Actions

Work Header

Winning Peter

Chapter Text

Chapter 1:

“Who’s that?”

Peter looked up from the beaker and saw Tony Stark, Wolverine, and the infamous Deadpool standing outside the glass doors to the lab. It was obviously Deadpool who had spoken. Obvious not just because Tony and Logan knew Peter already, but because Deadpool was making no attempt to hide his interest. He had paused mid stride, one foot still comically in the air, with his head turned toward the lab and his masked gaze focused right on Peter.

“No one.” Tony answered, at the same time that Logan growled a warning, “Wade…”

Peter rolled his eyes. The biggest problem with working at Stark Tower while keeping his...other job a secret was that when the Avengers came by, they all tended to treat Peter like glass.

“Hey, that’s my name, too! I better go meet him, being name-mates and all!” Deadpool dodged both the claws that Logan swung at him and the arm Tony put up in his way and slipped through the door, locking it behind him.

“Hi!”

Peter had to laugh at the scene. Deadpool standing in front of the locked door, leaning slightly to the left and waving at Peter while completely ignoring the various death threats and mumbling of the two men on the other side of the glass.

“My name isn’t really Wade,” Peter clarified. You never knew just when Deadpool was joking and when he actually believed some of the stupidity that came out of his mouth.

“No, that’s MY name. You don’t look at all like a Wade. Too pretty.” Deadpool stuck a blade through the door’s locking mechanism, then crossed the room to perch on the edge of the table where Peter was set up today.

“Thanks. I think.” Peter shook his head before looking down at the beaker in his hands again and measuring out a small amount, determined to ignore the other man.

“So...who ARE you?” Deadpool tilted his head back into Peter’s line of sight.

“Peter.”

It was probably easier to just answer than to attempt to ignore him. Spiderman had come across Deadpool before, and ignoring him was never possible for long. Of course, Peter had never thought Deadpool would plague the Peter Parker side of his life. Deadpool was strictly in the Spiderman column, and Peter wasn’t sure he appreciated the other man’s attempt to cross that line...even if Deadpool didn’t know there was a line there to cross.

“Peter, huh? That’s a much better name for you. Still kinda boring though. Can I call you Petey? I’m gonna call you Petey. I like Petey. It’s cute, like you.”

Peter looked up at the other man, wondering, as always, at his ability to sound childish and innocent despite the deep voice and the fact that that he killed people for a living.

“I’m…”

“WADE!”

Peter glanced at the door, where Logan was still shouting and Tony was working with JARVIS to open the vandalised door.

“That IS my name! Thanks, buddy!” Deadpool stuck his hand out towards Peter, “I’m Wa-ade!” This was said in a slightly sing-song voice.

Not quite sure if it was a stupid move or not, Peter took Deadpool’s hand in a quick shake. Firm and manly, in a ‘hey, I’m not a superhero (as far as you know), but I’m still not intimidated by you either’ kind of way.

“They really don’t want you in here alone with me, huh?”

“Nah. They probably think I’m about to kill you.”

As nonchalantly as possible, Peter rearranged the chemicals at his workstation so that the more corrosive ones were within easy reach before asking, “Are you planning on it?”

“Nah, that’d be boring. Not that killing’s boring. I rather like killing. But I like killing people who are a challenge and….”

“No killing,” Tony shouted it almost absentmindedly as his attention remained focused on the door.

“AND,” Deadpool continued, throwing a glare at the door, “I’m convincing the Avengers to let me join their super not-so-secret team by dialing back on the killing. I’m practically a hero now!”

“So, let me get this straight. You, Mr. Merc with a Mouth, will do anything for money, Deadpool...YOU are turning over a new leaf?” Was that even possible? Weren’t there standards in the hero book? Wasn’t there a certain level of crazy that automatically marked you as excluded?

“Awe, you’ve heard of me!”  Hands interlocked behind his back, Deadpool rolled on his heels like a damsel in a cheesey cartoon who was just presented with a bouquet of flowers.

“You’re not exactly low profile. Besides, I do work in the Stark Tower lab somewhat regularly.”

“And you eavesdrop!”

“NO!” Peter shook his head, glancing at the door and trying to look as innocent as possible in the face of the look Tony and Logan were suddenly giving him. “It’s just...voices carry. And when people talk about you, they tend to carry loudly.”

“It’s okay, baby boy, I don’t judge you!” Deadpool sideled close to Peter, hunching slightly so he could blink up at the younger man as though he were looking through his eyelashes at him instead of through the white eyes of his mask.

“Are you hitting on me?” Peter’s eyebrow raised.

“Absolutely!” Deadpool smiled wide. “I mean, look at you! Cute face. Cute hair.”

Deadpool tilted over the table to stare, “Cute butt.”

“Hey, no oggling of the butt!” Peter quickly turned to hide said butt against the counter. When Deadpool’s leer only grew at the new view provided, Peter’s hands shot forward to cover himself, face bright red.

“Alright, Wade, that’s enough. Leave the poor kid alone.”

Tony’s attempt to glare through his amusement as JARVIS was finally able to open the door did nothing to reduce Peter’s embarrassment.

“I hate my life.” Peter turned again and smacked his head against his workstation, ignoring Deadpools whisper of “Mmm, butt again.”

“Come on. Out.” Peter could hear the grin in Logan’s voice, “Let the kid get back to...whatever he’s doing,”

When the room remained silent a moment, Peter turned his head on the desk to peer at the merc. Deadpool was stubbornly shaking his head, arms crossed across his chest. Logan’s grin turned to a growl and he crossed the room to grab the other man by the scruff of his neck and physically drag him out of the room

“Ah, but Mom, I don’t wanna!” Deadpool whined as the three of them left the lab, Deadpool’s heels dragging across the floor as the merc refused to support his own weight or assist in the leaving process.

“I swear my life couldn’t get any weirder,” Peter murmured to himself, turning back to his work and seeing a business card on the table with the Deadpool logo on one side and “Call Me, hot stuff” scrawled across the other.

---



[He was cute] If a box could smirk, Yellow Box would be doing it right now.

{Kinda boring, though} White Box added.

“Can we keep him?” Deadpool chimed in.

“No,” Logan growled at the same time Tony said, “I need him, get your own.”

At Logan’s raised eyebrow, Tony sighed, “Not like THAT! I just need his brain. He’s got an interesting point of view on projects.”

“Brain, right.”

Tony rolled his eyes and continued down the hall, visibly refusing to degrade himself by continuing that line of the conversation. Which, naturally, meant Deadpool would continue it for him.

“You can have his brain if I can have the rest of him!” It was a generous offer, if Deadpool did say so himself. Which he did. Say so. Cause, obviously.

[Yeah, we aren’t selfish…]

{Yes, we are} White interrupted.

[Okay, we are. But this time, we just want the important bits.]

“Like that butt.”

The other two, the two that weren’t solely in his head, turned to stare at Deadpool.

“No.” Logan repeated, this time giving Deadpool a little shake for emphasis.

Deadpool pouted, “But…”

“No.” This time it was Tony who said it.

“Can we get back to focusing on the mission now?” Logan was getting grumpy. He must really be itching to get his claws in something.

{Or he just needs to get laid.} White smirked. Do boxes smirk?

[WE need to get laid.] Yellow complained.

“Does focusing on the mission mean I get to kill something?” Deadpool let his face light up with the childish delight that the thought invoked.

“NO!” Both men yelled, frustrated.

“I hate my life.” The pout was back.