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Sam: "Who are you guys?"

Leviathan as Dean: "We're you," *flips out sunglasses and puts them on* "but cooler."


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Dean: Cas, how high are you?

Castiel: Dean, you're saying it wrong it's "Hi, how are you?"


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Sam: Where's Cas?

Dean: Have you checked the closet?

Sam: Why would he be in the-

Cas: *falls out of the closet holding red meat*

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Meg: I know exactly what you are.

Castiel: What? Tell me...

Meg: 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘯..

Castiel: *sighs*


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Castiel: Where's Meg?

Dean: ....

Sam: ....give us a moment Cas.

*the both of them turn around*

Sam: *whispers* Should we tell him?


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Castiel: *absorbs Purgatory souls*

Dean: Cas, what the fuck did you do?

Castiel: .......

Castiel: I didn't do anything..

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Dean: This place looks like upsexy.

Castiel: What's upsexy?

Dean: Nothing much, what about you?

Castiel: ....

Castiel: I don't get it.

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Castiel: *goes around playing God*

Castiel: *kills a priest in a Church*

Lady: *witnesses* Damn, he's so young and sexy even though he just killed someone.


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Cas: Meeegggg??

Dean: Cas, it's 1 in the morning right now you're going to wake people up.

Cas: But I'm looking for Meg

Dean: smh


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Dean: Have a safe trip!

Castiel: I have no say in that matter.

Dean: 𝘋𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯..

Castiel:...but..I can't die.

Dean: It was a j o k e.


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Dean: Cas, why do I feel like there's a hellhound in here?

Castiel: .....

Castiel: Maybe it's just you, Dean.

Dean: I'm serious man, I've been hearing a hellhound last night.

Castiel: Must be your imagination.

Dean: I felt it breathing down my n e c k.

Castiel: ..imagination....

Dean: Cas, are you lying to me?

Castiel: No... Sam: Guys, I found a hellhound.

Castiel: That's mine Dean: Cas, you lied.

Castiel: Oh... Dean: Cas. Castiel: Yes?

Dean: why do you have a hellhound?

Castiel: ... Castiel: No reason...

Dean: We have to get rid of it.

Castiel: No. Dean: Yes.

Castiel: I'm running away with it then, and I'm bringing Jack with me.

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Demon!Dean: If there were 3 people in the room: Cas, Sam, and Crowley, and I had a gun and two bullets.

Demon!Dean: I would shoot Cas twice.

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Meg: Cas is my unicorn

Cas: But...I do not have a horn...

Meg: You don't have too, ❤️

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Cas: Hey, Meg?

Meg: Yeah?

Cas: I miss you...

Meg: .....

Meg: Miss you too...

Cas: Where are you?

Meg: .....I can't tell you that...

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Nick: *kills Arty with a hammer*

Arty(ghost): ...well isn't this just fantastic..


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Jack: ᶜᵃˢˢ, ʷʰᵒ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵍ

Cas: ...

Cas: Friend...that I kissed...

Jack: ˢʰᵉ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵍᶦʳˡᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ

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Dean: Hey, Cas did you start that bonfire?


Castiel: That's not a bonfire...

Dean: ...

Dean: ᶜᵃˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

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Nick and Cas: *arguing*

Nick: Fuck you!

Cas: In the words of a good friend. Bite me-

Sam: *annoyed* Why don't you guys get a room and both do that!?

Dean: Get your mind out of the gutter, Sam.

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Souless!Sam: I don't care that you broke your rib-

Demon!Dean: Well then fuck you too-

Leviathan!Cas: Why do we keep on saying "Fuck you" even though we don't actually do that.



Leviathan!Cas: Leviathan!Cas: What?

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Cas: Why does the pizzaman look like Gabriel?

Sam: Sam: *throws laptop out of glass window*

Sam: That's enough internet for you.

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Sam: Will you two just say sorry already!?

Nick: Not until he says sorry first.

Cas: I do not understand, what did I do?

Nick: Because you're a cold body-stealer!

Cas: I had permission,


Nick: ThAt'S nOt An ExCuSe

Sam: Jesus friggen Christ, you guys fight like a couple.

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Cas: It's quite chilly

Nick: Well, no, duh; it's Winter

Cas: Is this what coldness feels like?


Nick: *angry sigh*

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Cas: Nick, I met an interesting boy

Nick: How so?

Cas: He was made of teeth-

Nick: oH HE L L N O

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Nick: Does Castiel have a sweet spot on his wings?

Sam: Why do you ask?


Nick: No reason, I just want to know.

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*power shortage at the Stronghold*

Cas: Nick, why are you holding my hand?


Nick: *looks at his hand holding Cas' and at Cas*

Nick: It's dark

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Leviathan!Cas: Hey, Sam you think I can get this egg into that jar without it cracking?

Soulless!Sam: No.

Leviathan!Cas: *throws egg at Demon!Dean's head*

Leviathan!Cas: Guess you're right!

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Dean: Cas, why are you on the ceiling?


Cas: Hide n' Seek

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Cas: Why do you keep on touching my wings?


Nick: They're soft..

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Dean: *calls Cas* Where are you?

