Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life, I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
Johnny walked to the house as the sun was setting. He had sent Gheorghe into the house earlier to rest since he had been working alone on the farm all day. Johnny had driven Dad and Nan to the hospital that morning. The doctors wanted to run several tests on Martin to determine the effects the most recent stroke had on him, and they were keeping him overnight for observation. Deirdre decided to stay with him, so Johnny returned to the farm around late afternoon.
As he passed Nan’s flower garden, Johnny saw the bright red tulips. He impulsively picked a handful to give to Gheorghe. He wanted to show his appreciation for Gheorghe offering to stay at the farm and take care of the animals, so Johnny could go to the hospital with his dad. He also remembered Gheorghe placing daffodils in mason jars on the table the first time they had dinner alone. He hoped Gheorghe would like the tulips; he was trying to be more romantic. In the six weeks since Gheorghe returned to the farm, Johnny had also been trying to be more open and thoughtful. He didn’t want to lose Gheorghe again.
He kicked off his boots by the door as he called for Gheorghe. He shook his head ruefully as he heard Gheorghe say he was in the kitchen; he should have known Gheorghe would not be resting. Walking towards him, he smelled the delicious aroma of supper cooking. He guessed Gheorghe was taking the opportunity of Nan being away to use the kitchen; he knew Gheorghe liked to cook.
Gheorghe was standing at the stove, stirring something in a pan. As he looked over his shoulder to greet him, Johnny saw him smile widely at the flowers in his hand. Johnny shuffled his feet as he walked over to him. He was still awkward showing his softer side, but it was worth it to see Gheorghe’s smile. He felt a flutter in his stomach every time Gheorghe smiled at him.
“Here,” he said, handing the tulips to Gheorghe.
“Thank you, John,” Gheorghe said, smiling gently as he brought them up to his nose. “They’re beautiful, although Deirdre might not like you nicking her flowers.”
“Aye, but you deserve them.”
Johnny felt Gheorghe’s arm slide around his waist and pull him closer. Gheorghe leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.
“Come with me,” Gheorghe said, taking Johnny’s hand and leading him to the dining room.
The dining room table was already set with candles and a mason jar full of bluebells. The violet flowers looked bright and cheery.
“Oh, you already picked flowers,” he said, a bit dejected by the thought of Gheorghe choosing his own flowers.
Gheorghe placed the tulips into the jar and spent a minute arranging them to his liking. Taking Johnny’s hand again and giving it a gentle squeeze, Gheorghe said, “Now it is perfect.”
“Reckon they look good together,” Johnny said. He liked the way the red tulips looked beside the violet bluebells.
“Yes, they are different, but they fit together,” Gheorghe said, looking meaningfully into his eyes.
Johnny felt his cheeks heating up as he blushed. He knew Gheorghe wasn’t only talking about the flowers. He and Gheorghe were different, but they seemed to fit together too.
“What did ye make for supper? I’m starving,” he said, changing the subject.
“Sarmale and mamaliga.”
“Smells good, but I don’t know what that is,” Johnny said as they walked back into the kitchen.
Gheorghe chuckled. “Sarmale is cabbage rolls stuffed with pork and rice. Mamaliga is polenta. Usually I make mamaliga with sour cream and cheese, but we do not have sour cream. So I just used the sheep cheese, hopefully it will taste good.”
“I’m sure it will,” Johnny reassured him.
Gheorghe plated their food while Johnny grabbed two cans of beer out of the refrigerator. He had cut back drastically on his drinking since Gheorghe moved into the house with him, only drinking one or two cans a day. He didn’t feel a need to drink until he passed out. He didn’t have to drink to forget his miserable life because he was finally happy.
As they ate supper, Gheorghe asked him how Martin was and what tests the doctors were running. Johnny then asked him about the animals, but Gheorghe reported that everything was fine, no need to worry about anything.
Johnny insisted on washing the dishes since Gheorghe cooked, but Gheorghe helped him, claiming they would finish faster. He couldn’t fault that logic because any way to go upstairs faster with Gheorghe was a good thing in his opinion. He had been thinking of trying something new, and now with the house to themselves for the night, he thought it would be the perfect time.
“Let’s go to bed,” Johnny said as Gheorghe finished drying the last dish.
“You are tired?” Gheorghe asked.
“No,” he said. He slung his arms around Gheorghe’s neck and kissed him firmly.
“You are excited by us having privacy and not having to be quiet. Are you planning on making me scream tonight?”
“More like hoping you’d be making me scream,” Johnny said, blushing at the thought of telling Gheorghe what he wanted.
“John? What are you saying?” Gheorghe asked, his brown eyes wide with confusion.
Johnny rested his forehead against Gheorghe’s. He knew he had to say the words, but he still found it hard to talk about his feelings.
