Wonderful.” Fiametta, Waluigi’s grandmother spoke up. “There’s no chance I’d-a be able t’keepbup with you young folk.”




”World domination!” Fawful screeched from the back. Everyone turned to look at the green guy. He offered a shrug. “Floaty-voice did say anything.”


”Who invited you again?” Kemek asked, in the most disrespectful voice possible.


Fawful shrugged again. “The plant, I believe. This is also why this fellow is here.”


A plain Goomba waddled past. Kemek murmured a curse under his breath.




A groan went up.


”I thought you had unlimited resources!” Shadow shouted.






Jeff let out a sigh of relief. He was too shy to bunk with anyone new!




With that, the announcements clicked off. The fantastic eye candy that was the Smash Hotel was coming into view.



”I think that’s them,” A female Mii Swordsfighter said, dressed in the Black Knight’s armor. 


Ike let out a huff. “Nice observation,” He said, coldly.


”She’s right!” Daisy cried out, excitedly. “They’re coming! They’re coming!”


An explosion of conversation bloomed throughout the fighters gathered, as the train came to a halt.


Denizens of all reaches of the multiverse began to exit the train to meet their friends, lovers, family, or rival.


The week of absolute chaos begins now.

Chapter Text

The first day was underway. Here and there, Smashers gave their guests tours of the lavish Smash Hotel, much to the amusement and amazement of everyone who beheld the spectacle. Mona, in particular, was astounded. She’d taken so many pictures, her phone was already getting pretty packed. Of course, she’d made Wario appear in most of these, much to the chunky biker’s dismay.


Once the tours were over, the guests and their fighters were allowed to do anything they so pleased.


What better to do than stage a fight?


Ryu took center stage, facing off against none other than Chun-Li. From the sidelines, many people watched. Sakura cheered his name. However, her fangirling was no match for the likes of Ken and his family.


It truly was just like the good old days, wasn’t it?


Doc Louis wandered into the arena, following his prized boxer. Behind him strode both the second-best boxer (only behind Mac) and the worst boxer in the entire WVBA. Those being both Sandman and Glass Joe respectively.


”Gotta say, Mac,” Doc spoke out through his candy bar. “There’s some pretty impressive fighters here, if I do say so myself. Is that man throwin’ blue fire from his hands?!”


It was true. Ryu shot a haduoken towards Chun-Li, who skillfully dodged the attack.


Mac nodded at Doc. “That’s probably one of the least weird things you’ll see around here.”


Sandman scoffed. “Looks pretty simple to me. Surely I could learn how to do that.”


”I-I donno, Sandman,” Glass Joe spoke.


”From what I hear, Ryu spent many years trying to perfect his fighting style,” Mac said. “The man’s got discipline. More discipline than any of us, that’s for sure.”


“No matter,” Sandman huffed. Stepping forward, the man shouted. “I have dibs on next match! No one’s scared, are they?”


Joe rose his hand. “I-I am.”


Doc tolled his eyes. “This aughta be good, Mac.”


The prospect drew more spectators in than one could’ve imagined. All the bleachers in the boxing ring were filled, and more visitors and fighters alike came to view the fights.


Sandman was awfully good at what he did... and what he did was beat the snot out of people. For being as big as he was, the Sandman was light on his feet and hit as if he had laced his gloves with iron.


One by one, opponents came, and one by one opponents fell. Some of the strongest opponents from around the multiverse were still no match for the Sandman. Chun-Li came forth and was knocked down. Knuckles the Echidna tried his hand in the ring and, too, was knocked out. Even Donkey Kong was sent packing by the powerful punches of Sandman.


Needless to say, Sandman was putting the entire hotel to sleep.


”Step up! Take bets! Fawful wishes to accept your gambles!” Fawful shouted to the crowd. “Sandman destroys any foe such like a buzzing brothel! Which foe will destroy him, yes?”


”I have no idea what you’re saying,” Chrom said, before pulling out his wallet. “But I think that Ganondorf can take him down!”


Fawful greedily took the man’s bet. “A foolish train of thinking! I accept blue-hair’s wager!”


Blue-hair was wrong. Ganondorf stepped into the ring, and was too slow to catch the pro-boxer. The King of Evil was, as many others before him, pummeled to a pulp.


Sandman let out a laugh, pounding his chest with his boxing gloves. “No one can take me down! I’m dancin’ all over you fools!”


Little Mac and Doc Louis shared a glance between themselves. Yep. That was the same old Sandman, alright.


”Excuse-a me, dearie,” Came an old woman’s voice. Sandman turned around to see Fiametta, Waluigi’s grandmother, standing in the ring. “That’s-a no way to talk to your competition.”


Sandman let off a scoff. “Ain’t it, now? What’s a lil’ ol’ lady gonna do about that, then?”


There seemed to be a gleam in Fiametta’s eye, as she pulled out her rolling pin. “Someone’s gotta teach-a you some manners, eh?”



The fight wasn’t long, but it was surprising. Everyone in the audience watched with baited breath, as Mario, dressed in his referee outfit counted off.


”9!... 10! Knockout!” He shouted.


A single cheer rang out. Waluigi.


”That’s-a my grandma!” He shouted.


Fiametta smiled up to her grandson. Gracefully, she spun her rolling pin around on her finger. “Looks like I-a still got it,” She hummed.


”Wow,” Was all Falco could manage to say, as he scratched his head.


“‘Wow’ is an understatement,” Slippy corrected him. “That was bonkers!”


Fiametta looked around the audience. “So? Who’s-a next?”


No one jumped at the chance.



”She was an old lady! I couldn’t punch her!” Sandman said later, trying to justify himself. “I coulda broke her with one right hook!”


”Sure, sure. You keep sayin’ that, boy.” Doc laughed. “I’m sure even Glass Jaw Joe over here coulda taken that old woman!”


Timidly, Glass Joe chuckled.


Sandman made a motion to throw a punch at Joe. Joe shrieked out in horror.


Mac and Doc burst out laughing.


”What I thought, string bean,” Sandman growled, before plopping down into his seat.


Joe sighed. Maybe another day.

Chapter Text

King Dedede was in a joyful mood. Visitor weeks always did this to the plump penguin. It was always so much fun to have a visitor, so three was more than plenty! At lunchtime of the first day, he sat at his usual table, that was filled with more friends than usual on account of the week. Bandana Dee, Escargoon and Adeleine accompanied the big king, with plates of food.


“Say, your majesty? Who will we be seated with today?” Escargoon, Dedede’s right-hand, snaily compadre asked.


”None otha than these fine folk! Give a great big heya to my Smash friends!” Dedede chirped, gesturing to Luigi, Ness, Daisy, Meatball, and a handful of other Righters with their guests.


”Hello, all,” Meta Knight spoke upon seeing the friendly faces. “This is my own hell, but you are welcome to join me and my knights.”


”It’s not too bad!” Sailor Dee, one of the three selected Meta-knights said. “At least there’s free food!”


”Cute cat!” Adeleine commented, scratching Meatball behind the ears. Lazily, the cat mewed.


”She was a stray. Found her outside Luigi’s window!” Daisy smiled. “Probably the nicest cat you’ll ever find!”


The Polterpup couldn’t keep its eyes off of Meatball. Even in death, a dog will be a dog.


”Calm, Polterpup, my friend!” E. Gad said, calming the ghostly dog. “Friend! Not ectoplasm!”


Kirby made his appearance, his food piled up high as well. 


“Kirby! Long time no see!” Adeleine exclaimed at the sight of her friend.


All of a sudden, however, the conversation was brought to a halt. 


“‘Sup, fuckers?” Came a voice, followed by a pair of eyes. After the eyes, a shit-eating grin spread. A grin that was unmistakable.




King Dedede choked on the food he had been eating. A well-placed Heimlich from Bandana Dee saved him.


”Marx?!” Meta Knight shouted, raising Galaxia. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here. And at this time.”


Marx lazily floated in the air. “Relax, discount store shopper, I’m here as a guest! I got the letter to prove it!”


Opening his mouth, Marx spat out a (slobbery, disgusting) invitation letter, sent out by none other than the pink puff himself.


All eyes went to Kirby, who, in return, giggled happily like a baby.


”Kirby. What the fuck,” Meta Knight asked.


Luigi leaned to Daisy. “... Do you have any idea what’s going on?”


”No,” She whispered back. “But they seem pretty upset.”


”I think they know each other,” Jeff, Ness’s friend whispered back, making the two Mario-world inhabitants jump. “... You should work on your whispering.”


Ness nodded his head, and so did Paula. Only Poo remained stonic, staring at his empty plate.


”Is this the place?” Came another voice. Turning the corner from cafeteria to sitting area, a set of glowing yellow eyes poked out from under a white and blue garment. Two disembodied hands held a plate infront of him.


”Megalor! Dude! You’re here too?! That’s awesome!” Marx cackled. “Wow, I bet Dededumbass and Meta Cripes are gonna be pissed!”


”I’m... right here,” Meta replied, glaring at the two of them.


Marx shrugged with the hands and shoulders he didn’t have. “Yeah, I know. But I forgot where I asked.”


”Yes... heh. This... this is a tad awkward,” Megalor said, just as awkwardly.


”Remember that time these asshats helped you rebuild the Starcutter just for you to stab ‘em in the back? Good times! Good times!” Marx chuckled wildly. He did spins in the air. Oo, it was so much to see these guys suffer!


”He's about to have more than just a stab in the back,” Bandana Dee said coldly.


”What can I say? It was all just a prank! A joke! A, erm... Social experiment!” Megalor lied.


”You tried to destroy all of Dreamland on a joke?!” Escargoon asked, astounded.


”If I may interject, that sounds like one messed-up social experiment, my boy,” E. Gadd interrupted. “And I know a two or thing about messed up experiments!”


”Remember that one little ol’ time Marx had the power of Nova on his side and still got his ass kicked by Kirby? Thems was the good ol’ times!” King Dedede shot back.


Marx blew a raspberry at the king.


”An intelligent response,” Meta Knight deadpanned.


”Kirby, I hope you did more than just invite your worst enemies with those cards...” Adeleine sighed.


”Poyo!” Kirby exclaimed.


”Hmm... Interesting!” Prince Peasly responded, looking intently at the pink puffball. “This little creature... ah, isn’t he just the greatest?”


”Nope! I dispise the bastard!” Marx mused.


”Then...? Why are you...?” Peasly asked.


Marx ‘shrugged’ again. “Popstar blows without him.”


Next to join the possee was a giant hamster. Rick’s plate was full of different seeds and nuts. 


“Ah. Finally. Someone worth seeing,” Escargoon mused. “At least Rick isn’t a megalomaniac.”


”Heh. Yeah. Tell that to your food-thieving King.” Megalor mused.


Both Bandana Dee and Escargoon gave Megalor a cold stare.


Gooey was next, followed by Ribbion. Adeiline was overjoyed to see her fairy friend Ribbion, and E. Gadd was in awe of the sight of Gooey. Daisy had to stop Ness and his party from engaging with and beating down the blob of dark matter.


”Three, four, five... Kirby has one more guest, Meta Knight,” Captain Vul told his commander. “If it’s anything like the last couple...”


Meta Knight scoffed. “What’s he going to do? Invite Zero? Or Void?”


A silence fell amongst the people gathered. Meta Knight looked pleadingly towards Kirby, who stood none the wiser. “You... You didn’t invite them, did you?! Did you?!”


In walked a robotic, pink-haired woman. She scanned the area, before spotting where the one who had invited her was located. Susie waves happily to Kirby, who happily waved back.


”Pinky! So nice to see you again!” Susie said, a smile somehow audible in her voice. With no mouth to speak of, conveying emotion was difficult.


Meta Knight slammed his head down on the table.


Kirby, oh my fuck.”


Marx burst out cackling again. “I knew I made the right choice in coming here!!!”

Chapter Text

“It’s quiet,” Colonial Campbell commented over his cup of coffee. “I’m... not used to it being so quiet.”


Otacon shared a glance between himself and Snake, and then Mei Ling, before returning to the commander.


”I-I gotta say, colonial, no disrespect... but ever since we’ve been here, it hasn’t been quiet for even a second!” Otacon replied. The brilliant Doctor Hal Emmirch straightened his glasses, before gazing off at a handful of other fighters. There certainly were some interesting robots around here...


”I don’t think that’s the quiet he means, Otacon,” Snake replied.


”You’re thinking about it too literally, Hal,” Mei Ling spoke. “The sky here seems so much... bluer, than back home.”


”Exactly what I mean,” Roy Campbell said. The elder man leaned backward in his chair, sipping from his mug for a moment. “Whatever it is that goes on in this world seems much more light hearted than it does in ours.”


Snake nodded to that guiltily. “Yeah... Here, you don’t ever die for real,” Snake said. Too many comrades he had seen slain out on the field of battle.


War was hell.


”I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean any disrespect... I suppose I can see what you’re saying,” Otacon mused. “... but I donno if quiet is the word for it. I think I saw a DJ Octapus rollerskate or... or something past here a second ago...”


”Mmh, maybe he’s right,” Mei Ling mused. The soldier herself seemed more relaxed than usual. Less on edge.


”That doesn’t mean everyone here has less of a story to tell, I’m sure,” Campbell commented.


Snake shook his head at the question. The four of them looked so out of place here. They looked as if they had never known true freedom until this moment... and now, they didn’t know what to do with it. “Met a lotta good folk here. Lotta good friends. I even talked to one of those Inkling things, and they may have it worse off than we do.”


”You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Hal mused.


”Wish I was,” Replied Snake. “From what I gathered, they’ve been raised from a young age to participate in these wars... and they love it. Don’t know a life away from it.”


A heavy silence fell over the group, as they reflected on what Snake said.


War was hell, and those poor squid kids had no reason to be wrapped up within it.


The only thing that broke the silence was the subtle sound of a chair squeaking across the floor.


”Hey,” Samus spoke. “Mind if I join you guys today?”


All four of them looked up at the bounty hunter, before Snake shook his head. “The floor’s all yours, Sam.”


Samus let off a soft sound at the nickname, but didn’t chew him out like he usually did.


”Hm. Somethin’ wrong?” Snake asked. “Normally you’d tear me a new one for calling you that.”


”She seems to not have any visitors,” Campbell commented. “Perhaps that’s why she’s come here.”


”You hit it right on the mark,” Samus replied, shooting the gentleman with a finger gun.


”Hello, there. May I ask a name?” Mei Ling requested.


Samus cracked a small smile, as the group accepted them as one of their own. “Samus Aron. Intergalactic bounty hunter,”



The mood didn’t stay gloomy all afternoon for the five of them... and especially not when the alcohol came out. Stories were shared, and good times were had all around.


The moderator of the group was, of course, the colonial, who did not drink.


”You’ve gotta be kiddin’! You didn’t!” Otacon chuckled loudly, making sure his bottle didn’t tumble to the ground. “The entire planet?!”


”Yep! The whole thing!” She laughed in return. Her laughter was strangely contagious, and soon, the rest of the group was laughing right along with her.


Even Mei Ling had let her hair down, much to everyone’s surprise.


”How’s about we head to the gym and go a few rounds?” Snake proposed, to everyone agreement. Everyone except Campbell, who decided to stay behind.


As the rest of his group left, Campbell leaned back in his chair once more, and sipped at his coffee. He listened to the loud voices all around him. From the Fire Emblem cast catching up on old times, to Ken bragging to everyone in earshot about his boy Mel, Roy Campbell drank it all in.


He could get used to this kind of quiet.

Chapter Text

“Pit! Hey, Pit!”


A voice pierced through the surrounding hallway, taking the Kid Icarus cast by surprise. Viridi and Phosphora turned their heads, as did Pit.


Phosphora glowed happily as she saw her fellow assist trophy approaching. “Heya, Tiki!” She chirped out.


”Oh, great. Another one of these humans?! This is ridiculous!” Viridi groaned. “Don’t those hands have any better participants? These fleshy, disgusting abominations are only good at hurting one thing! The planet!”


”Thanks,” Magnus huffed gruffly.


Viridi rolled her eyes. “Well, it’s true!”


”Heya, Tiki! What’s up?” Pit asked, awkwardly standing away from his friends to speak with the green haired woman.


”I’ll give him five minutes before he says something stupid,” Dark Pit whispered to Palutena.


The goddess rolled her eyes. 


“Obviously you don’t know him very well,” Viridi interjected.


Arlon, Viridi’s right hand man, offered a chuckle at that, shaking his head softly. “Pit may be honorable, but brains are not his strong suit.”


”Nothing, really,” Tiki hummed, crossing her arms behind her back. “I had some free time, and I saw you walking... Thought we could catch up a little! It has been a few weeks since we last spoke...”


”Y-Yeah... about that...” The angel murmured, scratching at the back of his head. “Y’see—“


”Have you been getting my letters?” Tiki asked, tilting her head to the side. “It’s the mail system, isn’t it? It’s a little buggy, from what I hear.”


She was making the excuse too easy for him to pass up. Pit, goofily, snapped his fingers. “Y-Yeah, that’s gotta be it! Maybe... maybe with all the invites headed to the motel for this whole visitor’s week thing, the actual mail got muddled!”


Tiki smacked her forehead, as if experiencing an ‘aha!’ moment. “That’s gotta be it!... Too bad, really. I’d love to hear about the excitement that goes on here! It’s probably way more exciting than the Motel!”


”No way! You’ve got so many cool assist trophies there!” Pit laughed. His mood was increasing, as if the weight had been lifted from his chest. “Maybe we can catch up now instead?”


Tiki’s emerald eyes lit up at the prospect. “That sounds wonderful! I’ve so much to tell you! Besides, Mar Mar’s busy with his wife, and Lucina and Chrom’re having some kind of family bonding day...”


The duo turned to leave, continuing their chat, leaving the rest of the Kid Icarus Squad behind.


”... What the hell did I just witness?” Dark Pit finally spoke up.


”Huh,” Magnus mused.


”They’re oblivious,” Phosphora hummed, floating lazily behind the rest of them. Graciously, she ate a handful of grapes she’d brought with her.


Viridi rolled her eyes. “It’s Pit. Did you expect anything else? We all know the guy!”


Palutena gently tapped her staff to the ground. “What do you mean, Phosphora?”


”Can’t you feel it, oh goddess of light?” Phosphora hummed. She offered no further explanations.


Dark Pit continued to stare at where his double had left. “... She seemed nice enough.”


All eyes went to the edgy angel.


”What? What’re you looking at?” He huffed, crossing his arms.


”Thats probably the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Pittoo,” Palutena said, a small laugh to her voice. Gently, she ruffled his jet-black hair. “I’m proud!”


Dark Pit pushed her hand off of him, and gave her a look that was filled with nothing but contempt. “Go stick your hand in a Pirhana Plant,” Dark Pit spat.


DID SOMEONE SAY PIRHANA PLANT?!” Viridi squealed, excitedly.


Everyone groaned.



Hours had past, before Pit finally returned to his guests. Gladly, the angel boy waved to the rest of them, holding something under his arm. “Hey guys! Sorry to keep you waiting! What’re we playing?”


Pit sat down next to his doppelgänger, who had just placed down a handful of cards.


”Welcome back, wings,” Magnus offered.


“Have a seat, my boy!” Dynthos, the god’s craftsman, proposed.


”How was the date?” Phosphora asked gleefully.


”Date?” Pit asked. “What date?”


”See? He’s hopeless!” Viridi exclaimed.


”Viridi, be nice,” Palutena commanded. The goddess of nature gave a pouty face in response. Palutena turned to Pit, a smile on her face. “What did you learn from... ah, what’s her name again?”


”Tiki,” Both Pits responded at the same time.


Again, everyone glanced at Dark Pit, who simply rolled his eyes. “Learn to listen, wouldja? Jeez,” He huffed.


“Anyways, she was great!” Pit hummed, feet tapping gently against the ground. “We talked about all kinds of things. I talked about you guys, and she talked about her friends. We joked around, got something to eat, watched both Corrins reconnecting with both of their families... Saw some Kirby guy with a hat tormenting some Animal Crossers... She told me how much she liked my company, and I told her the same thing... uhm...”


Pit pauses a moment, trying to remember the rest of his day. Everyone, even Magnus, listened on with baited breath.


“Oh yeah! We were just about to leave, and then we promised to get together again before visitor’s week is done!” Pit said, satisfied. “I gave her a high-five, and then we left. She looked kinda disappointed in the high-five, though... Overall, it was a pretty good day!”


Dark Pit’s head hit the table. “You ended it with a fucking high five?!”


”Well, duh! How else am I supposed to end it? High-fives are both informal and cool!” The angel smiled.


”What did I tell you? Worthless!” Viridi groaned. She looked about ready to pull her hair out.


Dynthos set down a handful of cards, and scoffed. “Well, Viridi, it could’ve been worse.”


”Literally how?” Phospora asked.


Dynthos opened his mouth, before closing it again. He came up dry.


”He could’ve missed the chance entirely,” Palutena offered. “At least he got to connect with his... ‘friend’ again.”


”I don’t know what you guys mean,” Pit said, quite bluntly. “It was a good day!”


Magnus grunted. “Pit? You’re an idiot. Never change.”


Pit took that as a compliment.


”What’s that?” Magnus asked, pointing to the thing he held under his arm.


”Oh, this?” Pit asked, taking out an envelope. “It’s a set of letters she’d sent me that I didn’t get... or, well, technically, I did get them, but uh...”


”We get it,” Viridi interjected. “You lied.”


”No! I, uhm... Purposefully misled her!”


”So... You lied?” Arlon asked. Pit gave him a look.


”Y-Yeah... I lied...” Pit murmured softly. Oh, he felt bad about it.


Dark Pit let out a laugh. “That’s a first. I thought you were Mr. ‘could do no wrong’?”


Gently, Palutena places a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Pit. We all lie from time to time. We’ll make sure you won’t have to lie to her anymore, right?” She asked those gathered.


A chorus of ‘no’s and ‘hell no’s rang out.


Palutena was less than impressed.

Chapter Text

“Ach! Pathetic! Y’call yerself th’ champion? Pah! Y’canne even beat me step aunt! She’s got two prosthetics, y’know!” Shield gloated over her recent victory. The Pokémon trainers of Smash had come together to organize a sort of tournament between each other, to see who truly was the very best.


”Nice try, Blaziken. We’ll get ‘em next time,” May, the female champion of the Hoenn region, said, returning her starter. She looked at the Pokéball in her hand, before making a move to grab the money from her coin purse.


”Aye, no need lassie. I don’ mean no disrespect when I say yer hot rubbish. Y’can keep yer Pokédosh. B’side, I donne think we’s playin’ fer keeps,” Shield mused, holding up a hand. May nodded her head, before returning it to her backpack.


”Who’s next t’fight me team?” The Galar champion cried out.


”I can’t tell why, but she seems pretty familiar,” Ash Katchum said with a point in the direction of May. Ash’s Greninja had been invited to this event, so it was almost certain that he and his friends would be brought here.


”I can’t tell you why, but I feel that same way,” Brock agreed, with a nod of her head. His eyes turned towards Shield. “She’s completely new, though! I’ve never seen anyone so passionate about battling before! Wouldn’t it be grand to meet her?!”


Serena scoffed. “I’m sure you two would get along great.”


”You really think so?!”


Ash rolled his eyes, before stepping up to the plate.


”An’ who d’yew think yew are, y’scrawny, bug-eyed, leftover katsup bot’l lookin’ pile o’ Grookey droppin’s?” She questioned, standing as proud and arrogant as ever. It was part of her nature, after all.


Ash straightened out his cap, and reached towards a ball at his belt. “Ash Katchum from Pallet Town.” He answered.


”Ah, so yer onna them Kanto folk, eh? Met a few o’ them round here. Blimey, are ye oblivious!” She mocked.


“Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve been out of Kanto! I’ve traveled the whole Pokémon world!”


”That so, pretty boyo? I ain’t never seen ya in Galar! Mus’ be there jus’ soight-seein’ insteada makin’ a name fer yerself, eh?”


Ash grit his teeth. “I’ll show you a sight to see!”


The battle was soon underway.



It was a long, hard battle. The two of them went back and forth, trading blows here and there. It seemed that every way Ash went, Shield had an answer.


Finally, the dust settled.


”Y’did good, Aegislash. Y’can come back now.”


Ash let out a cheer, before rushing up to give his Infernape a hug. The monkey Pokémon let out an affectionate noise, as it embraced it’s trainer. 


“You’re amazing, Infernape!” Ash cheered.


”Its about time you brought him out of retirement!” Brock chuckled. “I don’t remember the last time I saw something like that!”


”I’ve never seen something like that!” Serena said, aghast.


Shield slowly approached the three of them. She’d taken a small hit to the pride, but she could swallow it for now. She stuck her hand out to Ash. “That was quite a d’splay, lad. Real impressed, I am.”


Happily, Ash shook her hand. “Looks like I’m movin’ up in the world, huh?”


”Now, don’t ye get too ahead ‘ah yerself, fella! That’s how y’get keeled over!”


”Sure thing. Who’s next?” Ash asked.


”That would be me,” Came Red’s voice.


Red and Ash locked eyes for a moment. Red fumbled with a Pokéball at his waist, as Ash did the same.


”Whoa,” Leaf mused to Dawn and May, as they sat across the way. “You can almost feel their thoughts...”


”Scary!” Dawn responded. Idly, she was combing through the mane of her Milotic. “I wonder what they’re thinking...”


You think to be the very best? Ash thought.


Well, I am the very best. Red thought.


All at once, the two trainers grabbed their Pokeballs.


”Go! Squirtle!” Red shouted.


”Let’s rock it, Pidgiot!”


Just like that, the battle was underway.



Professor Oak watched on from beside a tree, as the two trainers threw down. Their battle was intensive. It made the older man’s pulse race in a way he’d only felt when he was a young boy.


Beside him stood his grandson, idly flipping a coin in his thumb and forefinger.


”Who’s winning, gramps?” Blue asked.


”Shh, what’s-your-face... I don’t want to miss even a minute of this battle!” Oak exclaimed.


”Gramps, my name is Blue!” Blue groaned.


”Yes, yes, I know... but it isn’t every day you see your two star pupils facing one on one!”


”Betcha Red gets his ass handed to him,” Blue chuckled.


”I wouldn’t be so sure, grandson. You’ve seen what he is capable of. Remember, you were only Champion for all of ten minutes.”


”S-Shut it! I’m happy as a gym leader!” Blue huffed.


A beat paused, before Blue spoke again. “Money’s still on Z-face, though.”



Soon, the battle was over. It really was impressive what the two of them did, and the heatedness of the battle. It felt as if both of them were trying to prove themselves.


”Way to go, Snorlax,” Ash murmured, returning his gluttonous giant. “You did well.”


Red smiled, knowing that he’d won. It was a hard-fought victory, but a victory nonetheless. “You’re amazing, Machoke!” Red grinned at his muscled ‘mon.


”Machoke!” The creature said with a flex.


”I’ve always been meaning to ask you, Red,” Leaf said, entering the field from the stands. “Why haven’t you evolved Machoke yet?”


Red offered a shrug. “No one to trade him to, I guess.”


”I’ve always been right here!” Leaf responded.


Res shrugged again.


A clapping sound caused all of the trainers’ heads to turn. Professor Oak and Blue made their way to the group.


”Professor Oak!” Brock called out. “I didn’t realize you were here, too!”


”Red here invited me,” Oak reviled. Red smiled slightly, before nodding.


”Who be this daft colt?” Shield asked Dawn. Dawn offered a shrug in reply.


”Thats Proffessor Oak! Lead Pokémon scientist and resident of Pallet Town! Who don’t you know this?” Leaf asked.


Shield shrugged. “Schoolin’ ain’t where I paid most ah’ me mind, y’dolt.”


Leaf rolled her eyes.


”You know him?” Ash asked, pointing at the champion.


”Of course I do. He’s from Pallet Town, after all.”


There was a bit of stunned silence between the two trainers.


After a beat, Red broke it. “Maybe that’s why I felt the rivalry. Home town roots, huh?”


Ash laughed, before going to give Red a handshake. The handshake was one that was happily reciprocated.


”Looks like the champion reigns,” Blue mused. “Even at a silly little thing like this, you still prosper.”


Just then, the sound of feet caught their attention once again.


Stepping outside and onto the battlefield came a certain cat and its friends.


This included a little less-than-willing Little Mac.


”Cineroar!” Incineroar cried out. Primerina let our a happy cry while Decidueye remained quiet. Little Mac struggled against Saracha’s strong grip, but was unable to get away. It appeared he was in for the Pokémon battle of a lifetime.


The trainers exchanged one last look, before grinning.


It looked as though their battles were far from over.

Chapter Text

The Villain’s Club seemed much more packed than usual. It made sense, in reality. More chumps in the Hotel meant more bad guys trying to prove themselves as the baddest.


What better way to indoctrinate them in than with a video game tournament?


”No! That’s cheating!” Waluigi cried out, as his character in the fighting game soared off the screen.


Fawful chuckled, not even holding the controller in his hand. “Reality bends to Fawful’s will! Not a button press did Fawful make, and you still lost! The sandwich of victory will be seasoned with the mustard of your tears, loser!”


”Who the hell invited him?!” Bowser all but growled, crossing his arms. His adoptive father, Kemek, offered little to help. Only a shrug.


”I expected better of you, purple,” Wolf hummed idly, inspecting his claws. “You’ve only been practicing for, what? 25 years?”


”Shut it,” Waluigi shot back, before tossing the controller towards him. “You do-a better, then, furry!”


”Can’t,” Wolf replied. “I can’t stick around for orientation much longer.”


”Awh, why’s that, boss? We were just starting to have fun!” Leon whined.


”I don’t care what you do. I just can’t stay,” Wolf responded.


”Why’s that? Got some kinda hot date?” Ridley piped in. The Cunning God of Death knew full well where the other was heading. A smirk grew over his face as Wolf glared at him.


”That is most unlikely,” Panther Caroso, the newest edition to the Star Wolf team responded. “Wolf certainly isn’t going soft any time soon.”


”I don’t-a know...” Fiametta hummed, moving to pinch Wolf’s cheek. “He’s-a such a good boy.”


Wolf’s face heated up at the old woman’s compliment, but he quickly turned away. “Panter’s right. I’ve got a... meeting,” Wolf lied.


”With Isabelle?” Ridley shot back, raising an eyebrow. Kried let out a belly laugh, despite not knowing who Isabelle was. Wolf’s glare only grew stronger.


“Maybe it is! You let the boss be!” Andrew Oikonny spat at the others. The nephew of Andross wasn’t about to let his leader be badmouthed. “... Hey, who’s Isabelle?”


”No one. Someone just needs to take his big, scaly nose out of where it doesn’t belong. Not to mention he’s much smaller than what he looked like in Brawl,” Came Wolf’s rebuttal.


”Sure,” Ridley rolled his eyes.


”Hmmm... Fawful senses the tightness of tension between these two villains! My he offer a hot tea?”


”Oh my lord,” Bowser groaned. There wasn’t much that the Koopa King hated. Aside from the Mario Bros, happiness, the Mushroom Kingdom... At the top of the list was Fawful, however.


”Seems t’me that the insane dude in the tacky coat’s gotta point, G,” DJ Octavio said. It was his turn on the game, and, for an octopus, he was doing pretty well. “Somethin’ tells me these two ain’t exactly the tightest.”


”Oh, gee. An excellent observation, genius,” Wolf replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.


”They’ve been at each other’s throats since day one,” Ganondorf explained, taking a slice of cake out of the mini fridge.


”I couldn’t be caught dead near a space pirate,” Wolf shot. Ridley glared heavily, as did Motherbrain and Kraid.


”Eh, uh, boss? Ain’t that what we do?” Leon asked.


Wolf muttered a curse under his breath at the incompetence of those around him. “No, Leon. We’re mercenaries. We’re hired guns. We don’t go cause havoc on our own.”


”Andrew does,” Panther joked. Leon snickered.


Wolf checked his watch. Looks like it was time for him to head out. “Looks like it’s time. I’m out of here. Don’t keep the light on.”


”Have fun with Isabelle!” Ridley called after him.


It’s a meeting! It’s not with Isabelle!” Wolf shouted, before exiting.


There was a moment of silence, before chatter emerged once again.


”What a nice young animal,” Kotake chortled.


”Wasn’t he?” Koume joined in.


”Moms. Please,” Ganondorf huffed. “That’s the opposite of what we’re going for.”


”Oop, you’re right, dear,” Koume mused.


”I forgot for a moment that you’re the King of Evil, and not the King of Peace and Harmony!”


”Looks like you’re mama’s favorite little demon spawn,” Bowser jokingly jabbed. Ganondorf let out a low sigh. 


Who would’ve thought Ganondorf was a momma’s boy?



Wolf had lied. It was an obvious lie. Ridley had been right. He had made arrangements to be with Isabelle and her guests at this point and time.


Wolf walked the path to the meeting place. It was a bit of a jaunt from where he’d been, but it was worth it. The mercenary seemed to have a skip to his step.


That joy was seemingly replaced when he saw the other in question.


She didn’t see him, but he had seen it all. She was with someone else. A dog, one about her height, and in a bright red blazer. A fine looking fellow, of course. He was one Wolf had never seen in his life.


What happened next was what did him in.


Isabelle reached up, and planted a kiss on the dog’s forehead. Understandably, the one in the red suit coat reacted in embarrassment, and so did Isabelle.


But Wolf had seen enough. Sure, it wasn’t the most substantial evidence in the world, but it was good enough for him.


And what was this newfound hurt in his chest? He’d been shot, stabbed, pummeled... but this? This was new, and he didn’t like it.


Wolf stood for a moment on the path, still unseen by Isabelle or her visitors, before turning on his heel and walking away. He was a fool. An idiot. Why did he ever think anything would come of them? What would she even see in him, when she’s probably got someone of her very own already? Gritting his teeth to stop the overwhelming feelings he had, Wolf trudged away from the path and back towards the Hotel.


A storm of emotions boiled in Wolf. He didn’t know what to make of himself. All he knew was that he’d made a mistake in investing so much of himself in her. Of course she was already romantically involved with someone. Was this what today was about? Introducing him to her lover? Nope. He wasn’t about that. 


Maybe be a lone Wolf was better, anyway.


God, was he an idiot. At the very least, he hoped to still remain friends with her, as he did genuinely care for her. Right now, however, Wolf wanted to be away from everyone.


Visitor’s week is stupid. Wolf wished he’d never been reinvited to this shit show.



”He should’ve been here by now...” Isabelle murmured, checking her watch for the eight time. Eight minutes late. That was odd.


Digby, Isabelle’s twin brother, straightened out his red blazer. “Don’t worry, Izz. I’m sure he’ll be here... Eventually.”


“This is worrying... do you think he’s okay?” She asked her brother.


”He’s a space pilot, right? He’s been in worse scrapes than anyone here, probably. I’d say he’s just fine... Maybe he just lost track of time?”


”I... Don’t know... Maybe we’ll wait a little longer. Is that okay with you?”


Digby offered his twin a shrug. “Works for me. Remember, I’m here for you. You did invite me, after all.”


A little longer might have been a rough estimate. The two of them remained there for a half hour, before Hope was lost. Isabelle tried contacting the merc on the communicator, and was met by nothing in return. This was... odd behavior.


Discouraged and confused, Isabelle returned to the Hotel.


Maybe she’d get another chance to introduce her brother to the coolest member of Smash another day...

Chapter Text

E. Gadd: Confound it, I cannot figure this thing out! It is much more complex than the GameBoy Horror I whipped up in the lab!


E. Gadd: Oh my, look at that! There’s me! Fascinating!


Mario: Ah, Gadd, I don’t mean to sound rude... but aren’t visitors supposed to be restricted from chatting with the actual fighters in the Smash Chat?


E. Gadd: Mario, my boy! Your name is in here too! Wonderful!


Mario: Right... very helpful.


E. Gadd: To answer you burning question, indeed they are! However, this sat well not with me, I tell you! My associate and I agreed something needed to be done!


Sheldon: Shello!


Mario: Oh my.


Mario: That may not be such a good idea, Gadd...


E. Gadd: Nonsense, Mario! Just a few more tweaks and this chat will be the envy of the multiverse!


Mario: The... multiverse?




Mario: Oh no.


DJ Octavio: What did I just get pinged for?


Dark Pit: The h***’s going on in here?


Zelda: Did you all get that notification too?


Young Zelda: So weird


BoTW Zelda: My, this is much more complex than the Sheika Slate!


BoTW Zelda: What does ‘BoTW’ mean?


Mario: This is chaos


E. Gadd: Nonsense! This is innovation!


Sheldon: You don’t know half the codes we had to crack and how many multiversal laws we’ve shattered!


Luigi: Oh my... something tells me this place is going to get busy...


E. Gadd: Luigi! Just the spunky youngster I wanted to converse with!


E. Gadd: Say, say! I’ve heard you and Daisy recently found a common ground together, yes?


Dark Pit: You’re just hearing about this now? This is old news, old man


E. Gadd: Apologies for being out of the loop, as the kids say. I do happen to live multiple universes away.


Tiki: Fascinating... this tome seems to be vibrating in my hands!


Olivia: Finally, a use for these metal boxes.


Chrom: Technology is crazy in other universes, huh?


Lucina: You’ll get used to it, Tiki.


Daisy: Holy sunshine, this place is buzzing like Honeycomb.


Mario: You’ve been to Honeycomb?


Daisy: Well, duh! We raced there, remember?