Cas: With Nick, I can't leave because he's asleep.

Dean: Then leave?

Cas: He's ontop of my back, Dean.

Dean: Roll him off then,

Cas: Won't that wake him up?

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Cas: It's dark-

Gabe: Don't worry bro! I got this! *stomps foot down and his sketchers light up*


Sam: We have a flashlight

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Nick: did it hurt?

Cas: Did what hurt?

Nick: when you fell from heaven?

Cas: *insert flashbacks of the angels falling:

Cas: *sniffs* YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS *cries*Nick: what the fu-

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Sam: That's it, we are no longer inviting you to Family-game night.

Nick: Why?



Dean: Literally, everything was on FiRe

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Dean: No no no no no no.

Castiel: Hi, Dean-

Dean: *punches Cas in the stomach*

Castiel: Augh, what the FuCk!?

Dean: You are, one of my very best friends; and I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like that. You're so young, your so BeAuTiFul.

Castiel: *strained voice* What the fuck are you talking about?

Dean: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.



Nick: See ya. *walks away*


Dean: Ha, not after that punch your not, I've been taking multi-classes.

Castiel: I was never pregnant. DeAn.


Dean: You sure?


Sam: *walks in* Excuse me, but why the FUCK is everybody yelling over here?

Dean: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and-

Sam: !!!

Dean: I was sure-

Sam: *punches Cas in the stomach*

Castiel: Oough MoThEr FuCkEr!!

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Jack: It's an avacado! Thaaankss

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(I recently watched a show called Lucifer)

Lucifer: Don't tell me that this guy is me!

Gabe: That's you, but taller

Cas: Why are there two?

Gabe: Because I brought him here.

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Dean: *stabs Cas*

Cas: I can't believe you've done this.

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Dean: Meg, I have the Mark of Cain; how do I get rid of it? We tried everything!



Meg: I'm sorry but..

Dean: But what?

Meg: *gets out a hacksaw* We have to cut off your arm, you can get a new one.


Meg: *raises hacksaw* Hold still,

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Jack: *sniffs*

Dean: Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you if they did I'll stab-

Jack: All of my nougats are gone

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Balthazar: Who's idea was it to put Cas on the Christmas tree.

Gabe: You said every Christmas tree needs an angel.

Balthazar: Gabe, we are ALL angels, literally.

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Dean: No, this is The Hand of Go-


Jack: *aggresivly taps cookie cereal box*

Cereal Box: 911 what's your emergency?

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Cas: *on tree* Gabriel? Can I get down now?

Gabe: Not yet, 'lil bro!

Balth: He's been up there for 12 hours, Gabe.

Gabe: No need to worry, Balthy-

Balth: Don't call me that,

Gabe: -I'm a responsible older brother for Cassy, I can handle this!

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Cas: The boy made of teeth is back, he says he's hungry.

Dean: Wait so you weren't lying?

Nick: You hunt things Supernatural and yet you said that teeth boy doesn't exist, I'm leaving now *takes a hammer and waltzs out*

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Castiel is stuck on the Christmas Tree

Gabriel is hoarding all of the candy canes

Balthazar is trying to get Cas down from the tree

Raphael is trying to cook

Lucifer is setting fire to the Christmas supplies

Chuck is watching the chaos unfold


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Castiel: *comes home with three grocery bags*

Sam: Cas, why are there 9 bottles of Ramune? I mean bags of nougats, I get, but, Ramune.

Castiel: Charlie introduced me to them and I thought they tasted good so I bought some more.

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Nick: I'm not gay.

Cas: *walks into room to get some papers*

Nick: *mutters under breath* OK maybe I'm a little gay...

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Sam: Dean, why is everything labeled? I found a label that says "human" on my forehead.

Dean: I might've given Cas and Jack a label maker.

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Dean: Hey, you wanna know who's gay?

Cas: Who?

Dean: You. ♥️


Cas: I am indifferent to sexual orientation, I have no idea what you mean.

Dean: Jesus friggen Christ.

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Sam: Dean, come home quickly.

Dean: Why?

Cas: *in the background yelling help*

Sam: Cas got his wings, stuck in the ceiling fan and I need another person since I can't see his wings.


Dean: *sighs* I'll be home.

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Dean: *eating icecream*

Dean: My mouth is cold

Cas: *smirks* Want me to warm it up for you?

Dean: *blushes* yes..

Cas: *hands Dean hot cocoa* Here!


Dean: *dies inside*

Cas: This is what you asked for, right? *insert head tilt*

Dean: S-sure, yep, d-definitely

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Cas to Micheal: FIGHT ME!

Nick: Stop telling everyone to fight you, look how small you are!

Cas: My height doesn't affect my ability to snap someone's neck in 97 different ways! INCLUDING YOURS!

Nick: You can't even reach my neck, sweetie~

Cas: Do you really want to test me now!?

Cas: Because I see step stool just a foot away from me. DO NOT MAKE ME USE IT!

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Nick: I'm the most responsible one in this group!

Cas: You literally just set the kitchen on fire.

Nick: Yes, and I take responsibility for that.

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Meg: You're a horrible person!

Nick: And you're a demon who wears double eyeliner

Meg: Atleast it makes my eyes look good.

