A/N: Happy New Years everyone
I was totally working on separate projects to this, but Young Justice being resurrected not once but twice on me caused this story, which will probably be updated at random (read: whenever the show or whenever I get a new issue)
Warnings: My dislike for the SuperMartian pairing is voiced by Tim, Bart, and Cassie. I used to like it to but Season 2 made it disgusting to me.
Also, Conner and M'gann seriously remind me of Willow and Tara
Young Justice Outsiders I
Conner, Cassie, Bart, and Tim all stared at the television screen, just having finished the latest episode of Young Justice: Outsiders. Or, technically, gazing into an alternate universe. Because, what better thing to do with a machine capable of looking at alternate realities than to watch a show about yourselves?
Or, a show that was supposed to be about them, based on the title. Superboy had been smug that, out of the four of them, he'd been the only one to show up in Season 1.
He'd gotten beaten for it, but totally worth it.
Now, however, someone else was being smacked around do to the actions of their onscreen counterpart.
Cassie hit Tim's arm. The boy winced, backing away and shooting the girl a wounded look. Sure, Cassie had held back, but still. That girl had super strength.
"Owe! What was that for?" Tim cried.
"You left without saying anything to me? At all! Just waltzed right off!" Cassie exclaimed, tossing her hands up in annoyance.
Okay, Tim could see her point. His alternate self had just ditched his girlfriend without another word, but… Batman! Going against Batman was like trying to go against nature. Like trying to go against an oncoming storm. It just isn't done!
On the other hand, when Tim's Batman had told this Tim to turn on his friends back when they had first become the Teen Titans, Tim had responded by decking him in the face.
"Yeah, dude. Totally not crash." Bart commented.
The other three stared in horror.
"Never say that again." Conner told him.
Bart sniffed. "I happen to like it," Bart informed them, and their horror only grew. "Crash, crash, crash, totally crash!" Bart bellowed, running about the room rapidly and bouncing off walls.
Tim turned to Conner.
"Kon, control your child."
"What? My child? If anything, he's your child! You're the mature, dark and broody one!"
"I don't have the ability to think Bart still." Tim pointed out.
"No," Conner conceded, "but you've probably thought of a half dozen ways to do that without powers, and don't even bother denying it!" Conner raised a finger, silencing the other teen when Tim's jaw dropped in offense. "I know you aren't anywhere near as paranoid as daddy bats, so you don't have a file of contingency plans stashed away somewhere, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a genius in ever sense of the word so you've probably thought of at least 3 different ways to get Bart to sit down since I started this rant."
Tim had come up with seven different ways, actually, but Kon did not need to know that.
Cassie rolled her eyes. Boys. Useless.
"Bart! If you sit down and stop screaming, I'll take you to the Harry Potter Park in Orlando." Cassie bargained.
Bart stopped so suddenly that the air in the room almost caused a mini twister as his eyes locked onto Cassie expectantly.
Cassie, in turn, turned towards Tim.
"Tim, you're taking us to Orlando." Cassie informed him.
"Wha- when did I agree to this?"
"You're loaded." Cassie shamelessly used him. "And the dad of the group. You're suppose to baby us."
"Did… Did you just call me your sugar daddy?"
"Anyways," Conner interrupted, trying to avoid the literal shit storm that would hit if he let these two keep arguing back and forth, "in other news, I am getting married!" Conner announced, not sure how to feel about it but happy regardless.
To Miss Martian. Huh. That was a weird pill to swallow, he'd admit. A very weird pill to swallow, but meh.
Tim, Cassie, and Bart exchanged looks. Conner squirmed slightly, waiting for their reaction. Finally, Tim spoke, although they weren't the words Conner wa expecting by a long shot.
"What is it with you and older woman?" the boy wonder demanded.
"Wha- I do not have a thing for older women!" Conner denied.
More looks were exchanged. Looks that told Conner that they had talked about this before. That they had talked about this before behind his back and had done it enough times that all it took was a look for them to remember it.
The three looked at him again.
"Tana Moon." Tim said.
"Knockout." Cassie reminded.
"Poison Ivy." Bart continued.
"That one chick… Er. What was her. Name? Beat you within an inch of your life before revealing she was on your side the entire time?"
"The one that ran off with the Ravagers?" Cassie asked.
"Yeah, her!" Tim nodded.
"Doesn't matter, stop, stop, stop." Bart shook his head. Ah. Right. Bart didn't like to think of the New 52. Or, rather, he didn't like to think that he'd been erased and someone else had run around wearing his name for several months without anyone realizing Bart had been swapped out.
In their defense, practically everyone had been swapped out, to the point that Superman was off sleeping with Wonder Woman and wouldn't even bother giving Lois Lane a second glance, which was still really weird to think about.