Mario: Ah, right.


Daisy: Sorry for not telling you I snatched your boy sooner, Gadd. He was too sweet to leave here by himself!


Daisy: Plus, he kinda slammed his head into my doorway when he was coming to tell me the news.


E. Gadd: Wonderful, wonderful! May the two of you live long and prosper!


Luigi: I’m blushing,,,,


Dark Pit: And I? Am gonna vomit.


Phosphora: Awww! I love a happy ending to a love story!


Phosphora: Don’t we, Pit?


Pit: What? I don’t get it.


Phosphora: Really? No one comes to mind? Not even a certain green-haired woman with amazing power?


Pit: If you’re talking about Lady Palutena right now, I do hope she finds love some day! More than just love from me and the inhabitants of Skyworld, anyway.


Dark Pit: Keep dreamin’, kid.


Pit: You’re technically younger than me, Pittoo.


Marx: Oh sick, you guys have a group chat and everything?! This place is wayyyyy cooler than Popstar! I shoulda asked Nova to be invited to Smash instead of complete and unrivaled power!


Chrom: Don’t worry, kid. I’m sure you’ll get your chance another day.


Meta Knight: I refuse to be in the same group chat as Susie


Susie: What? What did I do?


King Dedede: Tried to take over Dreamland and turn Meta here into a machine of war.


Escargoon: What?! When did this happen?


Bandana Dee: I think you were on that ‘indefinite vacation’ thing.


Richter: You guys have some screwed up friends.


Marx: What’s that? You want your entire interworkings flipped upside down so you s*** out your mouth?


Marx: What the f***? A profanity filter? That’s not gonna do.


Marx: Fuck.


Marx: That’s better.


Samus: F*** yeah!


Samus: F***


Isabelle: Sorry to interrupt, but has anyone seen Wolf? I can’t seem to find him anywhere...


Ridley: How’d your meeting go? I presume not that well.


Isabelle: Meeting?


Digby: He... never came.


Ganondorf: Hm. It appears maybe his meeting wasn’t with her, then, Ridley. Perhaps you can stop patronizing him for it?


Ridley: That’s unlikely. Something must’ve happened. I’ll go beat the information out of him if I have to.


Peppy: Ol’ one eye’s gone missin’, eh?


General Pepper: Perhaps for the better. He was quite the thorn in the side of too many missions.


Colonel Campbell: A fellow member. I solute you for your services, even if they are in a different universe.


General Pepper: To you as well, colonel.


Captain Falcon: What’s goin on here?


General Pepper: Another member? Looks as if this hotel’s the greatest protected across the multiverse. I solute you, captain.


Captain Falcon: Uhhh... Yeah. Finger guns your way, too.


Peach: Do we tell them?


Daisy: No. let them have their fun.


Leon: Wait, the boss has gone missing?


Falco: Hah, good riddance. Pesky bag of fleas is all he was.


Panther: Only a coward speaks of a man behind his back, Lombardi.


Falco: Call me what you want, but I f****** hated the guy.


9-Volt: Wowowowowow! This is so cool!! So many game characters, right here for me to talk to! It’s better than an AMA!! Samus?! Does your gun come off?


Samus: What?... Yeah. The gun comes off. The whole suit does.


9-Volt: Coooool! Have you ever tried taking a rocket and seeing how far you can throw it?! Like, no rocketing it out or anything?!


Samus: Look, kid. That’s probably the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.


Samus: F*** yeah I have.


9-Volt: Awesome!!! Can I try? Please please please????


Samus: Sure, kid. Sure.


Waluigi: That’s not something you see everyday! Samus making friends?!


Samus: Remember who’s talking, lanky.


Waluigi: Hmph. Funny.


Ken: Dang! This place’s sure gottem some traction!


Ryu: Really? I hadn’t noticed.


Fawful: Fawful is chortling! Much funny!


Barack Obama: Thank you, Fawful. Very cool.


Sonic: A new fighter... Hey, what universe are you from? Don’t think I’ve seen you around...


Barack Obama: Mii.


Sonic: Oh... that makes sense.


Barack Obama: 😎👍


Luigi: At least he’s a memorable Mii...


Matt: Ouch.


Luigi:No offense! I don’t mean anything bad!


Mega Man: You’ve gotta be more careful, Luigi.


Luigi: I know...


Ridley: Update. Wolf’s gone.


Dark Pit: Thats not an update, first of all. Secondly, who cares?


Isabelle: Me.


Leon: I do.


Andrew: I care.


Panther: Me.


Digby: I do.


Dark Pit: Hm. Whatever.


Falco: I don’t. Screw that guy.


Isabelle: That’s not very nice! :(


Snake: My hurrying dog senses are tingling. Which one of you f**** did it?


Falco: Oh no.


Chapter Text

Mario wasn’t always the biggest fan of Visitor’s Week.


Sure, he did get to see friends he hadn’t seen in a while from his own universe. This turn around, he had invited Captain Toad, Pauline, and Geno.


Geno in particular was surprised to receive a letter from the mustachioed man inviting him to this fantastic hotel, for he hadn’t seen Mario in what felt like decades. He accepted the invite, however.


While it was true he was able to reconnect... it also meant everyone wished to connect with him, too.


Literally everyone.


”Is that the Mario?” Azura asked Male Corrin, as they walked down the hallway.


”Wow. Even the Mario is here.” Dr. Light commented to Mega Man. “Astonishing!”


”Dad! Mom! That’s the Mario!” Mel Masters, son of Ken Masters, tugging at Julia’s shirt. “He’s sooooo cool!”


Even Obama wanted an autograph from the Mario.


But Mario has never thought of himself as the Mario.


He was just... he was just-a Mario to him.


The fame was nice and all, but how could he hold a conversation with someone? It seemed like the whole multiverse knew his name. It wasn’t in the portly plumber’s nature to bask in the fame as others would do.


He’d done what he’d done not because he longed for riches and fame, but because it was the right thing to do.


”Momma Mia...” Mario sighed, after signing what felt like the eightieth autograph. 


“Being famous sure does take a tole, huh, Mario?” Pauline hummed idly beside him. “Cheer up. I’m sure there’s hundreds of people out there who wish they could be you.”


”I just wish I could be just-a me, Mario,” Mario groaned. “I’mma held to such a high standard. And-a for what? Tellin’ Bowser off?”


”The battle was legendary. Don’t sell yourself short,” Geno insisted, cleaning the gun that doubled as his hand.


”I suppose,” Mario muttered.


The door creaked open behind them. Everyone in the room turned to see who had cracked open the door.


”Cream of Supershroom Soup, I’mma not gonna—“ Mario started, before seeing just who stepped into the room.


His own kid brother Luigi had followed him into this more deserted sitting area.


”I... uh, I hope I’mma not interrupting anything, bro,” Luigi murmured, as he stepped inside.


Mario offered his brother a kind smile. “If it were anyone else? You would be.”


”Anyone but the Princess,” Captain Toad said as an aside. No one understood the joke.


”I, uh, I just saw you lookin’ a little down today, Mario,” Luigi commented, idly shifting his weight back and forth. “What’s-a wrong?”


Mario offered a little shrug. Pauline stepped in to assist.


”The people here during Visitor’s Week can be a little... exhausting,” Pauline explained. “Mario’s feeling overwhelmed.”


Mario offered a nod. Luigi looked to Pauline, and then to his brother.


”... So you’re sayin’ you’re-a too famous?” Luigi asked for clarification.


”Hit the nail on-a the head, Luigi,” Mario said. “They-a hold me up to such a high level. It gets... tiring.”


Luigi moved to pull up a seat next to his brother. “Mh, I see,”


”All the heads turn as he walks,” Geno commented.


”It’s like they’re staring at a god, or something... it’s kind of spooky!” Captain Toad added.


Luigi placed his hand on his older brother’s shoulder. “You should hold-a yourself that high too, bro.”


Mario’s brow crinkled. “Why do you say that?”


”Because you’re amazing, bro!” Luigi exclaimed. “Can’t-a you see? You’ve saved-a the princess countless times! Thwarted Bowser, and Kemek, and Wart—“


”Wart was just a dream,” Mario said humbly.


Luigi wove a hand. “It doesn’t-a matter, Mario! You’re... you’re awesome, and you should think-a you are. Heck, you even fought-a tooth-and-nail for me when the announcer sent me away. That’s heroic! There’s a reason your-a stories have transcended the multiverse! It’s-a you! Mario!” The younger brother exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.


Mario, almost embarrassed, cast his eyes downward.


”It’s true,” Geno chimed in, “Even in our short time together, I knew I was within the presence of a man who possessed greatness.”


”Don’t forget! You stopped Bowser from conquering our entire universe!” Captain Toad exclaimed. “You did much more than the Toad Brigade ever could’ve, and you’re just one man!”


”Stop, stop... I’m blushing,” Mario insisted.


”Don't forget how you saved New Donk City from that giant centipede. How’d you even manage that one?” Pauline asked.


”That would be with the help of me,” Cappy chimed in, startling everyone. “Good heavens, I need to work on my intros!”


Luigi let out a good-natured laugh, before ruffling up Mario’s hair. “Uh... little... little embarrassing fact... when I-a was little, I wanted to be exactly like-a you, Mario,” He admitted. “To me, there was no one cooler in the entire world. I-a think the Mushroom Kingdom agrees.”


Mario’s eyes made contact with Luigi’s. The two of them shared a smile, before Mario dove into Luigi’s arms, wrapping his kid brother in the tightest bear hug he’d ever experienced. 


“Where’d you-a learn to comfort someone like-a that?” Mario asked, a laugh to his voice. The laugh felt as if it lit up the room.


Luigi shrugged.


”Only from-a the best,” He responded, before tapping Mario’s chest. 


“You, bro.”

Chapter Text

Idly, Young Link played a song on his Ocarina. The wind instrument tickled the ears of anyone willing to listen in. He played simply for his own amusement. To blow off some steam, really. It reminded him of home.


The same could be said of the friends he had brought along for visitor’s week.


”Sounds like you really haven’t lost that knack for playing, now, have you Link?” Saria grinned to her buddy, as the other kid continued to play. “Reminds me of how you played for me when I gifted you my Ocarina. Though, you seem to have upgraded since then.”


It was true. The cool blue of the Ocarina of Time glistened in the midday sky.


The fields were ripe and green from where they sat in the backyard of the hotel... A stark change to the wintery climate that had plagued them just a few weeks beforehand.


”It’s impressive,” Young Zelda commented, watching how the Hero of Time’s fingers glided across the holes of the instrument. “How did you learn to play so well? Did you already know how to play before being gifted your first one?”


A pause came over Young Link, as he thought a moment of the beginning of his journey. Holy Hylia, it felt like so long ago!


He shook his head ‘no’, and continued to play Saria’s Song.


”Destiny must have willed it so, then,” Young Zelda commented.


Tatl floated idly by the three youngsters, taking in the field surrounding the hotel. With a large tree standing off in the distance, the field felt so similar for some reason...


While the four friends were relaxingly listening to the playing of the Ocarina, a group of Inklings wandered outside. Their numbers had grown recently, on account of Visitor’s Week. The whole group was not present, no, but it was certainly astounding to see.


Saria nudged Young Link, who gazed at the approaching gaggle of Inklings. He offered a lazy shrug, before returning to playing.


”Wow. What are those things?” Saria mused. The group grew ever closer, as if drawn in by the sound of the Ocarina.


”They look like Octorocks if they grew legs and fingers,” Tatl commented.


”They’re not going to start spitting rocks and weapons at us, are they?” Zelda asked, a slight bit of panick to her voice.


Young Link shook his head ‘no’. His playing had ceased.


”They... They look pretty threatening...” Saria muttered. “Maybe we’d better get going...”


”Woomy!” Orange beamed to the four of them. Zelda and Saria nearly jumped out of their skin. Link, on the other hand, smiled.


It was crazy to Link to think that these friends of his could ever harm someone.


Link stood. The two girls and the fairy seemed to watch Link’s every movement, as he approached the squadron of squid kids.


With no hesitance, Young Link and a few of the Inklings exchanged a secret handshake they’d developed in their time here at the Smash Hotel. Their movements were quick and to the point, ending with a chest bump and a squidy ‘BOOYAH’! Young Link wore a smile on his face the whole time, as Young Zelda and Saria watched in awe.


Link looked back to his friends, before motioning them to come forward too. Still, they seemed hesitant.


”No way,” Tatl spoke. “Those things look like they eat fairies like me for breakfast!”


Young Link frowned. The Inklings exchanged looks amongst themselves. The Squid Sisters made a noise as if they’d just been let down.


An idea struck Link, as he looked down at his Ocarina once more. His childlike wonder overtook him, and a new urge overtook him.


Quietly, at first, he began to play the instrument. Both girls and Tatl watched him carefully. Soon, however, the tempo and rhythm of the piece began to pick up. As if to demonstrate, Young Link began trying to dance with the Inklings.


The Squidkids and adults soon got the memo. One after another after another, they began to dance along with Link and his song.


If there was one thing no one could resist, it was the chance to bond over dancing.



Young Zelda laughed, as the blue Inkling spun her round. It had taken some convincing, but Young Link was much too good of an Ocarina player to simply turn down. It would be rude! So, here she was, dancing without regard to her royal status with a creature she’d never thought possible.


The possible repercussions her father may put on her if he found out about this were far from her mind. She was having fun! She was being a kid, dancing with a bunch of other kids.


Saria was no stranger to dancing. Often times, Kokiri Village would participate in village-wide festivals, where the children would prove their talents. She and Link loved these events, as much as Link wouldn’t admit it.


She danced with Pink, and Orange, and even Purple. Saria proved herself to be quite the queen of the dance floor. Even the Squid Sisters and Off The Hook were impressed with their moves!


Even Tatl seemed to be dancing above the heads of the Inklings. They truly were a bunch who loved to party.


And at the forefront of it all was Young Link, playing his heart out on the shiny blue Ocarina. He watched as his old friends and his new friends danced and danced. Link’s heart soared higher than the stars at the sight. It was wonderful, and he loved every minute of it.


”Link! Link!” Saria called. Young Link’s eyes cast towards his green-haired friend. “Come dance with me!”


Young Link pointed towards his Ocarina, as if disproving her idea. He was the one playing! He couldn’t join in on the fun!


Cyan, however, had a different idea.


The Inkling saw the two of them, and put his plan into action. He grabbed Callie and Marie, dragging them up to the front. He only received minor complaints and physical backlash, but when he offered the two divas mics, all retaliation ceased.


”Wow! Thank you!” Saria expressed to her newfound friend.


”Broomy!” Cyan responded, with a smile. He had no idea what she just said, but she sounded happy!


Young Link stopped playing as Saria grabbed him, forcing him into the party.


Callie and Marie exchanged a determined look between the two of them, before getting underway.


With tons of giggles and happy smiles, Zelda, Link, Saria, and Tatl became even closer friends with the Inklings.

Chapter Text

Isaac brushed his hands off on his shirt, as he inspected the fruits of his labor. He had to admit, he was rather proud of the way things had turned out here.


Due to the boredom of the past few days, the sole Golden Sun representative of the entire Motel decided to do a little spring cleaning. It was long overdo, anyway, and it’s not like any of the other trophies actually cared about the pigsty they lived in.


Glacing around the main sitting room, Isaac notes just how near and orderly everything was. The chairs were intact and re-fluffed. The couch was free of any dust and debris. Heck, he’d even fixed the many chips the ceiling had with his growth spell. Sure, maybe not the most optimal fix, but a fix nonetheless.


”Finally. Perfection at long last!” Isaac said happily to no one in particular.


One last quick glance around spied him something... peculiar. A painting over the mantle was crooked. Frowning to himself, Isaac wondered how he could’ve missed such an easy fix.


He walked towards it, reaching up to grasp it...


... only for the rug to give out under him and into a pitfall.


”WAAAAHG!” Isaac exclaimed as he freefell.



Isaac fell for an endless amount of time. Or, well, it had felt endless to the frightened and confused young man. However, after only a couple of minutes flailing around with no regard, he landed.


Surprisingly, his fall was broken by a comfortable mattress. One poofy enough to envelop his body and absorb the impact of the fall. He had to struggle to escape, but managed... only for the rug he stepped on to land square on his head, temporarily blinding him.


In shock, Isaac stumbled forward, falling over himself. The rug rolled off his face, revealing his two options. The first was to climb back up to the motel, thanks to some very rickety ladders... or continue on down the cavern.


”What in the world...?” Isaac mumbled to himself. Rubbing his head, the hero moved to stand.


Down the single cave path, there was an echoing sound. One far away, but close enough to show its intensity. Maybe it was a monster!


The thought greatly excited Isaac. “Finally! Something to do!” He exclaimed. Tossing the rug back onto the bed, and channeling his psyenergy for a light source, he headed down the path.



Despite being an exciting prospect, traveling the cave seemed to be just as boring as going back to the surface. A few times he’d come across a hostile bat or two, but nothing too greatly threatening.


The boom, boom, boom of the faraway ‘monster’ kept him hoping, however. As the growling grew louder, Isaac wondered if he aught to have brought a party of some kind with him.


It was too late for the now, however! He was almost there! He rushed quicker and quicker, as quickly as his legs could carry him. As he approached, he could hear what sounded like talking... and the booming had ceased.


”Be still, Bomberman. I fear as if we may have been followed. Do you not hear the footsteps?”


Shovel Knight?!” Isaac exclaimed, as he rounded the corner. Thinking of it now, he should’ve known. “What are you doing down here?!”


Shovel Knight and Bomberman exchanged a glance between themselves.


”Uh,” Shovel Knight rubbed the back of his helmeted head. “... Did you really ask that? What does it look like? We’re digging.”


”Well, yeah, but why?” Isaac asked. “I thought you only used your shovel for combat!”


”I use it for both combat and digging,” Shovel Knight explained. “And to answer your question, myself and my comrade are tunneling our way to the Smash Hotel.”


Isaac paused his rapid questioning for a moment. “... Wait, really?” Another pause. “Do... Do you have any idea where you’re going?”


”Erm, well...” Shovel Knight started.


Bomberman shook his head ‘no’.


”Just as I expected. Here, let me help,” Isaac offered. Using his earth powers, Isaac ran his hand along the wall, closing his eyes as he did it. The rock seemed to breathe to him... to tell him where everything was.


In his mind’s eye, he saw everything in the dirt, as if it were translucent. Dungeons, lava, sparkly blue gems... but above the soil, he saw something more important.


”That way,” Isaac said, pointing to the opposite wall. “We need to go that way.”


”If you say so. Thank you, my league,” Shovel Knight said, offering a little bow to Isaac. “Bomberman? Bomb away!”


He didn’t need to be told twice.


It took some doing, but eventually the trio broke up into the world above, directly behind the hotel. With the ladder built, Isaac stuck his head out through the hole.


Standing there was an absolutely astounded Tiki.


Isaac offered a cheeky grin. “What’s up, doc?”


”I think we took a wrong turn at the dungeon, Isaac,” Shovel Knight said, pushing his way out through the hole. “Oh, never mind. Here it is. Ah! Fairest Tiki! Hello!”


”Holy crap. Did you three actually dig a tunnel from the Motel to the Hotel?!” Tiki asked. The three, triumphantly, shook their heads. “Why?!”


”Well, it is visitor’s week, right?” The blond asked. “We just thought we’d pay a visit!”


Bomberman enthusiastically nodded his head.


”Wow, the hands are going to be pretty upset with you three!”Tiki warmed, assisting Bomberman out of the hole. “But... While we’re here... Might as well show you around, eh?”


”Yes please!” Shovel Knight exclaimed enthusiastically. 


“Are you alone?” Isaac asked.


Tiki nodded.


”Really?” Isaac asked. “I thought you’d at least be with the one who invited you... Or maybe even that Pit guy.”


Tiki shrugged. “Sometimes I like to get away from it for a little bit, yknow? You three actually woke me up from my nap!” She huffed.


”Were sorry, but you really should see this thing!” Isaac exclaimed. “It’s crazy! We’ve got our own secret passageway!”


”Not to interrupt that thought, but is that not the Pit fellow, as mentioned before?” Shovel Knight asked, pointing his shovel behind them.


Tiki and Isaac turned. Shovel Knight was right. Or, well, half right. There was an angel there... but it was Dark Pit instead.


”No, that’s—“ Tiki started, but didn’t get to finish.


”Hiya, Pit!!” Isaac exclaimed, waving. “Remember me?! I’m Isaac!”


Dark Pit blinked over at the group of idiots behind the Hotel, before turning on his heel, flicking them off.


”Ooftah, what a rude fellow,” Shovel Knight commented.


”Yeah, I really don’t see what you see in him,” Isaac added.


Tiki groaned. This week was going to be even longer than expected.

Chapter Text

“I don’t know, Jeanene. Usually when I try and tempt men and women alike, they melt in my hands like putty. But this one? He’s... different. I don’t know if it’s naivety or some kind of magic, but he’s remained quite resilient.”


Bayonetta sipped heartily from her mug of coffee. It was early in the morning. Or, early enough that only a few of the visitors and their hosts were awake. Bayonetta and her company, Jeanene.


The white-haired Umbra Witch made a face of mild disgust, while drinking from her own cup.


”What? What’s the look for?” Bayonetta asked, arching a brow.


”You seem to talk of this ‘Simon’ person quite frequently,” Jeanne commented. “And yet, I doubt he’s made a thought of you since Visitor’s Week started.”


”Untrue,” Bayo said simply. 


Jeanne arched a brow of her own. “Quick to jump, are we, Bayo?”


Bayonetta rolled her eyes. Summoning a demon hand to grasp across the bar, she retrieved herself more sugar for her cup.


”No. I say it’s untrue because he’s contacted me over the Smash Communicator since,” She retorted. “Sugar, darling?”


”No thank you. I prefer my coffee as my men. Charred,” Jeanne hummed, which made Bayonetta chortle.


The two women continued to converse for a moment or so over trivial matters, before being startled by a rather large bat.


”I thought you said this place was top of the line!” Jeanne scoffed, swatting at the bat above them.


Encircling the duo, the bat finally touched down, before taking a more humanoid form.


”I sense dark magic,” Alucard accused. “Creatures of the night... Succubuses now doubt. Did my father send you here in a frugle attempt to end my life?!” The hybrid ordered.


Bayonetta let off a soft scoff, not batting an eye at the half-vampire before them. “No. In fact, I don’t even know who your father is. If he’s looking for a woman, Jeanne’s open.”


”Hey!” She responded, thwacking Bayonetta upside the head. The classy Umbra Witch laugh once more.


Alucard remained unmoved. “I demand to know who you two think you are!”


”I’m Bayonetta. A pleasure to meet you,” Bayonetta offered a handshake, which was unmet. Rude. “... and she’s Jeanne.”


”Bayonetta?” Alucard spoke, scrunching his eyebrows. “The same Bayonetta Richter tends to speak of?”


Bayo sighed. “Unfortunately.”


”From what I’ve heard, you’re the most wicked creature in the whole tournament. You’re after the whole Belmont bloodline!” Alucard snarled.


”Hm. An interesting prospect,” Jeanne commented, swirling her drink. “Gives a whole new meaning to ‘home wrecker’.”


”I’m not,” Bayonetta responded. “I just think his grandpa’s a cutie. Is that a crime? I find it funny how he doesn’t pick up on the hints I give him.”


”Simon?” Alucard asked, disregarding the rest of the sentence. He stood completely upright, his hair flowing down as smoothly as his cape. “Sir Richter is quite protective of Simon.”


”Oh really? I haven’t noticed,” Bayonetta replied sarcastically. “Could you tell ‘Sir Richter’ to back himself off? He rides my ass more than anything else.”


Jeanne huffed. Subtle.


”You're a demon,” Alucard said flatly. “You have no buisness messing with a family of vampire slayers.”


”Oh, please. I am not a demon. I command demons. There’s a difference, sweetie. Besides, Gamora’s a sweetheart when he isn’t eating entire civilizations whole,” Bayonetta scoffed, raising the cup that contained the coffee to show emphasis. “I’m an Umbra Witch, and I’d love to be addressed as one. So what if I think Simon’s a doll. Do you think anything will come of it?”


”Richter certainly does. Do you mind if I sit?” Alucard asked. 


Jeanne graciously pulled up a chair.


”Thank you,” The half-human said, sitting down. “Richter believes if you are the one to ‘get’ with his ancestor, he will cease to exist.”


“Mmh. A time paradox,” Jeanne commented, sipping her cup. “Classic.”


Bayonetta rolled her eyes for what felt like the eightieth time this morning. “Firstly, he has some nerve thinking my taste is that earthly. Secondly, he already exists. Which means what happens happens, and he still happens.”


”Please, it’s too early for paradoxes,” Jeanne groaned.


Bayonetta and Alucard both gave her a look, before deciding she was right.


”Alas, one shouldn’t go messing with things they do not understand. Take my mother, for example. The love might have been true, but look at the monster she created,” Alucard said, before moving to stand once more. “I will be off now. But please, Miss Bayonetta, do not go messing with mortals. Even mortals who have amassed great notoriety.”


And like that, Alucard was gone, leaving the two women alone once more.


”Now, I want an honest answer,” Jeanne started. “Are you going to follow his advice?”


”No,” Bayonetta responded. “It’s too much fun to mess with both of the Belmont boys. Perhaps only to see Richter’s reaction.”


Jeanne laughed.


That was the Bayonetta she stabbed in the heart, alright.

Chapter Text

Kevin Keene, or “Captain N” as he was more locally known, was in awe, as he wandered the beautiful Smash Hotel. He had been so excited when he received the invitation letter to come and visit. A world filled with video game characters throughout the generation? A chance to reconnect with the N-Team? Free food? Count him in!


”Wow... Videoland sure is different from what I remember,” He mused aloud.


”This isn’t Videoland anymore, Kevin,” Came a young woman’s voice. Beside him strode Princess Lana, who had also been invited to the party. “This is an entirely different universe. This is Smash.”


”Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I almost forgot we were in the game! Let me tell you, I’ve played enough Smash recently to put anyone else to shame!”


”Are you saying this entire universe is a game to you in yours?” She responded, questioningly.


”Oh yeah!” Captain N responded. “A really good one, too!”


”I’ll never understand you, Kevin.”


”Whoa! Hey!”


Both heads turned to see where the voice had come from.


”Is that the Captain N, and Princess Lana?! It’s been so long!” Pit cried out, ditching what he had been doing to join his long forgotten friends.


Pittoo snorted in his sleeping position on the couch with a stack of “Mari-O’s” teetering on his forehead. No doubt the work of Pit’s labors


”Kid Icarus!” Kevin responded, a grin spreading over his face. “Man, look how much you’ve grown! We aught to call you... I donno, ‘Man Icarus’ now!”


Pit let out a good natured laugh, before embracing both of them. “I mean, you could! But I really just go by my name, now.”


”Your name?” Princess Lana said, a tilt to her head. “For as long as I had known you you had been ‘Kid Icarus’.”


Pit shrugged. “I guess my name never came up! How crazy is that?” The angel paused, before realizing he still hadn’t revealed his name yet. “Oh! It’s Pit! I’m Pit!”


”Pit? Like, a hole in the ground?” Lana asked.


”Yep! That’s the one!” Pit said excitedly, bounding with a spring to his step.


”Well, I’ll be!” Kevin mused. “Is that why you aren’t flying around, too? Because you’ve been pitted to the ground?”


”Well, technically speaking, Captain N was non-canon,” Pit responded matter-of-factly.


Before either of them had a chance to question, another voice shot through the crowd.


”Captain N?!” Mega Man asked, amazed. He seemed amazed at first, before approaching and spying that it was, in fact, the real Captain N. “It is you!”


”Rock? Who is this?” Dr. Light asked, following his robotic companion. Behind them rolled Roll, Mega Man’s sister.


”This is Captain N, Dr. Light! Oh, the memories I’ve saved with this guy!” He stated. Flicking through his database, Rock retrieved a number of different memories he’d made with Kevin.


”I think we’ve met, Dr. Wright!” Kevin exclaimed, only to meet a confused look. “Or... perhaps we haven’t? All this dimension travel’s beginning to mess with my noodle.”


Behind the group, the duo of dog and duck that made up Duck Hunt strode lazily. The dog let out a bark.


”Oh! That reminds me! Where’s Duke?” Mega Man asked.


”No one invited him, so I suppose we’re making due,” Lana responded.


”Who did invite you, Captain N?” Pit asked.


”That would be me,” Simon smiled, striding happily towards the group. Behind him tagged Richter, Alucard, and Marina. “Or, at the very least, I was the one who invited Princess Lana.”


Lana rolled her eyes. Same old Simon, alright. “And, as always, I am flattered.”


”Doesn’t sound like it,” Richter commented aloud to Marina, who giggled in response.


”Even Alucard’s here?!” Captain N reacted to the sight of Dracula’s son. “Wow! The whole gang’s all here!... Though, Alucard isn’t quite how I remember him...”


Alucard sighed deeply. “Please. The skateboarding was just a phase. I have killed my father, however.”


There was a bit of stunned silence for a moment, as Kevin and Lana drank in what Alucard had said.


”Alright, well,” Kevin choked out after a second or so. “Moving on...”


“That was... Sickirus.” Pit responded.


Everyone who was in on the joke laughed aloud. Pit, Mega Man, Simon, Kevin and Lana nearly burst their sides laughing while the rest of the guests stared at them in wonder.


”That... wasn’t funny,” Richter said aloud.


”Not... no. It wasn’t,” Dr. Light agreed.


”What do you mean, doctor? That was mega-fine!” Mega Man hardly got out, before the group was in hysterics again. Oh, the golden days were here again!


”I’m leaving,” Alucard announced, before turning on his heel. The rest of the crowd decided to do the same, leaving only the N-Team and Duck Hunt together.


It took a moment to calm themselves, before they finally found their footings once again.


”Oh man... I missed you guys!” Kevin said, wiping a tear out of his eye.


Duck Hunt barked again. This time, Lana tossed his a doggie treat from Kevin’s bag.


”Hm, peculiar,” Simon mused, rubbing his chin. “Why do you have dog treats on you? It seems a little strange.”


”Oh, you haven’t heard?” Captain N asked, before whipping out his NES Zapper. He shot three times, forming Duck Hunt’s foreword smash. “I’m the third member of Duck Hunt!”


”Whoa, no way!” Mega Man said in awe. “I knew there was something strange about how accurate those shots were!”


Kevin blew off the tip of his Zapper, before replacing it.


”Wow... Lady Palutena did say there was a mysterious gunman off stage shooting from afar, but I never thought it was you!” Pit wondered aghast.


”Lady Palutena?” Lana asked.


”Ah, that’s right... you guys don’t know... never mind. Should’ve beat the game. Anyway, Lady Palutena’s the goddess of light, and I’m the head of her army! She gives me tactical insight to a battle, and I pull it off to the best of my ability! We make a well-oiled machine. She’s... well, she’s basically what I devoted my entire life to protecting. Other than you, that is, Princess Lana,” Kid Icarus said, bowing before the princess.


Princess Lana smiled. “I’m glad to see I have such a loyal servant.”


Pit blushed and looked away. That smile could melt ice, he swore. It had been too long since any of them had seen it! “Pff, it’s nothing...”


”I just have got to say, it’s so cool to see you guys again,” Kevin beamed. “It feels like it’s been, like, 30-ish years since we’ve seen each other!”


”That’s a specific hyperbole,” Mega Man pointed out. “Any reason?”


Kevin shrugged, a soft, cheeky smile on his face. “No reason.”


”Say,” Simon spoke, interrupting the chain of thoughts. “I hear that Mother Brain’s been invited to the Hotel for the week. What do you all say we give her the smackdown, for old times sake?”


Everyone gathered gave each other glances, before grins began to form.


Captain N placed his hand in the middle of the circle. The rest of Team-N soon followed.


”Team-N?” Captain N spoke.


”I think it’s game time.”

Chapter Text

“And this—“ Sonic said to his guests, thrusting open the door to the recreations room. “Is the rec room!”


”Wow, you’ve got a pool table?! Color me jealous!” Knuckles exclaimed, rushing over to it and examining it closely. This greatly disturbed the game Chrom and Fredrick were playing. It was alright with Chrom. He was losing anyway.


”Holy Chilidogs, Sonic! This TV’s really high tech!” Tails mused in awe. The engineer within the two-tailed fox wanted to disassemble the machine to see how it worked, but he did have some decency. “I’ve never seen reactors placed in such an order! How does it work?!”


”No clue,” The blue blurr responded, hopping over the couch. “But it gets all kinds a’ channels from all over the multiverse! It can play any kinda movie, too, no matter how they’re stored. Wanna have a look?” Sonic asked, holding up the remote.


”Yeah!” Tails and Knuckles cheered in unison.


”No. We are not doing this,” Shadow stepped in, arms crossed. The signature scowl was draped on his lips. “I came for a tour, Sonic. Not some bad script for an animated series.”


”Awh, c’mon, Edgelord! Don’t you think it’ll be a little fun to check it out?” Sonic retorted, offering his counterpart the remove.


”Absolutely not,” Shadow replied. “There could be a universe where you’re a famous movie star.”


Sonic sighed deeply.


”I, and it pains me to say this, think that Blackhead over here has a point. We’ve got more important things to do!” Knuckles added. “Like, where’s the gym?”


”Or the art room!” Tails added. All this new culture of the Smash universe was almost too much for the young genius to take in.


”Sure, sure. Hold your horses, guys,” Sonic dismissed, moving to stand.


”W-Where is it?!” Shadow all of a sudden cried, patting himself up and down in a frenzy. “Where’d it go?!”


”What’s the matter, Shadow? Got ants under your fur again?” Tails asked.


”The chaos emerald... It’s... It’s gone missing!” He growled back.


”You’ve been in the hotel for how many days and you’re just now realizing you lost it?” Knuckles asked. He, too, joined in the search, lifting couches and chairs in an attempt to find the green gem.


”I had it when we came in here!” Shadow scowled back. “I need that emerald!”


”I-I’ll lock to door, so that no one gets out!” Tails responded, doing just that.


An investigation was underway.



Shadow slammed his hands down on the table. “Where. Is. That. Emerald?”


”’Ow ‘n th’ fok ahm I supposed ya know, ya beady-eyed brainlett? I donne touch th’ damned thang!” Shield responded, crossing her arms firmly over her chest.


Shadow blinked twice at her, before turning back to his fellow inquisitors. Tails offered an open-armed shrug. Sonic kept his arms crossed and gave a crooked kind of smile, confused. Knuckles stared ahead blank.


”Imbeciles,” Shadow grumbled under his breath. “Fine. You’re free to go.”


”Ah, it do seems like y’gots a set o’ brains in that thar noodle o’ yers, do ya? Aboot time y’come t’yer senses, ya ninny!”


”I have no idea what that means,” Shadow admitted. He pointed a fixed glare at Tom Nook, who seemed to melt under the hot glare. “You. You’re next.”


”M-Me?!” The shopkeeping raccoon asked, flabbergasted. “I-I’d never steal from anyone in my life!”


”Reports say you’ve stolen more money from innocent children than Eggman, so that’s a start,” Sonic accused pointedly, munching on a chilidog. He used it to gesture, spilling meat on the desk.


”How...? Where did you...?” Knuckles began, before backing off. He wasn’t the one asking the questions here.


”So, Mr. Nook. You see yourself a priceless gem, and you decide to take it to sell for millions of bells, do you?” Shadow accused.


”N-No! I’m an innocent raccoon, see?” Tom Nook said, emptying his pockets. There was no emerald.


The jury supposed that proved his innocence. They moved on.


”You,” Shadow pointed.


”Ah, a case you wish?” Fawful chortled, taking the seat. “Fawful will play fairly the cheeky game of who-dun-it!”


”I say it’s not even worth asking this nutcase any questions,” Sonic whispered.


The rest agreed, and Fawful’s name was cleared (much to his dismay).


”You,” Shadow pointed.


”I’m innocent. You can move on,” Lucina retorted. However, she did take the chair.


”You're a part of the Shepards, yes?” Shadow asked.


”I was, correct.” Lucina responded. “We slew the evils that plagued the land of Ylisse. To think that I’d even be considered the culprit is unheard of!”


”It’s true!” Chrom called from the back of the room. “She’s a good girl!”


”Quiet!” Olivia, his wife, urged. “You’re not helping!”


Shadow gave a glance between the two of them and their daughter. “Knuckles? Take her in for further questioning.”


”What?!” Lucina asked, in awe. “This is blasphemy! I bare the mark of Naga!”


Knuckles cracked his, well, knuckles, before bringing Lucina away.


Shadow scanned the room. “You,” He directed. “Did you take the chaos emerald?”


The yellow-and-blue villager stared blankly ahead. Those eyes screamed murder if any more questions were asked.


”Moving on, then,” Shadow mumbled.


”Who wants to be next?”


No one jumped at the chance.



Shadow was about ready to rip the quills right out of his head. Repeated questioning of different sources yeilded him nothing.


Between Fiametta’s idle threats and Sumia’s crying, Shadow didn’t know if finding the emerald in question was actually worth the trouble.


An hour had past, and they were no closer to finding it than they were to start with. Mel was asleep on his father, Ken’s, lap. Waluigi was about ready to beat Shadow to death with his racket. Heck, even Mona and 9-Volt were about ready to revolt.


Tails tugged on Shadow’s back.


”What?!” The irritated black hedgehog shouted.