Cas: *quietly* it does...


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Meg: Why are you sad?

Cas: I am experiencing what humans call "Brooding" when they look out the window into the distance.

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Sam: Dean, you have to hide the label makers, Jack and Cas are labeling everything!

Dean: And?

Sam: They put a lable on the pies,


Dean: Help me find the lable makers.

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Meg: Ahem.

Cas: *holding a shoebox* This isn’t what it looks like.

Meg: Are there puppies in there?

Cas: ..yeah Meg: You know they aren’t allowed in the bunker, right?

Cas: ....yeah

Meg: If you’re gonna smuggle them, in at least do it right, give the box to me, I’m a professional;

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Dean: Does anyone else smell dog?

Meg&Cas: No.

Dean: I can smell dog, Sam’s not here so it must be you two. Bonnie and Clyde. C

as: I’m not Cly-

Meg: Haha. I can assure you, Dean we didn’t do anything.

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Meg: Why are there two Lucifers? And why is one of them wingless?

Lucifer2: I had Maze cut of my wings.

Meg: And?

Lucifer2: I burned them.

Cas: Why?

Lucifer2: I didn’t need them anymore.

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Meg: This is my boyfriend, Cas and his boyfriend, Nick, and I hate Nick.

Dean: How does this work?

Meg: Cas is indifferent to sexual orientation, so he can still date me while dating Nick and Nick is kinda gay for Cas, and Nick hates me.

Dean: Uh...

Meg: It’s not that complicated

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Monster: I ain’t talking

Jack: *takes out knives and sharpens them* I have ways of making people talk

Jack: *begins cutting the cake*


Monster: Can I have some?

Jack: *eating cake slice* Cake is for talkers

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Cas: Get down from there!

Meg: *is up on bookshelf* No way!

Cas: I'm going to call the cops

Meg: Go ahead! I'll fight them

Cas: I have cookies

Meg: *rolls down and grabs cookies* I totally would've fought them

Cas: I know you would

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Jack: What's this? What's this? There's something in the air.

Jack: What's this? There's bright shit everywhere.

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Nick: I have an idea

Cas: We're not going to kill anyone


Nick: Then I've got no ideas

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Dean: I have no fears.

Cas: What if Sam was 11'8 tall?

Dean: I have one fear.

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Dean: Is that an angel blade in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Cas: *takes angel blade out of pocket* It's an angel blade.

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Meg: Why are there flower crowns everywhere?

Cas: Dean said I have to do something else in my free time.


Meg: Can I help?

Cas: Yes,

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Dean: You don't need to eat nougats all the time.

Jack: And you don't need to drink beer all the time or sleep with women, so I guess we're on the same page.

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Dean, Sam, Meg and Cas are wearing shirts with words

Dean has the word F
Cas has K
Meg has C
and Sam has U

Dean: Hey Cas you should switch places with Sam

Cas: Why?

Dean: Just do it Cas: OK

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Meg: So....where'd you find that Hellhound?

Cas: I smuggled her from Hell...


Meg: *sniffs* I taught you so well, I am proud of you.

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Cas: There's only one thing worse than a murderer *takes down paper revealing the word "people"*

Nick: People

Cas: n o

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Raphael: The subconscious mind is a powerful and mysterious thing, I learned about it in this book.

Micheal: Raphael, that's a Romance Novel.

Raphael: Y-yuck, that's not. Mine-someone must've stuck it in there as a joke.

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Charlie: I walked into a room just to see two people making out. So I walked out.

Sam: Did Dean find a hooker?

Charlie: Yes...yes he did.

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Cas: You remind me of the ocean.

Dean: How so?

Cas: Salty.

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Officer: How do you plead?

Dean: Uh...

Sam: *mouthing "Not guilty"*

Dean: Dean: milky.


Sam: Take him away.

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Abaddon: Abandon all hope, for I will kill every one of you.

Dean: *snirk* Don't you mean...Abaddon all hope? *loud laughter*






Abaddon: I'm going to kill you first, Dean.

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Random person: Dies Random

Hunter 1: This is so sad, Pikachu play Despacito.

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Dean: Cas I gotta tell you something

Cas: What?

Dean: I love your uh.....*reads smudged writing on hand* (it was supposed to say eyes)


Dean: Hips...


Cas: Dean, that's inappropriate...

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Cas: Say frog

Young!Jack: .....FuCk

Cas: N O

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Sam: How do you want your coffee?

Cas, in a bad mood: Darker than the emptiness of my soul.


Sam: Two spoonfuls of sugar with cold-brew whipped cream it is!

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Cas, drunk: *standing on roof* IM ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD

Dean: Cas, get down from there!


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Dean: Hey, hey Cas look at me.

Cas: Yes Dean?


Dean: Bitch


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John: Who are you!?

Cas: I'm Dean's friend,

John: Dean doesn't have a friend!

Cas: That's because he doesn't tell you anything.

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Dean: Just kill me already.

Demon 1: You're not getting out of this that easy, the boss wants a word with ya.

Demon Mob Boss: *walks in with intimidatingly*

Dean: *sweats*

Demon M.B: *high pitched voice* You think you can come into my territory? And take what's mine!?