Conner spluttered. Then, jabbing an accusing finger at Bart(and choosing to ignore the other two examples, because seriously, low blow), Conner went off. "Hey! Ivy does not count! She had me under her evil mojo!"
"She half had you under her mojo." Tim corrected. "She had convince you that she was just doing renovations to Hawaii and couldn't even hint at trying to kill someone because you'd have turned on her."
Conner crossed his arms, huffed, and looked away. "We were just making Hawaii greener, okay? What's wrong with spreading plant life?"
"Stop pouting." Tim admonished. Conner did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at him. "Other than Cassie, every girl you end up with is, like, ten times your age."
Conner narrowed his eyes.
"Okay, look, just 'cause I was born fully grown does not make me two! I don't see you calling Bart three!" Conner pointed out, reminding them all that despite looking like a teenager, chronologically speaking, Bart was actually younger than Conner.
"Bart hasn't gotten together with anyone and he is an innocent child!" Tim declared.
Bart turned the color of fresh tomatoes.
"Ah hehe. About that?" Bart laughed, scratching the back of his head and for once looking sheepish and abash.
Tim's jaw dropped.
"No. Nooo, nooo, no. Who took my sweet child's innocence!" Tim snapped to his feet and began to pace back and forth, muttering again and again about how someone was totally going to pay for this and how he was going to take it out on one of the Flashes.
"Age has nothing to do with my like in girls!" Conner decided to have mercy on Bart despite Bart being a little shit and redirected the attention back to himself. Bart looked grateful. He better be, little brat.
Tim turned to look at him.
"Girls? Conner, you're not into girls. Your into grown ass woman who, more often than not, can beat your ass and put you in place."
To emphasize the point, Cassie summoned her whip and snapped it a bit. Conner whimpered. Too late did he realize that he'd made the sound out loud instead of internal like he usually did.
The four froze.
So, of course, the first one to process it a thousand different ways then come to a conclusion was Bart. And, of course, Bart had no goddamn filter so the words slipped through his mouth like water running down a mountain.
"Ah ha! He likes being dominated. That's it!" Bart smashed a fist into his open palm.
Conner shot him a look of pure betrayal.
"Bart, my bro, how could you? I saved you from the wrath of papa bear Timberlina, and this is how you repay me?"
Tim and Cassie exchanged looks.
"It makes sense." Cassie shrugged. "I can pin him down if I try hard enough. Knockout could pin him down easily, and did so on a regular basis."
"Hey! I like girls my age too!" Conner denied. "I liked Roxy!" Conner decided to point out. Ha! He had them there.
Tim's face scrunched.
"Didn't you make out with her once before the pair of you decided it was way too weird because it felt like you were making out with your sister?" Tim recalled.
Conner huffed again.
"I see all of you are against me instead of being happy that I'm tying the knot."
The other three exchanged more looks. Oh, great. Conner sensed a conspiracy, aspired against him.
"The thing is," Tim began.
"Age thing aside, since Miss Martian is technically almost 50," Cassie continued.
"Even if that is teen by Martian standards," Bart said.
"We don't think this is a healthy relationship for you." Tim informed his best friend.
"What do you mean you don't think it's a 'healthy relationship'!" Conner repeated mockingingly. He was happy, in love, and lived in a mini mansion with his hot, shapeshifting fiance. What was there not to like?
Okay, for that Conner anyways. Conner himself hadn't spoken to Miss Martian much other than to yell at her that one time she went along with one of Tim's more asinine plans.
"Dude, she mraped you." Bart reminded.
"What? I was never raped!" Conner denied.
"Not rape, mrape." Tim corrected. At Conner's confused look, he continued. "Her response to you getting some independence and disagreeing with her on something was to rip her way into your head while you were sleeping to rewrite your brain. Dude, that's all sorts of levels of fucked up, and I semi get along with Ra's al Ghul."
"She stopped when I caught her and didn't force the issue!" Conner defended.
"And that makes it right?" Cassie sounded disgusted. "M'gann knows you hate having your mind played with in anyway considering you were created to be a mind controlled weapon, and yet she does it anyways! That's not the action of someone who loves you! That's not the action of someone who even remotely cares about you!"
Conner was starting to get pissed off.
"Look, she changed and I forgave her, alright?"
"No, you started feeling guilty and blamed yourself for her actions when they finally caught up with her." Tim tore into him mercilessly.
"I gave up on her too quick!" Conner shouted.
"Just because you're in a relationship with someone does not mean you have to be their moral compass. M'gann isn't a kid, she's responsible for her own actions and she totally Willow'ed you and I'm surprised she didn't go full out Darth Rosenberg on everyone else." Bart decided to interject.
Conner grit his teeth.
"Okay, look, I'll admit me and M'gann don't have the most stable relationship," he conceded. "But I love her and she loves me and she stopped doing the whole mrape thing, so can't you just be happy for me?"
Tim suddenly stood.