”First of all: rude,” Tails responded. He held up a device in his hand, however. “I repurposed one of those ‘Guess Who?’ board games here and did some number-crunching. Probability points to one prime suspect that you haven’t asked yet.”


”About time. My feet were getting sore from all this body guarding I’ve been doing,” Sonic sassily remarked.


Shadow looked to the ‘Guess Who?’ board, and then to the subject in question.


”You,” Shadow said, a glare in his eye. “Stop wasting everyone’s time and tell me where the stone is.”


Obama chuckled. “You mean... the chaos emerald? Because I just so happen to have one right here.”


Obama rose a green emerald.


Everyone pounced him, sick of all the time he’d been wasting.


”Shadow! Shadow! You’ve got the wrong girl!” Knuckles came out seconds later, followed by an irate Lucina. “She’s—“


The two of them watched the chaos ensuing infront of them. A giant fight of people and animals alike trying to gather the emerald.


Knuckles looked to Lucina, who looked back to him.


”How about we go get lunch?” Lucina offered.


”Way ahead of you,” Knuckles responded.

Chapter Text

The kitchen was a buzz on the final day of visitor’s week. For one last hurrah, anyone with any kind of cooking ability was trying their absolute hardest to make this meal a memorable one.


Toon Link’s grandmother stirred the soup in the pot, before adding more carrots to the mix. This was her darling grandchildren’s favorite meal in the entire Great Sea. She couldn’t wait to see the look on the faces of those around her once they ate it! She took in a whiff, before smiling to herself. A few more spices ought to do it.


Across the way, a Link they had no apparent relation to the cartoony grandma was working over a cooking station. The Hero of the Wild was, to everyone’s surprise, a fantastic chef. Out in the wilderness, one did have to make do.


”My, my! Link, when did you get so good at cooking?” Prince Sidon asked, watching the Hylian expertly add spices to the dish he was creating. 


“You really must tell us,” The Zelda from his world insisted. She studied his motions and methods as if it would be on a test later. “Personally, I miss the cooking you did around the castle after the fall of the Calamity. It was much better than any of the royal chefs!”


Paya gazed on with an awkward sort of admiration. The young Sheikah woman had had a hand in resparking the Hero’s memory, after all.


Link enjoyed the compliments thrown his way silently. Taking a spoon, he tasted his dish, before realizing it was missing a crucial detail. The meat. Digging into his pockets, Link plucked out a prime cut of meat, and threw it into the pan.


There was a brief moment of silence.


”Wow! That’s genius! I had never thought of storing meat like that!” Sidon praised.


”I’m quite impressed,” Zelda added.


Link chuckled softly to himself.


Passing by Link and his friends strode Chef Kawasaki. A hint of the meal Link was cooking hit the chef’s nose.


”Oo, that smells wonderful! You have to let me try!” The Chef called, before moving to his own cooking station.


Readying himself, Kawasaki thought of how to get the meal underway.


”Just what might the King want today?” He hummed to himself, placing his golden pot on the stove to preheat. Flipping through his cook book, Kawasaki marveled.


”Oop! I got it! How about a Dreamland Supremeland? That’ll tickle them taste buds!”


Kawasaki lowered the book, only to find Kirby standing before him, looking up with big, wide eyes. The pink puffball must’ve heard of the meal Chef Kawasaki was planning to make. Beside him stood Susie, who held her own supplies.


”Oh, hiya there, Kirby!” The chef greeted. “... Susie.”


”Please, I’m here to cook as well,” The robotic secretary assured. “And, by the looks of it, Kirby wants to help you.”


”Poyo!” Kirby agreed.


”Ah, alright, alright. I guess I can let the little fella help me out. Kirby!” Chef Kawasaki clapped. Kirby’s attention was fully on the maker of the food. “I need you to go and get me a hunk of metal, three or four Blackholes from the item storage, a tub of glue, and half of Meta Knight’s savings. Y’got that?”


Enthusiastically, Kirby was off. In fact, he was off so fast that he almost made Luigi spill the coffee he had been brewing.


”My! Where’s that bugger of to so fast?” Prince Peasly asked, watching as Kirby sprinted on past.


Luigi offered a shrug. “Kirby can-a be a bit... uhhmm...”


Luigi scratched his head, trying to think of a way to put this nicely.


”Impulsive?” Daisy offered, tossing in a few more beans of different shapes and shades to brew.


Luigi nodded.


Prince Peasly hummed in response. “Such strange creatures you meet in a realm like this one, eh? Here, try this one.”


Daisy took the cup from the Prince, and sipped. Her eyes seemed to light up, as the taste hit her. “Holy Hotheads, how do you make this stuff taste so good? I don’t even like coffee!”


Prince Peasly shrugged, before combing a hand through his louchious locks. “What can I say? Natural talent.”


Brewster, the pigeon bartender of Animal Crossing fame, watched from a distance. He polished the mug in wing, too anxious to approach the group.


Fiametta, however, was not as anxious. She came upon the group, and took the cup from Daisy. She sipped, before smacking her lips.


”Needs-a more cream,” Fiametta offered, before wandering on. She had delegated herself head chef of this kitchen today, and she wasn’t afraid to critique the others on their imperfections. She did know perfection, after all. Have you met her grandson?


She continued to hand out her own flavors of advice. Bowser’s Mooshroom Noodle Soup was too much noodle and not enough mooshroom. Roll’s casorole was uneven. The Pokémon Trainer’s Pokepuffs... She shuddered. Awful.


Only one person received passing remarks from Fiametta.




”See? It’s really simple. You flip the meat and cheeses around in the pan like so,” The angel boy hummed happily, showing Tiki his technique. Pasta was one of his favorite meals to cook, and since there was some kind of cooking frenzy going around today, he was more than willing to make it.


The scent tantalized Tiki’s nose, as the chicken and pork cooked. It was almost too much to resist! Her mouth was practically watering, and Fiametta’s remarks only made her hunger grow.


”Pit? I didn’t know you knew how to cook.”


Both Pit and Tiki turned their heads to see the goddess of light, Palutena, leaning against their station.


Pit was overjoyed to see his goddess, smiling happily and waving. “Heya, Lady Palutena!” He grinned. His gaze returned fixed to the pan in hand. “Cooking’s one of my favorite past times when I’m not defending Skyworld. I mean, you can’t save the world on an empty stomach!”


”I think you’ve a regular cooking prodigy on your hands, Miss Palutena,” Tiki remarked, a coy kind of smile on her lips as she watched Pit cook. The ease with which he flicked the pan was almost show like. It was a good distraction from that pointed, adorable look of determination he wore on his face as he cooked.


Palutena let out a small hum. “He sure is something, isn’t he?” She mused, proud of her little angel.


”Yeah, he sure is,” Tiki agreed, shyly avoiding Palutena’s gaze.


”You should leave the cooking to me!” Pit laughed, sprinkling a handful of cherry tomatoes into the pan. “Remember the last time you tried to cook, Lady Palutena? You almost took down all of Skyworld!”


”It wasn’t that funny then, but looking back at it now, almost losing Skyworld to a bunch of sentient carrots is pretty funny,” Palutena hummed.


”Whoa, whoa, whoa. Run this by me again?” Tiki asked, her eyes meeting Palutena’s.


”Well, it’s a long story... You see...”


As Palutena began the story, a window was opened to the outside, and the delicious scent of burgers and hotdogs mixed in with the cooking of the kitchen. Outside, a handful of dads sat around, grilling and making awful jokes.


Ken hummed happily to himself, as he flipped a burger on the grill. In his hand he held a Soda, occasionally drinking from it or offering it to Mel.


”So, there I was, right?” Chrom was saying, using a campfire to cook. “I was in my bed next to my wife when I hear a rustling. There was someone inside my house!”


”Impossible!” Kamek mused from atop his broomstick. “They ought to know better than to mess with a real tough guy like you!”


”Messing with the Prince of Ylisse? A foolish choice. I hope this coward met his end,” Fredrick spoke, relaxing in his lawn chair.


”I know, right? What a knucklehead! Anyway, so, I get out of bed and grab my sword. Gotta be prepaired, right?” Chrom asked.


”Yosh, Yosh!” Green Yoshi said, in agreement. Baby Mario was sound asleep on the dinosaur’s back.


”So, I head downstairs to where this guy is, and I look out, and I see this guy down there. He’s drinking my milk right from the carton!” Chrom exclaims, poking his meat with his sword to make sure it was cooking. 


An array of oohs and ahhs echo from the rest of the dad squad. Olimar watched fixedly, as his wife cocked her head to the side.


”So I turn to Olivia, and I say... I say...” Chrom paused, as if garnering everyone’s attention.


”How... DAIRY!”


All of the dads burst out laughing, as the story came to a close. This included Chrom, who had been telling the tale. The laughter nearly shook the hotel, it was so powerful.


As all the dads came to their senses, and wiped away any tears that happened to fall from laughing to hard, a realization came to Ken.


”Wait, hold on. Stop me if this sounds weird, but do you guys even have refrigerators in your world?”


Chrom and Fredrick exchanged a glance.


”Erm... No.”


Ken flipped another hotdog with a pair of tongs, before placing them onto a plate. “Doesn’t matter. That was an awesome joke! But hey, these Smashers gotta eat. I think it’s just about lunch time!”


Every dad cheered.


Needless to say, the Smash Hotel ate well that afternoon.

Chapter Text

Out on a ridge in the surrounding area sat Pit and Tiki. Palutena has allowed him to use the power of flight to scope out the area, and Tiki was more than willing to go along with him. It was, in fact, the dusk of the final day of visitor’s week. 


“And that one’s Orion,” Pit hummed, pointing at a constellation that was starting to poke its way out in the warm air.


Tiki’s eyes followed Pit’s finger, as he traced the belt of the legendary hunter. The grass was soft against her back, and the sky was clear. The half-dragon smiled to herself.


”The sky here’s much different than back home,” Tiki commented. She pointed to a vacant spot in the sky. “Right there is where Naga’s constellation would be... and Grima’s would be right next to her.”


Now it was Pit’s turn to watch. Tiki’s fingers drug over where the stars would connect back home.


The two star gazers continued their conversation, as the cool of the night was beginning to settle upon them.


As a light breeze brushed against the exposed skin of faces and cheeks, the two seemed to get subconsciously closer, the archaic knowledge of body heat warming their cooled muscles.


Unknown to the not-officially-official star crossed lovers, there was some Devine intevention close at hand.


”Just to let you know, this isn’t exactly how I want to be spending my last night here. Abusing my powers... bah,” Viridi grumpily commented, as the trio of goddesses and Dark Pit hiked up the way.


”Don't be such a child!” Phosphora retorted. “Pit’s happy with this girl! Don’t you want to make sure everything goes alright?”


”I’m not a child!” Viridi whined, crossing her arms. “Dark Pit! Tell Phosphora off for me!” She commanded.


No response.


”Dark Pit?!” Viridi asked, looking around for the angel. He was no where in sight. “Palutena, where did Dark Pit go?”


Palutena offered a shrug, as she materialized a chair for herself. This seemed like a perfect spot to observe, without making a disturbance.


”Looks like you’ve got to tell me off yourself, then,” Phosphora taunted, lazily floating above Viridi.


Dark Pit had taken to the skies, concealing his feelings and location with the powers of Pandora. If he was honest, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was that he felt. Seeing Pit so happy usually made him sick to his stomach... but there was something about this Tiki girl that stirred his heart.


Was this... jealousy? Dark Pit had to bite at his cheek. Him? Jealous of that loser? No way.


However, being born of Pit from the Mirror of Truth, he did have to begrudgingly admit that he shared similarities with the other angel. He’d picked up on a few, and tried to stop them. They always woke up at the same time every day. They had similar tastes in foods and musics. Hell, they even kept their hair the same way.


Essentially, Dark Pit was the cooler, better looking twin that shared interests with the very one he’d been birthed from... as weird as that sounds.


Pittoo watched on as Pit and Tiki continued their stargazing. At this point, Pit practically had an arm around her, to keep their body temperature stable. He was... conflicted. He hated to admit it, but he was invested.


”Pit?” Tiki asked, peering over his chest to see his face. The angel looked back upon her.


”Yeah?” He asked in return. He readjusted his arm placement so that it was more comfortable. There was no mistaking it now. The two were practically cuddling in the grass.


”I don't want to go back to the Smash Motel tomorrow,” She sighed. Tiki lowered her head onto Pit’s chest, feeling the beating of his heart. Th-Thump. Th-Thump. Th-Thump. It was as steady as a metronome and held no malice within it. “I think I could stay here for a while.”


”Yeah, it’s kinda crazy to think Visitor’s Week’s nearly done, huh? It feels like it just flew right on by,” Pit commented. “I donno why you can’t stay instead of Waluigi... He’s... kinda mean. And you’re way cooler than he is!”


”Yes... yes, I suppose,” Tiki murmured. The steady beating of his heart still echoed in her ears. If only there was some way to keep her own under wraps.


”Ugh, why don’t they just kiss and get it over with already? She’s clearly into him!” Viridi groaned, feeling frustrated.


”Patience, my dearest goddess o’ nature! No good love story’s ever done and over like a flash of lightning!” Phosphora exclaimed.


”Pit’s heart’s often in the right place... but it often moves faster than his mind,” Palutena spoke. “I can sense in his heart the love he has for her. Though, his mind hasn’t quite made the connection yet...”


think I know what he needs. A little floriculture!” Viridi exclaimed.


”Viridi... I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s wiser to let things naturally play out?” Palutena advised.


”Nature’s my thing! C’mon, it won’t be that bad!”


No more convincing could be done. Viridi let out a breath. Through the air floated one solitary rose petal. Taken by the soft Spring wind, it floated gently through the air, before coming to reside fully on Pit’s nose.


”Oh? What’s this?” Tiki asked, spying the petal on Pit’s nose. Taking it, she gazed upon it, before looking back at Pit.


Pit sneezed. The petal had tickled him.


Tiki let out a giggle, before taking the petal between her fingertips and tickling the tip of his nose with it.


”H-Hey!” Pit got out, shooting bolt upright. He was ticklish! The more she tickled, the louder his laughter came, and the harder he tried to escape.


It was no use, however, as Tiki was already holding him down. To the best of her ability, anyway. Tiki herself was laughing like an absolute idiot, before Pit sneezed again. The second sneeze sent her into an even bigger fit of laughter, making her tumble foreward and on top of the angel boy.


The two of them continued their laughing fit, allowing the rose petal to float along on a lazy breeze. Soon enough, they were calming down, but the grind on their faces remained.


”I didn’t know you were that ticklish!” Tiki accused.


Pit couldn’t think of any response. Instead, the Commander of the Army of Palutena smiled like a dopey idiot. “You’re really cute when you’re happy. You’re really cute all the time,” Pit spoke without thinking. It just slipped out, and the minute he’d realized what he said, his cheeks burnt a dark scarlet.


Tiki’s face was just as red. Gently, from her position on top of him, she ran a finger along his chin. “You know... You’re pretty cute yourself, angel boy. And pure of heart, and resourceful, and goofy...” 


With every word she spoke, they care closer and closer. Phosphora fully believed she was in some kind of cheesy flick where animals would starting singing or something crazy like that.


Palutena could pinpoint the exact second Pit’s brain connected with his heart.


It was the second their lips touched.


The rose petal floated through the air, before finding its final resting place beneath a great oak tree. Also under that tree, however, was Dark Pit. The flower petal rested at his foot. Gritting teeth, Dark Pit moves to step it into the ground, before taking flight and leaving. He’d seen enough here.


”Don't say I never do anything for you guys,” Viridi hummed, satisfied with her work.





Pit’s voice was as rapid as his knocks upon the goddess’s voice. Trying her absolute hardest to keep her composure, Palutena walked to the door.


”Pit, it’s late into the night. What’s the meaning of this?” She asked, in her most unassuming voice. Little did Pit know, Palutena knew everything he was about to say.


”You’ll never believe what happened out on the ridge tonight!” He exclaimed, making his way inside.


”Oh, won’t I?” Palutena said. Now she was fully smiling, unable to keep to herself anymore.


It was about time, wasn’t it?

Chapter Text



The announcement rang all around the busy train station. Many “good-bye“s and “see you later”s were being exchanged by the competitors and their companions.


However, there was one glaring exception.


”Where’s the boss at? Ain’t he gonna come and give us a goodbye at least?” Leon asked, leaning on his suitcase and glancing backwards at his fellow Star Wolf pilots.


Andrew shrugged, idly playing some game on his GameBoy.


”It appears he will not be joining us today. A shame, it is. I haven’t seen hide nor tail of Wolf over the past few days,” Panther Caroso spoke.


”That’s kinda rude. Inviting you guys over and then leaving you out in the cold?” Falco chirped, an almost taunting manner about his voice.


”Ah, Falco. Always a... pleasure,” Panther responded, glaring at the bird.


”Come to patronize us on our last day here?” Leon asked, pointedly. “Childish.”


Fox and Peppy came forth to remove Falco from taunting the Star Wolf crew any more. Besides, Falco had some goodbyes of his own to say.


”The nerve of that one,” Panther grumbled. “He always manages to get under my skin.”


”Might as well board the train, if ol’ one-eye’s busy brooding,” Leon suggested, grabbing for his suitcase. “Andrew?”


Andrew looked up from his game for a second, before returning.


”Put that thing away, or so help me—!”


”Excuse me?” Came a little voice.


All three Star Wolf pilots looked at the source of the voice. Isabelle stood there, her paws placed firmly together.


”You’re Wolf’s friends, right?” She inquired, tilting her head to the side.


”I thought we were,” Andrew commented. “The boss hasn’t shown himself all day long.”


”Oh,” Isabelle murmured, a bit dejected. “Well, I apologize that we haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Isabelle. It’s been a pleasure to meet all of you.”


The three introduced themselves as well. Isabelle was her same kind, curtious self, albeit a little disappointed at Wolf’s lack of arrival.


”I wonder what’s gotten into him, and where he’s been,” Isabelle wondered aloud.


”Last I saw him, he was going to some kind of meeting,” Leon explained.


”He also made it very clear that he wasn’t going to see you,” Andrew added, with a nod of his head. His GameBoy was tucked firmly in his pocket now.


”I... I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?” Isabelle asked no one in particular.


”You seem to be a very nice person. I doubt it,” Panther assured. “Perhaps he’s just in a sort of... phase, or something. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. As for us, we must get going. We must assure the best seats for Star Wolf, right?”


The rest of the pilots agreed, before giving Isabelle their goodbyes.


Isabelle was left with more questions than answers.



”But-a grandma! You can’t leave!” Waluigi whined. On his back, he hefted too many suitcases to be healthy. Fiametta simply lugged along her purse.


Fiametta rose one finger, silencing her grandson. “I-a know, sweetie. Imma the crowd favorite. But rules are rules. And I-a don’t know about you, but I-a don’t want to anger the weird people in charge of-a this dimension. Besides. I-a need to sew your birthday present.”


Waluigi let out a sigh, before loading the train with his grandma’s luggage. “Fine, fine... but imma miss you!”


Fiammetta reached up to pinch her grandson’s cheek. “I-a know. Imma miss you too, my favorite meatball.”


Waluigi smiled to the woman who had raised him. “Okay. Imma hope you don’t mind if I-a write home!”


Fiametta boarded the train. “I’m getting old, Waluigi, but that-a don’t mean I can’t read. Write away!”



”Aye, this be the end o’ th’ Smash experience, eh? Gots ta say, it weren’t half’n th’ bad as I thought she’d be,” Shield rambled.


”What in the world does that even mean?!” DJ Octavio asked, puzzled.


Oh, that caught Shield’s attention. She gave a fiery look.


”Oi? Wots that? Ye wanne be th’last squidly skiddy bastard I destroy b’fore I go oan back t’Galar, ahm I hearin’ ye right?”


”What?” The Octopus asked, even more confused. They hadn’t even gotten on the train yet, and something told him it would be a long ride.


”’Wot’? Ah, y’sound loike you’ve been flushed aot ta sea ‘n are tryin’ ta take tha piss outta them sea fairin’ folk, ya headphone wearin’, chaos causin’, fish smellin’, coal haert havin’, good-fer-nothin’, corn-fed, shame o’ Octolin’s bein’, suckle suckle soundin’, loud, stanky, bass fumblin’, outcaest o’ squid kind!”


DJ Octavio could feel his remaining brain cells dying. He wanted out.





The Kid Icarus squadron plus Tiki walked along the station. 


“This week went by wayyyyy too fast,” Pit complained. His fingers were intertwined with Tiki’s, while the other hand was stuck firmly in his pockets. Phooey.


”Agreed! The hotel was so much fun to be in! Going back to that crappy motel’s gonna suck,” Phosphora huffed. That place did not bode well with her.


”Personally, I’m happy with how the week turned out,” Tiki smiled. “Though, Phosphora’s right. I wish I had more time to spend here.”


”I can’t wait to get out of here! There are wayyyy too many humans! And they all have swords! Who organized this thing?” Viridi grumbled.


”You didn’t seem to have a problem with swords when you were making those googly-eyes at Link,” Palutena humorously pointed out. Viridi went red. With anger or embarrassment was up to interpretation.


”Whatever. Just let it be known that I did enjoy it here. Though, it felt like it went on way too long. I think seven chapters would’ve been fine,” Viridi hummed.


Pit and Tiki exchanged a look of confusion.


”Don't worry. I’m just as confused as you are,” Magnus assured the two. “I’m sure it’ll make sense later.”


”I sure do hope so,” Tiki said. The group reached the loading dock, and Tiki’s hand slipped from Pit’s. She turned around to gaze upon that darling face of his. Gently, she stroked a finger across it. “I’m going to miss seeing you every day.”


”Me too,” Pit smiled against the contact. “The hotel’s not that far away, though... and I’m sure Lady Palutena wouldn’t mind if I took the power of flight to come visit you every now and then.”


Tiki smiled back. “I’d like that. There’s only so much you can get from a letter.”


Pit nodded in agreement.


Palutena let out a chuckle in spite of herself. “Alright, you two. This is adorable and all, but I do believe you have to get moving. Tiki still has to go and say good bye to her fighter.”


Tiki’s eyes went wide. She’d forgotten all about Marth! “Mar Mar! Oh no, I must find him at once!” 


She turned to run, before stopping. She almost tackled Pit in a hug, squeezing the angel boy tight.


Pit nearly toppled over backward.


Before long, Tiki was shouting her goodbyes, and running off through the crowd.


Pit smiled like a dope, as he watched her leave.


”Awww!” Phosphora exclaimed happily.


”Yeah. Isn’t love just sickening?” Viridi added.



The train clickity-clacked down the track, as soon as everyone was loaded in. Some where a little happier to be leaving than others, and everyone shared stories of things they had seen at the Hotel.


From Sumia’s story of being startled by a small electric rat to Pauline’s story of an impromptu singing competition, everyone had a story to share, and fun times to explore.


A voice came over the announcements. Xander was here once more.




Bandana Dee was (metaphorically) crossing his fingers at that one.




E. Gadd and Sheldon exchanged excited glances. Perhaps the announcer didn’t know of their... tampering.




Soon enough, everyone was back home. This included Xander, who flicked on the intercom in the Master Office.




”WONDERFUL, THANK YOU, XANDER,” Master Hand said, appreciatively.


”Now it’s going to be so much quieter!” Master Core complained. “Boring! Couldn’t have we just kept them for, like, another week?”




”But... Master? They were only here for a week,” Master Core corrected.




Crazy Hand was busy gulping grandma’s soup, with a mouth he’d made in the middle of his hand.


The guests would be missed, even by the four of them.


Who knows. Maybe there’d be another Visitor’s Week later on.



Chapter Text

In the wake of Visitor’s Week, no one was really sure how to respond. It was as if the air was suffocating with so many people. When they were removed, the Smashers were actually able to breathe once more.


And, subsequently, were bored out of their minds.


”I... Never fully realized how quiet it was in here when it was only the seventy of us,” Marth finally spoke, garnering the attention of those gathered in the rec room. “It’s as if I can think once more. As much as I dearly loved my guests... it may be beneficial that they were only allowed a week.”


”Didn't you invite your wife, Hero King?” Ike asked, cocking a brow.


Awkwardly, Marth mumbled a response. No one heard it, except Roy.


”Yeah, you keep tellin’ yourself that, loverboy,” The 15-year-old laughed.


”I’ve got to say. I love my family, but they can be a handful,” Male Corrin mused, rubbing at the backside of his head.


Female Corrin sat with her feet perched on the coffee table, sucking down a glass of juice. She shot a finger gun at her male counterpart. “You and me both, brother. You and me both.”


”I’m... sensing some familial issues,” Lucina piped in.


The Corrins gave Lucina a look. In that look, Lucina was able to read a simple message.


’You don’t know the half of it, sister’.


”I thought it was a blast to have Olivia here for the week!” Chrom beamed, entering the conversation uninvited. Not that he needed one. “I’ve missed her so much since I’ve came here.”


”Yes, mother was just as excited to see you as you were her, father,” Lucina hummed.


”Is that what they’re calling it now a days?” Male Robin asked Female Robin, who nearly spat out the milk she was drinking.


“Visitor’s Week is a welcome change of pace... but a change that I would prefer stay imperminent,” Ike commented, inspecting his sword. Ragnell was becoming dull from lack of use of the last week. “I’m itching for a fight once more.”


”The fight will come. Eventually,” Cloud spoke up. The Fire Emblem group seemed to jump in surprise. Cloud gave a look around the group, leisurely relaxing on the couch.


”Oh, hello there... when did you get here?” Marth politely asked the surprise guest.


Cloud shrugged. “I’ve been here the whole time, just standing off in the background. You must look closely between the lines to find my presence.”


“Poetic,” Female Corrin commented, placing her empty juice pouch down. “I don’t get it.”


“I... see,” Male Robin murmured. “Pardon me, but are you one of us?”


”One of the ones chosen by the Fire Emblem, that is,” Female Robin added. “You’ve got to be a newcomer. You’ve got the perfect hair to be one of us!”


Cloud rolled his eyes. “No. I’m not.”


”Well, is the hair natural?” Lucina asked, inquisitive.


”Yes, it is,” Cloud answered.


”Do you use an oversized sword?” Ike asked.


”Or magic?” Both Robins inquired.


”I... suppose to some degree in both,” Cloud murmured, shifting the weight of his buster sword on his back.


”Do you speak Japanese?” Roy asked.




”They you’ve gotta be one of us!” Male Corrin mused, excitedly.


Cloud gave the blonde a look. “We were in the same tournament last time. We had rooms right next to one another. How are you still questioning this?”


The Corrins exchanged another glance between themselves.


”Well... You fit the standards,” Chrom offered.


”Doesn’t matter. My life’s been worse than any of your pitiful pains.” Cloud huffed.


”Impossible! You’ve never met Grima!” Female Robin accused.


”No, I suppose not... but have you ever heard of SOLDIER?”


”... and that’s the story of how I got to be where I am today. Any questions?”


For being as quiet and reserved as he usually was, Cloud sure did talk a lot today. He went on and on about the details of his painful life and why he would never be considered a Fire Emblem wielder.


Cloud opened his eyes to check the time. An hour or so had passed since he had began his tale.


... and everyone had fallen asleep during it.


The Corrins took one couch, while the Robins took another. Chrome and Lucinda were curled up together in a sitting chair. Roy was all by his lonesome in a cushy armchair across the way. Ike had fallen asleep at the coffee table, and Marth was no where to be seen.


Huffing to himself, Cloud took his bustersword and turned to leave. The nerve!


He couldn’t believe that they couldn’t take the simple lore of Final Fantisy.

Chapter Text

Snake sat, arms crossed, staring fixedly ahead of himself. Something was eating away at him. An all important question that needed answers, and yet, he had no idea of who to ask. The question had been on his mind for quite a while now, but now it seemed amplified to a degree. The reason behind this was uncertain.


"What's up, Michelangelo? You look like The Thinker! What's on your mind?"


Raising his head off of his balled fist, Snake turned to see Samus approaching him, with a certain yellow mouse perched upon her shoulder.


"Pika, Pika!" Pikachu agreed with Samus, tilting his head off to the side. "Pika Pi?"


"You've got a chatty rat today, Blondie," Snake snarkily replied. Pikachu blew a raspberry. "It's just... I don't know. I've been thinking recently."


"Oh? That so? That's a first," Samus volleyed back.


Snake rolled his eyes. "Yeah." He responded, almost dismissively.


Samus pursed her lips. "Alright. Shoot, then. What's so important that it's been eating up the self-proclaimed 'Master of Assassins'?"


Pikachu let out what must've been a laugh, before hopping down and onto the floor from his perch. He stared up at Snake for a moment, before his eyes headed off elsewhere.


Snake seemed to hesitate for a moment, before speaking. "Some of these fighters are just plain... weird. Having Colonel and Otacon here really put that into perspective for me."


"Like who?" Asked Samus.


"L-Like, alright. I can understand some of the more... 'cartoony' and 'animated' fighters. I understand that Mario and Luigi are just, like, small men. And I can understand that Bowser Jr. and Lucas are kids, right?"


"I'm following," Samus nodded.


"But what about those Ice Climbers?! They've got separate names, but they're always together. Are they kids? Adults? Are they lovers? Friends? Siblings? I just want to know, damnit!"


Samus let off a small chuckle, shaking her head. "Snake, I think you're barking up the wrong tree. No one here knows. Why don't you go ask them yourself?"


"I'm allergic to hammers," Snake sarcastically replied. "Well, if you can't help me out there, at the very least you can tell me what is up with all of those crocodiles around here. I've seen at least three. It's beginning to feel like Fire Emblem but for reptiles!"


Pikachu and Samus exchanged a look between them.


"... Crocodiles?" Samus asked.


"You haven't seen them?!" Snake asked, astounded. "There's the one with the crown- the king croc, I assume- and then there's the one with the pirate's hat, and the one with the white evil-scientist lab coat..."


Samus sighed. "Those are all the same crocodile, Snake."


"You can't be serious," The assassin shook his head. "I know a reptile when I see one. Those are three different crocs."


"Just because your code-name is 'Snake' doesn't mean you're an expert on reptiles, David."


Snake froze at the mention of his name.


"I told you not to call me that," Snake snarled at her.


"That's more canine than reptilian, but alright, fine," Samus rolled her eyes. "All three of those 'diles are King K. Rool. Or Kaptain K. Rool. Or Von K. Roolenstine. But they all share the same body."


Snake scratched at his beard, having calmed down from the previous snap. "Hmm... So he's got some kind of body-modification device, or magic ability. Is there any way I can learn this ability?"


Pikachu voiced his disapproval, shaking his adorable head at the ground. Snake gave the mouse a look.


"I didn't come here to be attacked by a rat the size of a small dog," Snake huffed. "Please control your rodent."


"No no, he's got a point. You are being a little... well, stupid," Samus told him. "I'm pretty sure K. Rool is just bat-shit insane."


"... Oh. So, multiple personalities, then?"


Samus nodded.


"... Huh."


"Any more questions for me, Einstein?" Samus asked.


"I do have one more. What is the deal with Luigi's cat? It's not a being from his world. It's from the Smash world. The only other Smash world creatures borne from this universe are bosses or the Tournament Masters."


Samus scratched at her chin. That one actually was a good question.


How did Meatball come to be?



"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ACCIDENTALLY SHOT A BEAM OF PURE ENERGY OFF IN THAT DIRECTION?!" Master Hand asked Crazy Hand, pointing off in the direction of the boundless skyline. They were in the beginning phases of starting their first ever tournament, and the Smash Hotel was not fully built yet.




"WE'RE ALREADY WORKING OVERTIME." The announcer exclaimed. He had no body to speak of, instead residing in an old radio.


Master Hand stared off at the endless skyline, before realizing something was moving their way.


"I BELIEVE WE HAVE A VISITOR," Master Hand stated.


Just then, the ball of energy smashed into the ground before them. It retained the form that it was in, sparkling ever-so-brilliantly in the crater it had created in the soft dirt.


"GREAT. I WAS GOING TO PUT THE POOL THERE," Crazy Hand sighed sarcastically.


"YOU MADE THE PROBLEM!" Xander shouted. It was no louder than his usual voice.


"Who're you calling a problem?" The orb of energy spoke. All 'eyes' were on it.




Master Hand turned to leave, and the radio switched off. The only two that remained were Crazy Hand and his new core of energy.


"UHM. HELLO THERE," Crazy Hand mumbled awkwardly. "I SUPPOSE WE'RE STUCK WITH YOU NOW, EH?"


"Stuck with me?! No way! We're going to be the best of friends! You did create me, after all!" Master Core exclaimed excitedly. It hopped from the hole it had been in, hovering off the ground ever so slightly. "So! What kinda shindig are you fellas working on, anyway?"




"Sounds fun!" Core mused. "But... don't you think that'll get boring after a while?"




Master Core let out a hum. "Well, yeah, I guess... but don't you think it would be cool to see them take on, like, a big challenge, or something? Like, an unstoppable force! I've heard of these things called 'boss battles' from around the 'verse. It's crazy!"




"No biggie! Here... Here, I'll demonstrate!"


Master Core transformed into Master Beast, and then Master Giant, before returning to normal.


Crazy Hand stared on for a moment, before bursting out laughing.




"Oh yeah! That's a good idea!" The newly born orb exclaimed. "Here, I've got just the thing!"


Focusing all of it's energy, Master Core created something.


A small, orange, white, and black mammal was created. It came meowing into the world, in the form of a tiny kitten.


Crazy stared down upon it.




"What?! C'mon! It's the most evil thing imaginable!" Master Core whined.


"NO." Crazy repeated. The cat that would later be known as 'Meatball' meowed up at Crazy Hand. The hand reached down, petting the cat with one finger. Meatball purred.


"Fine! Whatever! You do it then!" Master Core huffed. "I quit!" I'm gonna go build up the surrounding atmosphere!"




Meatball had disappeared, scampering off after a butterfly or bird.


Crazy Hand shrugged. Oh well. He had work to do.



Samus offered Snake a shrug.


"I donno. I guess all the mysteries of Smash can't be answered by one person."


"Yeah, guess not." Snake mused, patting Pikachu on the head. Pikachu let out an affectionate sound.


Some mysteries could never be solved.

Chapter Text

Dr. Mario adjusted his seeing glasses, reading the latest edition of a medical magizine. Perfectly out of date as it any respectable doctor kept them. His feet were propped up on the table, and in his offhand he held a mug of coffee. The mug read his life motto: “Laughter’s the best medicine”.


Little did he know his leisure time would be cut short.


The Hero of the Wild opened the door as smoothly as he could, given his condition. He was marked up pretty badly. Not as badly as his first scuffle with the Calamity, but pretty scarred up.


Dr. Mario didn’t even flinch. He glanced up from his magazine for a second, before returning. “Fairies are over there,” He dismissed, pointing. “Only if you’re 100% sure you need them, though.”


Link grunted his appreciation, before hobbling over towards the fairy container. The winged creature flew over him, healing him fully. Link gave a thumbs up, before leaving.


”You’ll get my bill in the—... Whatever,” Dr. Mario murmured. “8 years of schooling for what? A fairy to do my job? Bah.”


Flipping through the magazine, Dr. Mario came across a rather saucy diagnosis. Squinting his eyes, he tried to figure out what it was on his page. He pulled out the page, unfolded it, expanded it, and finally unfurled it to uncover a life-sized image of a Toad, stricken with some odd ailment. He seemed... bloated. Like a balloon with too much air in it.


”Mamma Mia,” Dr. Mario mused. What in the world was he—?


The door to the clinic was thrown open again. Dr. Mario yelped at its sudden violence, tipping backwards in his chair and ending up on the floor. His coffee remained safe on the desk.


”Good gravy, man! Can’t you knock?!” The good doctor all but growled, straightening himself out. First his jacket, then his mustache.


”I’m sorry, Doc, but it’s an emergency,” Snake exclaimed.


”Everything’s an emergency with you people. Goodness, what is it?! Does Wario have another rash?”


Both men shuddered.


”No. It’s something worse,” Snake assured.


”What could be worse than... that?” The doctor asked. “You look fine.”


”Not me, Doc. It’s her,” Snake said, with a point. For the first time, Dr. Mario realized that Snake hadn’t come in alone.


Isabelle was along for the ride, but she looked... dejected. Not her usual self. Down in the dumps.


Dr. Mario came from his seat to inspect the saddened little dog. “Peculiar,” He mused, rubbing his chin. “Mhh... mhm, yes. Hmm...”


”What’s wrong with her, Doc?” Snake asked.


Dr. Mario shrugged. “Not my area of expertise. I’m a doctor, not a veterinarian.”


Snake gave a pointed look.


”What?! What did I say?” Dr. Mario asked. “Like I said! I’m not a dog-tor!”


Snake’s look persisted.


”I really don’t know. If I had to guess, it seems to be something along the lines of heartbreak, or loneliness. But that doesn’t seem right.”


Isabelle made a sad dog noise. You know the one.


”Are you sure she’s not sick?” Snake asked, a hand resting on the backside of Isabelle’s ear. “Can’t you admit her, or something?”


”It would be a waste of resources, but I’m honestly afraid of what would happen if I said no, so yes, I can admit her,” Dr. Mario shrugged, noncommittally.


Snake offered a smile. “Thanks. Y’hear that, Isabelle? You’ll be staying here for a little while...”


Isabelle made another sad sound.


”Right. Right after me, Miss Isabelle,” Dr. Mario said, beginning to lead her by the paw towards the infirmary.