Dean, laughing: W-what!?

*Dean laughing in the bg*

Demon M.B: What? What's so funny?

Demon: Yeah, haha- That's not- That's not funny PUNK.

Demon M.B: Alright, you'll be sleeping with the fishies.

Dean, tearing up, smiling: F i s h i e s?!

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Nick: Is that a truck? CASTIEL MOVE THERE'S A TRUCK.

Oh my god, it's getting closer.

CASTIEL THE TRUCK'S COMING! Oh my god, he has headphones on. He can't hear me, oh my god.

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Cas: Dean said I'm not allowed to cook anymore.

Meg: Why?

Cas: He said I ruined pie for him.

Meg: Cook behind his back then,


Cas: OK,

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Sam: Oh my God, Cas are you alright!?

Cas: The doctor says that I have internal bleeding, I don't know what that is but

I'm alright because I'm not hurt that badly.

The blood is where it's supposed to be.



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Nick: and how exactly will you stop me?



Sam&Dean: We'll call your boyfriend.


Nick: I don't-'re talking about Castiel

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Demon 1, after trying to deal with Cas: This is killing me.

Meg: Good, die.

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Castiel, holding two hellhound puppies, and still mad at Dean: I'll have you know that you've disappointed the three of us.

Dean: That's cold, Cas.

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Dean: How do we get him to talk?

Kevin: I got this.

Sam: What're you gonna do? Annoy him into talking?

Kevin: *gets out a guitar and grins*


Kevin: *plays guitar very badly and yells*

Demon: *just stares discomfortly*


Kevin: Nope, didn't work.

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Castiel: Of course I have to yell, I'm fucking 5'11 tall I can barely reach the top of this dresser to hide Dean's beer!

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Young!Cas: Bobby! Dean called me the b-word!

Bobby: DeAn!

Young!Dean: Motherfucker doesn't start with a B. Bitch.


Bobby: I'm starting to question your father's parenting skills, Dean.

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Dean: Cas, I don't want you hanging around Meg anymore.

Cas: Why not?

Dean: *opens laundry cleaner* I just have a-

Meg: *head pops out of laundry cleaner* YeAh, WhY nOt!?

Dean: Oh GoD nO

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Bobby: Alright, time for bed, Sam.

Young!Sam: Mr. Snuffles says I can stay up as long as I want, and you need to DIE.


Bobby: What the heck, Mr. Snuffles?

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Nick: Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong.

Cas: Grief isn't wrong.

Nick: Well, there's such thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

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Meg: Gabriel mislabeled the weapon, like an idiot. It almost got filed with the wrong case which could've blown months of work!

Cas: Gabriel filed a complaint against you

Meg: Did he do it in crayon

Nick: Nope, but he did use a green pen.

Cas: I thought it was a colored pencil.

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Sam: You know the cold medicine you gave Cas?

Meg: Yeah?

Sam: It was the non-drowsy kind, he took that and then he drank 2 cups of coffee after that.

Dean: He's all over the place

Cas: HEY! Hey, hey, guess what!? There's a video file and the eyes were glowing! SHAPESHIFTER!

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Lucifer: I'm a good older brother for Raph, Gabe and Cass. I never let them out of my sight- oh look at the time. Gotta go, Raph keep an eye on Gabe and Cass.

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Micheal: I'm a responsible brother like Dad always said. Nothing goes wrong when I'm in charge.

*meanwhile in the background young!Lucifer got hold of a flamethrower*

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Cas: I thought you were Lactose intolerant.

Nick: This isn't lactose, it's milk *drinks milk from cup*

Cas: *concern*

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Dean: *sits on side of bathtub seductively* I see you don't have a lifeguard here at the beach.

Cas: *confused*

Cas: I'm not at the beach, this is a bathtub.

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Cas: You can't just go around killing people!

Lucifer: *wearing terminator sunglasses and tuxedo* Why?

Cas: What do you mean why? You just can't!


Lucifer: Why?

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Ruby: I’m a good friend

Cas: You tricked Sam into killing Lillith to free Lucifer


Ruby: Oh, you’re right! I’m a great friend!


Cas: Someone hand me the crucifix.

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Dean: Since I found out you have a Hellhound, and told me not to kill it; what’s its name?

Cas: Her name is Koifish.

Dean: That’s a horrible name for a Hellhound.

Meg: No, it’s not, Cas can name her Koifish if he wants to. *smug grin*

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Jack: Sam,

Sam: Yes?

Jack: Dean told me to tell you this.

Sam: Tell me what?

Jack, imitating Dean’s voice: Jack, tell Sam that he’s a bitch.

Sam: Was this about the jalapeño in the pie incident?

Jack: Yes

Sam: Tell Dean I’m hiding the keys to the Impala for teaching you that word

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Meg: *kicks down door* Guess who’s back from the dead!

Cas, sad puppy-dog eyes: Y-you were dead?

Meg: *panicking* U-uh! No! No I wasn’t, that was a metaphor, uh- I was just- uh...on...o a farm!

A farm that was very far away, yeah!

