His eyes were a common shade of brown, his mouth was rosy like most Koreans and his shiny black hair was nothing more than expected, everything in Yoo Taeyang was ordinary so how could he make me love him that much?
My life never made much sense, much less it was nice before he entered it, my parents were vaguely aware of my existence, my school friends found it amusing to imply me because I was always very quiet, being alone was more than a whim or egocentrism, was my only option.
My last neighbor before him was an old man who always liked to give me his old magazines because he thought I liked to read them, once he gave me a playboy saying that I was old enough to have fun with it, he hardly knew my taste was another, but I didn't wanted to destroy the happiness of a lonely old man at the end of his days, he was a good man, fortunately still there, just giving magazines to other lonely young men.
The first time I saw Taeyang was a sunny day, his black hair seemed to shine as he helped his parents remove the boxes from the truck, the funny thing is that the moment I saw him through the window of my room I was not interested, at first sight, he was just any common boy.
Who knows, if I had been a little more careful and noticed before the incredible boy that he was, I would have stayed longer by his side, but it's too late, I feel horrible for not seeing the incredible boy that Taeyang was before it was so close to the end.
After he moved on I only met him when my mother forced me to bring a welcome basket into her house, her argument that I should make more friends for being alone might have helped me for the first time, the basket had only just some cereals, a wine and a pie that my mother had made, probably apple, though I did not pay much attention to that detail.
I, Kim Youngkyun, am not a sociable person, so it was already imagining that I was shaking from the toes to the head to take the basket to his house, the moment I stepped in the garden I felt as if I had been hit by a ball at 50 miles per hour on the chest, my heart beat so fast that I swore I could die right there, but I would certainly die, happy.
The sleeves of his white shirt were up revealing his slightly defined arms, his black hair was wet denouncing that he had just showered, his pants were also lifted, he wore those rain boots completely filled with mud, though anyone who imagine the scene thought he was ridiculous, I can swear that I was seeing the most beautiful human being on the face of the earth.
His focused gaze, the faint smile on the corner of his lips, the way he touched those flowers with all the affection of the world, I was, at that very moment, completely charmed by Yoo Taeyang. It took me a long time to get his attention, I was admiring him for what I imagine were beautiful and very well spent twenty-four minutes until he saw me.
The moment his eyes met mine, I knew Taeyang was the light that was missing in my life.
And now that light was gone.
I had two beautiful months at his side, exchanging laughs, memories, smiles, he even taught me how to plant and take care of flowers, no matter that I hated to get dirty, as long as I was beside him I would be completely and perfectly well.
Now looking at the immensity of this blue sea I think how foolish I could be to let it go? I sit on the pier watching each of the birds fly as if they had all the time in the world, as if everything would be alright.
Taeyang had this aura, an aura of happiness, never saw him cry, complain or take that beautiful smile from his face, always so cheerful, how could not be suspicious?
He told me that he loved flowers but the sea frightened him.
He told me he knew gardening but was unable to swim.
He told me he was happy but he was afraid he wouldn't be.
I thought it was okay to keep my passion for him.
But I can never declare.
I can never tell how much he meant to me.
How much I loved him.
How much I miss him.
Because he went into the sea and never came back.