Snake watched them go, before turning to leave. He pushed the door open, turning to walk down the hallway. 


There was a presence behind him. A large, scaly presence. Snake sensed it.


He wasted no time in decking the creature, standing atop his victim and holding a scaly arm behind his back.


Ridley had had no time to react to the assault, before being dropped. The space pirate let out a howl of pain, as he was subdued.


”What do you think you are, sneaking up on me like that?!” Snake shouted at the purple people killer.


Ridley groaned in pain. Snake loosened his hold a little.


”I-I’m... hngh!... not much of a... people person,” Ridley responded. “I... have intel...”


”Samus warned me about you, pirate,” Snake spat. “Why should I trust you?”


”I know why... she’s been like this,”


Snake loosened even further. “You’ve got ten seconds. Tell me,”


Ridley gave the assassin a pained, toothy grin. “You know Wolf, right?”

Chapter Text

“Wahahahah! You loose again, sucker! Better luck next time!”


Dejected, Ness left the game stand that Wario had set up. The grubby little man was getting a little money hungry. It had been a while since he’d pulled a quick scheme. He was absolutely itching for a new one.


... and that’s how this stand came to be.


”One and all! Come and-a play Wario’s cuppy-guessy game! You guess-a the cup with the ticket, you win-a fabulous prizes! Two gold coins to play, but you could win up to ten! Wario also accepts rupees, bananas, cash, credit, children, hearts, and solid gold! Don’t-a be the last to try it!”


The prospect of winning such a game was enticing enough to some to try and win. Others, such as the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom, knew better.


Up to the bat swang Mr. Game & Watch, who beeped and offered two solid buckets of oil.


”Ah! Black gold, eh? Wario likes how you think, Flat Stan! Wahtch close, chump! You could-a be-a the champ!”


Wario’s fingers flew from cup to cup, swapping and switching them hither and thither, even adding in some fancy spin moves.


When the cups came to a standstill, Mr. Game & Watch’s head was absolutely spinning. Taking a random guess, he picked the third cup.


”Errrt! Wrong-a choice, bozo! Looks like-a you’re a loser!” Wario gloated, removing the cup to reveal that there was no ticket. “Beat it, bimbo! Wario’s got-a more money to make!”


With a dejected stance about him, Mr. Game & Watch walked away.


Next up to try her hand was Zelda. Surely the holder of the Triforce of Wisdom could beat a puzzle offered by an oaf like Wario!


”Eh? Waht’s that? Think-a you’re so smart, Miss Not-Peach?” Wario said, with a cocked brow. Leaning on one fist, he thrusted the other outward to accept his payment. “Ain’t no free ride, even for damsels! Pay up, buttercup!”


Zelda rolled her eyes, before handing Wario two green rupees. “Do your worst, you no-reason narcissist.”


Wario’s grin seemed to spread. “If you say so!”


His worst he most certainly did do. Wario’s hands seeemd to speed as fast as Sonic. Zelda held onto the cup that contained the ticket for all of a moment or two before it was lost to her.


Suddenly, the cups stopped.


”So! Which one is it, Princess?”


”I-I...” She started, timidly holding back. This was no joke. Zelda pointed at a cup.


”Wrong!” Wario boomed, before exploding with laughter. “Wisdom ain’t-a gonna get you nowhere around these parts!”


”Blasted game! You rigged it!” Zelda angrily accused.


Wario defensively rose his hands. “Well, excuuuuuuse me, Princess! Wario is an honest buisness man! Not-a my problem that you suck!”


Zelda stormed off as Wario happily counted his money. Oh, he was hitting it big, alright!


”Next! Wario don't have all day to-a take your money!”


The portly man picked his nose with his pinky as he waited for the next contestant.


Next up to bat, however, was a bit of a surprise. A tall, purple clad man stepped forth to the table.


Waluigi tossed two gold coins onto the table. Wario looked at them and then back to Waluigi. He scoffed, before flicking the booger at the lanky man.


”Get-a lost, loser,” Wario all but commanded.


”C’mon, Wario... We’re-a better than this!” Waluigi said. “We’ve-a had a few... differences, yes...”


“Differences, smith ridges! Wario’s-a done!” Wario huffed, tossing his coins back.


”Waluigi’s different now!” Waluigi insisted. “I’ve-a changed! No more-a mail-stealing! Or-a catnapping!”


”Bah,” Was Wario’s response.


”Let’s-a make a bet, then. Waluigi knows Wario love-a to bet,” Waluigi offered. If he was honest, he missed his partner in crime. His best friend in the world. That’s why he was here, wasn’t it?


Wario did too.


”I’mma listening, creep,” Wario said, intrest piqued.


”Imma play the cuppy-guessy game. If-a you win, you keep-a my coins. If I win, we’re friends again.”


”You’re on, hoser,” Wario said, straightening himself.


Wario’s hands flew from cup to cup. Sure, he missed being friends with Waluigi, but that didn’t mean he was going to fold like that. No. He wanted this to be a true challenge. It needed to be worth winning.


Waluigi’s eyes didn’t even follow the cups. He wasn’t even paying attention. How did he even hope to win? Wario didn’t understand.


Suddenly, the movement stopped.


”So,” Wario asked, motioning to the three cups before him. “Which-a one?”


Waluigi looked at the cups for a moment. “None.”


”W-Waht?!” Wario asked. “Are-a you callin’ Wario a cheater?!”


”It’s under your helmet.”


Wario paused, silent.


Waluigi gave Wario a look.


Wario grumbled, before removing his helmet. The ticket tumbled out. Waluigi grinned. Wario, too, was beginning to grin.


”About time you do somethin’ right, you deranged lunatic!” Wario chuckled, before squeezing his friend.


The hotel was in for a handful, now.

Chapter Text

“Hey, anyone got another one of these pieces?”


”No, no, no. You’re doin’ it all wrong! Here, watch.”


”Pass another one of them sodas!”


The dads of Smash were hard at work, as was usually the case. Well, most of the time, anyway. Or, well, this was more of a rare occurance. However, each father shared one simple goal in mind.


Build one hell of a playset in the backyard.


The idea had sprang forth when Bowser spotted the wooden jungle gym in the backend of some store in Smashville. On an impulse, the feared and renounced King of Koopas had bought the thing and hauled it home on the bus. He didn’t even get what he’d gone to get, instead coming away with this.


The rest of the dads were more than happy to help. 


“Hammer,” Ken called, and soon, as if he were a surgeon doing a heart transplant, he was handed one by PAC-Man. The street fighter pounded the nail into it’s spot, before moving onward.


Olimar looked at the blueprints, and then to the structure that was beginning to take form. The space captain scratched at his helmet, making no contact with his head, before whistling at his Pikmin. A dozen or so filed forth, and Olimar began to whistle his orders.


”Reminds me of building my Battleships,” Bowser reminiced, taking a slab of wood and nearly knocking a Yoshi right in the head with it. The blue dinosaur wasn’t too happy with Bowser, and rightfully so.


”The king helping to build his own ships? That’s unheard of,” Chrom mused, trying his hardest to screw a screw in just right. Blasted thing!


”Well... no,” Bowser mumbled, turning again and almost smacking another Yoshi. It made an annoyed sound. “I supervised. Made sure no one messed anything up, right?”


”Smart man,” Ken commented. “Why do the work yourself if you could kick back and let the others do it, eh?”


”That’s just called being lazy,” PAC-Man commented. He sure was one to talk, basking in the warm sun instead of doing just about anything.


Bowser tapped his forehead with one clawed finger. “I call it effecaincy, Pizza Head.”


”Pizza Head? That’s a new one,” The yellow man said. “I like it.”


”Probably just about as much as you like eating,” Ken joked. This got a few laughs from the other dads.


Mr. Game & Watch jerkily thrusted a hammer. This knocked over a bag of nails, spreading them along the grass. He had completely missed the actual nail.


Bowser swung to look. Ken and Chrom has to duck under the plank of wood the turtle held under his arm. “Careful, 2D! That cost me more coins than you can count on your judge hammer!”


”So... more than 9?” Ken asked. “Hmph. What could I do with that kind of cash?”


”Buy a decent haircut,” Chrom joked, before playfully hitting Ken in the arm. Both men were a smiling pack of goofballs.


Lucina and a handful of Koopalings watched from a window inside the Smash Hotel. The young woman’s heart seemed to melt, seeing just how happy her father was out there. She was grateful that he had found such wonderful friends.


Bowser Jr., Roy, Morton, and Iggy, however, weren’t watching their dad almost knock out everyone in a thirty mile radius. No, instead, the Koopalings were watching in awe as to what it was that was being constructed.


”That thing looks rad as heck!” Bowser Jr nearly squealed. “We have the best dad ever!”


The rest of the Koopalings voiced their approval as well.


Iggy looked up at the Fire Emblem representitive, before tugging on her sleeve. Lucina, after realizing what it was, glanced down.


”Hey, Lucina? I see your dad’s out there helping build, too... Do ya wanna come and play with us once it’s done?”


Lucina let out a small chuckle, before ruffling the little guy’s hair.


”Most certainly.”



The dads were done within an afternoon. After countless retries and retooling, the playset was finally standing tall and firm.


”That’s way less rickety than before,” Ken commented, arms folded. “Those Pokémon of yours really do work hard, Olimar.”


Olimar gave a thumbs up and a smile, something that was then reciprocated by his Pikmin.


”It looks like we’ve amassed a crowd,” Chrom pointed with his sword. From the tip of the sword, the kids of Smash came to see what the hubbub was all about.


”Wow,” Lucas mused.


”Hey! That’s ours!” Roy Koopa shot defensively at Lucas, who cringed in fear. “Our dad built it!”


”You’ve gotta share, Roy,” Bowser instructed. “I wasn’t the only one who built it. Hell— Heck, most of it was done by the Pikmin.”


The plant boys squeaked happily, high fiving one another.


”Somethin’ get into you, dad?” Wendy asked. Bowser shook his head, before giving them a commanding look. The look said only one thing.




The message was relayed loud and clear, and any more criticisms the Koopalings has were washed away by the look. After all, father knows best.


Besides, the wooden playset was too wonderful to keep to themselves, anyway!


”Let’s play pirates!” Bowser Jr. shouted with glee. The rest of the kids voiced their approval. Even the Inklings, who, in all honesty, had no idea what was going on.


The dads watched as the kids plunged into the creation of their labors. In celebration, they clinked an assortment of drinks together.


From behind, Chrom was hugged. It was a bit of a surprise, but once he realized it was none other than his daughter, he accepted it.


”Did I ever tell you how good of a father you are?” Lucina asked. She loved her dad with her entire heart.


”Between all the time travel? No. I don’t think you ever got around to it,” Chrom teased. “But you’ve proven to me that I know how to raise ‘em.”


Lucina hugged tighter, and Chrom accepted it. Soon enough, however, she released him.


”If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a play date to get to,” She smiled.


”Well, you’d best get goin’! The best treasures are going to be taken already!” Chrom called after her.


Olimar took out his wallet, looking at a picture of his children. Oh, did he miss them. He hugged the wallet to his chest.


Ken clapped a hand on Chrom’s shoulder.


”You’ve got a great daughter, Chrom,” He complimented. “If I had a daughter, I’d want her to turn out just like Lucina.”


”Yeah, I’m pretty lucky, huh?” Chrom smiled.


”I propose a toast,” Bowser offered, raising his comically small cup. “To fatherhood.”


”To fatherhood.”


Each man and Yoshi present drank. Olimar tried, but spilled all over himself.


The fellow men laughed, before thanking him for trying to participate.


The playset, just like each of their friendships, stood mighty and strong.

Chapter Text



“I bet he’s canceling bingo,” Falco snarked.




The system clicked off, and all of the fighters were left in amazement.


... for all of a few moments.


”Oh, wonderful. Hopefully it’s another Plant,” Bowser grumbled, crossing his arms. Piranha Plant snapped its jaws, offended. Bowser shrugged it off.


”I think it’s safe-a to say that it’s not someone we know,” Luigi sighed. “The plant seals that deal.”


”Yeah right! I bet you it’s my girl Birdo!” Daisy exploded with confidence. “Technically, she’s from Yoshi’s world, I think?”


”Birdo’s a girl?” Bowser Jr. asked.


The question was met by silence. No one knew how to answer that question.


”There’s no need to stand around! We’ve got some new blood in the arena!” Richter cheered. It was beginning to feel a bit stagnant around here. Anyone was welcome in his books!


“He’s right, you know,” Simon pointed out. The vampire hunter held his whip at his side. “You’d all better start moving before I have to use this.”


He didn’t need to repeat himself. Everyone headed off towards the entrance to the hotel.



Despite the hesitance brought on by the introduction of the Plant, there still remained an air of excitement amongst the cast at the prospect of having a new fighter. Speculation ran wild as to just who it may be coming off that train.


However, as fate would have it, the train would take it’s own sweet time getting here.


The first hour that past, hardly anyone had noticed. Everyone was chattering happily and excitedly amongst themselves.


”Not going to lie, it’d be pretty sick of Samurai Goroh was here,” Captain Falcon has said. “I know it’s kind of a long shot... but, yknow... I’ve been the only F-Zero Pilot here for... since forever!!”


”Dude, he’s living at the Smash Motel,” Fox pointed out.


”But Waluigi’s here! He was there at the beginning!” Falcon exclaimed.


”Those were... different circumstances,” Fox pointed out.


Captain Falcon supposed Fox was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. Sadly, he slumped into an armchair.


The hours kept coming. Slowly, the time ticked on.


Red checked his watch. It had officially been three hours since they began their wait. The trainer sighed.


Donkey Kong was getting bored. Idly, he played a game on his 3DS, chewing on a banana the whole time. Diddy sat pearched on his shoulder, invested in the game. Diddy Kong reached down to try and play for himself. DK smacked the little monkey’s hand away. Diddy let out a sound, before returning to watching.


More time passed. Still, there was no sign of any Smash Train.


The fighters were getting antsy.


”How long is this gonna take?! My feet are startin’ t’kill me!” King Dedede complained.




”We’ve been patient!” Ridley shot back, angrily. “This? This is pushing it.”


”Hey! Hey, I think I see the train!” Sonic called out, pointing out the window. He was right. Through the fog of the dreary day, a singular light shown through. It was no doubt the light of the Smash Train.


”Alright!” Leaf cried out with joy. “Let’s see who’s been keeping us waiting so long!”


The train chugged up to the front of the Smash Hotel.


... and then blew right past it, without making a stop.


For a moment, everyone stood in a stunned sort of awe. Did the train just pass through without anyone getting off?!


”Is this some kind of joke?!” Snake growled, making threatening hand motions at the intercom. “You promised us a new fighter, Xander, and last time I checked, today isn’t April first!”


”That’s it. I’m about to head out,” Samus exclaimed, hands risen.


Everyone else seemed to have the same idea.


Just as everyone was leaving, there was a noise in the vents above them. Everyone stopped, looking up at the ceiling.


The grater fell to the ground, right in the middle where no one had been standing. And, suddenly, there was something else there entirely.


Dropping from the vents, Joker landed in. Masked and mysterious, the younger man didn’t look up for some time, before swiftly moving to his feet to assess the situation.


The rest of the fighters stood in stunned silence for a moment or two. It was quiet enough to hear another voice coming from the vents above.


”Joker? Joker! Where did you go?!” Wailed the higher pitched voice. “You know I can’t let you— WHOOOOA!”


Out of the vents felt a black cat with white accents, wearing a yellow bandana around it’s neck. The trench-coated young man swiftly caught the still screaming cat before he could hit the ground.


For a moment or so longer, Morgana continued to scream, as if fearing his inevitable doom. Soon, however, it dawned upon him that he was no longer falling. Breathing a sigh of relief, Morgana opened his eyes to meet Joker. There was an embarrassed kind of smile on his face. “Whew, thanks Joker. I owe you one.”




At the announcer’s command, everyone began to clap for the newcomers. Joker graciously took the applause, bowing ever so gracefully.


”Thats one way to make an entrance!” Make Corrin exclaimed.


”Yeah, and it’s about damn time, too,” Ganondorf huffed. The king of evil was not a fan of waiting around.




Joker took in the sight before him. So many legendary fighters! Steadfast, he held on to his heart.


This was going to be one wild ride.

Chapter Text

“Hey, McCloud, doesn’t that new guy look kinda familiar?” Falco asked his commander.


Fox paused over his sandwich to inspect the newcomer. Joker had changed out of his trench coat and into his much more relaxed school uniform. The young man pushed up the glasses, before returning to the homework he had been filling out. Just because he was in a different dimension didn’t mean he could fall behind in his studies!


”... No,” Fox replied, before picking up his food once more.


”No?! The heck do you mean ‘no’?!” Falco demanded. “No one comes to mind when you look at him?”


Fox sighed, placing his sandwich down again before he could take a bite. Again, his eyes returned to the newcomer. Dark black hair, glasses, dark black clothing...


”No, Falco. I don’t see anything,” 


Falco let out a strained groan, as he sat down. “You sure?”


”Yes, I’m sure!” Fox finally snapped. He was hungry! “Are you trying to get at something or are you just pestering me for the sake of pestering me?"


Falco blinked twice. "Really? Wow, the leader of Star Fox, this unobservant? Jeez, who made you leader?"


"My dead father," Fox deadpanned.


Falco put his hands up defensively. "You're right, you're right. I'm outta line. But you seriously don't think that Jokester fella looks like Bayonetta at all?"


Fox glanced over to Bayonetta, who was chatting away with Zelda, before returning to the Joker and Morgana. After a few moments, he shook his head 'no', and finally bit into his sandwich for the first time. Mmh, just like they made it on Cornaria!


"There's no way Bayo ain't his mom," Falco proposed.


"You're outta your mind," Fox spoke, his mouth full. He covered his still chewing mouth with one hand as he continued. "They probably don't even know each other! All those humans look the same, anyway."


"I can't believe you just said that," Falco said, incredulous. "You're tellin' me that Mario and Link look exactly the same to you?!"


"Well, no. They've got, like, different styles about them."


"Then what about Bayonetta and Joey?!" Falco practically screamed. This garnered the attention of quite a few Smashers in the lunchroom, including both of those who were in question.


"Joey?" Morgana asked, confused. "Who's Joey? I didn't see a Joey in the program..."


The cat pulled out a paper Smash Program, and started reading through the names. No such Joey existed.


"I think he's talking about me," Joker murmured to his companion, before returning to his schoolwork. 


"Are you just gonna let him do that?! I swear, Joker, I'll go knock him out for you!" Mona insisted. Joker shook his head 'no', as if to ward off this idea. Morgana let off a sad mewl of disapproval.


"I betcha ten whole dollars that they're related in some way!" Falco bet.


Fox scoffed at the offer. "I bet you twenty they aren't."


Bayonetta strode forth to the table with a handful of other Smashers to see what the situation was about. "Did I hear you calling for me, darlings?"


"When'd your son get into Smash?" Falco asked confidently, rocking backwards on his chair. "Did they make you sign, like, a parent permission slip or something?"


"My s-? What in the world are you talking about, bird?" Bayo asked, absolutely confounded.


A few of the others who had came forth with Bayonetta to the scene put two and two together.


"Wait, wait, wait. Joker's your son?!" Zelda asked the other woman. Link held a curious face, whereas Toon Link was astonished by the news. His face flushed full surprise.


Bayonetta shook her head, absolutely astonished by the accusations. "I haven't a single clue what you're all talking about! I've had quite a bit of fun in my day, but I think I'd know if had any children!"


"I knew you had tainted blood, witch!" Richter scowled. Bayonetta was used to the Belmont's disapproval of everything she did in life, and completely disregarded him.


"So you're telling me you two don't share family trees? C'mon, look at the kid! Josh is the spittin' image of you!" Falco insisted. Fox sat smug, chewing through his well-deserved sandwich.


"Falco's right... The kid sure does look a lot like you," Female Corrin agreed. "The hair, the glasses, the tallness... Heck, he's even pretty good-looking like you."


"Why, I'm flattered, but I assure you there's no ties between us, and this is the stupidest accusation I've sat through since the Salem Witch Trials," Bayonetta said, arms crossed. After a beat, she added, "That was a joke, by the way, just like this entire conversation."

"A ha! joke!" Falco exclaimed, pointing at the Umbra Witch. "Jokester's gotta be your son! The evidence is in the pudding or however that saying goes!"


There was silence, followed by a deep sigh on Bayonetta's behalf.


"Falco, I don't think she's lying," Fox stated. "I'll take my twenty dollars now, please."


"Not gonna happen! I won this round!" Falco proclaimed stubbornly.


"I feel as if my presence is needed over here," Palutena suddenly said, swooping into the group of onlookers. "How may I be of assistance?"


"Birdbrain here won't take my word as the truth," Bayonetta explained, pointing at Falco. "Joker is not my son."


"He isn't?" Palutena asked, slightly taken aback. "Odd, I had assumed so."


Bayonetta was about ready to pull her hair out. However, there were children nearby, so she restrained herself from doing so. Frustrated, she took to her heel, storming off from the astonished group of individuals.


After a beat, Female Corrin piped up, "I think that proves Falco's right."


"What?! No way!" Fox exclaimed.


The rest of the group gathered agreed with her. Even Richter took Falco's side.


Smugly, Falco put his hand out, motioning for payment.


"I'm not paying you for that!" Fox exclaimed. "She said no!"


"She's a liar," Falco hummed. "Now, hurry up and put the ten big-ones there. I'm waiting."


Reluctantly (and cursing under his breath), Fox did just that.


Who knew familial bonds went so far in the Smash Hotel.

Chapter Text



Pit drifted into the stage via Palutena’s heavenly light, while Falcon sped in aboard his Blue Falcon. Both participants were ready to fight. That was what the spirit of Smash was all about, after all, wasn’t it?


Pit stowed himself, holding strong to his bow-sword hybrid. This was going to be a difficult battle. Captain Falcon was no slouch when it came to fighting. He didn’t need his fancy racing machine to fly. His feet and movements were just as fast.


”You sure you’re ready for this, kid?” Falcon called from across the way, tightening his gloves. “Y’know, I’m usually against beatin’ down the powerless.”


”Powerless?! Who’re you calling powerless?!” Pit shot back.


Falcon grinned. “That’d be you, champ.”










The fight was soon underway. Captain Falcon was quick on his feet, quickly closing the ground between him and the angel. This took Pit aback. He knew Falcon was fast, but this was something else entirely!


Raising his swords, Pit blocked a flurry of punches from the Captain, doing his best to keep his footing. He could feel himself getting pushed backwards, and decided to use that to his advantage. Pushing off the ground, Pit flipped backward, showering down a storm of light arrows at Captain Falcon.


The Captain, however, was quick to dodge out of the way. Hopping from platform to plaform, not even a single arrow pierced him.


”Holy cow, Captain Falcon sure is a fast one!” Pit exclaimed, continuing his barrage. With each miss, the distance between him and the approaching force decreased. “How do I fight someone I can’t hit?!”


”Wait for him to come to you,” Palutena’s voice responded. “Captain Falcon’s fast, yes, but he’s often showy. He leaves big openings in a lot of his attacks. Take his Falcon Punch, for example. It’s got a lot of wind-up, but if you get hit by it, you’re going soaring for sure!”


”Wait for him to come to me, and then strike when he’s open. Got it,” Pit responded confidently. In the excitement, however, he’d lost track of where Falcon had gone.


... and ate a knee to the face.


”Wahhh!” Pit exclaimed, being pushed backward by the sudden force of the attack. He rolled for a moment, before hopping up on his feet once more. “Hey! No fair!”


”Cheating on me with the goddess ain’t gonna fly around here, angel boy,” Falcon taunted. He grinned wide, before saluting. “Show me your moves!”


”Oh, I’ll show you something!” Pit all but snarled. Taking his weapon into his hand, he charged the other, disregarding Palutena’s advice. Dashing in, Pit lunged his swords forward.


Captain Falcon saw this coming from a mile away. He back flipped out of the way. What he didn’t see, however, were the pair of feet that soon followed the lunge, landing squarely against the F-Zero pilot’s chest. The wind was knocked out of him for a moment, before he found his footing.


”Lucky shot,” Falcon laughed. “Let’s see you do that again.”


The two exchanged blows for quite some time. Dodging around one another, both Pit and Captain Falcon continued to look for opportunities to attack their opponent’s weak spots. Falcon had quite an advantage, being that he was much faster. Pit, however, was able to follow the Captain’s train of thought. He was in the zone, and, subsequently, in Falcon’s head.


Captain Falcon began to play more risky. He went for things that had high risk, but high reward. More than once Pit felt the force and the heat behind a Falcon Punch. He could swear it was going to melt his wings! It never made contact, however, which was something Pit was very grateful for.


”Hnngh!” Pit yelled, as he dashed forward with his Upperdash Arm. Captain Falcon was but a second too late in putting up his shield, sending him flying upwards and onto a platform. Painfully, he crashed down upon it.


”All luck, huh? What do you call that?!” Pit gloated, triumphantly standing. “Now, let’s finish this!”


Luck, however, was no longer on Pit’s side. Above Captain Falcon, an assist trophy appeared. Falcon grabbed it before Pit could get the chance.


”No!” Pit exclaimed.


Taking the trophy, Captain Falcon released his helper from the glass. “Hah! Two on one! Better luck next time!”


A flash of light ensued, and the assist trophy of choice stepped forth to assist the Captain.


”This might get unpleasant!” She exclaimed.


”T-Tiki?!” Pit exclaimed, as his girlfriend came to realize what fight she’d been summoned into.




Falcon couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. A snrk, really. “That’s right! You two know each other, don’t you?!” He mused. “Welp, rules are rules! I summoned you, so you’ve got to assist me!”


Tiki glanced at Falcon, before glancing to her beloved. Both she and Pit knew what has to happen, and neither of them liked it one bit. Captain Falcon pointed at his watch.


”Well? This is a stock battle, not a timed one.”


Tiki gave Pit a sympathetic glance.


”I’m sorry, Pit.”


Tiki then transformed into her dragon form, to a terrified Pit. He knew her power, and to have both her and Falcon after his head?!


Pit took to his heel and ran.


”Are you okay?! I didn’t hurt you that much, did I?! Did you win the game?!”


Tiki, using the hole Shovel Knight and Bomberman had dug, had infiltrated the Smash Hotel. 


More specifically, Pit’s room.


Pit let out a small laugh, as he rested his head against the (admittedly, rather frantic) girl. “I’m fine. Promise! Pain works differently on the battlefield. It doesn’t hurt at all after you’re done fighting... but no, I lost to Captain Falcon. No thanks to you, that is!”


Teasingly, Pit poked her nose, smiling up at her. Tiki pouted her lip out, tossing her head up and away from him.


”I was just following orders! You know how the Hands get! Falcon summoned me, and you just so happened to be the unfortunate soul on the wrong end of my fire!” She retorted.


”I get it, I get it,” Pit hummed, readjusting his position to look upward at her again. “Fire’s not my favorite thing to be bathed in, but hey. I lived, right?”


”No... I think I did take a stock from you,” Tiki hummed, idly playing with Pit’s hair.


The angel waved a hand, as if to say ‘yeah, okay’.


”You’ll get him next time, right?” Tiki asked, tilting her head off to the side.


”Hopefully!” Pit said excitedly. “Maybe next time I’ll get some assistance instead!”


Tiki giggled, slicking Pit’s hair backward.


“Who’s your next opponent? Maybe I’ll sneak off the trophy list to go and watch.”


”Uhmm,” Pit murmured, grabbing to reach his Communicator. He blinked a few times, before remembering the symbol for the tournament standing selection. Names showed up, but he was more interested in the Photos beside the names.


”Looks like it’s Pittoo,” He answered.


”Two Pits? Oh no! I won’t know who to root for!” The half-dragon joked.


”Knowing you? You’ll make the right choice.” Pit responded.


”... Maybe.”

Chapter Text

It had been a long day for Lucina, but that was to be expected around here for her.


Bright and early, she awoke with a spring to her step. The sun was shining brightly, and the day looked just as promising as any other. The rain storm that was scheduled for today never truly came to effect, and the sun shone brilliantly through the windows of her room.


After a quick (mandated) shower, she was eating breakfast and awaiting the challenges of the day. Idly, she had a chat with Male Robin, but nothing much had came from it.


Oh well. He’d probably forgotten what day it was. It’s not like she was actively looking for any kind of special attention. 


To most, the twentieth of April was a day like any other. To some, it was an excuse to do some... rather peculiar things. But to Lucina? It was a special day.


It was the day she was born, after all.


Soon enough, Lucina was readying her blade for today’s competition. As much as she tried not to underestimate her opponents, today seemed to be an easier day on the Ylissian. A favorable match up against Diddy Kong and then another against Yoshi. If she could keep them at swordpoint, she was a shoe in for first.


Of course, with style and grace, she decimated the poor Diddy Kong, and then fought a hard victory against Yoshi.


Two wins under her belt, Lucina returned to the Hotel victorious and proud.


As she retired to the Hotel, she just so happened to bump into her father. Surely, he’d remember what day it was!


As she approached him, however, she noticed something. There seemed to be an air of concern about Chrom today. A grim sort of worry. Lucina felt a twinge of dread.


”Father? Are you quite alright?” She asked, placing a hand on his exposed arm. This simple touch seemed to jolt Chrom back to reality.


”H-? Oh! Lucina, sweetness!” He said, a wary kind of smile on his face. A facade. “Just the one I wanted to see!”


”Is something wrong? You’re acting... strange,” Lucina pointed out.


”Wrong? No! No... why would anything be wrong?” Chrom asked. Lucina wanted to ask more questions, but Chrom stuffed them out. With a move, he pulled an unmarked cardboard box out from under a table. “I, do have an errand for you to run, however, if you’d like to help your old man out...”


”Of course!” She exclaimed.


Chrom smiled. Genuine this time. “Good! I need you to bring this box to Smashville and leave it behind Gulivan’s next to the manhole. Can you do that for me?”


She nodded again, before taking the strange parcel. Without question, Lucina went forth to fulfill her father’s wild goose chase.


Once Lucina was out of earshot, Chrom let out a chuckle.


Oldest trick in the book.



As soon as Lucina had left, the entire Hotel seemed to be in an uproar, trying to set up for the surprise party of a lifetime. Chrom was at the head of operations, followed closely behind the head of staff Mark. The two men watched over the others.


”Isn't this exciting, Joker?” Morgana excitedly exclaimed. “It’s makin’ me jittery all over! It’s just like Christmas morning!”


”Does that cat of yours ever shut up?” Dark Pit asked. He was in charge of making sure the food was set out correctly. Surprisingly, the dark angel was rather good at it.


”Rarely,” Ren replied with little hesitance. 


“Hey! Not funny!” Morgana huffed. “It’s a big day! It’s not every day you turn... however old she’s turning today!”


Connecting the wires, Joker was able to get the music player to play its music. He breathed a sigh of relief. Good. It didn’t blow up.


Around them, a gaggle of Inklings were in charge of making the decorations. It took them a moment to realize what they were supposed to do, but once they did, they did really well.


Maybe a bit too well.


”Holy cow, you guys sure are going, arent you?!” Richter mused, watching as the Inklings sprayed another banner. “How’re you getting so many colors of ink?! Aren’t you only supposed to have one?”


The Inklings ignored the vampire hunter and continued their work.


Richter shrugged. “Must be an artist thing. Oh well.”


Finally, in the kitchen, three Princesses were working on the actual goodies.


Peach, Daisy, and Zelda were tasked with creating three different parts of the meal.


Peach volunteered to bake the cake. After all, it was her specialty.


Zelda knew a recipe or two for some snacky little things on the side.


... which left Daisy with the main course.


”Nooo!” The princess of Sarashaland groaned as her Ylissian dish failed for the third time. “I swear, it looked so much easier in the cookbook Chrom lent me!”


”It can’t be all that bad!” Zelda hummed, rolling her rolls with a perfectionist’s vision. “Try it a different way this time... I’m sure you’ll get it!”


Angrily, Daisy grabbed for her golf club. “Oh, I’ll show it different alright!”


”Daisy no!” Peach exclaimed, but it was already too late. With a fire burning within her, Daisy pulverized the dish with the club.


... and, to everyone’s surprise, the dish began to rise the way it was supposed to.


Confidently, Daisy puffed out her chest. “Look at that! Not only do I have a green thumb, but I’m a natural here, too!”


”Someone best add ‘beat with golf club’ to that recipe book,” Peach joked... which Zelda soon did.


Everything was right on track.



”Shh! Shh, shh! I think she’s coming!” Chrom excitedly whispered to the pack of people here to celebrate.


”It better be! My knees are getting sore,” Pittoo complained from his hiding spot under the table.


The door soon creaked open.


”SURPRISE!” Everyone shouted...


... to a stunned Wolf.


”Wolf?! Where’ve you been?!” Chrom asked the pilot. “You’ve been missing for, like, two weeks!”


”I’ve been... busy. Sorting things out,” He answered. He gestured to the room. “I, erm... I assume this isn’t for me. What’s going on here?”


”Just planning a party for Lucina’s birthday,” Chrom shrugged. “She probably thinks I forgot... she’s in Smashville right now.”


”Hmph. I see,” The pilot murmured, before shrugging. “I suppose I can help you celebrate.”


”Uh, Mr. Chrom?” Came Morgana’s voice. “... I don’t think your daughter’s in Smashville anymore.”


Following the pointing of the cat’s paw, Chrom turned to see his daughter standing in the doorway, a large grin spreading over her cheeks.


Looks like the surprise was ruined.


”Uhh... Surprise?” Chrom said, throwing his hands up.


It was enough for her. Lucina practically tackled her father in a hug. “I knew you’d remember!”


”Of course, pumpkin! How could I forget? A birthday’s only a one-day thing. Look! I even got your friends in on the action!”


One by one, those who had helped the operation came out of the woodworking. Dark Pit, Both Robins, Daisy, Richter, and more showed themselves, all with a half-hearted surprise as well.


”So far, I’ve got to say, this is the best birthday celebration I could’ve asked for,” Lucina grinned.


”You say that every year,” Chrom laughed.


”Well, every year I get to spend it with you, it goes down as the best,”


Chrom laughed good-naturedly at this.


The rest of the Smashers shared a glance and a smile amongst themselves. Even the edginess of Dark Pit and Wolf couldn’t help but crack for a moment.


But only for a moment.


”Are we going to eat or what? I’m starved!” Dark Pit asked.


”You’re starting to sound like Pit!” Richter jokingly pointed out.


Pittoo shot him daggers in his glare, to which Richter put his hands up. He made a note to never do that again.


”Sure thing! Let’s eat up!” Chrom proposed.


And that they did.


Lucina was truly grateful to have so many good friends.

Chapter Text

Marx: Well ladies and gents, we’ve done it. We’ve finally done it. We’ve breached the hurdle and continued on with style and grace. Look at us go! I am so proud of this community.


Mario: What in the? First of all, it’s midnight, why is my communicator on? And secondly, who the heck are you?


Marx: Yeah, that’s true. But because of awful planning and procrastination that’s when he uploads.


Luigi: ... what? who?


Marx: Audiomedic!


Luigi: That doesn’t help at all...


Marth: Who’s this intruder?


Phosphora: Wait, this thing still runs? Craziness!


Phosphora: Follow up: how do I turn it off.


Marx: You guys seriously don’t know who that is? You’re dumber than I thought. This is all just a story and you’re all a bunch of pawns!


Mario: Of course it’s a story. We’re all writing it as we go!


Marx: No, you idiot. He’s all writing it as he goes!


Luigi: Who?


Marx: Audiomedic, you idiot!


Luigi: Still doesn’t make any sense.


Marx: I-... hngh. It’s not worth it. Just let it be known that this is the hundredth chapter, and he’s all very proud of you


King Dedede: Oh boy. Here we go again. Don’t listen to that purple megalomaniac. He’s illegally insane.


 Ken: Why would this guy be proud of us? We haven’t done anything important.


Ken: Aside from saving Luigi, anyway.


Luigi: And building that playset.


Captain Falcon: Or fixing ROB!


Fox: I don’t know if I’d call it a fix...


Captain Falcon: *Improving ROB


Samus: Don’t forget about how we subdued DK and K Rool


Snake: I forgot about that! That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it?


Kirby: Pussy!


Samus: I...


Pokemon Trainer Red: I don’t think that’s something to be proud of. He probably feels pretty weird about that one.


Marx: Cut him a break! That was the 69th chapter.


Mario: Who?!


Marx: Audiom—,,,,, bah.


Joker: Looks like I’ve been missing out.


Knuckles: Visitor’s week was a blast, too!


Tiki: Definitely


Pokemon Trainer Shield: Aye, it was, wanne it?


DJ Octavio: What is this? Some kinda reminiscent poem? Sick of this chat already!


Marx: I just thought it was common knowledge that none of this was free will.


Meta Knight: If you don’t shut up, I’m going to go over there and use my free will to smack you the f*** up.


Marx: Those are bold worlds for someone within organ-restructure distance.


Meta Knight: duhiroosjdja 


King Dedede: Oh f***, what did you do? Why are his letters bold?!


Marx: Nothing! No reason!


Marx: Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yeah! That’s right! Making you all wake up and realize the simulated hell we all live in!


Ridley: I don’t need to be woken up to know this is hell.


Marx: All of you have predetermined paths set forth to you! Well, kinda. The author’s not much for plans.


Tiki: What in the heck are you talking about????


Marx: Lemme finish, sugar cube.