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Gabriel: *recording*

|Insert HD video quality, the video shows Cas and Dean|

Gabriel: And here we have the human, trying to attract his date by using mating calls.

Dean: *strums random guitar strings while sounding like a dying animal*

Castiel: *nervously scoots away from Dean*

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Cass: Kitchen! *points at Kitchen*

Cass: Meeting room! *points at the Bunker's meeting room*

Cass: Bathroom! *points at bathroom*

Cass: Bedroom! *points at bedroom*

Cass: *opens closet door* Closet! *points at closet to see a dead body*

Cass: OH MY GO-

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Dean: I'm driving!

Nick: Shotgun!

Sam: Aww! But you had it on the way HERE

Dean: Woah woah woah!

Nick: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat, *cocks gun*

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Nick: *holding megaphone whiled driving a car* If you fuckheads could pick up the pace that would be fucking stellar this shit's moving slower than Dean Winchester running a hurdle race.

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Lillith: and they were roommates! *walks past Nick*

Nick: Oh my God, they were roommates.

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Nick: Look at the buns on that guy *points at an unconscious person on the floor covered in hamburger buns*

Cas: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Sam&Dean: *runs in with sunglasses FBI style*

Nick: *pulls out a gun* I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL

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Nick: *strumming Ukelele* Hey, how you doing? Well I'm doing just fine, I lied. I'm dying inside

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Spider: *exists*

Jack&Jesse Turner: *hiding behind Dean's back*

Dean: Alright guys, nothing to be afraid of!

Jack: Look!

Spider: *is gone*

Dean: Shit


Dean: Say goodbye to the house kids *drives away*

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Leviathan!Cass: Remember one time, I liked you?

Demon!Dean: No?

Leviathan!Cass: Good, cause, never happened!

Demon!Dean: Aww

Leviathan!Cass: Haha! *holds up middle finger* Hooo!

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Micheal: I can make people work for me, against their own will. I mean, I can control monsters!

Dean: Bet'cha can't get a 'Yes' from me, bitch.


1 second later


Micheal!Dean: I left the door open, who's laughing now. Fool.

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Jesse Turner: I am a Cambion, half demon, half human.

Jack: I'm a Nephilim, half angel, well archangel and half human.

Jesse T.: *whispering with watery eyes* Are you my half-brother?

Jack: Well...we are both half human, so yeah!

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Nick: I have killed a lot of people and don't feel bad about it whatsoever because I need Lucifer back

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*Gabriel and Castiel are looking at a magic fire thing*

Gabriel: lol, look Cassie a dork joined the two brothers *touches fire*

Gabriel: ouch

Castiel: It's fire, Gabriel; it's hot.

Gabriel: *pouty face* I know I was there


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Nick: *Behind a glass wall holding phone* What do I hate the most!?

Castiel: People!

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John: Dean, why are you housing a Cambion!?

Dean: Me, Sam and Cas adopted him; I mean, Jack's gotta have someone like him.

John: Half-human?

Dean: Yeah!


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Mary: What

Nick: Hi

Mary: Who are you?

Nick: *tries to think of something*

Nick: A friend

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Azazel, possessing John: This is a foolproof plan!


Dean: Dad, here have a french fry

Azazel!John: Thanks, son! *eats french fry* *suddenly insides are burning*

Dean: French fries have salt, bitch

Azazel!John: Fuck

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Dean; eating pie Sam; the bunker is on fire. you can save me or the pie, what do you choose

Dean; well that's not a fair question

Sam; h?? ow??

Dean; the pie doesn't have legs

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Nick:I killed a man.

Castiel: Don't do that, please.

Nick: Too late, hun; I killed two more, sorry.



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Dean: Why are you on a tree?

Nick: Castiel says that I'm in trouble.

Dean: What for?

Nick: Attempted murder spree and I tased a woman.

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Sam: I am surprised that Cass got mad at the both of you at the same time What did you do.

Nick: Crime, got 'grounded' and ended up in a tree for the next 3 hours.

Dean: Told him his cooking's bad, *sniffs* he didn't talk to me for 3 weeks.


Nick: Are you OK?

Dean: N o

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Dean: What'chu got?

Nick: I made a hat, that's powered by s a d n e s s

Nick: *puts on hat and floats away*

*Loud flute music playing*

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Jesse Turner: Jack, I can't sleep

Jack: Neither can I

Jesse: Wanna bake pie?

Jack: Sure


10 mins later pie explodes in the oven

Meg: What did you two do!?

Jack&Jesse: We tried to make pie

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Crowley: I'm here to talk to Dean, he killed one of my bloody contractors again.

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Asmodeus: You were supposed to find Lucifer'S son

Dagon: You're forgetting the fact that I d i e d

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Jack: Sam, your one of the best out of my 3 dads

Sam: Awww- OK what'd you break?

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Dean: Can you two go talk somewhere else? I'm trying to watch TV.

Sam&Castiel: We're talking about the pit 𝘺𝘰𝘶 fell in

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Nick: Oh shit the cops, I stab a demon in the eye and this is what I get- oh wait it was because I stole a truck, nevermind

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Meg: Hi, Clare-

Castiel, with combed hair: Yes?