Gheorghe nuzzled against the side of his face and then held his hand. “We can talk about this upstairs.”
Johnny nodded in relief. He did find it easier to talk in their bedroom; he liked that Gheorghe knew him so well. They would shut the door and be in a world of their own. Johnny liked the feeling of safety and comfort their room gave him. He knew Gheorghe would listen to him and not judge him.
After shutting their door, Gheorghe led him over to their bed, and they sat down close together. Johnny faced Gheorghe and held onto both of his hands. He smiled as Gheorghe squeezed his hands in reassurance.
“Fuck, I don’t know how to say this,” Johnny said.
“Whatever it is, just say it,” Gheorghe said. “I am here for you.”
“It’s nothing bad,” Johnny said. “It’s just new, something I never done before.”
“It is something you want to do, here in bed?”
“Aye, it is,” Johnny said, looking into Gheorghe’s eyes, which were full of concern. Johnny knew he was making the right decision. There was nothing he wanted more in this moment. “I want you to fuck me.”
Gheorghe stared at him for a moment. “You are sure? You want to do that with me?”
“You’re the only one I want to do this with,” Johnny said, smiling softly. “I trust you.”
“You want this? You do not have to do this for me. I like you fucking me.”
“I want to feel you inside me,” Johnny said, his face blushing bright red. “I want to feel what you feel when I’m inside you.”
Gheorghe nodded and kissed him gently. “I will be good to you.”
“Aye, I know. You’re always good to me.”
Leaning in closer, Johnny kissed him and ran his fingers through Gheorghe’s thick curls. He groaned as Gheorghe’s hands slid under his shirt, touching his hot skin. He wanted to be naked and feel Gheorghe’s body on top of his; he wanted to feel Gheorghe everywhere.
They stopped kissing and quickly shed their shirts. Johnny fell onto his back and pulled Gheorghe on top of him. He let out a whimper as Gheorghe kissed down his neck, sucking a mark where his neck met his shoulder. Johnny held Gheorghe to his neck with one hand fisted into his hair, and his other hand caressed his strong back muscles, clutching sharply every time he felt teeth bite into skin.
Needing to feel Gheorghe’s lips on his again, Johnny pulled him up and kissed him passionately, sliding his tongue inside. The following kisses were wet and messy as they panted into each other’s mouths. Johnny groaned as Gheorghe moved his mouth away.
“Off,” Gheorghe grumbled as he unbuttoned Johnny’s pants.
Johnny enthusiastically agreed to getting naked and shoved his pants down his legs. He reached for Gheorghe’s pants and quickly unbuttoned them. His hands fumbled against Gheorghe’s as they both tried to get his pants off. Gheorghe growled and batted Johnny’s hands away as he stood up and stepped out of his pants.
Johnny watched for a moment, admiring Gheorghe’s naked body, before he opened the nightstand drawer and retrieved a condom and lube. He heard Gheorghe chuckle before climbing back onto the bed.
“Slow down, drăguţ,” Gheorghe said. “I want to take my time with you.”
Johnny moaned as he let his body relax into the mattress. He knew that Gheorghe liked going slow. He also knew that Gheorghe would want to ease him into it since it was his first time bottoming. He loved having sex with Gheorghe; it was a hundred times better than any of his quick fucks with strange men. However, he was going to burst out of his skin as he felt Gheorghe’s fingers play with his nipples. Ever since their first night together, Gheorghe learned how sensitive his nipples were, and he always made sure to pay them extra attention.
Closing his eyes, Johnny gave himself over to Gheorghe’s ministrations. He felt Gheorghe’s warm mouth on his nipple, and his fingers pinching the other one. He enjoyed the freedom of an empty house and let himself be as loud as he wanted. He moaned shamelessly as Gheorghe bit down hard on his hardened nipple. He felt Gheorghe smile against his chest as he pressed a soft kiss to the abused nipple before moving down his chest.
Johnny giggled as Gheorghe’s tongue dipped inside his bellybutton. He tried wiggling away but Gheorghe’s strong hands gripped his hips, stilling his movements. He groaned as Gheorghe’s tongue resumed its torment.
“Stop!” Johnny said as he giggled helplessly. “You know I’m ticklish.”
“Yes, but you look cute when you giggle,” Gheorghe said, smiling mischievously up at him.
Taking a deep breath, Johnny struggled to regain control of his body. He smiled back at Gheorghe; he couldn’t resist a happy, smiling Gheorghe.
“Get on with it,” he said, tilting his hips up to brush his hard cock against Gheorghe’s chest.
Gheorghe squeezed his hips briefly before shimmying down his body, face above his cock. He licked the head of his cock, collecting the precum gathered there.
“Is this what you want?” Gheorghe asked, pressing a gentle kiss against the side of his cock.