Tiki: Hmph


Marx: This is all a story, and you’re all living in it!


Mario: Are there readers?


Marx: Fuckin’ of course there is. Masked_Chaos, MarvelouslyKate, VS21, JustAHunter, Bø... the list goes on!


Palutena: You forgot Smoov22, TheCrowBitesDust, Spooky_Willow_The_Ghostly_Pillow, and LoreKeeper7. 


Palutena: LoreKeeper’s especially fond of Pit.


Marx: Most people who read this are. I’m pretty sure they’d all die for him.


Marx: Wait, how’d you know the readers?


Palutena: I read them on the ‘Sponsors’ board here at the hotel.


Wario: Ew, reading.


Mario: Be quiet, Wario. You can’t read.


Zelda: This is pretty earth shaking.


Marx: Isn’t it?


King Dedede: Don’t listen to him!!! He doesn’t know jack!


Marx: I may be insane, but I do know a thing or two about a thing or two.


Dark Pit: Sounds a little far fetched for me. I’m doubting.


Kirby: Ryeeh!




Luigi: I’ve known Dedede for a long time... I think he knows what is what...


Female Corrin: Guys, I think Meta Knight is dying


King Dedede: M A R X


Marx: W H A T ?


King Dedede: Are... are you mocking me?


Female Corrin: Oh I think he’s better now


Meta Knight: F*** you, Marx


Marx: ;)


Marx: I’m telling the truth! You’ve all been living 100 chapters as lovable, stupid playthings!


Dark Pit: You’re full of shit, Marx.


Marx: >:(


Dark Pit: uoydldphhdlp


Marx: ;)


King Dedede: MARX YOU F***


Chapter Text



The voice carried through the halls of the Smash Hotel. A few Smashers poked their heads out their doors, only to see Wario grinning like a madman on a mission. Oh no. That could only mean trouble.


Waluigi, too, was alerted by the sound of his name being blasted down the hallway. Loudly, he returned the book he’d been reading to its slot, and awaited his partner in crime to come forth.


”Waht? Waht is it?” The lanky purple man asked. “You seem to be inna good mood today, Wario!”


”Oh yeah!” Wario gruffly laughed. “Wario found-a somethin’ spectacular! Follow me, you bimbo!”


Waluigi didn’t need to be told twice. Standing, Waluigi towered over the portly Wario, but followed closely behind. Even with the manditory showers they took around here, Wario still had a stink about him. However, at this point, Waluigi was used to it.


The two ventured through the hotel. Wario was absolutely certain as to where he was going. Waluigi could tell that by the look of determination the chunky biker held.


The dastardly duo plunged deeper into the Hotel, down a flight of stairs. Above them was a sign that read ‘DO NOT ENTER’. 


Of course, neither man thought twice about the sign.


”Are those-a cobwebs?” Waluigi asked, pushing through a squeaky wooden door. “Has anyone been here before?”


”Yeah!” Wario exclaimed. “A-me! Wario’s been here! Lookie, idiot!”


Wario gestured around the room. It was pitch dark.


Waluigi blinked twice. “... I-a can’t see.”


”Oh. Right. Sorry,” Wario murmured. Fumbling around, he found the light switch to the room. Instantly, a machine buzzed to life, as well as a long line of fluorescent lightbulbs.


Waluigi’s jaw dropped. “Mamma Mia...”


Before him was a machine with the ability to mass produce Mii Fighters. Every shape and size, with every weapon under the sun. Of course, there was a wide assortment of cosmetics the Miis could also wear. All right here.


”So this is-a where babies come from,” Waluigi mused, rubbing at his chin.


Mii babies,” Wario corrected smartly. “Babmiis.”


”Babmiis,” Waluigi repeated, as if it were the most profound thing in the world. A moment passed, before he turned to Wario. “How does it-a work?”


Wario grinned, before gesturing to a panel of sliders. “Let’s-a make a Mii, Waluigi!”



The work only took a moment or two to set up, and a couple minutes for the machine to complete, but soon enough, two Mii fighters were created. One was tall and lanky, whilst also being deceptively good looking. Clad in purple, the Mii was the spitting image of its creator.


The other, too, imitated it’s creator. Short and stubby, Wario’s Mii wore a cap similar to his signature yellow one. His moustache was seriously underdeveloped. Displeased with this, Wario sacrificed the creation’s eyebrows to compensate.


Laughing wildly to themselves, Wario and Waluigi gandered at their creations. Neither Mii joined in on the laughing, however, simply taking in the surroundings.


If the hotel thought one Wario and one Waluigi was bad, they were now in for a treat. Double doses of dumb.


Collecting himself, Wario wiped away a tear. “Alright, okay. It’s-a almost dinner, and-a Wario’s not-a gonna miss the beef stew night! We gotta get-a movin’. Troublemaking can wait.”


”Agreed,” Waluigi echoed. He gestured at the two Miis, who looked at one another. Angrily, Waluigi gestured for them to come again. “Bah. Just as-a thick as Wario, too, eh?! Get a move on, busters!”


The real Wario and Waluigi had started to head out, and the Miis lagged behind.


As if they had a mental connection, the two Miis headed over to the machine’s sliders. Without hesitating, the Wario Mii hit the ‘randomize’ button, and the Waluigi Mii hit the ‘create Miis’ button. The machine roared to life, and, loudly and slowly, began to mass produce randomized Miis.


The two Miis followed after their creators.


”Eh, Waluigi? You-a hear somethin’?” Wario asked his partner.


Waluigi shrugged. “Bah, must be nothin’.”


The Miis exchanged a secret look.


The beginning was upon them.

Chapter Text

Ren, or Joker as he was known around here as, couldn’t find himself any sleep. He’d searched long and far for the illusion thing, but it never would find him. Morgana would not silence himself from telling Ren to sleep, however.


”What are you still doing up? You should be in bed!”


”Go get some shut eye, wouldja?”


As dearly as he did love his accomplice, he couldn’t help but grow tired of all the reminders. Yes, sleep was important. But drilling that into him wouldn’t make him fall asleep any faster.


After some time had passed and the moon was high in the sky, Ren silently snuck with trained feet from his bed to stand. Mona slept soundly in his catbed. Good. The last thing he needed was another reminder to sleep.


He found his glasses and put him snugly over his eyes, before journeying out of his hotel room. He decided the kitchen was a good place to go when you had nothing to do and all night to do it.


Soon enough, he found himself in the walls of the beautiful kitchen. Something about the dark and the kitchen blended so well. Glancing about, Joker found his eyes wandering and dancing along a few cabnits.


A simple PB&J sandwich would do him good about now.


Reaching the bread and butter, Joker soon got to work. He needed a knife, however, and he wasn’t about to dirty his prized blade for a midnight snack.


He found a rhythm in what he was doing, however. There was a beat stuck in his head. A singing voice. A trembling, beautiful melody. It was a popular song from his homeworld. Just hearing it in his mind gave him a pang of longing for the place he’d come from.


No, he thought, I’m sticking this one through. This is a once in a life time opportunity!


He couldn’t shake the song. But what he could do, however, is jive along with it. Slowly at first, he bopped his head along with the beat, softly humming the words to himself as he prepared his food.


Then, he found himself applying the condiments to the bread at the very same rhythm of the beat of the song. Half-asleep, he murmured the lyrics aloud as he continued to get his food ready.


”... as you look to your horizon... not a cloud,”


The movements in his body, seemingly against his will, became more robust. More dance like.


He had the dance fever now. 


All but abandoning his attempts to make himself a sandwich, Joker began to bust a move right there on the kitchen floor. For a slightly-above-average high schooler, Ren sure did have some moves. With the song hopping around in his head, the boy continued humming to himself, moving through the motions of the song just like he and his friends had done on that one fateful mission.


He moonwalked. He shimmied. He got down with the beat. It was a beat that only he could hear, and really, it was a beat that only he needed to hear. Beside, who else would be up at this time of night.


Aparently, a few people.


”Kid? You doin’ okay?”


Joker’s eyes shot open, as the voice came. Before him stood a plump penguin wearing royal purple robes, flanked by a female tactician and a Mii. Or, well, two Miis. 


Joker straighened up, now fully awake. “I, uhm...”


”Were you dancing?” Female Robin asked, intrigued. “At this time of night with no music?”


Embarrassed, Joker scratches at the back of his head. “... I... yes. I was making myself a snack... I didn’t think anyone would be up at this time of night.”


”What are you still doing up? You should be in bed, kiddo!” King Dedede said.


Ren sighed. “Don’t worry. I know.”


A Mii dressed as a monkey came forth, and took a lick of peanut butter off the knife, before turning and leaving again.


The two Miis flanking Dedede and Robin exchanged a look.


”You must dance more,” Female Robin told him. “That was... mesmerizing.”


”No... it wasn’t that good,” Joker murmured shyly. “You should see the rest of the Phantom Thieves. Even Futaba’s better than I am...”


”I don’t believe it!” Dedede chuckled. “If I warn’t so big, I’d take y’up on the offer to dance!”


”That’s no reason to turn him down!” Robin exclaimed. “You can dance, Dedede! You should try it!”


”Never have,” He mused. “... Maybe it’s about time an ol’ king learn some new tricks!”


”That’s the spirit!” Robin chirped. “C’mon, I’m sure he can teach you!”


Dedede timidly came forth. Joker willingly accepted him.


The trio danced in the kitchen until the morning light. It was a completely irresponsible choice.

Chapter Text

Luigi was soundly asleep in his room. A restful snooze was upon him, and luckily it wasn’t one that others could be sucked into. No, no Marios were running around his dreamscape. Instead, it was a peaceful sleep, filled with pleasant dreams.


Meatball slept soundly at the foot of his bed, curled up in that way cats tend to sleep. Her head was resting under her tail. She, too, was having some fulfilling dreams. Finally catching that electric mouse... she purred happily as she slept.


A soft noise, however, awoke her from her sleep. The feline, groggily, remained still at first, hoping to find sleep once again. She was just getting to the good part! However, as the noise persisted, she found it impossible to return to the slumber she so enjoyed.


Her first thought was to awaken her owner. Surely Luigi could put a stop to the annoying noise that persisted through the night. However, she decided against it. The human wasn’t bothered by the noise. His chest still rose and fell in the blissful release of sleep.


Stretching, Meatball decided to check out the strange occurrence herself. Being a cat, she was rather intrigued. Filled with curiosity, the cat hopped off the bed, and began to walk.


However, her instincts told her to stop. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.


She wasn’t alone with Luigi in this room.


Blinking her feline eyes, Meatball gazed through the darkness to find the door to Luigi’s hotel suite slightly agape. Her back arched, as her hairs stood on end. There was an intruder.


Before she could react, a hand was on her back, gripping her tightly and painfully. Meatball let out a loud, startled meow, before going berserk in the hands that gripped her. She went for blood, but the person or thing gripping her didn’t cry out in pain.


Luckily, whatever it was did seem to feel the sharp claws and teeth of the cat, as Meatball was dropped to the ground. She landed on her feet, hissing. Her eyes narrowed to slits, as she looked up at her attacker.


A glint of a dagger reflected in the dim light of the hallway, and a sinister, unfeeling expression was held on the intruder’s face.


A low groan from Luigi signified that he was waking up. No doubt because of Meatball’s efforts.


The eyes of a Mii stared down at the cat. The Mii realized that if Luigi woke up and reported him, the whole operation would be blown. With a low sound, the Mii kicked Meatball hard, before running off.


Meatball hit the wall behind the bed, letting out a hurt sound. The sound was all that was needed for Luigi to fully awaken.


”M-Meatball?” Luigi asked groggily. The cat wasn’t at the foot of his bed, which was odd. “Meatball? Where are you?”


Meatball let out another hurt sound. Luigi flew to her side, to find her laying under the window. Thankfully, nothing seemed broken in the cat’s flexible body.


”Did you-a fall off-a the bed?” Luigi asked the cat, chuckling to himself. The plumber didn’t realize the severity of the issue. “Silly girl! Be more careful!”


Picking up his cat, he returned with her to the bed. He placed her in her usual spot, before slinking back under the covers once more.


Meatball, however, didn’t sleep. The cat was racked with curiosity. Who was that? Why had he come? Why didn’t Luigi realize what had just happened? Once more, Luigi has fallen asleep. Meatball could tell by the rising and falling of his chest.


With a little pain in her joints, Meatball hopped off of the bed. The door remained ajar. In the mystery attacker’s hurry, he had left it wide open. Meatball shimmied through the opening, and was met by the blackness of the hallway, illuminated only by a few low lights.


It was all Meatball needed to adjust to the darkness.


The cat slunk down the hallway, jumping at every sound and movement she met along the way.


Footsteps. Meatball’s perked ears heard footsteps. Darting her head about, Meatball found no one making them, and deduced that they must be around the corner.


With the skill of a true hunter, Meatball peaked her head around the corner, and what she saw was startling.


In the stairwell at the end of the first hallway and spilling into the lower floor.




Hundreds of Miis, all crammed into the tight space. Some wore similar clothes to individuals Meatball had seen. A particular Mii seemed to mimick Luigi’s style. Another, Fox’s. Still another, King K. Rool’s.


These were no ordinary Miis, however. None of them held the same semblance of humanity as the other Miis Meatball has met. Something about them felt... cold. Unfeeling. Their eyes seemed to glint a sinister orange. 


They all seemed to be staring at one particular Mii. An orange shirted one with darker skin and no hair atop his head. The being radiated pure power, and seemed to be saying something. It was in some language that was alien even to Meatball, who’d met many travelers and fighters in her day. 


Meatball blinked twice, before scurrying off and back to Luigi. He needed to see this. The cat ran as fast as she could  down the hallway, and into Luigi’s room. There, she pounced upon her master and meowed loudly.


Luigi let out an annoyed sound, before moving his pillow to cover his head. “Meatball... it’s 3 AM... I-a don’t wanna play...”


Meatball tried again and again, only to be cast off the bed. She blinked again. Didn’t he want to know?! This was important!!




Meatball turned her head, only to see the door that was open before closed shut. No more milky moonlight illuminated the room.


One of those things knew she saw.

Chapter Text

Richter made his way into the kitchen on a bright morning. Breathing in, air filled his lungs. Clear and beautiful, even for indoors. Today was shaping up to be a good day. 


Humming to himself, Richter grabbed a coffee pot and the coffee maker. He could go for a shot of liquid energy right now. He may be a self-proclaimed morning person, but that didn't mean he was immune to the early-morning grogginess that had set over him. Setting up the machine, Richter leaned his back on the counter, arms back and relaxed.


As he turned, however, he saw that something was... amiss. Behind him was a swarm of Miis. Large were their numbers. Something about them gave off a sinister kind of vibe, but Richter couldn't pinpoint it. How had he missed all these fighters?


They carried weapons of all shapes and sizes. Guns, party-poppers, daggers... some even held simply their bare hands. All of these Miis seemed to have randomized features, no two being the same. Scanning through the sea of Miis, Richter saw what was a familiar face.


"Lucina? Lucina, is that you?" He cried out. Abandoning his coffee for the time being, the younger vampire slayer was overcome with a desire to go and ask the young woman about the strange occurrence. "Lucina?"


This was a bad idea. It garnered the attention of every Mii in the crowd. Richter felt his throat freeze up as a shine of orange hit him. The individual he could've sworn was Lucina turned as well, being nothing more than a Mii-lookalike. That feeling of today being a good day was slowly fading.


"I... apologize. I didn't mean-- I just thought--" Richter sputtered, backing up slowly. One Mii, a young male wearing glasses, a crested helmet, and a permanent smile stood behind Richter. Richter nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to face him.


The rest of the Armii was closing in on him. Richter could feel it. They weren't going in for a hug, either. They held no sort of humanity in those soulless, orange eyes. Richter was gripped with fear, but realized he'd been in a situation like this many times before.


The Mii he'd bumped into tried to seize him, but Richter parried away. The rest of the mob was on him in mere seconds.


A young woman Mii, dressed in black and with purple hair, brandished a dagger at his throat. This, too, Richter avoided, reaching for his own weapon.


The magical whip felt natural in his hand, but its slower attack would be detrimental. Elbowing the daggered Mii, Richter lashed out. It hit one poor fellow in the nose, knocking him backwards. There was no cry of pain, however. Simply a body hitting the floor, allowing for escape.


Richter hurried to seize that escape. Dashing, he dove through arms that tried to clasp him. None quite grabbed him. 


Taking his Holy Water from his side, Richter tossed it at the ground. The sight of the fire ignited an instinct in the Miis to back away. That, and the fact that Richter was swinging for the fences, circling his whip around him as he dashed.


"Begone, demons!" He bellowed, as he dashed to the door of the room. Two Miis blocked it. With one sliding dash kick, both Miis and the door came tumbling down. "You don't belong in this hotel!"


Was this a dream? He hoped and prayed that it was. The wave of Miis followed closely at his tail. Just like the old days of storming Drac's castle. Richter couldn't help but smile to himself.


The smile, however, was short lived.


Richter's breath was hard to find as his shoulder exploded in pain. The back of his shirt ripped clean with two fresh bullet holes- no doubt fired from the malicious-looking bearded man behind him- and so did a crushing realization.


If he died out here in the hotel, he died for real.


This wasn't like on the battlefield. If he was hurt out here, he'd stay hurt. If he died, he was out of stocks forever.


His feet fell heavy, as the rush of pain hit his brain. Soon enough, another hole ripped through his shirt, and another shot of pain overtook him. He breathed in hard, clenching his teeth as he forced himself faster. 


Rounding a corner, Richter tossed four bottles of Holy Water from his sash. The fires roared once more, and no Mii was brave enough to follow where he was going. It was in this moment that Richter found himself a janitorial closet to dash into. Shutting the door behind him, the young Belmont slumped down, holding onto his more damaged shoulder.


He breathed lightly. More footsteps were coming his way. They grew louder, and louder still. He stopped breathing as the footsteps came from right outside the door.


... and, luckily for the injured man, they passed right on by.


He breathed a sigh of relief.


"What are those things?" He wondered aloud. They certainly weren't Miis. In the confides of the cabinet, Richter readjusted himself, sending a new shock of pain through his body.


"Heh, well... This is how I died, huh?" He asked no one in particular. He could feel the blood pooling around him. Warm and wet. The pain was making him go loopy.


His readjustment, however, might have saved his life. As he moved, a medical gauze fell into his lap.


He looked up. This was no ordinary closet. This was the medical closet! Dr. Mario and the clinic ought to be nearby... if he could manage to make it out.


The events rushed by in his head. There was an army of Miis... and they were out for blood. Where did they come from? What was happening? So many questions hung in the air for Richter. Perhaps he could tell the others... perhaps he was their first victim...


Richter groaned, as he applied the gauze to his wounds.


All this for a cup of coffee?



Richter was not, infact, the first victim of the Armii.


Mewtwo noticed it first.


The Armii had an uncanny ability to disappear whenever they wished not to be seen. Where they managed to hide from the curious eyes is still a mystery.


A select few, however, were not hidden.


The replacements.


A Mii dressed and styled to look like Mario sat in his place at lunchtime. Other Smashers sat with the imposter as if nothing were out of the ordinary. They spoke and laughed and made no acknowledgement towards the outsider.


Mewtwo, however, was not so easily fooled. He knew fighters were disappearing. Mario, Richter, and Zelda were of the missing right now. No one was any the wiser, however.


That was, of course, except for Pokémon number 150.


”Where is your master, imposter?” Mewtwo asked teleknetically. “Don’t think I won’t find out. I know you aren’t the real Mario.”


The Mario Mii looked astonished at the Pokémon looming over him. Had his cover been blown so easily? But the rest of them seemed none the wiser.


The Mario Mii decided that one in 80+ was fine by him. No one else would believe Mewtwo, after all. If only one person stated something so odd, surely it couldn’t be true!


Mewtwo, annoyed by the lack of submission, did the sensible thing. Lifted the Mario Mii upwards, using the power of his mind.


This drew astonished complaints from those around him.


”Mewtwo! What in the world-?!” Daisy started.


”Put him down!” Peach cried. 


Mewtwo ignored them. Telekinetically, he communicated again. “In three seconds, your mind will be destroyed if you do not give me what I yearn for. Where is your master, and where are the other fighters?”


Again, the Mii said nothing. It stared dead ahead, right into Mewtwo’s emerald eyes.








Mewtwo’s concentration was broken, as he was inhaled by King Dedede’s absorption. Appalled by Mewtwo’s actions, the King spat him back against the wall.


”What in the Dreamland do you think yer doin’?!” Dedede shouted. “Why on Earth would you—“


Mewtwo floated back to his feet from his position against the wall. There was a stark anger in his eyes this time. “That thing is not Mario.” He communicated. “Those Miis are up to something. Something destructive. They’re depleting our numbers. If we don’t do something to—“


”Get outta my head!” Dedede shouted, flailing his arms about. “Miis?! You’re crazy! There ain’t no way he’s a Mii! That’s good ol’ Mario, right Mar—?!”


Dedede turned, and there was no Mario on sight.


”Eh, musta had to go t’the little plumber’s room,” Dedede shrugged. He gave a pointed glance back at the psychic. “You’d best be goin’ now, before I mallet you silly!”


Mewtwo glared at Dedede, before obliging. Not out of fear, but out of annoyance. Remain ignorant, then, Mewtwo thought to himself, floating through the air. But when you meet the same fate as the rest, don’’t say I didn’t warn you.


From the shadows, a force for revolution watched the creature, and noted him as their greatest threat. They’d failed at capturing or killing the first Vampire Hunter, but the Psychic Pokémon was one they couldn’t afford to lose against.


The Smash Hotel needed to learn a lesson, and the goateed, bald, orange wearing Matt was the only Mii for the job.

Chapter Text

The problem was growing more and more by the day. The machine continued to pump out more Miis. These Miis had only one thing in mind as they stepped out from the machine that birthed them.


Each knew of the revolution even before they were truly born. In the creation cycle, the Miis were implanted with a specific goal in mind. A specific fighter to look for. A certain role to fill within the Armii. Tall, short, male, female, lookalike or not. Every last Mii took up their weapons and mounted an assault on the hotel.


This didn’t mean the mass production machine was perfect, however. In fact, on more than one occasion it completely neglected to give a Mii an aspiration. Being randomized, there was a small chance to be given no goal at all.


A female Mii, endowed with pigtails and a pair of glasses for vision correction, was one of these few. She still bore the tell-tale orange eyes that the rest of the Armii had, but no malice lived within her heart. Sure, she had knowledge of the attack that was planned against the hotel, and she knew where they had kept their prisoners... but she had no intention on helping their cause.


The helpful Mii had a gun thrusted upon her by a fellow Mii. The young man gave her a glare as she took it.


”You’d best get a move on,” the blond Mii with glasses much too big for him commanded in Miispeak. “We’ve got a job to do.”


He turned, leaving the pacifist behind him. The gun in her hand felt much too heavy. Much too powerful. She inspected the gun, and realized it was loaded. She swallowed hard, turning her head to gaze upon the machine that had created her.


One by one, more Miis appeared from the machine. Each of them held no semblance of humanity or remorse. Each graciously took a weapon for themselves, and headed up the winding road before them.


Taking one last gasp of air from the dusty room, the pacifist did her best to blend in.



”Is it just me, or have you guys been seeing a lot more of those little Mii guys around here?” Pit asked suddenly, spying over his shoulder.


The rec room was absolutely packed with Miis. Each Mii tried their hardest to blend in with the surroundings. A gaggle of them surrounded the pool table, playing the game absolutely incorrectly. Another set were at an arcade cabinet, bopping away at some corny game. More still were just... standing and staring.


... Directly at the group of Smashers propped up on the sofa.


”I suppose I can see where you’re coming from,” Palutena mused, completely relaxed. “But even if that is the case, they are just Miis. What could they possibly do to us?”


”That sounds an awful lot like challenging the gods, Lady Palutena,” Pit pointed out, rather fearfully.


”They’re definitely up to something,” Fox muttered. He’d been distrustful ever since one of their kind had impersonated him. “That’s not how you play billiards at all. They’re throwing the ball. You don’t throw the cue ball! They’re plotting something.”


”Yeah, right,” Falco hummed, kicking his feet up on the nearby end table. “Just because we couldn’t see the real you one time you think the end of days is upon us!”


“It could be!” Fox barked back. “They’re plotting, I tell you!”


The Default Mii Brawler hadn’t taken his eyes off the surmounting number of Miis. This wasn’t normal. Every now and then a new Mii would come into the hotel, but never this many at once. Something was up, and this was bad.


”I assure you, Pit, I’ll be able to keep us safe if they are plotting,” Palutena hummed in response.


”O... Okay, Lady Palutena. I trust you,” Pit murmured, sinking into his seat.


”I swear, I see less and less actual fighters every day,” Fox explained. “Have you seen Olimar or Mega Man recently? What about ROB? No, I sure haven’t.”


”You can’t blame that on the Miis!” Falco retorted. He clicked his tongue, pointing at the door of the rec room that had just swung open. “Speak of the devil. There’s Mega Man now.”


Fox looked as Falco had instructed. “Huh. Looks like I’m the asshole here. Heya, Rock.” Fox waved.


Mega Man swung the door shut behind him, before gazing upon the five of them sat upon the couch. The rest of the Miis did just the same. Even the pool players stopped and stared.


Mega Man’s eyes glowed orange.


The hotel was up in flames.


Miis were everywhere. Every race, gender, height and weight. There was hardly any standing room. Not that they’d let you. The Miis were ruthless. Everyone who wasn’t a Mii— and even a few who were— were captured, or worse.


A machine deep within the hotel spouted these nonfeeling monsters. Beside it was a holding cell, where the Smashers who’d fallen victim to the Armii were kept for questions.


A dark force. A strong, dark force. A Mii much more powerful than the rest of them. His face burned an image into the eyes of whoever gazed upon it. He had an army of trained fighters. Fighters who weren’t afraid to die for their cause.


The hands didn’t do anything. The fighters were on their own for this. They couldn’t trust their overseers to do anything this time for them.


Everywhere Shulk looked, he saw his friends. All of them fought their hardest, but for what? One by one, they were overwhelmed. One by one, they fell to blades, bullets, or beatings.


A terrible pain shot through his head.



”Shulk? Shulk! What’s gotten into you?”


The young man blinked as reality began to blur back into sensibility. His breathing was hard, and his head hurt. It felt like someone had clubbed him over the head. With a groan, the Monado wielder rubbed at his temples.


”Shulk!” Male Robin cried once again. “What’s wrong?! You’re sweating! Are you sick, or something?”


”No... No, I’m not sick...” He promised breathlessly, holding up a hand. “I just had a vision. A bad vision. A really bad vision.”


”It can’t be that bad,” Female Robin said, shuffling in her shoes. “Right?”


”Oh wonderful. Another headache,” Dark Pit huffed. How he’d come to associate with these people he didn’t know.


”What could be worse than a day like today?” Male Robin asked. Both Popo and Nana sighed sadly as they stared out the window. Rain again. It was as if the skies would never stop pouring.


”We need to get out,” Shulk said. “Now.”


”What in the world are you talking about?” Both of the Robins asked in unison. Pittoo rolled his eyes, as Shulk began to panick.


”The... The Miis. They’re coming. They’re going to take over the hotel and we’re all going to die.”


”Poyo!!” Came a distressed shout.


All eyes present turned to spy Kirby rounding the corner, practically dragging a defeated Pit beside him.


The angel could hardly stand, and was covered in wounds.


”They... They got Lady... Lady Palu... tena...” Pit managed to get out. “I swore... I swore to protect her...”


Pit passed out in front of the startled onlookers.


We need to leave,” Shulk repeated desperately. “Does anyone know a place we can escape to for a few days?!”


The Robins exchanged worried gazes. Popo and Nana panicked, hustling here and there, crying. Kirby, too, was nearly in hysterics.


Only Pittoo remained stagnant.


”I’ve got an idea,” Dark Pit proposed. “We can take the tunnel to the motel.”


”Good, I like it,” Shulk said. Suddenly, another vision hit him. Miis, by the hundred, rounding the corner after them. A new fear came over him. Hastily, he threw the unconscious angel onto his back, before switching to the ‘Speed’ art. “Go! Go! Go!”


His vision came true moments after shouting the command. In a panick, the ragtag team of individuals sprinted for the back door.


The tunnel was a blessing in disguise.

Chapter Text



Every now and then, he could make out faces.


He didn’t know if these faces were friends or enemies. He hoped for the former, but he knew it was more likely that it was the rather.


He had gone down fighting the forces for his goddess, after all.


Pit fell in and out of consciousness. He hadn’t a clue of where he was. This consciousness was often fleeting, and incredibly painful. What sounds he could make out were muffled and tough, as if he had a fishbowl around his ears.


If he was completely honest, he much rather preferred being asleep. At least then he’d fade into a dreamless sleep where he felt no pain.


The stages of consciousness were painful. The sleep was restful.


In his sleep, he felt a pressure close down on his hand. Instinctively, he weakly squeezed back.


He was alive. As alive as one could be in his situation.


“Run this by me again. What’s goin’ on over there?”


The assist trophies were in the company of strange guests. Sure, they knew these people. They’d assisted them out on the battlefield numerous times. But to see them in such a condition... so beaten and  desperate was a sight to behold.


Knuckles stood at the door to the room Pit was housed in. The bedroom definitely was not accustomed to fitting so many people. 


Tiki sat at Pit’s side, her hand encasing his own. Seeing him like this nearly put her into hysterics... but she remained stoic. There’d be a time for that later. Right now, she needed to stay strong. “From what I’ve put together, there’s a revolution going on.”


”Some kind of revolution,” Krystal murmured. She was encasing Pit’s open wounds in ice. At her side, Riki was using a healing spell on the poor angel. It’s effects were slow. “These are laser wounds. Laser sword wounds. Who are you fighting over there? Darth Vader?”


”That’s just a movie,” Dark Pit hastily pointed out. For a moment, his eyes shifted to Pit and Tiki. A small twang of remorse hit him, seeing how hard Tiki was trying to keep it together. “What we’ve got going over there is real. Someone’s gotta stay off the inter-dimensional cable for a while.”


”She’s gotta point,” Zero said, inspecting his own laser sword. “We can’t help if we don’t know what we’re dealing with. Cyborgs? Robots? Interstellar beings?”


”Yes and no,” Male Robin said.


”What do you mean, ‘yes and no’?” Shadow asked, pointedly.


”This is going to sound crazy, but...” Shulk started.


”Miis. We’ve got Miis.”


All heads turned. A new body has appeared within the motel, and it wasn’t an assist trophy.


Joker strode in, with Morgana on his shoulder.


There was a brief moment as everyone took in the newcomer.


Finally, Ashley spoke up. “Who’s this joker?”


”Exactly,” Female Robin murmured, paying no mind to the little witch. “But how in the world did you know this place existed? And how did you get here so fast?! You just came into our lives, like, last week!”


”I turned into a van!” Morgana piped up. 


Another moment of stunned silence came over them. Joker rolled his eyes.


”I know a lot of things,” Joker said. “... and I also know that fourty-odd people won’t be enough to deal with what we have at hand. That’s why I brought a few more friends.”


Dramatically, Joker gestured behind him. Timidly, Luigi walked in, Meatball perched upon his shoulder. After the green plumber followed Ken and Ryu. Finally, Rosalina filed in with Lucas close in tow. The young boy stuck timidly to his surrogate mother’s side.


“These were the ones I could convince to come with.” Joker offered. “I’m sure others will come, but at that time it may be too late.”


”They... They took Daisy...” Luigi jittered. “The only reason I’m here... is Meatball.”


The cat purred on her owner’s shoulder.


”Our army grows,” Pittoo responded sarcastically. “But it doesn’t do jack shit if we don’t have a plan. There’s too many of them! And something tells us two literal children in snow suits aren’t going to take down an army.”


Popo and Nana both made offended noises.


”Did someone say plan?” Both Robins said aloud.


”We do have two tacticians and a seer,” Ken pointed out. 


“And Kirby,” Shulk added. The pink ball was watching the Prince of Sablé. Something about the frog form made Kirby happy!


”Well then?” Rodin spoke, cracking his knuckles. “Let’s get thinking. I’ve got Mii ass to kick.”


And so the plotting began.


Nearby, a traitorous Mii spied in. The pigtailed Mii yearned to help, but was afraid.


Sighing, she headed away. Perhaps another day.



At the hotel, the Revolution held council.


”We need to redouble our efforts,” Matt demanded, slamming his fist down on the table. A glass shattered nearby him, sending water spilling onto the floor. “You’ve already let too many get away, and too many are living in freedom.”


”What are you talking about?!” Karen, a high-ranking official responded. “Every one of those little idiots you’ve sent me after I’ve gotten! Ness, Bowser Jr., Lucina... All of them!”


”Yes, Karen, we understand,” Obama sighed, playing with a nearby pencil. “You’re good at taking kids. Isn’t there some kind of... uh... diplomatic approach we can take to this?”


”Absolutely not,” Matt responded. “You believe those savages would allow that? They kept us locked up in that bunker for ages! It’s about time we take what’s ours. Those damn hands are next, after we do away with their playthings!”


”Right, I understand,” Obama said, “but is it worth it to keep throwing our own kind away like this?”


”It’s for the betterment of Mii kind,” Karen piped in. “Right, Alice?”


Karen nudged another woman who sat right next to her. Alice nodded her haid at that, not wanting to speak out of turn. In all reality, Karen scared the absolute shit out of her.


Obama sighed, rubbing his forehead. Bunch of warmongers is what they were.


”As long as I ain’t dyin’, that’s fine by Mii,” Came a relaxed voice. Jace, the resident self-proclaimed ‘wave of good vibes’ was at his usual spot. Feet kicked up, hair parted down the middle.


”It sounds as if the coucil is in agreement, then,” Matt said, a sinister kind of smile on his face. “Tomorrow, then, we—“


The door to the meeting room swung open. There stood a shorter girl. Dimpled and hair the color of mud, she stood with something in her hands.


”Peepee?! Who in the—?!” Matt cried out. Angrily, he reached under the table for a second glass, just to toss it at the floor. “Is there any securitmii?! Can anyone just walk in here?!”


Peepee came forward, revealing what she had found. An orb, shining and white.


”My, my? What is this?” Matt asked, taking the ball into his hands.


”H-Hey! You put me down!”





”YES, XANDER? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT? CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?” Master Hand responded. Indeed he was busy. Busy doing a crossword.








”HEY, FELLAS?! CAN YOU QUIT YOUR SQUABBLIN’ FOR JUST ONE MINUTE? WE GOTTA SITUATION,” Crazy Hand interjected. Coming forth, he tossed a ball to the ground. From this ball there came a vision. A vision of the revolution at hand. “DO YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO STEP IN HERE?”


Master Hand and the announcer were silent for a moment.


After that moment, all three burst into laughter.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe I lied to him... I broke my promise, all out of my own arrogance. And now look at me.”


Palutena was grieving, and grieving hard. She’d been spared, yes, but it wasn’t an easy spare. Far from it. The holding cell was not becoming of the goddess of light. To think she’d been placed in here by an army of Miis was an insult on top of an injury.


Luckily for the Miis, the Hotel did, in fact, have a jail. It hadn’t been used in a long, long time. It was located down the hallway from the Mii machine, in a desolate part of the basement.


A part of the hotel no one would come unless they were stupid, or adventure hungry.


“You aren’t a failure just because you failed,” Lucina assured from her own cell. The daughter of Chrom was doing her own lamenting, sitting in her much-too-uncomfortable bed.


”That is literally the textbook definition of a failure,” Meta Knight spoke. He felt naked without Galaxia, and it angered him. “You are a failure. I am a failure. We have all failed our fellow competitors.”


”Shut up!” Lucina whisper-yelled through her teeth, “You’re not helping!”


”He’s right,” Daisy muttered. She nursed wounds, being given just enough medicine to not bleed out. She’d fought tooth-and-nail to not be here. It didn’t work. “We’re failures. But you’ve just gotta keep that hope up. Luigi and Pit are out there, with who knows how many others! They’ll right these wrongs.”


”Or they’re dead,” Meta Knight said, bluntly.


”Yes, of course. Or they’re d—!! No!!” Daisy huffed. “They’re fine! I betcha they’re mounting an attack of their own!”


”Hey, Palutena? Can’t you just do that mimbly-bimbly communications thingy with the kid?” Falco asked. The space pilot was taking his entrapment rather well. Maybe it was the fact that he’d always been rather fond of cages.


”I’ve tried,” Palutena spoke. “I don’t know if it’s the room we’re in, the fact that they took my staff away, or something... worse, but I can’t get through to Pit. I hope he’s okay, wherever he is.”


“Hey, I’m sure he is,” Lucina offered.


Roy groaned. “This sucks! How am I ever going to get any sleep now?”


”With your eyes shut?” Mario offered. Olimar chuckled silently to himself.


”Wherever he is, I hope he’s in good hands,” Palutena murmured.


A door swung open to the holding cells. It was a warden Mii named Jacob with another prisoner.




”Hero King?!” Roy and Lucina both said in unison. “They’ve gotten you too?!”


Forcefully, the beaten Marth was forced into a cell adjacent to Palutena. He was the worst off of the bunch, hardly able to sit up.


”Like I said,” Meta Knight spoke up, sharpening an imaginary sword. “We. Are. Screwed.”


“Mayor? Mayor? Where are you?”