Meg: What happened to your hair?

Cass: I combed it

Meg: That is not allowed, hold still *places hands on Cass's head*


10 minutes later

Sam: What happened to your hair?

Cass: Meg happened.

Meg: *proud of herself*

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Cass: *runs in with 5 ferrets* Dean! Can I keep these?

Dean: *not paying attention* Yeah, sure, 10 mins later

Cass: *runs in with 3 cats, 3 dogs, a bird, and 4 rabbits* Dean! Can I keep these?

Dean: *still not paying attention* Sure,

11 minutes later

Dean: CASS!

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Meg: So you're telling me that Clarence is planning a zoo?

Dean: YES!! He came in with a deer and a tiger! A LIVING TIGER!

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Ruby: What a nice day to be outside.....and go back inside with Sam and try to get him to kill Lillith

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Dean: No, you can't keep them

Sam: But Dean. DOGS!

Dean: We have a hellhound!

Sam: Koifish won't let me pet her, and Cass came in with more dogs.


Dean: Fine.

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Kidnapper, on the phone with Cass: We have your boyfriend

Cass: I don't have a boyfriend

Kidnapper: Then who's the tall giant guy?

Cass: Oh my God, you have Sam.

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Castiel: Look how drunk you are!

Nick: I am not drunk!

Cass: Can you tell the time?

Nick: Yes. *turns over to clock*

Nick: I am not. Fucking. Drunk.

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Demon!Dean @ Crowley: Sorry I'm late I was...uh doing things

*thumping noises*


Demon!Dean: Push is such a strong word, I prefer it 'giving you a little nudge'

Demon 1: Oh I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my foot up your ass!

Demon!Dean: Hey! Watch your fucking language infront of the King of Hell

Crowley: *sigh*


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Sam: Did you wash the dishes?

Dean: I thought you were going to

Sam: Ha. N o

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Abraxas: *slams bunker door open* WHASSUP MEATSUITS!!??



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Dean: *wakes up to find himself wrapped in Christmas tree decorations* I'VE BEEN JINGLE JANGLED

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Dean: Last night I got attacked by a Goddamn ballerina, she tried to make me pass away, didn't the bitch spun away.

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Castiel: Why were you laughing at Hot Topic?

Sam: Aww, you think I'm hot,

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Dean: Cass, who the fuck is this?

The Empty: Hello, Castiel, it's time to go; we made a deal.


Cass: Uh....

Sam: What deal?

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Young!Castiel: I can't swim,

Teen!Raphael: How old are you?

Young!Castiel: Six

Teen!Raphael: *picks up Castiel and throws him into the lake*

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Kevin: *sniffles*

Cass: Kevin, are you crying?

Kevin: Look.

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???: Shut up!


Jo: ¿A quién le estás diciendo que te cállate?

¿Me estás diciendo que me cállate?

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Kevin: There is a vulture in front of my home

Vulture: *chilling on the chimney*

Kevin: *starts spraying water from the water hose at vulture*

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Dean: Prank time! *puts white sheets over himself and sneaks towards Kevin*

Kevin: *screams, gets out of bed and runs*

Dean: *snickering*

Kevin: *runs back screaming and hits Dean with a chair*

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Sam: Are you studying for your finals?

Jesse: *places game in*

Sam: Jesse

Jesse: *turns on Zelda: Breath of the Wild*

Sam: Stop it

Jesse: *starts the game*

Sam: Are you kidding me?

Jesse: *proceeds to play the game*

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Nick: Please donate to help fix this lone man's broken neck

Dean: My neck's not broken

Nick: *shoves Dean to make him fall*

Nick: Yes it is

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Person reading a book, on the phone with Nick: Who is it?

Nick: I'm coming to kill you where do you live?

Person: 77 East Kansas Ave, I live in a red house

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Nick @ Abraxas: Go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick

Castiel, playing the piano: Suck a dick, suck a huge or small dick.

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Nick: Two shots, of vodka *proceeds to pour the entire vodka bottle into bowl*

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Lucifer: *wakes up to find himself covered in valentines day decor*

What the fuck is all of this!?

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Teen!Gabe: Alright Cassie I'm ba- Cassie? Cassie where'd you go!!? Oh Dad...I lost my little bro!

____ 10 mins later

Teen!Micheal: Gabriel, why was Castiel on Eart-....Gabriel?

Teen!Gabe, sobbing while curled up in a ball: I lost my brother, I'm a horrible brotheeerrrr *sobs*

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Jack: *shakes a bag of candy infront of Lucifer*

Lucifer: Put that candy back! I'm not buying you all that mess!

Jack: *throws candy bag at Lucifer's head*

Lucifer: Try me bitch.

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Nick: *playing piano* I hate my self. Oh, I hate myself.

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Sam: Dean, Cass is stuck in the ceiling fan again.

Dean, too tired and didn't hear

Sam: *turns on lights and ceiling fan*

*Castiel screaming in distress*

Dean: Oh SHIT


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Meditation instructor: Let all of the voices out of your head


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John: Adam! My son

Adam Milligan: I am not your son, leAVE

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Cass: How were you able to get inside the laundry cleaner to scare Dean?

