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On Top of the Bone Pile

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“I need a Firefly, a New England Sour, and three shots of Fireball for table five.” You nod and pull down the vodka for the first drink.

“make that a ketchup instead.” You grin to yourself pretending to ignore the second order as you start assembling drinks. Right… Firefly, vodka and grapefruit juice into a mixing glass with ice, stir that baby up! Now strain into a highball glass with ice, flip the grenadine around first for flare before…

“looks like sobriety isn’t gonna be in their vodkabulary tonight.” Nope, don’t laugh, don’t laugh… grenadine in; allow it to float up from the bottom aaand, first drink done!

“don’t forget the ketchup, they may go barserk.” Haaa nope you’re not smiling… you’re assembling drinks. Quickly putting together the New England Sour you pull out four shot glasses. Fireball in three and on the tray with the other drinks.

“Table five ready!” You call, then pausing, you slowly reach under the bar and finally turn to your punny patron. “And what can I get for you bones?” The blue hoodied skeleton sitting in front of you grins wider somehow and his eye lights drift to the bottle of ketchup you just brought out from under the bar.

“what, don’t remember my order princess? i boozeically gave it to you twice.”

“Ooh riiiight” You drawled back as you lean slowly over the bar top. Cradling your head in your free hand and bringing that elbow to a rest right in front of the skeleton; you extend the hand holding the ketchup straight past his skull and into the waiting hands of one of your other servers who had signaled you for the condiment a minute before. “Remind me of what drink you wanted and I’ll get right on it Sansy.”

His victorious smirk had turned to confusion briefly before settling into an evil grin as you pulled yourself upright. “oh i have a bone to pick with you now girlie.”

“I thought nothing got under your skin.” You shot back rummaging under the bar again.

“heh, usually things go right through me but i drink you know how to rattle me too well.” You burst out laughing and squirted some ketchup into the shot glass still sitting on the bar and slid it over to Sans.

“I’m off in an hour numbskull, don’t go too crazy.” You set the bottle of ketchup down near his shot and sauntered off down the bar to fill another patron’s order.
 



Sans chuckled as you moved away, it had been about five years since monster kind had emerged from the mountain, which meant it had been about four years since he had met you. After discovering the vast amounts of gold the monsters had, the government was pretty quick to allow them to buy/rent homes, and integrate with the towns surrounding Mt. Ebott while the royal family and their child ambassador hashed out legal rights for the future. Of course there were some groups that weren’t exactly pleased with the new citizens, but their complaints were generally drowned out by the sudden boom in the economy. Sans and Papyrus had been looking for a place to live and (at Papyrus’s insistence) had started answering want ads for roommates.

“JUST THINK OF THE GREAT HUMAN/MONSTER RELATIONS WE CAN START IF WE DON’T INSIST ON LIVING SEPARATELY!” Papyrus heroically posed in front of the third doorstep that day.

“i’m sure that rings true with someone bro.” Sans said as he rang the doorbell and checked the address one last time. The door swung open to reveal a human girl whose smile turned to concern at the angry stomping tall skeleton in a white armor like top, red boots, and gloves shouting at a shorter grinning skeleton in black basketball shorts, white shirt, blue hoodie, and pink house slippers to 'STOP', and that 'THEY WERE HERE TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION'. Sans fully expected to have the door slammed in their faces, again. But instead the girl tentatively introduced herself and asked if they were here because of the want ad.

“YES WE ARE!” Papyrus boomed “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND THIS IS MY BROTHER SANS! I SINCERELY HOPE WE CAN BE ROOMMATES AND WE CAN MAKE MY SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI AND BE GREAT FRIENDS, AND WE CAN DO PUZZLES AND…” You had stepped back Sans assumed either because you were trying to escape the volume of Papyrus’s voice or to slam the door, but instead you gestured that they were welcome to come in as Papyrus continued to list off the things they would do together if they were roommates.

“Well umm, you should probably see the place first.” You say as they entered, a smile softening your face as Papyrus paused his friendship rant to start loudly gesturing at, and complimenting all of your furniture and belongings. Sans had only come in far enough for you to close the door, he chuckled at his brother before giving you a sidelong glance.

“you’re okay with us being monsters?”

“As long as you don’t hang out under my bed or in my closet I think we’ll be fine.” You say, a smile once again pulling at the corners of your lips as you tuck a stray piece of your long hair behind your ear. Sans feels that he is missing a joke there somewhere so he just continues to stare at you, which you notice and quickly follow up with “No, I don’t mind.” Before moving off to give them the tour.
 



“What are you giggling about numbskull?” You ask as you walk arm in arm with Sans down the winding streets of your neighborhood. Sans had gotten into the habit of walking you home after your late bar shift after one night he had received a panicked text for backup because a group of drunks had wanted to get handsy with you when you attempted to leave the bar. You could usually take care of yourself but five grown drunkards were way to many for you to scare off with the small bowie knife you kept on you when in town.

“s’nothin, and i don’t giggle.”

“Alright then, keep your secrets.” You attempt a British accent and Sans laughs at how bad it is then bumps you with his hip.

“how’re you doin’ in the new place?” You had moved in with one of your band mates after he and Papyrus had bought a large house a few months back. They had offered you a room but you declined saying your friend needed the rent money more than they did.

“Just got the last of my stuff unpacked a few days ago, still feels a bit weird not living with you guys after so long but… you know.”

Sans did know, he would have happily continued living with you but he needed a place to spread out doing his research and Papyrus needed to be closer to the college he was attending so… they bought a house and moved away from their human.

He glanced over at you, dark brown eyes shining as you searched the night sky for constellations. You really had become his and Pap’ s human. You had welcomed them into your home, helped them to understand human culture, and even defended them against the few angry neighbors that yelled insults at them when they discovered they had monsters next door. There had obviously been some bumps along the way as they got used to living together, most notably that humans have rooms call bathrooms, and that it was frowned upon to have company in them for pretty much all activities that occurred within.

They had reached your front door and stood staring at each other for a second before you pulled him into a hug.

“See you Sunday numbskull.” you whispered before pulling away “And let me know that you get home safely, you had a lot to drink tonight.” Your voice was light and teasing so Sans shoots you finger guns.

“i promise not to drunk text you, but alcohol you later.” You laugh as he teleports to his room and sends you a confirmation text that he can in fact still teleport under the influence of ketchup.

Flopping down on his mattress he frowns rubbing his sternum, his soul had made a weird tugging sensation again. This was the third time it had happened since moving out of your place. Maybe he would talk to Alphys about it if it happened again… maybe.