Isabelle was out on her usual walk. Dr. Mario had cleared her to take these every day, to help with the stress she had been experiencing. Often times, the mayor, Snake, or a different villager would join her on these walks. However, recently, she’d seen them less and less.


Her separation anxiety was growing more and more by the day. First Wolf, now this? She was determined to find either of them. However, she knew the former was a wider shot than anything.


As she wandered the hallways, she took note of just how... empty, they had become. Unbenounced to her, Matt and his Armii had redoubled their efforts. They wished to take over the entire hotel by the end of the month. To do this, Mii creation was ramped up... and Smasher survival rate was down.


All according to plan.


”Mayor? Wolf? Snake?”


Her voice echoed. Hastening her step, she found herself rounding a corner. There, in some (admittedly, rather ominous) hotel lighting stood the backs of a few familiar faces. Or, well, she assumed they’d have familiar faces. Their builds were similar to the villagers she knew.


”There you are! It’s been much too long since we’ve spoken!” Isabelle said excitedly, all but rushing up on the group before her. She was overjoyed. So overjoyed that she didn’t stop her stride until she was but a few feet away from them.


A scent hit her doggy nose. She sniffed it, before a crushing realization came over her.


These were not the villagers she knew. 


They reaked of malice.


The 8 Miis turned around, each with a dead look in their eyes. The sight gave Isabelle a fright, causing her to nearly tumble backwards. The red villager Mii, with a killer glare in his eye, stepped closer to the dog, gun in hand.


Isabelle let out a shout. A yip. Was this some kind of nightmare?!


Kngh. Pew.


A shot rang out. Isabelle cringed with fear, balling up on herself. However, she felt no pain.


Instead, a body of a Mii fell to the floor, before being reduced to ash. Startled by the suddenness of the shot, the rest of the Miis turned their heads.


Behind them stood Wolf and a handful of villagers.


”I don’t have time for a one-liner,” Wolf growled baring his teeth and claws. The three actual villagers brandished their axes. “But I’ve won harder.”


Wolf and the villagers got to work on the imposters. Their work was done in minutes, leaving them with only handfuls of ashes to show for it.


It’s about fricking darn time you show up!!” Isabelle shouted, in tears. She ran forward to embrace the four of them.


”Yeah, yeah. I saw you were busy with someone else,” Wolf murmured.


”What?” Isabelle asked.


”I saw that you—“


”Wait. Wait. D-Do you smell that?!”


Wolf sniffed the air. The three villagers did just the same. Unlike Wolf, they didn’t smell anything.


Wolf’s eyes grew. “There’s more?!”


”We don’t have time for this,” Isabelle breathed out. Taking out her fishing rod, she hooked Wolf with it. “We need Lloid Rockets! Now!”


”Hey, what’s with the—?!” Wolf asked. He didn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence, before all the villagers and Isabelle took out their rockets.


Off they fired down the hallway, plowing through barricades left and right, and giving Wolf multiple concussions. Probably. He does have a pretty thick skull.


Served him right for being an idiot.


Finally, they were free of the Hotel’s walls, and surrounded by dense trees.


”Looks like the rockets were a bit too powerful...” Isabelle murmured shyly.


With no idea where they were or where to go, the five of them headed out in search of anything that could help the cause.


Another adventure was at hand.



With no idea where to go or what to do, the traitorous pigtailed Mii wandered the hotel grounds. She didn’t want to be here. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to have been created. If she was simply made to serve this unjust purpose, she’d have been better off not made at all.


As she wandered, she came upon a strange looking building. It bore the telltale sign that it was a Smash building, with the logo atop its door. The building intrigued her, and made her wish to investigate.


As she came in, however, she cane to realize that she wasn’t the only one who was curious.


Matt must’ve known of this building. It was crawling with his goons and cronies, and with good reason, too. Items sprawled the walls. All of them were a button press away from being sent onto a battlefield.


And the Miis were taking them all.


The pigtailed Mii snuck her way upstairs, not alerting anyone in the area. Somehow. This surprised even herself.


On the top level, she found herself cornered in a long hallway, periodically patrolled by Miis with that sinister orange glow. Each heaved a heavy sack upon their back.


With no other option for escape, the traitor did the unthinkable.


She stuck out her foot from behind a curtain and tripped a Mii carrying a bag.


He tumbled away, down a flight of stairs. The traitor Mii made note to appologize later, if there was a later.


She rushed forward to reach for the bag. If nothing else, she could give this bag to the motel as assistance. She hoped the items in the bag would help their circumstance.


As she reached down to pick up the bag, another hand met hers. A chill went up her back, and the chill increased as her eyes rose to see who she was.


It was Alice. One of Matt’s top advisors.



”There,” Male Robin pointed at a map. “This is where we stage our first attack. It’s an easy entry point with low risk. That is, if they haven’t been improving their security.”


”Which they most certainly have,” Female Robin speculated. “I say we split up and go at it separately.”


”That’s risky,” Male Robin said. “There’s less risk if we all go in at once.”


”But what if it doesn’t work?!” Female Robin cried. She was pulling at her hair. It was a habit of hers when she was beyond stressed. “I... I can’t. We can’t go at it there. If anything happens to them, it’ll be on my hands. Your hands. If you haven’t noticed, we don’t have Dr. Mario here, and Pit’s not getting better that quickly. Tiki’s losing it, Robin. If we lose this, we all lose.”


Male Robin was silent for a moment. He bit at his bottom lip. He hated to admit it, but she was right. His plan all banked on there being no opposition at the point of entry.


A knock interrupted both trains of thought. It was Shulk.


”If you don’t mind,” The blond started.


”Of course not, come in,” Male Robin said.


”I just had a vision of the battle,” He said, plainly. He looked them both dead in the eye. “We have to go through the front door.”


”The front—?! Shulk, that’s ridiculous!! They’re going to have guys all along the place!”


”It’s stupid. Absolutely bloody stupid.”


”All other approaches lead to immediate death,” Shulk informed them. “Personally?


I think it’s stupid enough to work.”


Chapter Text

The debriefing was short, but Shulk ran the plan past those in the assist trophy motel. They were going on a head-on assault. They were going on a full-on assault as soon as they were prepared.


When this would be was up in the air.


Male Robin argued that they ought to attack as soon as possible, as to stop the ever-multiplying Armii.


Tiki argued that they ought to wait until Pit was better. He was, after all, a great fighter. This was taken under heavy criticism. No one knew how long it would take for him to grow better, and he was at great risk of injury. To the surprise of everyone, Dark Pit actually took Tiki’s side.


”She’s right. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right,” Pittoo argued. “He’s as good as I am.”


Wow!” Phosphora laughed. “Where’d this humble side come from, Dark Pit?”


”Can it,” Was his response.


A startled yelp came from Luigi, who had been paying the hearing no mind at all. Instead, his eyes had wandered out the window to the winding path that lead up to the motel. “O-Oh no. Oh no no no!” Luigi cried, holding his face.


”What? What’s the matter with you, stretch?” Ken asked, before following his gaze. His cheerful face fell grave. “Oh.”


Down the path there walked two Miis. Two Miis with the telltale orange eyes.


A great panic filled the motel. They had no defenses! If Matt knew this place existed, they were done for!


“Shame,” The Black Knight mused, grabbing his massive sword. “Looks like we’re about to have two decapitated Miis.”


They were too late. Suddenly, the door swung open. Two pairs of orange eyes glared inward.


... and were instantly jumped.


As Knuckle Joe went to town, a bag rolled from one of their possessions. The bag came to rest at Joker’s foot. Graciously, he took it up, before realizing something.


”Wait,” The phantom thief said. There was a pause in the beatings on the Miis. “... These Miis are different... I sense no malice in their hearts...”


Both Miis, in Miispeak, vigorously agreed.


Joker held up the sack, before pouring it onto the ground.


The bag was absolutely teeming with Smashballs and healing items.


Nikki blinked at the items, before blinking back at the other Miis. “I... I think they’re trying to help us!”


Female Robin grabbed a Smashball. It was a real one. 100%, genuine, incomprehensible magic energy. “Unbelievable...” She muttered.


The assist trophies and fighters removed themselves from the Miis.


Alice and Pigtails breathed a sigh of relief.



Mayday, mayday! We are under attack! They’re everywhere, and I need help!”


Samus’s voice cut over the intercom like an arrow piercing its target. She’d been suspicious since day one, but never got around to investigating. This, in turn, might lead to her downfall.


She and Pikachu were cornered. Completely cornered. They’d been avoiding the Mii army wherever they could, but Samus knew there must be a bounty on her head.


Ironic. What a way to go.


The wind whipped against Samus’s suit. Standing this high up on the roof was making her head swim. She knew she’d survive a fall from this height... but her suit was in no condition for that right now.


Her powersuit had protected her from much of the damage, but it had began to flash messages at her she’d only seen but a handful of times before.


These Miis seemed unassuming, but they hit like a damn truck.


Breathing hard to herself, Samus took in the situation. There wasn’t much she could do in the terms of escape. She had to fight and die here, or leave a prisoner.


Neither option sounded pleasing to her. If only she could fly...


In her panicked thinking, she’d missed an important detail.


She wasn’t alone.


”Pika, pika!” Pikachu cried, slapping Samus’s helmet. This brought her back into reality, and she shook her head quickly. Blinking twice, she felt her heart sink into her throat.


Ridley was also on the roof, breathing plasma breath on any Miis that dare approach him.


”No,” Samus said. “Absolutely not. I’d rather die than be safe with him.”


”Pika!” Pikachu groaned. The rat tried to pull Samus towards her greatest nemesis.


Ridley noticed the two struggling, and fell silent. Pichu watched from his shoulder, before giving an empathetic look. With a deep groan, Ridley knew what he must do.


”Aron,” Ridley barked. This caught the attention of the bounty hunter. Even from under the mask, he could tell she was shooting venomous eyes. “On my back, or I’ll leave without you.”


”Then leave!” She called. A Mii gunner hit a square shot on her. She gasped out in pain. Pikachu, in a panic, hopped off of her and onto Ridley.


”Looks like your rat has more brains,” Ridley sarcastically stated. “I don’t have to kill you after all. Goodbye, Samus.”


Ridley spread his wings, and was about to take off, when he heard her voice.




”I knew you’d come to your senses,” The space pirate said. Soon enough, he felt her weight on his back. A shot sped past Ridley’s head. Angered, he blasted the perpetrator with his breath.


Off the four of them went. Some more willing and happy than others.


”Side note,” Samus said, as the air whipped against them. “I don’t much care for you blowing up my ship.”


”I don’t much care for you, and yet, I saw pity on you.” Ridley spat back. “Now, shut up. We’ve got to find somewhere to be.”


”There,” Samus pointed.


Down below them was the hub of counter-revolution. The shabby Smash Motel.



In the main hall sat two masters of disguise. Blending in, the two of them used their prowess of stealth to escape the impossible odds and camouflage just like a chameleon.


Miis passed them day and night, not knowing that just before them were two of the fighters they’d been tasked to track.


These two, of course, were a cardboard box and a potted plant. The two best of friends.


”Plant, do you read me,” Came Snake’s muffled voice from within the box. The plant poked its head out of its pot for a moment. “... I need food... I’ll give you carbon dioxide.”


Piranha Plant supposed that sounded like a fair deal. Digging around for a moment within the pot, he retrieved for Snake a warm, half-eaten squirrel and a bottle of water.


”Thanks,” Snake said, breathing heavily as he spoke. The plant gladly took the exchange.


This was going to be a long revolution.





”Yes, Nana?”


”Are we going to die?”


The question hung heavily in the air, as the two children contemplated the situation at hand. Popo bit his bottom lip, taking in the question before him.


It was late at night. Due to low occupancy in the motel, fighters had to share rooms with residents. The two ice climbers shared a room with Pit and Tiki. Tiki was slumped over her bedside table, a hand resting softly on Pit’s gently beating heart.


”That’s... a good question,” Popo answered softly, as to not wake the others. “Think... think of it like climbing a mountain!”


”Everything’s about climbing mountains with you, isn’t it?!” Nana answered in a hurt, frightened voice. “This is nothing like climbing a mountain! Popo, our home is invaded, and they’re armed! How is this like climbing a mountain?!”


”It’s dangerous. Stupid even. Most people would say don’t even try. But you know what I know about you? About us?”




”We aren’t most people, Nana. We’re heroes. Good guys! And all we’ve ever done is climb mountains! These... these Miis... It’s scary.”


”Real scary,” Nana agreed with her brother.


”But we... we can’t be scared,” Popo said. “We’ve gotta be strong. Our friends are in there! We can’t... we can’t end up like Pit.”


”Yes we could. Real easy,” Nana pointed out. “I don’t want to, Popo.”


”As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay. Okay?”


”Okay,” Nana murmured. She issued a soft yawn, shifting in her pile of blankets. “The grown-ups say they have a plan... we’re going to go right through the front. Do... do you think it’ll work?”


Popo paused. “I... I donno. But they’re the grown-ups for a reason, right? They know it all. We’ll be okay.”


Nana shifted again, pulling up the covers. “... Okay... if you say so. Thank you, Popo.”


”Any time. Now... I gotta get some sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow. Those Miis brought a lot of Smashballs! I wanna see what we can do!”


Nana nodded her head. “Good idea. I need some sleep, too. Goodnight, Popo.”


”Goodnight, Nana.”


The dynamic duo soon began to drift off into a comfortable sleep.


However, just as the kids began to sleep, someone else began to stir.



Chapter Text

The sentiment rang all throughout the motel. Everywhere one turned, they would find someone gleefully shouting at the top of their lungs.


Samus, who had just entered the party at the Smash Motel, looked about to see what was happening. The usually glum faces were filled with cheer, as they proclaimed one thing.


Pit was alive. Pit was alive and well.


Tiki, naturally, was the first to realize the fact. Late into the night, the angel boy had been able to sit up in his bed, however tentatively it may be. From here, he spied that his beloved had been slumped over on a bedside table, refusing to move from the spot. Pit couldn’t help but crack a little smile.


Soon enough, however, he came to realize the condition that he was in. He was beaten and battered, and it appeared he was in a makeshift hospital bed.


Could he ever be in the Smash Motel without being wounded?


Gently, he nudged Tiki awake. In the middle of a soft snore, Tiki awoke. Pit, speaking gently, ushered for a glass of water. The half-dragon, in her stupor, didn’t realize the severity of Pit’s awakening. Groggily, she obliged. Only on the way back with the cup did she realize what was going on.


Pit was alive. Tiki has shouted with joy, before nearly tackling the angel. It had hurt, yes, but Pit hugged her right back. He had then urged her to spend the night in the bed with him, opposed to slumped against the nightstand. It must’ve hurt her neck!


Of course, she took the deal up in a heartbeat.


The next day, Tiki broadcasted the news to the entire hotel.


”It’s a miracle!” She proclaimed, “Nothing short of a miracle!”


As Tiki expressed her joy, Dark Pit found time to visit his clone. Or vice versa. He stood in the doorway, as a conscious Pit stared blankly at the ceiling.


Gently, Pittoo cleared his throat. Pit’s head turned to the side, spying his double. Soon, a grin spread over Pit’s face.


”Pittoo!” He called happily.


”Yeah, yeah. I know we’ve been over this before, but you’ve probably got some kinda brain damage,” Pittoo sarcastically jabbed. “I’ll let the nickname slide for now.”


Dark Pit slid a chair forward, so that he may sit at Pit’s side. He crossed his legs, and then uncrossed them, and then crossed them again.


What does someone say to someone who was nearly killed by a faceless mob?


”So,” Dark Pit awkwardly choked out.


Luckily, Pit was the talker of the group.


”Yeah... I lived, huh?” Pit grinned. He was a goofball, that’s for sure.


”Regrettably,” Pittoo joked. “Guess you can’t be killed, huh?”


”I got close to it. Sometimes I thought I’d dip down below the line... but then I’d feel a... a pressure on my hand, y‘know?” Pit asked, squeezing at his palm. “And then... I knew I couldn’t give up. I’d have to keep fighting.”


Pittoo swallowed his jealousy for the moment. “Yeah. That would be Tiki. She practically sat at your side the whole time you’ve been in here.” Pittoo explained. Awkwardly, the edgy angel stared skyward. “You’re... Lucky, Pitstain. It astounds me. How can you be smiling at a time like this?!”


”I’ve got a visitor,” Pit responded, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I’m alive. I’ve got friends who care for me and a kick-butt girlfriend who loves me. I know Palutena needs my help. I’ve gotta be positive if we want to get anywhere.”


Ugh. Positivity. The word made Dark Pit’s stomach nearly churn. “Yeah. Sure. I guess,” He muttered.


Pit’s positivity faded for a second, as he let the heavy atmosphere of the room close in. “... Tiki told me the plan,” Pit said. “About... how we need to take it through the front door... Do you think it’ll work?”


Pittoo paused a moment, before standing up. “I don’t know,” He responded. “... but I think I trust the guy who can see into the future. If it’s the only way, then we can do it.”


Pit’s face lit up. “Hey! That’s positive! I knew you could do it!”


Dark Pit groaned, before turning to leave. “Yeah, whatever. Don’t get used to it, Stupit.”


Dark Pit left, but Pit remained smiling.


He was growing.


Richter knew what was happening. And he didn’t like it at all.


Sure, he’d spent a few days in the closet. Sure, he was now terrified of Miis. And sure, he had no idea of knowing how his fellow fighters were doing. But he also knew that he wouldn’t get anything done sitting in here.


Gently, as his strength was now regained, he pushed open the door of the closet. It let out a low creek. The noise caused Richter to cringe, clenching his teeth as he stared out into the hallway.


He saw only a few of those vile things. Nothing a little stealth couldn’t handle. Within a few minutes, and before any of the others were any the wiser, he’d turned three Miis into ash with his knife. The vampire hunter sighed deeply, before taking in his surroundings. He cursed to himself for leaving his communicator behind in his room. He could really use a map or help right now.


Walking on eggshells, the young man peered around every corner. At every corner, he found himself more Miis he needed to sneak past or eliminate.


”Where in the world—?” Richter began to ask, before he felt a hand clasp around his mouth and body. It was probably a good thing, because he nearly screamed as he felt the hands.


Quickly, the hands dragged him (kicking and metaphorically screaming) around the hallway, and right into the clinic. The door was, of course, locked, but the person fumbled his way inside a secret passageway.


As soon as the person released him, Richter grabbed his whip, nearly pelting the person with the Vampire Killer.


He paused, however, as he saw who it was.


”Hello, darling,” Bayonetta greeted. “Your grandfather was getting worried about you. Many fighter’s have gone missing recently, you know. And I see you’re already well acquainted with the Miis.” 


She gestured to his wounds.


”You... You’re not a Mii...” Richter said, exhausted.


”Why, I’m flattered you realized!” Bayonetta laughed. “But I did just save your sculpted rear end. A thank you would be nice.”


Richter blinked up at the witch he’d been so hard on in the past. Awkwardly, he scratched at the backside of his head. “I’m... indebted to you. My thanks.”


”That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Bayonetta hummed, going about the infirmary. The doctor was nowhere to be seen. “I’m sure your grandfather would be proud.”


”Where is he?” Richter asked. Bayonetta paused a moment, biting at the inside of her lip.


”I don’t know,” She finally said. After rummaging about for a moment or two, she came across what she needed. Ointment and a sandwich. “He’s one of the missing right now... blasted Miis. I wish I knew what they did with their prisoners. If they keep prisoners.” Her voice dropped.


She began to apply the necessary treatments to Richter’s wounds. “Surely... Surely they don’t just kill them, right?” 


No response was made, as Bayonetta continued to treat Richter.


Louder, he repeated, “Right?!”


”Judging by the condition you’re in?... Things aren’t looking to well for Simon...” The umbra witch said. Her voice was filled with a sadness Richter couldn’t quite place. Longing? Regret? Mourning? He didn’t know, and it terrified him.


”We’ll find him,” Richter responded confidently. “He’s... He’s alive. He’s got to be!”


Bayonetta glances solumnly to the floor. After a deep sigh, she spoke again. “Yes. Yes, I’m sure,” She murmured. Her usual confidence was nowhere to be found. With little hesitance, she thrust the sandwich at Richter. “Eat. I’m sure camping in the closet did nothing for your appetite.”


She was right. He was famished.



Matt rapped his fingers on the table in his thrown room. It was lavishly decorated with priceless artifacts he’d found throughout the Smash Hotel. In fact, the room itself was just a repurposed upper lobby.


Truly, it was the room of an established monarch. A mad king, yearning for more power.


There was tapping at his door.


”Come in,” He said in Mii speak.


In walked Karen and Peepee. The two Miis glanced at Matt, before looking away.


The boxer rose an eyebrow. “Well? I’m waiting. Did you find a way to harness the core?”


”Ah, about that,” Karen started. “We’ve... suffered casualties at the hand of the core.”


”What?!” Matt asked. “Are you really that stupid? How can a ball of energy do that?!”


Peepee shrugged. Karen struck her upside the head.


”The thing... It speaks. And it transforms. It makes stupid little quips as it does it, too.”


Matt heard this, but didn’t believe. “Hmph. A sentient core, then? Rarer still. It will make as a nice souvenir. Have you tried a hammer on it?”


Peepee nodded vigorously.


”And it didn’t work?”


Peepee shook her head rapidly.


”Hm. Peculiar. Usually the hammer works.”


”If I may interject?” Karen asked. Matt allowed it. “Maybe the core is part of those blasphemous gods that rule this realm... What were they again? They’re feet, or something.”


”Hands, but whatever,” Matt corrected.


”Perhaps you can harness its power and become a god yourself.” Karen suggested.


Peepee nodded her head again quickly.


Matt liked the sound of that. With a horrifying sound, the Mii scraped up a sword, before inspecting it.


”I enjoy the idea,” He told her. He pointed his sword at her. Karen gulped heavily. “As long as you don’t get any ambitious ideas, we will remain on the same page. If you do... well...”


Matt pushed the tip of the sword against Karen’s heart. The General was shaking, and so was Peepee.


”Let’s just say you’ll end up in a dustpan.”


”N-No, n-no need for that, Matthew,” Karen murmured, shakily pushing the sword off of her chest. “I’m but a servant, alright? No need to go all ‘Game of Thrones’ on me!”


”Keep it in mind, or my threat will become a reality. I know you want to overthrow me,” Matt pointedly said. A heavy silence fell over them. 


Truth was, Karen wouldn’t mind having the power for herself...


Matt holstered the sword, before clapping his hands. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get going, shall we? I have a sphere to harness.”


Fearful, the two Miis lead the mad king of the Armii towards where Master Core was held.


Matt was grinning to himself the whole while.

Chapter Text

Lucario knew things no normal being could know. Lucario could sense the aura his friends and foes alike gave off. He could tell one’s intentions simply by examining the energy they had exuded.


These Miis? One big, bad aura. Every last one of them (or, well, most of them anyway) exuded an aura of darkness the aura Pokémon had only seen when faced with Tabuu. The name sent a shiver down his spine.


Once the dreaded Miis began to take over the hotel, Lucario had gone into hiding, keeping silent to everyone around him. Unlike Mewtwo, who had tried to warn everyone of the dangers ahead, Lucario said nothing. Instead, he’d been devising a plan of his own.


The only other soul he had told was Greninja. In a language only Pokémon could understand, Lucario explained to the frog what was wrong, and what they could do to stop it.


Their plans changed drastically, however, as fighters began disappearing under their noses.


Where were they being taken? The question was held in Lucario’s mind. Both he and Greninja had went on many scouting missions, only to come up empty.


But finally, it seemed, they had found it.


Gazing down upon the heavily guarded but shoddy prison before them, Lucario and Greninja knew this was the place. Why would they waste so much Miipower on a location so far off if it wasn’t?


The only question was of how to infiltrate.


”Going somewhere?” A voice said. Both Pokémon jumped, before looking around for who had spoken. The fear of being found out terrified them.


”Up here,” The voice beckoned. Both heads turned upward, to see Mewtwo hanging upside down using his psy power. “There’s no way in. You’d better get comfortable. We’ll be here a while.”


Jason, the head warden, spouted discipline to an underling. Rumor around the halls was that he had had a fling with the one and only Karen, but it had never been fully expressed. Perhaps the relationship with the crazy woman had pushed him over the edge.


But the troubles of Miis were no bother to the Pokémon. What really interested them was the set of keys dangling from the Mii’s side.


Lucario made a gesture at Mewtwo. Mewtwo shook his head.


”Tried. Too far away.”


Greninja and Lucario exchanged a glance. One of them would have to go and do it then. Of all the things Mewtwo was, he was not stealthy.


But Greninja was.


With a quick and silent foot, the frog ninja skittered down the passageway, hoping to free the fellow fighters here.


Lucario watched with baited breath, as Mewtwo observed his hand, uninterested.


Greninja moved like a shadow against the wall. Not a noise uttered from his footings.


Not even Jason noticed as his keys were taken from right under his nose.



“Tomorrow, then.


It was settled. Tomorrow would be the best option for attack. Too much longer and the Armii would be too large to defeat. Going right now would lead to unpreparedness, and a hurting Pit.


Tomorrow it was.


”The bus? Really? Have you seen how slow that thing is?!” Shadow scoffed. “I am not riding in that thing.”


”Aye, she ain’t that slow, ye speed junkie!” Kap’n responded defensively.


”I can walk faster than it moves,” Shadow retorted.


”It’s the only way we can arrive at relatively the same time,” Female Robin pointed out. “Besides, you won’t be alone on it! You’ve got others to go along with you!”


”It’ll be a regular convoy!” Morgana exclaimed excitedly. “We’ll have people in the air, and people on the road. What more could you want?”


”Something a little more noble,” Shadow responded.


Alice reached into the sack of items and retrieved a gun. She gave Shadow a cheeky look. Only Knuckles burst out laughing.


”I... don’t get it,” Joker muttered.


”Yeah, I’m in the dark too,” Luigi added.


”Long story,” Shadow huffed, annoyed. “How the hell...? How’d did she...?”


”Somethin’ dignified, eh? Like a motorcycle?!” Knuckles asked, still laughing. The rap was a lie. He did chuckles quite a bit.


Shadow socked Knuckles in the chest.


”Back to the plan,” Tiki redirected.


”Right,” Shulk mused. He gestured towards a makeshift attack-planning board. Unfortunately, Meatball was busy playing with the pieces. Shulk sighed.


”Those of you who can fly, fly in,” Male Robin said. “Tiki? You’ll be giving Pit a ride. Phosphora? You’ve got Dark Pit.”


”Can you even lift me?” Pittoo asked pointedly to the goddess of lightning.


Phosphora scoffed at the question. “Yes, and I can drop you just as easily,”


”The rest of you board the buses. Either Kap’n’s or Morgana,” Male Robin continued.


Skull Kid rose his hand.


”No. You can’t call down the moon on the hotel,” Female Robin said.


Skull Kid lowered his hand.


”How do we breach the first gate?” Lyn asked. Her tactical mind was moving.


”Easy,” Responded Pit. “Those in the air will provide a distraction. The Miis’ll focus all their attention on the two floating heads and dragons in the sky. They won’t notice the busfull of people coming their way until it’s too late. Then, we bust out these bad boys,” Pit said, gesturing at the bag of Smashballs.


Everyone glanced at the bag.


”Question,” Vince asked, the painter gesturing with his paintbrush. “What in the world is that thing?”


”Riki know! Riki know!” Riki spouted. “Smashball! You smashball then you energized!”


Shulk nodded. “Exactly. It’s like there’s a surge of power in you, and you can unleash this huge attack. Think of it like... uhm...”


”An energy drink that boosts you to your highest level of strength for a moment,” Samus said.


”A cosmic kiss,” Rosalina said. “A reward for tracking these things. They let you destroy your enemies in one fell swoop.”


”How does it work?” Asked Tiki. “They look quite complex...”


”Press B,” Ridley responded, smart-assed.




”Nothing. Just focus,” Ridley responded.


”Do we have ourselves a plan?” Male Robin asked.


Ken and Ryu nodded at each other. Luigi gave a thumbs up. Even Dr. Wily was willing to put himself out there.


”Well,” Female Robin said, “it’s settled then. Tomorrow we take the hotel back.”


Everyone gave one last look of approval.





”So,” Matt spoke, arms behind his back. “I’ve heard you’ve been causing... trouble, for me and my associates.”


”You’d better believe I have!” Master Beast roared. The roaring beast soon transformed into a pair of swords, and then a giant.


Matt remained unmoved. “And I take it that you’ve taken the lives of a few Miis before me?”


”OF COURSE!” Master Giant boomed.


”Interesting. So what I’ve been told is true,” Matt mused. His lack of fear was strange. Usually, when Master Core was angry, those who had angered him quaked before him. Slowly, Matt began to draw his weapon. “Then I assume you’ll make quick work of me, won’t you?”


For a brief moment, Master Core transformed back into itself. “What makes you think you’re so special, oh great revolutionary? You’re just a Mii like everyone else! I’ve killed hundreds of Miis, and they were just like you!”


”If you managed to kill them, I assure you they were not like Mii,” Matt quipped back. He pointed his sword. “Let’s get down to it, then.”


”Oh, gee, I seem to have forgotten my swords... No wait, no I haven’t!” Master Core laughed, before transforming into five different swords of matter. Menacingly, they sliced through the air.


Even still, Matt was unmoved. He gestured. “Strike first, coward, or I will make quick work of you.”


The godling did as was told, and the battle was soon underway. Master Cutter sliced and diced with five swords, but Matt moved just as fast. He was able to parry most strikes from the heavy swords without breaking a sweat.


From the sidelines, a handful of Miis watched on.


”Show that asshat who’s boss, boss!” Jace exclaimed.


Peepee was digging into some popcorn, and not sharing with anyone. Except for Lonk from Pennsylvania, that is.


Ka-ting. Ka-ting. Ka-ting.


Back and forth the two went at it. Matt grit his teeth, as he held his ground against the core. He would admit, he had underestimated the strength of such a core.


Matt let out a hiss of pain as he felt the blade of darkness hit him in the side. Ouch. It certainly did hurt, but he kept at it.


Screaming out, the power-hungry Mii sprang upward, landing a clean slice of his own. The swords began to decompose, and from it rose Master Beast.


The animal (whatever it was meant to be) snapped wildly at the Mii. Matt held his ground still.


Ka-ting. Ka-tang.


Matt’s swordsmanship was impressive. He was able to skillfully maneuver the beast’s attacks while hitting back with his own. It cried out in pain, and began to shift once more.


”Alright, chump. I’m sick of your shit. I’m done playin’ games. It’s time to bust out the one thing you can’t bear to hurt...”


Master Shadow stepped forward, the glow of Master Core gleaming within. Matt stared back at a carbon copy of himself.


Master Shadow smirked. “... Yourself.”


Matt was growing tired. Master Core was no push over... but neither was he. Once more, breathing heavily, the champion of Wuhu Island rose his sword.


”You don’t know who I am.”


Master Shadow lunged forward first, moving to stike the throat. Matt parried the attack, lunging forward with one of his own.


It was just like fencing, but without pads and for your life.


Their swords danced as if it were a ballet.


”Y’know, Matt,” Master Core started. “I kinda like you. Y’know, with your ambitions and whatever. Though, you could use a little work on methods, and not to mention form.”


With one fell swoop, Master Core had disarmed his opponent. Matt’s sword flew through the air, and stuck itself in the ground forty yards off. The shadow Matt laughed heartily, before pointing his weapon at his opponent.


”Looks like this is it, Matthew. Hope you’ve got a forgiving creator,”


Matt let out a scoff. “My creator is a machine. You don’t know my struggles.”


”Hey, listen buddy. I was an accident too. We don’t have to—“


But it was too late. Matt saw the moment of weakness, and took it. Rolling forward, he dodged the sword completely.


Reeling backward, he punched, and punched hard. He punched so hard, in fact, that Master Core flew out of the shadow body. It slammed against the wall, and hard.


Master Core’s weapon clattered to the ground. In its weakened state, Master Core could no longer summon any of its transformations.


”Jerk... Jerk move...” Master Core sputtered. It was blinking, its usual silky whiteness tarnished.


Matt picked up the grounded weapon, before putting his boot on the orb. There was a sigh of pain.


”I don’t see myself as a jerk,” Matt said, his voice low. He lowered himself to Master Core’s level, holding the sword out before him. “I see myself as a god.”


”You don’t have to do this, Matt,” Master Core pleaded. The orb could see the sharp end of the sword. “You don’t have to.”


”Yes I do,” He responded. “If I kill you, I absorb you. You enhance me... and, if I’m honest, becoming a godly figure is pretty high on the to-do list.”


Master Core was powerless to do anything to stop him. Matt picked the god baby up, and held it in his hand.


”A shame we had to meet like this,” Matt said, inspecting the ball. “I feel like we could’ve been friends under different circumstances.”


”Please,” Core pleaded quietly.


It was too late. Tossing Master Core into the air, Matt focused on his blade.


In one swoop, Master Core was finished.


A powerful insurgence overtook Matt. He cried out in pain, as power rushed throughout his veins. A consuming whiteness overtook his vision. His eyes turned from orange to piercing white. His goatee took the same snowy whitness.


Matt began a low laugh. It then escalated into a chuckle. Finally, he was howling with laughter.


Standing, he felt stronger than ever. Turning to the lifeless husk that once was Master Core, Matt delivered a strong kick. The orb cracked through the wall of the stands, and stuck in the plaster.


The dark matter that Master Core once controlled was now at the tip of Matt’s fingertips.


”Watch out, Master Hand,” Matt monologued to a terrified audience of his Armii. “This dimension’s mine now.”

Chapter Text

The bus ride over to the hotel felt more like a funeral procession than a bus ride. Everyone involved knew the impossible odds that they faced. Everyone involved knew how little of a chance of success that they had. And yet, they still persisted. Perhaps it was the hope of victory, or the yearning for friends and loved ones kept captive by the Armii that kept them pushing forward.


Shadow gazed out the window, reflecting on the choices that lead him up to this point. In one hand, he rolled a Smashball. He knew next to nothing about the item, but could sense the power that resided within the orb. In his time of need, he would crush it and absorb the powers within.


Everyone else on the Morgana Bus thought the same.


Shadow felt a tapping on his shoulder, which jolted him back into the world of the conscious. 


“Hey,” Isaac greeted, some hesitance to his voice.


”What is it?” Shadow asked, turning dismissively back towards the window.


”Well... There’s a chance we’re going to die. A big one,” Isaac stated. It was a fact, after all.


”Don’t remind me,” Shadow murmured, gripping the ball in his hand.


”I just wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed my time in the motel, and I’ve liked having friends like you,” Isaac said. He, much like Shadow, gripped tightly to the Smashball he’d been given.


Shadow didn’t respond to this. After a beat, he responded. “We’re going to survive this.”


”What if we don’t?” Isaac asked. He, too, had faced impossible odds before. Something about the Miis threw him for a loop, however.


”Then we won’t be around to tell the tale, that’s all,” Shadow responded. “But I guarantee you that we’ll be back at that shitty motel in no time at all.”


Isaac let out a chuckle at this, his muscles relaxing. He’d been tense the whole ride, but the simple joke made him ease up a bit. “If you say so.”


”Not to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but overhear,” Knuckles piped up. “The first thing we do when we get back is renovate the living room. That place is nasty!”


Everyone chuckled, including Kunckles himself.


”You’re one to talk,” Krystal joined in. “Leaving all those cans everywhere... Where you born on a secluded island or something?”


”Yes, actually,” Knuckles grinned.


”What the motel truly needs is an art room!” Vincent chortled.


”Or a spa,” Nikki hummed.


”Or a better way to communicate with the hotel,” Alucard mused.


The calm before the storm had settled in, as the bus distracted themselves from the impossible feat ahead of them.



”I wonder where they are now,”


It was a question Daisy had been asking pretty frequently at this point. She knew that the escaped fighters must be on their way. She hoped it so, anyway. She’s give just about anything to be free from this mess. The food was only enough to keep them alive, and the ‘questioning’ the Miis did was more akin to trying to break spirits.


The goal was to have the fighters defect to the Armii. No one had as of yet.


”I’m certain they’re on their way,” Marth mused, resting on his lumpy, uncomfortable bed.


”I sure do hope so! I’d kill somebody for a Maximum Tomato!” King Dedede, a recent addition, lamented. His wide body hardly fit within the tiny jail cell.


”At this point, I’m ready to eat my own boots,” Lucina groaned. “They’ve got about the same nutritional value as the slop those Miis have been serving us.”


”With the benefit of cold toes,” Mario added. It got a few chuckles, but the overall mood remained gloomy.


”I’m sure Pit wouldn’t just leave us here to die,” Palutena said. Though, her voice betrayed her confidence.


”Don’t forget. They got that Kirby fella, too. He’s saved our asses too many times to count,” Falco reminded.


Suddenly, the door to the prison swung open. The silhouette of Jacob stood in the doorway, accompanied by a beaten and battered Captain Falcon.


”Oh, back from torture already?” Zelda scoffed, sarcastically. “How generous!”


As if blown over by a light breeze, Jacob fell to the floor and crumpled. Shortly afterward, the Mii was turned into dust.


Behind him stood the outlines of Lucario, Greninja, and Mewtwo. The keys to each cell rested squarely on Mewtwo’s long tail.



Two Miis stood guard at the front gate. One was stubby and fat, dressed from head to toe in yellow, and sporting a lousy mustache created from his eyebrows. The other was much different. Tall and lanky, the second Mii was dressed in purple.


