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“Oh my God, this is amazing. Magnus, come here! This is the one we need to get.”

Alec is flat on his back on what must be the most perfect mattress he has ever encountered in his life. There’s nothing cozy about the blinding lights and the gray ceiling high above him, but he feels so relaxed he could just…doze off for an hour or ten.

“You look comfortable.” The bed dips, and Alec turns his head to see Magnus’ smiling face next to his. “Like a huge, tattooed starfish.”

Alec directs a dopey grin at him. “Hey, if you’re gonna be mean to me you’ll have to leave. My bed, my rules.”

Magnus gasps. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed, too!“

“I found it. It’s mine as long as you haven’t paid for it.”

“I thought you liked the memory foam one.”

“I did. It just gave me a feeling like…it had sucked me in and would never let me leave again, you know?”

“Maybe I’m the one who’ll never let you leave again, though.” Magnus’ face is suddenly a lot closer, tantalizingly so. Alec can’t help being pulled in, inching across the silky sheets little by little, until both their eyes slip shut as they meet in a kiss.

Somebody walks by, coughing loudly.

“Guess that’s our cue to leave,” Magnus murmurs against his lips. Then he rolls over and gets up, leaving only a cold, empty spot behind. Alec follows his example with a heavy sigh.

“Want me to go and get the sales guy?”

“Not necessary.”

“Magnus – you’re not planning to just,” he waves his hand around a bit, “magic this bed into the loft as soon as we get home, right?”

“Of course not! I’m not a thief.” He grins at Alec. “But I’ll transfer the money to the store as soon as we get home, and then summon a brand-new bed from their storage. Who knows how many strangers have already made out on this one.”




Magnus is typing on his phone when they step out of a portal and into their living room. It takes Alec about five seconds to walk through the hallway and into the bedroom, and sure enough, when he opens the door the new bed is already there. A tiny black cat is stretching and yawning on top of it, before it just plops down and seems to go right to sleep.

“…that was fast. I see the Chairman definitely approves of our choice.”

“Aww. ‘Course he does.” Magnus steps around him, sits down on the mattress and softly strokes his hand over the purring cat’s back.

“Wait…where did you put the old one?”

“Why, in your room at the Institute, of course. I took the liberty of pulverizing the abomination you used to call your bed.”

“Oh, that’s…great. I’ll never be able to be in that room again without thinking of, you know, but…thanks.” He clears his throat.

“Speaking of which,” Magnus says, “I think it’s customary for couples to christen the first bed they’ve bought together.” His suggestive eyebrow-wiggle should look ridiculous, but everything Magnus does just…works for Alec, really.

They hit the mattress hard as Alec pounces, smiling brightly into a kiss, and then promptly burst out laughing at the Chairman’s scandalized “meeooowr.”