Johnny groaned loudly. “You’re such a wanker.”
Gheorghe laughed before engulfing his whole cock into his mouth. Johnny’s head fell back onto the bed with a thud. He fisted his hands into the sheets and held on as Gheorghe pleasured him. Johnny loved sucking cock, but Gheorghe was a master of it. He always knew how to make Johnny shatter in ecstasy. He rode the wave of pleasure as Gheorghe used his mouth to perfection. Just before the wave crested, Johnny told Gheorghe to stop.
Gheorghe slowly removed his cock from his mouth. Wiping his hand across his mouth, he asked, “What is wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Johnny said. “I just want to come with you inside me.”
“Alright,” Gheorghe said. He crawled up Johnny’s body and kissed him languidly, letting Johnny taste the flavor of his precum.
Johnny moaned at the taste of himself on Gheorghe’s lips and tongue. He felt Gheorghe skim his fingers along his side and then gently spread his legs wider. When a slick finger circled softly around his hole, he broke away from the kiss, gasping at the touch.
Gheorghe was looking at him with concerned, brown eyes, so he nodded. “Go on.”
Johnny thought it felt a bit odd when Gheorghe slowly pushed his finger inside and rubbed along the inside of his hole. He had tried fingering himself once when he was a teenager, but it really didn’t do anything for him. However, Gheorghe’s fingers were thicker than his, and he hoped they would make him feel better than his own had. Since Gheorghe seemed to know exactly how to touch him to bring him pleasure, he wasn’t really worried about not liking it. For now, it was just unfamiliar.
“Are you ok?” Gheorghe asked, sliding his finger smoothly in and out of him.
“Aye, give me another one, I can take it,” Johnny said.
“You will tell me if it is too much; I do not want to hurt you.”
“Just give it to me.”
Johnny held onto Gheorghe’s shoulders as he felt his finger withdraw and then two fingers pushed inside him. He knew he had to be stretched properly; he didn’t want to hurt. But, he just wanted to feel Gheorghe inside him. He wanted to know what it was like.
Gheorghe pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Hold on. I have an idea.”
Johnny watched as Gheorghe slid down his body, keeping his fingers still inside him. He felt hot breath on his cock, which had softened a little while Gheorghe was fingering him.
“This will help you relax,” Gheorghe said before he sealed his mouth over Johnny’s cock.
Johnny whined as the head of his cock touch the back of Gheorghe’s throat. His cock was hard and throbbing again in seconds. He barely felt Gheorghe’s fingers pushing into him and wriggling around. He fisted one hand into Gheorghe’s hair as his head bobbed on his cock, swirling his tongue around it.
Unexpectedly, a bolt of electricity shot through his body and his hips thrusted upwards sharply. He heard Gheorghe gag, so he quickly moved his hips back down.
“Sorry, sorry,” he panted. “What was that?”
Gheorghe removed his mouth, coughing a little. Repeating the previous movement of his fingers, he asked, “Do you mean this?”
Johnny keened as another burst of pleasure flooded his body. “Bloody hell, is that my prostate?”
“Yes, it is,” Gheorghe said as he continued pressing against that spot. “Now do you see why I like getting fucked so much?”
“I think I’m starting to get the idea,” he said, “but you better fuck me so I can really understand.”
“Soon,” Gheorghe said. “You are not ready yet.”
Johnny threw his head back in resignation. He knew Gheorghe would not be rushed. Gheorghe liked taking care of him, so he would be very thorough with his preparation. He wouldn’t hurt Johnny. Surprisingly, Johnny liked the feeling of being shown care and appreciation.
He moaned as he felt three fingers entering his hole. He moved his hips, chasing the fingers as they pulled out. He keened again loudly as the fingers thrust back inside, hitting his prostate firmly.
Soon, Johnny planted his feet on the bed and raised his hips, riding Gheorghe’s fingers with increasing speed and pleas for more. He writhed and begged for Gheorghe.
“Gheorghe, please fuck me.”
“Now, please, now.”
Johnny whimpered as Gheorghe’s fingers left him; he felt so empty.
“Shush, drăguţ,” Gheorghe whispered. “I’ve got you.”
Johnny clutched desperately onto Gheorghe’s shoulders and kissed him fervently. He felt so exposed, like Gheorghe could see all of him, even the parts he kept hidden. Instead of feeling vulnerable, he felt invincible. If Gheorghe could see all of him and still look at him with awe and affection, then Johnny felt like he could do anything. He was stronger with Gheorghe by his side.
He whined as Gheorghe moved away for a moment to put on a condom, but he grabbed on again as soon as Gheorghe was within reach. He nuzzled Gheorghe’s hand as it cradled his face.
“Do you want to stay like this?” Gheorghe asked. “Or do you want to turn over?”