Warmiio and Walumiigi sat around on their guard duty, picking their noses and making obscene gestures and jokes to one another. Like creation like creator.


Little did they know they were being watched.


High above them swarmed the flying assist trophies. They were accompanied by a choice few fighters.


”Be careful!” Dark Pit shouted fearfully, dangling from Phosphora’s hands.


”What? Are you afraid I’m going to drop you?” The goddess of lightning joked. To emphasize her point, she dropped him a little bit.


Pittoo screamed out in fear once more. “Yes! Very!”


His reaction only made Phosphora giggle with glee.


”Pichu! Pi, Pi Pichu!” Pichu shouted at the duo. The electric mouse rode atop his trusty murderous companion, Ridley.


”You tell ‘em, Pichu,” The cunning god of death humored.


”Your mouse is soooo cute!” Phosphora smiled. Pichu stuck its tongue out, making the goddess swoon even harder.


”Stop! Stop stop stop!” Dark Pit shouted. “Why couldn’t have I just rode Ratholos?! Tiki looks like she’s got room, too!!”


Tiki, mounted by Pit and in her dragon form, gave a surprised sound. 


“We don’t have time for this!” Pit shouted to his airborn friends. “We’ve gotta clear the gate for the buses! Looks like there’s only two guards down there, but who knows how many more are swarming inside?! We need to eliminate them quickly and quietly!”


Ridley’s eyes flashed with a sinister luster. “On it.”


The space pirate swooped down. What he promised to be quick and quiet was anything but either of those two things. Instead, the death he gave the two false plumbers was prolonged and painful looking. Finally, they did turn to dust.


Ridley soon returned to his allies. “It’s done.”


No one responded for a long beat. Kirby looked like he was on the verge of tears. After a moment or so, Pittoo finally spoke up.


”Dude,” He said. “That? That was fucked up.”


“Do you want to join them?” Ridley snarled back. Dark Pit swallowed hard, before shaking his head rapidly.


Pit tapped his ear. His communication device flickered on, connecting him to both busses. “Angel 1 to ground patrol. Do you read me? Over!”


”Uhm, yes? Yeah, Pit, we hear you loud and clear,” Male Robin’s voice responded. “What’s with the code name?”


”Let’s just say the nest’s unprotected. I repeat, the nest’s—“


”Sounds good,” Female Robin cut off. “We’ll be there in ten. Don’t get killed before then.”


”Over and out!” Pit chirped, before shutting his communications device off.


”Work good?” Doctor Wily, the device’s creator, asked. “No hiccups?”


”Nope, we’re all good,” Pit said. “Let’s scope out down there... who knows how many more enemiis we’re going to have to face.”


”Was that a pun?” Dark Pit asked, relieved that they were finally decreasing altitude.


”No?” Pit responded cheekily.


”I hate you.”



“SOMETHING’S WRONG,” Master Hand suddenly said. He felt a sinking in his ‘heart’, a sadness settling in him out of nowhere.


”I FEEL IT TOO, BROTHER. BUT WHAT? WHAT IS IT?!” Crazy asked. There was dread in him now, and he didn’t like it one bit.




All at once, the realization hit the two hands.


Master Core.


”OH... OH MY...” Master Hand said, reeling. “OH NO.”




”I FEAR THEY’VE...” Master Hand couldn’t finish. He’d messed up. He’d messed up big time... and Master Hand wasn’t the one who messes up.


”NO! NO, THAT’S CRAZY!!” Crazy Hand shouted. He, too, felt a crushing defeat overwhelming him.


Both hands grieved the loss of their youngest, and swore vengeance.


They would not be trifled with.



Inside the hotel, the anti-revolution met no resistance. Absolutely no Miis had shown themselves since the first two were decimated by Ridley. The whole group— ground patrol and sky patrol— walked the hallways with extreme anxiety.


”They couldn’t have just up and left, could’ve they?” Rodin asked hopefully. “I’m sure more of them weird-ass Miis are around here somewhere.”


”This is scary...” Popo whined, holding tightly to his mallet.


Kirby hopped along innocently.


”I don’t know where they are,” Male Robin muttered softly, reading arch-thunder just in case. He turned towards their seer. “Where are they, Shulk? You’ve got to know where they are.”


Shulk pursed his lips, holding tightly to the Monado. “I’ve... got nothing. No visions.”


The hallways were ominously dark, as if the electricity was cut from them. Luckily, Luigi had brought his flashlight, illuminating their path.


”This is ridiculous,” Shovel Knight whispered. “This has got to be a trap.”


”Right you are,” A voice said, coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. Luigi screamed, dropping his flashlight. “A clever group, you all are. I’m surprised you’ve had the courage to make it this far.”


”S-Show yourself, M-Matt!” Nikki exclaimed, absolutely terrified. “O-Or else!”


”Or else what? You’re going to draw me a picture and hang it on the fridge? Cute,” Matt’s voice hummed.


A force began to lift Nikki upward by the throat. The terrified Mii choked out, struggling. A group of Smashers lifted her back down. Gasping for air, Nikki found her glasses again.


”I could’ve had you all killed the minute you stepped inside the door,” Matt told them. “But where’s the fun in that? You are the reason we’re here, after all.”


The walls of the room began to shift. Instead of a dimly-lit hotel hallway, an all out coliseum was being made around them. Or, at least, a swarm-like illusion of one.


”This is your last chance,” Matt mused, his illusion coming to fruition. In the seat of the emperor he sat, rapping his finger against the stone. His white gaze peered down upon them. “Join us. Wii can rule this dimension together.”


”Never!” Both Robins exclaimed.


”I’ll blow that smug look right off your fucking face!” Samus shouted angrily.


Shadow and Dark Pit gave him their favorite finger.


Alice and the pigtailed traitor stood their ground, staring up at the evil being that forced them to do his bidding.


“You can stuff it, mister!” Morgana shouted.


Joker reaches for his gun. If he could eliminate Matt now, outside of the Smash environment, it would all be done. One bullet was all he needed. Joker grabbed the gun, and shot.


The shot rang out, and the bullet flew. For a moment, Joker thought it was over.


But Matt caught the bullet in the tip of his fingers. Without hesitation, the madman crushed it. The fighters present gave a worried gasp.


”A simple ‘no’ would’ve been sufficient,” Matt quipped. Standing, the Mii rose his arms. “If you want to die, then I’ll let you die. Remember, I did give you a chance to live. Armii?”


All around, gates slowly began to arise.


From within the dark, orange eyes glinted out. Hundreds. Thousands.


The fighters packed in tightly, readying their weapons. Each had a Smashball or two on their person.


The Pits readied their swords. Luigi held tightly to his Poltergust. Knuckles pounded his knuckles together. Magic fluttered between the Skull Kid’s hands. Midna’s ponytail flared into a hand.


The heroes’ backs were against the wall.


Matt pointed towards the group of fighters. “... eliminate these pests for me.”


A horrible cry arose in the illusioned colosseum. Miis, by the thousands, began to pour into the arena.


The fighters let out a war cry of their own.


A fight of monumental proportions was underway.

Chapter Text

The final battle was underway. It was a smash down of epic proportions, as the heroes fought desperately and valiantly for their home.


Karen was less than happy with her position. Yes, she was a member of the Armii... but she never expected that she’d be out on the field like this! She was a commander! Not an underling like these clones!


Still, Karen pushed forth with her regiment. She’d put down these few herself if she had to. The weight of the sword was hefty against her hand, and sluggish due to lack of use. No matter.


Some Smashers needed to be executed today.


”Forward!” The Mii woman commanded. A war cry went up as the Armii attacked the arena.


Their numbers far outclassed the fighters in the middle. However, everywhere Karen looked, a member of the Armii was being turned to dust.


An arrow of light pierced a Mii to her left. Giant Psy-powered hands swept through the arena. A Mii went flying backwards as Ryu landed an especially powerful kick.


Karen gritted her teeth, persisting amid the chaos. She gave one glance back at her crazed king. Matt sat high and mighty, staring down upon the arena as if he owned the place. Technically, he did. Was he staring directly at her?


Karen’s thoughts were cut short as she was jumped by two of her own kind. Two Miis brandished weapons at the commander.


Karen flashed them each a grin. “Ah, my. I thought I’d see you two out here again. Let me guess... you’re about to pull the moral high ground, aren’t you?”


”What you’re doing here isn’t right, Karen, and you know it!” Alice spat back in Mii speak. The pigtailed Mii nodded in response.


Karen spat at them. “You’re both misguided. Alice, you were highly favored by us! And Kate...” Karen turned her attention to the pigtailed Mii. “... you, too, could claim this crummy little hotel as your own. Wouldn’t you like that?”


“Absolutely not,” Kate spoke. “Especially not if it’s your offer.”


Karen shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She rose her sword. “Let’s dance, then, girls.”


And dance they did. Karen was, surprisingly, well versed in the art of the sword. Even in a two-on-one battle, she still managed to beat back the two Miis.


Alice went in for a swipe, her own beam sword clanging against Karen’s metal blade. From the sidelines, Kate took potshots with the gun she’d been gifted at the time of her creation. Karen moved to avoid them.


Once more, Alice stabbed, only to be blocked. Moments later, she received a boot to the gut, knocking her backwards. The wind was knocked out of her, as her weapon clamored to the ground because her.


Karen grinned devilishly. “Oh? Is that all, then?” She asked, pointing her sword at Alice. The swordwoman made glaring eye contact with Kate, who was preparing another shot. “One more move and she dies.”


Kate froze in place. Her friend was in dire trouble, and she was at odds for what to do.


Suddenly, an idea struck her. Digging around in her pocket, Kate brought out one of the Smashballs she’d smuggled.


”What is that? What have you got?” Karen demanded.


However, it was too late. Kate’s eyes glowed not orange, but with the energy bestowed upon her by busting open the Smashball.


In a matter of moments, Kate had blown a hole through Karen with her mega blaster. The commander let out a scream of agony as she was consumed by the energy blast.


Lifeless, Karen’s body fell towards the ground before becoming nothing more than ash.


... all over Alice’s face.


Kate ran to the side of her friend, helping her up.


Alice spat the remains of Karen out of her mouth, wiping the remains of the evil Mii away.


”Hey... Thank you,” Alice said with a smile. “So, your name’s Kate, huh?”


Kate nodded her head. “Yes. Yes it is.”


Alice cleaned herself off. “For some reason, it sounds familiar.”


Both Miis ducked to avoid fire from behind them.


They could speak later. Right now, they had a fight to win.


Both Robins spouted spells and incantations to keep the Armii at bay, but could feel the feeling of being overwhelmed. For every Mii they destroyed, it felt like five more took their place. 


“What’s the plan?!” Female Robin shouted to Shulk, who was busy beating some poor Mii over the head with Riki by his side.


”One of us has to get up to Matt!” Shulk shouted back. “That, or we need to get him to come down to us!”


Suddenly, a portal appeared between the trio. A swirling black vortex was held between lines of red. Out of the portals stepped two influential fighters.


Bayonetta, who seemed completely fine, and Richter, who looked like he was about to vomit.


”I can’t... I can’t believe you made me do that,” Richter panted.


”It worked, didn’t it? And you only had to walk through the valley of demons!” Bayonetta joked. She waved a hand at the incredulous fighters around her. “Hello there, darlings. I supposed you needed some help, so here we are!”


A demon arm came from a portal, scoopin up a handful of Miis before hey could attack the still reeling Richter. The Miis were dragged to the underworld.


”About damn time you show up, Bayonetta!” Rodin shouted. “We coulda used you hours ago!”


”I was busy,” She responded casually, shooting four rounds and landing each shot. “But I’m here now. What do I need to do?”


”See that asshole up there?” Male Robin said, pointing to where Matt sat. “We need him dead.”


”Easy. Consider it done,” Bayonetta remarked.


”It’s... not that simple,” Female Robin said. “He’s smart. Powerful. Seemingly omniscient. We need to throw a curve ball at him!”


Kirby inhaled deeply, sucking in three different Miis. Each Mii held a different power, and, subsequently, gave Kirby a different power when inhaled. Kirby held a gun, sword, and angry eyes.


“Poyo!” The godslayer shouted.


All eyes went to the pink puffball.


”I think he’s your guy,” Richter said.


”... I think you’re right,” Shulk agreed.



The three Pokémon, Greninja, Lucario, and Mewtwo, led the no longer imprisoned fighters through the dusty corridors of the basement.


”Ive got a bad feeling about today,” Palutena muttered to the rest of the group.


”What could possibly be bad about today?” Roy asked, a skip almost materializing in his step. “We just got our freedom! There’s no need to be so tight!”


”I just... I don’t know,” Palutena said, her eyes falling.


”They are fighting the menace right now,” Mewtwo communicated telepathically to everyone. “There is nothing we can do as of current. We can, however, cease the creation of the Miis.”


”How?!” Daisy nearly shouted, pushing through the group. “I’d do anything to help those guys up there!”


”The Miichine,” Lucario stated, “is what’s been making all the Miis.”


”Gren! Greninja!” Greninja explained.


”... What he meant to say is that we need to turn it off,” Mewtwo translated.


”Where is this... ‘Miichine’?” Zelda asked, striding beside her fellow fighters.


Dramatically, Mewtwo gestured to a room before them. The place was absolutely crawling with Miis, and held a portal to the illusion coliseum that the final battle was taking place in.


King Dedede readied his hammer. “I think it’s clobberin’ time, don’t you?”


Mario readied his fists. Daisy clutched her favorite frying pan. Meta Knight ran a hand along Galaxia’s blade. Lucina wiped a dribble of blood off her chin.


”Oh yeah,” they answered in unison.



The battle was beginning to feel like a losing one. The heroes were feeling heavier and heavier, their efforts absolutely dwarfed by the approaching Mii onslaught.


”There’s too many of them!” Knuckles shouted, as he decked a brawler who approached him.


”My painting can only do so much... I’m just about out of ink!” Vincent lamented.


Luigi, too, was beginning to feel the fatigue of the battle. Many of those around him had used their Final Smashes already. Lyn struck Miis away left and right with her critical hit. A momentary lapse in time was caused by Shadow’s Chaos Control, which gave room for Alucard’s Vampiric Curse to take effect. Even Phosphora’s Lightning Rain couldn’t keep the Armii back.


Luigi, however, had not used his yet. He was waiting for the opportunity to be right.


Suddenly, the younger Mario Brother was seeing stars, as a heavy hit smacked him right upside the head. He let out a grunt of pain, as he fell to the ground. A Smashball— his Smashball— rolled out of his hand and onto the battlefield.


”Mama Mia...” Luigi groaners loopy, as he clutched his head. He wasn’t given time to rest, as a foot caught him squarely in the chest, knocking him further from his precious power orb.


Luckily, a feline friend was looking out for him.


Meatball, sensing his master’s distress, pounced the Smashball. It broke, and Meatball was engulfed in energy.


Immediately, Meatball transformed into a  large apex preditor. A brilliant light shown from the cat, as The Tiger of Light was born from the power of the Smashball.


The Mii that had stricken Luigi was quaking in his boots.


Needless to say, Luigi was protected well by his pet.


The production of Mii fighters was stilled. In fact, it was actually turned entirely off. In the fighter’s time of need, the Miichine was flicked off by a group of now free fighters. 


Portals opened into the coliseum. At first, the fighters, already beaten down and on their last legs, were terrified. Was this the end? Had Matt bested them?


But no. Instead, more allies joined their side.


”Lady Palutena!” An exhausted Pit exclaimed, falling to one knee beside his goddess. “I told you I’d protect you!”


Tiki, in her dragon form, destroyed a few approaching Miis. No one was laying another finger on this dork.


Palutena urged Pit to his feet. “Let’s worry about formalities later, Pit. I’m the one who’s let you down.”


Luigi and Daisy shared a happy reunion, along with Lucas and Ness. All eyes were focused on the Armii.


The work was made even quicker than beforehand. With this reinforcement, no Mii even got close to laying a hand on them.


A clapping sound filled the arena. Everyone, including the Miis, stopped their fighting.


It was Matt, hovering down towards the battlefield.


”Wonderful, just wonderful,” Matt complimented. There was a smile on his face. “I’m impressed, friends. Truly. Pulling something like that? It takes guts. Cunning, too. Hey, why don’t we call it a day before I repaint the walls of the hotel with your blood, eh?”


Matt stuck out his hand. Dark Pit battered it away, scowling at the other. “Fuck off, dickbeard.”


Matt’s eyes flashed with anger, as he pushed Dark Pit backward with extreme force.


The leader of the Miis began to rise into the air, an aura of evil surrounding him. The swarm pushed his dark intentions even further.


”Fine, then,” Matt hummed. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”


What remained of the Armii was too terrified to interfere with the battle that was at hand.


Peepee and Lonk watched from a distance. Jace couldn’t watch. The toy convict, even, remained still instead of causing his usual mischief.


It felt as if no one was able to lay a finger or weapon on Matt. With all the Smashballs used up, the fighters had to rely on themselves to get the job done.


”Aresèn!” Joker shouted, removing his mask. The ghostly persona took form beside Joker and Morgana, ready to take on the mad king.


”How cute,” Matt scoffed, dragging Ridley across the floor like a rag doll. Samus jumped at him with murderous intent, only to meet a backhanded slap from the swarm. “You actually think you can beat me! How can you, when I’ve got the husk of Master Core to guide me?”


”Core wouldn’t condone this!” Marth shouted. He fought a massless hand that spurred him. He was losing. 


“I don’t care,” Matt snapped in response. Playfully, he flicked Mario into the air. The plumber shouted in shock, before cratering feet away. Luigi, angered by this, jumped upward. He managed to land a smack on Matt’s forehead.


Matt blinked twice, before dropping the fighters he was ‘playing’ with. Luigi shrank in fear.


An arm of the swarm popped up, crushing Luigi between its fingers. Luigi squeaked out, before feeling his lungs being crushed. He let out another squeak.


”No!” Daisy exclaimed. Enraged, she took the crown from atop her head and hurled it. 


The points connected with Matt’s face. The godly Mii cried out in pain, dropping the plumber back to the ground.


”For fucks—!” Matt started, before being interrupted. Around him flew both Pits. With Palutena’s gift of flight, they circled the bald headed bastard, firing arrows at him.


He swatted the air with a hand of the swarm, only to be interrupted by dragon fangs digging deep into the massless form.


Shadow and Joker shot at the Mii with their pistols, as Knuckles and Krystal attacked directly.


Matt shrunk into himself, as the blows kept coming. Again and again, attacks rained down upon him. Until, finally, angered to completion, he shouted out.


ENOUGH!” Matt bellowed. The sound of his voice knocked his attackers back. The white of his eyes flashed hot. “I am going to enjoy killing each and every one of you. I’m going to choke the life out of you all, as you beg for mercy. I am—“


”Now!” Shulk shouted.


From below him, Kirby spurted out of the ground on a Burrowing Snagart. Wielding Galaxia and a Fire Emblem, the duo slashed upward with the legendary weapon and struck Matt right where it counted.


The heart.


A flush of pain overwhelmed Matt. It felt as if his very blood was being melted away by the fiery passion and strength of the weapon. Kirby pushed the sword in deeper, and Matt let out a muffled sound.


The leader of the Miis fell to the ground on his knees, clutching to life. The white in his beard and eyes flickered, until finally settling back to the brown he had had before killing Master Core.


”Hmh,” Matt muttered, clutching his wound. “It... It appears as if I’ve been bested. Odd... I had... had a vision like this... After absorbing Core... Perhaps... Perhaps it was fate, then... Perhaps...”


Dedede wacked him hard in the head with his hammer. Matt stopped talking, as his body slumped off to the side.


Just as so many others before him, Matt was dead. He, too, became dust in the wind.


The hotel began to shake, as the great evil that had been the Armii was lifted. Without their leader, the rest of the Armii began to fade from existence as well.


Peepee. Lonk. Obama. All the Miis ceased to exist along with the arena, and soon, they were transported back to the hotel.


This meant that Kate, born of the vile machine, was no more as well.


She gave a gentle smile, knowing what must happen. She never did get to cuss out Palutena for her treatment of Pit, but knew that her favorite angel boy would live on because of her.


Alice, who was not made of the machine, knew this too. She embraced her friend as she ceased to exist.


It was a victory... but a victory at what cost?


The Smashers and Assist Trophies celebrated, hoisting Kirby high up onto their shoulders. They herald him as a hero. The one who’d rid the darkness.


Alice felt hollow.


A hand came to rest on Alice’s shoulder. A glance up saw that it was none other than Pit himself.


”Hey. Don’t worry about it,” Pit told her. “... We’ll find a way to get her back.”


Alice nodded.


She promised herself that she would.


Whatever the cost.

Chapter Text

“I found Core... Or, what’s left of Core...”


Master Hand held in the palm of his hand the light-less orb that once was Master Core. There was a definite cut through, along with cracks along the edges where it had been lodged into the wall by Matt’s foot. The sight of the once-living being made sadness fester in the hands and announcer.


The Master trio, in their state of mourning, spoke not in their usual booming baritones. Instead, they took a quieter approach, gazing upon the orb Master Hand held.


”Can’t... Can’t you just bring Core back?!” Crazy asked, desperation in his voice. The sight of the little one being no more rocked the hand to his core.


”It... isn’t that simple,” The announcer said. “I’m... I’m afraid our little... little buddy is...”


He couldn’t finish the sentence. For a disembodied voice, The Announcer sounded as if he were about to cry.


”I, I can just make more!” Crazy Hand said. He blasted the ground around the Master Office. Indeed, he did make more Master Cores... but these were not his Master Core.


The babbling orbs spoke on a variety of different topics, and with a variety of different personalities. Some were serious. Others insane. Still others studious.


None of them were the real Master Core.


Wrecked with grief, Crazy Hand snapped the orbs out of existence, before crumpling on the oversized desk. 


“We messed up, didn’t we, brother?! We could’ve stopped all this!” Crazy cried.


”Hindsight is a magical thing,” Master Hand comforted, placing the lifeless orb on the desk before hovering over to comfort his grief-stricken brother. “Yes, we could have... but we remained unmoved... It is too late now.”


This made Crazy grieve harder.


”Isn’t there anything we can do to fix this?!” Crazy exclaimed, knocking things off the desk left and right. “Where is the swarm to go?”


There was a pause, before the Announcer finally spoke once more.


”Have... have you heard the legends?” Xander spoke. His tone was soft. Very soft. Uncharacteristically soft. 


“... of the reset temple?”




Wario awoke in his bed, grunting awake. Stretching upward, the portly plumber scratched his backside, and picked his nose. A morning routine, really. He rubbed at his eyes, as the sunlight streamed in.


He glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was blinking 12:00. Wonderful. He overslept. Grumpily, Wario moved to massage his face, only to find he had grown a stubble in his sleep.


”Waht in the—?” He murmured. How long had he been asleep for? Quickly checking his Smash Communicator for the date, a shocking sentiment was made known to him.


He’d slept for a solid 5 days!


Shaking his head, Wario checked again. Yep, he had been sleeping for five days straight. This was an accomplishment even for himself!


His eyes found the cord that was supposed to connect his alarm clock to the wall.


There seemed to be a slash mark through the cord, but no sword or knife to be found. Moving forward to inspect it, Wario bonked his head on a tube.


Massaging his head, he stared up at the tube. Taking one whiff of it, he gagged.


Obviously, this contraption has been what kept him asleep all that time! He could even see some of the remaining noxious gases seeping out!


And he thought his gas was bad!


There was a letter at his bedside table. Hastily, Wario went to open it.


Skimming through it, Wario soon deducted that it had been written by his Mii counterpart. It excited Wario!... but as he read through it, he soon realized the worst had happened to his creation.


Dear Papa Wario,


Its-a Mii! Warmiio! Do you remember creating me? I remember. Unfortunately, I’ve been ordered to put you and your other smash friends to sleep for a long, long time. We came in while you were sleeping, and put the sleeping gassed above your head. If you read this, I’mma so sorry for doing what I did, but revolution was needed. As much as I loved you, Pap Wario, you were a big threat to Matt’s plans. Your other friends are asleep, too. Some escaped the sleeping toxins and are being held in jail cells by the Mii-chine. However, if you are reading this... it probably means I’m dead. Someone overthrew the revolution, and Wii are no more. I just wanted to say I love you, Papa Wario. Even if you did smell funny.




Unaware of the war that had just happened, or the casualties the Smashers had faced, Wario stormed out of his room.


Whoever had killed his son was going to face his fury.



Wario wasn’t the only one who was waking up from the toxin-induced sleep. In fact, all around the hotel, those who had not been imprisoned or escapees were beginning to stir from their seemingly endless rest.


Sonic rubbed his eyes as the situation became known to him. Bowser stretched his stiff muscles as consciousness finally found him once more. Even Mega Man’s reprogramming seemed to undo itself, and his eyes flickered back to their usual ice blue.


Simon Belmont was one of the individuals waking up from the toxic coma.


Stretching his wiry muscles, Simon soon came to realize he was sprouting a whole beard. He touched his face, before the realization of 5 days of sleep came to him.


Hurriedly, he rushed from his room and into the commons of the hotel. His eyes scanned wildly. One might have thought he was homeless if he didn’t have the decency to put on his armor.


The Miis might be gone, but their impact on the hotel was visable nearly everywhere. Most things were destroyed, or badly tarnished. Everything felt... off.


Simon had no idea what was going on.


”Richter?!” Simon called out to the crowd of Smashers regaining their footings. “Richter?! Bayonetta?! Where are you two?!”


Both Richter and Bayonetta caught the shouts of Simon in their ears. Exchanging a friendly glance to one another, the two of them rushed forth to meet the man.


Eagerly, they hugged him at his waist.


”My, my!” Simon exclaimed, nearly falling backwards. The toxic had weakened him, but he was still able to keep his balance. “Do my eyes deceive me?! I thought you two despised each other! Refused to be seen in the same room! What’s happened so suddenly?!”


Once more, Bayonetta and Richter exchanged glances.


”It’s... a long story,” Richter said. “We’ll fill you in later.”


”Nice beard,” Bayonetta complimented, her usual flirty behaviors pushing forth again. “You should keep it. Makes you look more... refined.”


She added a wink at the end. The wink went right over his head. Classic Simon.


”Perhaps I will,” Simon said. He was utterly surprised by Richter’s lack of resolve. “... but first, I need to know what happened while I was out. Was this Dracula’s dark magic?!”


Both Richter and Bayo laughed, before filling the older Vampire Hunter.



”What do you mean ‘lost’?”


”I mean I have no idea where we are.”


Isabelle, Wolf, and the triad of Villagers wandered through the forest surrounding the Smash Hotel. It was surprisingly thick for what it looked like. Wolf could have sworn he’d seen that same evergreen four times already.


The Villagers bounded happily along as if this were nothing more than a nature walk. Wolf and Isabelle, however, grasped the weight of the situation.


”If we miss a match, we’re going to get disqualified!” Isabelle whimpered. Oh, this lost certainly wasn’t any good!


”I know, I know,” Wolf said, trying to remain calm. However, they all knew the repercussions of getting disqualified.


This time, Wolf was sure, the hands wouldn’t allow for a bogus court case to appeal the rules. If they didn’t appear for a match, unless otherwise excused, they were terminated.


”Do you have a flare, or a firework, or something?” Isabelle asked.


”No... All I have is my blaster. It disappears before it gets above the trees,” Wolf explained.


”Ohhh, this is bad!” Isabelle whimpered.


They had, in fact, been walking in circles for a few hours. The same trees passed by without the five taking notice.


The purple shirted Villager, skipping ahead, found a new path to take. He starred down as far as he could, before his vision was taken by the darkness. He ushered for the others to come.


Come they did, and stare they did as well.


”That... looks dangerous,” Wolf commented.


”It’s our only hope!” Isabelle said confidently. “C’mon... We have to get back to the hotel as fast as we can!”


”I—“ Wolf tried to protest, but his paw was taken by Isabelle’s. The suddenness of the action made a light blush peck his cheeks.


Damn this dog.


And so, the five continued off down the path, unaware of the creatures watching from the bushes.

Chapter Text

Little Mac: So.


Falco: So... what? Are you always this short?


Doc Louis: Don’t call him short, bird.


Doc Louis: But yes, he is.


Falco: Great.


Little Mac: Are we going to move on with our lives and not acknowledge what happened?


Ridley: Wow. I’m impressed. That’s, like, the first time I’ve see you type something more than two letters.


Ridley: But yes. That’s what I was planning.


Little Mac: Hm


Dark Pit: And there he goes again.


Simon: It has been a bumpy ride... at the very least I would like to know what occurred...


Richter: I’ll DM you, old man.


Simon: Dungeons and Dragons is a game of the devil, Richter.


Richter: Thats not... I didn’t...


Richter: Phooey.


Piranha Plant: ?


Bowser: I don’t think they meant you, plant.


Tiki: It was a rather curious predicament. I’m curious as to where these... Miis, came from to begin with.


Mewtwo: I don’t know, either. And it bugs me.


Dark Pit: Dang, Times must be really tough. Even the hermits are coming out to play.


Mewtwo: If you would have listened to this hermit, the whole Mii situation wouldn’t have happened.


Tiki: You knew?!


Mewtwo: I noticed. But I was blatantly ignored.


Mewtwo: @King Dedede


Snake: Is that a thing you can do?


King Dedede: Why’d my communicator throw an idle threat at me?


King Dedede: Oh. Y’all want me for somethin’


Mewtwo: An apology.


King Dedede: For what?!


Mewtwo: Ignoring my advice.


King Dedede: ...


King Dedede: No.


King Dedede has left the chat.


Meta Knight: Typical. Refuses to take responsibility.


E. Gadd: Dearest me! This chatting device sure is blowing up! What’s this hubbub about?!


Falco: The world almost ended at the hands of a Mii.


E. Gadd: I...


E. Gadd: Peculiar. Okay. What is a... ‘Mii’?


Fox: Nothing of worry any more, Professor. We handled it.


Kirby: Poyo! :D


Marth: Yes, Kirby. You did kill a god.


Meta Knight: Also surprisingly typical.


Daisy: What does a hotel have prison cells for, anyway? They aren’t cozy at all!


Falco: Naughty residents.


Fox: You’re joking.


Falco: Thank you, captain obvious.


Sonic: Well, at the very least, at least I got a good sleep!


Shadow: Yeah. We couldn’t have used you at all.


Sonic: I figured you guys had it.


Simon: I have returned from the ‘direct messaging’. That sounds shockingly apocalyptic.


Dark Pit: Y’think?


Phosphora: At least we made it out with no major injuries, though, right?


Meta Knight: Pride.


Phosphora: Not what I meant, but fine. Okay.


Matt: What are we talking about?


Ridley: Holy f***. Looks like you and me are the same.




Luigi: O-Oh nnno... Nnot again!!


Matt: ?


Richter: Don’t play stupid, Matt. If you ever come here again, I will personally end your existence.


Matt: I have no idea what is going on—


Dark Pit: F*** off with that, Dickbeard. You know what you did.


Matt: No? I don’t?


Alice: Everyone, please... this is the real Matt. The Matt from my world.


Samus: Still don’t trust him.


Nikki: No, she’s right... that Matt doesn’t try to overthrow hotels.


Popo: I’ve got an eye on you!


Pauline: Excuse me, what happened?


Ganondorf: Sometimes ignorance is bliss.


Falco: Hey, hold on a sec. The chat’s missing a certain pee-ant today.


Fox: “Pee-ant?”


Falco: P***-ant gets centered.


Falco: Where the H*** is Wolf at?


Snake: No idea. Isabelle’s gone missing, too.


Villager (Red): And a few of my friends, too...


Inkling (Orange): Haven’t seen them.


Fox: Whoa, Inklings can use this chat, too?


Inkling (Blue): That’s pretty insensitive, dude.


Inkling (Orange): It’s easy to translate text.


Fox: I... I didn’t mean to sound like that.


Falco: Sure.


Panther: Wolf is still missing?


Lucina: Well, he did come back after a little while... but now he’s disappeared again.


Digby: And Is, too?!


Lucina: Yes.


Snake: I hope those brave soldiers make it home.


Samus: Snake... are you crying in that box over there?


Snake: No.


Samus: You totally are!


Snake: No I’m not.


Digby: I hope they get home quickly, too... Isabelle has a tendency to get lost quite easily...


Tiki: That... may not be the best for her... I hope they aren’t wandering aimlessly through the woods right now...

Chapter Text

Life continued on relatively normally from that point onward. Surprisingly, the announcer did not acknowledge the events that had happened in the past few days, and when seeking counsel with the hands, the fighters were turned away. Something really had gotten into them, that was for sure.


In wake of their recent (and sudden) absence, the chief of hotel operations decided it was time to take things into his own... hands.


Mark, the middle-aged man who ran much of the things the hands didn’t, noticed the ruin that the hotel was turning into. The recent “Mii-pocalypse”, as the kids were calling it, had left the place in shambles. Walls were marked up with sword and bullet holes. The carpets were full of dirt and mud from the messy Miis. The whole darn place smelled like a used car lot.


Yes, Mark was set on fixing it all.


Rallying the staff of the hotel, Mark began to explain the task at hand.


”Attention, staff!” The man cried out. He had been passing white buckets of paint to each and every worker in attendance. “Something needs to be done about this dreadful place. I know many of you went into hiding when the Miis came— shameful, really— but the place needs to be maintained!”


”Why didn’t you do anything?” A freckle-faced teen asked, looking at the bucket.


Mark waved a dismissive hand. “I was on vacation. The Hands gave it to me.”


”That sure was one long vacation,” a young woman pointed out. “Are you sure they didn’t want to make it perminent?”


”I’ve been here since the first tournament!” Mark exclaimed. “Them firing me... pah! For what?”


”OSHA violations?” Another remarked.


Again, Mark waved a dismissive hand. “I’m not responsible for all the crazy-powerful residents we have here. I just man the front desk. Now are you going to get working or what?”


”I don’t get paid enough to do this,” the same teen worker from earlier complained.


”I don’t get paid at all! I’m fairly certain we all were created just to run this hotel, okay?” Mark snapped. “Get painting!”


With a few last groans and grumbles, the army of workers set to work.



Peacefully, Mark added a fresh layer of paint to the wall before him. He was in a great mood! Humming happily to himself, he dipped his paintbrush back into the bucket, before applying it to the surface before him.


”... distant sparks call to a path still unknown,” Mark sang quietly to himself. For some reason, that song had gotten stuck in his head, and he couldn’t get it to go away.


As he sipped his brush lower into the bucket again, he found that there was somebody standing there, staring at him.


Or, well, some squidkid.


”Bwello!” Orange the inkling waved. After months of living in this space, all of the inklings has began picking up on parts of the English language. Their pronunciation and comprehension of it, however, could still use some work.


Mark was delighted by his visitor. How adorable! He combed a quick hand through his dark black hair— a nervous habit of his— before kneeling to get down to her level.


”Well, heya there, squiddo!” Mark remarked, ruffling her ‘hair’ with one hand. The squid let out a flurry of soft laughter. “What brings you here?”


Orange took a moment to process his question, before staring marvelously back into the paint bucket. After a moment, she pointed at it with a toothy grin. “Bwowsher!”


”Slosher?” Mark asked, tipping his head off to the side. Orange let out an excited noise, as if telling him he’d hit the nail on the head. Mark shook his head ‘no’. “That’s just a bucket, silly.”


”Dwerf bwar?” Orange asked, tilting her head to the side.


Again, Mark shook his head ‘no’. “We’re just painting. Making it pretty, y’know?”


”Bwitty?” She asked. This time, Mark nodded his head ‘yes’. The prospect got Orange excited. “Bwee hewbp!”


”Help?” Mark mused, before chuckling. He didn’t know much about the inklings, but he did know they have a thing for painting. “Sure, kid. Hey, I’ll even get you and your friends some paint!”


Orange cried out happily, before going off to find the rest of the inklings.


Little did Mark know of their plans.



The next morning, Mark returned to see the work the inklings did on his beautiful hotel. 


What he saw nearly stopped his heart.


The walls— plain white ever since he had started here— were splattered with... color?! Colors of all the inklings. Just by looking at it, Mark knew which rambunctious squidling did the job.


”W-What in the—?!” Mark sputtered aloud. The inklings returned to the spot of their greatest artwork, and waved at Mark.


”Bwello!” Cyan grinned.


Mark didn’t respond, taking in the sight. There seemed to be an art to the randomness. The shocking colors tickled his corneas.


Solid Snake walked in, a coffee cup in his hand. Taking one glance around, he sipped deeply and loudly.


”Looks like a unicorn threw up in here,” Snake commented. After a beat, he added, “I think I like it. White was a little boring.”


Mark nodded his head. After the innital shock wore off, it really did grow on the man.


”Yeah...” He mused, rubbing a finger through his five-o’clock shadow. “Y’know? I kinda like it. Squids?”


All 8 inklings turned their attention towards Mark.


”I think I’ve got another job for you. This whole hotel needs a makeover!”

Chapter Text

"Happy Mother's Day!"


The cry was so startling that Rosalina almost rocked over backwards in the comfy arm chair she had been occupying. She had been peacefully reading in the lobby when she was startled. It took a moment for the space princess to calm down, before addressing the situation. The Luma in her lap, awoken from the sudden expression of gratitude, let out a sleepy murmur, similar to that of a river bubbling along. Rosalina's attention was now upon the one before her.