"Well, guys, I'm off to Ra's. I know he's evil and twisted and wrong, but he just gets me and wants me when no one else does and I think I can change him for the better even though his whole master plan is to turn me into his successor since Damian apparently doesn't fit the bill."
Conner face palmed.
"And I'm going to go run off with Ares. I know my brother is the god of war and has been killing for centuries, but who knows, maybe I'll make him see the light, even though world peace would literally kill him." Cassie added.
"I should probably go find Inertia." Bart said thoughtfully. "I mean, I know he's my evil clone and I know he literally killed me that one time, but it's not right for me to turn on him and abandon him to the darkness that he has literally always embraced."
"Those are not the same thing! At all!"
Because they weren't. Yes, M'gann had done something wrong and awful and cruel, but she hadn't gone full blown supervillain!
"No, I'll admit, those are extreme examples." Tim conceded, "but it's the same basic thought process, Kon. She did something wrong and you're blaming yourself instead of blaming her. She's responsible for her own actions, not you."
Okay, Conner could see the point, even if he didn't like it. Then, he came to another realization.
"Why are we even arguing about this? That's an alternate version of me getting married to an alternate version of Miss Martian!" Conner pointed out.
Oh. Right. They'd… Totally forgot that.
"Anyways… Other than Momma Kon tying the knot, you now have a child!" Bart decided to change the subject.
Conner was confused. He wasn't the only one. Bart rolled his eyes.
"Brion? GeoForce, anyone?"
"What? How is he my child?" Conner gaped, wondering what hoops Bart had jumped through this time to come to that particular conclusion.
To his horror, Tim and Cassie nodded their assent.
"He's totally going to end up adopting the kid." Tim said.
"Conner would. He's such a team mom." Cassie agreed.
"See! I'm not the only one who sees it!" Bart boasted. "You have a thing for mentally damaged boys, and you know it!"
Conner was confused. Tim was not.
"Owe!" Bart cried as Tim smacked him upside the head.
"I am not mentally damaged!" Tim denied. "Emotionally, yes, I'll admit, but not mentally! I'm not crazy!" Tim snapped, looking pissed.
Ah hell, Bart just had to open up that can of worms again, didn't he?
Conner put a hand on Tim's shoulder and squeezed. Tim visibly relaxed as Conner cocooned the other in his TTK.
"No, you aren't. You're a bloody genius, and you aren't crazy in the slightest and anyone who thinks so just can't see your utter brilliance." Conner assured him. "Bart's just a moron." Conner said with a pointed look at said Speedster who, at the least, did look a be apologetic.
"I totally did." Bart agreed, nodding. "I meant to say emotionally. Like, that's totally your weakness." Bart continued on with a pointed look at Tim.
"When I adopt the rest of the Batclan, then you can say that." Conner said sarcastically. Unfortunately, he didn't say it sarcastically enough because Tim somehow didn't catch the memo.
"You're going to adopt my brothers?" Tim pulled back, looking offended. Of what, Conner wasn't sure but he needed to figure it out, fast, because Tim was rapidly becoming as red as his suit.
"I-" Conner began, unsure how to even respond to that one.
"He already adopted Dick in that universe. Did you see the two of them team up to take out SuperBat? Epic." Bart just couldn't help himself, could he?
Tim began to mutter a mile a minute under his breath, eyes darkening the same way they did whenever someone made the fatal mistake of denying Tim his coffee in the morning. Even the demon brat Jon liked to hang out with didn't dare do that… Anymore.
Conner didn't catch all of it, because he was mentally trying not to listen, but he could have sworn he caught the words 'mine' and 'Nightwing is so dead' and 'how do I make it look like an accident, does WikiAnswers know?'
That couldn't be right, though, so Conner came to the conclusion that he was obviously imagining things.
Cassie turned to glare at Bart.
"Look what you've begun. Are you proud of yourself?"
Bart nodded happily. Cassie face palmed.
Conner rolled his eyes.
"GeoForce aside, I'm more concerned about how Gar is going to respond to Terra when she eventually shows her face." Conner changed the subject which gratefully knocked Tim out of his own funk. Instead of Tim locked in thought, Conner now was as he pondered how to protect Gar because, seriously, Terra in any reality always left Gar reeling and fucked up.
More smirks were exchanged. Conspiracy confirmed.
"Oh, shut up!" Conner growled.
"Mamabear Kon wants to protect Gar! Isn't he precious?" Tim cooed and Conner shuddered. Tim should not be allowed to coo. Conner wasn't sure if it was adorable, terrifying, or an alarming mixture of both. Probably both.
"Gar needs to be protected from evil thots." Conner declared.
Cassie opened her mouth before closing it. "Okay, normally I'd smack you for that one, but Terra did try to seduce Slade."
