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the victor wants none of your damn spoils

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 "Victory kiss!"

"No!"

An explosion of laughter followed in Ichigo's wake, the crowd of shinigami and random others breaking open for him and, sadly enough, his hunters. Matsumoto in the lead, towing poor Inoue along, and a dozen other women in shinigami robes that Ichigo barely knew in passing. Rukia was being no help, directing Renji from her seat on his shoulders to cut off Ichigo's escape or herd him to and fro.

"Come on, Ichigo!" that dumb oaf howled between two snorting bursts of laughter. "One kiss! You deserve it!"

"You realize if you catch me it's not Rukia who's gonna have to kiss me?!"

Renji briefly looked doubtful; he couldn't see Rukia's brief 'ack, caught' look, though, and lunged without warning to scare him into Matsumoto. Ichigo dodged under her grabbing hand and leaped over a bunch of crying-with-laughter Eleventh jerks, seated on the ground to wait for their turn at the medics' but mostly to watch the spectacle.

Honestly Ichigo had no idea how he still had so much energy left after doing Yhwach in and the whole endless trek back down his stupid castle. Probably leftover adrenaline. He was gonna crash and burn something awful the second they allowed him to lay down--

He collided face-first with someone's chest, or maybe a little cliff, he wasn't sure. The guy rocked back on his heels -- hands snapping closed on his biceps like bear traps and oh hell Matsumoto's hunters --

"Yes!" "Don't let him go!" "You're done, Kurosaki-san!" "Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

"What the fuck," Grimmjow Jeagerjaques (alive, jacket-less, mostly intact and-or already healed) said, expressionless, as the wolf pack circled and jostled them. Ichigo stared at him in horror and tried to pull free before he could be --

--surrounded.

Well. Fuck.

"Well-done, Bluey!" Matsumoto crowed, bouncing up to Ichigo and resting a way too heavy hand on his shoulder. "Now don't let him run, it's time for his--"

"Punishment?"

That asshole Grimmjow had one eyebrow up and and his lip twisted in a vaguely amused moue. His grip didn't waver even a little bit. Ichigo whimpered.

"Don't do this to me," he pleaded, surrounded by ladies and a lone Renji. Beyond them he could hear Ikkaku laughing himself hoarse.

"His victory kiss," Matsumoto corrected, mouth pursed and eyes laughing. "You don't think we can let a big savior like that go without at least one? I'm sure that would be illegal."

Ichigo looked around the crowd for salvation but nothing seemed forthcoming. A couple steps behind Grimmjow were Nel and Urahara, both grinning like fiends; meanwhile behind Matsumoto Inoue attempted for at least the tenth time to protest but her soft voice was being drowned out. Everyone else was various levels of blushing and cackling like hyenas.

"Grimmjow," he said desperately, grabbing back at the guy's elbows from underneath. "Grimmjow, if you have a single drop of mercy in your--"

"Hollow," Grimmjow interrupted, a smirk blooming slowly on his face.

"--In your whatever the fuck Hollows have instead of a heart--"

"Nope."

"I will never fight you again."

Matsumoto loomed over his shoulder. Grimmjow squinted thoughtfully.

Then, with a shrug, he swept Ichigo's feet out from under him with a single kick. Ichigo dropped like a stone.

He never hit the ground.

"Compromise," Grimmjow said, looming over him with Ichigo bent over backwards over his arm like a coat not in possession of a delicate and breakable spine, "Punishment kiss."

Ichigo shrieked a little. The sound was smothered in Arrancar mouth.

Chapped lips, the edge of teeth. A hand in his hair, cupping the back of his skull, tilting his head back so that his jaw falling open was just a natural consequence. Ichigo made a protesting noise when a tongue darted in, face boiling-hot. What a stupid joke.

When Grimmjow slipped his tongue back out he trailed it over Ichigo's lower lip way too slowly to be a normal, non-evil joke. Then he sucked on it, teeth digging just a little in the tender inside of it.

Ichigo made another noise. Less 'oh my god you asshole I'll never forget this betrayal' and more just 'oh my god'. Grimmjow's mouth stretched into a smirk against his.

Then he went back for more kissing. Holy fuck. What. That wasn't a joke anymore at this point, it was. Molestation or something. Oh fuck, more tongue. His arm tightening around Ichigo's back, his other hand tugging on Ichigo's hair. Tracing the edge of his lips with the very tip of his tongue before diving back in and this -- this was absolutely a real kiss. Fuck. Shit.

Around them startled silence gave way to whooping, raucous brays of laughter from the assholes of the Eleventh, high-pitched shrieks. Ichigo realized he'd fisted his hand on Grimmjow's collar, probably for a handhold to pull himself back up but now he wasn't doing anything with it but holding on.

Fuck but he was good at it, Ichigo couldn't help thinking. Or Ichigo was just really easy. His mouth was moving back against Grimmjow's without any conscious decision, on automatic. He made a really, really compromising sound and startled himself into flinging his head back, breaking their mouths apart.

"--Um."

Smirking all lopsided and smug, Grimmjow didn't even bother saying anything, just dropped him on his ass. Ichigo jumped back up on his feet, knowing he was crimson from forehead to throat and unable to meet his eyes again. That fucker. That absolute fucker. Ichigo was gonna destroy him when they fought next time. He could totally fight him without looking him in the face ever again, right? Yeah, he'd figure it out.

"Woohoo," Nel said, eyes bright with glee. "Bet that makes you want to fight Yhwach again."

"So he can kill me this time around," Ichigo wheezed out, eyes bulging as he glared at her. "Why did I bother? This world should burn."

"From the outside Grimmjow-san didn't seem that bad, though," Inoue mused, smothering giggles in her hand. Ichigo stared at her, too. Et tu, Brute.

But at least it was done with. The crowd was calming down, Matsumoto's crew simmering down with amused-regretful giggles and whispers. The joke was over and the mood of the crowd considerably improved by -- Ichigo was forced to admit it -- harmless teasing shenanigans. In another minute they would disperse, let him have his well-deserved moment of calm...

"Now for his victory blowjob!" Ikkaku called out from the crowd. Wide-eyed and mouth still tingling, Ichigo turned to face the Arrancar.

Slowly, toothily, eyes gleaming with evil, Grimmjow grinned back.

Ichigo figured out Hirenkyaku on the spot.