Before her was a specific boy, with hair as yellow as the sun that shone upon it. His smile- however rare and fleeting it may be- was just as brightly illuminating. Lucas stood before her, a shy kind of smile painted upon his features as he held something behind his back.


"Lucas!" Rosalina exclaimed, placing a hand over her (admittedly, still excited) heart. "You nearly frightened me to death!"


Lucas's expression died. "W-What?"


Rosalina noticed the error in her choice of words, and quickly wove her hand to remove the idea. "No, no... I didn't... It wasn't supposed to come out like that..." She muttered, before shaking her head. Her brilliant blue eyes shone upon the young boy once more. "It is Mother's Day today, isn't it?"


Lucas's face lit up once more, although not quite as bright. "Mhm!" He nodded happily. "I... I actually got something for you..."


"There was no need to do that," Rosalina assured him, finally closing the book she had been reading and placing it on the armrest of the chair.


"I know," The young boy said. "I wanted to."


"In that case, then, what have you for me?" She asked, tilting her head ever-so-slightly to the side in curiosity. The Luma in her arms mimicked the action.


Sheepishly, Lucas brought his arms in front of him. In the hands he held a card with the words "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, ROSELINA" written proudly in marker upon it. Touched, Rosalina didn't even correct the misspelling of her own name.


Alongside the words there was a picture. It was no artwork akin to the likes of Vincent, but the love in every colored stroke was nearly enough to send Rosalina into a bout of happy tears. Before her eyes was an image of her likeness and Lucas embracing, outlined beautifully in a red heart. Surrounding them were the many colors of Lumas that accompanied Rosalina into battle.


Rosalina gazed upon the card for minutes on end, her heart full and glowing. A smile took residence on her face, as she lifted her gaze. Lucas was timidly looking at his tennis shoe, with his arms crossed sheepishly behind his back. When he noticed that Rosalina was looking at him, he rose his own vision.


"S-So?" Lucas asked. "I... I worked real hard on it..."


In response to his question, Rosalina opened her arms to the young boy. Without hesitation, Lucas came forth to retrieve the hug.


Rosalina's arms were always a safe place for Lucas to be. Letting out a gentle sigh, he melted in her lap. When he was in her hugs, the world didn't seem so bad. All his life, bad things had happened to him. At the age of nine, he'd lost most of his family members. The ones who were still alive didn't seem to acknowledge his presence. Rosalina was the complete opposite of that. She was always there for him. He was certain that he could come to her at any time of day and ridicule her with the most monotonous of questions and she would take them in stride.


It was almost like he had his real mother back, and he wanted to make sure she knew that.


Every year since Hinawa's death, Lucas visited her grave on Mother's Day. For hours on end, he'd sit at the grave site and talk. Sometimes he'd listen. Sometimes he'd hear something. Just being with his mother on that day made him feel more sure of himself. While no one could truly take Hinawa's place in Lucas's heart, Rosalina came awfully close.


"I love it," Rosalina told her surrogate child. She held tightly to the boy, her physical affection giving Lucas all the affirmation he needed. He smiled against her, letting his eyes fall contently closed.


This was the best Mother's Day a mother could ever ask for.

Chapter Text

I’m Bright and early in the morning, the Wii Fit Trainers were doing their morning warm-up. Stretching their muscles, both trainers hummed along with the early-morning jazz that floated through the air.


It was mornings like this that both of them loved.


”I sure hope the hands reinstate the tournament soon,” The Male Trainer sighed. “I’m beginning to lose my stride. It’s very... odd. Spending all day in the hotel like this.”


”I agree,” The Female Trainer mused, reaching down and out to stretch her legs. Over her shoulder was a green towel. “As much as I do enjoy our workouts in here, I wish to get out on the field again and show the others the true power of physical fitness!”


The Male Trainer only hummed in agreement, as he moved around some equipment. The number of Smashers that came to their early morning workouts had began to plateau. Both trainer wished to attract more attention and get the whole hotel moving.


Except for King Dedede, of course. He was a lost cause.


Today would be a game day instead of the rigorous workouts they were used to.


A friendly game of tennis.



Friendly was the last word to describe what happened out on the courts.


The doubles tournament caught the eye (and competitive spirit) of the stagnant Smashers. If they couldn’t kill each other in hand-to-sword-to-gun combat, they could definitely kill each other out on the tennis court!


Some teams faired better than others, however. Daisy and Luigi were an obvious pick. With Daisy’s athleticism and passion for winning, nothing could go wrong. Luigi was along for the ride as always, but the two worked off of each other so well that they practically made an impenetrable fortress of tennis swings. Left and right, teams fell to their power.


“Nice try, Pitstain,” Dark Pit groaned to his lookalike. The unlikely duo were forced out on the field together by Palutena in order to ‘bond’. The whole thing went about as well as one might expect.


”C’mon! That was totally out of bounds!” Pit complained. The Toad who was refereeing shook his head.


Daisy cheered out, as another victory went under her belt. Happily, she scooped her doubles partner into a tight hug. “Way to go, L! Ooo, we kicked their butts!”


Luigi let out a sheepish laugh. “Y-Yeah! We’re-a gonna win!”


In another court, Cloud had come out to play. Surprisingly, the SOLDIER was pretty good at tennis...


... on account of his tennis racket.


”There is no way that thing is legal!” Ken complained.


Cloud triumphantly placed the card table-sized tennis racket on his back. “You’re just jealous that you didn’t have the idea,” Cloud boasted. Dr. Mario, who was his partner, let out a small snicker.


”Perhaps he’s compensating for something,” Ryu said, his voice as stoic as always.


Perhaps it was the line, or perhaps it was the delivery, but Ken nearly spilled his guts laughing.


Lucas and Ness were doing well on their own. The two PSI boys didn’t even use their hands, instead levitating the rackets and moving them with their minds.


Unfortunately for them, Fox and Falco were fast enough to keep up. Zipping here and illusioning there, the two anthropomorphic pilots lobbed back each shot and volley with perfect ease.


Watching the competition go down, the Wii Fit trainers made eye contact with one another and smiled. It was go time.



“40, love. Game set!”


The Wii Fit Trainers high-fived each other, as Wario and Waluigi shouted profane things. Another victory, another step closer to winning their own championship. Not that there was anything really on the line. It was all for fun after all.


The Wii Fits were absolutely dominating. First, they had taken down a pair of Robins. It had been a bit of a struggle, being against magic users and all, but they went down without too much of a fight.


Next up to the court was Incineroar and Little Mac. These two were... pushovers. Little Mac refused to remove his boxing gloves and therefore could hardly hold the racket. Incineroar was too busy boasting after every return to be of much use. After what felt like a few minutes, Mac and his cat were gone.


Finally came Wario and Waluigi. The two had experience, for sure, but they had their flaws. Wario was short and stubby, while Waluigi was tall and lanky. Once their weaknesses were exposed, the troublemakers were done for.




The voice made the Trainers turn their head. Before them was Daisy, holding her racket and pointing it at them.


”It’s you we need to beat to win this thing. I hope you brought your A-Game, because without it? You’re dead meat.”


The Trainers gave each other glances. Was that fire in her eyes?


”D-Daisy, we’ll play nice...” Luigi said shyly.


Daisy’s eyes turned to Luigi, who nearly jumped.


Welp, there was that competitive spirit he so loved.


The Female Trainer gave her a competitive smirk. “You are on.”




Wack. Wack. Wack. Wack.


Over and over the tennis ball was returned like an old copy of Brawl. Again and again and again.


It was enough to make someone go mad.


Daisy was fully in the game, focusing entirely on one thing: winning.


Luigi... was tired.


Huffing and puffing, the Italian sat down to catch his breath. Daisy didn’t even seem to notice. She was going all the work, anyway.


The same could be said on the other end of the court. The Female Wii Fit Trainer was working her butt off trying to outdo the other team, while the Male Trainer stood by trying to catch his breath.


Luigi made a signal to the other man. He used his fingers to make a walking motion, before miming gulping down a cup of water.


The Male Trainer glanced at the Female Trainer, who was in her own little world. A moment later, he flashed Luigi a thumbs up.



”Refreshing. It’s important to stay hydrated during physical activity,” The Male Trainer smiled.


He and Luigi sat in a set of lawn chairs, watching the game go on. The doubles match had turned more into a singles match, as neither woman wanted to lose the game.


Back and forth, forth and back.


”Mhm,” Luigi mused into his cup, rolling the ice cubes around. A beat paused, before he turned to the other. “I... I have a silly question,” He said.


”Go ahead,” The Male Trainer said. “There are no silly questions!”


”Do... Do you have a name?” Luigi asked. “I-I mean, other than ‘Male Wii Fit Trainer’.”


”Yes, I do,” He responded, taking another sip of water.


There was a moment of silence between them. After another second, Luigi asked another question. “Can... Uh... Can you tell me what it is?”


”My name? Oh, right. My name is Chad,” The Male Trainer said.


”Interesting,” Luigi hummed. “Imma happy to meet you, Chad!... What about her?” Luigi asked, pointing to the (passionate and angrily sweating) Female Wii Fit Trainer.


”Yes, she does too,” Chad explained. “Her name is Chelsea.”


”I see,” Luigi mused. It hit him that this was the only time he’d really spoken to the other. He was so filled with questions. “How... How do you-a know Chelsea? Are-a you two gym buddies, or...”


”She’s my wife,” Chad explained.


”Oh,” Luigi said, a bit shocked.


The Male Trainer turned his head. “Hm? Is something wrong?”


Luigi shook his head. “No! No, I’m happy for you. I, uh... I just-a didn’t expect any prearranged relationships. There’s-a no arch to go through, y’know?”


Chad blinked twice. “No. I don’t.”


”Oh,” Luigi muttered, awkwardly going back to his water. He sipped until it was all gone. Daisy and Chelsea continued to go back and forth with no signs of stopping. “She’s... real competitive... and so is-a Daisy,” Luigi pointed out.


”Do you think Daisy is going to give up any time soon?” Chad asked.


”Not a chance,” Luigi sighed.


They were going to be there a while.

Chapter Text

Once more, the Villain’s Club was back about their usual buisness. The big baddies lounged around in their ‘lair’. The lumpy, black couch that was the centerpiece of the whole room housed two certain villains today.


Ganondorf and Bowser, the head honchos of the whole operation.


The Gerudo King cracked open a hard soft drink, taking a deep swing of it before holding idly onto it. The outdated TV played some program about a family creating video diaries for their youngest member.


Interdimentional television was weird.


Bowser stretched his arms, yawning deeply. “Donno why, but ever since that whole Mii takeover thing, I haven’t been sleeping as well as I used to.”


”Probably because you slept for five days straight,” Ganondorf pointed out. “It messes with your sleep schedule.”


Bowser let out a huff from his nose. “At least those Mii bastards knew a real threat when they saw one.”


Ridley walked into the club room and spied the two villains seated on the couch. He looked over their shoulders, noticing the program on the TV. He scoffed. This again? Those two were really invested in these humans.


Ridley made his way to the mini fridge, grabbing himself a mason jar filled with a black, tar-like substance. In a vulture-like motion, the space pirate swallowed it all down.


”When’s game night?” Ridley asked, cocking his head to the side. A dribble of the substance dropped to the floor, and was soon eaten by the Piranha Plant. The poor plant gagged, disgusted by the ‘food’. What the hell was that?


“We were going to play ‘Team Uno’, but we need an even number of players,” Bowser explained, an annoyance in his tone. “We need Wolf.”


”K. Rool has multiple personalities. Can’t we just use him instead?” Ridley suggested. The carnivorous croc let out an offended sound from his tiny plastic chair. He most certainly did not! Or, that’s what K. Roolenstein had told him, anyway.


”It doesn’t work like that,” Ganondorf said. “He’d be cheating off of his own cards.”


”How does someone play ‘Team Uno’ anyway?” Ridley asked. A beat passed. “... We could always invite King Dedede go join us.”


Ganondorf and Bowser both gave an incredulous look.


”I hope you’re kidding,” Bowser said.


Ridley didn’t answer.


”What about that Joker kid? He seems pretty evil,” Ridley said. “Or your kids, Bowser! We could get one of them—“


”I’m sure the Koopalings don’t want to hear all the embarrassing stories we tell of their dad,” Ganondorf chuckled.


”What about Meta Knight?”






”Somewhat dubious morals, but overall good.”


”Mr. Game & Watch?”


Both bruisers gave Ridley another look. Was this space dragon out of his mind?!


”... Right. I understand now,” Ridley muttered, tossing his glass bottle into the trash. It shattered, and an awful smell erupted from the can. It nearly wilted the Plant. “We need Wolf.”


”No one knows where he went,” Ganondorf said, taking another drink of the soft alcohol in his hand. “He wasn’t in his room after the Mii takeover like the rest of us. That bastard’s probably roughing it on some distant planet for all we know.”


”Not likely,” Came Mewtwo’s telekinetic voice. It sent a shutter down everyone’s spine. Oh right. Mewtwo had been invited to the club, too, hadn’t he? “His Wolfin is still in the Hotel garage.”


”How do you know that, brainiac?” Bowser defied, rising to his feet.


Mewtwo gazed into Bowser’s eyes for a moment. “... I checked.”


Bowser huffed, sitting back down.


”He’s probably in the woods around here,” Ridley stated, tapping his chin. “He never did turn up at the motel to assist us.”


The villains thought for a moment in silence. The only noise was Kaptain K. Rool tuning up his gun.


”How far do you think he’s gotten?” Ganondorf asked. “We could honestly set up a search party.”


”All this to play Uno?’ Mewtwo asked, raising an eyebrow.


The villains gave each other looks.


”It’s better than sitting around here all day,” Bowser shrugged. “Besides. I’m itching to take my Clown Car for a spin again.”


”It’s settled, then,” Ganondorf said with a crooked smile. “We’ll set off into the woods to find Wolf as soon as we can.”


Ridley groaned. He was sick of the woods.


The Villain’s Club began to gather their supplies, preparing for their voyage into the dense forest that surrounded their hotel home.


All so that they could play ‘Team Uno’.

Chapter Text

“Junior! Junior, where are you and where are my keys?!”


Bowser’s fatherly booming could be heard all throughout the hotel. It would be a miracle if Bowser Jr. didn’t hear his father.


”I swear, this kid—!” Bowser groaned, searching around.


Eventually, he found Bowser Jr. and the rest of the Koopalings hiding out in the main lobby. All 8 of them.


Bowser crossed his arms, giving his adopted children and Junior ‘the look’.


”What is it, dad?” Roy Koopa asked.


”Somethin’s got your goat!” Morton pointed out.


”And you’re giving us the ‘dad’ look!” Lemmy pointed out.


”You know what I want,” Bowser said, his tone stern. Almost aggressively, the king of koopas thrusted out his hand, motioning for the keys to be given to him.


”What so ever could you mean, pop?” Wendy poked, her tone innocent. Too innocent. A few of the boys snickered.


”The key to my Clown Car,” Bowser specified. “Where are they?”


”I donno,” Ludwig hummed, rocking on the balls of his feet.


”Gee, me either!” Iggy chortled.


”Maybe a little blackmail is in order!” Larry cackled.


Bowser’s brows frowned downward. Oh, these kids. Just as despicable and cheating as he had raised them to be.


He couldn’t have been more proud. And annoyed.


”I can’t believe you’d cross your dear old dad like this!” Bowser exclaimed. “What is it that you want, anyway? Money? Something you’ll find ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ for a week and then forget about?”


”We want to come with you,” Bowser Jr. responded.


Bowser went silent at this request. Really silent. He stared ahead. Out of all the things these rascals wanted, they wanted to come with him?!


”No,” Bowser said, shaking his head. “It’s too dangerous for all of you.”


The crowd of Koopas burst into cries of ‘please’s and ‘come on’s. The koopa kids desperately wished to join their father!


”You did let us come to this fighting tournament where we brutally fight people with swords and guns,” Bowser Jr. pointed out. “This won’t be any different, dad! Can we please please please come with you?”


”Where’s dad even goin’?” Morton asked Ludwig. Ludwig hit him in the arm, before shushing him.


”Out of the hotel, and that’s all I care about.”


”Absolutely not,” The protective turtle dad said.


”It’ll be a liiiiiittle hard to get anywhere without your keys,” Wendy said.


”Oh yeah! We hid ‘em real good! Didn’t we Iggy?” Lemmy giggled. Iggy nodded enthusiastically.


Bowser was steamed. “Give me those keys!”


”We don’t have ‘em,” Roy told Bowser. “But we know where to find them.”


”If you let us come with!” Ludwig added quickly.


Bowser could tell when he was bested. But he didn’t think his own Koopa kids would play him for a fool like that. With a resigned sigh, Bowser gave in.


”... Fine. I suppose we may need a little extra help, anyway... Just give me my keys.”


The Koopalings burst into cheers.



“Took you long enough,” Ridley joked, as Bowser finally flew up in his Clown Car. Behind him rode all 8 Koopalings. Each of their own karts was connected to Bowser’s with a leash. “And I see you’ve decided to make this a family outing!”


Piranha Plant sauntered up to the Clown Car, before hopping in. Much like a dog, the Plant stuck its head out the ‘window’, tongue spilling out of its mouth.


”You even brought the family pet!” Ganondorf jabbed, placing on a bunnyhood to keep up with the others.


”Can it. You guys think you’re real clowns, don’t you?” Bowser snapped back.


K. Rool peddled in on a tricycle that was much too small for him. Surprisingly, the big croc was able to maneuver around the thing quite well.


For a moment, each of the baddies stared at their fellow villain. Even Dark Samus seemed to be shocked by the sight before her.


”I bet you five Smash Coins we lose him next,” Ganondorf wagered.


”No need. He’s already off the deep end,” Bowser returned. That got a laugh out of the other villains.


”Are we gonna get going or what?” Bowser Jr. asked, growing impatient. “I’m only gonna be a devious Koopa Kid once! Let’s move before I look like the old man there!”


Ganondorf frowned. “Fine, fine. You have a point. We have a card game to play.”


And, with that, the villain’s club set out of the garage and into the wilderness to search for the feral pilot.


... with K. Rool peddling behind them.

Chapter Text

Wolf returned to the makeshift camp they had set up. Luckily for him, he had been stranded in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of survival experts. The villagers were all but building a tiny village right here in the middle of the woods. The tents they had created out of nothing more than twigs and leaves were more comfortable than many of the... dwelling places, he had been in in his time with Star Wolf.


Isabelle sat comfortably under a large tree. Rain was pouring down, making the path they were on nothing more than slushy mush. Completely impossible unless one had a vehicle.


A luxury they did not possess.


”Where’d you go?” Isabelle asked Wolf as he returned to the camp. There was no accusatory punctuation in her question. Only simple curiosity.


”I tried calling the Wolfin again,” Wolf explained, holding up the keys to the flying machine. “No use. The trees must obscure the signal, or something like that.”


Isabelle expelled a disappointed sigh. There was no way they were still fine. The Hands would have them skinned when they got back to the hotel.


Wolf, sensing her distress, moved to sit beside her. He placed a flawed hand upon her shoulder. “Hey, don’t you worry, Is. We’ll be just fine when we get back. We’ll just have to explain to the big guys where we were, and they’ll let it pass.”


His reassuring words made her take a breath of relief. Her hazel eyes opened to him. “You think so?”


Wolf nodded. She seemed to relax a little. Wolf smiled. Seeing her let a handful of worries go made him feel great. “Better?”


”I would be,” Isabelle said, an air of playfulness in her voice. “But you smell like a wet dog!”


Wolf huffed a laugh. “You don’t smell too hot yourself, missy. You’d best watch where you’re sticking that nose of yours.”


Wolf poked her on the snout. Isabelle giggles softly, her eyes turning away from the other. Moments like this made her realize just why she’d fallen for him in the first place. Being in a dire situation like this one, and still being able to remain calm? It was just like him.


”Wolf?” Isabelle asked, turning her eyes back to him. “... where did you go?”


”I already told you. I went to try—“


”No. Where did you go before?” Isabelle clarified.


Wolf thought for a moment, before he remembered. “Oh,” he said, rubbing at the back of his head. “Where did I go.”


Isabelle nodded, as if waiting for an explanation. Some sort of reason. Anything.


”During visitor’s week, I realized something. About you, and about me,” Wolf started, his eyes avoiding hers. “When you asked me to come and meet your visitor, I never expected that you—“


He was cut off by the three villagers running in a panic towards the two of them. Both dogs turned their attentions towards the villagers.


”What in the goddamn—?” Wolf started.


”Language!” Isabelle shouted.


Wolf’s language went away, as he stared ahead at what the Villagers were fleeing from.



”Mush! Mush!”


Bowser sat in his Clown Car with the umbrella up. The light pittering of rain tinkled on the fabric, as the King of Koopas was kept nice and dry. In the car, he was sipping away at a fruity juice. One of his favorites.


The Koopalings used the combined strength of their 8 Clown Cars to pull their father’s. Of course, trying to bring the Koopalings anywhere was like trying to herd cats.


Piranha Plant was still sticking its head over the railing of the car, this time drinking in the tasty, delicious rain water. It had no idea what was going on, or where they were going, but it absolutely loved it!


”This rain sure does have dramatic timing,” Ridley complained. He was flying close to the ground to avoid potential lightning strikes, but still remained skittish. Ironic, being that he kept Pichu as if the little rat was a son of his.


”This way!” Wendy suggested.


”No, you dolt!” Ludwig interjected. “We have to go this way!”


”I bet Wolf’s that way!” Larry shouted.


Iggy crossed paths with Roy.


Roy crossed with Morton.


Morton’s wheels dug into the soft earth below him. Morton was heavy.


Soon enough, the Koopalings were a mess of tied ropes.




”Daaaaad!” Junior cried out. Bowser was roused from his dosing, groaning the whole while. “We’re stuck again!!”


Ganondorf groaned. “We’re never going to find wolf at this point.”


King K. Rool suddenly froze up, an ear skyward. His screwy eye seemed more screwy than usual. King K. Rool snapped his jaws rapidly.


Ridley stood up straight. “... I think the nutjob has a point. Do you hear that?”


Everyone paused, hearing what sounded like distant thunder.


Or cracking trees.



Wolf had only seen glimpses of the creature through the trees, but the fear it instilled in the fearless fighter pilot was beyond him. He took a note from the Villagers’ book and turned tail.


Isabelle, too, was right behind him. With a howl, they darted through the mud.


What the heck is that thing?!” Isabelle shouted.


”I was hoping you knew!” Wolf returned.


Whatever it was, it was massive, and powerful. The Creature, as Isabelle decided to dub it later, pushed trees over as if they were toothpicks. Through the leaves, Isabelle made out a grotesque face with foliage covering the places where flesh would be. From what she had seen, there was an incredibly thin body with many arms. Its stare was startling.


All five of the runners shouted and screamed, abandoning their yearn for each other or search for the hotel. Their survival instincts took over and they ran.


They ran fast, and they ran hard.


The crew parried this way and that way. The cracking and crunching of trees seemed to fade.


All at once, the adrenaline drained from their bodies. Air was hard to find, as each individual sucked in as much breath as they could.


“I... I think... We’re safe,” Wolf puffed out, leaning against a tree for support.


“I hope so...” Isabelle all but whined.


The purple shirted villager managed to shoot a thumbs-up. The other two laid flat in the mud.


Suddenly, the yellow villager was scooped up by a purple blur. A scream went up, and a fresh surge of adrenaline surged through their bodies.


Both Wolf and Isabelle tried to run, but soon found that they weren’t getting anywhere. Their heels spun in the mud, as a force held them by the back of their shirts.


Please don’t kill him!” Isabelle cried.


Kill me, I deserve it! Not her!” Wolf pleaded.


Ganondorf tilted his head to the side, a crooked kind of smile coming to his face as he held the two terrified dogs.


”I’m just about ready to,” Ganondorf said. “You nearly missed out on Uno.”



”That is the hottest crock of bullshit I’ve ever heard,” Bowser said, his arms crossed.


The Clown Car was now packed. Isabelle and the Villagers shared a blanket, shivering from the nerves and the cold rain.


Wolf, being the unlucky and gentlemanly bastard that he was, was forced to walk alongside the car.


”I-It’s true!” Isabelle protested. “T-There was... this big scary monster! Right?”


The Villagers and Wolf nodded.


”I don’t believe it,” Ridley said. “Why would it exist? There’s no reason for a creature like that to be out in the middle of nowhere!”


”Maybe it wasn’t the middle of nowhere,” Ganondorf said. All eyes turned to the King of Evil. “I frankly believe it. I don’t know about any of you, but in my world, large, hulking creatures guard important places. Places the average Hylian shouldn’t be.”


”What’re you saying, old man?” Wolf asked. “That there’s something important out in those woods? I thought they were just for decoration.”


”Maybe,” Ganondorf shrugged. “But maybe the hands hid something out there.”


”Whatever it was, it was terrifying,” Isabelle murmured, a fresh shutter going through her. If only Wolf’s jacket wasn’t soaking wet...


No, she shook her head.


”I’m just glad to be home,” Wolf muttered. “My feet are killing me.”


”Which way’s home?” Lemmy asked. “That way?”


”No! That way!”


”You’re all idiots! The hotel is that way!”


Bowser let out a sigh, knowing already what was next.





From the depths of the woods, The Creature watched as they departed. Good. None of the fighters were to be snooping around that deep into the woods.


Retreating, the Guardian of the Reset Temple returned to rest.


For now.

Chapter Text

Fox and Falco were wandering the numerous hallways of the hotel. Every tournament it seemed to get bigger. Grander. There was always something more to see, just around the turn. It always amazed both pilots.


The place was so familiar, and yet, so strange.


”So, I turn to my significant other, and I says, I says... how dairy!” Falco exclaimed, almost beside himself with laughter. “Y-y’get it? Dairy? Like, like, dare he?”


Fox, on the other hand, was not so amused.


”Two problems,” Fox said, holding up two fingers. “One. You’re single and always will be. Two. That joke sucked.”


Falco scoffed at Fox. “Pah. Everyone’s a critic.”


Turning once more around the corner, Fox and Falco found something... strange.


Someone else was in this secluded location of the hotel. Multiple somebodies.


Or, well, they heard voices.


”You hear that?” Falco asked. “Or have I finally lost my marbles?”


”No, no. I hear it too,” Fox mused. Twitching his ears, the StarFox commander listened, and listened intently.


He followed his ears, until he found what seemed to be it. An air vent above. There was a distinguishable male voice coming from it... and some voices the two pilots had never heard before.


Reaching upwards, Fox touched the vent. Dust came spurting from it. Both of them coughed.


Once the fit was over, Fox turned to his pilot-at-arms with that determined look in his eye.


Falco knew it all too well.


”Nu-uh. No way, McCloud. We are not going in there!” Falco rejected. “I don’t care what kinda bullshit you throw at me, I’m not goin’ up. There’s dust, probably spiders, and the risk of ruffling my feathers. Forget it”


”Fine then,” Fox shrugged. He began to hoist himself upward to the huge metal contraption. The tips of his fingers lightly touched the cold metal.


”Don’t even try to protest. I’m not listening,” Lombardi said, putting his wings over his ears.


”I’m not protesting. Go on back if you want to,” Fox retorted. Eventually, he managed to get the hinges off of the panel. Jackpot.


”I knew you’d pull that card!” Falco accused, turning back to Fox. “No, McCloud, I don’t want a promotion. I’m fine where I am!”


”What the hell are you talking about?” Fox asked, boosting himself up. He poked his head out of his foxhole to stare at his birdbrained buddy. “Are you even listening to me?”


”Fine. Fine. You’ve done it, Fox. You’ve talked me into it,” The other Arwing pilot exclaimed, throwing his wings up in exhaustion. “You’ve convinced me. Happy? You won. And I won’t even take anything from you! Hoist me up.”


With a roll of his eyes, Fox did just that. The voices were getting louder this way.



Fox and Falco crawled through the air vent for what felt like hours. In reality, it was only a few minutes. It was just incredibly slow going.


”Could you make some room?” Fox groaned, as the clambered through.


”Without a building permit? No I can’t, asshat,” Falco hoarsely whispered back.


The voices were growing. Along with them, so was the curiousity of the two.


Suddenly, Falco stopped. “Oh my lord,” The bird gawked.


”What? What is it?” Fox asked, trying to shimmy his way over to what Falco was looking at.


Falco didn’t move. Fox nudged him. Still, the bird didn’t react.


”Frickin’...” Fox groaned. “Fine, fine. Whatever.”


Fox crawled over towards the opening in the vent that led to another room. His eyes opened wide, and his jaw hung agape at what he saw and heard.


”So you’ve never seen a real human before, then, kid?”


It was Solid Snake, sitting comfortably in an out-of-the-way meeting room. Around him, Inklings swarmed. Colors of all kind tickled Fox’s eyes, as he stared.


And then they started talking.


”Nope!” Orange exclaimed happily. “It’s, like, totally bulbfish to see a real life one!”


”They’re all over where I’m from,” Snake mused, playing with an unlit cigarette. “... and too many of them go too soon.”


”Isn’t there a respawn point?” Cyan asked, tilting his to the side.


Snake stared long and deep into the table. “... I wish, kid. I wish.”


”What do you mean, ‘they’re gone too soon’?” The Yellow Inkling, known affectionately as Agent 3, asked.


”When you die in my reality, you die for good. There are no respawns or retries. You’ve got one shot. And we don’t play around with paint,” He added.


There was a moment of silence amongst the Inklings. A world without respawns? The idea was unthinkable.


A world with respawns would be nice.


After a pained second, Snake stood, grabbing his Smash Communicator. He flicked the translate button to ‘off’. “Thanks, squiddos, but I’ve gotta be off. Told the Duck Hunt Dog that I’d see him around now to play fetch.”


The Inklings, in their natural tongue, waved Snake goodbye, before leaving themselves.


Fox and Falco gave each other looks of disbelief.


”Did you hear them?!” Falco exclaimed. “They can talk?!”


”I think the Communicator was doing the translating,” Fox suggested, as he put two and two together. Idly, he felt his own Communicator. “Why hadn’t I ever thought about that?!”


”Really?! Holy crap, think of all the possibilities!” Falco exclaimed. “Kirby, Donkey Kong... Hell, maybe even the Villagers!... Though, they may be selectively mute, like that Link guy...”


”Link too!” Fox exclaimed. “Maybe it can translate his grunts!”


Falco let out an excited shout. “Wow!”


The two scurried out of the vents with all new acquired information, and an excited air about them.


What else could these crazy Smash Communicators do?!

Chapter Text

Incineroar lay sunning himself in the lobby. A spot near the window was a terrific spot for the cat to bask in the sun and warm his body. Not that he really needed it... he was a fire-type, after all. However, the rays felt great on his coat, and the sun was always a friend.


Grumbling his name lowly, Incineroar rolled on his side, enjoying himself a nice slumber.


... right on top of a supply chest.


Of course, this caused issues with the hotel staff. No one dared to interrupt Incineroar’s sleep. None of the workers had a deathwish, after all.


”I’m not touching that thing,” A young man said, looking on. “It’ll tear me limb from limb! I donno if you knew it or not, but I actually need these arms.”


”It’s like a real lion... but that lion’s incredibly muscular and also lit on fire,” Another worker said. The two of them shuddered, before moving on. Hopefully Mark would understand their hesitance.


Mark, however, did not.


”What do you mean, you can’t get into the chest?!” The manager asked aghast. “You’ve got the key to the chest... it can’t be that hard to get a vaccuum out!”


”No, it’s not that—“ A worker tried to explain.


”Bah, whatever. If you need something done right, you do it yourself. Gimme those keys,” Mark requested.


“Mark, those keys won’t—“


Mark took the keys anyway, turning the corner. Right before his eyes was the same scene that had greeted the others. A sleeping wrestler-cat hybrid.


Incineroar snored his name again.


”... Oh,” Mark said, a bit taken aback. “I think I see the problem.”


”Oh, do ya?” The worker he’d been arguing with said, sarcastically. “Was it the wrestling cat? Or was it the fire hazard that would definitely violate OSHA?”


Mark didn’t listen. He, unlike the others, approached the sleeping fighter.


A group of onlookers gathered. With baited breath, they watched their manager creep up on the cat.


”Ten coins says that he’s dead,” A young woman bet.


”Make it twenty,” Another wagered. They shook hands.


”Alright, kitty. Nice kitty... but you have to move,” Mark said.


He pushed on the sleeping cat. It didn’t move.


Mark pushed and pushed, but Incineroar didn’t seem to go anywhere. After a few moments of pushing, Mark gave up, huffing and puffing.


Incineroar slept on, moving back to the position that was most comfortable.


”Hm. Okay. Y’wanna play hardball? We’ll hardball,” Mark monologued.


Taking his hand, he placed it on the scruff of Incineroar’s neck and pulled, just like his momma had taught him to do to baby kittens.


But Incineroar was no baby. Incineroar was a hunk of pure muscle.


Once more, the cat did not move.


”With all due respect, Mark, if that was your hardball, you’ve set a low bar,” An older male worker jested. This garnered laughs from the rest of the onlookers.


”What? What? It’s an awkward angle to grab from!” Mark said, trying to redeem himself. “If it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?”


The worker backed down. Incineroar might be a heavy sleeper, but that didn’t mean the cat couldn’t maul someone to death. Probably.


Mark scratched at his five-o’clock shadow, thinking of a way to resolve this issue.


”Anyone got a doggie whistle?” He asked the crowd. Again, they all laughed.


A whistle did ring out, however. Instantly, Incineroar sprung to life. His eyes were wild with searching.


Little Mac stood in a nearby doorway. The boxer whistled again, and wave the heel Pokémon over his way. “C’mon, Sriracha! You’ll never get anywhere layin’ around!”


The cat sprung from his comfortable sleeping spot to join Mac. In his haste to return to Mac’s side, Incineroar almost knocked Mark on his backside. Happily, Incineroar purred beside him.


”Mario told me you looked like you needed some help,” Little Mac commented. “Somethin’ about a big cat?”


”I coulda done that!” One worked said. Mac offered them to do it. They refused.


Out of breath, Mark gave a smile. “Thanks. Bet we looked like complete idiots.”


”Mostly just you, Mark,” Little Mac joked. He waved himself out, and away the duo went.


Mark smiled to himself, rolling his eyes. Crazy kids. Good kids. He shook his head, returning to the task at hand.


”Alright! Playtime’s done!” Mark commanded. “Time to vacuum!”


The workers came to the chest, and removed the vacuums from their spots. However, they were... peculiar. A long slash mark accompanied every vacuum present.


”What in the world...?” Mark asked, inspecting the vacuums.


Claw marks.


Incineroar hated vacuum cleaners.

Chapter Text

Link crouched low behind a bush in the outside garden. The Hero of the Wild had been doing what he did best— adventuring— when something caught his keen eye.


A scampering through the grasses. It caught his eye and focused his vision. He gauged the situation, and realized soon that whatever it was that was scurrying in the grass was no immediate threat to him.


Moments passed before the thing finally poked its head out of the green.


Pichu happily stood. A white flower was perched on its ear, and a happy smile on his face. The little mouse was ecstatic with the day today! It was beautiful outside. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the trees were perfect to nuzzle against and absorb some of its shocking electricity.


Pichu watched a junebug fly by with great interest. He had never seen a Pokémon that small before! With eyes wide with wonder, Pichu followed the bug, unknowing that Link watched from afar.


Link continued to watch the mouse in the field. The triforce wielder’s mind worked on two principle questions, and currently, it was running through those questions.


Is it an immediate threat?


Can I eat it?


Link’s stomach growled, interested. The mouse seemed unfazed by the bug landing on its nose. Instead, Pichu flopped on his back, giggling its own name.


”Pichu! Pi, Pi!” Pichu exclaimed to his new buggy friend.


Link almost felt bad for hunting such a small creature. Surely such a thing wouldn’t fill him up that much. The Hero had an unquenchable appetite. He was able to eat large sums of food without question. The Zelda from his world often asked him how eat ate so much, yet stayed in such good shape. Link always answered with a shrug.


However, this wasn’t about filling up. This was about expanding his ever-growing pallet.


Link reaches for his Sheikah Slate. Flicking it on, Link flipped to the camera rune. Zooming in on the creature that lay not too far off, he snapped a photo.


The rune told him many things about the small mouse. It was a Pichu. It had electric properties.


It was edible.


That was all he needed to know. He put the slate away before actually reading any recipes. That would come later.


Reaching for his bow and arrow, Link began to take aim from his spot in the bush. One well-lined shot and he would have himself some dinner. His mouth was watering just thinking about it.




Link’s focus was broken, and the arrow careened away, missing his target by a landslide. The bug buzzed away, and Pichu was snapped back into reality. The little mouse shook its head, looking for its bug friend.


”Pi? Pichu?” Pichu asked.


Angrily, Link turned to see who had interrupted his important shot. His eyes soon met this world’s Zelda.


Despite not serving her, Link bowed his head to the princess. A habit, he supposed. Even the Zelda of his time had yet to break him of it. 


“Enough of that,” Zelda commanded. Link rose his eyes to meet her again. He remained kneeling, however. “That wouldn’t have been very wise of you.”


Link’s brows furrowed in confusion. How could taking game to eat not be wise?


Zelda rolled her eyes, hands resting at her hips. Ooh, this Link was about to get the scolding of a lifetime! “That’s Pichu, you nitwit! One of the fighters in this tournament! Not some wild boar, or something like that! Do you know what kind of heyday the Hands would have with you if you killed it?!