"Slade used her sexual attraction to him to manipulate her, though." Bart pointed out in defense of the rogue Titan. Bart didn't much like Slade. Getting your kneecaps shot tended to reduce your like of someone.
"Dick says he's not that bad. And, in a really bizarre twist, Slade and Gar bonded over Terra's death." Tim reminded them.
"... That is all levels of fucked." Conner said. He heard no disagreements. "Okay, let's stop discussing potential psychopaths. I'm just keeping her the hell away from Gar, even if it somehow turns out that she is sane in that reality. Better safe than sorry." Conner said.
Tim shot him a look of pure innocence. Conner instantly grew weary. Tim didn't do innocence. This had to be a trap.
"But, Kon, if GeoForce is your son, then Terra has to be your daughter. You wouldn't be cruel to your daughter, would you?" Tim asked, voice dipped in false sweetness and what sounded like genuine confusion.
"Brion is not my kid!" Conner denied.
"I wonder when Wally will come back." Bart said randomly, pivoting on his feet, cupping his chin in hand, deep in thought.
"Er. Bart. You do realize Wally is…" Conner wasn't sure how to put this.
"Speedsters don't die." Bart dismissed. "We become one with the Speed Force, and can theoretically exit it if given the chance- like I did!" Bart explained.
"... You're making Speedsters sound like Jedi with extra steps." Tim could not help but compare.
"Psh." Bart blew a lock of hair out of his face. "Jedi have nothing on Speedsters." Bart said dismissively.
"You take that back! Blasphemy!"
"Star Trek was better." Bart dug the needle in harder.
Tim could be forgiven for tackling the other boy. Some things just deserve punishment.
"Anyways," Cassie said dismissively as Tim managed to pin Bart down in a rather complicated looking hold, "Dick and Barbara are totally dating."
Tim looked up from his perch on Bart's back.
"Totally. Those two are soulmates." Tim declared without an ounce of hesitation.
"Didn't you date her on- Owe!" Bart cried out as Tim decided to pinch a particular nerve point.
"We don't speak of the Arkham Asylum verse, Bart. We especially do not speak of creepy alternate me hooking up with alternate Babs because that is all levels of wrong." Tim told the squirming Speedster.
"Tim, stop abusing your son." Cassie admonished.
"I thought Bart was my kid?" Conner said without thinking. The other three shot him smug looks which, frankly, made Conner wonder why he was still friends with such trolls.
"You have joint custody." Cassie informed him.
Joint- was she serious? Even if she wasn't, Bart apparently was because in seconds he was crying out to Conner.
"Mom! Help! Dad is repressing my opinions!" Bart pleaded.
"It's a parents job to instruct you in what's right and what's wrong." Tim shrugged, completely unapologetic.
Conner sighed. Tim didn't even make a sound as the TTK caught a hold of him, floating him right off Bart. Bart, of course, response to this by jumping to his feet with a cheer, fists pumping in the air.
Tim shot Conner a look that promised retribution. Conner whimpered.
Bart froze mid run.
A crap. He'd done that out loud again, hadn't he?
"So," Conner attempted to distract, turning to Cassie, "Dick and Babs?"
Cassie shot him a suspicious look, but, proving that she was the utter best, she totally went with it.
"Yes! And they're totally keeping it on the D.L., otherwise Dick would have said something to Artemis about Barbara being their girl in the chair." Cassie theorized.
"Why would they hide it, though?" Conner asked, confused. He didn't get it. "Dick loves Barbara and Barbara loves him. Why hide it?"
To this, Bart responding by looking so rapidly back and forth between Conner and Tim that Conner was genuinely surprised he wasn't getting whiplash. Conner blinked. Um. Okay?
"Good point, Bart." Cassie conceded, much to the confusion of the other two in the room.
Conner didn't get it. Eh. Maybe Tim would. Tim was smart. Conner turned to Tim to ask him just that.
"For once, I'm just as clueless as you are." Tim admitted before Conner could even open his mouth.
"Ah." Conner said. Hey. Wait a second… "What do you mean, like I usually am?" Conner repeated, offended.
"Knockout literally convinced you that she was a good guy and that every other person you knew was turning against you, and she technically did it through the power of omission." Tim reminded him.
"Knockout was an evil genius who managed to outwit Granny Goodness and escaped Apokalypse." Conner said.
"Speaking of Apokalypse," Bart said, "have you guys seen the episode titles for Season 3?"
The other three looked at him oddly.
"Er… No. Do they matter?" Conner asked.
"Duh!" Bart looked at him as if he was an idiot. "If you take the first letter of each episode out, it spells a message." Bart revealed before flashing away. Half a second later, he reappeared with paper and a pen. Tongue sticking out of his mouth, Bart wrote.
The other three watched… And paled.
"Prepare the Anti-Life Equation." Tim read.
The four exchanged looks.
"... They're totally fucked."