Meg: A demon has her ways, Clarence.

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Adam: So, what--- you're gonna repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted, place until one day you snap and kill them?

Nick: Yep

Adam: That's dark

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Sam: You're not going to fight them, Dean.

Dean: You're right, I'm not going to fight them.
.... Except that I am!
*runs towards the danger*

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Basically a video form of incorrect SPN

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Gabriel: *on some anesthesia*

Sam: How tall are you?

Gabriel: *processing words*

Gabriel: .....yogurt

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Demon!Dean: Hey can I have a sip of that water?

Soulless!Sam: It's not water

Demon!Dean: Vodka! I like your style-

Soulless!Sam: It's vinegar

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Nick: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Abraxas: idk why?

Nick: To get to the idiot's house
Knock knock

Abraxas: Who's there?

Nick: The chicken


Abraxas: Listen here you little shit

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Meg: Why are all of the doors locked!?

Dean: A demon came into here so we are under lock down.

Cass: Dean, that was Meg.


Dean: Oh.

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Donna: You better start telling the truth.

Nick: Is the light suppose to scare me or something?

Donna: *nods and turns on lamp light*

*sudden realization*
w h a t

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Castiel: *hurringly gets into car* Drive.

Sam: What-- why?

Castiel: I just robbed a bank.

Sam: What!?

Castiel: I stole a pen, from the front desk OK? Drive!

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Meg: Where's my money!?

Gabriel: I wrote you a check!

Meg: Yeah, I saw *holds up a piece paper with a check mark*

Gabriel: *snickers*

Meg, throwing piece of paper onto table:
You think this is funny!?
*smirking a little bit*
It's a little funny

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Nick, holding a gun: What!?


Nick: What was I supposed to do? He came at me with a knife,

Cass: That's because you ordered the steak!

Nick: not an excuse

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Lily Baker: I miss my girlfriend

Charlie: Me too

Lily Baker: She can't be replaced

Charlie: Niether can mine

Lily Baker: Let's be each other's emotional support

Charlie: That would sound nice

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Donna: *licks coke* Yep, that's definitely cocai- oh no.

Jody: What? What's wrong?

Donna: I can't feel my tongue!

Jody: Well, what do you want me to do?

Donna: Call the police!

Jody: We are the police!

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Cass: It sounds like bones are breaking

Random Demon: Where we're going we don't need bones

Nick: w h a t t h e f u c k d o y o u m e a n b y t h a t

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Sam: Describe Cass in one word.

Meg: Unicorn

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Dean: Would you rather, kill Abraxas or-

Nick: Yes, kill him.

Dean: I didn't say the other-

Nick: I don't need to hear it.

Abraxas: .....I'm feeling a little unsafe

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Jack: Dean, where do babies come from?

Dean: A stork!

Jack: Isn't the baby too heavy?

Dean: It's a magical stork!

Jack: That doesn't make sense.

Dean: Fuck it......DADDY FUCKED MOMMY!

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(spn highschool AU)

Abraxas: And my dichondra is the powerhouse of the cell...your turn.

Nick: The gates of Hell awaits you.

Abraxas: OK...I don't know why he said that

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Castiel: *literally has an entire tree impaling him through his chest* *points at Micheal!Dean* I blame you for this

Micheal!Dean: I didn't do anything.

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Person: Bees are dying out

Castiel, sad tone: What?

Meg: *Holding knife behind Person's back* Don't worry Clarence, they're just bluffing...right?

Person: ....yep.

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Meg: *sitting next to Castiel, who's asleep* Nice..

Castiel: *cuddles closer to Meg, still asleep*

Meg: *choking back tears* NI C E

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Cass: Micheal says your in trouble

Lucifer: Did he find the bodies in the basement

Cass: What

Lucifer: What

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Cass @ Dean: Yeah, speaking of chiming in remember that one time you burned down the building I worked at? Gas n' Sip?

Dean: .....

Dean: *turns to face Sam* Yeah, you're on your own now.

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Castiel: Oh, it’s Lucifer!

Gabriel: Did he get me the stuff?

Castiel: Yeah he said he got you the power drill, the clown costume and 12 gallons of blood

Gabriel: Wow, where do you find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Castiel: You wanted fake blood? ......I’ll go call Lucifer.

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Lucifer: *staring at Fledgling Cass* I don't want this

Lucifer: *places Fledgling Castiel in a UPS box then shoves the box in the mailbox*

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Gabriel: *holding a box of pranks* Ready to do something a little...shifty?

Lucifer: Gabe, look who you're talking to

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Person: Have you ever killed anyone famous?

Nick, cleaning his blood-stained Angel Blade: John Krasinski

Person: ...... He's still alive.

Nick: Well, I've killed somebody.

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Person: *pointing at door splattered with blood* Spooky door!

Nick: It's supposed to be spooky, it's a goddamn morgue, Joe.

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Sam: *cooking food*
*hears shifting noise*
*turns around seeing Castiel in a box of packing peanuts*

Castiel: *bites a packing peanut*


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Nick: and uh...I stabbed him 36 times in the chest


Nick: Oh wow, I uh... I didn't know that.