“Like this. I want to see you.”
“Good. I like looking at you.”
Johnny blushed at that comment; he still wasn’t used to Gheorghe complimenting his looks. He thought Gheorghe was much more handsome than he was; he really didn’t know what Gheorghe saw in him.
Johnny held his breath as Gheorghe positioned the head of his cock at Johnny’s entrance. He nodded his head as Gheorghe paused and looked at him questioningly. He let out his breath in a whoosh as Gheorghe pushed steadily but slowly into him. Once he was fully inside, Gheorghe stilled to let Johnny adjust.
Feeling Gheorghe inside him was incredible. He felt whole in a way he never had before. It was like Gheorghe filled in all the missing pieces. He knew he was right to wait. He wouldn't have been able to share this intimacy with any other man, only Gheorghe.
Johnny opened his eyes to find Gheorghe staring at him with worried brown eyes. He smiled softly and tenderly kissed him.
“Good. I’m good. You feel good,” Johnny said, too overwhelmed to find the proper words to explain how he was feeling.
Gheorghe smiled at him. “You feel wonderful around me.”
Johnny ran his fingers through Gheorghe’s hair and kissed him again. Tugging at the dark locks, he said, “You can move.”
He felt Gheorghe slowly slide out and push back in. His thrusts were smooth and easy, like waves lapping at the shore. Johnny moaned as Gheorghe made him feel good, but it seemed like there was still more to be discovered.
He wiggled his hips as Gheorghe slid back inside and there it was. That was the spot. He cried out as Gheorghe’s cock brushed against his prostate.
“There, right there!” he yelled.
Gheorghe pulled Johnny’s left leg over his shoulder and tilted his hips up a fraction, and then he gave a forceful thrust. Johnny screamed out his name as pleasure shot through him. It felt even better than Gheorghe’s fingers.
Johnny wrapped his right leg around Gheorghe’s hips, pulling him in faster and harder. He ran his hands over Gheorghe’s shoulders and back. He buried his face against Gheorghe’s neck, panting and pressing wet kisses along his sweaty skin.
After a particular hard thrust, Johnny felt his cock bounce against Gheorghe’s abs. He had almost forgotten about his cock; he was too distracted by Gheorghe’s cock plowing into him.
“Gheorghe, I need…” Johnny trailed off in a whimper as Gheorghe kept hitting his prostate perfectly.
“John,” Gheorghe breathed out, dark eyes intense as he stared down at him.
Johnny gasped as Gheorghe managed to squeeze a hand in between their bodies and close around his throbbing cock. Gheorghe gripped him tightly and stroked in a rhythm similar to the pace of his fucking. Johnny’s orgasm was fast approaching. He needed just a small push to send him over the edge.
“Look at me, John,” Gheorghe said.
Johnny’s breath caught in his throat at the look in Gheorghe’s eyes. He looked wild, crazy with lust. All that intensity focused on Johnny.
“Come for me,” Gheorghe demanded.
Johnny’s body locked up as his orgasm rushed through him. He felt his fingers digging into Gheorghe’s shoulders, but he couldn’t loosen his grip. He needed Gheorghe to anchor him, or he was going to drown in all this ecstasy.
He vaguely heard Gheorghe moan into his ear and felt his hips stutter as he came too. Johnny closed his eyes as his muscles become lax, and he let go of Gheorghe.
Johnny’s awareness rose slowly as he took stock of his surroundings. He felt Gheorghe’s eyes on him, so he turned to his head to see Gheorghe lying on his side, staring at him with soft eyes. Johnny then realized Gheorghe was no longer inside him, and that he was clean. He smiled, thanking Gheorghe quietly.
“How do you feel?” Gheorghe asked. He picked up Johnny’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently.
“Brilliant. I never thought it would feel that good.”
Johnny rolled over and pressed his body against Gheorghe’s. He kissed him slowly, but it was full of passion that had always been there between them.
“Thank you for asking me to do this for you,” Gheorghe said. “Thank you for trusting me this much.”
“How could I not trust you?” Johnny asked. “You’re always taking care of me.”
“I like taking care of you, plus you care for me too. You make sure I do not work too hard, and you brought me flowers.”
Johnny smiled. “I know I’m not good with words, but you have to know you are the only man I want. The only man I could have done that with. I never wanted to get fucked by anyone until I met you.”
Gheorghe held him close and nuzzled along his jawline. “You are good with words. You are the only man I want too.”
Johnny held him tighter and rolled onto his back, bringing Gheorghe to lay over him. He heard Gheorghe sigh sleepily as he rested his head over Johnny’s heart. He absently traced his fingertips over Gheorghe’s back as he fell asleep. As he closed his eyes to join Gheorghe in slumber, he knew he would always remember tonight. It would always be a perfect, cherished memory.