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Cass: Nick did you hide a dead body in my closet?

Nick: Two

Cass: I only found one

Nick, sweating nervously and thinking; oh shit, one escaped

Nick: I'll be right back

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Cass: Hey man,

Nick: Hey,

Cass: .... What's wrong with Chris?

Nick: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Cass: I want you to tell me what happened to Chris

Nick: Alright.... Chris is dead now

Cass: WhAt?!

Nick: He died hour ago.

Chapter Text


Nick: Oh wow, hey how did that get there?

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Meg: The stars are so beautiful

Cass: They're just giant balls of gas

Meg: you know what, if you're just going to ruin this then I--

Cass: and yet none of them are as huge as my love for you

Meg: Oh...

Chapter Text

Dean: God help the person who's dating Nick

Cass: I'm dating Nick

Dean: ...

Dean: My condolences

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Sam: Sharing is caring!

Meg, holding both of Cass’s hands: Well then I don’t care!

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Sam: It's 11 pm.
Why are you drinking coffee, Turner?

Jesse: Because I can, and because you and Dean locked Jack in a box.

Sam: are you still mad about that?

Jesse: Yes

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Jack: Cass! There's a drunk stuck in the slide!

Castiel: Sir, this is a children's slide.

Dean, drunk: *unintelligible speech*

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Sam: Can someone explain to me why there is an egg carton full of Barbie heads?

Gabriel and Dean: *uncontrollable snickering* Don't know.

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Jesse: Who’s that?

Jack: My father Satan

Jesse: ....what about Sam and Dea-

Jack: Don’t speak of them.

Jesse: What about Castiel?

Jack: He’s cool, he didn’t lock me in the box, unlike the two people who did.

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Dean: I'm sorry for saying 'You're dead to me', Cass

Castiel: Don't patronize me, Dean

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Donna: Sir, is this your car?

Nick: Nope, it's yours
*drives off with police car*

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Sam: Nick, you're within 20ft of people, where's your shirt?

Nick: Please don't make me wear it.

Sam: Who has the number to his parole officer?

Everybody else: *raises their hand*

Nick, wearing a blue shirt saying MURDERER: This shade of blue is disgusting.

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Nick: I'm going to rip his teeth out.

Meg: What did he do to you?

Nick: Oh, nothing I just want his teeth

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Castiel, holding a baby crow: I found an abandoned bird, can I keep-

Dean: No

Meg: Yes

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Cass: Meg, can you help me bring a field of flowers, trees and butterflies into the bunker?

Meg: What's in it for me?

Cass: An unlimited supply of kisses and cuddles, and a batch of cookies

Meg: I'm in.

Chapter Text

Incorrect SPN Soldier Poet King edition

Emmanuel: What a nice sunny day. Time to go to the beach.

Castiel: No. I go out at night

Emmanuel: ..... It's been 9 months since you've seen the sun. You're going outside and I will drag you outside

Castiel: I'd like to see you try

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Magician: *slams cup down and a dove emerges from the cup*

Castiel: How did you do that!?

Magician, whispering: It's partially deboned.

Dove: *trying to fly*

Castiel: Why?

Chapter Text

Lucifer: OK, now rip their heads off.

Nick: Why?

Lucifer, laughing: Because it's fun!

Chapter Text

Nick: I am never trusting you with a map ever again.

Castiel: Why is that?


Chapter Text

Bird: *flies through the window into the house*

Jack: Dad's here!

Dean: He thinks that the bird is his dead father: Castiel.

Rowena: Maybe it is him

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Bartholomew: I broke it, it burned my hand so I punched it.

Bartholomew: I predict ten minutes from now they'd be at each other throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bartholomew: Good, it was getting a little chummy around here.

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Dean, holding video camera: I ate all of your nougats.

Jack: Fuck you motherfucker!

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Alastair @ Sam, Dean, Cass, Gabe, Jesse and Jack: My knife, you see... is coated in poison. The smallest cut can be fatal. Take care. My knife... has quite a burn.

Alastair: I shouldn't have licked it.

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Sam: We ran over his wife!

Rowena: We ran over. A deer.

Sam: Well the deer, had a husband.

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Dean: Sam, Cass! There's too many zombies!

Familiar Zombie: *ready to kill them*

Dean: Is that Chasie?

Chasie: *stops*

Dean: Where's my 20 bucks you punk!?

Chasie: *runs away*

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Lucifer: Is that.. an alien?

Alien dog-thing: *angry growl*

Gabriel: It has a dog!

Castiel: It is a dog, Gabriel.

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Castiel: Gabriel... this is an alien invasion.

Gabriel, wearing a glow sticks: Come on, Cassie! 'Brighten' up!"

Lucifer: If anyone's gonna die first, it's gonna be Gabriel.

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Chuck: I am this close to ending it all

Castiel: Your fingers are touching.

Chuck: Exactly, *snaps fingers*

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Jack: Nick! I did something terrible!

Nick: I’ll go get the shovel

Jack: I-- what did you think I did?

Nick: Doesn't matter. No one will ever know

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Lucifer: How do you extinguish water from a lake?

Nick: How do you set a lake on fire?

Lucifer: Funny story actually.